#finally i am free from my chains (i brought this on myself)

[heartscrypt]

TEN-FACED: A FANMADE TWST PV

[MINOR FLASH WARNING! PLEASE BE SAFE!]

(ft. cater diamond and trey clover)

heavily inspired by the ten-faced pv made by HannyaG! yes this was the project i was complaining so much about LOL it was a lot of work T_T but it's over... it's done with... and i think it looks good so : )

[REBLOGS APPRECIATED!]

[astrabear]

I have been increasingly sick since Sunday evening. I finally dragged myself to an urgent care clinic today, where my throat was pronounced "a hot mess" and I was given a steroid shot and a prescription for antibiotics. The steroids have brought the inflammation down enough that I can talk, but I sound like an asthmatic seal on helium. It's a miracle anyone can understand what I say.

When the pharmacy notified me that my prescription was ready, I requested that it be delivered (which my pharmacy offers as a free service, bless them.) You have to arrange delivery over the phone, which was a bit awkward and difficult due to my voice issues. I apologized for that, and the guy at the pharmacy was like "yeah, I saw it was an antibiotic and I heard your voice and put two and two together. I hope you feel better soon."

Well that was several hours ago, and I was starting to get concerned because I still hadn't received the delivery. Then I got a call from that same guy. He said that someone dropped the ball somewhere, he wasn't sure what had happened, but while my meds had been pulled for delivery they never actually made it to the delivery driver. The pharmacy will be closing soon, and I don't have a car available tonight (my housemate is using it.) So this man, whose job does not involve making deliveries, offered to drop it off himself after his shift is over because it was their mistake and he knows I'm sick.

And I am just... so touched by the kindness of that, I can't even care about the mess-up that caused it. I asked if I could talk to his manager, to praise him for taking the initiative like this, and she was also really apologetic and I'm like no no, I'm so happy, you have great staff.

This isn't some little indie outfit, this is the pharmacy department of a large grocery store chain. It would have been very easy for them to be like "welp, sucks to be you, you can either come pick it up or wait another 24 hours." But they chose to take care of me.

I just wanted y'all to know that. Sometimes people are kind.

[starillusion13]

MINE TO KILL (Teaser)

Pairing: Royal! Yunho x f! reader (ft. Wooyoung)

Genre: Royal, Mature, Enemies to (?), Smut, Angst

W.C: ??? [1.5k (this is only for teaser)]

Warnings: mention of - to kill someone and threats (all the rest warnings will be in the main plot.

Network: @cultofdionysusnet @k-vanity

Note: Thanks for reading and reblogging. I appreciate all of your reviews and feel free to text me if you want. Spread love to others, not hate. I love Yunho when he is angry and guys finally I have identified my bias in Ateez I think it’s Yunho😃 dw it will change in my next fic lol

"And you thought I won't notice?"

You flinched to the sudden dark voice from the stairs. The ceiling lights and the lamps had a warm radiant but those lights were still piercing on your skin. As if the hatred inside you was adding to the heat of the lights.

Your piercing eyes reflected the shining light of the light chain decorated on the railings. You gripped the glass tighter in your hand, feeling the anger rising in you to watch him descending the stairs.

He should slip a step and fall from the stairs in front of you. You scoffed mentally.

The boots hit to the marbled stairs slowly, the walk was slow, too slow to let you hear each sound of his boot precisely and clearly.

Your glares directed towards him made his corner of the lip to tug upwards slightly. He watched you intently and noticed your slight fear which you were trying to hide it but still couldn't.

At this point, the grip on the glass could have broke it easily but somehow it didn't break.

Maybe like the hatred inside you was enough to burn him but the slight fear was more powerful to hold it back.

"Why are you here?" You hissed.

He eyed the glass in your grip and walked forward to stand a bit too close to your liking. you were glued to the ground where you were standing. you wanted to run away but still something inside you was forcing you to face it, face him like the royal you are. are you strong enough? maybe not. he is more powerful than you. both in morals and money.

"If I say...for you?" he said and leaned forward to inhale the perfume. he hummed near your ear, "same sweet smell. It always remind me of the night. don't you miss that night of us?"

"Never. why can't you just forget about it?"

he chuckled and stood straight, "oh it's too perfect and interesting to remember. how can I just let that sweet moment slip through my mind. I am carving it on a campus to make it remember even if I have amnesia one day."

you gritted your teeth and raised the glass to throw the wine at him but he was quick to get a hold of your hand and took away the glass from you. you glared at him but he just smirked at you and brought the glass to his lips, maintaining an eye contact with you. you could hear some people passing by the passage through, outside the main door of the hall in the backyard of the palace. you glanced to the direction of the door and hoped someone to enter so that you could escape his grip because your strength was nothing to his.

the voices became distant and the hope inside you died down with the rising of the bubble of the little fear.

"I hope you soon have the amnesia and so that I can kill you by myself." you wiggled your hand under his grip.

he ignored you and asked, "did you drink this yet? did your lips touched the glass?" He swirled the wine in the glass.

"why? will you drink from it now?"

he poked his inner cheek and smirked widely, "oh! I am craving for the lips from that night and if you don't give me the honor to devour them again then I have to do it in this way."

"Yunho, mind your words." you threatened him only to get a loud laugh from him. he threw his head back and amusedly watched his grip on your wrist. the image from that night flashed in front of his eyes. the same way you were whimpering under this hold and begging to him. He could feel something inside him stinging, might be the hatred for you.

"But you loved every words from me when I was choking you." He cocked an eyebrow and smirked.

"Please stop it."

"And if I don't?" He loosened his grip on your wrist and as soon as you stepped backward, he harshly grabbed your arm and pulled you towards him. "Does Wooyoung know about this?"

"About what?" You hissed at him because the grip was leaving red marks on your arm and the rings in his fingers were pressing on your skin.

The touch was filled with hatred or love?

It's visible that it's all about the hate for you.

"About us? The love we shared that night. The way I made you feel good." He leaned to your level to whisper into your ears, his breath hitting your nape and you shivered, "the way I marked you mine. When in the first place you were always his."

"There is nothing called us. That night was a mistake. Don't talk about it again. I don't want Wooyoung to know about it. And I am never yours."

He sipped the wine from your glass and closed his eyes, humming in the taste of the liquid. You watched him in disgust. Gulping down the glass, he noticed your glare.

He paused to stare at the door and when the voice of the person on the other side became distant and he noticed that you were distracted.

He threw the glass across the room and glared at you. You flinched to his sudden action and his grip tightened.

"y/n...y/n...y/n..."

He sang your name and his voice and the name coming out from his mouth sent a shiver down your spine. He noticed your little gulp and harshly turned you around and flushed your back against his chest.

"Y/n and Yunho...isn't our name fit nicely together?" He darkly chuckled in your ears. His one hand grabbing your arm tightly and the other placed on your throat. The hand was caressing the skin around when he suddenly squeezed it.

Your choking sound made him smile widely and in satisfaction he whispered, "it will be so fun to kill you, y/n."

You scoffed, "is that a threat?" and gritted your teeth.

He chuckled amusedly, "why? Does that sound like a compliment?"

He loosened his grip around your throat, you coughed out and took deep breaths but he held you against his body.

"Leave me, Yunho."

"I will only leave you when I will kill you."

He gripped your jaw and made you face him. His glares were strong, his muscles tight against the jaw and neck and the gritted teeth hissing at you.

"Then kill me."

"Y/n. Y/n, where are you?" Wooyoung's voice echoed around the place and you both could hear it. You broke the stare with him and looked towards the door when the door was pushed open.

Yunho changed your position quickly and placed his hand on your cheek and other still holding your arm. Smiling at you and you stared at him in confused silence.

Why is he suddenly acting like this?

Wooyoung entered the hall and found you with Yunho, he smiled at your form who was held by his brother. You both were facing side to him. Yet to notice his approaching steps towards you.

“There you are my love. What are you doing here, y/n? That even with Yunho?” He was smiling all the way and when he reached near you, you pushed Yunho’s hand and hugged Wooyoung, burying your face into his chest.

Wooyoung smiled and patted your head in his embrace and with confusion, he looked at his brother.

“What happened to her?”

Yunho chuckled, “she lost her balance in this dress and her glass fell from her grasp so I was just helping her out.”

Wooyoung nodded and felt your hug tightened around him. You clutched his coat tighter and closed your eyes in anger.

These brothers were always different from each other. Even this day, Wooyoung was in red attire representing his love and passion for you. Whereas Yunho in black attire radiating luxury and power in elegance shooting towards you.

“Are you okay, y/n?”

You nodded to his question and he urged you to stand straight. He told his brother that he would like to leave the place with you to spend some time and his brother nodded. He guided you towards the door and you followed him with your hand entangled with his and looking down. You could feel a stare burning hole on your back but you didn’t look back.

Yunho’s eyes followed till you both exited the door and took a turn. As soon as you were out of his sight, he grabbed his hairs and harshly brushed it back in annoyance.

“I will kill you, y/n.”

He clenched his jaw and glared at the way from where you left with his brother.

“Always remember that you are mine.”

He exhaled heavily and clenched his fist where his knuckled turned white and the palm was almost flushed red with slight edges of the nails digging into his skin.

“Mine to kill.”

T.B.C.

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[gothicaphrodite]

I love all my gods equally, even if I consider myself a devotee to two of them and worshipper of the other three. They've all been great to me in their own different ways.

Aphrodite's warm embrace that makes me feel held at all times, especially when I need it most, the joy she's brought back to my life when no one and nothing else did before.

Ares' fierce support, how he always gives me strength to get to the finish line, the push I need to run that last lap so my efforts can finally pay off and then I can rest easy.

Persephone's never-wavering offer of resilience and protection, her mercy as well as ruthless justice, her refuge and promise for a better tomorrow.

Dionysus' passionate encouragement, his always standing hand-holding to free myself from all my chains, his unbreakable acceptance of me as I am even when society hates me.

But Hermes has been so fucking kind, giving and patient to me in ways I can't put into words.

Hermes and Aphrodite were the only ones who gave me gifts as soon as I asked, before I set up proper altars or did any offerings, I just had to promise I would pay them back and they immediately trusted my word and gave away their gifts to me. I'll always be grateful.

I'll never be able to thank Hermes enough.

His bright, rascal laugh, his incredible patience*, his delightful casual approach, how light-hearted he feels in a way that almost feels humble but it only makes him more godly, how attentive he is, the way he felt like a hilarious and very sweet, trusted old friend as soon as I first prayed to him.

I started my worship of him because my fiancé and I took a brief vacation and it was my first time travelling by plane, and soon after I thought I'd get a chance to work as a flight attendant, which strengthened my push to worship him. That didn't work out in the end. I've been looking for a job for 2 years, my fiancé and I really need more money.

And now I just realized I'm finally getting a chance at a good position that deals entirely with communication. I cannot see this as anything other than Hermes' answer to my prayers.

Thank you. Thank you so much.

*Not that my other gods haven't been patient to me too, but Hermes? Wow.

[snowblossomreads]

Day 3: The Snowball Effect

Pairing: Eli Michaelson x StudentFem!Reader

Summary: [Y/n] goes to her professor in need of a lesson of how chemical reactions work. They opt for a more practical demonstration.

Tag(s)/Warning(s): age gap, student/professor. dubious moral, oral (male receiving) and a wild usage of the prompt (throws holy water at myself)

Word Count: 2.1K

A/N: @deepperplexity I want to apologize for the way I used this prompt. 🤣It's a reflection of me as a person and I am flawed LOL. Thank you for understanding. Now lets get to the story while I go get some help 🤣🤣

MDNI

A different way to describe a chain reaction as he told [Y/n] was to imagine a snowball going down a hill and accumulating more snow as it went down before finally accumulating enough to cause an avalanche.

He explained to her that she should focus on how the snowball rolling down hill was the initiation of the reaction, followed by propagation - it accumulating more snow as it rolled down the hill becoming an avalanche at the end and finally, the termination of the reaction. When the avalanche finally comes to a stop and loses all its momentum and forward energy. That's how he said she should think about it.

After the explanation, he asked her if she had any more questions as she had stared at him with a bit of a confused twinkle in her eye. And something more.

"Dr. Michaelson-."

"Eli dear call me Eli."

"Eli I've never seen snow before. I think I might need a more practical example of this."

Who was he to not oblige his pretty little undergrad who had come to him for help?

"A practical demonstration you say? Well you're in luck," he drawled, a hungry grin on his lips as he eyed the woman sitting across from him who was shamelessly rubbing her thighs together already, excited for what was to come. "It just so happens that I was going to add one of those practical demonstrations to my syllabus. Mind helping me see how effective it is in teaching?"

She didn't even have to think about her answer as she popped up from her seat quickly and walked around the desk to his side only to find him rubbing his already freed cock that had an angry red looking head that seemed ready to burst.

When had he had time to do that?

Never mind that she was more interested in the demonstration as he had so called it as she dropped to her knees in front of him. Maybe she shouldn't have worn the skirt considering how seasonally cold the floor was. She should ask him to turn on the heat next time knowing he would probably continue to insist on her wearing something well…accessible.

Turning his chair so that he was facing her and she was facing his cock, Eli removed his hand from himself before directing the kneeling woman to wrap her hand around him firmly but not too tightly.

"That's right wrap your fingers around it and feel free to squeeze oh that's it," he hissed as her cooler digits did as he commanded causing his hips bucking up at the temperature contrast. The contrast of temperatures brought an interesting sensation that was not at all unpleasurable as his cock twitched at the feeling.

"Good girl that's right, now go ahead and move your hand up and down and keep that grip of yours," he directed in a low grunt as she did as he told her.

"Like this sir?" She asked with a tone of innocence as she began to pump the thick member with a practiced paced that he wondered if she had been practicing with any of the boys in her class.

No no, he kept her occupied enough.

"Exactly ah fuck you learn quick don't you," he praised letting out a loud sigh of pleasure to let her know how much he was enjoying the hand job.

"Now open that mouth of yours and lick all around the tip, don't forget the slit ugh fuck yes that's my girl…then I want you to fuck your mouth with my cock can you do that?"

"Yes sir," she answered with no hesitation as she bowed her head, fingers still pumping his pulsing member before she was flicking her tongue around his tip and tasting the warm velvet flesh.

She tested the waters with light kitten licks around the head and small kisses before dipping her tongue in the sensitive slit that had Eli grabbing the arms of his chair and thrusting upwards involuntarily.

"Ugh Uhhn!"

Someone was sensitive today she thought briefly but she had no qualms about that as she continued doing as he had told her. She did enjoy hearing his grunts and groans as she alternated between rubbing his slit with her thumb, smearing him arousal and licking him clean. The salty tang of him was addicting as she swallowed the liquid each time it touched the tip of her tongue and soon enough she was sucking him off with her cheeks hollowed and noisy moans leaving her.

She bobbed her head up and down on his shaft while her hands grabbed at his thighs for purchase as she took more of him down her throat with each pass of her lips. Over and over wet gags filled the room along with expletives coming from Eli who was letting her do all the work of demonstrating his practical explanation of what a snowball effect looked like.

Though she wasn't sure if they were quite there yet.

"Fuck that's it use that little greedy mouth, fuck naughty little thing," he praised as she moaned and gagged on him yet went to take more until she was burying her face in his lap at one point.

It drew out a loud elongated raspy groan from the older man as he sat upright suddenly from the shock of pleasure that filled his veins. His sudden action caused his cock to slide deeper down her throat than she was prepared for causing her to almost choke. Yet she held her composure only letting out a loud whimper as he began to lift his hips up slowly thrusting into her already stuffed mouth.

"Oh god I'm enjoying this, ugh so much fuck gonna come in that little mouth of yours," he loudly grunted as his hand found the back of her head and began to push it down in tandem with his thrusts. "Don't swallow do you fuck understand? It's essential you keep all my semen in you mouth when I come!"

"Mhmmh mhmm!" She could only hum her understanding which only caused his cock to feel like it had hardened even more in her mouth at the vibrations.

That only meant one thing, and within in a few more moments of thrusting he came with a noisy shout of her name as as his sticky salty seed began to coat the inside of her mouth.

It was so much that she was scared he might drown her with it as he had told her not to swallow and she was keen on obeying. Thankfully he must have known how much she could take as he was pushing her off his cock only to have a few spurts paint her face causing her to let out a garbled whine.

She held her mouth closed though as she watched him lean back on his chair. Hair and shirt disheveled, face red and sweat beading on his forehead from the exertion of well...having her give him a blowjob for the sake of education.

"Now come sit here," he panted out pointing at his lap. "Open your mouth and let's see if we've collected enough of our test sample."

Scrambling up from the floor, she quickly planted herself on the knee of his spread legs before opening her mouth showing the pearly liquid that she held in her mouth.

Humming in approval at the sight, Eli ran his hand up her body before giving her tit a nice firm squeeze causing her to shut her mouth and groan at his touch.

"Excellent, with that we can do the actual demonstration, all you need to do is kiss me to start the reaction, oh you like the sound of that don't you?" He teased when she let out a low whine at his direction that was accompanied by him squeezing her side causing her to make another squeak.

"After that you just need to deposit our sample into my mouth, and then I'll give it back to you, and we'll do it oh about five times should be enough to get the point across. We can redo it later if we need to try again. Now come on let's get to work."

Hand cupping the back of her head and pushing it forward without warning, Eli pressed his lips against the woman's harshly licking at the seams of it before she was opening them and letting his cum slip into his mouth.

He groaned at the taste as it was now mixed with her saliva making it even sticker as he added his own before swapping it with her again. It was a messy process and [Y/n] was sure there was a bit running down her chin but it didn't stop her from letting him spit the substance in her open and waiting mouth before she was adding more to the mess.

They did this five times as he instructed, each time the ball of saliva and cum mixing before it was back in [Y/n]'s mouth causing her to puff her cheeks as the volume of liquid had indeed increased with them swapping it back and forth.

Taking a pleased look at her, Eli swooped down and gave her one last kiss before commanding her to.

"Swallow."

She did with a barely audible 'gulp' as he watched with a devious smirk plastered on his face.

"And that's what we call a snowball effect, I think it's a great way to teach don't you think?"

"Mhmm, but I think we may need to retry it.”

"Really and why's that?"

"Well Eli I think the sample loss some of it's volume due to human error," she pointed out, though her voice took on a teasing tone as she swiped some of the cum that had landed on her cheek and proceeded to suck it off her digits. His eyes followed her movements and he let out a soft groan, shifting in his seat as he felt his cock twitch at her salacious action.

"And I want to make sure I have a concrete understanding. Can't let my professor down now can I?"

Smirking at her 'reasoning' the older man could only let out a amused laugh before his hand trailed down and squeezed her ass causing her to moan and push herself closer to him.

"Such a studious student Ms. [Y/n], well then, let's repeat the expriment and see if we can improve our sample collection technique."

A/N: I just I'm so sorry LOLOLOL. No actually I'm not 🤣I hope u guys enjoyed this unhinged mess.

[fadingdaggerr]

all bark, some bite - l.w.

pairing: larissa weems x gn!reader (no pronoun or name use for reader)

summary: parents’ weekend is a time of stress, especially when an addams is now a student, and her mother and the principal have a fun little history behind them

warnings: fully using morticia as a plot device (sorry tish baby i luv u), suggestive ending

note: i have no idea what happened to this fic

the closer parents’ weekend grew, the more antsy larissa became. she typically has gone over every little detail three, four, five times by now. every year she takes great consideration into everything, wanting the parents to see the nevermore in all her glory, down to having every knickknack in every common space dusted and polished to perfection. but this year felt different. the tension in her shoulders was tighter this year, her pacing more pointed, her sleep dwindling by the day, and if none of this was enough, the now eight rechecks of plans was starting to look a little crazy.

when the day arrived, she was somehow more tense than she had been for the last two weeks. usually once the day began, she had been confident and excited, but today, she fiddled with her wedding band nonstop, watching as parents arrived and greeted their children.

walking up beside her, i lean in so my voice only reached her, “everything looks great, baby, relax a little bit. the students look happy, the schedule’s fun, you look stunning as always, everything’s in order.”

“you have got to stay close by me at all times,” is all she says.

“as much as i would love that, i have to be in my classroom to answer parent questions for the first couple hours. but, i would love to sneak in a visit my favorite girl,” i smile to her, pressing my lips to her clothed shoulder, and i can see some tension reduce a little.

“i will be holding you to your word on that,” she grabs my hand, pressing a kiss to my knuckles. i pull her hand to my own lips, returning the favor, not missing the way her eyes light up.

in their mini tours, many of my students brought their parents to my classroom. most got a full report of the class from their children, meaning i was just there to deliver pleasantries, admittedly spruce up the behavior of some students when parents asked, and accept compliments on my book collection.

tall floor to ceiling bookshelves covered the west-facing wall of my room, a rolling ladder allowing me to reach the very top shelves. the top shelves were reserved for only the greatest of my collection, the rare and beautiful ones. books the students enjoy were closer to their reach, the ladder being a no-go for any of them. i always kept books larissa loved at her own eye-level, she had yet to notice it was on purpose, so her little excitement was a special treat whenever she gazed at the shelf.

after two hours of meetings that ended with a lively conversation with eugene’s moms, i thought i would finally be able to retreat back to wherever larissa may be. as i started to head out the door when a familiar, dark presence blocked my path to the hall.

“hello, wednesd-”

“principal’s office, now.”

“i’m doing great, thank you so much for asking wednesday,” i say monotonously, “and why am i so kindly being summoned to the principal’s office?”

“i’m saving her, and by proxy, you, a headache,” and she leaves. a hefty dose of ‘no context’ from wednesday addams, no day is complete without it anymore.

i make my way to larissa’s office, knocking gently before peeking my head in, “riss?”

“darling, what are you doing here?” she asks as she moves from her desk and makes her way over to me, both hands grabbing mine, pulling me closer.

“wednesday addams. she sent me here to ‘save you and myself a headache,’ whatever that means,” i say with a shrug, placing a sweet kiss to her cheek.

“i hope we don’t find out,” her hands moving, arms wrap around my waist, my own going around her neck.

“me neither. a nice, headache free day sounds phenomenal,” i say while adjusting the chain of her necklace, “how has your day been, my angel?”

she lets out a deep breath, “probably about as interesting as yours so far, but i would say it’s much better now,” she finishes her sentence with a short kiss to my lips.

i hum in agreement, and just as i go to pull her back in, there’s a knock as the door. we jump apart before larissa calls for whoever knocked to enter. the door opens, and i see a woman, dressed in a long, black gown enter the room. she’s smiling with adoration at the shorter man next to her, love for the woman evident in his gaze.

larissa’s eyes widen as she freezes in place. this is what she had been dreading, morticia addams.

the woman looks back towards the room, “larissa!”

“morticia! lovely to see you.”

ah, the headache, i think to myself, just as she begins to approach me. wednesday looks more homicidal than usual, and i can’t help but share the feeling.

“why hello there, morticia addams,” she sticks her hand out for me to shake. before i can introduce myself, she speaks again shutting me down, “and this is gomez, my husband,” gomez grabs her hand, kissing up her arm, muttering terms of endearment in spanish, “and my son, pugsley.”

“well, it sure is certainly nice to meet all of you,” my smile is fake, but morticia doesn’t seem to notice the insincerity, so i continue, “wednesday is fantastic in my literature of the macabre class. she has been at top of my class since she started, which has not been unexpected.”

i almost feel as if i’m bragging about how well my own child is doing in class, and i can see as larissa smiles softly at my words.

“that is fantastic to hear, our little viper is a master of the macabre,” gomez praises his daughter, the action making wednesday scowl harder, but making me smile slightly.

the addams’ sat across from larissa, i stood to larissa’s right, offering her support with my presence. discussions of wednesday’s academics and extracurriculars continued for a little bit. i stayed quiet for most of it, happy to be with my wife, also hoping i could be a buffer between her and morticia. i had been filled in, well before we got married, about how cruel morticia was to larissa later in their academy years. i also stayed for wednesday, who wouldn’t admit that she needed someone else in her corner when her parents were around. all conversation came to sudden halt when morticia let out a gasp.

“how could i have not seen that? larissa, you never mentioned you had gotten married,” she grabs larissa’s left hand, pulling it close to look at her ring. a shudder moves down my back at the contact.

“it wasn’t relevant the last we spoke, and before that we hadn’t seen each other since we graduated, so why when would i have said anything?” larissa is calculated in her response, letting me know this interaction had been something of worry to her.

“goodness, when did this happen? must not have been long ago, or else i would’ve heard, i’m sure,” morticia responds, and i almost laugh at her certainty.

“it’s been seven years as of september, as a matter of fact. and we were together for five years before that. it was a very private ceremony, we only had our closest loved ones in attendance,” larissa answers as she pulls her hand back, looking at her ring with a soft smile, a light blush painting her cheeks at the memory. i bite my tongue to hide my own smile.

“private ceremony, private answers, not even a photo in here larissa,” morticia gestures around the office, and the anger in me grows slowly.

“with students, staff, faculty, parents, and even law enforcement regularly in my office, i would rather not have my personal life on display. what’s mine is private,” she says the last part lowly, a warning to morticia that she must tread lightly, but her tone ignites a fire in the pit of my stomach.

this warning is noted by a raised brow, but is violently ignored when she looks larissa in the eye with a pathetic frown and says, “please don’t tell me you settled?”

larissa’s face immediately grows dark, her hands flattening against her desk, she starts to rise out of her seat. to avoid a small war in the middle of the office, i take a step forward and speak in her place, “i believe ‘settling’ is more of a subjective concept,” my eye contact is sharp and unwavering, “in my opinion, she most definitely did settle, outrageously settled. but from her words, at the very least, i would say she does not share the same sentiment as i do,” the emphasis on ‘very’ has larissa’s head whipping my way at the innuendo, “some would say marrying your high school sweetheart is settling, but i’m not one to judge,” pugsley snorts, wednesday’s eyes shoot to him in a playful manor, clearly enjoying this just as much,“well, not one to judge often, as my mother used to say, ‘everyone has a taste, whether or not they should have be pickier is up to the heavens.’ quite the phrase, don’t ya think?”

morticia’s mouth shuts immediately, her eyes shooting to larissa’s to ask for help. she has nothing to offer her former roommate, other than holding back her own laughter.

“anyways, i should be on my way, poetry club meeting starts in 30 minutes, and i have to get the room set up for the parents,” i say with a smile towards the addams. “it was lovely letting you mister and missus addams, you too pugsley. i will see you in class next week, pretty please remind enid to read the chapter, do not give her the gist of it,” i point to wednesday as i speak, “and you,” i turn to larissa, “i will see you at home,” i kiss the top of her forehead to end my goodbye, my left hand on her shoulder, matching wedding band on display.

i pat her shoulder once more before walking towards the door, i turn to look at her, right as i’m about to close the door and blow her a kiss. she smiles softly and rolls her eyes at my antics.

“anything else you would like to discuss?”

— — — — —

my day, thankfully, ended after the poetry club meeting. a side road only a couple miles past the campus gates brought me to a dark green, two story house with brown trim. a wrap porch with vines growing up after years of free roaming, but neat from snipping and reshaping them when they got unruly. this wasn’t just some house, it was the home larissa and i now shared.

getting home, my shoes slid off before i even unlocked the door. keys were on the hook, bag on the seat by the door, jacket on the peg, shoes thrown on the floor. i make my way go our bedroom, purposefully going to her closet for a sweatshirt, grabbing a light grey one, and a pair of my own sleep shorts from my top drawer.

larissa comes home silently while i was a focusing on not burning the vegetables in the pan. she follows a similar pattern to me, only neater and quieter. i don’t notice her presence until i’m adding the vegetables to the sauce, and two long, pale arms wrap around my middle. i continue my task with her draped around me, stirring the vegetables in, spinning the spice rack in search of oregano and red pepper flakes.

“you are trouble” i laugh at her opening line, “at the very least, huh?”

“children were present, and in my defense, those particular ones have definitely heard much worse from those horn-dogs,” i say like it’s nothing, making her laugh this time. “and you’re one to talk. ‘what’s mine is private’? good lord, riss,” i jokingly fan my face, and she laughs harder.

“i stand by my statements,” she pinches my side, “especially the one where i disagree with you on me settling. i don’t settle, if i wanted to i could’ve long ago, but i waited for the right person and found you,” she whispers the end into my ear.

“and look at you now, with a much better last name,” i add the noodles to the sauce, “could’ve been missus larissa antoinette weems-fru- LARISSA!” i squeak as a hand smacks against my ass, laughing immediately.

“don’t even start, gods you even brought the middle name into it,” she laughs with me, her head resting against my shoulder.

i pick up a sauce-drenched noodle on a spoon, raising it to her lips, she gladly takes the bite, groaning happily at the taste. biting back a comment about the noise, i start to prepare dishes to serve on. larissa stays glued to my back, following each of my steps around our kitchen.

“i may need you around for more parent-principal meetings, especially ones involving… particularly difficult cases,” larissa says into my neck, avoiding the use of morticia’s name, as if it would summon her if spoken.

“you name the time and place, i’ll happily be wherever you need me. i can be like your guard dog,” i laugh a little at the notion.

“perhaps a ‘beware of dog’ sign outside my office may be needed,” she jests as she pulls away to set the table.

with dinner finished, and a bottle of wine later, larissa and i lay on the couch together, my fingers weaving through her hair as her head rested on my chest, her hands wandering every now and then from my abdomen, down my legs, and back up. i scratched my fingertips against her scalp, a noise just short of a purr comes from the back of her throat. we stay in this silence for a while, relaxing from the day, knowing tomorrow still had a slim chance to be incident free. loving her and being loved by her was all there was at this moment.

her head raises from my chest, i also pout at the loss of the comforting weight against my chest. tired, larimar eyes find mine, and i feel my heart skip a beat, her beauty has never failed to surprise me. someone like her, someone this beautiful, chose me.

she stares a little longer before sweetly saying, “you’d make a horrible guard dog,” and my jaw drops slightly, i’m utterly gobsmacked. i had been expecting a loving comment, or even a lustful one, not whatever this was.

i look at her for another moment before gathering my thoughts. i piece together the only thing that feels right to say at a time like this, “what the fuck?”

“you’re awfully cute, darling. i don’t think they’d find you scary,” she leans down to kiss the middle of my chest through my (her) sweatshirt, then looking back up at me. she made a point, i was not nearly as intimidating up front as she was.

larissa was intimidating just to look at. she’s gorgeous, tall, and clearly professional. she could talk her way out of anything, and just as easily talk her way in, just with her wit. all of this, this perfectly sculpted image, could be brought down by a little beetle crawling on the wall. a beetle i would be called in to crush, but instead would end up being guided onto a paper towel and released back into nature.

“well, they’d be mistaken then. and apparently so are you. you’d think my own wife would know me better,” i scoff, but the smile on my face betrays the feigned attitude. she laughs, and smile grows wider and wider. “i’ll let this insult on my character slide, only because of the wine, and definitely not because i love you so much,” i continue, and she groans playfully.

she puts her head back down on my chest, arms giving me a squeeze, “i love you more, and seriously though, thank you for being there today. and just so you know, for the rest of this weekend, you are not leaving my side.”

i chuckle, “as if i could even dream of it,” wrapping my arms around her snugly, “you know stuck with me forever, you’re the one who put a ring on it,” i pepper the top of her head in kisses as she tries not to laugh.

her head nudges up, she buries herself in my neck. i hide my own face in her soft hair, inhaling her scent. i feel her lips pressing along the column of my throat, moving upwards. little nips marked the trail to my jaw, kisses as she moves to the side more. one final tug of my earlobe by her teeth brings me back to full attention. her voice lowers, “how about i show you at the very most how much i love you?”

bit of a longer fic to make up for the lack of them in the last week. feedback is, as usual, appreciated greatly :)

[the-blackholeus]

Pt2 of yandere shredder?

(I am so sorry I take so long posting things. It's a mixture of being a lazy ass and the acostumazation to the work life. I will try to better myself, promise. Anyway, hope you enjoy this.) 

"Oh, my dearest [Name]. I finally have you all to myself again."

His deep voice sent shivers down your spine as you trembled in the chair you were chained to, your chest shuddering violently with rapid breaths. You flinched as his fingers, dressed in deadly leather gloves, gently traced over your cheek, running down until he was able to wrap his digits around your chin.

"You have no idea how much I missed you.", he purred as he forced you to lift your head, you e/c eyes meeting his. "How much I yearned to see you, to smell you, to hear you." Gently, he connected his lips with yours. "You have no idea how devastated I was when I heard about your disappearance."

You didn't answer and just yanked your face from his grasp. It hurt, as your neck had become rather stiff in the many hours you were already sitting there, forced to face the most dangerous man on earth that, once again, roamed free. Shredder just chuckled at your reaction, his smug smile turning into a full-blown grin. "Ah, I see that your stubbornness has remained."

"Fuck you!", you spat, glaring at him with all the hate you could muster. "Fuck you and your fucking clan."

He hummed, unfased by your words. "Such vulgar language coming from such a pretty mouth.", he tutted and clicked his tongue, reaching out to let his fingers run through you hair. "It seems that in the time of my absence, you have forgotten your manners."

"I haven't forgotten my fucking manners! I just learned that I don't have to take this shit from you.", you growled, clenching your teeth so harshly it hurt. "You bastard treated me like trash, like a fucking toy! You wrecked me, destroyed me on every way possible........ It took me years to get where I am now, and I will not let you destroy me again!"

Shredder did not answer right away and merely lifted his eyebrow at your outburst, surprised by this sudden aggression. He did not know you like that, and he did not like it. Not. At. All.

"Yes, you have.", he hummed once he regained his composure, his expression souring. He reached out and forced you to look at him again, leaning in close so that his lips hovered just above yours. "And it is such a shame. But...no matter..."

The digits of his other hand gently warped around your neck, daring you to move a single inch. He positioned himself above you, his strong physic claiming the majority if your field of vision. The corners of his lips twitched upwards again, and his pearly teeth flashed in the dim light of the empty room you were brought to earlier this day as he chuckled, stretching his neck so your mouth was not even an inch apart. "I just will have to teach you again."

And with those words, he crashed his lips upon yours, forcing his tongue past your lips.

[maskyish]

Re:vale LIVE 2023 WINTER FESTIVAL!! - 1st Intermission Talk (Part 1)

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3

Please note: I am NOT a professional and my level of JP is very, very basic. I do this for practice and to share with other fans for fun. Please take my translations with a grain of salt as there may be mistakes. If you see any, please let me know and I can correct them. If anyone else has this card and wants to translate this at any time then please feel free to do so!

Re:vale: Happy New Year, everyone! 

Momo: I’m Momo! 

Yuki: And I’m Yuki! 

Momo: And together—! 

Yuki: We’re Re:vale! 

Audience: Kyaaaaa!!

Momo: Thank you for coming to the “Re:vale LIVE 2023 WINTER FESTIVAL!!” today!! 

Momo: I’m ultra happy to be able to start the New Year off by seeing everyone! Let’s all make it the best year ever together! 

Yuki: Our juniors have brought us through the spring, summer, and fall seasonal lives, so shall we tie it off? 

Yuki: We’ll have to make it a worthy live to finish on. Can you all get excited with us? 

Audience: Kyaaaaa!!

Momo: WHOA, so lively! It seems like you’re all ready to go! 

Momo: Then to start us off, let’s show off our outfits! 

Yuki: I’m sure everyone's curious about them, too.  

Momo: If that’s the case, then here’s Momo-chan reporting from the scene! 

Momo: Yuki-san, what are your thoughts on your new outfit? The word on the street is since it’s New Year's, it has a kimono design! 

Yuki: That’s right. I quite like the feel of the fur. And best of all, the cloth covers everything but the face, so it’s a good way to keep from the cold. 

Momo: Ahaha! I see! Then the new outfits are perfect against cold weather too! 

Yuki: Yeah. It’s also perfect for stuffing warmers in the clothing.

Momo: That’s…. Shhh! That’s something secretive! It’s embarrassing to sing with such a cool face while having body warmers stuck everywhere! 

Yuki: Then just scratch that. 

Momo: You’re posing as if we can cut it out (1), but isn't this a live broadcast– or rather, a live concert?! 

Yuki: ….. Momo, do you think I’m uncool with my warmers? 

Momo: Never! Even with warmers covering your whole body, or if you're curled up into a tiny ball in front of a heater, Yuki is the most handsome man in the entire world! 

Yuki: Fufu. It’s fine then. 

Yuki: Next up, please tell us the points of your outfit you recommend, Momo. 

Momo: Let’s seeee… I guess it’d be the mix of Japanese and Western clothing! 

Momo: It’s hakama-style (2), but there’s a fur jacket on the top, plus the belt and chain and stuff is super fashionable right? 

Momo: Although, it makes it a bit difficult to put on! 

Yuki: Oh yeah. It took you quite some time to take off the gloves. 

Momo: Exactly! During the fitting, I couldn’t even take them off by myself! 

Momo: We really pulled and struggled to help each other undress! 

Yuki: We had to get changed really quickly today so we had to get the staff to help us out.  

Momo: It would’ve taken us way longer if we did it on our own!

Momo: But also, isn’t this stage amazing? Re:vale finally built a castle! 

Yuki: It really is amazing.

Momo: So, this may be sudden, but here’s Momo-chan’s Quiz for Yuki! 

Yuki: That really was sudden. What is it? 

Momo: What’s my favorite thing about this stage? 

Yuki: For this stage…? 

Yuki: …. Isn’t it our castle? During our rehearsals, you looked really happy and took a lot of pictures. 

Yuki: You were happy like you were lord of the castle. 

Momo: You remembered me in so much detail, Yuki…. The points are through the roof…! 

Momo: But… not quite! 

Yuki: It's something else? 

Momo: Of course I like the castle too, but… I like the snow (3) the most! 

Yuki: Snow…? 

Momo: I’m so happy I get to start the year singing on a snow-covered stage with Yuki!

Yuki: Fufu…. What a cute thing to say.

Yuki: In that case, the next time we do an outdoor concert we'll have to have some peach blossoms planted. 

Yuki: Since I also want to sing on a peach-covered stage with Momo. (4) 

Momo: Yuki……! 

Yuki: Let’s have another live when the peach blossoms bloom. It should be a bit warmer than it is now. 

Momo: You have a point! But, it’s still cold…… So for now, let us warm you up with our songs!

Momo: Next up will be a song that will slowly warm your hearts.

Yuki: “t(w)o…”

~End of Part 1.~

TL Notes: 

This card has little chibi versions of the characters talking so their facial expressions and poses change, so during this part Chibi!Yuki is crossing his arms into an X, as if to say “Cut!” 

Hakama is a traditional type of Japanese clothing that is worn over kimonos. You can find out more information about them here. 

This is a play on words off of Yuki’s name since 雪 (yuki) means snow so there's a double meaning here.

Just like the previous note, this is a play on words off of Momo’s name now since 桃 (momo) means peach. The literal translation for this line would be something like “I also want to sing on a stage surrounded by Momo/peaches.” but I worded it to pair with Momo’s line before it so it would sound a little more natural while still keeping the double meaning. 

And thank you @hunieday for helping me reword some of the lines~

[broodwolf221]

for dadwc, could i request “Hold my hand for a second. It won’t kill you.” for morrigan/leliana? bonus if smutty :p

okay this one was fun uwu im love them @dadrunkwriting 1249 words cws: none very smutty. much smut.

“Morrigan.” She bit back a sigh, straightening up from where she'd been tending to an herb bed to face Leliana. She had been expecting this.

“Leliana,” she replied simply. The other woman was… transformed. The lighthearted young bard Morrigan had traveled alongside, somehow bold and gentle at once, was now wary and analytical. The years had hardened her, an armor that had settled across her skin.

“What are you really doing here?” Wary, indeed. Though she supposed it was quite understandable.

“As you can see, I am tending to the garden.” She knew it was not the answer Leliana sought but was curious about her response to the deflection, eyes narrowing.

“That is not what I mean and you know it.” Her voice had a brittle quality to it now, where once she would have been fondly exasperated.

“No?” She tilted her head and blinked before smiling, done playing the part. “It appears not. Very well, I shall answer your questions, should you ask them plainly.”

“Why did you join the Inquisition?”

“If you will recall, I was handed over to the Inquisition,” Morrigan answered simply. Leliana scoffed, unconvinced.

“Naturally. And clearly you had to follow orders, could not have left of your own free will. In chains you were given to us, and in chains brought to Skyhold, is that it?”

She shrugged. “Where else should I have gone? Back to my mother? Or perhaps you imagined me building my own hut, raising my son in secrecy as she did? I was no longer welcome in the Orlesian court, nor would any other part of Orlais care to harbor an apostate.”

“All mages are apostates now,” Leliana pointed out flatly and Morrigan couldn't help but laugh, earning a faint scowl from the spymaster.

“‘Tis true, but of those ‘apostates,’ how many still wear Circle robes, hold themselves to Circle values? No, I am an apostate in a way that will never be tolerated in polite company. The Inquisition is as much refuge as it is opportunity.”

“‘Opportunity’?”

“Indeed. Think what you will of me, of my reasons, but there is nothing to be gained by letting a would-be god claim dominion over our world.” She took a step nearer and Leliana did not back away. “There was a time when you trusted me to do what was right,” she said softly. 

“And then you left,” Leliana's voice was quiet enough to not carry, but no less venomous for it.

“I did,” she admitted. “But… ‘twas you who left first.” For the first time, Leliana looked away. “Why come to my fire so many nights? Why ask me for tales, share your own, only to leave when I finally invited you to my tent?”

“I… could not join you.”

“Why?”

“You know why.”

“Ah, yes, more the fool I. Failing to understand that the ways of flesh would shift your Maker's gaze from you.” Morrigan was surprised by the hurt in her own voice—she had thought this particular pain long since past. Leliana's poise seemed to falter for a moment.

“I was naive,” she admitted softly, still not meeting Morrigan's gaze. “And arrogant, believing myself to be His chosen. But He did not choose me. I have learned to accept that.”

“Pity ‘twas not in time,” she said acerbically, Leliana wincing. But a moment later she straightened, meeting Morrigan's eyes pointedly.

“There is time yet,” she said. It was quite the unbelievable statement. “Should you still will it.”

“You are full of surprises, no? Is this your new way to spy on recent acquisitions?” Leliana smiled at the question, the bright, mischievous smile Morrigan recognized from years past.

“Only those who catch my eye,” she teased, voice low. “Have you time now?”

“Ah-”

“Take my hand,” she continued, “it won't kill you.” Her smile remained the same, Morrigan swallowing before taking the offered hand.

Their fingers laced together and Leliana led her through the keep to a simple room. Morrigan glanced around the spartan decor, faintly surprised to be brought to the other woman's chambers directly, although she supposed there was nowhere else fitting.

With the door shut and bolted behind them Leliana turned to face her, pulling her hood back to reveal the vivid shade of her hair, slightly mussed. They were still holding hands, Morrigan letting herself be pushed against the cold wall.

Then Leliana kissed her.

At first it was gentle, searching, curious—but it quickly became heated and demanding, her free hand slipping between them to stroke across Morrigan's bare stomach. She pulled back just enough to speak: “do you want this?” The question made her laugh again.

“Only for years. You are late enough as it is, do not stop now.” She pressed into Leliana's touch, watching as the woman smiled before kissing her again, her hand shifting up until it grazed the simple top Morrigan wore. It took no effort for her to slip under the scant fabric, holding her breast while her thumb dragged back and forth across her nipple. She shivered under the ministrations, gasping into the kiss as Leliana slotted their legs together.

They finally broke the kiss as they started to grind against each other, Morrigan pulling her hand free so she could use both to explore Leliana's curves before settling on her ass, dragging her forward into every thrust. 

She didn't think this would feel so good, although part of it may simply be that it'd been a very long time. But Leliana's shaky moans and sighs were thrilling and Morrigan was already soaking wet, each thrust against the other woman's leg driving her that much closer to the edge. Despite this, it was Leliana who came first, thrusting fast and hard before suddenly stilling, her hips stuttering forward a few times as she gasped. “Don't you dare stop,” she growled, using her grip on Leliana's ass to continue dragging her forward, rutting shamelessly against her leg.

After a few moments of that she sighed, frustrated, and pushed Leliana gently away. “Lay down on the ground.” The woman frowned before doing as she was bid, watching as Morrigan settled atop her. “Now raise your knee like—yes,” she gasped as Leliana's tense thigh pressed against her groin, each thrust dragging her wet smallclothes across her cunt, a slick tension that just brought her that much closer. “Just like that,” she managed as she ground hard against the other woman, sometimes slipping down to press her clit against the clothed spur of Leliana's hip.

After some time Leliana reached back and abruptly pulled Morrigan's one leg higher up, grinding against it again. “Greedy little bard,” she teased, feeling Leliana shiver under her. A moment later she gasped as she was forced onto her side, both of them moving desperately against each other, until finally that sweet edge approached and Morrigan let herself fall, arching against Leliana as she rode through the orgasm, shivering as she slowly came down only to find Leliana still seeking her own finish. “That's right,” she whispered, “show me how much you've wanted this. Spill against me again. I want to hear you cry out my name as you come.”

“Morrigan,” she barely managed, sounding utterly shocked and needy as she jerked hard against Morrigan's thigh.

They laid tangled together while they slowly caught their breaths. Then Leliana rolled away with a giggle, Morrigan arching a brow. “Well. Maybe next time we’ll actually manage to get undressed first.” Now she smiled, too.

“That would be preferable, yes.”

[the-dye-stained-socialite]

A Study of Tattoos

@house-of-mirrors here's my fic for you for the @fallenlondonficswap! I hope you enjoy!

Rating: Teen

Word Count: 1,290

Summary: An academic has an encounter with a spy, and can never go back.

Contains: The great game, Judgements, tomb-colonists, the khanate, permadeath, and brief mentions of zailors and implied intimacy.

Ao3 Link

It has been weeks since I saw her.I was not supposed to open that door. She had been redressing, pulling her blouse back on when I noticed them. Dozens of tattoos covered every available inch of skin, some overlapping even, like the sketching book of a Bohemian who could not yet afford a fresh one. My mind has since become that sketchbook. They fascinate me. I look for tattoos everywhere I go now, hoping to catch a glimpse of more. Sometimes I do.

I have found out more. She was a surface runner. A spy. Staying in the Neath for as minimal time as possible so as to not die, and lose her usefulness. My accidental involvement with her has set off a chain reaction which I do not understand. A chain reaction which I must understand. Ripples have consequences. 

My final term is nearing an end. My professor, a demanding man who always oversees every minute detail, is demanding a long-form research project. I will choose the coding of tattoos to demonstrate my academic expertise.

***

I have made an error. Examples of spy tattoos are hard to find in full for one simple reason: It is vital that they be decoded only by the intended recipient. Even after one is put onto the body and then delivered, it may still be decoded by others to find out a plan. I had to figure out a method that would enable me to find these tattoos.

I bumbled around Wilmot’s End for near to a week. I would pin any spy I could recognize as such with conversation, like an amateur entomologist clumsily practicing on an abundant species. I realize, only now in the aftermath, the flaws in my method. At the time however, I was stumbling through, unseeing, blunt and broad in my brushstrokes.

I did not realize what would be the consequences of my actions. The game I was playing was not long enough. One of the spies began to spread such a storm of scandal that my own professor booked me a ticket to the Tomb-Colonies! As such, I leave today.

***

I have been here a week now, and made friends with a very old Colonist. They are dead now. I watched them crack open, like a cocoon made not of silk, but rather of dusty bandages. Before they died, however, I was permitted to see beneath those bandages. I had been explaining my thesis, and how my attempts at finding samples was what brought me here, when they told me they had something that might help. Indeed they did.

As part of my research, I had studied tattoos extensively. In addition to the time I spent in Wilmot’s End, I had also spent an entire week staking out Clathermont’s parlor, watching those who came and went. When the Colonist unraveled their wraps to show the aged parchment of their skin, I saw tattoos and symbology I had never come across before. I took very detailed drawings, noting everything from direction to color to location.

***

I am back at the University. The Colonies gave me the time and space to think. I took some gifted rags back with me. I wrap myself in them now, and keep a scytale of my notes. Depending on where I choose to wrap them, I can disguise many messages.

***

I have gone through the entire libraries of both Benthic and Summerset. They contain hardly anything about spycraft, and even less about what it looked like before the Fall of London. This place is hindering my research more than helping it. I will go back to the Tomb-Colonies, this time of my own volition. I tire of things happening without my understanding of how or why. I will learn, and I will grow.

One of my classmates is a pawn. He is clearly a spy, but he never operates of his own free will. Is there a way to, in this game? If so, I will find it. If not, I will become it.

***

Once more I am here among dust and moths. A Tomb-Colonist who reminded me of my Aunt spoke with me. I ended up asking her about older tattoo works. She pointed me across the Zee.

“There, in the Khanate. My granddaughter traveled there once. Its people are descendants of those who escaped that last fallen city.” She gave me some of her wrappings, to fill the gaps in my own. I thanked her.

I will spend the remainder of my time here, constructing a false identity with which I may enter the city.

***

I wonder. Was I pointed to the Khanate by chance? Am I still part of someone else’s schemes? Perhaps, like a puppet that resents the one who claims to be her master, I will take up a blade, sharp and precise, and slice off both blindfold and bindings in one neat cut.

***

My disguise is complete now. The Kindly Colonist had parting words for me.

“They will use every last part of you. Death, true death, will not be the end. They will use your memory to haunt and persuade others. They will use your tombstone as a dead drop. They will use your dying breath to pull in another. You cannot love or be loved. Travel safe, and if you do try to escape… Do not do it partway. You cannot have a foot in each world.”

She gave me a small cloth bag. There is a scrap of irrigo fabric inside, which causes a fog in my mind.

***

I have found a captain willing to zail my false identity East. I study the crew’s backs and shoulders, looking for ink.

***

My disguise has held so far. It is a good thing I have learned not to be reckless. My second day in port I saw a junior pawn removed by the White and Golds. I have a growing distaste for them. I played shatar for much of the day. Unlike London, tattoos are kept much more secret here.

***

I intercepted a message today. I danced with a charming woman all night long, and used our intimacy to make a study of her tattoos. The shapes themselves are smaller here, but still just as detailed. They know how to prolong usefulness. The symbols are different as well, though I see similarities reflected in the tattoos of the zailors who brought me here.

***

Last night I dreamt of a chessboard. I was clothed in ruby armor. A man in ivory approached me.

Once within arm’s reach, the world around me transformed into a glittering castle. I could see checkered fighting out of the windows.

Someone guarded him off to the side. He talked carefully and with precision, and explained many things. How he was interested in my development, how I moved across the board quickly for a mere pawn. How he had arranged all of this. His eyes were blue like snow as he dropped carelessly back onto his self-proclaimed throne.

His right hand twisted, and marionette strings tightened against my limbs. I grew furious. I did not want to be controlled. He was not allowed to manipulate my life.

He spoke of bleaching my ruby vestments, and his eyes gleamed. They glowed such a bright light, in fact, that it burned to look upon his shining throne.

My fury kept me grounded. I wanted nothing more than to snuff out that bright white light. I snapped my strings, and all at once, his castle folded and faded, like crumpled notes.

A man who reminded me of someone I once knew rushed up to me. His armor was deep ebony. I looked at my tattooed limbs, and saw that so was mine.

I woke up.

[gensokyogarden]

Okay, this is going to be a long post but. I've had a few sets of new ocs existing in my notes and the back of my mind for a bit. So consider this post an opportunity both for me to develop some basic details on them and to advertise them.

The main purpose of this post though, for me, is to gauge interest in different ideas to decide what to focus in on. It's possible I may wind up eventually adding all of these ocs, it may also be that I wind up never taking up any of them. Whatever the case it helps to know what y'all are into most.

Thus at the end of this post there's a poll to vote on who you're most interested in. There's no option on polls to allow folks to vote for more than one but if you're interested in more than one group and have multiple blogs feel free to vote more than once, since I'm looking at the number of votes gotten instead of just percent of votes.

Normally when I do a long post like this I prefer to stick a readmore on it. But polls can be finicky and I'm worried that will break it, so instead I'm going to just make this a long post and hope folks have that feature that reduces the size of long posts until you open 'em. If not, I'm sorry.

Anyways, onto talking about the ocs. I tend to do ocs in groups and that's particularly the case with 2hu ones, so they have been grouped into sections based on that. You don't need to read all of this but please take a look at whatever interests you and then give an answer on the poll please.

Also a disclaimer again: I am not a native Japanese speaker and only half understand Japanese naming conventions so very real possibility these names'll suck and be cringe/culturally inaccurate.

Second disclaimer: They're still in the idea stage so a lot of this, particularly face claims and names, are subject to potential change. In regards to face claims I actually challenged myself to only make use of icons from my collection, though I had to make an exception for the Akali icons since I had no one with a face mask among them.

Train to Gensokyo

Now this one is an idea I've partially talked about in the past. Of which I drummed up one of those posts here, which contains some more info.

The basic gist of this set is the idea of a ghost train from the outside world being brought into Gensokyo. The kind from folklore that travels and travels at midnight, never actually stopping at any stations. Forced to eternally wander. Though their arrival in Gensokyo finally allows them some rest.

Being a vehicle that existed a bit later (this particular train not all trains) than when Gensokyo closed its borders, much of the guests and staff of the train are "youkai" of a little more modern variety. Not exactly the ULoL sense but something similar. With The Ghost Train acting as a home to modern monsters and crytpids, like Teke-Teke.

I imagine that their arrival causes some incident (with Reimu, Marisa, Sakuya, and special guests Mamizou + Lunasa as my little headcanon incident resolvers) but that soon after they integrate into Gensokyo's community, providing a new and quicker form of travel.

Kurashiki (倉敷) Miharu (未時)

Face claim: Chain Sumeragi (Kekkai Sensen)

Ironically Miharu was the first character I envisioned when I started working on this project, not just the train section but those ocs in general, yet I haven't actually determined what kind of youkai she is. Presently, the idea I'm working with is that she is perhaps some form of dead human. The conductor of The Ghost Train before it became a, well, ghost train, that has become a spirit along with it.

Miharu's ability allows her and her train to always arrive on time. Through a tiny bit of time manipulation, The Ghost Train always reaches its destination exactly when it needs to. Though, despite this, Miharu is still quite neurotic about making sure it actually does travel with as few delays as possible. Mostly out of a fear of what may happen if it doesn't.

Other notes on Miharu are: that as a word pun she is a conductor (operates a train) and a conductor (leads an orchestra). With each of the other crew members of The Ghost Train operating some sort of makeshift musical instrument. As well as that, I like to imagine her as having some sort of history with Mamizou. Given Mamizou is also a recent arrival in Gensokyo and Tanuki being the enemies of trains in folklore.

When I created these characters I noted down the reasonings behind most their names, as you will see with the coming ones, but I lost the notes on Miharu and Reiko. What I can say, however, is that Kurashiki comes from Zero Escape: 999, as that happens to be a personal favorite of mine.

In the Ghost Train Incident, Miharu is the Stage six boss.

Zantetsu (斬鉄) Reiko (麗心)

Face Claim: Chise Hatori (Ancient Magus Bride)

Reiko is a teke-teke. A vengeful spirit of a girl killed by a train, split in half, whose upper body now drags itself along the ground. The remains of her lower half making a scratchy teke-teke sound as they scrape against the floor. A scythe wielded in her hand as she seeks out victims to steal their legs.

Of course this teke-teke, as with a lot of youkai in Gensokyo, is a tad bit chiller than how she exists in folklore. As with much of the staff of the Ghost Train, Reiko was once simply a passenger aboard the train. One who chose to take up a role as a crew member. Reiko takes the role of porter, loading and unloading the luggage of the train's rare passenger. This may sound difficult given that she drags along the ground, but remember that basically everyone in Touhou can fly.

Reiko has the ability to protect an object. So long as she is holding it within her hands, an object of her choice cannot be damaged. She uses this to make certain luggage makes it to the proper hub of the train.

In the train's makeshift band, Reiko uses her scythe and lower bones as a set of instruments to scrape along a metal surface.

As I noted above, Reiko is the other one that I lost the notes on the name origin of. But the name Reiko is a reference to the name often given to the girl of the actual Teke Teke legend (Kashima Reiko).

Reiko is the Ghost Train Incident's Stage 1 Midboss.

Hasami (八社宮) Hanako (はなこ)

Face Claim: Akali (League of Legends) [Akali is fine but I mostly chose her because I don't know many characters with masks, so of all the face claims this is the most likely to change]

Hanako is the stewardess of the Ghost Train and a Kuschisake-Onna. A vengeful spirit with a split mouth that gives similar injury to those that she encounters. Of course, just like with Reiko, Hanako is chiller than the average Kuchisake-onna. Working peacefully on the train.

Though, it should be noted, she almost never removes her mask, even around her coworkers. Hanako is actually quite self-conscious about the look. Owing to the fact that the Ksuchisake-onna in legends can be distracted with hard candy, she has a major sweet tooth and sometimes winds up snacking on the candy that passengers order before getting it to them.

Hanako has the ability to duplicate herself within the Ghost Train. Or to put it another way, to exist at multiple points within the train at once. This ability does not function outside of the train (though the original her may be off the train while her duplicates continue to exist within) but allows for a far greater convience of service than what one woman normally could provide.

Family name Hasami is a gag as Hasami (八社宮) is a name but Hasami (はさみ) is the word for scissors. The first name is made of meaningless katakana but contains the first kana of scissors.

Hanako is the Stage 1 boss of the Ghost Train Incident.

Animal House

Alright listen. I like Mafia and Yakuza stories. Be it something like the Godfather (I read the novel for the first time back in highschool), Goodfellas, or the Like a Dragon Franchise, or even the occasional triad story from Hong Kong action films. Suffice to say I've got a real soft spot for crime families.

I also really like Toutetsu Yuuma. Who happens to be the head of an entire criminal alliance in the Animal Realm. One that we've seen no member of besides herself (unless we count the eagle spirits).

Owing to these two facts I wanted to design some underlings for her. To give her more people to bounce off of besides her enemies and to do fun criminal stuff with. Now within the Animal Realm Yuuma's alliance is specifically known for their aerial power. They're also from the Animal Realm, you know for animals. For those reasons I tried to design Youkai that fit two critea:

-Were an animal or something animal themed

-Were a flying creature (granted again everyone in Touhou can fly but I think ya get what I mean).

Given that Yuuma canonically prefers to handle things herself, her underlings have been left sitting on the sidelines during most of the events of canon. But with Yuuka's priorities elsewhere they've now found a bit more responsibility dropped on their shoulders.

And just to get it out of the way lets end this with the note that, because I'm like that, each of the ocs in this group share a surname with a Like A Dragon/Yakuza antagonist. Doesn't necessarily mean they have anything to do with one another.

Mine (峯) Honoka (火佳): Junior Chairwoman of the Gouyouki Alliance

Face claim: KK (Kekkai Sensen)

Ah the mythical Kirin (or Qilin). Just as Yuuma's own beast, a Taotie, has its roots in Chinese monsters so too does her second in command. Now a Kirin is a dragon-deer or unicorn esque mythical beast said to run through the sky by flying. One that's appearance is generally said to mark either the birth or death of a great leader or philospher.

In the case of Honoka she arrived in the Animal Realm shortly before Toutetsu Yuuma herself. Being herald to her own coming to power. The pair have worked together for quite some time since then, with Honoka being an informal second in command of the Gouyoku Alliance. With Yuuma preoccupied with the lake of blood/oil, Honoka has been doing most of the actual management of their family.

Unlike her superior, she is stoic and not one for talking. Preferring listening or action. While Yuuma has a tendency to disarm her opponents with words, talking them into joining her side, Honoka would really prefer to just beat them into submission. Yet, outside of a brawl, she is slow to act. Considering every option for far longer than necessary before making a decision.

Honoka has the ability to call upon Fire and Lightning (or more particularly the elements of fire and air). The most unique application of their abilities is to copy the properties of the others. Flames that arc as lightning does and lightning that creeps up objects like a flame.

The Mine part is, of course, a reference to the character of Yakuza with a Kirin as a tattoo and the best theme in the franchise. Honoka I chose because I just happen to think it's a beautiful name but the kanji of it refers to her fire based abilities.

Goda (郷田) Misora (水天): Chairwoman of the Goda Clan

Faceclaim: Shiro (Deadman Wonderland)

Tentomushi or ladybugs. An insect that I like and happen to think have a really rad name. It just so happens that in all my research I could not find any ladybug youkai, so Misora is just a youkai who was once a ladybug. What I do know is that Ladybugs happen to be symbols of good luck.

This plays into Misora's Ability. She is able to manipulate the luck of those around her in two ways. Taking in the fortune of others, granting herself good fortune and others misfortune or taking in the misfortune of others, granting herself misfortune and others good fortune. Don't put her in a room with Shion and Tenshi, she'll die.

Misora is also prone to violence as a solution but unlike Honoka it is not a matter of choosing violence after much contemplation. She's ready to fight at all times and believes the Gou-Alliance should just stomp out all the other families within the Animal Realm. Her boldness and lack of thought has made her an annoying rival for power within the Alliance. While everyone within it looks up to and respects Yuuma, those beneath her are not so equal. With troops being split between both figures.

Now Yakuza does not have a character with a ladybug tattoo. Instead I just went with the family name of one of my favorite antagonists of the franchise. On the other hand Misora's name contains the kanji for water, meant to denote a rivalry with Honoka.

Katsuya (勝矢) Chidori (千鳥): Chairwoman of the Katsuya family

Face Claim: Medaka (Medaka Box)

Chidori is an Aosagibi. A type of youkai born from a heron that has lived long enough to become a youkai. Their scales fusing together to form a shiny and iridescent armor. Like Honoka and Misora Chidori is also a major figure within the alliance. Unlike the two of them she is aloof and silent. Choosing to simply observe without interaction. This gives her a mysterious air

But the reality is she's just incredibly shy and doesn't know what to say. She's managed to get to this position mostly from a series of flukes and climbing the ranks with time. She really doesn't like talking in front of people, particularly as a leader, and would prefer that the others just manage it on their own. Though their rivals perceive her as some form of cunning trickster.

Chidori has the ability to produce false light. Those that face her in battle are beset by series of strange balls of harmless light that resemble her actual danmaku. Making it difficult to distinguish actual attacks from random tricks.

Katsuya, again, comes from a Yakuza boss. In this case one from 5 who just so happens to have a crane tattoo ... or a heron ... I mix those two birds up. Anyways Chidori, on the other hand, contains the kanji for birds but I also kinda picked it because the attack from Naruto kind of reminds me of how an Aosagibi apparently looks.

The Robot Masters

This idea was partially inspired, I believe, by my friend Sethy when I discussed wanting to create an oc with an interest more vested in science and specifically robotics.

Katsume (勝目) Light

Face Claim: Xan Audupon (Sennen Meikyuu no Nana Ouji)

A blind hag/magician dwelling upon the mountains of Gensokyo. Light has caught glimpses of the outside world and developed a fascination in the field of robotics. Dreaming of being able to create actual automaton and golems within Gensokyo. ... Yet the sad reality is that they have not been able to accomplish this goal, yet.

Much like how Alice relies on magic to puppet her dolls, Light relies on their own magic to control their automatons. Really nothing more than steel or iron puppets with some gears in them at this point. Though Light has partnered with some kappa for the sake of creating real androids their work has, as of yet, been unsuccessful.

They have the ability to percieve the spiritual. Light is blind and unable to see anything within the physical world, however, when they do open them they become able to see that which is spiritual. Be it the aura of those with magical power, magically invisible beings, or those with a spiritual existence such as Mima. This ability can also be used to place a part of their own spirit within an object in order to see spirits through it. Notably their fake automatons for the sake of enhancing their manipulation of it.

The name Katsume contains the kanji for "win" and "eyes" referring to their eye based ability. On the other hand Light is a double reference to the Megaman scientist Doctor Light and to the character of Snake (real name Light) from ZTD.

Kanagawa (銑川) Yusa (優作)

Face Claim: Lee go Seul (Girls of the Wild)

One of the kappa that works with Light. One could almost call her their henchman. Yusa, like most kappa, is great with technology. Specifically iron working and soldering. She works to design the bodies of their false robots. Though the actual programming and wiring are skills she's far less competent with.

When their machines are not being controlled by Light's magic, it is normally Yusa who is controlling them. Mainly through the use of remote control ... controls. Like most kappa, Yusa is rather shy, yet she manages to get along well enough with Light. Having a deep respect for the hag.

Yusa's ability ... I have not figured out yet.

Kangawa has the kanji for iron and the kanji for river. Perfect for a kappa that's working with robotics. Yusa contains the kanji for "Create" and "superior". Originally her name was going to be Sakura (also from create) but I feared it was too close to Sakuya and could get annoying.

The Village People

Alright, now this one is a bit different in that we're not getting youkai. I thought it'd be fun to design some villager ocs. You know to have some fairly normal folks wandering around Gensokyo.

Now, just as a note here, I have given them abilities. My reason for doing so is because just about every named character in Touhou has one, even an "Average" person like Kosuzu. So I thought they'd stand out without them. Also designing weird minor abilities is fun, ya know.

Uruno (沾野) Kaname (火奈芽)

Face Claim: Agatsuma Soubi (Loveless)

Kaname is the current head of the Uruno family. A family within the human village that has farmed and sold tobacco within Gensokyo for the last century and a half now. Establishing their business just slightly before the border was closed. In theory they've grown and sold tobacco for the village but now that a few youkai have started smoking, the Uruno clan may have started setting some aside for other business.

Given their profitable trade, Kaname has been able to get by with a fairly comfortable life. The labor of farming the tobacco is tough but he gets to live in one of the nicer houses of the village without fear of wondering if he'll be able to eat come winter. So all and all he is content with his current lot in life.

... Mostly content. The truth is this all has started to become boring and he's developed somewhat of a wanderlust. A wanderlust that seems to be drawing him more and more to the youkai mountain for their gambling parlor. Not that he'd allow anyone in the village to know that's where he has been slipping off to.

Kaname has the ability to ... become dry. When he or his clothing are wet, he is able to instantly dry either with nothing more than a brief thought. He really doesn't understand how it works but he doesn't mind not knowing.

Uruno contains the kanji for "to wet" and "field" which I thought fit well for a farming family. For the name "Kaname", initially I wanted something with kanji that made reference to smoke. There are ... few names that contain a kanji for that and I was not a fan of any. So I decided to go with fire because where there's smoke. Anyways the first one kanji is fire, the others make reference to a tree sprouting fruit. Not quite tobacco but.

Okita (沖田) Muyumi (武弓) Fujiwara (藤原) no Gin (銀).

Face claim: Touko Hourai

A distant cousin of the more famed Okita Souji and a long time descendant of the Fujiwara clan (making her vaguely related to Mokou), Muyumi is a samurai by birth. Well, wait. You may be noticing. Japan's samurai caste was abolished before Gensokyo was sealed off from the world. Yes, that is true, but this is a detail kept well concealed by Muyumi's ancestors. Who have propagated the idea that noble samurai such as themselves are very much still a thing within Japan.

As a samurai she has been trained in warfare with the bow, sword, and flintlock. A true warrior and defender of the village's noble caste. Well ... except for the fact that the real defenders of Gensokyo are the incident resolvers, which she is notably weaker than. Meaning that Muyumi is really nothing more than a glorified bodyguard for the elite of Gensokyo ... but she's really been trying hard to convince herself that she's not, that she's more than that.

Muyumi has the ability to memorize poetry. Once she has heard or read a poem she will not forget it and she is able to understand the proper rhythm to recite it just from her reading. Though ... she's absolutely horrendous at creating poems herself.

Okita is, obviously given her lore, taken from the famous Shinsegumi. The Okita clan is descended from the historic Fujiwara clan and, much like the much more famous Okita, this is represented in Muyumi's rarely used full name. Fujiwara no Gin (Fujiwara of Silver) is a pun on the actual Okita Souji's Fujiwara no Kaneyoshi (Fujiwara of Gold)

Masamura (正村) Masafumi (将史)

Face Claim: Asaki Minami (Stigmata)

Masamura's clan could be counted among the elite artisans within Gensokyo's human village. Being the only child of the village's doctor and blacksmith of the previous generation, he found an apprenticeship in both thrust upon him. Difficult work but hey doctors used to also be barbers, who said you can't doctor and smith.

The last many years of his life were spend providing both services for the people of the village from his house on the outskirts. Supposedly he's not much of a people's person, hence his dwelling there, though that was not the only reason. Having some sympathy for them, he also offered his medical services to youkai in the dead of the night. After all, he swore to treat the injured, regardless of who they were. A youkai with a horrid cut? That's as much an injury as a human's.

Just ... the thing is that after some time Eirin made her presence known. Eirin, with her ability and centuries of experience, being the notably superior doctor. Though humans did not always wish to trek to see her, and seeing as Reisen only delivered medicine from times to time, Masafumi still had work but it was greatly reduced.

At least he could still blacksmith. A skill that he taught to a sad youkai who seemed without a purpose. Though, she would soon surpass him in ability, providing her services to those that were willing to hire a youkai. Leaving Masafumi again with a reduced amount of customers.

He still can find work, it's not like the poor man is jobless, but with every year in Gensokyo it seems there is less and less for him. As a result he's taken mostly to reading. He has a bit of an interest in old tomes and the study of youkai, meaning he rents books from Kosuzu quite often. Aside from that, however, Masafumi rarely leaves his home anymore. Being something of a hermit (the non magic kind).

He has the ability to hold his breath for an entire 15 minutes.

Masamura uses the kanji of "regular" and "village." The kanji of Masafumi come from the kanji for "lead" and for "book." Which I thought were fitting for a tired but well educated dude. All together they're meant to paint the image of someone plain while also having a fun bit of alliteration.

Sugar Saccharine

Face claim: Clover (Zero Escape Franchise)

Alrigh, the last one, and this one gets a section all to herself. Sugar is a flesh eating youkai just like a certain Rumia. In fact, though I'm cautious on how much I'll say, she and the Rumia of this blog have quite a bit of history together. With Sugar having been the reason for why Rumia is presently stuck in a regenerative weakened state.

Sugar, for her part, has not been around for a long time. Being buried in a sarcophagus beneath the Hill of the Nameless. Something that Medicine has inadvertedly become a perfect guard for. But, you know, when you seal something away in Gensokyo it's only a matter of time before someone does something stupid and lets them out.

... And people have been having strange dreams lately. The kind that make them feel, for some reason, like they need to go to that hill and start digging. But it's probably just a coincidence.

Sugar has the ability to manipulate souls. Well, I wonder what that could mean?

Poll

Alright with all that out of the way (I hope you didn't read all of this it was a lot, but if you did I thank you for putting time in to check out my ideas). Here's a poll to see who you're more interested in. As I said at the top, if you like more than one idea and have more than one blog you're free to vote more than once.

[catra-writes]

grief.

grief for those ive lost, grief for the person i couldnt be and for the person i used to be, grief for those ive hurt and couldnt help grief for pain i caused myself for damage i caused for damage i couldnt fix. grief for things that never happened, for what could have been had i tried a little harder let a lone tried at all, had i said something for once. grief for the words i left unspoken and now will never know what impact they could have had, for what impact i could have had. i feel grief for so much, the people who left my life, the lives i left, the relationships i ended, the relationships i let slip through my fingers, the things that could have been more happy memories, the memories that turned sour. the pets i lost and no longer have, the things i neglected to care for.

i feel so much grief for things that were both in and out of my control, i dont want to feel more grief but i know this will never go away, i'll always have "sad for what could have and what ifs" moments, i'll always feel a pit in my stomach for choices i made or didnt make, that wont change. grief never goes away for a survivor of disasters, even if on the outside it doesnt seem all that disastrous.

2. mind control

a mind under control, something people think i've had all my life but in reality i never have nor could i gain it. not where i am right now. i have people still in my life controlling me, poisoning my mind with more doubts and fears and insecurities, more guilt and blame and things i cant change until im finally gone from here. my mind is under the control of seeds of doubt and anxieties planted by my abusers since i was a mere child, things i cant uproot when theyre still being watered on the daily.

i cant free myself of the mind control unless i have help choking the weeds out, until then im stuck under the thumb of voices and chains belonging to those who've hurt me to the point im convinced im beyond repair, to people i believe i have no choice but to rely on or else i cant function because thats what they want in my head.

3. betrayal

a feeling im all to damn familiar with. many of my relationships ended because of a backstab, a switch of sides. im all to familiar with the feeling of gut wrenching pain, my heart dropping to the pit in my stomach as the person i thought had my back turns and dives a sword through it. ive had my heart taken and smashed to bits but a betrayal too many times to count. whether its an ex partner or a friend, even a family member, i know the feeling all too well.

betrayal as someone i loved sided with an abuser, betrayal as someone leaves me for better or worse. i may not have absolutely felt it all but i have felt it enough.

4. jealousy.

jealous when even though we're both poly my partner gives or receives attention and affection from/to someone else, jealous when my siblings are clearly treated better than i am, jealous when people are chosen over me, jealous when people receive or give things to others and i once again get little to nothing.

i hate jealousy, it feels unfair and selfish but at the same time its justified. with all i have gone through, gotten and lacked through my life i have a right to be jealous. i get jealous and i need to admit it to myself, i get jealous and i need t let myself be.

5. cursed.

some could say i have been, maybe even that i brought it on myself. for many reasons, and they could be right. but ive been cursed in the other way, cursed out by the family i no longer what to associate myself with because they have it in their heads that im wrong and always doing wrong. cursed by those who believe i was born wrong and dont deserve to have or be right. cursed out because i dont fit in someones box so to them i deserve to be called slurs and become their verbal punching bag.

iv'e been cursed by the world to live in a body im uncomfortable with, to be a person i can only pretend to love.

6. unrequited love.

one sided love, often the reason for a lot of the relationships i ended myself romantic or otherwise. and it hurts both ways to realize that. the person i'd though i loved the same way having to get their heart broken when i realize i never did, or the person i though loved me back turning out to be a liar and a user.

i dont feel love or fall in love often, not because im too hurt and broken to want to anymore but just because thats the way i am, influenced by the damage or not. and when i do, a lot of times it turned out to be unrequited, ive given up on searching for and making new attachments, because i no longer see or feel the need to try.

7. forgotten.

being forgotten and forgetting, some of my greatest fears. i fear constantly of what i've forgotten, if maybe it was important or dangerous and remembering it could bring more pain or that i forgot something and in turn caused someone else pain. i fear that i'll be forgotten, my name and face and very being gone from all memory, no one knowing who i am, leaving me in the dust. i fear i'll forget myself, if i cant remember who i am, if others forget me, what do i do? what do i become? and im terrified that without memory i wont exist, im terrified to find out what that would be like if it were ever to happen and im terrified that the truth really is that thats going to be a good thing in the end.

ive forgotten so much already, names, faces, people, items, dates, events, very pieces of myself even. im so terrified of anymore being forgotten. by myself or anyone else.

8. terminal disease

i cant say i have one, but i can ay it often feels like it with the physical, emotional and mental anguish and debilitating pain i constantly carry with me. every movement, every word, every energy spent makes me feel just a little weaker. i'll have highs then i'll crash just a little lower ever time. it doesnt feel like it'll ever go away, ever fully heal, like i'll never recover, at least not to full. it'll keep going down, going backwards, no matter how many times or how far it climbs back up, like gravity it always goes back down. you cant take a leap without landing.

9. neglected.

ive been neglected by my parents growing up, things that should have been taught and given to be i either got very little of, never got at all and/or watched/heard others receive instead. i missed out on the support from a parent telling me it was okay to cry let alone feel, that it was okay to make mistakes, that it was okay for accidents to happen and that it was okay to ask for help, to be honest and admit and own up to things. i missed out on a parent being there when i needed it, i missed out on a parent trying genuinely to understand. instead i got nothing, i got yelled at or i got shamed.

if another adult dared give me any of that i cried or got angry and confused or scared. i missed out on proper help from adults growing up, only learning when it was to late that i had options i could have used to get further.

i grew up being sidelined and hardly even being given the bare minimum. so when im included, when im cared for, when im given even the bare minimum, i dont know what to do, i cry,i feel guilty, im convinced im less than deserving, im unfamiliar with it, i dont know how to process it.

10. ghost.

ive had my fair share of ghosts, still do, often times i was one, still am one. ghosts in the sense of haunting words and memories, ghosts in the sense of overwhelming bottled up guilt, ghosts in the sense that ive been conditioned to carry what i really dont deserve. a ghost in the sense that im invisible, a ghost in the sense that i get ignored and over looked or brushed off, a ghost in the sense that people see and have seen me as nothing more than a fleeting piece of the past.

im here, im rarely seen or heard, i have constant phrases said by others swimming in my head, constant pressure placed on my shoulder like a manipulative parent placing their hand on my and telling me whats expected of me and giving me false hope that i could ever be enough for them, false hope that they care when at the same time they push me to the back, shove me to the side and favour others over me.

ive been a ghost, haunted by the ghosts of others and their words and actions all my life.

[rubyreddragon]

Act Like You’ve Never Seen A Moggie

Chapter 2 Scars Kept Unattended 

Everything was extremely hazy… I remember the shouting of soldiers both on my side and against me. I remember hearing Viper over the radio, screaming for a medic for Sips. Who previously had been shot in the upper arm and was losing blood extremely quickly. Then quiet as the helicopter started to ascend to my rendezvous location, as quick as it went into the air the piercing light took over my scope and eyes like a flashbang then the sound around my ruptured. When I came to and looked through my scope though I saw it… The bright flames scorching the helicopter flipping in the air as it falls cascading down in a spiral. It hits the ground as the sound finally fills my ears a deafening crackle then BOOM follows in tandem. I called out on my radio but everything stayed silent. I panicked and rushed to the crash site only to find 4 corpses- I say corpses but in actuality they were only skeletons burned and charred skin attached to them. It was horrifying, borderline traumatic.. To see the group that I had been with since joining the military be murdered. In their own evacuation helicopter, then it hit me as I walked around the burning pile of ash flame metal and human remains I gathered the shark teeth from my teammates and their dog tags- though barely recognizable and sat there watching their bodies burn. My body had gone numb by the time I reached the site, all emotion was dragged out on the way down till now just a numb feeling overwhelmed my sense to where I couldn’t even see or hear the swarm of soldiers zeroing in on my location. Till I was knocked out. I remember waking up to sharp pains everywhere from my scalp to my toes. When I came to, I could feel and taste the irony liquid filling my mouth, Blood. I started to hack and cough to get the dreadful taste out of my mouth to no avail my mouth was clamped open with 4 rusted metal hooks while my hands and feet where no different my right leg having a hook driven straight through my ankle while my left going through the palm of my foot and the hooks on my hands one going through the wrist and one through the hand. ‘Show No Weakness’ a fellow who served once told me, but how do I show I am not afraid when I am being hooked like a boar they had just caught. A man in a white suit came over- I say it was white in reality it was stained. Stained with blood, I am assuming none is his own. I remember the words he said to me “You serve a pig, you shall look like one when we are through” as he flipped the rusted knife in his pocket out and tightened the grip he has on it he brought the blade to the corners of my lips slowly applying pressure. There is a camera directed at me and in the lens reflection I can see it, the hideous face I was given a giant smile coming from my lips to the middle of my ear, my nose broken, the blood pooling into my mouth. As he turned my face I could see my teeth as my cheek was fully open and exposed. I blacked out after that, not waking up till I was chained in a cage. As the man walked up to the cage he smiled wickedly “I hope you enjoy becoming food for the creatures that crawl in this desert they hunger just as we of course” and left. The sun bore into my back for days till I broke my hands to free myself, learning that I was not going to be saved was the easy part, not giving in to the willing arms of death was the hard part. I eventually got out by using the shark teeth as lock picking devices. I walked for days using cactus as a water and food source growing numb to the ache of needles being in my skin as I continue to grog my way through this wasteland. I obtained a friend on my way. A small Magpie had been left out by its family so I decided to help it, if anything it could eat me after I died for a long while. I couldn't talk anymore due to the fact of my mouth throat and lungs growing raw from the constants of sand being blown into it my tongue being split and my uvula basically dissipated since the sands brutal attacks, as I began coming up on a large wall I realized this could be my ticket out of this hell hole. I buckled down and continued to walk, though now making a much faster haste than the previous. An officer saw me and rounded me up, I don’t remember much after that though.

-- Present--

I can hear the helicopter buzz as it jerks to a soft landing as I stand and collect my things, Soldiers filing past me as I haul my Tac-50 over my shoulder and grab my duffle bag swinging it almost hitting one of the soldiers walking past me with my free hand I readjust my goggles and Mask making sure the voice modifier is on so I will be audible enough to be legible… still breathing. I walk out to be met with the face of the captain himself Captain John Price the one who had made the call to Laswell for my arrival. I noticed no other soldier walked to him all going to a variety of different areas seemingly having already been given orders. ‘Fuckin’ Robots if ya ask me’ I mumble under my breath as I walk over to Price looking up at his eyes I spot in the distance about 6 to 7 men walking towards us. “Lynx reporting Captain Price,Sir.” I let out in the best ‘I swear I am focused on this task voice I can muster. How could I pay attention though when I saw people wearing masks just like me on this team. “ Got yourself a team of mismatched bandits and roughians I see Captain.” I let out a huff as he chuckles “You yourself added now, hope it was a good flight soldier.” He starts to walk off to the group now seeing them closer as I follow Price. Two people wore masks like me though one full faced with a skull sewn on ‘wonder if its real...’, while the other having his hair out still, another sat with a ballcap on looking down at a tablet seemingly looking over notes for their next mission. Then the one with the mohawk who has been watching me like a hawk gitty to pounce on its prey or a dog with a new toy. He was the first to greet himself, his name was Soap, kind of stupid if you ask me but hey who am I to judge. Next was the second masked guy, his hair bouncing slightly as he got up from his seat to shake hands with me introducing himself as KillSwitch, K.S. for short, next was the ballcap guy who is called Gaz and 2 mexican special force operatives named Alejandro and Rudolpho otherwise called Rudy, and finally the big masked man. All he said was Ghost as he stared down at me with an intensity that screamed ‘you don't belong here’ borderline territorial, but I had gotten it enough from my brother growing up so I was fine with the look after chatting a small bit my voice and throat started to burn and I signed to Price asking if I can be brought to my room. Seeing the puzzled look on his face made me realize Laswell forgot to mention my voice. Till KS chimed in before I could get a word out “ She wants to go to her room sir, says…. Her voice hurts?” He looks puzzled as I explain it through ASL “She has a severely damaged throat that makes it difficult to talk for long periods of time, I can show her to the rooms sir I know you need to inform Laswell of her arrival.” Price nods with a sigh and hands the keys to KS as they both begin walking. They talk through sign L:‘Didn’t think anyone would know sign in this place’ K:‘yea I was taught by my neighbors, lucky you hmm’ Lynx just nods and continues walking till they reach the door. 

Log 728 ‘.141.’

New beginnings....

-Lynx

[missyeon]

disc one; attractive. 03/14.

in my tender youth, i held a firm belief,

that “conventionally attractive” is what i would never be,

in an era of social media’s reign,

unrealistic beauty standards brought me nothing but pain.

no matter how hard i fought and tried to break free,

i found myself being confined and categorised relentlessly,

others’ expectations weighed heavy on my soul,

and longing for perfection finally took its toll.

yearning for slenderness, my body to refine,

makeup and blemish-free skin, i did pine.

seeking graceful speech and feminine allure,

dreaming of an ideal self, that i could not procure.

yet customization eludes my mortal frame,

i am a teenage girl in an adult’s domain,

living in a world so deeply flawed,

where looks and sounds determine our applaud.

a world that hails a certain appearance and grace,

where poverty breeds fear, a lower place,

the wealthy, deemed elite, need not fret,

for betrayal and deceit are the threats that they seldom get.

we preach lofty ideals but rarely comply,

may i ask when we will open our blinded eyes?

may i implore—may i beseech?

let us wake from our slumber, so that this truth will reach.

you say you can hear my words,

and yet you continue to look away,

you make all of these empty claims,

and then leave me to be bound up by rusting chains.

this place is not where i belong,

not when we are incapable of getting along.

why can’t we just find a moment of clarity,

and escape this seemingly intoxicated reality?

divider by @pommecita 🪽

[cassandrajoybellbittner]

Taken - Blue Moon Series - Chapter 13a

*Warning Adult Content*

Lakota Bateman

I remember the cold surrounding my frail little body.

How the chains rattled with every little move I made.

I was held upright on the cold wall as the silver stung my wrist and ankles.

I didn't know why they hurt so much, I hadn't turned yet.

The slow rhythmic sound of heels clicking against the stone floor was forever echoing in my skull.

Closing my eyes I prayed for whatever was to come to already be over.

I couldn't stand it anymore.

The pain and suffering of my life had to end somewhere... I just knew it but when?

How?

"How's my little mutt doing today?" the smooth sound of her voice caused a shiver to run down my spine.

I just want to be left alone.

Set free.

Her gloved hand grabbed my chin roughly, forcing me to look up at her.

The moment our eyes met I couldn't help the glare I gave her.

"Oh, what a scary look pet," she tisked.

Whack.

Her hand came fast and hard across my face and I jerked with it, my body swing from the force in the chains.

"Have more respect for your owners, dog," she snapped through her clenched teeth.

Blood soon filled my mouth but all I did was stare at her.

Sadly, I was used to this treatment.

The whole reason I have been chain to the wall for weeks now because I accidentally spilled water on the mistress's pants when I tripped.

"I'm a bit hungr,y pet. Let's have a snack," she smiled sadistically.

This caused a skip in my heart.

"Please," I begged, using my scratchy unused voice for the first time in weeks.

The screams, I've made since being locked in here, has made my throat permanently raw now.

"Ah, ah, ah," she ticked her finger at me, as she brought her hand up to her mouth and bit down on her gloved finger.

Nipping the tip of the fabric and pulled it off revealing her pale hand.

I started panting in terror.

"No, please."

"Shh."

Slowly her hand inched closer and closer to me and I could do nothing to stop it.

Then she touched my bare chest.

And a raspy scream left my mouth as my body seized with excruciating pain.

"Yes."

********

"No." I shot up from bed.

"Shh," someone was hugging me close.

I tried to jerk away, no more I didn't want to be in pain anymore.

"No, please don't touch me anymore," I heaved, unaware of where I was.

"Lakota calm down, you're alright. You're safe."

My struggling slowly stopped as the voice registered in my ears.

Quickly I glanced up to find Gale's silver eyes staring down at me.

"Hey there, you're finally awake. I looked everywhere for you today."

His large warm hand was caressing down my hair, combing his fingers through the strands.

"After what happened earlier I wanted to see how you were doing and I found you fast asleep."

Frowning I glanced around me and did indeed find myself in my room.

"You want to talk about it?" Gale asked suddenly and I cringed.

"I really don't."

"Okay."

"Where is Cyrus?"

"Why? Am I not good enough?" he cried and I snapped my gaze towards him only to see him smiling down at me playfully.

"He told me that he was going to go out for a run a while ago after checking up on you."

"Oh, I see."

I was angry at how I sounded so dejected.

It wasn't Cyrus's fault that I lost my wolf.

I shouldn't be so jealous about it.

"You're not okay. I can see that Lakota," Gale said suddenly and I looked up at him.

His hands reached out towards mine.

Gripping them tightly between his.

The warmth of his hands was surprising, thawing the ice from my skin.

"Tell me what you need, Lakota. Please."

His brown eyes pleading.

"Need?" I questioned silently.

"Yes, tell me what you need from me to make things better."

Better? Was there a way to make me feel better?

If there was, I wouldn't know what it was.

I no longer had my wolf... I was having horrendous flashbacks of the Syrins, my long lost parents and one of my mate's father was going to start a war, dragging the Sky Raven pack along for the ride with him.

If anything, instead of thinking about getting better... I'm sure that I felt like my head was going to explode soon.

"Lakota?"

My chin was softly lifted up by his finger... I had no choice but to look into his eyes.

Like always I was instantly lost in those deep brown depths.

"Talk to me."

"I can't," I whispered.

"Yes you can."

"No, Gale because if I do I don't think I'll be able to hold myself together again. I'll fall apart," I confessed.

He sighed then, lowering his head till his cheek rested against mine.

I closed my eyes from the feeling of his skin.

"Then I'll be here to put you together again. Fall apart Lakota. Scream, cry, rage. No matter how you feel, where those feelings take you, I'll be there for you. Right next to you every angry, sad, agonizing step of the way if that's what it takes," his words were hard, like a bulldozer to my heart and soft.

Every wall that he tore down would be mended with delicate care.

"There's pain so deep in your heart you have no idea what to do with it Lakota. I can feel it. I can see it in your beautiful golden eyes."

So that finger he had holding my chin, moved upwards.

His fingers gently traveling up my face.

My heart stopped with every gentle caress till I was just a mess of feelings in his hand.

My head tilted towards his touch.

I felt him move his face away from mine to get a good look at the disgraceful display I was giving him.

"Let me have your passions, Lakot," there he goes again, with that stupid nickname, he's given me.

"Give me your all, baby," he whispered.

"Gale," I whimpered as his fingers continued to travel down my cheek and through my hair, finally resting on the back of my nape.

"Show me your worst, show me your best. That's what I'm here for. I'm here to love all of you no matter what."

No one prepared me for this.

I didn't know what to feel... I didn't know how to feel it.

But Gale didn't care how it came as long as it came to him.

As long as I shared it with him.

Gripping his shirt in my hands I bit my lip hard.

I didn't know what was going to come out but all I knew was that it was not going to be pretty.

"Let it go, Lakota," he breathed in my ear wrapping his arms around me.

And I did.

With clenched teeth I yanked him close to me by his shirt, burying my head into his shoulder and screamed.

I screamed out the pain, the loneliness, the agony, the betrayals and the emptiness I felt.

A lifetime of misery and anguish.

Then it hit me.

A question I asked myself so many times before.

'Was life even worth all this suffering? What was the point.' What was the point in living if you only know pain?'

[loveinthevalley]

Chapter 1

The gentle warmth of sunlight on my face was the thing to wake me up. I took a deep breath and stretched the blanket above my head in an attempt to shield myself from the offending glare. The soft down was immediately unfamiliar. This wasn’t the cheap Amazon blanket I was used to. I snapped up with a gasp and darted my eyes around the room.

Where the fuck am I.

I was surrounded by quaint cabin walls and a window with wooden blinds to my left. The room was rather spacious with nothing but a wardrobe and nightstand with a blue vase containing yellow flowers. If this was a kidnapping, I supposed the accommodations could be worse. I took note that my wrists and ankles were, in fact, free and I was not chained up. 

I took one more glance around the room trying to steady my thoughts and quietly look for clues. My eyes locked onto something poking out of the arrangement next to me. Embedded in the flowers appeared to be a card. My heart began to pick up speed again as I reached for the small piece of paper expecting some Jigsaw-esque instructions and an explanation as to why I was there. What I found was almost worse as it explained absolutely nothing: written in delicate cursive on blank cardstock were the words, “Welcome to the Valley!

The valley? What valley? As in San Fernando? Had someone kidnapped me and brought me to California? How the hell did I sleep through being dragged halfway across the country?! I listened carefully to check if I could hear anything in the house. I held my breath for what felt like minutes before I finally determined there was nothing but the birds outside the window. Whoever had done this to me certainly felt comfortable enough to leave me alone

I let my legs fall over the side of the bed and carefully pressed my bare feet against the wood floor. There was a creak and I hesitated, once again listening for anyone who might have heard. Once I felt safe, I stood up and tentatively approached the window and proceeded to open the blinds.

It certainly seemed like I was in the middle of nowhere. The sun was up but still relatively low. It must have been around 8:00 in the morning. The sunlight streamed through a smattering of trees, but just beyond them, I could make out a dirt road leading into the distance. This certainly didn’t look like California, but if it was it would be in bum-fuck nowhere. However, a dirt road meant something at least. Civilization couldn’t be too far. If I could get a head start before whoever brought me here came back, I might be able to get help.

I made my way around the bed to the other side of the room. There was no door leading to the rest of the house, just an opening. Before proceeding, I realized there could still be anyone waiting for me around the corner. I grabbed the blue vase and held it tightly in both hands. This would have to do. I crept through the doorway – each step making a loud creak. If there was someone here, they knew I was up now.

The room adjacent was a living room with a fireplace, television, and a small table with a single chair tucked under it. A modest kitchen also resided at the other end of the room. And that was it. There was nothing else to the cabin. There were no other rooms and the only door was at the front of the house. I was all alone. With a sigh of relief, I placed the vase down on the table.

My relief was short-lived, however, as an unsettling feeling crept over me. Why does this place feel so familiar? Two things gave it away: the gray and white tile delineating the kitchen from the living room, and the ornate, rust-colored rectangular rug in front of the TV. I approached the rug with disbelief. No way. I would recognize that stupid pattern from anywhere. Dozens of save files. Hundreds of hours of playtime. Sure, some of it was a bit different, but that stupid rug was just the same.

I ran back into the other room, no longer concerned about the volume of my footsteps. Instinctively, I looked at the wardrobe next to the window. This was different. Maybe I could find a clue. Something, anything that would disprove the unhinged thoughts rushing through my head. I whipped the doors open and saw only a few clothing pieces hanging up and some boots sitting on the bottom. I began rifling through the flannel shirts and overalls looking for an explanation. The last thing I looked at was a tattered men’s leather jacket. In one pocket was a wallet, and in the other was a folded-up letter:

If you're reading this, you must be in dire need of a change. The same thing happened to me, long ago. I'd lost sight of what mattered most in life... real connections with other people and nature. So, I dropped everything and moved to the place I truly belong.

The letter slipped through my fingers and I began to feel light-headed. I steadied myself against the bed and sat down. Staring at my hands in my lap…I began to laugh.

What a strange dream to be so lucid in. I haven’t even played this game in weeks. I closed my eyes and attempted to fly. Might as well if I was lucid dreaming. But nothing happened. And how could I have such clear thoughts in a dream anyway? There must have been a different explanation…

Before I could think of anything else, a gentle knock rapped against the door. My heartbeat immediately raised again as the thought of some elaborate kidnapping came back to the forefront of my mind. If there was someone dangerous out there, I might as well face them head-on. I retrieved the vase from the table and crept toward the door placing my hand on the knob before realizing…the door was chain locked from the inside. Whoever was out there likely posed very little threat to me. Still confused, I set the vase down and turned the knob opening the door just enough to catch the chain.

A man with a gray mustache wearing a brown newsboy hat greeted me on the other side of the door. You have got to be kidding me. He had a warm smile but was clearly confused by my caution. 

“Good morning, neighbor!” he chirped. His head tilted to the side as he tried to look around the room. 

“Hello…” I responded, instinctively blocking his view. He then looked me up and down.

“Hope I didn’t wake you! I figured you’d be up and about pretty early to catch as much daylight as possible.” I then realized I was still wearing my pajamas. They were the ones I had put on the night before. He extended a hand through the gap. “Name’s Lewis. I’m the mayor here in Pelican Town! Pleased to meet you, Love.” I stared down at his hand. Wait. “Love?” Gross. Why is he calling me that?  If I was going to get answers, I was going to have to play along. I grabbed his hand firmly.

“It’s good to be here, sir.” I released his grip, closed the door slightly, and removed the chain giving the door free reign to swing open.

“No ‘sirs’ necessary!” he chuckled. “I’d like to think we’re all family here in Pelican Town.” With nothing blocking his view, he looked around the room. His face lit up with a smile. “I see you got our welcome gift.” I followed his gaze to the flowers on the table. 

“Oh! That was from you?”

“Just think of it as a gift from all of us,” he replied. “The vase and flowers were sourced from talented folks around town. I even got someone to write the card. I should have been a doctor with how bad my handwriting is,” he chuckled. “It’s rare we get someone new in town. We’re all very excited to meet you.”

This didn’t seem like some delusional stalker. He was completely earnest. My mind raced with questions needing answers, but if he was serious, I would look like a lunatic. I needed to be subtle. Who would be the first person who might have answers for me?

“I can’t wait to meet everyone. My grandfather told me so much about all of you.” The Mayor’s smile dropped and his eyes softened.

“I’m sorry for your loss, dear. Your grandfather meant a lot to the people here. He was a fine man.” I did my best to put on a sympathetic smile, but it wasn’t easy considering I had not lost anyone.

“It’s been difficult, but I think I’ll feel closer to him now that I’m here.” It was time to use the conversation to my advantage and find out more about the ‘rules’ of this world I’d been thrown into. “One person he mentioned was Rasmodius. Does he live close by?” His brow furrowed in confusion.

“I didn’t know your grandfather was close to the Wizard.” That was my answer. Magic is…canon? Is that the word I should use here? Surely if anyone knew what was going on it would be him. If my “grandfather” wasn’t close with him, I would have to think quickly of an excuse.

“I don’t know much about their friendship to be honest. He left me a letter and mentioned how much the Wizard knew about the Valley and that he might be able to help me settle in.” I hoped this would be convincing enough to get him off my case. Mayor Lewis shrugged.

“I s’pose so. I’d say you could learn a lot by talking to just about anyone in town, but if you want to talk to the Wizard he’s about a 45-minute walk toward the southwest. Need someone to show you the way?” I didn’t want company, but I had to admit I wasn’t eager to get lost in some unknown forest.

“I think I should be fine. Mind drawing me a map?” Lewis reached into his shirt pocket and retrieved a pen and a small notepad.

“You’re lucky my memory’s not what it used to be. That’s the only reason I carry a pen and paper on me.” He began to crudely sketch the path to Rasmodius’s tower. It was just how I expected it to look. Once he finished, he tore the paper off and handed it to me. 

“Mind if I keep the pen? I moved in with just about nothing.”

“Sure thing, Love. Actually, keep the whole notepad too. I’m sure you’ve got a lot of planning to do to get this place up and running.” I took the pen and notepad. I’d need to collect my thoughts somehow if I was going to figure out how I got here and how I was going to leave.

“I appreciate the warm welcome, but I’ve got plenty to get to!”

“Oh, I won’t keep ya. Come into town and chat me up any time if you need anything.” The Mayor gave me a smile and a nod and made his way off the porch. 

It was as he was leaving that I finally got a chance to take in my surroundings. An expansive plot of land sprawled out before me, much larger than I could have guessed. Oh my god. This is real. A crude fence surrounded the entire plot of land which appeared to be somewhere around 10 acres. To the west of the house was a large, rundown barn. Toward the south was a dirt path leading out of the property and into the woods. East was the dirt road I had seen earlier along with what appeared to be a tool shed. Scattered across the property were several plots of what appeared to be once-tilled soil now overgrown with weeds.

Feeling overwhelmed, I shut the door, retreated inside, and set the pen and notepad on the table. I returned to the bedroom and changed into a pair of work pants and a red flannel shirt. Looking at myself in the wardrobe mirror, I couldn’t say this was my typical style, but I had to fit in. Besides, it was all I had. I approached the front door in my boots and took a deep breath. I can’t put this off. I need some answers. I opened the door and stepped out onto the porch.