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hugshughes · 5 months

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invisible string L. Hughes

Luke Hughes x fem!reader

synopsis - Luke had been one of your closest friends since childhood. Somehow, everything in both of your lives just came back to each other.

wc - 3.8k

contains - cursing, literally nothing, extremeeeeeeeee fluff, kissing, hugging, cuddling, (im just a girl ok), obliviousness, this is a bittttt cliche... THEY CONFESS AND KISS IN THE RAIN OK???? idiots in love, eating and drinking. TAKES PLACE SUMMER 2023 (like end of May???)

an - SLIGHTLY EDITED!!! im hunrgy. anyways THIS WAS SO FCUKINF CUTE TO WRITEEEEEEE. my luke baby is so invisible string😇😇😇😇. ugh i miss him. i (possibly intoxicatedly) karaoked better man by Taylor Swift the other night just fyi. my author notes are like my personal diary because i assume no one reads them. i could prob say my ss number and full name address and no one would ever know. do u guys know how fuckign embarrassing it is to reread a fic u posted a few days ago and find typos like u guys probably think im stupid and hate me now. this was not at all about Luke Hughes or Invisible String... ENJOY BABIES!!!!

green was the color of the grass, where i used to read in centennial park. i used to think i would meet somebody there.

You were what some would call a hopeless romantic. You loved love. You loved reading it, watching it, seeing it in real life, it was just beautiful to you.

You'd grown up with the Hughes boys. They were your neighbors during the summer, your family's lake house being next to theirs. You were the same age as their youngest son, Luke. You two were ride or dies during the summer, and when you finally got a phone in seventh grade, you two texted the rest of the year.

It was finally summer, your school year at Notre Dame had come to a close and you were able to fly home and go to the lake with your family all by May 13th. You watched the final Canes games against the boys, you were sad for them, but so proud of your best friend.

It was nearing June, and you were alone in the lake house, opting out of the afternoon boat ride for some peace and quiet. You walked through the halls, stopping at the dresser covered in summer photos. You and your brother, you and Luke, more you and Luke, and some of your brother and the Hughes.

teal was the color of your shirt, when you were sixteen at the yogurt shop. you used to work at to make a little money.

You noticed one of your favorite photos wasn't there, the one of you and Luke when you were about 16, you're both standing behind the counter at the ice cream place you two worked at during that summer. You spent all day with Luke during those days, and it was the best.

You opened the dresser the photos sat on, seeing more photos. The ice cream shop one, and one you weren't anticipating. You didn't know your mom had printed and framed it. It was you and Luke the summer you were 18, both smiling at the camera with the sunset in the background as you sat on his lap in an Adirondack chair in the backyard of the Hughes' house.

The photo gave you crazy butterflies. That summer was the last time you saw Luke during the summer. Last summer you two were both at the lake at different times, you'd seen his whole family, minus him. His mom told you how he was still with his college teammates on a different Michigan lake. You had to act like you didn't really care, even though you did, so much.

Since the picture was just sitting in the dresser, not on display, you decided to take it to your room. You placed it gently on your bedside table, smiling then leaving to go down to the pool.

time, curious time. gave me no compasses, gave me no signs.

It was weird how you and Luke always seemed to be pulled together. There was some driving force between you two that was unbreakable, not even if you wanted it to. When it wasn't the summer, you lived three hours from the Hughes family, so randomly bumping into Luke was even more bizarre than anything else.

You remember when you were 15, you and your mom were picking up dinner one night at a local place and in walks Luke, Jack, and Ellen. You squealed when you saw him, running over to say hey. The boys had been in town for hockey, weirdly enough.

Interactions like that happened way more often than normal, you randomly bumped into the boy at least once every two or three months for years.

were there clues i didn't see? and isn't it just so pretty to think,

You remember when you were surprised by Luke at age 17. He came and surprised you as your prom date and you were floored. He had flowers and a corsage for you, and his tie matched your dress perfectly. Your moms thought it was the cutest thing ever, how you both blushed and giggled when near each other.

all along there was some invisible string, tying you to me?

Even though you two couldn't seem to get away from each other, neither of you ever made a move romantically. It just didn't seem realistic, you already lived hours away from each other and were going to colleges even farther, well Luke was going to the NHL but you get the point.

You guys were just best friends, always best friends. Your families knew, especially his brothers. They were your biggest fans, probably because they saw how you made their baby brother, how soft he was with you. You made him gentle, but also made him more comfortable and talkative, which Quinn and Jack loved.

ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

Luke made you weak, and your family noticed. You could jokingly bicker with him, but when it came down to real disagreement, you never could with Luke. He just gave you those deep hazel eyes and you were melted on the floor. He was just that person for you. The one who could ask you to do anything under the sun and you'd do it for his praise.

You spent long nights with Luke, sitting in the backyard of one of your lake houses and watching the moon and stars and talking about anything. You could listen to Luke talk about property tax for hours and probably never get bored, that's how much you admired him.

bad was the blood of the song in the cab, on your first trip to L.A. you ate at my favorite spot for dinner.

You remember the weirdest instance of your bumping into each other, you were in Los Angeles with friends during the very beginning of winter break and saw Luke eating in the same restaurant as you with a couple of his friends.

You texted him, not believing what you were seeing. You asked him if he was in L.A. When he responded 'Yes just for a few days why' you were shocked. You stood and made your way across the noisy restaurant and went up to his table, where you put your hand on his shoulder and when he turned around, he was the most surprised he'd been in a long time.

You remember he jumped up, hugging you so tightly, pulling away with his jaw still dropped. You guys always told each other you had to stop meeting 'like this', but it never seemed to stop.

The next day, you two planned to branch out from your friends and meet up for lunch. You guys drove a little ways from Los Angeles, east into the country, and ate at the cutest restaurant that had a view of a lake. You two always found yourselves together by lakes.

bold was the waitress on our three year trip, getting lunches down by the lake. she said i looked like an american singer.

You remember how bold your waitress was at that restaurant, immediately boasting about how she thought you two were the cutest couple she'd ever seen. Your face was burning hot, trying not to have a breakdown in the middle of the restaurant. It got even worse when Luke didn't correct her and just said 'Thank you', instead.

That was the last time you saw Luke, you were hoping to see him very soon, though. It had been almost two weeks since the loss to the Canes, so it made sense for the boys to be arriving soon. You'd already seen Ellen and Jim a couple of nights on the back porch with your parents, but no 6'2 boys named Luke were to be seen.

time, mystical time. cutting me open then healing me fine. were there clues i didn't see?

You'd had two boyfriends in your life. One in your 8th-grade year and freshman year of high school, then one in your junior year of high school. You'd broken up with boyfriend #2 because you realized you compared him to Luke, every move he made, you compared to Luke. It made you feel terrible, but you were head over heels for another boy.

You and Luke had your senior sunrises on the same day during your senior years, and decided to skip them and drive to the lake to watch the sunrise together. Your moms were furious, but it was one of the best memories you had with him.

Your interest in each other was so painfully obvious that most of your and his family referred to you as his girl during the summer. 'Where's Luke's girl?', or 'We're just waiting for Moose's girl.' It was never when you two were in the same room, so your reactions were always priceless.

and isn't it just so pretty to think, all along there was some invisible string, tying you to me?

Your family was back from their afternoon boating escapade and you could hear them all bustling in. The second they walked in you heard your brother shout for you.

"Moosey's girl! Come down here!"

ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

You blushed madly, getting up from your bed and walking down the stairs with an annoyed look on your face. When you got to the bottom of the stairs you could see your sister-in-law slapping your brother across the back of his head, telling him to leave you alone.

"What do you want?"

You immediately went from annoyed to overjoyed when your almost two year old niece ran over to you, shouting out your name. You picked her up, giving her a kiss on her tubby cheek, embracing her sandy and salt water ridden love.

"We're going out to dinner in like, an hour and a half? Honestly just whenever we can get that little monster bathed and dressed."

You nodded but immediately jumped to defend your little best friend.

"This thing? This baby is an angel, aren't you?"

The little girl nodded, a sassy smile on her face as she tried to say 'angel, dada.' in her slurred toddler speech.

"See?"

Your brother gave you both a look, before springing into action to grab his baby, tickling all the giggles and sqeals out of her.

You talked and played for a little longer before getting ready to go. You quickly showered and dried your hair, putting on a little linen white summer dress, and your old pair of Birkenstocks. You drove with your brother and sister-in-law on the way to dinner, sitting next to your niece in the backseat.

a string that pulled me out of all the wrong arms, right into that dive bar.

You guys were seated immediately at the restaurant, you sat between your sister-in-law and dad at the table, just close enough to talk to your favorite niece.

The restaurant was a popular spot for locals and tourists near the lake. It had a big bar in the middle and lots of tables surrounding, it was loud, but not obnoxious, and very homey. You'd probably been there over a hundred times in your life.

You were watching a random golf tournament on one of the many TVs in the bar when your brother called out your name. You looked up and the look on his face was excitement and shock.

"Look who happened to show up!"

something wrapped up all of my past mistakes, in barbed wire. chains around my demons. wool to brave the seasons.

He pointed behind him, and your eyes followed the trail to the entrance, where you saw none other than Luke Hughes standing with his family, waiting to be seated. Your jaw dropped, and a smile came over you. You saw Quinn hit Luke and then point directly at you, and when your eyes met Luke's, you could've fainted. He was in khakis and a white polo and looked so handsome.

You stood up, mumbling something to your family before practically running over to the entrance, throwing your arms around Luke.

one single thread of gold tied me to you.

"Holy shit."

Luke had his arms wrapped around you so tightly, he was so surprised to see you. He knew he would have seen you tomorrow if not tonight but he still just missed you and was shocked.

"We have gotta stop meeting like this."

You giggled when you pulled away from him, as reluctant as you were on the inside. You quickly hugged the rest of his family, not without Jack whispering, 'hey Moose's girl' to you.

You pleaded with the bar staff to push more tables together so you could sit with the Hughes, and it didn't take much convincing, seeing they'd known you since you were 6.

You sat next to Luke after the readjustment for the new tables, now sitting between him and your niece, who had all but thrown a fit about how she wanted to sit by you, not her dad, which made you laugh in his face.

At some point, you'd taken the baby from her high chair and brought her into your lap. You and Luke were both in your little world with her, she was so cute and loving. You guys didn't notice how practically the whole table stared at you with knowing eyes, they all knew, everyone except for you two.

The food came, and the baby was back in her seat. You just talked and talked and talked to Luke. You'd last seen him in December, and there was just so much to say. You'd both had tons of stuff happen to you, his NHL career, your career, everything was so exciting to tell him about.

Luke was so heavily infatuated with you, it was funny. His brothers watched as he folded for you so easily, admiring every syllable that left your mouth, nodding like a man possessed. They mumbled to each other, making fun of their baby brother's obliviousness.

cold was the steel of my axe to grind, for the boys who broke my heart. now i send their babies presents.

At some point, dinner got a little bit boring so you pulled out your phone, and what popped up was the baby registry you were buying something off of for your ex-boyfriend's pregnant wife. It was funny, how everything boiled down. Luke saw the infant clothing on your phone and gave you a questionable look.

"'S there something you're not telling me?"

You looked up at him, then back to your phone, your eyes going wide at the insinuation.

"Oh my God, Luke, no! This is for Darren's soon to be born baby, with his wife.

"Darren? Like your ex boyfriend Darren?"

You nodded, laughing and explaining the whole thing to him. You'd somehow become friends with his now wife in your freshman year of college, her junior year, and with the way the world worked for you of course she was married to your ex-boyfriend.

The rest of the night was perfect, and ended with your whole family, minus your sleeping niece, in the Hughes' backyard around the fire pit. That night you ended up right back where you were in the picture on your nightstand, right in Luke's lap in your favorite Adirondack chair.

You spent the next week with the Hughes boys, specifically your Hughes boy. You drove the boat out on the lake, wake surfed, Luke even convinced you to go golfing, not that it took him very long because you would say yes to anything he asked.

gold were the color of the leaves, when i showed you centennial park.

You sat by Luke at the end of the dock while you two watched the very cloudy sunset. There was supposed to be rain soon, but it didn't mean the sunset wasn't still pretty. Your thighs were pressed together with how close you sat to each other, giving you both warmth in your chest.

Neither of you said anything, but you both felt something when you let your head rest on his shoulder.

"This is so pretty, Lukey. I missed this with you."

It wasn't much, but it was a way to say that you loved him without saying the real words. I missed watching the sunset with you, I've always loved you.

hell was the journey, but it brought me heaven.

"I missed you."

You closed your eyes, you just wanted to be with him, didn't matter where. You could be watching a sunset on the lake or climbing a mountain, if you were with Luke you were happy.

"Think it's gonna rain soon?"

You looked up at him when you asked, your head never leaving his shoulder. He looked down for a second, before looking out at the sky.

time, wondrous time. gave me the blues and then purple-pink skies.

"Probably, but let's just stay for a few more minutes, okay?"

"Okay."

You relaxed into him further. His arm went to your back, rubbing back and forth. It could probably be pouring down rain and you wouldn't even notice, not when you had Luke with you, like this, you were Moose's girl after all.

It started sprinkling, causing you to look back at Luke, waiting to see if he reacted. He didnt, so you just stayed. Rain never hurt anybody, you'd be the last person to ruin this moment complaining about rain.

This was so strange. It felt like you were stuck in time, the gentle rain made you feel encapsulated in the moment. You sat there, staring off at the sky, the sunset was not as clear now with the thick clouds rolling in, but the colors were still there. The rain kept on passing through, the drops gaining weight and speed.

Luke didn't mind the rain, but he didn't want you to feel like he was forcing you out here, so he shifted to stand, grabbing your hand.

"C'mon, you can't get sick during summer."

You sighed, letting him pull you to your feet. He didn't let go of your hand as he turned to pull you back to your house. You don't know what came over you, but the circumstances seemed perfect, you felt like you had to tell him. You pulled him to a stop, and he turned to look with a confused face.

"What's wrong?"

You looked from him to the ground, looking at your feet, the worn dock you'd run around on summer after summer, the lake you grew up swimming with him in. This place was so full of Luke, of you and Luke.

"I, I really like you Luke. Like literally since we were 12, and I, I just.."

You trailed off, looking anywhere but those eyes.

Luke was flabbergasted. That's the only word to describe how he felt. The girl he was in love with, just said she liked him since they were little. He just stared at her, not believing what he heard.

"Are you for real?"

You would've been embarrassed, had you not heard the pure hope in his voice. You nodded, feeling your face heat up. You covered your face with your hands self-consciously. If you could look at Luke's face, you would’ve seen how he was red all from his neck to his ears.

Luke gently grabbed your hands, pulling them away from your face, and replacing them with his own. He tilted your head back so you looked at him, staring at you for just a second before pulling you in, kissing you, finally.

and it's cool, baby, with me.

Holy shit. You were freaking out, you were probably gonna be jumping up and down whenever he decided to stop kissing you. He did pull away, after a long while, when the rain started pouring. The colors of the sunset had been drowned out by the thunderclouds but you two still felt all sunny on the inside.

There was a rumble in the far distance, while you stared at him, and him back at you. You couldn't contain your excitement, you felt like running a marathon.

"Oh my God."

Your hands went back to your face, and you literally jumped. Luke laughed as you surged with happiness. He felt the same way, his smile bigger and brighter than ever before.

You grabbed his hand, tugging him back to your house quickly. You were finally under the cover of your back porch, out of harm's way. You grabbed two towels from the outside cupboards and wrapped yourselves up, you dried your feet off before running up the stairs, Luke hot on your tail.

You two got upstairs and sat on your bathroom counter while you dried off. You talked quietly, giggling an awful lot.

Once you got dry enough, you led him to your bedroom. You grabbed one of his sweatshirts you had before going to take a pair of your brother's shorts, throwing them to Luke when you got back to your room.

"Here, go change so you don't get sick."

You noticed he had more than the stuff you'd just thrown at him in his hands, he had the picture that previously sat on your night stand.

and isn't it just so pretty to think,

"I like this picture, you have to send it to me, baby."

Baby? You could've died. You nodded, mumbling out an butchered agreement, gesturing for him to leave and get dressed again.

While he was gone, you changed into some sweatpants and another one of Luke's sweatshirts, one you'd had for almost two years. When Luke came back into your room, he'd noticed your sweatshirt immediately. It was from his travel team when he was 16, and it made him so happy.

all along there was some invisible string,

You smiled at him sweetly as he walked back over to you, grabbing your face and kissing you for the second time in the last thirty minutes. You got the same butterflies you'd had living inside you since you were a little girl. This boy had been living in your head since you'd known him, and he was finally yours after you'd been his girl for so many years.

tying you to me?

You both pulled away, wrapping each other in a hug. Luke rocked you two back and forth, leaving kisses on your head.

"I love you, Moosey."

"I love you."

ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh he-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

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mxqlss · 3 months

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BETTY. — LH43

Sypnosis: In which, Luke realizes how he misses reader after cheating on her in August and now has to deal with trying to get you back.

Pairing: Luke Hughes x Reader (Song-wise: Betty)

jess’ song choice:

September of 2020.

Betty, I won't make assumptions About why you switched your homeroom, but I think it's cause of me

Luke sat in class, listening to the teacher speak until he noticed reader wasn't in the room. With that he raised his hand "Uhm, Miss where is Y/N?" he asked in confusion as to why she wasn't there.

"Ms. L/N has switched homeroom classes, she will no longer be in this class anymore," she said as Luke's eyes widened. He knew exactly why she switched classes after that, he knew he fucked up big time but he didn't think that she would switch classes because of it.

You heard the rumours from Inez You can't believe a word she says Most times, but this time, it was true

Everyone was whispering around her. Luke always wondered why, because every time they whispered to her they always pointed at him. Till he found out that everyone knew about what he did this summer.

He looked around him to which he found Y/N's eyes staring right at him, her eyes looking glassy and her lips trembling, once her eyes met Luke's she turned around and walked away.

Luke always tried to find a way to talk to her with no one else around them but everytime he would see her she would end up walking the opposite way from him, completely ignoring him at all costs.

But if I just showed up at your party Would you have me? Would you want me? Would you tell me to go fuck myself

Luke sat in his room in the middle of November with a box in front of him. A box he wanted to give her for her 17th birthday. It was filled with memories of them and her favourite things like candy and things they did together, along with a letter to her about how much he loved her.

He kept contimplating wether he should go or not, he wanted to go but he didn't think she would want him there after what he did. She kept ignoring him at school so why would he go? What would she say to him if he showed up at her doorstep? Tell him to go fuck himself? Would she want him there to begin with?

In the garden would you trust me If I told you it was just a summer thing? I'm only seventeen, I don't know anything But I know I miss you

Luke sat up from his bed and walked over to his shelf with memories and gifts from you that he kept as his trophies. In his head he kept asking himself why he did it when he was with her. As tears started to stream down his face he knew he fucked up big time and deep down he knows he misses her and loves y/n so much.

As Luke took deep breaths and wiped the tears off his face he yet again contemplated wether he should go or not, looking back at the gift he had for her. He wanted to go to her house so bad and just hug her and kiss her telling her how much he hated being away from her and how he hated what he did to you. He knew as a seventeen-year-old he didn't know what he was doing and for infact he knew nothing at all about how to love.

It affected him so bad that it interfered with his hockey. Making him mess up every game and practice, listening to his coaches yell at him not understanding how he went from becoming a great player to a messy and unorganized one, and even dealing with his brothers telling him how bad he's fucked up and how it affected him so bad he had to do something about it sooner.

Betty, I'm here on your doorstep And I planned it out for weeks now But it's finally sinkin' in

Luke stood there staring at the door in front of him. The door he would go to every few nights to take his girl to dinners and dates or even to hang out with her at her house. It finally sank in that he was there, holding her gift in hand as he rang the doorbell while loud music was playing in the house that you could hear it from outside.

It took him weeks to convince himself to go to her house, even if it meant for her to yell and scream at him to get out or go away and never contact her or approach her at all.

Betty, right now is the last time I can dream about what happens when You see my face again The only thing I wanna do Is make it up to you

As the door opened, his gaze caught hers. She was wearing one of his favourite dresses he had bought for her. In his favourite colour. She stared at him briefly, wondering why he had come to her door.

"Luke.. you showed up?.." she asked, tears starting to form in her eyes. He let out a deep breath and nodded. "Yeah, uhm.. here's your birthday gift. Happy birthday, Y/N" he let out one of his smiles, making her heart break even more. As she examined his face, she noticed his features, all the baggy eyes and puffy bloodshot eyes.

Luke had done the same and noticed how her face looked like she had been crying for the past month not getting much sleep. It had both affected them like crazy. They had both missed each other's simple gestures they would do for each other.

Behind Y/N was a picture frame of both of them, sitting at the lake house one year. Jack had taken the picture and sent it to his mom and her mom where they had both printed the picture and had it in their houses.

"You still have the photo framed.." Luke smiled softly again, making Y/N nod and give one of the smallest smiles. "Yeah, It never left that spot," she said as she looked behind her and back at him, tears now running down her face

Yeah, I showed up at your party Will you have me? Will you love me? Will you kiss me on the porch In front of all your stupid friends?

Luke and Y/N were now on the porch with the door still wide open, tears streaming down their faces as they talked. Luke had wiped his tears before wiping hers leaving his hand resting on her cheek. Her hand held the hand on her cheek, melting into his soft touch.

They both kept on talking and comforting each other till Luke had to leave as he had practice in the morning. As his hand left her cheek, she began to feel lost without his touch and him to guide her like he always did, they were perfect but it's always the right person wrong time.

As he began to leave he just wanted to feel her lips against his one last time, would it always be the same kiss he dreamed of when he kissed her? He stood there facing away from her before turning to face her again, she stood there as she watched him leave. Watching the one she wanted to marry and be with for the rest of her life walk away.

If you kissed me, will it be just like I dreamed it? Will it patch your broken wings? I'm only seventeen, I don't know anything But I know I miss you

"I hope you know, I miss you.."

"I miss you too, Lukey."

authors note!

I thought of this today and finished today.. which was kinda odd but it’s whatever! I hope you liked it since its my first time writing something like this instead of insta posts!

I have more works but im trying to perfect them so its good and not all choppy like this one! Overall I hope you liked this! If not, thats okay!

xoxo jess

#Spotify #☾ ﹒✩ 𝖏𝖊𝖘𝖘 ‹𝟹 ﹕ʬ﹒∿#luke hughes #luke hughes x reader #nhl fic #nhl #nhl hockey #new jersey #new jersey devils #nj devils #njd #hockey #angst??#folklore album #taylor swift song #betty taylor swift #luke hughes fluff #luke hughes smut #luke hughes angst

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sunflower-lilac42 · 4 months

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✧ 𝐍𝐇𝐋 𝐗 𝐓𝐀𝐘𝐋𝐎𝐑 𝐒𝐖𝐈𝐅𝐓 ♔

every taylor swift song as a hockey player(s)

✎ ABOUT THE EVENT ⇘ : :

➺ the players i am writing for are: jack hughes, nico hischier, quinn hughes, luke hughes, connor bedard, lukas reichel, cole caufield, mat barzal, trevor zegras, jamie drysdale, adam fantilli, luca fantilli, matthew knies, mitch marner, and a lot do others just ask! if a fic pairing is nhl x whatever, than it means everyone included above

➺ i will be doing request for this series! i will start with all of her own songs and as debut and reputation tv, plus any new albums she comes out with, i will add the vault tracks and the album songs. yes, i will be doing other songs she has made/covered (last christmas, christmas tree farm, i don't want to live forever, etc.)

➺ if there are two players for a song it either means that there is a conflict with them or there will be two fics, one for each. for right now there are no plots because I am allowing request for them. some of these fics have the same person/plot as my celly but they will never be the same fic!

➺ right now, a lot of the fics don't have a plot/player, but requesting for this series works like this: request the song you want me to write a fic for, let me know if you want me to change the person i originally had (if any), and who i should make it for, or if i should keep it the same, and then do a plot the revolves around the song. also you can make what ever pairings you want (throuple, platonic, siblings, friends, romance, etc.) (the whole fic doesn't have to be the entire song, it could be based off a specific lyric/lyrics) if i don't approve of the player change i will not change the player but i might use the plot idea with proper premission.

➺ if any writer is open to, i will gladly accept help for this event. taylor as a shit ton of songs and this might take me years to get through, so let me know if you want to write. if the song already has a plot/player, i would prefer you use that but you can change it if you want, just ask me first, please!

➺ each album is associated with a team, yet i did this based on color not by the team itself, so let me know if i should change that and if you have ideas for it

➺ if a fic already as a plot, please do not request for it!

➺ if fic has an asterisk next to it, it means that somebody has requested that specific player with the song so you cannot request it again

➺ if you want to be added to the taglist, click here ➺ taglist!

➺ over time, a lot of the fics will correspond/connect iwth each other (such as the nhl x hockey player!reader ones), much like taylor's songs themselves, so soon there will be a guide to these fics ➺ guide!

➺ everything for this event can be found under here ➺ event tag!

✎ ALBUM LINKS ⇘ : :

taylor swift (debut)

fearless

speak now

red

1989

reputation

lover

folklore

evermore

midnights

the tortured poets department

more taylor

✎ PLAYER LINKS ⇘ : :

nico hischier

luke hughes

quinn hughes

trevor zegras

jack hughes

hughes brothers

all others

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bella-rose29 · 2 months

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the jockwood universe (college au)

basically jockwood is a thing now, and these are the generic world building hc's of this au :)

essentially what's going to happen is a bunch of x reader fics set within this universe, all probably slightly different but every one of them set with this same background to them, so... yeah!

(also a special thank you to the multiverse of George for helping answer my pestering questions)

Lockwood is on the football team/part of the university football society

Also the fencing society

George and Lockwood are friends from high school but are in separate circles in college

George is also on the ice hockey team

Kipps is on the football team too

When they were like… preteens or something Kipps and Lockwood had a friendly football match where they were on opposing teams

Lockwood’s team beat Kipps’ by… a lot (and Kipps totally isn’t bitter about it)

Holly is a student rep

Lucy is in debate club and fencing

Skull is a campus cat who hisses and scratches everyone but Lucy

He’s called Skull bc he’s got a weird patch on his head that looks a bit like a skull

And also Lucy seems to always know what Skull wants?? It’s like she can actually talk to him or something 👀

Barnes is a very tired senior lecturer who is the academic advisor to the trio + Holly and Kipps, and he wishes they would stop hogging his office hours

The Winkmans are a family who live in town and sit on their porch every morning shouting abuse at people who walk past

Bobby!!! On the football team and also in band (plays the clarinet probably)

Kate and Ned as well - both on the football team and hang out with Kipps obviously, along with Bobby

Rotwells College is in the same town/city and often competes against the Fittes university (that Penelope is head of)

Flo goes to Rotwells’ and is in their fencing society, but she sneaks onto the Fittes campus all the time to feed the ducks and throw frozen peas at passing students

Visitors - there’s a lot of local folklore and haunted buildings, and Lockwood and Co go and investigate because they’re Like That

Technology is modern, and as such they have phones

And group chats

Obviously Lockwood and Co is the name of Lockwood, Lucy, George, and Holly’s group chat

Lockwood is surprisingly old-fashioned when it comes to technology though? Like he has a record player and cassette tapes in his room that he just whips out every now and then

People’s courses/degrees!

Lockwood’s course is chemical engineering with fine art/art history

George - chemistry

Lucy - English (language and literature)

Holly - English literature + publishing

Kipps - Architecture (but he’s a dick about it)

Ned - Spanish/Spanish + international development

Kat - chemical engineering

Bobby - history

Flo - classical and archaeological studies

tag list:

@no-morning-glories, @t2sh0, @informedimagining, @strawberryloveyyy, @chameleon021, @demigoddess-of-ghosts, @genderfluid-anime-goth, @cottagecore-babe, @ahead-fullofdreams, @light-23, @locknco, @briar-rose23, @mischivana, @ell0ra-br3kk3r, @superpositvecloudshipper, @mrsyixingunicorn10, @mitskiswift99, @anathemaloren, @ran23sblog, @taygrls, @dangelnleif, @el-de-phi, @augustisintheair, @wordsarelife, @tournesol77, @novelizt, @anthonylockwoodandco111, @curseofhecate, @karensirkobabes, @mrsklockwood, @whenselenefallsinlove, @zoom1374, @a-taken-url

and the multiverse of George (of course): @avdiobliss, @neewtmas, @oblivious-idiot, @bobbys-not-that-small, @lewkwoodnco, @uku-lelevillain, and @maraschinomerry 💕

I'm aware that there are a lot of people and if I've forgotten you then I am so so sorry (my tag lists are all over the place whoops), so if there is anybody who wants to be added to my lockwood tag list, then please go here!

I am aware that it has been a while, but from now on I will be checking this post every time I write a new fic to see who is there, so head on over to give a comment or a like and I'll pop you on for next time! <3

#jockwood #lockwood and co college au #lockwood and co #lockwood & co #anthony lockwood #anthony lockwood x reader #quill kipps #quill kipps x reader #lucy carlyle #lucy carlyle x reader #george karim #george karim x reader #skull #holly munro #holly munro x reader #maybe #I think that's it???

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yankstrash · 4 months

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rylie x will 🤎

✰ will and rylie

✰ mood board

✰ tag (mini fics + blurbs & asks)

✰ au description

they met each other in class. will had a little crush on rylie for a while but she didn't like him because of his hockey rep

they got assigned to work together on a project, and although rylie wasn't particularly happy to be working with him, there was nothing she could do about it

after working together for a while and really getting to know will, he showed her that he wasn't some cocky jock and that he was actually a really nice guy

they ended up working really well together and got to know each other fairly well

they're very different people as far as what they like to do, but will showed her how much he liked her by studying what she likes and familiarizing himself with her world

after the project ended will asked her out (post a few rejections) and she agreed

their relationship was a bit of a slow burn, but it was all worth it <3

✰ rylie

rylie l/n

freshman at boston college

majoring in art with a minor in education

originally from massachusetts

her birthday is april 5 (aries queen!)

her taylor swift era is folklore

she's 5'1

she's sweet, not necessarily quiet but keeps to herself a bit

would rather hangout with 1 or 2 friends rather than a big group

mostly hangs out with her art friends

✰ will

will smith

freshman at boston college

forward for the boston college mens ice hockey team

drafted #4 overall to the san jose sharks in the 2023 nhl draft

originally from lexington, massachusetts

his birthday is march 17 (pisces man!)

✰ imagines

jealous will

jealous will pt. 2

✰ daily thoughts

✰ relationship dynamics

✰ insta edits

#rylie x will au #will smith #boston college hockey

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puckluckie · 6 months

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Sidney Crosby/Evgeni Malkin • 12.868 words • Teen and Up

When the stranger moved into Old Lew’s cabin, the only thing that Zhenya found odd about it was that anyone would choose to live in that ramshackle building at all. Maybe he should have paid more attention to his mother's stories.

A @sidgenospookyfest fic for @cascara-soda. Thank you to the mods for organizing the event!

Alternate Universe, Not Hockey Players, Mythical Beings & Creatures, Folklore, Getting Together, attempts at creepiness and gothic tones, Mysterious Strangers, Sidney Crosby's infamous banana bread, Implied Sexual Content

Read on AO3

#puckluckie fic #ship: sidgeno #oh hey super late in posting this #with a header that took me ~5 minutes haha #rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated #I'm still here I'm just trying to coordinate a cross country move by myself #hence why I haven't been able to read any of the other fics yet 😭😭😭#but I can't wait to when I finally have a few minutes to sit still!#I always love this fest so much!!

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zozo-01 · 1 year

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tag 9 people you’d like to get to know better

thank you thank you for the tag @morgansplace!!!!!!

3 ships: church/texas (rvb), york/carolina (rvb) and kaz/inej (six of crows)

first ever ship: KAJOL AND SHAH RUKH KHAN!!!!! THEY ARE STILL TOGETHER IN MY HEART!!!!!!

last song: Tempted by Jazz Cartier!!!! gotta rep the hometown rappers!!!!!!!

last movie: Happy New Year!! It’s a Bollywood movie that is so fucking absurd and so full of heart and I’d love to watch it with all y’all!!!!!

currently reading: Hehe, aside the many fanfics, Silvered Scars by @taelonsamada!!!! Yes this is and reread and yes I will never not recommend it

currently watching: My favourite hockey podcast, SDPN!!!! Yes I am a nerd, but it’s also my go to podcast for when I want to write!!!

currently consuming: “Four Functions of Folklore” by William Bascom (1965) and “Textual Poachers” by Henry Jenkins (2013), both recommended by the lovely @friendlyfaded!!!

currently craving: Man I’m craving to get this Sam/Darlin’ deity au multi chaptered fic doneeee!!!! I’m halfish way done with Chapter One!!!!

Tagging some mutuals I need to talk to moreeee!!!

@sealriously-sealrious, @belovedbow, @slushrottweiler, @dominimoonbeam, @romirola, @lovelylonerliterature, @autisticempathydaemon, @pchberrytea and @strawberrychrome!!!!!

#zozo lore #i am alwaysssss down to make new friendssss #this is zo speaking

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seattlekrakenpromptmeme · 1 year

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It's: Started From The Bottom of The Puget Sound: Year Two! This year we're doing a themed week - it's much like a high school spirit week, but with more ocean creatures. Choose one theme, choose many themes, or even choose no themes! Each day of the fest has a theme, but the themes are a loose guideline, not a hard and fast rule. Questions? Check out Fanlore's List of Tropes & Genres, read our fest FAQ or hit us up in our ask box.

Themes

Saturday, April 15th — Fuck Portland (Washington as Character): Seattle Tourism ∘ Washington Living ∘ Pacific Northwest Mythology and Folklore ∘ Coffeeshop, Tech, and Music AUs

Sunday, April 16th — 12 Draft Picks (Rookies & AHL Call-Ups): Coming of Age ∘ Rookie Initiation ∘ Age Gap/Age Difference ∘ Punk, Social Media, and Small Town AUs

Monday, April 17th — Down In the Deep (Kraken Aesthetics): Monsters Made Them Do It ∘ Sex Pollen ∘ Canadian Cascadia Shack ∘ Fishing, Pirate, and Marine Biologist AUs

Tuesday, April 18th — 4 Alternates, No Captain (Vets & the Leadership Core): Right Place, Wrong Time ∘ Future Fic ∘ Career-Ending Injury ∘ Non-Hockey Seattle Sports AU

Wednesday, April 19th — Greater Seattle Polycule (Players in Situations): Genderswap/Cis-swap ∘ Gay Bars ∘ And They Were Roommates ∘ Curtain Fic, Kid Fic, and Historical AUs

Thursday, April 20th — Squid Squad (Romance & Friendship): Accidental Marriage ∘ Friends to Lovers ∘ Huddling For Warmth ∘ Sugar Daddy, Werewolves, and Pacific Rim AUs

Friday, April 21st — Yeet The Fish (The Whole Team!): Team as Family ∘ Fake/Pretend Relationship ∘ Red Thread of Fate ∘ Modern Royalty, Urban Fantasy, and Sentinel AUs

Saturday, April 22 — Last day to post fanworks!

#seattle kraken #coachella firebirds #fanfic #fanwork #fanwork fest #hockey rpf #hockey #ao3 #also a new post for the one month countdown!#truly fighting for my life in canva tonight but it's like 1am so i gave up after 30 minutes lmao

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koolkat9 · 9 months

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WIP Tag Game

Thanks for the tag @balladofthewhitehorse

Rules: Reveal the titles of the documents in your WIP folder and tag as many people as there are documents. Let others ask questions about the ones that interest them and post snippets or explain the contents as you see fit!

I did this before so I'll put the ones I already posted under the cut because again, perhaps people asking about them will get me motivated to write.

I do have some new outlines to share because where I work we got slow periods where a lot of us will do something like word searches or in my case writing...so...

NEW OUTLINES

NedCan "Dancer" AU - It's actually a NedCan stripper AU (but I wrote this when I had free time at work so...I didn't want people being suspicious). It would be a long fic though and I only have the prologue/first chapter outlined.

CuCan Cottage - CuCan obviously

GerEng Hot Day - GerEng obviously

Art + Lud Stuffies - GerEng + stuffed animals

Everyone Boosting Lud's Spirits - Nations Free AU - An ensemble fic with some German Bros and GerEng.

Royal Red Bros - Mattie Playing in Mud - England + Canada

GerEng - Future - Nations Free AU - GerEng

GerEng Tongue Piercing - GerEng

GerEng Feeing Birds - GerEng

Matt Ficking of to the Woods -> Allie Finds him - Scotland + Canada

NedCan - Nude Painting - NedCan

Art Motorcycle - GerEng

FROM THE LAST POST

CURRENTLY BEING WRITTEN OUT

Arthur Meeting Lud’s Dogs - Obviously GerEng

Count Your Blessings (Chapter 3) - England + Canada

GerFruk Arthur Sick fic - GerFruk

Got a Secret Can You Keep it? - GerEng (nsfw)

Day 6 - Folklore || Pining - FACE Fam + Fruk (this was originally going to be something for Fruk week but I couldn’t get myself to finish it in time since it is very long, but I do plan on returning to it)

Cardverse Fic - GerEng is the main focus, but there will also be Itapan, probably some platonic Al and Art, platonic Arthur and Yao, Scotfra, and so much more. Don’t know when it will be posted since I want to finish one of my other multichapter fics before jumping onto another.

German Bros - Germany + Prussia (originally planned as a Father’s Day fic but I ran out of time. Probably won’t get posted until Father’s Day 2024)

Untitled - EngUkr (I think this was supposed to be a birthday fic, but then I ran out of time and just haven’t finished it yet)

GerEng Hurt/Comfort Hospital - GerEng, England + America

Pruk Spice - Pruk (nsfw)

Subspace - GerEng (nsfw)

Top England x Bottom BFT - BFT x England (nsfw. Based on a prompt on the hetalia kink meme)

ONLY OUTLINE (Break because this is where it gets long)

FACE Fam Sick Fic - FACE Fam + Fruk

Omega Ludwig being taken care of at a meeting (inspired by a convo on my spicy blog)

Ludwig’s Birth + Gil’s Anxiety - little Germany + Prussia (and Germania, though it’s more like he’s there in spirit with him possibly actually being present)

Francis Caring for Matt’s Hair - France + Canada

GerEng + Peter Sick fic - Obviously GerEng + Peter

Fruk Death Fic - Fruk (I promise it’s only temporary Character Death)

Arthur and Kiku taking Matt to a convention - England + Japan + Canada

FACE Fam Matt is Injured in Hockey - FACE Fam + Fruk

CuCan Beach Prompt - CuCan

CuCan Winter Prompt - CuCan

GerEng laying in Bed all day because Arthur is depressed and mentally drained - GerEng + an appearance by Ludwig’s dogs possibly

Canmano First Meeting - Canmano + a little bit of Ameliet

Art + Matt WW1

Arthur Getting Merlin - England + the kitten I gave him named Merlin

GerEng exercise Buddies - GerEng

Fruk Kiss Prompt - Fruk

Royal Red Bros Storm - England + little Canada

Matt Comforting Arthur after a Nightmare - England + little Canada

Lud Picking up Arthur after he fell asleep in a weird position - GerEng

Ludwig Cleaning Arthur’s Wounds After a Bar Fight

NyoCanUkr smut - Nyo Canada x Ukraine (nsfw)

Pet Play GerEng - GerEng

EngUkr Spice - EngUkr

CanCu Omegaverse - CuCan (nsfw. Based on prompt from Hetalia Kink Meme)

GerEng Thunder Storm - GerEng + Aster (Lud’s dog)

Matthew + Fran and Fran’s Fear of Planes - France + Canada

GerEng Late Night - GerEng

I forgot the tag let's see...what other writers do I know...

@needcake @redds-art828 @averyblair and I can't think of anyone else. Anyone who wants to jump onto this. Go right ahead. Consider this your tag. (No pressure to anyone though)

#wip #tag game #fanfiction #hetalia fanfiction #hetalia

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linskywords · 1 year

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Taylor Swift Meets Hockey RPF: A 2022 Advent Calendar

Hello friends. I’m so excited to announce the advent calendar you never knew you wanted: the countdown of the 25 ficciest Taylor Swift songs, specifically as they apply to hockey RPF!

We’ve long been aware here in the fic community that Ms. Swift’s lyrics provide excellent titles. But just how ficcy are her songs, really? I’ve set out to answer that question via an extremely scientific* ranking project that combines three things I love dearly: hockey RPF, Taylor Swift songs, and making ranked lists of things.

*It was not even a little bit scientific

If you share any of these interests, you may be asking the following questions:

Q. I’m so excited! But what does this advent calendar actually consist of?

A. What a good question. Every day I’ll do a write-up of one of the songs, starting with the least ficcy of the 25 on 12/1 and getting ficcier each day up until Christmas, when the ficciness will reach its peak and we’ll explode with the joy of repressed men pining for each other.

Q. Are you actually going to write a story for each song?

A. Hahaha no. But I am going to pick a pairing that I think fits the song the best and say a little about how their story would go, and if I get intrigued enough by any of it I might write the story eventually.

Q. You’re going to let us know which song lyrics you’d use to title the story, though, right?

A. Of course.

Q. How can I keep track of these posts?

A. This post will act as a master post as soon as I’ve started the countdown.

Q. How about a playlist so we can listen along?

A. I got you right here! It’s empty now, and I’ll add songs as soon as they’re revealed.

Q. But wait! There’s so much variety in fanfiction, even just within hockey RPF. What does “ficciest” actually mean?

A. The ficciness of each song has been determined via the extremely objective method of me thinking about it really, really hard. I’m not aiming for all of fandom here; my frame of reference is men’s hockey RPF, specifically slash, specifically the kinds of stories I most enjoy reading/writing.

Q. Isn’t that kind of arbitrary?

A. Shhhhhh.

Q. Okay but that means pining is going to be front and center, right?

A. Absolutely it does.

Q. So…you actually went through all of Taylor Swift’s discography for this?

A. Let’s just say my Spotify Wrapped is a little extreme this year.

Q. Aside from screwing your Spotify stats all to hell, did you come across any trends in the ficciness of her music that you’d like to share with us?

A. I’m so glad you asked! As part of determining the top 25, I rated every Taylor Swift song in her 10 studio albums (Taylor’s Version where available) on a scale of 0-10 for applicability to hockey RPF. Her albums ranked as follows:

Reputation (2017): 4.79 average ficciness rating

Lover (2019): 4.39

Taylor Swift (2006): 4

Speak Now (2010): 3.88

Red (2012): 3.55

Folklore (2020): 3.41

Fearless (2008): 3.4

Midnights (2022): 3.3

Evermore (2020): 3

1989 (2014): 2.77

Honestly I was pretty surprised by how this shook out. I expected ficciness to be at its peak in her first few albums, but nope. It was reasonably high at the start, and it did decline as she transitioned from country to pop with 1989, but then it shot up to new heights in Reputation and Lover. These are, not coincidentally, the two albums she wrote during and just after the start of her relationship with her current partner. This makes sense to me: the pining of the early albums is all well and good, but there are also a lot of songs about breakups, which did not do well in the ficciness ratings. After Lover, things went a little more as expected: the ficciness leveled off again, and her three most recent albums all ended up in the bottom half. Here's a fancy graph of the results:

That said, averages don’t tell you everything. Her first album is less ficcy than Lover on average but does far better in the top 25. Folklore is above Fearless by average rating, but it only has one song in the top 25 versus Fearless’s four. In fact, there were three albums that had only one song make it in, and 1989, least ficcy of them all, managed to squeak in twice. So “average ficciness” and “number of extremely ficcy songs” turned out to be very different stats.

Q. That's fun. Do you have any more charts?

A. I sure do! Here's one I made of how many songs came in at each rating from 1-10:

Basically, there were a lot of songs that weren't ficcy even a little bit, declining in number towards the mediocrely ficcy at 5. Then the count started going up again with songs that had enough ficcy content to be considered but maybe didn't quite hit the nail on the head. There were only a few songs that were real bullseyes.

When it came to narrowing things down, everything 7 and above got further consideration. About half the 7s made it, and almost all the 8s (there were a few I left out for various reasons). All the 9s and 10s got in.

Q. You’ve infected my brain with this, and now I’m curious how you’d rate this one song of hers I’m thinking about.

A. Shoot me an ask! If it isn’t in the top 25 I’ll answer with the ficciness rating I gave it and why.

Q. Thank you, this was exactly the extremely niche advent calendar I was hoping for this year.

A. Universal appeal, that’s my goal!

Day One: Speak Now Day Two: Blank Space Day Three: Sparks Fly Day Four: Girl at Home Day Five: Come Back...Be Here Day Six: 22 Day Seven: Breathe Day Eight: Willow Day Nine: Cruel Summer Day Ten: Long Live Day Eleven: I Know Places Day Twelve: I Think He Knows Day Thirteen: Snow On The Beach Day Fourteen: Peace Day Fifteen: Call It What You Want Day Sixteen: Fearless Day Seventeen: Untouchable Day Eighteen: I'm Only Me When I'm With You Day Nineteen: Invisible Day Twenty: Gorgeous Day Twenty-One: Dress Day Twenty-Two: Treacherous Day Twenty-Three: Teardrops On My Guitar Day Twenty-Four: I'd Lie Day Twenty-Five: You Belong With Me

#honestly i have no idea why i did this but i got SO INTO IT #please feast on the fruits of my weirdness #advent 2022 #ficciest taylor #masterpost #hockey rpf #taylor swift #thanks chartgo.com for those charts

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girlylukehughes · 10 months

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hard launch

part two of the folklore hockey fic :)

part one, part two, part three, part four

y/nhughes just posted!

liked by edwards.73, jackhughes, and 135,388 others

y/nhughes: moosey appreciation post before he kills me :)

load comments...

lhughes06- thank you?????

lhughes06- but why would i kill you?

—y/nhughes- just wait!

jackhughes- HE DOES LOOK LIKE THE RABBIT THING

—y/nhughes- I KNOW😭

markestapa- i love you lukey😁

—lhughes06- oh my god

——markestapa- y/nhughes you think he's figured it out?

———y/nhughes nah i don't think so

edwards.73- rutgermcgroarty oh my god it's happening

—rutgermcgroarty- we've been waiting for this one!

load more comments...

y/nhughes just posted!

liked by markestapa and 234,711 others

y/nhughes: i dreamt of you all summer long

tagged: markestapa

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jackhughes- trevorzegras oh thank god i thought it was gonna be you tbh

—y/nhughes- gross

——trevorzegras- ouch.

lhughes06- could be worse i guess. it could be ethan.

—edwards.73- okay what the fuck?

markestapa- my girl forever and always<3

—y/nhughes- mwah mwah mwah

——lhughes06- barf

markestapa just posted!

liked by y/nhughes and 367,729 others

markestapa: i'd give you my sunshine, give you my best

tagged: y/nhughes

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y/nhughes- you're so cute i wanna kiss your face

—markestapa- omw

lhughes06- get this off my feed.

—lhughes06- i'm gonna be sick

——y/nhughes- drama queen

edwards.73- props to me for being the official third wheel/cameraman

—markestapa- you're annoying(thank you)

load more comments...

masterlist

#mark estapa #mark estapa x reader #umich imagine #umich hockey #umich fic #folklore hockey fic!

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hugshughes · 5 months

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illicit affairs J. Hughes

Jack Hughes x fem!reader

synopsis - You were his secret, and you loved it until you realized why he really kept you one.

wc - 2.6k

contains - crying, angst, no happy ending! (not for jack x reader anyway, you know i can't leave my reader hurt by boys forever), few mentions of sex but NO SMUT AT ALL!!!! manipulation, asshole!jack, cursing, drinking. let me know!

an - ugh. this one was sad, illicit affairs always hurts but this took the cake. this was smooth to write though, it came easily. the ending may be a bit rushed, i apologize. i think jack was a good person to pick for this, not that i think he'd do this, but it was easier to make him that way than who i was gonna use for this song before. ANYWAY, hope u love as always, thank you for reading!!!

make sure nobody sees you leave. hood over your head, keep your eyes down.

Jack had texted you. "I'm parked at my usual spot." Said usual spot was in the dark back corner of the parking lot for the apartment building next to yours. You sighed, you felt bad. Your stomach had a deep feeling you couldn't shake.

It was almost midnight, the only time he ever wanted you. Far after the sun had gone down, so nobody could ever have the chance to see you two. The last time you saw Jack, he was gone when you woke up and you just cried and cried.

You had realized that you weren't a secret because he just liked his life private like he told you. You were a secret because he would never want to be seen with you. Not even after spending almost a year of your time on him.

He emphasized his text, and you still sat on your couch, thinking about whether or not you even wanted to see him. Your makeup was done, your hair looked beautiful, just for him to take you back to his apartment, and not act like he knew you until you were safe within the walls of his bedroom.

tell your friends you're out for a run, you'll be flushed when you return.

You thought back to the night of the last time you saw him. It was one of your closest friend's birthday party, and you were having so much fun, until Jack texted you at 10:30 pm, asking to come pick you up.

It was like he had a spell on you, like you would do whatever he asked, for the hope that he would see your devotion and decide to make your relationship serious. Because Jack wasn't your boyfriend, but he acted like it. He acted like it when he would lose a hockey game and text you, saying he missed and even loved you, saying he needed you.

take the roads less traveled by. tell yourself you can always stop.

Back to the birthday party. Jack wouldn't stop texting you, telling you he missed you so much and couldn't sleep without you. You caved in, leaving the party early, telling the birthday girl you had an early morning and needed a good night's sleep. Jack picked you up, all smiles, leaving kisses on your cheek, holding your hand.

He held your hand on the way up to your apartment, and the hope you felt was unmatched. You thought this was the moment he realized how important you were to him. But then you woke up, alone and cold, with nothing but a text saying, "Left when you fell asleep, meet up sometime next week?" It completely ruined you.

You had met Jack at a party, it was a black tie for New Year's Eve and you had immediately caught his eye. He went up to you first, you honestly hadn't even noticed him. He acted very interested in you, talking to you for hours until the clock struck midnight, and he had made you feel special. You let him have your phone number that night, and it was the flap of a butterfly's wings that created the typhoon.

what started in beautiful rooms, ends with meetings in parking lots.

As time went on, Jack started to treat you worse, he expected more from you. You knew you couldn't expect anything from him, though. He was the hotshot playboy of the NHL, and you were simply a girl. A girl he could pick and choose when he wanted because if you did something wrong, there were hundreds more lined up waiting.

and that's the thing about illicit affairs. and clandestine meetings, and longing stares. they show their truth one single time.

You could never really tell if Jack's words were genuine. He was so hot and cold with you; so much so that it was more like scalding and freezing. If you ever asked him anything near that topic, he would shut it all down immediately. He reminded you he wasn't your boyfriend, then would try to ease the sting by telling you he loved you. He was the first boy to ever tell you he loved you, and it hurt every time he did.

He was just two different people. The guy you got during the night, when he was craving someone, and the guy he really was. He didn't love you, you knew it. He knew it too. But oh how you wished he loved you. You never loved him though, how could someone love a man who only ever cared for you when there was no threat of anyone else knowing?

It was worse during the summer. He was away for almost two months then came home and expected you to come running back, then got angry when you didn't. And even after all the anger, and the red flags, and the secrecy, you couldn't stop, even though you promised yourself you could if you wanted to. You wanted to. Jack was like your drug, an addiction you couldn't get through life without.

but it dies, and it dies, and it dies, a million little times.

He was a liar. That was what you knew. You knew he couldn't love you. If you love someone, you show them, you make them feel loved. Jack never made you feel loved, he did the opposite most of the time. You remember sobbing the first time he told you he loved you because he left you alone in your bed in the middle of the night just minutes later.

leave the perfume on the shelf, that you picked out just for him. so you leave no trace behind. like you don't even exist.

You remember the time he asked you not to wear your perfume when he picked you up anymore. He said it made his car smell like you and one of his friends had asked why it smelled like perfume. He couldn't stand the thought of anyone knowing you existed with him, that much was obvious. He wanted to live a double life, one with you, and one with every single other part of his life.

He would tell you not to follow him on social media, not to tag your location in posts if he did, and not to tell your friends about it. It made you miserable, and your friends could tell something had changed in you.

take the words for what they are, a dwindling mercurial high. a drug that only worked the first few hundred times.

You knew you couldn't keep doing what you were doing with Jack. You knew he'd run you dry eventually. That he'd push you to misery and you'd have to leave him. You just held out hope that one day maybe he'd love you the way he said he did.

and that's the thing about illicit affairs. and clandestine meetings, and stolen stares.

One night he got really angry with you, and you thought you'd never see him again. With the way he treated you, you got to the point where you thought that maybe he had a girlfriend he was cheating on with you. It would've made the secrecy make sense.

You had sat him down and asked him if you were the other woman in his relationship. And he flipped on you, he was angry you thought he would ever do something like that. He shouted at you for the first time, he said things insinuating that you were sleeping around, not being "loyal" to him, and just wanted to spread your guilt to him.

It couldn't have been farther from the truth, he was the only man in your life. He was the one man you had ever let see you in the ways he saw you. The only boy you'd ever slept with. Then the next day he showed up at your apartment, a hood over his head and sunglasses covering his eyes, but nonetheless, he was holding flowers, and that's all you could focus on.

they show their truth one single time. but they lie, and they lie, and they lie, a million little times.

You snapped out of your thoughts when your phone started ringing. Jack was waiting for you, he had texted you twice now, and was currently calling you. You jumped to answer it.

"Hi."

"Hey? What are you doing? I'm here to get you."

Every word he said was like a stab to the stomach. You were past the point where his words comforted his bad actions. It all just hurt now.

"Um, sorry you came all this way. I don't think I'm feeling up to it tonight."

He scoffed pulling his phone from his ear to stare at the phone, then put it on speaker.

"What do you mean? Are you like mad at me or something? You seemed fine half an hour ago."

"Yeah um no, I mean I just don't feel great right now, and would rather not have a fast fuck at your place then get an Uber home."

You said it, you kind of couldn't believe you did. You felt proud of yourself for it. You finally called him out, even if it was just a little bit.

"Oh, so you are pissed at me? Baby, what did I do?"

Baby. It's what he called you when he wanted to get his way. You knew right now he was hoping you would just brush off your feelings and come get in his car.

and you wanna scream, don't call me "kid". don't call me "baby".

"No Jack, stop. Don't call me that. I don't-"

"What is your problem?! I didn't do anything wrong between thirty minutes ago, when you were sending me fuckin' heart emojis tellin' me you couldn't wait to see me, and now!"

You could feel the tears pricking in your eyes, the pain in your chest was overwhelming now. He just didn't understand how it felt to be cared for when it was convenient, because you always cared for him, part of you probably always would.

"I just can't do this fucking situationship we have anymore! You are ruining me, Jack. You are making me miserable, you only care about me when you feel like it, and you tell me you love me when you don't. You're making me crazy! And I just let you because I still for some stupid reason am holding out hope that one day you'll stop for a second and realize that you want me to be more than a late-night hookup when you're feeling bad about yourself!"

look at this godforsaken mess that you made me. you showed me colors, you know i can't see with anyone else.

You were sobbing, shouting at Jack through the phone. He was stunned. He was truly speechless.

"I- Shit, Angel, you know-"

"No! Stop! You do this shit, you make me feel special then you rip it out of my hands, you remind me that I'm just one of many girls who'd be forever lucky to be a doormat for you! You have made me fucking hate myself. I have never been less happy in life than I am right now, and it's because of you.

"You've forced me to create this secret life that revolves around the hope that you'll call me and tell me to walk down the street where your car is parked waiting for me in the middle of the night, just far enough so no one would ever see you."

Jack was forced to look back on all the shit he'd put you through over the past 11 months. He never really considered your feelings, not as often as he should've. He used you, he manipulated you, he made you depend on him.

"Shit, Jack. I just, I can't do it anymore. The secrets, lying to my friends, for someone who couldn't give two shits if I never saw him again. I've become someone I don't even like anymore."

don't call me "kid". don't call me "baby". look at this idiotic fool that you made me. you taught me a secret language, i can't speak with anyone else.

Jack was dumbfounded. He hadn't realized he was hurting you that bad. He hadn't thought for two seconds about how the regulations he'd put in place in your relationship would affect you. He just wanted to have someone when he needed someone, and not have to deal with the emotional turmoil that came with a committed relationship. He didn't realize you had all of that emotional turmoil on your shoulders.

Jack didn't realize it then, nor would he at this moment. But in the weeks, months, and years ahead, he would realize how important you really were to him. How much your presence really did comfort him. How lucky he was to have you. How he did love you.

"I- I'm sorry, I guess. I just, this is crazy to be honest."

You sighed, that response just confirmed everything. He never really cared, so why would he now? The second you hung up the phone he'd be able to find another girl in a matter of minutes, if he wanted to.

"It's fine, whatever. But um, yeah just lose my number Jack."

"Yeah, alright. Um, bye?"

You hung up the phone and immediately started crying again. Did he know all he had to do was fight for you? Did he know you would've stayed? He probably didn't care either way. He didn't need to fight for anyone, not when he could have someone else who didn't need any reassurance, who didn't care if he was invested in them or not, who could just be used for sex and comfort when needed and not bat an eye.

and you know damn well, for you i would ruin myself,

You felt that now you could finally breathe. The weight of him was lifted from your chest. You immediately called your best friend, telling her to come over as soon as possible, and even though it was midnight, she came. You explained how the last eleven months you'd been consistently seeing a guy who'd only wanted you in secret, and how you'd just broken it all off with him. She comforted you, and wasn't mad at you for lying, not when you'd explained it.

You started a new chapter of your life, one where you focused on your own happiness. The chapter could only last about a year though, because at a New Year's Eve party on December 31st, 2024, you met a man that one day you'd marry, have his kids, and love till death. Maybe not all relationships that begin on New Year's Eve are bad.

Jack had realized his faults and thought about them often for the next year or so after you broke everything off with him. He'd realized you were someone he should've appreciated more, and loved on more. He wished he would've changed his ways and fought for you, but was glad you were probably finally happy.

a million little times.

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