#feeling very sentimental about a lot of things rn so obviously i had to make art

[hamstermicrowave]

"If you love me, Henry, you don't love me in a way I understand."

thinking about Wishbone by Richard Siken

[txttletale]

idk how to put this sorry if this comes off as rude/confrontational I'm not trying to be — when you say stories about forgiveness/reconciliation, do you mean more the type about forgiving & reconciling with family, or more generally (so like including - this isn't the best example but I can't think of any better rn - catra for example? where it's about being trapped in hurting people because of trauma and breaking out of that)? or is the thing you dislike more stories' framing of forgiveness as a moral imperative?

sorry if this doesn't make sense I'm just curious what you think bc you've raised some interesting points and would really like to see you elaborate on them

don't worry you don't come off as rude whatsoever! while i think my points apply broadly to how forgiveness is treated across media (rare actual example of cultural christianity) -- i obviously am not, like, against forgiveness or stories about forgiveness on principle. what i dislike about all the narratives about people forgiving their abusive parents is that:

like you said, it's always framed as a moral imperative. there is always an underlying assumption that forgiving the abuser is the 'right' and 'correct' thing to do, that not doing so would be wrong. this is tremendously insulting to survivors who have every right to not forgive their abusers!

in most of these narratives, the parent barely does shit to be forgiven. there's very often a narrative equivocation, in fact, between parent and child. like, sometimes the parent won't even be expected to apologize -- sometimes, even more grotesquely, both the parent and child apologize for their shared supposed 'wrongdoing'. this is also obviously insulting to survivors, who are not in any way responsible for their abuse or for having a poor relationship with their parents.

the reason why this in particular pisses me off so much is that it mirrors and in turn contributes to the cultural expectation on abuse victims in real life to maintain contact with their abusers, the constant casual pressure from everything from strangers to friends to acquaintances saying 'well, can't you just put it behind you?' or 'look, he's changed' or 'she's your mom' or 'you'll only have one chance to have a relationship with your siblings' or whatever the fuck. the sanctity of the family is a cardinal value across a lot of societies and this sanctity means a constant, neverending societal pressure to bow to sweeping abuse under the rug. i've seen many people i care about struggle deeply with feeling obligated to maintain relationships with family members who treat them like shit and make htem miserable every time they interact bc of exactly these sorts of sentiments being everpresent in their cultural environment. & these narratives always paint that sort of pressure as being well-founded and fair and ultimately for the better, which is absolutely repellent to me.

so, yeah. i am not against narratives where an abusive person actually confronts their actions and changes and repairs that relationship (that's another fucking thing, these narratives always put the onus and responsiblity on the character who was abused to forgive rather than on the abuser to earn forgiveness, just like in real life familial abuse victims are always fucking expected to be the ones to repair the relationship). i think such narratives can be powerful and compelling and explore questions of what the value of 'forgiveness' or 'redemption' even are, as well as dispel the mystique and exceptionalism often attributed to the 'abuser' as a holistic malevolent figure that can be cleanly separated from every other parent/grandparent/sibling/etc.

what i'm against is narratives where someone who is abused has their feelings delegitimized -- their rage is wrong, counterproductive, they need to let go and move on, they need to forgive their abusers and let them back int otheir lives because oh, they did something wrong too or oh, their abuser had a difficult life, or whatever the fuck. to which the answer should be a flat -- no. they don't. all the more power to people who choose to do that if that's what makes them happiest and safest but absolutely nobody has a moral obligation or need to forgive an abusive family member. obviously i am exaggerating slightly when i say every abusive parent subplot should end with the parent being killed with hammers, but i'm using the hammer murder as a synechdoche for a narrative treating an abuse victim's antipathy towards their abuser as something legitimate and justified and obviously reasonable rather than a flaw or something they need to move past.

[langernameohnebedeutung]

Not sure if you're the right person to ask this but since you've been the only one on my dash talking about the things happening in chess rn - why the fuck are chess tournaments even separated by gender?! Like, genuinely. I can guess that it started that way thanks to misogyny and "conservative values" or some shit but nowadays? The separation in physical sports still makes sense because men do tend to have an advantage over women statistically speaking, that's all fine and dandy. But in CHESS? w h y?

Okay, this is the right ask now:

I mean, it's a difficult subject. Historically, chess was treated a "male" game, so boys were trained more thoroughly, more professionally, in far greater numbers which means that chess was largely a male sphere (which, obviously and as usual, led to the common interpretation that women are less capable at playing chess because 'hey, if they were, they WOULD be playing chess, what do you mean context matters lol' which further alienated young women and further cemented the idea of chess as a male sphere and hey, what's the point of training women to begin with).

This also had a political component: In some countries, chess was a national sport, in others it plays a minor role - which also translates into different average Elo rankings per country (so unless anyone thinks people in the Soviet Union had a magical chess gene, I think we can safely assume that training as many people as possible in chess translates into a high chance of ending up with a significant number of very good chess players. And those findings we can also apply to he gender disparity.) This also led to the usual sense of entitlement among male chess players that chess is 'for them' and that women trying to get into the game are somehow corrupting the dignity of the game or being intruders or just generally are not to be welcomed. This is something you historically often see when a space was opened to women like the first female university students who experienced a bunch of harassment at the hands of their male peers)

So all of this resulted in a scenario where a lot of male chess players were openly resentful against female chess players (translating into adverse playing conditions for female players), women on average had a disadvantage due to many of them not receiving the same training as their male counterparts (which results in lower Elo rankings) as well as the collective numerical disadvantage because men outnumbered women 16:1, which means that in pretty much any competition, the odds of a man winning were 16x higher than the chance of a woman winning.

So as a solution, the female world championship was established. And real talk, I don't have an issue with that. As I said, in chess, there are no physical denominators that would make a more sensible categorisation to even the playing field. It is also a game designed to leave little to no room for luck to determine the outcome. Women are still free to participate in the "regular" Chess World Championship, it is not restricted to men only the way most physical sports are. So this is mostly about representation and honestly, from that angle, I do understand the desire to show young girls that chess isn't a "male" thing and that they too can win and that there is a community of like-minded women (which is something I think is especially important for young girls that weren't made to feel welcome in the chess playing spaces in their direct environment). Although my long-term hope would definitely be that one day, we a) do something about misogynistic discrimination women experience in general chess and b) that enough young girls receive the training and the encouragement to play chess that one day, this whole thing is no longer an issue. Right now, the surge of chess in popularity among kids, I see that as a huge chance! This is great and I hope this causes a shift in sentiment!

(Another exception: Men and women also compete together in the equestrian categories in the Olympics. Except here with women significantly outnumbering men)

The thing is, I have yet to see any explanation for stripping trans men of their titles when they transition or stripping trans women of titles AND banning them from women's competitions that isn't…just about being a dick and harassing and humiliating trans people. Especially when the FIDE wants to document this (which btw would be highly dangerous for trans people from certain members states). Not to mention a bunch of misogynistic implications to boot by pretending that AFAB people don't have a chance against AMAB people one-on-one.

This is just bullying, plain and simple.

[weekend-whip]

So everyone knows that Cole has a thing for Zane expect the nindroid himself right? But they also tease him when Jesse so are there shippers in they're groups or is it just teasing?

I thiiiiink I talked about this before, but I can’t find the post so here we go again!!!

Jay: Was oblivious about Glacier at first but after winding up as a “third wheel” pretty often in the early days, gradually started to pick up on what was going on lol. The teasing for Jesse is just that until Jesse directly mentions to him that he does have an interest in Cole, which slightly shifts Jay into shipper territory for Aftershock. He relates to the feeling of “aiming out of your league” snksnk

Kai: Had Glacier and Aftershock nailed down at like, first hunch, but is torn between wanting Cole to go for the thing he wants or to try for a thing that already makes him pretty happy (which are sentiments Jay shares as well). Tends to be more on Team Glacier however, which is in part what leads to him and Jay (eventually) making The Bet. Still teases Jesse because he knows it’ll get a reaction ;P

Zane: Entirely oblivious to Cole’s affections, just happens to think Cole is a very affectionate and physical kinda guy, rip. Is slow to catch onto Aftershock, but he does gradually begin to pick up on it (and is for it, as he thinks they’re good for each other, but isn’t necessarily on the level of ‘shipper’, and doesn’t want to interfere unless directly confronted anyway. He minds his business.)

Nya: Teases Cole about Jesse, but it’s very lighthearted with no weight behind it. Otherwise has ZERO idea of what is actually going down here. It’s all literally going over her head (not her fault, girl’s got a lot going on rn) and, uh…that’s not a future plot point or anything.

Lloyd: As we know, clocked Jesse first meeting lmao, thus starts off rooting for Aftershock. However, is entirely blindsided by Cole’s crush on Zane (because, similar to Lou, doesn’t personally witness any of it until way after the fact) and then becomes conflicted. Doesn’t “tease” so much as state facts lmao

Antonia: Obviously Team Aftershock, but is probably the only one that fully realizes that Zane doesn’t even know he’s part of a triangle here lmao, hence why she’s always encouraging Jesse that there’s still hope. Teases to encourage Jesse to go for it already

Harumi: Is aware of both parties but isn’t actively nor overly invested in either. She does, however, ship the Black Ninja with the Fuchsia Ninja at one point or another. Teases both parties strictly because she finds it amusing.

TL;DR: Everyone is aware of Glacier except Nya, Zane, and currently Lloyd; Everyone is aware of Aftershock except Nya and currently Zane…and Cole lmao.

[golbrocklovely]

it’s so weird that stas is only ever really in vegas with kat when snc leave lol. just a year ago those 4 were the best of friends and now they’re rarely in the same place together anymore

maybe i’m jumping the gun and speaking too soon and stas will still be there when snc return but 🤷‍♀️

it’s strange to see people still hung up on tc4 this tc4 that when they’re barely friends anymore

“burns half as long when it’s twice as bright” comes to my mind when i think of tc4. they were EVERYWHERE together for a year or so and they had traditions (spending a couple months in vegas together) and it was just the 4 of them for a while. now only 2 or 3 hang out at a time. it’s lowkey sad but i felt they were kind of too close… like they were isolating themselves from everyone else. they all seem to have good friendships with other people now which is why i don’t feel so bad. sorry if this is really long lol i just had to get my thoughts out after seeing kat and stas’ stories

i think the downfall of their group was a mix of things.

mostly, i think it was stas catching feelings for colby. she did a lot of questionable shit when she caught feelings for him that i think left a bad taste in his mouth, and thus caused them all to split slowly but surely.

bc she wanted to live in this fantasy where she was y/n and her life was a fanfic with colby in it, and she just took it too far. once the malishka shit happened, i think that was the turning point for colby. bc right around that time he started deleting comments about her and him together (even did the same for him and shea which was very surprising) and constantly saying "i'm single, i don't want a gf, i'm not dating anyone rn" when stas was trying to make it seem like the opposite was true.

and my thing is, i don't fault her for having feelings towards colby. i've been there many times before. but, to get upset at a guy that has never shown interest in you for not reciprocating your feelings back is just weird. not to mention her constantly telling fans in gcs about stuff….. it's no wonder things ended the way they did.

is it possible that there is a lot we don't know that happened bts? of course. i don't pretend to know the whole picture. hell, we probably only know a piece of the puzzle. but it's clear to me that colby had to put his foot down and put some distance between him and her. and that was the first time he's had to do that bc god knows colby doesn't like anything negative or having to stick up for himself (which i'm just gonna assume he sees as negative).

that's why for a while it was just kat hanging out with stas. and i think as time goes on, i think the whole group will come back around. i don't see them being as close as they once were, but i can see them being able to hang out all once again (i mean, they technically already did for when we were young and sort of on colby/stas' bday lol). bc even tho colby put some distance between him and her, i don't think he hates her or anything like that. i think he just needed distance. and obviously kat still likes her, and sam doesn't really have an opinion unless kat tells him to so i'm gonna assume he also likes her.

and while i don't agree with the sentiment that they were all never really that close to begin with and she was just kat's friend that tagged along bc kat was lonely, while that last part is true, i do think they were all close at one point. which is why i think they haven't hung out as a group since. when a problem arises in a group, it's gonna take some time to heal from it. also, snc are on their grind rn, colby has more important shit to worry about, so repairing a friendship is probably last on the list.

i think they were the type of group that did well in positive situations, if that makes any sense. they were down for the partying, they were down for the festivals, for the drinking, for the staying up late and going to vegas and ghost hunting and all that good stuff. i had friends similar to that in college. but when the party was over… what exactly did we have in common? we never hung out sober, or if we did the vibe just wasn't the same. clearly, in a party we were awesome and it was fun. but when the morning would come, we were sorta strangers in the end bc we just never got deep on that level.

while i do think tc4 were friends, i do think that once things got "negative", so to speak, that's when they stopped thriving. and that's when they couldn't be friends anymore.

i honestly think that they just need time, and they could all be friends again. it might take a bit of time, but i won't be surprised if later this year they're all hanging out somewhere or ghost hunting. like i said in a previous ask forever ago, i'll be very surprised if stas isn't in some video of snc's.

but who knows? maybe i'm just an optimist and they'll never all hang out again as a group lol tbh i don't care either way.

[spring-lxcked]

finshed ru.in so. thoughts. putting it under a readmore!! (apologies if it shows up without one at first, tumblr is doing the thing where it deletes readmores again :/)

ending was uh. abrupt and unsatisfying. also answered exactly zero of the questions i had because, like, it was abundantly obvious it wasn't gre.gory the whole time and was probably the game introducing it's version of the mim.ic

not actually shocked by grego.ry's betrayal (if it even was really him because why would he have control of the elevator?) based on the main game, but i know some ppl must be v unhappy rn

fn.af making me cry like??????????????? sorry but i genuinely cried abt ro.xy don't look at me

on one hand disappointed that the mim.ic was All It Was, on the other glad i don't have to fucking hear people claim glitch/burn is the mim.ic anymore (i hope) LMAO

game did get glitchier with time (two crashes, namely) but still better than main game

okay positive positive positive because the ending and the music me.n part were the only bad parts imo

the creepy objective descs were SO good. "That mask suits you." "Don't you care about your friend? Why aren't you trying harder?" "Don't think about it, just do it."

animatronic jumpscares were SO GOOD like. i think because most of the scares were primarily not the death jumpscares, it gave them leeway to give us the best death jumpscares of the entire franchise

so like. the rabbit when you're using the mask was obviously glamr.ock bon.nie trying to stop cas.sie from freeing the mim.ic, right? i strongly disagree with the sentiment that it was glitch, that makes little to no sense to me

so we agree that illusion disks are canon to security bre.ach (i personally don't think they are in the other games but it's debatable) right? we agree that we don't know that ANY of what cas.sie was seeing without the mask or with it was real right? we agree the mask wasn't literally making her teleport through solid objects right? we agree that we actually have no idea that anything we saw or heard was accurate to reality right?

the candy cad.et story GODS are we ready for 3000 theories abt exactly what that meant because i do NOT think it was abt them mim.ic—

cas.sie lore has me half-considering adding her to the multi

van.ni mask ambience was creepy but also jesus christ the theorists are gonna have a field day with some of that whispering and screaming

me going from "don't understand why rox.y is so popular" to "i would die for rox.y immediately" (tbf i really didn't feel hype for anyone in the main game, which i think says a lot. ru.in handled characters a LOT better and i actually cared about them)

am i crazy or cas.sie and michael parallels?? i just kept getting that Vibe idk

we need to talk abt the claim that va.nni masks were used by all class v technicians. do i believe this? not sure but it's a concept i have GOT to hear more abt

btw i do know there's other endings but i think the normal ending is probably canon

this dlc had no effect on my canon, i already assumed glitch was no longer in the pizzeria/etc (i don't think the rabbit was glitch + the animatronics clearly were acting of their own volition)

i know i absolutely didn't find all the secrets but like. unless there's something major i missed (very very very possible), i'm still sad we didn't get more info on the greg.ory being a robot theory. outside of when i'm interacting with definitely human!gre.gorys on here, my william making the blueprint for gre.gory is an important part of his canon to me

anyway, despite any complaints i may have abt the ending, ru.in proved that ste.el wool is more than capable of listening to criticism and doing better and that makes me so, so happy

hey hi i want to make a million security br.each / ru.in verses now. how can i force my actual william into this, guys—? yes i know i said i want him canonly dead, AU verses doN'T COUNT

WHO IS BEHIND THE PIZZAPL.EX I AM STILL INSANE ABOUT THIS WHO IS BEHIND IT

[zushimart]

hi idk if this is a weird ask or not bc im half asleep but i just wanted to say that i started following u on my old blog in late 2022 like maybe december and your posts about bpd scara made me feel so seen. i wasn't diagnosed then but it was recently on the table as a diagnosis for me all of a sudden and it was terrifying because i feel like pwbpd are demonized and hated everywhere i look. and just like scrolling thru ur bpd scara tag was like looking at a diary of my own mind or smth. so it was really new to me to see someone talk about borderline as something that brings love and pain into our lives and not just as some scary evil-people diagnosis. like ur definitely my fav writer on this app by far but also u make me feel really validated in my emotions i guess? wow idk sorry like i actually have no idea how to describe it but hopefully u can read minds ‼️ 🤞 i have since been diagnosed with bpd with a criteria score of 9/9 so 😳 idk where id be rn in september 2023 if i hadn't sort of started to learn to love myself from your writings exploring a character. so yea this is probably a strange ask so feel free to ignore it. also im going on anon bc im scared of interacting w ppl. ALSO U R SO FUNNY ND YOUR HUMOR/RANDOM FUNNY TAGS FEEL SO SIMILAR TO MY INTERNAL MONOLOGUE

this is such an open & genuine thing to say to me . i like had to sit with it for a second because it was so .. idk like how to communicate it . my devaluation of ths blog is pretty frequent, treating it sort of like a big boy version of the 2000s children’s diaries with locks.. my thoughts tossed in here nd piled nd piled nd piled, endlessly messy. nd it objectively is a writing blog , like yeah, on a surface level, i own& maintain a writing blog, but i would never tell people that. when people ask my hobbies i always say writing & ill show them my poetry pieces but i never tell them i have a blog because im kind of embarrassed by the very seriously delusional self indulgence i pour into this thing . but then i hear about.. like, for ex. we learned ab and have to maintain our own commonplace book in class, which is essentially where people collected anything and everything they felt needed to be archived from their day and tucked it into the pages of a journal . like how thomas jefferson’s commonplace book will have his serious philosophical & political ramblings side by side a recipe for cornbread because it was just a place to put everything big & small . the practical & the theoretical. just, whatever Means something to u. and leisure, indulgence, pleasure r concepts just as important as virtues imo. anyway i say all this to say that what u said to me makes me want to treat everything better, even this place. it like, makes me feel really proud of my writing& analyses that i might normally b quick to label as inconsequential or childlike because im scared people will think i care too much about something so culturally insignificant. but i do care!! obviously!! a lot. i was like kind of bummed today for a number of reasons frm feeling a bit isolated to feeling like living out my principles& ideals (connecting w community, peer centered thinking etc etc) is almost impossible because im sooo freaking shitty at social convention. so when u sent this in & i read it, it was almost like when ur spacing out nd someone snaps 🫰🫰 in front of ur face to get ur attn. so busy trying 2 b significant to someone to realize that u Already are significant in a myriad of little ways. that it’s not something u search for or insert urself into but rather an inevitable outcome of existing. Anyway . not to b sentimental but i wanted 2 b as candid with u because i really did think it was sweet of u to share & im really happy that i was able 2 positively shape & support a little space of ur life because really thats all i ever want to do. Soooooooooo if ur ask was weird then my response is even weirder. Handwritten thank u:

[sassyhobbits]

hi julia 💙 tinder au? i have just fallen in love with it

ok yall. here it is. the highly requested and long awaited tinder au. i probably have like 20 messages on my inbox rn asking for this.

anyway, here's day 3 for yall!! enjoy!!

pt 1 // pt 2 // pt 3 // pt 4

~~~

Rowan Whitethorn was the mastermind behind his own misery.

He had been kicking himself for his stupidity for the past week, ever since that godsdamned wedding he had gone to with Aelin. The event had confirmed his suspicions: he liked Aelin Galathynius. A lot.

And it was his own fault that he hadn’t asked her out.

He had been the one to say that they should remain coworkers and nothing more. He had just been so shocked to see the woman he had matched with on Tinder at his place of employment he hadn’t really known what to do. So, he said something foolish.

For a while now, Rowan’s attraction towards Aelin had been growing. It had been easy to ignore at first, brushing it off and contributing it to the fact that she was a pretty woman. But, even in those months where Aelin had enraged him, she still managed to enthrall him. He thought about her smile far too often. About the dusting of freckles on the bridge of her nose, the sound of her laugh, the smell of her perfume. Mostly, he thought about the dances that they had shared at that wedding. A small taste of what could have been if Rowan hadn’t been such a rutting idiot.

If he could take back that foolish decision, he would.

Now, his choice haunted him everyday. He would watch Aelin at work, see other men and women give her appreciative looks and flirty smiles, leaving Rowan in a constant state of morbid anticipation, waiting for the day she reciprocated some of that attention and he would be left behind.

Rowan lingered by the personal training desk, knowing he should be planning the workouts for his clients for the week, but his attention was pinned across the gym. Aelin was working today with a new client that he had never seen. He was in his mid-twenties, tall, blonde. Good looking, and obviously very smitten with his trainer. Rowan ground his jaw as the man sent a charming smile to Aelin. He wished her back wasn’t turned towards him so he could have seen how she responded.

“Keep on clenching your jaw like that and you’re going to break a tooth,” a feminine voice said teasingly.

Rowan tore his gaze away from Aelin, finding Lysandra leaning against the desk, ivory cheeks flushed pink from her own workout.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Lysandra scoffed and rolled her eyes at the obvious lie. “You may be fooling yourself, Rowan Whitethorn, but you’re sure as hell not fooling me.”

Rowan pressed his lips together tightly, looking back at his clipboard and trying to ignore the woman beside him. However, that wasn’t suitable for Lysandra.

“If you ask her out she’ll say yes,” she said casually.

Rowan scoffed. “She seems perfectly happy with that pretty-boy over there.”

“She’s settling for that pretty boy over there because you aren’t giving her the attention she deserves.”

Rowan sighed and looked back at the woman beside him dryly. Her dark brows were narrowed, lips pinched in annoyance. It was clear she wasn’t happy with him.

“Listen, Rowan,” she continued, “I’m not going to tell you what to do. But I will tell you that if you don’t get your shit together and finally ask Aelin out, she’s going to move on. And you’re going to make yourself extra miserable.”

Rowan didn’t have a response for that, simply holding Lysandra’s gaze more a moment longer before she stomped away towards the locker rooms, leaving him alone at the desk.

Deep down, he knew that she was right. Just watching Aelin conversing and mildly flirting with another man was driving him crazy. He didn’t know how he’d feel if she actually returned one of her many admirers' sentiments. Pissed off, most likely, that he had missed his chance. And that he had no one to blame but himself.

That was likely the thing that had been holding him back for so long. Admitting that he had been wrong. Gods, there was nothing worse. Absolutely nothing.

Rowan didn’t want to admit that he was biding his time, but he was. Waiting for Aelin to be finished with her client so that he could make his move. And potentially suffer a thorough tongue-lashing from the object of his desire. He couldn’t imagine that she would find it amusing that he was coming crawling back after being the one to request the space between them in the first place.

After what felt like an eternity, Aelin and her client finally made their way off the gym floor. They stood not too far away from him, but with the music and the sound of others chatting, he couldn’t really hear what they were saying. He pretended he didn’t notice them, anyway.

Eventually, they said their goodbyes, the man sending Aelin one last flirty smile until he swaggered off in the direction of the locker rooms.

Luckily for him, Rowan didn’t even have to muster up the courage to go up to Aelin. She instead came over to him, leaning over the desk and grabbing her own clipboard. What pissed him off was that she barely even seemed to notice him.

“Hey,” she breathed casually, jotting something down.

“Hello, Galathynius.” Good gods, why did he sound so stiff?

He waited a few more heartbeats, hoping that she would strike up a conversation, but she was terribly focused on whatever it was that she was writing.

Rowan quickly grew tired of waiting.

“Are you going out with that guy?”

Aelin’s pen froze mid stroke, and Rowan’s instincts told him that he had said something wrong, and danger was lurking near. She looked up to him, a wicked tilt to her golden head.

“Would it be a problem if I was?” she drawled.

Rowan ground his jaw, refusing to back down at the fire in her eyes. “Don’t go out with him.”

Aelin blinked once before scoffing. She tossed her clipboard to the side, spreading in legs in what Rowan could only describe as a fighting stance and crossing her arms over her chest. “You cannot be serious right now.”

Rowan stood straighter. “I’m completely serious. Don’t go out with him.”

“You must be smoking something if you think you have any say over who I do or do not go out with.” She pointed a well-manicured finger at him. “Let me remind you that you were the one who said we should just be coworkers.”

“Believe me, I remember.”

“Then what changed your mind so suddenly? Huh?”

“You did, Aelin.”

For once, it didn’t seem that Aelin had a snappy response up her sleeve for this one. Rowan seized the rare moment of silence, taking a deep breath to steel himself before moving closer and continuing.

“Aelin… I really like you,” he began. “I have since we met. Before that, even. I had been so excited to meet you in person after talking that night and then you were here and you were my coworker and I… I reacted stupidly.”

Aelin’s lips were pressed together tightly, a sign that she wouldn’t interrupt until he said what he had to say.

“I was afraid of what might happen if something went wrong,” Rowan admitted. “If we went out and you realized you didn’t like me as much as I liked you, and I had to see you every day at work and be reminded of that. I was a coward because I didn’t want to face that particular torture. But… I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. And I know that if I never admitted it, I would regret it for the rest of my life.”

There were a few moments of painful silence as Aelin considered his words.

“So, what?” Aelin said. “You just expect me to jump into your arms now that you decided you were finally ready to grow a pair and ask me out? You think I was just going to wait for you?”

“No. I know you’d never wait for a man. I know that you’re strong and independent. I’d never expect that from you but…” Rowan reached out slowly, taking her hand into his and giving her fingers a firm squeeze. “I hope that you’ll be able to forgive my stupidity and let me take you out on a real date soon.”

For a few, too long heartbeats, Aelin stared down at where he held her hand. Rowan had never felt more nervous than he had in that moment. It was maddening.

But, she eventually tilted her head up, and her face had softened, a smile on those full lips of hers. She gave his hand a squeeze.

“Gods, I thought you would never ask.”

It was Rowan’s turn to smile, beaming at the woman before him. “So, that’s a yes?”

She nodded once. “It is. You can pick me up at eight tonight. I expect something nice, I want to dress up.”

“I look forward to it.”

Aelin laughed, a beautiful sound, before she closed the distance between them and brushed a soft kiss against his cheek, thoroughly stunning him as she slipped away, smiling at him the entire time.

“And don’t forget the flowers,” she called, striding across the gym. “Kingsflame are my favorite.”

“Noted.”

Aelin held his gaze for another wonderful moment before she turned, striding over to meet with a woman he recognized as one of her regular clients. Once he was sure she was no longer watching, he brushed his fingers over the spot where she had kissed him which still burned pleasantly.

He would make sure everything went perfectly tonight. There was no way in hell that he would mess it up and ruin his chance with this amazing woman. Aelin was unlike anyone he had ever met before.

He knew one thing for sure. Aelin Galathynius was the one for him.

[waveypedia]

Leaving the Nest

Companion piece to The Family We Make (can be read in any order)

Ao3

Granny’s posture is as immaculate as always, but her knuckles grip the pan just a little too tight. To an outsider, she would seem the perfect picture of serenity, but Webby knows the tells that give her away too well.

Of course she does. Granny is Webby’s favorite person in the entire world.

Webby’s family has grown and grown over the last few years, and she wouldn’t trade that for the world. But if it came down to it, Granny is more her family than anyone else. Even the boys. Even Dad.

“Dear, I think we should talk about… the other day,” Granny trails off, awkward and lame. It would be disorienting to see Granny, normally so put-together and articulate, struggling with words. But a couple days ago, Webby saw her chained and captured, crying and beaten, forced to spill her darkest secrets and then knocked out. Manipulated. Nothing Granny does can faze her in quite the same way.

Webby takes a deep breath. “I… I think so too,” she says. “But, honestly, I don’t have anything to say. You’re my Granny.”

Granny’s shoulders slump in relief before she catches herself, her decades of SHUSH training snapping in, and she reorients herself to her ever-present poker face. 

“I’m not, you know,” Granny says quietly, her voice full of shame. Webby stiffens, and glances away before Granny can see the tears pooling in her eyes. “I- I stole you from a SHUSH compound. The photos you have of your parents were a lie. Just another lie among many.”

“I don’t care,” Webby snaps, with more anger in her voice than she intended. But as soon as the words are out of her mouth, she realizes that she truly does feel that anger. Not towards Granny herself, but towards the notion that Granny isn’t her grandmother.

“You’re my grandmother,” Webby declares passionately. “I don’t care if you’re not related to me. I don’t care if I’m a clone of Dad. You stole me from a FOWL compound because you cared about me from the moment we met. You gave up your entire life and a career you’d been working towards for decades for me. You raised me. You locked yourself in the mansion to keep me safe. You’re my grandmother.”

“I’m happy to hear that, dear,” Granny says in the softest of whispers. “More than you could ever know.” Webby thinks she hears Granny’s voice catch, but she can’t be certain. 

“But I lied to you, even after I promised I wouldn’t,” Granny continues, her tone more subdued. She crosses her hands in her lap, making a controlled effort to smooth them out. “You have every right to be angry with me.”

Webby reaches forward and takes her grandmother’s hand in both of hers. “I do,” she agrees. Granny’s head snaps up and she stares at Webby, eyes wide. Webby shrugs nonchalantly, shoulders loose, emulating Louie’s calculated facade of easy calm without realizing it. “But that’s not the kind of person I am, Granny.”

Webby glances away, pursuing her lips. She can’t bear to watch Granny’s face twist in pain. “I… I am frustrated that you lied to me and broke your promise,” she says slowly, haltingly, choosing her words carefully. She’s walking a thin line, basically a tightrope with no net, of expressing her feelings and not upsetting her Granny. “Just don’t do it again, please.”

Granny’s face softens. “Of course, Webby dear. No more secrets.” 

She reaches out to hug Webby, and Webby obliges, but she says stiff. “That’s what you said last time,” Webby mutters into Granny’s shoulder. Her words are almost too soft to be heard, but judging by the way Granny stiffens, she does.

Granny pulls back, her hands still on Webby’s shoulders. She opens her mouth a few times, frantically searching for words, some kind of placating promise that she didn’t already break.

 “You’re right. Of course,” Granny acquiesces at last, hanging her head. Strands of grey hair drip out of her bun by the pull of gravity. Webby swallows thickly, bile pooling in her throat. Granny is reacting perfectly, yet all she does is remind Webby of when they were stuck together in a dark FOWL interrogation room, a wall of pain and deception painfully thick between them.

Webby reaches out a small hand to touch Granny’s shoulder. “Granny, please,” she whispers. She’s not sure if Granny understands the true meaning behind her plea in its entirety, but she pulls herself back together nonetheless. For a few minutes, silence hangs between them. It’s not a comfortable silence, but it’s not stifling, either. It’s just… anticipatory.

“I can’t simply promise that I won’t lie to you anymore,” Granny says at last. Her voice is quiet and subdued, but honest and vulnerable. It’s open in a way Granny rarely is. “But I will do better from now on. I’ll prove my sentiments through actions, not empty promises.”

Webby smiles gratefully. It’s not her usual wide, face-splitting grin, but it’s soft and vulnerable, with layers and meaning behind it. “Thanks. I… I want to know things. About SHUSH. Classified things. The parts of my past you could never tell me, and new information, too.”

Granny’s gaze shoots away. “I-I can’t,” she replies immediately, and Webby’s heart drops. It must show in her face, because Granny’s own twists with guilt. 

“I- Well- I suppose I did just promise to, didn’t I,” Granny says, half to herself, with a small chuckle. There’s little humor behind it, but it’s fond. “I will do my best, Webbigail. But please understand that there is some SHUSH information that is simply beyond my classification to give you.”

“I understand,” Webby says simply. “But the information you can give me… I want to know, Granny.”

Granny’s fists clench and unclench in her lap. Webby knows how uncomfortable and out of her depth she must feel. She protected Webby with her life for years by hiding these secrets, and it takes time to undo such habits. But she’s trying, and that’s all that Webby cares about. 

“Do you remember the day I met the boys?” Webby asks, her voice lighter and more casual than she feels. There’s a pit of fear steadily growing in her stomach, but her voice is blessedly steady. 

Granny’s smile is small but fond. “You snuck out,” she replies, a hint of reproach in her voice, but no malice. It’s a wound long since healed, leaving only a soft scar as a reminder that it existed at all. “You ignored my number one rule and left the mansion for the very first time.”

“Yeah, and it was new and scary,” Webby replies lightly, ignoring the jab. “But you let me go, because you knew it was for the best. Because I was growing up.”

“Because Mr. McDuck could keep you safe,” Granny adds pointedly, but she’s smiling, if a bit pained.

“Yeah, and he did! I’m fine, Granny. Besides, I can keep myself safe.”

“Tell that to the you that landed yourself in FOWL headquarters with all your allies captured and no real clue what was in store for you,” Granny quips. “My worst nightmare, come alive right in front of my eyes.”

“I’m sorry,” Webby mutters, dropping her gaze to her feet. “But hey, if you’d told me the truth, maybe I wouldn’t have been so misinformed.”

Granny dips her head. “You make a good point. I concede that one.”

“Anyway, that’s just what this is like,” Webby continues. “It’s a big change. But it’s a necessary one. I’m ready for this, Granny.  You are too. And in time, this’ll feel completely normal, and we’ll have forgotten what it was like to live like we are.”

Granny is silent for a few moments. Webby glances up, nervous, only to find Granny smiling proudly, and wiping a small tear away under her glasses.

“Webby, dear, you are so wise,” she says, her voice thick. Webby’s heart clenches. “Aren’t I the one supposed to give you the deep, heartfelt talks and inspire you, and not the other way around?”

Webby gives her a small smile. “You’ve done it before, Granny. Don’t sell yourself short.”

Granny sniffles rather uncharacteristically. Without warning, she lunges forward and scoops Webby up in a tight hug. “Oh, my dear,” Granny says, her voice choked with tears. “You are just lovely, you know that? How did I ever get so lucky to have you for a granddaughter?”

“Well, it’s partly because of you,” Webby says, smiling into her grandmother’s back. “You raised me.”

Granny nods into Webby’s shoulder. “And it was lovely.”

When Granny finally pulls back, she tugs Webby back to face her, her hands on Webby’s shoulders. “You’re growing up,” she says thickly. “Oh, Webbigail, I am so proud of you.”

Webby beams at her grandmother. “I’m proud of you, too.”

“Oh,” Granny says thickly, and hugs her again.

~

HEY REMEMBER WHEN I SAID I WOULD WRITE THE CONVERSATION WITH WEBBY AND BEAKLEY WELL HERE IT IS :D (rip my poor math homework i’ll be up all night finishing that ugh)

i wrote this in like,, 45 minutes because i had to get the few sentences i was thinking about down before i forgot them and just,, kept going lmao. rip the webby & lena convo story i’ve been chipping away at that is going absolutely nowhere rn. i’ll get to it

webby and beakley’s relationship is SO important to me. beakley literally gave up everything for webby. it’s so obvious how much beakley cares about her, but also,,, they had this entire episode about trusting each other and then beakley promises not to keep any more secrets from webby and she has absolutely zero intention of keeping it. that always gets me. especially since webby is one of the most trusting characters of all time and would never doubt her grandmother of all people after they made up. i’m not salting on beakley or anything, but it’s very interesting to think about going forward since beakley will obviously try to do better, especially once the major factor keeping her quiet is gone, but she really doesn’t have a leg to stand on since she broke her promise. definitely an interesting concept we should talk about more

we talk a lot about how scrooge never apologized to webby after telling her she wasn’t family in last crash of the sunchaser and she immediately forgave him. scrooge def should’ve apologized but it’s interesting to note that webby basically can’t and won’t hold a grudge for the life of her, at least when it comes to the people she cares about (she definitely can with goldie DJDFKLSLDF). it’s sweet. i imagine beakley feels incredibly guilty after the finale but webby’s just ready to move on and to enter a new chapter of their lives where they’re completely honest and open with each other. i don’t imagine she’s not upset at the deception, but she’s not mad.

also man that interrogation scene? that probably traumatized webby. man. what a shitty situation to be in i can’t even imagine.

beakley and webby’s relationship will always mean the world to me, especially with the added context of their backstory. beakley literally saw one (1) baby and was like i’m about to end this man’s (me) whole career LMAO. it’s incredible.

[forbidding-souda]

Byakuya, sakura, gundham, nekomaru and hagakure w/ a fem chubby reader?

Byakuya Togami, Sakura Oogami, Gundham Tanaka, Nekomaru Nidai, Gundham Tanaka, and Hagakure Yasuhiro with fem chubby S/O

I got you! I love these characters so much this will be a blast. AND IDK HOW I MISSED GUNDHAM MY BAD SO IF YOU’RE READING THIS RN I INCLUDED HIM!! I made his longer as an apology.

-Mod Souda

Byakuya Togami

Definitely the CEO of defending you against misguided people.

He won’t hesitate to diss anyone who is rude to you.

On other terms, though he is not into PDA, he definitely gives you the lightest of kisses on your forehead, his long fingers under your chin.

And nose kisses!

Gives you dresses and jewelry made specifically for you.

A lot of gifts. 

And he showers with you, because he likes being pristine, and he likes spending time with you at the same time.

Two birds one stone.

Will not allow pets into his house... unless it’s your favorite and it’s small than maybe.

Okay fine, he’ll buy you your favorite animal.

Anything to make you comfortable with his lifestyle.

Since he is the tier of his bloodline, he does get too many comments on the person he decided to be with.

He won’t hide you, though, under no regard.

Sakura Oogami

She gives you piggyback rides!

You drink a lot of smoothies and protein shakes with her. 

Milkshakes too, if you’re lucky.

When you’re tired, she’ll definitely carry you places.

She likes holding you close.

Sauna time is a must, too! It helps relax her.

Cuddles into your chest all the time, and when she sleeps she makes soft noises with her breath.

She has a soft place in her heart for partner shirts. She’s mine - I’m hers type beat.

Some of her clothes even fit you.

Doesn’t like to do activities that require laying down. Would much rather go on walks with you or get chalks to draw around the neighborhood.

Tries to cook with you. Doesn’t always work out, even though you are confident in your skills, somehow once you get next to her you get nervous.

You always ask for forehead kisses, since she is so tall, and it gives you butterflies.

She makes sure you are feeling okay all the time, giving you healthy drinks and taking care of you when you are sick.

Supports you all the time! And makes sure you know that she finds you attractive.

Nekomaru Nidai

Is not amused by comments of other people.

Because you are healthy, obviously, because being with the SHSL Team Manager includes listening to him rant about the most protein-filled foods and getting massages and other forms of muscular therapy.

Tries to get you to lift, though, because one time when he was moving in with you he handed you a box and you almost fell over.

He has a lot of friends, and meeting all of them nearly tires you out. All of them all grateful to him and treat you like royalty.

When they come over, they mostly give the gifts to you, which is hilarious to Nekomaru.

It was like having a whole new family!

He constantly makes sure to have time for you! If he travels, he tries to get you small trinkets or makeup, since he likes watching you put it on.

But you try to out-sweet him, leaving sticky notes everywhere, like to remind him to take his meds or simple I love you notes.

He is so wholesome!!

And again, he loves giving massages. Having you relax is his main goal, and just making you feel good makes him happy.

While cuddling he definitely nuzzles his head against you. And he definitely contorts into uncomfortable positions just to lay on you.

Gundham Tanaka

Helps you hang around his animals, even some of the ones you are scared of.

He is the biggest cuddler. He won’t admit it, though.

But he’ll definitely melt into your arms.

You wake up early with him every morning to help him feed all of the animals and take care of them. He appreciates the extra help, and it gives him more time in the day to hang out with you.

The house is always crowded since he moved in. 

Gundham never gets mad at you, never scolds you or insults you. He always maintains his caring demeanor, even if you mess up on anything.

You had to ask him out first, and when you did, he was blushing a deep pink color. He had never been asked out before.

And now he’s calm around you. He takes you to horse races and even one time, a pig race! It was the cutest thing with all the piglets in clothes.

Ever since then you’ve been trying to convince him to let you dress up the animals.

He lets you put ribbons in the horses hair but that’s about it.

... Except the dogs... he’ll let you dress up the dogs.

The cats too, if you’re lucky.

Sometimes he takes you on walks through the woods, too, and admires all the different bird types he sees. He can name them, easily!

It’s interesting to see him talk about his talent.

Refers to you with words like elegant queen of the light and mystical goddess, and even though you very much disagree, it’s a long more sentimental than words like sweetheart to you.

A long time will pass in the relationship before he lets you see him without the makeup, contacts, temporary tattoos, and the hair gel. Sharing a bed with him takes some time, too.

Sometimes he still can’t get over that he isn’t poisonous to the touch. You’ll cuddle him and it’ll spook him, until he assures himself that you are immune.

Watches cliche dog movies. Like Airbud, and he’ll pretend he hates it the entire time. Definitely enjoys it.

Does NOT enjoy Cugo. Very scary!!!! Dogs aren’t scary!!!!

Sometimes likes shark movies... thin ice, though.

You just love seeing his reaction to certain animal movies. It’s very entertaining what he says about them. You almost want to start a blog that’s just animal movies approved by the SHSL Animal Breeder.

Hagakure Yasuhiro

He is big boy!! Who loves snuggles very much!!

And he’s a hugger. He wraps his arms around you all the time.

Braiding your hair, offering to try and put makeup on you, he tries to get into all the things that you do. He even asks you to paint his nails.

Sometimes he’s too scared to read your fortune, in case it’s something bad. Even though he gets it right 30% of the time, and he knows he’s a scam, it’s the just in case.

Wakes up early to make you breakfast. And since he grew up basically on noodles, it’s not always the best thing.

You thank him nonetheless. He cares enough to surprise you.

He watches the oddest things on TV sometimes, things like horses jumping over hurdles. Is excited to talk about anything the things he watches. 

That’s because you always have an interest to rant about. And Yasuhiro isn’t always the most invested person, so he feels a little left out in the passionateness.

Doesn’t even second guess your body type, he just knows it’s you and he loves it.

Kisses you all the time, too. He loves any type of kiss!

He has the cutest puppy dog eyes ever when you guys cuddle.

All he loves is being with you and worshipping the way you are.

[hebescus]

remember this ship ask? yeah, i wanna do them all with lawlight bcs they control my brain. but it's a happy no death note au bcs it's me. oh and this shit is long plus it's 3 am rn so my words are very messy. but enjoy.

(i skip some numbers that i answered and the ones that i can't think of btw)

pre relationship :

How did they first meet?

L's investigation hq. he was a suspect of L, still, but this time he told soichiro to bring this 18 yo boy to the hq to test him, asking light to work with all of them. he ends up not guilty ofc, but L still wants to keep him…around.

What was their first impression of each other?

ah, the good old 'what the fuck dude???' from light and the 'oooh he got a big brain' from L. it's hard to get out of canon in this one.

Who felt romantic feelings first?

L. But it's more like thoughts, rather than feelings. It's just these random thoughts that pop out in his head like 'i don't mind kissing this guy, if he asks' but not like 'i want to kiss him' yknow what i mean? idk this is just something i experience a lot lmao. it develops to feelings once light falls for him and L can see that. So in terms of ideas, it's L, but in terms of feelings, it's Light.

Did either of them try to resist their feelings?

Oh our favorite light denial yagami. Of course he's cursing himself for having feelings like this but once L calls it out he's over. 

If you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think?

Light would laugh it off, and be like "i don't like him that way you know". L would shrugs be like "well yes that's possible, i don't think i mind". 

What would their lives be like if they had never met?

boring, lonely, empty, you name it

(more under the cut)

general :

Who initiated the relationship, and how did it go?

hmm, they both initiated the relationship? ykwim? They both notices they had feelings for each other and just...go from there. they never have like a relationship talk, they just go with the flow until at some point they starts to get comfortable to refer the other as partners. They basically can read each other's mind, after all.

Did they have an official first date? If so, what was it like?

Yes, sort of. A tennis game! And a coffee sesh after, just like canon. They plan this to be just "let's just relax, this case has been really exhausting, take a one day break, L" but when Light got home, sayu asked "how's the date going?!" He immediately said "it's not a date, you watch too many dramas it's rotting your brain" And sachiko gave him a smile while shaking her head at this statement and when he's back to his room he immediately calls L and was like "hey does that count as a date?" and L answers with "depends, do you want it to be?" with a smirk that light can hear.

What was their first kiss like?

it was late at night, light was helping L with the case when everybody went home. they were sharing their view about this certain criminal when light notices L staring at his lips, first he ignored it but it happens again and again to a point where their face just got real close and then...kiss, somehow. idk lmao.

Were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc.)?

First person who can understand each other and are equals, the only ones who can tear the other's wall down, and just practically soulmates in any form that even their sun & moon signs mirroring each other's? YES. 

What’s their height difference? Age difference?

i hc L as just a little bit taller than light, but it's not like you can see it through the hunch anyway. ofc we all know the 6 years and 4 months age gap

What’s their relationship with each other’s families?

Sayu likes L, Sachiko is kinda surprise Light doesn't date a typical pretty person, but it only makes her heart fonder. L doesn't mind them, he thinks they're nice, light grew up in a good place. Soichiro? Well, he might me a bit reluctant but he loosen up slowly, his son is happier than he ever was, after all.

Who takes the lead in social situations?

Light, obviously. Because he's a charmer and if L takes control, the person they speak to would run immediately the first 2 minutes.

Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear?

it is a universal knowledge that L does this. like, come on, count the fics, you can't, there's just so many. he loves to break that perfect wall and make light feel 🥴😳. it's entertaining. But he knows when to stop. too much of that will be embarrassing in light's part, and he respects his boy's dignity.

love :

Who said “I love you” first?

Light!! The thing is it was said over the phone. He gets more and more comfortable talking with L through calls, since every now and then L travel frok countries to countries. One time he just like "yeah, safe flight. love you, bye" he expected L to say goodnight to him as a response as usual but L was silent and he realised what he just said and realised that he fucking mean it. L seems to still be able to read his mind even thousands miles away so he replies with "i love you too, goodnight". they never missed seeing each other more than that night.

What are their primary love languages?

we had a discussion for this! but as we see in canon, they're both very acts of service with a little hint of physical touch here and there. quality time is also important. words and gift aren't really needed for them.

Who uses cheesy pick-up lines?

L. Only to annoy light. It's terrible that he almost cringed to himself, but it does bring a good laugh for light.

How often do they cuddle/engage in PDA?

PDA is a not their preference, they just love being in private more. They might hold hands sometimes, butmost times they won't. Altho they always stand or sit reaaaaally glued to each other even though there are so many space. 

Who initiates kisses?

both. they want it, they got it. but light gives light kisses (ha) more, not necessarily on the lips, usually when L was really busy working, keeping his feet on the ground.

Who’s the big and little spoon?

They don't spoon a lot, they prefer not touching at all or cufdling face to face, but when they do, Light is the little spoon because being a big spoon makes his sleeping position kinda uncomfy, he feels awkward with his legs, it's just not. thankfully L thinks cuddling light this way is very calming.

What are their favorite things to do together?

Tennis and solving cases, duh. Or sometimes they play video games fighting each other. Anything competitive and/or challenging that make their brain grow 10 times bigger. But sometimes, a comfortingly peaceful and quiet dinner with hushed words thrown here and there about random things feels like the best thing ever.

Who’s more protective?

L. For identity reasons, ofc.

Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?

Physical. They can read each other's mind, they knew it by gesture, touches, and glances. 

What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?

IT'S MY TIME TO SHINE. venus by sleeping at last fits them so well, that song is in the background of multiple cozy couch smooches sessions or even when they're slow dancing (please listen to this tho song it's so good). also i think they would like persephone by the tragic thrills too, L would be like "this song reminds me of you" and Light answers with "i'm persephone?" "Yeah" "i'm a fucking badass then" "yes you are". oh and first day of my life? lover of mine? pink in the night? sweet creature? the lakes? oh god i have too much answers

What kind of nicknames do they call each other?

they don't do nicknames, really. although, L sometimes called light with some snarky tony stark styled nicknames when he feels particularly playful but annoyed at the same time.

Who remembers the little things?

They both do. Big brained assholes they are.

domestic life :

If they get married, who proposes?

It's not really a proposal, they didn't  even remember who said it first. But one sleepy night after a hard case, someone said "hey you wanna get married" and the other was like "sure, why not" "really?" "yeah, i think i'm ready, you?" "me too" "great" and then they go to sleep. at breakfast the next morning L called watari from across the room and said "wammy i need you to prepare [enter marriage stuff here], and light, you must call your family after this". poor old watari chokes on his tea.

What’s the wedding like? Who attends?

The wedding is in a secluded little place near the wammy's house, L used to go there a lot as a kid. With just light's parents, sayu, and watari. Well, not until Light caught Mello, Matt, Near, and Linda peeping from the bushes

Do they have any pets?

A chunky cat the wammy's kids feed daily but never try to keep them in, because no animals are allowed inside the orphanage. L saw it and was like "light let's bring this bitch home" she is, indeed a little bitch, but light and L loves her dearly. her fur has light brown and black colors, like both of their hairs, so she becomes their daughter, L gave him a weird ass name but i can't think about it rn.

Who kills the bugs in the house?

Light because he's the one who's actually bothers to. They ofc annoyed L but he cpuldnt care less to actually get rid of them.

Who’s more likely to convince the other to come back to sleep in the morning?

L. He rarely sleeps and once he did, he wakes up very fucking late and will pull light back to the bed if he's woken up by the empty space beside him.

Who’s the better cook?

Light. L is a spoiled brat. But Light can't bale for shit, that's Watari's job. Light grow up learning and helping his mom making meals for the family. He's not the best, but it's good enough to make L craves them in between his sweets.

Who likes to dance?

None of them. But they would slow dance on rare, sentimental occasions. And it's like so fucking romantic bcs all the lights are off except for a candle or a table lamp or a cabinet lamp whatever that has yellow-y dim light. And they don't speak, they just casually move against each other, but heart ready to combust like i do when i the mental image came into my head.

[mousehole5000]

more tgcf chapters 143-173 lets goooooo

PEI MING BOO HISS except actually okay he’s mostly funny i think but still boo hiss

“hey who’s this guy who’s really pissed at you?” “oh thats my sword. i broke it.” alright then!

i think i need to go back and reread the banyue pass arc bc im still confused as to whats going on with banyue and pei su

“Banyue dropped from the sky with two pots raised. Without a word, she plummeted with the mouths of the pots facing down, trapping and detaining the shocked Ming’guang and the roaring Ke Mo within.” - THATS MY GIRL

“It must be known that, to heavenly officials, it certainly was more than natural for kingdoms of the mortal realm to fight and annihilate one another; the acts of these plays progressing on endlessly. But when it came their own turn, it was often hard to let things go. If one must stand in the same court as the one who annihilated their own kingdom, and that man cavorted in the heavens, exceedingly flashy, then it must be vexing.” - hmmmm!!

“I’ve spoken too many words in this lifetime. What are you referring to?” - okay to be fair thats a mood

okay its nice to get some pei ming backstory and its funny that he and xie lian are bonding but also still whenever pei ming interacts with a female character my hackles rise like a cat lol

“Xie Lian watched as Banyue thought really hard before cheerfully pulling out a few long, wine-red scorpion-snakes, and putting them into the bubbling pot.” - THATS MY GIRL

“Although “smell” was something colourless and formless, the instant Banyue removed the pot cover, it was as if some mysterious physical object had twisted all the air around the mouth of that pot. The group stared at the sight within the pot for a long time. Their pupils reflected an endless, bottomless darkness; like it could pull them into the abyss. No words could describe the sentiment expressed within their eyes. A moment later, Xie Lian patted Banyue’s shoulder and gave a thumbs-up.” - like father-figure like daughter-figure. amazing.

“However, what if one day mortals discovered something completely new that ran faster than horses? Then, when this new invention overtook horses, worshippers of this heavenly official who controlled horses would inevitably decrease. Such heavenly officials, flashing by like shooting stars, made up the majority of the heavens.” - obsessed with this, genuinely. life and change. worship and its purpose. my religious studies diploma on my wall is screaming at me rn. ALSO i am once again thinking about celebrities

“...” It was only then that Pei Ming seemed to notice, and started to contemplate this question. A moment later, he answered, “A habit. In a dark, creepy place like this, isn’t it normal to hold women in your arms, to comfort them and calm their fears?” “I’m sorry, but I wasn’t scared,” Banyue said.” - BANYUE I LOVE YOU. I MISSED YOU SO MUCH. god this takes me back to every college party i ever went to

LING WEN BACKSTORY????? shoeseller chosen for godhood bc she wrote a political essay and got arrested...... and now she’s face to face with the official who appointed her..... do go on.....

“Ling Wen laughed out loud, seeming to be enraged, and her voice dropped. “Very well! You said I couldn’t reach that high. Then, might I ask you: had the prominence of the Palace of Jing Wen at its peak ever reached even the knees of my Palace of Ling Wen??” - GET HIM!!!! BOO HISS JING WEN

“Compared to you, I’m not that bad,” Ling Wen said. “You’d personally order me to stay in the Palace of Jing Wen until midnight, then turn around and say I shamelessly hang around ‘til late to harass you. Words murder without form; I was much nicer responding with blatant violence.” - ling wen im love you..... also this bit... feels Real

BLOOD RAIN BLOOD RAIN BLOOD RAIN!! FLOWER PETALS TRANSFORMATION!!! see hua cheng? look as how cool it can be when you leave the story for a little while!! bc then you get to return and make an entrance!!

“Not only can you bring forth bloody rain, you can also make flowers shower. I didn’t know that. How fun!” - cute!! and in that moment we were all xie lian

“Everyone was stunned by his deed, and Ling Wen arduously gave him a thumbs-up. ”Ol’ Pei, what a man!” Pei Ming gritted his teeth. “WELCOME!” - aww three two tumors buddies!!

okay yin yu is here and xie lian did the equivalent of asking someone when the baby is due only to find out theyre not pregnant at all. then rong guang taunts yin yu and no one says anything. i do love the amount of awkward moments in this book tbh sometimes there are no words.

“All around was sand and mud crushing at him, exceedingly suffocating. The sand and mud was also moving endlessly; the feeling was like he was swallowed into the stomach of a giant monster, and that monster had also eaten a bunch of other things besides him, tumbling everything in its stomach, trying to digest” - ooooh creepy!!! the red string thing... is cute.... also xie lian being able to see hua cheng’s butterfly vision by looking directly into his eye is kinda cool. and obviously homoerotic.

“Are lower-ranked heavenly officials below other people?” Quan Yizhen asked. “No,” Yin Yu replied. Were they not? It was obvious that he himself didn’t believe in his own words, and Quan Yizhen also noticed. A good while later, he said bluntly, “I don’t like it here.” Yin Yu said nothing.” - im having emotions. and then yin yu also saying he doesnt like it there either.... also idk how this scene is going to play out but as much as im enjoying quan yizhen being an icon i can also possibly see how yin yu could eventually get to the point of “i am tired of being nice. i do just want to go apeshit” even if he really cares about qyz. it happens </3

“Indeed,” Hua Cheng said. “Half a year later when Quan Yizhen actually ascends, he won’t find it so funny anymore.” “Can we watch that part too?” Xie Lian asked. “We can. Hold on,” Hua Cheng replied.” - quan yizhen king of taking things literally. also why did this turn into hualian having a movie night

jian yu seems like the kind of asshole who would purposely give someone regular soda when they specifically asked for diet soda. god yin yu is really having a bad day i really feel for him in the whole situation with the brocade immortal

awww okay at least jian yu tried to take responsibility. im still mad at him tho that was objectively a terrible idea. god this whole situation sucked :(

“Rocks and earth crushed at them from all around, forcing their bodies to press tightly against one another, their faces brushing, their ears warm. Although it wasn’t the right time, a thought flashed through Xie Lian’s mind: “‘To die buried together’ doesn’t feel so bad.” - okay... im kind of emotional.... gay people....

okay obviously these murals and the prince of wuyong have some connection (im guessing pretty direct) to xie lian and are important but everytime they start analyzing one i feel like im back in art history class fhadskfhskjdhf not that thats a bad thing!! i liked art history a lot tbh

“Don’t worry, they’re not human,” Hua Cheng said. “It’s precisely because they’re not human that we have to worry, alright….” Xie Lian thought.” - goth ghost bf problems

xie lian: well, there is one person i trust more than anyone else, someone who’s first in my mind hua cheng, oblivious: oh :/ xie lian, also oblivious: what? hua cheng: you shouldnt trust so easily its dangerous xie lian: oh. haha. yeah. well. wanna,,, know who it is? hua cheng: its :) fine :) it :) doesnt :) matter :) but of course you can tell me if you want to gege xie lian, internally: well now ive made it weird hua cheng, 5 minutes later: actually i need you to tell me. right now. its totally for your security me: gay people smh

“As they suspected, he had been captured by Qi Rong. Although no one was bound by ropes, there were balls of greasily green ghost fires hovering over every one of their heads.” - completely off track but anybody else remember the great green globs of greasy grimy gopher guts song

“Could there actually come a day when Qi Rong was embarrassed that someone might see the manner in which he ate? Before Xuan Ji entered, she put Guzi down. Guzi, ta-ta-ta, ran in, rushing straight to Qi Rong’s side. But when he saw him, he pointed his finger. He cried, “Dad is eating bad things in secret again!” “I’m not!” Qi Rong retaliated.” SCREAM IS QI RONG LEARNING THE POWER OF LOVE NOOOO also god that poor man whose body he has im starting to doubt if he’ll ever be free jimmy novak flashbacks

everytime we get another ghost king power somewhere someone should be writing hua cheng the cyborg bf in a high tech futuristic au i think thats the only other potential setting that could truly capture this wild ride

“In truth, throughout history, there was no man in the world who didn’t love bragging. A breeze could blow the handkerchief of a brothel girl into a man’s hand, and he would turn around and say the most beautiful of renowned escorts had fallen in love with him; holding shoes and wiping benches for the emperor’s mistress’s uncle’s grandson’s cousin’s mistress would for sure become him being an important administrator at the residence of royal relatives, raising his status. Thus, men who didn’t brag were a rare species.” - SCREAM this is going in my favorite tgcf quotes folder god... mxtx come here let me shake your hand

read the story of rain master yushi huang’s ascension. why am i crying. also this bit im crying again me with my stuffed animals “Thus, while Yushi Huang was cultivating at the Temple of Yulong, every time when she went to seek water and passed that door, she would rub the head of that ox. The door knocker soaked in her essence of life, and when the Rain Master ascended, the ox ascended with her.”

okay thats enough for now i have 7 more chapters to book 4!!! woo!!!

[mothman-clarice-2]

The oc asks: 5, 12 & 18? Btw hope you’re doing well!!

First of all, oh my effing God THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS AHHHH! I always love talking about my OCs but I never get the chance to bUT NOW YOU GAVE ME THAT CHANCE AND I’M OVER THE MOON RN!!!! I have about 16 OCs but because I don’t wanna spam my followers, I tried to narrow it down to some of my favorites to talk about. I’ll include some doodles of them so you have faces to assign their names to. 

What are their favorite songs?

Spectra- Your Soul by Forrest. It's just so funky and catchy and he can't help but dance when it plays :)

Autumn- La Vie en Rose by Edith Piaf. Given Autumn is French but lives in America, she likes indulging in a bit of her own culture. This song was her favorite as a child and it's become a comforting and nostalgic song for her.

Lucas- The Only Thing They Fear is You by Mick Gordon (from the Doom Eternal soundtrack). Lucas is a heavy metal musician so obviously, his favorite song is gonna be metal. He loves listening to this especially when exercising because of the immense feeling of power it gives him.

Iris- Resonance by Home. Iris's favorite genre (second only to heavy metal considering she is bandmates with Lucas) is vaporwave so naturally, her favorite song would be the one that started it all.

Icarus- STFU by Pink Guy. Icarus is a comedian whose style was heavily influenced by the style of Pink Guy. He loves making fun of the overly edgy and obnoxiously offensive “humor” used by most teenagers trying to be cool and edgy. He loves the aggressiveness of this song and often listens to it to vent his frustration at people who really get on his nerves. 

Doré- Derniere Danse by Indila. Doré being born and raised in France loves indulging in her culture through French music. This song just has this enchanting beauty that makes her want to get up and dance.

Lorenzo- Nocturnes Op. 9 by Chopin. Lorenzo has a taste for the finer things in life and loves classical music with culture and history behind them. He also quite enjoys Gymnopedie No. 1 by Erik Satie as it was one of the first songs he learned to play on the piano.

What is something they carry with them always or never leave the house without?

Spectra- Spectra is a mega softie especially for his girlfriend Autumn and his brother Neon who disappeared years ago. (There's a whole plot behind Neon’s disappearance. I’ll summarize it at the bottom*) Spectra likes to keep the cork from the wine bottle he and Autumn opened on their first date. He also likes to keep a bandana that Neon had before he disappeared. Spectra found it while he was searching for Neon and kept it as a motivator to keep up the search.

Autumn- Autumn has had some seriously traumatic stuff happen to her. I won’t say it here because it could be triggering to someone so I’ll put it in the hashtags if you wanna know. She has gained a strong passion for protecting children as a result of her trauma to the point where it’s become her life’s mission. She keeps a picture of herself as a child before the traumatic event happened to her as a reminder to never let what happened to her happen to anyone else. 

Lucas- Despite Lucas’s intimidating appearance, he is a massive softie off-stage and is very sentimental. To make a long story short, he had a freak accident when he was young that left him severely disfigured and scarred. He felt really self-conscious about this until he discovered the heavy metal community. He quickly gained fame because his appearance fit the heavy metal aesthetic really well and he made good music. He used his fame to promote body positivity and has helped a lot of people with scars and disfigurements accept them and learn to love themselves. Lucas likes visiting children’s hospitals and has kept a few mementos from some of the kids he’s met. Most of these include drawings and cards kids made for him. 

Iris- Iris loves living the aesthetic lifestyle and tries to make everything she owns fit her aesthetics. Lucas being her boyfriend knows this and gave her a gift of a keychain with a bunch of vaporwave and retro futurism-themed pendants. She cherishes it and keeps it with her everywhere she goes. 

Icarus- Icarus is not really one for being sentimental but he secretly keeps a bottle cap his dad gave him. He has a strong bond with his family (though he never shows it to other people) so he treasures that bottle cap as a piece of his family. 

Doré- Doré is a transgender woman and likes keeping pride memorabilia on her as she goes about her daily life. Her husband Lorenzo (although he is cis and straight) is incredibly supportive of her and likes giving her pride related gifts, one of which is a little heart-shaped crystal pendant of the trans flag with a pure gold rim. She keeps it as a bit of trans pride and a symbol of her and Lorenzo’s love. 

Lorenzo- Lorenzo is incredibly romantic and deeply in love with Doré so naturally, he would like to keep a (kinda literal) piece of her with him. Doré is a golden orb weaver spider that gets its name from its golden-colored silk. She is a luxury fashion designer and she uses her silk in many of her products (which is why they’re considered luxury). She made a little handkerchief for Lorenzo made purely out of her own silk that he cherishes as if it were his firstborn child. 

Do they love getting hugs or giving hugs?

Spectra- Spectra is a giver of cuddles through and through

Autumn- Autumn doesn’t like touching people but she likes getting hugs from Spectra

Lucas- He likes to give and receive.

Iris- She likes giving

Icarus- He’s not a hugger

Doré- She likes getting hugs, primarily from Lorenzo

Lorenzo- He’s a giver

*About Neon’s disappearance: To make a long story short, Neon and Spectra are the sons of the two main Gods in this universe and Neon was fascinated by Earth so he traveled to it and became mortal. He stayed too long, forgot he was a divine being, joined a gang, betrayed that gang, and is now constantly on the run from the authorities and the gang he betrayed. Spectra has dedicated himself to find Neon and bring him back home.

[crowned-ladybug]

(Same anon here) I'm really happy u liked my idea :D I love finding people with the same/similar ideas I have :> also I love your writing and I like the scenario you mentioned about Joseph and Caesar, that could lead to some angst and fluff :0

Hi I am So Sorry that this is so late, I’m not even gonna list the reasons why, I’m just. so sorry.

It’s so nice finding other ppl who enjoy the same hcs I do and getting to Talk About Them!!!

As for the plot idea - part of me wishes I could make this a proper fic but alas, I already have too much on my plate and no time/energy to write most days. It still ran away with me a bit tho so under the read more it goes!

So this is still back on Air Supplena and Caesar and Joseph are just. hanging out. Caesar is trying to Read but emphasis on Trying actually bc he’s been rereading the same damn line for the past two minutes just not comprehending any of it bc Joseph won’t stop messing with his goddamn clackers and Making Noise and it’s Distracting and Annoying and Caesar is getting real fed up with it

(Maybe if he actually Said something in a civil manner then Joseph would’ve stopped doing that and let him read instead of leaving Caesar to fume without saying Anything just expecting things to change on their own but I digress)

So eventually Caesar groans: “Jesus Christ, why do you have to be so Annoying, just Stay Quiet Already,” and he reaches over and yanks the clackers out of Joseph’s hand. “I’m taking these. There.”

And he’d be ready to just go back to reading with the clackers dropped on his lap and Joseph finally Quiet bc for all Caesar cares he can stalk off to sulk elsewhere as long as he’s Quiet about it

Joseph is not quiet about anything

The clackers, as already established, are his stim toy. His favourite at that. He’s had the dang things for a while now and they’re Perfect and he uses them so often that they’ve become His Thing and since he can use them for fighting also he doesn’t have to feel weird about having them on hand all the time

And he’s grown up with almost every adult besides Erina and Speedwagon, as well as a lot of not-adults, telling him that everything he does bc of his ADHD is weird or wrong or stupid. He’s been yelled at to stay still in school so many times and had his stim/fidget toys taken and told off for stimming (and poor volume control, and memory issues, and infodumping, and so many other things that are just Natural to him) and told to just grow up and stop acting so childish and embarrassing and annoying, that everything he ever does to make himself comfortable and happy is actually gross and immature and should be stopped-

And now Caesar just told him the same thing and it hits differently from all the other times he’s called him annoying, and he took his fuckin clackers too and he’s acting like it’s just Okay to Do and-

Joseph sees red.

Caesar has no time to react before they’re both on the floor and all he can do is try to dodge and block Joseph’s fists as he yells at him to give him his fuckin clackers back. And it’s scary beyond just. fighting someone who’s v strong and knows how to punch (bc ofc so does Caesar), it’s scary bc Joseph is v obviously Genuinely Upset?? This isn’t an impromptu wrestling match on the floor over something dumb and petty that they’ll call truce over in just a bit and go back to teasing each other. No, Caesar has somehow Fucked Up even if he doesn’t realise How nor how to Fix It

This all goes down in the span of seconds btw before Joseph like. catches himself and realises what he’s doing, which is. trying to beat his best friend into the carpet for taking his Stupid Childish Toy that he shouldn’t even Have bc what kind of Idiot gets so attached to some dumb Toy and makes Constant Annoying Noises with it. And Caesar is reaching up tentatively to put a hand on his arm to try to placate him or snap him out of it or Something and that’s when Joseph just Bolts

Like. clackers forgotten and everything, he just. utilises his favourite secret technique and runs for it

“It” being his room. He locks the door and sits on the floor next to it for a while trying to catch his breath and collect himself. Eventually he manages to get up and get his scarf to fumble with it to calm himself better bc the scarf is also Important like the clackers are

He’s fucked up Big Time. Now Caesar knows he’s weird no matter how hard he tries to save face, bc even if he doesn’t Say anything, even if he never gets his clackers back (oh god, where are they, did he leave them with Caesar, oh fuck-) his strong reaction to Caesar taking them will Definitely betray to him that Something Is Up. Caesar is a smart guy, Joseph can’t expect him not to catch on to Something being off anyway even if he doesn’t exactly know What bc it’s already enough evidence that Joseph is Weird and Childish in all the ways that are Undesirable

Caesar goes after him bc ofc he does. He wants to figure out how he fucked up and Fix It and also lbr. if this Was something Joseph would want to just be left alone with, Caesar wouldn’t really realise that until he got punched again. So he takes the clackers and goes looking for Joseph (which takes him some time bc he doesn’t Know what’s going on and thus that Joseph would be in his room where he can dig out his favourite scarf or bury himself under a pile of blankets bc that’s Comforting, and as small as the island is, it’s Full of good hiding places)

But he eventually comes up to Joseph’s room and knocks. “Jojo, you in there?”

“Go away.”

“…do you actually mean that?”

And okay that’s unfair bc even buried under three blankets (pressure is Good but his weighted blanket is at home in New York and he is here in positively Not New York) and feeling like the world is overall a v shitty place, he still likes Caesar. Even if he knows that it’s dumb to want comfort from the same person that hurt him in the first place.

And then Caesar adds: “I still have your clackers.”

And it’s not like. blackmail or anything, more like “hey I wanna give these back tho” and that’s what does it bc Joseph wants his clackers back and so he v bitterly decides that if Caesar thinks he’s gross and weird now then Joseph can just punch him and they can go back to hating each other like they had back in Rome

He hates that possibility tho

He allows Caesar in and sits up in his bed while he’s at it so that he can have at least Some dignity left. Caesar sits on the bed with him tho he does keep a larger distance than he usually does and Joseph Really hopes that’s “I don’t wanna freak you out again” kinda distance and not “you’re just gonna punch me for no reason again aren’t you” kinda distance

Before he does anything else, Caesar gives the clackers back and Joseph just. puts them down on the bed on the Caesar-free side of himself bc he’s Very Consciously trying Not to Act Weird

He doesn’t look at Caesar’s face tho bc that’s a lil too much for him rn

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Joseph just shrugs. “It’s fine, it’s…dumb.”

“It’s not dumb if it made you upset.”

And that’s so fuckin sweet and Honest and Caesar sounds like he genuinely feels bad for messing Joseph up so much but also Joseph doesn’t know what to Do with that when Caesar doesn’t even Know what he’s talking about, bc ofc it’s Dumb.

“No, it…it is dumb. Don’t worry about it.”

I’d say Caesar operates like 80% on Pure Spite so if you tell him not to worry about something he Will worry about it just to be an asshole but tbh it’s mostly just bc he loves Joseph in this case

“Can I ask why though?”

Joseph doesn’t expect whatever that is so much that he actually looks at Caesar for a moment. “Why what?”

“Why you got so upset. Or why you think it’s dumb,” and when Joseph doesn’t look convinced he continues. “I mean, we fight all the time, sure, but it’s never Serious…right?”

He genuinely looks Uncertain there for a moment and that’s a Big Fuckin Ouch bc of Course it’s never serious, ever since they took turns punting each other into that fountain in Rome none of their fights have been actually serious. They spar for training and they have joke-fights bc it’s fun to rile each other up and gain bragging rights but it’s never about Hurting and in face of real danger they’d protect each other over themselves in a heartbeat

So Joseph just nods, and Caesar carries on.

“But back there you got. really fucked up over what I did and. I guess I just wanna know Why so I know not to do that again?” and with that even He thinks he’s done but then he adds: “You’re my friend.”

And that’s such a fuckin clumsy way to end it bc he can’t say the rest of it, the “I know this here isn’t about comfort but I want you to be comfortable anyway” and “the world is shit and I don’t wanna be another person who hurt you” and “I love you.” So he just leaves it at that.

Joseph automatically wants to go “that’s easy, don’t take my clackers then, dipshit” but like. 1, Caesar is being v v nice so he Won’t be mean in return and 2, there’s so much more connected to his Weirdness that could set him off the same way besides his clackers being taken. So instead he just really appreciates the sentiment and Caesar in general and decides that it’s all a too big a can of worms for him to wrangle and he’d rather just weather the painful parts as they come

“It’s fine, you wouldn’t get it anyway, it’s fine.”

“Why?”

“I dunno, just no one gets it! Whatever, it’s weird shit.”

“If you think I don’t get it, fine, then explain it to me!”

And Joseph doesn’t know what to fuckin Say to that bc no one besides his family has ever asked him to do that. It was always just being told to put his stim toys away and stop moving too much and oh fuck just shut up already, never Why.

He makes a vague noise bc he forgets how to Words for a moment bc of that, and Caesar takes it as a question.

“Jojo, we’re gearing up to fight a bunch of gods with ancient magic so that we can get two rings of poison out of your body, and you really think I can’t handle ‘weird’? Because I can, thank you very much, and it’s You, so I don’t Care if it’s weird anyway.

(He ignores the huge fuckin implications of that and just keeps talking.)

"So, will you explain so that I can understand?”

And he’s Smiling and how Dare and oh fuck when did Joseph even manage to look at him again. He stares for a lil too long bc What The Fuck before he goes “Okay.”

And Caesar’s smile grows into a grin like he really is just. genuinely happy to understand this part of Joseph and make sure he doesn’t hurt him again, and Joseph braces himself for an awkward conversation with Hopefully a happy ending.

(And Joseph ends up being right bc Caesar doesn’t Understand, he can’t really fully understand.

But he Tries and more importantly he Listens and he Learns and is v adamant about the fact that Joseph isn’t Weird and Wrong when it comes to these things. So he doesn’t take away the clackers again and he finally connects the dots about why Joseph always lets him lean too much of his weight on him even if he risks toppling the two of them over and so he keeps doing it. He learns Joseph’s hyperfixations and how to prod him into talking about them to make him happy or distract him from shitty things, and what it looks like when his RSD kicks in and how to act around it.

Maybe he doesn’t Get It but it’s part of Joseph, and he loves all the other parts of Joseph too. And also tbh he’s a decent fuckin human being, even if he didn’t love Joseph so much he still wouldn’t act like an asshole about this stuff.)

[dearlazerbunny]

Lie to Me (Ch 1 of ?)

Pairings: Loki x Reader

Genre/Ratings: M eventually (aiming for a slow burn here); warnings for kidnapping and subsequent anxiety/PTSD (will be marked before every chapter)

Words: 2200 

Summary: If you had to guess what the captured, traitor, trickster god Loki Laufeyson wanted or needed at this moment, a babysitter would be far, far down on the list. (Set after the events of Avengers 1.)

If I don’t post what I already have it’s never going to get finished soooo have some Loki. Hovering around 20k rn But I still have a looooot left to write. If anyone is interested in beta-ing/helping me flesh out ideas hit me up! 

“You.” You look up with a very good impression of a deer caught in headlights. The woman beckoning to you is clearly high up in the SHIELD hierarchy; her suit probably costs more than your entire life is worth. “Are you free?”

You glance down at the coffee you were supposed to be delivering to your coworkers. That could probably wait. “Um, yes ma’am?”

“Come with me.” She starts off in a brisk walk down the corridor, her heels clicking sharply on the floor. You follow without question, trying not to tug on your uniform too harshly in an attempt to break it in a little better. You still aren’t used to the issued clothing, considering you’ve worn the default uniform of hoodies and jeans of a college academic most of your life.

She herds you into a bare bones room, just a table and a few chairs. You stand until she gestures for you to sit, not sure why she’s even glancing your way. You’re a lackey, nothing more. Certainly not worth the attention of Maria Hill.

The woman tosses a folder onto then table, and it impressively lands squarely in front of you. “I’m assuming you’re aware of recent events?”

You raise an eyebrow. “If you’re referring to Manhattan, then yes. It’s been a bit hellacious around here.” Like there wasn’t a person on earth who hadn’t seen the footage of monstrous black aliens pouring out of a glowing portal in the sky. Everyone has been scrambling to control the situation that is blatantly so far out of their control they might as well be fighting sci-fi aliens with Neanderthal tools. It’d be amusing if it wasn’t so terrifying. “Are you with the clean-up crew?”

“Sort of.” She gestures to the folder and you open it. Inside are crystal-clear photos of Earth’s newly minted heroes and a horde of special agents escorting a raven-haired man into a transport vehicle. “Look familiar?”

You release a small breath. Intellectually, you know this is the man- god- who just tried to make himself king of humanity and threatened the entire Earth to do it. But that doesn’t stop the wonder and amazement from washing over you. Loki, Norse god of mischief, real and in the flesh. In the background you can see the golden-haired Thor, swinging his mythical hammer. Well, not exactly mythical, is it? It’s real. They’re real. All the gods and realms and monsters and mayhem that have captivated you since childhood and ultimately lead to multiple degrees on the subjects- they’re real. It’s absolutely incredible. “Yes,” you say, probably a little more wondrously that you mean for it to be.

“We’ve got Loki in custody.” She says his name so nonchalantly, like she isn’t referring to a thousands of years old immortal demigod of the golden realm of Asgard. “And we have no idea what to do with him.”

“And this has to do with me somehow?”

“Yes and no.” She sighs heavily, like she needed to be done with this shit a decade ago. “SHIELD is treating the prisoner with kiddie gloves. Fury wants every single loophole filled and locked down three times over. So we can’t just throw him in a deep dark hole and forget about him- he needs to be afforded certain… rights.” The tone of her voice implies she doesn’t agree with this sentiment.

“Like what?”

“Like company, while we sort out all the red tape so we can prosecute him properly.”

“Company.” You’re completely lost. “He needs a babysitter?”

That makes a small smile flick across her lips. “If you want to call it that. We’re not happy about it, believe me. It’s an undeniable risk. But the lawyers are demanding it, and god knows we have to keep the lawyers happy.” A pinch appears between your eyebrows. You don’t like where this is going. “So. Will you do it?”

“Me?” You squeak, then immediately try to get yourself under control. “Why me? I was literally hired a month ago, I have no qualifications to do anything like this-”

She holds up a hand. “We know. That’s the point. All you need to do is sit in his cell for a few hours every day and pretend to look interested in whatever he’s rambling about. If he talks; he’s been completely silent since we picked him up. Take a book and a few snacks with you, don’t let him schmooze you into doing anything traitorous, and you’ll be fine. Plus,” she continued, “with your background we figured you’d be at least mildly interested.”

Damn. They’ve got you there. Several masters’ in mythology along with years of a childlike fascination means you’ve been ridiculously curious about Earth’s new visitors ever since Mjolnir landed in New Mexico. The spark in your eyes must have been obvious, because Agent Hill holds out a slender hand. “Have we got a deal?”

And so, not hours later, you find yourself wandering into the depths of SHIELD’s base. “Hi there.”

The room is depressingly stark and sterile- you thought you’d gotten used to being surrounded by the chrome and weird futuristic plastic that are apparently now the only two building materials left on Earth since starting at SHIELD, but this place takes it to a whole new level. And it’s newly constructed, based on the smell of drying concrete and fresh shavings peeling up around the screw holes in the corners. There’s a small, utilitarian metal desk and chair that’s been provided for you in the center of the room, so you drop your notepad and pencil onto the tabletop with a clang and pull out the chair. It screeches painfully against the floor, making you wince. Okay, no more of that. You suck in your stomach and slide in between the table and chair so neither have to move. A little tight, but you can make it work.

The other man in the room, framed behind a wall of glass, has not reacted to any of this.

He looks exactly how he did on TV, minus the leather armor and extravagant gold horned helmet. It’s all been replaced with the thin grey uniform SHIELD deems prison garb. You have to admit, he looks a lot less intimidating sitting pale and silent against the wall, handcuffs glowing faintly around his wrists.

“Um- can you hear me?”

Still no response. He doesn’t even seem to notice you’ve entered the room. Uuuuuuum, okay... There’s a microphone attached to the desk. You lean into it, frowning, fiddling with a few of the dials at the base. Then you tap on it and speak directly into the mic. “Can you hear me?” The man flinches wildly, a radical break in his composure, and his eyes dart to you angrily. “Oh, gosh, sorry, okay, let me-” you turn the dial down a few notches. “Better?”

The volume doesn’t seem to be at max level anymore- he doesn’t flinch again- but he also doesn’t say anything else. “I’m going to need verbal confirmation that you can hear me.”

He doesn’t look at you. He doesn’t seem to be looking at anything. His gaze is focused on some middling thing opposite of him, something invisible on the horizon, but he’s hardly glazed over- emerald eyes are bright and sharp, flickering lightly. They are not the eyes of a defeated man, far from it. More like one who has about fifteen thousand and twenty three plans all running through his head at once.

You suppose that should scare you, but SHIELD has reassured you that the cell is one of the most technologically advanced cells they’ve ever constructed. Also, those cuffs have some sort of magic-diffusing abilities, so no funny business there. Then again, he did basically destroy all of Manhattan, like, less than a week ago. You hadn’t even been in that part of the country at the time, SHIELD had called you in from D.C., but you can still feel the horror grip your chest in a vice watching skyscrapers fall to tatters on the news-

“Yes.”

His voice is so soft you almost don’t catch it. It pulls you from your thoughts nonetheless. “Oh. Okay, great.” You pull your pencil to you and neatly label the first page of your notepad with today’s date in the top corner. If you were going be stuck with him, you might as well take notes. Think of the papers you could publish! “Can you please, uh, state your name for the record?” That sounded professional, right? You’ve heard it on Law and Order a lot, anyways.

The prisoner raises one eyebrow slowly. “Really?” He draws out that one word into a three-second attack of sarcasm, but you simply shrug your shoulders.

“It’s protocol.”

“I am Loki Laufeyson, Prince of Asgard, God of Mischief and Lies.” With every title he spits from his mouth, his eyes flash dangerously.

“O-kay.” You jot that down on your notepad, giving it an underline for good measure. “And how would you like to be addressed?”

“Your highness.” He says it as easily as he might’ve said Bob or Ricky.

You blink. “Um. Not sure that’s within my pay grade, but we’ll see how it goes.”

“Where am I?”

“A very secure holding cell,” you answer confidently, and the god scowls at you. He’s apparently waiting for more information, but you shake your head- “that is literally all the information I’m allowed to give you about that.” You glance up at the camera tacked to the ceiling of the room. “Also, you’re being recorded at all times. Gotta tell you that for legalities sake.”

“SHIELD has always so been worried about legalities.”

That gets a small snort from you, and you tap the end of your pencil on your paper. “So-”

“Who are you, exactly?” He suddenly sounds very, very tired, and a little angry, like he’s already done humoring you. “And why are you bothering me?”

“Y/N.” You give him a little wave, since you obviously can’t shake his hand. “I’m a, well- archivist, of sorts. SHIELD brought me in to talk to you.”

“And you’re, what? Fury’s pet?”

“Hardly. I’ve been here less than a month. I don’t think this uniform has even been washed yet.”

Another eyebrow raise. “An interesting choice to interrogate their most wanted prisoner.”

You tap a little more frantically. “I think it’s so if you end up getting into my head, I won’t be able to give anything up,” you say thoughtfully. There’s a huff over the speakers you’re hearing him through. “Also, this isn’t an interrogation.”

“No?”

“Nope. I’m not really qualified for that.”

“Then what are you qualified for?”

“Jeg snakker norsk,” you offer, honestly wondering that question yourself. The look he gives you is a mixed amount of horrified and amused. “They thought it might be helpful speaking in a familiar language, I guess?”

“They do know I can speak literally hundreds of thousands of languages spanning any galaxy you care to name,” he says, apparently stunned by the new heights of SHIELD’s stupidity.

You sigh. “Yeah. I thought it was a stupid idea too.”

“This is laughable.” He’s on his feet now, close to the glass and staring you down threateningly. “Why have I not been removed to Asgard? They will presumably want to prosecute me for my crimes.”

“Um, I think they’re planning on it. But they want me to, um, talk to you first.”

“About what.”

“Well. Anything you want, really.”

“I have nothing to say to you mortals,” he spits, and the word splats on the ground like it’s a curse.

“That’s cool, I get that. But right now all the bureaucrats are running themselves in circles trying to figure out what to do with you, and all that red tape is going to take some time to untangle. In the meantime, they want to make sure you don’t go crazy from the solitude or something.”

“Since when has SHIELD cared about my well being?”

“I mean, you’ve still got rights and stuff. You can’t just sit here for who knows how long with only yourself for company.”

“And why not?”

“Wouldn’t you get lonely?”

“Forgive me, but I hardly think you are going to provide any sort of adequate mental stimulation.”

Geez, way to hit below the belt. “You can request someone else if you want. They pretty much just picked me out of a lineup and threw me on you, I don’t really think they care who sits here with you.”

“What would be the point? SHIELD only hires imbeciles and fools.”

“Well, then. I guess you’re stuck with me for a while.”

The man slumps back, apparently not encouraged by your words. Then he punches the wall with one of his restrained hands and screams angrily in clear frustration.

This is going to go so well.

A/N: Jeg snakker norsk = I speak Norwegian 

[vivalamusicaltheater]

Ok so now that I’ve thought a while about svtfoe finale I have some opinions

Things I liked:

Marco taking the wand from moon and Marco and Star walking through the portal hand in hand

The firstborn STILL tried to warn & help Star, even after she DIED. What a good unicorn daughter

Marco trying to use Star’s spells and then just creating some spells on the fly figuring it’d work better

Marco was willing to get STABBED to help Tom

We finally got to see Eclipsa’s butterfly form (and baby Meteora got a butterfly form)!

Baby Meteora learning how to dip down being plot relevant

Moon & Comet moment. Even tho Moon’s character isn’t great rn, I’m glad she got a moment with her mom

That Tomco moment (“ok can we recognize that Marco JUST FLIPPED A HORSE!” “I FLIPPED A HORSE!”). They are such good friends (and would’ve been such a cute ship), I love them. It’s really a shame this show didn’t do the tomstarco route (preferably in my opinion with Star and Tom both dating Marco but not each other, I’m not a huge fan of Tomstar and Star hasn’t proven to be a particularly good girlfriend to Tom, but it could be good either way).

Seeing the past queens again I love their designs (I want to know what Celena’s secrets are...)

Globgor, Eclipsa, and Meteora get to stay a happy family

Actually, surprisingly, I kinda liked Ponyhead in this episode? (A little bit). I liked how she tried to cheer Star up and then went “oh not again” when she thought Star was gonna get back together with Tom which I appreciated bc they’d already been together twice before and it hadn’t worked, and I liked that Ponyhead was aware enough to realize that probably wasn’t a good idea for them to try again

Janna! Her bonding moment with Marco where she actually said they were friends was so cute! And sbsjsvsjshs she dropped her heart rate to 0 for Marco what a legend. Janna Ordania, true ride or die.

More Jackie and her gf Chloe screen time (even if it was a few seconds. It was nice to see anyways)

Meteora and Mariposa get to grow up together after all

Star and Marco get a happy ending (and the show didn’t end with them kissing which was nice)

Oh does deleting the magic mean deleting the neverzone meaning Marco’s not 30 anymore?? I really really hope so that’d make any Marco ship so much less creepy. I’m accepting that as my canon thank you very much

Things I’m not sure how I feel about:

Hekapoo’s...complete neutrality towards her upcoming death? Ig it’s good that she evidently realized she’d done some bad stuff but uh...???

The pudding being able to keep your mind sharp in the magic dimension. On the one hand, I liked that there’s a REASON Glossaryck likes pudding so much and that we finally got an explanation for it, on the other hand I sorta wish that they’d figured that out BEFORE now. Now it kinda seems like the writers just needed something to explain how the Butterflies could stay focused in the magic dimension (but again, if they needed a plot device I’m glad it’s the pudding so...idk)

Ok what was the purpose of Tom riding the evil unicorn. I don’t get it. Don’t hate it or love it, am just confused.

Marco getting stabbed and hiding it from Tom and Star was some Good Angst Sh*t. The fact that that had absolutely no purpose, however, was not. I wish either Marco didn’t get stabbed, or there was actually some consequence to Marco getting stabbed as it was kinda pointless otherwise

The fact that both Star and Marco were willing to leave their families and worlds for the chance to be together. Obviously they care about each other, but they’re willing to give up their lives and families at 15 to be together? :/ (side note those shots of Marco huddled against the magic dimension rock were really pretty)

The portal thing. It didn’t make sense

Mewni and Earth being cleaved together. I mean on the one hand that’s cool, on the other hand that seems like it’s gonna create so many problems & just leaves me with a lot of questions. For example won’t humans just oppress monsters like mewmans did? Can Tom get back to his family? Is the underworld part of the Mewni dimension or is it it’s own? Did all the dimensions get merged into Mewnearth or just Mewni and Earth? How will Earth culture and Mewni culture learn to coexist?

Moon redemption. It seemed too easy, she didn’t really have to work for it! I mean her character was growing on me pre-her-working-with-Mina, but then she was revealed to be working with Mina and she made SOLARIAN WARRIORS I mean come on! I kinda wanted her to be redeemed bc I was unsatisfied with the Mina twist, but the way they did it was kinda :/ I want Star to be able to have a good relationship with her mother, but since Moon Did That and didn’t really face any consequences besides her daughter being mad at her for an episode...

That Solaria & Eclipsa & Meteora moment. I mean it was cute Solaria accepted them but she literally created Solarian warriors and committed monster genocide soooo...that’s definitely not enough to redeem her and it’s not great that she’s portrayed sympathetically

Things I didn’t like:

That they actually went with the “erase all the magic” plot line. Svtfoe is about Star the rebel princess, frequent subverter of expectations, so it was weird to me that they actually destroyed the magic and there wasn’t some twist like the four butterfly queens work together and unlock some super butterfly form or join hands in a circle around the Solarian Warriors and say the Whispering Spell or something else to defeat Mina. I’m surprised Star seeing her supposedly finished tapestry didn’t motivate her to find a different way because she’s Star Butterfly, rebel princess who fights for what’s right and nobody can tell her what she has to do, she finds her own way.

Eddie and River bumbling and telling Mina about the magic sanctuary. I wish River had saved Globgor bc it would really show he can be competent and would also be cute bc dad solidarity

Mina, after being built up as the big bad, was defeated way too easily

Glossaryck, the MHC, (and presumably all of the queens’ spells INCLUDING THE LASER PUPPIES) just. Died. I mean the MHC sucked so oh well about them and glossaryck was kinda the reason this all happened (which btw is very confusing. Why did he give the first queen the wand if he knew all this crap was gonna happen anyways?) so I’m not super sad about him but Star’s spells didn’t deserve that, nor did the other queens’, or the laser puppies!!

The fact that Moon and Star grabbed tha alligators by the eyeballs. I know that this is such a small thing but in the series finale for the main character to still be doing stuff that hurts other characters like that and for it to be treated as a joke...it just sits bad with me. They’ve tried to develop Star, and been mostly successful, but for her to still be doing stuff like this and being a bad girlfriend to Tom and spontaneously deciding that she hates magic and needs to get rid of it no matter what happens to magical creatures and such after she’s supposedly grown so much just seems counterintuitive and bad. Like I swear Star’s my favorite character (bet that’s a surprise with how much I’ve talked about Marco this post) but sometimes it’s so hard to like her it’s annoying

Mina lived. I mean what was the point of that? She’s not gonna learn to not be racist towards monsters and it looked like she got pretty killed by the unicorn in the magic dimension so like. What’s the point of her coming back

All the cruelty towards unicorns. I mean, the firstborn DIED. We saw her SKULL. What the F*CK that’s messed up! And the other unicorns died too, and the dark one also disappeared except for its skull. What was that about?! Were we supposed to just not care bc they’re made of magic? Bc if so that didn’t work

No but seriously it’s so messed up that Star’s unicorn daughter DIED and we saw her SKULL and it’s just treated as a joke what the hell that unnerved me sm

It was very anticlimactic how there weren’t any real challenges to the Butterflies destroying magic. Neither Mina nor the evil unicorn got anywhere close and for the series (not just season but SERIES) finale, you would think there’d be more of a final fight, and more tension/suspense so the final payoff seems more satisfying. Idk I just thought it went way too fast, especially for the actual end of the show. I thought the full time should be used for fighting Mina, not starco development (and I say this as a person who likes starco)

The cheek marks being gone. I know it makes sense with the plot of getting rid of the magic, and because mewmans were originally just humans, but since I didn’t like the magic-being-deleted plot line and because I have some sort of sentimental attachment to the cheek marks apparently, I don’t like that they’re gone

The uncertainty towards Tom/most characters from other dimensions’s fates. Again, I like starco, but even the most die-hard starco shippers probably think that the way characters who weren’t Star or Marco were just written off was unsatisfying, right? In particular, Tom deserves WAAAAAAAY better than he got. And Kelly, is her dimension merged with Mewnearth? Was the vision Ponyhead was describing actually what happened to her?