#fealty jester

[demenior]

As a side note I fucked around in the character creator a LOT in Bg3, ergo here are some Fealty faces:

I was SOOOOO close to playing as Fealdwulf

Bonus Fjord below bc his ponytail is important to me:

[superlintball]

Okay so a friend of mine was getting rid of some books and she offered up a book called The Jasmine Throne by Tasha Suri

I had never heard of it, so I looked it up, and discovered that it was a fantasy book written by an Indian author which heavily draws from South Asia for its worldbuilding

Needless to say, as an Indian, my interest was piqued, so I told my friend I would indeed like to have it

When I picked it up from her, she mentioned that it wasn't all that great of a book but that she really liked the worldbuilding, and so I went into it with pretty low expectations

What I didn't consider was that my friend is white.

To be fair, I'm not saying she doesn't have a point. Maybe this isn't the most beautiful prose or most intricate plot I've ever read

To be perfectly honest, I don't really care

You see, to her, the cool worldbuilding that she liked was just that: worldbuilding. (No hate to her whatsoever I adore her)

But this is my culture. I didn't even know how much it meant to me to see my culture in my favorite genre of book until it was right in front of me

I couldn't get enough of it

At every chance I got, I was reading

I was in the middle of a vacation and all I wanted to do was keep reading

And then

This happened (mild spoilers for the book):

And I was like ",,, oh??"

I read it again

Then I kept reading

And then a few pages later, this:

OH??????

I just kind of sat there and I processed what I'd just read

And then I took pictures

And then I read it again

And again

And again and again and again

And now I'm just sitting here

I can't

I can't handle this

I'm just sitting here, in the middle of a hotel room, unable to read another page of this book or look away or do anything at all other than stare in wonder

Because it's GAY

I can't handle this

I don't know what to do

I want to cry

I want to scream

I want to curl up into a ball

I want to track down the author and,,, I don't know? Hug her? Kiss her? Thank her? Ask for her autograph? Stand there grinning like an idiot? Offer her my services as a court jester? Kneel at her feet and swear fealty? Those last two probably go hand in hand tbh

Regardless, it doesn't matter what I want to do

Because I can't do anything at all

It's not just South Asian fantasy

It's GAY South Asian fantasy

This,,,

This means so much to me

Thank you, Tasha Suri.

From the bottom of my heart,

Thank you.

[critter-rarepair-reccs]

Hey everyone! Hope y'all had fun for CR's 9th anniversary yesterday 💕 Today we have five fics with divergent canons! Some diverged before campaign events and some in how the post-campaign played out. As always, you can find them below the cut and if you check any of them out, I encourage you to leave kudoes and comments to spread the rarepair love 💕

I dream of you amid the flowers by glittergarbage (66,967 words, Explicit) Pairing: Mollymauk Tealeaf/Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast (Shadowidomauk) Warnings: Mentions of drug use by minors typical of Volstrucker experimentation

Molly comes back after Cognouza instead of Kingsley. Old feelings stir, new feelings are born, and polyam fluff between Caleb, Essek, and Molly ensues.

Reccer Says: A classic SWM fic, to me. It's all so sweet and lovely and I adore the way Essek and Molly's relationship develops. Essek apologizing to Caleb for developing feelings for Molly so fast compared to how long his feelings for Caleb took to develop is just. Imprinted on my brain. And there's so many good moments like that! Also the side of Trent intrigue that comes into play a bit later in the fic is a very fun addition, imo :3

your touch's so sweet (throw me in the water) by quinn_of_aebradore (1,872 words, Teen) Pairing: Fjord/Caleb Widogast (Widofjord) Warnings: None

Champion of Uk'otoa Fjord and Scourger Bren meet to hook up every so often. Fjord knows it's nothing real, nothing that could go anywhere, but when Bren teleports to his ship in the middle of the night he catches himself tempted to pretend anyway.

Reccer Says: A surprising amount of yearning for an evil-AU oneshot, and it's delicious. Fjord knows Bren is a Volstrucker and he still can't resist Bren's obvious moves to manipulate information out of him. Also, it's hot. That should probably go without saying but just in case.

the stranger who was your self by Demenior (60,045 words, Mature) Pairing: Fjord/Eadwulf Grieve/Jester Lavorre Warnings: None

Running away from the fallout of the end of the Volstrucker program (and maybe something Else), Eadwulf joins Fjord's crew, swearing fealty by rather dramatically kneeling before him on the dock and making Fjord very alarmed! He becomes the captain's bodyguard (and by extension, Jester's) and explorations of loyalty and power and, eventually sexy and fraught power dynamics ensue.

Reccer Says: Mostly alternates POV between Fjord and Eadwulf, but also some (very good!) Jester POV. Slow-burn between Eadwulf (aka the Captain's Hound) and the happy couple, plus Fjorester PDA that they think they're being subtle about (they are not). Also featuring Orly not being paid enough for this, despite being paid quite well. Came for the Eadwulf/Fjord power dynamics, stayed for the character studies and also for the crew (and for the power dynamics lbr). Now a series, there's also a threesome one-shot and Orly POV fic, with another installment apparently on the way!

Three Wizards by yesthisisnarumi (1,329 words, Mature) Pairing: Yussa Errenis/Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast (Shadowidoyussa) Warnings: None

Caleb has a thing for elven wizards. Elven wizards have a thing for him. Bickering, kissing, and more ensue.

Reccer Says: There is Never enough of these three in the world and this is such a fun take on them. Caleb constantly observing the contrasts between Essek and Yussa is delicious, the jealousy (that only makes them wanna make out more) is delicious, it's all just *chef's kiss* so fuckin good.

ebb and flow, love's sweet metronome by wytch-lyghts (12,972 words, Explicit) Pairing: Fjord/Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast (Shadowidofjord) Warnings: Recreational drug use, sex while intoxicated

On-the-run, evil AU Shadowgast pays a visit to their ally and sometimes-lover, Plank King Fjord. Unsurprisingly, they fuck about it.

Reccer Says: It's so hot. Like, insanely hot. Most of the action is between Widofjord and Shadowgast, but there's still moments of Shadowfjord and they're Very Good too. These three make Such a fun triad, especially in an evil AU. The dynamics, the push-and-pull, yes, the sex, all of it is so good. My Ao3 history says I've revisited it like ten times and I nearly got sucked into it for another read while writing this recc lmao

Thank you for joining us this week’s recc list! All the love to everyone who submitted a fic 💕 All enclosed recommendations were submitted by the community via our submissions form, which you can find here. All fic information is as it was provided by the reccer, so it may not be accurate to the author’s intent or the precise contents of the fic itself. Please assume good intent from all parties 💕

Submissions for next week’s list are already open! We’ll be featuring Keyleth Rarepairs. If you have any you’d like to highlight, you can send them in here. The week after that, the theme is Polyamorous Ships and the weeks after that we’re taking recommendations for Enemies to Lovers and Miscommunication fic! Submissions for all of these themes are currently open.

If you want more rarepair fic, check out @cr-summer-wildflowers and their event collections on ao3! If you want some friendship after all this romance, take a look at @critter-genfic-events and their recc lists! And if you’re interested in everyone’s favorite wizards, you can’t go wrong with the lists at @aeor-is-for-reccing !

Thanks all and have a lovely day/night/timezone! 💕

[samanthahirr]

Glass Onion’s murder mystery game

Obsessed with Miles Bron in Glass Onion choosing a murder mystery game as the entertainment for his private weekend getaway with his closest friends. An activity to provide structure to what would otherwise be 3 days lazing about on a Greek isle with his “friends.” A game that requires an intensive weekend of solo investigation and observation and puzzle-solving…which Miles himself will not have to participate in. 

Miles has assigned his “friends” homework for their weekend holiday. And their assigned task is to labor and compete to impress him by solving a mystery. It’s no coincidence that the mystery game compels his friends to work separately. He has isolated his friends so that he can remain their individual focus. Note that Miles hasn’t bothered to come up with an actual prize for the winner…because to his mind, the ultimate prize is Miles’s respect. He’s flummoxed and insulted when Benoit Blanc requests a physical reward—and something as comparably worthless as an iPad.

So of course Miles’s friends are relieved when Benoit Blanc blows up the game. Because it means the pressure to perform is off. The pressure to provide the entertainment for Miles, because make no mistake, they’ve been invited to the island to entertain Miles and keep him happy. Honestly, ever since they took his side in the trial, that invitation has become a summons. Can you imagine any of them declining his invitation? It’s a luxury vacation, sure…but it’s also a summons to perform a jester’s dance before King Miles, who can easily destroy them if they fail to show their gratitude/fealty.

Miles’s response to the game ending early is to ask, horrified, “What am I supposed to do now? Play Yahtzee all weekend?” Heaven forbid he enjoy spending unstructured time with his closest friends in the lap of luxury! But to a narcissist like Miles Bron, any moment when the attention isn’t on him must be Hell. And that’s why his murder mystery game was the perfect plan to make his friends compete for his approval, while he sat back and enjoyed the show.

[jmonsaordrenaissance]

It has come to my attention that some of you live in ignorance

It seems some of you think that sweaty ass motherfucker, ex human trafficker, dead beat dad, Babenon "The Gentleman" Dosal is sexier than the emperor of Marquet

Now I do understand the appeal of a dad, especially one that brought Jester Lavorre into this world, I am not one to question the taste of Marion Lavorre, the ruby of the sea herself, and that one time he drank acid was just beautiful

HOWEVER

It has come to my attention that not all of you are making this all important choice in good faith, that most of you are voting for the character who's name your recognize, so let's unpack why you have chosen wrong.

J'mon Sa Ord is the emperor of Marquet, initially described as,

"there sitting atop this throne, you see a slender, human-like entity wearing no jewelry, no ceremonial adornments, no crown, just a simple brown cotton shirt over simple, elegant pants. Bare feet, no shoes. Androgynous and beautiful; you're unable to make out the sex of this creature. It's not a man, nor elf. Not fey, but something somewhat alien, almost. The skin a deep-set reddish brown, smooth and impeccable. The features are extremely fine and delicate. The eyes are what catch you: black like night, but the pupils, burning points of molten metal."

They are beautiful, otherworldly and powerful, not to mention as tall as Grog in their humanoid form

But we haven't reached the important bit yet, you see this radiantly beautiful enby is also

An

Ancient

Brass

Dragon

And they once ripped Thordak's heart from his chest

TLDR

please consider that J'mon deserves your fealty, your respect, your admiration, and your vote

[twilightsage]

@evintide

Rolled the dice for 30 - A Kiss to the Palm

War had been waged between the two realms. Against the power of the both royals their kingdoms had been rent asunder by the power of Ganondorf and Zant. When all was over and the fires quelled, two were left to build what did not stand of its own will from the ashes of what had been ripped down. The two of them were far from the exception. Trauma would go to war with their minds as much as the physicality of this brutal struggle.

But sacrifices had had to be made, for the furthering of both their people.

The mask she wore was one of perfect practice. One tested when her mother had died and she had been overwhelmed with grief, when she did not allow herself a single tear, or when her father succumbed to his sickness and she against all rights could not let the relief spark even for a moment. But the eyes always betrayed it, swirling pools of perfectly cut sapphire, not a speck or flaw to speak of showed the anguish within her.

Her lithe form stands proudly in the presence of another royal, one so elegant a shape. She remembers with sorrow, in the spire of her castle-- what could have almost been her tomb the terrible sight before her. Quivering shape a corrupted blaspheme of what had truly once been so divine to the eyes, now engulfed as well in suffering. Her kingdom bathed in Twilight, her own might surrendered to the whims of that accursed demon and his damned jester of a sorcerer. Zelda had given her all. In some ways they had both sacrificed it all for the other, and before then they had never even shared a word. A connection, an unmistakable spark...

Now before her stood at the twilight of this war had been a shape more beautiful than she could have believed. Many had always theorized and gossiped that Oraiya herself has been sculpted by the goddesses. Her sharp form and flawless skin, always compared to that of divine marble. Now as her eyes look upon the true fairness of such divinity does she only ever truly understand the sentiment. To behold beauty so great it could only truly exist at the blessing of the goddesses, Oraiya truly robbed aghast by the mere sight of the Twilight Princess.

No.

Queen.

Both of them so now, cresting the hill for prosperity. The mask cracks, a soft smile breaches its way onto those alabaster features. A gaze so lovingly shared between the two, relief washing over in powerful waves to know it was finally over. Shock comes next quickly to feel slender black fingers brush so tenderly along the sharp edges of her face. Wordless in all it is, Oraiya knows it is thanks. For the faith bestowed I to a stranger, for willingly giving her life when she did not need to ensure to survival of the other. A solemn one returned as quietly, for freeing her from the puppet strings of the demon, when her features drop inward to caress the cheek lovingly into such soft an affection.

A gaze is shared, deep crimson ruby, formed so elegantly back to their original shape, and their contrasted blues that meet them. So much said without even a syllable uttered. One goes to speak, neither is sure which it is, only the quiet sound of a soft syllable is uttered before it's snuffed out by the slender digits of velvet locking a gentle grasp around the fellow queen's wrist. Slow caress of the welcoming texture up the flesh to its bend, to gently guide the hand before her, her own opposite adjoining so that she might with such care hold Midna's arm in steady place.

"The people of Hyrule owe you a great debt, Queen Midna of the Twili." The other goes to speak, Oraiya can see the jaws begin to part when she interrupts. "Do not think this a debt," her tone is soft, her eyes sculpted to match, "Without your efforts alongside the brave warrior and we would have both been in ruin."

The queen lowers her head, not as an act of fealty but as a gentle show of admiration. "As such, it is my belief, that our kingdoms are as one. Allies. And ever that either should need, the other will be ready to fill the gaps to support." The point of her nose so graciously glides the gentle flesh of the other woman's palm, looking up to once more match gaze as those soft tender lips bless a touch to the surface. "You will always have my thanks, Midna."

[sepheroth]

Send ✍ for the mun to take a crack at imitating your muse. Can be a small silly reply or a more in-depth take. ( Add + plus a scenario or who they’re talking to if you’d like to be more specific) // I’m curious lol

Questions for the Mun!

"Hm..." Was all that he could manage in as the gathering of his thoughts proceeded. However, the detail within those blues of his which grows dim and dimmer illustrated enough upon detail. By the time he'd give way in his gaze unto his now newly formed adversary. As both a broken man and decaying angel afflicted by malady which his mind assuredly had taken him had both twisted and warped his mind. Even though he should not have revealed his blade Genesis spoke and his head casts and offered itself in the way of a thoughtful slant. "If now it isn't the puppy coming to relay his honor and loyalty unto his long since felled master." By that, he means Angeal. In which said name hurt for him to utter, but he carried on. He felt a certain ire within himself the way he shamed and mocked it. It's too late for him to feel regret now. What's done is done. "I'm afraid that honor won't do you good here seeking comfort of your search for a replacement. A fallen brother." And the sweetened venom in his voice pulled no punches. It was truly astounding what comfort in wasting away brought him. His life was fading, his graying wing shedding and fallen away at the feathers to reveal how otherwise diseased he'd been. Head now to sky as though to search upon the horizon which seemed to be dyeing itself within a purplish gray, now blackened sky. But for what he knew it was his degradation that made it appear to seem so. Leather ebony clad gloved hand over his chest as if to have sworn a fealty to his king. The same way a court jester would carry about his merry little way as he imagines himself a role of importance in a make-belief play. His words may have struggled about, grew heavy at first as his mental image adjusted itself to better suit what he is to recite. Now a scene unto Zack, the sight before him may have been puzzling and questionable at best. Eyes once lidded, his speech prepared before he made sure his audience. His company, of course would be watching. "Brother in arms..." He feigns remorse but the pain of his deteriorating away at his insides made it much more convincing. It helped him to better sell his role. His burning lungs burned him from within with just about almost every move that Genesis made. His mouth and tongue tastes of ash and charcoal. "Fulfill me this request and share with this honor...I question not how flaw that it is, or may be..." he'd refrain from disgust as it threatened to give away his flawed pronounce of meaning once he reminded himself he spoke unto a pleasant. And then his brows narrowed, jaws tightened as he's reminded of his envy toward whatever still had a hold a life. He envied Zack who was not cursed by his terrible malady that brought upon him ruin. His eyes stopped searching for a make-belief aim and his head lolled to his front, eyes narrowed toward Zack but his words remained sweet and now infected by poison and ire. "....Has thou none more to of it to spread to the dying?!"

[tumblestones-archive]

Emmet just gently places a burger king crown on Blue's head. "I crown thee King Of The Fools! You go you funky little jester!!" | @fatedforglory​

“bow before your clown king. swear your fealty and receive your nose and wig.”

[skekheck]

All About the Seven Clans: the Vapra

THIS POST CONTAINS EVERYTHING I COULD FIND ABOUT THE VAPRA. SOME INFORMATION WRITTEN HERE ARE FROM OLDER MATERIAL AND MAY EITHER CONTRADICT STATEMENTS OR IS NO LONGER RELEVANT. I WILL DO MY BEST TO STRING IT ALL TOGETHER AS COHERENTLY AS POSSIBLE. IF THERE IS INFORMATION THAT I AM MISSING, PLEASE LET ME KNOW AND I’LL ADD IT!

Clan Index: Dousan Drenchen Grottan Sifa Spriton Stonewood Vapra

High above the Northern Mountains that bordered the Silver Sea Coast lived the Vapra. As the Skeksis’ ambassadors for the Gelfling race, their high societal status led them to acquire an abundance of resources which made them both rich in wealth and knowledge. Ha’rar was not only the capital of the Vapra but for the entire Gelfling race during the Age of Division. It was also the home of the All-Maudra, who doubled as maudra of the Vapra and the matriarch leader of all the Gelfling clans.

The Vapran totem animal was the Imperial Unamoth and their core elements were light, day, and keepers of the future. Their clan color was silver, their sigil was purple and silver, and their pennant color was purple with silver and gold detail. 

Characteristics 

The Vapra were well adapted to their environment as they were hardly affected by cold weather, ice, and snow. As creatures of altitude, air, and lightness they lived comfortably high above on the windy mountains. They were the masters of camouflage as they could easily disappear into their surroundings. Some works said this was thanks to their physical appearance but others, those of which were older, credited this to a type of magic they had. 

They had a fair complexion with hair that was generally light as well. Hair color ranged from white to silver to various shades of blonde. On rare occasions a Vapra had black or brown hair.  It could have had highlighted sections of dark blue, blue-purple, lavender, or all three. Vapran hairstyles were commonly extravagant, even in Gelfling who performed trades or menial work. They could be curled, straight, braided and more, with ribbons and beads for decoration.  The Vapra had a diverse range in eye color which could be shades of green, yellow, brown, grey, and blue. In the J.M. Lee book series, they also had lavender-colored eyes. 

Unlike most clans, Vapra prioritized fashion over function. They had clothing for every occasion or to portray a certain mood. Vapra fashion had an ethereal quality with soft light blues, silvers, and pinks that matched the sky. They wore plenty of jewelry, a sign of their nobility. Vapran garment had wind shaped vestments along the back even worn by those who never had wings. They were heavily garbed with cloaks and hoods whose function was to protect clothing and jewelry from the elements rather than keeping the Gelfling warm. 

According to skekNa the Slave Master, Vapran essence was prized above all others for their restorative effects making the clan an important resource for the Skeksis. 

Vapran Wings and the Art of Flight

The Vapra’s gossamer wings were broad and light which made them one of the fastest flyers among the other gelfling, only rivaled by the Sifa. Their skills were largely contributed from their environment with its updraft winds created from the Silver Sea and manmade airy channels within Ha’rar. At the same time, their abilities were thanks to the Vapran tradition of flight. Like most Gelfling, taking wing was seen as one of the most joyous pleasures of Gelfling life. 

Flight was also a sign of prestige, power, and ability. It was believed that the skeksis placed the Vapra above all other clans was due to their aerial abilities. When winged Vapras needed to settle a dispute, they’d compete with each other in the air to test their agility and strength. 

Lifestyle

Life in the Northern Mountains was always cold with long, dark winters with snow falling nearly every day. Even during the summer the sky remained clouded with very rare instances of sunny days. The Vapra carefully prepared for the stretches of dark winters and shortened days during the summer.

As their maudra was also the matriarch leader of all Gelfling, the All-Maudra was too busy to make time for them. So the Vapra became independent and self-sufficient which allowed the All-Maudra to tend to her duties. Each Vapra did their part together doing specialized tasks that allowed the community to flourish. In fact, the Vapra had the highest population count out of all seven Gelfling clans. 

The Vapra lived luxurious lifestyles, thanks to their access to natural resources, their strong trade economy, and their relationship with the skeksis. Being placed the highest on the gelfling hierarchy provided them with services that were a rarity among gelfling, including the ability to read or write. Although some Vapra flaunted their status in the public eye, most held private lives which they spent the majority of with their families. 

When a Vapra committed a transgression, punishment involved being sent to a gelfling community service called the Order of Lesser Service. Led by the Daudran, the “Members of the Lesser Service” were forced to do unpaid work such as pre-chew food for Nebrie or do a Podling cleaning ceremony  called “deterge” while wearing a jester hat with bells. A Vapra could spend up to a trine in the Order of the Lesser Service dependent on their sentencing. 

Daily Routine

Unlike in other clans, the Vapra didn’t rise together in the early morning. They each had their own unique, flexible schedule to follow throughout the day. It was primarily self-determined and revolved around the Vapra’s needs and the needs of others. They spent their days working their trade and returned home in the evening to be with their families. 

The Vapra were a large industrious clan and had a variety of different occupations. Some of the more prestigious jobs were metalworkers and artisans. They had great access to minerals and metals found within the Silver Sea cliffs and were skilled in both practical and ornamental designs. Artisans, for example, were praised for their metal and colored glass works which were commonly seen in Vapran architecture. Plenty of Vapra dedicated time to scholarly and political activities thanks to the abundance of knowledge readily available to them. 

The Burden of the All-Maudra

According to skeksis propaganda, the role of the All-Maudra was created to end supposed clan discord and skirmishes and brought order to all gelfling. Although gelfling of other clans had taken up the title, the skeksis decreed that only the Vapra could be All-Maudra some time during the Age of Division. As a ruler and ambassador, the All-Maudra had to take care of their own clan, the other six clans, and heed the will of the skeksis to bring it down upon all gelfling. On the rare circumstances the All-Maudra was absent, the successor or a regent would temporarily take their place. 

The All-Maudra spent their days trying to fulfill the needs of the the Gelfling and the skeksis lords, the latter of which were very demanding and impatient, within a timely manner. The All-Maudra had little time for their own clan. Many spent their entire lives without seeing them and simply gaining a hearing with them was considered an exceptional honor. Even their family was neglected where the idea of “duty first, family second” was something that couldn’t be tested. Relationships between the All-Maudra and their successors were constantly strained as the successor went through difficult and harsh training so they would be prepared for the role. The intention was never out of malice, but it negatively affected many generations until the Gelfling Rebellion. 

This role was discontinued during the Age of Power as both Jen and Kira ruled as the Great Elders of Thra. 

The Living Crown

The traditional head adornment of the All-Maudra was the Living Crown. It was a symbol of the All-Maudra’s power, unity of the Gelfling race, and loyalty to the skeksis. It consisted of seven detachable pieces which were only removed when it was time to appoint the new heir. The coronation of the new All-Maudra was a highly celebrated event with Gelfling all over Thra arrived to witness. 

The ceremony began with the All-Maudra breaking the Living Crown into its seven pieces. They give six of the pieces to Windshifters to be sent to the other maudras. If the All-Maudra died unexpectingly, the heir would sing a song to have the Windshifters take the pieces themselves. The other maudras would then go on a pilgrimage to Ha’rar with their piece of the crown, assisted by their own successors and closest council members. Once arrived, the maudras reassembled the Living Crown whilst giving their blessing to the heir. The blessing was also an oath of fealty, not just to the new All-Maudra but what they presented as the ambassador of the Gelfling. If the All-Maudra was still alive, they placed their final piece of the crown and officially crowned the new heir as the All-Maudra.

Possible but rarely could the claim for the Living Crown be challenged. One of the maudras could withhold their blessing and fight for the Living Crown through trials. This occurred during Seladon’s coronation when Maudra Fara challenged her to Trial by Air. A similar crisis like this happened 639 trine prior. Trials like these, as noted by Maudra Seethi, weren’t the way of the Gelfling but of the skeksis. Other gelfling could make legitimate claims for the crown under certain circumstances. Fenth of the Sifa clan had made at least three attempts and was the only male Gelfling noted to do so but was not successful. 

The Living Crown was destroyed during the late Age of Division. Instead of going through with Maudra Fara’s challenge, Seladon made a new crown proclaiming the old one was tainted by the treachery of her mother. When Maudra Fara refused to accept her as the new All-Maudra, Seladon threw her into the Living Crown and broke it. 

Paladins

Paladins were specially trained, mostly Vapran, warriors who worked under the All-Maudra. They were charged with a variety of tasks including protecting Ha’rar and its Citadel, escorted Vapran trade caravans across the Skarith Region, captured fugitives, and go on rescue missions. Paladins with wings also undertook airborne missions. Many paladins were skilled at fencing and riding Landstriders. When one addressed a paladin, they were given the title of either “sir” or “lady”. A paladin was stripped of their title if they acted dishonestly.

For a gelfling to become a paladin, the All-Maudra must knight them. Not all paladins were Vapran as evident by a Sifan paladin and Hup the Podling who was knighted by All-Maudra Mayrin. Sometimes when the All-Maudra had multiple children, if they chose, could lead the entire paladin class. Princess Katavra, for example, commanded over the paladins during the late Age of Division. 

Chrysalisday

Two nights every trine the three Sisters appeared in the sky, which was a gelfling holiday known as the Celebration of the Sister Moons. On the day before one of these nights the Vapra celebrated another holiday: Chrysalisday. The Unamoth, the Vapra’s sigil animal, had an unpredictable hatching timeframe from their chrysalis. Some opened within an unum while others waited a trine or longer. And some never opened at all, which the Vapra used their chrysalises as good luck amulets. No naturalist or far-dreamer could predict when the Unamoth chrysalises opened. Thus, Chrysalisday was a reminder of the potential of the future and the unpredictability of fate. 

On the evening of Chrysalisday, youths carried lanterns down to the wharf where they’d released them into the sky. The lanterns themselves were made of paper, crafted by their bearers, and mixed with flammable bluedust. The dust eventually caught fire from the heat of the lantern and popped in bright colors. However, the distribution of the dust was uneven so no one was able to predict when they ignited, if at all. 

Diet

The Vapra had access to all sorts of foods and spices through trades, making the Vapran diet varied with meats, fruits, and vegetables. Vapran chefs were also knowledgeable in preparing traditional dishes from other clans, putting their own spin on it. A gelfling could get any kind of food they’re craving, but would had to pay a large price for it. Not surprisingly, the Vapra had excellent dining manners and preferred using utensils. 

Vapran food was sweeter than other clan cuisine because of the groves of sugarwood grown in the mountains. They also preferred less spices and seasonings in their food. 

A traditional Vapran dish was a hearty, sweet stew of mushrooms and cream. It was sometimes served with a baked mint-apple over the top of it and garnished with Hooyim oil. Vapran Frost, a type of soft cheese dusted in powdered sugar, was considered a delicacy. 

Ha’rar, Capital of the Gelfling World

Surrounding the cliff sides to the north of the Silver Sea Coast lied the city of Ha’rar. It was the largest gelfling settlement on Thra lined with hundreds of domed, thatched roofed houses clustered together around the Citadel. Vapran homes had additional doorways on the roofs, sculpted with hand and foot rails and platforms for winged gelfling to land comfortably on. Underneath Ha’rar were vent channels created from the wind helped winged Vapra get around. 

As it was considered the capital and hearth of the Skarith Land, it was a popular destination for both tourists and merchants. Ha’rar was in a good location near the mouth of the Black River and along the Silver Sea Coast which brought a large of influx of merchants and goods to the city. Its port market was the best place to sell and purchase goods. Gelfling from all walks of life could be found there, even rare visits from Dousan and Drenchen travelers. 

Important ceremonies were held at Ha’rar, one of which was the tithing ceremony. In the early Age of Division, it was held every three unum where gelfling from every clan made their way to Ha’rar and offered their products of labor to the skeksis. Over time as the gelfling populations grew, tithing ceremonies were reduced to once a trine and were held in other gelfling settlements. But Ha’rar was still honored with being the first to hold their ceremony and other clans still came to attend. It was the only opportunity for a gelfling to see both the All-Maudra and the Lords of the Crystal themselves. 

Outside of Ha’rar were individual Vapra villages, hot springs, the Waystar Grove, and Landstrider pens to its south. Hidden within the cliffs and mountain forests lied a hovel made of stone and ice. In the book series, it belonged to urSan the Swimmer. Her home was filled with charts of the stars and waterways found all over the Skarith Region. 

During the Age of Power, the Gelfling capital was moved from Ha’rar (or what remained of it) to the Castle of the Crystal. 

The Citadel 

The Citadel was the capital building of Ha’rar and the home of the All-Maudra and their family. It was built from carved stone of the Vapran mountains, reinforced with metal, notably silver, and crystal. It was visible nearly anywhere along the coast and was a must-see for any gelfling visiting the city. The Citadel housed the All-Maudra’s throne room where they’d met with citizens and the Skeksis, hosted ceremonies, and held court. Within their personal chambers was a cluster of Unamoth chrysalises as a reminder of the meanings taught by Chryalisday. A secret chamber lied beneath the throne room which housed Lore, a creation of skekGra the Heretic and urGoh the Wanderer, who would help the Gelfling end skeksis rule if they solved the puzzle in the room.

The Citadel’s creation, and who built it, was lost to time. Most historians believed it was built with the help of the skeksis, but most information was transformed into legend. The structure represented as the symbol of the Vapra and considered the most impressive Gelfling architectural feat. Some songs, like the ditty “Twin Castles”, compared its likeness to the Castle of the Crystal. 

The Library 

Just as important as the Citadel was the Vapran library. It was only a short walk from the Citadel and one could easily spot the white marble domed building. It was a labyrinthine of multiple floors, book cases, and spiraling stair cases with its stained glass ceiling illuminated the entire building. It contained an overwhelming amount of tomes, scrolls, and precious artifacts neatly organized and maintained by librarians. Librarians could have familiars as evident by the Librarian in the Age of Resistance and his Pluff’M.

Any Gelfling could come to read or be read out loud by librarians for those who were illiterate.  Plenty of scholars like Princess Brea came to the library to learn. Brea utilized a lot of what she learned from the many scrolls and tomes on her quest, including the book that gave her the vision of the aureyal. 

An ode called “Immortal House” was created by an unknown songteller who was present on the day the library was completed. 

Mountain Hot Springs

Deep within the mountains were pockets of hot springs. Getting there was difficult as the distances between Vapran settlements and the springs were filled with blizzards and slippery conditions which made mountain climbing dangerous. But despite the risks, dozens of Vapras could be found occupying the pools at a time.

The springs also held a bizarre tradition or belief. For one to enter the vicinity, they were required to disrobe. Even hair garments were taken off. The belief was, as the gelfling were only in their own skin, no one could tell what status they had. Whether Vapra or any gelfling from another clan, in these places they were all one.

Kira-Staba

Kira-Staba or the Waystar Tree was a grove of trees that resided within a bay near the Silver Sea. Much like the Cradle Tree, all of the trees were a part of one tree which grew around it like toadstools. The Waystar Trees had an interesting property to it which allowed them to glow blue at night. Its light wasn’t seen from Ha’rar but easily anywhere along the Silver Sea Coast. 

The Waystar Tree was used as guidance by all gelfling, whether it be Sifan sailors or Vapran explorers. It was because of the Waystar Trees that the Vapra founded Ha’rar. It was memorialized in a song called “the Forty Sisters”. The grove was also a metaphorical guider as the Vapra looked to in times of need. The journey to the grove was not easy as there were no carved paths and the winds were relentlessly cold. But when they reached the grove, the gelfling would be warmed up by the light the trees gave off. 

In the book series, in order to reach out to the Vapra clan and help them light the fires of resistance, Tavra, Kylan, and Amri went to the Waystar Tree. With Kylan playing his firca, Amri dreamfasted with the tree to help Tavra carry her message to her people to encourage them to join the rebellion. She was able to inspire the Vapra just before skekSa the Mariner destroyed one of the trees. 

Relationships with the Skeksis and Other Clans

Although there were some Vapra who looked down upon outsiders and held attitudes of superiority, most of them were kind, curious, and considerate. This doesn’t mean they weren’t susceptible to ignorant stereotypes and were less likely to get in trouble for it. Some clans viewed them with contempt. The Stonewood, for example, believed they should have been chosen as the Gelfling ambassadors and weren’t afraid to make such remarks known. These vents never took too far as it would have damaged the Stonewood’s reputation with both the Vapra and the skeksis. Going against the Vapra was going against the skeksis. 

As the Vapra were the skeksis’ chosen ambassadors for gelfling kind, they were the closest to them. The Vapra even developed a dialect that matched closely with the skeksis’ gelfling accent, which they emphasized around the Lords and other clans. In turn, the skeksis favored the Vapran above all others which the clan benefited from the wealth and security awarded to them. Despite the trines worth of service, it was the All-Maudra who stood up against the skeksis and would have been the first to convince the Vapra to join the resistance if she wasn’t killed. 

As Ha’rar had a trade-based economy, the Vapra sought to maintain trading relationships. Arguably the most important of these relations was with the Sifa. During the spring and autumn, the Sifa arrived at Ha’rar’s port and traded goods from the sea and in turn the Vapra exported foodstuffs like Nebrie eggs and Sourloaf. Over the Age of Division, the Vapra and Sifa got into skirmishes. The most notable of them was the Age of Sifans secession movement which was created as a result of late All-Maudra Seladon’s (mother of Mayrin) treatment of them. The other was a shorter diplomatic incident caused by Princess Brea when she erased Elder Cadia’s memories. Both conflicts were solved and restored clan relations. There was a brief period of strong unity between the two clans when All-Maudra Mayrin decided to wed and had a child with a Sifan captain named Kam’Lu. For unknown reasons, their relationship ended and whatever positive implications it had vanished as enforcement of clan separations continued. It was considered a punishable offense, which required serving time in the Order of Lesser Service, if a Vapra dated outside of their clan. This was especially ironic as, in the book series, Mayrin disapproved of Tavra and Onica’s relationship to the point the two had to keep it a secret. 

The most interesting clan relations were that of the Vapra and Grottan. The two clans used to be one, known as the Silver Sea Clan. According to the Song of Six Sisters, the Silver Sea Clan was tasked with not only looking after day and night, light and shadow, but also the past and future. Because this was too much for one clan and Thra desired seven clans, the Silver Sea Clan was split into the Vapra and Grottan. The Grottan had some connection with the Vapra during the early Age of Division as some of their spices were still sold in the market places. But with a combination of the Grottan’s reclusive nature and their association with dark and unknown things, the Vapra wanted nothing to do with them. 

Outsiders often called the Vapra  Silverlings. Vapran princesses or those of royalty were sometimes referred to as “their Silverness”. 

Legacy of the Vapra: Kira

Although most gelfling were seemingly wiped out during the Garthim Wars, some managed to survive. One of these gelfling were Kira. Although the identities of her parents are unknown, her mother was at least of Vapra descent. Her mother (presumably) hid her within a tree, but was captured by a Garthim shortly after. Kira ended up finding a podling village and was raised by Ydra. She lived with them and her pet Fizzgig for many trine up until her fateful encounter with Jen. She immediately helped him on his quest, using her skills she learned from the podlings including bola throwing and animal soul speaking. After she was caught within the castle’s catacombs and nearly drained of her essence by skekTek the Scientist she threw the crystal shard to Jen so he could heal the Crystal. But in the process she was fatally stabbed by skekZok the Ritual Master. She was later revived by UngIm when the skeksis reunited with their mystic counterparts. 

Like Jen, Kira was taught about her heritage but it’s unknown how much of it she knew. She was at least told about what happened within the ruins surrounding the Wall of Destiny that she refused to go there for what happened to the Gelfling. However, she showed leadership qualities. When she sat on throne within the Gelfling ruins, she noted how it felt right for her. She would also rule over the repopulating Gelfling civilization with Jen as not an All-Maudra but a Great Elder of Thra. 

Notable Vapra Members

Brea: All-Maudra Mayrin’s youngest daughter who lived during the late Age of Division. An inquisitive scholar who, after witnessing two gelfling who couldn’t pay their tithe, began questioning skeksis rule. It was through her curiosity that she discovered the truth about them and joined the Gelfling Resistance with Rian and Deet to end skeksis rule.

Katavra: Better known as Tavra, she is the second oldest daughter of All-Maudra Mayrin who commanded over the paladins. In an attempt to rescue Gurjin, she was captured by the Skeksis and later used as a vessel by the Ascendancy to capture other Gelfling. In the book series, she also had a secret relationship with the Sifa far-dreamer Onica. 

Seladon (II): (Note the Roman numeral is not canon it makes it easier to identify the character) The eldest daughter of All-Maudra Mayrin. As the eldest child, she was trained to become the next All-Maudra. She suddenly succeeded the throne when her mother was killed and had a brief rule as All-Maudra Seladon. After a traumatic experience with the skeksis and realizing the error of her ways, she joined the Gelfling Resistance with her youngest sister. 

All-Maudra Mayrin: The matriarch leader of all seven clans during the late Age of Division. Her early rule started when she suddenly succeeded the throne after her mother’s death and quickly had to deal with political tension between the Vapra and the Sifa. During her rule she both respected and feared the skeksis and never questioned their decisions. But when confronted with the truth, she made a stand against them only to be killed by skekVar the General. 

Mira: A Vapran castle guard and former girlfriend of the Stonewood Rian. She was the very first victim of essence draining and her death had a ripple effect on the relationship between the gelfling and skeksis lords which eventually developed into the Gelfling Resistance. 

Juni: A Gelfling girl who was sent to the Order of Lesser Service for trying to have a Spriton lover. 

The Librarian: A nameless Librarian who had a Pluff’M familiar during the late Age of Division. He worked for the royal family aiding the scholar princess Brea with her pursuit of knowledge and was present while All-Maudra’s was tended to. He used to travel with the Sifa and had an unspoken relationship with Elder Cadia. 

Kira: Descendant of the Vapra clan, saved by her (presumably) mother and raised by podlings for many trine. She grew up with some knowledge of Gelfling culture, including what happened to the Gelfling race. Eventually she met Jen and aided him in his quest to heal the Crystal of Truth. 

Seladon (I): (Note the Roman numeral is not canon it makes it easier to identify the character) The All-Maudra who proceeded before All-Maudra Mayrin. Although she made efforts to bring unity, she severely neglected the other clans to the point their cultures were endangered. Despite this and the strained relationship they had, All-Maudra Mayrin named her first daughter after her. 

Dot'leth: Loyal royal advisor and friend to both All-Maudra Seladon (I) and All-Maudra Mayrin during the late Age of Division. When the Sifan Fenth sought to exploit the political void left by the disappearance of Mayrin, Dot’leth acted as regent to stop his efforts from claiming the Living Crown. 

Barfinnious: A paladin during the late Age of Division. He became a traveling bard who told exaggerated stories of his adventures to villages all over the Skarith Region. He ended up meeting a podling chef named Hup and promised to teach him how to become a paladin like him. 

Kel: Also known as Lady Kel, she was the daughter of Elder Vedev who lived during the late Age of Harmony and early Age of Division. She was one of the few witnesses of the Great Division.

Elder Vedev: The mother of Kel who lived during the late Age of Harmony and the early Age of Division. 

[Sources: Song of the Seven Gelfling Clans, the official Dark Crystal website, Shadows of the Dark Crystal, Song of the Dark Crystal, Tides of the Dark Crystal, The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance, the Dark Crystal, The Dark Crystal Age of Resistance, An Epic Return To Thra, The Ballad of Hup & Barfinnious, the Journey Into the Mondo Levidian, Author Quest: The Gelfling Gathering, Creation Myths, Heroes of the Resistance, the Dark Crystal Bestiary, Power of the Dark Crystal, the Dark Crystal novelization] 

[demenior]

Jester would be a MENACE if she had a strap she could feel. Her boy's holes would never know rest.

Hilariously I have been having lots of talks around this, and tbh the main reason she doesn't strap the Fealty guys more is:

A) Eadwulf doesn't think anyone would want to do him, as he's "too big", so people want him to do them. So he never asks if she will and she assumes he's not interested for a long time.

and B) Fjord is a fancy lady at heart and requires a LOT of specific conditions to be met before anyone is allowed to thoroughly debauche him like that, and Jester does not often have the patience to set things up or wait for the right time to do just that.

[pyreo]

I still think it’s great that SU had that royalty sort of theme among the Diamonds, with their highest and most precious gems being in their ‘court’ along with all the fealty and honorifics

And then you have Spinel come along, who you might not think fits into that, except that she does, because she’s a literal fucking court jester

[ao3feed-widofjord]

by GrannyBoo

There is something discomfiting about the halls of King Urtusk’s castle. It wasn’t anything Caleb was able to put his finger on while he and his procession made their way through the grounds of the citadel, it came much later, when he’d exited the lavish carriage he rode in alongside his Lord, Trent Ikithon, silently following along and watching. Observing the behaviour of everyone they passed and cataloguing their actions, their words, unsure of what Ikithon would request in his debrief later in the day.

After he is…gifted to the King.

-Or-

Arcanist prodigy Caleb is gifted to King Fjord Urtusk with ulterior motives from Ikithon.

Words: 2406, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Series: Part 1 of Sworn Fealty

Fandoms: Critical Role (Web Series)

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con

Categories: M/M

Characters: Caleb Widogast, Fjord (Critical Role), Mollymauk Tealeaf, Caduceus Clay, Jester Lavorre, Beauregard (Critical Role), Yasha (Critical Role), Nott (Critical Role), Nila (Critical Role), Trent Ikithon

Relationships: Fjord/Caleb Widogast

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Royalty AU, King!Fjord, Archmage!Caleb, Discovering agency, Identity issues leading to lack of agency, Eventual Smut, Eventual Happy Ending, Slow Burn, PTSD

[silkygoldmilkweed]

Armor of motley versus motley armor in the story of Florian and Jonquil

George loves playing with the differences in nuance that result from rearranging identical words.

One example that comes to mind is the infamous “prince that was promised” (or “prince who was promised”) as he is named for hundreds of pages, mostly by Melisandre, and then in book five, I believe Jon Snow thinks of this person and describes him as a “promised prince,” which is a bit of a different thing.

I believe that armor of motley versus motley armor is another case of George toying with word order as a way of subtly foreshadowing future action in the books. George often links Sansa and Sandor to the legend of Florian and Jonquil. Florian is a knight and also a fool, famous for his motley armor. 

Now, motley is a specific kind of clothing, “the particolored costume of a jester,” basically a patchwork sort of fabric.

But motley has a standalone meaning, familiar to moderns in the band name “motley crew” or more precisely “Mötley Crüe,” which simply means a crew or gang of mixed-up or mismatched or disparate types, topped off by some scare umlauts.

I believe that Sansa’s Florian will serve his final purpose in the story as a knight in motley armor, not in the sense of having a red patch beside a green patch under a silly hat, but in the sense of being from mixed sources and being mismatched--rather than being the uniform style of a household knight wearing the standard-issue helmet and armor of any given region, army or great house. 

To my mind, the motley sourcing of Sandor’s Great War armor is suggestive of two things: (1) Sandor is his own dog now, no longer leal to the Cleganes, the Lannisters or even the Starks; he fights for fighting’s sake, and for personal cause, rather than for obligation, fealty or oath, (2) he naturally shares the values of both the North (austere, unornamented, frugal) and the wildlings (scavenge cleverly and make good use of the mixed resources available to you).

My best guess is that Sansa’s Florian will fight wearing:

* a yellow cloak and boots stolen off the body of a hanged man (6x08, see my lem lemoncloak tag for more on this)

* a leather-studded vest and chain mail scavenged from here and there (worn since 7x01 but seen most clearly in 7x07)

* roughspun breeches given to him by a traveling septon (since 6x07)

* a dragonglass ax forged at Dragonstone for the Great War (since 7x05)

* a borrowed Valyrian steel sword lent to him by the “brother” of a “brother” (??? TBD in S8)

* some kind of favor granted him or handmade gift given him by Sansa Stark, even if it’s just a patch (motley!) or a mend she makes to his tattered cloak with a thread color that doesn’t quite match because wartime and exigencies and so forth. (??? TBD in S8)

[dragonsdogmatranscripts]

Come to Court

SER MAXIMILIAN: This is a high honour, Arisen. See you do not take it lightly. Here are the details… Wondrous tidings, Arisen. The duke is to grant you an audience. His Grace wishes to commend you for your valour and your service to the land. Know, however, that any errand you have taken on will be left to another to complete. You will also be asked to return your writ of permission to join the Hunt. If you have aught left undone, pray, tend to it afore you come to see the duke, ser. I must be clear: Your audience with His Grace will put an end to any current tasks, and you will be asked to return your license to the Wyrm Hunt. Knowing that, are you prepared to see His Grace now?

[if you accept] SER MAXIMILIAN: You are quite certain? No tasks left incomplete? No need for the license to the Hunt?

[if yes]SER MAXIMILIAN: Understood. Then pray, enter the castle, ser. A guide awaits within to see you to His Grace.

CUT to the jester, Feste, laughing and bouncing around

FESTE: Tonight the fisher knight leaves the humble shores of home for the heady depths of court. Pray, let this token from humble Feste garner favour with the leviathans within!

Feste places a hat on the Arisen’s head, who goes to adjust it.

FESTE: Tut, tut! No time for thanks, friend. The duke awaits! Sail on, dear knight, sail on!

Feste ushers the Arisen forwards, opening the doors to show a crowd. The knights turn to the Arisen, and they begin laughing. CUT to Duke Edmun Dragonsbane, who waves someone away and leans forward on his throne. CUT to the Arisen, and back to a chuckling Duke Edmun.

DUKE EDMUN: ... I fear your crown outshines my own.

CUT to the Knights and Ser Mercedes laughing. CUT to Julien who doesn't laugh, merely glancing at the Arisen. The Arisen looks around, confused. CUT back to Duke Edmun, who stands and raises his hand to silence everyone.

CUT to the Arisen who kneels while Duke Edmun approaches them. One of the servants follows, kneeling with a sword offered up. Duke Edmun takes the sword.

DUKE EDMUN: By my command: Every road in Gransys shall be open to you henceforth as a member of the Wyrm Hunt.

With that, the Duke touches the sword to both of the Arisen's shoulders. He gives the sword to the kneeling servant, turning and walking back to his throne.

DUKE EDMUN: May your efforts help deliver us from the shadows of the dragon. As long as that damnable beast draws breath, I'll fain accept any help on offer.

Now on his throne, he turns to his servant who whispers something to him. The Duke nods, turning to the Arisen.

DUKE EDMUN: All through my reign, I foresaw the coming of this danger. And so I gathered men into armies, stones into strongholds. I readied for war. And then you, Arisen... You came to us, and the dragon with you. Pray, think on the meaning of that, and on your duty.

CUT to Mercedes.

MERCEDES: Arisen... Hail, ser. It seems you truly stand apart from the rest of us. Some sneered when I presented the hydra's head. Said it was your feat alone that won it. In truth, I cannot deny it. I had no hand in it... 'Tis plain fact. But what of the Enlistment Corps, then? What meaning does our fealty hold? I have no answer to give my men... To give myself.

CUT to Julien.

JULIEN: The sovereign of this land ill comprehends the urgency of the danger it faces. This eve's empty pomp is ample proof. All gaiety, without a hint of real concern. I'll allow, 'tis well understandable. A people numbed by two generations of peace cannot be expected to know true resolve. 'Tis a lesson taught by fire and sacrifice. Pray, let His Grace learn before the fire takes all... But I ought not speak in such bold terms before His Grace.

CUT to Feste

FESTE: Ah! The glorious return of the inimitable, the indomitable, the unforgettable... Scratch that last one. Who were you again?

CUT to Aelinore kneeling, picking flowers. She turns her head, huffing in amusement. CUT to the confused Arisen.

AELINORE: ... My, my. Apologies, dear warrior. But to see a face austere as the castle walls adorned with... this.

CUT to Aelinore pointing to the Jester hat; the Arisen reaches up, mortified. Aelinore giggles.

AELINORE: Still, 'tis more agreeable than the endlessly dour air of most of my husbands sworn swords. Valor dwells in the heart, after all. The brave ought not need their raiment to speak for their mettle, no?

CUT to the Arisen leaving, being stopped by Aldous and a soldier. The soldier salutes the Arisen.

SER ALVERT: By decree of the duke, you are to be allowed free passage into the castle. This right extends only to your person, and you are advised to comport yourself fittingly. A grievous breach in conduct will see you removed from the castle, or worse... You will take your orders from the duke's chamberlain, Aldous. Speak to him for further instruction. May the Maker see you on to further glories, ser.

ALDOUS: How fared your audience with His Grace, Arisen? Aldous Ludric Sorn, at your service, ser. I serve as a chamberlain in the duke's court. As you may have seen for yourself, it seems His Grace is unwell. In truth, there is worry enough to make any man's head ache, but I fear he ails of worse than worry. Perhaps I ought not speak further on the matter, for my own wellbeing... I am charged with assigning Royal Orders, tasks of great import issued by the duke himself. Pray, forgive the bother, but I ask that you come see me here in the castle whenever circumstances allow you to take on assignment. The future of this war is murky, ser. May your efforts help to bring its end into sight.

[littlesneak-blog]

Keldor and the Masters of the Universe

so @kxldor ’s post got me wondering, if Keldor had never rebelled against the Elders, where would that leave everyone? This is all I’ve thought of so far, but if anyone else can think of more feel free to add

So first off, the Defenders wouldn’t be a thing. Unless I’m mistaken, the Defenders (the five man band of Man-at-arms, Mekaneck, Ram-man, Stratos, and Randor) banded together mainly to protect the Elders from Keldor and his warriors. If Keldor never rebelled against the Elders, then this team just wouldn’t happen. I think Mekaneck and Ram-man still get their injuries and bionic replacements by Duncan, so they’d be friends with Duncan on the basis of needing to go to him for adjustments and the like, but they aren’t close to Stratos or Randor. Duncan sees Stratos as a king and nothing else, while Mekaneck and Ram-man rarely see Stratos or speak to him; he’s just too far above their rank. Though Stratos and Randor respect each other their primary interactions are diplomatic. Duncan is still the Man-at-arms, but he’s not Randor’s advisor. Keldor fills that role.

Speaking of which, Duncan wouldn’t be Randor’s best friend. They might not even be friends at all, definitely not on first-name basis. The way I see it, the time that Randor got closest to Duncan was when Keldor split off to rebel. A little while later, during the Great Unrest, Fisto “deserts.” So both Duncan and Randor are missing their brothers, and they relate to each other and their relationship strengthens to where Duncan is Randor’s closest friend, right next to Marlena. But because Keldor never left, Randor wouldn’t grow as close to Duncan as he does in the original timeline. Likewise, I think Duncan would have mended fences a little with Fisto because he doesn’t have Randor. They’re still not friends, but they keep in touch.

Because Randor and Duncan aren’t friends, this means Adam and Teela didn’t grow up together. She’s Captain of the Guard, and he’s the Crown Prince. They know each other, sure, but their positions keep them apart, and they’re not always being grouped together by their parents. They’re pretty formal together. That’s pretty interesting, seeing as their destinies are very closely related. When Duncan takes Adam to Castle Grayskull and Adam becomes He-man, Adam would start talking to Teela a lot more because he would run into her more often, and he starts to enjoy being around her. Meanwhile, Teela develops a crush on the mysterious warrior He-man around the same time the crown prince starts hanging out with her father for some reason.

With Orko, we have two options. One, this timeline change of Keldor never rebelling somehow leads to Adam never ending up in the tar swamp, so Orko never looses his wand but also never saves Adam’s life and never becomes court jester. He probably wanders the land, constantly looking for a way home, looting ancient libraries, helping people where he can. The heroic warriors in this continuity have probably bumped into him several times. If Orko’s ‘fated’ to loose his wand (which makes sense, he really tips the scales too much towards the good guys if he doesn’t), he probably does so helping He-man & co. fight off some bad guy, and that’s when they take him in. Alternatively, if Orko does loose his wand saving Adam, then he becomes Keldor’s apprentice. Because Orko’s unable to return to Trolla, he’s pretty much lost everything. Being Keldor’s apprentice would create a sense of belonging that he doesn’t have in the OG timeline, so I think he would cling to that as much as he can. He wears purple and makes a lot of friendship bracelets. Too many. Keldor wears one but Orko wears about twenty. Keldor is known to get /very/ annoyed with those who speak ill of his apprentice.

About He-man, Keldor would be constantly getting closer to finding out Adam’s secret. Keldor strikes me as someone very observant, and he’d pick up that something strange was going on once Adam started running away from battles. Furthermore, he’d be interested in this “He-man” who appeared out of nowhere. Keldor already knows that Grayskull is a powerful place, and is familiar with the Sorceress’s existence (although he has never personally met her). He also knows that He-man is tied to Grayskull in some way, and he also knows that Man-at-arms knows much more than he is letting on, though what exactly Keldor can’t say. If Orko finds out, add that his apprentice who never shuts up is successfully keeping something from him and Keldor is more than ready to play detective and try to put together all the pieces of the puzzle.

Now for the Evil warriors. Keldor never brings them together as a group, obviously.

Evil-Lyn, just known as Lyn in this timeline, would be Guardian of the Ram Stone, possibly taking the place of her father the Faceless One. When she met Keldor in the series, I feel like she was in an experimental stage in her life and was trying to find her purpose. If she had never met Keldor, she might have eventually returned to Zalesia. I when she returned, the Faceless One would decide to “fade away” and give her control over the temple. Which means, assuming she got the Havoc Staff from her father and gave it to Keldor, or that Keldor stole it from the temple, she might wield the Havoc Staff. Seeing as she lives in a giant ram temple and has a ram staff and guards the Ram Stone, she has ram-themed clothes too. I’m thinking a cool helmet with horns that come down around her face, and ram-themed gauntlets. Because she’s not cursed like the Faceless One, she’s able to leave the temple, but she mostly keeps to herself and her magic books. She’s constantly improving and gaining more power, and she is a very formidable opponent in battle. Because Evil-lyn is the best, of course she and Keldor have to work together for some reason and she becomes like his right-hand man and they’re an awesome team and I love them, okay?

Beastman, idk. He terrorizes villagers or something. Without Skeletor funding his endless menagerie of pets or using Beastman’s talents to raise endless armies of creatures from distant lands, I don’t think he’d be able to amass too much power. He’s dangerous, but he doesn’t have any grand schemes for destruction or anything.

Mer-man is living the dream. He’s king of the ocean and does not have to serve Skeletor. His hobbies are opposing Randor’s rule. Relations between Mer-man and Randor’s kingdoms are tense at best, outright war at worst.

Tri-clops is interesting…He’s kind of the “noble” bad guy, so I don’t think it’s far fetched to assume he might end up fighting alongside He-man and Keldor. You get the sense that he doesn’t have a passion for getting power and working for Skeletor, but that it’s a job to him, like he’s been bound by his word to serve Skeletor or something. The same might happen to Keldor, where Keldor saves his life and he pledges fealty to Keldor and becomes his bodyguard. Keldor doesn’t treat Tri-clops as a servant and instead he becomes one of his closest friends. Tri-clops and Teela also work close together and get along well, almost like an brother-sister relationship. If he gets his cyborg eyes it’s because Man-at-arms builds something for him, but it’s also cool if he’s blind and just so good with sword-fighting he doesn’t need eyes. He and Keldor develop feelings for each other, and everyone ships it long before they kiss.

Trap-jaw is leader of a thriving gang in Eternos. Maybe he has Clawful employed. Because he never lost his arm and jaw under the employment of Keldor, he’s known as Kronis. He’s started building new weapons to terrorize citizens and keep the guards on their toes.

[miamibeerscene]

It’s all about the bees. Jester King Queen’s Order

Jester King Queen’s Order debuts at the brewery in Austin, Texas on May 19th.

The base beer is a farmhouse ale brewed with Texas-grown Eureka and Ujukitsu lemons, along with Texas Guajillo honey.Brewed back in February of the year, Jester King Queen’s Order was fermented in stainless steel with a blend of native yeast and bacteria.

“Queen’s Order” is a nod to the 1,000s of little workers that make the sticky, delicious nectar both in Texas and beyond. Austin is home to the National Honey Beer Summit taking place later this month.

Look at them crank. These are the tiny, well-oiled gears of an industry. They are paragons of fealty; each of their lifespans represents the durability of a replaceable component in a machine built for another’s purpose. It is fascinating to watch them buzz along endlessly like characters in their own dystopian novel, unaware of their audience and unable to afford a single thought beyond the Queen’s Order.

Jester King Queen’s Order will be available in 750 milliliter bottles and draft when the brewery opens on May 19th.

Style: American Wild Ale (w/ Honey. Lemons.) Hops: Perle Malts: Pilsner, Spelt, Rolled Oats

Availability: 750ml Bottles Debut: 5/19/17

4% ABV

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