#feel sad about lizzie with me everyone

[slashmagpie]

spotify wrapped-77?

Send me a number 1-100 and i will try to write a short fic based off whatever song that corresponds to in my spotify wrapped replay 2023!

“Oh, hello.”

The newcomer blinks. One ear twitches. Ren turns towards her, eyes wide, startled. 

“Lizzie?”

“It’s good to see you again,” says Lizzie, and she’s only a little facetious, only a little bitter.

“Where… are we?” Ren looks around. It’s dark. The void stretches on and on forever, flecked with specks of light.

“Dead,” says Lizzie dully.

“Oh.” He blinks, rubbing at his head. “I don’t know what happened, I was—I was Tango, for a bit, I think? And now—oh. Oh, I feel sick.”

“Yeah, it’ll do that to you,” she says, flicking a nail. “How’ve you been, Ren? I haven’t seen you in a while.” She stares at him through narrow eyes.

“I haven’t seen you either, my Queen,” he says with a bow. “It’s been far too long.”

She snorts. Hugs her knees to her chest. “Don’t make me laugh.”

“What did I do?”

“My Queen,” she echoes, mocking. 

“Well.” Ren hesitates. “You were.”

“Not anymore.” She reaches up, swipes her wrist across her eye. She’s not crying anymore, though. There are no tears to wipe away. It just burns. “Now I’m dead!”

“Are you okay?” Ren asks.

She laughs. “I died. It wasn’t even for my task! It wasn’t even cool! I just—I looked at an enderman—why wasn’t I wearing a bloody pumpkin?! I spent so long trying to convince Cleo to wear a pumpkin, and then I—agh. It was embarrassing. I’m an embarrassment.” She buries her face in her knees. “Don’t look at me.”

Ren is quiet. She thinks, for a moment, that he’s moved away, but then there’s a hand in her hair, and a voice saying, “I don’t think you’re an embarrassment, my Queen.”

She snorts. “Everyone else does,” she says lowly. “I died before Jimmy. Do you know how embarrassing it is to die before Jimmy? Everyone says he’s cursed! I’m just—I’m just—incompetent. And nobody even cared.”

“I care,” Ren says softly.

“You’re dead too.” She scowls into her skirt. “You weren’t even really alive.” 

“...That doesn’t mean I don’t care.” 

“You didn’t.”

“What?”

“Last time—Last Life—you—you didn’t want me anymore. And then I died. And this time—I was alone again. I thought I worked better alone. Certainly worked better than all that nonsense with the Fairy Fort. But—here I am again! Dead!” She laughs. “Stupid game. I shouldn’t have played.”

“I know the feeling, my friend.” He settles down, sitting beside her with a sigh. “It’s okay. You don’t have to play again if you don’t want to. God knows I don’t.”

She steals a sideways glance at him. “How come?”

He grimaces. “Do you know how I died last time?”

“No.”

“Grian dropped dripstone on my head. I didn’t even see it coming. It was—it was a one in a million chance, my dude, the luckiest shot in the world, and he made it. Everyone thought it was so cool. Nobody thought that it was sad that I was dead. Well, except for Grian, who thought it was sad that BigB died because of me.”

Lizzie tilts her head to the side. Peers up at him. “That must be pretty embarrassing for you, huh,” she says.

His ears flick back against his head as he sags. “So embarrassing.”

“Well…” She straightens up a little. Rubs at her eyes again. Says, “I suppose if someone must see me in such a state, it should be someone who’s just as pathetic as me.” Offers him a small smile.

“Aye, my Lady,” he says with a laugh. “What a pathetic pair we make.”

[theminecraftbee]

"This isn't fair!"

She's frustrated to realize there are tears in her eyes. She wipes them away angrily.

"Why does this keep happening to me, huh? I finally agree to come back, and, and, and it happens again! This isn't fair!"

FAIRNESS HAS ALWAYS BEEN A STRANGE HUMAN CONCEPT TO ME.

"You shut up," Lizzie says. "No, no, it's--this isn't fair!" she says, staring down at the battlefield. "I don't want this! This isn't fair!"

PEOPLE SAY THAT SO OFTEN. I HAVE NEVER UNDERSTOOD. I AM NOT FAIR. I AM NOT UNFAIR. I SIMPLY AM, AND AM UNCHANGING.

"Not dying, you idiot, although that's not fair either, it's just--it's just--what about me?"

WELL, YOU ARE DEAD.

"I know that! I know that!" Lizzie says, watching as Jimmy, delighted, crows about changing the signs on his grave. "I know! But what about those assholes, huh? This is the second time! The second time they've done this! I'm the one who's dead! I died! Me! It's me! What about me?"

I SEE. I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT HAS TO DO WITH FAIRNESS.

Lizzie screams, wordless and frustrated and angry and so, so sad for reasons she doesn't know how to explain to an anthropomorphic concept, anyway. She's just--everything wells into tears in her eyes again, which is only more infuriating. She doesn't want to be crying. She doesn't want to be crying.

"Everyone was sadder about Bdubs, last time," she says. "And, and everyone's going to be happier about Jimmy, this time. Why did it happen again? It's not fair. It's not fair! What about me? I died! I died, I'm dead, why don't you say something about me for once? Why do I have to, to keep being in the background of other people's--I died! I'M DEAD YOU GUYS! I'M DEAD! LISTEN TO ME, I'M DEAD!"

THEY CANNOT HEAR YOU.

"I know!" wails Lizzie. "I know! They aren't listening, anyway. I know."

I WOULD SAY THAT I AM SORRY, BUT I DO NOT FEEL THAT EMOTION.

"Of course you don't!"

I AM HERE FOR ONE THING ONLY.

"And it's not--"

FAIRNESS IS A HUMAN CONCEPT I HAVE NEVER UNDERSTOOD. THINGS ARE, OR THEY ARE NOT. THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO CHANGE THAT, PERCEIVED JUSTICE OR OTHERWISE.

"I'm the one who's dead," mutters Lizzie. "It's me. I'm the one who's hurt. It's me."

YES. YOU ARE DEAD. AND IT'S MY JOB TO TAKE YOU TO THE END.

Lizzie is not sure how long she is silent, standing there, periodically wiping furious tears from her eyes, until Death takes her by the shoulders and leads her away. She would like to imagine someone looks up at her in that time. She's not sure anyone does.

[pacifymebby]

*slides a crisp $20 bill across the table* peaky boys reaction to the reader that gets excited any time they see them, like they literally light up with excitement, even if they just saw them~

Hiiii sorry this took so long and i hope i manage to do it justice ♥️

Tommy

🌿 He's alarmed by it at first, almost thinks its a little silly... Suspicious is perhaps the right word? Tommy is used to people performing for him, pretending to be something they're not, acting the way they think he wants them to act... Usually because they want to get something from him.

🌿So yes, at first he is cynical, he doesnt believe for a second that you're really so pleased to see him... Usually when Tommy enters a room that room falls silent, people shiver, people's mouths run dry... conversations go unfinished... a shadow passes over all he passes by.

🌿 Unless you're in that room... if you're in that room everything is different, your eyes light up, your whole demeanour brightens, you practically jump out of your seat and rush to him... you clasp his hand in yours and practically drag him to your table desperate to tell him all about your day and hear all about his... it's like he's the sun in your sky and he doesn't know what to think, only that somehow someone must have put you up to it, or perhaps you yourself are playing a game of mistruth. Attempting to deceive him...

🌿 The thing is he can't work out any alterior motive, theres no reason as far as he can tell, that you would want to cosy up to him or flatter him like this... And if you did, well, he can't help but think you'd be smarter than to think squealing and throwing your arms around him every time you see him is the best way to go about that...

🌿 But he can't bring himself to believe you're innocent, that you're being genuine... he wants to, really desperately wishes he could join you on your apparently care free sunny side of life but he can't... it's not like he hasn't been burned before...

🌿 So he's stand offish with you at first, always telling you to settle down, smirking at you, he almost seems a little embarrassed about the attention you're throwing at him... which is unusual for him because it's not like he isn't used to women flirting with him.. perhaps it's that this isn't flirting in the way he's used to.

🌿 It's warmer, more innocent. There's no games being played, not the way he's used to... and he gets very irate about it, feels he has to nip whatever trick you're trying to play in the bud immediately.

🌿 So the next time you rush to him throwing your arms around him he snatches your wrist in his hand and drags you away, into a lonely room, he sacred you with his sudden temper, the angry way he traps you between him and the door, finger pointing accusingly in your face...

🌿"Right miss l/n whatever this is eh, whatever you're playing at it ends right now you hear me? Right now..." you don't know what to say to him, speechless with fear, eyes wide and filled with tears as you stare up at him in shock. "Wh...what are you..." you start stuttering, your heart thudding in your chest, your stomach heavy like it's filled with stones so sad and disappointed because you love him and it looks right now like he hates you...

🌿 "Don't give me that love, I know you want something so you can drop the act... Whatever you want right, you do what everyone else does, you book an appointment with Lizzie and you book your turn!"

🌿But the minute the cold words leave his mouth he regrets them, the way you resolve falters, the way your eyes brim with tears... Your whole demeanour changes, you shrink away from him, as if it hurts to touch him. You can't look him in the eyes and he wonders if perhaps that hurts too now. Because you don't just love wildly, you hurt wildly too and he's wounded you mortally with his icy words and his cynicism...

🌿He knows straight away that there was no act, that you'd been nothing but genuine from the start. That perhaps your actions might have seemed a little childish, but that ultimately there was no harm in them. Or in you. You are just a very sweet girl who, for some god only knows reason, really loved him...

🌿 "Fuck I'm sorry love..." he sighs reaching for your hand, deciding better of such a halfhearted gesture and instead engulfing you in a warm embrace, holding you tight and secure, rocking you side to side, eyes closed, savouring every second he had with you in his arms. When he kisses your hair he breaths in your scent, looks down at you with these deep apologetic eyes, "Sorry love, forget myself sometimes... Get so wrapped up in me own head that I forget who I'm dealin with sometimes..."

🌿 "Its been three days since I saw you last.. I just missed you Tommy, I'm sorry I won't..." you begin to tell him you won't do it again, about to apologise for everything but he cuts you off, finger to your lips all, "no, no don't do that, please don't tell me you won't do it again love, please don't think I don't enjoy seeing you smilin eh? You keep smilin whenever you feel like smilin eh love, promise me you'll do that for me?" he says kissing your cheek, your nose, all over your face as hes talking to you, holding your cheek in his palm, his eyes so serious when he looks into your eyes waiting for an answer...

🌿 You're so confused, ten seconds again he looked like he hated you and now he's holding your face in your hands, smothering you in feathered kisses.

🌿"But..." you start your little frown would be adorable if he didn't feel so guilty for putting it there in the first place..."but tommy I don't understand you just said..."

🌿"Never you mind what I just said eh, I was wrong... Doesn't happen often sweetheart but sometimes, perhaps.. I am wrong." He says stroking your cheek, brushing your tears away... Because now that he knows this isn't a trick, now that he knows he can trust you, that this is safe, he's relieved to let his guard down, relieved to trust you the way he's wanted to for some time, relieved he can finally kiss you, taste a little of that sunshine you seem abundant in.

🌿He will make you promise him that you'll forget what he told you, that you wont stop smiling, and when you do he'll kiss you quickly on the lips and pat your cheek, "very good angel, good girl."

🌿Because the truth is that his cynicism before was just a defense mechanism. He hasn't seen someone light up the way you do for him for such a long time and he didn't want to believe you could really be so excited to see him, because believing that fact meant accepting that you really do love him, that in many ways you depend on him, that there are plenty of opportunities to let you down.

🌿The way he sees it, if he can make you that happy he can also make you twice as sad and he's seen that now too, just now when he almost broke your heart...

🌿In truth he loves your sweet ways, the way you rush to hug him, to hold his face in your hands and kiss him, without a care for who may be watching. He loves to see the light in your eyes when your whole face glows with joy thats because of and intended just for him.

🌿 Tommy is for the most part, a difficult man to read, he's reserved, always calm, his poker face was mastered at birth... You on the other hand wear all your feelings on your sleeve. Even if you wanted to hide how you felt about something you're pretty sure you couldn't. Somewhere between you and tommy there should be balance, you should even one another out. That isn't what happens however. If anything the contrast makes the both of you seem more extreme. You look giddy and wild in comparison to Tommys quiet, still nature. He looks dead behind the eyes, ice cold and unfeeling in comparison to you.

🌿 But it works, ultimately you need someone calm and he needs someone like you to remind him that there are still happy people in the world. That he still brings someone joy and meaning in life.

🌿 He does kind of wish you'd develop some kind of poker face though because he knows it isnt good for people to see you behave so childish and naïve, it puts you at risk. Makes you look like an easy target. Someone as sweet and pure as you sticks out like a sore thumb in Small Heath and he knows that every other bad man, men like him, out there will see you as an opportunity. Because sweet girls like you are the hardest to ignore when they cry. They'd make you cry to get to him.

🌿But what can he say, theres so much dark in the world and not enough people know joy, someones gotta let the light in from time to time and its good that you do.

🌿So when you run and throw your arms around him, burying your face into his chest he will wrap his coat around you and hold you just as tight. He'll let you smother him in kisses and embarass him with your relentless affection and he'll just chuckle, kiss you back and, eventually say something like "settle down now love, you'll make our company jealous..." He's only teasing you, always lighthearted, he'll never make the mistake of being harsh with you again.

🌿But he will lower his head and whisper a reminder to you, that there are peolple watching, that sometimes its better to keep your feelings concealed.

🌿He won't stop you though. After that first time when he scared you, sapped the life from you with two short thoughtless sentences, he has made an effort never to try and reign you in like that again. You're his sunshine girl and that's the way he wants you to stay forever.

🌿 In fact your happy go lucky excitable nature makes him more determined to protect you from the world. He doesn't ever want you to lose that joy, never wants to see you tired or worn out or disappointed. He lives every day with one thought heavy on his mind - he has to keep the sun in the sky for you. Can't ever let you feel the rain.

🌿One day you pull away having smothered him in your usual affections in front of his brothers and Ada and when you see the faintest tint of pink in his cheeks you smile coyly, "my my tommy shelby do my eyes deceive me or is that a blush I see before me?"

Alfie

🐻 Alfie Solomons is a grumbling old eccentric, a tired out, miserable, sharp tongued misery old git and you... you the most lighthearted, melodramatic, delightful girl he has ever met...

🐻Doesn't know what you're so happy about but he knows he'd be a fool to suggest you wipe that giddy little smile off your lips... because that giddy little smile is the prettiest smile he's ever seen and knowing it's all for him makes him feel so hopeful.

🐻 The first time it happened - the gasp, the jump, the gleam in your eyes as you threw yourself into his arms - he was floored by the shock of it... He isn't used to positive attention from women at the best of times, especially not pretty young women like you... Even if you have been sweet on eachother for a little while, even if you have been seeing one another in secret for several weeks...

🐻 So when you saw him across the street at the market and let out a gasp, waving to him from across the road before darting in front of a cart to throw yourself into his arms he almost fell over, wasn't prepared, couldn't believe his eyes... Couldn't believe the speed at which you came barrelling towards him...

🐻You took him completely by surprise but he caught you, just about. The two of you nearly fell over in the bloody road but he caught you, his big arms closed around you, squeezing you just as tightly as you held onto him. He wrapped you up in one of his bear hugs and chuckled at your enthusiasm. He was confused but he wasn't going to pass up the opportunity to hold you nice and tight. To show off to the whole street that you were his girl and you were ecstatic to see him...

🐻 "Now," he chuckled, smiling into your hair as he cradled your head to his chest and pressed a kiss to your temple, "I'm wondering my little ziskeit, what exactly all that was about yeah... You coulda got yourself killed runnin into the road like that and forgive me poppet but I ain't entirely sure I understand what was so exciting to you that you forgot yeah, to use your street smarts yeah?"

🐻 "Sorry Alfie..." You shrugged his worries off so easily, that girlish smile on your lips unfailing, it was almost infuriating and yet, it was far too pretty for him to really get annoyed at you... So a peck on the lips is what you get for being so thoughtless, a "you're lucky you're so sweet y/n... Or I might get cross with you..."

🐻 He is always having to remind you he isn't as young and strong as he once was, that you've got to be careful with him, you've got to slow down... You've got to think of his old and failing body yeah, "I'm fallin apart ziskeit and all these theatrics yeah, they're speeding up the process so just... Take a breath right and settle down..." When he sees your simmering pout he softens again, drops the grumpy old man act and coos to you, "I know poppet I know, you're just happy to see me right... God knows why yeah, god knows why..."

🐻 He's always teasing you about your excitement, reckons it's cause you're young, tells you "not to worry ziskeit, you'll grow out of it..." But he hopes with his whole heart that he's wrong, that you never will lose this bubbling joy.

🐻 And though you think he's simply teasing you, playing that grumpy old man act, he really isn't... Deep down part of you knows he really does wonder why, doesn't understand why you love him the way you do, why you're always so happy to see him, why you don't mind showing the whole world how happy to see him you are...

🐻 And that makes you all the more stubborn to show him that love, to shower him in melodramatic affection every time you see him so that he can't ever forget or try to ignore the fact that whilst you might be his little ray of sunshine, he's the one who puts the sun in your sky.

🐻 He's the only one who can make you that happy, the only one who can spark that level of excitement in you, leave you all head in the clouds giddy whenever you see him but he's also the only one who's able to calm you, able to soothe your excitement and get you to settle down. Knows exactly how to talk to you to get you to come sit in his lap and enjoy a little peace and quiet with him.

🐻 There's this look he gives you when you're beaming at him across the room and he can see that you're bursting at the seams with excitement to be bundled up in his arms, it's this look which says "come here then," but which is stern enough to remind you not to run, remind you to be careful.

🐻 And when he squeezes you in one of his bear hugs and kisses your forehead he talks soft and low, so calmly to you that although he can't settle your ever fast beating heart he can slow those wild thoughts of you down just enough to see you let out a little sigh and nestle into his cosy embrace. "That's better ziskeit, you even remembered to check the road this time see, a good girl, that's what you are darlin..."

🐻 But he does think youre adorable when you get excited and he feels so proud that its him youre excited to see. Honestly it's hard to keep up his grumpy, cold-hearted mobster act with you around relentlessly brightening his day.

Arthur

🍂 Honestly he is completely baffled by you, he just can't get his head around it... what the hell are you so excited about? No one ever looks happy to see him... It really puzzles him and he spends days getting frustrated, trying to get to the bottom of it, asks his brothers whats "the matter" with you, asks his sister who just laughs at him, says "good god Arthur if you can't even get your head around that there really is no hope for you..."

🍂 When Ada does spell it out for him "she likes you you big idiot..." He blushes, gets even more confused and a little embarrassed... That isn't usually how girls show him they like him.. they're usually far more coy, they usually try that sophisticated flirting, they usually want him to buy their drinks and then fuck them senseless in the toilets...

🍂 Then he's flustered wondering if that's what you want him to do to him...

🍂 He'll go bright red and Ada will slap him because she knows exactly which pits his mind has wandered to... "For fuck sake Arthur if you used your head half as much as you use your cock you might not need me to spell these things out for you..."

🍂 The next time he sees you he's nervous, he can't stop wondering if you're going to do that thing you always do again? If you're going to make that noise... The little squeal of excitement you made last time, it was shortly followed by a skip, your eyes wild as you called out to him from across the room. That little giggle of glee when you waved to him and then appeared ever so suddenly by his side...

🍂 And when you do he's unnerved, he's paranoid... He wants his sister to be right but this is just so unusual for him... People are usually fucking terrified of him after all, he's nothing but Tommy Shelby's big brute, the rottweiler as he's often referred to.. how can a girl as blissful as you like him when she's heard the rumours about him... With his reputation how could anyone possible be giddy, head over heels happy to see him?

🍂 So he gets all in his head about it, starts thinking it's some kind of joke, perhaps his brothers or one of the lads set you up to this as a prank, perhaps someone is secretly trying to make a fool of him. The disappointment is tangible and he swallows a lump in his throat as he looks at you again, waving to him from across the room. Are you really playing a trick on him? Is this all to humiliate him?

🍂 When he turns away, hardly even smiles at you you're left confused and a little disappointed. Your heart sinks and you get up to join him at the bar where he's lined up three whiskeys.

🍂 "Are you upset about something Arth?" You ask, your touch on his arm sending sparks of hope through his heart, "you look all gloomy..."

"Aye that's me eh, gloomy... Not like you eh, a little ray of fuckin sunshine ain't ya..." he doesn't smile when he says it, in fact he almost sounds bitter and you bite your lip a little uncertain.

"I'm just.. happy to see you Arthur... I know it's only been a few hours but... Well I kissed you didn't I..." you admit.. you're not exactly embarrassed to admit it but you do feel a little silly now that you're spelling it out to him.

🍂 "Did... Did my..err.. did my brothers put you up to this or somet love?" He's feeling pretty embarrassed to ask it but he wants to know because if you are he wants to stop being teased and if you aren't well, he wants to kiss you actually.

🍂 And when he asks you laugh, your giggle lighting you up, lighting him up too when you shake your head and tell him not to be so daft, when you can't stop giggling at what a silly thought that is. "As if I'd want to help your brother's play a nasty trick on you you big idiot..."

🍂 He can't keep the grin off his face, lighting up immediately, his hands on your hips dragging you in close to him, holding you tight in his hands when he chuckles along and says "eh well in that case then," before planting a rather passionate kiss on your lips.

🍂 Arthur loves to layer the physical affection on thick, even in public, he adores how much you adore him, adores seeing you light up with excitement, adores seeing you happy... But what he adores most, and what he can't get his head around even now, is that it's him that makes you that happy. Him the monster, the rottweiler, that old brute... He's the person who makes you light up like the sun and the night sky all at once. He can't believe his luck.

🍂 He's a very full on, brash man and when you rush to him with excitement he matches your energy the two of you taking over a whole room with your adoration for one another. He really doesn't care about appearing "soft" he'll just sweep you off your feet, snog you to high heaven and dance you round the room...

🍂 Even if the last time he saw you was five minutes ago, the two of you still light up for one another.

John

🌼 John finds your melodrama highly entertaining. He loves to watch you light up whenever you see him. He's a very playful lover and he will match your energy 100%.

🌼 He won't even be taken back the first time it happens. You'll squeal and he'll see the joy in your eyes, one look at you and he'll know what you're going to do before you do it... so when you come running and jumping up into his arms he'll catch you and spin you round in a tight embrace.

🌼 Won't put you down but will keep you wrapped around him in his arms for as long as possible talking to you about your day and telling you all about his... well everything he can tell you.

🌼 However because you were always like this with one another it was very hard for you to tell your true feelings for one another. Your over affectionate friendship was often described by both of you as "like a brother/sister to me..." and so it took you both a long time to realise you were in love. When you did however because you were already so affectionate with one another you fell very easily into your new dynamic. The only difference being that now when you run and jump into his arms he meets you with a deep and affectionate kiss.

🌼 He absolutely adores your excitable nature, he's a big kid at heart and he loves that there's someone else in the world who is carefree and wild enough to wear their emotions on their sleeve the way that you do. His brothers warn him about you telling him to be careful, Tommy even suggests that a girl like you who throws her affections at people so wildly, is perhaps not necessarily loyal, but John defends you to the ends of the earth. And definitely comes close to hitting his brother for suggesting something so improper about you.

🌼 And so although it takes you awhile to win over his family, John trusts and adores you from the very first time he sees that wild ecstatic light sparkling in your eyes. He's always coming up with little nicknames for you, calling you his Little Firecracker, telling you you're like a bottle of champagne. He likes to call you fizzy because you're always bubbly and bouncy with excitement.

🌼 He actually takes a little while to work out that he's the cause of the excitement. Because he doesn't see you when you're not with him (obviously) so he just assumes that the way you are with him is the way you are all the time. When he finds out from Ada that she's never seen you act that way before with anyone, John gets the most smug and wide grin on his lips.

🌼 He's really proud of himself for being able to light you up like that, he thinks your smile is gorgeous so to be at the center of that... Well he can hardly keep that smug grin off his lips.

🌼 And then he won't stop teasing you about that fact, he'll catch you in his arms and then kiss your cheek and then he'll say something cheeky like, "so I heard a rumour flower, that you're never this excited to see anyone else... That true?"

🌼 But you're not exactly embarrassed about your feelings... If you were you would probably exercise some self restraint in public instead of squealing and jumping up to rush to him every time you saw him. So you just tease him back all, "duh John Shelby... You must be daft if you think this is how I treat all my friends... I'm almost offended... What do you take me for?" You'd ask until he was backtracking, actually blushing and apologising because of course he doesn't take you for that kind of girl... He was only trying to wind you up.

🌼 Still he won't stop teasing you and he loves to wind you up by mimicking your little squeal and the way that you flap your hands when you see him sometimes, he never teases you in a malicious way though and he's always quick to reassure you that he's only teasing, that he loves your little "noises"

🌼 You get to know the sound of his footsteps coming down the street or hallway and you're always waiting at the door for him ready to throw your arms around him. You look forward to seeing him everyday and on long days where he's been particularly busy and the two of you have been forced apart from one another for too long you both look forward to snatching the other up in your arms and talking their ear off, telling them all the things you've thought of and saved up in your head just for them.

🌼 And oh my god, where the kids are concerned... Your excitement + John's excitement fuels the children's and they're even more energetic and wild than usual. You make for one affectionate, untameable family...

🌼 One thing John is sure of is that he never wants to see you lose your sunshine streak and so he tries to keep all the darkness in his life as far away from you as possible. He never wants you to be worried for anything and keeps Peaky Business far away from you. He would protect you and the children and your innocence with his life, never wanting to see you lose your innocent, sunny disposition.

🌼 he also treasures the fact that in dark times he always has his ray of sunshine to look to, always has you with your glowing smile, you his little sunflower who thinks the world of him and is proud and content to depend on him... It does him the world of good to have your relentless optimistic kind of love, means he is never able to forget all the goodness in the world because you're always right there ready to push your way through a crowded room to throw yourself into his arms.

Bonnie

🍀 L o v e s it.

🍀 Bonnie wouldn't change you for the world. He thinks you're absolutely magical, the way you light up every time he meets your eyes across the room, the way you're completely unafraid to show how much you adore him, how you're head over heels giddy and in love with him.

🍀It makes him feel so special, makes him feel like he's the center of your whole universe and he is... you tell him that all the time.

🍀 At first he is certainly surprised by it... it's not that he doesn't believe himself to be worthy of your affection or your praise, it's that no one's ever been quite so confident in their adoration of him before... and well, he just wasn't expecting you to come barrelling across the room into his arms like a bloody cannonball...

🍀But your adoration makes him feel so special and he flourishes and thrives with all the attention you give him. So in fact he encourages it, he'll be the one calling out to you across the field, opening his arms for you to come running and jumping into them. He'll be the one sweeping you up off your feet and dancing you around.

🍀He's a very physically affectionate lad and he will take any excuse and opportunity to get his hands on you... Loves to let you tackle him with a hug only to pretend to be taken by surprise, to let the two of you go stumbling back and falling into the grass together, rolling around so that he can pin you down and kiss you, tickle you with your hands above your head.

🍀You're practically inseparable, you're always with him before and after a fight and Tommy Shelby finds it very frustrating that when he wants to talk tactics with his fighter, you're there hanging off Bonnie's arm, kissing his cheek or wrapped up in the lads arms whilst Tommy's trying to tell him how to throw the fight.

🍀You're his biggest cheerleader, shouting and cheering him on during matches.

🍀But wishes youf be a bit more careful about pushing your way through crowds of roudy men so that you can get backstage to see him.

🍀Obce he won a fight and the second the time bell rang you had lept to your feet, crossed into the ring and had thrown your arms around him squeelling delighted and excited into his neck. And he'd been exhausted and sore from the fight but he couldn't do anything but grin and hug you back pleased that everyone could see how excited his beautiful girl got to see him.

Isaiah

🐀 Put aside his charming nature, his brash flirtations for a moment and have a think if you ever saw this lad display actual joy/excitement/affection for anyone before... I think behind that flirtatious nature he's actually quite guarded, a little preoccupied with keeping up appearances...

🐀 So the first time he really experienced your heart on sleeve, flourishing affection, how lackadaisically you let the whole room know how happy you were to see him, he made the mistake of being too cool for you... he hardly even smiled at you, saluted you from across the room despite your beaming smile and how you'd waved him over... he just nodded to you, a small smirk and that deadpan salute.

🐀 It made your high spirits plummet like a stone. You didn't know what to make of it. You'd never been embarrassed to flaunt your feelings before but he made you feel like you should be... that public rejection, his standoffishness, how casual and cool he'd brushed you off, making you second guess whether hed really meant any of the sweet things he'd said to you when you were alone. Made you wonder if you were just another of his one night stands... someone he could forget now he'd conquered you.

🐀And the thing about you is that though you may show your affection and excitement freely, you might feel adoration to the extremes.. you don't let yourself grow wild and dramatic for just anyone. Once someones shunned you like that, once they've left your heart aching and your eyes teary, you don't give them the opportunity to do it again.

🐀 So the next time you see him in public you don't even look at him and when he comes to talk to you you act like you don't know him at all... so now he knows how you felt... now he's sorry and wondering what happened to his little ray of sunshine...

🐀 Too stupid to realise that it's his own cold actions that have lead you both to this moment and when he asks you what's the matter he seems genuinely concerned about you and you can't believe his foolishness. You say plain and simple, "so it's true what they say about you is it... there really is nothing between your ears..." he frowns, confused because a) he doesn't know what you're talking about, he's got a whole face between his ears duh... and b) he can tell that whatever you're implying is spiteful, that you're trying to hurt him.

🐀 "Do all your thinking with..." but when you say that he gets it, the penny drops and he finishes your sentence.

"With me cock..." he smirks but there's no light in his eyes and he begins to understand, realises he's going to have to do a lot of making up to you, a lot to convince you that you're more to him than just a casual fling.

🐀 "For fuck sake love," he sighs when he sees tears in your eyes because your wild emotions have finally gotten the better of you and you don't have the energy to keep this cold mask on. You're not a cold person, you're a person with so many feelings and you feel them in extremes.

🐀 "I was so happy to see you.." you sniffle thinking back to the moment he'd broken your heart with that, "stupid fuckin salute... I wanted a fuckin hug and you fuckin saluted me..."

When you say it he can't keep the smirk off his lips, can't help but chuckle because it sounds ridiculous... as in it makes him sound like a fucking idiot.

🐀 When your tears get thicker and you frown not understanding what's funny he raises his hands in surrender, "I'm laughing at myself mousy, laighin at myself for being such a fuckin idiot..."

🐀 He really does feel bad for having upset you like that, he had no idea how much his actions would effect you but he sees now that you really do wear your heart on your sleeve, that when you were smiling at waving at him it really was because you were that happy to see him.

🐀 So he promises you, he'll never salute you ever again. Takes your hand and kisses your palm, holds it there as he holds your gaze and says it again, "promise, I Isaiah Jesus will Never salute you ever again darlin, never..."

🐀 And though he does still get a little embarrassed from hard to time - because after all it's difficult to look like a hardened criminal when youve got the sweetest girl in the world hanging off your arm - Isaiah keeps his promise. He's never cold to you again.

🐀 He grows particularly fond of your over the top reactions to seeing him, grows to love the sound of your excited little squeak because he knows it means that any second now you'll come skipping into his arms and he'll have his beautiful girl by his side.

🐀He will definitely try to reign you in and pacify you will his cooler forms of affection in public. Not because he doesn't love you just the way you are, he does... he just knows he has a reputation to uphold and that if you're going to be his girl you have a reputation to uphold too. You can't appear too soft or his enemies will eat you alive and use you to get at him

🐀 So although he's never cold he will give you lots of little reminders to be calm, to be cool, lots of "not now darlin, settle down, come here sit in my lap" it gives him an excuse to get his hands on you and keep you close whilst still managing to look cool about it.

🐀 It doesn't half boost his ego and he definitely gets quite smug about it, if Bonnie, Michael o'r Finn try to tease him about how soft he's gone he can always just shrug his shoulders, "sounds like you're jealous lads... Just cause you've never made a lass make those kinda sounds..."

🐀 Has to admit that when he hears that happy little squeak you do, his mind wanders to other activities, can't help thinking about how cute your other noises might sound...

🐀 and when you're in private its a totally different story. Behind closed doors when he's not worried about what others will think of him, when he isn't trying to be the bad boy he will match your energy, he'll be sweeping you off your feet with all the passion in the world.

🐀 Definitely gets a kick out of mimicking your little squeal.

Michael

☘️ Michael was raised with manners, he was raised in a household which gave great weight to the ability to conduct oneself "properly" stiff upper lip, reserved... Women who wait to be addressed before speaking to their superiors etc..

☘️ That's nothing like you... In fact you're quite the opposite. You don't believe in withholding happiness, you don't believe in hiding your joy, your excitement. If someone makes you happy you should tell them, show them every opportunity you have..

☘️ And though Michael may be taken back by your somewhat unignorable adoration for him, there's nothing he can possibly say to change your ways. You love him and you're going to express that freely and sometimes even wildly...

☘️And this does get under his skin, he can't hide his awkwardness, the way you sometimes embarrass him in public when you get so excited you can't contain your delight in seeing him... When you walk into the bakery in the morning and he's there to collect something for his mum, you walk in behind him and as the doorbell rings he recognises your gasp, the squeal of delight...

☘️ he says a silent prayer everytime eyes rolled up to heaven hoping you won't be quite as loud, quite as dramatic as last time. But as always you throw your arms around him, nuzzle into him and squeeze him so tight... So quickly of course that he hasn't even had a chance to put his arms round you, he's just stood there like an awkward plank of wood in your embrace.

☘️ He thinks you make him look silly... Unprofessional, not to be taken seriously... He worries that people will start to get the impression he isn't as tough or as cold as his cousins. That he's an easy target...

☘️ Will absolutely tell you you need to calm down if you're in public, he'll be so stern about it too. He won't exactly shrug you off coldly and he won't dismiss you because that would make the whole thing look even worse, how rude it would be... it would make one impropper act all the more uncooth and embarrassing...

☘️ So he'll always welcome your affection but he won't match your energy, instead he'll wrap his arms around you, hold you tight but not squeezing you to death the way you are him, and when he kisses your cheek he'll speak quietly but commanding.

☘️ "Now now love calm down, don't cause a scene eh... you can tell me all about your day later eh... for now though eh just you hold my hand and keep that pretty little mouth of yours shut..." he'll kiss your hand and then keep a tight grip on you. It's his way of letting you be close to him, letting you feel a little affection in return whilst still remaining proper and polite in company.

☘️ but secretly he loves your dramati, romantic ways. Because that's all it really is isn't it, romantic? You're like one of those melodramatic french girl stereotypes, you can't simply hold your lovers hand, you must throw your arms around him, sigh like a Juliet, hold his face between your two hands and kiss him like you're breathing him in. Like his kisses give you life... And Michael loves that...

☘️ He loves feeling loved. Literally who doesn't.

☘️when he's had a shit day at work, when he feels like no one respects him, it feels so good to come home and have you hit him with all that affection and adoration. Having you waiting at the door ready to throw your arms around him...

☘️It makes him feel completely adored, gives him a purpose, makes him all the more determined always to return home to you every night...

☘️You wait in the window looking out for his arrival home and then you go running down the drive to meet him, shouting his name, your cheeks rosy flushed from your excitement as he stops at the edge of the path, opens his arms for you to jump up into them. It's his favourite part of the day because it makes him feel so special, so important.

☘️ Michaels a generally serious, slightly melancholic boy, there's often a shadow which hangs over him, be it the pressure of living up to the high expectations he has for himself, or the shadow left over from a turbulent upbringing, the traumas he went through as a boy... There's always some kind of weighty preoccupation on his mind but you, you're a little ray of sunshine in a dark and fucked up world and he adores you, you're the light breaking through the cracks and he's so grateful to have found you. Your excitement and your drama are precious to him, he wouldn't ever want you to lose those traits and so he's fiercely defensive of you..

☘️ once at a family meeting you arrived late, rushing to Michael's side, you hadn't seen him all day and were excited to see him so youd thrown your arms around him all "I missed you so much," and Tommy grew impatient. He snapped at you, said "Michael for fuck sake would you control your damn wife..."

☘️ you were of course shocked by Tommy's sudden temper but what shocked you more was there whereas Michael would usually put an arm around you and remind you to settle down, save the excitement until you were alone, this time he stood up, glared at his cousin across the table...

☘️ "Tommy you might be the head of this family but if you ever speak about my wife like that again I swear I will..."

☘️ And suddenly it's you linking your fingers with his tugging him back to you, whispering to him asking him to calm down...

Taglist

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[lazyalani]

ciel Phantomhive x reader where hiss/o is comforting after the (big reveal in the manga) and they tell him that it does t change how they feel and that they’ll always be here for him

| Ciel Phantomhive × [GN!Reader]

| You with me

| hurt/comfort, angst, our ciel needs a hug :( so much feels, setting is not specified, focused on the main plot of this request so dont mind any other detail, no specific place nor chapter in the manga, just generally after the reveal on the manor, reader is a midford, our ciels real name is astre here, agressive to comfort

| Summary: In which Ciel's greatest fears have come, but his partner is there, so he'll be fine.

| Kuroshitsuji Masterlist

| Main Masterlist

but when i wake up i see

Your footsteps echoed through the place, hurrying somewhere. Where? You didn't know. Afterall, you didn't know where Ciel-- no, the Earl, was.

Your mind was in a haze. So clouded, so dazed. So full of thoughts. So full of unanswered questions. Your chest was heavy. Your emotions were in a rampage, all agressively mixing and fighting with each other. Anger, because he had lied, sadness, because he had lied, mistrust, because they had lied, relief, because no one was hurt, and love, because even after everything, you still loved that lying piece of shit. But could that love be enough ti make up for all those lies?

You want to scream, shout, yell, and curse at him, at them. How dare they lie to you all of you.

When they had escaped, the confused and steady anger you felt during the reveal bursted out into flames. The nerve to lie and then just leave.

Had everything just been a lie to him them?

Ciel Phantomhive had been arranged as your fiance and Astre Phantomhive was arranged for Lizzy.

You were enraged. How dare this boy fool you, his brother's fiance of all people. You were enraged at yourself. How dare you feel something so tender, so gentle towards your fiance's brother, moreso, towards the person who had lied to you.

You were supposed to be happy knowing your true bethroted is still, right? But when you looked into his eyes, all you felt was chills. You shivered, a cold, almost painful brush crossed through your spine. You didn't see your Ciel. You didn't see the boy you had loved so much when you were kids. You didn't even see a small ounce of sadness, not even anger.

All you saw was a scheming boy.

And when you had seen the yard about to arrest Ciel Astre, all you had felt was fear. No, not fear of him. Fear for him.

you with me

You didn't know what possessed you to take a reckless action after they had fled. Was it answers? Maybe.

When they had fled, everyone stared the real Ciel and turned to you. Lizzy had even called out before you ran out of the manor, determined to follow them. Then you returned to the Midford estate to ask for help from Edward.

He had been reluctant, very hesitant, as he always has been when it comes to his sisters. But he seemed to couldn't have resisted the pathetic look on your face, so desperate. He had promised to cover for you and not tell anyone so long as you remained safe and come back after a day.

"Your happiness may be important to me, but my priority is your safety, sister." He had told you, hugged you, and kissed your forehead before you left. You couldn't deny it made you feel better, a lot calmer. A brother's comfort truly is so different. So warm and calming.

and you say,

Your brother, as an heir, had a bit of control on your family's military forces, although a little, still something, as there are still knights loyal to the heir, his own knights. He had lent you some of his knights to help you find traces of them.

During your search eith the knights on a forest, Lau had found you lurking and had offered to bring you to them. So you sent the reluctant knights back and told them to inform your brother of your status. You know you could trust your brother.

So here you are, speeding through the hallway of somewhere Lau had brought you. You saw someone turning through the corner. Sebastian.

You both stopped infront of each other for a moment.

"Milady, I--" He bowed before you cut him off.

"Get out of my sight."

He bowed again and left. He wasn't even surprised you were here. Had Lau told them already? So that bastard had let you roam and get lost around this place while he informed them? You made a mental note to threaten him later on. It seems like these people forgot your place in the society just because you had been kind and tolerated their actions back then.

You took a swift turn to the corner the butler went through and stopped when you had seen him sitting on a couch.

Elbows resting on his knees and hands on his face, seemingly distressed.

He better be. You couldn't be the only one who is tormented too much by this situation.

He called out your name, knowing you were there after hearing you exclaim at his butler.

"as long as i am here,

"Was it fun?" You started. You could feel your calmed down anger bubbling up again.

He said nothing, still hiding his face.

"Was it fun playing with us? Was it fun playing with me?"

Nothing.

"Oh, so now you can't look at me in the eyes. But when you said those lies, you were even smiling." When you told me you cared for me. You thought bitterly.

"I was stupid. I was fool to believe you truly cared for me. I was a fool to believe you would actually do those things for me. But then again, I trusted you because I thought you were Ciel, didn't I?" Oh, yes, you did know where to hit hard, because he flinched.

Yet, you didn't feel satisfied, instead, you felt guilty. Why?

"Did you have everything planned from the start? Putting yourself in danger for me, did you have a back-up plan incase we both couldn't have been saved? All those gifts, those actions, all those words..... lies." You scoffed, feeling your tears coming.

He started rubbing his forehead. You almost wanted to scoff again, you were the one feeling everything here, why was he the one getting a headache? Did he find you annoying?

"Why? Why did you lie to me? Why did you lie to us? Why did you have to go through all those lies? To manipulate us? To manipulate my feelings? You played with my feelings. You fucking playing with me, Phantomhive!" You stomped infront of him with tears in your eyes, demanding an answer.

You heard him murmur something unclear.

"What?!"

"It wasn't a lie."

no one can hurt you"

"Now you're telling me you didn't lie, do you really think I'm that stupi--"

"What I did for you wasn't a lie!" He suddenly stood up and exclaimed.

You were take aback and stepped back. You frowned. "You--"

He took your wrist and pulled you closer to him. Now he was looking at you in the eye, he was enraged. The audacity to be enraged. You wanted to point it out and tell him to let go when he spoke again.

"The things I did for you weren't lies! You can scream at me for pretending to be my brother, hell, yell at me for taking his place as an earl, but don't fucking tell me the things I did for you were lies!" He exclaimed.

You looked away from his piercing stare. "Then why?" Your voice cracked.

His grip on your wrist softened.

"Why would you pretend to be someone you're not?" It was pathetic. How all of your anger disappeared the moment you heard his words. You were so gullible, so vulnerable against him.

He sat down again, letting go of your wrist.

"Would anyone have cared if I said it was me?" His voice was small.

don't wanna lie here,

It broke your heart.

"Would anyone have paid attention if I told the truth? Would I have gotten enough power to keep the Phantomhive name, the honor, the business, alive? Afterall, I'm just some sickly, weak, twin of the heir." He was clenching his fists so hard, you were afraid he was going to draw blood and hurt himself.

So you took his hand in yours. "I would've." You kneeled infront of him, just holding his hand and staring at his visible eye. "Lizzy would've, brother would've, mother, father, aunt anne. We would have cared, Astre."

And he let his tears fall at the sound of his name on your lips. His grip on his own skin softened.

but you can learn to

"You might think so little of yourself, but there's more to what it seems, Astre. You didn't need to lie to us. We would have cared. We do care." You cried and kissed his knuckles. It was heartbreaking how he could think so little of himself. How he could think so little of what he thinks all of you think about him.

if i could change the way that you see yourself

So you look at him in his eye, hoping he would receive the feelings you were conveying to him.

When every lie was revealed, you were angry, so furious, clouded by everything, confused by everything. So many questions, too many unanswered thoughts. You hated yourself for still wanting him despite your real fiance back, despite the lies, despite everything. You hated yourself for feeling something, everything.

But you were willing to burn for him.

You guess being stubbornly inlove runs in the blood.

He stared at you with the same look he gave you before the reveal, during your times with him, after you broke through his cold facade, and shooked his head.

"It doesn't matter, my brother is back--"

"And what of him? He's not the one I love."

"He's your betrothed."

"But he isn't the one I want!"

"You loved him."

"But he isn't you!"

It made him break. He breathed heavily and rested his head on your shoulders. "Why would you even want me?" His voice broke. "After all these lies, after everything I've done. Why would you want me? How could you want someone like me?"

You took his face on your hands and pressed your forehead to his. "Why wouldn't I want someone like you?"

He shut his eyes tightly, trying to keep in the tears but it only made them fall, even through under his eyepatch, you could see his tears.

You brushed his tears with your thumb. "You protected me, you cared for me, you saved me, you smiled for me, hell you did things you didn't want to for me, you loved me. How could I not feel the same?"

you wouldn't wonder why you hear

"I lied to you."

"And I don't care. Atleast, not anymore. I admit, I was so angry at you. For lying to me, because I thought you only did those things to save your own skin. But you stupid asshole, I'm weak when it comes to you." You cried as he let out a cracked chuckled, now he was the one wiping your tears.

"See? I made you cry again." He said, staring at your face. He called out your name, "you truly don't deserve someone like me. You could have someone better, more stable."

You pressed your lips on his forehead. "But I'm here with you, aren't I?"

He nodded, holding your hands to his face. It was warm, safe. "Yeah, you're here."

He thinks he can do it. No, you're here, so he'll do it.

they don't deserve you

[samlizzy71]

Can I be honest? I like your art, I think it's really cute and pretty, but I also hate it because it makes me drown in envy and self-loathing. I'm a trans lesbian who would really like to be in a relationship, but I just can't seem to make it happen. I'm Avelyn looking for my Elizabeth, but it feels impossible. I'm introverted, clocky and socially awkward, so why would anyone, especially cis lesbians who probably have plenty of better options, ever want to date me?

I'm not really sure how to reply to this, and I'm sorry I can't tell you anything to make you feel better other than... Who knows? Just like Avelyn, who thought no one would ever love her, you may find your Elizabeth someday. Avelyn is introverted and socially awkward, and Elizabeth thought she was a boy when they met, but in the end, they are immensely happy, and it's not something that just happens in fiction. A lot of people have sent me messages telling me about how the story of Lizzy and Lynn is so much like the one they had with their partner with whom they share a life now, and I can't help but feel immensely happy for them, and it shows it can happen, it's possible. So, who knows? ^^ Maybe you'll find your Elizabeth someday, and I wholeheartedly hope you do. Not everyone is looking for looks or an extrovert x) You just need to meet the right person, and it happens when you least expect it. Also, I understand the envy x) I feel a lot of envy myself when I see people who had the chance to transition at an early age or perfectly pass, I even feel envy of my own OCs x) and yet they are my way of coping with the depression my dysphoria and experiences have caused me. Still, I want to see others be happy and have all the things I wish I could have. You can feel happy for others when you see them smile, and you can feel sad at the same time while wishing you could smile as much as them, and maybe that's what should motivate us to try to make the world a bit better, not only for ourselves but for others, to be the person we wish we had in our lives. Maybe we didn't have some chances, but, why not give them to others? After all, sometimes the people who have suffered the most because of something are the ones who will do anything so others don't have to go through the same. Avelyns are looking for their Elizabeths, but sometimes we can be an Elizabeth in another Avelyn's life, and I don't mean romantically or anything, but just, being kind and helping each other. Things will get better.

[hippolotamus]

Fuck It Inspiration Weekend 🪦

tagged in various combinations by @tizniz @dangerpronebuddie @eddiebabygirldiaz @shipperqueen6 @watchyourbuck @wikiangela @bi-buckrights @daffi-990 @diazsdimples

OK! First, everyone please blame thank Di for putting me in my Bobby Nash feels. It’s a short ficlet like thing I expect to actually stay short (for once!)

How long has it been? How many years since mahogany, cherry or spruce? Velvet or Satin? Granite, marble or bronze? Lilies, orchids, forget-me-nots? How long since Ann Margaret Nash was laid to rest, finally allowed to be at peace with the choices she made? Had to make.

How much time since Charlie last looked at Bobby, both of them drowning in their grief? Weighed down with sadness, anger, disappointment, regret and too much pride to admit they wanted to maybe talk about repairing the rift that started the day Bobby chose to stay with Dad.

How many lifetimes between Bobby offering a weak ‘I’ll be in touch’ and his brother’s equally placating ‘Sure, Bobby’.

np tagging @actuallyitsellie @epicbuddieficrecs @loveyouanyway @a-noble-dragon @mountedeverest @fortheloveofbuddie @weewootruck @saybiwithme @bidisasterevankinard @ramonaflow @taketheplanspinitsideways @spotsandsocks @theotherbuckley @stereopticons @kitteneddiediaz @mrs-f-darcy @drowsy-quill @your-catfish-friend @thekristen999 @filet-o-feelings @underwaterninja13 @lizzie-bennetdarcy @rainbow-nerdss @steadfastsaturnsrings @queenmabcreates @inell @jesuisici33 @rmd-writes @shortsighted-owl @queerbuckleys @elvensorceress @bucksbiawakening @giddyupbuck @hoodie-buck @indestructibleheart @ladydorian05 @lemonzestywrites @monsterrae1 @statueinthestone @slightlyobsessedwitheverything @the-likesofus @thewolvesof1998 @wildlife4life

and anyone else who wants to 😘

[thelaughtercafe]

Matters of the Heart

Tea Type: Milk Tea

Potential Triggers: Brief mentions of intentional verbal abuse, and a raised hand though no contact is made. A carriage accident takes place. Ciel is 21 at the start of this fic and ages as it continues!

Pairing: Ciel Phantomhive/F! Reader

Length: 1.1k+

Summary: This is an AU where the demon contract never happened, so Ciel simply grew up without his parents; cynical and detached from the world. He'd already chased Lizzie away long ago, and he intended to do the same to you. This was how it was meant to be. What he deserved.

His parents’ death had changed him. Everyone expected that, to some extent. But what they didn’t expect was the way Ciel grew cold and distant.

He shut down entirely; let no-one in. His engagement was called off with Lizzie after a few years of cruel words. He was always especially cruel to her.

She deserved someone better than a broken man such as him.

She was happily married now.

He had not attended, merely sending reassurance the Phantomhive name would continue their working relationship and support her and her family in whatever endeavors they needed.

What he didn’t expect to have to do…was be thrown into another engagement when he turned 21.

You were…different from Lizzie that way for sure. His cruelty didn’t make you burst into tears. Nor did you even flinch when he raised a hand to you. He never would’ve gone through with it, but most women fled with the fear of abuse.

You lived mirror existences as the date grew ever closer and one day when he was in a particularly sour mood…he snapped when you brought him tea.

“Why are you still here? Are you some kind of masochist, foolish girl!? I have done nothing but treat you badly and yet you refuse to leave and shower me in kindness I am not worthy of!”

Your smile dropped a moment and then it widened despite the sadness within it.

“…I stay for two reasons, Mr. Phantomhive. One, grief is a powerful emotion. One that can and will consume every part of your being like the vilest of diseases if you allow it to. You wish to never let anyone close. To never allow your heart to feel love again for fear of having that love turn to the agony of loss and grief. I am a patient woman. And I know this anger you show, this cruelty and bluster…is merely a facade. A mask you wear so you may feel safer with me at a distance. I have already been through my cycles of grief and decided I will allow my heart to love again, despite the pain that might ensue. But I can not make you do the same. You will come to your own conclusion when and if you are ready to.”

Ciel was…in shock. You’d never spoken this much, all but locking yourself away in the library and only offering him gentle kindnesses expected of a wife such as bringing him lunch when he forgot to eat and the like.

All he could say was.

“And the second?”

Your smile widened.

“Just as grief is powerful, so too is unflinching kindness and empathy.”

You turned on your heel and began to leave but paused at the door, voice lightly teasing.

“Thank you for the new shipment of books, Mr. Phantomhive.”

You slipped out to the sound of him shouting after you that it was only to keep you far away from him, but you knew if you looked back he’d be blushing.

He did not change all at once. Of course he didn’t. You did not expect him to.

There were still full days of silence. Full weeks even. There were days where he reminded you of a wounded animal, lashing out at every little thing in fear of how you may harm him.

But something quite miraculous happened when you had to meet with your parents, about 3 months after your explanation and a month before the wedding.

As you entered your parents’ estate, Ciel initiated physical contact, putting a hesitant barely-there arm around your waist. When he caught your shocked gaze and the blush on your cheeks he flushed himself and yet did not release you.

“…Don’t get any ideas women. It’s just to keep up appearances around my soon-to-be family-in-law. A mere formality.”

You beamed and quickly looked to the side to blink the burning in your eyes away.

He was healing, whether he realized it yet or not. Not only had he not cared for formality before.

That was also the first time he’d called your parents family.

The meeting went well, your mother gushing over how close you seemed to be and your father happy Ciel was well-versed in business and could keep up with him.

The drive home was not silent, but instead, Ciel led the conversation, talking about your parents and how ecstatic they were.

You were wed before he was fully finished healing but you weren’t worried. He had started and that was enough for you.

It happened rather suddenly. You’d both been out shopping, getting clothes and furniture and all sorts of things now that you would be moving in “so you couldn’t complain later”.

As you were crossing the street, a carriage came careening down it much too fast. Too fast for you to act.

Your husband did, pushing you out of the way with a cry of your name.

The ensuing crash was deafening but you cared not for anything save your husband, frantically kneeling over his body and sobbing as you heard people rushing to get medical attention and the police.

They showed up quickly once they heard the Phantomhive name. They tried to insist on you returning home to wait but you refused to be separated from your husband.

The ensuing days were…tough, to put it lightly. You cried enough tears to fill a lake at his bedside as you waited for him to wake. Your parents were out of the country on business so you were all alone.

The doctor had said he’d done all he could and it was up to Ciel if he lived or not.

You tightly held his hand and spoke to him.

“Please, don’t leave me. I know you must be ecstatic at the chance to see your parents again but I need you here Ciel. Please. We have such long lives ahead of us. I beg of you, don’t make a widow of me. I-I love you.”

You lowered your head to sob into the hands holding his and were startled at the feeling of someone rubbing your head before his familiar voice filled your ears.

“…You finally said it. You’ve been holding in your feelings all this time while I acted as the pinnacle of immaturity in a vain attempt to push you away.”

His blue eyes shone with remorse and genuine care.

“Will you forgive me, my love?”

You nodded breathlessly as you laughed and hugged him tightly.

He chuckled as you pulled away.

“I never want to lose anyone I care about again. And so I will fight to protect all that I do. I hope you will do the same for me.”

You laughed.

“Till death do us part, Ciel, I will ever remain at your side.”

He flushed and looked away with a huff, reaching out expectantly and smirking just slightly as you held his hand, though he pretended to be stoic as ever, clearing his throat.

“Yes, well, see to it you do.”

[hybbart]

Since jimmy boy is one of your favs (atleast im pretty sure he is) do you have any underrated pairings/duos with him that you really like? This doesnt have to be characters btw it can be whatever. My fav underrated pairing is jimmy and sneegsnag. I cant put into words why i like it so much they're just so silly and goofy i love it. Alternatively i also really like seeing jimmy and fwhip bickering its hilarious

Not really? Nothing underrated at least, i don't think. I like ranchers and I like his sibling dynamics with Lizzie, Grian, and Pearl. I like his friendship with Martyn cause Martyn seems to be the only one able to tease him and make it... tasteful isn't the right word but we'll go with it. Not-too-much about the jokes.

Him and Joel have a very bros type relationship that reminds me of my brother and his best friends when they're playing cs:go tbh. Scar and him also have a nice friendship, it's quite similar to Grian's dynamic with him but not quite as charmed, more so thinks he's cool. He... I know it seems almost too perfect to be true but he really does treat Scar like his older sibling's friend who's also his friend by extention in that weirdish sorta way siblings bffs are family friends, y'know? That's my take on it. Jimmy is very good at making himself everyone's little brother.

His weird relationship with Etho is also funny. It feels very much like Grian and/or Joel gave him a primer on Jimmy and his bullyableness before introducing him and he very easily fell into the role of teasing him. He just likes to sneak up on him and pull a prank or scare him and leave before they can have any deeper interaction.

Impulse kinda feels the opposite. He feels like he was taught to bully Jimmy by Grian but isn't very good at it. I imagine Jimmy activates the helpful dad in him, literally making games where Grian and Joel have to say nice things about Jimmy and giving him reedstone tutorials and going easy on him when the rest of the southlanders are teasing him. (And then inadvertently dealing the biggest blows when he doesn't mean to) I imagine if he teamed up with Gem, Pearl, and Grian the collective power of their sad puppydog eyes could get Impulse to do literally anything.

Him and Skizz are quite cute, fellow failures going easy on each other and supporting each other, in the few interactions they've had. (Which unsurprisingly leaves his approval at 3/3 for the Roaving Pack Of Dads Squad)

Thats really all the ones I can think of right now tbh.

[technovillain]

So I spent a bunch of time wandering around postgame and wanted to share some findings.

some mail with some funny addresses lol. unclear who they're from but the helmut one has a stamp of a young bob on it hehe. collector's psychonauts stamps are kind of canon, there's ones of hollis around too.

in Sasha Nein's office there are two of these framed on the wall. So he's been Employee of the Year twice, good for him. The small text unde this name is really funny too, it reads "this goes to the guy who is the best at doing the thing that is the thing of which you could be doing for a year" What an accomplishment!

Volunteers are needed for Whispering Rock! I can see this easily becoming the next big "Junior Psychonaut" job instead of the busy people like Sasha, Milla, or Morry being in charge. Someone vandalized the poster (":P This place suxs!") and my bet is easily on Lili Zanotto. Because who else would be drawing Harold on a sticky note? (The styles seem to match between those two things lol.)

Also who are the Psi-Tutors posting ads?? If it's an agent then I have no guesses, but if it was posted by an intern, I'm almost certain it would be Adam.

Intern dorms canon!! They watch stupid movies together.

Who do we think drew this grumpy little Hollis on the board and who do we think was doing the fancy math equations? Feels a little Norma and Lizzie to me. Not to mention, which two interns have this longstanding vandalism tic-tac-toe battle going on?? Any combination of them is hilarious as an answer to this for me lol.

"La Jolla Taco Museum 9/12/76" which is apparently an unexplained phrase from the corner of a whiteboard in a developer's room at DoubleFine in 2011.

Not sure what percent of people have explored the remains of Otto's old mountainside lab (which was right beside Bob's greenhouse) but the hyperhyglaciator is actually there! Long abandoned and overturned. The lab appears to have suffered an electrical explosion and not much remains. There are a few bottles scattered on the ground near the edge of the explosion site, however. And considering it's right next to Bob's greenhouse and it's next to the old hyperhyglaciator, there's some sad implications there.

Also I feel like everyone knows about this vandalism but...who do we think did it? It feels like intern behavior but then again some of the Motherlobe workers seem to love gossiping about Sasha and Milla too...

Please use this post to think about the characters doing silly things around the Motherlobe. All of these questions I asked in this post are highly important for all of you to figure out, alright?

[communicationthroughlyrics]

Our Fire When We're Together, Mixed With Paranoid Manners

You were able to break free, and finally start your dream. But will the one who matters most make it to the most important night of your life to date? Will she see you the same way?

A/N: Not sure how I feel about this one. Just kind of meh. Let me know what you think. Not proofread.

TW: Mentions of suicide, Anxiety, angst, and fluff. Not smut in this one, sorry :]

You sat on the closed lid to the toilet in your bathroom, stripped down to all but your underwear. Today was a huge day for you. To say you were stressed, was a colossal understatement. You had to get yourself ready for arguably one of the largest days of your life- next to marriage, and you had to do it without your best friend, whom had swore to you that they would be there for when this moment had happened. But of course, in typical fashion your life had decided to throw a massive monkey wrench into that plan, and shit had literally hit the fan while she was out of the country for work. Admittedly, you were proud of how you had handled this up to now, because going through a divorce while starting your dream business was no easy feat. Of course, your best friend, Lizzie, assured you that she was just a phone call away- but that was nothing compared to the calming presence she had when she was around you. You, in your ever so stubborn fashion, had opted to handle all of this yourself, not wanting to bother your best friend for fear of coming across as selfish. Part of you knew that her current fling wouldn’t appreciate you calling constantly, as they were not a fan of how close you and Liz were. 

There had always been a tension between you two- you both attended NYU, which is where you had met the blonde, while she was going to school to pursue her budding acting career- you were going to get a business degree after attending a technical school to open your dream automotive shop, building the cars of peoples dreams. There had been an ‘after mid-term’ party that one of your friends had dragged you to, you had wanted to stay in and relax after the strenuous study schedule you had been on. Your friend had convinced you that one night out wouldn’t be the end of you. That is where you met a green eyed, blonde standing by the bar in the corner of the room, chatting up the ‘bartender’ as you had approached. You instantly recognized her from one of your statistics gen-ed classes, and you both picked up small talk, before walking to a quieter corner of the room. You talked all night, before exchanging numbers and continuing your conversations over the span of the remaining semester. You were amazed at how she always came to you with the most doe eyed, expectant expressions on her face, she was never sad to be around you, and vice versa. You both soon realized that you were each others calm, and could talk to each other with no expectations, no judgement, and a mutual respect that made everyone around you envious. Many of your friends became jealous of how easily she fit into your life. But you shrugged it off. You enjoyed her company. Only one of your fiends knew how you really felt- your best guy friend, Jason. He knew that your feelings were a little bit deeper than ‘best friends’, that you really wanted to be with Liz, but he respected that you didn’t want to ruin your friendship over feelings you were certain weren’t reciprocated. 

As time went on, you both grew insanely close, and one fateful night you have both been at a party celebrating graduation, and you both were more than intoxicated. You were most definitely the more shy of the two, but given a healthy dose of liquid courage you were known to be a totally different person. You both had woken up in your apartment, sharing the bed naked. You both agreed at that moment that nothing had happened, but deep down, you knew that it wasn’t a ‘nothing’  kind of thing that had happened. But, against your better judgement, you told yourself to push your feelings down, ignore what had happened that night, and continue the relationship as it was. You watched her date guy after guy, further convincing yourself that she will never see you as more than a friend. You began drinking a little bit more, blaming your college years on building your tolerance and not knowing what to do with your new found time after graduating. Liz had moved back to California, jumping right into the acting business, and having her career pick up almost immediately. You were happy for her, you were. You just wished that she could also be happy with you. In the time that you had gotten to know her, she had introduced you to her family. They were hesitant to let you in at first, but knowing how the media had treated her family, particularly the twins, it was understandable. 

Over time, you had won over her family, and they accepted you as one of their own. Now that Liz was all over, you often spent time with Mary Kate or Ashley while you were in New York. They could see right through the facade you put on whenever the younger Olsen was around, and knew about your feelings towards her. Every breakup, they would encourage you to say something- you would refuse, not wanting to be a rebound, wanting her to feel better first, and not wanting to jeopardize the relationship you had built. Inevitably, she would find someone almost immediately after, dispelling the “rebound recovery” theory right away, but you continued to support her as time went on. 

What you had no idea of, however, was the late night conversations the blonde had with her older sisters, asking them why you didn’t like her the way she wanted, and why you had never capitalized on her failed relationships, swooping in the way she wanted you to, and finally asking you to be together. The day you started to date your now ex-wife, the scowl on her face was priceless. You made fun of her so much, mocking how jealous she was, without really truly realizing how she was, in fact, jealous. When you told her that you were getting married, she told you that it was a bad idea, but wouldn’t stop you. Everyone told you that it was a bad idea, but you ignored the warnings for the sheer desire and contentment you had to have someone, for once, to wake up to in the morning. You never once told your wife about your feelings for Liz, you didn’t dare to. You knew that would be the end of your friendship, and that would defeat the purpose of not saying anything. But- your subconscious had better ideas. Allegedly, your wife had found the diary you had written all your feelings in, the diary your therapist had advised you to start, and in that diary were your admitted feelings for your best friend, written in your hand, in blue and black ink. That coupled with you moaning her name in your sleep for a week straight, led to a confrontation about your feelings for the blonde. 

When she gave you the inevitable ultimatum, “It’s me or her,” you chose her, not your wife- arguing that it was a 10 year friendship that can’t just be tossed aside for some ‘teenage feelings’. That’s what has led you to this point. Sitting on your toilet in your single bedroom apartment, thinking over the last year. Lizzie only knows of what you told her- that you were getting a divorce because Lauren, the other blonde in your life, your ex-wife, had been downplaying your dream to start a custom car building shop, and told you to pick a more “conventional” career. It wasn’t wrong- your wife hated the career path you had chosen. The times you would come home covered in car filth, grease, and smelling like paint thinner were too much for her. Despite it being your true passion, she never really supported it. The first time you had built a car out of a friends garage, and entered it into a prestigious regional car show, she didn’t even go with you to showcase the build. But Lizzie did. She was so proud of the moment you won Best in Show, and took you out celebrating afterwards. 

After winning that show, you began receiving more and more requests for builds. This warranted you finally opening your dream shop. Liz and her family were proud of the progress you had made, and even helped you front the cost of a tiny shop in a small town upstate, giving you the space you needed to create your dream cars. Today, you received the finalization paperwork for your divorce from the greedy she-devil, as she was now called amongst your friends and family. She made sure to take everything she could from you in an act of spite- causing you to loose the small garage upstate, along with all the equipment, just so you could afford to find a place to put a roof over your head. You were also opening a new, larger shop. You had been working 2 jobs and saving all the money you could to pay for all the equipment and the space you needed, and today is the day you were supposed to open it to the world, with the unveiling of your latest build. 

“Y/N/N, you know I will always be there. When your new shop opens, I swear I will be there for you. That was your dream, that’s what you went to school for. I remember the nights we would sit and bullshit, and we would talk about our dreams. You have been nothing but amazing, and supportive of me living mine- it’s only right for me to do the same.” Lizzie rubbed your shoulder, reassuring you before she flew out for Hong Kong for filming. 

In all your talks in college, she had never really alluded to a dream car, necessarily. But she always referred to a car that had been in her family, that an uncle had sold, despite the family not wanting the car to leave the family. You had searched, and found such a car like she described, but it had been in rough condition. Knowing there was no way keep it original, you found a way to combine the car for what it was for the family, into something that Lizzie would drive. Or so you hoped. You converted the car to a hybrid electric system, as the engine had been completely seized form years of sitting. No one knew of what you built, but you invited the whole family to the opening, with the intention of unveiling this car to them, and giving it to Liz. But now, she can’t be there. 

“Lizzieeeeeeeee, you said you would be there for me. I can’t do this without you!” You groaned at the computer screen, currently on a video call with your best friend. You slammed your head to the table next to the computer, shaking the screen, and making the blonde laugh in response. 

“I know, hun. I have literally tried everything short of saying my entire family died to be able to take a small break to fly back. They are adamant on me doing these reshoots now, they can’t wait.” You groaned again, leaning back in the chair and letting your head fall completely backwards. You were honestly having a teenage tantrum. 

“Fine, Liz. You’re lucky I love you. But you owe me.” You fire back, ignoring the pang in your heart, and the desire to tell her you really, truly love her. 

“I know, Y/N. I love you, and I am so sorry I can’t be there for you this time. I hope I can make it up to you.”

You started the shower, finally willing yourself to get cleaned up and ready for the night. You had been at the shop, putting the finishing touches on the surprise for the night, ensuring that it was perfect. Once you were satisfied that you were clean enough, and had washed away enough tension to continue, you stepped out of your small shower, staring yourself down in the mirror. You were a ragged version of yourself, the stress of the divorce and the shop closing and reopening taking its toll. The video calls with Liz were few and far between, and you always sat in a darker room, so she wouldn’t worry about your now slim frame. You had honestly just quit drinking, and began working out, so you were now extremely toned in comparison to a year ago, but you were also a shocking 70 lbs. lighter, and you looked like a zombie due to the lack of sleep. The twins gave you a full ration of shit, telling you that they needed to make up for the younger sibling not being here to do it herself. If Lizzie saw you, you’re not sure what she would say. She had commented that your face looked weird, but hadn’t seen you entirely to know the extent of the last years dramatics and their toll on you. 

Dressing yourself in a tight fitting black button up Dickies shirt, rolling up the sleeves for your now tattooed arms to show, and a pair of dark blue jeans, ruffling your hair and applying your choice cologne, you deemed yourself as ready as you could be for the night. You made sure to pick a place where you didn’t live far from the shop, so you could easily walk to work. Tonight, however, you decided to slip on your helmet and ride the motorcycle everyone chastised you for. Wedging your aviator sunglasses in between your helmet and their respective position on your ears, you fired the bike up, and took off down the street. You bobbed in and out of the traffic that was present, pulling into the large warehouse parking lot, noticing that a few people had already shown up to help set up. 

You pulled the motorbike around back, and set the helmet on your handle bars, tousling your hair in the mirror of the bike, before using your keycard to walk into the back door of the shop. You don’t know how you had been so lucky, but the demand from your first car show has left you with an almost full shop of projects, not shortage of work in the foreseeable future. You were beyond grateful, but wished your best friend was here to see this. You see some tables set up at the far end of the shop, and a little soapbox type stage, you had requested this be built into the shop because you wanted an excuse to play music on random occasions and didn’t want the hassle of dealing with a bar. You were glad you had decided to cover the gift car, since the twins were both running around, setting up the food and drinks they had brought with them. 

“Y/N!” Ashley had now noticed your arrival, running over and jumping onto you, hugging you tightly. “I am so damn proud of you. This place is amazing, even though it is…nerdy.” She scrunched her face, she never understood the passion you held in cars, but never held it against you.

“Thanks, Ash. I can’t believe this is really happening.” You respond, kicking your feet on the concrete floor, looking down at your feet. 

“Oh, you best believe it, Y/N/N. We’re so proud of you, hun.” Your moms voice came from behind you, and you quickly turned on your heel, hugging her tightly. 

“Thanks, ma. I love you.” You whisper, before letting her go to mill around and see the projects you have to work on. Guests slowly started to filter in, some of the owners of the cars now being housed in your garage coming up and congratulating you, and inspecting different aspects of the shop, curiosity overtaking them to see where their dream cars will be built. The dull thrum of music came through the shops speakers, and you made sure to thank everyone that came through the door for coming by. You held out a glimmer of hope that one particular blonde would show up, albeit fashionably late, but she never did.

“I see you keep watching the door, Y/N.” MK bumped your arm, as you were staring out from the loft above the shop, observing the 100 or so people below milling around, talking animatedly about their projects. Your dull expression on a night that should be one of your happiest, she frowned at the lack of excitement on your face. 

“I miss her, MK. I wish she was here with us. It’s been almost a year.” You responded, swirling the drink in your hand, allowing your gaze to get lost in the swirl of amber alcohol within it. This was the first taste of any alcohol you had in months, so you decided to treat yourself.

“I know, we all do. But I know that this has been rough not having her here through everything you’ve been through the last year.” Her hand came to rest on your shoulder, gently rubbing it, calming you slightly. 

“Yeah, it’s been challenging, to say the least.”

“Y/N?” MK asked, turning her back to walk to one of the leather arm chairs in your new office. She straddled the arm, sitting on it and staring right through you. 

“Hmm?” You turned around, setting the glass on the railing as you gripped the railing behind you, leaning against it.

“Tell her. When you see her next. Put yourself out of the misery, and tell her how you feel.” Your eyes widened at her request, rather- demand. 

“I can’t, MK. You know that. She’s never going to see me the way I see her, and I can’t loose her as a friend.” She nodded, looking down at her ring clad hands that are resting in her lap. 

“Y/N. I can’t tell you how she will react, but I promise you, that you mean too much to her for her to let you go. You won’t loose her, Y/N. But you’ve got to tell her. You’ve been given a second chance here. Take it.” With that, she stood, grabbing the glass of club soda next to her, and walking back downstairs. You stalked over to your desk, sitting yourself down in your chair, and spinning around to the wall of photos behind your desk.

You found yourself getting lost in the stories behind each snapshot on the wall, replaying the visions that came with them. You weren’t sure how long you had been there, reliving the memories on the wall behind your desk, but a gentle hand on your shoulder quickly brought you out of your trance, making you jump slightly. 

“Shouldn’t you be enjoying everyones company, Y/N? I believe they call it, ‘business networking?’ ” A familiar tone came from behind you, and you flew out of your chair, throwing yourself in the direction of the voice you had craved to hear all night. 

“You said you couldn’t come tonight. I thought you were still in Hong Kong.” You whispered into her neck, not letting her go for fear she would suddenly disappear. “I missed you, Lizzie.”

“I missed you more, Y/N. I promised I wouldn’t miss this. But I wanted to surprise you.” She smiled as you pulled away finally baring yourself to your best friend, who had been absent from your present life for the last year. She was dressed in a simple black tee, blue jeans and sneakers- but to you, the simplest of outfits on her made her look stunning. She gave you a once over, frowning at your current state. “My god, Y/N, you don’t look well. You’re skin and bone compared to when I saw you last.”

“Uhm, yeah, but I’m ok.. I lost 70 lbs. Between the stress of the divorce, and building this place, handling all the upcoming work, and building the project down there, I haven’t really been myself, Liz. Especially not without my bestie around.” You showed her a small smile, nudging her arm. She frowned slightly at your admission, shaking her head. “The only thing that kept me going was… that project.” You hesitated, wanting to disclose that the true reason you kept going was her. 

“Y/N, you have to take care of yourself.” She stepped closer to you again, grabbing your arm, rubbing it up and down, calming you instantly. Her viridescent eyes looked straight into yours, and you honestly found yourself getting lost in the seas before you. “Am I going to have to tote you around with me, take you everywhere I go so I can make sure you’re ok?” She laughed, lightly slapping your arm.

“Actually…” you smirk, laughing as her jaw drops and she hits you harder on the arm. 

“Ass!” She laughs, grabbing you arm and pulling you back in for a hug. 

“Well, Liz…you’re just in time for me to go down and show everyone my extra special secret project.”

Her eyebrow raised, and you swore that you could’ve died just then. “Extra special secret project? Are you 12?” She chuckled, shaking her head. 

“Wha? No!!” You looked at her, incredulous that she would say that to you. Her face dropped at your panic, and you smiled her way, earning an eye roll from her. “Its special because of who it reminds me of, and who it’s for.”

“You built it for someone?!” Now it was her turn to look dumbfounded. “Who? Is it a secret client?” She emphasized the secret part, jumping up and down while clapping her hands together. She looked over the half wall to the crowd milling below. “It’s them, it’s totally them. I know it.” She pointed at someone in the people on the lower level. You laughed, approaching her and sliding your hand over her lower back, leaning against the wall and observing everyone happily chatting and enjoying the food and drink. 

“I can assure you, it isn’t them. But to say that this person is my first client would be true. I’ve wanted to build this for them for a while now. For all that they did for me.” She turned in to look at you, and you watched the glint in her eyes. You swore that you saw something in her eyes, as she opened her mouth like she was going to say something. She quickly shut her mouth, and looked back to the group of people beneath you. You grabbed her hand, pulling her towards the stairs. You led her down the stairs, your hands still linked. When the twins caught sight of this, they both smirked your way, but you shook your head. The frown that overtook MK’s face was deep, as she set her face in a deep scowl. You mouthed “not now,” getting her to relax slightly before you pushed their younger sister over to them. 

Approaching the small stage in the corner of the room, the roar in the room started to soften as the occupants noticed you approaching the microphone stand. 

“Good Evening everyone,” you remove the mic from the stand, pushing the stand out of your personal bubble. There is a muffled response from everyone who has now turned to face you. Your eyes scanned the room, finding that the people who meant the most were all in a row together, at the back of the crowd. Lizzie was sandwiched in between her sisters, with Dave and Jarnie standing behind the twins. Your mom was next, with your dad standing with his arm around her shoulder. Some of your friends from college, from technical school and beyond. “I want to thank everyone for coming out here tonight, some of you came from out of state, and it means a lot to me that you could make it.” You lock your eyes on Lizzie, sending her a wink abhor moving on, walking around the small stage. 

“This has been a long time coming, opening up a dream business that I have been passionate about since I was young. Building cars has been a passion of mine since elementary school. I hope that this passion continues to show in the work that is driven out of those doors.” You motion, pointing at the garage doors by the unveiling area you had designed in the shop. You continue to dive into the passion and the reasoning behind this decision to open a shop like this, as well as thanking the people who helped to get you to where you are now. “Now, as you can see, there are plenty of cars in here to occupy my time for a while, and I am sure in everyones chatting tonight that you all have realized that the majority of the owners of these cars are here tonight…” you gesture out to the racks of cars that were in various stages of being worked on. “… and I would like to thank each and every owner for trusting me with these projects, and having the faith in me to put their dreams forth and turn these cars into a reality.” You walked down off the stage, as everyone claps. 

“Now, the project that has been occupying my time of late, the vehicle that will christen this shop as the first vehicle to leave that rollup door, is a special vehicle to someone who has proved to be very important to me, and whose family has welcomed me as one of their own.” You look up, noticing the reaction of the family you were speaking of. “You may be asking, Y/N, what about your parents? They’re here too. Well, the answer is simple. Ive built those cars in thanks already. Those cars are the reason I have a client base now.” You gesture towards the trio of cars that were built for your parents. “This car, is for my ‘adopted’ family. I found out about this car, in my multiple late night discussions with that young lady, over there.” You point in Lizzies direction, and the rooms attention shifts towards the Olsen family. “This woman has become one of my absolute best friends, after meeting her in business school at NYU. For the last ten years, she has been with me through absolutely everything.” She blushed and scrunched her nose, as you waved her up to you. 

“This is the car I saw in so many family photos, and heard stories of driving around with their grandpa and dad before it needed to be sold. It reminds me so much of the story of that vehicle over there, and how I felt when it disappeared outside of the family.” You pointed at the same 1955 Chevy that was your grandfathers, that was sold and broke your family’s collective heart. When you were able to track down the same vehicle, you fixed it, and surprised your parents by driving up to their house in it. Your mom was in tears, it was her fathers car, his baby from the time he bought it when she was in middle school. The significance of it, being that is was the same year her oldest sibling was born. Your grandfathers first child. SO when it left the family, it was truly heartbreaking. 

“Loosing that 55 was difficult on the family, because it becomes a family member. So saying that I understood how hard it was for this family to loose a family member, is an understatement.” You walk over to the vehicle, inviting the rest of the Olsens up to stand behind it. “None of them knew about this build, till now.” You turn and smile, taking in the shocked faces of the family, noticing the mixed emotions of what may lay below the satin sheet. “Now, I did take some liberty here, and designed it for a changing world. I designed it knowing the things that are important to the person I wanted to gift this to.” You smile, looking over at the blonde beside you. The look on her face was one of astonishment. “It may seem sacrilegious for some, but the condition I found this vehicle in, I couldn’t save the powertrain. So, considering how hard it is to find an original powertrain for this car, I did what I felt was best. I made it more powerful, but better for the environment. I was able to make this vehicle a hybrid.” You gesture, walking over to a corner of the sheet, waving Lizzie to follow. She looked over the vehicle before looking at you with tears in her eyes. You handed her the corner of the fabric, and told her to pull it towards the corner. She nodded, wiping the tears away that had fallen, before she pulled the fabric off the car, revealing a black 1961 Ferrari Spyder. She immediately dropped the fabric, covering her mouth as she cried seeing the vehicle that she spoke so emphatically about. The twins, Jarnie and Dave all crying, as the vehicle, like the old Chevy to your mom, was her dads car growing up. 

The room began to mill around, looking at the vehicle, as you lifted the hood to reveal a hybrid electric power plant, and Lizzie came up and wrapped her arms around you from behind. 

“Why?” She whispered, causing goosebumps to erupt across your body. “You didn’t need to do this, you know.”

“You deserve it. Your family, they deserve it too. You’ve been there for me, more than anyone ever has. So many times you pulled me from a dark place, and you have no idea how much I appreciate that, because had you not been there, I would not be here today.” Your eyes get misty as you pull her away towards a farther corner of the room. 

“What do you mean, Y/N?” She asks, not fully understanding the depth of what needs to be said. 

“I’ll tell you later. First, I want you and your dad to go take a ride in your new old car.” You say, smiling as you hand her the keys. 

“Y/N, you can’t be serious. You built it for me? This, this is mine?” Her hand was shaking as she reached for the keys. 

“Yes. Yes it is.” You shook your head, slipping the keys into her hand. 

“But, wha…what about mom and dad?” She asked, gesturing towards them, as they looked over the vehicle, Jarnie sitting in the passenger seat. 

“I already asked them, they agree. This is your car.” She whipped her head in your direction at the admission. 

“They knew about this?”

“Not to the extent that I did, but they knew I bought your grandpas car back. I had to ask them for the records to the car to find it.”

“You sneaky fucking shit,” she laughed at you, smacking your chest. 

“Go, enjoy it. We can talk when you get back,” you smile at her, before she went running over and hugging her mom and dad. You smiled at the interaction between the three. 

“You did good, hun.” Your mom says, coming up and hugging you. “It’s a beautiful car.”

“Thanks, ma. I appreciate it.” You smile, hugging her tight. 

“Now, Y/N… when are you going to tell the poor girl how you feel?” It was your turn to look absolutely stunned. “Y/N, honey, I know how you feel about her. It’s obvious. I may not have accepted the fact that you were gay at first, but I know you better than anyone. You and her, you’re crazy about each other, and you both keep running around it, and avoiding it. Tell Liz how you feel. She feels the same way.”

“Ma, I know. What is this, gang up on Y/N day? MK said the same thing to me not even 2 hours ago.”

“Because it’s true, Y/N. Don’t be stupid, look where that got you with your last relationship.” She scolded, before walking away. You stood there stunned at what your mother had just told you. You knew that she didn’t like your now ex-wife. You just thought that was in part to her not agreeing with you being gay. But it wasn’t. She just hated your ex. You let out a deep sigh, jumping when a hand lands on your shoulder. 

“What was that about?” MK asked, raising her eyebrow like she really knew the answer. 

“You two are teaming up on me. I swear.” You grumble. 

“Because we care? And because we know. Believe me, I know Lizzie better than anyone.”

“What does that even mean??” You groan. 

“Y/N, don’t be dense. Just wo-man up and say it.” You grimace at the statement. 

“Ew. Don’t ever say wo-man up ever, ever again.” She laughs before walking away, just as the black convertible pulls back into the garage. Lizzie is grinning from ear to ear, and her dad is too. 

“This isn’t what we had anticipated when you asked for information about the car, Y/N/N.” Jarnie slid in next to you, still staring at the car on the other end of the shop. “We thought you were going to leave it as-is. This is better than we all had imagined. They look so happy.” She smiled, taking in the sight of the three girls and their dad around the car. 

“It was your dads car, what do you think?” You ask, nudging the eldest Olsen. 

“It’s perfect, Y/N. Especially for Liz.” You turn and give the woman a hug, before she walks over to where the twins stood. You decide to let them look everything over, and dismiss yourself through the crowd, shanking hands and briefly speaking with those who stopped you on the way upstairs to your office. With how the last year has been, you find yourself reflecting by yourself more often. You see some people begin to filter their way out, at this point the party had been going on for roughly 4 hours. You again found yourself behind your desk, staring into space, not noticing the new presence in the room. 

“I was told you needed to speak to me.” The voice of your best friend rang out from behind you. 

“You were told, huh?” You smile, turning in your chair to face your best friend, who sat herself down in the chair across from you, the desk now in between. 

“More like, directed to come up here by your mom, my mom and my sisters.” She said, laughing. You rolled  your eyes at their insistence. 

“Of course, they’re seriously annoying me tonight.”

“Oh? How come?”

“It’s nothing, Liz.” She shook her head in response. 

“What were you talking about earlier, Y/N? When you said you wouldn’t be here?”

“What I meant, was that you were what kept me going, Liz.” You let out a deep sigh, shifting your gaze to the floor beside the actress. “I was so close, so many times, to calling it quits. You always had a way of pulling me out of it. Sometimes I would get your text in the middle of my meltdown, or a phone call because you just wanted to catch up.” You laugh a watery laugh. “The last time we spoke on the phone, you had called at one of the worst times for me.” Her face shifted to one of confusion and concern.

“What do you mean?”

“Do you remember the last phone call, not video call, we had?”

“Yeah, you told me in that call that you and she-devil were getting a divorce. I tried to video call you instead but you kept declining it.”

“Yeah. I kept declining it because I was on the edge, Liz. I didn’t want you to see me like that. But you called without knowing something was going on. And hearing your voice, made me picture you. You saved me that night. Otherwise the next time you saw me, it would have been in a casket.” She stood, moving towards you and kneeling before you in your chair. 

“Why didn’t you tell me, Y/N? I had no idea…” she trailed off. You wiped your face with the back of your hand, sniffling at the admission. 

“Because Liz, I didn’t want to be a burden. I knew if you found out, you would up and leave what you were doing. I didn’t want to be that friend, that made you leave a movie that you had been so happy about landing.”

“Y/N, I would have left because you mean the world to me. I would have rather left than finding out you killed yourself and never got the chance to k… see you again.” She stumbled over the last bit of the sentence, catching your attention. 

“Lizzie,” you took her hands, spinning the ring on her pointer finger in your hand. “I do need to tell you something.”

“Ok. But only if I can tell you something afterwards.” You shake your head, acknowledging her request. Taking a deep breath, you push back from her, afraid to see the reaction she has to you. Standing, you walk away, closing the door to the office, and pushing the button by your light switch for the blinds to come down. You pace back and forth, before settling on a spot, and turning to look at your best friend. She was now standing behind your desk, with her arms crossed, a concerned look strewn across her features. 

“Lizzie,” you start, your heart beat seemingly pounding louder and louder. “You’re one of the best people in my life, and you quickly became one of the most important to me. No matter what you think, I can’t loose you, as a friend…” you start as she shifts her weight from one leg to another. “But, I need to tell you, that I love you. Not just as my best friend, not just as a person. I really truly love you.” You say, your eyes darting over to gauge her reaction. Her face remained stoic, she was certainly giving you her best Wanda expression. She ran her hand through her hair, taking a deep breath, before looking down. You began to panic, unsure of how she was reacting. 

“Y/N,” she started, her voice smaller than normal. She suddenly surged forwards, wrapping her arms behind your neck. “I love you too. I have, for a while.” She responded, as your face went from sullen and distant to hopeful. She leaned in, ghosting her lips against yours. “But I want you to make the first move.” She smirked, pulling away ever so slightly to look into your eyes. You looked for any sense or indication of being hesitant, finding none. Bringing your hand up to grab her behind her head, you pull her towards you, placing your other hand on the small of her back, and flushing her body against yours. Lowering your head, you press your lips against hers, sealing your confessions in a slow kiss. You both continued, slowly, passionately, before you separated and rested your foreheads against each others. 

“How long, Liz?” You asked, grabbing hold of her hands, playing with her fingers. 

“A month after we met, I knew something was different. But I was also scared of my feelings, scared of my parents, and how everyone may react. But watching you marry Lauren, that was one of the most difficult nights of my life. At that point I thought that I had lost you, and I was never going to forgive myself. I knew that after the night we woke up together in the same bed, I should have told you how I felt. Maybe, just maybe, I wouldn’t have driven you to someone else.”

“Liz, you didn’t though. I should have said something sooner. I didn’t want to loose you.”

“You have the chance now, Y/N. Don’t loose me now.” She responds, before you crash your lips to hers in a much more sloppy, heated kiss. You quickly took over, directing all the passion and emotion into the kiss, pushing her smaller frame against your desk. You feel her smile into the kiss, biting your lip before pulling away. “You have no idea how long I have waited for that, Y/N.” 

You smiled, pulling her in for a tight hug, nestling your face into the crook of her neck, her arms wrapped around the back of your neck, fingers laced in your hair. 

“I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you, Liz.”

[luvhockey111]

doomsday

based off of doomsday by lizzy mcalpine!

summary: Quinn Hughes and Elouise “ellie” were high school sweethearts. Everyone surrounding them were just waiting for the day that Quinn would pop the question. What happens when Quinn turns cold?

warnings: sad quinn, sad reader, kind of asshole quinn, angst a little bit

Quinn and Ellie had been dating since their freshman year of high school, to be more specific November of 2013. They were so deeply in love, when quinn went to the University of Michigan, Ellie followed. When Quinn had to move to Vancouver, he bought an apartment for the two of them. There truly was no Quinn without Ellie and vice versa. They made their apartment a home, even buying a dog right before quarantine in March of 2020. Their relationship never once faltered. That is until Ellie got a job offer in Michigan in September of 2022. Ellie’s dream had always been to be a physical trainer for a sports team. While Quinn tried and tried for the Canucks to hire her, they just simply did not need another trainer. It never crossed Quinn’s mind that Ellie could possibly consider leaving Vancouver to work. I mean Vancouver had been their home for the past 5 years, Quinn had been her home for the past 9. Eloise had found out about this job last month, she had told quinn right when she found out, since that day he had been nothing but cold. A shell of the man she loved.

“El I just don’t understand why you would go and apply for this job in Michigan, do you not care about me?.” Quinn had never raised his voice at Ellie, not in all her years of knowing him. “Quinn this is my dream, you know that. I’ve followed you every step of the way since we went to college, I’ve been working towards this job since senior year of high school. I’m not going to let it get away.” Eloise could feel her body start to over heat, her eyes get watery and blurry and her throat starting to close. Why couldn’t Quinn understand? “I told you that you don’t have to work I can provide for you El” Quinn started yelling. “You’ve had no problem letting me take care of everything and pay for the past 5 years so what’s the problem now.” “Are you insinuating that I have been using you?” Ellie was furious now. How could Quinn, her perfect boyfriend who has never raised his voice or ever mistreated her say imply such a thing? “It’s not insinuating, if I am straight up saying it Eloise.” Quinn had completely run cold. “Okay, you know what quinn I’m booking my flight for tomorrow morning. I start next week. I thought my boyfriend would be happy I’m finally getting what I’ve been dreaming about, but I guess not.” Eloise already had started packing earlier that day while quinn was at training. “Eloise if you take this job we are over.” Quinn said with a shaky voice, tears brimming just above his waterline. “I guess we’re over than, I’ll get my stuff and go to a hotel tonight.” Eloise was trying her hardest to keep her composure. She knew it had to have been a heat of the moment thing, but even then, if he is that willing to throw 9 years down the drain over a little distance, maybe he wasn’t the one.

“Pull the plug in September I don't want to die in June I'd like to start planning my funeral I've got work to do

Pull the plug, make it painless I don't want a violent end Don't say that you'll always love me 'Cause you know I'd bleed myself dry for you over and over again”

It was now December 23 2023

Ever since Eloise left that night she had not seen or spoken to Quinn. He had not reached out and neither had she. It would be a lie to say that she had not thought about texting him everyday. However, as far as she knows he is living his bachelor life up in Vancouver. She knew Quinn would be coming back home to Michigan for Christmas, as he did every year. Last Christmas Eloise had opted on buying herself and her mom a week long cruise over the time period she knew Quinn would be back in their hometown. This year was different, although she still did not want to see Quinn or speak with him, she had done a lot of self evaluation and decided that maybe it was for the best that the 2 split. I mean they had been together since freshman year of high school. She truly had not known herself without the presence of Quinn, and same goes for Quinn. It could possibly be right person wrong time or simply just someone who wasn’t meant to be. Eloise was currently shopping in her local Trader Joe’s when she had heard an all too familiar voice. Now it’s not the voice that she had heard everyday for 9 years but it was a voice she could pick out of a lineup for sure. It was the voice of the little brother she never had. “Yup, okay Jack I’ll get that fried rice you like. Oh my god leave me alone you’re such a child.” Luke groaned loudly, Eloise let out a quiet laugh at the sound of this conversation, knowing the antics of her old second family all too well. She was in the aisle next to luke and could still hear him loud and clear. All of a sudden the voice started sounding louder and closer. “Jack I swear if you tell mom I’ll…” Luke locked eyes with Ellie and looked as if he had just seen a ghost. “Uh yeah jack I’ll see you when I get home.” Right as he hung up on jack he ran to Ellie, engulfing her in a bear hug. Right as they connected Ellie could feel herself starting to get choked up and tears welling in her eyes. “Oh El I’m so sorry about everything, I’m sorry I didn’t reach out, I’m so sorry.” “It’s okay lu, I know how close you and Quinn are I didn’t expect you to. I did miss you a whole lot though.” Luke and Eloise had always been extremely close. She had known him since he was 10 and watched him grow up into an amazing hockey player and an even better person. She reminisced back to when she had first gotten her license and the first thing she did was drive Luke to hockey practice because Ellen and Jim were busy, and Quinn and Jack were out of town. He was like the brother she never had. Luke and Eloise had talked for about 5 more minutes before jack called complaining that he was out for too long and he had to eventually part ways from Ellie. After seeing Luke it made Eloise realize how much she had missed Quinn, but if it was that easy for him to walk out of her life and not reach out then it would be just as easy for him to ignore her, or to do it again. December 25, 2023

Christmas was always Eloises favorite holiday. Every year that she had been home for Christmas she would walk down a street in her town that was filled with lights and people after their Christmas dinners. This year had been no different. After her family dinner she had grabbed her coat and went to walk down the street. Now, every year she had done this walk with Quinn, this year it felt like a part of her had died on this walk. The part of her that enjoyed Christmas, or any holiday for that matter. She had realized on this walk she had become a shell of the person she once was. She had realized how pathetic she probably looked to an outsider. It was never about not knowing herself outside of being in a relationship with Quinn, it was the pride she took in it, how he made her a better person, he pushed her to chase after her dreams, he did all that he could to get her every resource possible so that she could follow her dreams. All in all she realized that she’s the villain in her own story. Yes, Quinn had blown up on her when he really had no right to, but she was the one who packed all of her stuff without telling him, she was the one who left their shared home of the past 5 years without a word, and she was the one who had blocked his phone number meaning to have unblocked it by the next morning. As Eloise realized she never unblocked his phone number she broke. What if he had tried reaching out to fix everything? What if he missed her as much as she missed him and she would never know? Quinn’s perspective:

A piece of Quinn had died a little bit with every text he had sent to Eloises phone number and every time it had shown up as not delivered. Quinn had been siliently dying inside due to his ego not wanting to tell anyone about the breakup, although everyone could tell something was wrong. He had kept up with her life ever since they split. He as well was a shell of a person ever since she had walked out that door. He texted her everyday multiple times without fail, he had called her at least once a day to hear her voice and laugh on the answering machine. He knew that Christmas was her favorite holiday and he knew she was in town because Luke had told him. So he had decided to text her to wish her a Merry Christmas.

“The death of me was so quiet No friends and family allowed Only my murderer, you And the priest who told you to go to hell And the funny thing is I would've married you If you'd have stuck around”

Eloise had felt her phone buzz in her pocket

Q💘: Merry Christmas El, I know today is your favorite. Remember our first Christmas together when you still had braces and a unibrow lol. You still were the most beautiful girl I had ever laid my eyes on, well I mean you still are but you get the point. I know you won’t see this message and haven’t seen the other probably millions of texts I’ve sent, I still love you and will continue to love you for as long as I’m living but I think it’s doing me more harm then good. Until we (hopefully) meet again my Ellie girl.

“I had no choice in the matter Why would I? It's only the death of me”

[bratshaws]

through the hourglass 381. brb x oc

a/n: not me being an idiot and SAYING 40 INSTEAD OF 80 AAA (comments and reblogs are super welcome and encouraged!)

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: just some suggestive stuff uwu

goodness gracious (pls read this one to know more what this fic is about!!)

chapter

1/

/316/317/318/319/320/321/322/323/324/325/326/327/328/329/330/331/332/333/334/335/336/337/338/339/340/341/342/343/344/345/346/347/348/349/350/351/352/353/354/355/356/357/358/359/360/361/362/363/364/365/366

/367/368/369/370/371/372/373/374/375/376/377

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@lyn-js

-

He did something he hadn’t done in years.

He checked his yearbook. it was tossed somewhere inside their closet - to be honest he hadn’t even shown Bea that it was there. Rooster walked out of the shower and beelined towards the built in shelves, moving boxes out of the way, patting around until he finds it.

It was a thick yearbook, red leather cover. He looks down at it, exhales, then inhales, then repeats it all over again. Dr.Paulson,when Rooster told him about it, said that this should be a restart for him. To finally accept the healing he’s been working on. He got the promotion, now he had to deal with some demons.

He looks around, hearing Beatrice moving downstairs and then sits on the bed, placing the yearbook on his lap…why was he nervous to open it?

Rooster sat on the edge of the bed, the weight of the yearbook heavy in his hands. He traced his fingers over the red leather cover… It had been years since he last looked at the pages within, the memories of his high school days buried deep within his mind.

With a deep breath, he opened the yearbook, the pages yellowed with age. As he flipped through the pages, faces from the past stared back at him, frozen in time. He found himself smiling at some of the familiar faces, memories flooding back to him with each turn of the page.

There were pictures of his classmates, their names scrawled in elegant handwriting beneath their photos. He lingered on each page, reminiscing about the friendships and rivalries that had defined his high school experience. 

And there were many rivalries.

But as he turned the pages, Rooster couldn't help but feel a sense of sadness wash over him. He paused on a page featuring a group photo of his baseball team, memories of late-night practices and incredible victories flooding back to him. 

He shakes his head, flipping back to the beginning to find his photo. He looked…crazy. But then again this was the 2000’s and everyone looked crazy then. His mustache was already thick and— was his hair a mullet???? He stares at it for a few seconds, he could NOT remember his hair like that, but it was a kind of mullet.

“What the f-” he narrows his eyes, trying to remember it…why did he…oh. That picture day he told his mom he wanted a haircut, since his hair was growing long but…but she wasn’t okay, so he decided to do it himself. It wasn’t bad, it just wasn’t good.

He looked very angry then, even while smiling.

He clicks his tongue against his teeth, looking back at his younger self with the strained smile and low brows. Almost glaring in a way…he was so fucking angry back then, so angry,so stressed so–”

“Hey.”

He immediately snaps the yearbook closed, widening his eyes towards Bea, who gave him a confused look ,”...hey…gorgeous.”

Beatrice crossed the room to join him on the bed, her brow furrowing with concern as she took in Rooster's expression. "Are you okay?" she asked softly, reaching out to place a hand on his shoulder. "You seem...distressed."

Rooster sighed, running a hand through his hair as he struggled to find the right words. "Yeah, I'm okay," he replied, his voice tinged with uncertainty. "I was just...looking at my old yearbook."

“...what?”

“Oh, it’s…nothing.” he tries to put it away, “Just, you know, it’s nothing.”

Bea blinked at him, smiling in surprise, “You never told me you had your yearbook!”

"Yeah, I guess I never did," he admitted, his voice tinged with regret. "It's just been sitting in the closet for years, collecting dust."

Beatrice's expression softened as she reached out to take Rooster's hand in hers. "Well, why don't you show it to me?" she suggested gently. "I'd love to see what you were like in high school."

Rooster hesitated, unsure of how to respond…"I don't know, Bea," he said hesitantly, his voice barely above a whisper. "It's...not exactly a happy trip down memory lane."

Beatrice squeezed Rooster's hand ,rubbing his knuckles with her thumb, her eyes warm. "I understand," she said softly. "But I'm here for you, no matter what. And if looking at your yearbook brings up difficult memories, I'll be right here to support you. If you want to"

She had a way of making him feel seen and understood, even when he struggled to articulate his emotions. 

Always did.

With a deep breath, he nodded, his resolve strengthening.

"Okay," he said, his voice filled with determination. "I'll show it to you."

With that, Rooster opened the yearbook once again, flipping through the pages as Beatrice leaned in to look over his shoulder. She blinked, because he opened exactly on his picture, ‘...Roos.” she whispers, “...You never told me you had a mullet in school!’

‘Yeah,I…kinda forgot.”

“You make it look good.” she whispered, “...gosh I’d have such a crush on you if we studied together.”

Rooster chuckled softly at Beatrice's remark, feeling a warmth spread through his chest. "Well, lucky for me, I have you now," he replied, his voice tinged with affection. "And I wouldn't change that for anything."

Beatrice smiled up at Rooster, her eyes shining with love. "I feel the same way," she said softly, her voice filled with sincerity. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me." she was so sincere, only to drop her gaze back down at the yearbook, “...so, tell me a little bit about this. You did tell me some about your life in Virginia but,well, anyone here you’d like to introduce me to?”

“Ah,pft,I think you’ll meet most of them at the reunion.” he mutters, flipping a page, ‘...I can’t believe I said yes.”

She looks at him for a few seconds, she could see how much this whole ordeal made him conflicted and she felt her heart hurt for him. Rooster had so much in his mind and she always means what she says when she says she’ll respect and support his choices… “We can still cancel the flight if you want.” she suggests ,”Is that what you want?”

“...no, it’s fine.”

“You sure?”

He rubs his eyes then runs his hand down his face, “I…I need to do this, close the chapter, you know?” he looks down at his yearbook, inhaling before he closes it, “...I haven’t seen these people in almost 20 years, gorgeous….”

"I understand," she said softly, her voice quiet. "Closing that chapter can be difficult, but I'll be right here with you every step of the way."

Rooster smiled gratefully at Beatrice, feeling a sense of warmth wash over him. "Thank you," he murmured, his voice filled with sincerity. "I appreciate that.”

"Hey," she said softly, breaking the silence, "You don't have to do this alone. We're a team, remember?"

Rooster smiled at Beatrice's words, feeling a surge of gratitude wash over him. "I know," he replied, his voice filled with warmth. "It’s just…weird."

They sat together for a while longer, finding solace in each other's presence.It was then that Bea finally noticed that her husband, her very handsome and physically attractive husband, was wearing only a towel. “...baby?” she asks, “you…are not dressed.”

He blinks, “...Oh. I…forgot about that.”

Beatrice laughed softly, reaching out to playfully swat his arm. "You are too silly sometimes" she teased, her eyes sparkling with amusement. "Go get dressed before you catch a cold."

“I mean…would you be opposed if I…you know, lost the towel?”

Oh he was relentless.

“Normally I’d be all for it baby but we have things to do today,” she whispers, albeit her eyes dropped to his jutted hipbones, “Okay?”

Rooster nodded, smirking before standing up from the bed and making his way to the closet to grab some clothes.Beatrice watched Rooster with a fond smile, feeling a rush of affection wash over her. 

And something else.

Once Rooster was dressed, they settled back onto the bed, enjoying each other's company in comfortable silence. Beatrice snuggled up against Rooster's side, feeling a sense of peace wash over her as they basked in the warmth of their love.

As they lay together, lost in their own thoughts, Rooster reached out to take Beatrice's hand in his. He squeezed her hand then brought up to his lips "I love you," he murmured, his voice filled with sincerity. "Thank you for always being there for me."

Beatrice smiled up at Rooster, her heart swelling with love. "I love you too," she replied softly, her voice filled with warmth. "Don’t mention it.”

He smiles, his cheeks dimpling as he rubs her ring finger gently, inhaling, ‘...is it weird to say I’m kinda scared for the reunion?”

"It's not weird at all," she replied softly, her voice gentle as she caresses his chest. "It's natural to feel nervous about facing the past, especially when it's been so long."

Rooster nodded, his gaze dropping to their intertwined fingers. "Yeah," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. "I guess I'm just worried about...what they'll think of me, you know? It's been so long since we've seen each other, and I've changed a lot since then." he frowns, “I don’t know why I am worried.”

Beatrice squeezed Rooster's hand reassuringly, her touch warm and comforting. "You're still the same amazing person you've always been," she said sincerely. "And anyone who can't see that doesn't deserve to be in your life."

Rooster smiled gratefully at Beatrice, feeling a sense of warmth spread through his chest. "Thank you," he murmured, his voice filled with sincerity. "It’s just this whole thing with John, him being a weirdo, i don’t know…made me remember why I stopped talking to some of them.”

Rooster wrapped his arm around Beatrice, pulling her close before he continued, “I mean, he looked at you weird too.” he purses his lips, “I didn’t like it.”

Beatrice leaned into Rooster's embrace, feeling a sense of security wash over her. "I know," she replied softly, her voice tinged with concern. “I do love when you get all protective.” she smiles softly, kissing his chin, “You are always so…vicious with your eyes only,it’s very attractive.”

He chuckles, arching his brow at her, “Well, you are a beautiful woman.” she blushes,dropping her gaze a bit ,”And you know,I do love all of you.”

Beatrice's heart skipped a beat at Rooster's words, feeling a rush of warmth flood her chest. She looked up at him with adoration in her eyes, "You always know how to make me feel loved," she whispered, “I really like it.”

Rooster brushed a strand of hair away from Beatrice's face, his touch gentle as he leaned in to press a tender kiss to her forehead. "And I always will," he replied softly, his voice filled with sincerity. "You mean everything to me, Beatrice."

Beatrice smiled up at Rooster, feeling a sense of gratitude wash over her. "”And you mean everything to me.” she whispers, touching his face, “...that’s why I don’t want you to be too worried, if you feel uncomfortable there,we leave. Plain and simple.”

He frowns, “I know…” he sighs, “I don’t know if we should take the kids to Virginia this time.”

“Yeah?”

“We’ll be there for what? One? Two days? There’s no need.” he frowns, “Besides, the long travel is going to take a toll on them, you know?”

‘Well, the twins are still pretty young.” she whispers, “And Nikki…mhm…yeah no you are right, it’s better they stay here. Maybe we can call Mav to babysit them, you know?” she says softly, “They’d have a blast.”

Rooster nodded in agreement, his brow furrowing with concern. "Yeah, that sounds like a good idea," he replied, his voice filled with thoughtfulness. "I'll give Mav a call and see if he's available to babysit."

Beatrice smiled gratefully at Rooster, feeling a sense of relief wash over her. "He’ll make time, you know that," she said softly, her voice filled with gratitude. "I think the kids will have a lot of fun with him."

Rooster leaned in to press a tender kiss to Beatrice's lips, his touch warm. They always do," he murmured, his voice filled with sincerity. "I just want to make sure our family is happy and safe."

Beatrice melted into Rooster's embrace, feeling a sense of warmth spread through her chest. She wrapped her arms around him, holding him close as they savored the moment together.

“They are.” she whispers, kissing his chin, “You know they are.” she then sits up, “Come on, there’s a lot of stuff we have to pack–” he groans in annoyance “And we better get on with it, the sooner we do it, the better,right?”

He sighs, but relents, “...fine…” with a little grin, slapping her ass as she turns around, making her yelp, “After you.”

[theminecraftbee]

I think I’ve mentioned this before but the problem with putting Lizzie in the smallishsona au is that, because I’m somewhat basing this more on hermitcraft, I worry sticking her in here would inherently kind of reduce her to her relationship with Joel, which doesn’t feel… fair? like I’m willing to do that to Jimmy because he has ten million aus already, but I didn’t want to stick Lizzie in the velvet room because that is an inherently kind of subservient role with a character arc that is DIRECTLY about bonding to Joel. and then also I made Joel’s backstory “everyone he loves is dead” and like, as much as I joke about constantly fridging, say, Grian, I am WAY MORE RELUCTANT to kill off Lizzie to make a man sad for The Obvious Reasons.

with that prologue: as I was typing this I realized the FUNNIEST WAY for me to include Lizzie in this au and I think it’s canon now because it’s a way for her to cameo that does not reduce her to her relationship with Joel or center around that relationship in any way. and it’s ALSO really funny.

I think she should take over Tanaka’s Amazing Commodities actually. every Sunday she comes on TV and sells you the worst scams you’ve seen in your life. and you have to buy them anyway. because sometimes they’re unique items you can’t get in any way but with these stupid catchy infomercials. she is not sorry about it. she is making so much money. Joel has received so many sketchy packages. he is suffering.

DO YOU SEE THE VISION,

[yoursweetestnightmarelover]

The Dance

“Have you heard? They're having a big party, apparently it's to celebrate a new year or something like that” J asked “Yea Lizzy even invited me” V responded, “Are you going to go?” J asked “Yea I am even Tessa and N are going are you not?” V said. “No, I have work” J said, “work?” V asked with doubt, “Yes work, are your audio receptors having problems?” J asked sarcastically, V rolled her eyes, then V smirked to herself coming up with an idea. “You know If your 'work' clears up I hear a certain someone doesn't have anyone to accompany her~” V said a mischievous grin on her face, J glared at her knowing exactly who V was talking about. “Aww come on, I'm just pulling your leg” V said, her grin growing to be Cheshire like “Ugh hate when you do that” J said pushing V away, a bell flashing on her visor. “Oh all ready well I'm going out to have fun see ya~” V said before flying off J sitting on some scrap annoyed.

Uzi, sitting in her room tinkering with various machines, Uzi hearing a knock on the door “Come In” Uzi said the room being illuminated by the pale light coming from the hallway Khan coming in saying ”You know the new year's celebration is going to be starting here soon have you picked out an outfit yet?” Uzi pointing to her bed the black dress she wore on prom set there neatly,” Uzi you don't have to go if you don't want to, Khan said ”I do it's just…” khan cutting in saying you're nervous?” ”What me nervous, I've dealt with way worse, I'm not nervous at all.” Uzi said ”well if you say so” khan said in a sad tone, knowing that she was lying or not telling him the full picture. It wasn't a lie, just she wasn't nervous. It's just a reminder that she well by herself of course she has N and V But that not what she means well N loves her as a sister and V well… Her processor quickly flashed the image of J a blush appearing on her visor. She was the LAST drone she would ask but maybe-Uzi cutting herself off, NOPE she would just suck it up and go by herself… just then she heard the doorbell ring.

Was she really doing this, J thought to herself, standing in front of the door saying Doorman resident's she could just go back no one would know or even care, so why is she here? Did she just want to get back at V? Khan slowly opening the door, his eyes hollowing out staring at the drone in front of him, he never felt comfortable around them but THIS ONE especially. Uzi coming to the front door after putting on her prom dress, she saw J? She's wearing a yellow thigh dress along with a black coat with an open front and what looked to be fur along the cuff and trim Uzi staring at J her visor playing a sparkle effect and a blush. J looking at her, seeing her in a black dress It fit her perfectly it was alright Khan interrupting J staring at Uzi saying “A-Are you here for the new year's party?” Khan said his visor showing beads of sweat going down it “As a matter of fact I am, and I'm here to pick up your daughter. Isn't that right Uzi~” J said Uzi, still lost in J eyes hearing her name, she responded with a “yea” only for Uzi to snap out of it realizing what she just agreed to. Khan still in shock “O-Oh okay” Khan stuttered out slowly handing Uzi over J extending her hand out for Uzi to grab who just slapped away “let's just go” Uzi grumbled out walking off with J.

J and Uzi entering the gymnasium, feeling the beat of the music N Tessa Thad and V came over Lizzy tagging along. “Uzi, so glad you could make it hey J” Thad said doing a double take upon seeing J glaring at him “hey Uzi? What is she doing here?” Thad whispered “I can hear you AND for your consideration I'm accompanying Uzi tonight” J responded in a snarky tone. Everyone But V looked shocked, Thad speaking up “Uzi blink twice if you're being force to do this” Thad whispered “No I'm not being force to do this” Uzi said J rolling her eyes. N piping up “Well I think it's nice to see you two together and not fighting” Tessa nodding “You're taking my advice about getting out more and doing less work.” Tessa said “Yep” J responded forcing a smile then a random drone called out. “HEY THAD TESSA, WE GOT THE JERRY CANS ALL SET UP COME ON DON'T CHICKEN OUT ON US NOW” cutting the awkward silence Thad and Tessa running over. “Thad challenged her to a drinking contest and well you know her, I'm going to make sure she doesn't over do it.” N said walking off waving to J and Uzi Lizzy following him, “so I'm guessing your 'work' wasn't that big of a deal? And I also see that you took my advice about 'accompanying' someone” V said, a smug grin on her face, “Advice?” Uzi asked, “Oh just that a little birdy told me that you were going to come to this event alone, and I may have let that slip out” V answered her question, “Let me guess this little birdy happened to be Lizzy?” Uzi scoffed, “even now she still wants all the detes of drama” she added, Uzi heading over to the table severing cheap ethanol “I'm going to need a drink for tonight” Uzi grumbled to herself. J following behind her grabbing Uzi's drink “For me why thank you” J said in a smug tone, Uzi glaring at her getting herself another drink as J walked off.

Uzi and J have been avoiding each other for the most part, occasionally meeting up. Uzi, mainly been hanging out with N and V, all three of them watching Thad and Tessa drinking challenge. ”Okay Tessa, you beat me I surrender,” He said Tessa letting out a hearty laugh, ”shouldn't have challenged me little man I will always win” Tessa said having a bold stance. ”Uh wow she drank like three bottles of alcohol, is she going to be okay? Isn't alcohol poisonous to humans” Lizzy asked, ”In significantly large amounts yes, but she's just going to wake up in the morning with a killer headache and regretting this” J said, ”Hey I don't regret, nothing” Tessa said, slightly sluggish N Rushing to her side ”lets just take it easy for now” N said kindly ”maybe that wouldn't be such a bad idea” Tessa said leaning in to N giggling a little. V snicking to herself, V was about to say something, but the DJ making an announcement.

”SLOW DANCE STARTING IN T MINUS ONE MINUTE” Lizzy eyes lighting up ”OH come, come on V we gotta do this” Lizzy said grabbing V's hand dragging her along, V chuckling to herself ”The romantic as ever.” Tessa looking at N a blush on her face, ”Would you like to dance with me?” she asked ”sure” N responding a warm smile on his face, his tail gently wagging. As N and Tessa walked off, leaving J and Uzi with just each other, ”Sooo…” Uzi said, not really sure how to ask her god her thoughts felt fuzzy J already knowing what she was going to ask and was going to say no but looking a Tessa N and V she felt Jealous? She was fine, she was fine, she lied to herself J's eyes glancing over to Uzi, but maybe it would be okay. ”Sure” J said offing her hand, Uzi was shocked, but she took her hand, as they both walked to the dance floor Uzi looking up at J saw that she's blushing on her visor. J looking down at Uzi, saw her eyes quickly dart away looking to her left blushing, J chuckling to herself she was so cut- J cutting off that thought as they both reached the dance floor. She realized she was boxed in she couldn't get out now, J felt her core rhythm increase J slowly starting a Tango with Uzi, but she was messing up she felt sluggish no they both are sluggish ”Wow you are not good at this” Uzi whispered a smirk on her face ”Yea because you keep messing me up what did they build you with two left feet?” J whispered back Uzi glaring at her, J was starting one of her speeches about how she should count herself lucky that she would even do this with her and blah, blah, blah. GOD COULD'NT SHE JUST SHUT UP FOR ONE NIGHT, Uzi thought to herself, J face getting closer to hers. God, she just wanted her to shut up Uzi got an idea the ethanol in her systems clouding her judgment, without thinking she shot forwards and kissed her J panicking she needed to pull away, so why wasn't she? J hands pulling her in closer and Uzi left hand grabbing her head and her right hand holding her waist Uzi and J sinking into each other embrace, Uzi felt weak. After what felt like an eternity, she never wanted to end they both pulled away both of them letting out light pant's staring at each other slightly shaking Tessa interrupting their moment with a ”AWW MY BABY'S IN LOVE” both of them snapping out of the haze both of them realized what they both had just done. Looking around, everyone was staring at them, Uzi ran and J flew off breaking the roof, both of them leaving with one thought WHY DID I ENJOY IT.

[writingonleaves]

and there are some days when i think that, somewhere, you're watching - the blue au

universe: the blue au

warnings: cancer, grief, sadness, the usual with anything to do with the blue au's premise lol

title: "chemtrails" by lizzy mcalpine

word count: 1.1k

author's note: lol hey!! there are a million other wips i should be working on but here we are! if you haven't read at least the first part of this au yet, you probs should for context. we are also manifesting here all three hughes brothers make it to the olympics. inspired by the beautiful players tribune article kevin hayes wrote for his late brother jimmy. i thought a lot about which brother would write something like this and ended up settling on quinn <3 enjoy and let me know your thoughts!

*****

The Ones We Play For 

for The Players Tribune 

by Quinn Hughes 

Written February 4, 2026

I’ll never forget the first time I put on a USA jersey for an international competition. 

It was for the 2015 World Under-17 Challenge when I had just turned 16. I didn’t think much of it at the time. The only thing I thought about was playing well, but it was an honor nonetheless. 

Every time you get the opportunity to represent your country in any way, it’s an honor. I know everyone says it, but it’s true. The whole nation is looking at you and cheering you and your teammates on. The playing of the anthem means more than ever. You look at the jersey and feel like you’re part of something bigger.

Next week, hockey at the 2026 Winter Olympics in Milano-Cortina will begin. I’ve always dreamed of being about to play at the Olympics, but now that it’s actually here, it’s surreal. 

The team is great, and I feel lucky to even be here. As I look around at my teammates, I feel confident that we can bring home a gold medal. But it’ll take hard work. That’s nothing that we don’t know though. 

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what it means to put on the jersey and who we wear it for. Of course, I think I speak for every single person at these Olympics when we say we wear it for our country and the fans watching us, whether here in Italy or back home. 

But we’re all playing for someone in our own support group. The village that has brought each of us here.

First, my parents, who have been there since the very first day. My mom, who taught me how to skate and my dad, who taught me how to see the game. My extended family: my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and family who aren’t technically family but who might as well be. Everyone in my life who’s always offered support and encouraging words, who has sat in cold rinks and watched me play. Whether they’re here in Italy or watching from various parts of the world, I’m playing for them. 

I’m also playing for my brothers, who will be on the ice with me. That’s still crazy for me to think about. We never could’ve imagined this when we were playing mini sticks in the basement as kids. Of course, we dreamed about it. But to see it come to reality? I feel very grateful. In the locker room, I look at Jack on my right and then Luke at my left. We’re playing for each other. 

But most importantly, I’m playing for Miguel Sandoval. 

I don’t talk about Miguel often, but he was one of the most important people in my life. Still is. He met my parents before I was born and automatically became a second father to me. To be honest, I don’t think I talk about him often because it still hurts to think about. 

Miguel was one of my biggest cheerleaders from the beginning. The fact that he’s not alive to see me take the ice next week is, well, it’s a lot of things. Sad is the first word that pops to mind. Unfair is another. The one who was at the rink next to my father in the stands before I even really knew how to play hockey isn’t alive to see me play in the Olympics? There’s no words to describe how devastating that is. 

He never got to see me play in any USA jersey, even though he was always confident I would put one on eventually. He died of pancreatic cancer on New Year’s Day, 2015. 

It’s been over 11 years without him, but he’s still in everything I do. A huge part of the reason I wear 43 is because of him — his birthday is April 3. I still remember his boisterous laugh and his kind eyes. He wrote Jack, Luke and I letters before he died that were specifically addressed to be given to us on our draft days. I still carry mine with me on every road trip. That’s how long and how strongly he believed in us. Somehow, he just knew that we would be drafted long before it happened. 

I have every word of that letter memorized. Sometimes, I trace over his handwriting with my thumb, and it feels like he's still with us.

During his brief battle with cancer, even when his body had almost no strength left, he always greeted us with a smile and an enthusiastic greeting. Even when he was advised not to, he made it to the games he could until his last days. To the very last day, he lived life with the biggest smile on his face.

If anyone should be here to see his “talented boys” take on the ice, it’s him. Not everyone is lucky enough to have someone like Miguel who loved them so unconditionally. I’m grateful for the time I had with him, even if I desperately wish it was more. We weren’t his sons by blood, but he treated us like family. But sometimes life is unfair, and we have to hold on to the fact that everything happens for a reason.

Here’s a reason: Miguel’s wife, Maeve, who is like a second mother to me, will be watching from Boston. Maeve is the best, always keeping it lighthearted and reminding me that life is supposed to be lived to the fullest. She has this youthful energy that’s just so infectious. She’s the one who always reminds me that hockey is supposed to be fun. I wouldn't be half the person I am today without her support.

And then their daughter, Clementine. Clem, I call her. Jack calls her Clee and Luke calls her Clemmy. Clem’s my best friend / older sister — the universal older sister, to be honest. It doesn’t matter if our last names aren’t the same. She’s been there for me ever since I could remember. Even when we were states, sometimes countries, away, I knew that if I called her, she’d always pick up. Currently on the journey to becoming a doctor, Clem is the kindest, most intelligent, most selfless and strongest woman I’ve ever met. She was the one who lost her father, but she made sure that all of us were okay. Even now, she can’t ever seem to take off the big-sister hat. But I wouldn’t have her any other way. 

Miguel, wherever you are, I can tell you a few things. First, I promise that we’re taking care of your wife and daughter as best as we can. We’re gonna try our best to get to the final rounds of this tournament so that they can fly out and watch us play. We love them and they’ll always be family. Second, whenever I feel a bit lost or need to be grounded, I think of you and your calm demeanor and bear hugs. I wish I could have just one more hug. Squeeze you one more time.

Miguel, when I put on that USA jersey and step on the ice, I will be playing for you. Jack, Luke and I will all be skating for you.

We miss you. 

We love you.

This is for you.

Yours, 

Quinn

[sharffffff]

Ugh. His head still hurt from Gem sinking her sword into it, dealing a killing blow that likely wouldn’t be killing if it wasn’t for all the damage he took from his zombies. That was stupid.

“What was I even thinking? Going up against an army alone just because my gear is good and I have a stack of zombie eggs? That was stupid.” Joel got up from the bed, only to find himself at Etho’s bed shrine. Right. He forgot he set his spawn here. Awkward. And he was surrounded from all sides by the rest of survivors, who were a lot more successful in, well, surviving.

“Oh, hey guys, just gonna leave.” He quickly started moving away, hoping he wouldn’t attract much attention from these guys, as he was almost giggling by now from both the embarrassment, and, well…

“You’re right, that was stupid. And embarrassing. If it were me in your place, I simply would not die like that. And if I did, I would kill all these guys when I respawned.” Lizzie was leaning in on his shoulder, bloodlust but also laughter sparkling in her eyes as she was mocking her husband.

“Didn’t you die by forgetting to put on a pumpkin? Lizzie, you live in a pumpkin, that’s way more embarrassing than me trying to fight off the herd on my own! And I am still alive and you’re dead, so it’s clear that you’re the stupid one here. Okay, sorry, you’re not stupid, you’re lovely.” Joel stumbled in his words as he basically sprinted down the hill, almost scared that Lizzie would try to take control and make him attack everyone again. He wasn’t sure he could actually survive attacking the survivors.

“That’s right, I’m lovely, and you should listen to what I say because I’m smarter and wiser than you. And I say you should kill Scott. And everyone else for that matter. But Scott first. If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t even need a pumpkin in the first place!” Joel could feel bloodlust radiating from Lizzie and, heck, why not, he wanted to indulge it. He was red now. He can murder whoever he wants, especially with the boogeyman curse going around. And murdering Scott is always a time well spent.

“Yeah, I like what you’re saying, Lizzie. Let’s go find and murder Scott, for everything he’s done to both of us. And then murder everyone else, just like you said!” His eyes shone red, and, as he finally got to the bottom of the hill, he sprinted towards other boogeys with a maniacal laughter, ready to wreak havoc on this server, since it desperately needed it.

————————————————

Still standing near the bed shrine, Cleo overheard most of Joel’s conversation with himself. He sounded cheerful, but there was a deep, underlying sadness to his voice, as he spoke to the nothingness of the night. From what they could hear, he was speaking to Lizzie, and had Cleo not known that he already failed his task, they would’ve almost assumed it was the same deal as Tango had with Torchy. But no, it wasn’t his task, it was him talking to his dead wife as if she was still here. As if they were bantering about life, about death and everything in between.

Cleo almost felt like they intruded, but Joel was not quiet in his conversation, and if it’s his way to cope with grief… Well, Cleo can’t do anything about this. Everyone grieves in their own way.