#fanny bryce

[kornwarner]

[sonjabysonjamorgan]

hate how distracted i am by the fact that rachel in glee is starring in funny girl on broadway, which has never been done after barbra streisand*,after being chosen like months out of high school considering

its glee

i have watched one musical in full in my entire life, not including high school productions, so its not like i know the full history of broadway or anything to earn this opinion

who the fuck knows anything about funny girl anyways and is paying attention in 2014

it is rachel on glee getting exactly what she wants after 4 seasons, it makes some fucking sense u guys

*i think, ive already proven idk whats going on when it comes 2 theater and/or television

[grande-caps]

Sceencaps || Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir - Season 2 GALLERY LINK : [x] Quality : HD Screencaptures Amount : 16560 files Resolution : 1280x720px

-Please like/reblog if taking! -Please credit grande_caps/kissthemgoodbye!

[potionsprefect]

because of that Nigella post... If you have time, can I request a fic/hc where Victoria teases Ethan about watching Nigella and Ethan casually remembers to ask Victoria back about everything that she asked about his dating life, thank you for your awesome writing! 🥰

Haha. Yes anon! I'm gonna do it as a head canon.

Cooking Discussions

"Tell me why we're watching Nigella?" Victoria huffed as Ethan set the programme up

"Because she's the best chef in the world." Ethan shrugged.

"You've clearly never seen Gordon Ramsay, Jamie Oliver or Fanny Cradock." Victoria replied.

"Please tell me that last one is not real."

"Afraid not."

The programme played on the TV, Nigella was stood in her kitchen, pouring some frozen peas into what looked like a baking tray.

At certain moments, the camera zoomed in.

Victoria looked over at Ethan and was certain he hadn't blinked since the camera angle changed.

She couldn't be angry with him.

She often voiced her thoughts about the men on Love Island, she'd be a hypocrite if she called him out.

"What exactly is she making here? There's not much creativity with frozen peas." Victoria tilted her head as if doing that would give her an answer.

"Art. Victoria. She's making art." Ethan replied.

"I've never seen you this infatuated with someone." Victoria said looking up at him.

"There's you." Ethan said.

"That's longer lasting." Victoria smiled.

On the TV screen, Nigella had put on what looked like rubber gloves and was now (in Victoria's opinion) massaging the frozen peas into the oil.

"Well that's a new way of ensuring that all the peas are covered." Ethan chuckled.

"What is she afraid of frostbite? She should try surviving here in the winter. Then she'll have an excuse to put on gloves." Victoria rolled her eyes.

"Is that jealously I detect?" Ethan teased pressing a short kiss to Victoria's head.

"She makes cooking look so easy." Victoria sighed.

"Did you have an ex that was obsessed with Nigella?" Ethan asked.

"He was more obsessed with what she was doing. Though I guess lots of men have her as their celebrity crush.”

“Who is yours? And please don't say it’s one of those Island boys.” 

Victoria thought for a moment. “I would say probably Tom Holland. I think he’s cute.” She shrugged.

“I’ve been thinking about this for a while. And you don't have to answer if you don't want to. But did you date or associate yourself with anyone else in the hospital before me?” Ethan then asked.

The question didn't take Victoria by surprise. 

“I kissed Bryce once. When we were watching you and the diagnostics team.”

“I’m guessing this was early on in your intern year.” Ethan said.

“Yes. It only happened once.”

“Please don’t think I don’t believe you. Because I do. I always believe you.” Ethan smiled.

“I know that.” Victoria smiled back, squeezing his hand and leaning into his embrace.

The couple continued to watch the cooking programme, Ethan completely focused by what was on the screen and Victoria rolling her eyes every so often.

“Ethan?”

“Yes?”

“If I buy you Nigella’s cookbook, will you cook me some of her recipes?”

Ethan laughed as he tightened his arms around Victoria.

“Consider it top of my list.”

Tag list: @ohchoices @openheartfan @queencarb @genevievemd @iemcpbchoices @choicesaddict5 @schnitzelbutterfingers @alina-yol-ramsey @stygianflood @malakemads-blog @gryffindordaughterofathena @rookie-ramsey @sophxwithers @romewritingshop @ethansramsey @codykosuckmytoe @mrsethanfreakingramsey @coffeeheartaddict @mm2305 @nikki-2406 @maurine07 @nishas-paradise @replayfootsteps @mainstreetreader @anntoldst0ries @aleynareads @lsvdw-blog @kiara-36 @quixoticdreamer16 @helloayz @udishaman @headoverheelsforramsey @shanzay44 @itsjustamesshonestly @emmasumbrella @mysticalgalaxysstuff @adiehardfan @custaroonie @ireneadlerisseggsy @chaoticchopshopheart

[angelhummel]

The Quaterback & The Back Up Plan.

The Quarterback -

My favorite song: Seasons Of Love

My favorite quote: "But you do wake up, and just for a second, you forget. And then, oh, you remember. And it's like getting that call again and again, every time. You don't get to stop waking up. You have to keep on being a parent even though you don't get to have a child anymore"

My favorite moment: Santana's breakdown, and her telling Sue off. Kurt's scene with Puck at the dumpster. Kurt's scene with Santana in the auditorium. Burt, Carole, and Kurt in Finn's room

My least favorite moment: ⚠️ Don't read if you don't want to see me shitting on a dead character ⚠️ Yes, this was for Cory first and foremost. No, you don't usually bring up bad things about someone who's just died. But oh my god Finn is so shitty that they either had to rewrite history or add in stories of stuff we never saw to make him sound good. Saying he didn't have a prejudiced bone in his body when he used slurs on multiple occasions and outed someone. Excusing the whole f**** incident. Puck saying Finn kept him in line when it was ALWAYS the other way around. And Rachel saying how she was always talking and Finn was never listening and it's supposed to be cute. Idk. It's sad what happened but I'm sorry Cory didn't have a better character to play

My favorite character: Santana. I know it wasn't all acting but Naya's performance carried the episode

The Back Up Plan -

My favorite song: uhhh i guess Story Of My Life bc Klaine duet. and the sancedes number is good but it's my least fave sancedes number

My favorite quote: "I realized that the world is even colder than I am. You know, and the only thing that you can do to keep from freezing to death is have good friends around you to keep you warm. So, I decided that I want to use my bitch powers to protect the people that I care about. And I guess that means I care about you"

My favorite moment: Santana and Rachel's talk in the loft. Mercedes sticking her neck out for Santana to get her featured on her album. Blaine getting showered with love. Kurt helping him get ready for his event. Blaine trying to get Kurt included in his musical ventures

My least favorite moment: rachel wanting to quit the show after one episode blah blah blah we all know. also that we didnt get to see santana being awesome as fanny bryce on stage >:(

My favorite character: Santana! for being able to do it all, and being an amazing friend in the process

[96thdayofrage]

A massacre was sparked in a predominately Black town in Central Florida when a rumor started by a white woman Fanny Taylor. Taylor alleged she had been sexually assaulted by a Black man in her home. Then a group of white men, who believed her allegations thought a recently escaped convict named Jesse Hunter who was hiding in Rosewood raped Taylor.

In response to the allegation by Taylor, white men started to search for Jesse Hunter, Aaron Carrier and Sam Carter who were believed to be accomplices.  Carrier was captured and incarcerated while Carter was lynched. The white mob then proceeded to suspected Aaron’s cousin, Sylvester Carrier, a Rosewood resident of harboring the fugitive, Jesse Hunter.

On January 4, 1923, a group of 20 – 30 white men approached Carrier’s home and shot the family dog. Then to make matters worse Carrier’s mother Sarah came to the porch to confront the mob they shot and killed her. Carrier fought back and began shooting at the mob killing two men and wounding four before he was killed.

The remaining survivors fled to the swamps for refuge where many of the African American residents of the town had already retreated, hoping to avoid the rising conflict and increasing racial tension.

The next day the white mob burned the Carrier home before joining with a group of 200 men from surrounding towns who had heard that a Black man had killed two white men. The mob proceeded to attack the town, killing animals and burning buildings.

Black residents of the Black town fled to the swamps were evacuated on January 6  by two local train conductors, John, and William Bryce. Many others Rosewood residents by John Wright, the owner of the general store. Other residents fled to Gainesville and to northern cities. Rosewood became deserted due to the massacre.

At the time of the incident, no one was charged for the murders in Rosewood due to insufficient evidence for prosecution. In 1994, new evidence was discovered and renewed interest in the massacre. The Florida Legislature passed the Rosewood Bill which entitled the nine survivors to $150,000 dollars each in compensation.

Sources:

“Documented History of the Incident Which Occurred at Rosewood, Florida, In January 1923.” The Rosewood Report History, December 22, 1993.  http://www.displaysforschools.com/rosewoodrp.html; “Marking Rosewood History.” The Real Rosewood. 2007. http://www.rosewoodflorida.com/.

[miraclesabound]

Thoughts/Reactions - Helluva Boss: Loo Loo Land

Thoughts under the cut because the episode only JUST dropped at 4 PM EST.

- Did I hear correctly that Mrs. Goetia is named Stella?

- Ugh, little Via is too cute, and already seems to have a good head on her shoulders.

- I didn’t know Bryce Pickham could sing like that! What a beautiful song, and such gorgeous animation to go with it too. It definitely explains why Stolas is protective of the Grimoire - it’s not just for his job, it’s for Via too!

- I think that’s an important message to give your child - yes, the world is scary and it could be falling apart, but we can still get through it. We’re not ignoring the bad things, we’re just doing our best to stand strong.

- “YOU SLEPT WITH AN IMP IN OUR FUCKING BED!!” - ok, that answers something I’d wondered for a while, as to whether or not Stella knew about Blitzo and Stolas and if she was maybe choosing to look the other way. I guess that’s a no on that front!

- Does anyone else want a full version of “My World is Burning Down Around Me”?

- I wonder if Stella is more hurt by the fact that Stolas had an affair, or specifically that he fucked around with an imp. I never got the impression that Blitzo and the gang exactly run around in high society.

- Zebra steak, mice, Orange Coke Zero and chocolate milk in the fridge? I guess the mice make sense for an owl family. What *are* these plants that are all over this house?

- “We’re rich and we’re hot, people want our money *AND* our bodies.” - Stolas. My dude. My good sir. Even if it’s true, that’s not something you say in front of your daughter!

- Ah, the “Stolas says something that even Vivzie can’t let us hear” gag - it never gets old!

- Ok, so “I will fuck you and your wife” from the previous episode wasn’t just a threat, it *IS* what Blitzo wants - I was never sure.

- For pity’s sake, don’t call your affair partner while your daughter’s in the room! Especially when said affair partner always assumes this is a sexual matter!

- I would ask why Loona doesn’t come along for the Loo Loo Land trip, but she is technically just the receptionist, not an IMP herself.

- Heh, I like Moxxie being the dad!friend who keeps the stash of Dramamine and such in his fanny pack. SOMEONE has to be sensible here!

- I don’t think there’s anyone who *wouldn’t* be disturbed by LooLoo.

- Any chance we see LuLuWorld in a future episode, ya think? Or maybe on Hazbin?

- “This place reeks of insecure corporate shame” is probably my favorite line of the episode; when I first heard it in the preview clip over the summer it made me chuckle.

- LOVE LOVE LOVE the design of that dragon demon who’s looking at Moxxie while our boy is getting sick.

- Huh, I guess Stolas *wasn’t* kidding about the Goetia family being targets.

- I’m lucky, I was never really afraid of animatronic characters as a kid, but yeah, I can see why this guy freaks Via out. Also, Blitzo backstory! Awesome!

- I know folks were hoping that Alex Brightman would be the voice of Robo Fizz given his design; I’m glad he was able to be involved.

- Aping Charlie’s song? RUDE, Mr. Fizz! Very rude!

- I suppose it wouldn’t be a theme park episode *without* a rigged carnival game, huh?

- “Does anybody love YOU, Blitzo?” I mean, I know Robo Fizz is going for the jugular here, but honestly, even if they don’t want to be part of his sexual escapades, I would think Millie and Moxxie love our boy!

- Given that Moxxie is physically the smallest of the imps, I wonder how many times someone like the carny has assumed that he and Millie couldn’t POSSIBLY be a couple.

- Poor Nathan! Can someone write a fic for the boy, please?

- “Knight in shining armor,” Stolas? I’m glad you hold Blitzo in such high esteem, but really now, Blitzo is NOT a knight.

- Stolas is such a bundle of contradictions to me - he truly is a doting father, but he can be so careless with other people.

- “Home doesn’t even feel like home anymore” seems like it should be a cheesy line, but it honestly works here.

- I appreciate that Stolas is *trying* to explain, but I get the feeling it’s the sort of thing that would take a long time to discuss.

- Ah, THERE’s the crux of it - Via being afraid of the possible abandonment, not the possible divorce.

- I bet Stolas didn’t use his power earlier because Via wasn’t with him, but since she is, he’s like “NOPE. Not dealing with your imp bullshit today, pal, not in front of my kid.”

- Moxxie riding the dragon! Awesome!

- “Worth it! That slutty toy clown had it COMIN’!” - HA! Best closing line for this episode, I think!

[iimmy29]

BBC Ghosts OC

(Template by @ghostssona)

Name: Elinor Bryce

Date of birth: 28th September 1760

Date of death: 29th August 1779

Age when they died: 19

Cause of death: Stabbed by her sister so that she could inherit all the money Elinor would earn from her paintings

Are they in Button House, or a different location?: She’s at the lake

(If they live at Button House) What are their thoughts on the ghosts there?

Pat: She enjoys his enthusiasm and cheeriness and often wonders if he ever gets tired of being nice to everyone.

Thomas: She finds out about most drama in the house through him, because when he goes to ’drown himself in the lake’ he usually ends up getting bored and talks to her. She finds him a bit irritating at times though.

Fanny: Tries to stay away from her because when they first met she made a comment about her bodice not being tied up fully, this made her upset as the string was broken when she was stabbed.

The Captain: She hasn’t had a full conversation with him yet as she’s pretty scared of him, but when she does talk to him it’s usually a question about where x, y or z ghost is.

Kitty: Like Pat, she enjoys her enthusiasm and cheeriness and she can relate to her the most since they only died a few years apart from each other, but she dislikes the conversations about eligible men as it makes her somewhat uncomfortable.

Robin: She didn’t trust him at first as he kept scaring her every time she tried to enter the house (one of the main reasons why she hardly ever goes there) but he soon learned not to scare her and instead tried talking about cave paintings with her, it was boring, but it was better than being scared all the time.

Mary: She’s not close with Mary AT ALL because since Fanny gave Elinor the nickname ‘Water Witch’ Mary’s taken it literally and runs away shouting prayers every time she sees her.

Julian: She doesn’t trust him one bit. The first time they met he made an inappropriate comment about her bodice (this made practically everyone uncomfortable, I mean it’s Julian what do you expect), so she tries to keep her distance from him.

Humphrey: She often finds comfort in talking to him since he’s usually away from the noise of the others. They don’t talk about much but sometimes Humphrey will tell stories of the different types of banquets he’s been to.

The Plague Ghosts: She doesn’t really vist them because the first time she tried having a conversation with them, it just ended in a big argument (she would usually sneak out when one started).

Jemima (the little girl): She’s never met Jemima but Thomas told stories about her, so now she doesn’t go anywhere near the pantry

Do they have any special ghost powers?: Nope

If they could be seen by a living human, what would their response be?: She probably wouldn’t bother them much, but secretly she would be very happy someone could acknowledge her and maybe even her work.

What do they look like?:

Which of the Friends would they insist they were?: Probably Ross or Pheobe

Other Headcanons:

Her voice claim:

She’s asexual and bisexual.

She wants to be friends with everyone but is afraid she’ll be betrayed again.

As much as it hurts her to admit it, a part of her misses her sister and regrets the arguments she’s had with her as she believes that’s the reason why she killed her.

[grande-caps]

Sceencaps || Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir - Season 2A (Part 1) GALLERY LINK : [x] Quality : HD screencaptures Amount : 7942 files Resolution : 1280x720px

-Please like/reblog if taking! -Please credit grande_caps/kissthemgoodbye!

[randomestfandoms-ocs]

👮 + Aurora?

👮 for a moodboard about my muse’s occupation

I’ve got a general broadway star Aurora moodboard here, so I made this one more specific to some of the roles I have planned for her!!

Row 1: Elphaba (Wicked), Wednesday Addams (The Addams Family), Johanna (Sweeney Todd) Row 2: Fanny Bryce (Funny Girl), Katherine Plumber (Newsies) Row 3: Éponine (Les Mis), Natalie Goodman (Next To Normal), Belle (Beauty And The Beast)

Moodboard Meme

Forever Tag List: @themildestofwriters @gottaenjoythelittlethingzz @pearlselegancies @seaweedhufflepuffocs @erzascarlettitania @the-october-reviewer @foxesandmagic @perfectlystiles @anotherunreadblog @megdonnellys @peacheydelanhoes @papergirlverse @abbysarcane @darkwolf76 @randomfandoming1 @ocfairygodmother @itsjustgracy @witchofinterest @aftcrnoon @ultraocfury - want to be added? shoot me an ask!

[wonderlanq]

as the year is coming to an end, i thought i would acknowledge the people who definitely made my 2019 worth it.

i went through a couple of very shitty days this year and being able to come onto a platform where i could forget everything and truly be myself (and talk about what i liked without people thinking i was weird or an absolute idiot) was definitely a highlight.

before i list all of you who definitely made a difference and had an impact on these last few months, i’d like to say that i’m incredibly grateful (and #blessed) to be a part of a group chat that not only is composed of incredible souls but also composed of people who i now consider friends. friends who listen to me when i need to vent about university or hype me up when i need the motivation. friends whose main concern is trucker!dan and how scared we become when *bryce’s typing* appears on the screen. thank you, cum cums for being fucking amazing!

now, to the list (there’s few because i don’t follow that many people, but you’re all the best):

A - G

@albonalexander // @aliciiaspinnet // @babysdrivers // @carla-roson // @charleseclair // @dearsenna // @f1topayrespects // @festivefewtrell // @grosjeans

H – N

@heccyb // @ilovejevsjeans // @italianoaussiepapi // @kimiricciardos // @landoavocado // @leclercified // @lol-ur-not-fannis // @lovejn29 // @maxdevrijns // @maxverstappen​ // @n-orris // @nyck-devries

O - Z

@papitoandrecito // @perantonis // @riccflair-dripp // @ricciardhoes // @ricciardosf1 // @russell-63 // @sebxvettel // @sharkleclerc // @stressfc // @tororuhroh // @totovolff // @track-walk // @viviansternwood​ // @vroombabies // @zaddiardo​

again, thank you so much. i wish you all a merry christmas and a happy new year. i also really hope you all kick ass in 2020!

[vroombabies]

End of year post!

I was contemplating this for a while now, but I finally sat down to do it. This year was a long one, literally felt like it was two years rolled into one! I got into F1 because of new friends I made at Uni, and then left them to move half way across the world to a country that doesn’t care for it too much. Luckily, I found some great blogs online and ghosted around but never really said much. 

And one fine day I decided to join a discord chat and these homies have made my life brighter. Its been hard to be away from everything I know, but these peeps have had my back to laugh, cry, thirst, scream, rage and even coo at cute pets. I love each and every one of you, even if we haven’t interacted much. Thank you so much for being a part of my year and making the mundane feel like iced tea on a summer day. You guys are brave, beautiful, kind, caring and brilliant. You inspire me to be my best. 

It was @ricciardhoes with her crazy anons and crazier replies, @papitoandrecito my vibe homie, my fellow Carlos stan, and  @charleseclair who is ‘wildreea’ for a reason, and whose uni shenanigans are the funniest -  who brought us together initially. Then I made friends with the other crazies -  @zaddiardo and her beautiful accent and trucker dan, @n-orris with her soap and legendary statement to the young Mr Norris, my dear @grosjeans Madame Grosjean, ethereal and supportive, @vcrstappen our team’s computer scientist/engineer, @perantonis - my #1 fan, and who’s mother I am a fan of <3, - both Portuguese speaking Queens, @lovejn29 my homie from the penis of america, the pet lover, and nails extraordinaire,  @dedicated-healer your wine trick came in handy I kid you not!, @sharkleclerc wise, cool fellow ferrari stan, @morgetussell vanessa, you creep too much but I love your crazy thoughts and statements, and ofc, #FullGas, @tororuhroh ah Bryce, I just wanna say : same brainwaves, thanks for being supportive! You and @lol-ur-not-fannis always deck us with your writing. Waffles, thanks for sending us that great Horse content! @aliciiaspinnet you made points about Seb cussing like an old man and I respect you for that, @f1topayrespects you absolute legend, love watching you work your way forward, @riccflair-dripp another Ferrari stan, I really hope we can meet up even if I don’t come to COTA, love your husky voice bub :D  and my dear @italianoaussiepapi the one who understands my uni pain, but I believe you will power through and ace it !!

To finish up, some blogs I’ve been following on here: @thatfarawaystar and our crazy conversations about Seb and Kimi, you just get it ! I love having Ferrari discussions with you. @chasingpegasus thank you for posting all that Seb content (and now Mattia and Callum, you tha MVP). Also both of you write really well :’) 

And finally other blogs who I haven’t interacted with but see y’all in my activity: @notagridgirl @fabioquartarar0 @alex-alb0n @callumilott @blueishrobin @nyck-devries @silverkasienka  @casillasgutierrez @weakling-grace ! I hope that you all have a wonderful New Year, and it brings an opportunity of friendship! 

I LOVE YOU ALL OKAY BYE NOW

PS: If I missed anyone out, I’m really sorry, my brain has low storage space. ILY nonetheless!

[n-orris]

hello, im andrea and i don’t think many people here know who i am becuase i don’t really post much? but as 2019 is approaching an end, i just wanted to say a big thank you to everyone that i have met in this community, and i’ve made some really great friends. i didn’t proper get fully into f1 until this year, and it being my first year in this community i wanted to make a post dedicated to the friends i’ve made and the people i’ve met :-)

@norrris dasha, the first person i talked to in this community! thank you for being so approachable, and im glad we got to bond more over max’s streams and the fact that he always streams at the worst timings for us :”-) your art is really amazing and i love it so so much thank you for always sharing it with us!

to the nastiest bunch, the discord gc, i am so glad i stumbled upon this gc and im so glad we are still as nasty and messy as ever, please don’t ever change. from bryce’s fics that make us all cry,  to our daily roasting of kat, these are just a few of the messages i look forward to reading whenever i open the chat. you guys never fail to make me laugh, and thank you all for supporting my wish of having lando to run me over i love you all so much. @grosjeans @ricciardhoes @tororuhroh @vcrstappen @papitoandrecito @italianoaussiepapi @lovejn29 (NICOLE IDK WHY I CANT TAG YOU) @lol-ur-not-fannis @perantonis @f1topayrespects @aliciiaspinnet @riccflair-dripp @zaddiardo @vroombabies @sharkleclerc @charleseclair + everyone else i missed out!!

and these lovely people whom i love your blogs, thank you for all the content you’ve put out it’s amazing! @alexanderalbons @maxverstappen @totovolff @landoavocado @stormtrooper3326 and everyone else who i have missed out too!

thank you to everyone for making 2019 such a memorable first year in this community for me and here’s to many more years and memories ahead! have a great 2020 everyone!

[crazybagelbitch]

Training to be the next Fanny Bryce and my dog not giving a singular fuck

[screamqvccn]

Edwina was excited to have a sleepover with the girls in newspaper club. Hell, she was even excited that Mariana had agreed to come. The plan was simple: go to the carnival with Holly-Eve and Violet, get some food, go back to Eddie’s house and Mariana meet up with them later. However, she didn’t expect to lose the two taller girls in the crowd.

“Holly-Eve?” No answer. “Violet??” Her head whisked around as she searched for them. They were probably looking for her too, but Edwina tended to disappear in crowds due to her stature. She went to take her phone out, but remembered that Holly-Eve had taken her fanny pack to give Edwina less to carry. “Great. Fucking great.”

It was hard to get through the carnival, even with the walking boot she had begged her parents and doctor to let her get, so running around for the female Hardy Boys wasn’t an option. She was just about to start bawling when she bumped right into Bryce. 

“Bryce!” Maybe they still weren’t on the best of terms, but it was better than nothing. “Have you seen Holly-Eve and Violet? They wanted to go on the tea cups, but I get motion sick easily so I--” And like a dog hearing a whistle in the distance, Edwina immediately stopped and began hyper alert of something.

Heidi and her goons were walking by, Heidi sporting the new pixie cut she had to get thanks for Edwina, the truth or dare demon, and a pair of scissors. As if a bomb in the crowd had just gone off, Edwina grabbed Bryce’s shirt and yanked him down to the grass and behind the booth they were at. The grass and dirt touching her knees felt disgusting, but Eddie could try about it later. 

“SH.” she snapped, her palm covering his face as she tried to hear the girls walking away. They could hear Heidi’s best friend giggling loudly as the group continued to incoherently babble about something (probably bleacher blowjobs or Fourth of July plans). “Heidi is going to fucking kill me if she sees me. You have to walk with me while I find Holly-Eve and Vi or else they’re going to find my corpse in the Sticks tomorrow. C’mon, Bryce, she won’t dare fucking with you! Please?”

// @bryce-evans​

[pauline-lewis]

Où sont passées les lumières

Les films, les musiques, les livres de décembre ont toujours un goût particulier. Ils se marient à cette joie enfantine de la période. Mon film préféré de décembre a été sans conteste Funny girl, et puis il y a eu le ballet d'Un américain à Paris et les corps emmêlés. Et le temps a basculé et voilà que janvier était déjà prêt à rendre sa sentence en quelques mots clés bien sentis : le feu, l'injustice, la maladie et la peur, la peur qui écarte mes yeux de ses doigts osseux à 3 heures du matin, la peur qui me serre le ventre, la peur globale et personnelle, celle qui habite la planète et qui me ronge au niveau de la lumière qui me donne de la force au creux de l'estomac.

Comme il y a une obsession pour chaque occasion, qui vit en moi et peut-être réactivée en cas de besoin, j'ai brisé la vitre d'urgence et derrière était recroquevillée Lumières, cette chanson lancinante et désespérée de Manset. J'avais besoin d'elle comme elle avait besoin de mes oreilles pour lui dire encore une fois qu'elle était probablement l'une des plus belles jamais écrite. Et elle a étiré ses ailes et elle m’a consolée.

Les ténèbres sont partout, couvertes de cendres

Et voilà que les films, comme le courage, le sommeil et l'amitié, sont revenus à moi.

La lutte

Trois films m'ont marquée en ce mois de janvier et il me semble qu'ils se sont bizarrement rejoints et se sont mêlés au climat politique et actuel.

Il y a d'abord eu Land and Freedom de Ken Loach, qui raconte l'histoire d'un jeune communiste anglais qui décide de s'engager aux côtés des républicains en Espagne en rejoignant le POUM (Parti ouvrier d'unification marxiste) en 1936. Land and freedom est bien sûr un film sur la révolution espagnole mais Ken Loach en fait un véhicule théorique pour nous raconter la lutte dans toute sa complexité : les guerre internes à des mouvements justes (notre héros quittera le POUM pour rejoindre les Brigades internationales), l'institutionnalisation de la gauche, l'anarchisme, la difficulté de s'ajuster au sein d'un groupe... Il alterne la violence de la guerre avec des scènes de joie militante entrecoupées de longues séquences très théoriques où les différents personnages ont des débats assez passionnants sur des thématiques qui résonnent encore très fort aujourd'hui. La propriété, le partage, les ravages du capitalisme, la nécessité de ne pas se compromettre, la place des idéaux dans les luttes quotidiennes. Cette universalité du propos est d'ailleurs d'emblée le projet annoncé par Ken Loach puisque la vie de cet homme est vue par le prisme de l’imaginaire de sa petite fille, qui fouille dans ses affaires et semble elle-même captivée par l'esprit de l'époque. Ce regard extérieur, qui brouille les pistes temporellement accentue encore une fois le propos bien plus large de Loach. Et il semble dire (pour nous remonter le moral d’un propos quand même assez plombant) que cette jeune femme est prête à reprendre le flambeaux révolutionnaire de son grand-père.

Ensuite j'ai décidé de regarder Reds, le film de plus de trois heures de Warren Beatty qui retrace la vie du militant communiste John Reed et (beaucoup moins) de sa femme Louise Bryant (Diane Keaton). Reds raconte la manière dont ce journaliste très engagé (bouh un journaliste militant, quelle honte) s'est passionné pour la Russie et a quitté plusieurs fois les US pour y couvrir la révolution d’Octobre. Là encore, il y a une thématique de la tristesse inhérente à la lutte, puisque dans la deuxième partie du film Reed est coincé dans ses ambitions révolutionnaires par la bureaucratie russe et par des débats internes (parfois un peu longs — vous êtes prévenu·e·s). J'ai eu envie de regarder le film suite à un article sur Greta Gerwig dans le New York Times dans lequel elle parlait des films qu'elle aimait, et comme elle citait Reds aux côtés de Fanny et Alexandre d'Ingmar Bergman j'y ai vu un signe. Comme elle le dit il y a de magnifiques scènes, notamment celles qui, comme dans le film de Ken Loach, montrent l'unité entre les travailleurs, la communion entre les militants. Et j’ai beaucoup aimé l'histoire d'amour passionnée et tortueuse entre Reed et Bryant, tandis que cette dernière se refuse d'être "la femme derrière le génie". (j’aimerais bien un autre film sur elle maintenant) Reds est fascinant par sa longueur, son ambition, son scénario tortueux et complexe et par son postulat même — faire un film positif sur le communisme en 1981. Beatty s’est battu pour porter l’histoire de cet homme à l’écran. Un grand journaliste, un homme dévoué, un idéaliste.

Le mois s'est terminé non pas dans la lutte mais dans la fuite, plus précisément avec l'image saisissante d'un jeune homme et d'une jeune femme sur un porche qui s'admettent dans une série de litotes leur amour profond. Dans Le Village de M.Night Shyamalan qui, après la lutte, m'a permis d'envisager une prochaine étape possible : le retrait pur et simple du monde dans lequel nous vivons. Je ne sais pas tellement comment j'ai pu passer à côté de ce film, mais comme je l'ai souvent expliqué ici, je suis sûre que les œuvres viennent me chercher au moment où j'ai besoin d'elles. The Village raconte l'histoire d'une petite communauté coupée du reste du monde par des bois effrayants et des créatures inquiétantes. Cette autarcie a un prix : certain·e·s meurent, d'autres sont malades, la tristesse et le trauma fonctionnent en vase clôt malgré les efforts de la communauté pour laver son linge sale de temps à autre.

Comment se soustraire du monde ? D'où vient la cruauté ? Quelles sont les racines du mal ? Jusqu'où peut-on fuir ? C'est une erreur d'attendre de ce film son twist, de ne pas l'accueillir en soi au-delà de sa pirouette (qui est réussie, cependant). J’ai été vraiment bouleversée par l’idée de devoir tuer dans le cœur de la jeunesse l'envie de s'aventurer au-delà des premiers arbres de la forêt. D’essayer de leur insuffler la passion et la bonté même s’ils ne peuvent pas voir au-delà d’un certain périmètre. Pour moi c'est un film très profond sur l'idée de faire société, sur le sacrifice, le deuil et — merveilleux — c'est aussi une très belle histoire d'amour. (Oui j'aime les histoires d'amour) Ce plan où Joaquin Phoenix et Bryce Dallas Howard se parlent sur le porche, chacun à l'extrémité du cadre, leurs regards reliés par un horizon lumineux incertain, par un avenir inconnu, reviendra me hanter un moment. Et finalement le film aborde une question qui m'obsède : qui pourrait vivre sans horizon ?

Les romans dans la nuit

Je ne sais pas pourquoi, en janvier j'ai arrêté de dormir. Un temps, au moins. Ça tombait bien puisque j'avais reçu pas mal de romans de la rentrée littéraire et si vous voulez en savoir plus c'est par ici.

Ces romans étaient tristes, pour la plupart, je les ai tenus dans mes bras sur le canapé en me disant que dans une prochaine vie j'essaierai d'avoir des sujets d'intérêt plus joyeux.

Étrangement l’un des plus tristes d'entre eux, Ce qui est nommé reste en vie est probablement celui qui m'a le plus aidée. Claire Fercak y raconte la vie des patients et des aidants confrontés à des tumeurs au cerveau. Le livre raconte avec une justesse vraiment précieuse à la fois ce que cela fait de perdre quelqu’un mais aussi cet état d’entre deux que la maladie fait vivre aux patients et aux proches. Ce moment avant le deuil où il faut déjà dire au revoir à la personne que l’on a connu. Laisser partir les mots que l’on partageait, le langage qu’on avait tissé. Elle raconte ça avec une telle poésie, ce sentiment d’être deux personnes, de ne plus réussir à faire les choses du quotidien. Elle retrace aussi des relations, des amours, des liens. Au-delà du déchirement du deuil, de l’injustice de la perte, j’ai vraiment aimé la manière dont elle capturait la beauté des liens humains. La joie du souvenir, qui perdure. Tous ces sentiments complexes coexistent, et il en reste une lumière, comme disait Manset, cette lumière qui nous empêche de devenir fous. Celle que laissent ceux qui s’en vont au fond de nous. 

Le sujet paraît presque trop dur pour être lu, pourtant je me disais que la littérature était bien ce seul terrain où j’arrive à tolérer ces sentiments que je redoute tellement, ces situations qui me terrorisent, parce que les mots ont ce pouvoir en moi. De me rassurer, de me faire me sentir moins seule. Et les mots de Claire ont cette puissance là, cette force et cette poésie. Elle ne regarde jamais les malades de l’extérieur, elle leur donne aussi une grande place. Elle leur laisse l’opportunité de coucher sur le papier leurs derniers mots, assemblages poétiques étranges, parfois drôles, parfois déchirants. Moralité : lisez-le, même si vous êtes des angoissé·e·s fini·e·s.