#find me attractive but i feel so sick rn like I HATE THIS WORLD

[robotpussy]

oh i knew i was anxious for a reason. he rlly is a 2 timing bitch 😭😭

[goddessjynx]

Any parent please answer?

Idk if anyone will see this, but right now I need just anyone to tell me I'm not crazy.

Am I a bad friend for wanting to hang out with my ex-bestie (eb for short) while she has her kids or she's busy and can't hang, so I offer to come over, to help watch, to help clean? Anything just to be there for her, why? Oh because she was on her third child, at this time I literally went over to her house to play dnd with her husband and brother and her sometimes. So I would try and say "hi" or talk, but instead we stayed doing something else or barely said hi. Ok, fine, hormones, got it. It got to the point of she wouldn't want to hang out with me for reasons she stopped telling me decent sounding excuses. Fine, That's fine, I have other friends who I can hang with or find other things to stay inside and not get out of the house to do. I don't need to leave the house, to get away from the suffocating inside the house with a mentally and verbally abusive, controlling husband. That's. Just. Fine.

So you know, time goes on. we find out that the reason she won't hang out with me, but will hang out with the other girl who she hates (Mind you the other chick literally broke into their house, tried to start drama all the time, and be hazardous to her already two children But who am I to judge about the person you rant to me about how you hate them so much?) But the other chick was also pregnant after divorcing her wife. It's honestly such a mess. So "anyways, I get excluded now because I "Don't understand what she's going through" or "I won't have the same experience" or I'm "not a good source of help" Lol, Okay? I still can't help? Be happy for you? Cool. So things go on, and just things have gotten worse on my end. I'm over here with such a mind debilitating baby fever, that I'm having to pull my car over watching children get off the school bus because I'm in such a crying fit that I can't breathe or see straight. So who the hell would I go to about what do I do? My Bestie right? (There's a reason we are eb rn) I tell her, well try, Idk how much she actually listened. But I tell her how I just can't think about anything else right now. I did everything right, and the world keeps slapping me back.

I own a 4 bedroom house. we have two cars, we even have decently everything working out in our favor, But all of a sudden, I'm not good enough for anyone. My own husband two months after getting married said he hasn't found me attractive for the last two years. THAnks. That's a real boost. This didn't start the fights, but that's a whole other set of rants. about a year before my eb got pregnant, around or right before July 4th, I strictly remember, I was in the walmart fucking bathroom. I had felt so sick the weeks beforehand. Like, My menstrual cycle hates me. She's savage af. Not to mention she likes to disappear randomly and appear with just cramps or a whole flood. I never know. But I remember calling my husband in a panic because I don't know what to do while I had to go to the bathroom so bad it hurt, and all I have is half dollar sized clots. Just something my medical brain, and senior year of AP biology says, "Fuck!" I have him figure something out because I'm really needing someone to just hold me in the bathroom I feel so sick to my stomach. I'm dizzy and all these symptoms I tell him to tell the doctor or whoever he calls.. So he calls, they say whatever to him. I don't either remember or he never told me what they said, (this is a normal of hiding information from me, A LOT) They said (What he told me) to just wipe things up and clean up then if it persists in the next 24 hours to go into the hospital. But I will have to see an ob-gyn.

So, Okay. Nothing bad. but they are in charge of everything along those lines. But those were including two words, that I now know were the two words this man didn't want to hear despite, DESPITE all the teasing and jokes about having kids with me when I was younger with him and literally just dating. That was because I had to see a family planning doctor. I was told by HIM that it was nothing, and we will be fine. I just blamed it on my cramps that are horrible and never put thought to it because I had believed that's what he was told. So that's a trauma my brain locked away until recently as I'm going through my divorce right now. But, I was thinking about how shortly after that, I got a call from my eb about how they were all waiting on me because I'm making us late for bringing stuff to the grill out and bonfire later. Fine, mask all the pain and keep fucking going. right?

She seemed genuinely not worried, saying it was probably just a bad cycle. She gets them all the time too. Its whatever. My now bestie's sister has gone through the same thing I described multiple times, enough that she looked at me and was like, "No, You possibly miscarried." even her mom went on about, "they should've never NEVER brushed that off like they did. If they cared then they would've made sure you were ok. My husband denied me from going to the doctor to see anything about it. Even after when I knew my hormones and emotions were just soooo off. But that's in my mind now, when before maybe around the same time my eb came out saying to all of us even her own husband one time saying she's been feeling crummy because she went in and she found out she had miscarried. It was so short after my stuff that she disregarded then took and made attention for herself that upset her own husband because she never told him until she told a bunch of us at a bar. I mean I felt bad for her, but Now thinking back, my gut says it was a ploy to make her husband to feel bad for her and to try for another one. Where as I'm over here waiting patiently because I jumped through Hoops to get where I'm at now.

My husband promised me children. Lots, its a fucking dream to be a mum. I care for everyone else, and their kids, why not have some kind of mini me to show of what I did. That I did good. That I can be useful to this world too. That I'm not just a lump of no good nothing to this world. But first, he needed a better paying job than a gas station.

Did that, he worked at a metal parts production place. But we then gave the fact that we still live in the apartment I got after moving out from high school. We rented a house. It worked, and it was nice. But now he needs a car, but he cant do that until he learns how to drive. 3 years older than me and I taught him how to drive. AND I helped him buy his first car, a truck. Oh but now, we still can't start a family. We are only renting. I have enough good credit that I could get a house alone, but I needed a higher pay. Bam with his income together we got a house.

Bam, I'm hit with baby fever and what not. NOW I get told, we aren't ready for anything like that yet, so wait two years. Alright, I'll wait. I can do that. We were going to go on trips together and do many things together and all of a sudden, the walmart thing happened, and it just got worse from there. It got to a point I got a job paying BETTER than him and I was the laughing stock to him and his buddies. THANKS. But I'm fine, everything is fine. The walmart thing was about two years after, so I mean, it was actually in the time frame and whatnot. Things just kept going on getting worse at home, I just kept listening. For reasons, I had to quit my high paying job, and then everything got absolutely horrible at home. Had to put everything I had control over money wise into his account for he worried it would take too long to find an new job and make money to suffice for bills. It was argument after argument, but I went to my eb explaining things, asking what the hell do I do? Her advice? To just do what he wants. The thing I had to quit about? She basically never cared about it. Everything just went on being a mess. I went on just letting people walk over me because that was the advice I was given.

I voiced my feelings that I have been following lies and how I feel hurt that I'm told dreams and having them be taken away. We never went on trips much. Instead we would buy a crap ton of ammo or new guns that I'm not allowed to use, yet I'm helping fund so you can get them, but when it was my own that I BOUGHT, all of a sudden, my things went missing and he would be out using and letting his buddies use my new guns and using up the ammo I had purchased on my own. I mean, fine, but let me at LEAST take yours out if you're going to use mine without asking. It got to be so annoying that we would be asked when we would get married or when we would have kids. He would be hugging me and smiling all cocky saying "Oh well we haven't stopped trying." every time. He would start that tell people this and I finally had enough. I stopped him and told him to put his money where his mouth was. He always said shit but never actually did it or acted on what he said. He would just lie to everyone. Tell people lies because it sounded nice. Best part? I had bought a ring for him. I proposed to him because he would joke about things like that. So I basically said, "bet" and did it. I have never received a damn ring! He wouldn't even want to look at them with me. Because they were expensive. Not all of them are. I don't care what price it is, but something to say, "Hey, I love you and Don't want the odd peeps at the bar to keep hitting on you so take this with you, its dangerous out there." (Shut up. I'm a nerd) But like.... I just would make notions about, I wanted a ring. He would beg me to pool together money and buy new guns, I mean I"m not against, but I would bring up that I will want a ring. Or even something else would be you know, amazing right now because I'm in a lost place wanting kids still and my eb just announced they were having their third. (which her own family was so upset about it that they ranted to me and my mom, her own brother said that its just another kid that they will end up taking care of instead of her so she can go to the bars again. Yep) So next we talked about getting a gun safe because, before we can have kids, we need to be SAFE. Ight, we bought it. Nice matte black 33 capacity, fire and water proof, best part the front had a reallly pretty engraved waving American flag imprinted on it. It was just so smooth. (Guess who has that right now btw) So oddly enough in the middle of me not being enough for my eb, My cycle kind of returned to being semi regular, and all of a sudden disappeared. Well that whole month beforehand we went from never wanting to touch me unless it was my birthday to every night he was angry after work and took it out on me instead. I mean, whatever. But when it came to me not feeling well, I told him.

Instantly it wasn't mine. I was fooling with other guys. Like instant psycho. His childhood friend came and moved up with us, she saw this for a good few months and had to move out because he was trying to control her as if she were a child. She told me that it was not right for him to be that way and that she will never talk to him for how he treated her. (which was exactly how he was always with me too) I'm not sure if he was trying to get my jealous because his bff was a girl? Idk we worked out like literally sisters. Sooo much in common and she told me, She believes he's never wanted kids. And she watched how I broke down after he told me he wanted nothing to do with me until I took a test. He DEMANDED that I took a test right away. If it was positive, it wasn't his until proven so. And if it was negative he would be fine. this was ridiculous. He wasn't at all happy or excited. Purely upset. I felt so shitty that after the test was negative I told him and he threatened about it happening again he was leaving back to Kansas. He threatened this every damn fight, it got to the point that I gave up, I said leave then. And instantly he shut up. I got him out of gangs, crime, jail, living on the street or with his mum, and being a maaajor drug addict. Yet I'M THE BAD PERSON.

Back to recently when my eb is getting closer to having her kid, I just go through finding out I'm not and my husband is freaking out at me, nonstop yelling at me that I'm not good enough and all this shit. Yes, lil ol me trying to keep the peace in the house is a cunt and a whore. Wow. Name calling, but hitting where it hurts? I told him before, how my mother in an argument said I would be a horrible mother. And that shit sticks. IT STICKS. So what does the smart ass pull out? He repeats it. He says he's glad I'm not pregnant because I'd be a horrible mother in the end.

That. That just kills a person. That kills dreams and the feeling of wanting to keep living. Who the FUCK says that to their partner? Am I wrong for thinking that's not right? Well my eb thought I was. I told her my feelings. How I don't want to be jealous of her, but I am. That she's more beautiful, she's always had guys hitting on her in school inviting her to do things and hang out, I was the nerd in whatever class that got invited only if it was mandatory. She will be having three kids and a loving husband that can never take his hands or eyes from her, where as I have to act like a clown to get my husband to look up from his damn phone. To say something nice. To

be acknowledged while in the house. I've left and came back the next morning because I hung out at my now besties house. He didn't say a word until I came home the next morning and he looked at me like "when the fuck did you leave" No care, no love. I was stuck being a burden. Anything I ever did around the house was in vain. Everything I helped with I got shoved away because I didn't do it right. EVERYTHING I did was not good enough. I would tell him this that is how I felt and he would deny it. One day, I caught him yelling at me saying that what I did wasn't ever good enough. Calle him out right away. Bitch... He tried to change the wording to go around what he said. I HEARD IT. it was so bad I had to have my bestie on the phone to listen to how he talked to me behind closed doors. Away from public view. HER MOM HEARD IT. Thought she was watching some kind of dramatic show, until she realized it was me on the phone. She's listened to so many calls its unheard of. There was a day, I had enough of it. (Ok A lot actually) but I grabbed my laptop and my charger and left the house. I sat in the park drawing on my laptop. Texted every person I could think of that I cared so deeply for that they would care for me back. I was in a dark ass place asking for Advice. My eb shrugged off what my husband was doing and scolded me for leaving. For sitting in a park drawing out my feelings instead of being with him because he's being dramatic to her husband upset that I started an argument. I didn't understand what I started when it was over me telling him not to throw the controller when he loses a COD game because that's how it breaks. Why he threw it? Because I distracted him by playing with my cat while he was playing the damn game and made him lose! yep. Exactly that. So I was yelled at to quit. So I did. I went back to my drawing and then with my headphones on I was humming to my music. It distracted him and he lost. So I flipped out because I can't do anything in my own house without being scolded for it. So I stormed off to the bedroom to draw some more. I'm upstairs and away from him. Didn't want to eat now I'm stressed and upset. So I didn't cook anything and now he's hungry and upset at me for not making food yet. YES. That's how it started and I again was the bad person in the story for safely removing myself from an environment where all my mind was telling me to do was dark things that hurt to say. To give up on everything I have worked for and all my dreams.

That was the last time I spoke to her for a while because everything started to be only about baby and about doing this for baby. Doing that for baby. But then she would never answer me back. I was done trying to fit time to hang out. To do something, I made new friends who didn't have kids and hung out more with them. It got horrible. the sound of a child crying made my stomach hurt. I had non stop dreams of the same thing happening. It was just awful. I looked it up and it was just meaning I had something and lost it. Whatever is missing in the dream what what I had lost.

In this dream I was dressed in all black, lace and long dress covering every inch of skin on my body. I had a hat with a veil and I was rocking a bundle in my arms in an old decrepit room with peeling paint and broken toys. It was a nursery. An old ruined nursery. I was rocking just a black blanket swaddled with a hole that emptied to the void. It gives me chills, I get this dream so much that me explaining just makes my skin crawl and my body ache. It hurts to think of but I just cannot understand it. Makes sense now that I looked into it.

But me going through all of this, I can't talk to my husband about my feelings because I'm too needy and being selfish for not taking his feelings into an account. That he's not ready that we are not ready and that I'm not ready because I'm going to be a horrible mom. Cool.

I have tried so much. I couldn't be around kids. It made me so sick and I jus would have to find somewhere to hide and cry for hours. I would cry myself to sleep. Never getting comfort by him because I'm throwing a pity party. I was so hurt. Still am. I'm broken hearted. Thinking that if I had a kid, at least I would have something that needed me and would love the care I gave and would love me back. I wanted to feel loved for how much I put out in the world. I wanted to have something to ground me to this world before I did something stupid. I was in such a dark place that I drove an hour to go see my bestie because I was scared that I was going to do it. That I was going to be the big disappointment he told me I would always be. Three months later, baby is here and I go back to playing dnd with my friends and its at their house. My husband is rubbing it in my face. He's holding baby and talking to baby and doing all these things making my mind break. He asks if I want to hold her. If i if iififififi NO.

I can't I cannot. I'm trying to be respectful. I missed out on other games because I had to hype myself up. I procrastinated because I didn't know how I would be or if I could handle it. I got to the point that my eb's husband told me that he doesn't want me playing anymore because I sent a text trying to apologize to my now eb that I feel so bad but I can't see her right now since seeing her kids just sends me into a panic attack and I can't stop thinking horrible things. So she takes that as I have a problem with HER kids and not just the KIDS situation. Doesn't hear me out. blames me for everything and has me banned from coming over. in which her husband says he doesn't want me over anymore. Which my rebuttal is because she's telling him only. But he said it was his choice. I don't know don't care. It just hurt that THATS the reason I got kicked out. Not because I was good, but that I couldn't handle their kids. And I would not pay attention by drawing the whole time. I was distracting myself because I'm trying to drown out the noises of cooing making my gut rot and my mouth dry. So by all means I'm selfish for wanting a dream that I was being promised for the last 6 years of physically being with my soon to be ex. I've know for actually 12 years. And that I drove 15 hours to bring you to me since you couldn't drive.

So I need to know from real parents, was I out of line for telling my eb that I had feelings and that them not being heard or just cast to the side hurt? Am I crazy for feeling that I've been robbed? For being upset when my husband comes home drunk and abuses me? For being hurt when I'm called all sorts of names and told I'm worthless by the man I should trust the most? Please. I need to know.

I know I'm ranting, but I need to get it out. I need to find some sort of something to figure out why I'm feeling this way, or why I don't know what to do with myself anymore. I'm fighting for the divorce since i haven't been to my owned house in the last 5 months since he changed the locks on me. I moved an hour away from my home and my family and still to this day, I hurt to hear or watch children around me. I'm happy, but inside something aches and just feels empty. Not to mention that I got told by people that know me that he's been caught buying condoms. We are still technically married, and he can't be doing those things right now. Am I jealous? Upset? Hurt? All of the above? It just sucks and I'm drowning in debt a bit trying to work my ass off to get where I want in life again since all of everything has been ripped from me. I'm trying. Please let me know if I'm crazy or out of line? I want to be heard. I'm going to start to save up. I have a plan for my 27th birthday. If it doesn't work in time for my 28th birthday, I'm not sure what else I can do but join the 27 club.

[mysterytickingegos]

At Least We Have Us

Pairing(s): Darkiplier x Platonic!reader

Genre: Angsty with a fluffy end.

Word Count: 1,771

Summary: Strange things happened to those who didn’t leave that dreadful manor in time, and you were one of those people. Becoming something not quite human took some time to get used to, but at least you weren’t alone.

Anonymous Request: Platonic Dark with a soft Y/N that's basically very motherly of him despite being much younger? She cares a lot about him and looks up to him. Maybe she's his assistant and also experienced the events of WKM and Dark basically adopted her after that? Post-WKM please! I need Dark being a wise and over protective big brother rn Thank youuuu

Authors Note: I loved working on this one! It was a fun concept, thank you so much for the request!

Want to read more?

[Image Description: A gif of Mark from a vlog video giving a thumbs up to the camera, it has been edited to be gray with Darkipliers afterimages and colors, red and blue.]

Dark...That was such a strange name to call him, at first.

Damien had been a family friend. He was your neighbor, and your best friend’s uncle. When you were a teenager he was a respected member of the local government, a man who hid away in a study and worked far too hard. Eventually with enough pushing from Ophelia, he was your boss, having given you an internship in city hall that Elli really didn’t want. You considered him a friend. Maybe not a close friend, but he was someone you trusted and respected and he would say the same about you.

You jogged up the stairs to the office, dodging past people while muttering quick apologies to anyone who had something to say about it. When you got there, you heard the laughter of your friend through the door and cracked it open. Ophelia was desperately trying to catch her breath between giggles, of course because Damien was telling another story about your completely sophisticated soon-to-be DA. He was surprisingly relaxed, leaning back on his desk and talking with his hands quite a bit.

“But of course, that doesn’t stop them, they run down the street- Oh, Y/n please come in. You’ll want to hear this.” He gestured to the empty chair beside Elli, but when you didn’t move from the doorway, both their faces fell. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” You tilted your head at them, not realizing how you looked, pale and out of breath. “Damien, they’re done counting. You won.”

He was in shock for a few moments, only standing up a bit straighter as he processed your words. “I won? I’m...?”

“You’re going to be the Mayor.” Ophelia finished for him, just before all three of you started laughing and cheering and jumping around.

In many conversations there were moments where you would catch a glimpse of the person you used to know, and in the beginning you would get a heavy heart. You weren’t ready to let him go, to accept that he was somebody else now. Perhaps that’s because it would mean accepting you were somebody else, too.

None of the guests from that damned party left the manor the same.

You heard it so clearly, a stranger’s voice coaxing you up the stairs, quietly whispering your name over and over as you slipped away from the rowdy party. You were practically hypnotized, not thinking about who it could possibly be or their intentions as they lead you to a room that sent chills down your spine the moment you opened the door. It was a room filled with trinkets of the occult, books with terrifying symbols, and scribbles of a mad man on papers scattered all over.

“You’re not supposed to be in here.” You heard a growl from a new voice, just behind you. The person shoved you inside the room and slammed the door as you hit the ground. “In fact, I could’ve sworn this was going to be hidden from all of you.”

You stood up as quickly as you could, turning to see the host of the party scowling at you. “I wasn’t...I was just looking for Elli.” You said quickly, brushing off your clothes.

“The same Elli that told you she was going to lay down for the night a couple of hours ago?” He stepped closer, slowly, ominously.

You thought back to that conversation, spoken quietly, just the two of you on the staircase while everyone else was still playing poker. “How could you even know about that?”

Mark grinned at you, sinister and cold. He gestured around the room, to the books and trinkets. “Things aren’t as they seem here, Y/n. Ever since Celine...left me here, the things in this house had opened my mind to things I never could’ve imagined.” A short laugh bubbled out of him. “I can do anything.”

“You’ve gone mad.” You whispered, backing away. You’d heard bits and pieces of the Iplier drama from Damien, having vented his concerns to you over cups of coffee during work since the day you got your invitations. But you knew now that he had no idea.

“Perhaps they were trying to do the same for you, but I’ve come too far for some kid to screw it all up now.” He turned on his feet and left the room, shutting the door behind him. You rushed over to it, trying to twist the knob before he got a chance to lock it. But it was far too late. You banged on the door and screamed for help until your voice went hoarse, but the room had in fact been hidden away. You were surrounded by taunting spirits in a room that nobody existed, for what felt like weeks. You could feel them gnawing away at bits and pieces of you after that, an itchy feeling under your heart, changing you. Truly, time had been warped, and only one day had passed before you were found by someone who was now immune to the houses secrets and cloaks. And he didn’t say anything, but clearly something had happened to you too.

Funny thing about living forever? (Or at least as long as you have,) It’s not that great, in fact it’s actually very lonely. The world changes around you, and you don’t change that much at all. You often have to leave, not wanting the attention of being the same age after living or working somewhere for 20 or 30 years. Or you get too attached to somebody and you know you will lose them, now or later.

But you weren’t alone. Despite his anger towards Mark, how badly he wanted revenge, Dark kept very close to you. Especially after he learned what happened to his niece, he was going to keep you safe above all else. Mark learned that the hard way when he tried to silence you too, only to find an empty house and a rather cheeky note.

“Catch me if you can.”

Another funny thing, you didn’t even know the power that you had when you first wrote that. As far as you knew you were a normal girl waiting out the storm. But eventually waiting got pretty tiresome.

“How could you be so foolish?” Dark called after you as you both stormed back into the house.

“Oh come on, it wasn’t that big a deal.” You huffed, tossing your jacket away.

His image faltered and glitched at what you said. “Not a big deal? You have the gift of longevity, you are NOT impervious to bullets!”

You flopped down into the armchair, crossing your arms. “We don’t know that yet.”

“You sprained your ankle tripping on air last month, I think it’s safe to say.” For a moment you could’ve sworn he smiled. If it wasn’t at your expense, you might’ve been happy. “You wonder why I hover,”

“Someone had to step in and do something.”

“Why did it have to be you?!”

“Because!” You twisted around in the chair to face him, fighting back tears. “I’m bored! I’m sick of living like a hermit! I’m tired of these stupid towns in the middle of nowhere and never having any friends...it’s been almost a century Dark, I don’t know how much longer I can do this.”

He pierced his lips, having to look away from you before he got emotional himself. “So this is your plan? Play hero until you run out of luck?”

“Or we can stop hiding. We can try and live our lives, instead of just surviving. I mean, what's the point if we’re completely miserable?”

“And what about him?”

“To hell with Mark, what about you?” Your voice was softer now. “I can work, and shop and be neighborly. But you...you’ve been stuck in the shadows, holding onto your hate all this time. Maybe you don’t believe it after everything that’s happened, but you deserve better.”

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “What then? Where do you want to go?”

“How about we go home?”

‘Home’ was California, LA specifically. Sure, you could’ve gone back to your hometown but you were both part of a rather famous local mystery and you agreed it was for the best to stay away.

The sun had set a little bit ago and the streets were only illuminated by signs and street lights, that was the only way he’d agree to go out into the city with you, in the dark. Fair enough, he didn’t want to attract attention to himself. Luckily, you’d made some good friends in the last few months, friends like Mike.

“Ah, bonjour!” Mike greeted cheerfully as you and Dark approached the window, before ducking into his shop to get you both a bowl of ice cream. “I was wondering if you were going to show up.”

You nudged Dark over to one of the tables and leaned in the window. “I didn’t mean for it to take so long, thanks for keeping the shop open late for us.”

“Don’t mention it. I actually have a cousin with really bad anxiety, so I get it.” He passed you two bowls with a smile.

Dark squinted at you when you came back to the table. ‘Anxiety?”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t have anxiety.”

“You’re right, I should’ve told him the truth. You and your sister possessed your best friend in the 1920′s to escape a place called the upside down, but sometimes you drag bits and pieces of it into the real world and that would probably scare the locals in broad daylight.” You didn’t miss a beat in your little rant, scooping some ice cream into your mouth as soon as you were done.

He chuckled and shook his head at you. “I’m supposed to be the one lecturing you on being subtle.”

“Hey, I’m the one who’s been covering for us the past 91 years. It’s your turn to follow my lead.” You said matter-of-factly, pointing your spoon at him, before you dove back into your bowl. You missed the ‘fair-enough’ nod he gave you and the pride written all over his face, another glimpse of someone you used to know. “You know, maybe you should bring you-know-who here someday.”

His eyes went wide and he shook your words off just a little too quickly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“So you don’t have a thing for his new friend that you’re watching out for?”

“Stop it. Stop it right now.”

“Fine,” You put your hands up in mock surrender, “But you know I’m right.”

[jaefmin]

Treat you better | N.Jm

Treat you better - Na Jaemin

↳ Pairing: caretaker!Jaeminx fem!reader [sick!reader]

↳ Genre: fluff, angst, fever, humor (if you notice mine😭), friend!au, anxiety, childhood!friends, tattooed!Jaemin sadlkf they don't even kiss-

↳ Synopsis: It's your stupid, ugly and imperfect body that's giving up right before attending an important meeting with your boss. This could give you a promotion, but your body's in a state to just lay in bed all day. Will you be able to get to the meeting?

↳ WC: 2.7k

Header made by: @vantaengelic Go follow my baby rn!!

↳ Pairing: caretaker!Jaeminx fem!reader [sick!reader]

↳ Genre: fluff, angst, fever, humor (if you notice mine😭), friend!au, anxiety, childhood!friends, tattooed!Jaemin sadlkf they don't even kiss-

↳ Synopsis: It's your stupid, ugly and imperfect body that's giving up right before attending an important meeting with your boss. This could give you a promotion, but your body's in a state to just lay in bed all day. Will you be able to get to the meeting?

↳ WC: 2.7k

Ajdjksj- why dId I mAkE tHe syNoPsIs sO cLIcHé

@intokook 🙃🙃

As soon as you're about to pass out from exhaustion, someone knocks at your room's door. Not now. Please. You're barely left with the energy to open your eyes. Your eyelids feel heavy, but soon lift up wide awake when the person enters your room. Those usual creaky sounds of the doors reach your ears only to make you quiver, and, you're blessed with a sight of a pale faced man, hair neatly arranged on his face with a worried expression. Your eyes fall on the man's outfit, a pair of cargos, with a black shirt covering his torso. His facial features seem pleasuring- beautiful orbs with round specs, muscular hands, and beautiful tattoos on them. You immediately recognize the man by his tattoos, and he seems to recognize you too. His appearance disgusts you now that you've realized him. But it's too late to analyze and hate the man in front of you more deeply. Before knowing anything more, you fall asleep.

You feel a hard splash on your face, and in seconds, and you're wide awake. A chill runs down your spine and you begged for the person to have thrown warm water on you. Your eyes witness a standing Jaemin, with a mug of water in his hands. His tattoos attract your eyes towards them, and you can't help but stare at them. "So this is how long it takes to wake you up? I've been shaking you for the past half hour and you are like some big old chimpanzee that doesn't feel anything when an ant's trying to move it." Jaemin baffles. "Hey!" You stammer "Anyways, why are you here?" You ask back. It was oddly strange of Jaemin to be here. "Some man called Jaehyun sent me here. I'm originally taking care of old sick people in an old-age home, but Jaehyun told me about your situation. Trust me, I didn't expect it to be you." Jaemin explained in a high tone. He paused a bit after a comeback again. "And If your condition's hell, then didn't you think of paying the doctor a visit?" His tone seemed like he was sick because of you, and he was criticizing you for even breathing. "That's not how you talk to a sick person." You stood up in your defense "Yeah yeah. 'Sweetie, would you like to visit the doctor? 'Cause I really think we should go there.'" Jaemin mocked you, and you could really see the same young, frustrated Jaemin in him. "You haven't changed at all, have you?"

Jaemin made sure you were seated properly in the car. He drove the seatbelt around you and continued to the driver's seat. He turned on the heater, and asked "So, what's wrong? When did you get your fever?" His tone seemed to have calmed a little bit. "Yesterday night. I had a headache, the night was full of surprises every hour." You replied to him in a voice low pitched. "Don't worry we'll get you all fine. And Jaehyun told me that you had a really important meeting... Or something like that? Would you like to tell me more about it?" Jaemin asked. "Oh yeah, there's a personal meet my boss wants to host with me. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have exaggerated it, only if it wasn't in Vegas." You ended with a sad tone, knowing that you'll never make it in there. And losing your job... for another season of hunger games until you get the next one. You sighed. "Don't worry sweetheart. I'll take you there." Jaemin boldly let out.

"No need to worry Y/N. You're absolutely fine. It's just a viral. All those bacteria are kinda fighting inside your tummy, and you've gotta let the good one win and then bam! Y/N's all back!" Jaemin exclaimed. "Which one's the good one?" You ask him only to have been receiving a weird reply from him. At first, he stammered a bit, and then let out. "Not like you're gonna go and dance with pom-poms inside your tummy to cheer them up. Do you even know how much Jaehyun exaggerated it?" He immediately changed the subject. He kept on talking, and indistinct sounds entered in your ears as you were in your own world, lost, thinking something. Although a smile did appear on your face upon hearing Jaehyun's name, and how he'd taken care of you. He was the best colleague ever, and you had your own little crush on him.

"J-Jaemin?"

"Yes?"

"I really need to clean up my bedroom. You've witnessed how soiled it is. Would you mind doing that for me?"

"While you will...?"

"...Watch the telly?"

......

"Alright, JUST because you're sick. Keep in mind I don't really be so kind to people like you. I hate those years when you're in your twenties. A big judgmental couch potato stuck to your screen."

"Well, you are in your twenties?" You replied after calculating a bit. "Not for long." Jaemin replied. "A decade passes like this." He snapped his fingers to indicate how the years pass, and you seemed to be fascinated with his answers. You knew the old Jaemin, the one that used to bully you in high school, but this one seems interesting. Feels like he's gotten over the series of unfortunate events that you both went across. His aura was different. The kind that would make you jump into his personality's fathomless ocean, and plunge into it. Somehow, he made you feel like he had changed a bit, but at the same time likewise the old Jaemin. The days you spent together, the fights both of you had, all those memories kept haunting you. You never forgot what he meant to you. "Earth to Y/N?" Jaemin snapped you out of your thoughts and you looked back at the tattooed man. "I'm not going to clean up your room." "What?!?! Why?!?" You stood and stared at the air, thinking what happened to your voice. It got harder, huskier, a sense of cough in it. Before you knew it, you were coughing your lungs out like crazy, and that just made Jaemin panic. He started going around in circles, and you immediately asked him to bring water because you knew he wasn't going to do that on his own. "Alright, shh calm down. Relax. Here's your pill. Have it and take rest." Jaemin shortly laid you on the bed after that. His face was on top of yours, and he was about to get your medicines to you, when you felt it coming. You were about to cough. You were trying your best to control it, but Jaemin wouldn't stop lecturing you on relaxing.

Bam.

"UGH!! GROSS Y/N!!!!!!" Jaemin's face was a masterpiece from down where you were looking from. After a couple- err well a lot of 'ewws', 'ughs', 'you're so damn gross' , 'who would want to even take care of you', he finally calmed down.

"What kind of person coughs on the face of their own caretakers?" Jaemin asked after wiping his face for the tenth time. "Face-cougher." You were all giggly and jolly before hearing that name. "Excuse me?" You said. "What's wrong, Face-cougher?" You did not like the new nickname. "You did not call me that." "Yes I just did, face-cougher." Jaemin replies and you are not staying quiet in this. "Y/N is a face-cougher!! Face-cougher!!" Jaemin started teasing and that's all you were taking.

Another bam.

And it isn't good this time too.

This time, you landed right on Jaemin. He put the couch cushions for his defense, but the anger inside you told you to throw the cushion and throttle him right away. And you decided to do that. Of course, not the whole 'throttling' part. He was quick enough to find another good defense. This one was a vessel, the one he decided to cook pasta for you in, but that never progressed further more than deciding. So, physically preparing yourself, you grabbed the spatula and dashed towards Jeno. A thought tingled inside you and you tried to push it away, but it forced you to look at it.

You're sick, Y/N.

You almost forgot about that. Your body was filled with a wave of energy to fight back. This thought didn't last too long, and not before you're outta the dreamy world and back at Jaemin. You were right above him right now. Jaemin immediately used his defense, the closed side facing towards you. You hit the vessel making a loud noise, and it sort of felt that you were getting your panic attack again. It hadn't been a long time since you knew that your spatula wouldn't last against his vessel and now you didn't even have the time to go and change again. He took the advantage of your a-bit-too-late-realization and pounced over you. "Damn it! Is this how girls are when they're sick?!?! Oh pity those male doctors!!" It was kinda weird to hear these things from a guy's mouth, but you knew what an anti-girl person Jaemin was. It reminded you of your colleague Jungkook, who had the same behavior towards girls. Jaemin's arm slipped over, and he landed right on you. There was a worried expression on his face, to get close to you again, a fear of whether you might 'bam' him or not again. He immediately held you for support, but your body was doing nothing other than feeling weak- no mood to stay strong, so you got pulled away with Jaemin. He landed on ground with his back facing it, and had you in a such a position that his body was pressed against yours. Jaemin's face was centimeters apart from yours, and it reminded you of this days when he used to hold you this close. You both stayed still in the moment, processing what just happened. He waited a while, before he stretched out his hand to cup your face. He stroked your skin with his soft hands, a feeling of shiver running down your spine. "Everything's still the same, Y/N." Jaemin muttered. "I'll be here."

"Alright, have this, you'll be fine within half an hour." Jaemin gave you a huge tablet. "Are you sure?" You asked, nervousness filling you up. "Yes, the doctor's prescribed it.'' After having the medicine, you had a nice sleep while He cleaned up your room, and you woke up around six. "Morning, sleeping beauty." Jaemin's voice was heard across the room. Its like he knew that you were going to wake up right at this moment. Freaky how he does that.

Does he have to get back the flirting mode on? You rub your eyes, and try to get up, but due to the weakness inside, you fall back. Jaemin immediately notices and rushes towards you. "Does the medicine make you feel any better?" He asks, a caring tone occupying his voice. He puts his hand under your waist and tries to get you up, the bridal style. "What are you doing!? Move!" You shove his hand away, a stiffness taking shield over your body. "What? I was helping you get up." You saw the innocence in his voice and calmed down a bit. "It's alright, I can handle that."

He gives you a perplexed look and turns to the soft toy in his hand. "Alright, but I must admit, you have a great soft toy collection." Jaemin faces you again, this time with puppy eyes.

"NO. You're not going anywhere with Dolphie. Keep it back."

He turns towards the shelf while mumbling something to himself.

...

"HEY! I'M NOT A MEANIE!"

Jaemin left the dolphin on the shelf and your eyes were forced to shift their gaze towards the whole room. It was way cleaner than you could ever keep it. Everything was finally clean, not dust-coated as it used to stay. Your study table attracted your attention- looking brand new, as if it were just made yesterday. Jaemin must have some experience of helping old age people with their stuff back at his old house. "Wow. It's... pretty." You complimented his efforts. He smiles to you and lays over your bed. "You have pretty great stuff."

"I liked your journal the best."

You felt like throwing yourself outside the window. Or, it might be great to take him in too so he doesn't go around telling everybody about your crushes. "Literally, Y/N," You weren't prepared for what's next. What's he going to reveal? The time you crushed on your math teacher? Or when you imagined a boy naked? But what came out was way worse than all of the book.

"You had a wet dream with me?"

Oh no. Out of all of it this one was what he asked? The tension on your face rose up, blood rushing up to your cheeks. He looked at you and smirked. "Oh, don't worry sweetheart. I've read all of it." You couldn't handle a second before you smashed a pillow right at him. He took it by surprise, and actually got hit by the pillows. "Do girls hit people when they're shy?"

Crackhead.

A thought rose up in your mind. "Yes. They do. And if you get them too shy they might even stab you." Jaemin mocked a scared look on his face and then went, "Heh. You and your stupid girl jokes." You quickly needed something against him... a secret, maybe. You try to recall something embarrassing that he told you, and it strikes faster than you thought.

"I think you might die."

Jaemin's face was left expressionless, "Oh, all because I read your journal and now you're gonna stab me?"

"Close, but not exact."

Before you could tell him the exact reason why he might die, he pulls out a pink book, and turns out, it's nothing but your journal.

"Y/N-" Before any word could come out of that beautiful mouth of this crackhead, you reach out to grab the book from his hands. It seems like he doesn't even want to try, and you have the book in your hands within a flash.

You keep the book with you, hugging it as tight as possible, so that even if he tries to make a grab at it, he would fail. He lays down on your bed, the body-fit shirt hugging him tight. It seemed like his mood had completely changed. He chuckles, "You're still the same, you know? Nothing has changed." He held out your hand. Was he trying to change the topic?

You try to indulge into the conversation, asking "How? Everything has changed over the last decade."

Jaemin had changed completely, and that fact made you think that he would feel the same towards you. You saw a sense of maturity, more of responsibility in him. Ever since both of you separated, it had been hard to move on, every day and night spent in grief. But as usual, life strung the both of you along with it, and you both followed. You suddenly had flashbacks, that night in the club, the pool party... you immediately shook your head, wanting to forget all of the embarrassing moments of your life.

"Y/N, You know that the meeting's tomorrow, right?" Jaemin's face grew serious. "Do you have any idea how you're going to manage?" There was a tone of worriedness in his words. "C'mon! I almost became your wrestle buddy! I can handle it!! I'll just gulp down some of my medicines, and I'll be okay." Your conditions were streets ahead after you got some sleep. Everything felt finer, specially when you woke up to the perfect sight of the room you never had. You played with Jaemin's fingers and then reached out for his arms. You assured him, "Everything's going to be fine, only if I can control myself for puking on you." Not being able to control yourself, you giggled at Jaemin's widened eyes.

"I'm going to wear plastic on me then." You burst out into fits of laughter, "Like JYP?" Jaemin smiled upon you, "Yes."

After all of this, you were sure the trip would be fun, and you probably won't upload the next season of hunger games.

[metalbvcky]

*Shows up late to the Stucky/Marvel fandom Post-EG with Starbucks and dozens of fics that I’ve read in hand* So you guys like fanfiction?

Yeah so, because of quarantine I’ve been consuming a ton of fic. I’ve probably read over 1.5 million words in just a couple months. So why not share what I’ve been reading! Note that some of these are older (popular) fics so veteran Stucky peeps will probably know of them since I not too recently delved into the realm that is Stucky fanfic. :)  

Down below are over a dozen fics with different tropes, Canon/AU’s, and what not. Please do heed the tags on some of these. For the curious: My AO3 bookmarks. 

Also shoutout to @stuckylibrary, the mods over there are doing the lords work. 

Key:  ♥ = My fave, S = Smut, DS = Dom/Sub 

Heroes are Easy, People are Hard ♥ by Halbereth, Lorien - Words: 152,284 | CW Fix It, Slight Canon Divergence, Recovery, Slow Burn

Shuri and Wanda cleared Bucky's triggers shortly after Killmonger's attempted coup, and he and Steve went on the run. But it turns out there's more to "fixing Bucky's head" than "getting Hydra out of it." When a group of rogue scientists manage to neutralize the serum and make Steve very sick--pre-serum "this is bad" kind of sick--and they're cut off from contact with Wakanda, Bucky knows only one person with resources to help. He calls Tony and surrenders on the condition that Tony tries to help Steve.

From there, it's basically three variously messed-up guys’ trajectories from "This Is Fine", "Reasonably Speaking I Know It’s Fine", "I Will Be Fine With It" to actually being fine, guest-starring a far-better-adjusted teenage boy who climbs walls, a 1957 Ford Thunderbird, two women with a keen sense of the absurd, and Bruce, the Zen master of “it’s fine that it’s not fine.” Add in the fact that Bucky's been secretly in love with Steve since the thirties and things only get harder. Learning to be a person is the hardest thing Bucky Barnes will ever have to do--but he's got company along the way.

Reap The Whirlwind by Cristinuke - Words: 18,221 | Canon Universe, Post CW, Domestic 

Bucky finds a cat. Or rather, a cat finds him.

Your Favorite Ghost by augustbird - Words: 21,013 |  Canon Divergence, Post TWS

It's harder than Steve ever expected to bring Bucky home.

Despite the threatening sky and shuddering earth (they remained) ♥ by praximeter (Zimario) - Words: 71,532 | Canon Divergence TWS, Body Modifications 

“They really didn’t want the mask to come off.” Hill thumbed through the scans, and pulled out a film that she then handed over to Sam, face mostly expressionless but for the flat line of her pursed lips.

Sam accepted the film and held it up to the light, angling so both he and Steve could see it, squinting at the outline of the Winter Soldier’s skull, and the blips of unnatural white that showed up, God, in his brain, not to mention about half his teeth, plus the mask, with its thin protrusions—

“Those are pins,” Steve realized. He looked over at Hill. “The mask—it’s nailed to his face.”

Hill’s face was as unmoved as ever. “Like I said. They really didn’t want it coming off.”

This city bleeds its aching heart ♥ by Renne - Words: 34,537 | Canon Universe, Fake/Pretend Relationship 

The one where Steve and Bucky pose as a happily married couple while on a mission for SHIELD, to catch an international arms dealer hiding in a suburban neighbourhood.

The Best Way to Wake ♥ by LeeHan - Words: 42,293 | Post TFA, Canon Divergence TWS, Recovery 

James Buchanan Barnes lay in a glass pod in the middle of the table, frozen since he fell. Steve’s hands were on the glass before he realized he’d moved. “Wait, Captain!” “Get him out,” Steve whispered, his hands searching for a clasp, a keypad, something. “Captain, we need to keep him in stasis—“ “I said get him out!”

Infinite Coffee and Protection Detail ♥ series by owlet - Words: 264,438 | Canon Divergence (sort of) 

The mission resets abruptly, from objective: kill to objective: protect

Undersell, overcommit by silentwalrus - Words: 10,222 | Canon Universe 

Steve goes so hard for Bucky that he becomes a licensed, practicing massage therapist.

Sparked Up Like a Book of Matches by Sena - Words: 26,734 | Post-TWS, Canon Universe 

Steve lives in Stark Tower and doesn't have much to do when he's not going after Hydra strongholds. He attends charity events to make Pepper happy. He goes hiking with Sam. He hangs out with Clint in Bed-Stuy and watches Dog Cops. Sometimes Tony gives him super alcohol in a sippy cup. Sometimes he sees Bucky out of the corner of his eye and wonders if it's real or if he's starting to lose his mind.

Alternately, the one with terrible jokes, a foot chase through the Lower East Side, and a tiny little robot named Shitcan.

Sugar Sweet ♥ from the Red Velvet series by ColorCoated - Words: 173,400 | Modern/Sugar Daddy AU, Age Difference, Slow Burn

"What's your name?" It wasn't even a line. He was just pretty and Bucky wanted a name to go with that face. With that strong jawline. With those deep blue eyes. A little smirk, "Steve."

Awww, Steve. He looked like a Steve. Bucky pursed his lips in a way he hoped was attractive, "You should buy me a drink."

College Student Bucky finds himself immediately attracted to Steve. He knows that Steve's a bit older than him, and that Steve himself is put off by the age difference. . . But that doesn't stop Bucky from wanting to climb him like a tree.

Steve and Bucky Go Away for the Weekend (and cook a lot) ♥ by E_Greer -  Words: 30,126 | Canon Universe, Domestic 

In which Steve coaxes Bucky out of the Tower for a birthday weekend away and sweet, fluffy domesticity ensues. Phlintasha helps keep Bucky calm, Steve has Opinions about how you set the table, stories are told, greenhouses are toured, baths are had, books are read, tears are shed, stars are gazed upon, and everyone makes Bucky feel loved. Includes Friday night dinner, Saturday morning breakfast, Saturday lunch, Saturday dinner, and Sunday brunch.

Dona Nobis Pacem by thegraytigress - Words: 65,214 | Canon Universe, Recovery 

"This job... We try to save as many people as we can. Sometimes it doesn't mean everybody, but if we can't find a way to live with that... Next time maybe nobody gets saved."

An incident on the battlefield exposes how much Steve's falling apart under the crushing weight of leading the Avengers after Sokovia. Now Bucky's adopting a new mission: save Steve before he destroys himself completely, even if it means the end of Captain America.

Give 'Em Hope ♥ by L1av - Words: 130,022 | Modern/Hospital AU, UA/Age Difference 

Dr. Steve Rogers likes to think that if his patients have hope- their chances of survival will increase. Bucky Barnes has a 20% chance of survival and a desperate yearning to experience life. Against Steve's better judgment, he develops a relationship with his patient. It's illegal. It's wrong. But it's giving Bucky the hope to keep going, so Steve's going to keep giving it, because he wants Bucky to survive. He needs him to.

You belong (to me) by hermionesmydawg - Words: 29,759 | S, DS, Canon Compliant, Post CW

"Hold on." Bucky lifted a finger and backed out of the doorway, returning a moment later with his cell phone. He snapped a photo of Steve, typed a few words, and then returned to his apple. "What the hell were you doing at a sex club last night?"

"Not having sex, if that's what you're wondering." An alert sounded from Steve's nightstand - a new Snapchat message. He rolled his eyes and unlocked his phone. Sam was always sending stupid Snapchats and frankly, Steve couldn't figure that goddamn app out and cursed whoever created that piece of shit.

The chat wasn't from Sam this time, however. It was a picture of himself, not looking guilty at all, with the caption "when your buddy catches you looking at p*rn."

Circling Back from the It’s Not Linear series by chaya - Words: 59,642 (Series Total: 136,782) | Canon Divergence

Steve looks for Bucky, Bucky finds Steve, Steve tries desperately to put Bucky back together. Bucky tries desperately to let him.

Continuing Education by 743ish, romanticalgirl - Words: 14,443 | S, Canon Universe/College, Shrunkyclunks 

Steve is invited to be a guest lecturer on the WWII unit for Bucky's college course. Bucky's more than happy to glean any extra knowledge (in more than just history) from Steve, and Steve's happy to eductate him. But then Bucky has to decide if he can handle the fact that Steve throws himself into danger, and if the sex is worth it. Or if it's not just sex anymore.

Salt & Sugar by GoldBlooded, stfustucky - Words: 19,598 | Modern/Restaurant AU

Steve Rogers is a bigshot celebrity chef in New York City, and Bucky Barnes is a classically trained pastry chef in Moscow.

When billionaire and mutual friend Natasha Romanoff calls on them to collaborate for her Memorial Day Benefit Gala, they both brace themselves to spend the week working with some jerk they're bound to hate. Except... Steve makes a burger that could bring Bucky to tears, and Bucky makes tartlets so beautiful Steve's sure they qualify as art. Maybe, just maybe, together they could make this a night to remember.

@/sgtbarnes1917 and @/cptrogers1918 by BayleyWinchester - Words: 114,203 | Canon Universe, Social Media Fic 

Bucky Barnes broke Twitter with one photo

Proprietary Information ♥ from the Additional Information series by notlucy - Words: 85,141 (Series Total: 165,871) | Modern AU, Age difference, Slow Burn

Okay, so Bucky Barnes has a crush on Steve Rogers. The guy's gorgeous, talented and, oh yeah, the Chief Design Officer of the biggest tech company in the world. In other words: he's so far out of Bucky's league that he might as well be in a different stratosphere.

Deep in the Woods (Where My Heart Has Been Waiting) by SilverMyfanwy - Words: 15,353 | Pioneer-AU, Shrinkyclinks 

Steve Rogers gets lost in the woods in a snowstorm. Bucky Barnes takes him in. Pioneer-era AU ish with Shrinkyclinks, evil chickens and a cabin in the woods.

A Bucky Odyssey by inediblesushi, thorstbench - Words: 9,952 | Shrinkyclinks,  Cap!Bucky, Nurse!Steve  

Bucky Barnes, Captain America, has a plan to make Steve Rogers, SHIELD nurse, fall in love with him. Confiding in the Internet might not be the best idea, though. So when the bad pick up lines do not work and Steve looks determined to staying single, he decides to be more himself and less what he thinks he should be.

At first I wanted to wait to post this until I finished a few more fics from my ever growing read-later list but what the heck, now or never! I’ll probably end up making a part 2 reclist by the amount of fic I’m reading these days. 

Happy reading and stay safe out there fellow Stucky trash members!!

[dontcall-sleeping]

If I was to (negatively) review acosf on three things here's how it would go:

- usually I'd add a point for world building but this is like 5 books into the series so I'm not talking about that rn

- let me know if there's any plot points or characters or relationships you want me to talk about

- should I do a positive review of the book too? Like talking about things I liked?

1. Plot:

First off, the main plot seemed very repetitive when you compare it to the main trilogies plot. "Find the magical objects to stop the big bad villain". I realize that Nesta's recovery was a bigger focus of the book but this was just kind of lazy.

The sideplot of Rhys and Feyres pregnancy pissed me off to an extreme level. First off, pregnancy is supposed to be rare in this universe and the fact that within a year or so they're already pregnant makes me uncomfortable. Especially since last time we checked in with Feysand they said they weren't planning on getting pregnant. The fact that in such an advanced world the baby had wings and Feyre didn't was a major problem is ridiculous. "she'll lose too much blood with a c section". That was incredibly unbelievable but I won't rant too much about it.

Then Rhysand keeping the fact that Feyre would die in the pregnancy was ridiculous because regardless of his reasons he had no right to keep it from her. And the idea that even their doctor wouldn't tell Feyre was also infuriating. This was just another example of Rhysands actions being excused on the basis of "I was protecting her" or "it was better for her" or whatever. I don't wanna hear it I despised it.

2. Characters

Let's start with Nesta, she was written pretty well for a character that was struggling mentally but any of her interactions that weren't with the Valkyries or sexual with Cassian always framed her as the bad guy even though it was written from her POV.

Feyre showed zero development since the past books and I was disappointed that her amazing powers didn't play a bigger role in anything at all. Her pregnancy basically prevented her from showing the growth I was hoping from her. And I feel like even though she was the MC, she's been reduced to Rhys' mate which is kind of sad.

Elain is still pretty bland to me and I have no desire for her to be mated with Az and I hope she doesn't doesn't a romantic relationship with Lucien bc I love him. That's all

Cassian seemed very eager for a Feysand like relationship but when the chance came I feel like he could've done so much more. I also feel like there was no addressing his previous actions where he insulted Nesta multiple times. *more in the romance section

I didn't read the Az bonus chapter but I got the gist. Tbh I feel like him wanting Elain is like a phase and he'll be over her soon enough. He's one of the only people I think who hasn't badmouthed Nesta so he's still good in my books. I don't see him being shipped with Elain at all and there's potential with Gwyn but I still haven't developed too much of an opinion yet.

Amrens character was really fun for me in the earlier books but looking at it now I could do without her. Her pressuring Rhys to take the high king title kind of ruined her for me and I feel like it was just an opportunity for sjm to make Rhys seem like a better guy when he refused. Also it made no sense anyway since the high king thing was something they were trying to prevent in the previous books.

Mor wasn't too present in this book, I know she wasn't the biggest fan of Nesta but I don't completely hate her yet. I feel like maybe if we saw more development with her in her assurance in herself, rather than a love interest I'd be more interested in that. I'd also like to uncover more about her past with Eris because I actually really like him.

Speaking of Eris, all I want to say is that I hope he becomes friends with Nesta because there are so many parallels between them and we already know Nesta isn't gonna become besties with the IC. At least I hope not.

Gwyn and Emerie were great I'd love for them to be Nesta's support system and continue as major characters in the books. I don't have any complaints about their characters or the House.

Last is the villain, I know the name started with K but that's about all I remember. That's how memorable they were. (I can't even remember the pronouns, we'll go with he) is it koshei? Something like that anyway. I'm sure you can already tell I didn't find him interesting. Similar to Hybern, there wasn't a lot of depth in the character or in the motives.

3. Romance

We're not talking about Feysand because I'm sick of them and I've already forgotten about them thank you.

Nessian had so much potential but looking back at the way they were written I'd be better off without the ship. I feel like we get nothing from Cassian about actually appreciating Nesta and her personality and her company and all of the things couples do. They were kind of just reduced to sex buddies if yk what I mean. I feel like sjm heard the word sex and just kind of went overboard and just forgot about everything else. It felt like she'd set them up at the beginning and just kind of ran with it and forgot about details and why they actually felt attraction towards each other and why the two felt they were right for each other. For nesta after a major mental health journey a relationship seemed like the last thing she needed but it was all put out to be as simple as "she needs a love interest and she loves him because I said so". I guess what I'm trying to say is Nesta is such a deep character but her relationship with Cassian was so surface-y and black and white.

I still ship Az with no one and Lucien with no one. Ngl Eris for Nesta is looking pretty good rn.

[gottlem]

summer fl(in)g. gigi/crystal

a/n i made crystal sad about 3/4 through and im SORRY i was projecting. anyways theres a tiny tiny bit of angst but MOST of this is just dumb gays in l*ve. im still getting used to writing fics so be nice pls !!!! also if u want a pt2 be sure to let me know!

summary: lockdown in summer can be lonely, but Crystal and Gigi make sure they never feel alone. thank god they have good service. (3.8k words)

When lockdown was announced, Crystal wasn’t surprised. The pandemic was taking the world by storm and yeah, it fucking terrified her. But she had to look on the bright side. So that's what she did. Just as the announcement came to an end, Crystal’s phone pinged from her pocket and she smiled to see her friends' names light up on the screen.

JANtastic: well its official

miss cox: Yeah I’m gonna miss u guys!!!

goodegirl: you say that as if u won’t be spending lockdown with jan. i’ll be ALONE thanks for asking

CRYstal: hey i’ll be alone too !!! I’ll text u everyday to keep u company :-))

goodegirl: i’m gonna hold u up to that

And Gigi did hold her up to that. The country was two days into lockdown when Crystal received her first message.

goodegirl: ugh we are how many days into lockdown? And ive already had A MILLION people hit me up with “hows quarantine treating u ;)” i am SICK.

When Crystal read the text, an odd feeling bubbled in her stomach. She told herself it was because she wasn’t used to out-of-the-blue messages from Gigi yet, they just didn’t talk that much, but looking back she admits there was probably (definitely) more to it than that. Of course the girls had already been friends, but Crystal had never found it in herself to speak to Gigi that much because, well, she was intimidatingly gorgeous. They got on well in groups, where Crystal could try to focus her attention on someone who didn’t make her face red every time she looked at her, but she knew if she invited Gigi out by themselves, she would make a fool of herself. It was stupid really, it wasn’t even like she had feelings for her - she was just too pretty, and Crystal didn’t know how to handle herself around someone who looked like they belonged in a vogue magazine. A ping shook her from her thoughts.

goodegirl: like i get that ppl are thirsty rn. i get it. i am too. but is that really the BEST they can come up with?

Crystal needed to reply. But what could she even say to that?

CRYstal: at least u have people trying to hit you up ://

goodegirl: omg what??? ur telling me not ONE person has tried to slide into those dms? they need to get on that! ur a catch

Crystal felt her face flush at the comment. Did Gigi really think she was a catch? Or maybe she’s just being nice? That was probably it. Just friendly banter. 

CRYstal: nope haha! ANYWAYS. hows quarantine treating u ;-)

goodegirl: very funny. bitch.

From then on, the texts flowed easily between the two and Crystal started to ask herself why she hadn’t done this earlier. So what if Gigi was offensively attractive? They clicked so easily - Gigi was smart, quick witted, and didn’t take anything too seriously. So really, she was Crystal's perfect match. As a friend. Platonically. That night, they texted until Crystal was struggling to even keep her eyes open. It was a conversation that felt natural to them, bringing up anything that came into their heads and letting eachother start stupid tangents without fear of judgement. Gigi found Crystal's ability to ramble on about any random subject impossibly endearing, but she wouldn’t admit that out loud. Not yet, anyways.

--

After three days of almost constant texting, Crystal facetimed Gigi for the first time. She picked up within seconds with wide eyes and a grin on her face. 

“Hey you” If Crystal couldn’t see her smile (which she absolutely could) then she could definitely hear it. Gigi’s voice was soft and she hadn’t realised how much she missed it until she was reminded of it. The best thing was that Gigi sounded genuinely happy to speak to Crystal, it made her ecstatic. Crystal had called in the late afternoon, just before the sun had started to set, so she could see golden light shining gently onto Gigi’s features. It left her speechless for a second. How many times was Gigi going to leave her completely unable to reply by merely talking to her? This girl was going to be the death of her. When Crystal finally came to, she managed out a soft, but casual, reply, hoping that she had covered up the embarrassing amount of time it took for her to speak. If Gigi noticed, she didn’t mention it. 

It took them a while to get into the rhythm of actually talking to each other - texts made it easy to think over before you send, and Gigi had never really been one to think before she spoke aloud anyway. She didn’t want to scare Crystal off with how blunt she could be, but after some awkward laughs and stuttered jokes, the pair slowly fell into a rhythm they felt surprisingly comfortable in; they bounced off each other's jokes and soon enough their cheeks hurt from smiling. A few hours into the call, Crystal was sitting comfortably on her bed, her phone propped up with pillows so she and Gigi could still see each other. She caught herself staring again. It started off as small glances that lingered a bit longer than they should, but it was easy to do that and quickly cover it up, especially on facetime. Soon enough, Crystal would completely daze off for minutes, just staring at the girl on her screen. She figured out she really liked looking at Gigi, and Gigi didn’t seem to mind.

Gigi thinks Crystal’s voice is her favourite sound. After about 5 minutes of hearing run on sentences about god knows what, she had already decided she could listen to her talk forever. About anything. She really didn’t care as long as it was Crystal and she was talking to her. As the call progressed into the late hours of the night, the pair had started to get giggly - the tiredness they were feeling was starting to take effect, but it made them anything but sleepy. At 11:56pm, Gigi decided Crystal’s laugh was her second favourite sound. She would sometimes giggle, sometimes she’d shake with silent laughter, but her favourite was when she gave into a full-belly laugh. The kind of laugh that substitutes for a full core workout. That was Gigi’s favourite. 

Crystal was obsessed with Gigi’s smile. It softened Gigi, showed a side of her that Crystal hadn’t been acquainted to previously, but she was so glad she knew now. Gigi could be harsh sometimes, she had learned this years ago and had just accepted it as who Gigi was, but after seeing that damn smile, it was hard to think that Gigi was even capable of hurting a fly. Crystal was quick to realise the mean girl facade (which had only made her scarier to talk to, and somehow more attractive) was just that - a facade. Walls she had built up. Crystal was eager to break them down, and she felt like she was making a good start everytime Gigi smiled like that.

They hung up when Gigi started yawning more than she was talking, she insisted it was just because she was tired, and Crystal wholeheartedly believed her. When Gigi’s face disappeared from her screen, Crystal was still smiling. Her cheeks hurt and she felt whole. She took a deep breath and took in the silence for a moment - she was alone again. She didn’t feel lonely. Despite her ever-growing fatigue, Crystal just couldn’t fall asleep, her head was buzzing with Gigi’s voice, and her laugh, and her smile, and her eyes, and- Crystal was in deep shit. She was all too familiar with the feeling of butterflies manifesting in her stomach, the thoughts of a particular person on her mind constantly. To be completely honest, she hated it. Falling for anyone had never ended well for her, and falling for someone she was already friends with? Even worse. There was no way this would end without somebody getting hurt, and that somebody would probably be Crystal. And yet, being stuck in isolation, she thought the idea of possibly having a girlfriend didn’t sound too bad, but that might have been the lack of human contact talking. 

Gigi let her thoughts wonder as she drifted off into sleep. She wasn’t one to get crushes, but when she fell, she fell hard. And willingly. There was just something about the drama of having such strong feelings for someone, and playing guessing games on how they felt. And by the way Crystal had been staring at her all night, Gigi felt like she was on the right tracks. She liked the way her cheeks would flush if she thought too hard about the girl, or how butterflies would dance around in her stomach, making her feel lighter than a feather. Maybe she was just a hopeless romantic, but she wouldn’t have it any other way. She allowed herself to dream up scenarios of herself and Crystal being together once this whole situation was over. She quite liked how it looked in her head. 

--

As the days passed, Gigi and Crystal found themselves spending more of their waking hours talking to each other over facetime than they did doing anything else. They were both falling quickly, only mildly aware of each other's adoration. It didn’t take very long for the casual flirting to start. Everytime Gigi gave an off-handed compliment about how Crystal sounded “really pretty today” or how her laugh is “the prettiest thing”, the other girl would turn bright red and freeze up. Gigi would tease her about it, which only made her more and more flustered. She thought she’d eventually get used to it, but she never did. Crystal tried to flirt back,really tried,  she wanted more than anything to make Gigi stumble over her words like she does to her so often, but she would always be completely unfazed by every compliment Crystal could think of. Crystal found her ability to keep her composure so easily both irritating and compelling. 

It took Crystal a few days to find something that would finally, finally break Gigi down. Pet names. When she had casually let ‘babe’ slip in the middle of a sentence, she could practically see the breath that got stuck in Gigi’s throat before she started to choke on nothing but air. When Crystal asked if she was ok, she answered with a question.

“Did you just call me babe?”

“Yeah. Is that a problem?” Crystal genuinely wanted to make sure that it was ok, but the comment came off as less of a question, and more as straight up flirting. 

“No. Nope. Not a problem at all. What were we talking about?”

Crystal doesn’t press further, taking pride in being able to make the girl so speechless, and continues what she was saying as if nothing had stopped her in the first place. She watched as Gigi’s blush died down very, very slowly, only to watch it burn up again every time Crystal repeated the pet name. She absolutely adored it. 

“You’re cute when you blush, babe” Gigi made a noise at this. Crystal made a note of that before deciding that this would never get old.

--

Soon enough, the girls were in a comfortable routine - talking every day until one of them would give in to sleep. It was usually Crystal. Gigi would stay on the call for a bit, just to listen to the girl’s breathing, it provided an unexpected comfort to her. Plus Crystal was adorable when she slept. The routine was broken one day about a month into the lockdown, though nobody was really paying attention to what day it was anyway. Gigi had been awake for no more than an hour when she started to miss Crystal, so she gave her a call. Crystal didn’t pick up. Gigi called again, just in case Crystal had her phone on silent, but she was met with no answer. Instead, she was sent a text, a text which really didn’t explain anything. At all.

CRYstal: hey !!! sorry can’t pick up rn but i promise u i will call in like an hour or two ???? speak to u soon love !!!! <3

It was unusual for Crystal to miss out on a call - she was usually the one to be ringing Gigi. What could she even be doing? Gigi needed a distraction, something to pass the time instead of sitting and waiting. That was when she realised she hadn’t worn any makeup in weeks, so she sat herself down and started on a full face - the process of doing her makeup always calmed her down, so it was a welcome distraction. Just as she finished, her phone began ringing. She didn’t have to check to see who it was. 

“Hi! Sorry I didn’t answer before I was kinda busy” Gigi was speechless. A pixelated Crystal was beaming at her from her phone screen. And she had green hair now. This is why she didn’t pick up? The bitch was dyeing her hair? It did look really pretty though. Like, really, really pretty.

“Quarantines really getting to you that much huh?” Gigi decided against gushing about Crystal’s new hair - that would be giving her what she wanted.

“Do you like it?” She loved it. Adored it. 

“It’s nice” 

“That’s all you’re going to say?”

“Needy are we?” That shut her up. She changed the topic in an instant. 

“So... you look really pretty today!”

That night, the girls fell back into their easy routine. It had been hours since she first saw it, but Gigi couldn’t keep her eyes off of Crystal and her new look. It really suited her. It just felt so utterly Crystal. The green haired girl was in the middle of a long rant about how One DIrection “are definitely planning a reunion really really soon” when Gigi had to stop her.

“I fucking love your hair, Crys” She blushed at the out-of-the-blue compliment.

“Really? I thought it was just nice?” Gigi shook her head.

“I was teasing, of course I love it. It suits you so much, you look beautiful” She was smiling ear to ear. Crystal loved it when Gigi gushed over her like this. It made her feel like there could be something there, like this was more than friends bored in quarantine.

“Thanks,” Crystal paused for just a moment before her face lit up “Oh my God, you should do something to your hair too!” Gigi hated that idea, and shook her head affectionately at the girl's adorable excitement. She felt slightly bad when she told her that she would be caught dead before doing anything to her hair - she loved the deep brown colour it had always been, and was happy with how the length framed her face. Crystal however, was incessant. Gigi was surprised when she found herself telling Crystal that she’d “think about” changing her hair up. 

Saying this was a huge mistake. Crystal reminded her every other hour that she had to dye it or cut it or just do something, and it drove Gigi insane. It took her all but two days to finally cave in - it irked her that Crystal had this much power over her. She wanted to do something shocking, something that would shut Crystal up about her damn hair for good. So she shaved it. 

She did it when Crystal fell asleep after a particularly heated debate about her hair (the second of the night) and Gigi hung up to get to work on it. To call it an impulse decision wasn’t perhaps the most accurate, seeing as though she had been bugged about it for a solid 48 hours, but waking up that morning, Gigi hadn’t expected that all her hair would be gone by the time she went to sleep. Once she had finally bitten the bullet, it took her an hour to admit that she actually kind of liked the look - plus it was fun to touch. 

When Crystal called her that morning, Gigi took a moment to herself before answering. She hadn’t told her about the change in her appearance and hoped she would like it, or at least be pleased that Gigi finally listened to her. She took a breath and picked up, feigning confidence with a casual “morning!”. She watched Crystal’s eyes go wide and her hands cover her mouth. Gigi acted oblivious.

“What's up? Is there someone behind me or something?” She looked at her screen and patiently waited until Crystal composed herself - she was used to her staring anyway. When Crystal finally spoke, she was practically squealing out a string of compliments. Apparently, she loved it. 

“Are you keeping it like that? Please say you’re keeping it like that, it's so hot” Gigi wasn’t sure if she would grow it out, but after Crystal had said that, it was an easy decision.

“I guess I’ll keep it then. Just for you”

--

Crystal loved being so open with Gigi, and she really appreciated how close they had gotten during lockdown - but she really just needed today off. She had woken up one morning with a feeling of dread that she couldn’t quite place, and a persistent headache. This was going to be a bad day, but she was used to bad days. She ignored Gigi’s calls and sent no follow up text. She could speak to Gigi later. Right now, she was just going to go back to sleep. 

So that's what she did. She woke up in the late afternoon and finally dragged herself out of bed to make some food in the evening. When she got back to the safety of her bed, she was still tired. And she kind of felt like crying. So she cried. Sometimes, especially on bad days, Crystal’s mind could get the best of her, she had learned to just let herself get all her feelings out when she got like this - bottling them up had only ever made them worse. This was when Gigi called for the millionth time that day, her texts had become concerned, then angry, then concerned again. Crystal felt like she owed an explanation, so with bloodshot eyes and a puffy red face, Crystal finally picked up.

“Ugh finally! You haven’t spoken to me all day I- what’s wrong?” Crystal felt a ping of guilt at Gigi’s initial response to her answering. Had she really kept her waiting all day? It felt silly, like an unreasonable excuse, but deep down Crystal knew what was good for her. She also didn’t know how to answer Gigi’s question. She was starting to regret picking up, having Gigi see her like this - god, she must have looked a mess.

“I’m sorry I shouldn’t have picked up. I'm probably bringing the mood down” She saw Gigi’s features become impossibly softer at that.

“Hey, no, it's ok. We don’t have to talk about it, but we can if you want to. But you’re not hanging up. And neither am I. If it means I sit in complete silence with you for the next few hours then so be it” 

This was when Crystal knew Gigi was a keeper. Whether whatever they had going on would continue, or whether they would return to strictly just friends, Gigi was someone she needed to keep in her life. They eventually started talking, first it was about how Gigi’s day went - Crystal didn’t feel like speaking much, but once she warmed up to seeing that all-familiar smile, she felt comfortable enough to start to open up. They talked for hours. Crystal cried. Gigi cried (though not as much). 

“I just wish I could be there to help, or at least give you a hug or something, god this sucks” Crystal saw this as an opportunity to lighten the mood.

“As if you would settle for just a hug” Crystal winked pitifully and Gigi laughed, but didn’t disagree. 

Of course one chat didn’t fix Crystal’s problems, but at least now she had someone in her corner - and that was half the battle.

--

It didn’t take the pair very long to fall back into their rhythm, feeling closer and more comfortable with each other, their feelings getting stronger as each day passed on. Crystal found herself falling back into the habit of sitting silent, and admiring the girl on her screen.

“You’re staring.” Gigi told her. Crystal hummened in agreement.

“You’re pretty”

It was normal for the pair to bounce words like pretty, and beautiful, and gorgeous between them. It was as if they both knew exactly how the other felt - like it was completely unspoken and yet so obvious. And maybe it was.

Two months into lockdown, Gigi was really starting to miss physical contact - she was starting to feel a thrill when she made eye contact with strangers on her way to her weekly shop, she was getting desperate. It was brought up with Crystal.

“I just miss human contact. I want to hold a hand. I want someone to hug me. I want a kiss! Oh my god I miss kissing.” Crystal felt herself blushing at the mention of kissing (kissing Gigi, nonetheless). She would give anything to see Gigi right now, to be close to her.

“When this is over, I’ll kiss you, don’t even worry about it” Crystal was only half joking. GIgi went red, but tried to act as if the thought of Crystal kissing her didn’t phase her at all.

“Oh will you now?”

“I’m not kidding”

“Well. I’d very much like that Miss Methyd” Gigi gave in, she refused to play hard to get with someone who she had fallen so hard for. She just hoped Crystal would stick to her word.

--

Summer was halfway through when lockdown was lifted. The instant the announcement was made, Crystal phone pinged - it wasJan, and she suddenly felt a wave of deja vu from when the lockdown started.

JANtastic: GUYSSSSSS i’ve missed you so much PLEASE say y’all are free to meet? Like right now?!?! 

JANtatsic: Jackie’s already with me so, she’s down too :))

CRYstal: i’ve missed you too !!! i’m free to meet!

goodegirl: me too !!

The group reunited within an hour, Crystal shed some happy tears, and Gigi laughed as she wiped them for her. It was nice to be with her, to be able to stand next to each other. But it also felt odd - like something had shifted now that they were right in front of each other. So for the rest of summer, the girls shared lingering glances and awkward smiles, too scared to make an official move.

[acutest-angle]

131,132,133,134,135,136,137,138,139,140,141,142,143,144,145,146,147,148,149,150,151,152,153,154,155,156,157,158,159,160,161,162,163,164,165,166,167,168,169&170

LAST PART

131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself?

my ability to just be so chill about things ig

it gives me anxiety how much i do not care about some things

132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures?

mmm depends on the picture but in selfies normally

133: Computer or TV?

computer

134: Do you like roller coasters?

HELL THE FUCK YEAH I DO

135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness?

i get motion sick but not seasick

136: Are your ears lobed or attached?

lobed (i have never seen that word before, ive seen attached and unattached)

137: Do you believe in karma?

my roommate is a hindu and she explained it a little bit differently than what i had previously known it as and i believe in the version she told me (that i will completely fuck up if i try to explain so im just not gonna)

138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are?

idk like an 8 probably

yall im a snack

139: What nicknames do you have/have had?

nell (or nel if ur a monster), piper, nellis, nellie (thats like technically a nickname)

140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends?

yeah i have

when i was little i had two imaginary boyfriends one of them was named werewolf (he was a werewolf) and the other was blue blah (he was a blue blob that resembles that blob from monster vs aliens)

141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink?

fuck yeah i have babe

142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others?

i would say i have a bad influence but i want to have a good influence

its just not in my nature tho

143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help?

giving gifts

144: What makes you angry

not a lot of things tbh

ignorance

145: How many languages do you speak fluently?

one and its called dumb bitch (english)

146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries?

As A Gay: gorls

147: Are you androgynous?

I can be

148: Favorite physical thing about yourself:

my ass and my hair

149: Favorite thing about your personality:

i like my sense of humor and tbh my compassion

150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person.

KAI @studiomayaz PLEASE COME HOME :(((

@thatnormalcrazygirl weve never met in person but ur gonna come visit eventually and thats the tea

any one of my friends really im very lonely rn

151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose?

i very much like the present with our womens rights and modern medicine and technology

152: Do you like BuzzFeed?

yeah man

153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.]

aint got one unfortunately 

154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons?

i like the kiss the top of peoples heads

155: Do you like to play with others’ hair?

I REALLY FRICKEN DO MAN

156: What embarrasses you?

everything i do in a public space

157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious:

oh everything man

school, my future, the police, etc.

158: Biggest lie you have ever told:

now why would i tell you that ;)

159: How many people are you following?

444

160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)?

62,466

161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)?

0 because i dont make original posts on main

162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)?

61,157

163: Last time you cried and why:

after my grandmothers funeral because my step mother is a Fat Bitch

164: Do you have long or short hair?

short

165: Longest your hair has ever been:

just past my shoulder blades

166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon?

bad familial experience 

167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created?

i find it to be compelling but not necessarily important

168: Do you like to wear makeup?

i do but not daily 

169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds?

yeah if i wanted to break my neck, killing me immediately

170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully?

yeah i did

[mamezuke]

I was forced to do all, so do all 150

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?- Yesterday with one of my friends during biology! Jokingly tho

2. Are you outgoing or shy?- Honestly?? Both

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?- No one as of right now

4. Are you easy to get along with?- I think I am?

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?- I hope they would

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?- I’m honestly not sure in all honesty, I just get random crushes on whoever

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?- hmmm Maybe!

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?- Ryan Reynolds!!!

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?- Not usually

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?- One of my friends a few minutes ago!!

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?- “My whole town’s power went down :/ ”

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?- Mr. Blue sky, Devilman no Uta, Me & your Mama, Redbone, & Sweatpants!

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?- I love it when ppl do it

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?- Yep

15. What good thing happened this summer?- I lost some weight!

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?- Honestly yes

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?- Absolutely!

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?- I haven’t seen him around much lately but no

19. Do you like bubble baths?- Yes!

20. Do you like your neighbors?- I don’t have problems with them

21. What are you bad habits?- biting my lips

22. Where would you like to travel?- Italy

23. Do you have trust issues?- Sorta

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?- Going to sleep

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?- my stomach and inner thighs

26. What do you do when you wake up?- Go back to sleep

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?- I’m fine with my skin color tbh, wish I had no acne

28. Who are you most comfortable around?- My friends!

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?- yeah

30. Do you ever want to get married?- definitely!

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?- yep, a very short pony tail tho

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?- Chris Pratt and Ryan Reynolds

33. Spell your name with your chin.- Zvdsvvf

34. Do you play sports? What sports?- I don’t play any but I might do track and fencing next year!

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?- Tv

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?- All the time lol

37. What do you say during awkward silences?- So uh…..yeah

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?- Maybe someone who cares a lot of about me? Some who is sweet and kindhearted

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?- Sephora and Ulta LOL

40. What do you want to do after high school?- Move out and go to college!

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?- Depends in the person and what they did

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?- I’m probs mad

43. Do you smile at strangers?- yeah

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?- Outer space!!

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?- NOTHING

46. What are you paranoid about?- Nothing really

47. Have you ever been high?- Nope

48. Have you ever been drunk?- Once

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?- YEAH….god I hate myself

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?- Blue

51. Ever wished you were someone else?- All the time

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?- flatter tummy

53. Favourite makeup brand?- Kat Von D( or Too Faced)

54. Favourite store?- Sephora

55. Favourite blog?- @ bomberbee

56. Favourite colour?- Pink

57. Favourite food? - Scrambled eggs!

58. Last thing you ate?- Bread

59. First thing you ate this morning?- Bread

60. Ever won a competition? For what?- I’ve never been in a competition?

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?- Nope

62. Been arrested? For what?- nope

63. Ever been in love? - Maybe

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?- LOL that’s too personal

65. Are you hungry right now?- yessz

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?- Sometimes I do

67. Facebook or Twitter?- Twitter

68. Twitter or Tumblr?- Tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now?- Nope

70. Names of your bestfriends? - Marija & Caren

71. Craving something? What?- Meat!!

72. What colour are your towels?- White and black

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?- 5

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?- yep

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?- Like two

75. Favourite animal?- Red panda

76. What colour is your underwear?- Black

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?- Chocolate

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?- Cookies n cream

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?- Black

80. What colour pants?- NO PANTS!!

81. Favourite tv show?- The 100

82. Favourite movie?- Ponyo

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?- I haven’t in watched the second one

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?- 21 jump street

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?- Janis

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?- Nemo?

87. First person you talked to today?- My mom lol

88. Last person you talked to today?- Lol…..my mom again

89. Name a person you hate?- ehhh don’t wanna

90. Name a person you love?- I don’t love anyone rn

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?- Yep

92. In a fight with someone?- Not rly??

93. How many sweatpants do you have?- probs 5

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?- Too many

95. Last movie you watched?- Guardians of the Galaxy

96. Favourite actress?- Sophia Vergara

97. Favourite actor?- Chris Pratt!!

98. Do you tan a lot?- I tan easily and it usually lasts a few months but I don’t do tan sprays or anything

99. Have any pets?- 5!! 3 dogs and 2 cats

100. How are you feeling?- Sick!!

101. Do you type fast?- I think I type pr fast

102. Do you regret anything from your past?- Yep, too many things

103. Can you spell well?- Over text?? No lol I give up on grammar when I’m texting

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?- Yeah

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?- Yep once !

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?- Not that I know of

107. Have you ever been on a horse?- Once in Colombia!

108. What should you be doing?- Probably doing homework

109. Is something irritating you right now?- the fact that the power isn’t back on yet

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?- Yeah

111. Do you have trust issues?- Sometimes

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?- My cats!

113. What was your childhood nickname?- Morena

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?- Yep

115. Do you play the Wii?- I still do!

116. Are you listening to music right now?- Nope

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?- Yep

118. Do you like Chinese food?- Yes

119. Favourite book?- 1Q84

120. Are you afraid of the dark?- only a bit

121. Are you mean?- At time

122. Is cheating ever okay?- It’s never okay

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?- No lolol

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?- Nooo

125. Do you believe in true love?- Yes

126. Are you currently bored?- Very

127. What makes you happy?- cats

128. Would you change your name?- Yep! To Noelia

129. What your zodiac sign?- Sagittarius

130. Do you like subway?- Nah

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?- My best friend of the op sex is gay LOL

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

133. Favourite lyrics right now?- “ I fall in love too easily”

134. Can you count to one million?- Probably if I had the patience

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?- “ I’m not lying!”

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?- Semi-open

137. How tall are you?- 5'4!

138. Curly or Straight hair?- Both? My hair is pretty wavy

139. Brunette or Blonde?- Brunette as of right now but I’m gonna bleach is soon!!

140. Summer or Winter?- Summer

141. Night or Day?- Night

142. Favourite month?- May

143. Are you a vegetarian?- Nope, I wouldn’t see myself as one either

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?- White chocolate

145. Tea or Coffee?- Tea

146. Was today a good day?- Ehh, the power in my town left so not really

147. Mars or Snickers?- Mars

148. What’s your favourite quote?- “ I’m awake but my world is half asleep”

149. Do you believe in ghosts?- Yep

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? (via catscuddlingandyou)- “Such men as he be never at heart’s ease”

[5sos-aka-life]

i’m gonna be a massive dick and ask: 1-100

HAHAHAH alright well here we go then. Also thank you from saving me from the world’s most boring lecture rn.

Everything will be under a read more inorder to save people’s dash but feel free to learn more about me haha.

1. The meaning behind my url: 

I feel like its kinda self explanatory. I made this back when I was a giant 5sos fan and I’m too lazy to change it and idk what I would change it to if I did. I might soon though.

2. A picture of me:

3. How many tattoos i have and what they are:

I have 1 tattoo currently and it’s a pinky promise. I got it with a former friend. I have a couple more planned I just need money for them.

4. Last time i cried and why:

Like 2 weeks ago because I miss social interaction.

5. Piercings i have:

I have my ears pierced but never wear earrings, I have another set of piercings and I used to have my nose pierced but it got ripped out at work one day. Do not reccommend it hurt like a bitch.

6. Favorite band:

Not a band per say but I’ve really been into Tones and I lately, specifically never felt the rain.

7. Biggest turn offs:

Definitely not being motivated. I am very driven and like for sure have goals that I am working towards and want to achieve and when someone just has no goals (even small ones) makes me feel like I’m dragging them along and acting as their mother almost. Also people who can’t keep a conversation, like I’m not really one for small talk like I’d rather talk about the mysteries of the universe you know.

8. Top 5 (insert subject):

You didn’t provide a subject so I’m just gonna say songs:

Never felt the rain - Tones and I

Is everybody going crazy? - Nothing but thieves

Complainer - Cold War Kids

Trampoline - Shaed

Don’t stop me now - Queen (permanently in top 5)

9. Tattoos i want:

I have several lined up. My next is going to be a crow with some minimalist geometric lining in the back and some hydrangeas and delphiniums around it on my forearm. Next I’m going to get a small snapdragon along the outside of my forearm. Then I want to get my thigh pieces done one will be a watercolor tree and the other will be watercolor mountains and it’ll have some quotes underneath them.

10. Biggest turn ons:

I like assertive people who aren’t dickheads. 

11. Age:

22

12. Ideas of a perfect date:

I’m super easy to please so pretty much any place where we can actually do something because i find that that helps break through the awkwardness of dates.

13. Life goal:

To buy my mom a house and live close to my family

14. Piercings i want:

My nose repierced, maybe like a double nose piercing idk yet.

15. Relationship status:

Happily single 

16. Favorite movie:

Grave of Fireflies

17. A fact about my life:

hmmm I have like 7 siblings.

18. Phobia:

Bugs and spiders, the idea of the feeling of them walking on me freaks me out.

19. Middle name:

McKenna

20. Height:

5′4″

21. Are you a virgin?

Nope 

22. What’s your shoe size?

women’s 8, men’s 6

23. What’s your sexual orientation?

Tbh still figuring that out but pansexual

24. Do you smoke, drink, or take any drugs?

I drink occasionally but not very often

25. Someone you miss:

my awesome coworkers rn

26. What’s one thing you regret?

Not taking time to focus on myself earlier than I did

27. First celebrity you think of when someone says attractive:

Kate McKinnon

28. Favorite ice cream?

Cheesecake or honeycomb toffee

29. One insecurity:

My body shape/size

30. What my last text message says:

“Most likely yes. I know Steven was walking his dog through the park by himself and a cop was giving him shit for it”

31. Have you ever taken a picture naked?

Ooof yeah

32. Have you ever painted your room?

Yeah my childhood room at both parents house and then i had to change rooms immediately after at one and the eother moved houses.

33. Have you ever kissed a member of the same sex?

Yup!

34. Have you ever slept naked?

Not fully i don’t think

35. Have you ever danced in front of your mirror?

Of course!

36. Have you ever had a crush?

hahaha unfortunately yeah

37. Have you ever been dumped?

Yeah pretty even with the dumped/dumping ratio

38. Have you ever stole money from a friend?

No, if anything i give my friends all my money if they need it

39. Have you ever gotten in a car with people you just met?

Like only people I just me? No. With people that I also know? yeah

40. Have you ever been in a fist fight?

Nah never gotten to that point

41. Have you ever snuck out of your house?

No but I have lied about where I’m going/doing.

42. Have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?

Ooof yeah I have

43. Have you ever been arrested?

Nope and I’m trying to keep it that way

44. Have you ever made out with a stranger?

Yeah, it wasn’t very good though

45. Have you ever met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere?

Yeah for like dates or hangouts

46. Have you ever left your house without telling your parents?

Yeah, it didn’t go over too well but it was several years ago

47. Have you ever had a crush on your neighbor?

Nah all of my neighbors have been way younger than me or like 70

48. Have you ever ditched school to do something more fun?

Yeah I do it with college all the time haha

49. Have you ever slept in a bed with a member of the same sex?

Yeah mostly platonically though

50. Have you ever seen someone die?

No and I’m glad that I haven’t

51. Have you ever been on a plane?

Yeah a ton actually

52. Have you ever kissed a picture?

I’m sure I have in my cringey teenage phase.

53. Have you ever slept in until 3?

Not quite that late as I’m a relatively early riser, the lastest I’ve slept in is like 1

54. Have you ever loved someone or miss someone right now?

I’ve loved people yeah but I don’t miss anyone in that way rn. Like every relationship has ended for a reason.

55. Have you ever laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by?

Yeah it’s a really relaxing thing to do

56. Have you ever made a snow angel?

Yeah but not a huge fan of it cuz i don’t like the cold

57. Have you ever played dress up?

Yeah I’m pretty sure most young girls do

58. Have you ever cheated while playing a game?

Yeah I’m sure I have

59. Have you ever been lonely?

Yeah but I like to try to move past it and not fixate on it, easier said than done though.

60. Have you ever fallen asleep at work/school?

Yeah I was super sick at school one day and fell asleep from all the medicine I had to take

61. Have you ever been to a club?

Nah I’m more of a bar person if I’m gonna go out with people

62. Have you ever felt an earthquake?

Yeah a couple since living in California

63. Have you ever touched a snake?

Yeah my brother used to own one

64. Have you ever ran a red light?

Yeah on accident, I was driving home from a really late night at work and was kinda zoned out so I didn’t even realize it was red. Luckily it was a super small street and it was late enough no one was on the roads.

65. Have you ever been suspended from school?

Nope I’m a good girl.

66. Have you ever had detention?

Yeah I was late too many times for a class

67. Have you ever been in a car accident?

Yeah I rear ended someone on my way to a new job like a couple days after getting my new car

68. Have you ever hated the way you look?

Yes I am not happy with the way I look right now but I’m working on accepting my body and chaning the things that I can

69. Have you ever witnessed a crime?

I don’t believe so.

70. Have you ever pole danced?

No but I’d love to learn sometime.

71. Have you ever been lost?

Definitely, I’m not the greatest with directions

72. Have you ever been to the opposite side of the country?

Yup I used to live in michigan and now I live in Cali

73. Have you ever felt like dying?

Unfortunately yeah

74. Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?

Also yes unfortunately

75. Have you ever sang karaoke?

Yeah I love it

76. Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn’t?

Yeah but it didn’t turn out to be that bad

77. Have you ever laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose?

I don’t think so but maybe

78. Have you ever slept with someone at least 5 years older or younger?

No but I have dated someone who was 5 years older than me

79. Have you ever kissed in the rain?

No but I’d love to given the opportunity

80. Have you ever sang in the shower?

All the time

81. Have you ever made out in a park?

No, no one ever wants to go with me

82. Have you ever dream that you married someone?

Yeah but I couldn’t see who it was

83. Have you ever glued your hand to something?

Not my whole hand but definitely a finger

84. Have you ever got your tongue stuck to a flag pole?

No haha those are too dirty

85. Have you ever gone to school partially naked?

Not completely, but there was a time where I was so tired i forgot to put a shirt on under my zip up hoodie and didn’t realize until i went to take it off.

86. Have you ever been a cheerleader?

No but I was a dancer

87. Have you ever sat on a roof top?

No but I want to at somepoint

88. Have you ever brushed your teeth?

Yeah gotta be hygenic

89. Have you ever been too scared to watch scary movies alone?

All the time, I don’t do scary movies

90. Have you ever played chicken?

Yeah a couple of times

91. Have you ever been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?

I don’t think so but I wouldn’t put it past my brothers

92. Have you ever been told you’re hot by a complete stranger?

I’ve had people hit on me at work

93. Have you ever broken a bone?

Yup my right wrist when I was 3.

94. Have you ever been easily amused?

Yeah I’m sure I have

95. Have you ever laughed so hard you cried?

Yeah a couple of times

96. Have you ever mooned/flashed someone?

No not that confident haha

97. Have you ever cheated on a test?

Yeah a couple

98. Have you ever forgotten someone’s name?

All the time, it takes a couple of interactions for it to really stick

99. Have you ever met someone who didn’t seem real?

Yeah but always when I’ve had surface level interactions

100. Give us one thing about you that no one knows.

Hmmmm. I’m a hopeless romantic but don’t like to show it.

[othernecessarythings]

81: Piercings you have?

only my ears

82: Something you really enjoy doing:

spening time with my favorite people on adventures

83: Favorite person to talk to:

my sister or my best friends

84: What was your first impression of Tumblr?

how the fuck does this thing work, what are tags and why can’t i see any dates

85: How many followers do you have?

not many

86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes?

well yes? if my googling is right and a mile is about 1.6 km, then yeah, i run one km in like 5 min

87: Do your socks always match?

yes i can’t wear mismatched socks

88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely?

yes

89: What are your birthstones?

?

90: If you were an animal, which one would you be?

like a seal or something

91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be?

hm the flower called förgätmigej in swedish, they’re small, blue and calm

92: A store you hate?

um like the swedish store tessie maybe

93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day?

none

94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds?

read minds

95: Do you like to wear camo?

no not my style

96: Winter or summer?

SUMMER omg

97: How long can you hold your breath for?

probably not that long

98: Least favorite person?

hmm i really can’t stand trump for example

99: Someone you look up to:

my friends, hayley williams and my parents

100: A store you love?

weekday maybe

101: Favorite type of shoes

sneakers, always

102: Where do you live?

sweden, love it

103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why?

i prefer vegetarian food, but i eat anything

104: What is your favorite mineral or gem?

no clue

105: Do you drink milk?

not straight up, but like oboy and stuff like that yeah

106: Do you like bugs?

not really

107: Do you like spiders?

not really either

108: Something you get paranoid about?

getting caught by parents or police or similar lol, i’m living very dangerously in that aspect huh

109: Can you draw:

absolutely not

110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked?

i’m not brave enough to ask too much, but i love to get to know people’s backgrounds, fears and dreams

111: A question you hate being asked?

“why are u so smart?” cause i know i’m smart, it sounds arrogant to just say it like that but i realize it’s true, but i don’t know why? it just happened? hm

112: Ever been bitten by a spider?

nah we don’t have any bigger or dangerous ones here in sweden

113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach?

i live for it, i actually walk to the sea (i live pretty close to it) quite often just to breathe and let the waves calm me down

114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days?

always sunny days

115: Someone you'd like to kiss or cuddle right now:

hm i’d like to find someone i like first ig

116: Favorite cloud type:

fluffy, compact clouds on a clear blue sky

117: What color do you wish the sky was?

i’m content with it being blue, and every beautiful colour the sunset is

118: Do you have freckles?

no

119: Favorite thing about a person:

their mind i guess? what they find interesting and are passionate about

120: Fruits or vegetables?

depends, i like both (indecisive as always)

121: Something you want to do right now:

bathe in a warm ocean, feel the sun on my skin

122: Is the ocean or sky prettier?

the combo of them together beats everything

123: Sweet or sour foods?

sour

124: Bright or dim lights?

dim, it’s so much more comfortable

125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature?

not really

126: Something you hate about Tumblr:

how addictive it is, and how some people criticize everyone for small mistakes when they’re just trying their best to be inclusive,, like for example this is one of the most lgbtq+ accepting spaces of all times compared the general homophobia in the world, but there’s still those who complain when every post doesn’t include their very specific orientation

127: Something you love about Tumblr:

how addictive it is, it allows me to completely forget everything else and just have a good time in peace,, and how i don’t know any one here, no one is here to constantly judge me

128: What do you think about the least?

huh? what’s that?

129: What would you want written on your tombstone?

oh um that’s a quite big decision but right now do i feel that this swedish lyrics would be very beautiful

”Låt oss gå upp på taket ikväll

Där vi kan se stjärnorna skimra

Låt oss gå upp på taket ihop

Där vi kan vara närmare himlen

Närmare himlen”

130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now?

trump or boris

131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself?

um everything, i constantly doubt all of my traits and appearances but love them at the same time

132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures?

usually not, so if i’m smiling with my teeth am i usually really, really happy

133: Computer or TV?

computer

134: Do you like roller coasters?

hm sometimes

135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness?

motion, seasickness is never a problem for me

136: Are your ears lobed or attached?

what?

137: Do you believe in karma?

no, but i still believe in acting good just because it’s right, not because you get any selfish profits from it

138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are?

oh that definitely depends, i know i’m quite near the society’s definition of beauty standards, with body shape and face features and clothing style and everything but i still doubt myself a lot, but i’d like to see myself as a strong seven

139: What nicknames do you have/have had?

none, my name hasn’t got any natural nicknames and i’ve never needed a nickname until recently when i’ve got a friend with the same name as me,, but she’s got a nickname so it’s okay

140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends?

no i wasn’t a creative kid at all lol

141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink?

sigh once secretly, but it didn’t go that well and i’ve never done it since

142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others?

oof really depends on who, but hopefully good?

143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help?

hm depends on how good the present i’m giving is

144: What makes you angry

not much really, i’m not an angry type

145: How many languages do you speak fluently?

kinda two? i mean i’m fluent in swedish of course, and i’m quite close to being fluent in english too.. and i must include some rather bad german skills too lol

146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries?

honestly i don’t have a clue right now, but i’m probably bi? aah but idk maybe i’m just straight, how would i know, but rn am i comfortable in being bi and further explore what my sexuality is

147: Are you androgynous?

not really, i’m kinda stereotypically female i guess

148: Favorite physical thing about yourself:

hm my legs be kinda cute tho

149: Favorite thing about your personality:

no don’t make me choose this i don’t know and i’m insecure about it

150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person.

anyone? um hayley williams, tyler joseph and my grandpa who’s passed away

151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose?

no i’m content in our era, but either the early 2000’s to fully live my emo life, or the swedish 50’s when my grandparents grew up, they always tell me such beautiful stories from their childhoods and teenage years (i am aware about the problematics with all eras, and 50’s being lots of racism and much more, but i’d like to believe that if i were able to grow up the same way my grandparents did here in sweden, would life been pretty great anyways)

152: Do you like BuzzFeed?

okay hear me out i don’t know if buzzfeed is i thing in sweden? i’ve never heard anyone mention it, i have a vague idea of what it is but i don’t really know? so i guess not

153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.]

hah i wish

154: Do you like to kiss others' foreheads or hands for platonic reasons?

no i’m not a touchy friend, i’m more like a shower u with kind words instead friend

155: Do you like to play with others' hair?

no i feel like i intrude on their privacy somehow

156: What embarrasses you?

hm i don’t really know, i tend to avoid any situation that might make me feel embarrassed

157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious:

the concept of this (my teenage years) being the absolute best years of my life and that i have to achieve so much rn,, and media isn’t really helping me with that, i’m constantly forced to watch how great lives everyone else lives on social media and stuff,,, and i know my life is actually really interesting and good, but i’m anxious about my time running out anyways

158: Biggest lie you have ever told:

hm basic but “i’m fine” i guess

159: How many people are you following?/160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)? /161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)?/162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)?

not many on either of them

163: Last time you cried and why:

ah i don’t cry (which is a problem and i’m trying to loosen up my grip on my emotions but it’s hard) honestly i don’t remember the last time i really sobbed? i’ve cried a tear or two sometimes, usually over books, but i’m unfortunately not a crying type

164: Do you have long or short hair?

i had long hair until like yesterday! rn is it to my shoulders, which still is kinda long i guess, but short for me

165: Longest your hair has ever been:

idk quite long

166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon?

oh interesting topic, here’s my view on it; religion is a good idea, but we’re using it wrong. it is about spreading love and finding answers to the greater questions in life, to respect one and each other and finding a place and purpose in our world, which is beautiful right? unfortunately are many people and fucking leaders using it for their own profit, to spread hate or fear, which is completely wrong and not at all what it is about. worth mentioning that in sweden, particularly in the bigger cities, isn’t religion a big thing. no one i know is devoted religious? neither am i, but i still choose to believe in the good parts of christianity, about love and acceptance

167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created?

ye i’m a science nerd i would love to know how it was made from a scientific point of view, bc i firmly believe that it’s the big bang and not some god who randomly chose to make us lol

168: Do you like to wear makeup?

yes, a little everyday makeup, and bright, colorful and creative looks for events

169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds?

against a wall, probably yes, but without? hah no

170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully?

i think so, the knowledge that no one else is going to read this but me makes me feel quite secure in answering truthfully

that’s it! wow i made it through all of them, just for the record it’s the 23:d february 2020 today, nice, goodbye

[illumi-nnaughtyy]

9, 28, 29, 44, 45, 48, 52, 53, 55, 56, 62, 64, 69, 70, 76, 80, 82, 83, 90, 95, 96

9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more? jean 100% I'm always in jeans 28. Do you get a lot of colds?

I used to get them all the time but lately I haven't which is super lit bc I'm a huge baby when I'm sick 29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from? I'm only in a sports bra rn but I got it from Academy44. What’s the best part about school?

Learning new things and viewing the world in a way you haven't before as a result. Also taking an exam and knowing you slayed the shit out of it and got a really good grade. 45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook? yeah I have a ton 48. Were you single over the last summer? 

No I was in a relationship52. Are you nice to everyone?

I truly try my best to be because kindness is really important to me53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? YESSSSS OMFG55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?

absolutely not, if I'm upset I cant hide it at all you can look at my face and tell. 56. Do you think you like someone? Maybe ;)62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about? yeah....so I'm not gonna tell you 64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now? I like to tell myself that they're not, but I know they have been but its whatever. 69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

ummm....my sister I think 70. How do you look right now?  I look pretty crusty bc ive been here studying for my chem lab final for like two hours 76. Are you a jealous person? yeah hella but I'm pretty good at keeping it under control 80. Name something you have to do tomorrow? Hella stuff omfg. I have a 9am class, a chem lab final, a biology research paper to finish, then I have to present my paper and my findings to my prof, then I have a powerpoint to create based on my paper, and then I have to study for my art exam. 82. Is there someone you will never forget?

yeah, my best friend Izzy. She was one of my fav people ever and ill always remember her and the joy she brought to my life before she died. 83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you? ehhh I'm not sure 90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? yes lol my ex but we aren't gonna talk about that bc I'm honestly so over it 95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March?

I didn't like anyone then 96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?

YESSSSS VERY ATTRACTVE SHES A 10/10

[napstablooks]

for that ask meme thing,,, do all of them >:Oc

oh god

oh god are you sure

well…

HERE GOES I GUESS,

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen, Fly On The Wall - Joey Pecoraro, Fourth of July - Sufjan Stevens, All the Angels - MCR, For Emma - Bon Iver, and Shelter by Porter Robinson2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

Nick Valentine’s voice actor.3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

”Before I could fasten them, light poured down on me and there he was without a shirt, holding a flashlight.”4: What do you think about most?

My friends.5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

”Ur gay lol”6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

I sleep with them on because I’m a cold bitch7: What’s your strangest talent?

I type on my phone so much I’ve memorized the keyboard. Is that a talent8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

Girls are fucking hot

Boys are soft9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

god one can dream can’t they10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

a few weeks ago i think hah11: Do you have any strange phobias?

honestly none that I can think of right now but I used to be scared of the lamp in my basement as a kid I thought it would eat me12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

many times13: What’s your religion?

I’m agnostic!14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

probably walking! I love taking walks15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

I’m awful at photography so probably in front of it16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

oh god uh. good question. the front bottoms? got me through a lot17: What was the last lie you told?

honest to god it was that i wasn’t depressed when i was18: Do you believe in karma?

yes. not super strongly, but if someone does bad shit and something to happens, ima just watch from a distance.19: What does your URL mean?

it’s from Undertale! my favorite ghost kid!20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

greatest weakness: can’t take criticism because of schizoid.greatest strength: I’m very accepting and I care for everyone.21: Who is your celebrity crush?

MMMMM Krysten Ritter is my MOTHER22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

nah dude I’m underage and lonely23: How do you vent your anger?

by hurting myself. deadass. this isn’t to be dramatic. that or i scream a lot24: Do you have a collection of anything?

JOURNALS! i have over 2025: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

video chatting 26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

in a lot of ways no, but in some ways… yes. yes i am.27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

sound i hate: crunching of anythingsound i love: wood crackling fire!28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

what if nobody really loves me?29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

yes and yes!30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

right arm: my therapy journal hahaleft arm: my teddy bear, Roger!!31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

laundry detergent! i just washed my blanket32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

a hospice in my town33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

West Coast even though I’m living in the hell of the east coast rn34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

god i don’t fuckin know 35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

to make yourself enjoy it as much as possible and help others get there along the way!36: Define Art.

something you create because of a feeling (or no feeling).37: Do you believe in luck?

Yes! kind of like I believe in karma.38: What’s the weather like right now?

it’s 7 am here and its slightly warm, but clear out 39: What time is it?

7:12 am!40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

Nope! don’t have my license yet41: What was the last book you read?

I think it was Sharp Objects42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

sorta - after a while it makes me sick43: Do you have any nicknames?

Bee, Robino, Robee, Rob44: What was the last film you saw?

A Beautiful Mind!45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

idk i think i sprained my ankle a few times but otherwise i don’t do enough to get injured46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

yep!!!!47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

Overwatch! it’s been an obsession since about july of 201648: What’s your sexual orientation?

not sure right now. pan with a preference towards girls maybe?49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

not big ones but yeah50: Do you believe in magic?

yes!!!!!!!!!!51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

yeah i’m a super angry person :/52: What is your astrological sign?

Virgo 53: Do you save money or spend it?

i spend it so bad lmao. i don’t have any rn though cause no income source54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

pizza :D55: Love or lust?

love, always. always always.56: In a relationship?

nope! just got out of one about a week ago.57: How many relationships have you had?

4! only two of them meant anything.58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

no i’m a failure ;A;59: Where were you yesterday?

i was @ my house sleeping60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

yep! a music box from my mom61: Are you wearing socks right now?

no they are evil62: What’s your favourite animal?

SEA OTTER!!!!!!!63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

i make them feel super comfortable around me! i love it when people are themselves around me, it makes me feel trusted. i don’t do it out of malice or anything ;-;64: Where is your best friend?

at her house a few miles away from me…i get to see her today!65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

-esuerc (is that how you spell it?)-mercysblaster-moon-goblin-mojavemessenger-welcome-to-far-harbor(these aren’t in order)

66: What is your heritage?

whitest of the white. irish or something? i think? fuck if i know anymore67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

streaming overwatch on twitch haha68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

trump.69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

fuck yeah dude who do you think i am lmao70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

i think so! i think I’m a very caring and loving person. id like to come to me for my problems, yknow?71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

fuck my job save the dog i can always find a new job but i can’t always save a dog’s life72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a - yes. i tell everyone.b - i enjoy myself the most i can. c - no. i’m not afraid of dying.73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

fuck. trust. i guess.74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

don't stop me now by queen! never ceases to make me smile like a dumb idiot75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

3309 hah76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

trust. absolutely. and being comfortable and putting everything out in the open.77: How can I win your heart?

make me feel trusted and give me love. lots of love.78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

of course it can! 79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

realizing that i am my own. nobody else’s.80: What size shoes do you wear?

9 women’s heck off81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

i always knew it would end like this! dammit!82: What is your favourite word?

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

smiling…a heart full of love.84: What is a saying you say a lot?

”big mood”85: What’s the last song you listened to?

Concrete - This Wild Life86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

PERIWINKLE !!!!!87: What is your current desktop picture?

it’s a cool map i found while researching DnD dungeon layouts!88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

trump!!!!89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

”why do you lie?”90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

i’d freak out but i mean if they just chilling they can be my friends91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

oh shit to freeze time obviously92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

the time that i had a long talk with a friend at 3 am. you know who you are. i can’t remember anything that good for the past few years.93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

being abused.94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

FUCK UHHHH carly rae jepson95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

hdkjhajk omg idk uhhh probably new york to visit my friend shivani96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

nah fam97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

yep!98: Ever been on a plane?

i have and i hated it99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

please, just let there be love.

YOU’RE WELCOME, ANON!

[b00bstone]

All the even numbers!

thats a lot. and 72 was repeated twice but i had to renumber them since i copied and pasted adn forgot it was repeated. but anyway. 

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

mostly shy i think but i can be outgoing if im comfortable. 

4 Are you easy to get along with?

not really. i can be quite moody. and i unfortunately have a short temper (which im trying to work on) and im depressed adn suicidal so i think the answer is no. 

6 What kind of people are you attracted to?

smart funny ones. 

8Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

my friend the nerd because i was talking to them and my friend rabbit earlier. 

10Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

probs my therapist since we talked just earlier today.

12What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

1.awkward by hailey knox

2 beautiful girl by sara barielles 

3. plot twist by sigrid

4 waving through a window from dear evan hansen 

and 5. dissapear also from dear evan hansen.

14Do you believe in luck and miracles?

yeah but my luck is shitty and miracles happen to other people. so basically yes but not for me lmao

16Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

yeah. if she were down. but like shes really straight. so i doubt she would be.

18Do you still talk to your first crush?

occasionally. hes a dick now tho. fraternity guy. and voted for trump.

20Do you like your neighbors?

well the ones i know are pretty cool. 

22Where would you like to travel?

narnia. one of those planets they discovered that are super far away but similar to earth. but like on this planet? probs travel around europe. 

24Favorite part of your daily routine?

going to bed. 

26What do you do when you wake up?

lie there and try to go back to sleep. 

28Who are you most comfortable around?

probs my friend rabbit.

30Do you ever want to get married?

one day yeah. but only if i find the right person u know. 

32Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

oohhhh ummm hmmm. chris pratt. aubrey plaza and john boyega. i feel like aubrey would bring a sarcastic element which would help with the pressure and nervousness and john and chris. well u can just see in their eyes that theyre really gentle people that will treat u right. 

34do you play sports? What sports?

hahaha no. ive always wanted to dance and/or be on a swimteam. but my lungs hate me

36Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

i think ive only told like 1 or 2 people that ive liked that i liked them. and ive liked a lot of people so yes. i have hidden that i liked someone before. many many times.

38Describe your dream girl/guy?

theyre taller than me. i dunno why but ive always liked wavy/curly hair. not blonde. or brunette. so that leaves unnatural hair color or black or red. good bone structure. theyre really smart. like they know lots of stuff academically but theyre also just generally smart u know. and they know lots of lil random facts about random things. really nice. but not in like a sugar nice way but more like sun beams when it feels like theyre warming u from the inside kinda nice. kind eyes. color doesnt really matter since i keep changing my mind. strong. but not necessarily muscular. i want them to be able to pick me up and twirl me around but not like theyve got a sixpack or anything. sixpacks are kinda weird looking tbh. wed have to have most of the same values. not too talkative but not like ALWAYS quiet. theyd prefer staying in most weekend and watchng shows but dont mind the occassional night out. theyd like the beach. because what kind of crazy person doesnt like the beach (people that dont beach right thats who). theyd also like biking and hiking and swimming. very much an animal person. not lazy. good listener. intuitive. would understand that some days i just cant fucking stand physical touch. and others i crave it in a way ive never craved anything before. and other days its kinda meh whatever. people that take interest in what im interested in because im interested in it. and whose interests are cool. because i love to take interest in things my friends are interested in but sometimes its so boring. nothing particular comes to mind. but im sure its happened. someone who doesnt check up on me when im crying. because tbh i hate it when people do that. unless its through texting or a phone call. but like people in person asking “are u ok?” while im sobbing my eyes out? fuck no go away. someone who understands that im really fucking bad with words. and sometimes me trying to say something will take a while and it may not make sense. theyd be patient. they wouldnt mock me. or be manipulative. and i think this list is long enough.

40What do you want to do after high school?

travel the world and end up famous, but not like papparazzi following me famous. famous like i appear on snl every once in a while and drop bangers or rad filsm or whatever i do and thats all.  what will i probs end up doing? crying a lot and going to community college. and applying to as many colleges as i have the energy to. 

42If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

it might mean im busy. or just listening. or really pissed off. or upset. or just have nothing to say. 

44Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

space. 

46What are you paranoid about?

everything

48Have you ever been drunk?

not yet. but sometimes i want to be

50What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

blue i think?

52 One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

everything. but like one specific thing? id like to get rid of my depression, fears, and this brain fog that haunts me

.54 Favourite store?

trader joes or target

56Favourite color?

yellow

58 Last thing you ate?

well rn im eating plain potato chips and mayo (please dont judge me. i know its disgusting)

60Ever won a competition? For what?

i used to do mma i won like one or two of those. i also run a riding competition once. 

62Been arrested? For what?

not yet. but im sure one day i will be.

64tell us the story of your first kiss?

we were in her parents bathroom and were 7. thats all i remember. havent kissed anyone since. which isnt for lack of wanting to.

68Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

i dont really have any tumblr friends that arent my real friends yet? so like i cant answer that.

70 Twitter or Tumblr?

well i spend all my time here and not on twitter so lets go with tumblr. altho i do have a twitter im never on

72Names of your best friends?

adi, heather, rabecca, joaquin, celestine. 

74What colour are your towels?

blue, red and white. and theres some hawaiin print ones and a yellow one. 

76How many pillows do you sleep with?

3... 

78How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

like 40? dont judge. i kept asking as a kid and my parents kept giving them to me for christmas and my birthday. they should have stopped. 

80What colour is your underwear?

rn its grey. but its not the only color i have

82Favourite ice cream flavor?

fuck. ummmmm coffee?

84What colour pants?

rn theyre black. but on the front of the thighs they have zebra striping. 

86Favourite movie?

thats not an easy question to answer. im gonna say bringing up baby just because. 

90Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

both? i mean i prefer mean girls a lil more bu 21 jumpstreet isnt bad either

92 Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

dory. we are both scatterbrained. 

94Last person you talked to today?

adi. but like in person? rabbit and the nerd. 

96Name a person you love?

celestine. (not romantically)

98In a fight with someone?

not as far as i know. but i always kinda feel like im in a fight with monkey. 

100How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

like 4? i know i know i dont have very many. 

102Favourite actress?

aubrey plaza. 

104Do you tan a lot?

nope. i try at least once every summer. but my skin either stays as pale as snow or i burn really bad then my skin shift to a slightly more offwhite shade of snow. 

106. How are you feeling?

blergh. potato chips and mayo are really gross. and im tired and sick of people telling me shit. 

108Do you regret anything from your past?

i regret everything ive ever done. 

110Do you miss anyone from your past?

well there is this one guy i used to talk to but i miss the attention and not him so that doesnt count. i kinda miss a friend of mine named shannon from elementary school sunday school

112Ever broken someone’s heart?

i dont think so. 

114What should you be doing?

school. but ive given up on that. so. 

.116 Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

oh yeah. ive liked 2 peoplethat much. altho i barely knew the first person and it was more me projecting my ideals of the prefect person onto them. 

118Who was the last person you cried in front of?

probs my therapist. 

120Have you ever been out of your province/state?

yeah. i was just in virginia last week. i live in california so id say thats definitely out of state. 

122Are you listening to music right now?

nope. 

124Do you like Chinese food?

americanized or traditional? americanized: yessss that shit i shte bomb. traditional? i dont know ive never had it. 

126Are you afraid of the dark?

yes. very. i need a light source or i start to panic. 

.128 Is cheating ever okay?

like on a partner or on a test or something? on a partner? no way. u should never do that. like thatll really fuck them up and make them mistrustful for the rest of their life. on a test? if its necessary sure go for it. i dont care. im not ur teacher. 

130Do you believe in love at first sight?

yeah. but its not something thatll ever happen to me lmao.

132. Are you currently bored?

im always bored. 

134 Would you change your name?

last name? yes 100% absolutely. first name? maybe. 

136Do you like subway?

like the sandwich shop? fuck no! the first time i ate it i threw up. the second time was ok. and thei third time i got serious stomach cramps afterwards. it was these awful sharp shooting pains all through my stomach. 

138Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

probs my therapist. 

140Can you count to one million?

theoretically? yes. but will i? no 

142Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

closed! my closet freaks me out but the office across from my bedroom freaks me out more. and also like i dont want cats walking on my face. or to wake up at 7 am and find that my dog has taken up the very middle of the bed. 

144Curly or Straight hair?

rn? mostly straight. but when it gets longer it kinda curls a  lil. 

146Summer or Winter?

yes. i like both. dont make me choose. 

148 Favourite month?

july. thats when im born so it has to be my fav. 

150Dark, milk or white chocolate?

milk

152Was today a good day?

no. 

154What’s your favourite quote?

in the beginning the universe was created a lot of people regard t as a bad move. and i messed that quote up. but yeah. 

156Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

the terms braided and woven refer to the structure of the elastic. 

[demonialex]

1-100 😘

omfg ok under the cut cuz yeah long af

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? Spotify!

is your room messy or clean? uhhh it’s in the middle i guess lmao a little messy but not complete chaos imo?

what color are your eyes? dark brown

do you like your name? why? i hate my given name so instead i named myself alex and now i rly like it ay B) 

what is your relationship status? single

describe your personality in 3 words or less caring, impatient, lazy

what color hair do you have? brown

what kind of car do you drive? color? i dont have a car

where do you shop? uhhhhh i dont really shop much cuz im broke? but sometimes in various stores it depends on what im getting?

how would you describe your style? “i don’t have enough money to dress in the style i actualyl like so this will have to do”

favorite social media account ngl it’s probably this hellsite

what size bed do you have? queen

any siblings? nah, only child

if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? hmmmm probably canada? cause they seem rly chill with lgbtq ppl and they are rather safe? plus i speak the language sooo

favorite snapchat filter? ...the dog one (well out of the current ones cuz i rly miss the “greek goddess” or whatever the hell was the name of that one)

favorite makeup brand(s) kinda rly dont care tbh? i kinda of go with whats cheaper lmao and also it varies on what it is (foundation, eye shadow, etc)

how many times a week do you shower? usually every day tho im ngl today i was so exhausted (im super sick) that i forgot to shower

favorite tv show? currently? probably the magicians

shoe size? varies between 7~8 US

how tall are you? 162cm

sandals or sneakers? sneakers

do you go to the gym? ok i tried going this year but then i got drowned in homework and now i have the flu dont judge me

describe your dream date honestly i have no idea? as long as im with someone i actually like and am attracted to, and that the conversation flows, im good.

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? my go-to wallet? 0. my savings wallet? i think around 1k or 1.5k i cant remember for sure? as i said, it’s a /savings/ wallet 

what color socks are you wearing? im not wearing socks

how many pillows do you sleep with? one under my bed and one on each side of me so i can throw my leg over it when i roll

do you have a job? what do you do? nah, not allowed to work ;-; 

how many friends do you have? uhhhhh... 3? 4? idk mate i lost A LOT of friends in the past few years :/ I have quite a few “acquaintances” now and ppl i wish were my friends but who dont seem to want the same, but actual friends i think probably just 4

whats the worst thing you have ever done? depends on who u ask, on ur morals, etc

whats your favorite candle scent? i like too many, i cant pick!! D:

3 favorite boy names guilherme, alex, leonardo ? i guess? idk

3 favorite girl names carolina, camila, alex. again, i guess lmao idk

favorite actor? dont rly have one

favorite actress? again dont rly have one oops im boring

who is your celebrity crush? fck i have way too many tbh

favorite movie? probably DEBS tbh

do you read a lot? whats your favorite book?not rly... it’s not that i dont /want to/ it’s just that i constantly forget to read. my fave is probably little brother or my girlfriend is a geek

money or brains? for myself? money! on a potential partner? brains tho idc that much abt academically smart yadda yadda

do you have a nickname? what is it? Zu

how many times have you been to the hospital? uhhhh for actual important shit and not just casual check ups probably.... 4 or 5 times? i cant remember. i had pneumonia and i fractured bones quite a few times

top 10 favorite songs !!! i cant choose fam

do you take any medications daily?ye anti depressant and anti anxiety

what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) always thought it was oily but apparently it’s mixed/combination

what is your biggest fear? ooo boy i have too many fears idk if i can choose a main biggest one

how many kids do you want? none thanks

whats your go to hair style?  “i woke up and was too lazy to brush my hair plus if i dont brush it it looks extra fluffy and slightly curled”

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) small-ish apartment

who is your role model? dont have one tbh

what was the last compliment you received? deadass cant remember

what was the last text you sent? “thank you~”

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? no clue tbh i was still a child haha 

what is your dream car? I rly dont wanna drive tbh but i find lamborghinis so fckin gorgeous

opinion on smoking? idc as long as u dont do it next to me cause it tends to make me cough a lot. tho depend on what ur smoking and the brand and if we are in an open space for some reason i dont smoke so ye

do you go to college? yup!!

what is your dream job? no clue

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? suburbs. the more things to do the better

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? i usually forget but my mom always takes them for me so :^)

do you have freckles? not the standard “a bunch of tiny ones around ur face”, but i have the classic brown ones here and there. does that make sense? :v (i hate that u guys have the same word for both kind of freckles smh)

do you smile for pictures? not usually? at most a close mouthed smile more like a smirk lmao

how many pictures do you have on your phone? i dont wanna do the math but over 1k

have you ever peed in the woods? who hasnt??

do you still watch cartoons? if animes are considered cartoons then sometimes, if not then not really

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? cant remember how the wendy’s ones taste like so i will go with mcdonalds

Favorite dipping sauce? depends on what im eating. usually blue cheese, if not then bbq

what do you wear to bed? depends on how hot it is lol

have you ever won a spelling bee? never even been to one

what are your hobbies? watching tv shows? idk mate

can you draw? kinda i guess

do you play an instrument? nah :(

what was the last concert you saw? i think it was demi lovato lmao

tea or coffee? i dont really drink either tbh. loved the tea my friend made me, and loved the coffee my grandma used to make me. alas both live too far away now

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? i deadass think i only went to dunkin donuts ONCE and i dont remember shit abt it so i will go with starbucks

do you want to get married? hmmm idc either way

what is your crush’s first and last initial? dont rly have a /major/ crush rn, just smol ones

are you going to change your last name when you get married? if their name is cooler maybe

what color looks best on you? black

do you miss anyone right now? i constantly miss too many ppl but i try to avoid thinking abt it

do you sleep with your door open or closed? closed!! i hate sleeping with open doors

do you believe in ghosts? i guess?

what is your biggest pet peeve? idk fam i have too many haha im blanking rn

last person you called` probably my mom or my grandma. i hate calloing ppl so i usually just call them lmao

favorite ice cream flavor? hmm probably half baked from B&J. in general i like peanut, chocolate, vanilla, bubblegum... i have a rly sweet toothe lol

regular oreos or golden oreos? regular!

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? chocolate!! the rainbow ones taste like plastic imo

what shirt are you wearing? it’s not rly a shirt? it’s a.. camisole? i think that’s how u say it? my mom got it for me, it’s from that the despicable movie or whatever it was called

what is your phone background? lock screen is julia wicker, home screen is julia and marina

are you outgoing or shy? generally shy but id depends on who i am with i guess

do you like it when people play with your hair? if i like the person (even as friends, just as long as im comfortable with them) then hell yes i love it! if it’s a stranger or someone i rly dont like then no obvs

do you like your neighbors? i dont rly know them tbh

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? ye usually once when i wake up and once before going to bed.

have you ever been high? nah i was able to take like 2 drags and then i died coughing

have you ever been drunk? nope:( not from lack of trying lol but the taste is so gross it makes me feel a bit nauseous

last thing you ate? bread with requeijao

favorite lyrics right now the lyrics of “trem bala”. deadss considering getting part of it tattooed cause it’s so... deep? and good? and it’s sigh it’s rly good if anyone is interested i can translate is lol 

summer or winter? winter

day or night? night

dark, milk, or white chocolate? white tho milk is a close second

favorite month? hmmm idk? maybe november cause mah bday?

what is your zodiac sign scorpio

who was the last person you cried in front of? i rarely cry and even more rarely cry in front of others so i dont rly remember but if i had to guess probably my mom?

[dxnielleinwonderland]

Guess who’s bored

What’s the toughest decision you made today? I haven’t because I’ve been chilling at home all day. 

What’s the toughest decision you made this year? Nothing actually springs to mind about this year. This year has been pretty smooth...

What’s the toughest decision you ever made? Maybe to quit my previous job. Wasn’t necessarily “tough” but wasn’t easy to tell everyone. 

What have you forgotten? Feels like a weird question because surely to forget something means to not remember? I guess past friendships/potential relationship that didn’t work (no hate there but I’m happier with the people I surround myself with and glad things happened the way they did) 

What do you want to be when you grow up?  I’m 21 and still don’t know. I’m loving what I’m doing atm though. 

What’s it like being you right now? I’m very content.

What makes you nostalgic? Literally anything. TV shows, songs, smells...

If you had two hours left on earth what would you do? Have a massive party with loved ones.

What’s the most beautiful word in the world? idk why ‘tranquil’ springs to mind.

Who makes you laugh more than anyone? no disrespect to anyone I love because I find many people funny (have so many laughable memories) but to choose one person I’d have to choose Kayleigh. She’s just not right 😂

What’s the best gift you’ve ever given? me & 2 of my friends did scrapbooks for our 21st and think they’re the cutest gifts. 

Best gift you ever received? too many to choose from I love all my presents. Florida, Disney tickets, Show tickets, Bracelet, Scrapbook - to name a few. I do love personal gifts though. 

How many times a day do you look in the mirror? honestly try to avoid the mirror 😂 every time I go to the bathroom because the mirror is unavoidable. 

What do you bring most to a friendship? advice, sarcasm & protectiveness

If 100 people in your age group were selected randomly, how many do you think they’d find leading a happier life than you? I’m pretty happy in life so maybe a few more than me but probably not too many more. I could always be happier obviously but I don’t have any stresses in my life atm. 

What is or was your best subject in school? English

What activity do you do that makes you feel most like yourself? Dancing

What makes you feel supported? myself?

Whom do you secretly admire? no secrets here 

What time of the day do you feel the most energetic and what do you usually do in those moments? midday to about 4pm. don’t really do a lot of exercise tbh, if anyone’s free I like to play Tennis, but usually just dance if a song is on 😂 

What’s something you never leave home without? Other than the obvious phone/keys. Vaseline. 

What’s a recurring dream you have? I don’t dream and if I do I can control them so it’s never recurring. 

What makes you feel safe? I feel the most safe where I live. It’s not the nicest place but I’m so comfortable here I don’t really think about things I would do if I was about anywhere else. That’s not to say I wouldn’t move from here though. 

What’s the best thing that ever happened to you? So many things. Cringe but I’m grateful for even the “bad” in my life because I believe the things that happen lead me to where I’m meant to be. 

What do you want people to say about you once you’re gone? There’s nothing in particular. The only opinions I care about are the ones who I focus my attention on whilst I’m alive. I’d just hope for positive things to be said but if anything was negative then those people wouldn’t have mattered to me anyway. 

What’s the coolest thing about science? Literally everything. Science was always one of them subjects that I found fascinating but lost interest in at school. 

What’s the best money you ever spent? Driving lessons (even though it killed me to spend it at the time)

What’s a bad habit you have? Biting my lips, sometimes until they bleed. Used to bite my nails but stopped that recently. Over-planning (good and bad I guess). Many more but can’t think rn. 

What are you grateful for? Everything atm. 

Whom are you envious of? Lily James. She’s so attractive and talented. Obsessed with her since watching Mamma Mia: Here we go again. 

If you had a clone, what would you have the clone do? Photoshoots 😂 recreate so many Mary Kate & Ashley films ...

What’s your idea of Heaven? DOGS

What’s your idea Hell? NO DOGS

When are you most yourself? Around my friends 

What superpower would you most like to have? Teleportation

What is your actual superpower? ngl I’m lowkey psychic sometimes

If you won 100 million dollars, what would you buy first? A house

What’s the best sound in the world? I feel like I should say waves but whilst I love that noise, thunder is more comforting to me? 

What song do you sing only when you’re alone and what memory does it bring back? The Power of Love - Celine Dion. It was my mum and dad’s wedding song. Doesn’t make me emotional or anything because they aren’t together anymore, but just an awkward song for them to hear I suppose. 

Describe a moment you were so embarrassed you wanted to disappear. I was sick all over myself in front of my college friends. I laugh about it now. 

Which day would you gladly re-live? Probs when I was a kid and I’d have so much fun with my cousins and sister doing silly things like bump down the stairs in sleeping bags and duvets. 

What are you terrible at but love to do anyway? Tennis 😂

What do you wish you’d invented? Some artist’s songs 

What would you like to invent? Smellivison - especially when youtubers try to describe perfumes/candles

Where do you want to be right now? Rome

If you could be someone else for a day who would it be and why? Ariana. She’s one the most genuine & talented celebrities. I would love to feel what it’s like to perform.

What’s the meanest thing you’ve ever said? I’ve said many mean things in my life, I’m only human, I make mistakes, but I will always apologise for it if you’re someone I care about. I have said mean things to people to defend myself or my friends that I felt like was necessary. I don’t see the point in saying mean things for no reason though. Positive vibes.

What’s the meanest thing someone has ever said to you? Don’t really know. I’ve had rumours spread about me before but I don’t really care what people have to say if they’re irrelevant to me tbh. 

What three words would you have on your grave stone? Danielle [blank] Evans

What’s your first thought when you wake up? Depends what I have planned for that day. Usually work so I think about the subjects and students I have for that day. 

If you could tell someone something anonymously, what would it be? I would never tell someone something anonymously. If I cared enough I’d say it as myself.

What type of person angers you the most? People who are so oblivious and unapologetic by their words/actions. 

What is your greatest strength? I’m quite resilient. If something knocks me down I get over it very quickly and move on. 

What is your worst weakness? Give advice/constructive criticism but relay it in a way that seems heartless or give it when it’s unwanted. 

How do you show your love for others? tough love towards them but extremely defensive if someone does something to upset them.