#fiber go brrr

[julianova44]

My friend has a five year old with access to the Monster Manual. The kid has been trying their hand at monster design recently, and based on their description I have made a nightmare come to life. I anticipate the child will be pleased.

My parents still have my baby teeth and I am considering adding them in….

[icrochetthings]

I haven't even gotten halfway through the front panel of my sweater, and I already want to buy a sweater quantity of a lighter weight yarn so I can make one that isn't going to be oversized

[shuckinbeanz]

Three's a Charm

warnings/notes: NSFW, spoilers about one of the endings, spoilers about Sym's full name and species, spoilers about dys, dys is an embo it's a new word I made up for the emo himbo, just started finkin bout Dys n triplets with reader so here's some hcs and snippets. this turned into an very long simp-fest somewhere along lmao so lots of very kinky snu-snu, bits about Sym being a GodGardenfather included bc he loves kids, and tidbits ab Dys being a dad :3

MINORS 👏 DNI! 👏 AGE 👏 IN 👏 BIO 👏 OR 👏 DNI! 👏 Head on over to @candybowbeansies please for my SFW pieces, or be blocked if you interact here! 😇

Tags: @dynamightsdaydream

-first things first it took a bit of convincing 

-he was wary at first bc of his mom and how would he be a good dad, out for months at a time????

-but like at the same time, he understood, ya'know??? sweet lil u, always as touch starved as he is when he returns to the colony, he always feels so bad when he leaves you behind, and believe me when I say he tried to stay. it did not go well at all, he was literally teetering overhead a mental meltdown so you had to kick him out for his own mental health.

-bbs that smell like him and resemble him would soothe you and his worry about leaving you without a piece of him 🥰

-everybody thought y'all would be one of the first parents and making more after you made that deal with the gardeners, because of how clingy of a couple you two were, literally joined by your hands and how much time you two spent alone together

-y'all lmfao I don't think you know bc of his chronic wanderlust and how he's away months at a time, but my man has high libido and saying that is a literal understatement 

-he is obsessed with you, like borderline yandere but even that's pushing it

-he melts under your touch, he's so dependent on your love

-majority of the time this escalates from cuddling to mating like animals bc like I said, high libido

-when he returns from expeditions, expect to be fucked out, every night until dawn, for a freaking week at least istg 😩

- ^^^ this is why you both got contraceptive implants, like the best ones which can be removed at any time

-he can't get enough, especially if you cling to him during sex like your life depended on him. his heart, his soul, his brain, his body, everything is on overdrive bc he so badly wants to love and be loved back with every fiber of his being, only way he knows how is fucking your brains out pls 😭😭

-man is very handsy behind closed doors, always touching and groping you like it's the very first time, and if you were the same? if he could, he'd have hearts in his eyes 

-he likely knows your body better than he knows his, so expect him to tenderly overwhelm you into squirting

-first time he made you squirt, he made it his mission to go above and beyond

-praise kink go brrr--

"Thaaaat's it, beautiful. F-Fuckin'-oh, hahh--squirt f'me, pretty baby, please?"

"Sh-Show me, sugarbug. Please, baby, show me--ooh, h-how good I make you feel."

-due to his augmentation, he's literally not afraid of anything, even pain

-so fucking overstimulate him

-he lives for your touch, so have your way with him milk him dry, it's all the same to him, long as you touch him, he's so hungry for your attention to the point of self destruction

-he's a cheeky bastard so you gotta work for it at first 

-you never thought a man could squirt until you gave in and gave him what he wanted so desperately

"Fucking--just touch me, already, I can take it, oh stars--you know I can, Y/N, please!"

" 'til 'm shootin' blanks, fuckin' stars, s-s'good!"

-his tears are God tier, like chef's kiss gorgeous

-pretty onyx hues glassy n rolling to the back of his head 🥺

-you were genuinely surprised how intense his orgasm was, n how much cum came squirtin out of him and how far the shot went omg 🥵

-don't remind him, he's still embarrassed that he passed out after that poor bb😭

-any position you can think of, you are you and he wants you for as long as possible.

-despite his initial weariness of knocking you up, he goes full throttle when it's time. it's breeding season, honey.

-when you tell him, 'daddy, plant your seed~' when he's balls deep in your cunt, all train of thought comes to a crashing wailing halt. he completely loses all rhyme or reason, everything except for breeding like a goddamn jack rabbit thrown right out the fucking window. he won't let you go until it takes.

Curses pass his lips like a mantra; he's close, again. He has you caged down in a mating press like an animal, mounted on your overworked wriggling form, his cock bullying your cervix you could almost swear was starting to bruise. You've creamed and been creamed so many times, you've completely lost count. You can only squeal for his baby juice and claw at him the nth time he empties his load and uselessly kick your legs in the air as the sheer weight of his cock sends you over the edge yet again, your cock-drunk babbles only spurring him on.

Your husband was obsessed with you…and it turns out he's hidden a huge breeding kink without either of you knowing about it.

He won't let you go, oh stars, no-he has stamina for days. Not until he either starts shootin' blanks, or passes out. It's highly likely the latter.

You want that baby, right, sugarbug? Keep clinging to him like your life depends on it. Vertumna, just keep begging for his seed, it sends him over the edge every damn time. Never fuckin' fails.

-and oh boy, does it ever take. his sperm count is on the high side and he's a very healthy specimen, and you don't find this out until a few weeks along in your pregnancy

Symbiosis was incredibly taken by your pregnancy. He was a very close friend, always there to help you with your morning sickness among just about every other thing, and a huge cuddle buddy when your hormones started going out of whack. You were hot, then you were cold, both in the physical and emotional sense, and Sym was just the right temperature and ever-patient. It was cute, really, how awestruck he was by your growing belly.

He was incredibly supportive, easily sliding into the position of God-or Gardenfather, rather-of the life inside you quite perfectly, even more so after Dysthymia left a month after the news of success, succumbing to his innate wanderlust.

It wasn't until Sym asked, one day, if you were supposed to grow this fast. The colony had yet to see a pair of twins, and this being your first pregnancy, fear and worry for the worst settled into your bones, and a visit to med bay later, you found you were having not twins…

But healthy triplets, courtesy of your husband's fecundity.

Sym was excited, and that was an understatement. One of the two humans he loved dearly carried not one, not two, but three precious offspring. One of the many reasons he'd put his very existence on the line for, to see your lovely species proliferate. You and your husband proved not so long ago to him, his trust in you was not mistaken; it was well appreciated. 

It was about one week later when Dys returned, to see you as heavy as he remembers Tammy, when she was later along, and if he didn't lose track of time, you were nearing the end of your first trimester, and just moving onto your second.

You were curled up right beside Sym, completely conked out with evidence of crying on your face, tissues and snacks long abandoned in favor of much needed sleep. The alien was wide awake, hand still in the rhythm of comforting strokes along your back. 

It's juvenile of him, he knows, but Dys feels a spark of jealousy briefly ignite in him, seeing you so comfortable in someone else's arms. It's quickly overridden by wonder, however, when he sees just how pregnant you are as he approaches quietly. 

The familiar earthy musk that wafts into the room has your nose doing a bunny twitch. Your pregnancy has heightened some of your senses, if not all; your sense of smell being one of them. In your waking moments, he glances to Sym questioningly. How in Vertumna did you get this big? Was he gone that long??

In turn, the Gardener gave a cryptic smile as you outstretched your arm, drowsily latching onto your husband, almost instinctively. You knew his scent by heart. "Dyyyyys…" you croaked hoarsely. 

"Hello, beautiful." he greets you with a smile, and you only hum contentedly. Sym, out of habit, helps guide your form towards Dys-something he'd picked up from being by your side from the moment he learned you were carrying.

"Whoa, there, I just got home." he starts as you awkwardly koala hug him and attempt to bring him back down with you, "I need to shower, babe." propping himself up, mindful of your belly. You scrunch your face before sleepily crooning an "I don't caaaare…"

"Well, I do. It'll give you a moment to wake up, and when I'm done, I can tell you what happened out there after you tell me what happened here, okay?" he tells you, leaning down to plant a sweet kiss on you, which you return after a brief few moments. 

"Okay?" he repeats softly against your lips, and you hum in reply, finally letting him go with a soft, happy "Welcome home."

-when he learns he planted triplets in you, he will go through so many emotions at once. there's the masculine thrill of he's knocked up his sweet obsession so heavily and the possessive pride that you're carrying his kids, plus the worry what if something goes wrong, especially if he's away??? stars, beautiful! everything is very overwhelming, especially the fact your growing tummy does things to him

-you thought he was handsy before? you are in for a surprise, especially when he feels them move/kick/punch for the first time

-pregnancy sex

-please for the love of Vertumna don't deprive him of lovin'! getting you off is his love language

-if he wasn't fascinated with your tits before oh boy he is now

-watching your tits plump up with milk he's mesmerized

-he learns very quickly your nipples are uber sensitive so he pays very special attention to them

-when you're full and sore and leaking go to him, he's so skilled with his hands he will make you cum from your tits alone he's got a lactation kink but he won't admit it 

Your chest heaves as you pant heavily, still shivering from the aftershocks from the nipple orgasms your husband put you through, thick dribbles of milk still oozing from each one-though not as much as before, his hands having given you relief from carrying too much of the substance.

"You're so gorgeous, Y/N." you hear him praise you, as he takes your trembling legs and hoists them onto one shoulder. "Ready, beautiful? Need to give you some love here, too." he says, and a moment later you feel his heavy cock head against your pulsing entrance. 

You weakly wiggle your hips, impatient for him to fill you up already. He laughs softly, nudging against your eager hole before sliding in. You croon and he all but shudders as your gummy insides greedily pull him in; and he's happy to oblige, sinking balls deep into your pregnant cunt.

"Hhh--fuck, gimme a moment, pretty…" he huffs, his hand traveling to caress your tummy. 

-he's low-key dreading the time you pop, knowing full well how it is it's excruciating and he hates it when you're in pain outside controlled bedroom activities 

-as you're carrying the colony's first set of triplets, he's banned from med bay along with all other non-medical personal 

-anxiety

-and that's an understatement

-man will pace

-and he will get worse with every cry and wail

-paranoia 

-not even Sym can stop him when he hears the sound of your final exhausted scream followed by his third bb starting to wail with their older siblins ssob 🥺

"Let me through!" he shouts. "Dys, I don't think it's wise, man. I know how you--" "No! You don't, so don't even--" he argues with Cal defensively, grabbing his shirt. In turn, Cal's hands fly up peaceably, with a sheepish 'Now, I ain't trying to fight, dude.' which earns him a shove. "Dys, they will be okay." Sym tries to placate him.

"Don't you start, too, Sym." he meets the alien with uncharacteristic sharpness, a surge of agitation rushing through him, heart thrumming against his ribcage anxiously.

Never again. You sounded like you were in agony.

"They need me, they just gave birth to my kids, for Vertumna's sake!" he swears, pushing his way through.

No more kids, even if you wanted them. If the outcome hurts you, never again.

He was worried half to death. "I need to see if they're oh--" he opens the door, trailing off as he sees you.

Your tired, puffy red eyes lift from the triplets, one in each arm and one dozing off on your chest. You smile sweetly at him, and his pattering heart skips a beat. Calling you beautiful would be an understatement. 

Before he knows it, he's by your side, Tammy's giggles and Instance's muttering be damned. He does offer a glance to his twin. Tang simply shrugs her shoulders, nodding to you and the three you held.

The room is then emptied, leaving only him, you, and the amalgamation of your love. He kisses your sweaty temple, gazing in awe at the three wrinkly little wonders. They were smaller than he thought they'd be.

You eventually rest your eyes, smiling serenely, content with the silence. So small and fragile…he was almost afraid to touch them. Almost, but for the most part, uneasy and insecure.

He couldn't get his eyes off of them. One begins to squirm for a brief few moments, and you huff softly, looking up to him then down to the newborns, so much love in your gaze. 

Very hesitantly, he reaches out a finger to the fitful one, the other two sound asleep. The newborn latches onto his finger, turns their head with a soft grunt, and opens their eyes.

Their sweet hues were crossed, and the toothless grin that plasters into their face? It's priceless. He feels a hole in him fill right up, and tears begin to form.

What did he do to deserve such precious things? 

You've given him the greatest gifts he could ever receive, and then some.

-after he officially enters fatherhood, you will notice things change in him.

-it's gradual and these changes start off small, but they are there

-and the first one is he smiles more

-he's smitten with his triplets, always distracting himself with them when you need to sleep.

-he's in over his head at first, but with Sym's guidance from being a nanny for gaggles of kids, he soon learns the ropes

It's only been a few minutes since he's managed to put them to sleep, and he himself was especially tired. He can't help but continue watching the three infants resting on his arm, the heaviness of exhaustion becoming all the more apparent as his eyes burn for sleep. 

Sleep.

It's only been a few months since the trio was born, but he's come to realize many things. 

Each one of them, in their own ways, filled in the cracks that had formed within him throughout his life.

They, alongside you, made him feel more human. 

The moment he saw you on the medical bed holding them, he knew he was enough, just as he was. The colony wasn't a cage, but a nest-a safe place for him you've kept throughout the years, always welcoming him back with open loving arms.

The wall he built, taller and taller; it doesn't crumble into nothing. He's free to come and go, at any point. He simply chooses to stay longer. You needed him. The triplets needed him. 

The four of you always brought new discoveries, and he was eager to explore the family dynamic. 

The oldest grunts just as he's about to doze off, and he flicks on his holopalm to record from habit, onyx hues wide and wakeful, now. A few moments pass, followed by the slow stretch of tiny limbs, and…

'Da…' a soft, but unmistakable word sounds. Pure joy blooms from his heart, his free hand flying to cover his mouth. He stares at the blip that was recording him and the trio, eyes becoming damp. He slides his hand down, and whispers;

"Did you hear that, beautiful? C/N's first word…they're dreamin', baby."

-he is always prepared to document their milestones, no matter how small when he's in the colony

-know how kids usually scream for the parent who was pregnant with them?

-well

-these three scream for Daddy when they throw fits.

-it's like they have a built-in 'Dad's home!' radar, too. and this means most of their tantrums are thrown when it's time for Dys to come home. they're MENACES istg 😭

"NOOOO!!!" the most powerful set of lungs of the trio wails indignantly, Sym's placating voice drowned out into the background, the other two sobbing for their father, huddled up against their triplet.

This builds up for a few days, and they eventually break out of the creche and scamper off to the gates, demanding their dad like the people there can make him come home sooner. Once in a blue moon, he's late, and it takes a lot of work on his part to calm them down.

This usually leads to an exhausted Dysthymia completely conked out with three equally as tired kids cradled by him. And this will happen anywhere in the colony, so you always find yourself guarding their precious nap. They don't get to see each other for months at a time, after all. 🥺

[weafurry]

For the send me a character thing, Pale King! :3

HEEEM! He. The wyrm man. the blorbo himself.

Sexuality headcanon: Pansexual

Gender headcanon: Pangender go brr (he does feel the most connection to male. But everything is still very much so there.)

A ship I have with said character: We all know, its Pale nightmare. Them <3

A BROTP I have with said character: Him and Ogrim. The best of friends. They are dorks, two dumbasses. /aff

A NOTP I have with said character: Him and The Radiance. Saw it once and that was enough. Never again. No thanks please.

Random headcanon: This kind of falls into headcanons of how void poisoning works as well but, oh well. His hands aren't the only thing that got messed up by void (ALSO. in terms of how exactly his hands are messed up, the nerves got pretty fucking fried so numbness + decrease in fine motor skills, there's also the surface level scarring in the form of stains and grooves) , His bodies temperature regulation also got FUCKED, so severe cold flashes and chills are a thing he has to deal with now. Chronic pain too, There's a lot more, but I'm still working out the specifics of void poisoning, how bad it gets, at what points, and how the symptoms differ between mortal bugs and higher beings. So there's some uncertainty there and I don't wanna say something that could change in the future (especially since the mechanics of void is probably one of if not my most detailed headcanons and I'm SUPER proud of it. Seriously I could talk about void for hours. I have become pk /j)

General Opinion over said character: I love him with every FIBER of my fucking being (thats only a slight exaggeration). The autism REALLY went brrr for this one. I am always rotating him in my head. 24/7 365 days a year. I could go on for HOURS about him. It annoys me SO MUCH how dirty the fandom did him tbh. He's SUCH a good character. I wish people would actually look at him instead of just going "hahaha buzzsaw and infanticide jokes go brrrrrr "

[silly-goose-kid]

eOMG ALSO ALSO ALSO!!!!!! Moana’s first two songs are just Tallstar’s Revenge and i will prove it

Where You Are is Sandgorse showing Tallpaw what being a tunneller is like in an AU where Tallpaw was initially a tunnelling apprentice. And here is an art-less because I cant draw walkthrough of my favourite bits :) The chief is Sandgorse, Moana is Tallpaw, the backing singers/tribespeople are the tunnellers, Moana’s mum is Palebird (who is happier since Tallpaw is a tunneller)

“We share everything we make (We make), we joke and we weave our baskets (Ha ha!)”

A cross section of Sandgorse and Tallpaw walking over the moor. Sandgorse is singing. In the ground, you can see a tunnel with miscellaneous tunnellers who sing the parts in brackets. 

“I wanna see / Don’t walk away, Moana stay on the ground now, our people will need a chief and there you are”

Tallpaw tries to tag along with a running patrol, but Sandgorse leads him to a tunnel and explains that the tunnelling group needs their own mini-deputy since the tunnels are so complicated and need specialised knowledge (headcanon). Since Tallpaw is the only tunnelling apprentice, they think it’ll be him.

“Consider the coconut (the what?), consider its tree We use each part of the coconut, that's all we need  We make our nets from the fibers, the water is sweet inside We use the leaves to build fires, we cook up the meat inside Consider the coconuts, the trunks and the leaves The island gives us what we need”

Palebird and Sandgorse are teaching Tallpaw how to tunnel - nets are them spreading mud up the tunnel to reinforce it, water is using rocks to reinforce it, idk about leaves sorry, and then it shows Tallpaw and Palebird leaving the tunnel with Tallpaw carrying a rabbit. 

“I like to dance with the water, the undertoe and the waves The water is mischevious, ha! I like how it misbehaves The village may think I’m crazy, or say that I drift too far But once you know what you like well there you are”

Tallpaw leaves camp at night to sit on the moor and Heatherstar follows to talk to him. The water is the wind.

“You are your father’s daughter, stubbornness and pride Mind what he says but remember, you may hear a voice inside And if the voice starts to whisper to follow the farthest star Moana that voice inside is who you are”

On Outlook Rock, Heatherstar singing to Tallpaw. When she says about the star, it shows Silverpelt over Highstones, and Tallpaw leans forward to look at it. During the very short instrumental (in the style of Gramma’s section) Tallpaw looks thoughtful. When the instrumental changes to match the rest of the song, Tallpaw is shown in a birds-eye view running back to camp. 

The end chorus is Tallpaw being a tunneller and the other tunnellers celebrating him.

MMMMMM i’m tired I’ll post about How Far I’ll Go later brrr

[kalofi]

I'm not into jjba but every time someone talks about narancia I'm like "fuck yeah kalofi's orange boy go brrr brr" anyway I already love his boy even tho I haven't started the show yet

NARANCIA OFFICIALLY MY BOY CONFIRMED 😳😳🥺 loool jokes jokes but that’s so epic!!!!! i adore narancia with every fiber of my being

[badwasabi]

Writing Advice: Shut out shout-outs

Due to the subject matter, I included a larger-than-usual number of references in this one, just for fun. You probably won't find all eight, unless you happen to watch a certain podcast about a certain red-masked superhero and his nubile ginger sidekick partner.

Okay, so you're watching the latest Game of Thrones episode. There's tension, there's shouting, it's very dramatic, you're on the edge of your seat. What next? you think, shoveling popcorn into your mouth.

And suddenly the characters start acting out the "What?" scene from Pulp Fiction.

Your hand stops. Your brow furrows. You mouth hangs open.

This doesn't make sense. The writers just...gave up. They made no real effort to integrate the reference into Westeros. Where'd that paper bag come from? Why is the Mother of Dragons is pulling a Big Belly Burger out of it? What is this? 

I'll tell you what this is. Your hypothetical self has just encountered a bad Shout Out. 

Fanfics, especially by newbie writers, often have this classic blunder. You like Thing, you like Other Thing, you want to put them together like it's peanut butter/jelly time. Let me ask you a question; you might like a nice warm fire. You might like libraries. Would you start a nice, warm fire in the middle of a library? If I needed the insurance money. A public library. Oh. Then no. So you've added the gratuitous reference, you post the chapter, and go on your merry way. Some time later, your reader encounters the reference, and it stops them cold, completely breaking immersion. You were so worried about whether you could that you didn't ask yourself whether you should. One Mass Effect fanfic I read had the bad guys capture Garrus, hang him from a hook, and torture him. Normal enough, right? Well, it was a direct ripoff of the torture scenes from Firefly. Y'know, that "War Stories" episode. Was someone wearing Jayne's hat? Someone was, in fact, wearing Jayne's hat. In a certain Halo fanfic, one of the characters make a crack about how they hadn't seen incompetence like that since the Bush Administration of 21st century Earth. For those of you not familar with the setting, that's be like a  2016 character making a joke about some politican from 1466. Seriously, name someone from the 15th century. Christopher Columbus? Anyone else? Besides Queen Isabella? ...No. You see my point. I bought a cheap watch a year ago. Before the ants ate it*, it looked like a G-Shock. Except that it didn't have the logo, the backlight was more of a frontlight - a bad one - and none of the buttons did what the labels said they were supposed to. Shoehorning in a reference can be like that. It looks good, but the charade falls apart the second you take a closer look. A lot of shoehorned references come without the context that would make them "work" properly. It's not a big problem with individual lines, but when you have to bend the story's universe into a pretzel just to make the reference "fit", you should probably reconsider. And even individual lines can get tiresome if they're intrusive enough. Remember that ME fic I mentioned? The characters often reference popular Firefly lines. It wasn't just the one scene. Which brings me to my next point. References are a crutch, if you rely on them. And in case you're wondering, there's a difference between a pastiche or parody or satire...and an outright ripoff. Also, some works are light-hearted enough to have shedloads of references. Take Deadpool (any medium), Friendship is Magic, or Discworld. And they usually cut back on it when things get heavy, doc. Except Discord, of course, by definition. 

So how do I know when to use shout outs? The same way you get to Carnegie Hall; practice. Get constructive criticism from somewhere. Let readers tell you what works and what doesn't. Read it out loud. Ask yourself if the scene works for readers who don't get the reference. How would you fix the torture scene? Oh, that's easy. Dolores Umbridge. From Harry Potter? Yep. Wouldn't that just make the problem worse? Allow me to explain. Torture scenes are a dime a dozen. Torture scenes where the torturer has some sort of crazy philosophy are a dime a dozen. Religious conviction, punishment, intelligence gathering, Mengele knockoff, dime a dozen. You know what we don't see very often? What? Passive-aggressiveness. Think about it. Umbridge's core personality traits are cloying, syrupy sweetness over an absolute conviction that she's doing The Right Thing. This is a woman who created a brand-new way to torture people - her special quill - and used it on a child. The book said she looked like a toad, but in the films, Imelda Staunton's completely normal appearance is arguably worse. She looks like someone's mum or grandmum. And she's evil. Remember in the forest? The part where she may have been trying to kill Harry and Hermione, and she's still rationalizing? Imagine that with a torturer. She's levering your fingernails off with a scalpel, and still saying that it would really be so much easier if you would just cooperate. Do you think she enjoys hurting you? Why don't you just tell her what she needs to know? Brrr. But enough about my mother. So, in this case, remixing two references is better than using either of them alone. This has to be done well; if you had a generic torturer, but he's actually a woman wearing pink, that's not going to make much of a difference. In fact, it would be jarring for your readers, unless you're in a light-hearted work, or pink is an important color in your story. Maybe it's about "The Flamingo Killer", who always leaves their victims with a pink rose, or pink fibers have been found on the bodies, or something. Which brings me to the last piece of advice; good artists copy, great artists steal. Pretty sure I've heard that before. But what it doesn't say is that mediocre and bad artists also copy. So what's the difference between copying and stealing? Glad you asked, Timmy! Copying is imitating. Stealing is understanding, making it your own. It's the difference between tracing a piece of art and drawing it freehand. Wait. Isn't tracing really useful for learning how to draw? Yes, it is. To a certain point. Then it's better to strike out on your own. If you don't understand why something works, you can't really integrate it into your work. You won't be able to take the parts of it that work and leave the rest, you'll probably just keep ripping it off wholesale. If I may humblebrag; in my fic Ferris, the XCOM team decides that they're going to have to do something really dark. There's a regular soldier nearby, and he's horrified. He says he could never do that type of stuff. The XCOM trooper he's responding to says "That's the idea. We do it, so you don't have to." ...Is that...? Yep. The Nostalgia Critic's catchphrase. Altered and integrated. Now, if I had written "I fight aliens, so you don't have to," that would've been a lot more blatant. Did anyone notice? No one said anything, so...not as far as I know. Then what's the point? To increase the emotional impact of the scene. Instead of forcing a reference to a popular review show that would ruin the emotional impact of the scene. Executive summary: References and shout-outs can be fine, if used sparingly, or in a work where they fit the tone. If not, they'll cut the legs out from any drama you're trying to build. Try and understand why something you're trying to reference works, so you can alter it to fit the new context, instead of plopping it in your story like a scoop of chocolate ice cream on a cheesecake. What type of cheesecake? Boysenberry. Oooh! I love boysenberry pie! Good hunting, Jon PS: Let's talk about obtrusive fandom jokes. For example, take all the RWBY fics that substitute "Monty" for "God". If you don't know who Monty Oum was (creator of the series), it's just a weird joke or some kind of reference you don't get. If you do, then it's a fandom joke with worrying theological implications, since Ren was voiced by Monty. Does that make him Remnant's Jesus, or some kind of avatar of their Creator? Either road, it completely destroys the seriousness of a scene. Imagine if Frodo and Sam swore "by Tolkien", or Captain Picard by "Roddenberry", or Marvel characters by "Stan".

Actually, let's dig deep. You know all those Stan Lee cameos in the MCU? They all fit in even if you don't know who Lee is. You could replace Lee with a bunch of random actors, and with maybe one exception (Avengers), they all make sense. They're funny by necessity, because you can't do something like that without tongue in cheek. I can only remember one dramatic cameo, and that was in Incredible Hulk. The "Monty" joke doesn't have any of that. It can't be justified in the context of the series, unlike a bunch of random old guys throughout the universe who happen to look like Stan Lee. TL DR: If your fandom references don't fit unless your reader knows the context, change them or get rid of them. If you're trying to use an injoke in a serious scene, change it or get rid of it. * More precisely, the watchband. They'll eat anything rubber. 

[ My writing advice posts | Chronological order ]

[inb4vaughn]

PGA Show Day 4: 5 Final Golf Gear Thoughts

Friday at the PGA Show is like a leisurely stroll after a marathon: You can actually savor the sights along the way rather than mark your progress through a grueling, if rewarding, journey. The aisles are less crowded, booths are more accessible and the reps in them are taking almost a visible deep breath, that exhale of satisfaction that comes when the finish line comes into view. But for longtime golf scribes, it comes down to the golf gear thoughts that roll through the skull as the show itself fades into the past — and next year’s is but a pale glow on the horizon.

Golf Tips will go deep into the new, improved, singular and surprising in golf products in the May-June issue of the print magazine and right here online, but as a whirlwind week winds down, some parting observations from Friday’s rounds:

BRIDGESTONE IS A BIGGER PLAYER THAN EVER

After four years away from the showroom floor, Bridgestone Golf is back with a guy named Tiger in their corner and a slew of innovative balls and clubs to back up their latest marketing push. Leading the way is the new E12 Soft ball, a three-piece beauty that performs as advertised for the average player, as proved when Golf Tips editors knocked a few into the night at Orlando’s huge Drive Shaft golf center. Several colors are available and the price is right. Then there’s the Tour B XW1 wedge, which takes the company’s short game mojo to a new level. The boys from Atlanta are in a sweet spot right now.

A “cool” Southern Tide shirt

GOLF APPAREL IS COOLING DOWN

At least two apparel companies we visited — behemoth UnderArmour and Greenville, South Carolina-based regional player Southern Tide — have rolled out shirt lines that utilize cutting-edge fibers to keep golfers cool under, well, anything. The latter company just announced a partnership with a company called brrr, which pretty much says it all. The cloth is literally cool to the touch. Amazing. We can’t wait to rock it on the sunny fairways.

LOUDMOUTH PUTS ITS SHOES ON

Already a household word in colorful golf duds, the John Daly-endorsed California company that puts volume into every hacker’s wardrobe has just announced a partnership with Etonic to produce golf shoes that will turn those toes into a loud and proud fashion statement. We also love their deeper dive into the hat space and their ever-widening selection of patterns (some 50 new  ones this year alone). Maybe it’s time for us previously staid and muted old-timers to show a little Loudmouth flair, from head to toe. www.loudmouthgolf.com

COBRA UNCOILS ANOTHER WINNER

Every year we get more impressed with Cobra’s golf club innovations, and this year’s King F9 Speedback with its “Ultimate Carbon Wrap,” adjustable weights and bright-yellow-on-black appearance, just keeps the streak going. We’ve put its F8+ predecessor into play for the past year and can’t see anyone prying it from our hands at the moment, but give us a few go-rounds with this baby and that could change.

TOUR EDGE IS THE CHAMPIONS TOUR CHOICE

A look at the latest edition of this venerable “best-bang-for-the-buck” manufacturer’s CBX fairway metals, hybrids and driving irons reveals what Champions Tour studs Tom Lehman, Scott McCarron and others already know — you don’t have to pay a premium price to take advantage of game-breaking technology in club construction and materials. With their Speed Ramp soles and further-forward center of gravity, the CBX 119 sticks get the ball up in the air with ease, are a wonder for working the ball, and are in more bags on the senior circuit than you’d think. Together with designer David Glod’s other lines, for a formidable collection of wallet-friendly alternatives to the “bigger boys’” offerings. We can’t wait to see these guys have in store next — just as we can’t wait to dig into the rest of the deep and wide array of products we checked out this week.

In other words, stay tuned, and happy gearing.

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from Golf Tips Magazine http://bit.ly/2B69Wl4