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charles-leclerizz · 4 months

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🏎️ ๋࣭ ⭑Collecting shells

🏁 Pairings : Carlos Sainz X fem! Reader

🏁 Warnings : none! just fluffy times

🏁 Word Count : 4.4k words (4422 words)

🏁 Author's note : Ahaha, another one, this one is very self indulgent and I love it so much. Make sure to lilke and reblog (anything is appreciated, but comments and reblogs fuel this sad little writer). The word dividers this time are also from @plum98! Once again, all translations are available at the end, via our beloved radio comm! <3

🏁 Music player : Sofia by Alvaro Soler

“You look so pretty, hermosa!” Carlos exclaims, rushing up to the car from which you and a few of your friends were exiting, each of them parrying off to their respective boyfriends.

Kika to Pierre, who reached forward to grab her hand and kiss her knuckles, Alexandra to Charles, who wrapped his arms around her waist, lazily swaying the pair back and forth on their heels as they engaged in hushed, intimate conversation, Lily to Alex, who giggled like a small child as he saw her large sunhat almost fly off, courtesy of both the strong, yet pleasant ocean breeze and her own fast pace.

Finally, you and Carlos, who smiled fondly at your clumsy movements that caused your thin, cotton cover-up to slink up from your knees towards the tops of your thighs, before floating back down, “Carlito!” You bound up to him, jumping into his waiting arms and wrap your legs around his torso, tangling your limbs around his neck and underneath his unbuttoned shirt.

His laugh rumbles through his chest jovially, causing you to pick your head off his tanned shoulder to look him in his eyes, “Te ríes ahora, pero espera hasta que esto termine.” You tease him, bumping your noses together as his eyebrows raise at you albeit broken, yet improved Spanish, “Now, who said anything about you stopping your koala tendencies? I for one don’t mind,” He holds your waist tighter against his lower abdomen, keeping you fixed in pace with merely one arm as he bends down to collect the tweed beach bag that you had dropped in your pursuit of his embrace, before kissing you on the cheek and letting you down back onto the concrete parking space.

“Bro literally was about to drown me in the ocean,” Alex whispers to Lily, whilst pointing at the lovestruck Carlos who stood Infront of him. To prove his point, he removes his hat and shakes his salty hair, spraying the water all over his girlfriends’ bikini top as she shrieks airily, “Alex!”

“What, it’s true? I would’ve been the next finding Nemo if not for her arriving,” Alex jerks his head towards you as you intertwine your hand with Carlos’, who looks proud of his previous actions.

“I’m sure that you would have been a delicious fish,” Pierre walks over to Alex, who is tucking his wet, mop-like hair back underneath his hat. Kika snorts at the comments before she covers her mouth.

“Guys, can we please get a move on?” Charles complains, “the water looks great for some scuba diving right now,” Alexandra pats his shoulder supportively, albeit hesitant to join her companion on his sea adventures.

“Woah, hold on-“ You stop the bickering that had ensued between the men, arguing that they would not hurry up, for they did not want to plunge themselves into the bottomless pit that was the ocean.

“Nobody said shit, about scuba diving.” You clap your hands excitedly, much to Carlos’ disdain.

“Oh no, you are not doing it again- remember last time?” He reminds you, eyebrows furrowing as his full lips set into a thin, worry-stricken line.

“Last time was a freak accident!” You croon, moving your hand up from his wrist to his bicep as you jump in your spot.

Pierre snorts, “An accident? You didn’t surface for almost an hour and a half! We thought that the sharks had adopted you.”

“I would have made a great shark baby,” You huff, crossing your arms childishly and shutting your eyes tight in retaliation.

Though soon, you let up your act after hearing Alex badly whisper to the group, “The sharks would’ve been scared of her,”

“Fine, but nobody can stop me from taking home a turtle,” You stick your tongue out at the group, who look at you with amusement, for you had done this once. Taking home a live souvenir, that was not very happy to be in your innocent captivity.

“Si Hermosa, we will all let you bring back a turtle,” Carlos runs a placating hand through your hair, his fingers separating the smooth strands as you lean your head against his arm.

“Okay, less talking, more walking, please!” Kika dashes forward, stopping at the crooked wooden steps that lead to a quiet sector of the Amalfi coastline. She swoops her hands dramatically, ushering the group down towards the glistening sand and cycadellic water.

Carlos hums as the rest of your friends continue down in pairs, each of them engrossed in their own conversation, some more animated than the rest.

He leans down to press a kiss to your shoulder, allowing you to use his arm as an anchor as you attempt to hobble down the steps safely, not quite in the mood for concussion yet, you remind yourself.

“Isn’t it sweet that they planned this for our 4-year anniversary?” You sighed happily, grateful for your best friends’ actions.

It was a simple invite, since both you and Carlos grew tired of the same romantic candlelight dinners that could easily be procured at any moment, your friends had roped their significant others in an elaborate scheme to make this anniversary the best one yet.

“Sí, very sweet of them,” He squinted his eyes he kept his watchful gaze on the backs of his companion’s heads, snorting as all of them slowly begun to realise who steep the stairs really were, “Take my hand, Hermosa, I don’t want your falling,”

“Thank you Carlito,” You accepted his hand graciously, “But don’t you know that I’ve already fallen for you.” You deliver the cheesy pickup line with an equally grating wink and smirk, your cringe-worthy efforts are rewarded when Carlos blushes a ripe pink and clears his throat, “I would hope so, we’ve already been together for 4 years.”

“Ah shit!” Pierre shouts out horrendously just before a loud thud makes its way behind the group towards your ears.

“Pierre- fuck!” Soon Lily’s voice is also heard as another thump echoes from the wooden steps, and one by one, the entire group has tripped over each other’s missteps, leaving just you and Carlos, still hand in hand watching their demise.

“Are you guys alright?” Carlos leans forward to catch a glimpse of Kika, who’s head had made alarming contact with Alex’s shoulder. He confirms your position, making you promise not to move from your place before he travels further down towards the human dog pile of your friends.

“I hope nothing is broken,” You call out, cupping your hands over your mouth, you lean side to side, dodging your boyfriend’s bobbing body, trying to get a proper understanding of the position that they are in, “Guys, this is perfect orgy position. Honest to God,” You frame the mess with your hands, before cackling at each of their unimpressed faces.

“I just hope that my own dick is still attached,” Alex groans, instantly doubling over as he got to his feet, staring dirtily at Charles, who sheepishly apologised as he too bent down to help his girlfriend as she attempted to fix her hair and check her body for odd bruises.

“I thought we agreed no dick talk?” Kika reminded the man, reaching underneath her cover-up to throw away the sand that had collected in her swimsuit.

“I’ll be lucky if there is a dick to talk about,” Alex whines, standing straighter on the balls of his feet and stretching out his back.

“We’re almost their guys, just ignore the bruises,” Lily reminds them, beginning to continue the shorter descent down towards the promisingly bright, aquamarine sea.

Carlos hums in approval, checking everyone again before bouncing back up the staircase to your side once again, “Only a few more steps to go, Monada.” He assures you, keeping your elbow in a tight grip.

“I hope so, I just got my nails done,” You shakily exclaim, taking your boyfriends’ arm in your hand, “Why did you ask me to get them done anyway?”

“No reason, Monada,” He kisses your cheek, helping you climb down from the last step to sink your feet into the soft, inviting sand, “But they are pretty.” He examines your fingers closely, grinning happily at the navy blue, glossy coating that covers them. You shrug, content with his answer.

The afternoon sun has just peaked, gracing your group with its warm, yet harsh sun rays and many of you lay to bask in its luminescence. Well, some of you.

The boys had decided early on that they would spend most of the time in the water, whilst you and your girlfriends had opted to bask in the vitamin D overload, gushing about the easy tan that would appear. Though soon enough, one of the boys had escaped from the cool water, your Carlos.

He was the first to break away from his friends, paddling as much as he could to the coast, until the water could barely reach the middle of his chest and his feet hit the seabed, which is when he stood to his full height.

The sun beams reflected advantageously from the small, crystalline water droplets that fell from his skin and thanks to the force of gravity and weight of water, his swimming trunks had lowered enough that the defined V that started from his hips was exposed. He reached up, squinting against the blinding glow of the sand, to push his dripping, umber hair off his forehead.

Kika nudged in your ribs, causing you to gasp and slap you palm over the sharp pain that momentarily blossomed on your skin, “Kika!” You whine, annoyed at the interruption of your approaching nap. You maintain your tummy-down position merely twisting your face to look up at your friend from your spot on your striped cream and indigo beach towel.

You wait impatiently for her reasoning for how she could possibly justify waking you up from your sun-blessed haze, but instead, you watch as she pushes her ray-bans down her nose as she bites her lip and giggles whilst pointing at shore.

“What?” You enunciate while you push your upper body away from the ground, turning your neck uncomfortably to scan the sea, to understand why a rosy blush had graced Kika’s features, one that was not a painful sunburn.

“Stop lusting over my boyfriend,” You chuckle at her, weaponizing your book that lay peaking out of your crochet Prada Milano beach bag, hurling it at her arm.

“I’m not lusting,” She defends, laying back down on her own towel, flicking her sunglasses back onto her face, “I’m appreciating, I have my own European to lust over, thank you very much,” She pouts at the lack of companion at her side, slipping her headphones back over her ears.

“Yeah- tell the bit of drool on your face that”, you hesitantly dart your hand out from under the protective shade of your umbrella, retrieving your novel from her area, before sitting up facing the rising tide that playfully crawled up the sand, leaving its damp residue in the surface before retreating again. Your eyes rested on Carlos, who was smiling lopsidedly at your blushing face as he jogged the rest of the way up to you. Laying back, you support your upper body with your forearms as you slide on of your legs higher, bending your knee before oscillating it back and forth teasingly.

“Estás mirando, nena” Carlos grins cheekily whilst pulling up his swimming trunks, re-tying off the loosened drawstrings, he crouches down to plant a salty kiss on your lips before reaching behind you towards his own bag, extracting a towel to catch the rogue water droplets that fell from his body.

“¿Puedes culparme? Tú y tu cintura de cachonda.” Taking his hand in yours before pressing your lips against his skin before rubbing absent-mindedly on the back of his thumb with your own.

He laughed at your response, “Your Spanish is getting good bebe,” he complimented, grunting silently as he came lay down next to you and placea your head on his shoulder.

“Thank you,” You hummed, circling into his cool embrace by looping your hands around his neck and tangling your legs with his. He hums distractedly, slipping his fingers beneath the straps of your bikini top, fiddling with the flimsy material between his fingertips, you gasp at his teasing touches, biting down gently on the muscle that lay innnocently in front of your mouth, ripe for the attack.

You pull away from the nook between his arm and face to look at him, “¿Qué estás haciendo? Hm?” You push the floppy strands off his hair back from his eyes, bumping your nose with his. His lips jutted out as he slipped his head back into the crook of your neck, hand still confined in the straps of your swimsuit as he ghosted his fingers along your spine, snickering at the shiver that runs along your back.

“Nada, ¿qué te hace pensar que estoy haciendo algo?” His tongue darts out to lick at the sensitive skin behind your ear, “I like this set, when did you get it?” His other hand encircles your waist, brushing against the underside of your thigh, causing small goosebumps to rise in his wake.

“It’s new, got it just for today.” You hummed happily, scratching your freshly manicured nails down his sun-kissed back.

Carlos squeezes you tighter, yawning quietly as he leaves barely any space between the two of you, “Sleepy?” You ask, still petting his hair as you too became overcome with tranquillity. He nods his head in your embrace, merely nuzzling further into you, “Okay,” you confirm, allowing yourself to go limp with exhaustion in his arms.

“Fuck me, they’re cute,” You hear someone hissing in the back of your mind as you blink your eyes rapidly.

“Shut up Alex- you might wake them,” The voices become louder as you come to, yawning and attempting to stretch, you notice how Carlos is still sound asleep in your arms as small puffs of air escape his mouth.

A camera shutter goes off in the background, causing someone else from above you to yelp in surprise.

“Guys?” You croak, rubbing your eyes sleepily, “What are you doing,” You whisper, rolling over slightly to look at the half of the group that appeared in your field of sight.

“Nothing, nothing,” Charles assured you, shooting a warning glare at Alex and Pierre, who were snickering to themselves as they looked down at the polaroid camera in their hands.

“Okay,” you succumb to blissful unawareness, turning your attention back to your boyfriend who also began to stir out of his rest, “mi amor,” You murmur in his ear. He groans, keeping one hand planted on your waist as he turned away from you, allowing you to take in the entire scene of you friends standing above you.

Alex and Charles were whispering to one another as he fiddled with her hand unknowingly rotating the ring on her finger . Whilst Pierre, Alex, Lily and Kika were giggling with each other, Kika hanging off Pierre’s arm and Lily leaning her waist against Alex.

“What’s the time?” Carlos grumbled, sleep still riddled in his voice as he sat up straight, reaching for his water bottle as you tapped your phone screen.

“It hasn’t been long-“ You assure him, “It’s only 4pm,” You look up to the group, who have since came to sit around you and Carlos, in a lop-sided circle.

“What do you guys want to do now?” Alexandra asks, adjusting the sleeve of her crochet cover-up. Charles helps her and kisses the crown of her head.

“I know a whole pier street full of restaurants on the more popular side of the beach, we could go there?” Carlos offers, already starting to pack up his items in his bag whilst removing a pair of white shorts and a linen, long sleeve shirt.

“Sound good,” Lily hums, resting her head on Alex’s shoulder.

“Carlos-“ Pierre calls out, handing your boyfriend a small stack of polaroid pictures, who flips through the pictures curiously as a slow smile stretches across his face. He leans closer to you, showing you the photos of both you and Carlos entangled together, sound asleep.

The pictures are almost identical, with small changes in position from either him or you, with one his hands slipped beneath the sleeve of your bikini and the other resting on the curve of your back, whilst you had your arms wrapped around his neck protectively as you head rested on his arm.

“This has to be illegal in some way?” You comment, looking up and Kika and Pierre, who merely shrug in response, “Thank you guys, it’s a nice way of remembering our fourth anniversary.”

“What?” Charles exclaims, his green eyes wide with surprise.

“Our anniversary Charles?” Carlos arches his eyebrow at his friend, “I was telling you just yesterday!”

“Did anyone know?” You ask the group, only to be met with their confused expressions, except for Lily who nodded her head.

“I did, that’s why I suggested coming to Italy, to Alex,” She offers, looking accusatory at her boyfriend, who scratched the back of his head.

“I thought you just wanted to go to the beach with everyone.” He defends himself, holding his palms up with innocence.

“I literally bought them a gift when we went on holiday?” She says, surprised at her boyfriend’s air-headed-ness.

“You did?” You cooed, smiling happily and scrunching your nose at her consideration.

“Yeah, it’s a jar of heart shells, the ones that are native to the indo-pacific region,” She explain, reaching into her own bag and retrieving the large jar in question. In which almost 3 dozen shells sat, all of them varying sizes and colours with intricate designs, yet one similarity, was their unique heart shape.

“Heart cockles?” Kika speaks up, her interest piqued at the stunning shells that you and Carlos were still ogling at, “That’s so thoughtful Lily,” She praises her friend who just smiles bashfully and brushes of the rest of compliments she received from the group, saying that it was no biggie and that when she saw the gift, she knew it was perfect for the pair of you.

“They represent the saying ‘Cockle of my heart’ that means ‘to warm and gratify one's deepest feelings.” Pierre read out the meaning from his phone, looking at the shells once more, “They are perfect for you guys.” He notes.

“Thank you, Lily,” You say, tears springing to your eyes as you lean forward to capture her in a hug, “They’re amazing,”

“Don’t cry!” She exclaims, laughing, “It was really nothing,”

You sniffled, capturing Carlos’ hand in yours as you plant a kiss to his cheek, “I have a gift as well,” He whispers in your ear, cupping your cheek with his large palm.

“What?” You ask, curious at his impromptu gift.

“Close your eyes,” He orders you, holding your hands in his whilst rubbing the tops of you knuckles with his thumbs.

Your breath hitches as your eyes flutter shut, he flips your palm upwards, and the warmth of his hands leaves yours.

It takes all too long for the warmth to return, and when it does, a velvet box is also dropped into your hands.

“Carlos?” You whisper, lungs stuttering as your brain registers the only possibility of what was in the box, “Carlos- you’re not serious.” Your voice wobbles as you hear a few gasps titter around you after the box had snapped open and you felt Carlos’ fingers on your face.

“Abre los ojos, mi amor” he says, still caressing your cheek.

A strangled gasp leaves your mouth as you look down at the ring that sat nestled in the velvet box currently cradled in Carlos’ left hand, which was wrapped by yours.

It was truly magnificent, a thin gold band with eight cut diamonds, four on one side and four on the other side, positioned in a way to mimic leaves on a vine. And in the centre, as if it were a freshly blossomed rose, a large sapphire sat, deep set in the golden furnishings, the large Jem shimmered and shone in the sunset with a navy-blue hue.

“You’re shitting me right now Carlos, If this you-“

“Al menos déjame decir el discurso.” He interrupts your babbling as he smiles at your teary eyes and red nose.

“My love, today marks the fourth year since we had started dating, I still remember in vividly, not that you would let me forget.” His throat goes dry in the middle of his sentence, and you rub his arm comfortingly, coaxing him to continue, “It was probably the best day of my life, except for the day when I first saw you,”

Your eyes widened, “What?”

“I saw you first when we were exiting a restaurant in Monaco, it was late, and I was slightly tipsy,” He chuckles to himself, “And you were walking by the car that Charles was trying to stuff me into, you looked at me and laughed when Charles accidently rammed my head into the door. Estúpido Bastardo. It was love at first sight. I told him as well,” Carlos looks to his best friend, who was laughing quietly at the memory, “after you had offered us a bandaid from your small clutch and walked away into the resturant, I told him that ‘Charles, I just saw my future wife!’, he thought I was probably drunk out of my mind.”

He looks at you hopefully, tears beading on his long eyelashes, “I have been happily drunk in love with you since then and for the past 4 years, I hope you’ll let me make it last for eternity?” He finishes, eyes glimmering hopefully.

You cup your hands over your mouth, muffling your ecstatic sobs, you nod, sniffling obnoxiously, “Sí, sí, estaré borracho enamorado de ti para siempre.” You throw your arms around him, holding him close. He laughs jovially, wrapping his hands around your waist as he stands up, twirling you in the air before bringing you down, staring into your eyes like you had just hung the moon and stars.

“Te amo mucho” He whispers, inching his lips closer to yours until he could feel your breath against his.

“te quiero más” You murmur back, staring at him from below your eyelashes as you press your lips against his, pouring your love and devotion into your actions as you looped your arms around his neck. Deepening the kiss, you squeal against his mouth when you feel him dip you down, as though you two were in a movie and this was finally your happy ending.

Pulling away, he rested his forehead against yours as he slipped the expensive piece on your finger, a permanent grin etched into his face. Youo cup his face, peppering kisses all across his cheeks, his nose and forehead. Pulling away, you exclaim joyously to your friends, “Today marks the first day of me being Mrs. Sainz!” They clap loudly, some of them whisting as Carlos lifted your conjoined hands up victoriously and kissed you again.

Epilogue :

You and the rest of your friends had stopped momentarily at the BnB that you were renting at Sorento, to change before dinner. Meaning that the boys had cleaned up in mere moments, quickly stepping into and out of the shower, whereas the girls and you and spent over 40 minutes carefully shampooing, blow-drying, moisutrising, painting and dressing yourselves. All while gossiping with one another about the “ultra-romantic speech” that Carlos had said, as Kika liked to describe.

“I had no idea he remembered that” You murmured, pulling at the maxi dress from your bust. The dress reached your ankles as the skirt puffed out mystically and the corset top hugged your torso sweetly, all of this being held up by two thick pieces of fabric hanging on your shoulders, tied in large bows as well as the creamy base with light blue hydrangea’s decorating the entire body and straps daintily. It matched you ring quite nicely, as Alexandra had pointed out.

“I just hope that any one of our boyfriends remember such small details,” Lily remarks, smoothing out the long, black dress that hung from her waist, “I��m not holding out hope though,” She sighs, tilting her head as she watched you attempting to tighten the corset laces on your back.

“You shouldn’t worry, Alex loves you enough to remember this kind of stuff,” You assure her, laying a hand on your tummy as new butterflies erupt in your stomach as the realisation of the ring that sat on your hand slowly sets in, you blame it on Lily, who was tightening the corset top.

She looks at you in the long mirror, confirming the pressure before tying it off in a neat bow with your confirmation.

“Thanks,” She looks at you, grinning at your blissful flush and shimmering cheek bones, “I am so happy for you,” She coos and takes your hands in hers, “Just remember that I was the only one who remembered a gift.” She winks at you, kissing your cheek, before stepping around to adjust her mascara in the mirror.

Soon enough, a hesitant rap of knuckles on the door pauses the final movements of the girls, who were almost ready to leave. You walk up to the dark oak door, opening it slightly to be met with your boyf- nay, fiancé, who was looking down at his phone, scrolling through emails until you cleared your throat.

He looked up suddenly, smiling at you warmly, “You guys almost ready, amado?”

You nod your head, biting your lip as you lay your head against the edge of the door, staring deeply into his hazelnut eyes that softened with each second that they remained enraptured with yours, “Yeah, yeah we’re almost done,”

“Okay,” He laughed quietly, taking your hand in his as he leant down to kiss your lips, though you remembered the glossy artwork that lay, perfectly on your skin and so, you pulled away in the last second. Carlos grunted, falling forward slightly at your rejection, he looked at you, betrayed.

“My lipstick,” You offered, pointing at your lips as an explanation.

He rolled his eyes playfully, quickly pecking your lips, “Be quick.” Carlos reminded you, squeezing your hand and rubbing the large sapphire on your ring before he turned away, walking to the living room in which Pierre, Alex and Charles waited.

You let out a breath as you watched him retreat, but was soon snapped out of the romantic stupor when you heard Pierre screech, “Wait, so you didn’t know that he would propose, and you didn’t remember their anniversary?”

“No, I’m serious. Did you guys know?” Alex exclaimed.

Charles guffawed at his fellow driver “Yes!”

Pierre squawked “Yes!”

“Well obviously,” Carlos chimed in.

“That’s why we didn’t give them a gift?” Charles explained, “And Lily literally told Carlos about her’s?”

“Well shit! So you guys were acting? At the beach?” Alex shouted.

"Could you not, tell? Literally Alexandra and Charles wouldn't shut up about it, I was worried that she would hear." You heard the almost metallic sound of Pierre smacking the underside of Alex's head.

“It’s okay Alex, just remember to be more aware when it comes to your relationship.” You could hear the teasing smile in Carlos’ voice.

“Shut up you Spanish simp.” Alex pouted.

“Hey! I’m an engaged simp, unlike you.”

📻 Kcccchh.... come in.... come in...translatiion available...over

📻 Kchh...Spnish..to engli..sh....over

Hermosa - Beautiful Te ríes ahora, pero espera hasta que esto termine - You laugh now, but wait until this is over Monada - cutie Estás mirando, nena - You're looking, baby ¿Puedes culparme? Tú y tu cintura de cachonda. - Can you blame me? You and your slutty waist. ¿Qué estás haciendo? - What are you doing? Nada, ¿qué te hace pensar que estoy haciendo algo? - Nothing, what makes you think I'm doing anything? mi amor - My love Abre los ojos, mi amor - Open your eyes, my love Al menos déjame decir el discurso - At least let me say the speech Estúpido Bastardo - Stupid bastard Sí, sí, estaré borracho enamorado de ti para siempre. - Yes, yes, I will be drunk in love with you forever. te quiero más - I love you more Te amo mucho - I love you a lot amado - Beloved

📻 Kchhhhh.loosing sign....al.....kcchh....over and out...

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macroglossus · 1 year

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one thing about hannibal and will that i always think about and which isnt addressed in fan content a lot (that i've seen) is that they just like each other! yes they're awful and manipulative to each other and yes they have this weird sort of planetary gravity that infects their interactions and they (or will, mostly, because by the time hannibal turns himself in for will it's pretty clear that's he's accepted it) resent that they can't leave each other's orbit. but they also like each other a lot! they're used to being the smartest one in the room (even though will is antisocial about it and doesn't advertise it unless asked) so i think it must be really refreshing to be able to parry their words back n forth and speak in metaphor instead of spelling everything out. and make references that most people won't get. and call a trout a very nietzschen fish without the person who hears going "🤨 you freak". because theyre both freaks! so you know if they actually did survive the cliff fall i always picture em in some ritzy hideaway making cannibal puns at each other

#sorry for talking about hannibal so much i have so many thoughts in my brain 😭#i'm embarrassed too #hannibal #also i know the end scene with bedelia but i feel like for some reason it's not accepted canon that will survived?#ugh for season 4 i'm always scared that they'll do it and it'll be like. will living in florida like in the books. lame

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blood-starved-beast · 2 months

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how would you interpret Maria hugging hunter in her visceral? i always thought of it as some sort of mockery from her

Sort of, but in the way that her whole fight is sort of a "mockery" of the concept of a dashing Heroic romance (In the Shakespearean sense of the term). Let me explain.

First, we have to understand Maria's character design in that she is of the bifauxnen archetype. The bifauxnen is a handsome, gentleman-ly type woman portraying all the traits we associate with a dashing hero: courageous, refined and sometimes aristocratic, and androgynous. She is the counterpart to the bishonen, the contrast to the more coarse Lad-ette. The most famous of this archetype of course is Lady Oscar from Rose of Versailles. She is essentially a Female Prince.

The Lady Maria reflects this design. Out of all the Hunters and Byrgenwerth crew, she is the one dressed to the Nines, wearing dashing Cainhurst fashion to something that is essentially nasty and wet and all the other things (the Hunt). She's wearing jewelry (the Lumenflower brooch) the cravat, the fact she curls her hair, the aristocratic looks and backstory (the fact that she's the Lady Maria, a Knight of Cainhurst Vileblood royalty), the fact that she was the one taking care of the Research patients and they worship her, etc. Her outfit fits along the lines of the Lady Oscars, Alucards, and so forth. The fact that she is the only one to realize the atrocity of her actions, to regret her actions and reject her calling as a Hunter, is so fucking introspective at the cost of noticing Gehrman's mania for example reads very much in line of a Romantic hero. She is presenting a Look and this Look says she is meant to come off as rich, handsome, and heroic as she's slaying monsters. At least, those are the visual cues the player is meant to read in that sense. And that is carried over into her actions.

Lady Maria fights the Hunter to "liberate [them] from [their] wild curiosity" - she is taking the role again, of the hero. The villain here, being that need for Insight and she is saving the Hunter from the call of blood. She then engages you a fight, a dance really, set to waltz - again, playing with those romantic hero tropes (assuming you don't parry her to death). The visceral attack therefore, plays into that fantasy. She treats you so gently cause of course you are the Victim enslaved by your thirst for knowledge, she is the romantic hero, mercy killing you with the sweet kiss of death. She steadies you as your now heartless body bleeds out onto the floorboards of the clocktower.

But like everything in Bloodborne, there is a catch you see. Cause the Lady Maria is not a hero in fact; she is a bloody coward.

Yes, Maria is the only member of the Byrgenwerth crew (and amongst the few Hunter in general) to make a dry stop + u-turn from the Hunt and the atrocities associated with that. But unlike someone like Djura, who at least is trying to be productive in his redemption, Maria runs from her mistakes. She casts Rakuyo into the Well and leaves. She joins the Research Hall and contributes to more atrocities there, but hey at least all the patients there love her right?? (😬) And when her brooding (or maybe insanity? who says she was immune to the Beast plague? Or Kos infecting her brain??) was too much for her, she takes her own life instead of you know, working to dismantle the systems - both the Research Hall and the Hunt itself. Her issues and her guilt - that is more important to her than actually helping or saving people. She the Lady Maria of the Astral Clocktower, Lord over nothing else but the reminder of her greatest failure. Both in life and in death.

Cause you see, her stopping the Hunter isn't really about saving them from their wild curiosity. The Fishing Hamlet is dead and gone. The effects are echoing throughout all of Yharnam in this day and age. Heck, the Hunter just came in from the Research Hall itself. It is well and truly Known, to prevent future atrocities of that scale, one has to know the events that led to those atrocities in the First Place. Lady Maria isn't helping you, isn't saving you from anything you already knew to begin with. She is, once again, trying to alleviate her own guilt and shame and trying to prevent others of knowing of that shame. So she tries to kill you. But you know, in a Heroic way. Hence why the whole fight is a sham and mockery.

She also hates your guts. I consider this to be tertiary canon at best, but the deleted lines has it so that she calls you insufferable, and baits you to kill her. She Does Not Actually Give a Shit About You. It cannot be more blatant than that. And how couldn't she? You make her recall her greatest shame, force her to break the last of her principles (no Vilebloodbending) so that your ass does not learn of what she's done. You also keep coming back, so you're a constant reminder that no matter what she does, her actions really do mean nothing, not before, and definitely not now.

Also she stares at you like this the whole fight if looks could kill well, you would be dead and not coming back (The way you ought to. Bastard. Stay dead already!! - Lady Maria, probably):

So yeah, she is mocking you with a oh so sweet kiss from the Handsome Hero type as she rips your heart out (breaking it) and kills you very dead. Cause fuck the Hunter specifically.

#lady maria of the astral clocktower #bloodborne #my meta #me shaking Maria: YOU ARE SO STINKY!!! RATTY BASTARD #Also there is something to be said about how she cries out to the Moon Presence like Gehrman does when she's killed #but she never actually Made Contact with Her #Crying out to a God who is Deaf to Her #as she's dragged to Kosm Hell where she belongs!!#so yeah

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regaliasonata · 2 months

Text

Your Power Ranger seasons in a nutshell

MMPR: After school daycare fights bald ass man’s space ex

MMPR 2: ALL HAIL THE W- TOMMY

MMPR 3: Fish babysitting

Zeo: Praying to crystals to fight artificial intelligence

Turbo: Passing on car insurance will

In Space: Siblings make their argument everyone’s problem

Lost Galaxy: Star Wars meets Magic Mike

Lightspeed Rescue: Gay Demon Son or Nurse Lesbian Daughter

Time Force: Futuristic Racism

Wild Force: Tarzan zoo keeping

Ninja Storm: Family barbecue drama becomes everyone’s problem

Dino Thunder: Man nearly destroys the world because of his midlife crisis and projects it on children

SPD: Nepotism ass beating

Mystic Force: Parry Hotter

Operation Overdrive: Walking metal detector lives out his One Piece dream

Jungle Fury: Gay furry trauma

RPM: Spandex propaganda vs Terminator

Samurai: Generational issues

Megaforce: Copyright infringement

Dino Charge: Absent father causes problems

Ninja Steel: Absent father is useless

Beast Morphers: Terminator fighting semi-furries

Dino Fury: Daddy issues

Cosmic Fury: COSMIC daddy issues

#power rangers #mmpr #mighty morphin power rangers #nostalgia #show #childhood shows #tv #boom! comics power rangers

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bedrock-to-buildheight · 11 months

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Hey can you explain what Ultrakill is? all I see are shitposts and it’s so surreal

Oh boy.

Ultrakill is a fps where you play as a robot that runs on blood invading Hell because your kind killed everyone on Earth. The goal is to stay alive through incredible violence, and optionally explore the lore of Hell

This sounds dry, but it isn't! Because

The gameplay is very fast, chaotic, and rewards cool acts and creativity. You can grapple hook a giant sea monster and shoot at it while it drags you around like a paraglider. You can parry a giant boss' punches despite being smaller than his fists. It's fuckin awesome

The vibes constantly swing from the grim and hopeless nature of its setting to uh. fishing minigame and dating sim. It feels like a shitpost with a lot of heart, is what I mean

It's gay as hell. You literally beat gabriel from the bible so hard he realized he's gay and atheist. You have a rival who is a shittier version of you. The transwomen can teleport and shoot laser beams. The prospect of your player character fucking gabriel from the bible is endorsed by multiple people on the dev team and his own VA

#ask bedrock #idk I haven't played it yet

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whereonhermitcraftisjoel · 1 month

Note

Stress moves Parry the platypus on top of Joel's gate in the beginning of her new video. He doesn't make an appearance but I think Joel fans will have a fun time watching it

youtube

What a delight! No timestamp, the whole first 5:40 of the video is about Joel! ngl, this is the most Stress I've ever watched, though I now know she has workout videos and is now working on writing music for the first time and maybe someday a novel.

Stress Facts I knew previously:

Kids

Iskall

Fanks[1]

I also thought she wasn't very active, but this is episode 17! Here's hoping we can see Stress and Joel bond over saying "fanks". (I skimmed her twitter and she really really does type like she speaks. "wot", "me" for my, "meself", "wiv" for with, "ere" for here, "anyfin" (which sounds like something anthropomorphic fish would say), and even "av" for have. An absolute legend.)

[1] in speech and text, and obviously that she's english

#hermitcraft #smallishbeans #joel smallishbeans #hermitcraft season 10 #hermit joel #hermitcraft s10 #hermitblr #stressmonster101

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rottenpumpkin13 · 6 months

Note

So how did the Firsts setting Lazard up on a date go? You mentioned it in an old post, and I'm curious.

Malicious Non-Compliance

wc: 3291

desc: The boys set Lazard up on a date and just have to tag along—in disguise, that is.

n: I used this as a prompt, I hope you don't mind me answering like this!

Zack kept both of his legs propped up on the chair, bracing his chin in the crook of his joint knees. A wad of fanned-out cards between his fingers met his attention. He sniffed, scrunching his eyebrows together.

“Think, Zack, think!” He muttered to himself.

The audible frustration stretched the smile on his opponent’s face. Sephiroth kept his cards facing him with one hand, using the other to drum his fingers on the table, a rhythmic reminder that time did indeed pass in the Corporate Archives, no matter what the stubbornly broken clock on the table told them.

Zack groaned softly, snapping his head up to meet Sephiroth’s expectant flick of his eyebrow.

“Got any twos?” Zack asked.

Sephiroth shook his head. “Go fish.”

Angeal slammed his hand down on the table. “WE’RE PLAYING UNO!”

His outburst was bombarded with a wave of shushes from the nearby tables. Angeal tossed his cards, letting them scatter across the table before splaying his hands in surrender.

“I give up,” he said.

Zack and Sephiroth’s boyish laughter and subsequent high-five marked the moment the Arcive doors squeaked open, letting in a pair of boots that marched purposefully across the floor, kicking the tail of a long coat as they headed straight toward the table.

Genesis was enraged, and one did not need a magical looking-glass to discern that. The red blotched on his cheeks matched the fiery hue of his tousled hair as he plunked himself on the empty seat beside Zack.

“Good evening to you too, Commander.” Angeal smiled.

Genesis’ eyes were unblinking and grave as they glared at him. He crossed his arms, opening his mouth purposefully, in a way that told all three men that they were to be subjected to an avalanche of words.

“Lazard needs a life!” He declared suddenly. “One that doesn’t involve us and certainly has nothing to do with this company!”

“And you came to this conclusion how?” Sephiroth asked.

Genesis replied with an annoyed “tch!” as he turned away from him. “He’s not letting me go to LS8!”

Zack leaned towards Sephiroth’s right. “What’s LS8?” he whispered.

“Some Loveless thing,” Sephiroth shook his head.

Genesis snapped his head toward them, steam practically billowing from his nostrils.

“It’s not some Loveless thing!” he spat. “It’s the Loveless thing. It’s the biggest event of the year. All of this year’s cast members are going to be there, and there will be a screening for the new documentary, and everyone who’s anyone will be there!”

“And you’re not going?” Zack asked.

“I can't go!” Genesis moaned. “Lazard's keeping me from it because of—” he mimicked quotation marks with his fingers, “—my tendency to act improperly and embarrass the company through alcohol-fueled displays.”

Angeal's lips were crooked as he swaged his head from side to side. “He kinda has a point, Gen. You, alcohol and these Loveless parties are usually a recipe for disaster.”

“Maybe!” Genesis parried. “But he has no right to keep me from them! I'm an adult and a commanding officer, I can make my own decisions!”

Zack slumped back in his seat. “You do have a point about Lazard needing a life, though. The man works too much. He needs to have some fun once in a while.”

“I can't argue with that,” Sephiroth signed. “I frequently cross paths with him at odd hours of the morning. Sometimes it's three AM and he's up working.”

Angeal jerked his head back. “What are you doing up at three AM?”

Sephiroth froze. “....Things.”

“Ooh, ominous!” Zack piped up.

“Not it's not!” Genesis snapped. “He just has insomnia and likes to prowl around the building like a wraith!”

Sephiroth looked pleased. “Which you would know because you also have the tendency to galavant about the building at odd hours.”

Zack raised his hand. “Can confirm. I've seen Genesis break into the training room at 2 AM once!”

Genesis grazed with him a mocking look. “Puppy, why were you stalking me at 2 AM?”

Zack pouted. “Kunsel told me you teach secret materia classes and the meetings are in the middle of the night.”

“Gossip and hearsay,” Genesis replied coolly.

“Am I the only one who sleeps around here!?” Angeal snapped.

He began gathering the strewn cards on the table, neatly stacking them together. “But you guys are right. We should do something about it. Give him a break, you know?”

Genesis stretched his back into an arch. “What he really needs is a date. One night with a pretty girl and he'll soften like butter under the sun.”

Angeal considered. “It would be nice to know he has someone.”

“Yeah!” Zack bounced his legs beneath the table—much like a dog wagging its tail. “Can you imagine if Lazard had a girlfriend? He'd let us get away with all sorts of stuff because he'd be too happy to care!”

Sephiroth looked apprehensive. “This doesn't sound right. I believe the right term for this is meddling?”

Genesis rolled his eyes. “It's not meddling if we just introduce him to a woman and let fate weave its tapestry.”

“Alright,” Sephiroth braced his head on his palms. “Who?”

Angeal had known his best friend long enough to know that Genesis' unsettling grin was the calm before any storm.

The redhead crossed his legs, looking off to the side.

“Don't worry. I have someone in mind.”

Director Lazard sits in his office the next day with a chip on his shoulder and a stack of bullshitted Second Class mission reports by his side. He's tempted to chalk up the incompetence to the typical end-of-the-year slog.

But the colorful text on the mission report in his hand at that moment made it impossible.

He sighed, placing the document down and reaching over for his notepad, where he proceeded to jot down a few words.

“Note to self,” he wrote, “confiscate Zack's crayons.”

The glass doors of his office slid open, giving way to Genesis' pompous and irrepressible vibrancy that morning. He marched in with a smile on his face.

“Director, you're going to love me!”

Lazard didn't bother looking up from his writing. “Flattered as I am by your advances, Genesis, I prefer the company of women.”

“Tch!” Genesis pooped himself down on the opposite chair. “Funny you should say that! Do you perhaps know Meg from Urban Development?”

Lazard slid his glasses back onto his nose bridge. “Reeve's assistant.”

“Yeah, her! We got to chatting yesterday, and she couldn't help but mention how charming, sophisticated, and attractive she finds you.”

Lazard's immediate slack jaw was a promising response to Genesis. He found satisfaction in the way the director was rendered speechless by the prospect, his cheeks blotted with red.

“Did she…really say that?”

Genesis nodded eagerly. “She did! So I've taken the liberty of setting you up on a date tonight. You're welcome.”

Lazard frowned. “Tonight? Oh, no. Tonight won't do. I've got too much to do. Some files in the data room have gone missing and I'm the one who must see to it.”

Genesis swung his legs over the arm of the chair, leaning back with a purposefully dramatic and drawn-out sigh.

“What a shame. Oh well, I suppose Rufus will be happy to hear that.”

“Rufus?” Lazard echoed. “Shinra?

“Him,” Genesis folded his arms across his chest. “I hear he's got the eyes for Meg. He's been dying to take her out, but she's been waiting for you to ask her instead. A tragedy, I say. A modern-day soap opera plot. Ah well, I suppose she'll have to settle for the Vice President instead.”

Genesis' crooked tactic worked like a charm.

Lazard chewed his bottom lip, his eyebrows scrunching together in a way that told Genesis that the older man was seriously pondering over it.

“I can…I can postpone a task—just this once!” he added quickly. “It would be rude to cancel a date, after all.”

Genesis stood up at once, so pleased it oozed from every pore on his grinning face. “Good! I'll make sure to email you the details in a bit. Have fun tonight, Director!”

Genesis left the office, stepping out in the hallway and pulling his phone out. “And this is the part where I tell Sephiroth I told you so—OW!”

An object hit him right in the eye. His hand shot up to cover it, the other eye furiously searching for the source of the attack. A lone, purple crayon rolled by his feet.

He turned to see an ongoing scuffle between Angeal and Zack down the hallway. Angeal tried his best to wrestle away a box of scented crayons from Zack's grasp.

“Let go!” Zack whined. “I promise I won't use them anymore!”

“No!” Angeal yelled back. “Not until you tell me where the blueberry-scented one is!”

Zack let himself go limp in Angeal's grasp, his face reddening as he avoided the other man's eyes entirely.

“Did you eat it, Zack!? You ate it, didn't you!?”

Zack squeezed his eyes shut. “You can't prove anything!”

“OH MY GOD!”

Genesis rolled his eyes, choosing to walk away instead of witnessing their debacle.

The Cinnamon Veil was an upscale restaurant in the glitzy area of Sector Seven. The sidewalk outside the bustling establishment was heaving with people, overtaken by a line that wrapped around the building.

Couples stood with their arms linked, common people bedecked themselves in finery and their best clothes, and amidst the excitable crowd ...Was Angeal wearing a fake mustache.

“I gotta admit,” he said, stroking the faux facial hair pensively. “When I previously imagined my Friday night, being married to Genesis was not in my plans.”

Beside him, Genesis adjusted his pencil skirt. His large sunglasses teased the vibrant eye makeup beneath, which complimented his rosy lips.

“Oh, hush!” Genesis smoothed his hair. “And put your arms around me, we’re supposed to be a couple!”

“And what do I do?” Sephiroth’s voice cut in.

Behind them, Sephiroth had been forced into a black T-shirt of a heavy metal band he did not know, eyeliner that stung his waterlines, along with jewelry and fake piercings. A pair of aqua-blue contacts concealed his infamous eyes.

“You’re already doing your part, darling.” Genesis placed his sunglasses on his head. “You’re our rebellious, teenage son. Now stand there and act displeased with our family outing.”

Sephiroth crossed his arms, frowning pointedly. “Understood.”

Angeal and Genesis turned around, looking for any sign of Lazard and Reeve’s assistant, Meg.

Sephiroth piped up again.

“I'm a homosexual.”

Angeal and Genesis snapped back around on cue.

Sephiroth shrugged.

“What? My research tells me that a child revealing their sexual orientation to their parental figures causes a strain in their relationship. It can’t get more rebellious than that.”

“Seph,” Angeal huffed. “Were you dropped on your head as a baby?”

“Yes, several times.”

Angeal and Genesis elected not to respond, slowly turning back around again. Angeal spotted a head of sandy blond hair a few spaces ahead of them.

“Look!” He pointed. “There he is!”

Lazard looked positively radiant as he and Meg talked. Genesis marveled at how stunning of a pair they made, thanking no one but himself for the brilliant start to a courtship, of course. The conversation flowed naturally, and none of them had ever seen Lazard so at ease.

“Aren’t I a genius?” Genesis sighed. “You’ll see. Soon enough, Lazard will be out of our hair and you’ll all be praising me.”

Angeal scratched his fake mustache. “If everything goes smoothly, that is.”

“I want to be held,” Sephiroth said suddenly.

Angeal and Genesis whipped back around.

Sephiroth was unbothered. “I've never had parents before,” he said. “I don’t know how to act.”

Once they were inside the restaurant, they were ushered to their table. Genesis had made sure to book one right across from Lazard and Meg’s, giving them the most optimal view of their date.

“I don’t know about this, Gen,” Angeal muttered, settling into his seat. “Spying makes me uncomfortable. We’re invading his privacy.”

“No,” Genesis corrected him. “We’re making sure Lazard doesn’t blow his chance at love.”

“May I have ice cream for dinner?” Sephiroth asked, thumbing through the menu.

“You can have ice cream for dessert.” Angeal rubbed his temples. “Where’s the waiter?”

As if on cue, a waiter—literally—slid in from their left, his polished shoes squeaking on the floor as he posed.

“Right here!” He flashed them a winning grin.

One curious fact about The Cinnamon Veil was that all of their waiters were required to wear a tawny mask as a part of their uniform—hence the veil. And yet, even a mask was no efficient cover for Zack’s notorious, black spikes and the telling glow of Mako eyes.

“Zack!?” All three of them sputtered in unison.

The Second looked pleased, proudly showing off his vest and bowtie. He placed the pen to his notepad and cleared his throat.

“I’m Zack and I’ll be your server tonight. Can I get you started on the seared scallops? The sole meunière? Or perhaps some ice cream for the kid!”

Genesis’ lips were pressed into a thin line. “What are you doing?” he scolded. “You’re going to ruin everything!”

Zack pouted. “No, I’m not! And F.Y.I., it was mega rude of you to not invite me along.”

Genesis sunk into his seat. “That’s because this is an undercover affair and you’re the poster boy of conspicuity.”

Angeal gestured toward Sephiroth. “Oh, because emo Sephiroth is pure stealth.”

“It’s not a phase, father,” Sephiroth shot back.

Angeal pulled a face.

Zack tucked his pen in the pocket of his apron. “Look, I’m just here to make sure Lazard's date goes well. I want him to be happy just as much as you three, ‘kay? Plus, I hit the jackpot. I’m their server!”

Genesis sat up straight, the color returning to his face. “Oh! What did he order?

Zack replied with a grimace. “Garlic-fried rice.”

“What?” Genesis slapped his hand on the table. “Oh! That man has no game whatsoever! How is he expected to kiss her good night when his breath smells like garlic!?”

Zack held up a hand. “Don’t worry, I took care of it. I switched his order with someone else’s, so I’ll bring him something else. You know how Lazard it! He hates conflict, so he’ll force himself to eat it.”

Zack opened his notepad. “But anyway. What are you guys having?”

Sephiroth looked back down at the menu. “What do you recommend?

“Well, I think—” Zack snapped his head toward another table mid-sentence. “Oh! I gotta jet! I’ll see you in a bit!”

Zack ran off toward another table and began taking their order instead. Angeal sighed, watching his student from across the dining room. He shook his head.

“It’s as if his attention span dwindles by the day. He should be glad he’s a SOLDIER. Real-world jobs are not meant for him.”

Something about his friend’s words struck something in Genesis. The redhead snapped his head towards him, frowning pointedly as he looked from Angeal to Zack scurrying back into the kitchen.

“Goddess, ‘Geal, you’re so harsh with him. He’s doing his best, you know.”

Angeal shrugged, turning back around. “I know, and I am proud of him. But I want him to reach his full potential and I think he lacks the focus it takes to reach it.”

Meanwhile, Sephiroth was the only one who noticed Zack sail out of the kitchen again, this time with Lazard and Meg’s orders ready. He had limited knowledge about the culinary arts, but he did know shrimp pasta when he saw it.

And he also knew how much Lazard detested shrimp.

Sephiroth uncrossed his arms, sitting up. “Um, gentlemen?”

The urgency in Sephiroth’s voice, just like his words, went unnoticed by his friends.

“Yeah,” Genesis continued. “But sometimes it comes off as you not having faith in him.”

“I do have faith in him,” Angeal pressed, clearly annoyed. “If anything, you’re the one who thinks he’s just some Second Class runt who follows us around.”

Sephiroth couldn’t look away from the car crash unfolding right before his eyes. Zack served Lazard and his date their meals, the former looking quite displeased with his order. But it was just like Zack had said, he wasn’t the confrontational type.

“Mother?” Sephiroth tried. “Father?”

Angeal and Genesis ignored him.

“Not true!” Genesis replied, his tone getting more heated by the second. “I adore Zack!”

“Hmm.” Angeal rolled his eyes. “Just like you adore Sephiroth.”

Genesis faked an overdramatic gasp which he emphasized by placing a hand over his heart. “How dare you accuse me of disliking my own child!?”

Meanwhile, Sephiroth watched as Lazard took one bite of his food, then violently spit it back out—right in Meg’s face. Lazard began coughing and spitting food all over the place. Meg’s face was befouled by the bits of shrimp and rice. Her mouth was hanging open in disbelief.

Sephiroth turned back around.

“Gentlemen, I am begging for one second of your attention.”

“NOT NOW!” Genesis snapped at him.

“A-HA!” Angeal pointed an accusatory finger at him. “SEE? NO WONDER I'M THE ONE HE COMES TO WHEN HE'S UPSET, GENESIS! YOU’RE A BITCH!”

“I BEG YOUR PARDON!?” Genesis stood up, making Angeal rise to his feet as well. “TAKING CARE OF HIM IS A JOINT EFFORT, ANGEAL! DON’T UNDERMINE MY PARENTING!”

Meanwhile, Lazard and Megan were actively arguing. Zack tried to work the middle-man role in vain, failing at calming either of them down.

“Our plan is going down the drain here, men,” Sephiroth said.

They continued to ignore him.

“PARENT HIM?” Angeal laughed. “YOU’RE BARELY HIS FRIEND. ALL YOU TWO DO IS ARGUE BECAUSE YOU PICK FIGHTS!”

Genesis grabbed his coat. “WELL, IF WE’RE SUCH A BURDEN TO YOU, ANGEAL, MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST PACK OUR THINGS AND LEAVE!”

Angeal slammed his fist on the table. “YOU’RE NOT GOING TO LEAVE! I WANT A DIVORCE!”

Sephiroth watched helplessly as Lazard ripped away Zack’s mask.

“Oh dear,” Sephiroth whispered.

Sephiroth had heard about the six stages of grief before, and he was almost certain each of them became etched onto Lazard’s face in the span of a single second. Zack awkwardly smiled and waved, which only served as a catalyst to redden the older man’s face and propel his rage.

Sephiroth was nonplussed. “Hm. It appears that, as the youths say, all hell has broken loose.”

Angeal and Genesis persisted in dragging out their squabble.

“MY MOTHER WARNED ME ABOUT YOU!” Genesis shot back. “YOU KNOW WHAT? SINCE YOU’RE THE BETTER PARENT, KEEP HIM! I’M BETTER OFF ON MY OWN ANYWAY!”

Angeal gasped. “YOU CYNICAL ASSHOLE! YOU WON’T EVEN FIGHT FOR CUSTODY? HOW SELFISH CAN YOU BE?”

Sephiroth flinched once Meg grabbed her drink. She threw it in Lazard’s face before promptly walking off. Then Lazard and Zack began to argue, the former grabbing him by the neck and beginning to shake him.

“I might be witnessing a murder,” Sephiroth said.

“I DON’T NEED THIS!” Genesis screamed. “I’M LEAVING! I’M DONE!”

Angeal grabbed his coat. “YEAH, WELL SO AM I!”

Angeal and Genesis went their opposite ways, leaving Sephiroth to watch the fight escalate by the second. He would’ve been more motivated to step in if Zack were in any real danger. But the sight of Lazard thwacking Zack with his own apron was far too entertaining to intervene.

He wondered if Angeal and Genesis were watching.

Sephiroth turned around.

“...”

“Mother?”

“...”

“Father?”

“...”

The sounds of Zack getting disciplined in the background persisted (“Ow! I didn’t know!” Thwack! “Director! I swear I didn’t mean to!” Thwack! “Ow!”) Sephiroth slumped down in his seat, disgruntled.

He crossed his arms over his chest.

“This is just like real life.”

#ff7 #ffvii #final fantasy 7 #sephiroth #ffvii crisis core #genesis rhapsodos #final fantasy vii #angeal hewley #ff7r #ff7 crisis core #ff7cc #writing #ff7 fic #ff7 fanfiction #zack fair

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sleepyfan-blog · 14 days

Text

Pattern Recognition

Author’s Note: this is the second part of mer-Sirass fic! Previous.

Tagged: @egrets-not-regrets @kit-williams @bleedingichorhearts @the-pure-angel

Warnings: mention of illness and parasites (fish variety)

Summary: Sirass figures out the cause of the sick reef.

Sirass glared down at his bonded, arms folded over his chest as he looks down at you “And why do you not want me to come with you while you are inspecting the sickened reef?”

You sigh and remind him “You can read through the data that we've recorded, collate it and find connections between different incidents much faster than any of the rest of our team. That and… The Reef and the fish and other sea life who depend on it are getting much sicker over the past several months. The number of parasites and sheer variety of them is unlike anything any of us have ever seen. I… I know that you have an incredible immune system and that your armor somehow helps you to survive the depths of space… But-” you reach out and lightly touch the grumpy Iron Warrior's hand with one of your own, squeezing gently “I worry about you. We don't know the source behind these sicknesses. I would feel awful if You came down with something while helping me with this issue.”

“What about you? I know that you've told me that aquatic diseases can't affect you, and that threatened aquatic parasites are unable to penetrate through your swimming gear, but I want to be there to protect you. Besides, despite my many excellent skills, data processing is best left to-” Sirass grumbled before he stopped talking mid-sentence, as a horrified expression appeared on his face.

He swum through the air as fast as he could, large form blurring for several moments as he picked up a damaged piece of diving equipment. His fingers shook a little as he inspected it, face pale and expression unreadable “Do you know how this happened?”

“Yes, Doctor Alenfil had to do an emergency evac to the surface a couple of hours ago after his equipment started malfunctioning out of nowhere. I saw him do the double check myself. He said he was mobbed by dark green creatures that burbled and cackled - two of them sparked electricity and they tried to bite him. Luckily he was able to scare them off by hitting them with his shark baton… Are you okay, Sirass?”

Sirass let out a series of probable-curse words in his native tongue. He darted over to the table and sketched out the rough shape of a strange looking little monster. It has many pointed teeth and three too many eyes for your taste, and small, thin tails “Did they look similar to this?” Heasked, tone urgent and eyes wide.

“I'll have to check with Parris, but from his description, yes.” You respond, alarmed by how distressed Sirass was. You take a snapshot of the picture and text your colleague, who was currently being treated for the bends, having had to go up to the surface to avoid drowning after his oxygen tank had been bitten through. Less than a minute later, you had your answer. It was a simple one word answer, which you passed onto Sirass. “Yes, that's what attacked him, why?”

“Fuck fuck fuck! This is far more dangerous than I first thought. You need to quarantine that reef and the surrounding lands for at least 8 miles in every direction. Fuck! Why didn't I see this sooner?” Sirass growls, swimming back and forth in the air in agitation. “... I'll need to contact the chapter masters. They're likely going to get the Salamanders involved.”

You blink in confusion, asking “we do have the Reef and the surrounding waters condoned off. Why eight miles specifically? What's going on? Who are the Salamanders? What is a chapter master? Sirass! Please talk to me.”

“Eight is a number sacred to the worshippers of decay and disease. I should have known weeks ago this was their doing. Chapter Masters lead the major pods. Like captain's, but on a much larger scale. Salamanders can and will set anything on fire. Which is what we'll need to do.. and where is that… Where is Pollux? He is a Son of Dorn, but will know the danger of the situation and help me in calling for the necessary people.”

“Hold on! No one is setting anything on fire! worshippers of what now?” You were delighted to get confirmation that the different pods of Astartes did in fact communicate with one another more than the occasional snarling hiss exchange with the bright yellow and black astartes who was partners with Doctor Smithson, another member of your conservation team. You still didn’T know who Dorn - nor Perturabo - was. Neither wanted to elaborate. “How would belief cause destruction?”

“... I will explain when I can, my heart. But this is too dangerous, too urgent to pause for explanations. That reef and all those afflicted animals will need to be killed and burnt. To avoid further contamination. As will all of the samples taken. The risk to everyone is too high, even if the samples are kept in lab conditions for study. This is no mere illness in the waters caused by simple waste, temperature or salinity changes. It's far worse. More sinister and deliberate.” Sirass warned before yellowing at the top of his lungs “POLLUX YOU UGLY YELLOW BASTARD! WE HAVE A MAJOR PROBLEM!”

Seconds later Pollux entered the room, scowling. So did most of the conservation team, all looking puzzled. The Imperial fist asked impatiently “What is it now, Iron Warrior?”

“Doctor Alenfil was nearly killed by a Nurgling when it bit through his air tank.” Sirass stated.

Pollux swore explosively in a dozen languages, as he started reaching for his helmet. “This is catastrophic! We should coordinate on who is calling which chapter master.”

“You speak with the Carrion-Worshippers, and I'll handle the Chaos-aligned.” Sirass suggested.

“He is not- you know what? I'm not getting into an argument with you over his holiness, not when we have a budding Garden of Blight on our hands.” Pollux hissed. Both astartes swam off together, voices tense and unhappy.

The rest of the conservation team descend on you, and you answer their questions to the best of your abilities.

#warhammer 40k #space marine husbandry sentience #space marine husbandry #my writing #oc: Sirass #adeptus astartes x reader #Celestial Seas AU

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