#feel free to add anything I missed because I bet there's more

[offonaherosjourney]

A non-comprehensive list of all the times Miles Bron fucked up

He drove his extremely noticeable car on his way to murder someone.

There is a non zero chance that he didn't invite Andi to pretend he didn't know she was dead, but because he legit forgot to remove her from the list of people that would receive the puzzle boxes.

After seeing that either 1) the woman he tried to kill is still alive or that 2) her twin sister is on his island posing as the woman he killed he goes and insists that the WORLD'S GREATEST DETECTIVE, who had showed up on his island, stays.

He chose to hide the napkin that would prove he lied and that literally connect him to a murder instead of destroying it ASAP.

Also, he doesn't bother to remove or destroy the fax that Lionel sent him that would prove he could have been responsible for Andi's murder.

While he makes sure to wear gloves when he shoots "Andi", he didn't wear gloves when he took the gun from Duke so his fingerprints will show up on that gun.

He puts Duke's phone on his backpocket. You can see it easily there for the rest of the movie. He could have hidden it or gotten rid of it while the lights were out but nope, it stays on his backpocket.

If he wanted to avoid at all costs that his friends found out about Andi's death, he could have cut of the internet at any point.

He rigged the Mona Lisa's security system so that even a loud fart could make it pop open for fucks sake. And sure, ultimately its his fault the painting burns down, but... Had it not been fire it would have been something else. Old paintings are extremely finnicky, and he had it blasted by humidity, wind and sunlight, not to mention the bugs that could get inside the glass cage every time it opened. Had that paining eventually made it back to the Louvre, its curators would not have been happy.

TL;DR: MILES BRON IS AN IDIOT

[parkerflix]

—ethan landry nsfw hc’s

ethan landry brainrot is real

18+ mdni! aged up too (senior in college it ties in w my hc’s ok ok) feel free to add ur thoughts too ya

-okay so

-ethan i feel would like somehow end up being a frat bro like

-he’d probably in a frat because he made a bet w chad and they both just ended up rushing

-i feel like he would be shocked everytime that he passes a rush step

-anyways he’s a frat bro now along w chad but he’s like more quiet

-but yk the brothers gotta give him shit and so they throw a massive party

-and pretty much just tell ethan to get his dick wet that day — he chickens out & is awkward around the girl that he’s trying to flirt with

-but somehow?? he ends up in bed with some other girl only after he makes sure she’s able to consent!

-i feel like he’s huge on consent and needs vocalization of boundaries

- he literally fumbles around has NO clue what he’s doing

- does learn how to give really good head though

-he’s definitely more of a giver than a receiver like he just doesn’t know how to vocalize his wants which is so funny

-anyways after making the girl cum twice, he finally finally gets the show on the road

-he’s not the best at pacing, but the girl is more than willing to tell him what he should do, and he responds well

-he gets embarrassed because he cums pretty quickly, more than he would prefer but it wasnt too awkward

-anyways that’s his first time

-after that it’s like well known within the school that he’s super good at giving head

- he’s not one to sleep w many people? he has had a few flings here & there and they all have talked about him and it’s kinda made him infamous lmao

- he definitely has had chad give him pointers— they have made out and it got weird between them so they were like nvm

- anyways he’s got people lining up to fuck him (they’re real for that!) and something kinda ? flips his senior year

-probably just not wanting to miss out and not wanting to be the odd one out in the frat house

-he’s very shy and needy so people loved that about him but when they got into bed w him wheww

-he definitely has some kinks that could be too much for others

-choking kink for sure

-i feel like he’s a switch really depending on the person & how comfortable he is with them

-has a spit kink?? LOVESSSS getting messy hes sooo

-i feel like he would also definitely not tell many people unless yk it’s his s/o if he ever gets one but he secretly has a knife kink

-he doesn’t wanna hurt the person? but something about it just makes his dick twitch in his pants

-he totally doesn’t mind fucking in public, but semi-public

-like i feel like he’d hate being so out in the open but like??? a dressing room??? a club bathroom?? yeah he loves those

- likes being restrained & restraining— he’s not picky as to w what, but it’s not one of his top

-likes threesomes but only after setting boundaries and i have a feeling he’d only like them w a s/o and one of their friends whether it’s his friend or his s/o’s friend

-both a degrading kink and a praise kink

-will not say he has a praise kink (you can tell by his hand gripping your hair harder when you praise him)

-HAIR PULLING

- likes when you cry when he’s being particularly mean, he doesn’t become too mean but he sometimes shows it

- takes his sexual health so seriously he’s literally always getting tested (as he should!) he’s cautious

-but w that said once he finds a partner he literally loves fucking raw

-definitely for sure 100000% sure has a breeding kink

- ties it in w his marking kink like he just wants his partner to know they’re his

-he doesn’t really have a position that’s his fave as long as he’s enjoying it, he’s pretty open to try anything once if you like it

-will vocalize to you if he doesn’t like it

favorite types of sex:

-angry sex

-SLEEPY SEX (he LOVES WAKING U UP too)

-just soft sex

-he’s big on cockwarming too like he only prefers to do it with a partner, he’s definitely one of those people that sees it as a more intimate type thing

-cant control himself though and will fuck up into you

-anyways

-he’s not like huge? idk i feel like he’s a little bit longer than average but once he knows what you like he makes the most of it

-he definitely wants to make a video with you like i can sense it

-he’s huge into foreplay he just wants to make sure that you’re both on the same page ):

-he’s a massive tease and knows it, he licks his lips a lot subconsciously and has learned how to do it around people

-grrr he’s so <333333

-anyways

-oh before i go he has a sex playlist that he had chad help him with and it had like a rlly nice vibe

-but he has queued one song that was totally not in the mood ( it was the campfire song from spongebob he was mortified afterwards) (his brothers put that in the queue from their phone LMAOOOOOO)

-okay now i’m done

[callsign-mongoose]

Old Fashioned Phone Numbers

Pairing: Jake Sersin x Reader (No Description or use of Y/N)

Warning: +18 MDNI, Mostly fluff, Lying? If you can call it that, Enuendos, Cowboy Jake, Let me know if I missed anything!

Word count: ~1.8k

a/n: This is my first official posted fanfic! Yayyyy! I'm so excited! I hope to be posting more in the future. Feel free to message me on my profile about ideas or characters you'd love to see. I love to write and am trying my best to branch out.

Prompt:

"Your Pretty I'll give you that." "How Gracious."

This was based on a writing prompt I found, by @creativepromptsforwriting

Summary: Bradley got fed up with Jakes cockiness and made a bet, that he couldn't get your phone number. Your just Natashas friend, but in order to help out a friend's friend with the bet, you play hard to get.

Maybe it was your track record recently of crashing and burning with dates, or just because she had asked, but Natasha had managed to get you to come with her to the bar. It wasn’t your scene but she made it sound like something interesting was going to go down with her friend group so you decided to go anyway.  

Standing by the doorway you scanned around until your eyes landed on Natasha standing by the piano. Walking over you placed a hand on her shoulder, “Hey, sorry I’m late, traffic.” “No worries, glad you decided to come.” She tossed a glance at the man who sat at the piano who gave her a immediate nod before nodding his head away from the group. His fingers started to tickle the keys and Nat took the opportunity to drag you to the other side of the bar, hiding near the hallway to the bathroom. “We need you for something, a mission, kinda. So Rooster, my friend at the piano over there, made a bet with one of the guys in our squadron.” You already didn’t like the sound of this. “Natasha, why do I have the gut feeling that you are going to set me up for failure?” “No no no, it’s not you that we are setting up for failure, it’s him. Basically, Bagman was telling Coyote about the girl he bagged a couple nights ago, his ego is getting the best of him and he is under the impression he can get any girls number.” She paused and peaked around the corner scanning the crowd for a long moment to assure herself that jake wasn’t there yet. “That’s where you come in, Rooster made a bet with him that he couldn’t pick up any girl, and Hangman became so confident that he even said rooster could pick the girl. Do you get where I’m going with this?” It dawned on you, you were bait for this cocky fly boy to fail on. “That’s why you were so intent on me joining you guys tonight? Nat I’m not sure…” “Come on, rooster said he’d give you the $50 bucks that Hangman bet on it. He just wants to see him be put in his place. Plus you said it yourself, you need flirting practice.” She wasn’t wrong about that. You had no experience flirting what so ever, your past experience included literally handing a guy a note and then leaving the building entirely. This would give you a controlled environment to experiment, crash and burn safely without being rejected, because this guy really was trying to get your number. “Fine. I’ll do it, only if you promise to tell him after the money is exchanged. I don’t want to look like a total asshole. I like this bar and if I keep coming back I don’t want everyone to think I’m rude.”  

Natasha nodded eagerly before rummaging through her pocket, pulling out a tube of lipstick she pulled the lid off “Perfect, now sit still.” The ruby red lipstick sat on your lips as she stepped back. “Perfect. Alright come with me.”  Grabbing your arm Natasha dragged you back towards the bar, positioning you on the far end waving over the bartender. “Who’s this Nat? What can I get you two?” “Hey Penny, just one of my friends from town, we will take two beers please, just add them to my tab.” Two cold bottles clacking on the wooden surface you bring one of them to your lips. “Thanks Nat… Let’s get this party started.”  

Nat made eye contact with Bradley across the bar and gave him a nod which seemed to put the plan in motion. Walking over to Jake who was half bent over the pool table, “Bagman” “Yo” He stood up handing his stick to Javy as he walked towards Bradley. “You prepared for the bet?” “You know it, who’s the mark?” Bradleys eyes scanned the bar until his eyes landed on you and Natasha, “Her, the one next to Natasha”. Jake seemingly nodded and without another word started to cross the floor, his demeanor changed, no more cocky aviator on the prowl, he put on a sweet smile and cleared his throat. Jake had a tendency to rely on his Texan roots when it came to women. After all… who didn’t love a good old American cowboy. Nat glanced at Bradley and patted your shoulder “Kaki uniform, he’s coming this way. I’ll be over with Bradley, don’t give in, and break a leg.”  

You directed your eyes down to the condensation now starting to gather on the outside of the beer bottle, wiping it idly with your thumb. The tall figure slid up next to you and leaned against the bar signaling another beer from penny, “Well howdy t-“ “No.” Adamantly you jumped on the opportunity to turn him down rather fast, didn’t even let him get the first sentence out. He was handsome, it wasn’t exactly a secret either. Strong jawline, confident smile, broad shoulders, and his damn uniform hugged his biceps making them look like tree trunks even if he was just flexing. Jake took a half second to regroup tilting his head to the side looking to you with a smirk. “What’s the matter, sugar? All your exes come from Texas?” You couldn’t help but laugh. “How long has that one been waiting to come out.” Jake grinned seeing a final opening that he could grab a hold of. “It’s been at the top of my list, much like you are tonight.. I promise, I’m real old fashioned, love to take my time with things.” He was quick on his feet, something you could appreciate. After a moment you rolled your eyes, “You should probably find a better list then. For the record, in my experience, Texas is just full of Cows and Shit.”  

A game. Hangman loved a good game, his goal now was just to figure out what game you were playing. “Come on now Darlin’. Your gonna hurt my feelings.” His lips curled into a smirk on either side, his eyes dancing around your face. Perhaps it was the game of chase, or maybe just your responses, but he was finding himself wanting more than just your number. “Aww poor cowboy, how are you ever gonna recover from this.” You reached up and tussled his hair which he swatted your hand away from “Hey hey the hair is off limits… unless you wanna come back to my place and I can make sure you pull it all night screaming.” He gave you a playful wink, half trying to read your reaction to see if there was any interest. 

“Mmmm well go put your cowboy hat on someone else, your buckle ain’t that shiny.” He was drooling practically, leaning more against the bar now than his own feet. He didn’t trust them to hold him up. Penny walked over placing down the beer infront of Jake, “Is this guy bothering you sweetheart?” She asked looking at you before reaching for the bell rope, it was a tease but Jake took the hint putting his hands up in defeat. He much rather give Rooster 50 bucks than buy rounds for everyone in the bar. “I’m goin’ Penny, im goin’.” Taking one more half playful half longing glance at you he smiled and that’s when you spoke up,

“You are pretty, I’ll give you that.”

Honestly, you were hoping to draw his interest enough to talk to you another time. He gave you a tip of his imaginary hat.

“How gracious.” 

Bradley handed the $50 to you about 20 minuets later. “The look on his face was priceless, I swear he looked like a lost puppy.” He was laughing with a couple of the others, Jake had since been over in the corner with Coyote, playing darts and licking his wounds. You pressed your lips together in a thin line, “I think I’m gonna close out my tab and head home Nat, it was fun, thanks for inviting me.” “No problem, thanks for the assistance.” 

As you made your way towards the door you made eye contact with a pair of dull green eyes, not as vibrant as when they had met with yours just 30 minuets earlier. Giving him a small smile you nodded towards the door, a last ditch effort to see if you could right the wrongs Rooster had made. Walking out into the parking lot, you found a seat on the front steps. After about 5 minuets you wondered if he even wanted to talk to you again, pushing yourself up, you pulled out your keys. “I was wonder’ if you meant me or some other guy in there.” Jake made his way down the stairs of the bar for a moment lingering on the last step. “Do you make it a habit of contuinally turning people down then trying to lure them outside?” he asked watching your facial expressions, attempting to read you like a book. Producing the $50 from your pocket you held it out to him. “This is yours.” “What?” “Rooster told me about the bet. Said if he won I could have the $50 bucks.”  

Jakes face fell, caught in the act, played by his own game. “Oh… um, you can keep it. I don’t deserve it anyway, I still lost.” Well here goes nothing, you took a quick breath “No take it, you can buy me dinner with it on Friday.” Your breathing stilled for a long moment, hopefully he got your drift. Maybe you messed it up too much to recover from. Glancing you tried to gage how far your car was, wondering if you could make it there before he noticed. “I- dinner, Friday, this Friday.” He repeated slowly taking the $50. “That sounds like a good deal, how about the itialian restaurant down on 8th ave. They’ve got real good food and I heard their dessert is incredible… though I can think of another thing I’d arguably like more for dessert.” His wicked grin had reappeared on his face. “Slow down cowboy, it’s just dinner.” You sighed moving forward you placed a kiss to his cheek before turning to walk to your car.  

“Wait!” Jake followed behind you grabbing your hand to turn you back towards him. “I don’t have your number. How am I supposed to contact you?” A grin appeared on your lips. “I told the others I wouldn’t give you my number… I guess you’ll just gonna have to get creative, you said you were old fashioned right? Start there.” You winked turning on the ball of your foot to walk towards your car. This time jake didn’t stop you, just stood there dumbfounded holding the 50 dollar bill in his hand. No way he would be spending that bill on dinner, that was gonna be saved. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

a/n: Thank you so much to everyone who read it all the way through! Feel free to comment and like and repost! I love writing but as much as I know I do it for myself, I am (to quote a friend) "a parking ticket and need validation."

Additionally thank @sarahsmi13s and @callsignthirsty for helping me with cowboy Jake!!

[zapreportsblog]

If you want to add anything else, feel free /(^♡^)/🌻. I don't know if this is where I should ask for one but... Forgive me if it's not, it's the first time I ask 🙂😊, so forgive me. But anyway... Hello, first of all I really like your writing and works very much, because they are completely wonderful 😔🙌🏽. Well, I'm going to request a poly!volturi kings x fem!reader (I absolutely love it 😭🤗), the reader is Bella's adopted sister who went to visit her right after the fight against the volturi, she knew about her sister and the Cullens being vampires and decided to play a prank on them. A few weeks after their arrival, the volturi kings and the guard went to visit them to find out how Reneesme was living, when they arrived the reader was playing in the back of the Cullens' house with the little hybrid, who was laughing for her aunt playing tag with her. As soon as the volturi saw the reader, some Cullens were afraid and were kind of protecting her, but the reader's only reaction was to laugh and go towards the kings, more specifically Caius, and give him a quick kiss on the mouth . While the Cullens' only reaction was to be shocked. The reader is a witch who has a strong connection with nature, and is also a plus size woman. 🙃🌌🍃☀️🦋🌻.

❝the hybrids aunt❞

✭ pairing : poly volturi kings x reader

✭ fandom : twilight

✭ summary : (y/n) is the newest student at University of Oxford . She’s got the looks and brains to back her up and it doesn’t hurt that her body draws attention too, so as a bet the men of the infamous riot club see who can bed her first

✭ authors note : this was requested by @beatrizdostoddy :3 enjoy

✭ twilight masterlist 2

The moon hung low in the night sky, casting a silvery glow over the quiet town of Forks. The aftermath of the confrontation with the Volturi had left the Cullen family and their allies in a state of relief and exhaustion. Bella Cullen, now a vampire, had finally found the peace she had longed for, but there was one more surprise waiting for her.

As Bella and Edward stood on the porch of their secluded home, their daughter Renesmee played in the yard with her supernatural grace. They exchanged a loving glance, grateful for the tranquility that had settled over their lives.

Suddenly, a rustling in the trees caught their attention, and they both turned to see a figure emerging from the shadows. Bella's sharp vampire senses immediately recognized the scent, and her eyes widened with astonishment.

"(Y/N)?" Bella whispered, her voice filled with disbelief.

Stepping into the moonlight, (Y/N) smiled mischievously, her eyes twinkling with a secret. She was Bella's adopted sister, and they had shared a bond that transcended the supernatural secrets that surrounded them.

"You're back from the States?" Bella exclaimed, rushing forward to embrace her sister.

(Y/N) chuckled, returning the hug warmly. "Surprise! I couldn't stay away any longer. I had to see how my big sister was doing, especially after all that drama with the Volturi."

Bella's eyes glistened with tears of joy as she held her sister at arm's length, taking in the sight of her. "I've missed you so much, (Y/N)."

(Y/N) grinned, her mischief evident. "I've missed you too, sis. But I couldn't resist coming back and causing a little chaos."

Bella raised an eyebrow, curious. "Chaos?"

Before Bella could react, (Y/N) pulled out a small remote control and pressed a button. Suddenly, the lights in the Cullen home began to flicker wildly, and eerie music filled the air. The front door swung open and closed on its own, and Renesmee stared in amazement at the spectacle.

"What in the world?" Bella exclaimed, both amused and bewildered.

(Y/N) couldn't contain her laughter as she turned off the prank. "Just a little welcome-home surprise for you, Bella."

Edward joined them, his golden eyes gleaming with amusement. "You always did have a flair for the dramatic, (Y/N)."

Bella couldn't help but laugh, feeling lighter and happier than she had in a long time. "(Y/N), this is Edward, my husband."

Edward extended a hand, and (Y/N) shook it warmly. "Nice to finally meet you, Edward. Bella has told me so much about you."

Edward smiled, genuinely pleased. "Likewise."

As the three of them chatted and caught up on each other's lives, Renesmee approached shyly, curiosity sparking in her eyes.

Bella knelt down and gently introduced her daughter, "Renesmee, sweetheart, this is your aunt, (Y/N)."

(Y/N) and Renesmee locked eyes, and there was an instant connection, a recognition of family bonds that transcended words. In that moment, a deep and unspoken understanding passed between them, a silent promise of love and protection.

"(Y/N)," Renesmee said with a shy smile, "I'm so happy to meet you."

Tears welled up in (Y/N)'s eyes as she embraced her niece, feeling the warmth of family and the promise of a new chapter in their lives. The Cullen family had faced countless challenges, but with (Y/N)'s return, they were reminded that love and laughter could always light their way in the darkness.

And so, under the silvery moonlight, the Cullen family welcomed (Y/N) back into their supernatural world, ready to embrace the adventures and joys that awaited them together.

It had been a month since (Y/N) had returned to the Cullen family, and the days had been filled with laughter and bonding. She had settled into the Cullen household comfortably, grateful for the warmth and love that surrounded her. While her new house was being built in town, she cherished this time with Bella, Renesmee, and the rest of the vampire clan.

On a crisp, sunny day, the Cullen family gathered in their spacious backyard. Bella and (Y/N) had organized a game of tag for Renesmee, who darted through the trees with unnatural speed, her laughter ringing through the air. It was a perfect day filled with the joy of family.

Unbeknownst to (Y/N) and Renesmee, Alice suddenly froze, her golden eyes distant as she received a vision. The others noticed her abrupt change in demeanor, and her words came out in a hurried whisper, "The Volturi. They're coming."

Edward's eyes widened in alarm, and he swiftly relayed the message to the rest of the family telepathically. Panic spread like wildfire among the Cullens, their thoughts racing with the implications of the Volturi's arrival.

Except for (Y/N) and Renesmee, who continued their playful game of tag.

Carlisle, always the calm and collected leader of the family, stepped forward, attempting to reassure the others. "Stay calm, everyone. Remember, they may be coming to check on Renesmee's growth. Let's not jump to conclusions."

Esme nodded in agreement, though her eyes betrayed her concern. "You're right, Carlisle. We should be prepared, but not aggressive."

The Cullens tried to carry on with their activities as normally as possible, casting occasional worried glances in the direction of the approaching danger. Their protective instincts were on high alert, ready to shield Renesmee and (Y/N) from any potential harm.

Alice, who had been watching the Volturi's movements carefully, suddenly spoke up. "They seem to be approaching slowly, Carlisle, like they're not in a hurry to confront us."

Carlisle nodded, his brow furrowed. "That's unusual. Let's continue to monitor the situation closely, but we won't escalate things unless necessary."

As the Volturi drew nearer, Alice continued to provide updates, and tension hung in the air like an oppressive cloud. The Cullens' protective instincts were impossible to ignore, and they subtly positioned themselves between Renesmee and the approaching danger.

(Y/N) and Renesmee, unaware of the impending threat, continued their game, giggling as they tagged each other beneath the dappled sunlight. The innocence of their laughter stood in stark contrast to the uncertainty that loomed.

The Cullens watched, ready to defend their family, their gazes never wavering from the approaching Volturi. They couldn't help but feel a sense of unease and the overwhelming need to protect the precious bonds they had formed with (Y/N) and Renesmee.

As the Volturi came into view, the atmosphere grew heavy with anticipation, and the Cullens braced themselves for whatever awaited them, determined to safeguard their loved ones at all costs.

The Cullens stood in their backyard, tension hanging in the air as the Volturi kings and their guards approached. Aro, Caius, and Marcus, the ancient leaders of the vampire world, wore their customary regal attire. The Volturi guards, a formidable force of vampires with unique abilities, fanned out behind them.

Aro's crimson eyes scanned the scene, and his polite smile remained firmly in place. "Isabella, dear, I take it you are in good health?”

Bella's eyes met Aro's, her expression calm. "Certainly, Alice told me you came to check on my daughter. She’s currently playing with my sister. Follow me."

With Aro and the other Volturi kings in tow, Bella led them to the back of the house, where the laughter of her daughter and sister filled the air. (Y/N) and Renesmee were engrossed in their game of tag, their supernatural speed allowing them to dart gracefully among the trees.

"I didn't know you had a sibling, Isabella," Aro commented, his curiosity piqued.

Bella gave Aro a small, mysterious smile as they approached the playing pair. "I've had many surprises, Aro."

As (Y/N) suddenly sensed the multiple eyes upon her, she abruptly halted, her senses tingling. She turned, meeting the gazes of the Volturi, who stood a few feet away. Her sister's protective stance did not go unnoticed.

(Y/N) and Renesmee slowly made their way toward the Cullen family, and Bella stepped in front of them protectively. Aro observed the child with interest, his eyes appraising Renesmee.

"She appears to be in good health," Aro remarked.

Then, Aro's gaze shifted to (Y/N), his eyes narrowing with curiosity. Bella couldn't suppress a low growl, warning the Volturi leader to keep his distance.

However, (Y/N) bypassed Bella's protective stance with a mischievous smile. She reached up and planted a kiss on Caius's lips, surprising everyone, especially Aro.

"When did this come about, brother?" Aro asked Caius, his eyebrow raised in amusement.

Caius had his arms wrapped securely around (Y/N), a rare smile gracing his lips. "It's been going on for a few months now. While I was overseas on a mission, I met (Y/N), and we hit it off. I've been meaning to introduce her to you for a while."

(Y/N) turned to Bella, her eyes expressing gratitude for her protective instincts, but she also exuded a quiet confidence. Her eyes flashed a deep, mesmerizing purple, and Bella gasped in surprise.

"What are you?" Bella asked, her voice barely a whisper.

(Y/N) chuckled softly, her aura radiating power. "I'm a witch."

The revelation sent shockwaves through the Cullen family. Witches, with their own unique supernatural abilities, were an enigmatic addition to their world.

Aro's interest was piqued, and he regarded (Y/N) with renewed fascination. "A witch, you say? How intriguing. It seems our visit has brought forth quite the surprises."

(Y/N) remained at Caius's side, her presence an enigmatic blend of magic and the supernatural. As the Cullens and the Volturi watched with wary eyes, they couldn't help but wonder what other secrets this unexpected alliance might reveal in the days to come.

[rwrbmovie]

RE: intimacy & the intimate scenes

Quotes from interviews on #RWRBMovie about the intimate scenes and the intimacy between Alex and Henry

This post will be updated as content is released

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Last updated: August 9

From Glamour

Red, White & Royal Blue, the book, is—I'm not sure how to put this any other way—famously horny. For the movie adaptation, intimacy coordinator Robbie Taylor Hunt was enlisted to ensure that physical intimacy between Henry and Alex was told in the best and safest way possible. “He was incredible,” Zakhar Perez says of working with Taylor Hunt. “In London there are these brand of mints called Smints, and we called him the Smint Lord because we would always come up to him and ask for a mint or Listerine strip. I didn't want my breath to be offensive to Nick as soon as we get on set and have to be intimate with each other…” He continues, "A great thing about having rehearsals is that we'd have an hour a day set aside to be with Robbie. It was just like a dance. I grew up in theatre, and Nick's done musicals. We're both very musical people. So Robbie found it easiest to talk to us in musical terms—there's a musicality to intimacy. There'd be lots of counting. Like, ‘1, 2, 3, 4, grab. 2, 3, 4, squeeze.’ That's what was going through my mind as we did it, to get it in your body. Once your body remembers it, you can let it go. The muscle memory is so strong. Then it's just about getting your mind in the game.” Adds Galitzine, “It's a very vulnerable and trusting space. Taylor and I had to rely on each other because we really wanted to tell that story honestly and feel that we weren't hindered by any of our own boundaries that we were setting up. It becomes a sort of wonderful choreography that all serves to facilitate these two young men who fell in love with each other. Robbie was really helpful in educating me in the physical language of the character.”

From GQ

As our tea gets cold and our time draws to a close, we quickly touch on what it was like to film Red, White & Royal Blue’s more intimate scenes. To fight the awkwardness of being surrounded by the film crew, Zakhar Perez and Galitzine would whisper jokes and try to make the other one crack up. “There’s a playful teasing that never veered into anything nasty, which was a lovely dynamic to be a part of,” says Robbie Taylor Hunt, the film’s intimacy coordinator. “But also they just treated each other like colleagues and co-creatives in a really nice, collaborative way.” “There’s so much choreography to sex…ual scenes,” Zakhar Perez says, laughing, recounting the sheer amount of time and energy (and the occasional blow-up mattress) that went into rehearsals. “It’s a crazy thing to be intimate in that way with your friend,” says Galitzine. “And we want people to fall in love with these characters, because their love has to be real.” “Our guards were down during the rehearsals,” Zakhar Perez adds. But as soon as someone would yell “Cut”? “One of us would say something stupid, like, Get off me!” 

From People

When Red, White & Royal Blue got labeled with an R rating from the Motion Picture Association, López admits he was surprised by the stamp. The MPA cited "some sexual content, partial nudity and language" in its rating. "I think I was a little surprised at the R rating just because, while I never was encouraged to limit what we were showing or limit what I was depicting, the scene is what I intended to show. It plays exactly how I wanted it to play," López says of a sex scene between the two leads. The Tony winner explains that he had free rein to include whatever he felt necessary onscreen while depicting the love story: "It's the movie I set out to make." He adds, "I essentially decided to hedge my bets, in that I wouldn't step a toe over the line of PG-13 into R when it came to language, when it came to— there's no violence in the story, of course. But I would just do what I felt was right for the story when it came to the sexuality of the film and let the chips fall where they may."

From Out Smart Magazine

The director explains that giving the film’s sex scenes the royal treatment was an important factor for him. “One of the things in the novel that I knew needed to be in the film was the fundamental truth that these two people have really good sex with each other, they are very attracted to each other, and they find ways of expressing it physically. I inherently knew that there were a multitude of ways that we were going to express intimacy in this movie and that we were tracking the progression of their closeness. They sort of meet-cute and not only go from being enemies to lovers, but one of them is not fully aware of the extent to which he’s into guys before they meet. I thought a lot about the intimacy themes in the movie as a way of bringing them incrementally closer and closer together. “By the time we got to the real lovemaking scene in the movie, I knew that I wanted to create something that was beautiful, loving, and tender. It’s not about maximizing an opportunity to get as much sex in the movie as possible. It’s about maximizing what I’ve got in order to tell the story effectively and honestly, in a way that the people for whom the movie is being made understand that it is being made for them.”

From Hindustan Times

Red White And Royal Blue also features a sex scene that was so empowering in terms of how it chooses to focus not on the body but on the gradual understanding between what two people in love want from each other. Did you always have a specific direction in how you wanted the scene to be shot? My answer to your question is your question! That is precisely how I wanted to shoot it. It is undeniable that these are two beautiful men but what was more important to me was this be a scene of true intimacy between these two characters. I always knew I wanted to shoot those scenes primarily on their faces. I knew that what we would read in their eyes and their faces was much more powerful a storytelling tool than what I could have shown in a wider shot using their bodies, and it allowed them to thoroughly act that scene rather than simply perform that scene. I love that question because the way you phrased that question is exactly the way we talked about the scene- as we planned it with my intimacy coordinator, and as Taylor, Nick and I rehearsed it. Yeah, so you could just your question and turn it into my answer, because that's precisely it.

From TV & Satellite Week

The two leads were equally keen to make their characters’ relationship evolve believably. ‘Nick and I felt a responsibility to bring to life these sexual moments that are in the book in a real, grounded way,’ says Zakhar Perez. ‘The intimate scenes were choreographed and specific when it came to whether it was a moment of passion, or a tender experience. In a relationship you go through different stages, and we got to explore those throughout the film.’

From PinkNews

“I don’t think you can tell the story of Alex and Henry without talking about their very enjoyable sex life,” he says. However, the sex isn't just thrown in for the sake of it, each has a purpose and nuance. López likes to think of the scenes as songs in a musical. "It needs to progress the story, it needs to progress your understanding of the character. If it doesn't, then it doesn't belong," he explains. The two lead stars worked with an intimacy co-ordinator to ensure the scenes were done carefully and safely, but were also realistic. “We need to actually believe that Alex and Henry have really great, connected sex,” López says. “That, as a queer man, was really important to me to convey.”

From Observer

Hollywood has a tendency to shy away from gay sex onscreen. But this movie goes all in. Did you get any pushback about that?  ML: When I was pitching myself for the job, this was part of my pitch. Basically, “If you hire me, you’re getting this.” I let it be known from the get-go that this was going to be in the film. And, of course, there were negotiations throughout the process of what exactly it would be. But I was adamant from the start that this film honor what’s in the book, which is that these two characters have a very healthy sex life. They are very, very into each other, they have great sex, and a lot of it. So that was important to me.  It was really important to me as well in a mainstream love story. We talked about this as a rom-com and there other times we talked about it as a love story. As a love story, it was really important to me that the audience understand that these two young men are deeply connected—emotionally, intellectually and physically. Their physical connection is a huge part of what binds them. It would have been absolutely the decision I would make if it was a man and a woman. So I was going apply the same storytelling and requirements on my queer film that I think anybody would on a on a heterosexual film. I will say Amazon didn’t give me a hard time on these scenes. I got support. I got notes, of course. But that’s what happens when you don’t have final cut. There was a lot of support for this story being told as we all knew it needed to be told.

From MetroSource

Our sex is beautiful. The way we have sex is beautiful. Our intimacy is beautiful. Consensual sex between two humans is a beautiful thing, and it’s one of the wonderful things about being alive. The book is very steamy, very sexual, and I really love that about the book. I knew that I’d be committing heresy if I didn’t bring that into the film. A sex scene in a movie is like a song in a musical. It really does need to either charm you or teach you something about the characters and move the plot along. The other thing, too, is that you’re asking two performers to do something that is really vulnerable, and you don’t ever want to ask too much of them, and you don’t ever want to make anybody feel uncomfortable or forced into doing something. We were conscientious about how we approached each one of these scenes. I spent a lot of time with my intimacy coordinator mapping them out. We really paid particular attention to what story are we telling with each and every one of these intimacy scenes so that we could turn around and speak to Taylor and Nick and explain to them exactly why we were asking them to do what we were asking them to do. Beyond just sort of the mechanics of the filmmaking, to tell the story of Alex and Henry and not include the fact that they are very passionately, physically attracted to one another, is to not tell the full story of Alex and Henry.

From Windy City Times

Robbie Taylor Hunt was the intimacy coordinator on the film. How important was that for this film? ML: It was essential. I think that if someone doesn't like working with intimacy coordinators, then they are missing the point. Robbie was an important partner in creating this. In essence, it was a way of protecting the actors and making them not just feel, but be, safe. It is no different than working with my director of photography or my costume designer. We use stunt coordinators with stunts, so in the same way, I wanted to use an intimacy coordinator. Robbie helped me articulate what I wanted to show and execute it. He was invaluable to me.

[rallamajoop]

I recently found your blog while working on some things for a Heisenberg fic, and I love it! It made me think more about this HC that I have about Urias and Heisenberg. Since you have a lot of posts that talk about the game files and things like that, I wanted to ask your informed opinion on this if that's alright?

My HC is that Urias is actually Heisenberg's father--not just due to the fact that the concept art and character models look too similar to be a coincidence (in my opinion; I'd also like to add that I've never found anything that confirms or denies (or even refrences) this anywhere online, so if I'm missing something, feel free to let me know!).

I always imagined Heisenberg being close to his father, who likely was the one to teach him everything he knows in terms of engineering (I almost wonder if his name could be Karl Heisenberg Jr., his father being closer in reference to the physicist he's based on than Heisenberg himself. I hope that made sense-).

I imagine Miranda took his father first, whose experimentation results were close to what she was looking for, but no cigar (pun intended), so her next best bet was to hop down the family tree to his son--which yielded much more promising results--giving us the Heisenberg we know and love.

This would definitely explain why Heisenberg is much closer to the lycans than any other character, and why he's able to wrangle them so easily, because he's related to one--even if the consciousness of that relationship is long gone.

I'm so sorry if I came off as weird or anything, your blog just really kind of livened-up my HC and my fic ideas in general, and honestly makes me feelnreally confident about it and wanted to know your thoughts. Thank you! :)

Honestly, my initial kneejerk reaction to this one was “Jeebus, doesn’t the guy have enough dads already?” But on a second thought, heck, maybe there’s actually something to this idea…

The info we get on the possible Heisenberg family from the notes from the concept art is all over the place, and concepts for Heisenberg’s father are the worst offenders. Sturm was supposed to be his real father, Heisenberg’s monster form was supposed to be his father’s, the village leader was supposed to be his father... I assume these were different ideas from different phases (or one was a step-dad?) but sheesh, how many dads does one guy need?

Meanwhile, the one thing we do learn about Urias (apart from the fact he seems to part of some extended Urias family) is that he was supposed to be the village’s leader at some point… but that’s where this whole thing might just get interesting. Because if Heisenberg’s father was meant to be the village leader, and Urias was also supposed to be the village leader… could there have been a point in development where both were true at once, and Heisenberg’s father was going to be Urias? (I mean, as well as the village leader, presumably.)

I mean, they’re both beard-y, grey-haired dudes with a love for giant hammers and long coats. It’s not for nothing that so many fans came out of the early previews for this game assuming Urias was just Heisenberg in lycan form. Those concept pics of Heisenberg's father in a trenchcoat with a shock of grey hair aren't a million miles from Urias' design either.

There's some plausibility to the idea of Miranda experimenting on members of the same family too, especially if they've got cause to claim descent from one of the four founders. I speculated as much myself about what might have happened to the rest of the Beneviento family in my post on her background. Heisenberg specifically strikes me as more the sort of guy who probably wasn't born in the village, given he names his monsters in German, mocks the very idea of his lordship (more on that here), and is clearly the least brainwashed member of the family. But that's interpretation ‒ there's nothing truly definitive either way.

You'd have a harder time squaring 'an engineer who taught Karl all he knew' with Urias' role as the village leader, though ‒ I have trouble picturing anywhere as superstitious, isolated and backward as the village being led by someone with that much 'outsider' knowledge to pass onto his son. RE has certainly tried to sell us on wilder things, but it doesn't really click for me.

As for Heisenberg's affinity for lycans, that's more debatable. He certainly seems to be commanding them at the start of the game (just to really cement all those lycan!Heisenberg theories!) but past that point, any lycan associations dry up very quickly. There are no lycans to be found anywhere in the factory ‒ just soldats, and moroi wearing mind-control visors (called ‘haulers’, but they’re obviously just new versions of the creatures you meet in Donna’s domain). Why bother putting visors on skinny zombie creatures if he could command lycans without them? Doesn’t really seem like Heisenberg’s ability to control lycans goes far beyond ‘stop’ and ‘go’.

True, Heisenberg does leave his Rose-flask in a stronghold full of lycans. But he also sends Ethan to that stronghold, where he has to fight and kill Urias himself. The idea that Heisenberg was ever close to his lycan-dad is going to be hard to square with how casually he sends someone to kill Urias, or how pleased he seems that Ethan succeeded. In Heisenberg’s mind, lycans are nothing so much as they’re expendable – Urias included.

So as far as the finished game goes, I think it’s probably reaching to suggest that Urias (of the extended Urias clan) is related to Heisenberg, who so casually throws him in Ethan’s way as a test. But the possibility that maybe Urias was going to be a Heisenberg at some point in development is a better explanation for the fact the Urias-clan are so big into hammers and trenchcoats than any other explanation I’ve heard yet. It’s certainly no crazier than so many other headcanons I’ve heard around this game.

But speaking of the Urias-clan, let's cover the other Uriasi you can find around the game. Urias Strajer (the bigger version of Urias with the mace that Chris fights near the megamycete) is supposedly Urias' older brother ‒ something the concept art wants you to know so badly it's mentioned on pictures of both of them. So if you still want one of them to be Heisenberg's father, the other is presumably his uncle. Heck, maybe Strajer could be Heisenberg's father, and Urias could be the uncle he never liked very much (despite his excellent taste in hammers), if you want to explain Heisenberg's lacking reaction to Urias' death. Some of the game files for Strajer are labeled 'village elder', which also points some kind of connection. Chock up some more evidence of Miranda experimenting on members of the same family too!

The two axe-wielding optional bosses you can fight in the sawmill and over Claudia's grave are apparently Uriases too ‒ Urias Drac, specifically, though you'd only know that from RE.net, where you can see stats for how many of them you've killed in Mercenaries mode. Personally, I only realised they were supposed to be lycans at all because you can one-shot them with the magnum if you unlock the 'special customisation' that 'does extra damage against lycans' ("extra" apparently means "10x" in special-customisation land). But presumably they're based on the same unused design from the concept art of this one 'lycan' out walking his varcolacs too.

Are these Uriasi too part of the greater Urias-family? Who knows ‒ that one's up to you. Their bodies, with that swollen weak point on the back, do match the model for Urias Strajer (shown below). In fact, I'm pretty sure all the Uriases use the same base model, just with different clothes, armour and hair. So there's some shared DNA in there somewhere (even if only in the sense that recycling a good model saves so many hours of development time).

The name 'Urias' is apparently a term for giant in Romanian, which checks out. Strajer, meanwhile, apparently translates as 'guardian' or 'sentinel', which tracks with the fact Strajer's job is to guard the megamycete. 'Drac', meanwhile, seems to be the same word you might know from Dracul (dragon or devil) or Dracula (son of the above) ‒ though I am also amused that google translate tried to tell me 'urias drac' means 'huge fuck'. 'Giant demon' may be more on the money for that one. Either way, all this etymology does strongly suggest that 'Urias' is more a description than an actual family name. Which is somewhat reassuring, because nothing I've read about Romania suggests they put surnames first.

Probably just to annoy me, personally (because I absolutely will overthink this shit now you've got me started), one of the models used for regular-vanilla-Urias is randomly called 'Gregorio', a name that shows up nowhere else in the game. There is a Grigori ‒ he's that old guy who gave Ethan his first handgun before the lycans dragged him away.

I really do not think we're supposed to take it that Urias is a lycanised Grigori, though ‒ that's rather too big a transformation in not nearly enough time. Otherwise, 'Gregorio' is neither Romanian or German (like both 'Karl' and 'Heisenberg' are) ‒ it's Italian or Spanish, which is just confusing. One of the four founders (more on them here) did have a vaguely similar name ‒ Guglielmo ‒ but I don't think that's really close enough to mean much either. 'Gregorio' could be the name of a developer who worked on the file once, for all I know.

So where does that leave us? Honestly, nowhere very exciting. None of the evidence of this greater Urias family was actually in the playable game (notes on concept art and names you have to find on an unrelated website are very tenuous canon at best). Still, Urias and Urias Strajer are similar enough that it's reasonable to assume they must have some sort of relationship. So take all this as you will (or not at all).

[whoreforhorror]

Hi! I don't know if you're taking requests currently, but If you are, can you please write Headcanons for slashers with a GN S/O who has anxiety and really likes physical affection? (With Rusty Nail and Bo Sinclair feel free to add if you want to :)

I love your work and hope you're doing well,

PhantomCat

Hello! Sorry this took a while to come out. It’s a bit shorter than others I’ve written as well but I hope you still like it! I’m also super happy you asked for Rusty as well! My boy needs more love!

S/O with anxiety that likes physical affection

Bo Sinclair:

Both Bo and Ambrose have a hit-or-miss effect on your anxiety. I’m on hand, living in Ambrose means you don’t have to deal with a lot of the stressors you do in regular day-to-day life. On the other hand, the anxiety that comes with knowing what happens to visitors, along with the pressure of knowing the three brothers HAVE to like you because there is literally nobody else around is just about enough to negate any relief from any anxiety that you might get.

Then there’s also you worrying about Bo when he’s out dealing with ‘visitors’. You originally hadn’t been worried about him, but that was before he came home one night with an arrow through his shoulder. No, you couldn’t stop worrying about whether or not he was alright and how much trouble the visitors may or may not be. Bo tried to help by coming home at the same time every night (something he had started doing but made no mention of, so he wouldn’t look “soft”) but he couldn’t always adhere to that.

When he does finally come home, it’s always your first order of business to help him patch up his wounds, lest he gets an infection. Then, as soon as he’s held together, it’s off to either the couch or bed to cuddle. It helps calm your anxieties as well as his. You both worried you might come home only to never see the other again (for different reasons but still) and holding each other close as a reminder that they’re still with you is something invaluable in y’all’s relationship.

Bo pretends like he doesn’t also like physical affection but he can only hide it for so long and you can’t play the fool much longer than that. He also likes to take advantage of your love of physical affection by giving or taking it away based on your behavior. More simply, Bo is Pavloving you with physical affection to act more often in a way that he likes. Manipulative? Maybe. Fully intentional? Probably not. Does it work? You bet your ass it does.

He’ll rub your head or hold you by your waist when you do something he particularly enjoys or he’ll keep to himself as a sort of silent reprimand. He really enjoys resting his hand on your head though. He finds it comforting, you find it very comforting. It’s a win-win.

Rusty Nail:

Do. Not. Tell. Him. You. Like. Physical. Affection. This man will tease you day in and day out about it, giving you a taste of what you want before pulling away completely.​​​​ This man loves to toy with you more than just about anything else in the world.

When you ride with him, sometimes you’ll get tired of sitting in the seat and move to the floor so you could stretch out a bit. He’ll rest his hand on your head, petting your hair or your cheek and only moving to shift gears. You just look so beautiful sitting down there.

If you’ve been extra good, he might have you sit in his lap while parked at rest stops. He loves to see your reactions when he pulls you onto himself and it gives him the biggest ego boost.

He found out about your anxiety in one of two ways. 

The first scenario is when he had to go on a trip without you and you had worried yourself sick while he was gone. When he came home after a week, any onlooker would have thought he’d been declared missing for three years. 

The second scenario comes in after the two of you had a little argument while on the road. It was nothing major, just the byproduct of two people being in the same small space for days. Still, while night hit and the two of you set up camp to sleep, he was caught off guard by you asking him if he was going to desert you in the motel or ‘dispose of you’. You’d gotten so worked up about it that you’d lost sight of how minor the argument was, and he could nearly hear you hyperventilating.

In either scenario, his solution is to cuddle until you fall asleep. He’ll hold you close and reassure you that he’s ok, you’re ok, he’s not going to leave you, and he couldn’t hate you even if he tried. 

If you ever encounter someone who purposefully causes your anxiety to flare up, rest assured their skull will be quickly meeting the front end of his truck and they’ll merge into the road. Or, in simpler terms, he’s going to torment them and then run them over. You can join in if you want!

[lady-pug]

All Night Long

Summary: Eddie pays you a visit at night, and he has some news for you, something regarding a bet. Fluffiness ensues (and maybe a little bit more).

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader

Word count: 1,9k

Warnings: making out, mentions for sex, implied sexual content, a little bit of spiciness (some over-the-clothes action), so just in case I'm rating this as mature (so you know the drill, minors DNI please)

Notes: Oof, I was aiming for fluff, but when I went to add the sugar I accidentally added too much spice instead. Oh, well. This one is set more or less at the same time as the previous one. Eddie deserves all the good things in the world and whoever disagrees is just wrong. Again, if you spot any mistakes, please feel free to warn me and I'll correct it right away, and feedback is always welcome and appreciated. I truly hope you enjoy this.

Reader is female, but no physical descriptions provided (other than being gorgeous, that is!)

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A knock on your window startled you out of the world your head had currently found refuge in. Fumbling for a bookmark (because you seriously thought dog-earing should be considered a federal crime), you heard a second, softer thump on the glass.

“Alright, alright, Munson, I’m coming.”

Hopping out of your bed and moving closer to the window, you steeled your heart for what you were about to see, having been spooked one too many times to think he would just be waiting normally for you. Sure enough, his face was squished right against the glass, tongue out, piggy nose and cross-eyed.

“Don’t you ever get tired of almost giving me a heart attack everytime?” you said after opening the window “And why are you coming through the window?”

“Can’t let your folks find out you’re mingling with such bad influences now, can we?” he said, folding his arms on the windowsill and laying his chin on them, all the while balancing himself on a tree branch.

“Eddie,” you sighed, lips threatening to curve up into a soft smile “you know my parents adore you.”

“How can you be so certain? For all I know they may be plotting against me for corrupting their precious daughter.” he hissed, trying to appear intimidating (but only managing to sound incredibly cute).

“They invite you and your uncle over for every single holiday. And they never forget to buy you that candy you like for Halloween.” 

“Even after everything?”

You nodded, reaching over to push his bangs away from his eyes. Eyes that looked somewhat… haunted.

“Even after everything.”

He shrugged, as if all you said only now dawned on him.

“That’s true.” he paused, looking between you and the open window “Sooo, are you gonna let me in? I feel like there are already splinters in my ass from this damn branch!”

“You’re wearing jeans!” you giggled, amused about his antics, before stepping back “Come on in.”

He braced his hands on the windowsill and used his legs to push himself away from the tree and into your room. As he stepped one foot on the floor and went to stand up, his other one got caught in the windowsill, making him lose his balance. You tried moving closer to catch him, but suddenly your back was against the ground, him having gracelessly tumbled over you, one of his hands shooting out to hold the back of your head so it wouldn’t bang against the floor.

“Way to make an entrance, Munson.”

“Yeah, yeah, sweetheart. The lunch ladies at the cafeteria would say the same.” he said as he lifted himself on his forearms, his face hovering just a few inches from yours “Hi.”

“Hi.” you cooed back.

He smiled and dipped his head down, aiming for a kiss, but you turned your head away at the last second, making him miss. Instead, his lips came in contact with the corner of your mouth.

“You are not a bad influence, Eddie. You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself.” you smiled softly up at him, before your sweet grin turned into a mischievous smirk “If anything, it is your uncle that should be worried. I’m the one dating a high schooler after all.”

“Oh, hardy har har.” he rolled his eyes “I told you, this is my year, I’m pretty sure I’m off to graduation real soon.”

“I know, I believe you.” and you truly did.

He only smiled down at you and tried kissing you again and this time you let him. His surprisingly soft lips met your own in a sweet, almost chaste kiss, before he was pulling away and nudging your nose with his.

“How was your day?” he asked softly, before suddenly he was jumping off you and onto his feet “Oh! You must be pretty uncomfortable down there. Here, let’s move this to somewhere more comfortable.” 

He extended a hand in order to pull you up (and almost ripped your shoulder out of its socket while doing so) and led you to your bed. He paused, examining your sheets before picking up the book you had been reading.

“One Hundred Years of Solitude.” he read out loud “Is it any good?”

“It is.” you smiled softly as he read the first page “You should give it a try sometime, I think you’ll like it.”

“Can I borrow it after you’re finished? I promise to care for it like it’s my first born.” he raised his eyebrows, clearly finding himself hilarious.

“Sure. You’re one of the few people I trust with my books and you know that.”

He hummed in satisfaction before carefully placing the paperback on your nightstand. With your sheets now cleared, he sat down on your bed, back propped against the headboard, and pulled you down to straddle his hips.

“Now where was I? Right,” Eddie placed a soft, quick peck on your lips “how was your day?”

“It was good.” you answered with a peck of your own, which elicited a smile from him “Mateo was complaining about Mr. Fuzzytail again.”

“That stray cat he found a few years ago?”

“Yeah, the very same. Apparently the little thing is a lot older than he originally thought, has been getting sick a lot. He said he was taking him to the vet as soon as possible to figure out what’s wrong.”

“Hmm.” he pressed his lips to your cheek “Not to be rude to Mr. Fuzzytail or anything, but why are we talking about the feline troubles of one of your coworkers? One, might I add, that doesn’t even work the same shift as you do?”

“He might have mentioned wanting to swap shifts?” you phrased it like a question, but knew by the way Eddie’s head perked up that it had spiked his interest “Depending on what the vet says? He mentioned something about not working at the same time as his girlfriend so one of them is always at home with the old furball.”

“And…?”

“And, if I can convince him to swap shifts with me, that way I can start coming to your campaigns.” you averted your eyes, slightly embarrassed, lowering your voice to an almost whisper before adding “I know how much it means to you.”

After a beat of silence you glanced back at him only to notice him staring at you, eyes unreadable. You swallowed thickly, afraid you might have crossed a line, when he quickly lunged at you, large hands holding you up by the small of your back, and his lips enveloped your own in a feverish, passionate kiss. Your teeth clashed together as he put more force into it, nipping at your bottom lip, pulling it between his teeth as he pulled away.

“You’re perfect, you know that, sweetheart?” he said breathlessly, an almost dreamy expression crossing his features while his hands moved to hold you by your waist.

“Hmmm” you kissed him again, much softer this time, a cheeky grin forming on your lips “I did not know that.”

“Then I’ve not been doing my job properly.” he kissed you once, twice, three times softly before smiling mischievously at you “What a neglectful boyfriend I have been.”

You nodded your head as his feather light kisses shifted onto your cheek, passing your jaw and down the column of your throat. One of your hands tangled on his curls, your nails running over his scalp, which prompted a small whimper from him.

“Let me make it up to you?” he asked, nipping against the skin of your neck.

While you hated to cut his (and your own) fun short, you wanted to hear more of his voice before you took it any further. Cupping his jaw with one hand, the other one never leaving his soft, messy locks, you guided his lips to meet your own once more.

“First, tell me:” you said between kisses “how was your day?”

His entire body froze.

“Oh!” his head shot up, almost bonking against your own, which made him giggle in turn (yes, you prided yourself in being the only person to ever hear Eddie ‘The Freak’ Munson giggle) “I almost forgot. The craziest thing happened today!”

You huffed, only mildly annoyed at having to stop kissing his inviting lips, but you were the one who asked him to talk about his day after all.

“What happened?”

“The boys from Hellfire made a bet.”

You stared at him, puzzled.

“A bet?”

“A bet. And that’s not even the worst part. They made a bet about me.” he tilted his head from one side to another “Well, in fact it was about us.”

“What?” you squealed quizzically “What about us?”

“They didn’t seem to believe I have a girlfriend.” he squeezed your hips playfully “Much less a gorgeous one.”

“What? Come on, that’s ridiculous!”

“It’s the truth.”

“Who came up with that ridiculously stupid idea?!” you shook your head “No, wait, let me guess: Harrington?”

“Worse.” he smirked “It was Dustin.”

“Noooo!” you gasped, bringing a hand to your chest in mock hurt “Even I am offended now.”

“You can only imagine how I felt.” he pretended to wipe an invisible tear from one of his eyes, making you laugh.

Once you calmed down, you cupped his face, running your thumb softly over his cheek, concerned.

“How are you feeling about all of this?”

“Honestly?” he chuckled “I can’t wait for Henderson and Harrington to fall flat on their faces!”

You scoffed, having known he would find a way to make light of this situation. It’s what he always did. 

“Now,” you pulled him in for another kiss “you were saying something about making it up to me?”

Feeling him smirk against the side of your head, you started trailing down, kissing along his neck. One of his hands slid up your torso, sliding under your shirt.

“Sweetheart.” he said, a little out of breath “You should grab a tape. Something fast paced maybe? Don’t want your folks catching us now, do we?”

You giggled, your teeth scraping gently against the skin of his collarbone.

“My parents aren’t home tonight.”

He groaned a loud sigh of relief.

“Ugh, thank god!” he spoke quite loudly “You know I hate doing it with music on. The rhythm is never quite correct.”

“Eddie!” you giggled looking up at him “That’s because you always choose a heavy metal of some sort. And besides, you’re one to complain. You’re not the one who’s left feeling sore afterwards because you tried to match the rhythm of the song.”

“Do I leave you feeling sore, sweetheart?” he asked, a smug look crossing his face as he pecked your lips twice.

“Yes, not that I’m complaining though.” you pouted. “Why don’t we leave for your trailer when my parents are here? I know your uncle works the night shifts.”

“You are a princess and should be treated accordingly.” he nuzzled his nose against yours “That dusty old junk is no place for you.” 

Pulling gently on his hair, you made him look at you.

“You know I don’t care about any of that.”

He nodded, kissing you again.

“I know.”

One of his hands snaked around your waist while the other pushed against the bed to help him gain enough momentum to flip you on your back, his body on top of yours against the mattress, making room for his denim clad hips to grind against your own between your thighs.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart. I’ll be gentle tonight.” he kissed you very softly, so softly you almost couldn’t feel it “Especially because I intend on keeping you here” he started punctuating every word with a kiss against your lips “All. Night. Long.”

[teecupangel]

Thoughts on the new chapter of the web comic of ac black flag?

Thank you so much for the previous response!

(I'm glad you enjoyed our rants hahahaha)

So, I forgot to add this in the first post but if you’d like to read the official English version of the webtoon, here you go.

As for my thoughts on the first chapter, here’s the post.

Before I rant about Chapter 2, I need to talk about this:

“Hey, Abstergo, how bad did Devil of the Carribean flop that Noa doesn’t know Edward Kenway??? Did it not get a Korean release???”

It’s this guy, Noa!

He’s in the freaking trailer!!!

Okay that’s the most forgivable 'oversight' they've done so far since, you know, it did flop so maybe it didn’t get an international release. Hey, maybe it’s a ‘so bad it’s good’ kind of cult classic by now XD

Let’s get on with me overanalyzing this webtoon.

Now, I’m going to assume you meant Chapter 2 as it’s the latest free chapter in Webtoons but, for those who didn’t know, they already have more chapters up that can be unlocked. I would suggest that you wait for the free chapters instead if you’re still unsure if you’d like to keep reading the webtoon or, you know, follow Captain Edward Kenway’s footsteps after being privateer didn't pan out XD

Okay, so let’s talk about Chapter 2… (and this may be disjointed and absolutely out of order)

First of all:

Adéwalé is mentioned!!!

It would be fun if he gets some screentime on this one, maybe save Edward some time or another.

Same, my man. Same.

Edward is also searching for a lost city in the IndoChina area, supposedly a city of the Isus, and part of the Khmer Kingdom.

Considering Khmer Kingdom was a Hindu-Buddhist empire, Isus based on Hindu gods (or an interpretation of already existing Isus seen as Hindu gods) could become vital to the story (or just a cameo).

There’s also info about missing ships and I’m betting this is connected to the lost city in some way.

If this is a case of Tomb Raider Yamatai’s defense mechanism though… come on, Ubisoft. (It’s also possible it’s those masked dudes but my bet is the Yamatai defense mechanism type)

Okay. I have a problem with this one…

So… I don't think we have confirmation if he has already married Tessa Kenway in this one but is Edward fully embracing that he’s British and not, you know, Welsh? Like, is this the vibe we’re going for here? Or are we going for “Welsh is part of Britain” type of deal and Edward is just calling himself British because, sure, yeah, okay, that’s how people around here know him as? Also, everyone thinks he’s British because of his accent but he’s Welsh in my ears (and maybe it’s not as thick as Catrin-Mai Huw’s Nia but it’s at least around the ballpark of Aimee-Ffion Edwards’ Mio so yeah, he sounds Welsh to me). (To be fair, he was a privateer under the British Crown so maybe this is just me pushing my headcanon that he’s proud to be Welsh).

THE MOST IMPORTANT PART THAT IS MOST PROBABLY JUST MEANT TO BE A REFERENCE:

I’ve talked about this in the other post before BUT this is most definitely a reference to the temple underneath Alamut. Now, Alamut isn’t in Syria but I’m going to think better of everyone who had a hand in this webtoon and assume that this is not a mistake but a hint that they’re starting to look into it but don’t know the exact location so they’re starting in Syria where the seat of power of the Levantine Brotherhood was. Also, it was Edward who found the temple so this serves as a nodnodwinkwink that they’re not going to find anything and Edward would have to check it himself later on… probably. I don’t know anymore with Ubisoft.

Additional Notes for the other chapters because goddamn it, I wanna talk about some of these already. Primarily, THREE THINGS!

ONE: EDWARD’S EYES GLOW WHEN HE USES THE EAGLE VISION

And since this is supposed to be canon, it means Eagle Vision making people’s eyes glow when it’s activated is canon! I feel so validated for my headcanon.

Although it looks more red than gold but I’m still going to keep describing the glow as gold because fuck Ubisoft, I'll write what I want XD

TWO: The implication of the name Shimazu

The lead of the whole ‘let’s abduct this dude and force him to relive Edward’s memories instead of paying him and make him believe it’s for a new game!’ plot is supposed to be this ‘Shimazu’ Sei although the quotation brings into question if she is truly related to the actual Shimazu Clan, it could just be a case of the whole ‘there’s no real evidence that she has Shimazu ancestry but yeah, she actually does’ thing.

So if we go by the idea that the Shimazu Clan is part of the Templar Order, this brings up some insight to the possible Templar activity in Japan because:

The Shimazu Clan is descended from the Minamoto Clan which are pretty much composed of members of the Japanese imperial family that have been removed from the line of succession or taken out of the family itself and became nobles instead. The Shimazu Clan’s Templar ‘roots’ may stem from their exclusion to what they may consider to be their birthright.

The Shimazu Clan’s ancestor is Minamoto no Yoritomo who is the brother of probably the most famous of the Minamoto brothers, Minamoto no Yoshitsune. Why is Yoshitsune famous? He’s known as one of the legendary heroes in Japanese history (although a lot may have been exaggerated at this point) and the Shimazu Clan’s ancestor Yoritomo is sometimes portrayed as going against him which, if Yoritomo is part of the Templar Order/Order of the Ancient, might imply that Yoshitsune was an ally of the Hidden Ones or something similar. (Historically though, they were allies but that might be the whole 'the Templars have muddled the truth' kind of deal)

The Shimazu Clan having Templar ties is also important because they were part of the Western Army in the Battle of Sekigahara which is another nod to AC lore of the Tokugawa Clan and the Eastern Army being allies with the Brotherhood during that time. There was no mention that the Western Army were Templars or Templar allies but, if this ‘Shimazu’ Sei does turn out to be an actual descendant of Clan Shimazu then this would imply the possibility that some (if not most or all) of the Western Army were either Templars or allied with the Templars.

THREE: Edward fighting shinobi-looking fellas

This gives the vibe that he’s fighting rogue/turncoats Assassins from the Japanese Brotherhood as most shinobis we know of were affiliated with the Brotherhood. I say ‘most’ because the Templars have employed a kunoichi before and Fuuma Kotaro seemed to not be affiliated with the Assassins or the Templars from what I read. So… yeah, might just be shinobis employed by the Shimazu clan as they have said or might be rogue/turncoats Assassins and ‘Shimazu’ Sei is meant to be their descendants. Maybe even both???

Not a mistake but I had assumed that the way of speaking of the characters was a translation choice but this (btw, this isn’t the official translation):

The Japanese line isn’t bad or unreadable/not understandable (and the English translation is not entirely correct which I assumed they translated from the Korean line that was included below the Japanese line) but it’s not exactly in accordance with the time period. Remember how Edward would say ‘Jay-sus!’ instead of ‘Jesus’ in Black Flag? Or how they speak in certain ways that we don’t use anymore? It’s similar to this considering that this was in 1724~25.

Maybe it’s because I watched a lot of Japanese period dramas but

目撃者を殺す

is too plain in my ears. The literal translation of this is “kill the witness” not “kill the witnesses”.

For a shinobi like this, I feel that translating “kill the witnesses” should be more like this:

すべての目撃者全滅する

That would translate to “Annihilating all eyewitnesses” which has more gravitas.

The more complete line would be “すべての目撃者を全滅する” but it’s more natural at times to remove particles when speaking and this is longer, yes, but that’s usually how they speak in olden times. Since Japan is still in the Edo period, they’d still be using a more archaic way of speaking than what we’re used to. This すべての目撃者全滅する, btw, is already modernized compared to how they should normally speak but it’ll be more ‘believable’ than just 目撃者を殺す.

Or… you know… the mook shinobi is not really a poet nor a reader and I’m thinking too deeply on this.

If you’ve read up to the end, here, have a chibi Edward XD

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hey Steph! Do you or your followers have any fics in which sherlock is really good in chemistry (as he should), like you get that he knows a lot about it? but like in a way that it's included in the fic in some way or the other? does not have to be a fic centered around that topic in a major way or anything

Hey Nonny!

AHHHHH bugging me because I know I have some SPECIFICALLY focussed on Chemistry... but here's everything tagged / referencing chemistry that I can recall! Feel free to add more, friends!

SHERLOCK AND CHEMISTRY

A Symphony of Chemical Reactions by what_alchemy (T, 2,351 w., 1 Ch. || Experiments, Est. Rel., Fluff) – Cooking’s just chemistry and time management. (Sherlock loves John so much it’s gross)

John's Missing Wednesday by PipMer (K+, 2,999 w., 1 Ch. || Pre-Slash, Pre-TSo3, Non-Con Drugged John, Friendship, Experiment) –  "Now John I'd poison. ... Sloppy eater – dead easy. I've given him chemicals and compounds that way, he's never even noticed. He missed a whole Wednesday once, didn't have a clue." – The Sign of Three. This is the story of that missing Wednesday.

Equilibrium by augustbird (M, 12,351 w., 1 Ch. || Flowers for Algernon Fusion || Jealous then Worried Sherlock, Sick John) – At Baskerville, John is infected by a virus that turns him into a genius. But when the infection progresses into neurodegeneration, it's a race against time to save himself.

Traitor's Gate by roane (E, 17,714 w., 6 Ch. || Post-TRF, Case Fic, Mystery, Bets and Wagers, Undercover for a Case, BAMF John, Scientist Sherlock, Teasing, Established Relationship, Military Base, Sexting/Texting, Military/Uniform Kink, Frottage, Dirty Sex, Anal, Bottomlock) – John and Sherlock go undercover at a top secret government lab to find out who is selling research. John is back in uniform and Sherlock is back in a laboratory, but they have to pose as strangers. Sherlock thinks he'll have an easy time of it, but John has his doubts. It's up to them to find out who is responsible for putting a dangerous weapon in the wrong hands, and try to keep their hands off each other at the same time.

Love or What You Will by miss_frankenstein (T, 31,987 w., 11 Ch. || College/Uni AU || Professor John, Ph.D Student Sherlock, Pining John, Poetry, Falling in Love / Slow Burn, Light Angst, Happy Ending) – John is an English professor who specializes in War and Post-War Literature and Sherlock is the brilliant yet impossible Ph.D. student assigned to be his TA because no one in the Chemistry Department is willing to put up with him. And - somewhere between Waugh and Plath, e-mails and takeaway, novels and villanelles - they fall in love.

The Real Great Perfumers by shelleysprometheus (E, 45,355 w., 68 Ch. || Case Fic, Alternating POV, Gay Sherlock / Bi John, Canon Compliant with Divergence at TRF, Friends to Lovers, Oral / Anal, Pining, First Kiss / Time, Dev. Rel., Drugging, Body Worship, Bathing, Love Confessions, Travelling, Bottomlock, Cranky Sherlock, BJ’s, Alternating POV, Jealous John) – The case, this case. This extraordinary, fascinating, scintillating case. A house. Designed entirely by its eccentric owner, built by no less than five hundred expert tradesmen in the heart of Marrakesh. A house that had, seemingly not only driven its owner out, but also to his quite unpleasant death. And a perfumer, a chemist no less, the very thought of the secrets that house could reveal, would reveal was irresistible. Sherlock had to have this case ... and it seems, he also had to have John! Part 1 of the Forethought and Fire series

A Hundred Crimson Sols by elldotsee (E, 55,536 w., 16 Ch. || Astronauts AU || Mars Exploration / Space Travel, Slow Burn, Shy Sherlock, Scientist Sherlock / Biomed Engineer John, Alternating POV, Mutual Pining, UST, Angst with Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Injuries, Suicidal Ideation, Zero-G Sex) – Will Holmes is a chemical researcher recognized widely for his contributions to the new Mars exploration program. Thanks to his ground-breaking developments, the IMMC (International Mars Mission Corporation) is one step closer to Martian colonization. Will and his team of scientists are headed out on the first of three manned missions before the first group of settlers arrive. Three days before launch, one of the crew has to be replaced. Will panics because...new people. The replacement is of course one John Watson, biomedical engineer and space hottie who was pretty sure he had retired from actual space exploration and was now content to work in the nice, quiet research lab. Can the crew survive this TOTALLY ROUTINE trip? Will they be able to endure each other for the looooooong trip in close quarters? Gonna be a wild ride... prepare for blast off. Part 1 of SpaceBois go to Space 

Sketchy by serpentynka (E, 184,053 w., 83 Ch. || Post-TRF, Post-Mary, John Whump, Slow Burn Love Story, Case Fic, Art, Porn With Feelings, Switchlock, Travelling, Career Change, Family Secrets, Illness / Health) – What (and who) will be left when nobody cares about your Work? A slow-burn fic with cases, places, mistaken identities, unfair choices, essential changes, violent feels, blatant lies, fearless portraiture, family secrets, high-risk bespoke gifts, durable friendships, bedtime stories, foreign travel and tongues, sickness (and health), and the significance of things which are slow to unfurl -- but cannot be ignored. Oh, and...porn. Part 1: Sherlock takes on an obvious case (barely a 4) and meets someone who will force him to re-examine what it means to see. Part 1 of Sketchy

[lostfieldd]

Hello Trollhunters fandom [said into a dark void].

Take my Troll Jimbo headcanons because I miss my boy (feel free to rt/comment and add your thoughts/own headcanons!)

Sorry if my grammar and spelling sucks I’m writing this late at night running on four hours of sleep 🧍

Cat-like behaviour

I’m completely convinced that trolls have some feline-like nature, especially since some species have controllable tails.

This means Jim can purr (LOVES head scratches idc fiGHt me), and his pupils dilate when he’s interested in something.

He has a tail and it will act like a cats, sometimes it wags when he’s really excited. He has ears that express emotions as well, like AAARRRGGHH’s do, but they’re a lot more expressive.

Bonus: Toby bought a laser pointer just to fuck with him.

Physical changes

As covered in the saga, he had enhanced speed, agility, and strength. I’m gonna go a little further than that. I imagine his senses would’ve been amplified by a LOT when he first transformed, and would sometimes become overwhelming. Claire or Blinky would have to talk him through these sort of things until he got a hold of himself again. Merlin wouldn’t have been much of a help since he’s an ass.

I bet he would’ve been really overwhelmed, being able to hear and smell things that the typical human ear cannot, and hearing things from farther distances. This came in handy on his trek to New Jersey with Claire, Blinky and the others, in case they got separated somehow (for instance, finding shade and places to hide during the day). This means he can track them through both sound and smell, which is something that took him a while to get a hang of.

Chompers. Big teefs. He can basically bite through anything except for really tough metal and diamond. I’m completely convinced that Claire would just buy entire bagfuls of silverware for him to chew on, its his favourite snack.

Night-vision!! This is a headcanon I have for trolls as a whole, but I imagine they’d have amazing night-vision, stronger than your usual animal that has strong night-vision idk I should do some research.

Behaviour as a whole

He can be really aggressive if needed, and of course it will be amplified if he wears a grit-shaka or inhales gravesand.

A lot more playful!! Since he’s younger, he has more of a childish nature, being 16-17 years old. I imagine any younglings who were traveling with them to New Jersey absolutely loved playing with him. Even before he was transformed, I bet he would often make time to watch them play or play with them (with the armor on.

For like, general shows of affection, I imagine trolls do little head bonks like goats. I imagine Jim doing this with Claire a lot, but a lot more gentle and just with their foreheads, whereas with other trolls it will be more with the top of their head, and their horns will often bonk together. He definitely does it a lot with Blinky (because found family trope) and they just grow even closer through the journey to New Jersey. (inspo for the bonks of affection taken from a post from @nattikay, i am too lazy to scroll through her whole blog to find it I am so Tired™️ (if you see this i love your art hello 🧍))

Anyways thanks for listening to my rambles goodbye 🏃

[laximpulsion]

love the new chapter!! Can't wait for the next one, do u have any fave leatin fics i can check out in the meantime?

Why thank youuuu!! So glad you're liking it :) Lol, very good question! To give you a needlessly long answer with a lot of disclaimers...

It all starts with the kind of funny fact that i actually got into the wilds because of Shoni! But by the time i started writing I had done a HARD pivot to leatin. And now that I write, I do a lot less reading than I did before, so I don't actually have as many leatin fic recs as one might hope. (I definitely have more shoni fics bookmarked on my ao3 page than leatin ones lmao it's kind of funny)

ALSO, I tend to actively avoid fics that sound similar to what I'm writing now or what I plan on writing in the near future. So for that reason I have not read many S3 fics or post-island fics. And a side effect of this is that i DO read a lot of AUs, so this might be mostly AUs, sorry if thats not your jam!! maybe someone else can chime in with canon fics?

anyway. i KNOW im gonna be missing lots of good ones so sorry in advance but here's some ideas to get you started:

This feels like low hanging fruit but it's true - anything by lostresidentevilpotter is a good bet, the ex-girlfriends one was an instant classic for me and actually i think it was one of the first leatin fics i ever read! really you could spend a week making your way through the lostresidentevilpotter archives and it would be a week well spent.

I'm also a big JourEtNuit fan - this one where all the girls go into witness protection after the island was another instant classic, and another of the ones that I read really early on in my fandom journey so it has a special place in my heart. more recently i loved the The Last of Us AU !

Perhaps an unconventional pick because it's not my usual thing but this social media AU where the girls start a joint tiktok account after the island has TOTALLY charmed me and I adore it, always makes me smile.

I really enjoyed this series by tardexlanoche - think this is actually the only full-on s3 fic I've read, and I loved the premise set up by the first one in the series where Fatin and Leah were kind of almost friends before the island. Plus i believe there will be a sort of AU of itself that branches off after the first fic in the series about what would happen betw. them if they never went to the island, which I think is a super neat concept.

And one of the few other canon-adjacent fics I read and enjoyed a lot is The Fall by Ecrooked24 , where leah and fatin get stuck in a ravine and have to confront their feelings - with angst aplenty. (I've also been loving Polaroids!!)

And then there's a few others that only started recently but I'm keeping an eye on because they intrigued me -

tip the world on its side - leah sees gretchen in LA, i have no idea what's going on but i'm very into it so far

this compass tattoo soulmate au - i am not usually a soulmate AU kind of gal but this one has got me hooked!

this ghost hunter AU - had me at ghost honestly! and then had me again at ghost *hunter* lol

this one where Fatin leaves Leah annotated books - annotated books are such a cute concept and it was SO ruined by jeff doing it!

whew okay...sorry this was so long but if you follow me you should hopefully know by now that i write fucking NOVELS any chance i get hahaha. if anyone has anything else to add please feel free!! especially s3/canon-adjacent/post-island fics!

EDIT: suggestions from the comments - these are all great too, i've read a lot of them and started others!!

Mad Girl's Love Song by ThornedRose44 come home to my heart by scoutshonour, Sleepless in Sylvester by comicc_bookk_jawnss, pull you from the tide aka the tinder series au by overnights, did you win? aka the celeb au by lunchables, and can't forget the amnesia au i was dangerously tangled (the second time i met you) by rosymidnights.

[doctorguilty]

Fionna and cake s2 predictions + personal wants, because I want the satisfaction of getting anything right lol

Predictions:

The settings will only really be Ooo and fionnaworld (no more multiverse hopping)

Fionna and Cake will end up back in Ooo for one reason or another, accompanied by Marshall Lee and Gary (possibly others, but putting most bets on those two)

Marshall Lee and Gary will meet their Ooo counterparts and they love them, Gary especially enamored with the candy kingdom

Finn will take a significantly bigger role, possibly replacing Simon as the main party member with Fionna and Cake (and company, if my former predictions are true)

Simon will still have significance in the story, but possibly more B plot

There will be a brand new villain and new stakes (I don't have a specific prediction on them) (I DO think Fionna coming back to Ooo though will have something to do with them)

Scarab stays in the cube with Primso (but we'll be seeing them sometimes)

Farmworld Finn??? Wouldn't he be missing his son? I kinds forget how the finale left that kid off other than he's in Fionnaworld now with his girlfriend.. I'd be surprised if there was nothing important brought up with those characters one way or another.

Betty will be seen to some degree, if only in flashbacks

Astrid will have some importance, perhaps meeting up with Fionna again

No more crown, crown is gone from the story entirely

Fionna will have a new outfit, it won't be the classic one nor the road loot one (she will keep the bunny hat though)

New songgggs :D

Things I WANT but don't feel confident betting on them:

SIMON AND MARCY PLEASE I'M SCREAMING AND CRYING AND THROWIMG UP AT LEAST ONE SIMON AND MARCY

I think it'd be REALLY fun if while Fionna + co are in Ooo, Simon swapped places (involuntarily?) and was stuck in Fionnaworld. This also a) makes it so Fionnaworld is not left out of the story, b) plenty of opportunity to see more of the characters in her world as Simon interacts with them, and c) this situation is already set up really well by the fact that Simon and Fionna can communicate via magic phone

I'd enjoy if the villain/stakes of the story had to do with Golb(etty?) somehow.

Seeing more of Ice cream queen (fem!simon/fionnaworld ice queen whatever you want to call her I don't think she has an official human name does she..?) and having her be a significant character (she DID have one of the portals to Ooo inadvertently in her cart ..) If Simon were to be in Fionnaworld like I want, it would be funny if he was the one to interact with her

LONG SHOT but I want there to be a gender swapped Betty and he's either married to ice cream queen, OR, longer shot, he and Simon end up together. (Would be quite interesting really, if he were to stay in Fionnaworld for that reason, though I also feel like that disrupts the conclusion of him accepting his life in Ooo. I dunno. This is all so fanficy I must be getting beamed with ice king thoughts. Many such cases. 😔)

Fionna gets a love interest of her own and (i want her to be explicitly confirmed bisexual)

That is all i can think of for now but I may add to it 🤔 can't wait to see if I get to cross anything off

If any writers are looking at my post feel free to steal my ideas I won't tell tehe 🙈 (joke but like can you imagine sjfjwkfjsk)

[anon-8518]

List of Writer's Tips that I made (will be updated frequently)

Through out my time working on City Bleats and various SITBC fan-fics, I had learnt a lot about writing and I decided to share knowledge as tips so people can learn from them and grow better as writers.

#1 - Cliff-hangers

There are two types of cliff-hangers that I came up with: Conclusive and Continuative

Conclusive is when you end your story here and leave the audience to think about what's going to happen next, especially if you don't have a sequel planned. Your best bet if you don't know what else to finish your story with, and you can change it to a Continuative one easily if you had made a sequel.

Continuative is when you add hints in an ending that leave the audience thinking that a sequel is going to be made and be excited about what's happening next. Only use it if you have sequel in the works AND if you're confident it's going to be finished, and you cannot change it to a Conclusive one at all. Too many works have fallen victim to this.

My advice: Be careful on what you choose.

#2 - Clichés

Despite what many think, clichés aren't inheriently bad. It is their usage that counts. Don't feel ashamed if you have to use a cliché if it actually helps the story and it isn't overused.

#3 - Importance

If something is not important, there is no point including it (jokes are excluded). It just waste the audience's time and makes something longer than it already needs to be.

#4 - Two Wrongs Don't Make a Right

It doesn't matter if your character has done good deeds before or is even heroic, if they do something that is considered evil, they don't get a free pass. They still did something that is considered evil. You should be focusing more on their redemption or even write-off rather than their excuses.

#5 - Dumb =/= Entertaining or Funny

Even if the world the work sets in is dumb, just because something is dumb doesn't make it entertaining or funny. The reason some dumb stuff is funny is because there is either a good reason, joke or logic behind it, not just because it's dumb.

A perfect example of a wrong way of doing this is "An Officer and a Gentle-Lamb" from Sheep in the Big City (S2 E10). The world of SITBC is considered dumb in some areas, but it mostly works because there's good reasons and logic behind it (like Sheep being wanted by a secret military organization because he is needed for a sheep-powered ray-gun that only he can fit in). This episode fails at that because there no logic, reason or even joke behind the decisions made (like Sheep getting fired from his job because the SMO keeps raiding his boss' shop despite it being out of his control, or how Sheep joins the SMO despite being the same organization who wants to capture him (even the show makes fun of it)), and expects the audience to laugh. Instead, the audience is frustrated at it, and you don't want that.

#6 - Post-Credit Scenes are Not Your Friend

If you're going to put lore into a work, never (and I mean NEVER) put them in post-credit scenes. The audience often don't stay for them and would miss out, especially if the lore in question is important and not all the episodes/parts/etc. have post-credit scenes at all. If anything, putting lore in the background is more likely to get noticed.

#7 - Less IS More

You can make many signs towards something you want your audience to notice, but they'll always notice something else if there are a bunch of important factors involved that are not present in the former (e.g: Is it more enjoyable? Is it logical? Is it better overall?).

#8 - First Impressions or Cancellation

When you're making an introduction or pilot to your work, you better make sure that it grabs the audience's attention and interests them. If the beginning is too boring, then they would leave and not continue the work further, missing out on any excitement that lays beyond.

#9 - Last Impressions or a Waste

Like tip #8, you better make sure all the backstory, build-up, anything really (with the exceptions of jokes), ends up not going to waste and being essential to the ending of the work. If none of that is ever brought up or is important in the end, then your audience is either going to forget about it or even despise it if it's constantly hinted at, therefore, making it a waste.

#10 - About Fan Service

Fan Service is like sugar. Very little, if none at all, could make the audience assume that you are not listening or acknowledging them. Too much could make it notable, distracting and off-putting to some.

[aroaceofdiamonds]

A List of the Shit I Pulled While Playing Breath of the Wild

For context, I didn't play this game until December last year. I had no idea about the plot for this game and I did some stupid shit while playing my first playthrough. Will update the list as I remember more.

Feel free to add your own stories.

PART 1 - RANDOM STORIES

Didn't fight any of the Bokoblins guarding the Temple of Time. I climbed through the window. Multiple times. Even after getting the Master Sword

Didn't upgrade my inventory space once. I got the maracas (a whole story of their own), gave them back, found a couple Korok seeds. But I never went back. I didn't bother

The Maracas Story: I attempted to clear the monsters guarding the maracas by using bombs. I knocked both of them off the cliff. But one of them fell onto a ledge and lived. So, I jump down to kill him and get the chest unlocked. Queue a massive cliff to climb. I used a lot of energy potions. The worst part? As I was reaching the last part, it started to rain.

Decided the best thing to do first rather than any of the missions was to go conquer as many towers as possible. Queue all the most pathetic attempts to climb towers without killing any of the monsters guarding the towers. I think I did like most of the one around Hateno and Kakariko before actually doing anything. Hell, I'm pretty sure I got the Wasteland Tower before I made my first attempt at a Divine Beast.

I tried Ridgeland Tower. Without beating a single Divine Beast. I tried about 20 times before deciding to do Vah Ruta

PART 2 - VAH RUTA

Spent like 15-20 minutes getting the Shock Arrows off Shatterback Point. Yeah, I didn't try and fight

Forgot Cryonis existed during Vah Ruta and Waterblight Ganon. I literally only found out because I tried googling tips

Broke Mipha's Spear. My biggest regret

Tried Ridgeland Tower again. Without trying to kill anything. At this point, I bet you can see a pattern

PART 3 - VAH RUDANIA

Didn't buy both sets of fireproof armour for Vah Rudania. I ran out of potions just before getting to the boss. I left, sold stuff for cash, bought the other armour and spent 10 minutes climbing the mountain to get back before realising I could teleport back

Didn't drop the bomb in Fireblight Ganon for like 5 minutes

Didn't properly attempt dodging until Thunderblight Ganon, so Fireblight Ganon was fun

Attempted to beat Ridgeland Tower without killing. It failed, I panicked and ended up killing the Wizrobes.

PART 3 - VAH MEDOH

I think it was round about here I tried to get all the memories. That's a dumb decision itself (especially Hyrule Castle and the ceremony site)

PART 4 - VAH NABORIS

Failed at Seal Surfing while trying to get on Vah Naboris

Avoided fighting the 3 Yiga Clan members outside the base by climbing the cliff

Unintentionally found the Master Kohga arena. I didn't jump in because I didn't see the objective point there. I thought I went too far

Didn't upgrade my inventory space so all my weapons broke fighting Thunderblight Ganon. It was a pain in the ass. I literally had to abandon the fight temporarily for a neighbouring room to kill a guardian and get a new weapon. That's how bad it was

PART 5 - HYRULE CASTLE

Finally got the Master Sword

Ran past the Guardians

Fought my first Stalnox

Finally mastered dodging

Used the Golden Bow for 10 minutes during the Dark Beast Ganon fight because I though the Bow of Light auto-equipped. My attacks weren't hitting and I thought I was missing until the message 'Your Golden Bow is badly damaged' popped up

After beating the game, I went back to the castle to try and find the library. I ended up in the Second Gatehouse. And that's how I fought my first Lynel.

To Conclude: I was a grade-A coward who'd rather dodge everything than fight the most basic monsters

[laughing-with-god]

The Unsaid Vow (Prologue)

Synopsis- You always knew when you weren't wanted. And the way things are going in your marriage with Jungkook, a divorce is looking more and more likely. While he's getting closer to a woman at work that you're certain he's having an affair with, you're planning your escape with your four-year-old son. However, five years of marriage did not expose you to a certain side of your husband. A side of Jungkook that only gets triggered when you try to leave and break apart your perfect 'family'.

Warnings- Yandere behavior, graphic language, violence/murder, women bashing on other women, heavily implied infidelity, bad parenting, absent father, broken family vibes, very slow buildup bc Jungkook doesn't really snap until you leave him so just give him a min lol, inexperienced author writing for a four-year-old (I never wrote for a kid before pls gimme a break), also I chose my future son's name for this fic but pls feel free to name him whatever you want :)

Slow burn Yandere Husband Jungkook

Word Count; 5.4k

Unlike the vast majority of married couples, neither you nor Jungkook donned wedding rings.

Never in your five years of marriage did you regret this decision, given it was brought upon by you and your husband’s lack of funds for fancy wedding bands at the time of your rushed marriage.

Well, you were never annoyed....until tonight, that is.

The scene before you was exceptionally intimate, so much so that you felt the instinctual need to look away in respect of the two before you.

The woman was gorgeous, effortlessly attracting all the attention the small conference room had to offer. In addition to this natural charisma spurred on by her borderline enchanting looks, her short and skin-tight red dress showed off her pleasantly curvy body. Her long, silky, and jet-black hair was pulled back into an elegant ponytail that provided a simple background for her darling features. Utterly doll-like was her face; petite, creamy in complexion with bright doe eyes and berry-pink lips.

Such a beautiful woman was currently in the arms of an equally, if not more so, attractive man.

He was tall and slender, yet not at all lanky given his sturdy build that was a testament to his strict workout regime. His olive skin was complimented with occasional tattoos, a mix of faded and fresh ink that you knew like the back of your hand despite only the tats on his hand currently showing in his crisp Valentino suit. His mid-length inky black hair was down to frame his sharp face, and indeed it was a very handsome one consisting of full eyebrows, bow-like lips, a fleshy yet impish nose, and two large, yet seemingly bottomless, raven orbs.

This man had his arms encircling the middle of the mysterious woman, her expression lifting into a light-hearted giggle as she leaned forward to whisper something in his ear.

Whatever she said must’ve been amusing to the man, given his usual stoic facade briefly melted away as he allowed a small smile at her words, his pearly round teeth peeking out for a split-second appearance.

If you didn’t know any better, you would have thought that these two were lovers.

But there was only one problem with this scene.

That was your husband, Jungkook.

And that woman in his arms was not you.

As if sensing your distress and wanting to soothe your well-founded suspicion, Jungkook pulled away from the woman and ran his gaze across the room- only stopping when he spotted you. Your spouse then gestured at you, the girl following his line of sight and landing on you and your pitiful spot by the snack table. Her joyful expression briefly dropped for a blink-and-you'll-miss-it second, but she quickly plastered on another grin and nodded. The two then strode their way over to you, barely giving you enough time to steel your nerves and muster a polite purse of the lips.

Before you knew it, the woman was right in front of you with your partner at her side instead of yours. Much to your dismay, she was only more attractive up close, and you narrowly held back a grimace as she held out a hand in introduction. You took it and shook it lifelessly.

“Hello, you must be Mrs. Jeon. I’m Sana, Jungkook’s colleague.” Even her voice was pretty, musical and light to the ears.

“H-Hi, nice to meet you but please call me Y/n.” A brief and awkward pause as Sana briefly sized you up and down. “Um, Jungkook has never mentioned you….” you trailed off, side-eyeing your husband in hopes he would intervene and add context to this random goddess he’s thrust upon you.

Jungkook gracefully took his cue and explained, “Sana transferred from another branch out of the city and has only been with us for five months. I’m her case supervisor and have been taking care of her, showing her the ropes and whatnot.”

Sana didn’t even spare you a glance as she fondly looked up at your husband, coyly biting her lip and saying in a much softer tone that could've been just for his ears only, “And he’s been really good at taking care of me.”

You didn’t consider yourself a jealous stay-at-home wife who obsessed over the tiniest details between her husband and other women, but the double meaning behind her badly-whispered comment was enough to make you splutter in disbelief. However before you could even gather up the courage to ask just what the hell ‘taking care of me’ consisted of, two new faces waltzed up and joined the conversation.

“Are you all enjoying this fabulous Christmas party?” A tall, broad-shouldered but nice-looking man asked in a tone of familiar amicability.

You thankfully smiled up at him, having met him many times before.

His name was Jin, and he was the one who got Jungkook this job.

It occurred about five years ago when you first told Jungkook that you were pregnant. Being the romantic but overall good guy that Jungkook was, he insisted that you two get married so that your child could have parents who were at least husband and wife. In addition it would also lessen the judgment in your two families, which at the time was extremely appealing to you. You had agreed to marry on one condition: after running to the courthouse you two would need to move in together in a decent apartment with a room for the nursery. But getting an apartment would mean month-to-month rent, and Jungkook’s tattooing gigs weren’t stable enough to ensure that.

Jin was originally a friend of Jungkook’s older brother, but when he heard through the grapevine about the issue, he bought Jungkook a couple of suits and offered him a job at the corporation he worked at.

Now Jungkook made more than enough money to support your little family, and it was all because Jin took a chance on a college drop-out and his knocked-up girlfriend.

You opened your mouth to respond but were cut off by the unknown lady beside Jin.

“I’d say a little too much fun if anything. Sana and Jungkook, we get that you're the infamous office couple but maybe tone it down a bit, huh?” She joked while raising her brows at the close proximity between the two.

A long and tortuous silence swept the scene.

Jin glanced at you, pity swimming in his usually carefree eyes.

Not trusting your voice to say anything and desperately wanting to hide your face from the piercing eyes, you distracted yourself by taking calculated sips of watered-down eggnog.

“Daehyun...this is actually Y/n, Jungkook’s wife,” Jin told the lady in an uncomfortable voice.

You didn’t know what stung more, the fact that this stranger thought that there was more chemistry between Sana and your husband than with you, or that it was Jin who corrected this mistake and not Jungkook himself.

“O-Oh, well it’s nice to meet you.” Daehyun awkwardly said to you while avoiding direct eye contact.

You offered a tight smile, “Pleasure.”

Whatever gratitude you could’ve had for Daehyun’s clear embarrassment quickly vanished when the woman went on to continue, “I’m sorry. Jungkook never mentioned being married and he doesn’t wear a ring so I didn’t even know. I bet it must be interesting for his housewife to meet his office wife though, right?”

She laughed, not realizing that she only succeeded in putting a foot in her mouth right before stomping it all over your pesky little heart. The group didn’t seem to share your uneasiness, all three of them politely chuckling along to the lukewarm joke at your expense. Once again, you focused on your dwindling beverage to avoid the burden of speaking or even facing them directly, too scared that your miserable expression would be unanimously inspected.

“Well, we just came over to recruit you all for some karaoke!” Jin cheerfully announced, clearly trying to change the subject, “There’s a machine in the break-out room and it’s more fun to sing with a group.”

“More like you want an audience.” Jungkook wittingly teased, a handsome smirk on his face as Sana playfully scolded him with a push to the chest.

“I’ll take your jabs now Kookie because I know they stem from your insecurity that I can actually upstage you in the vocals department.” Jin rebutted in good nature, even letting your husband’s old nickname slip.

Daehyun and Sana both guffawed at this declaration, exaggerated disbelief present on their faces.

“Jungkook is the best singer in the office. He’ll upstage you without even trying.” Daehyun said in a tenor of utter confidence.

“Only one way to find out!” Jin brushed the comment off, pointing to the direction of the assumed breakout room, “Karaoke anyone?”

The so-called office wife nodded enthusiastically, taking your husband’s arm and looking up at him to plead, “Can we do a duet of that one song we like?”

Jungkook, for the first time in seemingly hours, shot you with a questioning gaze.

Be married to someone for a while and you’ll learn how to decipher what they’re trying to say with just mere looks. Your husband was wordlessly inquiring if you were going to join, if he should go along with the group or if you two should break away and do something else.

The ball was finally in your court.

Not wanting to be rude but needing to get away from these people before you lost your cool, you decided on a subtle excuse.

“I need a refill, but maybe we can meet you all later?” You said, shaking your empty paper cup as if to prove your case.

“Oh, well the drinks are right behind you.” Sana condescendingly pointed out, tightening her hold on your husband and began steering him towards the exit, “We’ll save a seat for you.”

Bewildered, you watched as Jungkook obediently followed her lead with the Daehyun girl trailing behind.

He didn’t even spare you a glance.

You wanted to be angry.

You wanted to storm up to your husband, yank him out of the clutches of his colleagues and practically drag him back home under the premise that he would never speak to Sana ever again.

But instead of a righteous rage fueled by the marital vows you two took, utter exhaustion bestowed upon you and prevented any instigation on your part.

Maybe earlier in your marriage you would’ve fought for his attention, but now you simply just wanted to go home and lick your wounds with the help of a Ben and Jerry’s ice cream while self-obsessing over Sana’s outrageous attractiveness. After all, who could blame any hot-blooded man for choosing that goddess over you? What could you possibly do but lean back and accept that she was the obvious choice?

Other than her being a knockout beauty while you were merely average on your best day, she had other qualities that made her a more appealing catch. She was most likely younger than you, obviously fit, more ambitious and professionally driven than you, and presumably has no kids.

Meanwhile, you were just an old stay-at-home mom who lived off of her husband’s paychecks while he fucked his coworkers behind her oblivious back.

Before you could draw more detailed comparisons between Sana and yourself, you felt a large hand place itself on the middle of your back, successfully guiding your attention to the only person who bothered staying by your side.

Jin smiled sadly at you, sympathy shadowing his expression as he gestured with his other hand to the empty cup still in your hold. “Let’s get you some more eggnog.”

You nodded wordlessly, still speechless from the interaction, and allowed the taller man to guide you towards the snack table. Jin then took your cup and refilled it himself, providing you the opportunity to pick at the catered food in some cheap attempt at stress eating. By the time Jin came back with a full cup, you were halfway done with a sugar cookie and eyeing the meatballs next.

“Here ya go,” Jin said as he handed over the drink to you. You took it and nodded in thanks but kept your eyes glued to the food, not wanting him to see just how defeated and tired your face probably was. But, Jin wasn’t going to let the whole thing go. “Y/n….I know what you saw and heard looks really bad but trust me….nothing is going on between Sana and Jungkook.”

You snorted. “It doesn’t just look bad, Jin. It was like they were practically rubbing it in my face. Him having an affair isn’t the problem, it’s the way they’re not even bothering to keep it down. The least they could do is be discreet.”

Jin’s jaw slightly dropped, “‘Him having an affair isn’t the problem’? Y/n, do you even hear yourself? Of course that would be a problem! Do you not care about your own marriage anymore?”

And there it was.

The big question.

Did you truly even care about this marriage?

Well, let’s look at the facts.

One: The disrespect of his alleged mistress was more offensive to you than the fact that she was a mistress.

Two: Jungkook dragging you along to this office Christmas party was the first time in over a year that he bothered to take you out.

Three: You two had humble beginnings and could barely afford food, much less wedding bands when you first got married, but now he was a very wealthy man and had no excuse for not buying you or himself a ring. Unless, of course, he enjoyed acting single around other women.

Four: And on top of all this, it had to be factored in how distant he has been with overwhelming work hours that prevented any alone time with your husband. Sex with Jungkook has been off the table for almost a year now.

But did any of this really bother you until tonight? The answer was a resounding no. You were willing to take all those burdens in stride but tonight it wasn’t just about the fact that you were the unwanted wife Jungkook got sacked with, it was the fact that you were humiliated and forced to face the type of girl Jungkook should’ve been married to all along. That was all you were truly upset about.

The conclusion that you indeed didn’t care about your marriage and haven’t in some time now hit you in a sudden wave, but in no way were you shocked.

Voice shaky and brittle, you allowed yourself to be vulnerable with Jin and say the one thing you always secretly thought but never dared utter out loud. “I-I guess I always expected it to end like this. When we were younger, he was always the popular one and all the girls wanted him. We were only dating for three months when I got pregnant, and if it weren’t for our son he probably would’ve dumped me eventually and left for another girl. But, he stuck around for his kid because he’s a good father. And I’ve been nothing but a burden to him for a while now.”

Tears began to blur your vision, forcing you to quickly duck down and quietly sip at your drink so as to not embarrass yourself even more.

You heard a shuffle and suddenly Jin was holding you, using both of his lengthy arms to cage you in and rest you against his broad chest. It had been a long time since a man had held you like that, and you practically went boneless at the contact. You closed your eyes and tried to will away the incoming tears, even going so far as to solely focus on the scent of Jin’s cologne as he soothingly said, “Y/n, listen closely to what I’m about to say. You and Hugo were never a burden to Jungkook, and you two never will be. Your marriage was sudden, but it doesn’t make it less valid than any other marriage out there. Jungkook has been with you for so long, he just doesn’t realize when other women are interested in him because he’s been off the market forever. But I promise you, if I knew for even a second that he cheated, I would tell you right away.”

You didn’t say anything.

Although Jin’s words were comforting, they weren’t necessarily true. A marriage that started from a healthy courtship and true love instead of inconvenient circumstances was of course more valid than yours. And even though you were sure of Jin’s honesty and loyalty to you, Jungkook could’ve easily kept his affair secret from Jin as well.

However, you didn’t wish to concern Jin anymore. You already put him through too much awkwardness tonight and didn’t want to keep him by your side as some sort of emotional sponsor any longer than you already have. Jin always loved parties and was the life of any one he was invited to, even if it was just a lame annual office gathering. You then felt guilty for putting Jin in a situation where he would even have to console you when he should be out enjoying karaoke with the rest of his coworkers.

You promptly pulled away from Jin and wiped at your face. He released you and also took a step back, carefully studying you for any signs of further turmoil. Once sure that your face was acceptably dry, you gazed back up at him and offered a thankful smile. “Thanks Jin, I’m sorry I just dumped all of that on you. I really have to use the ladies' room though, can you point me to it?”

“It’s right by the conference room,” Jin informed, pointing out the general direction for you. You nodded and took a few steps toward it before he grasped your wrist to stop you and ask, “Do you want me to wait for you?”

“No, it’s okay. I’ll just find you and Jungkook when I’m out. Go and join the others for karaoke.”

Jin nodded but seemed unsure.

You didn’t look back to see if he actually went to follow the others, instead just advancing to the restrooms, secretly looking forward to some alone time even if it had to come from a public bathroom.

Once you entered the restroom you were relieved to find it completely empty, you weren’t sure if you could handle another run-in with Jungkook’s female colleagues. They all seemed to have a personal vendetta against you.

Instantly, you dashed to the mirror to inspect your makeup, assuming at least the mascara was ruined from your little cry. Thankfully, the damage was minimal and you were able to clean the smudges up with a damp napkin. You focused all your attention on the dreadfully small task, trying not to study your reflection too much given it would just conjure up more mental comparisons to all the other prettier women you encountered that night.

Yet the small task couldn’t last a lifetime, and you had to resort to looking at your phone in search of things to do. You weren’t emotionally ready to go out and search for your husband, so you wanted to prolong your time in the bathroom. Although it hasn’t been that long since you left the house, you decided to text the babysitter for any updates about your son.

To Emily: Hey, is everything okay with Hugo?

It only took about 40 seconds for the teenage neighbor girl to text back an answer, clearly on top of things and overly eager to provide any updates.

Emily: Yes! He ate his dinner, took his bath and we’re about to get ready for bed.

Your motherly instincts were satisfied with that response, but it didn’t do anything to subdue your desire to return back home. Your thumbs briefly hovered over the keypad, somewhat hesitant with the next text you were about to send.

To Emily: Great, thanks again for doing this. Listen, I think we might head back home sooner than we thought. Don’t worry tho, I’ll still give you the pay for the full four hours.

Before you could wait for a response from her, the sound of multiple incoming footsteps interrupted the steady silence in the restroom. Muffled female conversation could also be heard, the slight laughter and bickering amongst a group of women approaching the bathroom. Your fight or flight instinct was triggered, and to avoid any more awkward encounters you rushed to the nearest stall and shut the door- fully prepared to wait out the faceless group of female colleagues.

You heard the restroom door swish open before the women burst in, chatting and giggling with their heels clicking against the tile floor. One of the unknown females made way to the stall beside you, the others presumably hovering by the mirror if the sudden comments about their appearances were anything to go by. You quietly sighed and pulled out your phone again, ready to drown out their office politics talk.

Only for the conversation to somehow steer towards you.

“Did you see her?”

“Of course, I was very confused, to be honest.” One of them replied. “I mean….look at Jungkook and you just assume that whoever he’s with is drop-dead gorgeous, and she was just eh.”

“Yeah, she was pretty plain. What was her name again?”

“Y/n.” A third voice cut in, this one eerily familiar to you.

You glued a hand over your mouth to silence your gasp.

It was Sana.

“Did he ever mention her around you? You are the closest to him in the office Sana, and we didn’t even know he had a wife until tonight.”

“No, I didn’t know until tonight either.”

“What?! That’s insane. Literally all the time he spends with you: getting coffee, buying you lunch, driving you home after late nights, and he conveniently never mentions that he has a wife at home?”

“That’s suspicious. But I guess if I had a dog like that at home, I’d never mention her either.”

Cruel laughter from all of them.

The toilet from the stall next to you flushed, then opened as a new voice entered the discussion while she approached the sinks.

“It’s more than suspicious. He doesn’t even wear a wedding ring. And he’s so close to Sana but never mentioned that he’s married?” A pause as she washed her hands. “It’s obvious what he’s trying to do. Jungkook is trying to have an affair with Sana.”

Although this exchange was extremely hurtful to you, you felt somewhat relieved that you weren’t the only one to see what your husband was doing.

A pause hung in the air as none of the women spoke for a minute, they were willing to gossip but apparently outright declaring the obvious was a step too far for them.

Eventually, one of them chimed in with their own observation.

“Can you blame him? Sana you’re the most beautiful person in the office and you look so good next to him anyway. Much better than that cow Y/n.”

Another round of obnoxious laughter that broke your heart.

“C’mon guys. We gotta head back. Jungkook is gonna get anxious if Sana is away for too long.” Someone teased.

They all murmured in agreement, heading towards the exit as a group before one stopped them with a final question.

“Wait, Sana. If Jungkook does want to have an affair with you, what are you going to do?”

Although you couldn’t physically see Sana, you practically heard the smirk on her face as she said, “Who says we already aren’t having one?”

--

Needless to say, you ditched the Christmas party almost immediately after the bathroom incident.

You texted Jungkook a white lie about Emily struggling with Hugo, although a good father would’ve known something was up because your son had never given babysitters any trouble before. But luckily, your husband also wasn’t doing so hot in the dad department either.

You would’ve felt bad for not telling the truth if the truth wasn’t so fucking embarrassing.

“Hey, I’m gonna go home to cry like a little girl because I caught your coworkers talking shit about me. Oh, and also your little girlfriend accidentally let it slip that you’ve been fucking her this whole time. K talk to ya later!”

You grimaced at the thought of actually sending that text.

Sure it’s what that cheating bastard deserves, but you just weren’t emotionally ready for that fight yet. Especially after the night you endured, you needed some time to pick yourself up and figure out what to do next.

Divorce was the next logical step, but you were financially dependent on Jungkook. If you moved out and took Hugo with you, where would you two stay? How could you afford to be a single parent? And if Jungkook were to try to fight you for custody or the divorce in general, you would need a damn good lawyer. Unfortunately, lawyers weren’t cheap, especially one that stood a chance against Jungkook and all his wealth.

Your shoulders sagged with the imaginary weight of all these burdens.

When you entered the high-rise penthouse that you called home, you were surprised to see Emily anxiously pacing the foyer in waiting for your arrival.

“Hey, how was Hugo?” You greeted politely, already opening your clutch to pull out the agreed-upon salary.

“M-Mrs. Jeon, I swear I tried to have him in bed by eight like you said but he’s being stubborn and said he won’t go to sleep until you come back and read to him-” The teenager rushed out all at once, clearly nervous that you would scold her.

You held a hand out to stop her rambles, using your other hand to give her the money, and offered her what you hoped was a comforting smile, “It’s okay, Em. Thanks for doing this on such short notice. Why don’t you run home now and try to enjoy your Christmas Eve?”

Emily looked relieved that you weren’t mad, gratefully taking the cash before grabbing her jacket and shoes to make her exit. “Thanks so much for this Mrs. Jeon. Merry Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas.” You farewelled while walking the young girl out, locking the door behind her.

You turned around and proceeded down a long hallway that led to the bedrooms, stopping at the door beside the master room which belonged to your four-year-old son. You opened it to peer inside, the familiar deep blue walls with painted-on sea creatures greeting you back, swiftly reminding you once more of Hugo’s obsession with the ocean.

Your son was bundled up in a twin bed so big that it practically drowned him, his small frame barely being recognizable in the large fish-printed duvet wrapped around his tiny frame, only his small and adorable face peeking out to stare right back at you.

Hugo was essentially a carbon copy of Jungkook. At first you were somewhat resentful about this, how was it possible that you carried a baby for nine months and he came out with absolutely none of your features? But after a while of watching Hugo grow up and come into his own slowly but surely, you were pacified by the conclusion that while he may look exactly like his father, his personality and heart took after you.

“Dumpling, why did Emily say you were giving her a hard time and wouldn’t go to bed?” You asked gently, sitting by his side and petting his black hair.

‘Dumpling’ was a nickname you chose for Hugo since you first found out you were pregnant with him. It stemmed from your sudden pregnancy craving to eat dumplings and nothing else, you once even going two straight weeks surviving off the food. There were many times where Jungkook had to bribe you into eating other things, playing on your guilt for not providing your baby all the nutrition he needed. But even now ‘Dumpling’ still stuck, if Hugo’s chubby cheeks were anything to go by.

“Mommy, I-I’m sorry but-” His big doe eyes looked up at you in teary guilt, “I really needed you here. It was a nece-necess-”

“Necessity, bub.” You finished for him, grinning at his attempt at a big word.

Part of you wanted to scold the boy for being difficult, but you didn’t have the heart to. Lately, Hugo has been more clingy to you than ever before. Yet it was practically impossible to punish him because Hugo has always been a good kid and you knew deep down that he didn’t act out unless there was something else going on. You suspected that it had something to do with the lack of his father’s presence that forced him to hold onto you like his life depended on it.

“Well try not to do it again, okay? Emily is a nice girl and she’s just following my orders when she tells you to go to bed.” You said, ducking down to peck the crown of his head and continue running your fingers through his hair.

Hugo nodded in understanding but ultimately stayed silent, basking in your cuddles.

All was silent for a passing moment, and while Hugo enjoyed his mother’s touch, your mind gradually returned to the turmoil that was your marriage.

A sudden epiphany struck you and bit your lip as you debated an idea.

Should you expose your son to your future plan?

The victim of any divorce has always been the children who were left behind. And the last thing you wanted to do was blindside Hugo. Perhaps you should play the hypothetical game just to see where your son’s head was at? It went without saying that Hugo was closer to you than Jungkook and you were more of a parent than your husband. But still, every kid deserved to have a say in their parents’ divorce.

“Bub, how would you feel if….it was just me and you?” You hesitantly inquired.

“What do you mean mommy?” Hugo titled his head in bewilderment and craned his neck to look back up at you.

“What if me and you went away to live together?” You clarified.

“Like a va-vayca-”

“Vacation? And no. But forever. Just me, you and no one else.” You whispered, as if Jungkook himself would storm in and catch you planning your escape with the toddler.

“Oh.” A pause as you could practically hear the mechanisms in his four-year-old brain trying to work out the logistics of what you just proposed. “Okay.”

The nonchalance in his youthful voice had you taken aback.

“It’s a really big decision, Hugo. You wouldn’t mind...not living with daddy anymore, right? You would hardly ever see him, dumpling.”

The boy shifted to lean more of his body against you, essentially resting against you with his head on your chest as he said, “But it’s like that already, mommy.”

Your heart broke.

You wrapped your arms around him and pulled him closer to you, feeling a maternal instinct to comfort and protect.

“Okay Dumpling. I need you to promise me not to tell daddy what we talked about.”

“”Kay.” Hugo yawned and closed his eyes, inhaling deep breaths of your scent and beginning the process of falling asleep. “When do we leave?”

“It’ll take some time, bub. You start school in a few months, so mommy will try to find a job while you’re there.” You told him, not bothering to try to explain the concept of a lawyer or apartment deposits on top of that. “But we can do this. It has to be a secret but you're my partner in crime.”

“Like spies?”

You chuckled, “Yeah, like spies. Promise to work with mommy in utter secrecy?”

You held up a pinky, one that Hugo grasped with his own.

“Promise.”

Author’s Note:  So....A while ago before I took my long ass hiatus, I did a poll for which yandere story I should write next.  The Unsaid Vow won but that was around the same time that shit hit the fan in my life.  Recently was scrolling through my notes on my phone and found some of the plot points for this story and I needed a lil break from QQ.  Plus I know so many ppl were hyped for this concept so....Here ya go lol.  This is kinda short but it’s just a set up, Chapter one’s plot line will start a few months after this when Hugo will start kindergarten and Y/n will actually start looking in to jobs, lawyers and apartments.  Also I’m sorry but I’m really bad at writing for kids lol, and I absolutely refuse to write that gross ass baby talk so just pretend your son is a lil genius okay? Also srry Once but I needed really pretty girls to be villians in my story so yeah, Twice girls in here aren’t likable but aren’t reflective of how i actually feel about them lol.

Big thanks to @sushireads​ once again for creating the cover art for this fic.  They literally are becoming my go-to for fic art.

And my beta readers @bigbuffjoonie and @mustardpop​! They beta’d for QQ and I came to them really early about this fic.  They were with me since the beginning and have given me advice with creative choices to just simple grammar.  They easily could’ve leaked the first draft of this too but they didn’t and kept it secret for a while.  I was really insecure about getting out of my comfort zone with this plot but they really guided me.