#finance bros Charmes

[annie-also-draws]

Hades Charmes brain rot dump

Domestic Charmes Modern Au for my needs bc there’s not enough art of them HNNNNG (bless you AO3 writers)

Some designs for Hermes. (Charon’s still in the backlog in my head rn). Hermes with glasses anyone??? 😭

I’m in the deep trenches of making my own Au where Hermes and Charon are finance bros (god of commerce and the god who collects gold, duh, ain’t no way they’re dirt poor).

There’s plenty of fics that display Hermes as the black sheep of the family who’s running his own life away from his family doing odd jobs and barely hangs on (no hate I love them!!!) but there’s not enough Rich! Hermes out there so I just gotta insert my own brain rot. Charon and Hermes working for rival finance companies (one deal with future investment and one deal with settlement money/clauses after one’s death (idk if it’s a real thing but meh)

Check the tags for the synopsis lol AO3 style

Bless Jen Zee for long hair Hermes bc all the hairstyle I can conjure from this 😩🙏

The glasses started as a goofy accessory and ended up staying. Longsighted-Hermes who can’t see things that are close to him and uses contact lenses at work 👁️👁️. Only wears glasses at home (with Charon). Grows very little beard and is perpetually tired bc overworked! Hermes is so canon.

[arielmagicesi]

OK so after finishing BBC Ghosts, I started watching CBS Ghosts, and at first I was underwhelmed because it felt like literally an exact copy of the BBC one and also with worse acting and special effects. But then I kept watching and it’s charming in its way, like a Disney Channel AU of the BBC version, and there’s heartwarming moments and decent jokes, plus original ideas like the idea of every ghost having a “ghost power” and Sam going to see her mom’s ghost. That said, I did think it would have been more interesting if instead of doing a nearly one-to-one copy of the ghost ensemble in the BBC version (friendly arrow guy from the 80s, corrupt rich douche with no pants, proper lady of the manor, oldest guy who wears furs and is rough and tough, gay soldier guy, flighty naive girl... and then instead of Thomas and Mary they do have Sass and Alberta, that IS some originality) they could’ve just come up with entirely new American ghosts. I would’ve loved to see some more originality. I actually had been hoping they would include a Jewish ghost, like an immigrant making his way as a peddler in the Hudson Valley somehow idk. And uh, turns out they do have a Jewish ghost, cause in episode 16 it becomes obvious that the corrupt rich douche with no pants is Jewish, and every person he worked with in his corrupt finance firm was Jewish, and also he was friends with Bernie Madoff. So that’s fun

THIS IS NOT ME “CANCELLING” THE SHOW FOR ANTISEMITISM. I DO NOT THINK THAT’S WHAT’S HAPPENING. I AM JUST COMPLAINING

[antigonenikk]

What it would actually be like to date various HBOWAR men (modern au):

by me and @guarnerepdf

Speirs:

-is a cokehead finance bro

-you wake up in the middle of the night to him watching you sleep with no explanation given, just an eery smile

-is gaslighting you for purposes unknown (moving your furniture one inch to the left etc)

-buys you the fucking tackiest expensive jewelry and designer clothes as random gifts but half of it is fake

-you justify staying because he takes you to NOBU but you’re afraid to google him

-malarkey keeps telling you he's a serial killer but he has such beautiful hair

-lipton keeps handing you domestic violence brochures when he thinks no one is looking. you throw them away because you want that fucking ugly gucci belt! and the staring is sort of charming after a while

-possibly has a secret child that he is hiding from you. you're not sure.

-the first time you have sex he chokes you without asking and is confused when you get mad at him over it.

-does coke while eating dry fruit loops cereal in the morning. somehow looks hot while doing it.

Liebgott and Webster:

-challengers level toxic throuple, these two come as a pair!

-liebgott is xanned out so badly on the regular that he does not remember the last time he washed his hands.

-lieb met bill and toye in rehab and now all his friends are undergrads even though he's going on thirty.

-lieb won't kiss you in the morning "goddamn it woman, brush your teeth" but will kiss webster no problem!

-lieb likes webster more, but web likes you more because you don't call him slurs and you let him rant to you about sharks.

-you and web unionize at some point to get liebgott back into rehab. when he's gone you realize your relationship is 200 million times healthier but also extremely boring. you take him back the minute he releases himself AMA.

-lieb cannot figure out how to work tiktok, meanwhile webster has 100k subscribers on youtube and does grwm story time videos.

-you once had to be driven home by babe from the gas station after lieb kicked you out of the car. the fight was because he didn't believe you when you said you were allergic to gluten. babe lets you play cinnamon girl by lana del rey on the way home.

-lieb keeps trying to weaponize therapy language against you, 'baby you're fucking gaslighting me!' webster just makes it worse when he tries to explain what the terms actually mean.

Bill:

-you start dating Bill after he steals you away from Babe. Babe was nice, but you got the ick immediately after realizing he's not the leader of the friend group.

-bill sends you disgusting dick pics with extremely poor lighting. you can see his bottle of lotion in the background.

-you think it's sweet that he brings flowers when you go out until you realize they're stolen from the neighbor's flowerbed.

-you have an extremely lavish jersey shore wedding that culminates in a horrible fight when he shoves cake in your face ruining your 400 dollar makeup (that you paid for) and your 2000 dollar dress (that you paid for). during your vows babe has to hold himself back from saying something when the priest asks if there are any objections.

-DIRTY fingernails! does not wash his hands. gives you a UTI but doesn't understand that it's his fault.

-Doesn't cheat but is always on the brink of it.

-Follows multiple swimsuit models on Insta, claims it's okay because 'sweetheart, listen, it's all on the screen!'

-Is so cheap he refuses to pay for extra sugar for your coffee, 'you've had it bitter before, babe.' you are ready to murder him. takes you to chili's and acts like it's a michelin star restaurant.

Talbert:

-cheats on you immediately. within the first week.

-sends you anonymous texts to get STD tested, too scared to actually go to the clinic but is certain he's dying of syphilis.

-cries to lip for an hour when you leave him for speirs.

Gale Cleven:

-'sweetheart. are you really gonna wear that out to dinner? it's a bit...well... risque.'

-accuses you of being an alchoholic every time you drink, but Bucky has done four Jeagerbombs tonight and isn't getting any lectures. Also. Why is Bucky with you two on your date night?

-is straight but keeps stringing Bucky along because he reminds him of his father and for narcissism reasons.

-marge messages you on facebook to warn you about him, and also to sell you on her new MLM scheme.

-bucky keeps giving you mean little grins as he hangs off your man....you are very close to murdering him.

-you finally leave him after he calls you daddy in bed. not mommy. but daddy.

Bucky:

-gives you chlamidya three weeks into dating. gaslights you into thinking you got it from sitting on a public toilet seat.

-drives drunk while you're in the passenger seat, goes above 90 and almost kills the both of you.

-is in love with gale and you both know it but refuses to talk about it.

-laughs when you start crying over your new STD diagnosis.

-is the worst boyfriend in the entire world. do not date this man!

Leckie:

-cheats on you with vera, but has a jealous meltdown everytime you talk to hoosier at house parties. you were literally just asking the man for a lighter.

-hoosier is stirring shit up for shits and giggles. he keeps liking your thirst trap insta photos, commenting 'photo cred'

-cries when you confront him about cheating. writes a poem to you about how badly hurt he was by the whole situation. says he only did it because that's how he was raised! no one taught him how to love properly!!

-exploits his family trauma at any given opportunity, shameless about it

-writes you sweet yet cringy love poems

-chuckler keeps trying to warn you but is so awkward about it that you just end up super confused

-blows up the minute you try and critique his writing

-tells you you're acting 'just like you're mother!' during arguments

-eventually you break up because you cheat on him with hoosier and he cheats on you again with vera

Hoosier:

-completely emotionally unavailable

-laughs at you in the middle of a fight, then when you storm out he stares at the wall for four hours straight. no blinking. no moving.

-goes to chuckler thinking he's dying because he has a 'weird feeling in his stomach.' the feeling is literally just a crush.

-catches leckie flirting with you. doesn't cause a scene but DOES immediately cheat on you as a retaliatory action. has no idea why you're mad about it.

-determined to hurt you before you hurt him.

-somehow makes you think you're in the wrong due to the sheer FORCE of his conviction that it was okay for him to cheat on you.

-you two break up but get back together after having a baby. the baby is possibly not hoosier's but he's a genuinely good father. (the baby very obviously has leckie's face. no one is fooled.)

-during your wedding ceremony leckie has to be thrown out after making the worst best man speech of all time.

-parent teacher conferences are a nightmare because your child is biting the other kids and is failing all her classes. hoosier blames you for not helping her with her homework. you all go out to souplantation afterwards and he keeps dropping barbs about you being a dumbass.

-the two of you stay married for 40 beautiful years before dying of old age. within those 40 years you separate and get back together a total of 5 times. leckie somehow outlives you both.

Luz:

-is sweet and lovely and handsome and makes you laugh a lot but

-you're banned from six movie theatres, three bars, the pier, disneyland, and a froyo shop

-you don't even LIKE froyo but the fact that you can't fucking go there anymore is driving you up the wall

-you got kicked out of disneyland because he got into a fistfight with donald duck

-his mother HATES you. she is the ultimate boy mom. they are constantly talking about you in Portuguese behind your back. she wears white to your wedding.

-cannot go grocery shopping because he's stopped every five feet by some old acquaintance. you have no idea how he knows any of these people!

Eugene:

-you're his beard but he doesn't know it

-is the ideal gay boyfriend/husband

-buys you flowers and takes you out on beautiful dates. cringes when you try to kiss him

-everything would be PERFECT except snafu keeps creating dummy accounts to harass you, drives by your house at all hours of the night, and you're pretty sure he's planning to SWAT you.

-eugene has no idea why you hate snafu? he's such a sweet guy!

Babe:

-you're a bit embarrassed to tell your friends you're dating him....he's sweet but just so dorky

-almost puked on you after taking a dab at bill's house. you had to comfort him for ten minutes

-long suffering angel who you cheat on because you know he's just too good for you.... better to hurt him before he leaves you first!

-is popular on tiktok somehow. you have no idea how this happened but it did

[shotgunweddingicebath]

did not feel like paying a sixty dollar cab home or sitting under harsh metro lights last night. i went home with a random guy at the bar instead. i have sucked cock for less than a cozy bed and mineral water. very classic finance dude bro venture capitalist analyst blah blah. hopelessly unfunny and nouveau riche but almost charming in his entitlement.

he walked me to his home, guiding me with his hand wrapped around the back of my neck, as I drunkenly stumbled down cobblestones. no offerings of a night cap or tour, we headed straight into his bedroom where he told me to strip. a beautiful crossing of the threshold, a very exciting prospect. it always does feel like second nature to kneel in front of someone and nuzzle into their thighs.

dear reader, i was teeming with excitement, with neediness and yearning and desperation. he couldn’t get hard! i always forget that these types love cocaine almost as much as they love pussy. still i kept my mouth firmly on his flaccid penis, bobbing and tongue swirling and drooling and eyelash batting. no dice. we laid in bed as he put on a sleep eye mask and murmured about an 8am meeting in the office.

the night does not feel like a total bust, my body is warm and fuzzy. I touch myself under the sheets while the venture capitalist sleeps. pulling and pinching and prodding and rubbing. i can’t cum and fall asleep. i dream of the regular things: playing in soft meadows with puppy dogs, showing up to work pants less, clown college. I come out of my dreams in a fog feeling pressure on my body. the sun is peaking ever so soft through the blinds.

the venture capitalist is holding me from behind, his cock just an inch or two inside me gently rocking. I try to rock back just a bit, in a way that seems natural and still allows me to feign sleep. I assume it both frightens and emboldens him. he has slipped fully inside but rocks even slower. it feels almost like being cradled and i inevitably drift back to sleep.

when i finally wake up, the apartment is empty and my phone is dead. it is so fascinating how much trust is given to pretty girls. I walk to his bathroom, still naked, to snoop and to pee. I find a bottle of ativan and pop one of the little pentagons. between my legs there is the unmistakable smell and residue of dried semen. it makes me laugh, perhaps too loud, in the bathroom. I don’t bother to clean it up but do swish some mouthwash and clean up any mascara under my eyes. i leave a note that says ‘thanks!’ on the kitchen island, no name or number, and walk to the train.

[radiant-reid]

would love to know what kind of life you think spencer would have if he wasn't in the BAU (like in an alternate universe)! e.g. his career, friends, family life, etc (love ur posts btw heheh)

oo this is such tough one and i know he talked about having some random imagined future as a farmer in the show ?? but that's not here

career: the easy answer is engineering but engineering dudes and the new finance bros, ew. I can't imagine an alternate universe where he's not rich, but i don't think he would have gotten rich from tech. i can't see him as an entrepreneur either but maybe he would have started a business ?? also, teaching, i think he's too smart to be a professor all his life. and we'll hope he never finds a cure for something because he might ✨ disappear ✨ the things i can see him doing;

-medicine, because he loves helping people out -law, probably starting with criminal defense because i don't think he could be part of an unfair prosecution team but then if he ever had to defend someone he thought was guilty, i think he'd switch to medical malpractice suits, environmental, and immigration. i don't think he'd be able to do it for too long so i think he'd eventually become a judge because he's quite smart - maybe controversial but politics (hey, president Reid) because he's smart and honest so he'd be better than 98% of politicians out there. - once he has money, i definitely think he would have founded a charity

location: i just cannot see him living on the west coast. and i know he's from las vegas, but i can't see him living somewhere hot either, idk he screams snow at winter to me. dc or boston make sense to, maybe nyc or chicago for a little bit when he's in his 20s. when he has kids and gets married, i think somewhere outside of a city, hopefully Potomac MD since i'm convinced it's the nicest place in the country. wherever he lives, he has a very nice house worth at least a few million as well as other property like an apartment somewhere he goes for work and a lake house

family life: i think about this a lot. he'd definitely be married and have 3 or 4 kids, but i'm not sure the order of gender. GG twins, B, G could be a winner or G, BG twins, G. whatever it is, more girls than boys (if not all girls) and i'd really love to see him with twins. i also think they'd be pretty close in age and he would have taken some time away from work when they were little. private school (international if they'd like), a nanny who can speak another language to them so they're bi-if not multi-lingual, international travel, ivy colleges, trust funds. lots of luxury but he's very careful to teach them their privalage

wealth not a private jet (he's environmentally conscious) but first class always. he invests in lots of start-ups, particularly medical ones, and stocks, and founded a charity. he doesn't flaunt his wealth but i think he has lots of designer clothing, and because he's so wealthy he mostly buys from eco-friendly shops for things like socks when he could get cheaper ones from Walmart. loves to spoil people, his wife has a very pricey engagement, nice jewelry, birkins, nice cars, the kids get everything on their birthday/Christmas lists, their house has elegant art and furniture

friends a lot, some from work but probably more from outside of work. especially once he comes out of his shell as an adult and because i think his wife would be an extrovert who quickly discovered her dorky boyfriend could charm people and contribute in just about any conversation

[f0point5]

omg!! which girl do you identify with the most?? what are your opinions on the men (mainly big, but also interested to hear about the other men)? what are your opinionsssss i just finished it for the first time and i'm obsessed

Back when I first watched it I thought Samantha. As I’ve got older definitely more Charlotte. I would say I’m still a mix of the two. I’m a traditionalist like Charlotte but I’m more like Samantha in terms of my humour and lack of filter 😂

When I watched the series the first time I loved Big. Rich, charming, way too old for me - just my type. I am embarrassed looking back. I mean he’s just…Peter Pan. He’s Nate Archibald, a finance bro…he’s The ultimate situationship. He’s every guy who despite their narcissistic sense of self importance knows they aren’t worthy of the women they want (the Natashas of the world) but they try anyway. But those women don’t worship them enough, they don’t make him feel special because she’s the equal he asked for but in reality can’t handle. Those women force him to own up to his own irrelevance, they make him realise he’s not actually Patrick Bateman, he’s just a guy. And that feeling of inadequacy leads them to settle for the girls like Carrie who give them that adoration they crave. Except the Carries aren’t what they really want or what their narcissistic mind tells them they deserve, so they punish them with poor treatment, and keep trying ensnare the Natashas but can’t live up to the men they pretend to be so they hurt the Natashas too and return to the Carries out of self loathing. Let me tell you, there’s Bigs everywhere. And they’re small. They’re the smallest men who ever lived.

Aiden was just a Carrie to Carrie. The thing she settled for when she need to feel special because Big took all the power away from her. Insecure and a doormat. Hate him.

Harry is THE MVP like the way this man just absolutely killed it at every turn I cannot 😭😭😭

Steve was the perfect guy for someone, but not Miranda imo. Genuinely good guy and she didn’t deserve him. She resented everything about him. She liked the little things about him and not the big things and that’s really sweet when you’re 19 but I don’t know how you build a marriage off the fact that you like his quirks. Idk I did not get their opposites attract thing at all.

I feel like both Samantha and Carrie had too many seasonal guys to remember. I do remember Burger though and all I can say is that Burger was Carrie’s karma. He was her taste of the tortured artist crap she made everyone else endure the whole time. That needy emotional disregualtion was what everyone in her life put up with and that was her comeuppance.

Oh and the Russian. The Russian. I can’t even…that man did not feel real to me. He honestly feels like a fever dream. He was the only long term character that felt so incredibly fictional to me. There were traces of things I recognise, but the most real thing about him was the way Carrie changed around him. That was like…almost dark to witness. Because haven’t we all seen that happen? A friend hooks up with someone markedly more mature or sophisticated than them and their whole essence seems to dull. I didn’t even like Carrie’s essence but the way that man sucked it out of her was palpable. But like…why was he so weird? Why did he behave like that? He was just so…dry? But also a wet blanket? But also just someone who did not have the charm to act like he did. Like I LOVE an old rich man and even I would not have dated that guy he was so icky.

That show was such a moment in time though. I sort of wish we had something like that for the modern era but also don’t because you can’t make shows that authentic and simultaneously unrealistic anymore.

It’s such a trip to watch in the digital age though 😂

I popped off a bit here hope you don’t mind

[lemonhemlock]

Hiiii lemon 👋🏻

I was trying to make an oc for Cersei and Jamie and talked about it with a couple friends to bounce ideas with and they all had the same thing to say "you really think Cersei would love someone!? she literally killed Melara for daydreaming about Jamie..." And this kinda made me a bit...

Anywayyyyy personally I think yes Cersei can be delusional, heartless... But that's part of her charm !!! And really people would not be as harsh on her if she was a man.

Like imagine a boy killing his bestie over liking his sister/lover... People would call that a romantic gesture lol.

Which is why I'm here to ask what would you personally do if you were making Cersei/Jamie a female love interest.

Hi, anon! There's quite a lot to unpack in your message. Cersei and Jaime could have the potential to love other people. But certainly their insular upbringing and dysfunctional family made them overly reliant on each other to the point of co-dependency. So I think that if you want to create realistic OCs for them, you should give them traits that tend to their greatest needs or inadequacies.

For Cersei, it's perhaps more easily identifiable the kind of husband who could make her happy - it's basically who she imagines Rhaegar to be. A noble, handsome, gallant young man who would be devoted to her, treat her kindly and involve her in his daily political dealings. Both Cersei and Jaime struggle with gender roles. Cersei wants to be considered a leader and valued for something other than her reproductive abilities, she wants to be respected and not discarded the replaced the minute her body becomes "irrelevant". So power-sharing with a husband who values her personhood and intelligence would help to heal her accumulated trauma. What Cersei yearns for in a partner is not so different than what any woman would wish for herself.

With Jaime, it's more complicated, because you somehow how to prevent him from joining the Kingsguard. Because 1. he would not be able to have a functional relationship when his vows are in direct contradiction and 2. if Cersei is still Queen somehow in this AU, he'd only be miserably sniffing around her skirts, entangling himself in her business, getting inevitably jealous and miserable and keeping her from taking her marriage seriously. Other than that, Jaime has no true interest in politics and he bores easily, so an ideal wife for him would be one with good social and administrative skills, who could handle the tasks Jaime would consider tedious in his position as (eventual) ruler of Casterly Rock. He also has a quick with and is quite funny, so I think he couldn't be truly content if his wife didn't share those qualities. So, IDK, some combination between Sansa and Aunt Genna. :))

Ultimately, I think they could really only reach a true level of contentment if their spouses help them fulfill their societal roles. They're too entrenched in their identities as Lannisters to ever run off to the Free Cities and do whatever and too comfortable to renounce all privileges and live the lives of regular peasants or merchants. Feudalism offers few opportunities that provide safety and comfort; they can't exactly became finance bros or get a job at the business factory to support themselves or engage in some other bullshit activity that's little work and high reward, so staying in the socio-economic sphere of their rich family is their best bet.

Cersei has this fantasy of swords and mail, but she wouldn't have been happy as a knight, with the pushback that comes with true non-conformity. Equally, Jaimie already did what he wanted and eschewed his role as heir, but life as a perpetual knight doesn't seem to bring him satisfaction either. They're not revolutionaries out to dismantle the status-quo and campaign for change, but, in the absence of that, society is not going to just simply accommodate their idiosyncrasies just because it's them. And they don't really like it either when they find out the world doesn't bend around their wishes! (affectionate)

[byenycfm]

Sada Vang || 50 || #308 || Lucy Liu || Closed

Personality:

Sada Vang could be called a sociopath. She cares little for other people, gives little thought to their thoughts or feelings outside of how it impacts her or how she can use it to her advantage. She can be charming and disarming when it suits her, but she also has no qualms in stabbing someone in the back and stepping on their corpse with her designer boots to get what she wants. She has no qualms with hurting others if it serves her in some way, and is not at all squeamish when it comes to 'getting people out of her way'.

Biography:

Born to a drug addicted mother in New York, Sada was abandoned from the moment she was birthed as her mother left the hospital without warning a day after, never to be seen again. Born addicted to the same drugs as her mother and with a name given by one of the nurses who'd delivered her and a government employee, Sada Vang entered life straight into the system. From the get go it was noted by her foster families that even as an infant she rarely cried, and by the time she was a toddler they were noting her lack of affection, disregard for other's feelings, and a tendency to hurt the other children in the homes.

By the time she was ten she'd been in twice as many homes as years to her name, and by sixteen she'd walked away from the system altogether. Spending a year on the street, she eventually managed to procure a fake ID and a job in one of the more prestigious gentleman's clubs in the city. With her boundless confidence and easy handle on her sexuality and sex appeal, Sada rose quickly in ranks among the dancers, earning top dollar on the side through trysts, affairs, and a hint of blackmail with the city's affluent men. By her eighteenth birthday money was no longer problem, but as a gift, the owner of the club brought her in on his 'back door' enterprise.

Thriving as much in handling the back of forth of drugs through the club as she did dancing in it, her reputation became an open secret among the city's wealthiest. On her twenty-first birthday she semi-retired from dancing, instead managing the club and it's less legal operations with the occasional performance for shits and giggles and special occasions. For her thirtieth birthday, the club's owner decided to retire himself, being bought out by his now partner, Sada. Twenty years later and Eden's Garden remains by far the top Gentleman's club for the 1%, and a hefty percentage of the drugs coming into the city passed through her. Ridiculously wealthy in her own right, no one could ever say that Sada Vang wasn't a success story.

The day of the outbreak, the club was empty preparing for Sada's massive 50th birthday blow out, and she'd been in making sure everything was exactly the way she wanted it. For a long time she wasn't even aware anything was going on until her former employer called to tell her to get home. By that time it was too late and just opening the door had brought an attack down on her, one laid to rest with the heel of a well placed stiletto through the temple of a snarling finance bro. Locking herself inside, that's where she stayed with enough food, alcohol, and drugs to keep her occupied until the power finally cut. Seemed it was time to finally start the trek back to The Wexley and the comfort of her waiting loft with a duffle bag of 'supplies'.

Pre Outbreak Occupation:  Strip Club Owner/ Drug Dealer Previous Zombie Experience: Killing multiple zombies on her way to The Wexley from her club Eden's Garden. Martial Status:  Single Children:  NA Residence: Loft #1003 Years residing at The Wexley: 15 Years Connections: 

Rhiannon Wells - Former 'Employee'

Jeremiah Rose - Employee

JP Rose - Employee

Ashton Ryder - Ugly, meddling, pain in the ass

Zach Sanders - Acquaintance

[finniestoncrane]

your fics have turned my brain into mush finnie. i was thinking last night how i'm like, the furthest thing from someone that would be matched with ozzie depite my huge crush - i'm a shy hermit woman working towards a career in domestic violence services, i'm very sensitive (let's be honest i'm a crybaby), and wear unassuming clothes because i don't make enough for the wardrobe i'd like to have.

but then i had a dream that ozzie somehow was charmed by me after my friends dragged me out of my crazy workload, and since i'm humble to a fault and try to refuse gifts, the DV shelter i spend my time at mysteriously began receiving tons of donations bc if he can't spoil me traditionally he can show his love by spoiling a place i care about... i have brainrot level 1 million bro 😭

(baby ok me too i doubt he'd want some nasty lookin little gremlin like me and also i know he'd be into a thick girl but specifically not the type of thick i am and also i am a hassle and a pain in the ass so you're definitely above me in the list regardless my sweet but also who cares it's our fantasy! 💚)

ANYWAY this is the nicest thing ever ;-; can you even imagine, he seems like exactly the type of boy who would do that, this old man hiring women and protecting them with workplace benefits, taking on men who have had a shit time and letting them learn a skill like bartending or finance or secretarial work i dunno I AM RAMBLING

but i can see him donating a lot of money to a lot of causes, secretly, because no one needs to know he's soft. offering you gifts, being so hurt when you refuse them, thinking it's your way of rejecting him politely like "don't spend your money on me i'm not interested" and deciding that yeah, you might not be interested in him, but you still deserve something nice. so he funds the whole place, funds permanent staff, security, high quality everything not just the bare minimum quality. and never ever admits that it was him 🐧💜

the brainrot is ridiculous honestly if i don't fuck that old man, and i obviously won't, i am going to SCREAM EVERY DAY

[spellbindingnights]

The Hargreaves family

Patriarch: Howard Hargreaves - fc: Jeff Bridges (NPC)

Texan

Charming

Ruthless

Unscrupulous

Hot temper

Womanizer

Straight

First ex wife: Tatiana Balakirev - fc: Michelle Pfeiffer (NPC)

Russian

Cold

Former model

Loyal

Still gets along with Howard who supports her luxurious lifestyle

Straight

Current wife: Eleanor Heargreaves née Davenport - fc: Cate Blanchett

Born in Georgia

Callous

Vindictive

Fashion designer

Charming

Tough

Resourceful

Bisexual

First son: Bradford ‘Brad’ Hargreaves - FC: Travis Fimmel

Son of Tatiana

Common sense

Slow pace and chill

Ranch life but still acts rich and takes advantage of his privileges 

Hates the city

Cornell University’s College of Agriculture and Life Sciences

Straight

Twins: 

Oldest twin: Huxley Hargreaves - fc: Boyd Holbrook

Son of Tatiana

Cocky

Smart

Harvard Business School

Rebel

Finance bro/Wolf of Wall Street

Drugs

Party

Closeted bisexual

Youngest twin: Margaret Hargreaves - fc: Evan Rachel Wood

Daughter of Tatiana

Republican senator

Ruthless

Cerebral

Pragmatic

Harvard Kennedy School 

Bisexual

Fourth son: Royce Hargreaves - fc: Michiel Huisman

Son of Eleanor (she got pregnant when Howard was still married to Tatiana)

Yale Law School

Player

Trickster

Charming

Lobbyist

Bisexual

Fifth daughter: Eliza Hargreaves - fc: Margot Robbie

Daughter of Eleanor

Cunning

Self centered

Ambitious

Yale University

Daddy’s girl

PR Consultant

Bisexual

[witchthewriter]

𝐒𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐟𝐨𝐫 https://www.tumblr.com/thesirenrealm 🥂

Want one? Here be the rules 🦋🌈

𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒆𝒂𝒄𝒉 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝒉𝒂𝒔 𝒊𝒏 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒎𝒐𝒏: ✧  Passionate ✧  Hot-heated  ✧  Mischievous  ✧  Determined ✧  Protective

𝐓𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭

𝐷𝑒𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑖𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛

I ship you with Paul Lahote! The hot-headed werewolf who can back up his bark with his bite. He isn’t for the faint-hearted as he has a big personality. But you were never intimidated by him, even when you found out about his secret. 

𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠

・He loves to go shopping with you. Many might think he’d hate it, but he actually really loves fashion and trends. He’ll help you pick out outfits, and wait for you while you’re in the changerooms. 

・Will take you out to all the best places; especially clubs, bars, and restaurants. 

・Loves spoiling you; roses, jewelry, etc. Oh and especially books! He’ll go out to get them, take you with him, or surprise you. He is a soppy baby tbh; he may seem like a dude-bro but he has a soft heart. 

・Being around the wolf pack a lot and getting into arguments with Jacob 

・Seth is like a younger brother and he constantly looks up to you

Relationship Tropes: 

  ✧ Very Comfortable With Each Other (PDA, kissing, hands on thighs, back rubs, neck kisses) 

  ✧ Two Morons Who Think They’re Smarter Than The Other

𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑓𝑎𝑣𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢  

Your passion, the way you feel things, your intensity. He couldn’t see himself with someone meek and mild. 

𝑌𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑏𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑  

Your best friend is Leah Clearwater; the two of you are like two sides of the same coin. But where she is reserved, you’re more passionate and outgoing. You have a strong bond and she loves being around you; you help each other with problems and sort through issues. You see a side that not a lot of people see - she’s witty, funny; therefore you have a lot of inside jokes. 

𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐀𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐡𝐲

𝐷𝑒𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑖𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛

I ship you with Jax Teller! You deserve someone who would risk their life for you, who would die for you. He would be so loving, but also expect you to be a part of the club. It would make him so proud. 

𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠

・His pet names for you are, ‘babe’, ‘sweetheart,’ ‘darlin’,

・Riding on the back of his motorcycle. The wind in your hair, feeling free as he speeds down the highway. 

・He’s really proud to call you his Old Lady. He doesn’t mess with the crow eaters or any other woman but you. (Because he knows you will wreak havoc on anyone and everyone.) 

・He gives you every cent he earns - you’re in charge of his finances

Relationship Tropes:

 ✧ Mutual Pining Thinking The Other Hates Them

 ✧ Charming Suave x Fierce Intimidating 

𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑓𝑎𝑣𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢  

How sweet you are with him, but how sour you can be with others. He loves knowing that you love him while others won’t ever get to experience it. 

𝑌𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑏𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑  

I think your best friend would be Tara - she would give you a new outlook on how to look at things and give you great advice. She’s a nice reprieve from the testosterone that you’re both surrounded by. 

𝐕𝐢𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬

𝐷𝑒𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑖𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛

I ship you with Ivar the Boneless! You said you like to read and watch horror, and from that, I think you have a fascination, or at least a tolerance, of darkness. 

𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠

・Will fight anyone on the spot if they disrespect you even slightly. He will kill them. And a few times you’ve told him to stop and other times ... well ... 

・You’re always by his side in public, especially during a battle. You will ride in the same cart as him - but he doesn’t expect you to fight (he doesn’t want you hurt, but if you want to fight, then he would make sure you’re the best.)

・Would most definitely die for you. 

・Treats you like royalty; makes sure you have everything you would ever need, nay, want. 

Relationship Tropes:

 ✧ You Think I’m Scary? Wait Until You See My Wife

 ✧ Evil Mastermind x Enabler/Supporter 

𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑓𝑎𝑣𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢  

That you accept him, you do not judge him and make him feel wanted/loved. He hasn’t felt so loved since his mother, and even then it wasn’t unconditional.  When someone is telling a story, and no one is paying attention. You’re that person who looks at them and says, “keep going, I’m listening.”

𝑌𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑏𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑  

Your best friend would be Astrid - she has a similar fire that is within you. That passion is reflected, and she would feel like she found a sister. You would practice together, tell each other stories and memories. 

[eryiss]

Eryiss Fanfiction: 2022 - Present

2017 - 2021 Fanfics

Multi Chapters & Long Shots

The Liar Prince Of Fiore (Freed x Laxus) - Ongoing

Laxus knew Freed better than anyone else, but everyone had secrets. With Freed's secrets laid bare. his past life of royalty, titles and expectations come back to haunt him. Laxus makes a promise to protect him. For as long as necessary, he will play the role of Freed's husband. It might have been easy, if Laxus didn't wish so much for their lie to be true. [Canon Divergent AU | Ongoing]

Capture The Moment (Freed x Laxus) - 5/4/2022

Struggling with his college finances, Freed takes a job as the wrestling team's social media operator. It would be an easy job, if it weren't for the hot, cocky, spandex clad wrestling captain. Laxus Dreyar turns Freed's live upside-down, and Freed doesn't mind at all. [Modern College AU | Complete | 54k Words]

One Shots SFW

Thoughts On A Guillotine (Freed Centric) - 17/11/2022

Freed would do anything to complete a mission, including letting himself be captured and tortured if it could get him the intel he needed. But that doesn't mean he has no limits. When pushed to them by a group of slave traders, Freed reveals just how twisted his own mind can be. [Canon Divergent | 3.5k Words]

Tell Me Lies (Freed x Laxus) - 5/11/2022

Laxus returns to the guild to find Freed under the influence of a truth spell, which forces him to answer all questions truthfully and as fully as he can. Laxus takes it upon himself to help Freed navigate the potential embarrassment the spell can cause, but his own crush on Freed and a slip of the tongue might change their relationship forever. [Canon Divergent | 5k Words]

Captains Don't Kiss (Freed x Laxus) - 21/7/2022

An uneasy alliance between pirates. A common enemy. A silent agreement not to talk about what happens at night. Freed and Laxus are in an unfamiliar situation, but can they survive it together? [Fraxus Week 2022 | Pirate AU | 5.7k Words] Gold, In Triplicate (Freed x Laxus) - 20/7/2022

High off his Olympic victory, Laxus wakes up in his dorm with the hazy memory of a man by his side. He consigned it to the past, but twitter had other ideas. [Fraxus Week 2022 | Olympic AU | 4.1k Words]

False Love's Kiss (Freed x Laxus) - 19/7/2022

Playing the lead roles in Broadway's Beauty & The Beast wasn't Laxus' idea. Neither was all the practice kissing. And that's all it was. Practice. Right? [Fraxus Week 2022 | Theatre AU | 5.5k Words]

The Perils Of Matchmaking (Freed x Laxus) - 18/7/2022

Freed knew he and Laxus couldn't last, and he was meant to marry someone else. But, at his engagement party, he realises the mistake he's made. But is it too late? [Fraxus Week 2022 | Medieval AU | 5.6k Words] The Demon's In The Detail (Freed x Laxus) - 17/7/2022

Ivan Dreyar needed to die, and Laxus was going to make it happen, even if he needed to sell his soul to an annoyingly charming demon to do it. [Fraxus Week 2022 | Occult AU | 5.1k Words]

Bromance In The Blackout (Freed x Laxus) - 16/7/2022

Freed and Laxus were friends. Platonic. Bros. At least that's what they used to be, before they got trapped in the library together. [Fraxus Week 2022 | High School AU | 3.5k Words]

Not Enough Time In The World (Freed x Laxus) - 15/7/2022

Freed's job is to travel through time, stopping people from disrupting the timeline. It was fun work, until he met a renegade chasing him through time. A renegade named Laxus Dreyar. [Fraxus Week 2022 | Time Travel AU | 7.7k Words]

A Certain Kind Of Sense (Freed x Mard Geer) - 6/2/2022

The Raijinshuu didn’t really understand Freed's relationship with Mard Geer. It just didn’t make sense. But Freed seemed happy, so they should just accept it. What they absolutely not do was spy on them. So of course, that’s what they all do. [Canon Divergent | 3.5k words]

Two Types Of Lovers (Freed x Gray | Bickslow x Natsu) - 21/1/2022

Natsu and Bickslow hooked up on their first night together, and found an instant connection in each others' beds. Freed and Gray took things slower, with gentle kisses and stolen glances. Two couples with different dynamic, enjoying each other's bodies on the same night. [Modern AU | Word Count 4k]

Two Types Of Dates (Freed x Gray | Bickslow x Natsu) - 19/1/2022

Long distance relationships can be hard, but they're making it work. With Freed visiting Gray and Natsu visiting Bickslow, the two new couples have plans to catch up with what they've missed and make the best of their time together. [Modern AU | Word Count 2.9k]

King Of His Fantasies (Freed x Mard Geer) - 15/1/2022

In moments like this, Freed put himself in the mercy of Mard Geer. The demon took his pleasures and Freed did as he was told. But this was the first time Freed had followed his master's demands outside of their shared dreams. Surrounded by mirrors, with toys and demands to keep him obedient, Freed will do as he is told. No matter what. [Canon Divergent | Word Count 3.5k]

King Of His Nightmares (Freed x Mard Geer) - 12/1/2022

Freed was a pragmatic man, so ending up with the demon king Mard-Geer Tartarus went against his nature. Even that ignored the fact Mard lived only in Freed's mind, that Freed was falling for Mard, and that he had no idea how Mard felt about him. A list of problems, without an obvious solution. Fate, it seemed, had a violent and terrifying answer to set Freed's mind at ease. [Canon Divergent | 3.5k]

Keeping Promises (Freed x Laxus) - 7/1/2022

When he returned from excommunication, Laxus made a promise to always help those he cared for. So when Freed returned to the guild half dead, Laxus was the one to help him recover, even if there had been a distance between them recently. But with things to say, apologies to make, and attraction to contend with, maybe being Freed's carer is exactly what Laxus needs. [Canon Divergent | 9.5k Words]

Dealing With Something New (Freed x Gajeel | Evergreen x Levy | Bickslow x Gildarts) - 5/1/202

In a quiet moment, Gajeel and Freed see each other in a way they'd never considered before. Attraction hits them with sudden fury, and both men don't know what to do. So, what else can be done but going to their friends? And, their friends' unexpected partners, apparently. [Canon Divergent | Thunder Legion Rare Pair Week | 4.5k Words]

A Public Celebration (Freed x Natsu) - 4/1/2022

Professional footballers Natsu and Freed have been dating in secret for months. When they win the championship match, Natsu is filled with an overwhelming energy and desire to kiss his boyfriend in front of the camera, the crowd, and and world. And he's not exactly known for impulse control, is he? [Modern AU | Thunder Legion Rare Pair Week | 1.5K Words]

Love Of The Zodiac (Freed x Loke) - 3/1/2022

Loke and Freed had been dating for a while when Loke stumbled on the paper. Freed had been seeing how he conformed to Leo traits? How cute. And what a perfect opportunity to see what Zodiac traits his darling Prince had. And, maybe confess his love as well. Who knows? [Canon Divergent | Thunder Legion Rare Pair Week | 2.5k Words]

Hypnosis & Bubbles (Freed x Lyon) - 2/1/2022

In the circus, gossip is wild. So when Lyon maybe fell in love with Freed at first sight, he knew people would start interfering and trying to get them together. But, what he didn't know was that it wouldn't matter, because he could handle things himself. [Modern AU | Thunder Legion Rare Pair Week | 2.5k Words]

Sleep Makes For Secrets (Freed x Mystogan) - 1/1/2022

Mystogan made an effort not to make an impact on the people of Earthland, and as such couldn’t take not of anyone. But now, each time he enters the guild, he sees a beautiful man with green hair, and he can’t seem to forget him. [Canon Divergent | Thunder Legion Rare Pair Week | 4.2k Words]

One Shots NSFW

Online, On Cam, On All Fours (Freed x Laxus) - 25/6/2022

Freed became a camboy to get himself through college, but his online fame blew up and he grew to love it. The only issue was his boyfriend of two months didn't know. Not until he walked in on Freed on all fours, mid show, dressed in a playboy bunny costume. Needless to say, Freed didn't need to worry about Laxus' reaction. Not at all. [College AU | NSFW | 4.6k Words]

Call Me Master (Freed x Laxus) - 12/2/2022

Laxus has taken to his role as guildmaster well, but there's one more thing he needs. Freed has yet to call him Master. But he'll change that; and if it takes teasing, a firm hand, and just a little humiliation, then so be it. [Canon Divergent | 2.2k Words]

[symmetria-dichotomia]

How would you describe an ESTP sx/sp 8w7 (if you know the Enneagram).

I'm interested in discussing the enneagram, trifixes, and instincts at a later date for sure.

Let's break this down:

ESTP - Se Ti Fe Ni Frequently mischaracterized as adrenaline junkie finance bro, which may be true in some cases but rare ones. ESTPs are attracted to the sensory for sure, but it's their element, not just their whim. ESTPs are grounded, able to form workable solutions to problems just as quickly as they arise. The Se-Ti axis creates a connectedness to the tangible environment and a layer of sorting and compartmentalizing on top of it. Contrary to letter type belief, ESTPs are more emotionally intelligent than they let on - tertiary Fe, after all. They know how to influence other people's perceptions, and may be known for having a charismatic air to them that people find respectable, attractive, or intriguing. The biggest struggle for an ESTP would be in regards to future planning. For sure, they may create general ideas of what they want to do based on their current interests, but a serious conversation regarding where they're headed or making statements regarding exact plans for a path forward will be stressful to them. The Ni-Fe axis may at times of stress make the ESTP feel cornered, paranoid of what others think of them, and may start to draw connections between events and behaviors that don't exist. In retaliation against this, ESTPs might attempt to solve problems that don't exist or indulge in risky behaviours to counteract their perceived faults and fears.

sx/sp 8w7 sexual (or one to one) 8s tend to have a rebellious streak, moreso than their social or self preservation counterparts. They are highly aware of social hierarchy and power distance, and will often like to feel above others in conversation and in situations. This isn't necessarily a bad trait, but certainly something to be worked on. 8s may have a small group of people they feel the most secure around, and will tend to withdraw out of discomfort if the circle gets too large or becomes less trustworthy. The wing 7 gives way to a more energetic and personable individual than the conflicted 8w9, and will often thrive off of the adventures than stimulate both the 7 and Se. Of the gut triad, the 8 is sometimes the most susceptible to emotional outbursts, but is tempered by a mellower, predominantly happy 7 wing. The self-preservation secondary instinct provides motive for the sexual/one to one instinct. They seek to form relationships with others that give them an advantage, motivated by needed to protect themselves and their resources. This type might even be susceptible to the notion that life is a zero-sum game: "if they succeed, I've lost something; if I succeed, they have failed." This is strategic in some areas of life but can interfere in cooperation with others and understanding that multiple people can benefit without detriment to someone else.

Taken together, the ESTP sx/sp 8w7 is an assertive and charming personality, one that likely has some level of natural charisma and social skills that gives to their abilities in any field - be it business, athletics, finance, or even medical studies (I actually have an ESTP so/sx 873 friend who's currently a med student). They may be quite playful and interested in working with teams, though less for social harmony and more for furthering their goals and aspirations. They are honest with those they value, will take charge and lead teams with ease, and have a keen interest in being at the top of the pyramid, whether work-wise or personal needs-wise, to feel grounded and secure.

[dwestfieldblog]

THE EVIL ANGELICALS

So, who’s been supplying the missiles to Palestine? They can’t all be home made…who funds the fundamentals? Iran and Syria with some Arbian cash…supported with a smile by Russia with a view not only for destabilisation but to focus attention away from its invasion of Ukraine. America and any allies Israel has left will need to be concentrating a vast amount of diplomatic energy, special forces and weaponry into avoiding a serious war in the alleged ‘holy’ lands. Slovakia, Poland and Hungary have steadily been becoming more reticent over support for Zelensky as the Kremlin works hard to undermine. Seeds all over Europe germinating to rise in grim blooms of far-right groups. Black humour dark as oil to see nationalists being manipulated so easily into serving their actual enemies. As always, follow the money.

Not isolated to Europe either…Brexit and Trump were strongly financed and encouraged as the collective dumbasses in the UK and the US wilfully sucked up the disinformation in the name of (don’t laugh) patriotism. Whipped up to distraction like moralising masochists over the ‘liberal woke’, transgender issues…with the tantalising promise of taking back their countries and making them wonderfully utopian by voting for greedy, venal power-hungry politicians paid by lobbyists, oligarchs and others connected with Moscow and Beijing.

To the point where their governments were and still are, going against the advice of their own scientists, diplomats and information services.  Yeah sure, beware of deep state reptilians, covid vaccines activated by the 5g masts controlled by the Illuminati and the sneaky old Hebrews blah blah yada yada.

Dumbing down all the way has been firmly on the national curricula for quite a few decades and it all seems to be coming to a head where the West is ripe for take over. And we deserve it. Just a shame it has to be by the East rather than angelic aliens crossing dimensions of light. But that’s how it goes these days.

Bro down! Kim and Putin bestial buddies for life (and more likely Death). Looking like two cliched James Bond villains with guided tours of missile bases, nuclear bombers… weapons for the slaphead and technology for the fat Wrong Un. Military masturbation for the chuckle brothers in a substitute boner festival, because 19 months of using prisoners and pensioners as cannon fodder plus grinding losses have left the Kremlin Gremlin short of bullets. Charming to see such a pudgy North Korean greaseball whose people allegedly eat donkeys and grass while he gorges. (Not much future hope in his pale anorexic sister either.) Putin mentioned that Kim is ‘trying to develop space’. Well, he certainly takes up a lot of it. Love the way his terrified sycophants have to scribble down his golden words in notebooks to catch every fetid drop of wisdom. Perhaps he just has a very short-term memory.

Songun…is the North Korean policy of all tax money going to the military first… this means Dough Boy has plenty of stockpiles to share, as his direly undernourished population can always tighten their belts and starve harder. With regard to their chummy brotherhood, Kim said ‘I hope we will always be together in the fight against imperialism’. Hmm. Part of the definition of the word imperialism is ‘a policy of extending a country’s power and influence through use of military force.’

So, irony not at home in Wrong Un’s head. The workers really control the means of production over there, eh? All power in the hands of a few evil rich, (just the same as in imperialist capitalist democracies), not much actual communism. But then, there has never been much of that, just revolutions turning in cycles, as they do.

Russian schools are now teaching young children weapon skills…so as to be ready immediately to fight imaginary Nazis when they are called up at 16. And Russia wants to rejoin the United Nations Human Rights Council…as human rights is obviously an issue about Putin cares deeply.

‘The fact that we recognise the verbal level as internal-subjective and mistake the visual-tactile level for external-objective is the main cause of our frequent confusions, mistakes, bad judgements and repeated or dogmatic ‘wrong ideas’. Well said Robert. Give that man some Jameson and a joint of good weed,

Every person, sooner or later will experience a personal loss. A tragedy. Some can overcome and let go. Most of us will spend the rest of our lives carrying memories which cause us to drop into a spiralling void whenever we recall unbidden. Banishing rituals need to be performed within. It explains a great deal about the world, the mental burden of anguish we all shoulder. Perhaps when broken in pieces, we can better flow with the river. I have spent months now, over sensitised, looking to become functionally numb. And winter is coming.

Hibernate in a cave. Too much part of the story in reporting the facts, too emotionally unevolved, I couldn’t keep a professional distance, so I kept an amateur closeness. Too male, too English, in spite of everything I thought I’d learned. I was going to call this blog Empathy for the Devil but found there is a book with this name about helping you ‘Overcome Drug and Alcohol Problems’. Lol, as they say. My only problems in connection with these substances comes when I don’t have any immediately close to hand. Lol; eat her. Anyway, the devil never existed any more than did ‘God’. and ‘all energy flows according to the whims of the great magnet.’ HST.

(‘The resultant of all these repressions acting convexly from outside is experienced concavely from inside as the defined self; it has been defined by others.’)

Meanwhile, back in the home of the grave…with their oath keepers, proud boys and evil angelicals. Trump must not win. Should he do so, his first acts will be total revenge against all those hundreds he perceives as being enemies. He will seek to dismantle and rearrange the CIA and the FBI, the senate and the law courts. Followed by deals with Putin which will allow Ukraine to fall by withdrawing all American financial support from NATO in the name of peace.

Vlad will smile and talk of their great partnership while continuing to deal happily with China to further undermine the EU and the USA. Trump will meet with Kim again for another pointless red button dick measuring contest and also cement Netanyahu’s crushing of Palestine. (This paragraph was written in September.) Causing the Arab world (other than smiling Bin Salman who recognises pure greed and lust of power) to attack and attack and attack.

This will allow the non-Muslim world to rant about fundamentalism, share a created common enemy, start further wars to benefit the arms and oil industries, drive up prices, spread deepening global fear and causing Trump to do what any despot always does…i.e. change the laws to increase his terms in office and special powers. The massed ranks of evangelicals and ‘true patriots ‘will swell into Star Wars stormtrooper proportions in righteous fervent glee that their emperor messiah has come at last and America is finally great. Sorry, great again. Trump is a terrorist. There, it’s in writing.

At that tipping point, Putin and China will either allow the USA to fall apart under the massive weight of its colossal bullshit while trying to micromanage it not become a black hole…or by that time will have the technology to neuter America’s weapons technology from space. And the East will rule the world with an evil heart even worse than the West.

Hope I haven’t missed any negative bits. There is always the beautiful ‘random’ factor of chance. And Trump’s life is finite. Just continues to seem weird that in such a big and democratic country, the best candidates they can excrete upwards are an ancient man and a truly hateful orange scumbag. And the others. Sheesh.

Now the British (well, half German) Queen is dead, not sure Trump gives a toss about the plague ship UK and we can continue our downward spiral as America’s 51st state. Unsure who outside of Britain would give a toss if we were annihilated with clean fission weapons…other than the oligarchs who have well-appointed properties here. Irradiated real estate is hard to sell.

The old science fiction idea of the rich paying for tickets out of here to survive in space colonies or travel cryogenically frozen to a distant planet is also becoming ever more plausible. Egos unable to comprehend flesh being finite will demand their brilliant lives survive this burning, flooding, earthquaking world. Funny, as the majority of such types also refuse to believe in global warming, due to being stockholders in companies which vomit pollution.

Of course, the self-chosen ones will need a few hundred self-replicating proletariat slaves for manual labour. And we are back to Sumerian times. Anthropomorphic polytheism many gods in human form. Modern Moses the Egyptian comes down the mountain with a couple of Apple tablets. ARF.

Thirteen years of Tory misrule, I’m not a socialist but… Green Rishi ‘Long Term Decisions for a Brighter Future’ Sunak, backtracking and U turning on every single save-the-planet idea they had (due to the insurrection against ULEZ cameras because a handful of votes might be in it) is truly disgusting. The Conservatives, preserving the dysfunctional status quo, not quite as net zero as they might have led suckers to believe. Fossil fuels for fossilised hearts.

And Home Secretary Suella, a second-generation immigrant pulling up the drawbridge against an ‘invasion’ of the wrong sort of aliens, reminded me of an interview with a Pakistani gentleman over twenty years ago. He had come over in the seventies and opened up a newsagent and upon being asked what he thought the worst problems were in Britain, he immediately said ‘There are too many foreigners coming over here’. I felt the same way in Prague, far too many Brits and Yanks wanting to be musicians and teachers, go home scumbags. One likes to imagine one is individual and important compared to amateurs. Arf#2.

During the day, I write, do housecleaning, gardening and read books in silence. In the evenings, I switch off the machine with whisky and sound. Watch a good film or some comedy. Open and raw, peaceful as Zen then numb and enclosed but in a good mood to go to bed and enjoy my dreaming. 23 (wouldn’t you know it?) bits of writing have suddenly appeared within the last 5 weeks. Tiptoe the line between fine tuning and overthinking And it is finally time after five years, to take out my guitar…

HAPPY SAMHAIN/HALLOWEEN TO YOU, with Love

[leam1983]

A Taxonomy of Call Agents

The Ideal Point of Contact: "I've followed my script to a tee, with just a few ancillary points of personalization to make the structure feel more organic. I've listed all relevant info and helped you book an appointment in the best of cases. I sounded like a human being without being unprofessional and made sure to bring a bit of warmth and basic common courtesy to the proceedings."

The Actually Standard Agent: "I follow my script slavishly because previous postings scared me out of any sort of spontaneity. Everything is performative, but I at least don't sound like a robot."

The Robot: "I've thoroughly compartimentalized my job and have zero emotional affect involved. On the one hand, that gives me the social resiliency of Teflon and I'll swallow Karens unloading their irrational hatred onto me like it's a nutritious breakfast. On the other, I'm probably masking for some social awkwardness I'm stuck with."

The Stoner: "Hey man, everyone's chill. Everyone's a friendo, everyone's super cool - watch me land anecdotes and crack wise with people I'll never actually meet! I'll forget what I'm supposed to be doing and then fall asleep on the job, to where the Brain Gremlin will need to wake me up with a 3CX call. I'll mutter apologies and turn into a mellow version of the Robot for the rest of my shift."

The Overachiever: "I'm taking calls and doing my college-level Chemistry labs at the same time. Watch me juggle five or six different tasks at once with a modicum of success, which hurts my call rate but makes me come across as really mature and organized. The truth is I'm not, I just look like it."

The Evangelical: "I'm relentlessly kind to my clients and coworkers alike, but I feel obligated to end my scripts with a God bless that sometimes annoys the secular majority. I can't understand why anyone would be annoyed, as I've fully integrated the notion of proselytization as a basic component of being nice to people. When conversations turn personal over Slack, I'm the first to default to questions of faith as a show of support. I'm far too nice to notice the supervisors' rising annoyance, however."

The Grandma: "I'm professional when addressing someone of the same age range as myself, but default to grandmotherly or grandfatherly warmth with anyone younger. My avuncular charm is a viciously effective Sales tactic, but I'm also among the least technically savvy in the agent pool. Pair me with the Former Salesman on a list and I'll rack up all the referrals you'll ever need."

The Former Salesman: "I know all the tricks and needed precisely zero training outside of UX/UI concerns. I'll book you people with my eyes closed and have far more insight into the average customer's needs than your average agent. No longer being a salesperson, however, I'm under no obligation to butter anyone up. My blunt honesty counters my natural schmooze and sometimes costs us referrals - but it's workable."

The Gamer or Crypto Bro: "I took this job to finance my extreme hardware requirements, all I'll ever talk about is the ZOTAC Trinity OC's estimated TDP when properly liquid-cooled. God help you if I notice you're a fellow gamer, I'll start thinking the supervisory track knows about Street Fighter 6's Zangief meta or would be interested in setting up Coinbase accounts."

[audhdwitch]

tarot log 09.25.2023

using golden thread tarot on labyrinthos app

daily spread: thinking, feeling, doing

the hanged man | reversed ace of wands | III swords

i pulled these guys just after midnight i think, so the app's daily spread had like, JUST refreshed. i flipped em over and was like huh okay, hanged man, fascinating. um wtf is with the reversed ace of wands. bro what the FUCK are you talking about what is going on. what's with the fucking III swords??

ngl not a single one of these cards made any fucking sense to me. i've been having a good time?? i just found out my spell to get my full security deposit back worked like a charm (heh) and have just finally started to feel like i maybe won't have to scrape pennies together just to survive and have enough for first + second month's rent + security deposit, and you give me this. bro what the fuck is that about.

update

so because i cannot abide by uncertainty, i did another 3-card draw, although this one was intended as not-necessarily-linear. at first, these cards didn't make much sense either, even after several conversational coin tosses with Hermes for clarification.

i can't remember much about the kinds of questions i asked, unfortunately. i was able to glean off the bat that i was being consoled/comforted somewhat, but the cards only really made sense as a collective pull in retrospect. i still didn't feel like the III of swords had been clarified at this point though; i was unable deduce the nature of the suffering it was referring to, although it seemed to be related to work/finances somehow.

clarification spread

II cups | the world | V cups

II cups: the caduceus naturally struck me as being related to Hermes immediately; i asked my gold coin if it was him, and he responded in the negative (update 2.0: he was fucking with me.)

the world: this card often comes up, i am starting to suspect, to soothe me. to let me know it's going to be okay.

V wands: three cups are overturned but two still remain...

conclusion: whatever's coming, in the end it will build character and make me a more actualized person. the situation is going to suck, but it's salvageable, and Hermes will stand by my side through it.