#first ch 233

[lqlarry]

Jjk team i need you to be so fucking fr rn. this man is literally just breathing and i feel like i need a lobotomy

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 233

It is with heavy heart that I announce: This it. The actual journey of the Ark ends here.  There will be 1 more chapter after this to wrap up what everyone will be screaming and cursing at me for after you read this.

And then we will be done.

This is where you want to scroll down to the Read More if you don’t want to read the sappy stuff.

I started this story in, wildly, 2016. I had no intention of it being this long - it was initially meant to be a one shot response to a writing prompt. I was doing that a lot at first, but this stuck with me. And as a result, I have made incredible friends that I never could have imagined, developed a ton as a writer, and found something to hang on to when my life got crazy. Through too many deaths, losing family and gaining family, and through learning what I really believe when the chips are down.

I have accidentally predicted a pandemic, my future job, a national schism, and the billionaire space race.

And I have not, even once, accidentally saved the world.

To you. To me. To us. If you found even a little solace, or space, or saw a part of yourself in this story: To you, most specifically. Always and forever, to you.

“Hannah has everyone on Level Eighteen, Alistair is bringing up the rear,” Xiomara announced. “Everyone is carrying as much as they can. The comic books didn’t make it.”

I swore softly and shook my head the best I could. “We can manage without those,” I admitted begrudgingly.

“Sophia, you just signed up to teach Comics as Literature,” Eino announced.

“I - “

“Try to stop her,” Tyche cut me off. “Ignore the protests, she’ll do it.”

“Seven Eko-mari troopers left,” Charly sounded off. “But I wouldn’t suggest getting a craving for wings.”

“How much longer do we have before we have to give up and evacuate Level Seventeen?” Arthur demanded.

“Ten minutes.”

Charly’s laugh at Huynh’s response shot ice down my spine. “More than enough. Give us three to finish up, plus four to get everyone to Sixteen.”

The Ark rocked and Maverick growled. “You have five, total. Push the fight to relative port. Hannah, have everyone seal up and cross on the starboard side.”

“Maverick,” Hannah responded, clearly at the end of her impressive patience. “The ship is a spiral.  Skipping levels isn’t an option.”

Conor took over. “BioLab 6 is along the relative starboard side of Seventeen. You can cross through there.”

“That’s breached,” Arthur shouted.

“The whole damned level is leaking like a sieve and barely hanging on. It’s cross there, or risk losing almost half our people.” Conor’s tone was apparently familiar to Arthur, because he just nodded and started rattling off updates and directions again.

“Four minutes,” Maverick counted off. “Charly, Hannah, as soon as you are clear of the freighters, tell us. The same second, you got it? This is going to be… fun.”

“Mister Okima,” Alistair huffed through the comms. “I am not preferable to your idea of ‘fun’.”

“And I don’t like your idea of living,” Maverick snapped. “Get off the comms, dude. Yell at me later. I’ll even sedate Sophie so you can.”

“Hey!”

“I love you, but people with a triple digit count of near death experiences don’t get a vote right now…” His tone was sing-song, despite how tensely he was clenching both his jaw and the controls. Several people on Level One had to stifle laughs, situation be damned. “Ix’al, Brol. Status updates.”

“We’ve lost ten cargo vessels, prayers to their souls,” Brol answered. “We can recoup the credits, but lives lost are lost forever.”

A very quiet amen crossed the deck, and I was sure I wasn’t the only one hoping that it translated as something conciliatory and appropriate.

“Where are we on the data bomb?” Arthur forged ahead.

“Xale informs that most of their fleet has been infected, but the dreadnought has too many firewalls.”

“Pranav, you still have that dead man switch ready to go?”

“If my heart stops, Alice has thirty seconds to give the override command,” came the grim confirmation. “I have sent the command to her phonetically.”

“Dark but precise,” Evan added. “I like it. Two minutes thirty and counting. Charly!”

“They’re as clear as they’re going to get, and it won’t get better if you don’t leave me alone!”

“Michael!”

“I second that!” he shouted against the background of the wailing damned. “How the fuck are they screaming in vacuum?”

By this point, Grey had to be numb. It was the only explanation for their calm tone. “Bioacoustics reverberating through the hull once they are in contact, then coming up through your feet.”

“Zip fighters converging!” Arthur interrupted. “Targeting the drive!”

“Hannah!”

“Ten more…. Move your asses and the one behind you!” she shouted.

My eyes nearly popped out of my head as I turned to Alice. I had never heard Hannah raise her voice.

Apparently, Alice hadn’t heard her angry, because she was just as pale.

“Seven!” she continued. “Alistair, get our ass over here or I will come get you!  Five! We have one tenth gee, through the fucking box!”

“Ha - “

“Get your ass through this door right now, or so help me I will let you die!”

My mouth snapped shut, and I slammed the mute to her so that no one could speak to her. There was a tone, there at the end, that I did know, and it wasn’t anger.

Again, I was second to that conclusion, because Alice was halfway across the deck and screaming to get out. “Hannah, no….”

“Hannah is through!” Charly confirmed.

Alice whirled, face flushed and tears streaking down her face. “Hannah is not through until that level is sealed. She will go back to get people.”

That was all Charly needed. She snapped a nod. “Michael! Abandon combat, evacuate your team to starboard. Take Hannah Bodenheimer with you, by force if necessary.”

“Two minutes!” Evan counted off.

“We can do it,” Michael confirmed. “GK can run this under one point five, we can do it in point one.”

“I’m covering from behind,” Jokul’s voice cut in. When someone started to object, he forged ahead. “I suffer the least from gravity sickness, and I am the largest. I can push everyone if need be.”

“You’ll get shot - “

“They don’t have kinetics and he’s wearing fur if they use electrics,” Charly snapped. “He’s a big boy, he can take a punch. Go!”

“Where is engineering?” I asked, panicked.

“Fourteen,” came several voices. The majority conceded to Huynh. “It won’t hold everyone, but your man is protected.”

That worked. “When everyone is clear of Level Seventeen, don’t even bother finding a shelter, just strap yourself to the nearest solid object with whatever you have handy,” I demanded.

“Thirty seconds!”

As much as I adored Evania Josue, right now I was cursing her with everything from crotch fleas to moist dermatitis.

“Twenty seconds!”

“CLEAR!” Hannah’s voice shouted. “I have Alistair, but lost a religious text. Mona has a spare, he’ll live.”

“Ten seconds! Brace for - something. Just brace!”

One deep inhale later, I was being pushed against my ersatz-seatback with the force of an invisible hand, and it wasn’t gentle. Those not secured were swept up by the walls, and then across the floor.

“Braking maneuver completed! Conor, status!” Mav panted, shaking out his hands and flexing his fingers.

“Drives are getting hot from the backwash, hull integrity at Level Seventeen is below forty percent,” he rattled off before his tone became stern. “If you do that again, we won’t have any drives.”

“There may be no choice,” Xiomara muttered. “Pranav, where are we at?”

“We are as close to ready as we will ever be.”

“Ix’al, Brol. Do we know if what that databomb does will take out their dreadnought?”

Ix’al responded this time. “There is only thirty percent chance that it will stop their vessel, and less than one percent that it will force it to jump.”

“That is beneficial to the Ark,” Odvub added, confusing the hell out of me and apparently several other people, judging by the noises I heard.

“Clarify?” Xiomara asked, as a member of the Confused Contingent.

“If the Eko-mari dreadnought were to be forced into a jump at this distance, it would force the core of the Ark to breach, killing everyone on the vessel.” The clarification was the opposite of comforting, and - joy of joys - it continued. “Additionally, there are still two infected Eko-mari vessels embedded in the hull of the Ark. They are small, but will still cause an estimated additional five percent loss in hull integrity.  Due to evacuation status of that level, no loss of life is anticipated.”

Arthur rubbed his face forcefully with both hands. “Maverick, Alice, is this the best we can expect?”

“Unless you are getting out to push, pretty much,” Alice confirmed after a brief glance at Mav.

It was only because I had swiveled my head over to the person speaking that I caught the frantic smacks Tyche administered to both our pilots, followed by the looks Maverick and Evan shared.

Oblivious, Xiomara started to speak. “Pranav - “

“BELAY!” Maverick shouted, more forceful than I had ever heard him. “S’crirs fleet, evacuate the field of combat, by any means necessary.  Do not - I repeat - do not allow any Eko-mari ship close enough to sweep you in their well when this goes off! Do not respond, three minute delay.”

“Maverick - “

“Xiomara, respectfully, those are your allies, and you have given battlefield command over to me.” He glanced at Alice, who nodded, before he continued. “That virus is in their ships, and it will go off no matter what once triggered. There is no reason for them to walk through a minefield for us when they can get out of the blast range without changing the outcome.”

“The dreadnought.”

“Is my responsibility,” he doubled-down. “As is this ship, her integrity, and every life out there. With all due respect, I refuse your command as unlawful under Pan American Uniform Code of Conduct.”

She blinked, shook her head, and blinked again.  Finally, she slowly raised her hands in surrender. “I am relieved of duty,” she rasped hoarsely before lowering herself to a seat and hooking her ankles beneath it.

“What the fuck just happened?” Parvati hissed to me, shaking my arm.

I squeezed my eyes shut tightly for a moment, trying to recall. “Pan American Uniform Code of Conduct… Oh. Oh.” When I remembered what it was, I swallowed heavily. “Maverick just relieved her of duty due to… I think commanding a course of action that is illegal under Global Parliament rules of engagement?”

“A war crime!?” she hissed again.

“To keep her from committing one,” I clarified. “He refused an unlawful order, and then relieved her of duty to remove… her from chain of command? Technically on medical grounds, I think? Basically, he formally declared she isn’t in the right frame of mind to be giving commands during combat, and she agreed.”

“And if she hadn’t…?”

“Not a lawyer, but I can guess it wouldn’t be great.”

“Not insurrection, I’ll take it.”

“S’crirs!” Maverick called out, oblivious to our hurried debate. “One minute! Please confirm!”

“We still have ships in range.” Brol was as close to despondent as the translation software could get.

Arthur started switching feet impatiently. “How close can you get to dreadnought without getting shot?”

“With absolute certainty? Further is preferable.”

“With fifty percent certainty,” he insisted. “With your craziest pilots and a lot of hope, how close?”

Brol burbled for a moment. “If we maintain shields, we would still be out of the dreadnought’s gravity well.”

“Drop the shields. Let’s be really crazy.”

“We would be vulnerable to enemy fire.”

Arthur sighed. “Ask Xale, please? Because without that, you’ll be vulnerable to the fact that the enemy sucks, in the worst possible literal sense.”

Ix’al’s voice was next. “Xale insists that if we evacuate the cargo vessels and place them on programming without shields, they may survive, and we would avoid the most casualties.”

“Do it!” I screamed, realising what Maverick was suggesting. “Fewest lives at risk, lossable targets, and it will give a distraction while everyone else gets the hell out of dodge.”

“Thirty seconds,” Maverick counted off. “And I can’t delay that. The Ark will come apart if I don’t do something soon, and right now I can’t change her trajectory.”

Tyche’s head twitched like she was following a particularly close fly. “Maverick. Maintain course for one additional minute.”

“The Ark - “

“Ninety seconds. That’s what we need. Sending plan now.”

It took all of five seconds - the heaviest, longest five seconds I could recall - for him to scan her idea. “S’crirs fleet. You have ninety seconds from mark.  And…. mark!”

Odvub’s voice shimmered across us. “Pirate vessels drawing in proximity to Eko-mari dreadnought, closer than safety protocols. Eko-mari fleet is diverting to those vessels. Communications suspect mass retaliatory detonation of cores - “

“We really should have thought of that,” Arthur muttered.

“Programming now,” Brol apparently agreed. “Our populated vessels are beyond all Eko-mari gravity wells.”

“Pranav!” Maverick turned his attention. “Activate data bomb in five.”

“Four.”

“Three.”

“Two.”

“Brace!”

The Ark rocked and klaxons blared violently, yanking the ship side to side like a car fishtailing on a flat road. “Embedded vessels micro-jumped before detonation,” Huynh confirmed. “Hull integrity at thirty-three percent.”

“Drive cores detonated,” Brol added. “Increased damage to Eko-mari dreadnought due to proximity.”

“No Eko-mari ships detected beyond dreadnought,” Arthur huffed, fighting to keep his balance. “No loss of S’crirs fleet detected beyond intended. Fleet confirm.”

“Confirmed.”

“I am thrilled to know everyone is okay.” Conor’s voice was entirely genuine. “But at this speed, when we hit the gravity well of the star, the Ark is going to come apart and we’ll be face planting into a nuclear bomb.”

“If that dreadnought doesn’t take us out first,” Arthur agreed. “We’re basically in a race for who kills us faster, Maverick: them or us, and they have the lead.”

“Thought you grew up in Pan Am, Farro.” Maverick ground out. When I focused on them, it was clear that both he and Evan were holding the ship on course with force of will, a firm grip, and determination.

“Former California region…” Arthur said hesitantly. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“All hands, brace for maneuver.”

I scrabbled for purchase with not only my hands, but in a vain attempt to brace my feet against structures just too far to apply any force to. It was nothing compared to the efforts of some, who were nowhere near a solid surface despite nearly forty hours of Maverick’s piloting.

“Okima, what does that have to do with anything?” Arthur asked again.

“Batter up,” Mav grunted.

Evan shouted, “Acceleration maneuver, mark!”

As I watched, it looked like the force of the maneuver was pulling Tyche’s body into a sitting position.  I honestly thought nothing of it, at first, because I was so focused on the pilots and listening for any sounds of damage - like the Ark falling apart.

It was when her arm drifted into Evan’s field of vision, only to be swatted away to drift, that I started freaking out. “Tyche!” I shouted. “TYCHE!”

Almost reluctantly, one of her arms pulled in, and her hand clenched to put one finger across her lips. “Shh,” she admonished quietly. “It’s all or nothing now. Just watch.”

“Watch wh-”

Klaxons. Again. “Hull integrity below ten percent. Full breach beginning at Level Seventeen.”

“EVAN!” Maverick shouted suddenly. “CRANK IT!”

All at once, the Ark wrenched to the side and lurched forward. What I could only describe as a full body - full ship? - shudder sent tremors through everyone and everything.

“We’ve lost the drives!” Conor shouted. “Repeat - we’ve lost the drives! They are on a direct collision course for - Mav you son of a bitch!”

“It. Was. Tyche’s. Idea,” Maverick ground out as he forced the Ark on course with Evan’s assistance. “It. Was going. To tear. Loose. Anyway.”

“Pilot Okima,” Noah buzzed in a hideous tone that sounded like flat out panic. “The Ark is not on trajectory for a gravity brake.”

“We’re aware!” Evan forced out. “We should be on course to hit the steam on the hot side!”

“Drives to strike Eko-mari dreadnought in ninety seconds,” Odvub advised.

Evan nodded. “And that should make us fast enough to keep from being yanked into the atmosphere!”

“There is no data to support your conclusions,” Noah insisted angrily.

“Sure there is,” Maverick gasped. “We do this all the time.”

“There is no record of any human using planetary gravity to safely land a vessel,” came the retort.

Arthur started laughing insanely, only to be joined by Charly and Huynh, sparking concerns for everyone’s mental health.

Even our co-pilot was grinning maniacally. “Stop looking for safe landings, and start looking for controlled crashes.”

“Drive collision with Eko-mari dreadnought in three… two… one.”

The closest I could come to describing what happened next was a lurch. Except, we never stopped lurching - it was like riding a slingshot, waiting to see how long the shot lasted. Everyone who wasn’t secured was plastered against the same wall of Level One, grimacing against the pressure.

“Eko-mari dreadnought destroyed.”

I would have cheered if I could draw a breath to do it. They were gone.

“Hitting Kepler Four Four Two gravity well in four.”

Wait, what?

“Three.”

“Two.”

“One.”

A jolt, and the pressure gave up slightly. “Trajectory on course for Von,” Evan gasped. “It won’t be pretty, but we’re on course. No bodies in system to divert course.”

“Please tell me we are on course for the cold side?” I begged miserably.

“Not enough atmo,” Evan argued. “We need the cushion on the hot side. Tropical steam is thick.”

“And no mosquitos,” Tyche added dreamily. “It will be nice, right?”

I cut her a glare, knowing she wouldn’t see it. “Gotta live to enjoy it. That whole thing.”

“On track for Von atmosphere in ten minutes,” Odvub advised.

Charly rallied herself to come over and physically shake me into action - at least until Antoine swatted at her and said something about puncturing a lung.  To be fair, he was irritated enough that he could have meant hers.

“All hands,” I gasped over comms. “Ten minutes under current acceleration to brace for impact with atmosphere.” Taking another breath, I groaned a bit. “We trained for years under more pressure than this,” I assured the ship as much as myself. “We can at least get to safe locations to brace. The safe rooms are open on Levels Three through Ten. Full of smooshy shit. All the water and hard things have been taken out.”

As much as I wanted to get up and help, Antoine only double checked my bandages and pulled a few knots tighter to make sure I didn’t, in fact, get up. One conciliation was stuffing something soft between my spine and bench I was braced against. “Pillow from bunk room,” he added shortly. “We can’t heal spine fractures if this goes right.”

I didn’t even bother trying to ask what would happen if this went wrong.

“Life pods have made impact,” Odvub provided. “Locations centered on the pole designated From, beacons are being tracked by the S’crirs fleet.”

“Noted,” Arthur muttered as he moved to sit against the wall being indicated by slowly flashing lights.

The entrance to Level One irised open, startling everyone. When several people moved toward the door in defensive postures, three hands reached through - two with short stubby fingers, one spidery with too many joints. “I am coming to assist in securing everyone against impact,” Noah buzzed, this time coming from the door rather than the ceiling.

“Five minutes,” Maverick updated us around the time that most people were in secure grips and thick, mushroom feet were vanishing into the deck.

Eino, of all people, struggled the most, insisting that everyone else be secured before he was. Finally, he briskly walked over to Arthur and shoved him to deck, using only the element of surprise. “You are no use dead,” Eino admonished. “Secure your own mask before assisting others.”

“Three minutes.”

Arthur opened his mouth to argue, but Eino shook his head in a - motherly? - disapproval. “No. We are controlling the crash. There are no tactics. There is only surviving.”

More bewildered than I had every seen him, Arthur slowly stood and made his way to where everyone else was being secured against impact. Eino followed closely, waited until he seemed satisfied that his mentee was safe, then surrendered to Noah’s insistence.

“Two.”

“Mav,” I shouted. “You’ve gotta be secured.”

“Noah can secure me here,” he argued. “We still have minor attitude thrust, and I’ll need them to the last minute.”

“Evan, talk some sense into him!”

She shook her head determinedly. “Same here. We go down, I go down.”

“One.”

“Noah!” I screamed. “Do something! Sedate them!”

“I regret that we have very little control of the Ark at this time,” Noah admitted as two of their bodies went to the pilots, both basically sitting on Tyche to secure her to the deck before wrapping all limbs around the pilots as carefully as possible without restricting their arms. “If they state they can improve our chances of survival, I have no choice but to acquiesce.”

“MAVERICK!” I begged. “Please, please…. I know we need you now, but I need you after this. Conor needs you after this. We need you to live…”

“Brace for impact in thirty seconds.”

“NO!” I kept screaming, shouting for Maverick and Tyche until my voice until the last second.

“Impact in ten.”

“Tyche!”

“Nine.”

“GODS DAMMIT, LET ME GO!”

“Eight.”

“NO! NOOO! GODS DAMMIT, I’LL KILL YOU!”

“Seven.”

“Please,” I sobbed. “Please… one of you, both of you…”

“Six.”

“Mav, please.” I could barely breathe, and the last thing I was thinking about was impact.

“Five.”

“TYCHE!” I tried shouting. “This isn’t funny.”

“Four.”

“Sophia, stop!” Arthur shouted. “You’ll kill them if they get up.”

“Three.”

“FUCK YOU!” I spat at my best friend, the taste of metal sharp in my mouth.

“Two.”

I tried to draw a breath, but choked on the blood in my throat.

“One.”

Everything in me shook with pain, and then it was all black.

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[eddisfargo]

I posted 3,305 times in 2022

That's 1,882 more posts than 2021!

7 posts created (0%)

3,298 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@exponentiate

@bbauthor2

@luminarily

@testingcheats0n

@copyrightedpodcasts

I tagged 916 of my posts in 2022

#dracula daily - 233 posts

#ouat - 33 posts

#goncharov - 24 posts

#once upon a time - 22 posts

#psa - 17 posts

#queen's thief - 11 posts

#elon musk - 9 posts

#backreading dracula daily - 9 posts

#skipping the queue - 9 posts

#incredible - 8 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#i sometimes have like a dozen that are still sitting on my default new tab page just because i opened one and then remembered there's a tab

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Not a day will go by (9/?)

Hello my patient friends! Sorry for the wait! It won't be this long again (for real this time)! This is a Christmas fic for last year's Secret Santa, and I've given myself a deadline to finish it before this year's secret Santa. Specifically, I'm trying to finish before December 18, which is mine and @cosette141's birthday! Thanks so much to everyone who's still reading and leaving comments--they keep me going when my brain refuses to write! Thanks especially to @MotherKat for being the best beta EVER! I'm going all out in November, and I've actually already got Chapter 10 written!! So it won't be too long!

Tagging: @resident-of-storybrooke, @everything-person, @teamhook

AO3 Ch 1 Ch 2 Ch 3 Ch 4 Ch 5 Ch 6 Ch 7 Ch 8 Ch 9

Summary: He may not remember his present, but she doesn't know his past. If she did, she wouldn't have married him… right?

See the full post

19 notes - Posted November 5, 2022

#4

Not a day will go by (10/?)

OK, confession: I've had this one mostly-finished for a couple weeks. Nervous about it! Finally earning the M-rating, although it definitely goes nowhere near E. Not a thing I've done before, so your patience is appreciated! I'm really hoping I can finish the fic this month! Wish me luck! Thanks as always to @motherkatereloyshipper for her EXCEPTIONAL beta-ing, and for this BEAUTIFUL cover I just edited in! If you find any errors, they were probably my last-minute pre-post edits!

Tagging: @resident-of-storybrooke @everything-person, @teamhook

AO3 Ch 1 Ch 2 Ch 3 Ch 4 Ch 5 Ch 6 Ch 7 Ch 8 Ch 9 Ch 10

Summary: Hook gets a chance to get to know his wife.

See the full post

20 notes - Posted December 3, 2022

#3

Not a day will go by (7/?)

APRIL FOOL'S.

Get it? The joke is, you thought you were definitely not getting an update of this fic today, but actually YOU DID. The first of 2022 (yikes)!

But seriously, so sorry it took me this long! ADHD is apparently the boss of me much more than I would like. But I'm hoping to get back on--not nearly an every-day posting schedule, but definitely better than every-four-months.

Thanks a bazillion to @motherkatereloyshipper for coincidentally being awake at a million o'clock her time and willing to beta so I could post this on April Fool's!

Tagging: @resident-of-storybrooke   @everything-person @teamhook

AO3 Ch 1 Ch 2 Ch 3 Ch 4 Ch 5 Ch 6 Ch 7

Summary: Captain Hook wakes up in a strange bed, next to a woman he does not remember. He finds nothing particularly unusual about this situation. But the woman seems to know him very well.

In Storybrooke, there’s only one surefire way to get back a lost memory. And it’s not going to work until he loves her.

See the full post

20 notes - Posted April 1, 2022

#2

My beautiful complete set, + a bonus first edition I got from a Secret Santa and the Spanish edition I’m working through! Somewhere I have the Vince Natale edition of The Thief, but I lent it to a student. I’d... better get that back before graduation, huh?

I think I might already have a somewhat more matched set in my classroom, at least part of it. I don’t mind whether I win or not, I just really wanted to share my beauties! 

25 notes - Posted April 1, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

My fellow Friends of Jonathan on the Discord were talking about who they picture when imagine Quincey P. Morris. There were many excellent answers, like Owen Wilson, Woody Harrelson, and Daniel Craig doing his Benoit Blanc accent. 

I apologize profusely but my answer is Doug Dimmadome, owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome. .

42 notes - Posted May 26, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[nenekobasu]

blue lock reversing the light=good dark=bad dichotomy as shown through hiori, several examples:

hiori portrayed as “light” to isagi (when they partner up, isagi is finally with a white background same as hiori’s; in ch.233 hiori the “key” emanates a white light), yet hiori meets karasu at sunset right when darkness is about to fall, he receives his life-changing advice at the moment the world is about to become dark

—first blue lock by making black backgrounds indicative of being the “(would-be) protagonist” making it so that hiori’s white overrides isagi’s black— isagi may have chosen hiori because he wanted to be the protagonist but in doing so he seals his own fate, since he “needs” hiori he can only be the protagonist through hiori so hiori wipes away isagi’s chance at becoming the sole all-important protagonist

—next relating light-dark to hiori by having karasu the guiding god-crow be hiori’s “right” answer and the answer here is towards darkness and night, chase not the blinding light but the fading sun follow the sun’s last rays into the goal (concordant with kaiser’s ideal: “i only need a single ray of hope”)

furthermore karasu warning against thinking of vision/eyes, do not focus on “others’ eyes” the ability to see (all-consuming light) is not what hiori needs, the right path for hiori is the path towards a world of darkness towards embracing that which cannot be seen and following a light that is destined to be extinguished. this i think is the proper endpoint of hiori’s development

+ the contrast between hiori-karasu scene and the scene where hiori kills zombies in his room “in an enclosed dark room and chasing what is always bright” being for hiori an escapist death while “outside as the brightness is fading, chasing a brightness that is destined to fade” this may lead hiori to revelation. either way light is blinding. hiori learn to embrace the dark

[synchronousemma]

15th June: A strawberry-picking party is proposed

Read the post and comment on WordPress

Read: Vol. 3, ch. 6 [42], pp. 231–233 (“It was now the middle” to “‘the very thing to please me’”).

Context

A lame carriage-horse delays the exploring party to Box Hill. Mrs. Elton seizes at Mr. Knightley’s wry invitation to Donwell for a strawberry-picking party.

We know that this occurs in “the middle of June” (p. 231).

Readings and Interpretations

For Want of a Nail

Pat Rogers notes the importance of horses in Austen’s England, despite the inconvenience and expense occasioned by them causing water transport to be cheaper and quicker: “the horse served in the office of car, lorry, tractor, traction engine, moped, racing bike, pet and friend. It was employed by couriers, mailmen and highway robbers. As well as hauling barges, it bore hearses, ambulances, fire-engines, state coaches; and it carried its owner's hopes on the race course and in the hunting field” (p. 428). Horses’ ubiquity is reflected and sometimes played off of in Austen’s works: “We take little notice of the horses in Austen’s novels, but they are there, unobtrusive and essential, as they were in everyone’s lives. A lame carriage-horse delays the trip to Box Hill (E, 3:6), one of a number of strategic deferrals which build up expectations in this book” (ibid). Similarly, James Carson writes of this as the first in a series of examples of how, “[t]oward the end of the novel, Austen structures the very plot on the health and reliability of horses” (p. 176).

Making an Ass of U and Me

This section contains another example of the relationship between ideas and everyday practicalities in what Pam Morris terms “Mrs Elton’s Marie Antoinette posturing in wishing to ride to the strawberry-picking at Donwell on a donkey”:

Mrs Elton’s desire for a donkey as symbol of Arcadian simplicity provides a wonderfully comic image, yet it is typical of Austen’s materialist psychology. Idealist assertions of the mental realm as the primary reality are undercut in her novels as objects persistently point to the way things are required to give substance to the immaterial. Things, in Austen’s texts, demonstrate the necessary interdependence of the subjective and the objective, the idealist and the empirical. We know ourselves, even our interiority, through our interaction with things. […] In this way, Austen’s realism brings to notice a field of visibility—the materiality of human life […]. (p. 93)

Janet Todd points out that, in reality, the donkeys of Jane Austen’s day were “servicable beasts,” and her house in Chawton maintained two: Mrs. Elton’s donkeys, however, are “part of her pastoral kitsch. She has led up to them through her variety of props, her floppy hats, baskets and pink ribbons; the donkeys come in with the ‘caro sposo’” (p. 19). Mr. Knightley responds with the opinion that “‘[t]he nature and the simplicity of gentlemen and ladies, with their servants and furniture, I think is best observed by meals within doors’” (p. 232). But, though Mrs. Elton’s “play-acting in the strawberry beds, if it came off, would not be entirely genteel,” instead “partak[ing] of the anxiety, the uneasy make-believe of the tourist who is not at home in the real world of the country house” (pp. 19–20), Todd sees Knightley’s response as culpable as well:

The Englishman dislikes the pastoral, associated as it was with the doomed French Marie Antoinette and her play-acting as shepherdess at the Trianon hameau with her perfumed sheep […]. Mr. Knightley dislikes this frivolous, perhaps aristocratic, perhaps French falsity. He fears an outdoor lapse of civility if they move from the ordered space of the civilizing dining room with ladies, gentlemen and servants, to a less controlled but equally owned outside arena. But Mr. Knightley himself falls short of another standard, the gentlemanly civility of a less socially anxious age than his own. For in this scene, Mr. Knightley becomes just as rude as Mrs. Elton—and more intentionally so. Indeed it is a recurring aspect of this landowner’s character: he fails often to converse as he ought […]. In opposition to the French, the English liked to associate themselves, with bluff sincerity […]. Mrs. Elton calls Mr. Knightley a humorist; in fact, he is at times simply boorish and insularly proud of being so. (p. 20)

Devoney Looser places more emphasis on the humorousness of Mrs. Elton’s imagined scene:

In encouraging Mrs. Elton to follow her heart and arrive on a donkey—imagining that she will put Jane and Miss Bates on them, too—Mr. Knightley invites his other would-be guests (and Austen’s actual readers, of course) to a campy, circus-like show. Austen, through Knightley, compels us to entertain comic visions of Mrs. Elton’s excesses. […] His line, “I would wish every thing to be as much to your taste as possible,” seems designed for the observant reader’s laughter.

The wished-for donkey scene never materializes, but the conversation encourages readers to conjure up the image: Mrs. Elton, with her entourage, would ride in to the party on an ass, as her caro-sposo husband promenades beside her like a groom, twice over. The conjured scene mimics an arrival into Bethlehem, although Mr. and Mrs. Elton are no biblical Mary and Joseph. That Mrs. Elton would also put Jane and Miss Bates on donkeys offers up a further outlandish biblical approximation. It’s hardly Three Wise Women arriving to pay homage. The narrator suggests that, as much as Mrs. Elton’s ridiculous plan would annoy Mr. Knightley, it would also delight his dry, blunt sense of humor. So this conjured scene would—or should—both annoy and delight the astute reader of Austen. Mrs. Elton’s performing the role of a coddled, wealthy, fashionable Virgin Mary, with Mr. Elton as her sycophantic, accompanying spouse-groom (to an ass no less) is campy-priceless. (pp. 6–7)

Lady Patroness

David Monaghan, who argues that Emma dramatizes the proper assumption on the part of Emma and Mr. Knightley of social and moral authority, writes that “[t]he visit to Donwell marks a further stage in Emma’s reassessment of her role in the Highbury community”:

Like balls at the Crown, excursions to Donwell are not a part of the normal pattern of Highbury life. Mr Woodhouse has not been there for two years, and even the more energetic Emma has been absent for long enough to be ‘eager to refresh and correct her memory’ [vol. 3, ch. 6 [42]; p. 234]. Thus, although the gathering of a few friends to pick strawberries and eat lunch cannot match a ball for excitement, the mere fact that it does happen is an important sign that Highbury is becoming less set in its ways. Indeed, in at least one sense, the visit augurs even better than the ball for the future of the village because it offers clear evidence that Mr Knightley is prepared to take on fully the active moral role that he played briefly at the Crown.

Whereas he was most unwilling to participate in the ball, Mr Knightley now becomes an initiator of social activity. Mrs Elton’s reaction to the cancellation of her visit to Box Hill makes it obvious to Mr Knightley that she is likely to come up with an extremely improper scheme by way of compensation. To avoid this he offers her an alternative form of amusement in the shape of a strawberry-picking party in the grounds of his house, thereby ensuring that her restless energies will be placed under his personal control. The success of Mr Knightley’s manoeuvre is evident in the prompt and firm way he is able to check Mrs Elton’s attempts to be ‘Lady Patroness’: [quotes from “‘It is my party’” to “‘I will manage such matters myself,’” pp. 231–2]. (pp. 134–5)

For Monaghan, then, Mr. Knightley’s invitation is part of a deliberate plan.

Mrs. Elton’s insistence that she is “Lady Patroness” is, of course, just what we expect from her at this point. Morris writes:

The Woodhouses are ‘first in consequence’ in their community due to birthright. They represent neither new money nor new blood, Emma takes pride in thinking. What infuriates Emma is that Mrs Elton utterly refuses to give place or recognition to the old hierarchy of rank upon which Emma relies. ‘I am Lady Patroness, you know. It is my party’, Mrs Elton informs Mr Knightley in regard to the strawberry-gathering at Donwell [p. 231]. She graciously bestows her favour upon Mr Woodhouse, this ‘dear old beau of mine’, and Mrs Weston, ‘I was rather astonished to find her so very lady-like! But she is really quite the gentlewoman’ [vol. 2, ch. 17 [35], p. 197; ch. 14 [32], pp. 180]. By thus sweeping everyone in Highbury into her condescending bestowal of recognition, she magnifies her own imagined idea of self as measured by the extent of her social dominion. Mrs Elton is one of those many characters in Austen’s fiction whose representation seems strikingly to dramatise self as factitious; yet it is a performance driven by embodied needs and passions. Mrs Elton’s discourse resembles a torrent of egoistic energy that sweeps all topics into the vortex of her sense of self-importance. (p. 98)

There is an obvious satire against Mrs. Elton in the statement that her “resources were inadequate to such an attack” as a delay of her outing. Sara Bowen points out the irony:

Whatever his other foibles, Mr. Elton has warned Augusta Hawkins about her possible loneliness in Highbury. Augusta insists that “‘the world I could give up—parties, balls, plays—for I had no fear of retirement. Blessed with so many resources within myself, the world was not necessary to me’” [vol. 2, ch. 14 [32]; p. 179]. Mr. Elton is right in his assessment: Augusta is frantic for the Donwell outing because she “only wanted to be going somewhere” (354); she needs a donkey because “‘it is not possible for her to be always shut up at home’” [p. 233]. (p. 113)

A Real Prince

Colleen Sheehan argues that Emma contains “barbs and innuendoes aimed squarely at the irresistibly large target of the Prince [of Wales, George Augustus Frederick],” who had a reputation for profligacy, debauchery, and self-indulgence. The al fresco dining Mrs. Elton proposes in this section, to the subtle mockery of Mr. Knightley, is one such barb:

If Mrs. Elton, the self-proclaimed “Lady Patroness” of Highbury society, were to have her way, Mr. Knightley’s midsummer’s eve strawberry party, like the Box Hill outing the next day, would be entirely under her direction. In perfectly picturesque fashion, she would have them be a “‘sort of gipsy party,’” with the ladies wearing large bonnets and little baskets hanging on their arms, and everyone coming on donkeys to enjoy a picnic out of doors. Mrs. Elton’s scheme is very much like an actual party held in honor of the Prince Regent’s birthday on 12 August 1811, recorded in the Sussex Weekly Advertiser, replete with hats, baskets, a cold picnic, and donkeys. It too was “a gipsey party,” though it did not take place on Box Hill. Instead, it occurred at Bexhill: “The Prince Regent’s birth day was this year celebrated by the principal inhabitants of Bexhill, in rather a novel manner, by forming themselves into a GIPSEY PARTY. Early in the morning all was bustle—donkies, carts, old wigs, cloaks, hats, &c. &c. were put in requisition, and about eleven o’clock the party, (nearly all in some appropriate character) moved in procession, attended by a great concourse of spectators, to Coden Down, about three miles off, where tents were immediately pitched; an elegant cold PIC NIC collation, from the baskets of the party, was set forth on the grass, and very heartily partaken of. . . . [W]hen the whole party retired, very much gratified with the novel diversion, [they] unanimously agree[d that] the anniversary of their beloved Prince’s Birth-day shall be FOREVER celebrated at Bexhill, in a similar manner.” (n.p.)

Discussion Questions

What textual effects does the attribution of a plot-changing event to something as prosaic as an injured horse have? What might Austen’s motive have been for using this as a plot device?

Was Mr. Knightley in fact joking when he invited Mrs. Elton to Donwell?

Do you think Mrs. Elton’s vision for the Donwell party is likely to be an intentional dig at the Prince Regent?

Bibliography

Austen, Jane. Emma (Norton Critical Edition). 3rd ed. Ed. Stephen M. Parrish. New York: W. W. Norton & Company, [1815] 2000.

Bowen, Sara. “Fanny’s Future, Mary’s Nightmare: Jane Austen and the Clergyman’s Wife.” Persuasions 36 (2014), pp. 100–16.

Carson, James P. “‘One of Folly’s Puppies’: Austen and Animal Studies.” In Global Jane Austen: Pleasure, Passion, and Possessiveness in the Jane Austen Community, ed. Laurence Raw & Robert G. Dryden. New York: Palgrave Macmillan (2013), pp. 165–87.

Looser, Devoney. “Jane Austen Camp.” ABO: Interactive Journal for Women in the Arts, 1640–1830 9.1 (2019), pp. 1–15. DOI: 10.5038/2157-7129.9.1.1172.

Morris, Pam. “Emma: A Prospect of England.” In Jane Austen, Virginia Woolf and Worldly Realism. Edinburgh: Edinburgh University Press (2017), pp. 83–107.

Rogers, Pat. “Transport.” Jane Austen in Context, ed. Janet Todd. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press (2005), pp. 425–33.                           

Sheehan, Colleen A. “Jane Austen’s ‘Tribute’ to the Prince Regent: A Gentleman Riddled with Difficulty.” Persuasions On-Line 27.1 (Winter 2006).

Todd, Janet. “The Anxiety of Emma.” Persuasions 29 (2007), pp. 15–25.

[fiadhaisteach]

Things I’ve Read(ish) This Week* - 2021.11.06

A little something different this week; because I was/am too sick to focus on anthing, I didn’t read anthing new (including chapters, 'cause I didn't want to risk missing any of y'all's awesomeness). Instead I only read my favorite bits & pieces of several stories; sometimes a paragraph before I was distracted (or had to take my glasses off), sometimes a chapter (or two), and so etimes skipping around willy-nilly.

So... a short list of the chapter updates I managed and then a few of the stories I was skipping about because I know them so well, it didn't matter if I was hopscotching through them. (A few may be missing because my brain is still a bit fuzzy).

Subscription Updates

A Singular Shadow by AntlersandFangs - {Solas/MGiT, Cullen/MGiT, Solas & Cullen} (Ch. 64)

Wicked Things, What a Wicked Game to Play by Cracking Lamb (@crackinglamb) - Solas/MGiT (Ch. 57)

Unwritten by UnrealRomance - Solas/MGiT (Ch. 232-233)

Dissonant Verses, Dread Wolf Guide Us by Alexis_Trvlyn (@itsalexistrvlyn) - Solas/F!Lavellan (Ch. 16)

Soladaar Drabbles by Shaykai (@shaykai) - Solas/M!Adaar (Ch. 4)

The Sound of Steel on Stone, Lost Elf by lavellan22 - Solas/F!Lavellan (Ch. 8)

Fade Objects, Object-oriented Fadeology by KeeperSpock (@outragedvulcan) - Solas/F!Lavellan (Ch. 11)

Bloodied & Broken World State, Bloodied and Broken, Rogasha'ghi'lan (The Brave Guide) by youworeblue (@dreadfutures) - Solas/F!Lavellan (Ch. 16)

» side note - multiple chapters may mean multiple updates; or might just be me refreshing my memory, reorienting myself in the story, or rereading some for fun.

Favorite Story Fractured Fairy Tales ReReads

These are just copy/pasta'd from my spreadsheet, so complete works (and some HSE WIPs) will have word cunts & current WIPs (and some HSE WIPs) will have a "fill in the blank" chapter slot. When part of a series, I may, or may not, have touched multiple works, but this is TIRTW easy mode. 😊

Tales of the Fade Walker by Rawrzimon (@rawrzimon) - Solas/MGiT, Iron Bull/F!Trevelyan (Ch. )

Til It Squeaks: A Modern Girl's Take on Thedas, Twist by CrackingLamb (@crackinglamb) - Solas/MGiT - 197,291 words - complete

The DA Alternate Universe Chronicles, For Goodness Bakes by RogueLioness (@roguelioness) - Solas/F!Lavellan - 65,619 words - complete

No Longer A Game by Here_To_Be (@nolongeragameart) - Solas/MGiT - 347,357 words - complete

Becoming Boone, The Unwritten End by SolainRhyo (@solain-rhyo) - Solas/F!Trevelyan - 142,396 words - complete

The Voice of a God by Solverne (@solverne-02) - Solas/F!Lavellan - 32,586 words - HSE WIP

Iwyn Lavellan & Solas: Timetravel AU, ⚜️Temporal Arrangements, ⚜️Temporal Arrangements: Flip POV by Viking_woman (@thevikingwoman) - Solas/F!Lavellan - 29,836 words - each work complete

Keeping Secrets by ElvenSemi (@elvensemi) - Solas/OFC - 593,636 words - HSE WIP

Diary of a Dislocated Knife-ear, Dislocated Souls: Skyhold by LonelyAgain (@thereallonelyagain) - Solas/MGiT, OFC/ OMC (Ch. )

Lies upon Lies by theHidden1 (@the-hidden-1) - Solas/MGiT - 80,819 words - HSE WIP

A Singular Shadow by AntlersandFangs - {Solas/MGiT, Cullen/MGiT, Solas & Cullen} (Ch. )

Companion Anise Lavellan, Savior of the Damned by salexectria (@salexectria) - Solas/F!Lavellan (Ch. )

I Have Found a Home (Ian x Solas), ⚜️You Are Dalish, Are You Not?, ⚜️The Wound is Where the Light Enters You, ⚜️You Brought the Colours Out, ⚜️The Perfect Song At Imperfect Times, ⚜️First Kiss, ⚜️Was it Only a Kiss?, ⚜️Dreaming in Colour, ⚜️Sleeping Together, ⚜️A Name That Fits, ⚜️What Colour is Love?, ⚜️Should I Learn to Kiss and Talk?, ⚜️That Mercy you to others show, show that Mercy to me, ⚜️And My Heart Cannot Be, ⚜️I Cannot Come In (Unless You Dream of Me), ⚜️Naked, Vulnerable, but Completely Content, ⚜️Apodyopis, ⚜️Honey Dust, ⚜️Romantic Firsts, ⚜️Solas & Ian Drabbles, ⚜️Who Am I in Your Arms?, ⚜️The Slightest Ones by theharellan (@theharellan) & TheBraveHobbit (@theshirallen) - Solas/NB!Lavellan – 57,065 words - each work complete (except Drabbles)

Piece by Piece by apfelgranate (@notenoughdragons) - Solas/F!Adaar - 6,299 words - complete

To Start Anew by ZeeTaoHime (@rivainisomniari) - Solas/OFC (Ch. )

I Come To You With Nothing, ⚜️I Come To You With Nothing, ⚜️Love, Burning Bright, ⚜️Companions by CommonEvilMastermind (@commonevilmastermind) - Solas/F!Lavellan - 14,755 words - each work complete

Virtually Faded Universe, ⚜️Protection, ⚜️The Black Devil, ⚜️Virtual Friends, ⚜️Virtually Faded, ⚜️Virtually Torn, ⚜️Virtually Separated, ⚜️Virtually After, ⚜️A Faded Companion°, ⚜️Virtually Unspoken§ by AntlersandFangs (@thededfa) & Celtic_Lass (@thecelticlass) - Glorfindel/OFC, OMC /OFC, Solas/MGiT, Cassandra/MBiT, Thranduil/MGiME - 857,784 words - complete       ° side stories, alt PoVs, & art       § extended scenes for us smut lovers

A Man's Word is His Bond by howlsmovinglibrary (@ashatarsylnin) - Zevran/F!Surana - 35,128 words - complete

A Whole New World by RogueLioness (@roguelioness) - Solas/MGiT (Ch. )

Looking Glass, ⚜️Looking Glass, ⚜️Little Sacrifices, ⚜️Pride's Point of View, ⚜️Looking Glass Tumblr Prompts️ by (@feynites) - Pride/F!Lavellan, past Solas/F!Lavellan - 337,757 words - HSE WIP

The Lioness and the Wolf, The Lioness and the Wolf by Arden (@shift-shaping) - Solas/F!Surana - 155,775 words - complete

pressure point by 17734 - Solas/F!Lavellan (Ch. )

An Elvhen Revolution: Freedom Will Sing by Spade_Storm - Fen'Harel|Solas/MGIT - 33,687 words - HSE WIP

Veilfire Library, That Kind of Lonely by Wootensmith (@wootensmith) - Solas/F!Lavellan - 358,270 words - complete

Prompts and AUs, Marked for Death by oxygenforthewicked (@oxygenforthewicked) - Solas/F!Lavellan - 11,211 words - complete

Isii Lavellan (Non-Canon AUs), ⚜️Tranquility, ⚜️Tranquility: Bonus Material by geekyjez (@geeky-jez) - Solas/F!Lavellan - 128,155 words - complete

There was a lot less reading than this might look like. 😲😆😍

*TIRTW & can recommend (previous weeks & TIRTW Key/Legend)

[chifuya]

SPOILERS

Tokyo Revengers ch 233

Do not open if you don't read/or haven't caught up :)

Okay. I shouldn't find this unbelievable, but I did. Mikey killed South.. brutally kicked and punched him to death. Which means Takemichi's vision came true and it's surprising because his first was of Senju dying but it happened to be Draken :'(

His visions aren't definite unless he or someone else puts a stop to it. But, look at Mikey go ballistic on him. This was harsh.

Mikey has.. I mean he has fully without a doubt, no buffering, completely 100% has lost his mind. He's been through a lot, seen a lot happen. Lost his older brother, sister and Draken who was like another brother to him.

Takemichi trying his hardest to stop him (he kicked Takeomi) and Mikey was like "you're in my way. How do you want to die" HE'S ASKED THAT BEFORE. Takemichi remembers when Mikey first said that but now HE'S NOT JOKING. HE MEANS IT

It's so crazy! Takemichi is just looking at him like "he's not kidding.. this guy ain't kidding. He's really going to kill me!"

"MIKEY STOP!!" was literally what I screamed. If Mikey fucks all of this up then what was everything for? He's the only one Takemichi can time warp from.

Idk wtf will happen now. Takemichi is getting the life beating out of him and no one is even daring to stop Mikey, not even his own gang members. Someone has to jump before it's too late.

[maerambles]

Chapters 23, 24, 25 and 26

Keeper of the Lost Cities - Shannon Messenger (October 2, 2012)

“You know, for a girl who hates doctors, you sure can’t seem to get away from the Healing Center.” [Elwin] (Ch. 23, p. 221)

I bet Sophie’s fear of doctors comes from being able to hear their thoughts from such an early age. The first place she noticed she could hear other’s thoughts was in the hospital, so I can bet that the first person she heard was her doctor and it may not have been good.

“Banshees can sense when someone’s in mortal danger.” [Elwin] (Ch. 23, p. 222)

I wonder why that is?

“But a brain push is a highly specialized skill only the ancients can pull off.” [Elwin] (Ch. 23, p. 223)

List of Sophie’s talents: Telepathy, Telekinesis, Photographic Memory, Blocking, Ability to read ANYONE’S mind, ability to read animal’s mind and Brain Pushes. Seven talents/abilities...

She wasn’t sure she wanted to have things in common with someone who acted like such a brat. [Sophie about Biana] (Ch. 23, p. 226)

You barely know Biana? She hasn’t even been that mean so far. It feels more like Sophie is jealous of Biana’s appearance but that’s just me.

She searched her memories for the rest of the night, but when she went to bed she was no closer to the solution. (Ch. 23, p. 229)

Why do I keep forgetting that Sophie can go through her memories like this it’s legitimately so cool!

For those of you worried you won’t be able to score the required seventy-five percent to pass, I recommend seeing Lady Nissa in the tutoring Center.” (Ch. 24, p. 231)

Lady Nissa?? I wonder who she is I don’t think we’ve heard anything about her.

“Oooh, smart thinking,” Dex agreed, reaching for the rest of his books. (Ch. 24, p. 232)

I did this in middle school, and now my back hates me.

“Which pin did you get?” Marella asked as he pulled out a small velvet pouch, like a Cracker Jack prize. (Ch. 24, p. 232)

Shannon’s age is showing, I was born in ‘99 and I had to google what that was lol.

“Right now there are only one hundred and eighty five unicorns - so that pin is super rare.” [Dex] (Ch. 24, p. 233)

Oh wow, that’s not a lot of unicorns.

“You could have told her that she’s a stuck up snob and you don’t want to be her friend,” Marella offered.(Ch. 24, p. 234)

Is Biana really that bad?? I haven’t seen her be extremely rude to anyone besides Sophie, and her feelings towards her are valid.

“Wait. I’m sorry. It’s just... girls always use me to get to my brother. I guess I sort of expect it.” (Ch. 25, p. 238)

This is so sad. No wonder she’s picky with her friends.

“Maybe you can braid each other’s hair and giggle about what boys you like while you’re at.” [Keefe] (Ch. 25, p. 239)

Can we stop with this.

Jealousy flared in Biana’s eyes as Keefe wrapped an arm around Sophie’s shoulders. (Ch. 25, p. 239)

Does Biana like Keefe???

Most Telepaths could only isolate a general area, but Sophie could nail down the exact spot. (Ch. 25, p. 240)

List of Sophie’s talents: Telepathy, Telekinesis, Photographic Memory, Blocking, Ability to read ANYONE’S mind, ability to read animal’s mind, Brain Pushes and exact thought tracking. Eight talents/abilities... albeit some are connected to being a Telepath but most are things that other’s can’t even do.

Sophie sighed as Marella flled everyone in on her almost weekly explosions. (Ch. 25, p. 244)

Oh my gosh Sophie this is actually so insane!! Lady Galvin must be PISSED.

She didn’t deserve sympathy. She didn’t deserve anything. (Ch. 25, p. 246)

Later in the books, it mentions that elves don’t deal well with guilt. I’m assuming this is why Sophie has such a drastic reaction to cheating on her exam. Also, it could be a way to show how incapable Sophie of doing something horrible. It’s defiantly interesting.

They’d [Grady and Edaline] just nodded, forgave her, and hoped she didn’t get in too much trouble. (Ch. 26, p. 248)

Grady and Edaline are such good parents, I adore them.

Sophe released the breath she’d been holding. (Ch. 26, p. 249)

Everyone’s favorite line, lol.

Alden was reporting on her too? (Ch. 26, p. 250)

Why is he reporting on her? I feel like he should be on her side, but he seems to never tell her anything.

“It’s hardly a secret that you tried to stop his wedding with Della.” [Tiergan] (Ch. 26, p. 250)

TIERGAN HOLY SHIT?? He knows the tea! This is so interesting, I would love to know more. I’m reading the annotated edition and Shannon says there’s a lot of background for the adult characters that she had to cut out. I would to read something about that! Would especially love to read about what Prentice and Jolie are like since we only experienced them with them already being passed away.

“I’ll serve the detention.” (Ch. 26, p. 251)

Sophie, our selfless queen!

An earsplitting shrill whine - part whale song, part nails on chalkboard, with just the right amount of screaming toddler - reverberated through the rooms. (Ch. 26, p. 253)

Oh wow, I though Sirens were supposed to have a pretty sound? I guess that’s not true in the Keeper world.

“You keep claiming you’re not mysterious, but who are you kidding?” [Keefe] (Ch. 26, p. 253)

Keefe’s favorite word for Sophie so far: Mysterious.

“Remember the reekrod someone put in Dame Alina’s office a few months ago?” (Ch. 26, p. 253)

Reekrod - an original thing from Miss Messenger!

His palms [Valin] were cold and sweaty and a blob of drool settled in the corner of his mouth and never went away. (Ch. 26, p. 254)

How is a person this nasty existing in the elven world lol. No offense to Valin, I know he’s a 12 y/o boy, but I can’t imagine a person existing like this in our world let alone the “perfect” elven world.

“Too bad I can read what you’re feeling without physical contact.” [Keefe] (Ch. 26, p. 255)

Can he turn this on or off or is he constantly feeling the emotions of others? Questions Questions...

“If you must know, yes, your emotions are stronger than others.” [Keefe] (Ch. 26, p. 256)

More ~interesting~ abilities to make Sophie stand out more. I believe this is more to connect Sophie and Keefe more, but still.

Sophie wasn’t allowed anywhere near them, forced instead to sit alone in a corner while Keefe winked at her and Valin stared and drooled. (Ch. 26, p. 256)

Ok but she didn’t actually do the punishment (as weird as it was?) which is something I would be happy about it. I’m surprised Keefe didn’t say anything about this treatment lol.

Did she really pick iron purification - the easiest transmutation in alchemy? (Ch. 26, p. 257)

Ok, but why didn’t Lady Galvin just tell her earlier in the book? Wouldn’t that save them both a lot of trouble?

Ok!! Just wanted to upload this because it’s been a while since I uploaded something lol.

[education-and-sadness]

Monday, March 28th, 2022

Today was really good. I was kind of upset in the morning and didn’t go to my first few classes, but made up for it tonight with my work. 

EES-105 3/28 notes

EES-105 3/28 presentation (easy) 

EES-105 Ch. 16 vocab

ANT-102 3/28 notes

ANT-102 Ch. 11 vocab

PS-233 2 case briefs

All that, plus a ton of club work. Tomorrow is going to be busy, but good. I believe in myself. I also made an appointment with the counselors at school because I’ve really really been struggling. 

[pixie-mask]

Golden Kamuy catch up pt3

Ch 233-237

I’m glad chapter 233 started with a convict count for the remaining tattoos

Asirpa travels with precious dumbass

The humor in this manga would probably be unappealing in something else, but it’s delivered so well.

Fucking Shiraishi just straight up out did Pennywise with that face

I’ve got no comments for that guy’s face other than that his eyes are freaky.

Yes! A reminder to one of the best arcs

Vasily has become very adorable

Also I love how Shirashi gets to show so much intelligence lately. It feels like it’s been a while and its being delivered with a lack of comedy to it. I really like it

Said it once, said it twice and now for a third time, Dear Lord  Boutarou is so hot!

Also he just summoned his inner JJBA energy with that fucking way he jumped on that damn ship

I think he’s the only convict to genuinely be glad to see Shiraishi I think

That rumor better be false. I’m going to be quite pissed if all that tattoo shit was for nothing

OMG, this fucking postman

And there goes Vasily

Fucking man just swinging an anchor

Sugimoto-Big brother mode activated

Also just took a fucking anchor to the face

Thank you Asirpa

Sugimoto’s been immortal since a teen

So it’s just me, but this is the first time I’ve seen someone be killed by a riverboat wheel

Laughed two minutes over that Sugimoto-Shiraishi interaction

Thank you Sugimoto for saving him

AND 

I am now caught up! That was too much to take in one go. But omg, I’m finally upon the story. Just one other manga to catch up on.

[autobot2001]

I posted 233 times in 2021

220 posts created (94%)

13 posts reblogged (6%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 0.1 posts.

I added 1,114 tags in 2021

#transformers - 123 posts

#ao3 - 120 posts

#ao3 link - 118 posts

#wattpad writer - 117 posts

#wattpad - 117 posts

#also on ao3 - 112 posts

#ffn.net - 111 posts

#wattpadreaders - 101 posts

#wattpad story - 100 posts

#transformers autobots - 95 posts

Longest Tag: 36 characters

#transformers more than meets the eye

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

After TF2| Ironhide X Cybertronian Femme  Reader: A Little Vacation

Author: Autobot2001 Genre: Fanfiction Fandom: Transformers Rated: M Warning: Sexual content. Pairing: Ironhide and Reader Descrption: Pt, 1: The Party: After the battle in Egypt, Optimus Prime gives everyone a week off.  You ask Ironhide if he'd like to stay at your house, and of course, he says yes, but will he say yes to going to a party and slow dancing?  Also, you decide it's time to get Ironhide to live with you at your home, and this vacation is a good opportunity too.  Links: Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31169258/chapters/77028674 FFN:  https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13805420/20/Transformers-Book-of-One-Shots Wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/1066581410-transformers-book-of-one-shots-requests-open-after

Pt,2; Description: You bring up talking about Ironhide moving in with you and starting a family. He tells you to wait until the end of the vacation, which worries you. Ironhide realizes this by Wednesday and Decides to have the conversation. You are worried about what he'll say. Links: Ao3:  https://archiveofourown.org/works/31169258/chapters/77037938#workskin FFN: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13805420/21/Transformers-Book-of-One-Shots Wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/1067474307-transformers-book-of-one-shots-requests-open-after

5 notes • Posted 2021-05-08 18:52:34 GMT

#4

Another Upcoming Story; Sunstreaker’s Charge

This is another upcoming story. I have several stories I'm starting and a longer list of ideas.

Description ( this might change): When Lily goes with her older brother, Luke, to his work at  N.E.S.T., Lily meets several Autobots. One Autobot catches her interest; Sunstreaker. After seeing how he acts towards anyone — human or Autobot — she realizes he needs a friend, but it's going to be hard, even though both have two things in common; both have no friends and love art. 

Lily ignores Sideswipe's warning and tries to talk to Sunstreaker, even after their first attempt doesn't go so well.  Being a determined child, she refuses to give up.  

Some humans who despise the idea of the Transformers being allowed to live on Earth find out Lily has been around the Autobots and kidnap her.  Sunstreaker is among the Autobots who hear the humans' threat and  Lily's plea for Sunstreaker to save her before crying.   The frontliner, who's known to despise humans, leads the mission with Autobots and humans to save Lily. 

I'm working on a holoform page.

5 notes • Posted 2021-05-18 01:57:04 GMT

#3

Cross in The Light 60

Author: Autobot2001

Genre: Fanfiction

Fandom: Transformers

Rating: T

Warning: none

Pairing: None

Description: It's the day of the trust-building paintball game. Everything goes well for a while until a concerning scream is heard.

Links;

Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26753878/chapters/86941645

FFN: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13709614/61/60

Wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/1150064340-cross-in-the-light-ch-60

6 notes • Posted 2021-11-03 22:33:35 GMT

#2

Unpopular Story  Ideas

I have some likely unpopular ideas with these three Transformers.

1. Sunstreaker

I know people write Sunstreaker falling in love with their OC, but he's portrayed as yandere and possessive. That's not how he'll be in Haven and future stories. Yes, I know; my story so I can write what I want. Though if it'll make people mad, do I dare? Anyway, I believe there's a logical reason behind Sunstreaker's decision to not demand Jamie be a submissive femme. If course, the story isn't going to start out good and will have good moments and rough moments. Sunstreaker's possessiveness isn't going away 100%

2. Knockout

I know at the end of Transformers Prime, Knockout could have been a sore loser and simply saying he's joining the winning team, but there's Shockwave, Soundwave, and Dreadwing who'd refuse to surrender, yet Knockout did easily. Unpopular opinion; I feel like he would have joined the Autobots if given the time. Shame they didn't do anything with this in RID ( 2015).

So I'll be writing a story, Forbidden Friendship, starting at the beginning of TFP with changes, chapters between chapters based on episodes, and after the last episode. Though I haven't figured out how many chapters I'll write after the show ends before starting the RiD (2015) story.

I was thinking about changing things and adding Crosshairs and Drift, but I'm not sure. Should this be unpopular opinion 3? 😆

3. Slipstream

She's a character with different stories depending on the series. A clone of Starscream, a con in TF Cyberverse ( but she died so...), and a member of “The Rise”   in the 2019 IDW comics, but it's been over a year since she's been in an issue & she was in 3 issues.

So....my likely SUPER UNPOPULAR idea.

👉🏼👈🏼

Slipstream meets Jamie and is beginning to realize being a con is scrap.

This is one of the ideas I'm really not sure about. Definitely don't want to write if people will be livid. Also, Knockout & Slipstream ship? Not sure... put that under maybe unless you also hate this idea.

The plan; This will have to be a story where a few members of The Rise are accidentally sent to another dimension, and accept being under Megatron in that dimension command. They are sent to attack some Autobots, and Jamie is with them. Further details pending

I’m not sure if Slipstream has the same design and just looks different in the comics, but I like how she looks in the comics. If that’s a different design then I’m going with that one. I couldn’t find a picture of IDW Slipstream without a background. If it’s the same, then easy for me to describe LOL.

4. If you read Transformers fanfiction, even if it's not mine, you've likely come across an OC X Transformer ship. They're always dating. One story I know of that goes further, but as of now, it's discontinued.

So...👉🏼👈🏼

I want to write that kind of story with my Drift X Jamie ship, but this would be an alternate universe to my fanfiction series for several reasons. There will be changes.

The funny thing is while I'm uncertain if people will like the idea, I've made this a series and already wrote 40 chapters for the first book. 😆

So, what do you think about these story ideas?

15 notes • Posted 2021-04-04 09:28:56 GMT

#1

Heros Are Not Perfect

Author: Autobot2001 Genre: Fanfiction Fandom: My Hero Academia Rating: T Warning: None Pairing: Sakamata Kugo | Gang Orca X female reader Desceiption: (Y/N) He loves Kugo and is happy to be married to him, even if he's twelve on the hero list. She worries he's been working too hard and is hoping to get him to take a little break even though he can't completely take a break from being a hero. At least he can hold off on UA work. She thinks Kugo is only helping with a case, but he secretly works on UA stuff which infuriates her. She's tired of the lies and calls for a divorce. Kugo's world is falling apart. Can he repair the damage?

Links; Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33234322/chapters/82517953#workskin FFN: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13938448/1/Heros-Are-Not-Perfect Wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/1115032812-heros-are-not-perfect-pt-1

w18 notes • Posted 2021-08-14 02:37:05 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

Well I guess I need to watch MHA and figure out a story 😆 also still can't believe the post about possible unpopular opinion s for stories is being found and liked. I'm working on those stories. I see Sunstreaker's Charge is highly anticipated, but no pressure.

[instituteofgeorgianhistory]

Confessional Issues of NATO’s Eastern Enlargement: Search for a Common Saint

Tedo Dundua

Emil Avdaliani

Bulgaria and Romania, West and Northwest parts of the Black Sea shores, are NATO members. Both joined the organization in 2004. It is now time for Ukraine and Georgia, the rest of the Black Sea, to join the alliance.

NATO member states are characterized by identical values such as democracy, regional and global security, environ protection etc. Similar values are present in NATO-aspirant states (Ukraine and Georgia) too.

The NATO alliance is a military alliance interested in establishing Eurasian security. A closer look at the map of NATO’s Eastward expansion, however, shows that the alliance essentially grows mostly where the confessionally Orthodox Christian states are located. Turkey being a notable exception, NATO member states are predominantly Christian where Protestant, Catholic and Orthodox versions of the same religion do exist.

Still, there is a common confessional fundament between the Western and Eastern parts of Europe exemplified in the third or fourth pope of the Rome. Pope Clement was banished to Crimea (modern Ukraine) where martyred, while his disciples spread Christianity in Western Georgia.

Below is the story of Clement, the pope whose life could serve as a common ground for the cooperation between Western and Eastern parts of Europe with the NATO alliance serving as a driving force.

“He assembled the whole province by preaching; everyone coming to Clement was converted to his doctrine about the Lord; more than 500 persons used to be baptized by him daily and then – dismissed. 75 churches were built there in one year by the true faith, and all the idols – destructed, all the temples in neighboring regions – demolished, 300 miles around everything being destroyed and leveled due to his permanent work” (Martyrium S. Clementis. XXII. Patrologiae Graecae Tomus II. Paris. 1886, p. 630).

This aggressive and obviously exaggerated proselytism is an “apocryphal” deed of either the third, or the fourth bishop of Rome (the Pope), Clement (92-101). Indeed, this is an amalgam from apocryphal Greek acts of martyrdom, dated by the 4th c. Clement was banished from Rome to Chersonesus (Crimea) by Emperor Trajan (98-117) and set to work in a stone quarry. Still, he managed to go on with his Christian propaganda (Martyrium S. Clementis, pp. 627-630).

Clement could really inspire a creation of Christian organizations in those regions. But nobody could have ever believed the story about destruction of the idols and the temples in the 1st c. A.D. And under whose protection and by whose money could be those churches built?! So, the whole story is to be believed only partly. Then, what is about 300 miles (Roman mile is equal to approximately 1480 m.) mentioned there?! If it is true, then Pitius, city in Colchis/Lazica (Western Georgia), and its outskirts fall within this range. Still, there is a major problem to be solved for Clement – was he in Crimea, or is this again a fiction? The narrative of his martyrdom in Crimea is not older than the 4th c. (Trajan orders Clement to be thrown into the sea with an iron anchor attached). Even Eusebius writes nothing alike (Ph. Schaff. History of the Christian Church. Vol. II: Anti-Nicene Christianity. A.D. 100-325. First Published 1882. Third Edition, Revised. http://www.ccel.org/ccel/schaff/hcc2.html, pp. 399-405; Clement of Rome. The Oxford Dictionary of the Christian Church. Edited by F. L. Cross. Third Edition Edited by E. A. Livingstone. Oxford University Press. 1997, p. 360; Eusebius. HE. III. IV. 6-11, III. XI. XV, III. XX. XXI, III. XXXVII. XXXVIII, Eusebius. The Ecclesiastic History. With an English Translation by K. Lake. In Two Volumes. I. London: W. Heinemann, New York: G. P. Putnam’s Sons. MCMXXVI, pp. 197, 233, 235, 241, 289). But the lack of tradition that he was buried in Rome is in favor of him having died in exile (Ch. G. Herbermann. Pope St. Clement I. The Catholic Encyclopedia. Volume 4: Clandestinity-Diocesan Chancery. New York. 1913, p. 36).

Mikhail Sabinin (М. Сабинин. Полные жизнеописания святых грузинской церкви. В 2-х частях. СПб. 1871. Ч. 1, pp. 33-34. http://krotov.in­fo/libr_mi­n/18_s/a­b/in­in_01.htm) and Mikhail Tamarashvili (M. Tamarashvili. The Georgian Church from the Beginning to the Present Time (in Georg.). Materials and Researches. 3. Tbilisi. 1995, pp. 189-190) thought of Clement’s converts working hard in Colchis/Lazica for the faith, both of them having in mind the proximity of Northern and Eastern Black Sea coasts, and not these 300 miles mentioned in the narrative. It is highly likely that the note about the exact distance is not to be ignored.

Thus, apocryphal acts of the martyrdom show Clement’s large-scale missionary labor and his life proves the possibility of cooperation between the Western and Eastern parts of Europe.

[bigrovsky]

132/365 First proper go since Covid Vaccine on Saturday and getting fitter all the time Managed to get round again with no walking sections Today I will do what others won’t so that tomorrow I can do what others can’t 233 days to go If anyone can spare even £1 to help this magnificent charity it would be massively appreciated Thanks again to the wonderful people that have donated so far https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/valery-evorovsky?utm_id=92&utm_term=q8zP9nexR #wirralwings #running #running365 #running365daysinarow #nodaysoff #2milesormoreeverysingleday #jockowillink #getafterit #everydayismonday #iamthemasterofmyfateiamthecaptainofmysoul #goggins #trainhard #fitnessjourney #underarmour #garmin #strava #on #oncloudflyer #mentoo #mentooarmy #journeymen #workingawayisnoexcusetonotgetafterit #progresseveryday #getshitdone #healthiswealth #running #ch (at Lichfield) https://www.instagram.com/p/CMyqgouDslP/?igshid=12vd2unqjko10

[yersina]

aso i watched the first episode of the third season of shokugeki no soma just now (i would have watched it yesterday but i uh forgot), which was... interesting. I’m caught up with the manga as of this point in time (i might actually be missing ch 233, but i’m too lazy to go and see if it’s come out yet), so yeah. i totally take back when i teased my friend that time when i found out he was really into sns. 

I was actually really surprised when i watched the opening cause it seems like they’re planning on taking this at least up to when azami takes over the school. i’d assumed from the pre-release posters/covers and stuff that it’d only be going through the moon festival or whatever but based on the scenes in the opening, they’re planning on taking it a lot further? I guess it depends on how many episodes it’s getting. does anyone know?

I think the thing that struck me most while i was watching this episode was how masculine kuga and tsukasa seemed, lol. i remember spending a really long time being confused about whether kuga was supposed to be a guy (like up until someone finally used a pronoun for him, i think) cause he looked really damn feminine in the volume cover (like vol 8, i think? jeez, such a long time ago lol no nvm just looked it up it’s vol 15). tsukasa too, though it took a lot less time for him. :P   but yeah i guess the voice actor being a guy helps a lot lol

i guess in order to fit in with the pacing of the anime, they kind of had to mess with how the pacing of the episode was going to work, but i was a bit surprised that they decided to gloss over the meeting with the elite 10 like that. idk i guess it’s not super important, but it’s kinda useful for getting a hang of their personalities

if we go off the opening (again), i think season 3 is gonna take us from the moon festival maybe up to when yukihira challenges tsukasa? which would be like. so many chapters. like 40 chapters? and the moon festival is like 15 or so, so if we’re assuming that the season is getting 24 episodes, then this arc is gonna be like 8 or 9? which leaves the rest for azami and his shenanigans, which honestly is a lot better than i was expecting, so that’s cool. that’s assuming that the anime follows this trajectory, of course

I can’t really write much of a review on one episode, lol so i guess i’ll stop here

[education-and-sadness]

February 15, 2022

Today was pretty productive and I had my first exam of the semester! I think I did really good. Also picked out some books from the library that I’ll showcase tomorrow. 

Sent an important email

Updated website for HPSC

IG post for TTC

EES-105 email to interviewees

EES-105 lab 

EES-105 study for 2/16 exam

HST-102 pick out books 

PS-233 exam

PS-141 2/15 notes

PS-141 Ch. 4 vocab

CS-115 discussion post

CS-115 discussion post reply 1

CS-115 discussion post reply 2

[notthatiwilleverwriteit]

I don't think we will ever get to see a verbal love confessions from either mo or tian. Mo is a tsundere so he will never confess, but i feel like tian will show his love for mo with actions, i have a feeling that in the future they will have a only physical relationship because they wouldn't confess their feelings and then it will develop into a proper relationship with time. What do you think?

Good evening, dear anon-san!

“I don’t think we will ever get to see a verbal love confessions from either mo or tian.”

It kind of depends on what you mean by “verbal confession” but in short, I would doubt too that we will ever get one. And to be honest, I don’t have a major problem with it. In fact, I’d find it quite out of character, especially in Mo Guan Shan’s case. I know readers find confessions in fiction satisfying because they’re so often the climax of a story but I’ve actually come to find more satisfaction and reward in the gradual progress demonstrated by little details. So much so that the subtlety has even become my most favorite aspect of Tianshan. I love how their feelings are more or less between the lines and expressed through their actions. Also as a writer, that’s totally my jam and aesthetics.

Still, all that being said, I can’t deny I sometimes wish we would get…more. But I try to remind myself that getting enough and getting too much is a fine line to tread. As a fic author, while tossing in my lovey-dovey withdrawls I’ve sometimes crossed that line with Tianshan and it’s just felt so wrong.

“Mo is a tsundere so he will never confess”

As I already mentioned, I doubt we will get to see a verbal confession by MGS which is mostly due to his 110% pure tsundere nature. I don’t know if it’s because I’m such a tsundere myself in real life but I find that kind of endearing and can relate to it. I wouldn’t go as far as saying I’m incapable of verbalizing my feelings at all but my stronger suit would definitely be demonstrating them via little things and actions. Then again, one of my greatest fears in relationships is that my S/O doesn’t feel loved and cared for enough that way. People can’t read thoughts after all and often crave for verbal confirmation and reassurance.

But even if there probably won’t be a grand confession, it doesn’t mean MGS can’t have feelings for HT. At this point in the story, I do think it’s still way too early to say he’s in love with HT but there have definitely been developments of MGS warming up to him and being increasingly conscious of him (ch. 233, 243, 254, 273, and 283):

It’s crumbs, it’s subtle, and it’s slow, but more importantly it’s true to MGS’s character and accumulating. MGS can be frustratingly reluctant but on the other hand, he puts a lot of thought into it when he feels ready to progress. We tsunderes might not excel at verbalizing our feelings but they run deep and true nevertheless. Whatever HT is building with MGS is developing slowly but eventually, their romantic relationship will stand on a solid foundation. MGS won’t forget him even when he shows up every once in a while. 

“but i feel like tian will show his love for mo with actions“

I’m glad you mentioned HT as well because I’ve actually been wondering about this side of his character lately. He’s very action-oriented and forward but could he actually confess his feelings out loud in a serious way? By “serious” I mean without the devil horns or the mischevious smirk or being too pushy and physical?

Because oftentimes I feel like his feelings are right there but they’re hidden under the possibility that his words could be taken as a joke or him trying to rile up MGS. Case in point (ch. 305):

I’ve mentioned that moment briefly in one of my earlier answers and said that I think HT was being serious in his own way. It’s clear to us by now that he’s afraid of losing MGS but at the same time, isn’t really open or clear about it. Instead, he tends to act out before admitting what’s bugging him. Even with the earrings, he hides his plea of sorts behind a somewhat playful question. And I think HT might even occasionally sneak those little moments in on purpose because he knows he can “get away with them” since MGS is so quick to rise to the bait and miss HT being honest and open.

In a way, I think HT is well aware of what a vulnerable feeling love is and goes over the top with his advances in a possessive and overbearing way or makes them into a provocative joke that riles MGS up. That kind of love can be quite one-sided and unbalanced. By “one-sided” and “unbalanced” I mean that MGS is the only one having to bare himself and allow himself to be put in a vulnerable position. HT cares for MGS and doesn’t want to lose him but at the same time, that kind of protector-protected dynamics creates a distance and isn’t sustainable in a long run.

Now, before you go back to what I said earlier about Tianshan being built on a strong foundation, allow me to add that HT has also gone through some great character development. He still views himself very much as the savior, but there have been more and more occasions when he’s shown his vulnerable and insecure sides (ch. 255, 260, 291, and 297):

That last panel especially was a big step. By listing things he admires in MGS he effectively revealed what he hates about himself and is insecure about. And to top it all off, he put himself in a vulnerable position by going as far as asking MGS to not reject and abandon him even if he’s not worthy of someone like MGS.

There’s one panel that I’ve always been wondering when it comes to HT showing his love and affection without the devil horns or even being too pushy (ch. 284):

True, he’s not exactly asking for MGS’s consent but that touch still seems vastly different than his usual moves. He’s not joking around, pushing MGS down by force, or doing it to get a reaction out of MGS. I think the panel might even reflect what HT’s vulnerable kind of love could be like. It’s forward but not overbearing, there’s a possessive scrape of teeth in there but it doesn’t hurt and the touch is as soft as MGS’s nape. Interestingly, though, it also seems like HT is yet again hiding his face from MGS.

I think HT is currently finding it easier to give than to receive love and hesitant to ask for it. But once he figures those things out, I don’t see why he couldn’t very well confess his feeling out loud.

“i have a feeling that in the future they will have a only physical relationship because they wouldn’t confess their feelings and then it will develop into a proper relationship with time”

Interesting. I see it working in a completely opposite way. Perhaps it’s because there seems to be a difference in how much significance we put on the confession. I don’t really consider it as important that there should be a verbal confession. Nor do I think it’s only then that they can start being in a relationship and move on to things like sex.

More importantly, though, I find it very unlikely that MGS would start a physical relationship with someone without first gaining serious feelings for them. Of course, the relationship could (and probably would) continue to deepen with a physical aspect added into the mix, but I feel like he’d definitely have to be sure of his and the other party’s feelings before getting physical.

I see HT more capable of having casual relationships if MGS wasn’t a part of his life but I doubt he’d want something like that with MGS. Jumping to things like sex before their relationship is solid enough would defeat the character development he’s gone through as he fell in love with MGS and won him over. He would have not only gained MGS’s trust but also become confident in himself and comfortable enough to let MGS so close. He could joke about sex but would also want to make sure it’s what MGS wants and that he’s aware of what having sex with him will mean and the weight it will carry in their relationship. I see him viewing sex as a seal of sorts.

But then again, this kind of fictional relationship dynamics appeals to me so my bias could be too strong.

In any case, it’s still fun to imagine what a Tianshan confession would be like. Personally, I would love to see the same kind of confident MGS as we saw when he asked HT for the studs. And who knows, maybe OX will give us one someday, with a Tianshan twist. After all, there were times when we thought we would never get even this far!

Thank you for your interesting and challenging question, dear anon-san!