#also shoutout everyone else in the trailer too everyone looking good

[lqlarry]

Jjk team i need you to be so fucking fr rn. this man is literally just breathing and i feel like i need a lobotomy

[duhnova]

Cry-Baby | Choi Seungcheol

synopsis. decked out in leather and riding a harley davidson like he’s got business with the devil, choi seungcheol was the talk of your small town. everyone looked down on him and when you come home for the first time since starting uni you find it hard to believe that the pouty lipped kid you tossed off the merry-go-round when you were six was some slick haired delinquent. 

pairing. biker!choi seungcheol x fem!reader 

word count: 4.9k

genre. fluff, angst, opposites attract, drama?, kind of college au

warning(s): mentions of parent death, mentions of parent illness, alcohol, let me know if i forgot anything!

this is apart of a 90's collab! you should check out everyone elses fics! - there might be a smutty & more angsty part 2 to this if there’s enough interest! also huge shoutout to @onlyhuis and @onlymingyus for proofreading for me, ily guys <3

When you left for university three years ago you never wanted to return home, the small town always made you feel claustrophobic. But now you’re sitting on a train, about an hour away from your childhood, the sony walkman you got as a graduation present from high school sat in your lap as you listened to the same nirvana cassette on repeat. 

The nerves of being home began to get to you as the familiar views of the old trailer park that sat outside your town came into view. An old pickup truck that adorns the same white and blue paint of your best friend's truck drives down the road that travels along the train tracks and it makes you wonder if it’s him coming to meet you at the station.  

“We’ll be arriving at the station within the next five minutes.” The worker smiled at you as she continued down the aisle of seats to tell the other patrons of the cart that the train will be stopping for a couple minutes at your stop before embarking to the next station. 

You put your walkman in your pocket so that you aren’t scrambling to gather your things when the train stops. Just as you got your backpack situated the train jolted a little as its breaks screech to a stop. 

“Ladies and gentlemen we have reached our next stop.” The worker's voice is drowned out by your music as you stand up and grab your suitcase before hopping out the door with the worker's help in lifting your bag down. 

“Thank you!” You call out and wave as the door closes and the train takes off again, no one else got on or off. 

“Y/N!” You hear a familiar voice call from behind you, the roar of a diesel engine brings a certain comfort to you that you haven’t felt since you left. 

“Gyu!” You call out with a smile on your face, the change in his appearance being more shocking in person than you thought it would be, having only seen him in pictures he sent from the crappy disposable cameras he and his friends like to use. All the work he’s been doing on his family's ranch has paid off as his muscles glisten with dirt and sweat. 

“I’ve missed you cherry pop.” He hugs you tightly as you laugh at the nickname he gave you years ago because you always had cherry lollipops on you. 

“I’ve.. missed you too.” You choke between laughs and the way he was squeezing you a little too tightly. 

“Sorry,” He laughs as he lets you go to grab your suitcase instead. “Are you hungry? It was a long travel day for you.” 

“I could eat.” You smile as you take your headphones off to let them rest around your neck as you follow your best friend to his truck that was still running and emitting a gross smell of diesel. 

“Great, let’s go to pops diner.” He lifts your suitcase over the side of the truck bed like it was nothing before he opens the door for you to get in. The leather of his seats were warm from his heater that left the cabin toasty unlike the train car you had been sitting in almost all day. 

“How are you?” You ask about the owner of the diner who was well into his 70’s at this point, his restaurant having been open for almost five decades at this point.

“He’s doing good, got his hip replaced last summer,” Mingyu shifts the car into drive after he reversed out of the spot he parked at. “Still kickin, Cheols mom still works there too.” The mention of your old childhood playmate makes you smile bittersweetly. The last time you two had talked was before you left for college and he seemed angry about everything in life and he took it out on you leaving a sour taste in your mouth and the lack of communication between the two of you over the past few years.  

“That’s nice, how is she doing? I remember last you told me she was in the hospital for something.” Mingyu sighs a little from beside you.

“Yeah she was, took me forever to get anything out of Cheol about it but she’s doing good now. Or so I’ve been told.” Seungcheol had always been hard headed and he’d rather talk about other people's problems than his own so it didn’t surprise you that Mingyu had to dig for some type of answer from him. 

“Is she working today? I’d love to see her…” Your voice trailed off as you thought about the lady’s son, who you desperately wanted to see as well but how you left things made you hesitant.

“Not today, she’s off for the weekend.” You nod, mumbling that it’s nice that she takes the weekend for herself. 

“I know you and Cheol had some blowout when you left but I’m going to see him later after I drop you off, if you wanna come with you’re more than welcome too.”

“What’re you two doing?” Mingyu was surprised you didn’t immediately shoot down his offer, he thought it would take more convincing.

“We’re going to the river for a bonfire with Jeonghan and Wonwoo.”

“They’re home too?” They had both left for college around the same time you had.

“Yeah, they come home every break they can.. Unlike someone I know.” He laughs lightheartedly. You huff quietly, unsure of how to respond. How do you respond anyways? You never wanted to come back, memories weighed heavy on your heart and the only thing keeping you to your hometown was the friends that resided in it.

“Hey,” Mingyu's voice softens. “I get it, you got out when you saw the chance and I’m proud of you.” 

“Thank you.” Your voice was just as soft as you watched the familiar scenery zip by. A nice silence fell between the two of you as he focused on driving, the train station sitting a couple miles out from the town you used to live in. 

“The bank sold the house by the way.” Mingyu broke the silence, a nervous sweat settled on his forehead as he broke the news to you. 

“About time.” You sigh, another weight you didn’t realize you were holding lifted off your shoulders. “Less for me to deal with now.” 

“You’re not upset?” Mingyu looks at you out of the corner of his eye. 

“No,” You sit up straighter and begin picking at the hem of your jacket. “My father was a drunk with thousands of dollars of debt he owed the bank so I’m not even surprised they sold it to make back what they lost and then some I’m sure.” 

“At least an actual family bought it instead of some corporation.” Mingyu tried to lighten the mood. “They just moved in and they have a newborn and a cute dog that I think you’d like.” 

“What kind of dog is it?” You side eye Mingyu, appreciative of the fact he moved on from the sensitive topic so quickly. 

“A corgi, they said it’s a black tricolor… Whatever that means.”

“It’s the fur color, it’s mainly black with a little bit of brown and white?”

“Yes! See this is why you went to college, you’re smart as hell.” You shake your head with a smile on your face. 

“You’re smart too, Gyu, and not going to college doesn’t affect that.” He shrugs as he slows his speed down after approaching the edge of town. 

“If you say so cherry pop.” Just as he pulled up to the first stoplight the roar of a loud engine could be heard from a distance. 

“I bet that’s Cheol.” You look at Mingyu confused before your question gets lost once you see the helmet less Seungcheol sped by on a motorcycle you had never seen before, his once dark hair was bleached blonde.

“That’s Cheol?” You asked as you watched him disappear down the opposite street you and Mingyu turned down. 

“Yeah, he changed quite a bit since you left.” That was an understatement as Seungcheol looked as big as Mingyu, maybe bigger if you dared to think.

“I can see that, can’t believe he bleached his hair.” 

“He did that pretty recently actually, said he needed a change and decided the worst that could happen is his hair would fall out.” 

“He’d look good with a buzz cut.” Mingyu laughs at the thought causing you to laugh too. 

“You should tell him that tonight when we hang out, I guarantee he’ll either blow a gasket or take you seriously and actually cut his hair off.” 

“He would drown me in the river first before he’d listen to me.” 

“I don’t know cherry pop, you were very influential to him for a long time. Remember how he did your bidding all throughout elementary school?” 

“Yeah cause I tossed him off the merry-go-round at recess and he decided he was scared of me until junior high.” 

“I think we were all scared of you after that,” Mingyu puts the car in park after pulling up to the diner. “The older kids wouldn’t mess with me either because you scared them too.” The fact Mingyu is younger than you by two years makes you question reality as he’s much bigger then you now and has been since junior high. 

“Still wild to think about.” You laugh as Mingyu hops out the truck to run over and open the door for you, he’s never allowed you to open your own door since he started driving. 

“Oh, I guess Cheol’s mom is working today.” Mingyu closes the door behind you and puts the key in the handle to lock it as he stares at the familiar woman through the window that was taking someone’s order. “Someone must’ve called out of work today.” 

The two of you walk to the front door together, making small talk about anything and everything. Seungcheol’s mother greeted the two of you with a smile and handed you two menus once you sat down. 

“It’s good to see you sweetheart.” She smiles widely at you, she was always like a second mother to you growing up especially after you mothers untimely passing. 

“It’s good to see you too, you look great.” You smile warmly, despite any animosity you might feel for her son right now you will never be able to hate this woman. 

“I’ll start you two off with some water?” You both nod, prompting her to walk away. 

“So how’s the ranch?” You scan the menu, already knowing what you want but wanting to check to see if anything new was added. 

“It’s good, Cheol doesn’t work there anymore.” Mingyu doesn’t look up from his menu to see your surprised expression. “Mr. Johnson offered him a job as a mechanic after seeing the work he would do on the farm equipment.” 

“Mechanics suit him.” You smile at his mother when she comes back with your waters. 

“Do you two know what you want?” You both nod, letting Mingyu order first despite the look he gave you after you shrug and take a big gulp of your water. “Are you getting your usual sweetheart?” She turns to you.

“How do you remember what I used to order?” Your eyes widen.

“You’d order the same thing almost every time you’d come here since you were a kid and I’ve been working here longer than you’ve been alive so I have it practically engraved into my memory.” She laughs quietly as she takes your menus. “You and my son are the same in your consistency in ordering the same thing.” 

“Oh.” You could feel your face heating up at the thought. You’re happy she didn’t bother to push a conversation as she went to help more people that came in. 

“You and Cheol are as opposite as opposite can be.” 

“You don’t say.” You roll your eyes playfully. 

The banter between you and Mingyu continued on, even after your food came you both found something to poke — and trust me there was a lot to poke at that has happened over the past three years that couldn’t be conveyed over letters and the occasional call here and there. 

“We should head out now, get you to the ranch so you can clean up and rest before tonight.” Mingyu paid for your guy's food like the gentleman he is and held the door open for you as you walked out into the warm summer air. 

“Am I obligated to go swimming tonight?” Mingyu shakes his head. 

“You’re not but we’ll all be swimming so,” He hops into the truck after opening the door for you. “Just to be safe you might wanna wear your swimsuit.” 

“Got it.” You nod your head before watching out the window again, committing your old hometown to memory again. The drive to the ranch was peaceful and long, sitting a few miles out of town on the opposite side of where the diner was. 

Once you got to Mingyu's house and greeted his family and caught up, you went to the spare room upstairs to unload your bags and lay on the bed to unwind. A quick nap was sure to help the oncoming headache you got so after changing your clothes to be a little more comfortable you crawl under the freshly cleaned blanket and almost instantly knock out. 

A couple hours pass by before Mingyu is knocking on the door to wake you up, telling you the guys are heading to the river now and that you two need to get going soon.

Groaning quietly as you sit up in bed and stretch, it felt nice to not have to worry about anything as this is the first summer you decided to not take summer classes as you'd be graduating early after this upcoming fall semester. Getting up and taking your walkman out of your bag again you took out the nirvana cassette and put in green day instead, the music more uplifting and giving you an ounce of energy to put your swimsuit on and a pair of shorts and jacket to cover yourself. 

“How was your nap dear?” Mingyu's mother greeted you as you walked down the stairs, your friend standing by the door waiting (im)patiently for you. 

“Amazing, sitting all day in those train seats takes a toll on your back.” You take your walkman headphones off and half hazardously shove them into your jacket pocket. 

“Tell me about it, I can’t sit for too long now without going stiff.” She smiles warmly as she wishes you two well as you b-line to the door after Mingyu told you to hurry up. 

 “Couldn’t even give me time to say bye.” You grumble as you shuffle up to the truck where Mingyu was holding the door for you. 

“Sorry cherry pop, the guys are waiting for us and we still gotta get drinks.” 

“Why are we getting the drinks?” You buckle up and put your headphones back on, both of your tastes in music are dramatically different as he puts in a country cassette into the radio. 

“You’re home, they want you to get what you want instead of drinking what they like.” 

“They still drink that shitty dollar beer right?” Mingyu nods. “Then we drink the same thing, not much has changed as I still couldn’t afford the expensive stuff being at college.” 

“Great, that makes this run cheap.” The ride to the corner store was quick, the street lights lining the road leading from the ranch to town making the trees look ominous. 

Once you guys had secured the alcohol you made your way to the river. The long body of water stretched for miles outside of town in both directions, and the one spot you guys have always met up at since junior high was hidden away. You had thick bushes to climb through and poison ivy to look out for as it wasn’t a regular site on the river to be at. 

“Mingyu! Y/N!” Jeonghan called happily when he saw the two of you emerge from the bushes. The bonfire was already large and roaring while Cheol and Wonwoo were already in the water swimming. 

“Hannie!” You smile and hug him happily, he was always the least affectionate person so when he offered you a hug you always took it. 

“How have you been? It’s been years!” He pulls away from the hug to greet Mingyu while sitting down in his chair and pats the one next to him that looked to have been occupied by Seungcheol at one point based on the jacket hanging on it. 

“I’ve been good, college has been tough but I'm graduating a semester early.” You smile at Mingyu who hands you a beer before he sets the box down and makes quick work to strip down to his swim trunks so he can join the other two in the water. “How have you been?” 

“I’ve been great, graduating a semester later than I should've, but I took a light load last semester because I was back and forth to be here for Cheol while his mom was in the hospital.” you nod your head while taking a drink of your beer. You never realized that his mom being in the hospital was that bad. 

“Mingyu didn’t tell me much about her being in the hospital so I didn’t realize it was that bad.” You look out at the three guys who are currently climbing the rock in the middle of the river so they can jump into the water.

“He wanted to write to you, ever since you left it’s all he had been beside himself about but when his mother got sick he wanted to write to you even more.” Jeonghans voice was soft, nervous that the said male would hear your two's conversation and start hounding him for spilling the secret. 

“I wanted to write him too, but-“

“But you couldn’t, I’m not as hard headed as Seungcheol so I get why but I don’t get why you couldn’t have let him down sooner.” You sigh, this was a conversation you knew you’d have eventually as Jeonghan was Seungcheols best friend outside of you and he was the only one that knew about you two. 

“I wanted to, believe me it was never my plan to break things off the day I was leaving but I was selfish and didn’t want to let him go yet.”

“You are selfish,” You laugh quietly, thanking him. “But he’s selfish too, this town holds too many bad memories for you and he wanted to tie you to it when you finally had the chance to escape it.”

“You know, I asked him to come with me.” You took another sip of your beer, your eyes back on the blonde who seemed to feel you staring as he tilted his head back and gave you a bitter smirk. “When I first got the acceptance letter and I was on the fence about going, he wanted me to go but he also wanted me to stay and so I told him to come with me so I didn’t have to choose.”

“He never told me that.” Jeonghan opens up another beer and gingerly takes a sip of it. 

“I’m not surprised, I think he thought it was a joke.” You finally tear your eyes off of Seungcheol to look at Jeonghan. “After that I didn’t tell him I committed and just continued to relish our time together.”

“Y’know, he wanted you to go because this was your dream but he wanted to be a part of that dream and you keeping that from him and then cutting ties with him when you left is what broke him.” 

“I didn’t mean to.” You mumbled and looked down at your half empty beer can. “He was the one that told me that if I wasn’t willing to make things work then he didn’t want to hear from me.”

“Well he’s dumb,” Jeonghan takes another sip. “But so are you.”

“I know.” You close your eyes and sigh, letting your head lull back on the chair. 

“Are you going to talk to him while you’re home? It is the first time you’ve been home since leaving after all.” 

“This isn’t my home anymore.” You don’t bother to open your eyes as you take in the warm night air. This hasn’t been your home since you left and it hasn’t felt like home for far longer, the only thing (or person) that made you feel remotely anchored here was Seungcheol. 

“It was your home at one point, and I'd argue it still is because Seungcheol and the rest of us are here.” 

“Corny loser.” You mumble, a small smile cracking at your lips before you sit up straight. “I’ll talk to him, I promise. I had been prepping myself all week to mend things between us while I was here.” 

“Good.” Jeonghan smiles and downs the rest of his beer. “Now hurry up and finish drinking so we can go join them in the water before it gets colder.” 

“You’re going to die in that water, it’s too cold for you already.” You laugh before downing the rest of your beer so you can strip down to your swimsuit, making sure not to toss your walkman around too much. 

“I’ll manage.” He shrugs after taking his clothes off too before walking cautiously up to the edge of the water. He barely touches it with his big toe and he curses. 

“Told you,” You stand beside him and watch his reaction. “You just gotta go in as quick as you can.” You show him how it’s done as you take a deep breath in and hold it as you quickly walk into the water before you’re deep enough to dive under. 

“Show off.” He huffs before he follows in your footsteps, cursing the whole way up to his shoulders. 

“You did it han,” Wonwoo pats him on the shoulder. “You’re shivering already.” 

“It’s fucking cold and you’re all insane.” He huffs and starts to swim around a little, letting the cold water soothe his warm skin. 

“I think it feels good.” You had popped back up next to Mingyu who was standing with Seungcheol who was watching Jeonghan worried. 

“It does feel good.” Mingyu lets the water support his body as he starts to swim backwards, no longer being a wall between you and the ire of your freshman year of college. 

“It’s good to see you Y/N.” Wonwoo gives you a small smile before he also swims away, leaving you and Seungcheol alone and seeing the look on Jeonghan's face in the distance makes you believe that this was planned. He clears his throat when he seems to realize you two are alone.

“Um,” Is all he manages to say before you’re taking a deep breath and turning to look at him. 

“Hi Seungcheol.” He flinches at the use of his full name.

“Ouch, hi litt-“ He catches himself using the old nickname he had for you. “Hi Y/N.”

“God I hate this.” You can’t be bothered to hide the fact that the whole situation makes you sad and angry already, you missed him and he was right there in front of you and you were both acting like you wanted nothing to do with each other, which might’ve been true right after you had left but as time went on it faded into longing and anger at oneself.

“You hate this? How do you think I feel?” He crosses his arms and looks down at you. 

“Cheol I-“

“I don’t want to hear excuses.”

“Ok asshole I was going to apologize but not anymore.” You roll your eyes and turn away from him so you could swim away, the conversation you had with Jeonghan felt like complete bullshit now. 

“Wait,” he grabbed your arm to spin you back around, the water splashing violently at the fast movement. “I’m sorry, for everything.” It was rare that he’d ever apologize and right now it felt out of place as he had no reason to apologize at the moment. 

“I practiced how this conversation would go for weeks and this was not one of the ways I accounted for. You weren’t supposed to apologize first.” You look up at Seungcheol who was just staring at you silently now, his hand still holding tightly on your arm. “Seungcheol I-“

“Stop calling me that.”

“Stop interrupting,” You huff, the smallest smile forming on his face “I’m sorry for how I left things and for everything leading up to when I left.” 

“Y’know, I spent most of the first year you were gone blaming you, and then I started blaming myself until my mother made me realize that neither of us were to blame and then I spent the remainder of the time just numb.”

“If you stopped blaming me, how come you didn’t write to me?”

“You never wrote to me.” He sounded hurt and you were hurt too but you hated the pain in his voice and it caused you to move closer to him, hoping you could erase even just a hint of it.

“I’m sorry, there was never a time where I didn’t think about writing to you but your words kept playing in my head about how you never wanted to hear from me if I left our relationship behind.”

“It wasn’t much of a relationship then was it, we were just friends exploring each other,” That’s what you liked to tell eachother when you were in denial about your feelings. “I wrote letters, most of them are stamped and sitting in my desk drawer because I couldn’t bring myself to send them.”

“Yet you bought stamps for them?” You raise an eyebrow curiously. 

“Yes,” He huffs, trying to hide the ounce of embarrassment he’s feeling. “I’d get these bouts of feelings where I’d want to send them and I’d get all the way to the post office with a stamp on the envelope and the second I’d park I’d back out and go back home only to hide it away with the others.” 

“Cheol…” 

“I know it’s probably stupid and I’ll just burn them all now since you’re home and-“

“I’m not staying,” You cut him off for some reason. “I mean I’m staying for the summer but I’m going back home to finish my last semester of college so I can get a job at a vet clinic there.” 

“That’s ok, this time I promise I will write.”

“You should come with me.” You blurt out like you did all those years ago.

“I can’t leave my mother, she won’t leave this town and with her health fluctuating I just can’t.” He gave you an actual answer this time unlike he did when you were younger. 

“I get it, she needs you.. But one day you have to leave this place, don’t you think?” Your hand gently touches his arm as you drift even closer to him. 

“I never thought of leaving until you left.” He mumbled as his hands moved to ghost over your sides that were under the water. 

“One day?” You sounded hopeful. “Even if we’re old and married to other people do you think you’d still leave?” 

“I..” His voice trailed off as your breath got closer to his face. “I’d never marry… unless it was you.” He whispered before he finally kissed you, the weight of what he said disappearing as you both got lost in the taste of each other. After what felt like an eternity you finally pulled away out of breath, a quiet whistle could be heard from behind Seungcheol somewhere and you assumed it had to be Jeonghan since Mingyu would’ve quite literally jumped the two of you. 

“Cheol- '' He cuts you off.

“Let's enjoy the night, yeah?” He didn’t want to talk about what he just said, or what the future would hold anymore. It’ll take time, you both realized, for things to go back to normal but for now you were content with how things were because this time he knew what to expect when summer ends, he just hoped that you’d change your mind about long distance relationships. And you hoped he’d change his mind about rotting away in this small town.

feedback + reblogs greatly appreciated! let me know what you guys thought!

[welcometoteyvat]

trailer thoughts

FURINA!!!! shes still not a fave (yet) but holy shit WHAT IS THE DEAL!! "the penalty is a death sentence" what do you mean. what do you mean!!!!!!

the version art with like 4 of her is SO GOOD. so good. amazing incredible showstopping. like look at this!!!!! the symbolism?? superb

also furina's alt outfit (the black version of her suit) is SO FUN!! I like the dark colors it's refreshing and has some nice contrast :3

thank you for bringing navia back I miss my golden buttercup (but she sounds like she's going through it this vers.. :'))

NEW REGION !?!?!?!?!? the golden tree and ethereal scenery holy shit im going there immediately. it looks more ancient/antediluvian than anything fontaine has shown so far (aka mostly 19th century inspirations). im so hyped I love ancient ethereal trees (shoutout to tree of barsom, harvisptokhm, mt. kanna's giant tree on tsurumi, nantianmen's tree etc)

furina and charlotte's themes!! bangers

Also. can we talk about furina's little sea creatures being called salon solitaire, aka lonely hearts salon??? LONELY HEARTS? :''') screaming.

skirk? my reaction: watching everyone else's reactions with a bowl of popcorn next to me (but seriously. wow thats a lot of hate)

i understand that everyone is disappointed, she's too honkai, jingliu copy, design doesn't translate the abyss warrior vibes, blah blah blah but goddamn i dont think people have gone so insane (negative) over a character

FREMINET EVENT ALERT!! my small guy........ the penguins look so cute 🥺🥺 his fairytale mechanical penguin wah

suspicious lack of arlecchino in the trailer unless I missed something?? but if they really just Left Her Out of the trailer like that... something's up

Was watching the chinese livestream so idk if these apply to the english. However omg furina's little bit at the front so cute JSDDJSKF her inner monologue is so funny

also Neuvillette's CN voice actor?? Hilarious actually?? his banter and jokes were so fun i had a seizure when he said 'byebye' but in like. the most Voice ever

[musings-of-a-rose]

I Hate That I Like You - Part 1

Pairing: Dieter Bravo x f!reader

Word Count: 4700+

Rating: M for mature - 18+ only! NSFW

Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story.

Notes: We’ve only got a teaser trailer, a promo pic, and a behind the scenes in character video, but I couldn’t resist writing this! So please note this came out before the movie and so I’m making wild assumptions. Also this will be a 2 part series because apparently I don’t know how to do short stories so much.

I’m also posting this as a thank you for 300 followers! I am BEYOND humbled and can’t believe 300 of you have chosen to hit the follow button. It truly means the world to me!

Shoutout to @astoryisaloveaffair and @icanbeyourjedi for bouncing ideas with me!

**Reader is ethnicity inclusive despite stock photo bias

**If you want to be added to the taglist, join here or let me know!

“This will look good on my resume, this will look good on my resume..” you chant to yourself while also cursing at the fact you agreed to sign on to this movie.

A movie being filmed inside a damn bubble, thanks to world situations being what they are.

“We would like to make you an offer to work on Cliff Beasts 6.” Your manager reads off to you, indicating the salary. “Wow, they upped the hourly rate. They must be desperate.”

“Hey!” you smiled at your manager who smiled back. You two had been friends since childhood and worked together well. You had been working as a hair stylist in Hollywood for a while now, quickly working your way through various sets and earning yourself a reputation in the field for being creative, efficient, and quick - plus the talent loved you.

“There’s a catch.”

You sigh. “Of course. What is it?”

“With all the new protocols, you’ll have to quarantine for 14 days before you can work.”

“That’s fine by me. I have some reading to catch up on.”

“AND you’ll be secluded, in a bubble of sorts, when on set.”

You pause. “What does that mean?”

“It means, once you’re through quarantine, there’ll be no leaving the set for anything until the shoot is over.”

“So I’ll be stuck there with everyone?”

“Yup. And there’s more.”

“What else could they possibly want?”

“You’re going to be fully assigned to an actor. That means all their hair, on set, off set, during shooting, etc.”

“So sort of like a key hairstylist specifically for an actor.”

“Yeah.”

“Ok that’s not terrible. Who do they want me for?”

She hesitates a moment, looking back down at her list. “Dieter Bravo.”

You think for a moment, pinching your thumb and forefinger to the bridge of your nose.. “How much does it pay again?”

—

Quarantine wasn’t too bad. 14 days alone in a hotel room with food being delivered to you. You managed to get through a couple books and binge watch a few shows and movies during this time while coming up with some alternate hair ideas to present to the key hairstylist that’s leading everyone, just in case something ends up not working. Or the actor loses his shit.

You put the last few things in place in your trailer where you’re going to be doing Dieter’s hair (his makeup team will also share with you). Begrudgingly you admit to yourself that you were slightly curious to see if the rumors about Dieter were true, that he was often late, paid little to no attention to his staff (unless they were hot or fawning over him of course), and was, generally, a cocky, entitled, asshole. You had no high hopes but purely because you knew you’d be spending a few months working directly with him, you hoped the rumors were at least a little harsh.

They weren’t.

The first day he was to show up for a trial run of hair and makeup, he was over 2 hours late. He flung open the door to the trailer, not lifting his eyes from the phone in his hand, and shuffle strutted over to the chair, sitting down and crossing his legs. He said nothing to you nor either of the other makeup girls who were there, confirming the truth to the rumors. The three of you glanced at each other before getting up to work, making sure your masks were secure, but apparently weren’t moving fast enough because Dieter’s hand shot in your direction and he snapped a few times, the universal signal for “hurry the fuck up”.

This guy here.

The three of you made it work, now having to move quicker because of his tardiness, occasionally tripping over each other. You were supposed to have your time after they were done to avoid situations like this, but you managed still. Once you were all finished, Dieter annoyingly drug his eyes away from his phone to glance in the mirror, shrugging his shoulders as he stood up and shuffled out, not even waving bye.

“What an asshole,” one of the makeup girls said. Laughing, you all swapped insults as you cleaned up and gathered your on site supplies, rushing out the door to make it to the rehearsal.

—----

Things did not improve much from there.

Dieter arrived more or less on time after that, no doubt after being reprimanded by someone way above your pay grade. You’re not sure if this was actually more annoying because it meant having to spend more time in his presence, which only agitated you more. He would either stare at his phone, completely absorbed in his social media, laughing, scoffing, or making passing comments to himself, outloud. Or he would nap, head lolling to the side which made your job, and that of the makeup girls, much more difficult. Waking him wasn’t an option - he was either a deep sleeper or really good at ignoring you.

The pay was great, sure, but the one thing you were clinging to is how good this will look on your resume. Working on one of 2 movies that were actually shooting during these times will definitely boost your credibility. You were already doing fairly well with your reputation, but this would boost you up to the next level. You may be able to book key hair stylist gigs after this one.

Bubble restrictions still required you to wear masks or face shields, sometimes both, nearly always, especially around the actors and the crew deemed “most important” (directors, producer, etc). While you stood around waiting to adjust Dieter’s hair on set, you wondered what everyone looked like without a mask. Then you’d be brought back to reality when you heard that awful voice Dieter spoke in while in character. It was so ridiculous and over the top, which makes sense for the movie, you supposed.

—----

Several weeks after arriving on set, you got restless in your room. It was late and there wasn’t a night shoot so you decided to risk a walk down to the kitchen to get something to eat and to get a change of scenery. You put on your mask and quietly walked down to the kitchen, which wasn’t far from where everyone was staying.

It was completely empty.

Grateful for the lack of people, you quickly made yourself a sandwich and grabbed a drink, heading back out front of the kitchen and sitting at one of the tables crammed against a wall. There were a few tables scattered around, at least 6ft from anything of course. Setting your plate down, you shift the chair to face out at the area in front of you and sit, taking off your mask and setting it on a napkin on the table.

A few minutes later, one of the new food assistants comes crashing into view, storming up to the kitchen muttering to herself. She emerges a few minutes later, seemingly with the same sandwich on her plate as she stomps back off across the courtyard. She repeats this process once more, even more agitated than before. When she comes back a third time, you set the last bit of your sandwich down and watch her as she comes out of the kitchen.

“...can’t make a sandwich - MAKE YOUR OWN DAMN SANDWICH THEN, DIETER!” She’s speaking in loud mumbles to herself, not even realizing you’re there. She stomps off in the opposite direction, and you smirk to yourself. Good for her.

About 10 minutes later, you look up from the book you had brought to see Dieter Bravo himself walking towards the kitchen. He looks annoyed at being put out, the audacity of him having to walk to the kitchen himself to find the girl to demand his sandwich. He flings the door open, green corduroy robe flowing behind him and disappears inside, coming out a few seconds later after seeing she wasn’t there. He stops just outside the kitchen, looking around the courtyard.

Sighing, you say “She left.”

Dieter jumps, turning in your direction, a look of surprise on his face as he only just realized you were there.

“She left? Where did she go?”

“I don’t know. Mumbled something about “make your own sandwich””. Why the hell is he wearing sunglasses inside? At night?

Dieter glances around again, his hands on his hips. “Well that’s great.”

You hoped he would leave then, let you sit here in peace and finish your sandwich and read, but you weren’t that lucky. His eyes land back on you and he shifts his sunglasses down his nose a bit, visibly checking you out over the tops of his frames. You roll your eyes and look back down at your book, hoping he would get the hint.

He didn’t.

Dieter struts over to you, taking off his sunglasses and hooking them to the collar of his shirt. He pulls out the chair across from you and sits down, leaning to one side as he cocks his head, scanning you up and down.

Ugh.

“You know, I’m one of the main actors in this film.”

“Yeah, I’m aware.”

He smiles. “Oh, did you recognize me?”

“You could say that.”

He smirks again, meeting your eyes with a ton of confidence, as if no one has ever turned him down. “Where did you recognize me from?”

“From your makeup chair. I do your hair.”

His eyebrows furrow together. “No you don’t.”

“I do.”

“Since when?”

“Since the beginning of the shoot 6 weeks ago.”

Rallying, he replies “I think I would remember a face as pretty as yours.” He waggles his eyebrows, seemingly unphased by the fact that he’s seen you for hours at a time, every day for weeks and doesn’t recognize you.

You stand, gathering up your things and you see his smile falter. Good.

“You probably would, if you ever looked up long enough to say hi.”

You walk past him without giving him a chance to answer.

—----

The next morning, you walk to your trailer, intending to set a few things up before the makeup girls come in. To your surprise, Dieter is sitting in the chair, no one else around. He’s scrolling on his phone and looks up when you open the door, a smile stretching across his face as he turns off the screen and shoves his phone in his pocket.

“Are you the hair girl?”

You sigh, stepping in and closing the door behind you. “I am.”

He’s got one leg propped up on the counter in front of him, the top 2, no 4 buttons on his shirt are open and he’s running his hand along his shoulder inside the shirt.

“Is there something I can help you with, Mr. Bravo?”

He lets out a raspberry. “Please, call me Dieter.”

“Is there anything I can do for you, Mr. Bravo?”

His eyes move up and down your body again, landing back on your face. “You can take your mask off for me, so I can see that beautiful face of yours.”

Rolling your eyes, you ignore this comment and move about the trailer, setting up what you needed. You feel his eyes on you the entire time and you find yourself growing more agitated by his presence with each passing minute.

You stand next to him, shuffling things around in the drawer in front of you. Glancing up in the mirror, you see his gaze shift from your ass to your eyes, smirking when you glance away quickly.

“So…are you a fan of my work?” he asks.

“Some of your earlier movies were great.” You answer in a bored tone, continuing to organize what you need.

“Liked what you saw, eh sugar lips?” You know he is smirking even without looking at him.

Pulling out the traveling case you brought with you on set and ignoring the nickname, you answer him in a distracted tone. “Yeah in your younger days you weren’t half bad to look at.”

He gets quiet for a moment and you replay what you said in your mind, realizing you may have bruised his ego. Good. But you weren’t a complete asshole so you look up at him, an apology forming on your lips until you see his face.

He’s staring at you, his eyes glazed over with something…lust? A cocky smile on his face as he pulls his arm out of his shirt and settles further into the chair.

“You think I’m attractive?”

Shit. That’s not what you had meant.

“In that film..what was it… Spanish Nights?” you pretend to think, even pausing in your work to add to the effect. “You were alright. That was a while ago though.”

You resume your task but notice that the smile on his face falls slightly. Despite how much you don’t like him, you feel a little bad about what you said. But before you can say anything, the makeup team enters and it’s time to start your day.

—----

It’s annoying now that he sees you. You didn’t realize how much you actually liked him ignoring you until now. In between takes, if he’s not running lines, he’s talking to you, telling you stories about his past projects, crazy stories about ex girlfriends, anything he can think of.

“You hear the accent I’m using? I came up with that! They heard me and insisted I use it for the film! What do you think, sugar lips ?” His eyes were big and round, brown orbs looking at you hopefully, as you continued to adjust his hair on set between takes.

You’re about to answer when you see his eyes shift behind you briefly and you chance a glance, disguising it as a stretch. A woman walks past, her hips swaying as she walks, tossing her perfect hair over her shoulder, revealing her perfect cleavage. You roll your eyes and look back at Dieter, hating him a little more now.

“Not a fan.”

—----

A few weeks of this goes by, Dieter debating with himself on whether he should continue to pursue you or act cool and aloof. It’s clear that the “charming hot famous actor” bit has always worked for him before and here you were, unaffected by that charm.

One morning you walked into the trailer, Dieter already sitting and waiting for you, as per his new normal routine. The makeup girls came in, did what they needed to do and left you with him. He continues telling you stories about himself as you work, smiling and winking at you every time he could catch your eye in the mirror. When you were finished, he turned towards you and took your hand, which surprised you. Dieter wasn’t typically physical with anyone on set unless it was behind closed doors, so-to-speak.

“Why don’t you take your mask off for me? I want to see that beautiful face again. It’s all I can think about since that night with the sandwich.”

You lean down to get eye level with him and he smiles wider, shifting in his seat to meet you head on.

“What’s my name?” you ask him.

His eyes widen for a moment and it’s like you can see the wheels spinning in his brain, desperately trying to remember if you’ve ever told him your name.

“That’s why.” You pull your hand from his grip, grab your case, and head out the door, heading to the first set of the day.

—----

He hadn’t spoken to you the rest of the day, but to be fair he hadn’t really had a chance. There were a ton of reshoots and new lines to work, these scenes being heavier on the action than others.

After the final “CUT!” of the day, which had turned into evening, you head back to the trailer, the makeup girls tossing their case inside and heading out to get food by the kitchens.

“I’ll be there in a bit. Just need to clean out my case - that hairspray leaked everywhere.”

Taking everything out of your case, you carefully wipe down each item, tossing the combs and brushes into your jar of cleaner. You wipe down the case, spraying into every corner and cursing out the manufacturers of the bottle. It was apparently not meant to do anything other than sit on a shelf and what good is that? Sliding the open case over to the corner to let it air dry overnight, you hear the trailer door open and close behind you.

“Was dinner a bomb- oh.” It wasn’t the makeup girls. It was Dieter.

“Sorry. Thought you were the girls. The makeup girls.” you clarify for him.

“Nope. Just me.” He flashes that cocky smile at you and you just want to reach out and slap it off his face.

“What do you want, Mr. Bravo?” you sigh, exasperatedly.

“I told you to call me Dieter.”

“I’m not doing that.”

“I insist.”

“I don’t have to do everything you tell me to.”

He puts his hands up. “Hey, hey. I came in here to try and make peace and all you do is start shit.”

You scoff. “I start shit? Mr. I-can-only-talk-about-myself-and-give-2-craps-about-anything-else?”

“You’re not a nice person.” He takes a step towards you.

Your jaw drops open, offended as you are a nice person to nearly everyone else in the world. He just makes being nice to him so difficult.“Yeah? Well you’re extremely entitled, self absorbed, and a jerk. And you have a stupid earring.”

He gasps and it nearly makes you laugh. “How dare you insult the earring!”

You step towards him. “I shouldn’t. It definitely fits your aesthetic.”

Dieter steps closer to you. “Yeah? And what is my aesthetic?”

“Pompous asshole.” A small step towards him, just a couple feet from him.

“Yeah? Well yours is angry bitch.”

Something inside you snaps and you slap him across the face, the sound echoing off the walls of the small trailer. His face turns to the side with the force and he rights himself, his gaze boring into you as his expression changes.

You grip his shirt and pull him to you just as he closes the space between you, your lips crashing against each other. He immediately deepens the kiss and you let him, feeling his tongue massage yours and you hate to admit it but he’s actually good at this. You bite his lip as you pull back, reaching up to grab those damn sunglasses from his face, throwing them on the counter behind you.

“I hate you.”

“I hate you too.”

You launch yourself at him and he falls back, laughing as he lands. His laugh is cut off as you quickly straddle him, working to open the 2 buttons that were actually closed on his damn shirt. But the buttons wouldn’t come open so you grip his shirt and pull, the 2 buttons popping off and flying across the trailer in opposite directions.

“Hey that’s my shirt!”

“Oh shut up you barely use buttons anway.”

“You’re such a bitch,” Dieter exclaims as he starts tugging at the hem of your shirt.

“You’re an asshole,” you respond, ripping your shirt up and over your head, tossing it across the trailer and reaching for the clasp on your bra. You undo that and chuck it, feeling Dieter's hands grab your breasts and start massaging them. Giving into the feeling for just a moment, you grab his wrists and pull them from you, pushing them down on either side of his head.

“No touching.”

His eyes are wide, lust blown and angry, but he listens, growling into the kiss you give him as you bite his lip, pressing your chest against his bare skin. Grinding your hips, you swallow the moans that come from him.

“I hate that you’re soft,” he groans into your mouth.

Standing, you undo your pants, sliding them down and off along with your underwear, but before you can straddle him again, Dieter sits up, grabbing the backs of your thighs and rubbing them while he stares at your core, his rings cold against the heat of your skin.

“I hate that I want to touch you, bury my face into you,” he says as he moves closer to your apex.

“I hate that you’re still talking.”

Pushing him back down, you straddle him again and move your hands to his pants, fumbling with the tie as you try to undo it. Why does he wear these awful pants??

To your surprise, he grabs your upper arms and pulls you to him, staring into your eyes briefly before he kisses you, winding his tongue through your mouth. You lean into it, temporarily losing yourself in the kiss. Why does he have to be good at this? There’s a moment, something that passes between you both, but before you have time to dwell on it, he pushes you up.

“I hate you.”

“I hate you more.”

Your hands find the tie on his pants and finally undo it, and Dieter tries to help you shove his pants down, both of you breathing heavily into the small space. But you keep bumping into each other so you swat his hand away.

“Stop. Let me do it.” You demand.

“I know how to undo my own pants.”

“Fuck you’re insufferable. Just let me.”

“No, I can-ngghhh.” You cut him off, having reached into his pants and pulled him out.

And honestly, you need a moment because this was not what you were expecting.

He’s big, long and thick, a lovely color and already hard, leaking a little. You feel your jaw dropping slightly but then you catch sight of his face, a bright smirk lighting him up as he sees you take him in. You clamp your jaw shut.

“Like what you see, sugar lips?”

You take him in hand, squeezing a little harder than you normally would, just to see him grunt. He tries to grab at your hands but you drop him, grabbing his wrists again and pinning them to the floor on the sides of his head.

“Just shut the fuck up,” You drop one of his wrists, moving your hand back down to hold him as you line yourself up, slowly lowering yourself onto him. Gripping his bicep, you squeeze it, unable to prevent the moan from escaping your lips as you feel him inch into you, feeling every ridge and being as he stretches you, lighting up your body with desire.

“Fuck!” Dieter grunts. “You’re so tight.”

Lifting yourself, you pull almost all the way off of him before you drop your hips down and cry out as Dieter pokes at a spot at the very back of you. Then you see that damn smirk again and you roll your eyes. Moving your hips, you start to grind down on him, feeling him touch nearly every part of you.

“I really..hate..that smirk,” you pant out.

“You’re such a..bitch.” Dieter responds, panting out between words as you start to fuck him into the floor.

The hand you’re not pinning down shoots out to your hip, gripping you tightly, digging into your skin as he guides you, making you move harder, faster. The touch sends an electric shock through your body, lighting you up as you feel your climax build.

“Fuck!” you cry out as you come, hips sputtering as your body lights up, your breaths puffing out erratically.

You realize that Dieter still has a strong grip on your hip and is moving you, sliding you across his dick as he chases his own high. A part of you, a large part, wants to push him away and leave him here without coming. But instead you decide to do something else.

Your fingers wind around his hand on your hip as you push against him to stop your movement. His eyes fly open, blown wide open with lust and anger.

“What the fuck?” he yells out.

Taking advantage of his momentary distraction, you slam his wrist into the floor by his head and lift off of him, the tip of his just touching your entrance. His eyes are frantic now and you swear you can’t see any of the brown, as if the black of his pupils has taken over.

“You’ll come when I say you can.”

“You’re such a bitch. I hate- ngghh.” You slowly slide back down on him, taking your time inching him inside of you, loving the way he writhes under you. Once he bottoms out, you move your hips very slightly, tracing little circles as you grind down on him.

“Fuck, you’re going to kill me.” Dieter grunts out, pushing against your hand slightly as he lifts his head to look down where you’re joined. You feel his breathing start to speed up, his hips tensing, so you pull off of him, smirking down at the frustration on his face.

“I didn’t say you could come.”

“God, I hate you!”

You repeat this process a few more times, Dieter’s face growing more angry and desperate with every thrust of your hips. But then you see the tears building at the corners of his eyes, the restraint and lust finally becoming too much and you take pity on him.

Speeding up your hips, you grunt out “Come for me!”

His hips sputter as he comes instantly at your command, his little grunts and moans filling up the trailer and you have to admit, you love the sound of them, the way his brow furrows up and together, his mouth hanging open in an o shape.

He comes down and opens his eyes, watching you behind heavy lids. His hair is mussed up, his face holding a fucked out expression. He looks hot like this-

Before you can follow that thought any further, you push off of him, Dieter letting out a hiss as he slides free of you. Grabbing up your clothes, you get dressed quickly, suddenly feeling embarrassed by what just happened, but more so because you actually enjoyed it.

“Hey-”

Before he can finish the sentence, you open the door and close it behind you, heading to your room at a quick pace.

What the fuck was that? I hate him. HATE. HIM. And I just…but that was kind of hot? He’s kind of hot. WHAT THE FUCK GET IT TOGETHER! You pinch the bridge of your nose, cursing yourself for jumping on him.

Tomorrow is going to be so much fun.

—----

That night you decide to sneak out for a snack again, making another sandwich and sitting at the small table shoved up against the wall as you eat, propping your book open to read, hoping to distract your mind from the million thoughts running through it.

Hearing footsteps, you glance up and see Dieter walking towards the kitchen. Much to your annoyance, he spots you and shifts course, heading for you. You’re about to tell him to leave you be but then you take in the way he’s walking. Not strutting or shuffling, but a simple, average walk. He stands at the chair across from you and gestures to it.

“Mind if I sit?”

Shocked he even asked, you nod and gesture towards the chair. He sits and you notice the familiar green robe he wears, purple shirt and black sweatpants back on, but the sunglasses are not around. Interesting.

Dieter leans forward a little, looking at you. “Can I ask you something?”

Thinking he’s going to ask you about what happened, you swallow hard. “Sure.”

“What’s your name?”

Not what you were expecting, you hesitate a brief moment before responding. “Sugar lips.”

He smiles softly. “Not what I meant. I mean your real name.”

You consider him for a moment. He looks genuine and those big, brown eyes bore into you. You tell him your real name and he smiles.

“Such a beautiful name.”

“Thanks, I guess. Everyone usually calls me Bee, because I’m always moving.”

He smiles again and then gets up, pushing in his chair and walking towards the kitchen. He’s gone for a few minutes and then reemerges with a plate, waving to you as he heads back upstairs.

Don’t catch feelings for him. Don’t do it, Bee. Don’t do it.

Shit.

—----

Part 2 >>

General Taglist:

@frankie-catfish-morales @chaoticgeminate @janebby @astoryisaloveaffair @hotchlover-blog @balekanemohafe @softpedropascal @greeneyedblondie44 @hoeforthefictional

@marvelousmermaid @hauntedmama @giuliarogers-blog @icanbeyourjedi @diaryofkali @sunnshineeexoxo @livingmydreams13 @adventures-of-a-noodle @sara-alonso

@theewokingdead @punkerthanpascal @giggly-otter @f0rever15elf @phandoz @dirtytissuebox @jadore-andor @gallowsjoker @lovesbiggerthanpride

@sarahmilesbendrix @booksarekindaneat @mrsudontknowme @swol-bear @charlispersonallyhell @xoxabs88xox @amneris21

All One Shots/Writing Prompts/Ficlets:

@itspdameronthings @Whovianayesha @anaaaispunk @tanzthompson @thatpinkshirt @petersunderoos96 @mswarriorbabe80

[saltpepperbeard]

A Jotato’s THG Story (novel?)

So a few days ago, the lovely @everlarkedalways asked me to Weave My THG Tale™. And, in being VERY on brand in regards for my THG Story, I’m late to the party lol! Mostly because of work, partly because I was avoiding Ballad spoilers, and a tad bit because...I’m a potato. BUT, now that I am free of any large projects and finally have Ballad in my hands, I’m finally able to look past my potato roots and talk about how a certain wATER POTATO ARCHER CHANGED MY LIFE lmao.

Ara has jokes though, let me tell you. “Keep it short” l m a o; THIS IS ABOUT TO BE A NOVEL AND WE KNOW IT. ARE YOU READING BALLAD? HERE’S A NEW 500 PAGE BOOK FOR YOU TBH-

I’ve told this story a few times before, but it’s always delightful to look back on things and see all the twists and turns I’ve experienced with this franchise. The most notable being, I started out HATING Hunger Games lol!

I was in ninth grade when THG started to become like, a global phenomenon. Everyone was reading it, everyone was talking about it, and it was everywhere. And for whatever reason, instead of actually sitting down and, idk, GIVING IT A TRY LMAO, my reaction instead was to DESPISE IT. Guess it was that edgy, irate, “I’m ABOVE the general masses ha look at me,” fresh-out-of-middle-school mentality. And also, my justification for hating it so much was along the lines of, “Wow it’s just a series about kids killing each other? WHAT’S THE APPEAL???”

Which like fjlksjdksds...If I could look back on my early 2012 self?

She had no idea what was in store for her lmao.

Anyway, the premiere of the movie came and went, and I was still hard set in my ways. THAT WAS, until that same summer. I can’t exactly remember which clips I stumbled upon first? But I know I came across the Joshifer+Liz Banks interview, and also a ton of Perfectly Legal Movie Clips™ on YouTube. Both of which silently chained my soul without me realizing LMAO. I remember thinking that the main actors were so cute and played off each other well (AGAIN LMAO, GIRL, BIG STORM COMING), and also remember being totally intrigued by all the clips I watched. It was mainly clips of Katniss in the arena, and I think it made me realize that wow hey, there’s an ACTUAL STORY HERE, WITH A FEMALE PROTAGONIST NO LESS.

The story gets a tad fuzzy for me here, but I do believe I got the books and quickly read through them shortly after I essentially watched the entire movie on YouTube through clips jdksljdks. I can’t really recall what I thought about the books really? Because, I think I BREEZED through them. I was so excited that I just ZOOMED TF THROUGH. I inhaled the series in one GIANT GULP. I think I even read THG in a single day jdlsjklaads. It definitely wasn’t a cautious read through to get a better sense of the detail and literary devices. 

BUT, despite my excitement, I still hadn’t reached the God Tier “OBSESSIVE” stage yet. The light bulb hadn’t fully come on yet. It wasn’t until late 2013 when Catching Fire came out that I REALLY STARTED TO GO BALLISTIC LMAO. Actually, one of my fondest THG memories comes from this time, because I think it was really like, the OFFICIAL starting block for my obsession.

I was riding on a bus to a Theatre Competition, and my best friend had just gotten the CF Soundtrack for us to listen to. I remember being absolutely enamored with it- Mirrors, We Remain, and Lean in particular. And idk, something at that point just kind of told me that Catching Fire was going to be my anchor. Sure enough, after the competition was over, said friend and I went to go see the movie together.

And I astral projected lmao. I ACHIEVED HUNGER GAMES ENLIGHTENMENT. THE LIGHT BULB SWITCHED TF ON.

I was quick to see it again the following day, and I think saw it another two times in theaters after that. I also started drawing fanart of it, and looking for more pictures/interviews. And the want for more content, the DESIRE to go crazy about it, is what eventually lead me to finding the fandom here on Tumblr. I had had a Tumblr since 2012, but never really used it with a purpose. But when I realized there were people posting all sorts of stuff about THG? Boom- another light bulb. I followed tons of people, and officially changed my url to what it is today. “Star’s” for my internet alias at the time, and “Mahogany” for my love of Effie/that Iconic Line.

HOWEVER LOL, Tumblr would lead me towards a different side, something I didn’t expect to get pulled into so hard at all. Because, I distinctly remember coming on one night in December of 2013, and seeing @joshmopolitan and a few others posting about Josh going to the UK game. And that of course, lead me down the Celebrity Rabbit Hole, and lead me towards the Chaotic, Wonderful, Crazy-

JOSHIFER FANDOM.

((Also, before you crinkle your nose, *raises cane* BACK IN MY DAY, EVERYONE SHIPPED JOSHIFER LOL. *Snow voice* DON’T LIE. Like, everyone thought they were cute to some sort of degree, or believed they were going to get together. Shoutout to the Joshifer Golden Days, man.))

And thank goodness for it tbh. Because it was JUST when I was itching to write fanfiction with everyone else, and just when I was struggling HARDCORE with writing Everlark. @joshmopolitan and @youarebeingridiculous were sort of my introductions into RPF, with @youarebeingridiculous giving me nudges towards my first Everlark fic, before also nudging me towards my first Joshifer fic. And when my first Joshifer fic garnered attention/when I had a blast writing it? ANOTHER. LIGHT. BULB LOL.

So I was dead af from that point on. I was absolutely drawn in. Even though I was still invested in THG, Joshifer was definitely my main focus from 2014-2016ish. I was there for the typical ship wars, there to read and write all the fanfiction, there to read all the theories, and there to partake in all the crazy moments. Shoutout to Cannes 2014 in particular lmao; I was in the car and my phone started going off like CRAZY, with many of my friends SCREAMING at me about the events/articles that had transpired.

Being attached to Joshifer also allowed me to write my first, and so far only, full length, These Words are a Lie. It started out as just a four part series, two parts of which I actually published. Befffooorrre getting to the third part and realizing I had WAY too much to deal with/explain/write, which consequently lead to me pulling them down and expanding upon them! And thus my messy, lovely, 25 chapter peanut journey started lmao. Though I look back on it now and realize how disjointed it was, I’m so thankful I was able to see that story completely through. I’m also very thankful for the SUPPORT and following it got. Wouldn’t have gotten through without y’all! 

ANYWAY LMAO, because this is my THG story and not my Joshifer story, let’s get back to that. 2014 was WHACK because...LG was utterly tripping with its promotional material. And to think, it was just the START of odd/lacking promo, seeing as they were SOMEHOW WORSE WITH MJ2 LMAO. But even though I was incredibly salty at the time, it was so fun to be mad and chomping at the bit with everyone else lol. The SUFFERING OF NOT HAVING ANY NEW CONTENT BROUGHT US CLOSER TOGETHER. Also, going to Best Buy to watch the teaser trailer under Heavy Guard??? Was an EXPERIENCE LOL??? But man was I so stoked to get my poster and pin, because that was some of the first merch I got!

ALSO, MJ1 was the time where I got the idea to create a small YouTube series called “Tributes React.” I really really wish I could have been in the fandom earlier, because it would have been, dare I say, FIRE LOL to react to more than just the MJ1 and MJ2 trailers. But it was so so fun regardless, and everyone’s participation was incredible! And now all of our early, embarrassing, INTENSE fangirling is stuck here/memorialized forever PFFFF.

And, not to mention, Fran Solo himself watched one of them. Someone tweeted the video at him, and he tweeted back that it made all the hard times worth it. MY GREATEST FANDOM ACCOMPLISHMENT RIGHT THERE???

And finally getting to watch MJ1 in theaters lmao omg. I went with my friend before, and also one of my guy friends. And the entire time, he was HARD STARING AT ME WAITING FOR ME TO CRY LOL. SO HE COULD TEASE ME. AND HE GOT HIS WISH BECAUSE OF COURSE THE LAST 30 MINUTES OR SO UTTERLY RUINED ME. I remember shivering so so SO bad when the rescue mission for Peeta started, and having to hold my friends’ hands when they were creeping through the Tribute Center, and utterly SOBBING when Peeta attacked Katniss. Because...hello...I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again...WAY WAY MORE INTENSE THAN THE BOOK LMAO??

And then came the beginning of the end. I remember that promo time was even DRYER for MJ2 lmao, and that we were all DYING. Like, I think the big trailer didn’t release until like, SEPTEMBER??? WHICH...LG WHAT THE ACTUAL-

And we were also back to watching trailers in Best Buys jfkssdkdlsk. My Best Buy was also DUMB and didn’t have any posters, but @infinitegraces​ was awesome enough to send me numerous copies! Bless you, thank you; I had them on my wall all through college lol! DESPITE THEM BEING A HAUNTING REMINDER OF HOW HARD LG SMACKED US LMAO.

Despite my salt towards the INITIAL promo though, the premieres and what not definitely lead to MJ2 having a special place in my heart. I had just gone off to college, and was a timid, lonely little freshman with nowhere to turn. But the fandom was there for me, and MJ2 promos/premieres gave me something to be excited for. It all kept me going through that ROUGH first semester, and was there for me before I met my best friends. So thank you MJ2, and thank you all for sharing that excitement with me! <3

Also, I’d like to mention that I was SO desperate to continue the tradition of seeing the premiere with my friend thaaaaatttt...I left for Thanksgiving break two or three days early/skipped class JUST to make it back home in time to see it with her lol! I WASN’T HERE TO PLAY GAMES, Y’ALL. THG > ACADEMICS APPARENTLY PFFFF.

After that though, things kind of quieted down. I found friends and activities in college, the movies were done, and Joshifer was dying out. It lead me to use Tumblr sporadically, not posting AS much as I had before. I still had tons of love for everything, and still enjoyed coming on whenever I did!

Then I sort of stumbled upon our “renaissance,” like the lovely @everlarkedalways​ posting re-reads and re-watches. It tugged me in again, and made me excited to post content! I also branched out and began to write Everlark, and began talking about them/the books/meta more than I did in my earlier years. 

And of course, said renaissance lead me to attending TOASTCON LMAO. Which I somehow managed to name. On accident. *Dabs unironically*

That of course, was such an amazing experience. Going to movie filming sites has always been on my bucket list, so getting to go to HUNGER GAMES SITES??? WITH FANDOM PEOPLE???? GOD TIER??????

I was also suffering from major panic/anxiety problems that summer, having just graduated college and being thrown out in the Real World™. So once again, THG and its fandom were there for me when nothing else could be. And despite me feeling off mentally, despite me feeling plagued by fatigue, I still thoroughly enjoyed meeting everyone/having such a once in a lifetime experience. Also, getting to FLEX on my friends when we watch the movies and go like “I WAS THERE! I WAS THERE!! I WAS THERE!!!” is...A Time PFFFF.

Then of course, I started working a full time job, and shifted a bit away from Tumblr/the fandom. Not DELIBERATELY; more like, I was too Mentally Tired to really do much after work. But now that Ballad is here, and now that we have new content once more? I feel like I’m waking back up. Hell, I even went to Atlanta to see MORE film sites right before the virus started to make its rounds.

And so here I am lol! A SEASONED THG VET WITH SEVEN YEARS AND COUNTING UNDER MY BELT. I would very much love to tag everyone who had an impact on me, and/or who I’ve interacted with and shared fun times with over the years. But A. Everyone really out here CONSTANTLY CHANGING THEIR URL’s, and B. The number would be Too Great and I would inevitably forget someone on accident.

SO THEN, if you’re reading this, and we’ve ever shared some kind of THG experience together, thank you, from the bottom of my heart. THG has been such a wondrous experience for me, and it’s lead me to meet all sorts of amazing, talented individuals. It’s also been there for me during darker times, and has supported me in every way possible.

I love you all, I love being here, and HERE’S TO MANY MORE TAGS/RAMBLES IN THE FUTURE LOL! Like lmao, a new movie, you guys??? WHAT??? TRIBUTES REACT ANYONE???

-Jotato Out <3

[angelic-holland]

Dirty Shirley // th x fem!reader

request by @barnes-parker :  hey! can i request for a tom holland x reader? reader is part of the mcu cast, and they all went out to eat dinner after filming for endgame. reader just turned legal age (is it 18?) so they drank afterwards, to celebrate her legality. since it’s her first time drinking she went a bit overboard but tom took care of her. fluff pls!

Summary: Basically above ^ 

Okay so I made the reader Scott Lang’s daughter (Cassie) shoutout to the actress who played her in the movie but for the sake of the one shot the reader will be playing her :), reader is turning 21, so she’s a little bit closer to Tom’s age and that is the legal drinking age in the US where they filmed Endgame I also just recently celebrated my birthday and got way too drunk so I made it a little more fluffy than the reader just getting sick from drinking bc those memories yoinks

Warnings: drinking

Word count: 2.5k

“You know what we should do?” Paul asks.

“What?” You laugh as you, Evangeline and him had just wrapped on your small scene at the end of the movie.

“Celebrate! You turned 21 the other day! And didn’t tell us! We can all go out to dinner if you want,” Paul says as you all walk towards your trailers.

“What do you mean by all of us? Like the three of us?”

“Well Tom, Jacob, Chadwick, a few other people are here filming so we can see if they want to come with?” Paul asks, coming to a stop at his trailer.

“Oh, I mean, we don’t have to, that’s, I don’t want to bother them.”

“I’ll see who’s interested,” Paul says, entering his trailer and leaving you and Evangeline to walk towards your own.

“You know, if he was smarter he’d know you have a little crush on Tom.”

You felt yourself blush and stutter, “pssh, no,I, I hardly know him, we’ve met like three times.”

‘Yeah but he’s pretty charming isn’t he?”

“Ugh, I just, don’t want them to feel like they’re forced to come celebrate with me when they don’t know me like at all, you know?”

“But, no matter the size of your role in the movie, you’re still here, you’re still a member of the cast.” “I guess.”

“Just, let’s see what Paul can do okay?”

You nod as you come to a stop at her trailer, she hugs you and you walk the rest of the way to your trailer. You’ve only been here for a few days, just two small scenes to film, it’s been a really great experience so far though.

You decide to wear something really nice, a pretty A-line black dress, the edges adorned with lace. You fix up your hair, curl it a little, keeping the makeup they put on you for the scenes, much better than anything you could do yourself.

You hear a knock on the door as you’re getting your purse together. You open it and are greeted by Paul and Evangeline who both had changed into nice formal clothes.

“You look beautiful birthday girl,” Evangeline says, hugging you.

“Okay, so I was able to get us a spot at a really nice restaurant downtown, our reservation’s in like thirty minutes,” Paul says as you all walk out of the trailer lot towards the parking lot.

“How’d you manage that?” “Pulled a few strings,” he says with a shrug.

“Were you able to uh, invite anyone else?”

He frowns and you know you’re about to be disappointed, no matter how unreasonable it was for all these famous actors to drop everything to hang out with you on your birthday.

“I’m sorry, they’re all pretty busy, but hey, I think we’re a pretty fun bunch,” Paul says, swinging his arm around your shoulder as they reach his car.

****

Paul gives his name at the restaurant and the hostess leads you to the back of the restaurant, towards a private room.

“Wait, what’s the private room for?” You ask, turned towards Paul and Evangeline as the hostess pushes the door open.

“SURPRISE!” you hear a group of people shout and you turnaround, eyes widening as you take in the group of people sitting around the large table.

“Paul, Evangeline, I thought you said, said nobody could make it,” you stutter, blushing a little as they guide you to sit down at the head of the table.

“Yeah well, we lied.”

You shake your head, hoping you’re not blushing too hard as you look around the table, filled with people you’ve met in person before, Tom, Scarlett, Chris Evans, Don, Brie, a few people you’ve never met in person but have wanted to, Jacob, Chadwick, Mark. You were in awe of how they all showed up to your little party.

“I, uhm, thank you guys, for coming, this is uh, pretty cool,” you laugh.

“Of course, wouldn’t want to pass up the opportunity to celebrate someone’s 21st birthday,” Tom speaks up, he’s sitting on one side of you, Evangeline on the other.

“Thanks,” you smile at him, quickly looking away because you know if you look for much longer you could get lost in his smile or his eyes and you don’t want to be any more awkward than you already are.

****

You all had a fun dinner, everyone talking amongst themselves, talking to you, you telling different stories about your time on set and auditioning and joking about the Russo Brothers.

You had thanked everyone, a few of them staying back, saying they wanted to buy you a few drinks for your 21st if you wanted to, which you happily agreed to. You’ve never really drunk before, other than a few sips of your parents wine at dinner or parties. You were sitting at the bar with Tom and Jacob, Evangeline sitting a few seats down, she told you as you were all leaving the private room that she’d be there to take you back to your trailer but she’d let you spend some time with ‘those two cuties’ before you left.

“So, you said you did musical theater before, right?” Jacob asks as you wait for your drinks.

“Yeah, I was in a few shows on Broadway before auditioning for Endgame. I’ve been doing theatre all my life and I thought that acting on TV or in movies might be a fun change of pace.”

“What did you do on Broadway?” Tom asks as the bartender sets down your drinks, Tom called them ‘dirty shirleys’, explaining they were basically just Shirley Temples with vodka. He preferred beer but this was his guilty pleasure drink.

“Uh, I was in a few ensemble casts before I got cast as Wendla in Spring Awakening.”

“Wait, did you play her in 2015?”

“Yes?”

“Holy shit, I saw you, I went to see Spring Awakening then, I stood outside the cast doors like a dork and got pictures with everyone.”

“Sorry, I totally don’t remember you,” you laugh, people did that after every single show and you never remembered their faces.

“No, that’s totally fine I’m sure I was a total nerd but that was such a good show, you were amazing.”

“Thanks,” you blush, taking a sip of your drink. It was really fruity, tasted almost exactly like a Shirley Temple, a little bit of a kick which had to be the vodka.

“So how do you like acting in movies compared to acting in theatre?” Jacob asks.

“I mean, I know you guys probably love doing movies and acting in front of a camera but, gonna be honest, I like theatre more. Maybe because I like the pressure of having to do it perfectly in front of a live audience, I don’t get multiple takes and editing to make everything look perfect. In theatre, that’s on you.”

“Yeah, I mean the process can be so long though, I don’t know, I guess I’m basing it off of my experience with Billy Elliot but that was ages ago and most of it was dance training,” Tom adds.

“Yeah, I mean, the rehearsal process can be lengthy, more so for shows like that that requires a deep knowledge of dance especially ballet and aero, whereas with shows I’ve been in, there’s dancing but it’s mainly typical musical theatre dancing. We’d have rehearsal eight hours a day, every single day a week, 7 days a week for a few months, and then we’d have our show. So I guess it just depends on the show you do, if you’re touring, stuff like that.”

“Sounds like you’re very passionate about theatre.”

“Yeah, I mean I’ve been doing it since I was a little kid, can’t remember a time before I was in a singing lesson or dance class after school.”

The conversation and drinks flow throughout the night, you start to feel a little more comfortable, only getting tense when Tom’s hand touched your shoulder when you made him laugh, leaning in, full body shaking with laughter.

“We should probably head back,” Jacob pipes up and you all agree.

“Mind if we get a ride with you? Ours ditched us,” Tom asks as Evangeline stands up.

“Of course, I’ll go grab the car,” she says, nodding at you.

You stand up, stumbling almost immediately. Tom helps by holding you up, a hand against your waist, the other wrapping around your shoulder.

“That was fun,” you giggle as you all walk towards the exit.

“I think you’re a little drunk,” Jacob laughs as he opens the back door to the car for you.

“Maybe, just a little,” you say as Tom helps you into the car, leaning over you to buckle your seatbelt.

You can’t help but stare at his chest, the very top of it peeking out of his partially unbuttoned shirt. You feel yourself blush as he sits down besides you.

“You okay back there?” Evangeline asks and you nod, rubbing your eyes.

You don’t realize you’re resting your head on Tom’s shoulder until you are parked back at the lot and Evangeline is calling your name.

You sit up, your head spinning a little, “hello.”

“Hi,” Tom laughs, helping you out of the car.

“I think?”

“Yes? What do you think?” He asks as he walks you to your trailer, his hand a warm presence on your waist.

“I think I’m just a little bit drunk,” you giggle.

“I think you’re a little bit more than a little drunk,” Evangeline says, opening your door.

“It was, nice to meet you Jacob,” you say, reaching out your hand to shake his.

He laughs as you fumble for it, eventually shaking it.

Tom helps you into your trailer, sitting you down on your bed as Evangeline gets you some water.

“Wanna know a secret?” you giggle.

“Y/N,” Evangeline says, sitting next to you and you blink, looking between her and Tom.

“Yes?”

“Have some water,” she says, helping you take a few sips.

“It was nice to talk to you, get to know you,” Tom says, backing out of your trailer.

“Oh, yes, you too,” you giggle, waving at him.

“See you around,” he says, so casually as he leaves.

“Did you hear that? He’s gonna see me around.”

“Alright drunky, time to go to bed and make sure you don’t choke on your own tongue.”

You gasp and stare at Evangeline with wide eyes, “that can happen?”

“Yes,” she laughs, shaking her head, “just gotta get you a bucket, make sure you sleep on your side in case you need to throw up.”

**** You wake up the next morning with a raging headache, Evangeline nowhere in sit but a note on your bedside table.

I stayed for a while but you were sound asleep, I checked in a few times during the night but you seemed fine, glad you had a good time with the cast and Tom last night.

Your eyes widened, Tom, what did you say to him? What happened? You remember his hand on your waist, warm and comforting, his laugh, him telling you he’d see you around. You roll over, rubbing your eyes. You’re still wearing your dress from last night so you begrudgingly get up and stumble a little towards your suitcase, pulling out a random t-shirt and sleep shorts, planning on sleeping in, you weren’t going to be called again until the editors have seen the footage of your scene and determine if it was okay for the final cut.

You are situated in your clothes, about to flop back down in your bed when you hear a knock on your trailer door. Figuring it’s Evangeline checking up on you, you make your way over, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes as you fling the door open.

Your eyes widen and cheeks flush when you see who it really is. Tom, who still managed to look hot in a plain black t-shirt and sweatpants.

“Hi,” you say, staring at the bag in his hand.

“Hi, I uh, I remember the first time I got really drunk, didn’t know how to make myself feel better the next day, had the worst hangover, so I figured I’d get you some supplies, help combat it for ya.”

“Oh, uh, thanks? Come in, come in,” you say, stepping aside so he make his way inside.

“My mum taught me one of the best tricks, coconut water. It tastes gross, whatever, but it’s got tons of potassium which you lose when you drink lots of alcohol and it’s not full of preservatives and artificial stuff like sports drinks so even though you could drink those to help, it’s better to drink this,” he says, pulling out the coconut water and placing it on your counter.

“And of course, aspirin, never Tylenol, don’t know why, you just shouldn’t take it,” he says with a shrug, placing a bottle of aspirin next to the coconut water.

“Did you just have all this lying around?”

“Nah just took a quick trip to the drugstore.”

“You didn’t have to do that,” you say, rubbing your arm, confused as to why he cared so much.

“I know, just wanted to make sure you were okay,” he says, “here, take some aspirin with the coconut water,” he opens both and hands them to you.

“Thank you,” you mumble before taking the aspirin.

He laughs at your scrunched up face after you take a sip of the coconut water.

“Yeah it tastes a little weird, I like to pretend I’m on an island on vacation when I drink it, makes it taste a little better.”

You close your eyes, pretending you’re laying on a beach somewhere, a real coconut in your hand. You take another sip, it’s not as bad.

“Kinda works,” you say, placing the drink down and leaning against the counter.

“You should also get some rest, are you slotted to film today?”

“No, gotta wait for the go ahead from the editor’s to either leave or do a few more takes of the scene.”

“Good, good, so get some rest.”

Fuck it, you were going to shoot your shot. Now or never, you’d be gone in the next few weeks anyways.

“Are you filming today?”

“Nah, same as you, we’re in a holding pattern I guess.”

“Guess so,” you shrug.

“Something else, uh, that helps hangovers.”

“What?” You ask, your breathing picking up.

“Uhm, nothing, it’s stupid.”

“No, come on, tell me.”

“Just. sometimes cuddling with someone, makes you feel safe, feel better.”

“Is that an elaborate excuse to cuddle?”

“What? Pssh, no,” Tom says, looking between you and your bed.

“I mean, we both should rest, so, why not do it together?”

“Really?”

“It’s a good thing you’re cute,” you laugh, taking his hand in yours.

You get comfy, both a little too hot to pull the blankets over you so you lie on top of them. You lie your head on his chest, his arm resting over your shoulder.

You both quickly fell asleep, hoping to sleep off the achy feeling and your headaches.

**** Evangeline and Paul go to check on you a little later, she knocks on your door and there’s no answer so she lets herself in.

She stops when she sees you and Tom curled up on your bed, sound asleep. She closes the door gently and turns to Paul, “you owe me 10 bucks.”

[willsff7rthoughts]

[REVIEW] Final Fantasy VII: Remake

WARNING: This review contains spoilers for both Final Fantasy VII (1997) as well as Final Fantasy VII: Remake (2020).

Introduction

Before I get into things, I feel like this review deserves a little bit of context. 

Final Fantasy VII (1997) is my favorite video game of all time. As a kid, I liked my Game Boy games; Pokémon Red and Link’s Awakening were good fun as I passed summer days at my grandparents’ house. However, it wasn’t until I played Final Fantasy VII that I fell in love with video games and realized the platform’s potential as an art form. The game packed a full and impactful punch – a vast and varied world to explore, an engrossing and gripping story, characters whose lives are changed forever, stunning graphics (at the time), a simple yet deep combat system, and a new way of keeping things fresh at every turn. All of this spanned across four discs and fifty hours of a completely riveting gaming experience. 

Video games have been my foremost hobby and passion since my first foray into this wonderful adventure, and thus it isn’t a stretch to say that Final Fantasy VII helped define who I am as a person. So, let me be the first person to say that I was nervous when Final Fantasy VII: Remake was announced. I wasn’t one of those people who obnoxiously kept asking for it, nor did I even really want it. The odds of this remake meeting the sky-high expectations set by the original were astronomically low, and the thought of recreating my first love in a modern gaming culture where games are more popular, more culturally relevant, and more heavily scrutinized than ever before was downright terrifying. Imagine that the thing you loved and championed for the most was vilified in the social media era. Indirectly, the part of you which that thing helped to define would be vilified, too. If, in the middle of the remake’s development cycle, Square were to suddenly announce that the plug was pulled on the project and it would never see the light of day, I wouldn’t have been upset because I was so fearful of being disappointed. Nothing could have eased this fear – not the news of the old guard getting together to make this game, not the breathtaking visual previews, or the overwhelmingly well received gameplay demo. I needed to see for myself if Square could re-capture lightning in a bottle.

The point that I’m hoping to illustrate here is that this isn’t a Kingdom Hearts III (2019) situation where Square could have put prison gruel on my plate and I’d still eat it up like a well-seasoned filet mignon simply because I’m happy it exists. Quite the opposite, in fact. Upon popping the disc in, I went in with a strict and critical mindset because this game had to be absolutely stellar; anything else would be a massive disappointment.

With that set up, and a thirty-eight hour escapade from the Sector 1 Reactor to the highway out of Midgar in the books, let’s get into it. I’ll be covering and assigning subjective scores to each of the following categories: Visuals, Sound, World, Gameplay, Characterization, Story, Ending. At the end, I’ll deliver concluding thoughts and attempt a final subjective score.

Visuals

We’ll start with the bells and whistles. Visuals, and then sound.

I’ve always been one to say that graphics are a low priority in the world of video games, that the “game” part is what should grip you moreso than the “video” part. In fact, I haven’t adhered to this more loudly than when defending the 1997 original because no game has been subject to more “polygon graphics” and “Dorito hair” memes.

All that said, good graphics are one hell of a cherry to have on top. And this game’s cherry is a sweet one.

Square Enix has always been at the forefront of graphical prowess for pretty much their entire history; they tend to set the bar in this department when it comes to a new Final Fantasy installment and this remake is no exception.

It’s pretty simple here: Everything. Looks. Fucking. Amazing.

We’ll start with the character designs. All stay true to the original; the biggest liberties that Square decided to take were Barret’s sunglasses to highlight that renegade, demolitionist aesthetic (he may or may not wear them indoors a bit too much, but I digress) and Tifa’s new stockings and sports bra underneath her iconic white tank to give her more of that sporty, martial artist look. Both are welcome additions. Zooming out and taking a look at the entire cast, everyone looks absolutely brilliant in their 2020 self. 

Facial expressions, lip syncing, and body language are of course impeccable and life-like for all characters throughout the game’s entirety. It’s important to note, too, that Square pushed the envelope so much on these character models that it’s often hard to distinguish whether or not in-game models or pre-rendered models are being used in cutscenes. 

Animations both in battle and out of it are extremely fluid and well-done. Battle particles and visuals are flashy and distinct without being overbearing or stealing the limelight away from the gameplay itself. Between Kingdom Hearts III and now this game, it’s probably fair to say that all of the chatter surrounding Square’s adoption of Unreal Engine 4 can now be put to rest. 

I’ll cover the visual quality of Midgar itself in the “World” section, but as you can probably imagine, I was blown away by that, too.

Visuals Score: 10/10

Sound

Let’s begin with the voiceover quality (I played in English). This is actually a harder obstacle for Square to tackle than people realize, I think. These aren’t brand new characters. People know them already. The original game’s dialogue was done completely in text, so if you’re Square, you face this challenge where your players have a distinct voice in their head for these characters based on their appearances, backgrounds, personalities and choices of words. Can you capture that exactly?

I think Square did a great job, for the most part. You can hear Cloud’s fake apathy, the sincerity underneath his front of not caring. There’s a distance and mysterious quality to his voice that I think is so essential to his character. Barret is likely the weakest in terms of vocal performance; when he gets loud, I can’t get the Internet’s early comparisons to Robert Downey Jr. in Tropic Thunder (2008) out of my head. However, when speaking at a normal tone, and especially when speaking at a somber tone, I think he’s absolutely perfect. Gruff and tough, yet absolutely empathetic and passionate. Tifa likely has the strongest vocal performance, perfectly capturing a character who is pensive and struggling to identify what’s right amidst the chaos around her while being put in the position of needing to be the voice of reason. Aerith’s voice is higher pitched and carries more whimsy than I had imagined, but I also really like this version because it paints Aerith as this ordinary, innocent and playful woman which is true to her initial characterization before we find out that she is connected to something much, much deeper. The rest of the characters are voiced beautifully, from the Shinra crew, to the entirety of Avalanche (shoutouts to getting Badger from Breaking Bad to play Wedge, how absolutely perfect), to the random scared citizens we meet amongst the slums.

Moving onto the soundtrack... just wow. Nobuo Uematsu, you brilliant son of a bitch. 

I’m of the opinion that Final Fantasy VII boasts the second best soundtrack in the franchise, second only to Final Fantasy IX (2000), and I really didn’t see where it had room to improve. Imagine if all of The Beatles were alive and said today, “Yeah, we’re going to remake Abbey Road, and make it even better.” Like... how? How do you improve upon a masterpiece? The potential and possibility is just outside of our comprehension, right? And yet, they would probably find a way.

Similarly, in a 2020 landscape in which Nobuo has a lot more tools, tricks, and experience up his sleeve, he managed to churn out a reimagined soundtrack that builds upon the core strengths of the original to create something new and grand. For example, from the jump, we can compare the Bombing Mission tracks. The original is fantastic, and a classic – a spunky baseline combined with anxiety-inducing synth horns create the perfect ambience for the mission at hand while setting up Midgar’s feel of a grungy, electric city. Nobuo’s version for the remake utilizes a sweeping orchestra to create the exact same feeling but with a much fuller sound fitting for a modern game. 

Of course, plenty of new tracks were created for this game as well such as the score for the Wall Market sections, and certainly deserve their place amongst the old songs that we fell in love with before. Because of this, no two areas of Midgar felt the same (which can happen in a world where everything is called a sector and a number), and areas from the original took on that received their own theme took on a life of their own. Finally, the collectible jazz tracks were an amazing touch that provided an alternative look at the game’s iconic themes without breaking the immersion of the world too much.

A few of my personal favorites from throughout the game:

The Airbuster – A remake of Final Fantasy VII’s boss theme, and it just... slaps, as the kids say.

Critical Shot – An alternate battle theme that we first heard in the trailers which was simply a lot of fun to fight to

Tifa’s Theme – Seventh Heaven – The iconic piano track blossoms into a wonderful and iconic orchestral experience. Beautifully done.

Aerith’s Theme – Sector 5 Church – This one’s a bit of an outlier; it’s not actually listed on the FF7R OST and is in fact original to Nobuo’s Final Fantasy VII piano collections, but it’s the perfect example of music tying a ribbon onto a scene. Cloud falling into the Sector 5 Church and meeting Aerith is something I’ve seen countless times, but I was still moved to tears by how beautifully everything comes together. 

On Our Way (Collectible Jazz Track) – We get the Kalm theme early with this one. Man, oh, man that saxophone.

Sound Score: 10/10

World

To be honest, it was basically a given that Square was going to nail the bells and whistles. Square-Enix games rarely, if ever, disappoint in the audiovisual department. With those out of the way, we can start moving to the meat of the review: How well did Square-Enix recreate this iconic world? In the case of this edition of the Remake, did they manage to bring Midgar to life in an acceptable way?

I’m going to make a confession. After the bombing mission, I felt bored. In fact, I turned the game off and called it a night. This isn’t to say that the bombing mission wasn’t recreated beautifully – it certainly was – it’s just that I've been conditioned by the original game to associate Midgar with being this slow, uninteresting opening act of the Final Fantasy VII story and that the bombing mission is just the first step to leaving Midgar so that I can start the real adventure. 

And then, I got to Sector 7.

Holy shit.

I hadn’t really put much thought into how many levers Square had at their disposal to bring Midgar to life. Sector 7 served as the first of many slaps to the face that absolutely nothing was off limits, and whatever Square was going to touch was turning into gold. What in the 1997 edition was simply one screen with the bar, a couple shops, and an apartment or two we could enter was transformed into a full-on city. A grid of streets, avenues, and alleyways littered with townsfolk whose conversations about recent plot points we could overhear as we passed by, which created a pulse within the slums. A bevy of different stores and buildings to explore. A fresh cast of characters and NPCs to converse with which deepened our connection to these slums. And the plate. I could talk for hours about this – in the original, such a big deal is made of the two layers of Midgar, and how the top plate on which the privileged live blocks out the sky and pollutes the air for the slums below. But we literally never see the freaking thing because obviously, how could they show it in a top-down view? And yet, in this remake, it’s very much omnipresent. The steel sky of dread and inequality spans omnipresent across the slums we traverse (I unashamedly spent a legitimate five minutes just staring up at it, like “Holy crap. There it is...” as if I were a kid catching Santa Claus on Christmas night). 

And of course, Sector 7 was just the tip of the iceberg. Sector 5 got a very similar treatment in addition to perfectly recreating Aerith’s house while capturing its vibes of being a diamond in the rough. Shinra HQ was downright gorgeous and more grand than we could have imagined. Something that stood out to me was Square’s ability to expand on areas from the original Midgar that were total afterthoughts – the journey from Sector 5 to the Sector 7 playground which in the original was a couple unremarkable screens became a winding stretch worth hours of exploration, puzzles, and battle. Other originally miniscule areas like the train graveyard, the sewers underneath Wall Market, and the climb up to Shinra HQ all got a similar treatment. Square didn’t stop there, either, introducing new areas such as a brief foray to the suburbs topside of the plate which showed new light upon this electric city. Honestly, what floored me the most was just how much life there was in all of Midgar. The conversations that the city’s inhabitants in virtually all areas that we pass through served to not only give Midgar a heartbeat, but also to make us as the player truly feel the gravity of our actions.

Truly, Square’s brilliance shone bright here – the bland and boring original Midgar only served as a blank canvas for the city to be invigorated in grand fashion for this remake.

World Score: 10/10

Gameplay

This is possibly the most important section. All the bells and whistles about this game are great, and the setting was recreated beautifully while capturing every vibe of the original and then some... but in the end, this is a video game, and aesthetics and soundscape don’t mean anything if your game isn’t fun.

Square-Enix had a monumental challenge before them when having to come up with a combat system for this remake. On the one hand, you have the classic Final Fantasy ATB system which longtime fans of the series absolutely love; this rewards tactical thinking, preparation, and methodically planning out and expending turns and resources to reach the outcome that you desire. On the other hand, turn based combat isn’t exactly premium gaming in 2020. I’m a Final Fantasy purist and even I can admit that. We’re just not as limited anymore. Developers have the ability to create these fantastic action-based games with better responsiveness, flow, and hitbox/hurtbox technology than ever before, and this style of gaming is obviously a lot more appealing and rewarding to a wider audience of players who frankly know better in this day and age.

So, Square did their best Dora impression and said “Why not both?”

And from it came perfection.

Yes, I said “perfection”. Square was somehow able to find a way to make old school and new school tango, and they are wonderful dance partners. 

A brief summary for those who are out of the loop: In a normal state, combat plays a lot similarly to a lot of action-based games we know and love today (think God of War, Kingdom Hearts, Dark Souls). You can move around freely, guard, dodge, and attack to your heart’s content. There are elements here that are absolutely necessary in a modern video game that were missing in the original Final Fantasy VII: Constant engagement. Real-time skill expression. 

The traditional Final Fantasy players don’t get left out either. By playing through combat normally – attacking, blocking, and dodging – the player builds up their ATB gauge. Once their ATB is full, they can enter Tactical Mode, which slows down time dramatically and allows the player to use their character’s skills, magic, summons, and items.

And the absolutely beautiful thing? You need both standard play as well as Tactical Mode to succeed in combat. The necessity of standard play is obvious – you need to be able to run around, attack, and defend to thrive in combat. But you won’t get anywhere with tougher enemies just by whacking them. You need to use your ATB gauge in order to pack a significant punch to enemies, to discover and exploit their weaknesses, and to heal up your party.

Speaking of the party, I deeply enjoyed being able to switch seamlessly between controlling the party members with the push of a button. AI-controlled party members’ ATB gauges fill up more slowly, which means constant switching, assigning ATB usage, and moving to the next party member are key to maximizing effectiveness. Hooray for even more avenues for skill expression!

And let me just take a second to gush. Perhaps my biggest criticism of the original Final Fantasy VII is that literally every character is pretty much the same in battle. Yes, their base stats vary slightly, as do their Limit Breaks, but aside from that, with enough materia and stat increase item shenanigans (and it doesn’t take much), every character plays and feels the same in combat.

Square completely shattered that criticism in this remake. Every character feels unique and satisfying to play:

What’s remarkable to me about playing as Cloud is how well Square nailed the speed at which he plays at. ‘Cause think about it, right? Dude’s holding a sword that weighs 80-100 lbs, so his attacks and moveset have to be able look and feel like they pack a heavy punch. But at the same time, we know that Cloud’s no rook, and he has some dexterity and speed to him. To find this balance, his combos from beginning to middle a great tempo and good flash, and they finish with a visible powerful and empathetic smash.

Tifa is far and away my favorite character to play as. Honoring her Final Fantasy monk inspiration, Square designed Tifa in such a way that she feels like she came straight out of a fighting game. Lightning quick, an emphasis on combos, and get this – you can animation cancel. As an example, I was fighting a boss and already had Unbridled Strength (damage boost) and Haste (ATB buildup boost) activated on Tifa. I dodged the boss’s frontal cleave with Focused Strike, strung some basic attacks together, threw in Overpower which links with your basic attacks, and finished by using Whirling Uppercut then canceling the landing animation by using Divekick. That’s. Insane.

Square nailed Barret’s awkward role as the supporty-ranged tank. His damage isn’t great, but he plays at a safe range and is your best bet to take down units at a far distance. He has some ridiculous HP and defensive stats and is a solid magic user so he was honestly great to switch to when my higher DPS characters needed a breather to get healed up. 

Okay first of all, thank God they gave Aerith a magic-based ranged basic attack. The sound of her whacking something in the original to the tune of, like, 12 damage will haunt my dreams forever. Aerith feels fantastic to play as well. I draw comparisons to the Final Fantasy XIV black mage – switch to Aerith, set up an Arcane Ward (doubles spellcasts!), don’t move, and watch as her ridiculous magic abilities burn enemies down. She’s also great to leave on AI-controlled standby so that she can attack safely from a distance and heal up the party as needed.

The battles themselves were great; each boss felt unique and had a weakness to discover and exploit. Seamlessly weaving in cutscenes and dialogue added a cinematic flair that was just another cherry on top of an amazing combat system. The typical monsters and trash mobs that we came across were all unique as well, and their variants encountered later in the game added twists of required tactical thinking.

I have only a couple points of discomfort with the new combat system, and they’re both very minor ones. First, the fact that skills/spells (and even Limit Breaks!) can be interrupted by enemy actions could be extremely frustrating – especially if there were larger amounts of enemies present, your character could get juggled quite easily. Filling up your ATB gauge and readying a skill just for it to be interrupted because some demon hound ran up and smacked you in the head has to be the least “Final Fantasy” feeling ever. That being said, this is easily where you can throw the term “skill expression” right back at me. The second point of discomfort is that enemies were very clearly agro’d to whoever you control as the player. This made playing a ranged character like Aerith annoying at times, because, dammit, I just want to DPS without hordes of monsters running at me! Again, “skill expression” is a double edged sword, but I found it a little strange that enemies would drop what they’re doing, stop fighting Cloud, and start running at Barret just because I switched to him.

Zooming out to other facets of gameplay! I really enjoyed how materia was implemented which may just be a derivative of how smart the combat system was that Square created, but I think Square really hit the mark of having to carefully plan out your party’s materia loadout and envisioning how it would execute in battle. The weapon level-up system adds an extra layer of depth and reminds me of Final Fantasy IX’s skill learning system, which is great. Finally, the large amount of minigames and side quests available added a good deal of variety to the game, without being overly complicated or time consuming.

This was probably the most enjoyable game in the Final Fantasy series from a pure “this is a fun game” standpoint.

Gameplay Score: 10/10 (would honestly be an 11 if such a thing were real)

Characterization

The Final Fantasy series is typically at the top of its class for its character building and development, but I was still slightly nervous heading into this remake that Nomura wouldn’t recapture that magic accurately. Maybe I was conditioned from Final Fantasy XIII (2009) and Final Fantasy XV, but I was especially worried about Cloud. “Please don’t make Cloud this typical brooding, angsty emo Final Fantasy protagonist,” I remember thinking to myself. Because that’s not who he is. Cloud Strife is a dork. He’s a dork who adapts incredibly poorly to new situations and puts on a front of apathy when uncomfortable, but he doesn’t hate the world.

I should have put more faith in the fact that the original game’s character designer became the remake’s director. For the most part, I truly feel like the cast’s Act I character arcs played out and were shown as they should be. Cloud starts out apathetic but that front really begins to melt after he meets Aerith. Aerith herself comes off as this fun and innocent girl but progressively drops more and more hints that she’s part of something much bigger. Barret begins as the loud and rambunctious leader figure which gives way to a total empath who’s still trying to process just what he’s been caught up in. Tifa is shown with her typical slow and steady struggle to come to terms with what has to be done to make things right in the world after traumatic childhood events made her averse to it all.

The rest of the cast’s characters were painted beautifully. Sephiroth made more appearances than normal in this Midgar section (more on that later), but we still don’t understand a word that’s coming out of his mouth. We see the distinct division in those under the Shinra umbrella between those who have morals and those who sip the Kool-Aid. We’re introduced to a new cast of characters in the slums who are working tirelessly to make life better for those around them despite being dealt a terrible hand, and they function to strengthen both the main cast and the story as a whole.

A particular gem that I was delighted by were the interactions between characters. The original was somewhat limited in this department, but we can visibly see the cast grow closer as the remake goes on. Cloud goes from being disinterested and saying “For a price” to any request that Avalanche have for him, to selflessly agreeing to help Barret search for his friends and family post-plate drop, to poking fun at his old self in front using his old “For a price” motto. Additionally, because the areas of Midgar to travel between locations were expanded immensely, things like conversations between characters with no other purpose but character development were added in as we made our way through these winding stretches. That’s a huge advantage that a modern voiced game has over the original that had to use text for dialogue – we had to literally stop everything in order for an interaction between characters to occur. Now, they can just be thrown in wherever. We see more high fives, cheers, ribs, jokes. hugs, and tender moments than ever before. And to me, what this establishes for the cast as a whole is such a beautiful change of pace from a classic Final Fantasy game. This isn’t just a collection of individuals with aligning goals. These are friends.

This in particular makes me really excited for future installments; we now have evidence that these characters are everything that they should be. That baseline allows for more interactions and development, and even the most hardcore old school Final Fantasy VII fans will get to know and enjoy these characters on a deeper level.

Characterization: 10/10

Story

Too often did I get one of my friends to try the original Final Fantasy VII, hoping they’d fall in love too, only for them to lose interest before leaving Midgar because that part of the game is downright boring. Everything is dark and dreary, we don’t really care about the people of the Slums so we don’t feel the empathy to want to help them, the story crawls along, the deaths we see are of characters we only knew briefly, and all of it seems for naught because we find out Sephiroth is the much bigger threat; not some greedy electric company.

But much like with the design of Midgar itself, I hadn’t really put much thought with just how much they can build upon that unexciting first act.

[natsspammityspamspamham]

Oscars Comments (from an unqualified person)

I always watch the Oscars and all these award shows every year.

Janelle Monae hit her performance out of the park. That was one hell of a way to open a show.

Steve Martin and Chris Rock were funny. They just went out and said, “You know what the directing category lacks? Vaginas.” You can’t even say there weren’t any options. The Farewell and Little Women both had female directors.

The animated category shouldn’t have gone to Toy Story 4. That was absolute bullshit. Missing Link, Klaus, and J'ai perdu mon corps (it’s exactly what it sounds like “I Lost My Body”) were all original movies that deserved the award more. ESPECIALLY MISSING LINK. THAT STOP-MOTION STUFF TAKES SO MUCH COMMITMENT.

The animated short category wasn’t as bad... I liked Hair Love, but I liked Kitbull and Sister better. Kitbull has cute animals and has a strong message against animal cruelty, and Sister made a really strong statement (seriously, I left that short film shook and like, “HOLY SHIT THEY JUST DID THAT”)

Best screenplay went to Parasite, and I’m satisfied with that. The script of Parasite was succinct, to the point, smart, and it flowed so well. Even though we probably missed all the nuances and idiosyncrasies in Korean, it transcended borders. 

Congrats to Taika Waititi for winning best-adapted screenplay. I watched a trailer for Jojo Rabbit, found out what happens, got a whiff of feels, and never looked back. He’s also the first indigenous person to win an Oscar for that category. 

They got James Corden and Rebel Wilson (DRESSED UP AS CATS FROM THE MOVIE CATS) to present best VISUAL EFFECTS.

Also, never forget those people who work on everything else from editing, cinematography, visual effects, costume design, set design, etc. because they put in so much work to get little recognition for the stuff they do.

But music? That’s something I can relate to! A film composer? That used to be my dream job. I would love to compose for films even just as passion projects. All the nominations were phenomenal, but I’m glad Joker won. Joker is made scary by everyone on the cast, the production, and that includes the music. 

To be honest, I preferred Harriet to Elton John’s new song for his movie. Into the Unknown from Frozen II was good too, but Harriet had an astounding performance. 

Shoutout to that Spanish movie that was nominated for best actor and best international film (glad they renamed that category). Pain and Glory is an unsung movie that just like Parasite, broke through some stuff to get there. 

Joaquin Phoenix deserved best actor and we all know it. I don’t want to watch Joker. I didn’t know about the best actress, but she looks and talks completely different from my role which confused and amazed me. 

Parasite was a great movie, but I’m not sure what makes it best picture compared to the rest of the nominees because I haven’t watched the rest of the nominations. I’m just glad it opened the horizon for more foreign movies.

Every year, the Oscars always hype me up and get me excited for movies I’m never going to see. These kinds of shows remind me of just why I love film (sometimes beyond animation, believe it or not). I love the way it tells stories, the way it moves us, and the way it makes us think beyond a world of our own. I guess that’s why I wanted to be a part of it at some point in my life. 

[jeremiahwasajoker]

5x01 (Year Zero): A Review

Hey guys! As you know, Gotham’s first episode of season 5 debuted on Thursday, and I AM SHOOK BEYOND BELIEF! I felt it was necessary to document my thoughts and reactions for this episode, so here I am. I wanted to gather all my thoughts on the episode in one place, just to clear my head out a bit and to share some theories and thoughts!

WARNING: This includes spoilers. If you have not seen the episode yet and want to avoid seeing any information about it, I would advise you to not look at this until you have done so. Without further ado, let’s get started!

So, first thing’s first: I want to give a shout out to Danny Cannon and Jessica Lucas. This was Danny’s last episode as an executive producer on Gotham, and the show would not be the same without him. As we all know, this is Jessica’s last episode, too, as Tabitha died. She was a strong, outstanding character that added that much pizazz to the show, and she will be deeply missed by not only me, but so many other fans who enjoyed her development and presence. 

Also, I think it’s necessary to say thank you to all the departments of design, whether it be for the costumes, cinematography, etc.  The costumes were to die for this episode! The visuals were stunning and movie-like! I can’t wait to see what else they do for these next 11 episodes coming up.

Next, I would like to review what I thought about some of the arcs of major characters and scenes that were incredible throughout Year Zero. They are in no particular order! Here we go!

“If it’s the last thing I do...”

Wow. Just wow. Erin Richards really did give me the chills with this scene. Her shouting into the camera was absolutely perfect, as we can see that she really conveyed Barbara’s grief of Tabitha’s passing in these twelve seconds. I was blown away. Not only by this scene, but even in the big fight scene that I’ll get to later. I know Barbara is not on the top of everyone’s list as their favorite, but I can say that I am so excited to see the rest of her arc. This scene really took the cake for me.

“Hope”

I would first like to say that I am a huge fan of Jim’s inspirational speeches throughout the series. This one was really a unifying moment for the GCPD, as they decided that they were going to do the best job they could, no matter what, to save the citizens of Gotham from the wrath of the villains. I think this was a really strong way to end the episode, and it makes me really hyped to see Jimbo doing the best for the citizens of the city.

The Shootout

R.I.P. Tabitha Galavan. This whole scene, whether it be Bruce sneaking in, Jim and the GCPD fighting off Penguin and his men, the struggle between Oswald and Tabitha, or even Barbara’s rage was perfect. Jessica and Robin did a phenomenal job in this scene, as they showed that there wasn’t just a feeling of vengeance between the two, as their past has been pretty rocky. Barbara’s war cry gave me the chills, along with Oswald screaming in pain after being shot in the leg. (OW! That must’ve hurt a lot). This scene will definitely go down as one of Gotham’s most iconic. 

Selina’s Suicide Attempt

This HURT so much. After hearing that she would have a suicide attempt this season, I was saddened, and assumed she would try to kill herself a different way than the way she did. I love Jeremiah so much, but the pain that Selina was going through was not worth whatever he was looking to do. Also, if she’s going to try to get revenge on him...oof. It makes me feel so conflicted! I know Camren said that this scene was one of the hardest to shoot, and I would like to say that she did an outstanding job with her performance. It made me so sad. Also, that nurse is creepy! There’s no way she’s not a Jeremiah follower in some capacity. (Look at her eyebrows!)

Ecco

A queen? She literally had the shortest scene in the episode, but shook me to my core. I was not expecting her outfit/hairstyle! I’m so used to seeing her with her hair in a bun, and I really like the look of the high ponytail for her. Also, the simplified version of the mummer costume was cool, it looks like just a leather jacket. She was so sneaky, and she doesn’t seem unhinged yet. It makes me wonder what will cause her to switch. Maybe it’s just a façade. Also, I love the jingle bells! I’m also glad she was doing work for her man, and I will say that her drawing was pretty good. Why the Jerome logo, though? I guess we’ll find out.

Since there were too many scenes for me to have the time to cover, I’ll have some honorable mentions! Edward the dog, Bruce vs. Scarecrow’s men, Scarecrow in general (he scared me), the flashforward to day 391, Bruce and Selina, Bruce and Jim, and the Riddler waking up everywhere. 

Now is the time for a few comments and questions I have for the latest episode!

Who shot down the chopper? (I’m aware that literally everyone is asking this). Okay, so we only know three people who have access to an RPG: Penguin (who it wasn’t), Zsaz, and Jeremiah. Zsaz is actually a pretty good guess, I’d say, but something tells me it might have something to do with Jeremiah. I’d doubt it would be he himself, as he is a bogeyman this season, hiding within the shadows of Gotham’s discontent. (See what I did there?) I think it was Ecco. Maybe she needs to stock up on ammo, or needs to get food for her and Mr. J. She had access to the GCPD, so maybe she heard about it there? It’s a great distraction to steal stuff from Penguin or Babs, so I think it most likely was her. Also, she is doing Jeremiah’s dirty work, so it’s not out of possibility.

Who’s the Witch? I think the witch is Ivy. I mean, she’s been confirmed for 5x02, and she would have a motive for helping Selina. How that weird nurse would know? I have no clue. I used to think that when I read the synopsis for the next episode that Ecco would be the witch, as she kinda had those vibes with the mask and cloak on, but after seeing the stills and cast for “Trespassers”,  I think it's Ivy.

Shoutout to my boy Jeremiah! I love the imagery of the map with the laughing face on it, as it kinda signifies that he’s literally ruling the city from underneath. I also love that his presence was felt throughout the episode, despite not being there for any of it in person. He’s going to be such an amazing villain this season, I just know it.

Who was the lady calling Jim? I heard things about a Theresa Walker this season, and apparently she has a big impact on the plot. Jamie Murray (who apparently plays her) was listed as one of the guest stars, but we didn’t see anything that had to do with her. Maybe it was her calling Jim? I don’t know. 

If I had to sum up the episode with one Jeremiah Valeska mood, it would be:

I’m very happy with how this episode turned out! 

What a strong way to start out the season. I know that I’ve seen most of the footage in Year Zero in trailers, stills, etc., but it still blew me away. My parents were also very impressed, and really amazed with how the episode turned out. (Which also made me happy!) I really can’t wait for next week. 

Thank you for reading this! I hope you all had a wonderful time watching, too! I think I’m going to do one of these for each one that comes out. I’m so excited for the rest of the season! I hope you enjoyed!

[applegelstore]

My sis and I are through with the actual main plot of KH3, so I can officially go back to scheduled ToZ fangirling now. …Well, I promised Cray a bit of fix-it-fanart, so after that, I guess.

Hit the cut for a resume. It got super long and has endgame story spoilers, so you might not want to stumble upon it by accident.

Another extra big shoutout (again!) to @crazayrock for bearing my liveblogging on Discord, screaming without context and occasional spoilers. And linking me fluffy Soriku doujinshi. Here, have my favourite, spoiler-heavy excerpt of our conversation:

Okay anyway, let’s get started: GAMEPLAY

Kingdom Hearts 3 is BEAUTIFUL. The gameplay is so smooth and intuitive that you can immediately get to playing like you’d never done anything else; in fact so smooth that I doubt I will ever be able to pick up the first game ever again. It’s always been fun, but the looooooong years’ gap actually did wonders to the gameplay.

The keyblade form changes are fun and keep things fresh, you can do flashy triangle button shit every other minute, and shotlock is still insanely useful without being a game-breaker.

It seems easier than the first two main games, though?

The gummi ship is still a pain in the ass to steer, but I do enjoy the open world-like travel options (even if there’s not… much to discover except heartless lasering the shit out of you). I’m also eternally grateful that they kept the gummi ship thing from KH2 where you can just use a new gummi ship once you got the blueprint and don’t buy actual fucking legos as in the first game.

Thank you, Square. Not thanking you for the dumb cherry flan game, though.

The Caribbean being basically an open world stage was delightful! Apparently what our resident island kid needs is a big ship and tropical islands to plunder.

VISUALS AND STUFF

PRETTY LIGHTS EVERYWHERE

The long gap between the games also did wonders to the visuals.

There’s finally, FINALLY a few towns with actual NPCs you can talk to. Why it took the team so many years and the Gods know how many games is beyond me. The magic effects are beautiful, the animations smooth (honestly you can hardly tell apart cutscenes and fully rendered CGI scenes in this day and age of the PS4. I’m probably the only person still amazed by this because the only games I played on PS4 before were a few hours of Child of Light and of course Tales of Zestiria and Berseria. No, I still haven’t played FFXV but that’s a topic for another day). How far videogames have come.Even space finally looks like space, lol. Not really high-end what the PS4 can do I assume but god, it’s such an amazing and much needed upgrade from the terrible textureless colourful tubes you flew through before.

No excuse for the terrible battleship thingy before the Keyblade Graveyard, though. I got lost and beaten up so many times and crashed against more walls than I can count.

Nothing beats the World that Never Was, but the Keyblade Graveyard also has creepy cool potential, as does the beautiful but ghosted City in the Sky.

Still not getting what’s with JRPGs and very Definitely Final Dungeons (TM) that are basically space. …………or heaven. Or nothing. I’m getting the bad kind of original NGE TV series ending vibes. But. Okay.

The soundtrack is splendid

.……I miss Traverse Town and Radiant Garden, however.

Which brings us to:

THE WORLDS

I guess I can live with no more Final Fantasy characters being there (although I always loved that), and the meta jokes in Toy Story world really got me. Seeing Disney characters calling the KH villains call out on their shit was delightful. …the KH characters lampshading their own games’ sloppy dialogue writing was delightful.Still, those Disney worlds are always so much more in my head than what I actually get to play. This has been bugging me ever since the first game and it still does. I do not expect or want to replay the entire movies, but would it hurt to give the cutscenes some goddamn background music? Whenever there’s cutscenes, either the world’s usual BGM keeps playing or the music stops altogether. Together with the shortened dialogues and generally drastically shortened plots with odd cuts, that leads to scenes that are awkward at best. They never even remotely have the impact the movies had. You just sit there and think “oh wow that is so silly and awkward”.

Dancing scene in Corona? My favorite scene in Tangled. Zero impact on me without the lovely BGM (at least they made it a minigame so the moment isn’t over after 3 secs). Just for example. You can ask me like, world by world, but I can think of only exception off the top of my head and it’s not helping:

Let it Go of course. Listen guys, I actually love the song. But it’s so overused (and Frozen is an overrated movie at best that doesn’t deserve its hype in the slightest) that I can’t even really enjoy it being there. Like.


IF THAT’S OKAY WITH YOU,WHY DIDN’T YOU INCLUDE LITERALLY ANY OTHER ORIGINAL SONG FROM THE ORIGINAL MOVIES. Instead of BGM just not being there entirely, or in odd, cringey re-renderings that nobody wants to listen to (*cough* Atlantica *cough*).

Why torture me and not give me the one good scene from At World’s End (the up is down scene) when you had the chance?Kingdom Hearts is also prone to super lazy level design and wasting chances at wonderful scenery for no apparent reason other than I suppose empty cliffsides are quick to render. All games before did that, and KH3 is, sadly, no exception. We get to see a bit of Corona and Athens and they finally have NPCs, too, but you cannot even get near Arendelle. You cannot enter Elsa’s palace. You spend the entire time there climbing around in the snowy mountains of Norway, and unfortunately it looks less interesting than one would expect from the lovely concept art that the film unfortunately never used.You cannot enter Rapunzel’s tower although Sora can apparently parkour his way up even without her help.

………In short, the places you can go are, again, very limited, and a lot of interesting places and scenes you never get to see.

And to follow the plot you still only need the stuff that does NOT happen in those Disney worlds because they’re all beach filler episodes. It’s always been like that, but I keep wondering whether I’m the only one bothered by that. I’m also still salty they didn’t introduce a single new world from a 2D animated movie.

Also, as I said, I miss Traverse Town, it felt so warm and welcoming and beautiful.

And I get behind The World that Never Was missing although I loved it there, but why not give us back Radiant Garden? Destiny Islands since they’ve been restored? Disney Castle?

As much as I love the series, it never fucking lives up to its own potential. Idk whether it’s made more difficult by copyright issues or whatever, I just know that it bugs me.The first two games also had like twice as many worlds.

PLOT

I mean it’s never been deep; however, it’s complicated. No analysis or whatever from me because plot analysis and meta writing bore me like seven hells, just my emotional reaction: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 
Okay, bad news. I got into it expecting nothing, and still got disappointed. I don’t actually enjoy the prospect of writing essays about it, but here’s my tea with it; in not particular order:

1) the pacing is terrible. Nothing happens for like 30 hours and then suddenly like 20 characters’ arcs are (naturally poorly) resolved within the last few hours of cutscenes. Build up anyone? At least they actually did pick up Maleficent and the box thing again. …In the epilogue.

2) Speaking of build ups, Sora’s breakdown could have been developed nicely and steadily over the game to feel natural, and instead it’s hinted at in the beginning by everyone picking on him, but then it’s never further developed and comes out of fucking nowhere. Like. For real? It felt terribly OOC.

3) Why on earth have they shown 90% of the plot in the trailers already, and why are those scenes so massively disappointing in context

4) Kairi. Oh god, Kairi. What are we gonna do with you. I want to love her, I really do, but she’s a prime example of shittily written female leads. Mostly because she’s not leading. It’s not her fault. She’s just a fictional character. But honest to God, Nomura, why. Her screen time is almost nonexistent, and she’s entirely use- and helpless whenever she’s on screen (which isn’t often). Her ONLY point in the plot is being rescued because she is fucking useless. Why. Just why. Why waste her character like that. All we know is that she’s shoehorned into being the token love interest, but she has zero plot relevance and there is even less build up of her relationship with Sora. It’s all tell and NEVER show; and not even much telling, either. She has literally zero direct interaction with in the entire game before they share their paopu. The question remains: why are straights like this

5) On a related note: look, I don’t even ask for (or expect, or even hope) my ship to be canon. Squeenix doesn’t exactly have a rich history in queer representation. I’m totally fine with Sora and Riku being best friends. BUT. Building up Sora as the most important person in Riku’s life (and arguably, vice versa) over the course of several games, just to then hardly have them interact in the finale and then SUDDENLY bring back Kairi into the equation, who hasn’t interacted with him since the ending of KH2 (except for one unsent(?) letter) is just piss poor writing, period.I actually love Cray’s suggestion she gave me over Discord: let Sora, Kairi and Riku all share a paopu together (and let them group hug, too, you cowards). It would have been the perfect message to send (Sora as truly all-loving hero, and loving all your friends equally; romantic love isn’t more important than platonic love and doesn’t need to be singled out). Really sad that this isn’t what happens. Apparently that wouldn’t have been no homo enough.

LET THE DESTINY TRIO GROUP HUG YOU COWARDS


Do Riku and Kairi even interact once in the whole game?


HOW IS THIS A TRIO, IT’S JUST A SHITTILY WRITTEN LOVE TRIANGLE

6) Time travelling is a bitch, Christ. It doesn’t solve plotholes or can be played for drama, it just adds MORE plotholes. It just got WORSE. The cloning blues and people not aging doesn’t help, either.

7) Just so you know, I care absolutely zero for wild fan theories. You’re not Nomura. I want a statement from the man who wrote this shit himself why on bloody earth Sora dies when he apparently successfully found and brought back Kairi (and since nobody aged a day, apparently it didn’t even take that long lol). DUDES, THIS IS KINDA PART OF THE PLOT, AND YOU DON’T BOTHER TO EXPLAIN IT INGAME???? And how was Ienzo/Zexion able to revive Naminé while Kairi was still missing/dead/whatever…?

Okay so in short the writing is worse than ever and that’s saying something.

However, let’s try to find something good in this trainwreck; it wasn’t all bad. There’s some really nice scenes which sadly are better enjoyed without any context at all.

So, guess my favourite scenes.You had time enough, here’s the solution:

1) Purifying uhm er rescuing Aqua. Poor girl. She deserves the rest. Poor, poor Aqua. The only properly wirrten female in the whole damn franchise. Also the only person other than Riku who fucking gets shit done.

2) The Gayblade (TM)

3) Happy Axel in the reunion with his kids. Oh god, the poor chap deserves it so much. Thank you, Nomura. I don’t care that it makes pretty much no sense. Make him happy. Give him his friends back. Just give Axel all his friends and let him happily set things on fire. Hi I love Axel

4) The party at the beach cutscene before the credits roll. Axel and Xion get clothes. Half the organization is on our side now. I almost teared up at the Wayfinder trio saying goodbye to Eraqus’ forceghost. Hey come on he’s the voice of Luke Skywalker

5) Sully yeeting Vanitas

6) Woody calling out Xehanort that nobody loves him

7) Jack Sparrow bad breathing Luxord

I wish we had gotten:

1) justice for Kairi

2) a happy Zexion, the poor emo kid. Well maybe now he will be, with all the orga members who changed sides now, lol.

3) I will never trust mobile games ever again so I don’t want to play KHUX but I would have loved to learn about the Keyblade Wars :;))))


WHAT WAS THE KEYBLADE WAR ABOUT CAN WE SPEND MORE TIME IN THAT COOL CITY IN THE SKY WHAT’S THE DEAL WITH MIKLEO
I MEAN THAT EPHEMER KIDDO


WHAT’S WITH THE MASKED DUDES AND DUDETTES FROM THE MOVIE


WTF WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM AFTER THE MOVIE???? WHERE THOSE KEYBLADE USER NAMES ACTUAL MOBILE GAME PLAYER NAMES??? Next game? PLEASE?

I really, REALLY hope the epilogue means we will get Xiggy/Luxu as our new big bad and we learn more about the five dudes and dudettes from the movie. Please. PLEASE. I’m so up for it. Them finally pickung up the bit with Maleficent and the mysterious box again? Hell yeah.

The secret movie was really unexciting in comparison, although I laughed very hard at the “Verum Rex” scene in Toy Story world. Maybe that’s why it was much cheaper to unlock than in KH1 and KH2.

4) give Ven a drink

DLC ideas I would actually pay for because I’m a sad human being: 1) more Disney worlds 2) Japanese audio 3) at least one of the following as permanently playable characters: Riku, Kairi, Axel, Ven, Aqua. At least as a guest member as in KH2. THIS SUCH A BIG STEP BACKWARDS I’M FUMING

FINAL THOUGHTS

Kingdom Hearts 3 is a hella lot of fun, beautiful, and also moving when it sets its mind to it. Unfortunately it doesn’t always do so. I don’t feel like it wasn’t worth the wait; it was. However, I’m very salty how rotten the writing is. I do not mind logical fallacies, I do not mind the cheesiness and cringeyness; however, I do mind how so many interesting characters do not get the screentime they deserve, and Kairi is a very bad joke.

I’ll probably find more to nitpick about (Gods. Just. Don’t come up with dub excuses why Sora is lv 1 in each game. JUST LEAVE IT BE. You don’t explain why Donald and Goofy are lv 1 again, either. JUST. LEAVE. IT. BE. The sacrifice was dumb and not even moving, I’m just still furious that Kairi’s ONLY point in the plot is being so useless that it’s literally getting herself KILLED and she needs constant rescuing to the point that Sora has to sacrifice himself for her, effectively. Kairi deserves better, Sora deserves better, I deserve better than to think about this absurdity.…I’m just… gonna cherry-pick the good bits from the lore and try to pretend the finale didn’t exist, I guess. GODS.

[jq37]

okay so I meant to send this on anon and I think I might have accidentally done so off but then I tried to cancel it and idk if it worked?? anyways! the point is, I’m the anon who doesn’t have dropout rn so! what’s the tea on the new ep? what did I miss? :)

**spoilers for arcade ambush**

Now, I know I use the word wild a lot, but don’t let that take away from the fact that this episode was truly wild.

Biz had such an interesting power set. He has the wings so he can fly, he has all the weird mesmerization type powers (I was picturing that old bager, badger, badger, mushroom video when he was multiplying himself to trip up Fig). Fighting him is like being stuck in Toon Town but in the worst possible way. Then there were the game cabinets sucking people into them and the ghosts possessing people and forcing them to flee. It was really a brutal fight.

(Sidenote, are we to believe that the ghosts that he raised were nerds who died in arcade? Morbid, if true. Also it would have to be a different arcade since that one was new.)

Anyway, this def was an ep full of frustration. They were constantly getting frightened and forced to run or trapped in games or whatever. It’s a good think Ally casted Guardian of Faith before the fight because they were, once again, a life saver. I was a little surprised the arcade game fights were one and done Box of Doom rolls but I guess there was a lot going on.

“Well I’ll just shoot him.” Riz getting a nat 1 trying to shoot Biz point blank was so painful. 

Riz: Hey guys, Biz is a bad guy./Adaine: Yeah, no duh! 

Everyone making the most mediocre rolls to check out the prizes in the prize cabinet. And Brennan just getting more and more like, “Come on y’all.” I wanted someone to pick up the sneakers. I felt like they were gonna be some kind of stealth bonus item.

Gorgug got a nat 20 charisma! My boy!

Oh, side note, they updated Adaine’s mini with her boss new jacket which is super dope.

Fig and Kristen actively antagonizing the corn god who’s saving their ass.

“Fucking nerd.” Adaine, who has been pretty savage the past few episodes.

Fabian who has never been denied anything in his life looking at the million credit sword: I’d like it.

Trevon

Everyone being furious at Riz being stuck in the game but also impressed by the design of the set.

Gorgug calling his parents mid-fight! Which seems wild but actually is the SMARTEST THING ANY OF THESE LITERAL CHILDREN HAVE EVER DONE.

I feel like Brennan def read up on his philosophy quotes after the last fight because he was back in business this ep.

Cleric is an underrated class y’all. Ally is really rocking it.

What a bad time for Adaine to finally fail a panic attack roll. She’s had a really long run without them though.

I love that Lou always curses as Fabian by saying, “Christ,” completely ignoring that doesn’t make sense in this world, but like. That is what Fabian would say, you know?

Fabian getting stuck in DDR instead of Punch Out is personally offensive to him.

“Hell yeah I take a disengage”

Sidenote: Divination is a really cool ability.

Ugh, Riz. What a terrible time to fail an investigate check. HE GOT PALIMSESTED.

Aww at Lou giving Murph the, “Hang in there, buddy,” shoulder rub after that happened. 

Gorgug getting trapped in whack a gnome is MESSED UP. Also, the fact that whack a gnome is a game that exists in a world where gnomes also exist is SUPER MESSED UP.

Adaine: Fuck, I’m fucked! 

PROTECT YOUR WIZARD BETTER.

Fabian having to have a dance off in the middle of the fight.

The girls getting downloaded periodically throughout the fight was so freaking ominous. 

“I’m under the influence of two ghosts.”

Fabian and Adaine both terrified and running into each other and yelling like freaking Scooby Doo.

OK, while Fig was possessed, Brennan made her read a card that said “Wow. A lot of strong feelings to process here.” And I am told (but can’t confirm) that that’s a line that was said in ep 1? Maybe by the guidance counselor? And then it’s not resolved in this episode. So that seems important.

Emily upon hearing that Riz is stuck in the crystal: Piss in it.

“Do you have any clue about how to get out of here, I mean, clearly you don’t.”

What would Fabian do without that bike, man?

I love that Emily uses Kristen’s full name for no apparent reason half the time.

Kristen channeling the power of friendship to turn undead.

Gorgug is a bottomless pit of HP.

Ally: Is it good to get in the game?/Literally everyone else: NO.

“A tasty walk?”

The philosophers going, “Verily,” to Fig’s base playing and then her moonwalking away.

Siobhan immediately irl cringing at being called a lovely lady by Biz.

HELLISH REBUKE. HELL YEAH FIG. HELL YEAH EMILY.

Penny’s scene with Riz in the palimpsest was like legitimately touching. 

But again, Murph gets the nat 20 at the most story appropriate time! Just like last week.

OK, so the girls’ downloads are getting sent to the AV room in Aguefort. Not necessarily suspicious considering that Biz is involved, but interesting to note.

Gorgug pulling an Odysseus and cranking his tunes to ignore the games. 

Also his, “Sup nerd?” to Biz.

Kristen absolutely crushed this fight y’all. She basically got out without a scratch. 

Siobhan saying sick like Brennan is hilarious to me.

Gorgug being so mad at Biz’s pronunciation of meme.

“Hot topic nerds hate AV club nerds.”

Nothing bothers Emily more than not being able to take an action.

The gang actively mocking and taping Biz as he tries to mesmerize them.

Aww man Murph failing that roll before Penny was downloaded. Heartbreaking. 

Everyone visibly recoiling every time Biz talked.

Zac reminding Brennan about advantage and then him picking up every dice he owns. “LIE NEXT TIME DUDE!” He has a cool ass shock of white hair now though. Like, not good but kinda rad.

I feel like Ally has gotten really comfortable with the game mechanics as we’ve gone on. 

Kristen hugging Gorgug to protect him is such an adorable image. 

“I’m still full health because God exists!”

Shoutout to the SFX guys. They were especially on point this ep.

“Can I just use mage hand to plug the machine out?”

Kristen as Fig getting is her ass kicked by the doppelganger Figs: KISS ONE OF THEM.

The guardian that killed Biz throwing down his cig like a true French philosopher. 

FABIAN. 

Kristen was the MVP of the fight but Fabian was the MVP of the episode y’all. Like I said, all that promo yelling was either gonna be a TPK or the raddest thing ever and it was option 2! 

Shoutout to Siobahn for getting Lou that advantage roll because that saved his ass.

Lou just pretending to get up and leave because game over y’all.

Brennan starting to just narrate assuming failure. 

Zac being like, “Well at least try.”

Lou doing them 1 by 1 for the drama of it all, just like Fabian would want it.

Getting a ten first, exactly half of what he needed.

Then the absolute CHAOS that erupted from the table at the 20. By this point, I was pretty sure he was gonna get it because that shot from the trailer hadn’t happened yet and it was near the end of the episode but DAMN it was satisfying. Moments like this are what MAKE RPGs.

Being showered with gold coins sounds extremely painful but that’s beside the point here. 

Fabian coming back and lying that he was fighting ghosts outside and everyone totally buying and being like thanks for having our backs man.

I love how much Fig loves her two dad situation now. 

Emily and Ally evil mischievous smiling at each other when Emily requests to kill Biz.

Everyone Else: NO.

Brennan: He’s dead, bruh.

Ally like Grinch smiles when Brennan announces that Biz is dead.

“Would she be able to casually get him out of a palimpsest?”

“I still have these handcuffs.”/”Where’d you get those?”/”Uh, nevermind.”

Every time this group has to interrogate someone they escalate all the way immediately.

 But MAN Riz was doing some serious drug cartel interrogation on Biz, shooting off fingers and stuff!

Adaine REFUSING to feel bad about bullying Biz (she’s right and she should say it).

“If I were to have a morsel such as yourself stuck in a palimpsest–” IMMEDIATELY slapped by every party member. Bro, you GOTTA stop perving on Adaine IN FRONT OF HER.

Brennan full on RPing unconsious Biz.

“I’m not a bad guy.”/”YES YOU ARE!”

“Fucking Aelwen again!” Same, girl.

OK, so Biz has false memories of coming up with this idea, but what does that mean exactly? Was he manipulated Inception style or actually forced? Because I come up with bad ideas every day. Doesn’t mean I act on them.

“Blow your fuking nose!”

“You see his dick glows for a second.”

Nice of Adaine to ask for permission to do her brain jitsu, even though she didn’t have to and she had all the extenuating circumstances in the world to just break in.

Biz speaking to Penelope on the regular. Hmm.

Siobhan/Adane’s look when Biz says, “I’m cool too.”

So his memory was cut out the day before the Hudol party. Interesting. 

Adaine getting a clear threat on her family’s life: THEY CAN BURN MY FUCKING HOUSE DOWN I DON’T GIVE A SHIT.

AND THEN IT ENDS THERE

So two things:

1) Siobhan keeps getting KILLER end lines.

2) I threw a lot of plot info at the bottom without analyzing it because I’m going to look at that and the promo in another post (prob tomorrow) so stay tuned! 

[coolgreatwebsite]

Cool Games I Finished In 2018 (In No Real Order)

Man! Wow! 2018! 2018 was a wild year for me. I managed to deliver those elbow drops I talked about last year and ended up doing a lot of of things. I left my job and moved cross-country in the span of like 2 and a half weeks! I took a new job in the video game industry (play Ninjin and Override)! I took a trip to Vegas a week after that! I got in a relationship! I got out of a relationship! It’s been a ride. A ride that hasn’t left me a ton of time to play video games or write about video games, but I’m like 1000 times happier now so it’s probably a fair trade. No matter what though, I will always be here at the end of the year to make a bunch of terrible MSPaint banners and provide you with another one of these. Here’s a bunch of cool games I experienced for the first time in 2018.

Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne (PlayStation 2, 2004)

Nocturne is a game that I haven’t been able to get out of my head since I beat it. It’s so damn cool. It starts with you witnessing a demonic apocalypse where only you, your two friends, your teacher, a reporter, and the man with the world’s wildest widow’s peak survive. These people are, with a couple of notable exceptions, the only real characters in the entire game. You barely see them, and when you do your meetings are usually pretty brief. Sure, you talk to and recruit a horde of demons to your side as party members, and you interact with a handful of demonic antagonists and various demonic NPCs, but for the most part the game is just you. You, alone, wandering the weird hellscape remnants of Tokyo. It’s one of the most solitary-feeling video games I’ve ever played, and it nails this atmosphere flawlessly. The music, the visuals, the writing, every element gels with every other element so smoothly to create a prevailing, almost overbearing feeling of loneliness. The combat and gameplay mechanics are what I understand this series to mostly be like (this being the only mainline SMT I’ve played), and are fun and engaging in a way that’s not too dissimilar from the Persona series. The only knock I have against Nocturne is that the dungeon design super sucks. I’m fine with endless corridors, my love of the PS2 Persona games can attest to that, but almost every dungeon in Nocturne has an annoying gimmick to it, and they all essentially boil down to different takes on a teleporter maze. I was kind of almost dreading navigating dungeons by the time I got to the last fourth of the game, but my intense love for literally everything else saw me through. For those of you who like JRPGs and haven’t played Nocturne, I’m sure you’ve heard this plenty of times, and I was like you once. I didn’t listen. But now I’m on the other side of the tunnel, so I get to say it. You should really, really play Nocturne. It’s good.

Splatoon 2 Octo Expansion (Nintendo Switch, 2018)

Octo Expansion is what Splatoon 2′s single player mode should have been from the start. Don’t get me wrong, the packed in single player campaign is fine, but it’s basically a level pack for Splatoon 1′s. Octo Expansion, on the other hand, is 100% fresh. Structurally it’s much more diverse, with the campaign taking place over 80 mostly-bite-sized missions with varying objectives. There’s a couple of stinkers in there, but overall the quality of the missions is much higher than what was in the original single player campaign. They can actually be pretty tough sometimes too! It was fun to see some actual challenge in a Splatoon campaign. Everything wrapped around the core gameplay of Octo Expansion is kind of phenomenal. The setting and visual design is super weird, the music is way more mellow than anything else that’s come out of the series and creates a great sense of atmosphere, and the writing is actually genuinely pretty great. There’s a lot of funny dialogue and good character moments. They made me like Pearl! The weird gremlin that eats mayo! She’s my friend now! The last half an hour or so of Octo Expansion is also straight up my favorite sequence from a game I played this year too. Don’t sleep on this thing just because it’s DLC. It’s legitimately great.

Monster Hunter: World (PlayStation 4, 2018)

At the outset I was incredibly skeptical of Monster Hunter: World. This wasn’t entirely fair to the game, as a lot of this feeling was based on its initial E3 reveal trailer kinda sorta matching up to some mostly not true pre-E3 leaks, namely that it would be much more action heavy to cater to Western audiences and tie into the then unannounced Monster Hunter movie (which, as an aside, looks like a trainwreck that I desperately want to see). You can probably pretty easily find some tweets and posts from me around that time saying that the game looks like trash because of some misinterpreted new game mechanic. I am here to say that I am a big wrong dumbass and Monster Hunter: World is very good. You might be surprised to hear this, but it’s Monster Hunter! With a bunch of good and well-executed gameplay refinements! And graphics that aren’t repurposed from a PS2 game! It’s a ton of fun and I put a lot of time into it, but it’s not without its flaws. The number of monsters and weapons is comparatively way lower than in previous games, mostly due to that whole not repurposing PS2 models thing. It’s still kind of clunky in a lot of the places Monster Hunter has been historically clunky in, but also in some pretty big new ways, mainly around playing multiplayer. Also the story, while it’s as bland as it’s ever been, is exponentially more intrusive thanks to the addition of voiced cutscenes (which need to be triggered before the game lets you bring other players into story missions, causing a lot of that clunk I mentioned earlier). It’s all nothing game-ruining, of course. The game wouldn’t be on the list if it was! Monster Hunter: World exceeded my expectations, and I’m super looking forward to playing the recently announced G Rank expansion when it comes out next year.

Contra: Hard Corps (Sega Genesis, 1994)

I wish I could go back in time and kick my own stupid ass for not playing this sooner. I’d written off Contra: Hard Corps for the longest time based solely on some bullshit I read on the internet at an age where I just took other peoples’ opinions and made them my own. This and Castlevania Bloodlines were the bad ones, the ones some weird b-team crapped out for the Genesis while the SNES got the good stuff like Contra 3: Alien Wars. Well, it turns out... they were right about Bloodlines. But MAN were they wrong about Hard Corps. Hard Corps is the best Contra game. It fucking rules. I would have gone on with my life never giving the game a glance if not for this excellent Giant Bomb feature happening, and a couple of episodes in I knew I had to play it for myself. Contra: Hard Corps is fucking nuts. It’s balls to the wall 100% of the time. There’s so many unique enemies and wild bosses and they’re all never not exploding. The game has four characters with unique weapons and multiple different level paths that have totally different levels, bosses, and story beats. Oh, and the soundtrack fucking rips. Sometimes it’s a little too much, and there are definitely some sequences and boss attacks that are total gotchas that you can’t survive without prior knowledge of how they work. I’d also be remiss not to give a special shoutout to level 4′s awful, tedious, unskippable-on-any-route boss. But god damn if the rest of Hard Corps doesn’t outshine these flaws. It’s the high water mark for insane non-stop 16-bit action.

Deltarune (PC, 2018)

Does this count? It’s a demo for a full game that won’t be out for a real long time... I suppose it does, it’s self-contained enough. Deltarune, the free demo for the sort of but also sort of not sequel to Undertale, is unsurprisingly good as hell. Less surprising for sure, as Undertale is a known quantity these days, but I’m still way into it. The story is interesting and full of charming characters, and the battle system has been overhauled to include things like multiple party members with different abilities while still keeping all the things that made Undertale’s battles novel. The music is, of course, fantastic, and the visuals look much nicer while adhering to the same general style as the previous game. It’s fairly short, and some character development feels a little rushed because of it, but again, it’s a small chunk of the beginning of a much larger game. I can’t imagine any of this stuff wouldn’t be expanded upon. It’s hard to judge this thing story-wise due to the nature of it being a demo. I thoroughly enjoyed what is there, though, and look forward to playing the rest of the game in 50 years or whatever.

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate (Nintendo Switch, 2018)

This game is so much. Even though the first thing I learned about this game was “everyone is here”, I still wasn’t ready for how much it is. Super Smash Bros. Ultimate is maybe too much. Of course, as previously stated, everyone (meaning every single previous playable Smash Bros. character) is here. Most of the previous stages are also present. This was all known. Where the game really, truly goes overboard though is in the single-player content. There’s the usual classic mode for every character, this time specifically structured around a theme for each character, but the vast majority of it is actually comprised of the all-new spirits system. Spirits are non-playable video game characters that you can collect and equip to your fighters for special abilities, sort of like a less terrible version of Smash Bros. Brawl’s stickers. You collect these spirits through spirit battles, which are fights themed around the character the spirit represents via extremely clever usage of already existing fighters and mechanics. These battles range from the obvious (Big the Cat’s battle tasks you with fighting a giant purple Incineroar), to the obscure (fight the main characters from Zangeki no Reginleiv as represented by Link and female Robin while you’re giant-sized), to the creative (Porygon’s spirit puts you in a fight against wireframe Little Mac and Akira from Virtua Fighter, normally an assist trophy), to the downright in-jokey (the spirit of Ness’s Father, displayed as the telephone spirte from Earthbound, makes you fight an invisible Solid Snake). There are like 1200 spirits. The vast majority of them have an associated battle. And you don’t just experience these battles through a menu, at least half of them are implemented into the 30 hour long adventure mode, World of Light, which has you fighting spirits, navigating dungeons, and facing bosses. It’s insane. They focused on spirits in lieu of collectible trophies this time around and they absolutely made the correct choice. The trophies in the last two Super Smash Bros. games were fine, but easier access to existing 3D models of most represented characters made them inherently less exciting than Melee’s tailor-made collection of high quality (considering the time period) renders, many of which would never receive a 3D model again. The spirits system manages to be exciting in the same way Melee's trophies were, fostering a genuine sense of anticipation to see what they cooked up next, but in the context of gameplay. They completely knocked it out of the park. Smash 4 made it on one of these lists long ago, and I essentially just said “it’s more Smash Bros. and that’s good”. Smash Ultimate is also more Smash Bros., but it’s SO much more Smash Bros. It’s so much more extremely good Smash Bros. The only things I can ding it for are some totally subjective stage preferences (where the hell is Poké Floats) and some slightly less than optimal music sorting decisions. Super Smash Bros. Ultimate is, ultimately, the ultimate Super Smash Bros.

These games were also cool, I just had less to say about them:

Bloodstained: Curse of the Moon (Nintendo Switch, 2018): Remember Castlevania 3? Inti Creates sure did! This prequel to the still unreleased Koji Igarashi Kickstarter project Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night is an unabashed love letter to Castlevania 3, and it’s pretty good. Mom Hid My Game! (Nintendo Switch, 2017): A charming little game in the style of those old escape the room Flash games. It even looks like one (in the literal sense, not the pejorative). It’s not tough or replayable really, but it is $5 and consistently absurd and surprising. Yakuza 6: The Song of Life (PlayStation 4, 2018): Yakuza 6 is kind of a weird juxtaposition. It’s the final chapter of Kazuma Kiryu’s story, but also the first game to use the Yakuza team’s new Dragon Engine. The story end of things is a good, solid sendoff for a bunch of characters I’m going to miss very dearly, but the gameplay feels very formative and limited in a way that sort of reminds me of Yakuza 1. I had a good time with it overall, but I hope they manage to dial it in like they did with the previous decade of Yakuza games and make something truly excellent again. Looking at you, Judge Eyes. Etrian Odyssey V: Beyond the Myth (Nintendo 3DS, 2017): Etrian Odyssey V is a return to basics for the series, ditching things like overworlds and sub-dungeons and just pitting your party against one big labyrinth. Honestly, gotta say, I miss the stuff they left behind! The core of Etrian Odyssey is still super strong so I had fun regardless, but the overall simplicity of the game and the changes to how classes work had me missing EOIV more often than not. Soundtrack’s great though, as expected. Sonic Mania Plus (Nintendo Switch, 2018): To be completely honest, most of the stuff they added to Sonic Mania in Plus really isn’t that fantastic. Mighty’s spike and projectile immunity is fun, but Ray’s flying is more interesting than effective. Encore mode is largely disappointing, with most of it feeling identical to the base game outside of its all-new (and too hard for their own good) special stages. HOWEVER, Sonic Mania Plus was an exceptional excuse to play through Sonic Mania another six or so times. Congratulations to Sonic Mania for being game of the year for two years in a row. WarioWare Gold (Nintendo 3DS, 2018): A good compilation game, executed much better than in the team’s previous Rhythm Heaven Megamix, but lacking in reasons to come back after you’ve played all the games. There’s the usual toy room stuff WarioWare has had since Touched!, but it’s bogged down by reliance on a currency system and the fact that sooooo many things you unlock are just parts that feed into a larger, not that interesting thing. The part where you play WarioWare is great though, and the new visuals make it all feel fresh even though it’s mostly older games. Mario Tennis Aces (Nintendo Switch, 2018): I had a brief, passionate love affair with Mario Tennis Aces. The core gameplay is rad as hell and more like a fighting game than a tennis game, with multiple different special shots and a focus on meter management. I played like 40+ hours of it between the full game and the demo and never even touched the single player (which makes it technically not count for this list, but, shut up). I got 2nd place at its very first tournament at CEO 2018. Then I... stopped playing. It had some weird balance issues, sure, but I think it was more a victim of circumstance rather than anything else. I moved basically right after CEO and just never went back to it. It’s still incredible though. I hope this game’s systems are the standard for Mario Tennis games going forward.

We made it! Bottom of the list! It was a shorter trip this time, but I’m still proud of you for making it here all the same. Thank you for reading the words I typed about video games. I’m looking to get this web page back into gear in 2019, so you can probably expect part 2 of The Best Babies sometime in January. Hopefully I’ll actually play some video games too so I can bring back Breviews on the first of February. Until then!

[nanyoky]

HAD ONE ON AN EMPTY STOMACH AND NOW TIME FOR THE BIG SHOW

OH god it’s a CHRISTMAS EPISODE. our core four pairs have broken up, fp is about to die and it’s a CHRISTMAS EPISODE

mary booked a singles cruise so i guess they couldn’t get molly ringwald for more eps this season

yay my girl polly’s back for a presumably horrifying dream sequence

That Kubrick-esque centered shot of Hood!santa climbing over the couch back????? *kisses fingers like cartoon italian chef*

Cheryl still EXPECTS her mother to put out jason’s stocking and demands to know what such a tiny candycane is doing in their home because she is still GRIEVING but still SO MUCH . this is what the death of a twin looks like take fuckin note marvel

Also nana rose didn’t die in the fire? so that’s nice.

“86,000″ “what- dollars?” like the hospital in smalltown usa might charge people in pesos or forint- godbless you archie

“Kevin’s secret santa has a 20$ limit” “Kevin needs to chill” no, v, YOU need to chill. or rather don’t. because we love you so much.

“Havent you heard? we’re still friends!” “oh yeah. isnl’t everyone?” i love these girls almost as much as the lund and byerly’s checkout lady who never judges my wednesday night sale sushi runs

fp looks so thin without his jacket and warm vestiges i’m worried about him is he taking his vitamins eating his spinach if he has been surviving on hot pockets and beer since he got out i will be so cross with him

“BOY.” i’m DISTRAUGHT. fp and jughead are living together again and we’re finally getting to see what that looks like and it’s exactly as heartbreaking as we knew it would be

also fp wears his wallet with a stylish chain that goes from his pocket to his beltloop because it’s apparently 2008 in that trailer

“Couples massage.... thanks” “You can go with betty!” audience: YES PLEASE.

also who the fuck would do a couples massage with their highschool boyfriend- veronica lodge that’s who, but who ELSE.

archie didn’t spend any money on his gift and it is obviously the ebst one int he exchange and we love him

MOOSE AND MIDGE ARE HERE TO MAKE THINGS WEIRD FOR KEVIN (HOPEFULLY)

REGGIE *SPRINTS* TO HUG MOOSE AND THE SHIP I DIDN’T KNOW I NEEDED EMERGES

oh dear. mr. svenson. of course i love that betty and co. know the janitor at their school’s name. is that normal? i went to an enormous highschool- i barely knew my teacher’s names half the time. but i imagine it’s very sweet and very betty of her.

oh god jughead came to riverdale high for the gift exchange because he’s a good dude. a good dude.

his little SMILE when he feels how heavy it is is the most boyish he’s looked since the scene where we find out fp is his dad in the drive in episode and I’M NOT OKAY

veronica giving archie an expensive engraved watch is CLASS COMMENTARY and it is very good of archie to try to explain that to her calmly and without accusation or bitterness i don’t know if i would handle it that well cuz fun fact i once accused a guy of making me into Pygmalion because he tried to take me to a restaurant with multiple spoons

jughead wants to help but now sweetpea has replaced joaquin as the unreasonably beautiful surrogate son fp feels more comfortable putting in danger than his own kid help

what is the point of showing cheryl is interested in buying a tree? other than maybe she’s going to spend more than her mom can afford now??? or that she’s back at archie now that josie is weirded out by her possessive obsessive tendencies? not sure what the point of that was

nice reverse zoom/dolly into a dutch angle on this modest janitor house

the parole officer calls him “jughead” that is all

hermione and hiram being deliberately flirty in front of veronica after she and hermione had that talk about loving one’s partner

“Since when are you a communist *deliberate eyeroll at hiram*” i still can’t tell whether season 1!hermione or season 2!hermione is the act and i’m still RIVETED

okay it was to show she’s just spending a bunch of money to piss off penelope who coincidentally, is wearing a WINNER of an outfit rn damn son i have that but like- not as good cuz my black lace sheath is from target

not to take credit away from cheryl’s high quality cherry sweater

“you should have drowned them at birth like a basket of kittens” NANA ROSE. NANA FUCKIN ROSE. COMIN IN HOT FOR THE HOLIDAYS.

i honestly don’t know if it’s ever stated if nana rose is penelope’s mom or clifford’s but judging purely on penelope’s eyeroll and non-verbal expression of “UGG. MOTHERRRRR” i’mma say her’s.

betty pulls her sweater over her hands when approaching her mother because how often did alice tug roughly at young!betty’s clothes to make sure she was PICTURE PERFECT at all times

we all knew that it was going to be a finger right we all knew

and of course she only tells archie because this is betty cooper we’re talking about

“would the sisters talk to us?” “pft- they better” betty’s gunna beat up a nun

also my first assumption is that the janitor’s sin is pointing out the wrong guy to the lynch mob??? could be wrong but it seems kinda odd that archie isn’t bringing up that part of the story

the lodges have the same “christmas classics” cd as my mom because of course they do

the fact that veronica finds the deed to pop’s and doesn’t react in shock or anger but sits back in her dad’s leather office chair and crosses her legs to think things over is CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT

jughead knows fp too well to apologize for thinking badly of him and the duffles and IT HURTS SO GOOD

“maybe this isn’t gunna work- us living together” FP ISN’T A DAD HE’S A BIG BROTHER AND I KEEP SAYING IT BUT IT KEEPS HURTING EVERY TIME IT’S PROVEN TRUE

oh god jughead is calling on the next gen serpents for help this isn’t going to end well, son

“take out penny” take out? TAKE OUT???? TAKE OUT?!?!?! JUGGIE. take a nap.

sweet pea and fangs are either the bestest of bros or engaged to be wedded i can’t decipher their eye communication exactly

the serpents are FACTIONING and this CANNOT end well

“it was a group of men... and one woman” FOUNDING FAMILIES FOUNDING FAMILIES FOUNDING FAMILIES

next gen serpents are going to fuck everything up and i can’t take jughead trying to do an intimidating under the brows stare seriously

we all think that nun is the drug dealer lady in the wheelchair right?

“white with a cherry red stripe” THAT’S MY GIRL. THAT’S MY NANA ROSE. BACK WITH PLOT AND BACKSTORY. BATTING FOR THE TEAM. NANA ROSE BLOSSOM.

“the truth” THE LODGE TRUTH. HOOO BOY. *pours another drink*

OH MY GOD IS HE CUTTING IT OFF JUGHEAD. JUGHEAD. BETTY HAS BEEN A BAD INFLUENCE ON YOU.

i just pictured fp’s face if he saw this and did the most ridiculous puppy whine

“oh noooo. no girls allowed” NANA ROSE BLOSSOM. MY MAIN GIRL.

founding families. what did i say.

hefty sigh at barchie kiss. like- i’d be more into this if they actually built it and didn’t keep breaking up and putting everyone back together back and forth

oh cheryl saw- THAT i’m interested in

they’re not going to tell us the lodge truth because they’re bastards

penny didn’t show up for your pickup, did she?” “no.... no she didn’t.” JUGHEAD IS THE PARENT AND FP IS THE KID AND IT IS HORRIBLE AND PERVERSE AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH

“this life you tried to protect me from? i’m proud of it!” *WHALE NOISES* FP’S FACE. FP’S *FACE*. THIS IS THE LOOSE HENRIAD CRIME FAMILY AU I’VE BEEN HURTING FOR.

oh god there’s one black guy in the picture please don’t tell me our sweet angel pop was involved in this how old is pop he’s not old enough right tell me he had no part in this

*DISTRESS SCREEEEE*

UNMASK HIM BETTY UNMASK HIM ARCHIE IS FINE HE’S A BIG STRONG BOY WHO CAN TAKE A LITTLE DIRT IN HIS FACE

oh god oh god oh god did sheriff keller shoot bh so he can’t talk oh god oh god oh god

this is too easy and we all know it i’m still pulling my multiple killers theory and i haven’t given up on shady!keller yet

weird sound editing trying to give studio quality to josie and kevin just jammin acapella outside a diner

WHO THE FUCK IS PENELOPE SNOGGIN ON XMAS MORN?!?!?!

YASSS JUGHEAD GETS HER A SIGNED FIRST EDITION OF BELOVED WHICH I HAVE BASICALLY BEEN WAITING FOR SINCE BETTY SAID SHE LOVES TONI MORRISON IN EPISODE ONE. well- not exactly this. but that IS one of my alltime favorite books and a huge influence on my own gothic writing so to see it referenced on this show is just GRAND

we all know it’s not over juggie, we all know.

Episode Scorecard:

Number of sick beat drop rhythmic editing moments: none

Episode hair MVP: Nana rose’s stripe was featured as a plot point and is always of the highest quality

Do I still miss Joaquin: yes

Episode outfit MVP: Penelope’s black lace sheath

Cast/Crew shoutout: There were some really solid cinematography moments, but I would have liked to see better editing? pacing was a bit rough.

[uniquesmalltreasures]

Voltron: Legendary Defender season 3

Live-reactions to season 3 of Voltron: I have a bottle of wine and a whole night ahead of me, so let’s do this! <3 Heavy spoilers, meta thoughts and a lot of caps lock under the cut!</p>

1. „Changing of the guard”

I am very much in love with how everyone is behaving (look at Lance and Hunk being awesome, look at the Blade of Marmora finally helping, look at Allura being a teen: yes, yes, yes!), but I am upset that only Keith is taking Shiro’s disappearance so badly. Like didn’t he have a strong relationship with Pidge…? And she is is only focused on finding Matt…? What about her father? And wasn’t Lance something like his no.1 fan…? This is like a classic example of: what the fuck hero?

Though I am happy to see Lance having friendly moments with everyone: from random alien girls, to Pidge and Hunk and Keith. Let my bby boy have all the love and friendship he deserves. No more 7th wheel bullshit please.

I’m already in love with Lotor and his Generals (the trailer nor the pictures didn’t prepare me for the affection I feel towards them) and I only hope for a sword fight between Lotor and Keith. Also, could the by like half-brothers, maybe? Or cousins? I would like that. Or maybe one of the Generals could be Keith’s mother. I just want a badass Keith-Lotor confrontation. I don’t even care who would win *cough* Lotor *cough*

Also, Lotor would make a fine Paladin. Just saying, with such speeches? Such manipulation skills? With that smile? And… Yeah. Great character there. Yep. Sorry, I will be biased.

ALSO LANCE I LOVE YOU, I KNEW YOU WERE MY FAVORITE, YES YOU ARE. That “hey, listen man” broke me. Jeremy you are such a good VA, that was awesome, my kudos to you. That whole scene was great: from the emotional aspect and how everyone looked at someone else and Lance didn’t, he was just looking ad Keith and thinking what to do and he knew it had to be him and… YES THAT WAS GREAT. LET MY BLUE BABY BE THE GLUE THAT STICKS THEM ALL TOGETHER AND HELPS HIS FRIENDS OUT AND AAAAAAH. I love Lance, okay? I loved that scene as a whole thing: I just feel it should have happened sooner? IDK.

2. “Red Paladin”

I swear to God, my first thought was: They are awesome, I am so gay for that one General, Ezor. She is exactly that batshit crazy friendly type that I’m scared of. Acxa is also great (so loyal <3) and so is Zethrid (I look at her and think of Overwatch’s Zarya). I think that I’m too confused about Narti to have an opinion on her, but I do love her fighting technique. Basically: I love them all. And that is not a good reaction, I think *sobs* Now imagine Voltron as Lotor and his 4 General Ladies. That would be badass. Not really good for the Universe, but badass.<br>

Ahem. This whole taking planets by friendly manipulation business, for me, as a Pole is such a great concept, that it makes me applaud the creators for taking that route. We know from history that this works. We know that in the tie of need the overtaken planets have to ways of behaving and maybe the societies will split because of individual decisions of people. But it is such a nice concept and it does make Lotor an awesome villain. Way better thank Zarkon in my opinion. And way better than his 80’s counterpart, that’s for sure.

Please don’t categorize Lance as a goofball. Please. Think of his self-esteem.

Pidge, you are way too smart for this.

Keith I love you, but don’t be so emo. Also, why didn’t anyone say that either him or Lance or Hunk are the pretty boys of the squad? BECAUSE THEY ARE.

The trying out Black Lion thing was both hilarious and insightful, because yeah: that is exactly what I expected and wanted and yet I couldn’t even try to imagine Pidge having seating problems and I feel you girl, I’m fucking tiny, I laughed my ass off so much, I had tears in my eyes. #short people problems.

ALSO FUCK ME, KEITH IS BEING SUCH A GREAT CHARACTER. LOOK HOW FAR DID HE COME FROM 1st SEASON. YES. Also Steven’s VA is A+ and I am swooning at that “please, no” with a small vibration and lots of pain in his voice and ugh. Such an awesome cast, such a great show.

SO BACK TO OUT BLUE BABY BOY. SOMEONE HUG HIM. AND WE ARE 2 EPISODES IN AND HE IS CONSTANTLY COMFORTING KEITH? THEY’RE HAVING BONDING MOMENTS *I bet Leith fangirls are crazy* YES LET HIM BE SO AWESOME <3 LET HIM BE THE OLDER BROTHER CHARACTER THEY ALL NEED <3<br>

OKAY SCRATCH THAT, SOMEONE HUG ALLURA. JFC, I shouldn’t get so emotional over this, but. Good writing is good.

BLUE, YOU SMART GIRL YOU, WHO IS THE SMARTEST LION? YES YOU ARE! YES YOU ARE! <3 I was wondering how they will solve this Lion shenanigans, I think I really love the solution. That and Lance trying pick-up lines on Blue. That was amazing. What wasn’t so amazing: the other kick to my gut to the line of ‘do you hate me now’. Ugh.<br>

OH LOOK MORE CONFIDENCE ISSUES FOR LANCE. UGH NO. NO NO NO. I HAD ENOUGH OF LANGST. STOP IT.

RED YOU SMART GIRL.

ALLURA YOU SMART GIRL.

I LOVE ALL GIRLS IN THIS SHOW.

Oh look at that. Lotor definitely wants to be a pilot for Black. No wonder he has 4 Generals. SO my idea about badass villain Voltorn is pretty much confirmed by that. *James Oliver voice* cool.

Okay, but I still very much love Blue and Lance together? Like hey, don’t split them up, I know this is temporary, but… I really hate seeing him and Blue split up and Red and Keith split up and… OH HEY A LANLLURA MOMENT <3 (help what is their ship name????)<br>

JFC, SOMEONE RESTRAIN KEITH.

Thank God, all of the episodes are streaming, or I would literally die if I had to wait more than 1 minute after each episode.

3. “The Hunted”

Okay, I need more of this Lance being concerned by his fellow Paladins thing, because it’s doing wonders for my psyche. Also: Hunk is the most adorable Paladin, no questions asked.

Though this whole situation is making me miss Shiro. Not because Keith is hot-headed or that I agree that the Paladins aren’t used to their new lions, it’s because there is no calming but stern presence on the team? I though Allura would bring the calm, while Keith would have the stern part, but really, this right now is as far from ideal as possible. Voltron is a very fast-paced show and here, in situations like this it shows that it is somewhat a flaw – not from a narration standpoint, but from ‘how it should have been handled’ viewpoint: remember how long it took them to train and do the mind-meld? And Allura is completely new to this, unlike Lance and Keith, who at least know the ropes. That – I do not like.

And I fucking love Lotor. Shoutout to RvB fandom: he’s like a sophisticated Felix, don’t you think?  A villain you hate to love or love to hate and just. Ugh. Such a good character, seriously – I had no idea I would enjoy him so much. Especially since the way fandom started describing him just after the teasers with him, made me not really hyped about him. But we got something really great.

Well, at least it proves my point about training. We’re back to the point where Voltron sucks. *back to John Oliver’s voice* cool. I knew it would happen and can’t believe nobody thought it would happen in-universe and just… um. I have really mixed feelings about it. Like, we get character-development in this series and we get in-universe examples of learning on their mistakes… So what is exactly this? What is this episode?

But Keith, baby, you fucked up. And I mean it: if this won’t be addressed and you won’t own to this, if this whole thing will be pointless and will just leave us with ‘oh, better not to be so hot-headed next time, hahaha’, it will seriously piss me off. I already had a moment ‘oh, he got it!’ and then it was crushed in disappointment and. I get it, that’s his character, but. Also it’s not? Trauma aside, he should be smarter than this? Again: what the fuck hero? I mean, oh now, we got a teary admission at everything will be okay again? Please tell me, it won’t end like this.

And once again: let’s take a moment to appreciate Lance. Not only he is the voice of reason and the only one who can get to Keith, he is literally like the leader now. I am so happy.

But the visuals, animation and music are so amazing and beautiful. This has to be the prettiest animated show right now. Seriously: wow.

ALSO ALLURA IMITATING LANCE IS THE BEST THING EVER. OF ALL TIME. YES, I LOVE THIS. PLEASE GIVE ME MORE OF THIS. YES.

Also on a meta level. Does this also mean, that the closest one to Shiro is Keith, the closest to Keith is Lance and the closest to Lance is Allura? If yes, then that is a love-square I am not ready to tackle.

YES FOR ALLURA OWNING LOTOR. YES. “HUNK I’M A LEG!” GOD BLESS THIS SWEET GIRL.

4. “Hole in the Sky”

How come we are not addressing the ‘betrayal’ from the second episode? Oh and look at that: we are not addressing Keith’s fuck-up either, apparently his teary ‘it’s my fault’ was enough. That’s… disappointing. Maybe at least when we get Shiro back and he’ll be all “I knew you could lead Voltron”, Keith would be “Nope, no, not me, I fucked-up, I was the worst, never again.”. Still: meh.

MY FIRST THOUGHT: OH LOOK AU SLAV AND SHIRO.

MY SECOND THOUGHT: HOLY SHIT, WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT.

MY THIRD: IS THAT SVEN?? WELL PLAYED CREATORS, WELL PLAYED.

MY FOURTH THOUGHT: OH LOOK, THE ALTEANS AS THE GARLA AU WE ALL WANTED.

This is much more than I could have expected. Bonus points for Pidge’s dubious glances from time to time at the Alteans. Good stuff, yes.  

Oh look, this time we’re getting an ‘Allura will fuck it up’ moment instead. Like. HELLO? Character development? Learning from mistakes? Isn’t that a thing in Voltron?

SVEN NOOOOOOO AND SAVING LANCE? DOUBLE NOOOOOOOO.

And of course, Slav didn’t figure out that this reality will be screwed. Of course. I’m starting to silently cheer for Lotor. At least the guy has the brains and a plan.

5. “The Journey”

As the credits roll: At this point I’m acknowledging that this season we won’t get any real resolutions, just a lot of team-building and learning how to fuck up in every possible situation.

As the bubbles come out: Oh, mermaids again?

A second later: LSADHGADFLAHSD AS YES. HELLO, MY DEAR. I MISSED YOU. LET ME LOVE YOU. I was not expecting this.

So turns out Shiro with long hair and a stubble doesn’t look as hot as the fanart made me accustomed to… No, wait, I take that back. It’s just that ‘I hadn’t slept for weeks bags under his eyes, which are actually nice when you’re used to liking RvB Agent Washington. Anyway…He still looks good and almost healthy, however, fucked up that sounds. I always wondered how he maintained the same hair all the time while in prison.

OH LOOK A FLASHBACK. OH FUCK. I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT EITHER.

Okay, serious talk though. Where did he get the bandied? How did he start a fire? And can we stop making him suffer? At last? JFC, he needs a thousand hugs, and a lots of love and just happiness? He doesn’t deserve this, any of this. Again A+ voice acting, this time from Josh. That scream gave me shivers going down my spine and I was breathless and wow. That was powerful.

Give Shiro a Break 2017. And Save Shiro 2017. JFC, I teared up at his pained face.

You do not do this kind of things. I have legit tears in my eyes. No, this is not fair.

YES BLACK, GOOD GIRL. OR BOY. YES.

This is already my favorite episode this season. I’m crying.

THEY GOT SHIRO BACK. THANK HEAVENS. Does this mean we will get ponytail!Shiro now? Y/Y?

6. “Trailing a Comet”

I love Lance, I love Keith, but GDI, Keith let Lance have his fun too.

AND SERIOUSLY??? THIS IS IT???? Where are my hugs? We are tears? And happiness? And… IDK, emotions? Why. WHY???

OH FINALLY. NO WAIT. FUCK. I WAS NOT PREPARED. HOW DID HE GET SO NICE? NEW CLOTHES! AND A HAIRCUT. AND A SMILE AND PEP TALK. BUT EMOTIONS????? WHERE ART THOU???

WHY ARE WE GETTING SO MUCH KLANCE MOMENTS THIS SEASON. I AM NOT COMPLAINING, BUT WHY??? NO WAIT, SCRATCH THAT. THIS IS ANOTHER ‘I AM NOT NEEDED AS A PALADIN’ LANCE THING AND I’M OUT. HOLY FUCK. SOMEONE HUG HIM. PLEASE.

I like this thing where we don’t know who the leader is and what is the status-quo. I like that there isn’t anything smoothing up and getting back into position, with Shiro back. I don’t like the fact they don’t talk things out, that they do not communicate with each other and just… I feel like they’re falling apart, which is ironic because they just got back together. I don’t like the fact Black isn’t responding to Shiro. The last thing we need is him getting into the same mindset as Lance, seriously. I mean, yeah it’s all great that Allura is a Paladin that is great for Blue but… what about all the bonds? Is this going to be addressed or not? I feel like a lot of things are not getting addressed while they should be.

OH LOOK LOTOR’S LOVELY GENERALS <3<br>

OH NO. IS THIS A SHIRO WILL FUCK UP MOMENT? Please no. Look at Keith. No, no, no. Oh, this will end badly.

So, is Acxa Keith’s mom? I bet that’s Keith’s mom. That would be juuuuuust perfect. Also my girl Ezor is perfect, yep, she is <3 And I should really stop cheering for them.<br>

…I am getting confused as of ‘which one fucks up moment’ is it. Keith or Shiro’s. Or both? Or like the whole teams? Seriously: WHY? Well, at least you have to admire Lotor. He is fucking amazing.

NO I TAKE THAT BACK: KEITH IS FUCKING AMAZING. YES BABY! YOU DID IT!!!!

YEP SHIRO, YOU DID GOOD TOO. Just don’t get self-esteem issues, I beg you.

7. “The Legend Begins”

The last episode this season and then the wait till October begins. On the plus side: October! Yaaay!. On the minus side:  October! Two fucking months.

If that cute girl Haggar had seen was for example: Allura’s mother. And for example, the person Zarkon loved, I will flip off. Seriously. I was getting used to the idea of Haggar being Lotor’s mother, but if he and Allura are half-siblings, I will be pissed off. It would make sense though, in a way. I think. Oh God, please let it not be true.

…Okay, Zarkon needs to chill. And is that Allura’s mother? SHE LOOKS LIKE HER. ALSO, DID THEY JUST INTRODUCED THE FIRST GAY PALADIN OF VOLTRON??? DID I INTERPRET THAT RIGHT? IS HIS NAME BLADES? NO FUCK IT’S BLAYATZ. I LOVE HIM. IS HE PILOTING BLUE????

OH LOOK, CUTE ALTEAN GIRL. NOT ALLURA’S MOTHER. IN WHOM ZARKON FALLS IN LOVE WITH. OKAY. Zarkon is cute wtf.

Honevra? OMG, she is changing, please tell me it’s not Haggar n the future.

Goodbye Alfor, the Blue Paladin, hello Alfor, the Red Paladin. I am not complaining. Pretty much since Allura’s speech, I thought he had to be the Red Paladin, instead of Blue.

OH LOOK BLAYATZ  IS THE BLUE PALADIN. YES. NOW GIVE ME BISEXUAL LANCE, I NEED TO CONNECT TO HIM MORE. FUCK I LOVE BLUE PALADINS. I WOULD BE A BLUE PALADIN.

“AM I A LEG?” EGDAUDHAKISDUH THIS IS WONDERFUL.  

Okay, this might be my favorite episode this season.

I both understand and already fear Zarkon. Wow. A+ writing on getting me to like him. At least his before!betrayal thing. Blue Paladin is still my fave from this line-up <3<br>

SHE IS HAGGAR, HOLY FUCK. It’s not Zarkon. It was never Zarkon, I did not see this coming. It was her, all along, it was her. Wow. WOW. Also, I really feel sorry for Zarkon now? He… he just fell in love? He wanted his beloved to live and be happy? He got corrupted…? Can we cure him? Like, I did not see that coming. I am actually speechless. And that music in the background was enough to make me tear up. That was… Beautiful.

Also… This brings the ‘power of love’ to a greater, but different meaning.

[thiswillbetheshowwevewaitedfor]

RTX 2017 Highlights for me

Summary: This was the best RTX I’ve ever been to.

THE RWBY PANEL

The 2 RWBY Chibi episodes they showed

THE WEISS TRAILER

The news that there will be 2 more BEFORE Volume 5 and NOT before Volumes 6 and 7.

Also that those trailers won’t all be combat based which has me thinking Blake’s will be her talking with Sun or her parents and her plans to defeat and restore the Black Fang to it’s former less terrorist organization roots. Yang’s could also be an extended scene of her talking with her dad right as she’s about to leave in the Vol 4 finale.

Being a VIP for the first time and getting fantastic seats for every panel and not needed to wait in line for every panel.

Sitting F E E T away from MurderofBirds during the 1st RWBY panel

The official announcement about Pumpkin Pete’s cereal and how insane it is that Rooster Teeth sells food now

The announcement of Wave 2 of the Funko POP-esque RWBY figures (Team JNPR (not out yet) and the Beowolf which was available in the RT Store in the Expo Hall and I TOTALLY got one)

THE GEN:LOCK ANNOUNCEMENT

The other RWBY merch which premiered in the physical RT Store such as the puzzle that’s the image of the Vol 4 poster which I also got

How much I splurged at the Expo Hall

When they introduced metal detectors and a line in order to get into the Expo Hall and a lot of people complained so they ended up moving that whole process into it’s own special room instead mid-con. (And by a lot of people, I mean I heard that a lot of people got mad.) 

 How many new people were there this time

The guy in front of my group who was super negative and constantly complained the entire time we were in line for Pre-Registration (Why tho)

Ok back to the Expo Hall. They had an Artist Alley this year and I found an artist who I think is my aesthetic because I wanted almost E V E R Y T H I N G at their booth. Shoutout to @asunnydisposish I bought 3 Overwatch prints and a Dva plush from her and it’s just all so adorable and gorgeous and just U G H so goood!

I also bought a Flash print from someone else but I couldn’t find out who they were but whoever you are, your art looked great too.

Also shoutout to the Funko POP booth that was there last year but it got bigger this year and I bought like 11 HELP ME

I also splurged at the RT Store because I’m a fiend when it comes to collectables and whatnot

The Red v Blue panel that legit gave me both chills and nightmares from the episode they showed. (I don’t watch RvB but this is the 2nd time I’ve gone to the RvB panel and both times I think I should REALLY watch it)

My brother forced me to go to a signing for James and Elyse which ended in what I predicted being an awkward interaction but not as bad as it could have been so I’ll give myself props for that

Going to the RT Community Reacts panel and seeing my favorite RT YouTubers talking and having fun

The only bad thing about that panel was when Kiaxet keep bringing up the 53 minute reaction video Megan Salinas and her did for an RvB episode for different questions people had and I was like please choose something else

The audible gasp everyone had when MurderofBirds said he was on Season 6 of RvB and everyone in the room being on high alert not to spoil him

Him covering his ears every time everyone else wanted to talk spoilers and at one point he went “This panel is so fun!”

Them talking about their favorite/saddest moments in the RWBY Vol 3 and 4 finales

The Lazer Team 2 panel and the tons of footage they showed. 

That footage being a full length “teaser” trailer, 1 full scene, and 1 1/5 of a scene

Talking about the development and parts of the plot they could talk about for the movie

How HYPE it’s gonna be

Getting clarification about the teaser poster they put out and the new character who I really liked from the footage they showed

The HISHE panel and remembering how fun that panel is

They showed A TON of stuff in that panel

MARIO PARTY SATURDAY

Having never watched a Game Attack video before and having a fantastic time watching the episode they put on while people were waiting and watching them play live. I’m definitely gonna watch a lot of Game Attack videos now

Going to the RTAA panel which was great but not as great as last years which is fine

L O V I N G the discussion during The Future of Comic Book Movies panel and the talk about what’s gonna happen during Infinity War and how it will affect the MCU afterward as far what movies and characters will come into play after and what the mainstream audience will think of having characters they’ve come to love die and potential new characters like Bucky Cap and Iron Patriot as Iron Man. 

Also talking about the mass saturation of superheroes nowadays and when people won’t want superhero movies anymore

Another good point was how much of Justice League will be influenced by the good response from Wonder Woman and how much of an effect it’ll have on Aquaman

Another great point was about how Universal’s Dark Universe probably won’t end up happening

TheOdd1sOut panel and how that was fun but not as fun as it could’ve been

Overall, this was the best RTX I’ve ever been to and I can’t wait to go to the (probable) gen:LOCK panel next year.

[doofcake]

BEST OF 2016

Hello everyone! I've got a list for you. In fact, I've got SEVERAL. Introducing:

Doofcake's Lists of Best of 2016

Let's have a look at what wasn't an absolute disaster in 2016. Starting off with the most important list.

BEST MUSIC

#1   Kero Kero Bonito - Bonito Generation

Released just at the end of October, but I feel like in that short time, it's already my most listened album in 2016. I was pretty excited about Bonito Generation's arrival all the way up to its release and I'm glad that my excitement was justified. Bonito Generation is an incredibly fun album from track 1 to track 12. I'd normally have a hard time picking out my favourite album, but not this year. Bonito Generation is my number 1.

#2   Suiyoubi no Campanella - UMA

I was pretty excited for this album's release and I really love the direction Suiyoubi no Campanella went with it. They make strange music that makes me feel strange. Strangely euphoric. It makes me feel good. I’ve danced to Chupacabra more times than I can count. I love it!

#3   Daruma

Daruma is actually a compilation of sorts, but they released 5 volumes in 2016, Daruma volumes 5 to 9, and I like to think of them as one single collection, since they are all very similar and I always listen to them all together.  Daruma volumes deserve a little special recognition from me. They're beautifully crafted strange loud music.

#4   Quentin Sirjacq - Far Islands and Near Places

The mellow sounds, soothing melodies and overwhelming feeling of beauty and peace. It’s super zen. Everything about this album is right up my alley and I don't think I could ever get tired of it.

#5   PC Music - Vol. 2

Would be incredible if they didn't make this a Spotify and iTunes exclusive. I can't buy it on iTunes! So I'm currently forced to only listen to it on Spotify. Anyway, PC Music is something I can't and don't want to explain. It is its own thing. It has almost spawned its own genre as other artists try to copy their style. It's awesome. Go check it out.

#6   TOYOMU - Imagining "The Life of Pablo"

Fun story with that one. Basically Kanye released his album on a platform that wasn't available in Japan, so this guy TOYOMU, who's a big fan of Kanye, got mad and made this album in a sort of protest. He looked up the samples and the lyrics Kanye had used in each of the songs on the album, and then created his own version of the Life of Pablo album with the same samples and lyrics run through TTS, without ever hearing the original songs. And the result... Well, in my opinion, the result is BETTER than the original album. I love it to bits. From the idea to the result itself, it's a masterpiece.

#7   Perfume - Cosmic Explorer

Yasutaka Nakata sure likes making BANGERS lately. This album is full of it. Sweet happy tunes coupled with loud banger instrumentals is my jam. Getting my body moving while also making me feel happy, euphoric even. Thank you, Yasutaka.

#8   Haywyre - Two Fold pt. 2

This album is COMPLEX. Pretty diverse songs here. Calling it banger would be wrong, although at times it kind of is. It's mostly actually very chill. I mean, one of the songs is basically funk. So it's music that you can dance to and it has a nice beat, but it's not LOUD and all up in your face. It's perfectly good music to just sit back and relax with some drinks.

#9   Charli XCX - Vroom Vroom EP

Produced by SOPHIE, who is one of the most prominent PC Music artists. Silly stupid fun music. I sure do like PC Music and I love SOPHIE so it was pretty obvious I’d love this album. Beep beep!

#10 General Mumble - Pollogamy

I like to think of this as Mumble's "best hits". It certainly includes most of my favourite tracks from him, if you exclude the entire PEGASII +- DOGGE AM album, but that was 2015. I actually reaaaaaaally love Mumble’s Vibe as well, but I wanted to limit the list to one album per artist. Can’t leave it unmentioned though.

Runner ups

David Bowie - Blackstar

The King's Parade - Vagabond

KANYE WEST - The Life of Pablo

Kikagaku Moyo - House in the Tall Grass

FAMM'IN EP

Astrix - He.Art

Overhead, The Albatross - Learning to Growl

Noisia - Outer Edges

There's a whole bunch of other albums from 2016 that I listened to, and I can assure you they were all great, but just didn't have enough of an impact on me for me to give them a shoutout.

But I do want to give a shoutout to a couple of singles from 2016. They're single! They deserve love too!

Harrison Fjord - Approximately 900 Miles - This was almost like me and my friends' summer hit. 

Yunomi & nicamoq - Indoor keinara track maker - It's FUN!

And now I'd also like to have a couple of special mentions for music that wasn't released in 2016, but which I either found out about in 2016 or just listened to a lot in 2016.

Mura Masa - Lovesick Fuck - I'll be honest, I mostly listened to this a lot because it made the LEDs in my PC look cool. But it's a cool song without the LEDs too! 

DNCE - Swaay EP - God damn it's good. It's just good vibes put into music. 

Petit Biscuit - Sunset Lover - I'll be honest, again. I found out about this song through the best video of 3D tits I've ever seen. The editing on that video was stellar. Damn nice chill music too.

Kentaro Shimizu - Shitsuren Restoran - I listened to this song a lot last year and I listened to this song a lot this year. It's timeless.

Alright!! That's enough of music now. That was my favourite music in 2016. Applause *clap clap*

BEST VIDEO GAMES

Best Multiplayer Game of 2016

Competition was rough with Call of Dutys and Battlefields and whatnot all fighting to be the best multiplayer shooter this year, but the crown goes to

OVERWATCH

I don't think there's really any competition here. I know some people don't like it, but MOST people who have tried will probably agree it's the best multiplayer game this year, hands down.

I was incredibly skeptical of this game for a long time. Blizzard making a first person shooter? It's a TF2 clone? Has some MOBA elements in it? Pfft, it'll fail. Then they put out cinematic trailers, which of course aren't any sort of indication how good the game is, but damn the trailers looked gooood. Like straight up Disney. Still thought the game itself will fail. But then the public beta arrived and oh my dear lord, I couldn't stop playing it. It was the most fun I've had in a multiplayer game since GTA Online. Right. Well, the beta ended, and I thought I was burned out and done with it.

BUT OH MY DEAR LORD, I decided to buy the game because everyone else was playing it and now I am always up for a round of Overwatch. It's just, so damn well made. Sometimes incredibly frustrating when a cycle path gets in your way, but other than that, it's just... So damn well made.

Best Singleplayer Game of 2016

2016 was a FANTASTIC year for video games. It really, really was. So it's incredibly hard to pick out a number 1. So I'm going to pick out 3. Not in any order. They're all equally amazingly number 1.

Mirror's Edge Catalyst 

It got a lot of flak for bizarre reasons. Most of the early negative user scores on metacritic were saying it's feminist propaganda, but... how? Why? What That aside, there is of course some criticism that is well deserved. The story isn't super amazing, especially since the beginning of the story is told in comics, sold separately. And a lot of the backstory is kind of hidden in texts and audio logs AND in the original game. So people who aren't hardcore fans of Mirror's Edge like me were probably incredibly confused by just about everything in the story. But Mirror's Edge Catalyst SHINES in the areas where I want it to shine. I don't play Mirror's Edge for the story. I play it for the gameplay and the setting. And both of those are huuuuuugely improved from the first game. The running feels a lot faster now, your movement has a lot more impact to it and you can get through enemies without fighting or just knocking them out in the middle of running, without having to slow down. The world building is a lot more fleshed out, they did a lot of work with the backstory. And the world is full of huge electronic screens and neon lights, with a lot of grimy areas. Visually, it's almost my dream cyberpunk world.

Gravity Rush Remastered

This game came out on the Vita already in 2012, but I didn't get to play it until the remastered PS4 version came out and I finally got around to buying it. I didn't know much about this game when I went into it. Just that you control gravity as the name implies and that people on the internet wouldn't shut up about how everyone needs to get it for the PS4. Well, those people on the Internet were right. That game ended up being incredible. It was a bit difficult to get into at first, especially once the skill upgrade screens popped up and the map filled with dozens of "challenge missions" that you seemingly had to undertake in order to get those upgrades. And if you know me, you probably know I absolutely HATE RPGs mainly because of the very same overwhelming skill screens. But I ended up only doing one of the challenge missions just to try it out and the skills were very straightforward and in a fairly small number, so it wasn't overwhelming at all! The gameplay was incredibly fun. You control gravity, but only in a very small radius so the gravity shifts only affect you. And you use this ability for traversal and combat. Already the idea sounds fun! And the execution was well done. Although quite a few times I did get a bit disoriented, but that's to be expected and the game had clever visual cues to help you understand which way is up. All of that exciting gameplay coupled with an imaginative world and a superb story made this game an incredible experience. BUT! The story leaves a LOT of things unanswered and sort of ends on a cliffhanger. I don't really like it when games do that, since you never know whether there will even be a next game, but thankfully in this case, Gravity Rush 2 exists and is already coming out right at the beginning of 2017, and I can't wait to dive into that world and gameplay again. When I said Gravity Rush was difficult to get into at first, then after a short while, I could no longer stop.

Titanfall 2

Perhaps the biggest surprise to me and I'm sure many others. I played the original Titanfall only in the beta and it didn't leave me much of an impression, so I didn't even bother buying it. When Titanfall 2 was announced, I didn't care for it much, but the mention of a singleplayer campaign piqued my interest. The idea of a Call of Duty-esque singleplayer campaign with giant mechs sounded pretty neat, but only so-so. The huge amount of praise this game got, especially for its singleplayer, made me jump on board to see what it's all about and... Once again, those people on the internet were right. This campaign wasn't Call of Duty-esque at all. It was better. Way better. Everything was perfect. The story has you form a friendship with a giant war machine. The gameplay is full of really fun and awesome feeling traversal and offers various methods of approaching your enemies. It has BOSS FIGHTS! I LOVE a good boss fight, which has become awfully missing from first person shooters. And Titanfall 2 had a boss fight every half an hour. Even featuring that sweet camera zoom on the bosses like in Borderlands. The titans all have their own set of abilities and you can choose a set to use at any time as well. Each one providing completely different gameplay. It's kind of like Overwatch. Yeah, actually it's totally like Overwatch. Each titan setup even has its own ultimate ability that you need to charge up. Fighting against soldiers on the ground felt like just fighting creeps in a MOBA, coming up against enemy titans is where the real fun started. The only problems I have with Titanfall 2 is that the campaign only took me 4 hours to beat, which may actually be a good thing, you don't want to drag out the game to the point where it turns from amazing to a snoozefest. And the other problem is that the game has poor sales, because not only did the game come out at the same time as two major shooter franchises, but the marketing efforts were also focused on EA's other game, so people don't even know much about Titanfall 2 to think to choose it over the other games.

And that's all the awards I have for video games! Though I should give a very honourable mention to the new Doom. This game does things very, very right. The only thing I don't like about it from the little I've played is the huge focus on animated melee finishers. The reason I can't really say much more about the game is because I simply haven't been able to purchase it yet. Not necessarily because I can't, but because I want to get a new graphics card first, so I can enjoy its glory with the best visuals and highest framerate.

BEST TV SERIES

Orange is the New Black

Took me completely by surprise. It’s a series about women in prison and I can’t stop watching. Each individual character’s story is so intriguing and has me cheering or jeering on non-stop. It makes me feel frustrated.

BEST ANIME

South Park

It's South Park.

Member when South Park was just ass jokes and swearing kids and Kenny getting killed every episode? I member. But I like this new South Park a lot more. Actually, I don't know if that's really fair to say. It's so different, you can't even compare it with the old South Park. They're both great. But man the last 2 seasons have been amazing.

Jokes aside. My favourite actual Japanese ani-may was probably 

91 Days

It was slow to start, but when it picked up, it gave me a cliche riddled mafia story, which... was a good thing. For one I'd never seen something like that done in anime and the story, although full of cliches, was still original and exciting enough to have me hooked. And the way it ended took me completely by surprise. And that was also in a good way. One of the few anime series in 2016 that didn't end with "oh shit we have to end the series somehow, let's just stop trying and let the writer smack his head into the keyboard, see what happens"

BEST MOVIE

Sigh...

Bad year for movies. Prettttty bad year for movies. Most of the time I saw the cinema banners full of supehero crap and they all got really high scores too. It's been that way for quite a few years now. Don't people get tired of superhero stuff already? And that fad doesn't seem to stop any time soon.

EDIT: Originally, I named Zootopia my favourite movie of 2016 and also complained about remakes and reboots that were just pure fan pandering like those superhero movies. But I’ve changed my decision now.

The best movie of 2016 BY FAR is

Kubo and the Two Strings

The best movies, music and video games always hide behind all the popular stuff it seems. I had heard nothing about Kubo and the Two Strings up to its release and even when it was in cinemas I only knew of its existence thanks to looking up what’s currently running. What took my interest was a video on YouTube showing a little bit of the “making of” process of the film, which made me realise it’s a stop-motion film! Needless to say, I really wanted to see it. It’s pretty rare to see a stop-motion film these days.

The story is about a boy, Kubo, whose eye was stolen by his grandfather, so Kubo’s mother escaped to save him and they’ve been hiding ever since. Kubo goes out to the nearby village every day with his shamisen and magic to manipulate paper into moving origami characters, to tell stories of his father who was a mighty samurai fighting the evil Moon King. Of course, Kubo’s story doesn’t stay there, as his grandfather finds him and he has to escape once again. That’s where Kubo’s journey begins.

That journey was breathtaking. When I began watching the movie in the comfort of my seat, I thought I’d go and lie down on my bed to watch it, perhaps try and have a nap while I’m at it. But I couldn’t get out of my seat. The story had me so captivated that I couldn’t even bring myself to pause it to grab a snack. The story coupled with flawless stop-motion animation, which was done so well that most of the time you couldn’t really tell it was stop-motion, made the whole film experience magical. And it made me tear up numerous times, dealing the final blow with the ending and catching me in tears. Happy tears. Truly happy tears.

I wish more films were as imaginative and beautiful as Kubo and the Two Strings is. I’m sad that the film got seemingly very little attention, but I’m glad I decided to dive into it.

And I guess that's it! Thanks for reading!

Have a lovely 2017!