#fey vibes

[mx-lamour]

On and off, I claim I'm not actually trans. It's not an imposter thing so much as a fog of potential definitions and maybe the intent behind them.

Once upon a time, I assumed transness was binary. Back when I was finally going after the hysterectomy I'd wanted since age twelve, my doctor asked me if I was trans and I said No.

A few hours later, I realized that had been my open door. I sent my doctor a message to follow up: If I was trans... what would happen next?

It still took two years of nonsense, but that was how I got my uterus removed. Good riddance to menstrual cycles and pap smears, whyever the hell they're called that. Goodbye blood and guts, hello open schedule and a freer mind.

Since I hit puberty, people have assumed that I've been older than I was, by a good five years or so. When I hit twenty, that apparently leveled and reversed. Now I'm thirty and the other day someone told me I look eighteen. It probably won't help the guesses now I don't have breasts.

I've found the secret to eternal youth: Become a kid again.

I'm not so much trans as un-trans, in the sense that puberty put me through a big transition that I never asked for, never wanted, and then actively abhorred because the change was forced on me and none of it was comfortable.

I'm trans by diagnosis because of the physical dysphoria, trans by the umbrella of a grown girl who doesn't go by Woman and has changed her body to reflect that, trans by the way I claim multifaceted humanness and use a singular They when meeting strangers to stave off unwarranted assumptions.

But I'll tell you a secret, now that I've reclaimed my first and final form: I'm autistic.

Between the monotropism, the rife sensory sensitivities, and the unique view of what Makes Sense, of course the effects of puberty and the connotations of gender were absolutely nuts to me. That in itself could explain the dysphoria and the stubborn drive to put it right.

There's one other thing I learned early on: Sometimes your best bet is to quit.

My mom worked a job she hated for twelve years. Every day, she'd come home and complain about it. She'd tell us the shitty things that happened and how her boss was a jerk, so she could get it off her chest and go back in the next day to do it all again. I have no patience for this. I kept saying she should quit. When she finally did, I was so proud of her.

I'm a quitter. This is not to be confused with laziness, because quitting isn't easy. It cuts against the grain. It can make a lot of things a lot harder, but what I've quit is a series of broken systems. I've quit things that wouldn't fit and couldn't help me. I've quit things that made life more difficult in other ways. But I'd rather choose my battles, because at least that gives me some control over the field. Some might call it agency.

So I'm not trans, although I am. That's the thing about choosing Nonbinary, I guess. There's more than just two options: Are or Not. To hell with in-groups and outsiders. I'm a liminal thing, like childhood. Full of possibility.

[feral-and-chaotic]

"He watched more alertly as the cat approached the spot again, just an empty patch of grass between the hornbeams and the bushes of a garden hedge... The cat stepped forward and vanished." - The Subtle Knife by Philip Pulman

Inktober: Golden.

Inspiration for the cat and area taken from my neighbour's cat:

[severevoiddragon]

Existing in an old building with lots of fey like gardens, listening to The Crane Wives, dressed as a fey is a freaking VIBE I Love It!!!!

[laurellala-comics]

Fun fact! This was the real tipping point that made Edgeworth run away after AA1, they just couldn't show it on screen because they didn't have the rights to Chappell Roan's music <3

(A spiritual successor to my "Hot to Go" joke from this post. Image description under the cut below)

[Image ID: a four page black and white comic of characters from ace attorney.

The Judge stands solemnly at his podium holding a gavel "Mr. Miles Edgeworth, you are on trial for the murder of blah blah blah..."

A cheerful Maya Fey leans over to Miles Edgeworth, who is staring straight ahead and looking very concerned

Maya: "Psst! Mr. Edgeworth! If you win your trial, can I show you Chappell Roan?

Miles: "What the hell, sure." Internally he thinks "Oh God I am going to jail"

A box saying "later" in the top corner of the next panel marks the passage of time.

The Judge smiles as he says "I declare you... Not Guilty!"

We see a full body shot of Maya dancing excitedly while Miles looks on, emotionless

Maya: YIPPEE omg you're going to LOVE this

Miles internally thinks "oh no, the consequences of my actions.

We see Miles standing in between Phoenix Wright and Maya looking apprehensive. Maya beams in excitement, while Nick puts a reassuring hand on Miles' shoulder

Miles: Alright, so what is this exactly?

Nick: She's a pop musician Maya really likes

Maya: You promised you'd let me show you, and it's legally binding because you said it in a court room!

Miles: That is not how the law works Ms. Fey

Maya: Shh just listen!

We see a panel of Miles' pensive face concentrating as he listens to "Hot to Go". He thinks to himself "hm".

Another panel zoomed in more. His pensive expression has grown more tense/confused as he listens to "Red Wine Supernova". he again thinks to himself "Hm" in a larger thought bubble.

We zoom out again to see Nick, Miles, and Maya standing together again. Miles stares forward blankly, eyebrows raised. Maya excitedly leans in.

Maya: Ok, that's her whole discography. So! What did you think?

Nick looks at him, waiting for his response

We get a panel of Miles, looking bewildered. He starts to speak "I..."

We cut again to see the three of them standing together.

Miles: I... don't think I like women?

Miles looks shocked and confused. Nick is bent over laughing, using a hand on Miles's shoulder to support himself. Maya looks outraged and appalled!

Maya: MR. EDGEWORTH! Just because you don' like her musi it doesn't give you an excuse to be sexist!

We see a panel of Miles looking stressed and confused. He leans his head on one of his hands, which messes up his hair, showing how he isn't his normal put together self.

Miles: I should rephrase that. What I mean is, Ms. Roan is clearly VERY assured in her feelings towards women. I was... unaware that anyone felt that strongly. I thought we all viewed these things with a vague sense of distaste and unease but collectively ignored it. Like how we do with climate change.

We zoom out again to see the three of them. Miles stands in the middle looking deeply uncomfortable and lost in thought, vibrating with unease. Nick and Maya exchange deeply concerned glances across from him.

With lingering unease, Miles begins to walk away.

Miles: Well, I should be going then. Goodnight.

Nick hesitantly raises a finger to point out an inaccuracy in that statement

Nick: It's four in the afternoon-

he gets interrupted by Miles who repeats firmly: I said Goodnight

Nick looks in the direction Miles walked off in.

Nick: ...He'll be ok, right?

Maya reassures him: Of cours Nick! I mean, what's the worst that can happen?

Jump cut to a closeup of Nick's hand holding Miles' letter which reads Miles Edgeworth chooses death in all caps. Then, below in smaller font, it says Also femininomenon was really good, thanks.

We see a panel of Nick glaring wordlessly at Maya as he holds the letter in his hand. Maya leans against the wall and looks away, whistling, trying to look innocent to avoid blame.

As a bonus, we also have a page that takes place a year later. Miles and Nick stand talking. Miles looks calmer now, and Nick smiles encouragingly.

Miles: In my time in Europe, I've been examining myself and my approach to law. Ultimately, the most important focus must be justice. We owe it to ourselves and to the people we serve

Nick: Wow, that's really inspiring Edgeworth. And, uh, hows the... the other thing going?

We get a zoomed in panel of Miles glaring menacingly at a suddenly nervous Nick

Jumping out again, Miles turns his back to Nick as he continues to talk

Miles: So as I was saying, justice is truly so important...

Nick nervously rubs the back of his neck wearing an awkward expression as he sweats nervously. He thinks to himself internally "Ooookay then, clearly still working through some things there"

/.End ID]

[monarchisms]

ace attorney + 3ds home menu banner animations (w/ bonus translated version of dgs 1)

made to match my professor layton gifset

[queeny-v]

Can sleep. Brain rot…it’s too strong…help-

I’ll EVENTUALLY properly draw this piece rather than have this sleep deprived chicken scratch of a concept asdfghjkl

[okartichoke]

head up, back straight, while you’re staring down your fate

aka: how awful must it be to be able to channel the dead, but not be able to talk to them yourself

[boatem-probler]

been chewing on this conversation between pearl and gem this week:

Gem: I know you didn't kill me!

Pearl: So what are you cranky about?

...

Gem: I'm just- you know, I wanted some drama! So, this is the drama, you're welcome.

Pearl: "This is the drama". You're telling me we could've been friends this whole time but you're just like "yoohoohoohoohoohoohoo... I hate you!"

Gem: Yeah, I mean, why not!

and i'm connecting it to gem in empires season 2, where like. in the context of the fiction everyone else had been living in that world their whole lives and that's their reality, like, it's real to them.

and meanwhile gem is just roleplaying. like, she was a being from another world who just came there because she wanted to play at being a human princess for a while. and then when she's called away she's just like. anyway i was never actually a princess or a mortal being from this dimension and we're never gonna see each other again, sorry for the existential crisis, bye!

and anyway i think she has a similar deal in the life series. like, everyone else is there because they're trapped in the Torment Nexus, gem is there because she wants to be.

[sunfloweraroace]

Ah yes my favourite genre… Be Gay, Do Crime

[talk-danmei-to-me]

Okay but this:

And this:

Same vibes.

[morumotto-to]

[dottysdokis]

i've noticed a backlash recently against maya being a narumitsu wingman, which i generally agree with, getting the two of them together wouldn't be her main purpose like in a lot of fics. but like...she is canonically a fujo this was drawn by shu takumi himself guys

it would probably just be a passing fancy of hers, but it's there.

[miyamiwu]

The 3 times Xia Fei talks about Vein in YE3

[asterlae]

fem beanix has become one of my favorite things to draw

also Nick and Maya watching an steel samurai marathon

[sunshinetomioka]

i've been playing ace attorney (if it wasn't obvious from my last reblogs) and since I haven't drawn in a while i decided to draw a few silly things. Which is how I ended up drawing a bunny Maya fey !

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Sorry, I’m still cracking up at Qiao Ling completely obliterating Felix in one hit in the new pv. He has such loser boy energy, my poor guy…