#finally hyped myself up into actually posting these days later

[time-speculo]

Sorry for i am not immune to the rock lesbians

[juunrevez]

Bocchi and Kikuri Hiroi ❤️

[sepublic]

Anyhow, I want people to understand the significance of me crying over TOH ending because. I generally do not cry. It’s hard for me to cry, I feel sadness and grief sure! But tears themselves are difficult. And as much as I love media, it’s very rare and hard for it to make me genuinely cry. Other cartoons and shows I’ve gotten into haven’t done it, but...

The Owl House genuinely made me cry. After the grief of Agony of a Witch, the lonely despair of King’s Tide, and so many other painful moments. The Owl House finally made me sob, genuinely, wails I had to cover up, hot tears, sore eyes and a dripping nose. I heaved and made myself cry even more, because goddamn is there such a relief in the catharsis of feeling this pain, and knowing it means you’ve felt something, you’ve felt happiness to begin with.

So yeah. The Owl House has always been pretty special to me. But I think this expression of how I felt was low key what I was waiting for, working towards, after the finale. The absence hurts, but it makes me appreciate all the more the presence it entails for TOH in my life. For the community, for the experiences, the analyses, the genuine fun and laughter and speculation! The hype and friends I’ve made along the way, me building up my own skills as a reader thanks to this show!

I remember being enamored by The Owl House’s first announcement in February 2018, the first ever, possible public reveal of that show; You could’ve only known it beforehand if you worked at Disney and/or were one of Dana’s friends. Something about Luz, about Eda, about King... The very premise itself, the magic. Something about this show felt special to me, I had a really good feeling about it I couldn’t explain.

I ended up checking Dana’s Twitter obsessively for updates, was excited when she posted this one art of Luz and King having an ice cream run, while Eda was displeased with a little demon trying to get her dessert. I expected mostly casual things, but something about the vibes, the magic and wonder experienced through the lens of Luz... It got to me in a legitimately depressive state of my life.

Because I was depressed. Suicidal, even. It was perhaps the worst phase of my life ever, and I hope it’ll stay that way. The beginning of 2018 felt like me finally getting over the big hurdle, that enormous halfway point at the top, and how it was all relatively smooth, downhill sailing from here. So it feels fitting that it was the beginning of the easier part that TOH was announced for me. All I knew were Luz, Eda, and King; I eventually gave up checking Dana’s accounts for art, because I was SO excited and impatient for this show, inexplicably.

That’s probably why I missed Dana’s little sneak peek of Amity Blight, haha... But anyhow, TOH gave me something to look forward to. Something to live for. And when I finally got a shot of Eda throwing treats to Luz and King, the former taken aback by the eyeball, the latter having it bounce off his skull. It didn’t make it to the final cut obviously, but it was my first glimpse of how the show itself would look.

I was in despair when The Owl House was delayed to 2020; I had to wait another whole year for it! And going from 2018 to 2019 was painful enough as is! But man... Was it worth it. The first teaser, the mystery and wonder it promised. My Bionicle brain freaking out over the reveal of the Boiling Isles as a giant corpse. 

And then the theme song. Me learning Luz’s VA, scouring very obscure media to get an idea of how she might sound like. And finally I heard it, we got other announcements; Eda by Wendie Malick, who made perfect sense, and King by Alex Hirsch, cue those obnoxious Bill Cipher theories I still hate to this day! 

Some crew members announced cupcakes they made, complete with banners like “Drinkers Coven” and I got hyped for this little content. I wanted to try cashew meringues because of it, and later recognized the repurposed frames of Luz, Eda, and King in actual episodes. I saw some concept art and expressions removed from the show, and was glad to recognize them later, as I did a frame-in-process of Luz wondering about her magical destiny.

I checked Tumblr but it seemed like I was the only person actively anticipating, and not just including TOH as part of a larger collection of media posts. I wanted TOH for itself, someone was curious if it had owls, I scoured the first teaser for a screenshot to satisfy them! I wanted more people in on it! I saw some clips, figured out Luz’s ethnicity from her squealing “Ay que lindo!” in response to King.

I made a few ancient posts, my first TOH post was me admitting I was excited and wondering if anyone else was. It got NO traction, at least not until much, much later... But that didn’t stop me! I had a dream where Luz was revealed to be disabled, her legs were prosthetics and Eda ended up giving her new magic prosthetics styled after owl feet. This would prove weirdly prophetic... Less so, my dream about Luz being the Anti-Christ (this was framed as a good thing), hence why she found the isles.

I speculated Luz was an orphan who had nobody, hence why she found the isles; But then an article mentioned her mother Camila. I went with that spelling until some end credits confused me with a typo that gave us Camilia, which led to a big fandom debate later until Dana clarified.

I analyzed the trailers, trying to figure out the plot and trajectory, wasn’t quite right there. I was happy to see TOH would have full 22-minute episodes, allowing them to get nitty gritty and elaborated, instead of truncated into 11-minute segments. Boy did that pay off, and looking back I can appreciate what a rarity that was, an achievement. People pointed out the anagram for me... 

I speculated on the titles, confused bits from Covention with scenes from the first episode, wondered if Escape of the Palisman referred to the tower. And in the end, the first episode finally came out, after I was enjoying Infinity Train Book 2, and I was enamored. It was wonderful, it utterly blew me away and was all I wanted and more. I had to get more! The moment Luz spoke of liking editing anime clips into AMVs and all that other stuff, I felt seen, and that was just the beginning.

I spoke my praises, but alas there was no fandom. The next week, I was surprised to find posts for the next episodes so early, and learned the episode was released ahead of time on DisneyNOW, so I immediately subscribed. I was excited to meet Amity Blight, Willow and Gus; And I was caught by surprise by how openly mean Amity was when she debuted! But I analyzed the sub-text of her actions and dialogue, and was vindicated. 

Amity was such a fun and interesting character because she really felt like a puzzle that we unlocked more and more pieces of, to better understand her. And I really got the sense of TOH’s re-contextualization and surprising character continuity, such as when King’s B-plot in one episode actually became the focus of the very next! You could tell the writers really cared about making a deeper story for kids and teenagers. 

One nice memory was when I wrote a post appreciating Willow and Luz’s friendship, the idea of Willuz as a ship; I took a shower and went back to check afterwards, and got notes! I analyzed the mechanics of glyphs deeply when they were first revealed, getting nitty-gritty; I remember the events of a few nights and what happened around me writing a post, comparing glyph magic to artificial replication of dragon breath!

I looked for crew art, which alerted me ahead of time to the existence of Emira and Edric, thought I didn’t know their names, and was delighted to learn Amity had older siblings!!! They were hers! Shoutout to @anistarrose who was one of the few people in the tag at this time. I really appreciate that post where you called out people constantly trying to make King into Bill Cipher in a serious manner, and the annoying implications of it. And how you realized a tweet poem by Dana foreshadowed Warden Wrath and the Emperor’s Coven... AND THE CODES TOO!!!

I distinctly remember this one meme video in the tags, a song singing “This girl is a lesbian” as Amity showed up as the punchline. I thought it was cute and loved the idea, I had no clue...! I even tried to analyze the dates on her diary entries because I was so obsessed with the show and wanted more, trying to see if I could figure out a calendar...

Spoiler alert, I didn’t. but it was FUN trying! Putting in all of this unnecessary effort for a detail nobody cared much for, because you could tell the crew were people who did the same, Dana even confirmed it later for herself! I remember being shocked about Eda having a curse, that one theory it was a Blight who did it. I suggested King being the Boiling Isles Titan, some Youtube channel even asked permission to use my post in discussing that theory! I was skeptical but checked and it was legit, and was pleased.

I went through that godforsaken Witch’s Apprentice game, realized too late the artifacts represented each episode and gave hints to the rest of 1A. I watched Look Hoo’s Talking, with Owlyvia and Horus, shout out to those who remember! I was amazed by Eda’s self-awareness in deciding things for Luz, especially after Luz briefly called it out in Covention. I found myself so ATTACHED to the characters, which makes sense since I hyped myself from the start!

I remember being surprised to see King wasn’t an overlord... Or was he? The original 2018 announcement suggested as such, but the way the show played around even after the premiere seemingly disproved it was fun. I speculated on what Luz’s magic track would be, enjoyed fanart of her in Potions as Eda was. Seeing Young Eda was a blast, and I remember being so distraught at the idea of her being cursed! I made a post wailing about it and Cat-Harman Mitchell commented LOL as I ranted about taking vengeance on the curser. Little did I know...!

I was afraid of a cliffhanger with Season 1A, but nope! Eda made it out despite the demon hunters! With a hiatus, I was left impatient and needing more. I scoured crew art, speculated on what Emperor Bellows would be like; Covention’s subtitles mispelled him as such, and Dana had to clarify in a tweet when 1B’s trailer released! I got into deep discussion with @fermented-writers-block about the show, about the mysterious owl mural.

I guess TOH was my first start at really analyzing a show from the start, especially since nobody else was around to do it for me. And coming fresh from reading the meta of those who did inspire me, I went HARD, reasoning that even if it was disproven, the process was fun! I analyzed snake motifs, the mysterious green hand that stole King’s crown. I made a whole diagram about parallels between Luz, between King and the Gildersnake, between ‘human counterparts’ to Amity and Willow and Gus. This definitely fed the revelation of Creepy Luz later on...

But yeah. To think the snakes did pay off with Luz’s palisman Stringbean; Back then people speculated as such with the title’s design, and I’m so happy to see it came through! I speculated on lore, wrote my first TOH fics, The Bile Coven and Amity’s Diary Entries, the latter of which I feel particular pride for since it was a character study of her that proved rather on the spot!

I was obsessed with the worldbuilding, came up with my own ideas. Imagined what Bellows and Kikimora were like. I waited IMPATIENTLY, and even had a dream where Eda was captured by Lilith, Kikimora, and Wrath, as well as some covenscouts... But then it was revealed her curse was a result of possession by the creature depicted on the mural; And it progressed to the next stage of converting her body to its own as she got more feral and escaped on her own!

The airship used by the Emperor’s Coven proved prophetic. And after 1B seemingly disproved this idea, 2A brought it back after all and I was delighted! TOH was and is a show that keeps giving for me, makes me feel rewarded for engaging with it, and is grateful even when I’m wrong, as Any Sport in a Storm’s B-plot attests. I made jokes about King being Mata Nui because I was a Bionicle fan. Someone saw a Grom poster in the background of a shot and suggested Lumity, but I didn’t get my hopes up... Hah.

There was a trailer that alluded to an episode of Luz and Eda in a snowy place; I knew of an article on TOH that mentioned a ‘Witch’s Arena’ at the Knee and guessed this was it. I liked the song that played because I associated it with TOH, found out for myself.

Rebecca Rose, shout out to one of the OGs talking about the show on Youtube! She made a wonderful video discussing Amity’s development and potential, speculating on her, and I felt SOOOO vindicated and followed her for it! As you know, she became THE fan channel for TOH, and was eventually ascended to a full-on crew member for it. We’d all watch her reactions and discussions afterwards.

Adventures in the Elements leaked, I correctly guessed it wasn’t the next episode but the one after it. I was delighted to see the twins be good siblings, and Amity’s casual outfit... Before that, I read a fic during the hiatus of Lilith adopting Amity from abuse (Remember when we thought she was that functional?), and it understandably depicted the twins as mean-spirited and basically apathetic. It was a good fic.

I remember joke-speculating that Bellows would be short, because I was projecting analyses of the Pale King from Hollow Knight onto him! I considered making an animatic of Farquaad’s reveal from Shrek but with Bellows, but alas I’d never actually done an animatic and had zero clue lol. I had another dream about Bellows coming in with the Emperor’s Coven to apprehend Eda, who became an even larger version of her Owl Beast form in response.

Then Summer 2020 came around. What a wonderful time of my life... New fans came in when they saw the possibility of canon sapphics with Lumity, and I was exhilarated! So careful not to get my hopes up, but look now... I was hyped to see Belos’ appearance. I analyzed the 1B trailer, took screenshots and organized them to guess which episodes they were. Rebecca Rose found foreign titles of 1B and translated them, and I did note how translations could skew the intended anagram. I remember “Mini-Problems” being an episode title...

You can probably guess the rest from here, since this was about when the fandom really kicked off. And boy did people stick around for it all. I felt delight in knowing Grom was sooner, due to Understanding Willow being paired with Really Small Problems on the same day! Two episodes at once, instead of the original plan for the last two episodes of the season together! I ended up regretting that low-key with the angst and pain of Agony of a Witch, which made me realize how much I cared for Luz, Eda, and King, and made me the closest to crying from the show.

I felt vindicated to see a popular artist like MoringMark begin making fan comics, I had no idea that’d be THE thing he’d be known for, after I knew him as the Gravity Falls guy. I followed Matthieu Cousin on Tumblr, got excited for that trend of dressing up TOH characters for Grom and sending in your designs, with a winner announced! I don’t think that ever happened. Anamanaguchi’s Prom Night became a thing thanks to a crew member, and who can forget Little Miss Perfect? Kwame rolled with the success and I was glad for him. Eda’s gray eye appearing after the season finale in the end credits shocked me.

There was the Reddit AMA, where I prepared lore questions afterwards and had none of mine answered, but we learned a good deal! Especially the telling “Clawthornes are a bird motif” from Dana, her being put into a headlock by a nun. Amity and Lilith weren’t close but as I mentioned a while back, Dana expressed that she also made connections with cartoons as a kid. Odalia liking her kids color-coded, hence Amity’s hair, and Alador being interesting. Which led to a bunch of fanart that proved off the mark but also not? Alador wasn’t THAT well-put but otherwise...

And that stream! That wonderful stream! I contemplated spending so much money via donation to get something. Eda drinking Apple Blood, Spencer Wan almost spoiling Lilith having a Raven form. Our first sneak peek at Hunter’s face, not counting his appearance as the Golden Guard in S1; We all guessed he and the Golden Guard, or “Owl Mask” were the same. I was stumped and baffled how he fit into Belos’ dynamic... Hoo boy. And we all thought Hunter was an adult, even Alador at first, because of those eye bags!

I wanted to see the coven heads, based on their banners we saw; I liked the Potion Head especially and even when his design proved different than I expected, it was still my favorite! I thought Darius might be a Blight grandfather and he DID have a connection... I had a dream of the twins working for Osran at a library and messing with him, recognized Mason from Covention, and dreamed Terra was named Botanica.

Christmas art of the cast came out, I was happy to see Emira and Edric happy there, after being saddened by Dana’s Grom art of them and even writing a whole fic about it, which I’m chuffed about! She also drew Mattholomule... I recall in the wait for Season 1B, she did some art of the characters. Gus playing games, Mattholomule losing to him; King despairing over stubby thumbs.

Fanart of the kids in quarantine, Amity declaring it’d be easy to stay away from Luz, to Luz’s sadness; Boscha being mad because she couldn’t talk to her friends. Remember when Boschlow was a big thing, until Understanding Willow killed off some of the hype? And confirmation that Willow worked out, which we saw come to fruition in Season 2; People were surprised but I wasn’t! And of course, Frewin being his own entity from Bump, and not Bump himself.

But back to chronology, I guess this is where I should end off. Sorry, this ended up being MUCH longer than I intended, and really you could write a book about my experience with TOH and the journey on a meta level. But those were interesting times, those beginning eras. Back when I didn’t feel the need to always add screenshots to posts unless necessary. And it’s making me nostalgic. It’s making me appreciate everything we’ve been through, the roots of my hyperfixation. And how it all led to me finally crying, because I really did build up THAT much of a love for the show.

I found my first fandom I really felt a part of, found so many people who enjoyed my meta and validated me for it! I feel I’ve grown so much as a person because of TOH. And as I nostalgically reminisce on how different the show was then, I appreciate all the more how far we’ve come, and what it is now. Snapping back to the present does make me sad over how much has passed and changed, but I also appreciate it while remembering the ideas I once had.

I’ll miss that era, and TOH as a whole. And boy do I associate that classic ending theme, how I loved the melancholy of those end credits, speculated on them paying off in the finale. And they did...! It feels good to hear it one last time after a year without it, due to the end credits being removed or redone. There was something so idyllic and dreamlike about that original sequence, capturing the feeling of coming home, and I’m glad TOH did that once more with it.

[lowkeycasanova]

Down bad

*This played out better in my head*

------------------------------------------------------------

It started with him sending you the picture of the frog holding a cheez-it in your instagram dms.

He was trying to get your attention. Didn't work, but he expected that. Over the next weeks that would come, he would message you more. You didn't see those either.

vinniehacker: won't budge huh? fine

He had even taken a screenshot of the messages he sent and posted them on his story because he thought it was funny.

**

After that, he said in a stream, "I would let Y/N Y/L/N have my children." That comment alone resulted in fans making edits of the two of you.

Next, Jett caught him staking your tik tok profile. He noticed it when he realized the same song was playing on repeat and Vinnie had a grin that he was trying so hard so to show.

Then, Jett and Eamon had got on twitter to try to get your attention on Vinnie's behalf to help him out. They were really just joking but they'd be lying if they said they hadn't hope that you'd see the mentions.

Finally, the most recent thing occurred on tik tok. He was doing the trend to this sound. The video starts with a selfie that he took with the text on top saying, "I wonder if pretty eyes would suit me."

Then it goes to a montage of photos of you, with the text then changing to, "I hope they do."

**

You got so many notifications throughout the day, so you normally didn't keep up with them unless they were from friends and family. Until today. You were laying in bed, about to get up to get ready for work when you opened tik tok. People were relentless in tagging you in some video, so you clicked on it to see what the hype was all about.

It was Vinnie's video that he posted. Your eyes widened to see that he used your pictures to do this trend. After the video was on repeat four times, a soft smile appeared on your face as you clicked "duet".

It was simple, really. You looked into the camera, interested to see what was going to happen, then your eyes widened at the sight of your own pictures. Trying to recreate your expression that you just had in real life a few moments before.

All you put for the caption was his username and posted it.

Within a half hour, it already garnered so much attention. Some of the comments were:

The duo we never knew we needed

I can't handle this

no way y/n saw this

Since when do they know each other?

someone check on vinnie, make sure he's okay

Later that day was when he saw it. He put a hand over his mouth as he gasped. You duetting his video proved that you were aware that he existed and that was enough for him, honestly. It's funny how the tik tok algorithm works. He couldn't get over the fact that when you smiled in the video, it was because of him.

He was such a fan boy.

But it didn't stop there. The high he felt increased as he saw a notification from you in his messages.

yourtiktok: hey! how are you? I just wanted to say that I thought your video was so sweet and I appreciate it.

He couldn't move.

He clicked on the username to make sure that it was in fact you and not a bot. It was real alright.

Vinnie was actually getting ready to stream when all of this was happening but now that was just gonna have to wait. He even tried to seem nonchalant in his message back.

vhackerr: oh hey, im doing well. And im glad that you liked it haha

yourtiktok: I've actually have known about you for a while now. you seem pretty dope

vhackerr: i bet i've known who you are for longer but it aint a competition

yourtiktok: i see

He proceeded to send you a meme in response but once he sent it, he instantly regretted it because maybe you wouldn't understand his humor and think he was weird.

And when you didn't respond fast like you had been doing, he felt like he messed up.

vhackerr: nvm i retract that

vhackerr: if u see dis

yourtiktok: why? it was funny

He let out the breath he didn't realize he was holding.

vhackerr: ig i enjoy embarrassing myself

yourtiktok: you and me both

yourtiktok: oh and hey, you in LA rn?

vhackerr: ye

yourtiktok: same here, maybe we can hang out before I leave for chicago in a week and a half

vhackerr: im down, but i be in the house most of the time. but did i go outside today? yes

yourtiktok: i love a good homebody tbh

vhackerr: well then, lemme check my schedule and i'll lyk

yourtiktok: deal

Vinnie knew that people would get a kick out of knowing that you and him were talking. He was about to take a screenshot of the convo but decided against it because he respected your privacy too much to just throw away these personal dms to social media.

He'd been waiting for something like this ever since he became a fan of yours. And he wasn't about to risk letting it crumble for nobody.

[thewertsearch]

Ask Comp 28/6

It's in the recs list! I'm very much looking forward to this one.

I've certainly enjoyed what I've read so far - it's been nice to get back to the story's original protagonists.

The main mood of Act 5.2 is one of anticipation. We've been getting glimpses of the kids' Grand Plan ever since the Act began, and it very much feels like it's all building up to something. If Homestuck sticks the landing, and the Act 5 finale lives up to all this hype, then this might end up my favorite part of the story so far.

Yeah it's a session tag - although a 'reading session' is a little ambiguously defined, especially when I stop posting for a few hours and return later in the day. How long a gap does it need to be before it qualifies as a new reading session?

I've just been tagging every post made in the same day as the same session. It's not a perfect solution, but it'll do.

Wow, it started in 2010? I could conceivably have been reading Paranatural in school - although I'm glad I came to it a little later, so I wasn't constantly waiting for updates.

Big red peepers. I'll admit I didn't really think of this as a reveal, but I suppose it is our first true peek behind Dave's shades.

Based on this, it's it's probably safe to assume that all the kids have eyes matching their text colors. Has Rose been blessed with the legendary mutation, Alexandria's Genesis?

A few people mentioned this Squiddles meme. I like it, it's very Trunk & The Grunks.

I've really gotta catch up on those albums at some point...

I did wonder if Bro's sword shenanigans were something to do with Dave's Quest - like, maybe he was bequeathing his anime sword to his brother, to accomplish some objective. Now that Dave has his own Quest sword, I think that interpretation is less likely.

Symbolically though, I do think it's notable that Bro's sword is intact, and Dave's is broken. It ties into how Dave sees himself as a worse version of Bro, on some level.

As far as Jack is concerned, I doubt the game intends for him to have anything to do with Dave's journey. The whole point is that he's ignoring the game's rules - so if anything, his antics might start to break the Quests.

It sounds like the style was supposed to take readers aback - although I didn't find it particularly jarring myself!

Homestuck's art style is constantly changing, with this, the Earthbound sprites, and Hero Mode, among other things. Honestly, I had just assumed that the comic's art just fluctuated depending on Hussie's mood.

I quite like the HussNasty panels, and I hope Hussie keeps experimenting with the comic's art. It sounds like this is the beginning of a more general trend, so I'm hopeful that it will continue.

Oh, so it just straight up is Excalibur.

New theory about his Quest, then. It's about worthiness, and Dave is being tasked to 'prove himself' as a hero, despite his insecurities. This ties neatly into the next set of asks below:

Anonymous asked: my headcanon (partially supported by the text, as you've seen from rose's conversation with jaspers) is that each quest is designed to help you self-improve, so that you can responsibly preside over an entire universe. whether you agree with the game about the ways you need to improve is another story.

I've speculated that the Quests are teaching the Players how to sculpt their universe. Building on from this idea, then, these asks speculate that Quests are also trying to improve the Players as people, so that the nascent universe will flourish under their care.

It's an interesting idea - although it does beg the question of why Sburb is creating such flawed Players in the first place. If it's looking for self-actualized custodians for its universe, why did it create Players like the trolls, who wanted to rule over their universe like tyrants?

I guess it's possible that a flawed Player who self-improves is actually more resilient than a flawless Player who never needed to change. The former would potentially be more resilient, capable of adapting to the changing circumstances of their universe as it grows and evolves.

I wish! That's more of an aspirational schedule, really. I should probably delink it, if it's causing confusion.

I'm not sure whether this is Karkat's canonical birthday - but if it is, I like the irony inherent in the fact that he's not even a Cancer.

Yes - although I don't blame you for forgetting, since I don't think I've referenced it since the literal first post of the liveblog!

Oh, god, messages from 2024? Is Tumblr using Trollian as a backend?

Bizarre. I assume, then, that the trickster code was cut as well. :(

If we assume that Sburb did evolve, then it makes sense that it works this way. However, if it was created by some intelligent being, then holding the Players hostage like this seems pretty malicious.

I mean, there are ways to ensure participation in the game that don't involve destroying an entire planet. No matter how clear you were about the risks, if you asked the population of Earth for volunteers, you'd be guaranteed millions of responses.

All that said, if Sburb worked this way, we'd have a very different story. I understand why Sburb works the way it does, in the context of Homestuck's themes.

Speaking of Kingdom Hearts, I'd kind of love for Sora to visit a Homestuck world. His Keyblade upgrade could be the Wrinklefucker - and he'd have to unlock Vriska as a summon, right?

Do it. I've been rereading GtN this week, and as far as I'm concerned, Alecto can't come fast enough.

It is she. The million dollar question, of course, is whether Taylor is ultimately more of a constructive or destructive character.

I mean, I have an opinion, but resurrecting The Great Taylor Hebert Debate on this blog would be an exercise in hubris.

@wickedsick asked: The typically accepted name for Girl Egbert is June, after that one time Vriska spelt John with 64 O's and Egbert said they read it as a really long "June". [...]

Oh man, imagine being trolled by Vriska was your trans awakening. How would you ever recover?

Jokes aside, I like June, It's cute. I feel like if John transitioned she'd choose another 4 letter J-name like that, or a name from one of her movies, like Dana or Janine.

Come on - I'd be shocked if Homestuck didn't end with the straight characters getting outnumbered at least twenty-to-one.

Looks fine to me, I think. I assume the website just hiccupped - wouldn't be the first time!

It blows my mind every time I remember that Undertale came out in 2015. The beginning of the Undertale Era feels like it started simultaneously six months ago, and twenty years ago.

You open the TYPHEUS web browser and direct it to what is indisputably the most amazing website ever created.

Au contraire, my friend - Typheus showed up way back in Act 1!

[ I can't send them yet because they'd tell you a lot about the aspects, but someone sent classpect headcanons for discworld characters and they're SO GOOD - C ]

Damn it, I can't wait. Just based on what I've recently learned, I am convinced Rincewind would be the Something of Light.

[brightnote]

Secret Invasion theories & coming back down to reality (re: Maria Hill)  -- spoilers!

BUT before I get into some self grounding on my Maria revival theory, here’s a little more Maria Hill hair appreciation. 

I love the chaotic look of her hair in this scene, her hair really says  “she was working in Russia all day as her cool secret agent self chasing bad guys or whatever and then she’s finally driving to her secret safe house to go home and take a shower and then freaking Ross calls. Surprise, some how he is also in Russia and that’s not weird and is totally normal and makes sense and he has Maria on speed dial for reasons we don’t know why.  But here she comes to rescue some man AGAIN before her day can be over, but then that man dies on the ground in front of her and turns into an alien. Surprise! And then another alien friend is around and they just leave together and leave skrull Ross’s dead body on the ground exposed as an alien in Russia... and they never tell anyone about this except probably Fury (not confirmed) and it never comes up again and then she can’t even go take a shower because now she has to go pick up Fury from space.” That’s definitely what this hair says, and major props to the hair department because they nailed that look to complete perfection! 

Anyways, as the finale looms I am afraid I may have hyped myself up (and potentially hyped up others) too much on the outcome of the show. I still think my Maria + Fury made a huge play would be the BEST AND MOST FUN outcome of the whole series and since there have been zero freaking twists I think it’s necessary now but I don’t want to give anyone false hope or make the Maria stans sad all over again. Also, Marvel has been so afraid to slay in this series or take any risks or do anything new. I just don’t get it. It could have been so good!!! 

So just to remain grounded after my spiraling out last week over why Maria is probably still alive--which some other outlets think so too FINALLY (!!) but here’s the evidence that Maria Hill is dead for real and not coming back:

She died on screen and she was very very dead and she died in a very sad horrible emotional way that should devastate any human being (except not Fury apparently?) and they cast her mom to guilt trip Fury. And then they keep showing that death over and over and over again. And killing off a woman for a man’s storyline is a classic trope that for some reason Marvel thinks is risky? (TBH I think the killed off Maria because they didn’t want to pay Cobie her money in any future projects and get someone younger + cheaper) 

Cobie did a bunch of interviews saying “She thinks this is it” “it looks real, it felt real, it felt different” and “it was a sad day” and she was “sad to never get to develop Maria further” and that Maria was really dead. I think doing this interview was a bummer because it could have left the mystery open for the rest of the series but my guess is Marvel said go do this interview which is annoying because there actually is a great set up for Maria to come back into the show at the end. 

Cobie posted a good bye to Maria on IG after episode 2 which was later deleted. 

Cobie “knows nothing about [being in the Marvels]” which was at least in part filmed around the same time as SI was filming! Around 2021 but some of the SI was filming in 2022 for sure! If some of the Marvels is before SI I am not sure why it would be a secret that Cobie was in it? But who knows, the NDAs are wild but also I don’t know if Cobie would do a whole “i think this is it” interview set if she was for sure coming back.

Cobie got paid 4 million for her 1 episode (and many outstanding Guest Star appearances where she died over and over from different angles for 2 seconds, give this woman an Emmy!) I think if it was her last Marvel gig and she knew she wasn’t coming back she’d probably ask for a solid pay day which she seems like she got. Don Cheadle got 2 million for the whole show and Emilia Clarke only got 750k for the entire series and this was all behind Sam’s 20 million!! 

Also Cobie said she had scenes at the same time as Don. I keep linking to this clip because it gives me hope we will have more Maria content in the show at least in some way THAT BETTER NOT BE A DEAD BODY. But I guess to totally destroy my last inch of hope it’s possible they were just on set at the same time even if they didn’t have scenes at the same time and that’s why they hung out? ALTHOUGH counter point she did say “i had a lot of scenes at the same time as Don” not “we were on set together at the same time.”  

[recurring-polynya]

Writing/Art Update 10.31.2023

Sorry this is a little late, I was trying to get something done yesterday and then I got overtaken by Halloween Festivities and didn't get a chance to post it, but this update is as of 10/31.

This week was pretty slow to get going--as per last week's update, I really didn't know how to get started with Chapter 3. I had to sort of think about it for a few days, during which time no writing-writing took place, but I did eventually get it figured out, and now I have a pretty solid outline for Chapters 3 and 4. I was able to get about halfway through Chapter 3, which involved writing one new flashback (which I had a false start on, but the second try came out good) and reworking two present-time scenes, one which needed a lot of work, and one which needed just a little (mostly deletions).

This week's wordcount: 23,299 (+5,439), with about 2,387 of new content.

I am very close to having more in my "clean, contiguous" version than in my "old pile of crap" version (24,245), and that ought to happen this week. My goal for this week is to finish Chapter 3, which two flashbacks (one of which is half-written) and one new real-time scene.

I've been having really mixed feelings on my progress. On one hand, half a chapter per week is proving to be pretty doable, and I'm able to see real progress every week, and it's giving me a nice amount of "I wrote!" satisfaction. On the other hand, if, as I projected last week, this story goes to 10 chapters, that means it will take me 15 weeks, which feels like forever. On the other hand, that will mean it took me almost exactly two years to write, all-told (including time I wasn't actually working on it). Maybe I should just be grateful if I can actually get it done in 15 weeks.

I made a joke about it being November and trying to hype myself up to NaNoWriMo-style push my way through this thing, but that's actually a really bad idea. I still think about that "writing is just behavior" post every single day of my life. You only get to write each story once, and I think it's important to take my time and enjoy the story I'm in, right now. Also, we're getting into the busiest and most miserable time of year for me right now, and I think it's extremely important to keep writing as a treat I get to do, not an arbitrary word count obligation that I made up to torture myself with.

On a final note, I'm in one of those weird brain-places that I get sometimes where I really have not looked back over any of the stuff I've finished. My usual writing state is to enjoy re-reading the stuff that I've read, but right now, it's all "Don't look back! Forward only!" I do think this is good, because I know this will pass eventually and there will certainly be time to edit, later, but I am also really worried that everything I have written is going to be absolutely horrible when I go back to it later. (In general, I'm usually pleasantly surprised to find writing I haven't looked at in a while to be better than I remembered, but it's not guaranteed, you know?)

(no art this week)

[badedramay]

You're probably sick of Fairytale asks so feel free to ignore this, but rest assured I don't bear any ill will! I shared a very similar frustration with Umeed (and the sheer unreality of her circumstances) when I started watching the show. But eventually, I did come to enjoy how one of the main focal points of her growing relationship with Farjaad was for her to learn the consequences of her immature, haphazard actions and to be more patient and grateful for what she actually has. Obviously, you don't have to pick it up again if you really don't want to, but if you happen to continue, you may come to enjoy that aspect. I certainly don't believe Fairytale is the most unique story, but it is sweet to see how much Farjaad cares about helping her understand she should pave a path for herself on solid ground and take more time to consider the consequences of her actions. To me that is what really ended up enrapturing people. There are a lot of drawbacks to the story (e.g., few of the side characters are well developed, some of the plot stretching to meet the full thirty days of Ramadan gets exasperating, and whenever the focus moves away from the leads the show is horrifically boring), but I have a feeling you would at least enjoy what Farjaad and Umeed's relationship becomes eventually in the latter half of the show. It reminds me a little of the affectionate scold-teasing from Wali and responsive cluelessness from Faarah (although obviously Diyar-e-Dil has a way, way more well developed story). Hamza and Sehar get really good at dealing in the wholesome friends to lovers banter.

Anyway! I hope this ask doesn't bother you, and I'm sorry other people feel so entitled to judging you for having an opinion. I wanted to maybe be the one person sensible enough to extend an olive branch, lol. The fandom for the show is arguably over-the-top and exaggerative, but I have a feeling you may not hate the show as much if you see it through. And if you still do hate it, no hard feelings. Thanks for always posting great commentary on here, and have a nice day!

lol i am not tired of the FT asks (itne zyada mile bhi nahin tbh)..i am just super convinced that no matter what anyone says it will never push me to watch this show xD the comparisons to DeD will only strengthen my resolve to never give this a try. of all the shows in the world to draw comparison with, doing so with Wali and Faraa of all the people who were both individually so complex as characters is just...c'mon, you can see how ridiculous it is right? anyhoo..I guess the bottom line is just this: i am too old to enjoy a narrative as lacking as what Fairytale is. I don't want to resort to projecting my fantasies and inserting headcanons in a story to make it enjoyable for me (been there..DONNEEEE that!). cool that there are people who enjoy it such but just as they are allowed to hype the show for how they interpreted it to be rather than what it was, I am allowed to not be fond of what it is.

y'know..I legit thought maybe FT was another case of Ishq Jalebi for me. where maybe *I* was the odd one out for not being able to enjoy a drama which has a significantly enduring fanbase. but when I watched IJ, I really found nothing special in it and my initial thoughts about it remained unshaken. FT is gonna be like that for me. even if years later i find myself giving it a try..i am 99% convinced it will do nothing for me. also "hate" is a rather strong word. I just have some passionate disagreement over this show's perceived uniqueness, that's all. hate is what I feel for Ishqiya's finale.

[sennaverstappendiary]

australian grand prix ✩ 02.04.2023

SOOOOO HERE WE FUCKING GO‼️‼️‼️ my journey into f1 has finally started. now, is it because i'm dutch and max is slaying? well, that has something to do with it, but! i actually have to instead thank the other driver in my username for getting me into f1! 🥰🥰🥰

🗓️ march 23th, 2023. i was in bed, trying to sleep, and i simply couldn't. i don't know why - might have to do with recovery symptoms, but i COULD NOT sleep. and my now ex was sleeping next to me, so couldn't watch video's. what did i do instead?

wikipedia deep dive. 😁😁😁

i'm not sure how it happened, but eventually i found myself on the... "crashes in formula one" page. and being the morbidly curious little freak that i am, i scrolled through everything. one of them caught my eyes though, more than any other.

💕💕ayrton senna💕💕 - the last driver to pass away during a formula one race. i clicked on his page, and, woah. it was like something clicked inside of me as i scrolled through it. especially his rivalry with 💕💕alain prost💕💕 seemed so interesting to me... like what happened there...

needless to say: i was hooked. more than hooked, to be honest. 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

i ended up scrolling, reading more and more, and i only slept when it was 5 am. the days after that were a blur of FORMULA ONE FORMULA ONE FORMULA ONE. it was genuinely the only thing i could think of/talk about. genuinely felt like i was on cr4ck... 💥💥💥

funny thing: my brother, who had introduced me to f1, wasn't even home at the time i got hyperfixated. sometimes i wonder how that would've gone. 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

another funny thing: i was very sad to find out that the prosenna community wasn't thriving on tumblr 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

another VERY funny thing: i literally laughed the first time i saw lestappen. like in a mean way. i have no clue what happened but about 2 days later i was reblogging it and it was becoming my fav modern ship alarmingly quickly 🤯🤯🤯🤯

so yeah. went kinda (really) fucking crazy the week before this grand prix. of course i decided to wake up at 7 am to watch it 😁😁 god bless. i didn't gaf about fp at the time (smartest thing ive ever done, like, i should stop caring about fp now)

qualifying was just... confusing for me seeing as i didn't understand too much. i do vividly remember how AWKWARD the picture with the top 3 was 😭😭😭 i was very sleepy and i think i accidentally woke up my (now) exin the other room PLEASE 🤣🤣🤣

the race was... i'm both shocked and glad that this was my first ever race. waking up at 7 for it was fun as fuck i can't even lie i LOVE me an early race 💕💕 i was so hyped for it!! i didn't understand much, and i didn't have any friends to chat with yet, but it was fun. if i had been into f1 longer i would've probably been more scared of the mercs leading lap after lap, but i was blissfully unaware AND very very faithful in max... just kept repeating to myself "i'm not gonna worry about it lol" which DID work in the end. i rewatched this race for this post and man. i remember not really giving a fuck about charles dnf because i wasn't THAT much into any modern drivers yet except max LOL. 🥲🥲🥲 and i remember alex's crash being way later than it actually was in the race? maybe because of the crazy fucking red flags PLEASE 😰😰😰 george's car lighting on fire... nyck flopping... my first impression of carlos being his fucking complaint about the SUN i'm screaming... what a crazy fucking race.

after the race i was gleefully telling my dad everything (his ass was NOT waking up at 7 for this which i respect greatly) and shakingly eating breakfast (i was so excited fdjhgdhfgdfh)... and then i realised... 4 weeks without f1 😵‍💫😵‍💫 whilst in the height of my hyperfix!! how did i survive!!!

anyway i'm so glad this was my first race, even though it was a really weird one dfhghdg 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 AUSTRALIA 2023 U WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS TO ME‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

✩ song of the race: Industry Baby - Lil Nas X

I just fuck heavy with this song LMFAO. also it's kinda maxcore if u think about it... i certainly think about it... 😭💕😭💕😭💕

[silvertsundere]

Silver Talks AniManga (16/07/23)

wow actually on time for once impressive myself, a p chill week, tho I wanna catch up to something again soon, only got a couple more series to do before I fulfill my goal of being caught with everything on jump and then I can start branching out to other stuff I've had an eye on for a while but anyway

blue - finale/completed

Anime

Pokemon Horizons Ep13

after 2 weeks of absence the pokemon anime is finally back, tho this one was kinda like a recap episode for half of it while the cast had a picnic. they teased the possibility of roy catching a new mon next ep but we'll see how that goes since riko isn't getting one too for the new few episodes (based on the revealed titles)

Atelier Ryza Ep3

a cute episode overall, centered around ryza using her alchemy to help people around the island now. also greatly enjoy all the ryza x klaudia food, just for me 🙏 also, when they had that magical girl transformation esque scene for when she crafted last ep I was like "that looked way too good for them to not reuse it" and they did, just significantly shortened so lol

Zom 100 Ep2

good ep, I was worried abou them being able to keep up the quality from ep 1 but even if we didn't get any fancy sakuga this time the quality was still good. the new girl is cute and kusunoki tomori did a good job as her. next ep is the mc's friend which I assume is the blonde guy from the op/ed (and that I think was cameo'd on a photo near the start of the ep), and the next ep will be the samurai girl? haven't read the manga so completely blind

Manga

Saihate Quartet Ch18 (Finale)

honestly only started reading this cause I wanted to post the tokusatsu reference panels and I'd feel bad doing it without actually reading it, and also cause it landed on a not very busy day. it was alright tho, it's a comedy so it's very "you either like it or don't", the concept is p fun but shallow, more suited for something like a oneshot I think, I don't regret reading it tho, it had it's moments

Dandadan Ch113

the climactic finale to the big alien invasion team battle, maybe anyway good chap, that flashback page with the cute okarun momo moments was good and it also had 2 of yukinobu's signature "how can this series be weekly" spreads

The Ichinose Family's Deadly Sins Ch33

they spent all this time skirting around the older brother's story, taking many detours along the way for other stuff. this chap they finally revealed the final piece, he was the one that saved them from dying in that one car crash that put tsubasa in a coma, dying in the process himself.. only for it to be revealed a couple pages later that he's still alive??? I really don't understand what the hell ichinose is doing, really is a sad state of affairs when this can go into the 30s when better stuff gets axed way earlier

Blue Box Ch109

lots of cute chinatsu faces in this chap and finally saw hina again after what feels like a billion years. hype for the next chap tho should be getting some very cute scenes 👀

Cipher Academy Ch32

the final match of this tournament arc is finally here and it's.. a game of that of all things? I was wondering how the hell they were gonna incorporate codes into that but they did it in a way that makes sense looking forward to how this goes

Martial Master Asumi Ch5

very cool chap, letting nito show off how strong he can really be when he's not holding back for some reason tho he's totally gonna get clapped next chap

Sakamoto Days Ch127

the first of the slur fights is over and it was really good. good guys ended up losing as I expected but at least they managed to really fuck up the girl which should make things easier in the future, tho I'm hoping heisuke is the one to take her down as payback for this fight

Undead Unluck Ch167

woulda liked to see more from this fight but it was good anyway, even got feng's backstory and the reveal that he's a negator too tho I figured that'd have to be the case. curious to see who the next member is gonna be since we're still missing quite a few

My Hero Academia Ch394

the longest fight in the whole manga is finally over sheeesh not in terms of raw chapters amount but when it started vs when it ended cause it had a ton of stuff in between, it was good tho. not much more left now, I think just all might and AFO and the deku fights are left? getting closer and closer to the end OH today was also the 9th anniversary celebration colour page, I wouldn't be surprised if they had horikoshi keep this going til the 10th anni just so they can do special merch for tha occasion but we'll see

Akane-banashi Ch70

incredibly good chap, don't really got much more I could say than that, just wow, god akane is sooooooo good. anyway now that akane's performance is done I'm p sure my previous prediction about the placements is gonna be true but ofc I still want her to win instead

[rainebowkitty]

saw ur ask thing

u know what I'm gonna say

A-

I THINK THIS IS THE POST THIS ASK WAS MEANT FOR AND I'M FINALLY GETTING TO IT A YEAR OR SO LATER LMFAO I'M SO SORRY MARO

Answers under cut cuz they're all kinda long ^^

First impression: Too cool for school tbh. Like the best comparison I have for it is hearing people hype up the quarterback for like a high school football team in a movie and thinking to yourself, "He's an idiot, isn't he?" The kinda guy that's liked for the shallowest of reasons—either his looks or what he can get people rather than his skills or personality. Perhaps not a fraud... but not all that impressive either. This is all cuz of how he was introduced before his teasers came out. All we had to judge him off of was all the other characters' talking him up in their voice lines, so before he actually dropped, I was just sitting there thinking to myself god, is he really all that they're making him out to be or is it the fact that Mondstadt has no mandatory education program? I was sure I wouldn't be caught in his web.

Impression now: Well, I dropped $100 on him back in the day during his first banner, so I think we all know what I thought of him after I actually got the chance to MEET him

Favorite moment: God that's a toughie tbh... I know you hate that all of his appearances are limited events but I personally LOVE that fact because it means that everyone who's never played the game just hearing people talk him up probably all have the same first impression that I did LMAO. But if I have to pick a moment... well... "Destroy Mondstadt, destroy everything." is PROBABLY when I fell in love with him? Just realizing how lonely and isolated he is because he didn't know how to connect with people is so relatable too, and with the addition of Dragonspine at the time when we were bone dry for content? Yeah, I think that's gotta be my fave moment, though him stabbing his double was pretty hot too LMFAO

Idea for a story: I have this really goofy (but also angsty at the right times) story in my drafts that I never finished where Diluc and Kaeya have to actually get along with each other for once to Sus Out his Susiness™

Unpopular opinion: This is more of a headcanon than anything, but do you guys ever think that his modesty originates from a rather forced place? Like I imagine he was super cold and unemotional about most things while with Rhinedottir, just solely thinking about his own efficiency and results more than his feelings. So what if he wasn't always the kind of guy to gently brush off any declarations of him being a genius? What if, before he started uncovering the natural beauty of the world for what it is rather than what it gets him, he wasn't very good at gracefully accepting compliments? Someone would say he's good at something and he responds with a toneless, "Naturally." I mean, to back this up, his vision story quite literally says he was not surprised to receive one. Maybe Timaeus was the ultimate test when it came to having patience with the slower people in a similar field as him LMFAO

Favorite relationship: Kaebedo for life.

...Wait, you mean canonically? Fine then, him being Klee's big brother is my favorite thing ever. Being pen pals with Scara is pretty great too though LMFAO ty Irodori festival

Favorite headcanon: In that story I have in my drafts, I have a part where he practically dives under a table to grab a snack—said snack being a spider. Or maybe the one where Klee gets into the habit of doing his braids for him. Or maaaaybe the one where Rhinedottir just left him all alone to figure it out on his own one day because she realized she was actively hindering him from becoming as human as she'd like him to be with her frigid teachings and meticulous nature. Because if he's not human enough, he's a failure, of course.

Anyway... That was a lot LMAO. Sorry for typing so much and to anyone who read this, I hope you enjoyed LMFAO

[katstratfordfanclub]

April 17, 2023

Dear Tumblr,

It's been a minute. I've had to move all of my personal shit to a new side blog because clar (formally jg) found my og blog and kinda confronted me about it lol. A lot has happened recently, allow me to catch you up.

So, the clar situation has reached new heights. The last time I posted about it, was a few months ago after the PBI when he invited me to join him for dinner with some of his friends. I declined, something I regret now, but he ended up hugging me before we went different ways. That was the last time I saw him until he came back for spring break.

A few days before Valentine's day, I posted a silly little meme on my close friends' story on Instagram that said something along the lines of 'are you busy feb 14?' or something like that because I am a self-proclaimed hopeless romantic and I simply love love. I love the idea of having someone that I can devote my time to show how much I care for them. Anyway, he swiped up and said hi. This sparked us just talking for a while about life and making jokes about starting a casino in our town this summer. That was that. I continued to post silly little love-related things on my story along with other memes and jokes and he continued to interact with them.

Im friends with his sister and so i had heard that he was back in town in passing from her. I didn't really know what that meant for me at the time though. I knew I had feelings for him and had been hyping myself up in an attempt to make a move on him for months, but now that he was back, I wasn't sure what to do. I talk a lot of big game but as soon as something personal comes up that may change everything, I freeze.

The first time I saw him again was at scholar bowl practice. The room was packed and I was the last to walk in so I had to pull up a chair next to my sister's friend. He just so happened to be right across the horseshoe. I really don't think we talked at all that day tbh. I didn't know what to say and he was constantly surrounded by his friends from back home. I couldn't have said anything without someone sniffing out that I was acting weird. The next day he came to drama club practice. We actually talked then. Not about anything major, just catching up with each other on our lives and making conversation like friends that hadn't seen each other in a while. He did get really close to me though. Making efforts to stand next to me even if we weren't necessarily talking at the time. When practice was over I went on to scholar bowl and we said our goodbyes. I wasn't sure when I would see him again but I had hoped that he would come to another practice either scholar bowl or theatre.

He came back a few days later and spent the whole day with the band teacher, assisting in lessons and giving his insight as a college player. He also came into drama that day and we chatted more, he even put his hat back on my head like he had at the PBI. When the day ended I drove him and his sister home in silence. His sister had made him sit in the back of my car, making conversation difficult between us, not that I could have said anything too, interesting (?), to him because of the whole sister-in-the-car thing. When we arrived, his sister thanked me and got out while he lingered. I didn't say anything because frankly, I didn't know what to say. Finally, he simply said something along the lines of 'I guess I'll see you at graduation?' to which I simply replied that he would. I would be graduating after all and Im not passing up the opportunity to walk the stage. Then he got out because she was just standing by the door, waiting for him.

That was that. or so I thought.

I went home that day and scream-cried all the way to the gym where I ran for a while and then finally completed a very focused and emotional lifting session.

A few days later it was time for my scholar bowl team to go to state. All was good and well about that. It's not the focus of today's post. Anyway, we had just gone through the awards ceremony and gotten back on the bus when I checked Instagram. He had posted a story and I clicked. It was an exact replica of a meme I had posted on my close friend's story four days prior about wanting a bf who always had a Wikipedia article pulled up on his third monitor, specifically the gulf war. Guess what he had on his third monitor? The gulf war Wikipedia page. I was in complete shock. The guy that I had been hinting about having feelings for had possibly dropped a hint back. I was going through it tbh.

Now something about me recently is that I have finally realized that I will never have to see anybody from my high school again unless I choose to after I graduate. This has sent me into a spiral of not taking anyone's shit and playing some more risky moves.

I swiped up. 'the gulf war huh,' i asked. I asked him if he learned anything interesting. He quickly replied that he really didn't remember because it was almost three am when he took the picture. I went along with it. I mean it could have been a total coincidence. He said that he needed to work on some homework. I let him, a little embarrassed about getting so worked up over something that I had then thought to be a coincidence.

A few days passed and he texted me asking if I wanted to talk after drama club via a call because he had gone back to school. I of course said yes. In my mind, this could either go really good or really bad. The good being, he's into me too and all the seemingly unnoticed flirting had not gone to waste. The bad possibility being, he knows that I'm into him and is uncomfortable with it. I went the whole day stressing about it but also trying to not completely freak out. I'm a believer that whatever happens, happens and that everything happens for a reason. Whatever happens on the phone is just how the universe wanted it to turn out.

The time comes. I message him. He replies. We call. He very bluntly asked me if all the posts on my story where about him. I get embarrassed and ask, "what if they where?" He took a minute to say anything and I got worried that I had said the wrong thing so I back tracked. "Being completely blunt, yes they where about you. I've had a thing for you for a while now." I could tell he was really nervous. His voice was shaking really bad and he kept whispering to himself. If I wasn't so caught up in not messing it up I would have been caught up in how cute it was tbh. He said that he thought that he had began to feel the same way for me. We talked for hours that night. Getting to know each other better and what that meant for us.

We are continuing to talk regularly. I cant wait to see where this goes. Expect more blog posts. There are some things about this that, as much as I hate to say it, I am a bit insecure about so ill be using this blog for as much venting as I do journaling the progress we make.

Kat out <3

[totaldramafan-lauri]

Today: Big CRK update Tomorrow: Splatfest Day after that: April 1st (the day I usually do my Eurovision First Impressions posts)

Busy few days.....b-by my standards.....

I miiiiiight give myself a bit more of a break and put off the Eurovision posts by a day or two? But I don’t wanna put it off for TOO long, for obvious reasons....I-I still need to listen to the songs super early in the month, so I can be fair to them all....

U-uh....I might as well start talking about it, tho, before I go!

Yeah, about Eurovision.....I-I’m still interested in it, but other stuff’s been distracting me, just like last year. Luckily, it’s not....AS bad as last year? At this time last year, I was busy writing Naivete, the biggest project I’d ever done, and that was taking up most of my energy, so Eurovision was pushed to the side for a while (altho I was still able to fit it in). This time, my distractions aren’t as big - just been playing games and keeping up with idol crush, and that’s about it. I don’t really have an excuse to go quiet about it. XD

Some reminiscing about last year’s Eurovision below:

I remember how last year, I never did a final thoughts post like I usually do.....and....there’s a reason for that beyond laziness. I actually did sit down to write one, but....for the first time, I chickened out. It mainly had to do with the discourse around the winner that I’d been seeing here and there. I was intimidated. I wanted to give my opinions on it, but....it felt like, no matter what I said, it would’ve felt like the wrong thing to say, or like it wasn’t my business. S-so, I just....decided it wasn’t worth it, and skipped doing the post. I know I could’ve just talked about my thoughts on the rest of the scoreboard, but no matter what, if I made that post, I would’ve HAD to feel like I had to say SOMETHING about what I felt about Ukraine’s winning song. And now that it’s been almost a year, I feel like I can share my thoughts more comfortably now, so here’s the abridged version of what I wanted to say: I believe that it wasn’t because of pity that they won. That was a really cool song, it was unique, stood out, was insanely catchy, and Ukraine have always had a good track record. The song would’ve been winner material any other year as well. However, I do believe that it WAS because of pity that they won by THAT much specifically (over four hundred points from the televote). And my thoughts on the rest of the results was that I more or less agree with everything except thinking Finland and ESPECIALLY France were robbed. I liked the year overall, and yup, that’s about it.

But, it’s in the past, and that felt good to finally get out of my system. XD Yeah, I dunno how that would’ve gone over with people who care about my opinions last year, pffffff....

One final note is that....in hindsight: while I did like the overall collection of songs in 2021 better than in 2022......in terms of just my favorite song, 2022 wins. While I do have songs I adore every year, I cannot overstate how OBSESSED I was with “Jezebel”, like.....i-in a way I haven’t been obsessed with a single Eurovision entry in years. That song was EVERYTHING to me, and I still love it a year later even with other song obsessions since then. Cuz of that, I’m not expecting anything of that level from this year, cuz I’d most likely disappoint myself by setting my standards too high. Still pretty hyped to see what kind of songs my favorites will be, tho! ^^

[sepublic]

         I can’t believe it’s actually ending.

         Three years the show has been airing. But it’s technically been a part of my life for five. I remember when The Owl House was first announced back in February 2018, and something about that magical poster and synopsis caught my eye. Something told me to look forward to this one, that it’d be special… And I had no idea.

         I remember checking Dana’s accounts studiously, impatient for more TOH content ever since that poster. Eventually I stopped, giving up… But then finally, that original teaser trailer, fully instrumental as it gave us clips from what we’d later discover were just the first four episodes! I remember my speculation about Luz going to this world, even had a dream where she was revealed to be the Anti-Christ (not that this was a bad thing in context), that sort of thing. I got hyped to hear Luz’s VA be announced, and went out of my way to find clips of Sarah Nicole-Robles’ voice acting just so I could get an idea of what was to come.

         And the show started off so humbly, so regularly, I didn’t think it’d become so serious! The fact that each episode was a fully twenty-two minutes did bode well for me, but damn. Hearing characters’ voices for the first time. Fully immersing myself.

         And this is it! All speculation will come to a close here, with the final episode. This is the last time we’ll get to watch a new episode, unless that young Raeda spin-off happens, but I’m not getting my hopes up because it’s Disney. These evening hours spent in anxious anticipation for the episode to drop, this is the last time it’ll happen for all of us. The last time I’ll obsessively check Discord to talk about the newest episode, scroll through the Recent tag to see fresh reactions.

         I want to savor it, but there’s also pressure to do this perfectly, as a way to go off. I can’t help perfectly capture how I feel nor a proper retrospective. But in the end, I still want to do it. A part of me doesn’t want it to end, wants it go on forever in infinite hiatus. But another part of me just wants to get the pain and grief over with. My heart is beating hard and it’s been building up in pace since I woke up today.

         I don’t know what to expect, but I gotta say I’ve loved watching it with you guys. Stuff as early as over-analyzing on the snake motifs which eventually DID pay off in String Bean, after that theory that Luz’s palisman would be a snake due to how the title card was designed! The way I compared the Boiling Isles to Mata Nui from Bionicle, even joked about King being the Titan. I remember being there in the early days when there was barely a fandom but still holding out, and boy have we grown since then!

         I was asked for permission to use my posts as credit when speculating on King being THE Titan, though it turns out he was his son. I remember speculating on the Owl mural inside of the Owl House, I’ve made so many friends through TOH. I remember when Adventures in the Elements leaked early and it was a dream episode, ideal and perfect!

         Speculating that there was more to Amity than meets the eye, and being right in the overanalysis! The vindication! Joking about her being a lesbian, seeing a Grom poster but not actually thinking we’d get a Grom episode. And then we did. Thinking we were getting our hopes up with Amity being a lesbian with a crush on Luz, and then the explosion of emotion as our hearts beat, when the note unfurled.

         I remember playing that godforsaken Witch’s Apprentice app just for more content, and then seeing Rebecca Rose analyze the artifacts, with me realizing they provided hints to upcoming episodes! Man, seeing Rebecca go from an early fan who helped start it off, someone I was glad to see provide presence at the beginning, all the way to a full-on crew member! Wonderful.

         Belos was known as Bellows due to a typo in the captions. Speculating on Lilith and Kikimora, who cursed Eda. Being blindsided by the climax of Season 1, and this mysterious Owl-masked figure besides Belos, because I had no clue who this was and who he’d turn out to be, no idea! No idea he and Willow would be a thing, that Belos had a brother he killed and repeatedly cloned in an attempt to get him back!

         This show has broken my heart, revived me, brought life, and so forth. Season 1 was truly wild, and then the year-long hiatus for Season 2, the Reddit AMA and stream… Getting Alador and Odalia’s names early, it was lovely! The S2 intro sneak peek, in progress. Waking up to get an entire trailer! Being caught off-guard with how much the animation improved, even as I had to stay quiet for like two weeks, because the first two episodes of S2 premiered early for special guests!

         Speculation on Philip Wittebane and Belos, the brothers. Seeing Luz figure out glyph combos. Hunter and Flapjack, King and Eda’s stories, as the designs updated. New palismen. The heartbreak of the show being shortened, the anger and rage. The vindication on Creepy Luz just being a scared kid who wants love and means well.

         And then the next hiatus… Season 2B, the end of a proper season as everything came to another climax. We got the truth on Belos, the story coming to a close in anticipation of the Day of Unity. The Season 3 leaks, especially with the titles, and the way they came together to tell us, Thanks For Watching. Like it wasn’t ideal but the audience worked with it, the crew made it work, and the fans stuck through regardless. The crew put themselves out there in this work and we reciprocated and understood.

         Just as Luz wanted and needed so badly. We had S3 and the first look at a special, depressed Luz. The sneak peek. The revelation on just how alike Luz and Camila are. And then the hype towards For the Future… When the Collector really got to shine and show us a new side that completed their character. And finally, after all of the anticipation…

         The episode finished production. The finale is done, just for us to watch. The crew is celebrating, saying their final goodbyes. And my heart and gut are feeling sick, aching with grief. I don’t want it to end, but it’s making me so nervous I need it to, just for the relief and release. And the finale inches ever-closer, the SERIES finale. The end of the end.

         Here’s to The Owl House, you guys. Thanks for everything, thanks for reading my posts, interacting with them, adding onto them; Responding when I responded to your posts! It truly was a magical time and still is for me. I feel like I genuinely learned and discovered a lot about myself through this show and my interactions with fellow fans, and I toast to our final get-together in watching an episode!

        Here’s to Watching and Dreaming! I know that’s what I’ll keep doing once the show ends…! And thank you @danaterrace, for coming up with this wonderful show and continuing to give it to us, despite everything.

[destinywhisperslove]

Pie in the Sky

3/14/23

Has it really been over a year since my last post?? Yet here we are again. It always has to be when I've moved on with my feelings, when I feel like I can go finally go days or weeks without even thinking about it wondering.

His "bestie" O was emailing him and telling him how she feels like emotionally cheating on her husband and he was trying his best to get in on that boat, telling her how someone else has tried to do that to him but he immediately deleted it (lies) and how he's never opened up to someone like this before, and she just wasn't taking the bait. I told him how those emails hurt my feelings and he swore up and down that that part of his life was over. Then I emailed O myself to tell her the full story and she said he's like a brother and not to worry, he's never cheated on me (even though I literally just told her that he had).

Not 4 days later, he goes to eat lunch with "Juan", who was actually his "sister" E and apparently they purchased about $50 worth of Fansly porn together and watched it who knows where. I know he immediately went in and took a shower, but at least he brought me to go food 😒 They talked more about it the next day, aka Deep Throat Thursday, and also how he found some hot porn that reminded him of the picture she sent him in December.

I have the strangest mixed feeling of anger and joy. My heart is galloping, yet I feel peace. I sigh and sigh and sigh, yet there is justice on the horizon, an end. I will put my foot down, I will be a warrior unto myself. Future Dest is here for us! It still makes no sense to me, but I don't think he will be able or willing to explain any time soon.

The other day, between these two events, I caught the scent that I associate with God. It could have easily been a neighbor's cologne (although I didn't see anyone outside) but either way, it's still like the cardinal to me. Even if it's a myth, it's a myth that still helps me remember. I felt like the winds were changing. I thought it was to bring us closer together, but instead I see that it could easily be pulling us apart.

I feel like everything I hear is full of double meaning. I don't know which way it will go once we separate, whether our paths will come together again or keep growing further apart. Everything my heart is telling me is that it's both things.

I've been surprisingly good at compartmentalizing it. I feel like I am treating him no differently. I am waiting until the end of the month, which feels torturously long, but then I remind myself that it will all be over before I can even say much. I'm probably going to be a pacing nervous wreck before then, but what a relief it will be to move on. To stand up for myself. Maybe I'll just sing "Brave" at the top of my lungs to hype myself as needed.

[gnj9ata]

Life check point - I can't seem to go to sleep so I decided to redownload Tumblr and do a life check point of my life up to this point for preservation sake I guess. I had a thought of doing that with little videos and posting them to my YouTube channel. It's funny because I read old Tumblr messages on here and try to figure out my state of mind at that time to no avail.

So what is going on in life...

After all of these years, I am doing bumpers for the MCA again or should I call it The Chat Attack now. It's not mines anymore. It stop being that 6 years ago. He did ask me to come back on the show. I declined. I know me and my head. I would just try to recreate something that isn't there anymore. Same reason I keep watching the old bumpers and shows. I tell myself it's for inspiration or getting new ideas for the new bumpers, but it's me reliving the "glory" days. When I had a group of people listening to me. When I had power or control over something bigger than myself. If I am being honest, it feels good knowing I was "Top dog" at one point in time. That I got my idol at one point Korey Coleman to say "Attack the chat" once on a video, even though if I had the opportunity to talk to him about that, he probably wouldn't remember. It was something out of my head...that became real. That's powerful to me and I really want to do it again.

Ms gay is gone. Died from stomach cancer. Her mom had to stay with us for 4 months while Ms Gaye's sister was buying a house. She just moved out a month ago. Interesting experience. It took for her to die for me to know her name was first name was Carol.

Miranda is still missing...I miss her a lot. I told trey. I would have married her. And that is still true I feel. When I get the resources, I am going to find you.

And dan

Dan is still missing....

Find meech as well.

Jett seems happy with Nick. I'm happy for them both. They both deserve that. Had rough lives. It's nice they can finally get something out of it. Not sure if I will ever get married or what not and do that whole children thing. Only time will tell I guess. I could be reading this ten years from now and have all of these things. We will see.

I am kind of just kinda "meh" on the whole thing at the moment. Dating isn't even my main focus.

I work for pottery barn at the moment. Retail support agent. I answer emails all day. Easy ass job. I legit could just sit there for hours and occasionally do work. Sometimes I read a book or just watch YouTube videos. I am know as the "hype man" in the teams room. If I am being honest, it gives me similar feels to what I had with the MCA. People actually look for me and wonder where I am at. It feels nice to feel wanted or when people like to just be in your presence. But is it real? Just like the love I had with the MCA? Does it have an expiration date?

Because I know I will be curious later...

The book is Sophia's World: A history on philosophy. Good stuff so far. Recommend by ruthless. Yeah....still talking to him. He doesn't respect me like he use too. Doing thumbnails for his YouTube or at least I think I am. I haven't gotten work to do on it in a few weeks. We will see if that last.

I do thumbnails for Josh's The Afternoon Tune. Still going strong. Gave me free range on the thumbnails. I'm proud of him. Although everytime I look at the YouTube page, I see MCA DNA. Still friends with the group....we legit been through think and thin together so I think at this point, our relationship as friends...hell as family at this point is soild. I really hope they all respect me, but aren't these the same thoughts I had last time? Before I burned everything to the ground so what do I know? We are all meeting up for the first time as a group in March. Meeting up in New York. I hope everything goes well.

Regardless I know for a fact I have Fernando and Soberna in my corner. I still talk to them. The only folks from staples at this point. Although the Halloween party, I did get to see Angela, josh and Jermaine. That was fucking cool. I am really happy for Jermaine and his husband. Had no idea the dude was gay, but happy for him regardless.

Devon is still Devon.... maybe worst...or maybe our relationship is just really bad. It's almost like resentment now. I don't even like talking to him now. It's like I have already mourned the lost of my brother and he is still here. I am not even sure how to approach this situation at all. Recently had a conversation with mom about how I am frustrated that he gets to give up, but I can't. Even if I had the opportunity to do so, my mind wouldn't let me. I know I would regret all that wasted time. I have stuff I want to do with my life. And I can't stop until those are accomplished. And even then....lol

Anything else?

I am very annoyed in myself that I have forgotten alot of stuff I use to know. After effects, driving, pass books or let's plays I have watched. What was the last let's play I watched?

Can't remember. (Could probably check the YouTube history if I cared enough)

Still working with my therapist on mindpath. Although I am thinking of just cutting it off. I think I May have reached the point of what she can help with. I think this is one of those roads I probably have to finish alone. I have changed my sessions from every two weeks to every three weeks.

I still care about what my mom, my friends, my coworkers.....other people think about me. I still care and haven't learned my lesson yet. What is it going to take for me to finally stop caring? What is it going to take? The improvement junkie stuff is starting to get annoying to. I can't even relax on my off day and using time to think about how to get better at after effects or improve my memory or get better at mental math. I am going through timeline order of the marvel movies at the moment which is alot more fun than I thought. Trying to get back into gaming more with my steam deck. I love that thing.

It's 6 am and I have yet to get any sleep. And I am suppose to be driving to see Fernando and Soberna today. I need sleep....