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page-doctor-bekker · 3 years

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transfemme!sarah au

thinking about transfemme!sarah

literally coming up with this au on the fly but here you go

this is literally so long but whatever i like it

there are a couple trigger warnings in this (suicide, hate crimes), they’re listed in bold italicized writing before and after the trigger so you can easily skip them. this is in bullet point format.

anyways i love this and i'm obsessed with it so enjoy! first chicago med au. it doesn't really have a name yet but i'm tagging it transfemme!sarah for now

from the minute sarah was born she was definitely different, and her parents actually had her tested for autism

then got her tested again when the first one was negative. and then again when the second one was negative.

her parents were actually so positive that she was autistic that finally one of the psychologists ended up giving her a PDDNOS (pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified) diagnosis until a therapist suggested gender dysphoria

i mean back then kids weren’t trans they were just Troubled(tm)

so up until she was about nine or so they figured she just didn’t have enough care for social cues that she didn’t understand gender enough to act like a boy instead of acting like a girl. she refused to wear “boy’s” clothes which was mistaken for sensory issues, had anger issues and outbursts that were mistaken for meltdowns, they really thought she was autistic

i mean. she pretended to breastfeed baby dolls for christ’s sake.

anyways once her therapist figured this out, she was discharged and transferred to a gender specialist psychologist who revoked the pddnos diagnosis and switched it to a gender dysphoria diagnosis

sarah’s mom was completely on board and had quietly suspected it herself but her dad

hooo boy her dad

her dad hated the idea so much that he basically walked out and never came back

sarah started going by sarah because she loved sarah from hocus pocus

anyways she was 9 when she changed her name and she moved schools because she was getting bullied

when she was 10 all her girl friends at her new school started growing boobs and getting their periods and sarah started getting really depressed

which ultimately lead her mom to take her to an endocrinologist that specialized in gender diverse care

and she started puberty blockers

sudden new issue: sarah is terrified of needles. her childhood vaccines caused full-blown panic attacks and the blockers were no different.

she is horrifically stubborn and determined to make this work though

so she kept going. and every week she had a panic attack and had to skip her injections a couple times because she just couldn’t handle it

but eventually, her panic attacks got less and less overwhelming with the help of being prescribed a benzo to take fifteen minutes before her injection. eventually once she could handle the injections with the help of the benzo, they tapered it off until she could 100% handle needles sober. this took close to two years, but she did it.

(side note - this positive experience with exposure therapy was why she was so keen on trying it during s3 with dr charles)

so at this point she’s about twelve and still feels left out from her peers. she’s going into middle school, her friends are all growing up physically and she just feels left behind

her mom tries to convince her that some girls are just late bloomers, she can still fit in even if she waits to go on estrogen, nobody is going to suspect a thing, etc etc etc

but it gets really bad. her dysphoria gets terrible and she starts having panic attacks so severe that she had to leave school and be homeschooled.

SUICIDE TW UNDER HERE

then sarah attempts suicide

she spends about a month in the psych ward to recover, and ultimately the doctors advised starting low dose hormone replacement to alleviate her dysphoria

SUICIDE TW OVER

sarah cried when she had her first estradiol injection, but this time it was happy tears, not tears of panic

she had injections weekly, and as she started to see changes she got so, so much happier

fat redistributed, her skin got softer, she even started to grow breasts. lots of fun stuff.

they later added progesterone for more effects when she was in highschool

also in highschool she found out she was a lesbian. not important rn but that did happened

her graduation gift from her mom was breast augmentation surgery <3 congratulations sarah ily

after all that, she finally decided she wanted to go into medicine.

so she started college and moved to chicago

the first year of college, she was out and proud and even had an officer position at the gsa on campus

HATE CRIME TW

in her second year she was the victim of a pretty bad hate crime committed by a group of frat boys on campus. she was attacked walking home from a party at night.

HATE CRIME TW OVER

while she recovered from that experience, both mentally and physically, she had to take a gap year from college and move back home with her mother

her mother persuaded her to finish her degree closer to home, so sarah stayed home for the last two and a half years of college, and upon graduating college, she decides to move back to chicago for med school

this time she stays closeted because she has ptsd from college

first three years are uneventful but she does quietly get a bottom surgery consult, but she decides not to move forward for awhile

and that brings us to season one

alrighty season one

as we know there’s a lil mild homophobia and whatnot in the hospital and as a result of that, sarah deals with some lovely compulsive heterosexuality and is still extremely closeted

so she dates joey even though she is most definitely a lesbian in denial but she doesn’t tell him she’s trans out of fear

then things with joey get even more serious and he wants to get intimate with her, so he makes an advance one night when they’re home watching a movie

so she lies her way out of it, says she’s waiting for marriage and not ready and blah blah blah

total lies

she’s a lesbian and she knows this

so anyways she breaks up with him right after she graduates med school, quits pathology to avoid him, and mourns the loss for a bit before she realizes

she wants to move forward with bottom surgery

so she schedules an orchiectomy and has that done during the time before she was hired by dr. charles

for laymen, an orchiectomy is the removal of the the testicles :) typically the first step in multi-stage bottom surgery, which is where you do each stage of bottom surgery at different times

anyways it fits into the timeline because recovery from that procedure takes less than a week

then dr charles hires her for s2, events of s2 go as written

then the sexy ava bekker moves to chicago med from south africa and sarah is SMITTEN

anyways i should probably stop here and avoid spoilers

well whatever i'm open to asks abt this <3

#chicago med world #special interest world #chicago med au #reesker #sarah reese #ava bekker #transfemme!sarah #what do y'all tag your writing as #chicago med #sarah reese x ava bekker #ava bekker x sarah reese #crockettstiddies #i hope you don't mind i tag that #i feel like you'd maybe be into this though? idk #or at least i love your work and would love for you to see mine :)

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shade-romeo · 4 years

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For Sanders Sides writing prompts - Logince with trans! ace! Logan please?

Of course!

I may have gotten carried away. (BTW they're college students in this)

Also, uhhh, don't mind me, sneaking in my goth Roman agenda. OH and a tw for referenced homo/transphobia.

Logan pushed open the library doors, backpack in hand, expecting to walk in, sit down, and start studying.

But of course, just his luck, it seemed that the library was holding an event today.

Occasionally the owner of the library would put together an event to try and get the people in this small town to be civil to one another. The owner was a nice man, and he meant well, but it was hard for one person to do so much. He had heard through the grapevine that he had hired one of his twin daughters to help organize and plan.

Good for him.

Anyway, Logan stepped further inside and looked around, there was a table with food, (admittedly not much food, but.. food nonetheless), and it seemed the other tables were occupied by.. people, all talking and seemingly having a wonderful time.

He was about to just turn around and leave, because, social situations? Yeah, no thank you. But before he could turn, there was another person standing next to him.

"You look confused, and also mildly scared. Are you alright?"

Logan blinked, looking over and analyzing them on instinct.

They stood only up to his shoulders, and wore brown lace up boots with black jeans, and a black shirt with an almost gothic looking playing card design, the queen of hearts to be specific.

They also wore a red hoodie, and a necklace with a sword and sheild charm hanging from the silver chain. And Logan couldn't help but notice the pins attached to their jacket. Both pride pins, one displaying the bisexual flag, and another for the.. transgender flag.

And maybe Logan felt a pang of happiness seeing another person like him in a town that actively shunned those that were different.

Logan looked to their face now, eyes skirting from their hair (which looked as if it was dyed a blood red, but it was severely faded now. The sides of their head were also buzzed, leaving a large fluffy looking mop of hair that fell to the side of their head, going down to their shoulders), all the way down to the piercing on their lip.

He would be lying if he were to say that they weren't attractive.

Objectively of course.

Only when the stranger started snapping in his face, did he come to his senses.

"I.. apologize. I was lost in my thoughts."

They shrugged, "It's fine, happens to the best of us. Which is why it happens to me, very often." They grinned, putting their hands on their hips.

Logan couldn't help but roll his eyes, "Yes, of course. Now uhm.. do you have any information about the event? I'm a bit confused."

"Hm? Oh yeah! It's a pride event! Kinda like a.. GSA, but for the whole town. It's supposed to give all the LGBT people in town a chance to meet others like them, and find people to lean on if they need support!" They explained, and showed off their pins,

"Hence the pride pins. We asked everyone who came in to grab pins from the reception desk, so people can get to know you without talking to you. A trick I learned from my friend Virgil. He's told me that he's an expert on this kind of thing. I don't believe him of course, but you just gotta nod and agree sometimes."

Logan nodded, taking a second to process all the information. "I see.. that's, wonderful. It's amazing that these people are being brought together in the name of helping one another out."

They grinned, "Thank you! I just figured, since my dad gave me full creative control, I'd try to come up with something to.. help people, y'know?"

Logan nodded, "Yes, of course."

....

Wait..

Dad?

Logan's brain went a million miles a minute, tuning out the stranger as they continued talking.

Their father's presumably the owner of the library, from what they said about him giving them creative control over the event, which means that this is one of his daughters, Reina, or Rose. But, they were wearing a trans pin, so they could possibly have a different name, or pronoun then what he's been told, but then again they could also have transitioned to female and now go by Rose or Reina- Fuck! Which twin is this?!

He finally tuned back in when, Rose? Reina? Finished off their rant with an apology, "I tend to just.. talk, and talk, and.. not stop."

"No, it's.. it's fine. You're alright. If I may ask though, and I apologize if this seems out of the blue but, uhm.. what is your name and pronouns?"

They?? She?? He???? went wide eyed, "Oh my gosh, I never even told you my name! I'm so sorry. I'm Roman, he/him pronouns." He stuck out his hand with an apologetic smile, and Logan decided that he couldn't and wouldn't mention the name Rose or Reina. He didn't want to deadname him and come off as an asshole.

"It's alright, I haven't told you mine either." He took Roman's hand, shaking it. "My name is Logan, he/him as well."

"Great! Now uh.. would you wanna join in on the event?" Roman asked with a hopeful smile, and Logan found himself smiling as well.

"Yes, of course."

And so, Roman led him over to the reception desk, waiting patiently as he grabbed a trans and ace pin, connecting them to his t-shirt.

Roman grinned, "It's wonderful to meet someone who shares the same experiences."

Logan nodded with a smile, "I agree."

The two continued to talk for a long while, at some point having gone to sit down at one of the tables. Logan found himself staying and talking with Roman until long after the event was over, even going so far as to help him and his father clean up.

By the end of the night, they had exchanged numbers and decided to meet up at the library as soon as their class schedules allowed it.

And as Logan made the long walk home, he decided that maybe.. maybe Roman was pretty attractive.

Objectively, and otherwise.

(Reblogs > Likes)

#logince #roman sanders #logan sanders #goth roman #bc hoo boy i love me goth roman #tw referenced homophobia

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coeurdastronaute · 4 years

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Essays in Existentialism: Troublemaker (Before)

Previously on Troublemaker

“See! You’re having a good time!”

The music pulsated through the streets, and Lexa didn’t care that her sister was gloating because she really was having a good time despite all intentions otherwise. The sun was bright and glaring without a cloud in the sky, and downtown was brimming with all colors, alive and vibrant, celebrating. And she as swept up in it, proud and overflowing with the music and freedom of being completely herself and being completely unknown in the crowd.

It’d been a hard fought battle for her to agree to come with her sister to Pride, but she didn’t have anything else to do, and because of Anya’s need to be an overachiever, something they both ascribed to genetics, she was going to be doing an internship and leaving soon enough, thus cutting their summer together incredibly short. The guilt and her sister’s incessant need to prove a point brought them downtown for the day, and Lexa was almost okay with it.

“I knew you would like it,” Anya gloated, dancing around with her sister in the pulsating group of bodies at the concert in the park.

“Is it always like this?”

A gaggle of scantily-clad men moved through in nothing but speedos and suspenders, and Lexa let one of them grab her and twirl her around. The entire day, she’d been absolutely adored and adoring of everyone around her. An inundation of love and support was enough to make her unsure of how to go back to real life.

Her sister watched as Lexa danced, hands up, smiling wide and overjoyed. She enjoyed the fact that her sister came out to her and she could actually do something about it. Though straight, Anya spent her first two years of college taking a crash course in gay when her random roommate was a very out and very proud girl who liked to use Anya as a wngman. She was incredibly helpful in coming up with things to help Lexa feel normal and supported, and Anya was going ot be the best big sister possible. She was that type A.

“Pride is always like this,” Anya promised. “And you get to be super gay anytime you want. Isn’t that great?”

“You’re worse than mom and dad. They’re like oddly proud to have a gay kid.”

“Nah, just because you’re you.”

“Shut up,” Lexa rolled her eyes and moved, wiggling around, goofy and carefree.

For the entire day, the sisters moved through the crowds, checking out vendors, eating delicious food, listening to speakers, and got decked out in glowing necklaces and rainbows painted on their faces. It was exhausting to be so gay, but Lexa finally understood what she’d been missing in her fear of joining the GSA, and her fear of being out at school. She hadn’t thought about how wonderful it would be to not have to worry about hiding, or at least, not actively living.

“Thank you,” Lexa offered, as the pair stood on the side of the road for the parade. She hugged her sister as the sun began to set between the tall buildings. “This has been the best day of my life.”

“You’re a sap.”

“I am not.”

“You are.”

“I’m not,” she smiled and danced around, her sister not used to such a carefree girl in front of her. “I’m just super gay-- Oops, I’m so sorr--”

Lexa stopped moving after bumping into someone behind her, not paying attention and living her life too widely and too queerly for such a confined area. She gaped and stared at the body she bumped into, more mortified than she’d been in her entire life.

The body came attached to a pretty face. A familiar face. A face with bright blue eyes, and a mischievous grin and a messy bunch of wavy blonde hair. A face that had a tongue ring. A face that was attached to the girl who protested the Sadie Hawkins dance, the pep rally, and last year single handedly turned the swimming pool pink for women’s history month.This was the same face that Lexa couldn’t help but stare at anytime she walked by in the halls at school. This was the face that didn’t even know she existed.

Clarke Griffin stared back in equal parts amazement at the girl who did the bumping. In all of her wildest dreams, she never imagined Lexa Woods, class president, Academic Decathlon team captain, Student of the Quarter, perfect attendance-winning, overall adorable nerd, would be standing next to her at Pride. And not just standing-- dancing, covered in rainbows, and smiling in something other than a primly put together button up shirt with a schedule strapped to her chest.

“Clarke,” Lexa gulped, unable to say anything else, unable to hide her fear and confusion. “I-I-I… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bump into you. I was just… um… ”

“It’s okay. Kind of close quarters and you were just being super queer,” she returned gracefully as she eyed the entire being of Lexa on summer break. “I didn’t think I’d run into anyone here. I thought everyone left for summer.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Oh, I’m always recruiting people for my zine. Intersectional politics and good music with a queer tint. Honestly, it’s whatever anyone submits. We set up a tiny booth,” Clarke explained, rambling slightly. “And I’m kind of gay.”

“Kind of?”

This was incredibly new and important news to Lexa, even if she didn’t know what to do with it.The entire school knew that Clarke ran with the same crowd, a crowd Lexa didn’t know anything about other than idle gossip. And it always looked like she was very close to Bellamy Blake. Romantically close.

“Bi.”

“You have to go?”

“No-- no… I’m bisexual.”

Lexa felt her face burn and she wanted to melt into a puddle, right there in the early June evening. Maybe disappear into the sewer and wash away into the sea for the rest of time. But she didn’t. Instead, she just stood there, in front of the biggest badass tough guy hot girl she’s ever seen in her entire life.

It was the longest they’d ever spoken, and she’d ruined it in under three minutes after learning that Clarke was gay-ish.

“That’s cool,” she finally managed, earning a small smile.

Clarke pushed some hair away from her face and scratched her neck, using the pause to look at Lexa’s legs. She couldn’t help it. She didn’t try too much.

“Is this your first Pride?”

“Is it that obvious?” Lexa sighed, bashful at her display.

“No, you look cute. I like the festiveness.”

That didn’t help anything at all. Lexa looked around for her sister who made herself busy talking to other people and not at all available to bail her out of saying anymore words.

“I’m gay,” Lexa finally blurted after a prolongued moment of silence.

“That’s cool.”

“Thanks.”

A shout reached them over the noise of the parade, and both looked in that direction.

“I have to um,” Clarke looked over her shoulder at the group that was calling her name. “I have to go catch up with my friends.”

“Right, yeah, definitely.”

“It was good to see you, Woods,” she grinned as she backed away. “I hope I get to bump into you again.”

“Right, yeah! Me, uh. Me too,” Lexa nodded.

With another wave, Clarke was gone, swept up by her friends as they moved through the crowd. Lexa caught the look that Clarke gave her over her shoulder and she smiled because she got a look back. It might not have meant anything, but it still felt kind of good.

“Your first Pride, and you’re getting chatted up by a grade A hottie. I’m impressed,” her sister slung her arm over her shoulder.

“That was just a girl from school.”

“She was not what I pictured for your type.”

“I don’t-- I don’t have a type,” Lexa furrowed.

“Everyone does. It just so happens that yours seems to be punk baddies with probable daddy issues.”

“There’s no way you could know--”

“She was digging you too, by the way.”

“There’s no-- I don’t-- She wouldn’t-- That was-- No,” Lexa shook her head.

“Trust me. I’ve seen gay relief, and that girl was gay relieved you were gay.”

“That’s not a thing.”

“Don’t be mad because i have my ear to the ground in the gay community,” Anya shook her head. “I’ll have you know that Kaitlyn said I’d make a great lesbian.”

“Please let me die right here.”

XXXXXXXXXX

The library on Fourth Street was nearly always empty around the end of lunch time. It seemed to empty out come the hottest part of the day with the normal crowd of parents and kids looking to stay busy during the long summer hours came in for story time and craft projects.

With no particular impetus to move quickly, Lexa pushed her cart of returns through the aisles and rearranged any messy or disorganized stacks she found. But her head wasn’t particularly in it.

Instead, Lexa thought about Pride, and replayed the entire interaction with a certain mild degenerate who had a pretty smile, who called her cute, she realized, halfway through overanalyzing it again for the hundredth time. All she could wonder was if this is what having a crush felt? And if so, was it possible to have crush after just three minutes? Nothing really prepared her for this. How could it? He didn’t have time for a crush. She only had to focus and get into the school she wanted. And then she could be who she thought she might want to be.

“Hey Woods.”

Lexa stopped as she turned to the next aisle, only to find the exact subject of her internal debate. There was a book tucked into her elbow as she retracted an arm reached out to grab something on a top shelf. Lexa looked to her bare arms, and then to her hips where a flannel was tied, and only subtly hiding her short shorts and some of the long legs and Lexa was gay.

“I know it’s a library, but I’m sure you can talk a little bit,” Clarke smiled.

Sunglasses tucked and holding her hair up out of her face, the girl had a motorcycle helmet tucked into the same elbow as the book.

“Hey,” Lexa managed.

“You work here?”

“Yeah, just doing some little things, stacking, kids story time and stuff.”

“Sounds fun,” Clarke nodded. She leaned against the shelf behind her and watched Lexa push her glasses up on the bridge of her nose. This was the Lexa she was used to seeing, and it did nothing to make her less interested, which was insanely weird.

“Here for anything good?”

“Uh, just some of the summer reading for Lit. And I’m kind of interested in a few SAT practice books. I took it already, but there’s one more that I can take before applications are due, and I’d like to see if I can do a little better.”

It certainly wasn’t the reason Lexa expected, but she should have known better to expect anything from someone she really didn’t know other than through stories of stories of stories from other people.

“Sounds like you have a busy summer planned.”

Clarke laughed and ducked her head and Lexa tried not to be entranced by the action.

“Have to keep busy between the protests and debauchery.”

“Right, same.”

“Everyone kind of left for the summer, it seems. It’s kind of nice, isn’t it?”

“I was thinking the same thing,” Lexa agreed. “I miss my friends, but I’ve gotten a lot of things done.”

“I’m sure you’re already done with the summer homework.”

“No… well, just most of it.”

“We’re two weeks into summer break, Woods,” Clarke pretended to admonish. Lexa shrugged, slightly guilty. “We’re going to have to find something to keep you busy.”

“I think work will take care of that.”

“You’re forgetting that I saw you at Pride. I know that you know how to have fun,” she teased, wiggling her eyebrows slightly. “And I know that you find me absolutely irresistible and cute.”

“How could you possibly know that?”

“So you admit it then?”

“What? No,” Lexa shook her head and pushed her cart down the row, looking for the place to put the next in her pile.

But Clarke wasn’t ready to leave, and she hung around, pushing off of the shelf only to follow Lexa and hover closer than Lexa could almost handle.

“You checked me out at Pride.”

“I did not.”

“You did. I saw it. And you let me know you were interested in girls. If you didn’t know yet, I’m a girl, so the math seems to be adding up.”

“Correlation does not imply causation,” Lexa responded quickly. “Your logic is not at all close to sound.”

“So you don’t like me?”

“I don’t even know you. If anything, I just find your face and,” Lexa moved her hand in Clarke’s direction, “that, all, pleasing.”

“Good to know.”

“Who even walks around telling people that they find them attractive. It’s maddening to have that much confidence.”

Lexa jammed the book into the shelf as Clarke leaned beside her, grinning that grin that meant she was amused. That was also maddening. All of it suddenly was maddening, and Lexa missed the quiet of her shelves and wished she could go back in time and not let herself go to Pride. Then she wouldn’t have to see Clarke Griffin.

“I like to have a healthy opinion of myself.” Lexa snorted. “And you should have one of yourself. Want to know a secret?”

It was the smile that did it. And the eyes. But Lexa looked at Clarke and softened somewhat. It was due to the proximity, she told herself. Nothing else that she could control.

“Sure.”

“I didn’t really need these books,” Clarke offered. “I mean, I could have just ordered them online like a normal person. And I live closer to the Redwood Branch.”

“Then why’d you come here?”

“Hard to imagine you’re the valedictorian,” she chuckled. “I came to see you.”

“Me?”

“Yeah. I saw you at Pride and was intrigued. Thought I might feel it out a little bit.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Why not, Woods?” Clarke sighed. “I’ve got nothing but time and… well, I didn’t know you were into girls.”

“How can you be so just… How can you just say what you’re thinking?”

“Lots of practice,” she smiled.

“I could never imagine just… just… just…” Lexa waved her hands around slightly as she tried to explain what she couldn’t. “I couldn’t just do that. What if it went badly?”

“Is it going badly?”

“No, but-- wait. Maybe. What I mean is…” It didn’t help that Clarke was leaning closer and Lexa was stuck in the stacks with a girl that was flirting with her and she’d never had that before and it was way better than she could have ever imagined. “Wouldn’t ou have been embarrassed if I just ignored you or something?”

“Oh yeah, big time,” Clarke nodded. “But my dad used to tell me to do one thing every day that scared me. Figured I’d get it done before dinnertime today.”

She was charming and honest and refreshing and unlike anyone Lexa had ever met. It was a whirlwind.

“I have to finish this before my shift ends,” she tore her eyes away from Clarke’s and looked back at her cart.

“Right, yeah, definitely,” Clarke agreed.

“I should do that.”

“I should go check these out.”

“Maybe I’ll see you around this summer.”

“Yeah,” Clarke grinned. “Maybe.”

Lexa stood there as Clarke turned back toward reception.

“Clarke-- I um,” Lexa watched as she turned around. “I’ve never flirted… with anyone, really.”

“That is surprising news.”

She could tell from her tone that it wasn’t news, and Lexa pursed her lips and set her jaw. She stood a little straighter, steeling herself.

“I hope I see you around.”

“We do seem to keep running into each other.”

With a final smile, Clarke winked and disappeared.

XXXXXXXXXX

Standing outside of the house on the corner, Clarke looked at the perfectly trimmed hedges and the flag that hung by the door. The lawn was manicured and neat, the house was beautiful, lit up and glowing with life inside in the waning light. It was in the suburbs and insanely suburban. A tire swing hung from a giant oak. A basketball hoop hung over the garage.

For the life of her, Clarke wasn’t sure how she ended up here, except that she made herself stand awkwardly in front of Lexa Wood’s house. Three years ago, she met Lexa as a freshman, and instantly had a crush on the girl who argued with her in history class. But Clarke also decided to avoid having a crush on the cute girl who pushed up her glasses and tried very hard to be absolutely perfect.

She still kind of always had a crush, despite her refusal to admit it. For the past three years, Clarke tried to make Lexa smile from time to time. She’d do something stuipd and make sure Lexa was watching.

But Pride was one of the few times in the past year they’d spoken. And Clarke was certain that now was her chance, so she took it. And after the library, she spent every day for a week and a half showing up at the library. She brought Lexa lunch a few times, followed her around the stacks, chatting and fully developing a crush. It was easy to do. Lexa was funny, and serious, and witty, and quiet, and smart, like ridiculously smart, and she wasn’t afraid of Clarke, or intimidated. She debated her with vigor, had opinions, had plans, and more importantly, had dreams.

Clarke knew why she was standing on Lexa’s front porch, and she knew why she was slightly nervous to knock, she just hated someone being able to do that, in equal parts as much as she craved it.

She took a deep breath and reminded herself that this was good before she knocked.

“Hey,” Lexa greeted her, smiling and pushing up her glasses as she does her best to not look winded from running to the door.

“Hey,” Clarke sighs, matching her grin, forgetting all of the thoughts of before. “You look really nice.”

“Thanks. I, uh, you too. I like the black eye in particular.”

“Oh, this?” she motioned toward the eye that had a little bruising. “Just, um. Bopped myself in the face while working out.”

“What were you doing? Boxing?”

“Krav Maga. My partner got a little overzealous.”

“Goodness.”

“I’ll try to be extra charming to make up for my disfigurement. I hope your gentle eyes can make it past my horrible appearance.”

“I’ll do my best to look past it.”

“Good,” Clarke smiled and handed over a helmet. “Are you ready for the first date?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

They walked toward the motorcycle sitting near the curb. Clarke pressed her palm to the flat of Lexa’s back. She handed over a helmet and Lexa looked at it curiously.

“For your protection. Have you ever ridden on anything like this before?”

“I’ve driven go karts.”

“Not the same thing,” Clarke chuckled. “Here, I’ll help.”

The helmet eclipsed her, but Lexa tilted it upwards so that Clarke’s skilled fingers could tighten the strap beneath it. She lifted the visor and watched Clarke work.

“I feel like a badass.”

“You are.”

“Do I look the part?” Lexa asked, smiling slightly as Clarke hopped on the motorcycle and put on her own helmet.

“Very much,” she promised, flipping down both of their visors. “Hold on tight.”

The date wasn’t anything fancy, but Clarke was hoping it was enough. They drove to the park, with Lexa’s arms wrapped tightly around her, and she took the long way, nice and slow, just for that reason.

The park was busy, fully of people ready to enjoy the evening and a movie. Clarke unloaded a blanket and her backpack full of snacks, fully prepared to show off her dateable skills. From what she knew about Lexa, she assumed it was her first first date, and she was going to set the bar extremely high.

Before the movie started, they talked about nothing in particular, and Clarke was careful to get in a little teasing, which Lexa returned, smiling the entire time, challenging her. During the movie, Clarke let Lexa lay her head on her lap, and shivered because she gave her the only sweatshirt she had.

Even after it ended, they remained, hanging out in the twilight and talking, hovering, close and unsure and happy. Later into the night, after another trip back to Lexa’s, Clarke bashfully stood on the porch and earned a hug and completely bungled the kiss, unable to read Lexa and unable to make herself that brave.

“Did you have a good time?” Clarke ventured, leaning against the railing.

“I really did. Thank you.”

“Maybe we could do it again sometime.”

“I’d like that.”

“Good.”

“Great,” Clarke grinned.

“Great.”

XXXXXXXXXX

It was almost like a game at this point, for Lexa to stumble upon Clarke somewhere in the library during her shift. Rarely was it in the same place twice, and rarely was it when she was expecting it, though she found herself always looking forward to the smile and girl that sometimes brought her snacks.

For the first month of summer break, Lexa didn’t even realize she’d spent most of it talking to or spending time with Clarke Griffin. It just kind of happened, and she found herself getting attached. She found herself flirting, or so she thought. She definitely found herself flirted with, which was still so wonderful.

Clarke wasn’t what she’d thought. She was insanely frustrating and still too hot for her own good, and smarter than she wanted anyone to know, while at the same time being absolutely addicted to her moral code and her’s alone.

In a month, Lexa learned that Clarke was not in a gang, despite everyone thinking it was a gang, but rather had a close knit group of friends that occasionally contributed to shenanigans of a disruptive nature. She learned that she was a hell of an artist, sketching things here and there, and when they ventured out on a hike or spent time lounging around, showed her sketchbook very timidly. She learned that Clarke’s father died three years ago, and that was where she disappeared to freshman year. She learned that Clarke liked to work on her motorcycle herself instead of taking to a shop because she wanted to feel closer to her father. Lexa spent an entire afternoon learning parts of the bike and helping with an oil change.

For an entire month, Clarke pushed Lexa. She pushed her to go on dates. She pushed her to jump off of the old bridge foundation at the river when they went swimming. She pushed her to watch a few movies she wasn’t sure of. She pushed her to egg street signs for the first time ever.

“Excuse me, but I’m looking for a book about a cute librarian who has a crush on a girl named Clarke. Know where I can find that?”

Lexa smiled despite herself as she turned the corner in one of the farther aisles in the library’s second floor.

“I was just thinking about you.”

“All good things I hope.”

“More or less.”

That seemed like good enough for Clarke who returned Lexa’s smile. The two stood there, close in the tight aisle, but used to the proximity.

“I was wondering if you’d like to come over tonight. We could watch a movie and you could read my essay and give a million edit suggestions. I’ll even let you use your red pen.”

“It shows up better.”

“Yeah yeah,” Clarke humored her.

“I’ll be over after dinner then.”

“Good.”

“Were you leaving already?” Lexa furrowed as Clarke shoulder her backpack and shifted instead of getting comfortable or even grabbing some of the books to help her put back on the shelves.

“I have to see a guy about a thing.”

“Just a drive by today, and no snack?”

“Like I would ever leave you wanting,” Clarke tsk’d as she dug in her bag and pulled out Lexa’s favorite assortment of gummy bears. “I know what you like, Woods.”

“You’re spoiling me. I’ll have to start working out more often or I’ll be too slow for track.”

“You’re fit. I mean, you’re--”

“Perv.”

“Sometimes,” Clarke shrugged.

Lexa held her bag of snacks in her hand and smiled at them softly. She saw Clarke’s shoes nearly touching her own, and when she looked up, she realized how close they truly were. But she didn’t move. She just stood there and tried to figure out what Clarke’s eyes were saying, because they were furrowed until they weren’t, and then there was a peace there, a decisive calm.

Lexa felt a hand on her shirt, grasping it near her heartbeat. Clarke paused before she did it, waiting for Lexa to pull away, asking for permission. Only when she got it, did she lean forward and kiss Lexa enough to take her breath away. The only thing Lexa could hear was the blood thumping in her ears, but she ignored it and kissed Clarke back eagerly.

“Thanks, Woods,” Clarke murmured after a few seconds. “I needed that.”

“Yeah, no, yeah.”

“I’ll see you later.”

“Right, later, mhm,” Lexa nodded and ran her thumb along her bottom lip as Clarke moved, leaving her rooted and blushing.

“If you liked that, we could do it more often,” Clarke offered as she walked backward out of the shelves.

“Sounds very good to me.”

234 notes · View notes

harleyhua-archive · 3 years

Text

it’s elle again! took me longer than I thought it would, but i’m here with the bio of my second son, harley. he’s my newest oc; i’ve had him for about a year, but i didn’t get to rp much during that time. i’m fluent in asl, so harley has a special place in my heart. usually my gifs that include him signing won’t actually match the signs up to what he’s saying, but this one does. he’s signing ‘hello, my name is....’ so it felt like an appropriate intro post.

[ chella man, genderqueer trans man, 21, he/him ] did you see who just walked in? it was that JUNIOR, the ╳ + HARDWORKING AND - DISORGANIZED ╳ one? you know, the one who lives at SONTHENA HALL, HARLEY HUA! i heard they are majoring in ART and they can’t wait to get out of here to BECOME AN ILLUSTRATOR. crap! stop staring, here they come!

name. harley hua hometown. detroit, mi major. art (illustration) birthday. may 27th, 2000 gender. trans man, genderqueer orientation. pansexual religion. jewish languages. english, asl, some cantonese and french hobbies. cheerleading, drawing, comic books

[ BIO ] [ tw. gender dysphoria ]

harley was born hard of hearing, although it wasn’t discovered until he was six. his audiologist discouraged his parents from teaching him sign, saying he would stop talking and stunt his language skills, so he grew up using his hearing aid and filling in the gaps with lipreading.

his yearly hearing tests showed he was gradually going deaf. he kept getting stronger hearing aids and being able to catch less and less of what was happening around him. the expectation was that he would get better at reading lips, but that only got him so far (only 30% of the English language is visible on the mouth!)

he had been a social kid, but he slowly withdrew into art. there, he could create anything he wanted. he often drew superheroes, or just ‘regular’ civilians (usually men). for a few years, harley took a sketch book and at least three graphic pencils everywhere he went.

in middle school, harley was eligible for a cochlear implant. his parents urged for him to get implanted, but decided to let him make the decision himself. he found a way to compromise with them; he agreed to get the surgery, but in exchange his parents agreed to pay for him and his brother to take ASL classes.

once activated, the implant was an immediate change. the world sounded different through it than what harley remembered, but he could understand his teachers and classmates better than he had in a very long time. he was able to join in again, and went from the kid scribbling in a notebook alone to being very outgoing. once he was able to use an ASL interpreter in classes, his confidence and grades shot up.

in high school, harley was very popular. it didn’t take long for his friends to give him a makeover, convincing him to throw out his baggy tshirts and most of his jeans, in favor of more feminine pieces. mini skirts, heels and crop tops (at least, when he could sneak them past his parents). he grew out his short hair to better hide his cochlear implants, smiling and nodding when he couldn’t keep up in conversations instead of drawing attention to his deafness. for the first time in his life he fit in, and he didn’t want to remind people that he was different.

(tw: dysphoria) but something was different, and it wasn’t his cochlear implants or the fact he was one of the only asian kids at his predominately white high school. something about the way he looked bothered him. he would often stare at himself in the mirror, and he knew the girl staring back at him in the mirror was pretty, but he couldn’t connect with ‘her’. she felt like a completely different person, almost like a mask he wore despite not understanding why he ‘needed’ to wear it or why he felt so numb to his own body.

the huas weren’t really hurting for money, but sending two teenagers to college only a year apart would be tough for any family. harley didn’t want to put that kind of stress on his parents, so he focused on cheerleading scholarships. he toured suffolk because it has one of the best cheer programs in the country. it was a dream school, but he doubted they’d want him on their team, let alone offer him enough money that he could afford to attend. yet that’s exactly what happened, so harley accepted and moved to boston.

during his freshman year of college, he realized nobody cared what he looked like in college. many of his classmates showed up to lectures in their pajamas. he started experimenting with his clothes, trading out the feminine pieces he’d been wearing for the past four years and wearing the things he wanted to; androgynous and masculine pieces. at first he wasn’t so sure why it made him happy, he just knew it did.

(tw: dysphoria) harley had never paid much attention to the trans community. he certainly never thought of himself as trans or genderqueer. sure, he often felt like an alien stuck in someone else’s body, but he assumed that was normal - something every girl secretly felt. after joining his college’s gsa and meeting trans people for the first time and hearing their stories, it began to click. harley came out towards the end of his freshman year of college, and started transitioning a few months later. his parents didn’t try to stop him, but it’s clear they don’t understand. a small part of harley is bothered by this, but he doesn’t let it get him down. it took a long time for them to accept he was deaf, too, but they eventually came around. they’re just slow to accept changes. between that and their refusal to learn ASL, harley isn’t on the best of terms with them, but he doesn’t stop to let this get to him.

overall harley is a very happy kid. he’s at his dream college, living his best life and preparing for the future he’s wanted since he was a kid

[ HEADCANONS ]

not wanting to take much money from his parents, harley works as a bartender three days a week at a popular bar near campus

if he’s not at work or in class, he’s either practicing cheer, working out at the student rec center, or at one of two coffee shops (one being the starbucks in his building, the other being an independent mom-and-pop cafe not far from campus)

he’s basically a jock villager from animal crossing. as stated before, he’s really into cheerleading. since getting his top surgery last summer he’s fallen in love with swimming. he also lifts weights and goes running a couple times a week with nadia.

harley is very busy, and his schedule is constantly fluctuating between working late nights and practices at any time of day. he’s pretty much always sleep deprived, and lives on an insane amount of coffee (he doesn’t like energy drinks).

harley’s preferred method of communication is asl. he uses interpreters in class and is involved with the deaf community in boston. but since most people on the squad only know a limited amount of sign, and other people he knows on campus don’t know the language at all, he often relies on the combination of his cochlear implant and lipreading to communicate. if he can’t hear with his cochlear implant (dead battery, too much background noise, etc) he won’t be able to understand enough by reading lips. but on the other hand, if he’s using his implant to communicate, watching the other person’s mouth helps him fill in the blanks.

[ WANTED CONNECTION ]

teammate // they do cheer together, so they spend a lot of time with each other

asl friends // harley prefers asl, so it would be great for him to have people to sign with!

regular customer // your character hangs out at the bar harley works at. conversely, they’re a bariste at one of the cafes harley is at multiple times a day

workout buddies // they lift weights together

rainbow family // in the queer community, they say you make your own family. harley doesn’t have a great relationship with his parents, and his brother is attending school on the west coast, so harley could use some lgbtq+ family in boston

comic book nerds // harley loves comic books. they were a major escape for him growing up and how he got into drawing in the first place. so maybe your character is also really into comic books, or they just share a passion for the mcu movies

[ FINAL NOTES ]

That’s all I got, but I’m open to almost anything with him. Looking forward to getting to explore him more here!

#suffolksintro #(intro.)

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mercifulbutbroken · 3 years

Note

For the ask game, based on your flags: 🗓,💜,💗,☀️,💙

Oh, five of em! Allllrightyyyyy- lets see...

🗓 - Schedule a self care day

... yeah- I should.... I'll have the weekend for it though!

💜 - Have you been to a pride parade?

... I've always wanted to... but... *gestures at parents* Probably when I'm fully in college I'll go to one, if there's one in town! I can finally wave my flags proudly without being looked at like I'm crazy in public.

💗 - How are you feeling right now?

Right now.... not so good as I hoped. stressful day isn't fun on the brain. gonna watch my friends play kingdom hearts tho!

💙 - Do you have any pride merch? (flags, clothes, bracelets, etc)

I do! I have my Asexual and Pansexual flag, and this one bracelet my old friend braided for me in my old high schools GSA ( Gay Student Alliance )

Really wish I had a few pins though... but ye!

#MercySpeaks #the-math-hatter #YE... PRIDE #Woe #Pride be upon yee

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swimmingnewsie · 4 years

Text

Of Coffee and Cookies- Chapter 17

Link to AO3

---

“Come on, slowpokes! We’re going to be late!”

Elsa couldn’t help but laugh as her little sister rushed ahead, running and tumbling through the streets. Though admittedly it still made Elsa nervous, parkour was an active part of Anna's life now- a part that made Anna happier than she had in months. The pure joy on Anna’s face as she swung around on dubiously strong light fixtures was worth the minor scrapes and bruises she helped fix up at the end of the day.

“Oh no you don’t!”

She shook her head as both Kristoff and Ryder ran ahead as well. They had gotten so competitive in the wake of Anna’s newfound strength, always wanting to race when given the opportunity. It left some sense of normalcy that had been gone for the longest while. But unlike her companions, she felt no reason to rush. Softball had nine innings after all; it was okay to take her time.The warm spring sun felt perfect on her face, a light breeze bringing her peace and clarity of mind.

As April turned to May, the weather wasn’t the only thing that was improving. After her night in the emergency room, things changed quickly for Elsa. Berkeley Behavioral Health had ordered a genetic test for her, one that tested the compatibility of antidepressants with her body. And after years of the wrong medication, Elsa finally had something that worked. Between that and exercise and the increased sessions with her therapist, the highs felt good again and the lows weren’t as scary. It was incredible what just a few small changes made.

She felt better than she had in years.

She could work again. Her responsibilities were still stressful; her students still emailed her at two in the morning over their exam results or advice for their papers; her dissertation was still a mess. But the mess was manageable now. Nights that might have otherwise been lost to crying and sleeplessness had turned into only an hour or two of distress. The chains on her mind had loosened, not broken, but there was space to breathe again. Space for fun. Space for life. And to her greatest joy, space for Honeymaren, who had been by her side the whole time, even when things were tiring or frustrating or upsetting.

Elsa could finally repay her for the previous months in gentle kisses and sweet love. She could be there for all the little moments they had missed before: rubbing soft circles in her back as she lamented the awful PTA meetings she was forced to attend; holding her as she told her about the awful phones calls she had to make that day; smiling as her love got excited over a lacrosse match. Or in this moment, getting to watch the middle school softball team she had heard so much about at night.

The sound of a ball clinking against a bat drew her attention from her thoughts. The faint sound of cheering followed, unconsciously quickening Elsa’s steps towards the small field.

The stands were relatively empty, not that Elsa truly expected much different. It was a sixth grade softball game in the middle of Thursday afternoon; parents were the target demographic. But even for the light crowd, the kids in the dugout certainly filled the field with energy and excitement.

Well at least the kids on the opposite team. Maren’s girls for the most part, bless their hearts, were terrified of the ball. And being a home game, it would take a while to get past the top of the inning.

“Come on, Janie! You can do it! Strike them out!” Maren cheered enthusiastically from the side. Elsa couldn’t help but blush; Maren looked good in her coaching uniform, highlighting more than her authoritative attitude. She couldn’t help but stare at her-

“Quit gawking at your girlfriend! There’s baseball happening here!” Anna shouted from above her.

Elsa laughed, racing up the bleachers to her sister. “You stinker!” she teased, tussling her sister’s hair. “I’ll get you back for that.”

Anna laughed in return. "I'm not the one eye-fucking my girlfriend at a children's sporting event."

"Anna, language!" she jabbed before any of the parents could do the same.

Anna rolled her eyes before looking at Kristoff and Ryder. "Am I wrong?"

Ryder shook his head laughing. "Sorry, sis. I'm asexual as they come and even I can tell that's what you were thinking."

"You've never been exactly subtle, Els," Kristoff chuckled, only causing Elsa to blush more heavily.

Elsa glared at him. It was good natured, but she would kill for the teasing to end."Hush up and watch the game."

"As you wish, your majesty."

---

"Eye on the ball doesn't mean it's gonna hit you! You can do it, Megs!" Ryder shouted from the stands.

Even he had to admit, this year's team wasn't the easiest to cheer for. The girls were quite timid and afraid, especially of the spherical object that ran the game. But, dutiful brother and occasional waterboy, he would cheer them on day in and day out. Even if they hadn't scored in four games.

"I'm sorry, Coach's Brother!" A dejected preteen shouted back after striking out.

"It's okay, kid! You'll get it next time!"

Ryder sat back down, resting between two bleachers. The innings were moving slowly, but at least they were moving. He looked to the field changing and then to his friends around him. Maren was high-fiving her students, making any attempt to bring their spirits up. Elsa on the other hand was still eyeing his sister, with Anna not so slyly taking embarrassing pictures. And then there was Kris.

Kris was engrossed in something, flustered by something on his phone. It was cute, the way that he bit his lip and scrunched his brow. "You know the baseball's up here," he teased, poking his ex-boyfriend on the shoulder.

“Sorry,” Kris sighed, putting his phone down. “Guess I’m a bit distracted is all.”

Ryder huffed, looking back at their friends. “Seems you aren’t the only one. But I think I’m better to help you than them, don’t you think?”

“Maybe.” He stretched his back, smiling at the satisfying crack. “Just looking at jobs, but I- I feel conflicted.”

“What over, find something better than baristaing?” Ryder teased lightly. “You’ve been applying for weeks, did you get a hit somewhere?”

“Sort of.” Kris ran a hand through his hair, his eyes looking around. “They’re offering me a promotion at Mermaid’s. They want me to be the assistant store manager. They want to train me to run the whole damn thing.”

Ryder couldn’t help but smile. The promotion would mean the world to Kris. He would be able to fix up his car properly and finally have a regular schedule and probably so many other things. “That’s amazing, dude! That’s so exciting! Why are you excited?”

“I- I don’t know,” he said, nervously picking at some grout in the bleacher. “I would have to take some more classes and certification. More food safety and even some management and marketing classes at the community college. But- I don’t know. Weeks ago I was so desperate to get out of there and now they’re offering this position and it feels almost like a betrayal to me? I don’t know it’s stupid,” he shrugged.

“It’s not stupid, man. It’s a big decision. And it’s not one you have to make right now.” He gave Kris a pat on the back, turning to get up. “You know what will make this better?”

“Yeah, and what’s that?” he asked, with that dumb little teasing sound to his voice.

“Nachos,” he said point blank. “I’ll be right back.”

He headed straight down to the small concession stand. He tried to be as fast as possible, but perhaps he was a little too fast when-

“Shit, not again! I’m so so sorry. Are you okay?” A young woman with bright multicolored hair ran into him, sending his food falling. “Oh no, I’m so sorry. Let me get you a new one? Please?”

“Um, I’m okay. Are you okay?” he asked, brushing the last of his chips off of his shirt, a bit baffled by what happened. “You don’t have to, it’s not a big deal.” If he was being perfectly honest, he wasn’t sure who had run into who.

“No, no please I insist,” she said, helping to brush off a few crumbs. “I’m Gale,”

“Ryder,” he said, starting back to the stand. He was finally able to get a good look at her- no them. He noticed a pronoun button, pinned proudly on a t-shirt for the middle school. “One of your kids go here? I’ve been around for a while, but I can’t say I recognize you.”

“My nephew,” they said before turning and ordering. “I think he has a crush on one of the girls on the team. He certainly has a sudden interest in baseball, that’s for sure. But who am I to object? I’ve always wanted to share it with him. Glad I finally can.”

Ryder smiled. “That’s sweet. Some of my favorite memories were of my dad taking me and my little sister out to play. Definitely something worth passing-”

“Gale!”

Anna was shouting up from the bleachers. How the hell did Anna know them?

“Hey! How’s my favorite barista?” they laughed as Anna started to come down. “I was just going to text you! What are you doing tomorrow night?”

“I get off at 10:30. Pre-closer, so hopefully I’ll be out on time. What’s up?” she said, dusting herself off. “Ryder, this is my friend Gale. I met them at my parkour class.”

Ryder nodded, grabbing the food that was set out. “So this is that Gale? Nice to finally meet you.”

Gale blushed. “Talking about me?” they teased. “Hopefully good things.”

“All good things,” Anna said rolling her eyes. “Like how badass you are, how you always manage to beat me in a race,all sorts of good things.”

They laughed. “Well I’m flattered. Well I was going to text you and ask if you would want to come out with me to Oaken’s tomorrow night? They’re doing a fundraiser for some high school’s GSA. Karaoke and drink profit goes to the school. What do you say?”

“How did a high school manage to run a fundraiser through a gay bar?” she asked with a small laugh. Ryder nodded; he was thinking the same thing.

“I think the owner’s kid goes there,” they shrugged. “Nevermind that, what do you think?”

Anna pondered it for a second. “What do you think, Ryder?”

HIs eyes widened. Was she trying to get them together? What was her goal here? “I mean it sounds like fun. You should go.”

“Think I would be fine bringing some others?” she asked.

Gale nodded enthusiastically. “More the merrier. It’s for a good cause.”

“Perfect! Ryder, you tell Kris and I’ll tell Elsa?” She pressed a quick kiss to his cheek before running off. “This’ll be fantastic.”

Ryder stood in shock for a second. “Um, sorry about that. Anna has a bit of a habit of-”

“Meddling?” they laughed. “I know. She kept trying to set me up on dates until I told her I was aroace.”

He didn’t think his eyes could get any wider. That’s why Anna was asking what he thought. “I- I’ve never- I’ve never,”

They tossed some of their hair back. “It’s okay. A lot of people don’t understand. Don’t worry.:

“No, no,” he said, putting a hand out as if to catch himself from stumbling over his words. “It’s just- I just realized it myself a couple of months ago. I haven’t met someone- not in real life at least- someone like me.”

Gale smiled. “Well Ryder, I will happily be your first triple-A friend: asexual, aromantic, agender.”

Ryder smiled back at them. “Thanks.”

“Come on, we’ve got some softball to watch.”

---

“Elsa, come on. You are not going to a gay bar in your professor clothes.”

Elsa tilted her head at Honeymaren. “What do you mean? I look good.”

“You look professional,” Maren said, wrapping her arms around her waist. She leaned her head into the crook of Elsa’s neck. “Besides, how am I going to dance with you if you wear that stiff shirt?”

Elsa laughed a little bit as Maren nibbled at her ear with a kiss. “You seem to be doing just fine right now.”

“Mmmmm,” she moaned softly. “Perhaps, but you’ll get hot so quick in that.”

“Oh, you’re worried about me being hot?” Elsa teased, reaching back to touch Maren’s hips. “Then what do you think I should wear, Oh Great Firemistress?”

“You are such a dork,” she said, sneaking one last kiss. Maren searched through her girlfriend’s closet, working past her usual work clothes. “What about this? I’ve never seen you wear it?”

“Never the occasion. A navy sundress isn’t exactly lab attire?”

“Hmmm, well good thing we aren’t going to the lab,” Maren smiled mischievously. “For me?”

“Well,” Elsa smiled, tapping on her chin. “Only if you help me take this off?” she teased.

“Oh, that I can absolutely do.”

---

Kristoff paced nervously in the living room. He hadn’t been out in a while, much less going out with his ex-boyfriend and their group of friends. But this would be fun right?

“How long does it take to get dressed to go out? Elsa is a stickler for time,” Anna sighed sitting down on the ground, her back against the couch.

“Well I don’t know if you noticed, but my sister is also in there with your sister. We could be waiting a while,” Ryder teased, handing her a controller. “Might as well play.”

“Uck-” Anna said, taking the offered controller. “Don’t make me think about the fact our sisters might be boning while we’re home.”

“Hey, I don’t like it either! Why do you think I put on Mario Kart?”

Kristoff smiled. Even after all this time, Ryder made his heart flutter. He shook his head and pushed it aside. He couldn’t act on it. It wasn’t right. “You know we could just go bug them to hurry up?”

“And risk burning my eyes out? Fat chance,” he laughed. “You want in next round, Kris?”

“Sure, I’ll play winner.”

Maybe going out wouldn’t be so bad. He could let loose of it all, be whoever he wanted for a night. It would be good. It had to be.

---

Anna didn’t know what to expect when they arrived, but it certainly wasn’t the dance club they arrived at. She hadn’t heard much about it other than seeing it on the news when it first opened, but Anna hadn’t been much for clubbing when she had first come to the city. It was everything the old Anna would have loved: loud music, a large dance floor, and plenty of people.

She fiddled nervously with the bands on her wrist. She had to admit, the club was pretty clever. There were a set of bands for the gender you identified as and a second set for what you were looking for. It had always been a passive thing, something she and Elsa had talked about, but she never brought it out in public. She had been too vulnerable after Hans to try and deal with it. But wearing the bisexual bracelet made it real, powerful. She could be her true self with no limits.

The music blared an old pop song she couldn’t but dance to. She smiled, letting herself move freely towards the bar where Kristoff was sitting alone. “What are you doing here by yourself?” she asked with a little more gusto than normal. “You’re at a dance club, and you aren’t dancing!”

“I don’t have that kinda rhythm,” he laughed, sipping on his whiskey. “Go, I’ll be out in a minute.”

“Now,” she laughed, a bit giddy. “Come on, the song is called “Shut Up and Dance” not “Sit Down and Drink.””

Kristoff shook his head, downing the last of his drink. “You’re drunk.”

“Maybe...” she slurred. Her mind did feel a bit foggy, but it was a good fog. A happy fog. A fog she wanted to share with Kristoff. “Come on, please?”

Much to her delight, he joined her in dancing. Neither were particularly good, but they didn’t have to be. She danced against him, her back to his chest and breathing in his scent. Normally the musk of sweat and alcohol would have turned her away, but she found herself wanting to draw closer.

“Having fun?” he asked as her movements slowed. Her limbs were tired, and she just wanted to hold onto his warm embrace.

“The best,” she said, breathless. “The best because you’re here and it’s fun and it’s really really nice.”

She felt his chest shudder, but decided to ignore it. “Best because I’m here?”

“Mhm,” she nodded. “I know you’re sad about Ryder still, but you came and are having fun.” Her eyes opened wildly, gaze unfocused. “You are having fun aren’t you? I’m sorry. I’m so awkward. I’ll shut up and-”

“No, no,” he gave a small laugh that made her whole chest feel like it was about ready to burst. “Just not what I thought you would say.”

Her body relaxed again against him. “I’m glad you’re having fun,” she said, her eyes getting tired.

“You wanna sit down for a bit? Have some water?” He was holding onto her hand, leading her off the floor. She nodded slowly, letting him lead her to a chair. “There we go. I’ll be right back.”

“Thanks, Kris. Love you.”

She didn’t watch as he walked away, didn’t notice or care how he reacted. She was happy and warm and a little drunk. Everything else could be taken care of in the morning. But for now, she would live in this one perfect moment.

#frozen #frohana #elsamaren #kristanna #frozen fanfic #my fic #adorable babies are adorable

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negasonicimagines · 5 years

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Do You Want To

requests: “Can I request one where reader is DP's daughter and their personalities are very similar. He recently said she has to start going to Xavier's because of her ability to create portals, but doesn't want to attend. Ellie is asked to be her guide and help her get situated. After seeing ellie she does some classic Wilson flirting. ‘Dad, I want her to sit on my face.’” + “Okay okay so Ellie imagine where reader Ellie and a bunch of other Xavier's students are at a party (reader and Ellie are not dating here) and have to play never have I ever and reader says that she's never gotten a hickey and then later Ellie catches up with her and asks if she wants her to give her one? And it leads to like a HEAVY makeout”

notes: F/B: Favorite Band. Jubilee appears as she does in the movies, and the others appear as they do in X-Men Evolution. Also, this fic makes some assumptions about you! If they don’t fit, okay, but please suspend your disbelief.I also did some experimenting with style, I’ve read a lot of @starman-thorsus-canos-jock‘s fics lately and I love the style so I tried to let it influence me!!

warnings: underage drinking, borderline smut but dubious consent considering you’re both the same level of drunk! Sober, clear consent is important, even if the characters in this story don’t have a negative experience.

Open house at Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters is always an interesting experience for Ellie. An increasing number of fresh faces every year, finding out what idiots (and tolerable people) she’ll be sharing classes with, and, the most unsettling of all: if she’ll be having a roommate.

But one face - or, rather, mask - that she notices isn’t fresh. It’s annoyingly rotten.

“What the fuck are you doing here, Deadpool? Perving on teenage girls, seriously?” She asks, gesturing to you. “I expected at least better than that.”

“Well, I’m no Ivanka, so I guess I’ll be heading back to my old schoo-”

Ellie gawks while he grabs the collar of your F/B tee shirt, pulling you back to your seat. You’re so… So...

“So, you… You have a daughter..?” Who looks like… Like she does?

“I didn’t always look like a moldy avocado, you know!” He protests. Your lip curls into what’s best described as a sweet smirk. “She makes portals and hates her mom’s new husband. I’m sure you two will get on real well.”

“Yeah,” you agree, eyeing the girl. “Y/N.”

“Ellie,” Ellie introduces herself, feeling her face heat up a little bit with the way you’re looking at her, unashamed of your interest. “Well, I’ve got to go get my schedule…”

“Go with her,” Wade tells you, and you fix him with a skeptical glare. “Please,” he adds. “Such a stickler for manners.”

“I don’t let men order me around,” you correct, and Ellie’s knees are weak.

“I’m very proud,” Wade half-jokes. “Go on, I’ll be here when you get back. I promise not to flirt with any of your teachers.”

“Thank you,” you respond with a bitter chuckle. The cheap shot at your mother that he probably didn’t mean much by was a nice touch. You follow Ellie to a slowly-shrinking crowd, and wait with her. You observe her, and she fidgets under your gaze. No one’s really showed this kind of interest in her before, especially so unabashed.

“Are you… Are you going to say anything, or are you just gonna keep staring at me?” She finally works up the nerve to ask.

“I told you my name, and that I don’t let men order me around. What more do you really need to know?”

Ellie never understood how your dad’s flirting ever worked on women when seeing it in practice on Piotr and Logan, but you seem to pull off the shameless, blunt interest like how she already wouldn’t mind you pulling off-

“Miss Phimister, good to see you’re already acquainted with your roommate this year. Miss Wilson, it’s a pleasure to see you again. Here are your schedules,” Charles Xavier himself says, handing you both your schedules. “You wouldn’t mind helping your new friend get settled in, would you, Eleanor?”

Ellie agrees to help you, and the two of you walk away. It’s not the awful flirting, Ellie realizes, but the hotness of the person saying the words: you.

“Roommates, huh? Whoever made out schedules must be a fucking psychic. A literal fucking psychic,” you flirt as the two of you walk away, and she can barely handle keeping a neutral expression, much less the scowl she normally wears. “Trying to be aloof will only make me want you more… In case you can’t tell, I have daddy issues. And mommy issues. I’m the full package, and willing to wear whatever kind of package you want.”

“Is that so?” Ellie tests the waters, and you blink at her for a few moments.

“Uh… Yeah,” you decide to answer, and she snickers.

“Not as smooth as you’d like to think, huh?”

“I’m just surprised you spoke, Negasonic Teenage Perks of Being a Wallflower,” you retort.

“Nice one, did your dad come up with it?”

“You’ve got bite! That’s good, now if you wouldn’t mind biting my neck..?”

“I-”

“Hey! Hey! New girl!” Ellie recognizes the sound of the boy a year younger than her zooming towards you both before she recognizes his voice. Pietro. “Party tonight, bring a friend, don’t, whatever, it’s in the woods, you’ll know it when you see it!”

He zooms off just as quickly, and you raise a brow.

“Is it actually a party, or his he just skeevy?” you ask.

“It is.”

“Hm, it would be a good idea to make some friends I don’t find irresistible,” you say it like it’s absentmindedly thinking out loud, tapping your lip, but she catches your eyes cutting up to her, looking for a reaction. “But… If I don’t know anyone, how fun would that be?”

“I’ll go with you,” Ellie’s mouth decides for her, but, thankfully, it doesn’t come out too quickly. “I know where it is, they have a huge bonfire in the clearing near the watering hole to celebrate everyone returning to school.”

“I see… Well, it does sound fun. Will there be alcohol?”

“Yeah, it su-”

“Oh, then we’re definitely going,” you decide, and Ellie both dreads and looks forward to later tonight.

After a short trek in the woods, Ellie and you find yourselves at the party.

“Ellie! Good to see you!” Bobby calls out, recognizing her from GSA. “You and the new girl should come over and play Never Have I Ever with us!”

“That sounds great!” you answer for her, heading over. Ellie follows you, because you’re the only reason she’s here, and the two of you sit on a log with Kitty, Anna, and Jubilee, with Bobby standing. At least they’re people she doesn’t hate.

He goes over the rules, and the six of you get started.

“Never have I ever… Kissed a girl,” Bobby says. You, Kitty, and Anna each take a shot, each lowering a finger. “Now you, Jubilee.”

“Never have I ever… Cheated on a test.”

Ellie takes a shot, cringing at the taste and lowering a finger. Based on the not-circle circle that you all are in, Kitty goes next, then Anna, then you, then Ellie, and so on.

“Never have I ever… Received a hickey,” Kitty says. Bobby is the only one to take a shot, and Ellie looks to you with surprise.

“Never have I ever… Fallen in love at first sight,” Anna discloses. You take a shot, winking at Ellie, who is either flushed due to alcohol - it’d honestly be adorable if she was a lightweight, you think - or what you basically just declared to everyone.

“Never have I ever… Tried to cut my own hair,” you decide, and everyone but you takes a shot and lowers a finger. You knew Ellie probably had, but the others surprised you.

“Never have I ever…” Ellie finds herself drawing out the r, having realized this is a good tool to get to know you without dropping her aloof facade. “Played strip poker.”

You and Anna each take a shot. So far, the score is as follows: Bobby - 9, Jubilee - 9, Kitty - 8, Anna - 7, You - 7, and Ellie - 8. You’re starting to feel the effects of the alcohol, though so far it’s really just a giggly lightness and slightly-lowered inhibitions, not that you had many of those in the first place. You can feel yourself on the way to becoming a little more drunk, though.

“Never have I ever,” Bobby begins the next round. “Been to a strip club.”

You take a shot, and your not-circle circle of maybe-friends gasps.

“Y/N’s dad’s wife works at one,” Ellie clarifies for you with a roll of the eyes.

“Why can’t you just let them think that I’m cool?” you whine, leaning on her just a little bit. She scoffs, pretending she doesn’t enjoy the attention from you.

“Never have I ever… Cursed in front of my academic adviser,” Jubilee says. Both Anna and Ellie take a shot.

“Never have I ever…” Kitty starts, and it’s clear she’s not sure what to say. She hums, looking over the group before her eyes land on you and Ellie. She delivers you an almost imperceptible wink. “Got in a fight with someone because I didn’t like them. Not self-defense or helping someone else or X-Men stuff, just straight-up not liking them.”

You and Ellie both drink to that.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say you people are trying to get me drunk,” you giggle, definitely feeling the effects of the alcohol after five out of your ten allotted shots.

“I’m there with you,” Anna replies, snickering as well. “Never have I ever-“ she giggles. “Had sex.”

No one takes a shot, all looking at each other - well, Ellie’s just looking at you, kind of but not entirely surprised - before you decide on your declaration.

“Never have I ever…” You giggle some more, a long one that you can’t stifle no matter how much your lungs beg. You look to Ellie for inspiration. “Shaved my head!”

Ellie and Bobby take their shots.

“Never have I ever… Been the first to lose in Never Have I Ever,” Ellie decides.

You and Anna drink, which makes sense, looking at your scores.

The score is now: Bobby - 7, Jubilee - 9, Kitty - 7, Anna - 5, You - 4, and Ellie has 5.

“Since the game is already starting to be long, maybe we should just go until Y/N loses and decide the winner based on that,” Jubilee suggests.

“Who says I’ll lose?” You pout.

“You have the least amount of points, Y/N,” Ellie says. She can take her alcohol pretty well, surprisingly enough to her, while you’re an adorable - No, wait, fuck, I didn’t mean that - giggling mess.

“I do? Is that hot to you or should I start lying?” You ask, and it’s the same blunt interest as before. Ellie chuckles, realizing that perhaps the reason you’re a laughing fool is because you’re already totally unreserved, whereas she has walls up constantly that the alcohol has to break down first. She smiles at you.

“What do you think?” Ellie asks you, and it comes out more sultry than she thought she could ever sound. You squeak, blushing even harder than whatever’s in these plastic shot glasses is making you.

“Bobby! Your turn!” You blurt.

“Never have I ever… Had a crush on the person to the right of me.”

You and Anna take shots.

“That’s me,” you quietly tell her, thinking she got mixed up.

“I know,” Anna whispers back with a smirk, and jealousy pools in Ellie’s chest. It wasn’t hard to make her jealous, and it didn’t help that her emotions were heightened.

“Never have I ever…” Jubilee begins. “Had a crush on the person to the left of me.”

You eye Anna before making the decision to take a shot. Ellie takes her shot quickly, a little embarrassed at being caught. The jealousy inside her boils, now.

“Hey, what happened to having a crush on me?” Ellie asks - sounding more defensive than anything - before she can stop herself.

“Oh, trust me, Hothead, I call you Hothead because you’re hot and you're angry. I told you: daddy issues, mommy issues.”

“This is the first time you’ve called me Hothead.”

“Out loud,” you correct her in a tone that’s best described as ditzy, and she scoffs.

“Never have I ever,” Kitty loudly starts, drawing everyone’s attention. “Done a striptease. Doesn’t have to mean you got naked, just that you took off your clothes for someone else’s benefit.”

You take a shot.

“Jesus, Y/N, you need to write a book,” Bobby says.

“And start giving me advice!” Jubilee, still in first place, exclaims.

“Never have I ever… Kissed someone at the top of a Ferris wheel,” Anna declares. Kitty and Bobby each take a shot.

“Never have I ever…” You giggle, remembering many of these people have roommates. “Masturbated with someone else in the same room.”

All of them take a shot, and you cackle drunkenly.

“Never have I ever…” Ellie has a cunning smirk, knowing exactly how to end the game. “Had my dad be Deadpool.”

“Oh, come on,” you whine, taking your last shot. “Oof.”

“Let’s see everyone’s fingers!” Bobby cheers. He has 5, Jubilee has 8, Kitty has 5, Anna has 3, You have none, and Ellie has 3.

“Go Jubilee!” You cheer, and the rest of the players echo it, as well as a few of your random partying classmates, scattered throughout the clearing.

You try to stand up, but stumble, knees giving out almost instantly. Ellie steadies you, also not the most structurally sound but slightly less physically encumbered by her drunkenness.

“I think that’s enough for us,” she suggests. “Wanna go back to our room?”

“Oh, hell yeah, I thought you’d never ask,” you flirt, and she snorts. “Wait, wait, I can portal us back to the school, just gotta visualize it. Okay, there’s that one.” You wrap her in a tight hug before the two of you fall through the ground, landing on the paved walkway.

Ellie hurls into the hydrangea bushes, making you feel a bit nauseous, but you only gag.

“Water,” you slur. “We need water.”

Ellie nods, and the two of you stumble in, giggling a little bit and trying to be quiet but definitely not being as quiet as you think you are.

You two enter the kitchen, and - to your surprise - your father is in there, with a shiny man you realize is his beloved Colossus.

“Dad, what’re you doing here?” You stumble over your words but straighten your posture, trying to seem not drunk off your ass.

“Same thing you’re doing, flirting with Mr. Rasputin,” Ellie explains for him, opening the fridge and getting out two water bottles.

“I’m not flirting with Mr. Rasputin, weirdo, I’m flirting with you,” you correct her before you loudly whisper to Wade, holding a hand up to the side of your face like that’ll disguise your words: “I want her to sit on my face.”

“Did not need to know that,” Wade tells you at the same volume, blinking - and reevaluating the example he was setting for you, like Piotr had been asking him to do before you came in - before sighing.

“I got the water…” Ellie weakly informs you.

“Yeah!” You enthusiastically respond, and the two of you leave Wade and Piotr to whatever their conversation was. You two slowly make your way up the stairs, clutching each other and the railings.

The trek is eventually over, and the two of you sip on your water, you leaning against one of the four posts of the bunk bed.

“I’m so hot,” you complain, taking off your shirt - arching off the post in a way that surely wouldn’t be that suggestive to Ellie’s sober mind but Drunk Ellie is ready to jump your bones - without really thinking about it.

“Yeah,” Ellie agrees, and you notice her blush at the sight of you.

“So, you’ve never kissed a girl… Do you want to?” You ask her.

“Of course I want to,” she scoffs, before realizing what you’re asking: Not if she wants to in general, but if she wants to kiss you. “Definitely. And you’ve never gotten a hickey, right? Do you want to?”

“Of course I want to,” you echo, taking one more drink of water before fumbling with the cap and putting it on the ground. You press your lips to Ellie’s, and her hands mold themselves to your bare waist before sliding up your back as the two of you kiss, lips moving in sync.

“Wow,” she breathes after pulling away, placing a hot, open-mouthed kiss on the space between your neck and shoulder, just above your collarbone.

“Ellie…” you sigh, nibbling at your own tongue to prevent too much of a reaction and clutching at her shoulders. She continues to suck at your neck, sinking her teeth in and delighting in the way you tremble.

This continues, and you fidget quite a bit, finding that you want more after this and hoping she feels the same way.

Ellie eventually pulls away, admiring her handiwork and sliding a thumb over the dark red mark before looking to you for approval.Your bra strap slips down, and she fixes it, rather tenderly for someone with limited coordination.

She gets more than approval just by looking at your face, and kisses you once more, tangling her fingers in your hair haphazardly. Your grip slips from her shoulders to her shoulder blades and you dig into her back.

“Fuck,” Ellie says against your lips.

“Not yet,” you retort, pulling away. She feels her face heat up, and notices that both of you seem to be a bit more sober after the water and the… Other things. “But we could get pretty damn cozy on whichever bunk you want.”

Ellie nods.

“Top or bottom?” you ask her.

“Top, I would’ve thought it was obvious,” she scoffs, and you go to climb.

“Oh,” Ellie realizes, so used to you being overt that she thought she was answering a different question before. “Bottom bunk. I top.”

“Oh,” you repeat, mouth drying. You remove your foot from the ladder, removing your shoes afterward and sliding onto the bed. Ellie straddles you before capturing your lips with her own, steadily gaining a certain confidence in her abilities - and her instincts - that allows her to roughly pin your wrists down without thinking too hard on it. She continues to kiss you, enjoying the way you writhe beneath her, muffling already-quiet moans, but eventually she decides to move on to giving you another hickey.

Ellie mouths at your neck and your chin tips up to give her more access. She can’t help but grin, licking a stripe up your neck and going up higher, but on your left side this time, suckling and tonguing at the sensitive flesh just under your jaw.

“Gonna be hard to cover up,” you observe with bated breath, and Ellie adores the way your body feels against her.

“Good,” she snarls, surprising even herself, and you whimper. She can feel you rubbing your thighs together underneath her, and she nips at the new hickey. You cry out in surprise, in pleasurable pain and Ellie snickers - of course she does, you knew she’d tear you apart like this the moment you laid your hungry eyes on her - before removing her hands from your reddened wrists, straightening her posture so that she’s practically sitting on top of your mound, and placing a hand on each breast and admiring the fabric of your bra.

You can hear your heart pounding in your ears and Ellie arches a brow at you, waiting for an answer to the unspoken question

“Mhm,” you hum, and she smiles, squeezing experimentally at first and only watching the way you squirm beneath her. You fidget in a twisty way, desperate for more touch, and she lets out a moan - surprising even herself - and sinks her teeth into her bottom lip. “Don’t,” you request shyly, and she doesn’t stop herself from making noises as she massages your breasts at a more consistent pace while you rock yourself up into her, letting her grind down on your mound.

“That’s- Fuck, that’s nice,” Ellie tells you. “But we should stop.” You immediately still.

“Since you said so, definitely, but why?” you ask the girl, who’s still on top of you.

“Because I really want to, with you, but I wanna do things right. We’re both tired, we’re both still buzzed...” Ellie explains, sounding much more exhausted after she lays next to you. “Wanna take you to a scary movie, because you’ll either love it or hold me. Kiss you quick on the cheek after, and then you’ll kiss me on the lips because outside of this room you’re more forward. Walk you home and sneak in past curfew using a portal, have a late dinner of junk food.”

“You sound like you’re in love with me,” you half-joke.

“I’m gonna be,” Ellie sleepily tells you, slinging an arm over you in one last act of bravery before the two of you fall asleep.

#Ellie Phimister #ellie phimister x reader #ellie phimister imagine #negasonic teenage warhead #negasonicteenageimagines #negasonic x reader #negasonic teenage warhead x reader #negasonic teenage warhead imagine #X-men #x-men fanfiction #x-men imagine #X-men x reader #marvel #marvel fanfiction #marvel imagine #dadpool x reader

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