#flirty jaskier

[maliciouslove]

i cant be the only one that thinks jaskier is stupid hot

[queenunderthatmountain]

okay but book jaskier is so special to me

Him just being this childish, flirty, and self loving pretty man in his fourties who makes inappropriate jokes at the wrong time and always ends up in situations that he needs to be saved from

but him also being so much more than just this basic, seen before, comic relief.

him being an artist, above all else, a really good one, one that can make people passionate and sad and feel all the emotions he feels. wasnt he even a teacher at oxenfurt? like teacher jaskier pls give it all to me

him coming from a rich family, being educated but deciding that his art is all he needs and to live his life in the fullest

him always thinking he's not brave enough, but for the people he loves he goes through danger and discomfort, as long as he possibly could, longer than anyone, including himself would have thought

him also being just a really lovable person? him chosing Geralt, cold seeming, unsocial, sad Geralt as his best friend (in the books thats the kind of realtionship i see them as) and just making Geralt love him, even though he fucks things up on a regular basis, can be annoying as hell and lands them in the strangest ans messiest situation, Geralt loves his bestie so much, he would go through anything for him without making Jaskier feel bad for it

sure he might sometimes be annoyed but would never truly be angry and never ever abandon him do you hear me netflix

he could have all the company in the world, but he chose to stay with the outcast, the brewing, dangerous man who is unwanted and unwelcomed by society, and never regretted it

In conclusion Jaskier is a very special being and means the world to me

[bambirex]

Okay but now I want a very homoerotic rivalry between Jaskier and Valdo. Gimme suggestive lines and heavy subtext gimme implications that they had fucked/dated in the past, banter that is pretty much just hate- flirting. And i very specifically want a scene with Valdo tucking a piece of Jaskier's hair behind his ear in a manner that is both condescending and flirty

[bitterlybisexualbard]

Jaskier: for once I must not be a silly flirty little man. I must be smart about this. This is serious. Yes he's hot but he is the powerful prince of a powerful country thats been threatening me for a year and he is involved in a plot that might harm my friends, and if I offend him with an off colour pick up line-

Radovid: did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Let's do maths, what do you get when you divide my legs and add you to me? I'm afraid I have to have you arrested for theft, you've stolen my heart.

Jaskier: ...??? Right. Okay, well, to continue with our serious political spy business, there's this bad guy-

Radovid: I LOVE YOUR SHIRT BUT I THINK IT WOULD LOOK BETTER ON MY BEDROOM FLOOR. DO YOU HAVE A MAP I KEEP GETTING LOST IN YOUR EYES

[catscraftsandcommentary]

How to Catch a Witcher

(written by Priscilla, as inspired by Jaskier)

I imagine that during Jaskier's trip to Oxenfurt University in @inexplicifics Accidental Warlord AU, Priscilla heard Eskel call Jaskier "catmint" and asked what that meant. And also asked how each of the humans at Kaer Morhen got together with their respective witcher (or witchers, Jaskier.) And at some point she was bitten by the composing bug, and well...

A few months after the fiasco with Agatha and Marta, witchers return to the keep with a new song and stories of strangely, uh, handsy? flirty? young people. No one quite knows what to make of it. One of them grumpily recites the new song for Jaskier, who promptly dies laughing.

If you want to catch a Witcher

I'll tell you what to do

To find a Witcher lover

To fall in love with you.

First and most important:

You must feel zero fear

Lest your intended scent it

When he to you draws near.

Prove that you have skill

In what, it matters not

Competence is sexy

And witchers think it's hot.

Now take him by the arm

And claim him as your own

Give him a sweet kiss

And invite him to your home.

Congrats on your new lover!

Keep him warm in bed -

Safe and loved and happy,

And most of all, sated.

[tielmamon]

Jaskier thinking he both fell first and fell harder for Geralt. Completely oblivious to the fact that Geralt is actually obsessed.

Local drunks going missing after spending an evening in a tavern a certain bard had stayed in. Flirty stable boys suddenly no where to be seen after handling a horse that was known to be traveling with a witcher and his bard. High position noblemen found dead in their bedchambers, seemingly of poison the morning after a grand ball. So grand infact that they had Jaskier the bard, the famous troubadour perform for them.

Coincidences? Geralt would grin and tell you they most definitely were, all while his hand lay firmly on the small of Jaskier's back.

[procrastinatingsoicanreadfanfics]

Modern!Human in Kaer Morhen

Summary: How the Witcher characters would try to impress a modern person + feel about them

Notes: I put some of the non-Witcher characters here too since some of them wintered at Kaer Morhen as well

it's been a while, but i had my wisdom teeth removed and was incapacitated for the last few days

Tagged: @lucyinthelibrary @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie @sunndust (hmu to be tagged!)

Masterlist | based on this request | requests are OPEN!

Geralt

He tries to stay away from you at first since destiny loves to fuck him over

But you’re just so nice

Finally he’s being treated like a normal person

Would never admit it out loud

Doesn’t try to impress you per se, but tries to show that he cares about you and might become very protective

Yennefer

Has one talk with you, becomes the Continent’s first suffragette

Loves you for being a feminist (if you aren’t, why are you reading this??)

Tries to impress you with magic

Would probably work (come on! PORTALS???)

Very possessive of you, even as a friend

Triss

Honestly, she doesn’t really think about impressing you at all

But she kinda does?

She’s just a super kind person in a super shitty world

If she actually does try to actively impress you, it’ll also be through magic

Just more wholesome opposed to Yen’s intimidating

Jaskier

Will write you a song

And a song about you

He’s a bard, so be prepared to be serenaded (it would probably work on me tbh)

Ofc super flirty

So happy that you treat his witcher friends as anyone else

Eskel

Internally screaming

AKJSDJFHASAJFJKHKJ SOMEONES TREATING ME WITH DECENCY???

Crushes so hard I’m not okay

Tries to impress you with absolutely everything

From fighting to good reading recommendations to leaving little gifts (especially the little gifts)

How could you not love this guy?

Coen

He just constantly hast to remind himself that you’re nice to witchers

And ofc he melts for it bc obviously (obviously being deep-rooted trauma and self-image issues, applying to all witchers)

Tries to impress you by teaching you how to fight

And showing off all the while

Means well, but very distracted

Lambert

He’s defensively aggressive from the get-go

And so startled when you’re just… normal to him

Has no idea how to act around you

He can’t just… be mean now???

So chaotic with trying to impress you

Starts tripping while showing off his sword skills

Vesemir

Super suspicious of you being nice to his boys (and him)

Yeah, he doesn’t trust you in the least

When he does start to like you, he tries to impress you with kind gestures

And by being a good listener (Vesemir = Kaer Morhen’s local therapist)

Also makes the boys respect you

[brothebro]

Truly outstanding geraskier (geraskefer? Endgame?) material: flirty beach bitch boy Jaskier and sunburned father Geralt who's only there for Ciri (No Ciris were harmed in the creation of this piece; in fact she's building castles with her mom (Yen) further down)

For @kueble

[victimsofyaoipoll]

Round 2

Propaganda Under Cut

Yennefer

Constantly villainized because one way or another she gets in the way of a MLM ship (though at least one of them would probably be fine with a poly relationship). In the show version of her, her love interest bound her to him via magic, never told her until someone else brought it up despite it the bond causing them to meet over and over, her love interest didn’t understand why this upset her and brushed it off and still has never apologized for it because apparently it was the only way to save her life, she had better chemistry with Jaskier (the other half of the MLM ship) and had a semi-decent rivals to frenemies thing going on, the show took away her powers (which never happened in the books) to have her go on a pointless quest to get them back that worsened her relationship with her love interest because they had her try to kill her love interest’s adopted child (which now justifies why he doesn’t need to apologize of course), and all of that was after she’d already had an arc regarding sacrifice and how power wasn’t really what she wanted.

she's an incredibly powerful mage and drop dead gorgeous and deserved so much better!!! justice for yen

God forbid women do anything. She either gets hate or is ignored, really classic stuff. And she's Geralt's gf but you know, *gestures at geraskier*

Shinoa Hiiragi

The fandom hated her for getting in the way of Mika/Yuu (she had a crush on yuu). The rare times they didn’t hate her they made her into a fujoshi obsessed with shipping them which isn’t in character at all. In fact if you look at the owari no seraph specials she would ship yuu with kimizuki but no one even cares

One of my favorite characters ever forever and treated heinously by crazed fujoshis that hallucinated she was getting in the way of MikaYuu, which for the record she wasn’t! I mean even if she WAS getting between them it wouldn’t justify the crazy misogyny that got thrown at her but she had a ONE-SIDED CRUSH on Yuu. He didn’t even like her back. What was the issue, then? An unrequited crush is not going to prevent a relationship! Whatever I haven’t even told you about her. She’s Silly. She’s incredibly cunning and a great leader, in fact she is the leader of the anime’s main squad. She’s calculating. She’s a gossip and a prankster and a bit flirty and a bit mean-spirited and she presents herself in a Silly Goofy way, in part to cover up the amounts of angst in her backstory, like my girl has ISSUES. She even has an epic demon weapon that is better and cooler than most other demon weapons but if you ask any fangirl from way-back-when, she’s just a bitch and the personification of evil. and probably homophobic too, even though she has a girl rival-turned-friend which is the gayest trope out there. 

i still am completely fascinated by her character because the way she thinks and approaches things is actually pretty cool, and I thought her crush on the protagonist was actually handled pretty well, and she's pretty respectful/responsible about it. overall she's doing her best, and I love her character

[statisticallymorelikely]

Happy birthday @ironpe!

Witcher au edit: Older Bard Chris Pine x Jaskier

Jaskier meets Older Bard Chris Pine in university, the other being a few years older and an absolute breath of fresh air among the drab scholars in academia and Jaskier naturally gravitates to him. He’s fun, flirty, charismatic and speaks so passionately about stories and love and beauty that fellow students would gather around him whenever he cared to share his musings.

He and Jaskier spend hours reading together in the library, silently penning poems on a piece of paper they pass back and forth, eyes shining with mirth, lips turned in smiles secretly shared. Jaskier has what he calls ‘the tiniest crush’ on him but what everyone else calls a ‘debilitating infatuation’. Some nights, Older Bard Chris Pine sneaks wine into Jaskier’s room and they pull the most beautiful melodies from thin air, drunk half on wine and half on the joy of creation, flushed with laughter, convinced of their own genius, skin tingling as they sit shoulder to shoulder.

Jaskier often imagines him whispering poetry into his ear while he fucks him into the bed. 

But alas, nothing further happens between them, Older Bard Chris Pine graduates and soon enough Jaskier does too. He stays for a while to attempt life in academia, gets bored out of his wits and sets off for adventure. He meets Geralt, gets into all sorts of trouble with him and creates his best songs. It’s a pleasant enough existence, seeing the world, traveling with his best friend he’s kind of in love with but who never even acknowledges their friendship, sleeping under the stars, grabbing inspiration from anywhere and everywhere. 

Most times, it’s enough to see Geralt’s sharp eyes watching him from across the campfire, something akin to longing in that gaze, but sometimes, he misses the touch that came with the easy camaraderie he had in school, elbows digging into his side, knees knocking together, fingers sliding clumsily against each other on the lute. He can’t hope for that from Geralt, not yet, maybe not ever, since the only time Geralt has ever touched him is to push him out of the way or to save his life.

Needless to say, Jaskier has some needs that aren’t being met. And that’s not even counting his desperation for something soft to sleep on. Witching jobs have been hard to come by lately so Jaskier has become very familiar with his bedroll and the cold hard ground. It’s this desperation that drives them into town one night, looking for shelter.

He hopes to get a room in the inn and pay for it with the money he earns singing. Geralt will be going to the alderman first thing in the morning to look for jobs but who knows if he’ll get paid at all. Unfortunately, there’s already a bard playing when they enter. Disappointing. Jaskier suggests they try a different inn but as they’re leaving, someone calls out his name. 

And of course, it’s none other than his crush from back at school, only he’s nearly silver now, a little more muscle, weathered by adventure yet somehow even more attractive than before. His eyes crinkle when he smiles and Jaskier’s knees threaten to buckle when he realizes that smile is all for him.

Jaskier tries very hard not to get hard when Older Bard Chris Pine pulls him in for a tight hug, big, warm hands sliding around his waist. He feels a flush creep up his cheeks but there’s a lingering unease at the back of his neck, waves and waves of anger pouring in from one direction. Jaskier looks back and Geralt looks absolutely murderous, more so than usual, but he doesn’t say anything, just glares. 

Jaskier pulls away, quickly introducing Geralt to his senior from Oxenfurt.

“So! You’re the muse, huh? The infamous White Wolf,” says Older Bard Chris Pine, cheerfully extending his hand. Jaskier has to admire his courage, not many people would shake hands with a Witcher, and a grumpy one at that. Jaskier tracks Geralt’s gaze to the arm casually slung around his waist and fights the urge to explain and placate. Geralt looks like he’s going to break Older Bard Chris Pine’s arm off, and that kind of possessive reaction stirs something hot in Jaskier’s chest, but if he really wanted to, Geralt would have already done it, so the hesitation dampens Jaskier’s hopes.

Jaskier is jostled from his thoughts when the hand on his waist tugs at him, focus drawn back to blue eyes. “What?”

“Oh, darling, you haven’t changed, have you? I was asking if you wanted to catch up. In fact, I insist on it. These fine folks can do without music for a night, right?” 

Jaskier opens his mouth, sees Geralt’s furious expression once more, closes his mouth for a moment before opening it again. “Of course! Nobody’d miss your scratchy strumming, anyway.”

A bright smile spreads on his old friend’s face. “Great! Dinner’s on me!” 

Surely, there’s no harm in agreeing to this.

Except his old friend seems to be doing everything he can to drive Jaskier insane. He parks himself next to Jaskier in a tight cramped table, pressing his thighs against his, looping an arm around his shoulder, leaning close to laugh so his breath tickles at Jaskier’s neck as he tells Geralt embarrassing stories of Jaskier at school. (Enough ale has passed through their table that Geralt’s loosened up slightly, and seriously, if you let him talk enough, Older Bard Chris Pine can charm the pants off anyone and now, Jaskier wants to claw his own eyes out because he’s suddenly imagining him with his pants off.) Jaskier is extremely aware of every point of contact, each of them sending pleasant buzzes across his nerves.

Then there’s also the way he looks at him, like Jaskier has always wanted in the past, the way he smiles so fondly at him, gaze holding something hot behind those blue, blue eyes, drawing him in and holding him captive. When he absently licks his lips to chase some ale, Jaskier’s eyes flick down and he has to fight the urge to lean forward and taste him himself. Gods, every single embarrassing daydream he’s ever had is all coming back to him and it’s all too much.

He needs some air.

So, he excuses himself to get some, reassures Geralt with a look and steps out into the cold night so he can gather himself together. He stays in the alley next to the inn to brood and untangle his mess of feelings because what is going on? It’s frustrating how hot and bothered he is. It’s like he’s gone back in time to the pathetic besotted student he used to be. He blames Geralt and his missions because he hasn’t had a decent wank in a while, they’ve been so busy.

Normally, if he likes someone he just goes for it (barring his thing with Geralt, of course, that matters too much to be handled casually), a predator in his own right, but now, he feels like prey. Maybe it’s just him regressing to his younger self. He used to know next to nothing about the world and about pleasure but now, he’s more experienced and confident but one smile and all that goes flying out his head. Maybe he's just horny and wants to get taken care of once in a while. Maybe it’s because his friend actually wants him, unlike someone else in his life.

He's so close to a realization when he's knocked out of his own thoughts by a rumbling laugh next to his ear. Older Bard Chris Pine is leaning right next to him, and Jaskier wills himself not to startle.

“Where’s Geralt?”

“I offered him a room with a bath, and he took me up on it.”

“Oh.” That answers that question then, Jaskier thinks. Maybe he should stop feeling guilty about this if Geralt isn't going to care in the first place.

“Y’know, it’s been wonderful catching up with you, Jaskier. Really made me remember the good old times, our afternoons huddled together in the library, or nights in your room.” Older Bard Chris Pine murmurs softly enough that Jaskier has to lean closer to hear him. “I still remember the pretty picture you painted, sunlight in your hair, and pink lips curled around your pen.”

He runs his fingers gently against Jaskier’s fringe, down his cheeks, thumb running against his bottom lip and Jaskier sighs. He’s had enough.

He fists a hand into Older Bard Chris Pine’s coat and reels him into a kiss. It’s hot and heavy and when Older Bard Chris Pine slips his tongue in his mouth, his brain finally gives up. He had every intention of being aggressive and redeeming his pathetic demeanor all night, but then Older Bard Chris Pine is pressing him into the wall and his knees go weak.

Jaskier scrambles, fisting his hands in his friend’s hair as he starts to suck on a soft spot on Jaskier’s neck, right over his pulse. They’re pressed so close, chest to chest, thigh to thigh but he wants more, wants to get impossibly closer. This is everything he used to dream of and by gods, he’s going to get justice for his younger self! Older Bard Chris Pine shifts and slots a thigh between Jaskier’s legs and he doesn’t have enough willpower not to rut into it.

“Fuck...”

And then the rumbling laugh is back in his ear. “Be glad to.”

They fall into bed in a separate room from Geralt’s and Older Bard Chris Pine takes care of him gloriously, taking him apart with his mouth and his fingers and his cock. Jaskier gets to have his old fantasy come true. He gets fucked into the bed with poetry in his ear and it’s much, much better than he ever dreamed because it’s poetry about him, and if this is what worship feels like then no wonder the gods get drunk on it. 

They fuck for hours and by the end, Jaskier is thoroughly owned and marked, all covered in bruises and love bites and his hole is so sensitive he’s thankful Geralt won’t let him ride on Roach. He’s sticky with sweat, sated and exhausted, and falls asleep in a warm embrace

In the morning, he wakes up to Older Bard Chris Pine half dressed and getting ready to set off. But when he sees Jaskier awake, he stops his packing to go crawl up the bed again and kiss him senseless.

“I have to go, my party’s leaving by noon,” he says, genuine regret in his voice. 

Jaskier is a little sad but he never expected anything different anyway. He knows this was a one night affair and he’s glad he had it. For younger Jaskier’s sake. Maybe his present self too.

But there’s still a few hours before noon and he bets Geralt has already gone to see the alderman for a job. There's no sense in wasting this time overthinking, so he seduces Older Bard Chris Pine for one last tumble in the sheets and gets enough orgasms to last him a few more cold months with his hand.

Before he finally leaves though, Older Bard Chris Pine looks Jaskier over in all his debauched glory and grins widely, pleased at his own handiwork. Jaskier can just imagine what he looks like, hair all over the place, love bites scattered all over his body, lips bitten red. 

“Yes, that’s gorgeous. You’re gorgeous.” He runs his thumb against one particularly violent bruise right in Jaskier’s pulse point in his neck. “This one. You can’t cover this one up.”

His grin widens, smug. “Your muse is going to be furious.”

And with that he swans off and leaves Jaskier to wonder what he meant by that and how he knew because Geralt was indeed furious.

[my-jokes-are-my-armour]

Jaskier's expressions 1/?

For this first series, some smiles :

Amused - dreamy - bloody - flirty - annoyed - forced 💔 - just with the eyes - relieved - to Geralt... (😏🤭)

[finleycannotdraw]

Sorry for this stupid question, but I haven't watched or played Witcher (but planning some day at least to watch it) so I think you'll understand me 😅

I saw you reblog at first a lot of Witcher x that young boy (sorry, I have literally no idea what's his name is but he sings cools songs)

And now I'm seeing Witcher x another old man about which I know even less than nothing

Maybe I'm being stupid or something, but these guys are one from the series and another from the game? Idk cuz I knew only about Witcher x young boy and now I'm seeing that old guy and I'm confused because you just haven't reblogged it before and your reblogs are the only thing that teaches me about the Witcher. Idk when I'll watch series, but here's the question. WHO SHOULD I SHIP BRO JUST SEEING THEIR PICTURES AND HAVING NO IDEA WHO ARE THEY BUT STILL CARE FOR THEIR GOOD???

It’s not a stupid question! I’m happy to explain.

The first one is Geralt (witcher) x Jaskier (younger man who is a bard), and most fan-content of them portrays Jaskier the way the Netflix series portrays him. He is an adult, but most people tend to ignore the age gap because fantasy world (Geralt is close to 80 when he meets Jaskier in the show, but doesn’t look it). Plus, henry cavill and joey batey (actors) are close to the same age, so people tend not to think about it.

Jaskier is based off of Dandelion from the original witcher books. In the books, we don’t get to see how Geralt and Dandelion meet, because Dandelion is almost 40 and has reunited with Geralt for the duration of the books.

Another character in the books, that Geralt meets later on, is Regis (the old man). They get along very well, and Regis ends up traveling with Geralt, Dandelion, and a few other people in a group called the hansa. The way they interact is often flirty and sometimes homoerotic. Eventually it’s revealed that Regis is a higher vampire (very powerful and potentially very dangerous), and he and Geralt have a bit of a falling out, but that only lasts about 15 pages or so before he’s back with them.

Regis appears again in the Blood and Wine DLC of the third witcher game (the one I’ve played), where he and Geralt reunite as old friends before advancing the plot together. Regis is not in the Netflix series as of now.

Another character in the games that I’ve been posting about is Vernon Roche (but I wasn’t sure if you were referencing him at all). He’s a major character in the second game and comes back in the third. He’s the commander of the Blue Stripes, a Temerian (country) special forces unit designed to combat the Scoia’tael (a group of elven bandits from the books; they appear in both the second and third games, but much more heavily in the second). I’m not actually sure how old he is, but he’s more middle-aged than Jaskier or Regis.

As for the reasons I ship all of these different couples, it just comes down to a few things:

- I watched the Netflix series first, and therefore started off my witcher hyperfixation and subsequent reblog spree with Geralt x Jaskier. Later on, I learned about the book series, and fell in love with Regis, which led to the beginning of my Geralt x Regis reblog spree, continued vitally by me playing the witcher 3 and loving him even more. Then I made a super awesome friend who shared their love of Geralt x Roche.

- All of these characters, in my opinion, can make Geralt feel safer, happier, and more comfortable with emotional vulnerability. (This is also why I don’t enjoy the ships with the sorceresses, but that’s another post). I enjoy all of these ships because Geralt is an amazing, dynamic character whose relationships with others provide lots of space for good feelings and creative expression.

- I don’t stop shipping any of them when I have a burst of love for one of the ships in particular.

As for who you should ship, I can’t make that decision for you! I’d recommend engaging with at least one witcher series, be it Netflix, books, or the games (or the 2002 Polish Hexer series, which is low budget but made with so much love) and then deciding whose dynamic makes you the happiest! Fandom should be fun, shipping should be fun, so my advice is to just have fun.

Hope this helps! If you want to know anything else, don’t hesitate to reach out. :)

[battlecries-dear]

AUGH! im thinking about jealousy tropes again. like just jaskier being his fun and flirty self chatting up fellow patrons at the bar or whatever and geralt having to remind himself that the possession hes feeling is unwarranted and frankly kind of unhealthy, at least to the degree hes feeling it (splintering the wood of the stool hes sitting at cause hes grapsing the edges so hard) and hes doing his quiet seething routine but jaskier always ends up back with him. sure theyre not lovers but theyre friends and geralt tries to convince himself that's enough for him and hrrghdhh i just need these boys to suffer a little bit.

[dapandapod]

burlesque seems so vague. you can't just say that.

But I want to 🥰

Alright, yes fine. Here is some more on the subject.

It is not really what it sounds like, but all you need to remember is how the band is dressed in these kinds of shows. Fuckin' hot, is what it is, and Geralt behind the bar with eyeliner and bare arms and yes, I am fine. Loooosely based on the Christina Agiulera Burlesque? Yes? Yes.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Aiden, and it really isn’t me you need to impress, but them.” Aiden points over his shoulder to the other members of the band. Right. “What is your role, then?” He asks, pulling the strap of the case down his shoulder to take out his guitar. “Me? Oh, a bit of everything. You’ll find me wiping tables after being on stage, spanking a lovely bottom, before being sent backstage to fix a zipper. Today?” Aiden looks Jaskier up and down before shrugging. “I’m here to see if you are more than a pretty face.” “Aiden, stop flirting with the new meat.” Someone says loudly from the bar, and when Jaskier turns to look, he feels his poor little bi heart tremble in fear. There are a few men at the bar, but the one calling out is standing out like a sore thumb. His hair is white, pulled up in a ponytail to show off his undercut. The tanktop is also white, showing off some really fucking nice shoulders and arms, who are currently liftin two chairs off the counter. Fuck. “Get that stick out your ass, Geralt, if he sticks around he will get worse than that. Also look at him!” Aiden gestures at Jaskier, who waves awkwardly. He is starting to feel he should have dressed up more. “Don’t tell me you don’t think he’s cute!” The man at the bar, Geralt, only grunts and puts down the chairs. “The boss-man, that.” Aiden says cheerily, guiding Jaskier over to the band. “Don’t let him fool you, we only listen to the She-boss around here.” The girls on the stage stop, adjusting positions, starting again. Ah, the glamorous life of showbiz.  “Your resume says you are quite the musician?” Aiden asks as Jaskier gets ready on the chair. 

I think I'm hilarious. Also, turns out, if you write flirty characters, you gotta know how to flirt. I suppose this is why I struggle 🤣

[krystal280791]

Please no, don't start shipping Izzy with the noseless guy!!!

I can tolerate to see a fav character with one I can't stand (Jaskier/Radovid) once in a year, but twice is too much! 😭

And why him? You saw them talk about piracy (so nothing flirty) in just one scene!

[kuwdora]

heroics and guitar breaks Geralt/Jaskier Teen ~1300w modern with magic AU fluff and humor, age difference written for witcher flashfic challenge #75 for a nice rainbow prompt. I have have a few other silly ideas for this AU that hopefully I'll get around to, but in the meantime here is my soft flirty opening.

“I’m going to do it hard and fast,” Geralt said.

Jaskier mindlessly swiped through his phone. “Uh-huh,” he said, and he idly fingered the small hole in Priscilla’s rainbow’s leggings where she was pressed against him on the couch.

Keira barked out a laugh and Lambert snorted. Jaskier stopped swiping, his mind backtracking. He looked up sharply and wheezed in laughter when he registered what Geralt had said.

Geralt was facing the television, his shoulders squared and guitar strap arcing down his back. He had the perfect stance for Guitar Hero Revival. It looked eerily similar to one of his sword stances. Jaskier snapped a quick photo of Geralt’s ass.

He hadn’t realized Geralt had stepped up to do the track, his mind ambling back and forth as he made the adjustment to being back in town again. After Jaskier’s three-month tour across the Continent as part of his duties as Redania’s Poet Laureate, he was exhausted, but still excited to finally be back.

The day had been long, but started out brilliantly. Boozy brunch with Geralt and Shani, followed by meeting up Keira and Lambert downtown for the Pride parade, and everyone making their way to Priscilla’s flat afterwards. She had been conveniently located near the parade route, and she had a stocked liquor cabinet, snacks, a clean bathroom, and a flat screen TV. It was heavenly.

Jaskier scanned the song Geralt had queued. Bodyrocker’s I Like The Way. Tempo sped up by 4 times, adjusted to the hard difficulty setting. Geralt would run through the track so effortlessly. It was entirely rude how good Geralt was at video games, even after a lifetime of ambivalence. The man was better at pattern recognition than anyone Jaskier had ever met. Ciri had introduced him to Stardew Valley back in the day, and apparently Priscilla had also been feeding him a steady diet of old, text-based narrative games that Geralt had grown fond of, which Jaskier had insisted Geralt narrate for him during their idle times on the road.

But right now Geralt was about take the next high score by storm and Jaskier didn’t find himself upset at being outclassed with this kind of musical performance.

“Fast and hard, huh? Promises, promises,” he hummed.

“The song,” Geralt said deadpan, and the delivery made Jaskier flush uncontrollably.

“Keep it in your pants,” Lambert grumbled.

“I wouldn’t mind a show,” Keira said and took another drink from her champagne flute.

“It is why we’re here,” Priscilla said.

“You could pretend to stop hitting on my brother while I’m here you know,” Lambert said.

“You’re just sad Aiden’s late,” Keira said, cupping Lambert’s face roughly and kissed him on the nose.

“Wait, wait, you can’t start yet,” Jaskier said and got up from the couch.

“What?” Geralt asked, looking over his shoulder.

“You have to take off your shirt,” Jaskier said.

“Excellent idea,” Keira chimed in quickly.

Geralt rolled his eyes, but the corner of his mouth pulled upward with the hint of smile. Jaskier preened. He loved nothing more than showing Geralt off, so even with the small gathering like this with Priscilla and Keira at hand, Jaskier launched at the chance to play. He mimed removing his shirt and Geralt raised a snowy brow.

“It’ll bring you closer to the music,” Jaskier said.

“It’s true, it helps channel your inner rockstar,” Priscilla agreed.

“He can already do this song with his eyes closed,” Lambert said.

Jaskier flapped a dismissive hand and went to hold the guitar while Geralt removed his shirt. Priscilla whistled and Keira clapped.

“I’m going to get another beer,” Lambert said.

“You’re up next. I’m picking your song,” Keira said.

“Don’t pick any of that boyband shit,” Lambert said and Keira blew him a kiss.

Geralt traded his shirt for the guitar and Jaskier drank in the sight: Geralt’s chest and back deeply was scarred from beasts that Geralt had earned from hunting and ethically rescuing monsters over the years. Geralt’s white hair was pulled back loosely, and he hadn’t put enough sunscreen on that day because he cheeks were pink, adding depth to the age lines across his face. Geralt’s eyebrow hairs had started getting ridiculously long. Jaskier swiped a thumb across Geralt’s right eyebrow.

“Do you want to do sound check while you’re at it?” Geralt asked in a quiet, teasing rumble that made Jaskier’s heart twist.

Time was a funny thing. How had he only been fucking Geralt for 4 years, when he’d spent the better part of the last 15 chasing after the old witcher, sleeping in camper vans and slumming it across the Continent while Geralt worked through his contracts. Jaskier had known so little back then. Before he knew any better, witchers were villains from that old Herakles knock-off series that he used obsessively watch with his sisters. And after that day in the pub in Posada, listening to Geralt break down every single way Jaskier had been wrong about his song, he couldn’t believe his eyes. Geralt was an actual, real-life witcher. Sure Geralt wasn’t pumped full of mutagens, but the potions were real. So were his fighting skills, and his encyclopedia knowledge of monsters and curses.

These days Geralt looked every bit of a man in his late 60s, weathered by his trade and age. His tits sagged and the crevasses of lines grew deeper every year around his neck—and thankfully, Yennefer kept Geralt amply moisturized—but Geralt was still fit enough to take on a wyvern. Still intoxicating to watch. Geralt was more capable and honest than anyone Jaskier had ever met. Didn’t even matter that the man was more than twice Jaskier’s age. Geralt was witty and competent, and comfortable in what he liked, and what he needed. Jaskier admired how Geralt found ways to help people.

There was nothing in the world that made Jaskier’s heart sing when Geralt teased him.

Or when he laid his steady hands on Jaskier’s hips, pulling Jaskier into his lap. Geralt’s mouth was—

“Careful, you’re going to fuck him to death one of these days,” Keira said, a note of wistfulness in her voice.

“He’s already got his hip and knee replaced, he can take it,” Jaskier said without breaking his gaze. Geralt stared back, warm and fond.

“Remember,” Jaskier said and he stepped close, needlessly adjusting the guitar strap on Geralt’s bare shoulder and slowly tracing the guitar strap all the way down his back, “hard and fast. You get a perfect score.”

He pulled Geralt's hair free of the hair-tie and fluffed it until he was suitably disheveled.

“Promises,” Geralt murmured, low enough for Jaskier to hear the hunger in it. Oh, Jaskier was going to have a good night.

“Promises,” Jaskier repeated, the amusement and heat sitting heavy in his chest. He licked his lips and plopped down in the armchair instead of the couch. It gave him a better view of Geralt. Jaskier didn’t need to see the TV. Geralt would demolish the notes in perfect digital harmony and still carry on the flirty conversation with Keira and Priscilla. When Geralt had spent the better part of 50 years wrangling near-extinct monster species into safety, downing poisons and dodging claws larger than Jaskier’s head, Geralt using his reflexes to breeze through Guitar Hero was nothing.

The song began and Jaskier never wanted it to end.

Geralt’s fingers moved smoothly across the buttons and Jaskier loved the way Geralt physically leaned into the chorus. He actually looked like he was enjoying himself, his lips moving--not to the lyrics of the song, but he was keeping count of the beat. Geralt showed off even further, turning 180 degrees to play a few bars with his back facing the TV, earning him another set of whoops from Keira and Priscilla, with Lambert throwing popcorn at his brother. Jaskier didn’t even know when Geralt had time to memorize the song, unless he’d picked up a copy of the game while Jaskier was on tour.

He lost himself to the minute shift of Geralt’s hips and watched Geralt’s lazy smile broaden when he turned around again to face the TV, finishing out the last verse and chorus.

When the song was done, Geralt inclined his head at Jaskier an was clearly holding back a smile. “Any notes?”

Jaskier grinned.

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