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aspenflower17 · 4 years

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Finding You (Part Fifteen of ??)

Goodness gracious, I’m back, and excited to be here. I just had the weirdest two weeks, so I apologize about not updating last week. Luckily, I just stayed home today and was able to write most of this chapter. Here is a link for anyone who’s new and wants to start over at the beginning: Part One.

A couple notes: I totally forgot I wanted to add a dream sequence to part fourteen, so I added it first thing in this update. It is a rewrite of part of Satan’s “The Search of Self” Devilgram so there might be some spoilers. I also missed you all so much! Honestly, I’ve been feeling kinda down lately and haven’t even had much motivation to play Obey Me (or do much of anything), so being able to hang out on Tumblr today and see all the posts has helped me get some of my inspiration back! I also bought a Chromebook and I'm still getting used to it. If the formatting goes weird, please let me know so I can fix it.

Tags for the beauties: @simpingforsatan @naimena @hachimochi @wrathandgreed @magi-minminxiii @rensphilia @a-dream-at-night @chloelikesobeyme @getbehindme-satan @theuglypugling @oofthelazyweeb @mammonismyfirstman

Word Count: 3293

Warnings: Possible spoilers for the first season (though I think I’ve had some before so...), spoilers for Satan’s “The Search for Self” Devilgram story (it’s not the full story and I added a lot)

Mc followed Satan to a fairly large building. Satan, still so weird to say, had asked her if she wanted to go around the Devildom with him. The letters above the door were illegible, seeing as how the Devildom had their own language and alphabet, but she instantly knew where they were when they walked in, “You took me to an art gallery?!”

“Oh, seems like I made a good choice,” Satan looked a tad shocked, but then smiled, “I like to come here to get away from stuff and clear my head.”

“So, are these like human art galleries?” Mc asked.

“I think so? Naturally, they have older, historically significant paintings, but they also exhibit pieces created by young, up-and-coming artists. And they’re always holding interesting events. It’s a lot of fun… Are you interested in art, Mc?”

“Yeah, I am,” Mc answered.

“Ah, is that so? I’ve got a feeling you and I might get along, then. I really love art.”

Mc felt her heart thill at his words. She’d been interested in the blonde fourth-born the second she’d seen him, and her interest seemed to be well founded.

Satan continued on about why he loved art, and though there was brand new art for her to look at, all she could do was hang watch Satan and hang onto his every word. He wasn’t saying anything she herself didn’t think, but just being here with him was giving her butterflies.

“... If you’re nervous about coming here alone, then say the word, and I’ll join you anytime.”

“Ah, that’s so nice of you. Now that I know this place exists, I’m definitely going to need to visit often.”

“You’re really excited about this, aren’t you?” he was watching her, eyebrow quirked, but with a soft smile.

“Of course! Not only do I have a whole new history to learn about, but there’s even new art!”

Satan chuckled, “Well, I’m glad you’re actually interested in art. It really is important not to focus only on your outward appearance like Asmo, because the person you are on the inside has a way of showing through on the outside as well.”

“I agree. Too many people’s beauty is only skin deep.”

“Exactly. Incidentally, it looks like they’re having a contemporary art exhibit here today. Shall we go check it out?”

“Definitely. I hope demon modern art is better than, “Four Blue Squares on Canvas”.”

“Wait… Really?”

“Yup. It’s a real art piece I saw in my University’s art museum.”

“So, was it really…”

“Just four blue squares on a white canvas, all equidistant from each other.”

Satan blinked a couple times, “Well, I hope ours is better too.”

They entered an exhibit space. Mc found herself a little disappointed, as she saw some of the same stange, abstract, postmodern art she would’ve seen at a human art gallery. Satan noticed the change and hurried to explain, “This is the human art wing. Many of the “lost” art pieces you’ve heard about can be found in collections here in the Devildom or in some of our galleries. This gallery is curated by Lord Diavolo, as advised by Barabatos, Lucifer and myself. Right now I believe this collection was put together by Lucifer.”

“Ah. That makes sense,” Mc stated, lips pursed as she looked around, making Satan laugh.

The duo continued through the gallery, Mc stopping every-so-often to examine a piece that caught her eye. Satan knew the artist’s name and the medium of almost every piece, though there were a few that were new to him too.

“Check out this work here. The use of color is so novel, so original. It’s very eye catching.”

Mc leaned down to read the museum label, “You know, that reddish color really reminds me of… Oh…”

“Human blood? Yeah, I thought as much. Though the smell had been dampened, probably diluted with water, it’s still unmistakable,” Satan answered absentmindedly. Finally seeing Mc’s discomfort, he quickly tried to backpedal, “I’m sorry. I forgot human noses aren’t as... sensitive as demons. This artist makes pieces that stimulate multiple senses. She’s an acquaintance of mine. This piece in particular incorporates the blood of… Seven distinct creatures, demons included.”

“Oh… Which one is the demon blood?”

“The black. If I’m not mistaken, she used her own blood for this piece,” Mc nodded, the art more macabre than she’d originally thought, “Well, there’s a lot more to see than just this. Let’s see, what’s over here in this space?” They walked through an archway into a room that held a huge installation. A lot of strange items filled the room, some on pedestals, or the ground, while others hung from near translucent strings from the ceiling. The lighting in the room was generally low, specific spotlights or illumination obviously very strategically placed. A low glow on the floor marked a pathway that allowed the viewer to wander around the room.

“Wow! Now this is very interesting,” Satan breathed, eyes glittering, “See? Check it out. At first glance it looks like a bunch of random stuff scattered all over the place, doesn’t it? But actually, every piece of rope, string and crumpled paper has been arranged very meticulously. It actually depicts a war between a dragon and an army of angels. If you want proof, look at it from the side. It looks as if the dragon is over powering the army. Buuuut,” Satan continued excitedly rushing over to the other side of the room, “When you look from this other angel here, it seems the angels have the upper hand.”

“Interesting, because, from where I’m standing, I can see Earth.”

“Wait, really?” Satan moved to where Mc was and bent down so he could view it from her height, “Would you look at that. I don’t think I ever would’ve seen that. How interesting… Very nice find,” he complimented, his smile, words and proximity making Mc’s cheeks heat up.

They spent some more time in the room, though they didn’t find any other secrets. They both vowed to come back however to search some more. They then spent more time in the gallery before Satan suggested they head out to get some refreshments at a new cafe in the Devildom.

“Thank you for that Satan,” Mc grinned, “That was some much needed mental refreshment.”

“No, thank you Mc. It can be difficult to get any of my brothers to spend time with me in a manner that I enjoy, and even harder still for them not to annoy me in the process, so I usually end up going around on my own. It was invigorating having someone with me who also appreciates art,” He grinned at her again, making her heart flutter. She could definitely get used to spending time with the Avatar of Wrath.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mc blinked awake. That was the second dream she’d had that seemed more than just a dream. She could still remember the first in clear detail, though her dreams usually started fading once she woke up. The only other time she’d experienced something like this was her memory of being a Wanderer. But… This couldn’t possibly be like that. That was a memory, and these were just the result of finally being able to talk to and spend time with the demon she’d admired for so long… Right? She shook her head, the large questions the dreams brought up already giving her a headache. She grabbed her DDD blinking at the light it gave off. After her eyes adjusted she saw a new message alert. Opening it she smiled. Seems like he'd finally opened up her letter

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Dude, just read it.”

“Easy for you to say.”

Belphie sighed and got up, grabbing the letter off of the kitchen counter.

“What are you doing?” Satan asked.

“Well, if you’re not going to open it, I will. I can’t believe you didn’t read and respond to it that night. Honestly, you’re one of the most powerful demons in the Devildom and you can’t even-” he was cut off by Satan grabbing the letter from him, the seal already halfway broken.

“I will open it myself, thank you.”

“Then do it,” Belphie said, unaffected by Satan’s anger.

Satan narrowed his eyes, and turned back to the letter in his hands. Logically, he understood why he was nervous, and usually knowing the why behind a feeling would help him get it under control, but that had never worked with any feelings toward Mc. He had hoped this time around would be different, and he was almost more nervous than before. There seemed to be so much more riding on her returned affection than before. Cautiously, he broke the rest of the seal on the envelope, and pulled the letter out/

Dear Satan,

I would love to get coffee with you sometime! If I can be even half as engaging as last time, I’ll consider it a job well done. To help us plan that and talk more easily in the future, I included my number ;) Once you text me, I have a secret to share with you.

Satan blinked a couple times. He turned the letter over to see if she’d written anything on the back. No such luck. Was that really all she’d written?

“Forever the tease I see.”

“... Did you just read that over my shoulder?”

“Well, when you delay as much as you did, and then have that kind of reaction, who wouldn’t? Anyway, you should text her.”

“I… Yes, you’re right. I definitely should,” Satan said grabbing his DDD. He opened the messaging app, typed in her number and… just sat there.

“You good?”

“Hmmm? Oh, yeah. I’m just not sure how to start the-”

He was cut off by Belphie grabbing his DDD, typing something, and then tossing it back to him, “There you go. I’m going to go sleep now. It’s way past my bedtime.”

“Wait, what did you even-”

“Night,” Belphie called from the doorway before walking out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Satan was reading when his DDD meowed that he had a message. He almost threw the book he was reading into the air as he lunged for his DDD which was on the table next to him. He didn’t even have time to be embarrassed at his over-the-top-reaction.

Satan: A secret?

Mc: Yes :D

My name is not Jane Doe, though

I’m sure you’ve already

surmised that much

Satan: I thought as much, though it really isan ingenious alias.

Mc: Thank you! I thought so too

Satan: So… Do I get to know what you’re

real name is?

Mc: Hmmm… What if I want to go get

that coffee with you before

I divulge that information?

Satan: We’ll just have to go get that coffee then.

Mc:

When?

Satan: Whenever you’d like. I am free today.

Only if you want though.

Mc: Okay! Shall we say… 16:00?

Satan: As long as there’s no last minute RAD Student Council meetings called, that should be perfect

Mc: Well, if there is, I’ll just have to come

tell everyone you already made plans.

I’ve been meaning to visit RAD anyway.

Satan:

Oh how I’d love to see Lucifer’s reaction

to that.

Mc:

Satan: Wait… Shouldn’t you be asleep right now?

It’s rather late.

Mc: I was asleep, but…

Satan: Bad dream?

Mc: No actually. Quite the opposite.

I just can’t stop thinking now.

Satan: Ah. I understand that.

Anything I can do to help?

Mc: Would you talk to me a bit longer? Maybe tell me about thelatest book you’ve been reading?

Satan: Of course.

Though he wished Mc would talk to him about what was bothering her, he figured this was probably the better option. They hadn’t met many times, and prying might upset her. So, he simply started telling her the basic plot of the new novel he’d picked up. Eventually, she stopped responding, and the messages stopped being shown as read. Satan smiled at that, texted her good night, and snuggled down into bed himself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I’m sorry!” Mc’s voice brought Satan out of the book of poetry he’d been reading, “Not only did I fall asleep while texting you last night, but then I was late today and I set the meetup time? Ugh, I feel so bad and I’m so sorry!”

“You’re alright,” Satan smiled, not wanting to acknowledge how much anxiety had been eased up by her appearing.

“I woke up late, and I dropped my DDD bad enough that we have to get a new one all together, and then Michael was asking me about native Devildom fabrics and if he should get a new outfit made in one… It’s just been a day so far.”

“Like, I said, it’s all okay. I’m sure you would’ve messaged me if you could.”

“I would’ve. I still feel bad… But thank you for being okay with it,” the look of anxiety to joy that she gave him made every second he’d spent waiting worth it.

“O-Of course,” he got out.

“So, what were you reading?”

“A collection of Arabic love poems.”

“Ah, “... When I love, / I become liquid light,” and “... If the devil was to ever see you, he’d kiss your eyes and repent,” Mc sighed, resting her chin on her hand. Then, as if remembering her current company and current residence, she shot up, “Sorry! I just really love that line.”

Satan laughed, and then said a quote of his own, “My lips and fingers were pens on her flesh. / I memorized her in every alphabet and memorized my memories until they multiplied…”

“I look at you and I dream of snow, I look at you and I await autumn…”

“My temptations in your eyes, And the cities of your grief,” Satan quoted just then realizing they were both leaning in towards each other. He leaned back a bit abruptly and cleared his throat, “Anyway, I really enjoy Adonis’ work.”

“Me too,” Mc answered, leaning back as well. Fortunately, a waiter came up to them to take their order, helping resolve the awkward air his sudden retreat had created. He tried to collect his thoughts as she ordered. He could only think of one thing to talk about though.

“So… Your name is not Jane Doe.”

“Nope.”

“So... What is it?” Didn’t they have this conversation last night?

Mc looked disappointed for a second, but then she was back to normal, “It’s Mc.”

“Really? That’s a lovely name.”

She looked up, eyes measuring him, “You think so?”

“Of course! It suits you really well,” Satan said.

“Well, there’s actually an interesting story behind that. Usually when an angel becomes an angel, they receive a new name. Back in the past, they used to allow them the choice between their new name and their old one. This resulted in too many angels remembering their human life, so they stopped allowing it. I’m the first angel in quite some time to keep the same name as I had in life.”

“Really?”

“Yup. Apparently Sim and Luke were insistent on it. Luke didn’t have a ton of clout upstairs at the time, but Sim does. I promised I wouldn’t question them too much about my human life.”

“They were huh? That’s interesting…”

“Why?”

“Oh, uhhh… Just general curiosity. I’ve been trying to pin down what kind of person Simeon is since the first exchange program,” Satan scrambled, actually managing to sound convincing.

Mc just hesitated and then nodded, not keeping eye contact with him.

“I’m sorry. I’m just nervous that I’ll make a fool of myself and ruin this time like I have the other times we’ve talked,” Satan confessed in Latin, his brain still on the last language he had been reading. Saying the things that had been bothering him started when he became more comfortable around Mc the first time around. He found saying the things on his mind out loud usually released much of his nervous energy, helped him understand what and how he was feeling without doing things to make Mc uncomfortable, even if she hadn’t understood most of what he’d said. It had become something they had shared, causing her to work hard to learn other languages so she could catch the little embarrassing things he said.

Mc gave him a look before replying, “Well, you didn’t mess up last time.”

“Well, I-” Satan cut off when his brain caught up to his mouth. She had just responded. In perfect Latin. His brain flipped back to their discussion on Arabic poetry and he realized she had been quoting that in Arabic too, “I hadn’t realized… Of course you speak other languages.”

“I have to read it in its original tongue. Translations generally don’t do the original justice,” Satan was still trying to think of an appropriate response when Mc spoke again, “Question though: Why did you say that in Arabic?”

“I… I fell into that habit awhile ago.”

“I thought a lot of demons knew different languages.”

“Well, I don’t do this around other demons. I don’t care what most of them think of me…” Satan cut off as the waiter came back with their drinks.

Mc sat in thought for a second before realization dawned on her, “Oh, was it because of…” her face fell before she could continue her thought.

“Hmmm? Did you say something?”

“No, just a stray thought that slipped out.”

“Hmmm… Well, do you want to tell me more about yourself?”

“Only if you tell me more about yourself.”

“Sounds fair to me. We can trade off asking questions.”

“Okay,” Mc seemed very excited by the prospect, and Satan found it infectious. The questions were a bit stilted at first, but they slowly fell into a comfortable space. Though the answers Mc gave, it seemed she was the same person essentially, but a lot more educated, even more opinionated, and with a different upbringing. He found the fact her personality had remained intact very interesting as well as relieving. He found the fact she was now an angel not as terrible as he thought it’d be. Sure, she spoke about saving souls and bringing people to the light, but with what she’d done for him and his brothers, it seemed a perfect fit. He’d always known she was a really good person. At times it had almost made him try to give up on their relationship, not wanting to corrupt her, but also feeling it in his very nature too. Now however, he didn’t necessarily feel that for her. She was an angel and it took a lot to corrupt an angel. He didn’t feel any animosity towards her and found her to be a lot like Simeon in her regard to demons. He found himself thanking Simeon for keeping her intact. If they couldn’t give her back to me, this is probably the next best thing.

They were both surprised when Mc’s DDD rang, a call from Luke asking if she’d be back in time for dinner. While she was on the phone, Satan received a similar call from an annoyed Beel telling him it was time to come home. Lucifer wouldn’t let him eat until he’d gotten home. They both got off the phone at the same time.

“I… actually have to go. I hadn’t realized how late it’s gotten.”

“I didn’t either. I have to go as well. There’s a hungry Avatar of Gluttony at home and a stupid Avatar of Pride that won’t let him eat until I get back.”

“Well, I really had a good time tonight. We should do this again sometime.”

“I agree,” Satan smiled, “Today was amazing.”

Mc smiled and blushed a bit, “I’ll text you later then?”

“Definitely. Bye!”

Mc waved cutely and then started running off in the direction of the castle. Satan watched her until she was out of sight, smiling softly the whole time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, yeah. Arabic love poems make me live. I apologize if the translations are weird. I literally found them on a twitter post someone had posted on Tumblr. Here’s the link: https://twitter.com/rosewatwr/status/1292487129793208320?lang=en

Can we also take a moment to talk about how absurd it is that Satan, of all people, was having trouble eating properly with a knife and fork?! Are you kidding me?

Part Sixteen

#obey me #obey me!#obey me satan #obey me! swd #obey me belphie #aspenflower17 #finding you #obey me fluff #obey me angst #obey me mc #obey me satan/mc #obey me satan x mc #obey me long fic #obey me swd #can you guys believe it's part 15?!#also #there was a part I was going to add on that was pretty angsty and Read My Heart came on shuffle when I was writing it

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blondrichclosetwitch · 3 years

Text

“I told you that I would never be forgotten.”

12/5/21 10:58-12:34

“None of us thought it was gonna end that way. It’s the kinda ending you don’t really want to see. “

“I don’t know what to do without you around.”

“I hope you know it’s not easy for me.”

“ I wish I had the strength to let it show.”

“Sometimes we change our minds.”

“I can’t hold out forever.”

You make everything so clear.”

“I’m getting closer than I ever thought I might.”

“It’s time to bring the ship to the shore and throw away the oars forever.”

“It always seems that I’m following you. “

“The TV. It’s killing us.”

“We never speak.”

“Put the brakes on these fast, fast wheels.”

“Turn off the lights so we can sing.”

“now I’m doing Time.”

“How would I know that this could be my fate?”

“What you wanted to see has made you blind.”

“ if you want wasted, loaded, permanently folded, I’m your man.”

“I’m waiting for a sign from you.”

“ Brown paper packages tied up with string.”

“Boys in white dresses. birds with no wings. smug politicians. “

“When the dogs die, when the bees die.”(when blond told me she crashed her car with the dog, and was talking to me from the other side.)

“I’ll be dead like you.”

“I played alone. “

“I survived.”

“I had a one-way ticket to a place where all the demons go.”

“I’m still breathing.”

“ in the ground where nothing can ever grow.”

“Just lies.”

“I have made every single mistake that you could ever possibly make. I took and I took and I took….what you gave.”

“You took it all.”

“I’m at a loss. I’m losing grip. Let me drive, let me think, let me figure it out.”

“I’ll tell you about it sometime.”

“I don’t know what we should do.”

“Hold their bodies to the ground.”

“Offer them some water.”

“they cut them down.”

“I could barely hear you speak.”

“I’ll still destroy you. Sleep well beast. “

“They read off our names. Our lives would never be the same.”

“I passed the pictures around.”

“This is absurd!”

“May break our fall.”

“Promise me you’ll stand by me forever.”

“They point to the pictures.”

“The crowd went wild.”

“Remember this moment. All the magic we made? We will be remembered.”

“this has been one of the greatest tours of our lives.”

(Then jean genie played, and they are making it very clear they want me to talk about that. This was considered The song of Gina, the spirit guide that the TR told me about about my trip to Italy. I remember the day that I was led to think that the painting she’d sold me was Gina. I excitedly texted my friend misha who had been following my day-to-day adventures. In fact, gina and I did readings on misha’s love life regularly (she too got readings from Tarot Reader).

Gina gina gina. Everything was gina for months. Gina gave me guidance, Gina did chakra clearing for me, interpreted tarot readings, told me when Jakk was coming and everything that I should do to make that happen. And whenever Jean Genie played, I understood that Gina was coming through and had things to say. Gina also told me to do sexual things with her near, and to always always keep the pendulum in my hand. Or my mouth, if I was self pleasuring. As she (or psychic jakk) had told me to do. And then finally, Gina told me late one night in May, that she had been programmed to betray me and I had to get rid of her. I was to put her/the painting in front of the church on driggs Avenue. I have a video of me saying goodbye to her. I guess that’s because shit was getting real fucked up, and they knew they needed to get rid of all evidence. But first, I was also told to erase every single picture of anything the Tarot Reader made me.

Interesting, no?

I just looked over at my Chromebook because it got very loud. I’m playing several YouTube channels because I want privacy from the surveillance. There’s a Duran Duran video playing. It’s titled “someone else not me. “ I was just editing the line about self pleasuring. I’m sure you can put it together.

I’ll admit that I am not sure if the nanny cam was put in the painting when the Tarot Reader brought it into my house, or if it was done after, when I went up to Connecticut for the first time… When it was clear that Blond was harassing me. But I do know that that was part of the plan, and why I had the painting in the first place. That disturbs me. It is very clear that a lot of money must’ve exchanged hands, when I look at the evolution of Gina.

Was there ever a Gina? I know I felt something otherworldly approached me when I was in Italy in September, but I’ll have to go back to the tape of that conversation for details. All I know is when I told the Tarot Reader about what happened to me in Italy, she seemed to have all the answers. As always.

It’s for these reasons that anytime this Bowie song plays, my stomach clenches and I shut down. I just don’t want to hear it.( FTR, The Duran Duran video channel stopped playing, and now there’s just a blank white space. Underneath, it says “the chauffeur.” ) but that’s not fair to the song. It’s a great song.

They say it’s a reference to Jean Genet. A gay écrivain who was always doing drugs and loved cocaine. Reminds me of somebody actually. )

“You’re stepping from the car but you’ll be getting back in soon. Everybody looks at you. Well, it’s your day.”

“Little girl there’s a hole in your heart and one between your legs. You’ve never had to wonder which one he’s going to fill in spite of what he said. You’ll never get away. “

“You’ll give it up one day.”

“His look’s enough to murder you. “

“See what you’ve done. Somethings wrong.”

“Facedown on the pavement.”

“Hit and run.”

“And now a mother sits in silence in the darkness she can’t understand.”

“You know you’ve got nothing to prove.”

“I’ll put you to bed.”

“You can let it all go.”

“You’ve been playing too rough lately. You live too fast. You’re a tragedy starting to happen.”

“This can’t go on too long. “

“I’ll give you the time you deserve.”

“That dust is going to settle your nerves.”

“How you tricked me.”

“I was hypnotized.”

“ that legendary divorce is such a bore.”

“It makes me see what I want to see.”

“I do things I never should do.”

“I drink much more than I ought to drink.”

“I cannot see clearly.”

“Isn’t that she coming to me nearly here?”

“Why is everything so hazy?”

“Am I just going crazy?”

“when you lose your breath.”

“In your memory you're Drunk. All of your friends are all letting you blow some Friend you could need. The music you needed for comforting. Terrible scene.”

“standing next to me, he’s only my enemy. I'll crush him with everything I own.”

“It isn’t as pretty as you’d like to guess. Your father made fetuses with flesh licking ladies while you and your mother were asleep in the trailer park.”

“I know they buried her body. I wished I could save her in some sort of time machine.”

“We know who our enemies are. Now we move.”

” I hear people are talking about us. That’s OK with me. I’m thinking about you every night, fantasizing.”

“All around us people are changing.”

“Wait till after sundown. Round midnight.”

“ first you love me, and then you fade away.”

“ we got to keep the light burning.”

“Dream, baby, dream.”

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dlwritings · 4 years

Text

Firecracker Soul | Dean Winchester

Chapter 21 - Run Away

pairing - mob!Dean x teacher!ofc

word count - 3,516

warnings - none

additional notes at the end

(previous)

When Alice got to school on Monday, she stopped in the main office to talk to the secretary, Joy. "Hey," she said, giving the lady a smile. "Remember that man who came a few weeks ago? He brought me flowers? Signed in as Dean Winchester?"

"Mhm," Joy hummed, her smile widening. "Handsome guy."

"Yeah," Alice said. "Um, he might try and stop by again. If he does, please don't let him in."

Joy's face changed to an expression of concern. "Is he dangerous?"

"No, no, it's not that," she said. "He just-" She hesitated, then sighed. "We're in the middle of a fight, and I know he might try and come talk to me. I'm just not ready." Joy nodded in understanding and gave Alice a sympathetic smile. Alice thanked her and headed off to her classroom.

There were three sets of doors visitors had to go through before they got into the building. First they had to buzz into the main building and state their business to the camera, then they had to buzz into the office and sign in before they could finally be buzzed into the school itself. Realistically, all a person had to do was say the right thing, and no one would bat an eye. Alice was sure Dean could say, "I'm Alice Berkley's boyfriend, and she's expecting me for a visit," and Joy wouldn't think twice. It wasn't that Joy was dumb at all. Dean was charming and didn't appear threatening, especially since he'd probably been seen around the school before picking up Lexi. If he didn't set off any of the metal detectors, he was just a man with a kind smile and a bouquet of flowers.

Alice made sure Joy knew everyday for over a week not to let Dean in, and Thomas agreed to send her kids off again at the end of the day. She definitely owed him a few favors with everything he had done for her thus far that year.

Over a week had gone by since the party, but Alice still hadn't contacted Dean. He hadn't reached out either. She had no idea if he had been coming to pick Lexi up or not, but he hadn't been texting her. Just like their last fight, she wondered if they were done. Even though she knew this time, she needed to be the one to reach out, she couldn't get herself to do it. Every time she considered picking up her phone, she would picture Dean throwing a punch at Jaden, and she would set it down again.

She was sitting at her desk, looking over the kids' spelling tests, when there was a knock at her door frame. She looked up and saw Thomas. "Hi," she said with a small smile and a sigh. "Thanks for taking the kids out again."

He chuckled. "You don't have to thank me every time."

"I know, I know," she said. "I just appreciate it." Thomas nodded and walked into the room, propping himself up against one of the tables.

"How're you doing?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" she asked. "I'm fine."

"Ah, ah," he said, holding his hand up. "Remember, my daughter's your age. I've heard the I'm fine lie enough to sniff it out." Alice scoffed and shook her head.

"Just petty boyfriend troubles," she said, "and I'm not good at confrontation."

"You plan on hiding in here forever?" he asked.

"Can I?" she asked with a sad smile.

He scoffed. "I'm afraid not."

Alice slammed her head against the keyboard which made Thomas laugh again. "Why didn't you ever set me up with your son?" Alice asked him, looking up at him.

"Ah, that would be because he's gay," Thomas said.

"Right," she said with a nod. "Small detail."

Thomas smiled. "So how'd the fella do you wrong?"

She sighed. "He's just a jealous guy. I'm trying to go easy on him. He hasn't had the greatest life, and I think he's just afraid of losing people. In fact, I know he is. I just wish he could express himself in a way that wasn't so aggressive." Quickly, she added, "He doesn't hit me or anything. He never would. He just-" She sighed again. "He's really complicated."

"Well," Thomas said, standing up from the table he was perched on and walking over to her. He clapped her on the shoulder. "If true love was easy, we'd all have it."

Those were the words that kept running through Alice's head that night. If true love was easy, we'd all have it. If this was what love was like, she wasn't sure she wanted it. Being with Dean was fun, and most of the time he was sweet and caring, but the few times that he wasn't were what she didn't want. Was she not deserving of a healthy, normal relationship? Had Christine been right all along? Was Dean textbook toxic? Had she just been blind to his charm? Was it inevitable that he would end up hurting her?

On Tuesday, Alice was sitting in her classroom after school again when there was another knock at her door. She looked up, expecting it to be Thomas. Instead, it was Jess and Lexi. "Hey," Jess said, giving Alice a smile.

She sighed. "Hey."

"Don't look so thrilled to see me," Jess teased.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she said, standing up and walking over to Jess. She pulled her in for a hug.

"Lexi, you wanna go play while me and Ms. Alice talk?" Jess asked her.

"Can't I listen to big girl talk?" she pouted.

"Mm, not today, sweetie," Jess said, kissing her daughter on the head.

"You can go grab your chromebook if you want," Alice offered. "Watch some videos." Lexi nodded and did as Alice suggested. Alice knew she'd grab headphones, which meant she could talk to Jess without any fear of Lexi overhearing.

"Talk to me," Jess urged her, pulling up one of the adult-sized chairs to sit beside Alice. "I only heard that Bobby had to pull Dean off of Jaden."

Alice explained what had led up to Dean's outburst, and Jess sighed when she finished. "I'm sorry," she said. "I get why you're mad."

Alice sighed and asked the question she had been mulling over for a while. "Was he like this with Lisa?" Jess looked at her and sighed as well.

"No," she said. "Not really."

"Then why is he like this with me?" she huffed. "I don't understand."

"Well, you're not Lisa," she said. "He's not going to treat you like you are."

"But why does he have to baby me?" she asked. "If it's because of our age difference-" She hesitated. "-I need to know if that's something he's ever going to get over. Because I can't do this forever."

"He just wants to keep you safe," Jess said. "Try to go easy on him."

"I won't let him keep beating people up to protect me," she said, putting quotes around the last two words. "I'm done with men who think violence is essential in a relationship." Jess was quiet, and Alice ran her hands through her hair in frustration. "Jess, do you think he'll ever hurt me?" she whispered.

"No," Jess said without hesitation. "Never. Don't think like that."

"I can't help it," Alice sighed. "I'm so-" She paused. "Dean knows how bad my last relationship was, but he still does the things he does. I don't want to be afraid of him, but-"

"You should talk to him about this," Jess said. "If he knew you felt this way-"

"What about that fight we had at your house?" she said. "It was over the same thing. The whole Brent thing, remember? It was the same thing. I told him I didn't like how possessive he was, but it didn't phase him. So he knows, but he doesn't care."

"I'm sure he cares," Jess said. "Dean's just-"

"Complicated," she finished. "I know."

"I'm not saying how he acts is justifiable," Jess said.

"No, I know," Alice said. With another sigh, she added, "I just want him to understand what he's done and why I feel how I do and say he's sorry."

"I know," Jess said. "I understand."

Dean was alone at home taking a sip of yet another glass of whiskey when his phone rang. The sun had already set, but it wasn't too late yet. Still, he was a little surprised to see it was Jess. Jess didn't call him very often. If he did, it was almost always related to Lexi. He picked up quickly. "Hey," he said. "Is everything okay?"

"Depends on your definition," Jess said on the other end.

"What does that mean?" Dean asked, leaning back on the couch. He pinched the bridge of his nose. He knew this tone of voice. He was in for a lecture.

"I just saw Alice," she said. He sat up a little straighter.

"Where?" he asked.

"I picked Lexi up," she said. "They let me in."

"Of course they did," he muttered. "She must have me on some no-fly list."

"Because you scared her, Dean," Jess said. "She's not ready to face you yet."

"God, I know I messed up," he said with a heavy sigh. "I'm just working on how I can make it better."

"I get it," Jess said. "Just know that I think she's ready to talk to you, but you're probably going to have to be the one to initiate it."

When Dean got off the phone with Jess, he finished off his glass of whiskey and sighed. He was sorry. He really was. All he needed was a big, grand gesture to prove it to her.

And so, the wheels started turning.

On Friday, Alice got home after school and checked her mail. She didn't have anything in the box, but there was a package with her name on it on the ground. She furrowed her eyebrows and picked it up, searching for the address label. There was none. While she knew that probably should've raised a few red flags, she took the box anyway and headed up stairs.

She crossed into the threshold and dropped her keys and the box on the counter. She slowly started to open it and found a black jumpsuit and a pair of wedged sandals. There was a handwritten note on top of the shoes:

I know you're mad at me, but please be ready by 7:00. I swear I'll make it worth your while x

Alice pressed her lips into a tight line and dropped the note. Was she ready for whatever Dean had planned? Was she ready to face him again? The reality was, she couldn't ignore him forever.

When 7:00 rolled around, Alice was ready. Dean buzzed into her apartment, and she let him in. She paced back and forth, unable to stop herself from chewing on her thumbnail. Why was she so nervous? This was her boyfriend. This was Dean.

Dean knocked at her door, and she took a deep breath before opening it. He looked as handsome as ever: black slacks and a white button-up. In his hands was a bouquet of roses. "Hi," he said, giving her a smile.

"Hi," she said.

"These are for you," he said, handing her the bouquet.

"Thank you," she whispered. "They're beautiful." She stepped back into the apartment to put the flowers on the counter, then turned back to face him.

"Ready?" she said.

"Mhm," he hummed. He stuck his arm out for her to take, and she did. It was a little chillier outside than she expected, but she knew they would be in the car so she didn't really mind. Dean opened the door to the Impala for her, and she thanked him and slid inside. While she would normally slide as close to Dean as she could in the front bench seat, she stayed respectfully on her side.

Dean noticed but stayed silent, though his heart did break at the sight.

"So," Alice said, clearing her throat as Dean put the car in drive, "where are we going?"

"Come on," he teased. "It's always a surprise."

"Right," she whispered, staring out the windshield. She fiddled with her hands on her lap, and Dean sighed as quietly as he could.

This would be okay. They would be okay.

Dean turned on his music, and Alice's eyebrows furrowed when she recognized the tune. "Is this Ben Platt?" she asked. She leaned forward and turned up the volume slightly, hoping to catch the words of the tune.

You say there's so much you don't know. You need to go and find yourself. You say you'd rather be alone. Cuz you think you won't find it tied to someone else.

"Yeah," Dean said, a small smile growing on his face. "I thought I'd make a cassette."

"Of Ben Platt songs?" she asked. Dean shrugged but didn't say anything. Alice looked over at him and studied his profile. The sun had already set, so she could only make out little things, like his sparkling eyes and the slight glisten of his lips after he ran his tongue across them. The length of his stubble made her want to reach out and touch him, just like she always did. She held back though and forced herself to stare out the windshield again.

Alice was surprised when they pulled up to Dean's apartment. Still, she got out of the car when Dean opened the door for her. He put his arm around her waist and smiled to himself when she didn't jump away. "You gonna tell me what we're doing yet?" she asked as they walked towards the elevator. She gave Derek a smile as they passed, which he returned. As they waited for the elevator, Dean stood in front of her.

"I want you to see how much I care about you," he said, "and that I feel terrible about what happened at the party." Alice hung her head, but Dean lifted her chin. "I do," he pressed.

"'S okay," she mumbled.

"No, it's not," he said. The elevator dinged, and Dean put his hand on the small of her back and guided her in. "So I thought I would bring in a little surprise."

"Bring in?" she repeated.

"Mhm," he hummed. He pressed the button to the rooftop terrace and swiped his card to get access. She looked at him with raised eyebrows, but he just smiled.

When the doors opened, Alice could hear another familiar tune playing. They rounded the corner, and she froze at the sight in front of her. It was a small stage -nothing too fancy- and a group of people on stage with one man standing front and center. "Dean," she whispered, unable to get her feet to move. "Is that-"

"Welcome to your personal Ben Platt concert," he whispered in her ear. She looked up at him with a dropped jaw before a guitar started to play on the stage. She laughed in disbelief and ran over to the stage.

Ben smiled at her. "Hey, Alice," he said into the microphone. "How's it going?"

"It's-" She laughed again. "It's great now!"

He laughed as well. "Alright, well let's do this."

The concert was so great. Ben would stop in between songs to chat for a while, occasionally asking if she had any requests. Every time, she just told him to play whatever he was planning next. She didn't stand up and dance at all, but she bounced in her seat and sang along to every word to every song. Ben was an amazing performer, and for that whole time, she forgot why she had ever been mad at Dean in the first place.

When Ben started to play the last song, Dean stood up from the couch and held his hand out to her. "Dance with me," he said.

Just like that, her perfect bubble popped, and she remembered why they were fighting. Still, she nodded and took his hand.

Dean wrapped an arm around her waist and held her close to his body. He laced his fingers with hers, and she rested her head on his chest and her free arm over his shoulder, playing with the hairs at the nape of his neck. Ben's voice filled the space around them, and Alice closed her eyes, trying to stay in the moment and not overthink everything that had happened the past few days.

I may not be wise, and I won't save the day, but look in my eyes, and know I'll always stay. And I won't run away.

As soon as Ben finished the song, Alice broke out into cheers and applause. Ben laughed and put his hands together, bowing in a silent thank you. Alice looked at Dean. "Could you go get me some water?" she asked him. "I want to go talk to Ben."

He smiled. "Course, sweetheart." He kissed the top of her head, and she whispered a thank you. As soon as he was out of earshot, she walked over to Ben.

"Hi," she said. "It's so great to meet you. You were incredible."

"Thank you," Ben said. He offered her a hug, which she accepted. She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and looked behind her to make sure Dean hadn't come back yet.

"Can I ask you something?" she whispered.

"Sure," Ben said.

"You don't know Dean, do you?" she asked. He shook his head no. "So did he just, like, pay you a lot to be here?" Ben hesitated. "I won't be offended or anything. I'm just curious." Her eyes grew wide for a moment. "Oh my god, did he threaten you?"

"No, no," Ben laughed. "No. You were right the first time. He offered a pretty big hunk of money."

Alice nodded and thanked him again just as Dean brought her some water. Within the hour, Ben and his band were all packed up, and Alice and Dean were alone at the apartment. They stayed on the terrace, cuddled up with each other, staring at the sky. Alice didn't know what to say to him. What he had done was sweet, but it didn't solve the real problem at hand. She needed to get her feelings out, and she wasn't sure Dean was going to be the one to say anything.

Just when she got up the nerve to say something, Dean turned her chin so she was looking at him. He leaned forward and tried to kiss her, but she pulled away, and he hung his head and sighed. "How are you still mad at me?" he asked. Her lips parted in shock as she shook her head and stood up from the couch.

"I knew it!" she said.

"Knew what?" Dean asked.

"You think the normal way to make up after a fight is to do something like this?" she said. "Bribing my favorite artist into performing for me? That's not normal, Dean!"

"God, again with the normal thing," Dean said with a slight roll of his eyes.

"You're really going to roll your eyes at me?" she said.

"Are you saying you didn't like the concert?" he asked, folding his arms across his chest.

"I'm not saying I didn't like it," she huffed. "It was a private concert by Ben Platt, of course I liked it."

"Then I don't understand-"

"Exactly!" she shouted. "You don't understand! You don't understand how a normal relationship works! You think you can solve every problem with money or, or sex or murder! It's just, it's too much, Dean."

"So what are you trying to say?" he asked.

"Nothing!" she said. "I'm not-" She groaned and threw her hands in the air. "I just wish you could be normal! I wish this could be normal! I wish-" She sighed. "I just wish I could be in a relationship that made sense."

"So what, are we breaking up?" he said.

"We're-" She rubbed her forehead and hesitated. "We're taking a break, okay? I need a break. I can't do this right now." She grabbed her bag and started to walk to the elevator.

"Alice," Dean said. "Come on." Alice didn't say anything as the elevator opened. She knew if he really wanted to follow her, he would. And as the doors closed behind her, she realized he didn't.

Tears started to fall from her eyes as she called an Uber. It was there within five minutes. In that time, Dean never came down to talk to her.

Did she really just walk away from that relationship?

Dean rubbed his face with his hand in frustration. Okay. So that didn't work. He was running through every moment of the night. Alice seemed to have been enjoying herself. He was sure it was all okay. What had he missed? Now, was it his place to reach out to her again? Was the ball back in her court?

Did he really just let her walk away from that relationship?

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A/N - when I wrote this I had just watched Ben Platt’s Netflix concert (it’s so good don’t even start with me) so if ya’ll don’t listen to him you’re missing out for real

(next)

series masterlist found here

general masterlist found here

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shannonparis29 · 4 years

Text

Haven't written on here in a while.

Hello everyone, I haven't been writing on my blog in a while but things have changed. I ended up having my own apartment and working for Alorica. But I got to a point where I felt like I was not progressing nor feeling like that was what i needed to do. So, as everyone knows, I want to go to school. However, I don't have a lot of money and it was going to come down between me working a full time job and paying for an apartment or paying for school. Based on my income, I cannot afford both. I decided to quit Alorica and work part time elsewhere. I felt it was best for me and myself. My original plan was to move with my dad soon, but I am trying to obtain rent money so I can stay here. I used my last check (along with my small income tax due to not working very much last year), I used to pay towards school and buy a few things I needed for my new job. This new job is also a call center, but part time and required me to get a chromebook. I sold some of my cosplay stuff to get my laptop. An investment for work as well as school. But just before that decision was made, on February 12, 2021, I injured myself. That was the weekend just before the "Winter Storm 2021" hit all of Texas, including South Texas. We actually got REALLY COLD. Like record-breaking, never happens, ever cold. And trust me, a lot of people were out of power, out of everything. People did what they did when COVID started. People were panic buying everything. It took a good week or two for the stores to finally keep up, even after five days of cold weather. Power was out for many, wifi was out for my apartment for bit-even my phone when out of service for a little bit at some point. If COVID couldn't keep people home, this nasty weather forced everyone to bunker down. We had some snow (very little where I was at) and I tried to take Elsa pictures but they sucked due to it being outside in the dark and no real snow. So, on Feb 12, I had gotten paid and also had to go food shopping, so i had already bought my food for the "month" or sooner. I try to stock up the best i can but I also don't overbuy either. (I still have food now and generally I do have 'more food than I need'" which is good. Rather have more than less, and most meats get frozen anyways. Sometimes I use the crockpot (like tonight with taco meat-ground beef) or i'll bake it. Once in a while, food will get fried up but I normally used the above. Sure, I've got microwavable meals too, but it varies. I try to have quick fixes too when I don't feel like cooking anything. Just something you can pop in the microwave or even the oven-like my chicken tenders. Or maybe a frozen pizza.

So anyhow, I am going to talk about my injured foot. So, when I arrived back home, and was unloading the groceries, I went back to get the last bit of groceries. My apartment/city are going under some construction on our street-it's either for sidewalks (maybe) or to open up the street since our street is narrow. Anyhow, the dirt there was uneven-very uneven-it's not as uneven, but I never thought I'd trip and fall like i did. Next thing, I know, BOOM! I tripped and fell over the curb. I was in a lot of pain when it happened. My intial thought was my ankle because it was the ankle I broke back in middle school. Walking was so much pain. Like majorly painful. I couldn't walk without screaming bloody murder. I told my friends that were visiting-including my drag sister, Jackie and her friend, Isabelle, to grab my office chair. I sat down and tried to elevate my foot the best I could. But at a closer look, it was more my foot and it was swollen. My Mom and Mark thought it was a hairline fracture. I had a long bruise develop on the side of foot and some brusing on the top of my foot and on the edge of my toes. I couldn't bear weight on it without hurting. The first thing I did was call a teledoc, which she advised me to get an xray and get it looked at. I refused to go to the ER for lots of reasons-partly COVID, partly due to it being expensive. I was told to go see a doctor OR visit an urgent care. I found an urgent care in Network (When I had insurance) and they looked at my foot. I did an xray and turns out, it was indeed, fractured. I had fracuted a bone on the side of my foot called the "metetarsal" but it was not the focus of my injury. It was called an avulsion fracture, where a nerve causes a fracture of a small bone on my foot. Crazy, that causes that much pain, right? The Urgent Care staff gave me a boot and crutches-and told me take tylenol plus and sent me on my way. Trust me, that is not pleasant to hear. Then, I found a doctor to do a "follow up" with. And once again, I arrive and they refer me to a orthopedic doctor-which I haven't gotten any calls YET. That doctor all she did was prescribe me ibuprofen 800mg and sent me on my way. My friend TJ says they should've done more-at both places, but it is what it is. I hope this injury isn't something that is going to mess with me forever. I healed fine from my ankle all those years ago. I do try to do things, but I am limited. I can't go anywhere without a car-and sometimes I need help carrying stuff so I can focus on manuerving with my crutches. It sucks, and I still don't know how long i'm going to be recovering. Some say it's 4-6 weeks some say longer, from what I read online. When I broke my ankle, it took me three months to recover. So, until I am cleared by a doctor, I will not perform. Do I want to? Yes! Do I love performing? Yes! But my safety/health comes first. Yes, I still go out and support my organization and go to meetings if needed. That's all I can do, for now. Once I have an update about my injury I will let all of you know. So, there is some big events coming up soon. One of them, is our Prince, Princess and Princex Ball happening the weekend of April 30-May 2nd. So April 30th is the out of town show at the bar. It will feature all the in and out of town prince/princess from all over the International Court System that make it down to our event. It is essentially a mini-coronation. I've been asked to run Friday night, and that seems a lot to ask of me, however, it's an opportunity to prove I'm good enough to be part of this organization. I've had my ups and downs in the court, but I'm still here. So, I have to send out a list closer to day for the finger foods, how I want the lineup once the event gets posted. Also, I'll be doing the lineup. There was talk of having a DJ so one of us won't have to do that. But we shall see. It will depend on what we can get done. I've been asked to be a command for Saturday night and I've got what I'm going to do, hopefully. Once I have the outfits in my hand (don't worry they already paid for months ago)

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rainey-staerie-daize · 4 years

Text

02.12.21

Today was a bitch.

I finally snapped on Bry about keeping the family laptop in his room.

Mom said it and its charger are supposed to stay out here in the common areas, but every time he gets a hold of it, I don’t see it ‘til Sunday when he leaves for his dad’s house. Also, during a conversation with him earlier, Mom yelled from the living room about him going back to class, and we just looked at each other as he yelled back that he was. He was actually a few minutes late because he was playing Roblox, but he wasn’t about to tell Mom that. And I didn’t either, because I didn’t wanna start a fight, but I almost wish I did.

Xan wanted to charge his school laptop, but the only charger out here was for the family one, so I yelled for Bry, who’d taken his by mistake. And when he came out here to swap out the two, I yanked the family one out of his hands and put it on top of the printer next to me.

“So you want the family Chromebook to die?” (Mom’s spread the idea around here that the more something dies, the shorter its battery life gets. No idea if it’s true or not. Things might just wear out as they get older.)

I didn’t know what to say, and he stormed off.

I had enough, and after a second, stormed after him.

I yelled at him for being defiant as all Hell, and at some point I asked him if he was in school, or playing “with [his] stupid Roblox friends.” He said it was Roblox, and that the mic was on. Oops. He tried to shut the door on me, but I wedged myself in there, and shoved the door open. He got off the door, and I flew across the room and almost landed on the pile of toys (good thing I didn’t, because if I’d gotten seriously hurt, I usually don’t have the nerve to ask for medical attention).

Ended up wrestling him for the laptop (because nobody in this house seems to understand anything unless there’s physical force for some reason), which got pulled kinda hard, and he tried to kick me at some point, but I used my body weight against him and won. It was a struggle, because he’s apparently as strong as I am. Don’t know how, but he is.

Brought the laptop to the living room and set it next to the charger, and limply picked up one of Xan’s writing books, ready to continue reorganizing the desk, and I just fucking threw it and screamed because nobody ever listens to me. Not at the top of my lungs, and not for more than a second or two, but it briefly woke up Mom. And as she’s yelling to know what’s going on, I don’t respond as I open the door and leave.

Walking around the neighborhood was okay, I guess. Left the neighborhood onto the busy street we live near. Walked down a way that was kinda picturesque, with tall-ass trees. Saw a zip-lock baggie on the ground with two burritos in it, and came across a wash and an empty-feeling intersection.

Was kinda hot and disoriented after a while because I had left my mask at home and was breathing into my shirt for appearance’s sake (because I know damn well I don’t have COVID). Eventually, I decided to head back, wondering if anyone even came looking for me or if Mom had fallen asleep.

Got home, and was home for a few minutes (or half an hour? hard to tell) before Skye came through the door. Apparently, she was looking for me because “I can’t sleep apparently!” I guess my scream woke her up. She said she couldn’t find me, I told her I left the neighborhood, and she said she kinda figured I would and looked both directions. She couldn’t find me because I walked quite a ways down only the one by the Arco, which she told me was where she thought I was. Great minds think alike, I guess. She grabbed one of the last two ice cream cones in the freezer and went to our room, and I planned to take the other when I went out again.

Bry had taken the laptop and the charger off of the printer and was in his room playing on it again. No lessons learned here, it seems.

Used the bathroom, grabbed my flannel, hat, and compression socks because I like being a vampire, and left again at 4:20. Haha, LOL, blaze it.

Went a different way this time. Came across several neat things that I would’ve liked a pic of, but I didn’t bring my phone with me. I got used to the speed of the Chromebook, so now my phone just infuriates me. Saw an owl on a second-floor windowsill with eyes that seemed to follow me, and I toyed with the idea that the eyes were security cameras and the head would follow me as I walked away, but I was wrong about the head turning. Saw more than one playground with caution tape, and people at the park regardless, a house that had multiple owl decorations, plenty of neat architecture, and a park I didn’t know was nearby. Not like a tiny one for the neighborhood, but a BIG one. Lots of space. Signs said it doubled as a drainage ditch.

I thought the stairs leading into it would make a nice pic, with the orange late afternoon glow, but like I said, no camera. Wandered around for a bit. Thought I saw a bike in the distance and wanted to check it out, so I shielded my eyes from the sun (’cause the hat doesn’t do shit near sunset), but it wasn’t there when I got there. Checked out a map of the wash trail and tried to remember the names of the streets I passed, but no dice. Listened to the ice cream truck that only turned on its music after it saw me walking, and heard it move between different areas of the surrounding neighborhood. Just stood and looked around for a while, and it was nice. No siblings, no Mom, no time constraints. Full autonomy.

After a while, I started feeling kinda chilly, and I had to pee, so I headed home. Didn’t stop and observe my surroundings nearly as much, but I noticed the sun going behind some clouds and the sky turning a subtle rainbow. The park felt much more melancholy without the orange glow, but sunset always comes eventually. All good things come to an end.

Got home at 5:30, and the house is nearly dark. Whenever everyone is distracted by phones and Mom’s asleep, everyone forgets to turn the lights on.

It was okay, I guess. Skye was asleep again, and Bry came out of his room eventually. I forget if it was explained to me when I came home the first time or the second time, but I had apparently somehow damaged the keys to the laptop. Half of them wouldn’t work. Cue very low-key panic, which would’ve been more had I not been just absolutely tired of everything. I use this thing for SCHOOL for crying out loud! Well, that and Tumblr, but seriously?!

I asked to take a look at it, but I never got it.

Had to deal with Xan peeing on himself in Mom and Kare’s room, which Mom blamed on me taking too long in the bathroom once she woke up. I never actually used the toilet in there yet, was just taking two minutes to wash my hands, and Xan never came to this bathroom, but I don’t think she would’ve cared if I’d told her.

After I checked on Kare in the other bathroom, I snagged yet another of my compression socks on that damn staple by the door. I swear, it’s evil.

Finally got to take a look at the laptop, and concluded that it was the crooked hinge causing the issue, and tried to bend it back into place. Didn’t work. After a couple tries I accidentally scraped it kinda bad with the very sharp tool, and Bry messed around with his Bluetooth keyboard for a sec, making me think it was more broken than I had initially thought, and I almost cried.

At some point, I discovered that Kare not only disobeyed me when I said get out of the bathroom when Xan’s bathing, but Xan also splashed most of the floor outside the tub. Once again feeling like nobody listens to me, I decided to just let my feelings fester and try being mute again. Slapped another x of electrical tape over my mouth for a bit while Bry scolded the littles. I think I made it a couple hours before Mom told me to take it off. And I did then, because I was finally in an okayish mood then, but that’s later.

It was around this time in the story that Mom was woken up, and I moved my laptop operation into the bathroom. If I could get this fixed, then she would never have to know about it, and I would avoid getting yelled at. I decided to Google the problem (which I had to use the on-screen keyboard for), and I tried an EC reset. It worked.

Handed it back to Bry, because he was civil about giving it to me to fix and he was in the middle of some anime, and he asked if he could hug me. I’m not very comfortable with hugs, or a lot of emotions actually, so I just kinda sat there, but I appreciate that he thanked me.

I watched shorts on the TV, Kare joined me, and I barely started Up before Xan fucked with me by using the other remote to turn the TV off. Ended up starting up a different movie, that he got to pick. Mom’s glasses arrived, I told her about the pee via whiteboard, and she eventually got me to take the tape off. She has no idea about the laptop, and probably not that I left the house for a while. I let Bry know that I want to use the laptop for school on Saturday, and he gave it to me shortly before dinner, to my surprise. Said something about not being able to play with his friends until Sunday, and he’ll be at his dad’s then.

All in all, a Hell of a day, but I got some serenity for a little bit.

#Raine's daize #I think this is the longest I've ever taken to type a post #someone should probably teach me how to put things under the cut #or I could just Google it #sometimes Skye and I forget that we have the world's largest information source at our fingertips: the internet

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etraytin · 4 years

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Quarantine, Day 152

August 10

The computer is not getting any better; it refuses to recognize that the AC adaptor that came with it from the factory lo these many years ago actually belongs to it and is not some sinister stranger with unknowable intentions. When the computer has an unrecognized AC cable plugged into it, it protests this fact by slowing down to near unusable speed, which is pretty impressive given that it is already a five or six year old laptop and was never much of a speed demon to begin with. I can fool it by only operating it while it is on battery power, but that is a stopgap measure at best. Given that I bought this thing used three years ago for seventy bucks from an auction and reformatted, I guess I've gotten my money's worth, but that doesn't mean I can afford to replace it now! This is especially true since the Chromebook I got my husband for Christmas turned out to be a real lemon and is apparently no longer getting updated even though I bought it new from a store in December! Ugh. That'll definitely be our last Chromebook purchase, and he can at least use the old Macbook Air MIL gave us to teach his classes, but we're pretty short in the computer department right now. I have backed up all my fic and WIPs though, as well as other important documents, so that's something, anyway.

Anyway, today marked a milestone in that I went back to mystery shopping for the first time since March. For obvious reasons, I stopped completely during all the lockdown months, and even during the reopening months. Not only did it not feel safe, it felt kind of mean to pile onto employees who are just trying to get by in a situation I'm sure they'd rather not be in. But companies are still contracting for mystery shops, and I guess it's better to have an experienced shopper who is sympathetic to the situation doing the evals than some newbie with a superiority complex about being able to get people in trouble. I didn't go out and sign up for anything, even, but I have a couple of companies who contact me directly when they really need somebody and are willing to pay extra for it. So today I went and actually ate in a restaurant (two restaurants, in fact!) for the first time in five months. It was SUPER AWKWARD. I was literally the only customer in the restaurant for the entire time I was dining the first time, and one of two customers the second. I purposefully went in off hours, but these are popular places and I've rarely seen them less than half full. I was sitting there going "wow, nobody else is eating here, how are they possibly going to miss the fact that I am shopping them?" But that is not technically my problem so long as I am doing my best and nobody ever admits to clocking me. Before the pandemic, there were places where I am 100% sure they knew who I was, but they never admitted it and I never mentioned it, and so we all did our thing and I got excellent service and everybody went home happy. I love being able to give great evaluations, they are _so much_ less work. Plus, you know, there are very few times when it feels good to know you're getting somebody else in trouble. The shops today were fine and I got to give everybody their completely anonymous backpats, plus I brought home enough food that the guys got supper too!

The kiddo had a tough day today. It's hard to be stuck at home, hard to have your life so constrained, hard to live in uncertainty even when the uncertainty is mostly full of tedium. He got really upset over something small and didn't want to be helped to calm down, though he eventually did on his own. I think he's bored and frustrated and doesn't have enough fun things to do that don't involve YouTube. Which really, mood? While I was out, I stopped in at Target (aslo for the first time in many months) and picked him up five white t-shirts and a pack of puff paints so he can make himself some shirt art. He was very enthusiastic about the idea, so I suspect I know what he'll be doing tomorrow.

I know what I will be doing tomorrow as well, and it's spelled MPRE. Ugh. I do not want to take this test! I took another practice test this evening and got 80% correct when the average was 60%, so that's good I guess, but I still don't want to take it. I passed this damn test when I was twenty six years old and it is not really that different, it is not even different between states! It is boring and fiddly and has rules that are dumb and I haaaaaaaaaate it. I would much rather be playing with the kittens, especially since this might be my last day with them. The rescue coordinator took in seven(!!!) two week old orphans yesterday and has been running herself ragged trying to care for them all. It is a lot easier to handle weanlings than bottlefeed, so she is going to try and move my guys somewhere so I can take half the itty bitty litter. I told her that was fine, but not until tomorrow afternoon because I need some sleep tonight! So tomorrow afternoon might bring some new kittens, we will have to see how it goes. Tonight I had to do my studying in the bedroom because Zuko kept noticing I was in the room and crying to be picked up. He's such a brat, I love him so much.

#quarantine #feral kittens #mpre

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solara-bean · 4 years

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This is the very extensive and detailed rant of a fed up black, female student of class 2020

-You are free to scroll past this if you want. I really just needed to get this off my chest. But if you have advice or are experiencing a similar situation, feel free to message me-

So first off, I haven't liked going to school since I was 9. And highschool has only deepened my loathing of it. But maybe I don't hate school in general. Maybe I just hate the schools I've gone to ( 4 in total ). This rant is about highschool specifically. Perhaps what I'm about to type is normal and I'm overreacting. But I'm tired of not talking about my problems because I'm worried that I'll sound like an ungrateful brat. Typing/ writing about my issues makes me feel better. And I really need to feel better.

So here are the main points in order of severity: Low income, Advisory, Graphic Arts and Discipline/Work Ethic

Low Income:

I've only ever gone to low income schools in my neighborhood. I hoped high school would be different but thanks to the crappy education of my old school and an even crappier selective enrollment test score, I couldn't get into the schools I wanted. Then again my single mother probably couldn't afford those other schools anyway.

My highschool shares a building with another highschool. And unfortunately they called dibs on the best features and have control of the heating and ac. We don't even have our own gym. We also have the least amount of space with the smallest class being mine of 144 seniors. So there's a lot of packed classrooms.

Speaking of having way too many students, recourses are slim as a result. Our best equipment, chromebooks, need to be reserved weeks in advance by the teacher and even then they still may not be able to get enough of them for their class. Said chromebooks can often be missing keys, not work at all or be stolen easily because of their small size.

A few other issues are terrible lunches ( I've been bringing lunch from home since sophmore year), very limited field trips, mice infestation, very few clubs ( if we have any idk ) and teachers have to pay for just about everything class related.

Advisory:

Advisories were created to prepare us for greek life in college. I honestly think it's to keep everyone in check but ok. Even so I have absolutely 0 interest in anything frat or sorority related ( no offense to those who do ) as well as many of my classmates but advisory is mandatory.

My first 2 years of advisory were hell. Most of my advisory sisters were either people I'd never talk to because we weren't in the same class, had nothing in common or they were straight up terrible people. I should mention that freshman year has the worst students because about 30% don't make to the next grade or just transfer. Most of my advisory sisters I had problems with were in that 30% ( a few had already repeated ).

Since I kept to myself there were very few incidents were I was put into a tense situation with them. The main conflicts involved our advisor, who I guarantee you was not the problem. She was essentially a poor, white, optimistic, young math teacher from out of town that was thrown to the slaughter. And my cowardly self watched not wanting to be next.

She ended up leaving by junior year so what was left of my advisory merged with another and got a new advisor. The only downside is that our new advisor is a firm believer in " sisterhood " and no cliques ( even if you converse easier with a certain group of people and advisory is already a forced clique in itself ). Maybe I'd be more up for advisory events , which we rarely have , if my advisory experience wasn't sullied so early on.

Graphic Arts:

The reason I chose my school was because it had an art class. In seventh grade I knew I wanted to have a career in art and that my talent was lacking but had potential. So you can imagine my horror when I learned that the art teacher had left once I'd gotten there.

I was sad but stayed positive and even highly recommended them to get another art teacher. Then by sophomore we got an art after school program ( 4:25 to 6 twice a week ). I managed to keep my grades the same and take the classes every week for the entire school year. I only missed about 4 days total. For once I actually enjoyed staying after school.

The class taught me so much and I didn't have to wait for the summer to take an art class downtown. Even better I got to interact with other young artists of my race ( there was usually only one other black kid at the summer classes ). Everything was finally looking up.

Then the art galleries happened. The school hosted one per semester. I brought my art to display but I couldn't stay cuz of a shitload of math homework. I got complimented the next day but still regretted not staying. So I vowed to attend the next one with even more pieces than before.

The night finally came and I was hyped. Me and two seniors were in charge of doing caricatures for free ( one senior gave me a dollar tho ). I had fun with that but noticed something weird...none of our art was displayed.

Apparently they cut it out for time along with the theatre clubs performance. And I would've been fine with that. If my family hadn't come.

The icing on the cake was when they turned off the lights in the hallway where we were drawing the caricatures so they could start the show for the performing art groups. I couldn't contact my family until the show was over and booooiii were they pissed. Especially my mom. I was more sad than anything. I had a feeling my school valued the performing art more and this just proved that. At least now we have an actual art class. And my art teacher is awesome and supportive as hell.

Discipline/ Work Ethic:

These are together cuz they've equally fucked me up. Don't get me wrong. I have a 4.2 gpa and 0 detentions.

The problem is my classmates.

I have been to soooo many class/school meetings about behavior and grade issues over the past 4 years. One of which a staff member said " now i know all of ain't bs-in' but why aren't those people helping the ones who are."

Like wow! Thanks. I hate it.

I'd be happy to help my fellow classmates. It's just that their version of help is cheating off my tests and copying my homework.

So yeah my bad. I've been sooo selfish.

I can count on my hand the amount of times I've been told that I'm doing a good job directly and not in front of a class as a way to embarrass them.

This year behavior was so bad that they made a competition to see which advisory would get the least demerits. Big mistake. My heart goes out to all the poor well behaved students who lost because of a few advisory mates. It only takes one. The record for most demerits in a day was 30 I think.

I forgot the competition was going on at some point cuz I've only gotten 2 demerits in 4 years. My advisory won second and we played the waiting game for our prize only to have a pizza party with 17 other advisories. The winning advisory was salty as hell. But hey we got free lunch at least.

I managed to get good grades simply by doing everything on time and having no social life. This was by choice really. I promised myself I'd do better in college but now I gotta study for ap.

It was actually ap literature that gave me a new perspective on my classmates work ethic. We were given a lengthy reading assignment but the due date was stretched by two class days and the weekend. Even though I'd been mentally drained lately ( by lately I mean since the 1st week of school ) and had other work to do, I completed it with slightly less annotations.

Upon the due date I discovered that I and one other classmate completed the reading. Even the valedictorian didn't do it!!! And this wasn't a one time thing either.

In fact my class is notorious for never doing work on time. I'm talking completing-a-project-in-the-class before-the-it's -due- for bad. And some people I understand. Some of them really need help and resources. But every one else. Excuses excuses. The extended due dates gave me extra free time but it made the work I completed on time feel pointless. Like I could've just not done it and not face any consequences.

I tried that and was stressed out all day to the point of doing the work anyway. School's got me whipped I guess.

So if I hate highschool so much why do I go on time everyday, miss at most 3 days a year, do my work, behave myself and study??? Simple. I'm trying to get out. Having a good gpa and test scores will get me more scholarships cuz God knows my mom can't afford art college ( I got into my first choice so yeah:). Really highschool has just been a means to an end.

I've had my good days and have made some friends but I really just wanna run to hills with my diploma in hand. And thats what's kept me going. But now we're quarantined.

And my school has decided to make work optional.....and I have all A's......

Needless to say I've barely done any work at all. If we never have to go back theres a good chance I won't. I'm so numb at this point that I don't care that we may not have a prom ( aka the only dance I was ever going to go to ).

I'm just done. Done and fed up.

But thank you to my mom, family, bestie, teachers and my classmates that actually want to have a future for keeping me going. If I don't completely give up it's thanks to you. Future me, I hope you get everything you want at art school:)

#school #highschool #class of 2020 #2020 #senior year #rant #lomg rant #if anyone wants to share their shitty highschool experience feel free #i actually left a lot of stuff out #like the freshman year camping trip #and social media drama #and spanish class #ughh im getting flashbacks #if you read this thanks it means a lot😊💗💗💗

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mdelpin · 5 years

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Gratsu Bingo 2019, Gratsu Week 2019 Prompt: Voice AO3 | FF.Net

Small Sacrifices

Disclaimer: All Fairy Tail Characters Belong to Hiro Mashima

Natsu heard muffled yelling coming from inside of the apartment he shared with his boyfriend Gray. Stopping for a moment, he put his ear to the door before fumbling through his pockets for his keys. It didn’t sound like Gray was fighting with anyone, but Natsu recognized the tone, his boyfriend was definitely frustrated about something.

“How the hell am I supposed to know the user’s intent?” Gray was yelling, “I don’t even know my intent.”

“I’m home.” Natsu closed the door behind him, greeted by the sight of his boyfriend sitting at his desk clad only in his boxers and staring daggers at his Chromebook. Natsu dropped his keys on the kitchen counter and walked over.

"What's going on?" Natsu asked before leaning over to kiss his boyfriend, making sure not to let any other part of his body come into contact with Gray.

Natsu worked in construction, and his clothes were covered in the usual mix of dust, dirt and whatever else he picked up during the day. He didn't want to get Gray dirty, it would only annoy him anyway, and he looked riled up enough already.

“It’s just some test I’m taking, nothing to worry about,” Natsu paused at this information, he’d thought Gray was on vacation this week. They’d made plans to go out to dinner for once.

“I thought you were on break,” Natsu peered at the tablet’s screen, only to be greeted by some sort of navigation interface. He was puzzled, Gray was studying to be a child psychologist, what class could he possibly be taking that required this?

Gray peered at him guiltily before closing his expression off once again. “I am, this is something else.”

Natsu arched an eyebrow, waiting for an explanation but none was forthcoming. He was tired after a long day at work so he decided to let Gray have his little mystery and kissed him one last time before heading to their bathroom to wash off the grime from his body and change into some clothes that would hopefully make Gray forget whatever was bothering him. He began to sing off-key with a grin, knowing it drove Gray nuts.

He paused in his singing when he heard another voice competing in volume. It was Gray, once again screaming at his tablet. What in the world was he doing? Natsu was getting very curious. He turned the hot water off and walked into their bedroom, wearing a towel around his waist.

He quickly found some clothes and put them on and when he heard Gray screaming about something called an umlaut decided maybe a walk on the beach might be warranted too. Gray clearly needed to relax.

Natsu stood behind his boyfriend watching the contents of his screen once again. His eyes narrowed when he realized that Gray was taking some sort of employment test. What was the idiot thinking?

Gray already worked twenty hours a week at his University on top of the hours spent studying and writing papers. They barely got to spend any time together as it was!

"Gray, we have a dinner reservation, remember?" Natsu tried to keep the irritation out of his voice, but the guilty expression on his boyfriend's face as he turned towards him let him know he'd forgotten.

“I know love, just give me thirty more minutes, okay?” Gray pleaded before muttering under his breath, “Maybe we should just stay home.”

Natsu was confused by those words, they rarely went out as it was. He moved away from Gray so as not to make it seem like he was pressuring him to hurry up, but he continued to watch his boyfriend struggle with the exam, looking through what looked to be a lengthy manual before settling on an answer. The poor guy looked absolutely miserable.

But true to his word thirty minutes later, Gray closed his computer and rushed to their bedroom to get dressed. He came out wearing Natsu's favorite, a dark blue button-down shirt that matched his eyes along with a pair of gray ripped jeans that hugged his every curve. After grabbing his wallet and keys, he sauntered over to Natsu and gave him a long, deep soulful kiss.

“Hey!” Gray greeted, smiling at Natsu’s dazed expression, “Sorry about earlier.”

Natsu could only nod, staring at him with undeniable longing. He shook his head slowly, and as the daze left his eyes, it was replaced by a smile that quite nearly took Gray's breath away. "Wow!"

Gray caressed Natsu’s cheek gently, chuckling at his boyfriend’s reaction before grabbing his hand and leading him out of their apartment.

“Where to?”

“I got us a reservation at that sushi restaurant you wanted to try out, you know, the one by the beach,” Natsu grinned happily, proud of himself for having remembered. But instead of looking excited, Gray only looked worried.

“That place is so expensive,” Gray mumbled.

“I know, but you work so hard, and I wanted to treat you a little during your break,” Natsu hugged Gray from behind, wrapping his arms around the other’s middle while resting his chin on the broad shoulders he loved.

"Can we go another time?" Gray had turned around to face him, and Natsu was having a hard time reading his expression.

When Gray saw Natsu's disappointment, he amended, "We could still go to the beach though, that'll be romantic, and maybe we can get some fast food on the way back."

“Fast food? But Gray, I wanted this to be special,” Natsu complained, it hadn’t been easy to get that reservation. He’d actually had to bribe someone for the first time in his life.

“Wasn’t it you who said we didn’t need to go anywhere to have something be special, all we needed was each other?” Gray reminded him.

“I said that when we were sixteen and had exactly zero money between us,” Natsu retorted and all of a sudden things started falling into place in his head like a jigsaw puzzle. He gave up on his fancy plans, already knowing it would be a disaster if he pushed.

“Fine, we’ll do what you suggested, but only if you promise to tell me what’s going on.”

Gray nodded in agreement, and they walked hand in hand towards the beach, which was only a few blocks from their small apartment. They remained silent, but once they arrived, they quickly took off their socks and shoes, letting the cool sand massage their feet as they walked towards the water. When they felt the first rush of waves cover their feet, they rolled up their pants and played as they always did, laughing along with the children around them who were doing the same.

After a few minutes of this, they found a secluded spot to sit and talk while waiting for the coming sunset. Gray sat on the chilly sand, legs crossed Indian style with Natsu leaning against him. He hugged Natsu's overly warm body to his chest and rested his head atop his lover's pink locks, enjoying the peacefulness of the beach around them.

Gray inhaled the salty air, letting the sounds of the waves crashing into the sand, the gulls squawking in protest and the families playing happily wash over him, and for the first time that day felt himself begin to relax.

He kissed Natsu’s head and smiled contentedly. It was nice to be able to spend time together like this. It sometimes astounded him how much he loved this man, even after so many years together. Just being like this was enough to make him happy, and he felt his worries slowly melt away.

But of course, the peace couldn't last forever, and Gray sighed when he heard Natsu ask the question he’d been dreading.

“What’s wrong?” Natsu broke the silence, his tone concerned, “Why are you looking for another job?”

Gray tensed up again, readying himself for the argument that was sure to follow. "Tuition went up again, and the cost of the textbooks I need for next semester is higher too."

“Is that all?” Natsu scoffed, turning around to glance at Gray, a reassuring smile at the ready, “I’ll just take a few more shifts, Laxus is always asking for people to come in and work overtime.”

“NO!” Gray snapped, startling Natsu with the intensity of his response.

"It's not fair for you to shoulder all of this, you work hard enough as it is, Natsu," Gray disputed hotly, "Your job is dangerous. If you're tired, you can easily get hurt!"

Natsu sighed, sad to be back to this old argument, "Why won’t you ever let my voice reach you? I’ve told you, I don't mind! If it helps you reach your dream, I will do it gladly."

“Natsu,” Gray groaned in frustration.

Natsu sat up and faced Gray, "I'm serious. Look, I'm not smart like you, I never had big goals to be anything like a doctor or a teacher. But I'm good with my hands, and I make a difference in my own way. I help build houses and make playgrounds. Sometimes, I fix things that are broken." Natsu smiled proudly, and Gray's heart skipped a beat at the brightness of it. "I help make our town nicer for others to enjoy."

Natsu cupped Gray's face as he continued, "But you, Gray, you're smart, and I love what you want to do with your life. I want to help you get there, please let me."

“You are smart, and a really hard worker,” Gray protested, “You’ve made a life for both of us since we graduated high school. Everything we have is because of you, and I feel like a fucking mooch.”

Natsu frowned, "Snowflake, you work even harder than I do. Between your course load and your work/study, you barely have any time for yourself. And that's your job right now, taking on another one is just going to make it worse. How much does it pay anyway?"

"Not much, " Gray admitted, "It pays by task, but I can do it from home, and I can help out."

“If I take extra shifts, I can make a lot more because it’ll count as overtime, “ Natsu pointed out, “It’ll only be for a little while. Besides,” Natsu added with a snort, “You looked absolutely miserable.”

“It did kind of suck, “ Gray agreed with a smile before sighing, “But I still feel guilty about everything you do for me. I can’t repay it.”

"I'm not looking for repayment dumbass, although if you were looking to do something for me, I could come up with a few ideas," Natsu smirked, waggling his eyebrows suggestively as he moved his body to where he was laying down on the sand with his head on Gray's lap.

Gray laughed and slapped Natsu’s shoulders playfully, “Pervert.”

"Mhmm, " Natsu accepted the accusation without complaint, moaning happily as he felt Gray's fingers in his hair, "In a couple of years, you'll be a doctor, and we'll be married, and we'll laugh at the small sacrifices we had to make along the way. We just have to hold on for a bit longer. That future is just around the corner."

“M-married?!” Gray stuttered, “You’ve thought about us getting married?”

“Haven’t you?” Natsu studied him curiously, smirking at the blush on Gray’s cheeks before closing his eyes as the fingers threading through his hair made him drowsy. “The guys at work already call you my wife, even your brother.”

Natsu didn't bother opening his eyes, the sharp tug on his hair was enough to let him know Gray's reaction, but he couldn't help teasing him further. "You'll look beautiful all swollen up with my kid."

“What?! I can’t get pregnant, I’m a guy!”

“Oh yeah, then I guess it’ll have to be me, I don’t mind, I like switching.”

“Moron, you’re a guy too!”

“Well,” Natsu grinned, “I guess we’ll just have to adopt the rugrats then. That’s probably for the best anyway, it would’ve been hard to be pregnant all the time when I tag along while you cure kids all over the world.”

“Natsu, that’s not even remotely how my job would work,” Gray facepalmed and then with growing alarm he asked, “Wait a minute! How many kids do you plan on us having?”

“Oh, tons! We’ll grab them from the orphanages where you’ll work,” Natsu giggled, not being able to help himself.

“Oh my god, just shut up!” Gray’s exasperation turned into laughter as he thought about Natsu’s words.

Yep, he loved this ridiculous man, and he let himself get carried away in the fantasy, envisioning a life with Natsu, chasing after little kids while pursuing their dreams. To his surprise, Gray found he loved the idea of it. The two of them married and starting a family together. He lowered his head, claiming Natsu's lips, smiling at the contented noises coming from the man beneath him.

“Come on, let’s go,” Gray urged Natsu off his lap.

“Where are we going?’ Natsu asked, confused by Gray’s sudden desire to leave the beach before the sun had even had a chance to set.

“Home,“ Gray winked before pulling a surprised Natsu to his feet. “Those kids aren’t going to make themselves.”

A/N I originally started this story in April, when I was the one taking that damn test. I'd never been so stressed out and writing this fic was going to be my reward for getting through it. It was initially going to be called What the Hell is an Umlaut?

I passed the test and started working only to realize I truly hated it. Thankfully my husband was okay with me quitting. I never got around to finishing it, and I'm glad that I found a prompt that fit where I wanted to go with it because I really like the way it came out. I hope you like it too!

Tagging @oceanwaves-blog because she asked me to :)

#fairy tail #gratsu #gratsubingo2019 #gratsuweek2k19 #ftlgbtales #ftfanfics #fluff #established relationship #gray x natsu #natsu x gray #my edits

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windschildfanfictionwriter · 6 years

Text

Nice Things

A/N: I think I mentioned this one a while back. Here is the one shot that developed from another story I’m working on. I will post it on Fanfiction as soon as I wrestle the answers from this Chromebooks framework on just HOW to do that. But for now I thought you guys would like this.

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Lavender was probably one of the most boring conversationalists Ron had ever met. She was vapid and gave no thought to the questions he asked trying to keep things going.

Here was the thing though.

Lavender was nice.

It was like a breath of fresh air. They would be doing homework together and she’d glance over, reading one of his answers and… ‘Oh, I like the way you worded that, Ron.’ They would be walking around the lake and she’d turn and blush and go ‘I never get tired of catching your eye. Have you ever seen a moonflower? That’s what it reminds me of, the petals.’ When she traced his chest with her hand she always smiled. When they ate together she never seemed to even notice what he put on his plate or how much he ate.

She said whatever came to mind and nothing that came to mind was ever bad about him and that was… It was a relief. He felt normal around her, like just being himself was good enough.

Best of all, when Ron gave compliments, she cared. She beamed and interlaced their fingers. She smiled shyly and tugged him along. She was sweet and talkative and wanted to be around him and said nice things about him and to him.

It made him realize no one else ever said anything nice to him. Outside of Harry who was determined to increase his confidence for Quidditch. Oh, he realized their teasing was in jest. He knew the small things they sniped at him for were just that. Small things. He knew the comments had no ill intent.

But they never stopped.

He couldn’t remember the last nice thing someone had said to him was. He wracked his brain and tried and tried and tried, but… there was nothing.

“You know,” Lavender said thoughtfully, using a little too much tongue to lick her lollipop. “Your hands have been pretty cold lately.”

“Oh,” Ron said, pulling away apologetically. “Sorry.”

Lavender shook her head, smiling. She picked up a pair of blue gloves from the shelf at the shop they were looking through in Hogesmeade before going over to the register and buying them.

“You don’t have to do that!” Ron tried to stop her, his ears turning red, but she was already walking back. Lavender grabbed his hand, spreading his much larger, longer fingers against her dainty digits.

“You know, I’ve had a crush on you since we were in the DA together last year,” she admitted.

“Really?”

“You were always so excited when you got a spell right. It was infectious. You’ve just got this grin that lights up the whole room and when you laugh? Everyone stops for a second and it just… melts the tension in the room.”

Ron didn’t know what to say or how to react.

Lavender didn’t seem to mind. She pulled the blue gloves on his hands. They had a heating charm in them. His fingers instantly becoming toasty.

“Thank you.”

He didn’t just mean for the gloves.

------------------

Of course, Lavender craved more than her boyfriend’s attention, she craved social attention. She thrived on it. Her personality going overboard when others were around.

Won Won was solely for Hermione’s ears and Ron wasn’t sure whether to be amused or horrified. She purposefully snogged him in a relentless almost desperate fashion when they were in public and it was becoming rather humiliating.

He definitely liked the physical contact.

It was just that he’d really rather do it somewhere less on display and… less. She tended to let her hand wander and that made him feel very uncomfortable. He wasn’t sure how to bring it up with her though. Every time he had the conversation in his head, the words came out too harsh and mean. He never wanted to be harsh or mean to Lavender.

Worse.

He’d officially run out of every topic he could think of and if they talked about what type of clothes she planned to buy on her winter holiday one more time, he might throw himself off the astronomy tower.

He missed Hermione.

Discussing the mechanics of a Charm. Arguing about what the best approach for house elf freedom was. Going over politics and the Ministry’s moves, what was You-Know-Whose influence and what was simply bad policy. Explaining historical facts from the wizarding cultures view versus muggle. Talking transfiguration methods and knit picking at what the other cares about.

He felt as if he hadn’t had an intelligent conversation in ages. Not that Lavender wasn’t smart. She just had different priorities and that was fine. Lavender wanted to work for her Aunt’s Fashion Magazine in the French wizarding community. She spoke the language fluently and seemed pretty talented when it came to magical sewing and design.

Ron had never been able to choose his own clothes before. He’d simply accepted whatever left over, hand me down, second hand items came his way and tried not to cringe too much about it so it left discussions… lacking. Unfortunately the more Ron tried to hint that they didn’t have much in common and that they were quickly running short, the harder Lavender clung. She avoided the conversation like the plague and it all left him feeling sick with guilt.

He’d hoped she felt the same way.

She didn’t.

Any time he tried to say anything now, her lips were covering his. She was desperate for this not to happen and Ron felt sickened at the idea of doing it. So he started avoiding her.

That did not sit well with the House of Gryffindor.

The house of chivalry and courage.

Hermione was smug and Harry was weary and Ron didn’t know what the fuck he was doing. He was drawing a blank. There was a giant empty slot where the guide to ‘How to Break up With a Nice Girl Without Hurting Her Feelings,’ should have been.

“You’re a right shitbag, Weasley,” Seamus told him one morning.

And what could Ron say to that?

He felt like a shitbag.

All those nice things Lavender had to say about him didn’t feel right anymore. They felt undeserved and Ron found himself looking in the mirror wondering if there was anything at all good about him. If only one person had good things to say and Ron was hurting that one person then what did that make him?

Why could he never do anything right?

-------------------

Ah, well, there was nothing like being poisoned and nearly dying to make everyone forgive you for being a douchebag. He supposed. So he was surprised and not surprised when Lavender showed up again on his last night in the hospital wing.

She came in looking at the ground, her lips pressed together and hair in a disarray. Ron stayed still, tense and expectant, but when Lavender looked up she smiled at him. A small thing that was too sad for such a pretty face and Ron told her that.

Her smile became more genuine.

She sighed. The noise whipping out with exasperation, though Ron didn’t think it was directed at him. She sat on the bed, directly on his legs to be more precise before reaching forward and lightly flicking him on the nose.

“We made a right mess of this, didn’t we?”

We.

Ron felt warm inside. Unused to not being blamed for everything.

“I’m sorry,” he told her, sincere.

Tears flooded her eyes, but she waved it away.

“Mother tells me I overdo things,” she admitted. “I refuse to recognize when something doesn’t fit and keep trying to shove the triangle into the circle hole because I want the triangle to fit into everything.”

She shrugged, looking up at the ceiling rather than him.

“So, I’m sorry too, I know you were trying to do it nicely and I just…”

Another sigh.

“It’s okay,” Ron was quick to assure you. “You really are amazing though. You’re going to go really far, literally, France is like a whole ‘nother world.”

He knew it was cheesy, but she laughed anyways before turning somber.

“I’m sorry people have been so nasty to you,” Lavender told the ceiling. “I was a coward and I didn’t want to admit to anyone that you had been trying to break up with me. I’ve never actually been broken up with before, you know, usually I’m the one who makes the decision.”

“Sorry,” Ron mumbled again, more for a lack of anything else to say.

Lavender laughed. It was loud and she snorted as she tried to stifle it.

“But Ron,” she finally looked at him, dark brown eyes practically glittering with mirth. “I have never seen or read anywhere, in the history of fashion magazines or romance novels someone worse at breaking up with someone. That’s the honest truth.”

Ron blushed, feeling his face and ears turning hot.

“I don’t exactly have a well of experience to pull from,” he mumbled.

Lavender’s mirth turned fond.

“Well, I’m glad I could be your first,” she kissed him then. A short, sweet kiss that was much more reminiscent of their time alone than out in public. Then she adjusted his shirt, smoothing it out for much longer than was needed. “I know you can’t help it, but when you’re all handsome and grown up and have that Auror job I know you’ll get… invest in bright blue scarves and shirts, like the gloves I got you. They bring out your eyes in the best way. Winter fashion is where you thrive. Not Fall. And for all that is good in this world, Ronald Weasley, do not let Hermoine Granger choose your clothes.”

Ron blinked.

“Why would…?”

She kissed him one last time, a bit deeper, to shut him up. His lips turned amused against her, a chuckle falling out between them. She was warm against him. Her forehead tapping against his lightly as she pulled away. Her fingers ran through his hair, her eyes fixated on it in a way he couldn’t name exactly.

“Ron?”

“Hm?”

“Don’t let them tell you that your feelings aren’t important. Okay? Don’t tell yourself that they aren’t important.”

She pulled herself away, detaching her body from his legs. He hadn’t even noticed when they’d gone numb. Ron felt himself flay a bit. He didn’t want to let her leave like that. With it being so one sided.

“You’re…” Ron swallowed, Lavender paused at the hospital door, not turning around. “I’m really glad that you were my first girlfriend and I think, if we’d had a few more things in common, that it might have turned into something more. I really mean it. You are so much more than just a pretty face.”

Because he knew she worried about that and they both knew people talked about her like that around the school. As if she wouldn’t amount to anything but some over glorified house wife and that was wrong.

“You don’t need to have perfect O.W.L.S or slave away at homework or sports to make something of yourself. Its hogwash. You’re brilliant. Wickedly brilliant. Schools just… school measures paperwork and only sees a tiny part of who a person is. It doesn’t measure how you do at life or with people or how much potential you have. You’re gonna do great.”

Her hand clenched against the door frame. She didn’t turn back to face him, but he saw her nod. Quick and sharp, her whole frame seeming to waver on the spot, and then her spine straightened and she wiped at her eyes with her sleeves and before Ron could say anything else, she marched out of the room altogether.

He sat back against the frame of the hospital bed, feeling lighter than he has in a good long time. Keeping the nice things she’d said close to his heart and repeating them as he fell asleep. If he kept them close enough, long enough, maybe they might give him the courage to ignore the small things that cluttered his heart like barbed wire.

Lavender Brown might not be his soul mate or such, but she’d taught him a lot. She would always hold a special place in his heart because of that. Harry and Hermione… he didn’t think either of them would understand. Ron wasn’t the best at explaining things and neither of them were the best at listening when he stumbled over his words and meanings.

It would be just a nice thing between Lavender and him.

And that was fine.

#ron weasley #ron weasley defense squad #fanfiction #lavender brown

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lalka-laski · 3 years

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Choose: The ability to speak any language or play any instrument? As much as I'd love to play an instrument, language fascinates me far more. Are you planning to spend a large sum of money any time soon? Well I'm planning a wedding so uhh... yeah. Do you prefer listening to music through speakers or headphones? Headphones feel more intimate and allow me to daydream more vividly along to the music I'm listening to The last time you injured yourself: How did it happen? I'm a walking disaster so it's anyone's guess If you met yourself, would you befriend them? I think so. I'm very friendly and make a good first impression.

In your opinion, what’s the best cure for the hiccups? A spoonful of peanut butter. Or sipping water upside down is a good backup when peanut butter isn't handy. The shoes you wore today: What do they look like? They're metallic rose gold flip flops If you have a garage, do you tend to just fill it with junk? I don't have a garage but I do have a storage unit in the basement of my building that's filled with lots of junk I hardly ever touch Would you prefer to live in an apartment, house or other? I love the convenience of apartments/condos or other rented spaces. Having free, built-in maintenance is just so handy and perfect for someone like me who is well... not. The room you’re in currently: Does it have carpet, tiles or other? Tiles How cold are you currently? The room I'm in is for some reason, several degrees chillier than the rest of the office. So I'm shivering. Do you ever feel that people don’t actually know The Real You? I'm a Type Four so that's really my whole mindset. What’s your current occupation? Would you change it, if you could? I'm just an admin assistant. It's not my dream job and I know I'm capable of and qualified for something more challenging and lucrative. But I'm so mentally exhausted by life that I don't WANT that. At least not right now. Are you wearing perfume today? What does it smell of? Not today. I hardly ever wear scented stuff. The last time you cried: Why were you upset? (Or happy, as the case may be) I was just frustrated. By life in general (see my response 2 questions ago). When did you last have toothache? Uhhh it's been awhile. I did recently have a HELL of a canker sore that left me in excruciating pain though. What are you planning to have for dinner tonight? (Or what did you have) I really have no idea. Glenn's working late and I just haven't had the energy to cook proper meals lately so it looks like Grubhub's probably on the menu What’s your favorite hot drink? I'm a coffee and tea fiend. I keep it simple with my coffee- just black, but I love experimenting and exploring with all different flavors of tea. When was the last time you sneezed? This morning I think If you had the day off tomorrow, what would you do with your time? Well I have the day off from my full-time job but I'm nannnying Do you prefer laptops or computers? Laptops are certainly more convenient but I like using a mouse. I've been meaning to buy myself a wireless one for my Chromebook Does your mobile phone have a touch screen? Mhm Name one food item you eat fairly often: Popcorn Do you prefer talking on a mobile or landline? Mobile I suppose but really neither The last thing you took a photo of: What was it? My dad, uncle and Glenn all posing with my grandpa Do you prefer writing with pens or pencils? Pens by a landslide Name one place you’d like to visit as soon as possible: My family cottage in Canada Name one song you could listen to over and over: Lately it's been La Llamada by Selena Has anyone ever used a pick up line on you? What did they say? I don't think so. If someone has it obviously wasn't memorable to me... What’s one good thing that happened today? I just got chatting with a former patient who is 19 weeks along in her pregnancy and that was lovely to see! Name the last good movie you watched: The Joker Are you any good at cooking? What’s your speciality? I am pretty good and I'm also learning, experimenting, and improving. My specialties are cozy, comfort foods like soups and casseroles. Oh and appetizers! I've been call the "app queen."

Do you prefer plain, coloured or patterned socks? I don't like socks at all so to incentivize myself to wear them, I buy ones with cute designs and cartoon characters. Yes, I'm 5. When you wake, what is it that you think of most? How much I don't want to wake up and leave my bed. No matter what I have planned for the day ahead, that's almost always my thought. Are you home alone currently? Nope, work When was the last time you gave up on something/someone? I'm not sure. I have a defeatist attitude so I tend to do that often.

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un-enfant-immature · 5 years

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Pixelbook Go review: a Chromebook in search of meaning

Few, if any, saw coming the Chromebook’s utter dominance of the K-8 category. In hindsight, it’s easy to see why the systems have been such a success story, of course: low prices, coupled with ease of wide-scale deployment and lockdown make them a perfect fit for the classroom. Fifteen million Chromebooks were sold in 2018 alone, with schools serving as the major catalyst.

But manufacturers are looking beyond the classroom for the future of the category. Google’s facing increased competition from super-cheap PCs supported by Microsoft, and those schools that have purchased systems aren’t due for refreshes. It’s no surprise, then, that average Chromebook prices are expected to rise across the board as more companies target mainstream use.

Selling Chromebooks outside of the classroom, on the other hand, has been a bit of a tougher life. After all, finding a powerful, reasonably priced PC isn’t hard in 2019. That’s part of what made the original Pixelbook such an oddity. The $999 price point qualified the device as a premium laptop. And while ChromeOS has certainly made some major leaps in the last several years, it has never been entirely clear who the product is for.

The same goes for the Pixel Slate. Both were nice enough pieces of hardware designed to communicate that there is a place for ChromeOS in the premium category. I don’t know that Google ever anticipated selling a lot of the things, so much as drawing a line in the sand — a kind of reference design mentality that gave birth to the Pixel line.

Google’s recent hardware event was, perhaps, something of a referendum on the play. The original Pixelbook, while not discontinued, has yet to get a refresh two years after launch. Heck, even the troubled Pixel Buds got a reprieve as the company previewed their successor. The Pixelbook, on the other hand, got the Go.

The new device isn’t a Pixelbook replacement — at the very least, Google’s looking to sell through its back stock, with some deep discounts earlier this year. Rather, the device seems to be more a tacit admission that the company was shooting a bit too high the first two times around.

With a $649 starting price, the Go is certainly more in line with what people are expecting from the category. Of course, I’ll admit that I got some pushback when I used the word “budget” to refer to the contrast between the Go and its predecessor. Certainly the standards for what qualifies as budget differ a great deal between the Chromebook category and the rest of the industry. As much as Google wants to push back against the notion, price has always been a key factor in adoption.

With devices routinely priced less than $200, the Pixelbook Go is actually toward the high end of the spectrum. Click through the listing and you’ll discover that prices go up quite a bit from there. In fact, you can currently spec the device up to $1,399 on Google’s site, which crosses over well into the premium category for most users. It’s honestly a pretty far cry from the company’s mobile strategy, where pricing continues to be a key distinguisher from competing flagship manufacturers like Samsung and Apple.

All told, the Pixelbook Go is a more compelling proposition than the original Pixelbook, based on price alone. But there’s nothing about the device that signals a company that is confident of what it wants to do in the category. At most, the Go is Google’s way of demonstrating confidence that there exists a future for such mid-tier devices, as companies like Acer attempt to look toward a life beyond the classroom.

The places where Google cut corners are almost immediately apparent. The device lacks the premium feel of the original product. Say what you will about the original Pixelbook, but it was a nice-looking device. At first glance, at least, the Go doesn’t distinguish itself much from other Chromebooks. The lovely glass and aluminum is gone, and in its place is a matte magnesium alloy that lends it a more plasticky finish.

The laptop comes in two Googley-named colors: Just Black and Not Pink. Google sent me the former, which is, well, just black. Honestly, it could have benefited from a touch of color beyond the small, white “G” on the tip of the lid. The salmony Not Pink pops a bit more. Honestly, Google should have gone full old-school iBook and offered up a bunch of different colors.

The device is portable, certainly. It’s a bit lighter than the original at 2.3 pounds to its 2.4 pounds. It’s a hair or two thicker, however, at 13.4mm to its 10.3. Carrying it around in my backpack for a few days certainly didn’t make my back miss my 15-inch MacBook Pro. The ridged bottom is a nice touch, too. It’s really easy to carry it with one hand.

Beyond aesthetics, the lower price means cutting some other corners. The biggest difference is the lack of a 360 hinge. Turns out those are pretty expensive — and one of the primary things that drove up the price in the original Pixelbook. For my own uses, it’s honestly not a huge loss. Testing the original Pixelbook, I didn’t find too many instances that required something other than a standard laptop setup.

Those looking to purchase the device for creative applications may miss it, however, along with the loss of pen input. A smaller loss is the lack of the edge to edge track pad — turns out those are relatively expensive to manufacturer, as well. The keyboard has grown on me. It’s certainly quiet, as advertised. The keys are on the soft side, especially coming from over on the MacBook side of things, but they offer a nice bit of travel for a laptop.

The screen is actually larger than on the original Pixelbook, jumping a full inch up to 13.3. That said, total resolution is down by default, at 1920×1080 (166 ppi) versus 2400×1600 (235 ppi). You can still upgrade to a 4K screen, for a price — $1,399, specifically. Again, one wonders precisely who that specific price point is for.

The Go retains the two USB-C port setup. That was one of the bigger critiques with the original system, but Google’s not standing down on this one. Perhaps I’m not the target demographic here, but four ports seems like a pretty good compromise, especially for those who like to dock their systems at work for external monitors and the like.

The processor has been upgraded from a 7th-gen to 8th-gen Intel (as you’d hope after two years), though the base level system starts at an m3, rather than i5. There are, however i5 and i7 options. As in everything, an upgrade. RAM is the same, at either 8 or 16GB, while storage has been shrunk down at the base level, starting at a paltry 64GB instead of 128. Given how much you rely on cloud storage, that may be moot.

ChromeOS is still limited. I’m looking forward to a day when I don’t have to stipulate that with every review, but this ain’t it, chief. It makes sense in an educational setting, but the transition from Windows or MacOS will continue to be rocky for many. The addition of Google Play opens up the app considerably, but a fraction of apps are built with a non-mobile form factor in mind.

Some apps, meanwhile, just aren’t here. I’ve been considering bringing the device with me on an upcoming trip to China. The security and stated 12-hour battery life are big wins for that trip, but I’m not sure how to replace Audacity for the podcast editing I usually do on the plane. I am, however, open to any suggestions you might have.

Like the original Pixelbook, the Go seems to be a device in search of meaning. The $300 price drop is a step in the right direction, but Google’s competing with far cheaper offerings from third parties. I’m still struggling with reasons to recommend a Chromebook outside of the classroom, when there are so many affordable Windows options out there. Perhaps as a secondary, travel device. But even so, how many people need that specific use case?

The Go is clearly Google’s attempt to lead the way for manufacturers looking to explore Chromebook life outside the classroom. It has some nice hardware perks, but it’s not the revolution or revelation ChromeOS needs.

#TechCrunch

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jouska-the-deer · 8 years

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Jouska’s Storytime

Want to hear about how I called out my permanent substitute teacher for being horrible at his job today?

Alright. So, I was in my first-hour Creative Writing class and the sub was talking about how to write non-fiction, more specifically, newspaper articles. I have no idea what writing newspaper articles have to do with creative writing, but I digress.

Anyway, so the teacher told us to do a fifteen-minute quick write in the style of a newspaper article, after showing us a childish video about making sure to include the who, what, where, when, why, and how when making a headline to an article.

Unlike how things usually go, I actually had an idea for a true story to write about instantly. My idea was to write about yesterday when he gave us, a class of juniors and seniors, a worksheet intended for third and fourth graders. I wrote it all out and I thought it was pretty awesome.

So, after the time was up, he asked if anyone wanted to share their newspaper article quick write. I couldn’t help myself from smiling like an idiot while he looked around, and he soon noticed. He asked me if I wanted to share, and I responded by saying he wouldn’t want me to. (You know, because I spent the entire paper basically mocking him) He said that I should share it anyway, and I said I’d read him the headline and see if he still wants me to share the entire thing. He agreed. This is the headline (With the name of my school changed for obvious reasons):

Yesterday at Golden Hill High School, school teacher Mr. C assigned a worksheet intended for grades three and four to a group of juniors and seniors for a lesson on facts and opinions

I could tell that he was at least a little uncomfortable, but the thing about Mr. C, is that he always wants to look like he’s unfazed, and has the upper hand. He told me to continue reading, saying that it could be an interesting story. This was a bad idea for him to do.

So, because I feel like typing, here’s the entire paper that I wrote. Please note that I only spent like, fifteen minutes on writing it, so it’s nothing award worthy.

On the morning of January tenth, 2017, at approximately 8 AM, A permanent substitute teacher by the name of Mr. C assigned a worksheet that many of his students found to be very easy. After the class had a small debate, I asked Mr. C where he got the worksheet, and he did not respond.

Later that day, I decided to get the answers myself. At approximately 12:50 PM, I used the free time in my class and a Chromebook to find the source of the easy worksheet.

Using the copyright and source information at the bottom of the paper, I discovered that the paper came from “k12reader.com”. Once I searched the worksheet title, “Fact and Opinion: Switch it Up”, I found the download page for the paper.

What I saw was shocking. In the description of the worksheet, it was stated that the assignment was recommended for grades three through four.

It was appalling that a high school teacher would assign such a low-level worksheet to a group of students who are almost legally adults.

When asked about the difficulty of the paper, one student, who will remain anonymous, stated that the paper must have been for elementary school students. She went on the say that she had heard many complaints about Mr. C and that she was not surprised that he would assign the paper.

What does this say about our current educational system? Will things improve? Will students be able to learn things at their current level soon? Only time will tell.

So yeah. After I finished reading the paper, Mr. C wasn’t looking too great. One of the students in the back of the classroom said out loud, “Exposed!”, which I think was really funny. Then a bunch of students started breaking out into a discussion, and Mr. C tried his best to get everyone to calm down.

One girl spoke up and told Mr. C that he shouldn’t be giving us worksheets for third graders, and he responded by saying that I just wrote a random paper and that it wasn’t necessarily true. I then clarified that everything I wrote was true and that if everyone also did some research, they’d find the same thing. In fact, here’s that website page I talked about. I want you to see exactly what I was talking about.

Mr. C then tried to defend himself by saying that it was only recommended for those grades and that it was fine to give to us. A bunch of students then pointed out that it was still recommended for a very low level, and that everyone was still too smart for the worksheet. (Like, seriously. Most of us have taken college English classes by this point.)

He went on to say that not all of us knew about the difference between fact and opinion and that there was no way to tell if everyone already knew the information. (Uh, ever heard of a pre-test?) Then he said there was no way that third and fourth graders are actually working on that worksheet because it was too high level.

I began to giggle, and he noticed. He looked at me with a confused look, and I asked him if he remembered when he was teaching us about plot diagrams. He said yes, and asked why. I told him that when we were working on plot diagrams, I told my sister about it, and she said that she was working on it at the same time and that it was review for her. I then talked about how she wrote a book using the plot diagrams, and that she was 11 at the time.

Man, Mr. C looked so offended it was hilarious. He then told be that maybe my sister was smarter than I was. I responded in monotone with, “my eleven-year-old sister?” and he replied with, “yes”. Like, uh, you just got done saying that no kids in third and fourth grade were studying this stuff, I stated that my young sister was studying that stuff, and then you try to say she’s smarter than me? Like, really? What the heck was his logic?

Then, he randomly picked a fight with a girl in the class. Like, he just started talking about how everyone should do his assignments regardless of how easy they are, then scolded a random girl for not turning an old assignment in. They continued to argue for a good ten minutes before Mr. C cooled down.

After the class ended and I went to my second hour class, one of my friends congratulated me for finally calling him out, and said that she would have called him out eventually if I hadn’t. I also got a high five from another friend. Then I showed the newspaper quick write to a couple of my friends just to brag, and they laughed a bit, and it was awesome.

Seriously, today was such a confidence boost for me. I wasn’t planning on sharing that quick write with the class, but now I’m glad I did. I may not be learning anything new about creative writing in that class, but at least Mr. C’s constant foolishness has gotten me to become better at calling people out for their nonsense. So, I almost think I should thank him. He’s helped me become more confident, even if it was at his expense.

#Jouska's Thoughts #Jouska's Storytime #Long Post #School #I'm sorry this was just too awesome not to talk about #I doubt anyone will actually read any of this but I still wanted to post it #I've never been more proud of myself before

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zipgrowth · 6 years

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Analysis: Is Higher Ed Ready for the Tech Expectations of the Teens of 2022?

One overused catchphrase in education is that learning should be “student-centered.” But what if we took that to its logical conclusion and also made it the goal of our education technology predictions?

We’d need to consider not just what technology products students are exposed to in the classroom, but also across the rest of their lives. Especially if those students are teens, within sight of leaving K-12 and moving into higher education.

Yes, teens. Messy, motivated, tech-drenched 15 year-olds, the high school sophomores of today who will be entering college or the workforce in 2022, a mere three years from now. Not quite enough time for our robot overlords to overtake us, but both distant and soon enough to make us wonder.

What will these teens expect of tech based on their current experiences? You can extrapolate by drawing converging lines from K-12 education technology and home consumer technology to see how they might overlap and intersect. Those interactions look a lot different than just evaluating consumer or edtech trends in isolation.

The Cloudscape: Floating in a Sea of 1s and 0s

For background, just consider the previous decade of their lives. They went into first grade when Apple was rolling out the first iPad, in 2010. A year later, in their second grade, Google launched the first Chromebooks. This means they know a K-12 where the promise of mobile 1:1 school computing is becoming a reality.

More important, these kids are way beyond the tired term “digital natives.” If you want to be picky about it, there’s no one under the age of 30 who has not grown up with the internet. After all, the first web browser—Netscape Navigator—was introduced in 1993, when today’s three-decade-old adult was in preschool.

The 15-year-old today is more a sibling of cloud computing, of apps that are available from any screen, of mobile devices in many sizes and form factors that go beyond last century’s laptops. Being connected, as is required to get iPads and Chromebooks up and running, is assumed.

Two other external factors also are at play in this teen-centric cloudscape.

First is the evolving nature of education technology. It’s hard to make a case that there is still a separate edtech industry. Nearly every education “product” that a teen or teen’s teacher touches today has either a digital component or alternative. It’s not like 40 years ago in the late 1970s when a single Apple II in the back of the classroom had explorers endlessly dying of dysentery on the Oregon Trail.

Second is the reality of what I call tech compression. There used to be a much greater separation between the worlds of consumer technology and education technology. It was, in essence, a time lag: a consumer tech product would be introduced and, if worthy, it would be about a decade before that product would start showing up in classrooms in any numbers.

There was a very obvious downside. Any student or educator walking into a tech-lagged classroom effectively stepped back in time when they entered. But the less-appreciated upside was that this slowness of centralized school evaluation and procurement could help prevent mis-purchases, of buying into a fad. The consumer market got to do the vetting before a shipment ever arrived at a district loading dock.

However, this lag began to erode when the rise of cloud computing made it possible for edtech startups to flood the market with educational applications, the expansion of broadband internet gave those apps an easy distribution channel into campuses, and an increasing number and variety of mobile devices provided them an in-school abode. Not just that, but outside of schools tech was increasingly pervasive and familiar. Add to that multiple avenues of adoption—that is, teachers bringing in tech, not just the central district office—and the tech lag compressed.

What had once been a decade from consumer introduction to classroom adoption shrank to two-to-three years. If that.

The protective effect of the earlier delay in preventing fad purchases may now be largely gone. But at the same time, teachers and teens can now walk into many schools seamlessly, with their powerful consumer tech intact. This isn’t true in all schools, especially in hard-to-cheaply-connect rural areas, despite loudly touted progress. Though EducationSuperhighway estimated last October that 40.7 million new students have been connected to high-speed access since 2013, and 98 percent of school districts now meet the Federal Communications Commission’s 100 kpbs/student goal for internet access, there remain 2.3 million more students left to connect.

In October 2018, 40.7 million more students have access to high-speed internet than did in 2013, for a total of 44.7 million students. Source: EducationSuperHighway

So today’s 15-year-olds are floating in a cloud of digital support infrastructure, suspended a bit more firmly outside of school but not necessarily flat on their faces on campus anymore, either.

What edtech and consumer trends will be significant for when a teen leaves high school?

A trend, in this case, is a series of crossover developments that have staying power. It doesn’t have to be dominant today, but it needs to show the ability to persist, grow and not be a transient fad. It should also be supported by data and demonstrable behaviors.

Let’s pick three. Not the only three, but a significant three, for three years from now.

Source: Futuresource Consulting

1. Chromebooks, Windows 10, and Apple (uh oh)

The rise of Chromebooks will come as no surprise to anyone who has followed the intense increase in popularity of the inexpensive notebooks in classrooms. In 2017—the last full year for which it publicly released numbers—Futuresource Consulting estimated that Chromebooks had 58.3 percent of new mobile computing device shipments in U.S. K-12 education, a number that’s been rising since 2013 and has been above 50 percent every year since 2015. Reported percentages for quarters in 2018 appear to be similar.

District officials I’ve spoken with love the centralized cloud management and the low price points (usually $200-300) that allows them to afford, as one put it, “spares.”

This Chrome OS share, of course, has made Microsoft angry. And determined. Outside of the U.S., Futuresource stats show Windows had 62.6 percent of the K-12 mobile computing shipment market in 2017, a percentage that’s been relatively stable for several years. But in the U.S., it was only 21.6 percent in 2017, and has been just north of 20 percent every year since 2015. Microsoft has countered by working with partners over the past two years to introduce sub-$300 Windows 10 devices into the U.S., and its own Surface Go device specifically aimed at the K-8 student market.

The big loser in this battle? Apple. The early rise of the iPad peaked in 2012-13 at about 40 percent of shipments. By the end of 2017, iOS was below 15 percent. Admittedly, this is new shipments only, not installed base. But with more high school students being exposed to an increasing number of Chromebooks first, and Windows 10 devices second, this presents a challenge to Apple.

Our 15-year-olds may have less affinity for pricey Apple computing hardware by the time they get to college.

One exception: upscale wearables and headphones. Moving to today’s consumer market, tech buyers are shifting to more functional and expensive fitness devices, and it’s here where Apple shines. A different Futuresource report notes Apple is the largest connected watch vendor with 20 million units shipped in 2018, followed by Fitbit and Fossil. Apple also does well in headphones. Futuresource reported that at the end of Q4 2018, Apple AirPods dominated the “true wireless” headphone category and average selling prices for headphones overall continued to climb faster than shipments as consumers looked for more features, like wireless and noise-cancelling models.

So Apple may wind up owning teen allegiance to wearable digital accessories, even as it loses hands-on loyalty in traditional laptops and tablets.

Kids trying VR at the Pacific Science Center in Seattle. Photo Credit: Frank Catalano

2. Extended reality is better together

If there’s a single tech category in education where the hype is on overdrive, it’s extended reality (XR). XR is really a reality continuum: at one end is “real” reality. That’s followed by augmented reality, or digital overlays on real environments. Then there’s mixed reality, commonly (but not always) thought of as virtual objects that can be manipulated on a real background. And at the other end is virtual reality, where both the objects and environment are digital.

Despite a lot of progress at every point along this spectrum, XR is a slow-moving edtech trend. The problem is that really good, realistic XR equipment is expensive, and there is a paucity of cohesive classroom curriculum that makes use of the technology.

There are attempts to jumpstart it. ZSpace, which has played in the AR/MR part of the spectrum for several years, launched its first Windows 10 laptops integrating its technology in 2018, supporting educational activities in which students wear special untethered glasses and use a stylus to manipulate 3D objects. Microsoft, perhaps best known for its several-thousand-dollar HoloLens headset, recently made a pledge that buyers of much lower-priced Windows Mixed Reality headsets would get 25 hours of free STEM curricula. Google, Acer, Lenovo, ClassVR and many others are trying to improve the in-school experience, with Futuresource estimating there were about 20 companies at London’s Bett edtech show in January showcasing AR/VR software or hardware.

Still, the reality is extending reality costs. Today’s 15-year-olds are most likely to only have computer lab-like experiences with XR by the time they graduate. Futuresource estimates more than 15 percent of U.S. schools will have a VR “class kit” by 2021.

But what about outside of school? Some of the same hardware challenges persist. There is still a need for cheap, high-resolution, fast-refreshing, fully wireless headsets—with a wide variety of great content. Yes, hard-core gamers will buy wired or expensive headsets, as will corporate training departments (Walmart has). But as a result of the affordability-quality conundrum, many consumers are getting their first high-end experience with virtual reality in VR arcades, reflecting a trend toward location-based social VR experiences that conceptually look an awful lot like … a school computer lab.

Barring some amazing, abrupt price cuts and technology improvements, the typical XR experience of the teen entering 2022 will be less Ready Player One and more group social outing.

3. Smart speakers are an AI gateway

Source: Consumer Intelligence Research Partners

Perhaps the biggest consumer tech trend that’s virtually invisible inside the K-12 classroom today is smart speakers. But you can anticipate it will have a major impact on teen tech expectations as our very verbal artificial intelligences overwhelm homes and hotels over the next three years—and become a gateway to an entirely new tech product category.

Consumer Intelligence Research Partners (CIRP) tallied the U.S. installed base of smart speakers by the end of 2018 at 66 million units, up from 36 million at the end of 2017. Of the speakers people own, Amazon Echo and its offspring are 70 percent of the installed base, Google Home is 24 percent, and Apple HomePod has 6 percent. Several market research firms track smart speakers and generally align on these proportions and the remarkable rate of growth.

In case it’s not obvious, Apple’s sole expensive HomePod isn’t doing as well as the full smart speaker families that Amazon and Google offer. Globally, according to other firms like Canalys, Apple is essentially a rounding error. Yet the number of people overall with more than one speaker has boomed: CIRP pegs it at 35 percent of owners, up from 18 percent a year ago.

While Futuresource earlier found that, as purchases of smart speakers have moved from early adopters to the mainstream, the most popular uses clustered more toward music and information. But increasingly, these speakers’ reach has also extended in a variety of ways.

Parents, for example, are being pitched the Echo Dot Kids Edition. Amazon’s Alexa Fund has invested in startups that target kids at home. One, Bamboo Learning, interactively teaches music theory and math. A second, Novel Effect, provides sound effects and background music for parents who read certain books out loud to their children at home. So even though understandable privacy concerns may keep smart speakers out of classrooms, kids at home are hearing voices for education.

Hotels and dorm rooms also are installing smart speakers as standard equipment. Amazon’s Alexa for Hospitality initiative is putting Echo Dots in several Marriott hotel brands, including Aloft, Westin, Autograph and St. Regis, complete with a list of commands they’re pre-programmed to handle. For college housing, St. Louis University is tucking Dots into every student residence after Arizona State University already did so for an engineering student residence.

Alexa at your service in hotels, and many other places. Photo Credit: Frank Catalano

Now add a screen. And when you do, you’ve edged into the territory of true virtual assistants. One Google Home Hub application in use at hotels in Las Vegas, San Francisco and New York City applies “Interpreter Mode” to provide visual and verbal real-time translation, of 27 languages, between non-English speaking hotel guests and staff.

Futuresource estimates that home consumer electronics of all kinds with built-in voice assistants shipped 119 million units worldwide in 2018. That’s expected to reach 504 million units by 2022, a compound annual growth rate of 43 percent.

While smart speakers may not be in a high school classroom for various good reasons, voice assistants are in every other part of a teen’s world. By 2022, they’re likely to be as much of a background expectation, as fast and pervasive internet access is today.

Not a straight line to the future

Taken together, just these three trends paint a different picture of what 2022’s incoming college freshman is likely to expect in tech, than just by focusing on what’s happening at the institution level.

Of course, a lot can upend even a three-year forecast. All it might take for wearables would be a major, health data-related privacy breach. It’s also not possible to predict a truly dramatic technology leap that could knock everything sideways, either by itself or in combination with a second new development, such as how smartphones and broadband internet intersected a decade ago.

But it’s instructive to focus less on the technology and where it’s used, and more on the individual that’s using tech across environments. Over the next three years, that average 15-year-old may know extended reality as a primarily social or group activity, will have less classroom exposure to Apple products, and be ready to accept smart speakers with their voice assistants as a transitional step to full virtual assistants.

And if you’re still wondering about our robot overlords and where they fit in—well, what do you think the current K-12 boom in coding is for?

Analysis: Is Higher Ed Ready for the Tech Expectations of the Teens of 2022? published first on https://medium.com/@GetNewDLBusiness

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gesteckt1 · 6 years

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Neither machine has a screen you could honestly describe as good. Colours are none too vivid and the viewing angles mediocre. There’s not a lot of brightness about either. But the Acer’s glossy screen - the Samsung’s panel is matte - is the least worst of the two in all ways, unless you plan on being outdoors a lot, when reflection becomes an issue, as it does with all shiny panels.The Acer is also the better connected, with three USB 2.0 ports, 10/100Mbps Ethernet, HDMI and VGA connectors against the Samsung’s single USB 2.0, one USB 3.0 and HDMI. Both machines come with single-band 2.4GHz 802.11n Wi-Fi but without optical drives. Samsung gives you Bluetooth but Acer doesn’t.I’m not a fan of Samsung's positioning the USB and HDMI ports at the back. I prefer my ports, sockets and power jacks on the side where I can see the little buggers. Twice I folded the Samsung shut only to notice something I’d forgotten about sticking out the back as I made to shove it into my backpack.

ticking out, both machines have SD card slots. But when stuffed into the Samsung, a card sticks out to the tune of half its length, which is a truly catastrophic design failure.I reckon nine out of ten punters will want to stick a 16GB or 32GB SD card into their S3 as the first order of business and leave it in there. After system requirements, you are left with less than 11GB of SSD space for files. Good luck with that.Accessing the oily parts of the Acer is very straightforward: just remove one screw and the cover panel unclips. Prising the back of the Samsung off would have required more screwdriver-induced damage to the plastic case than I was prepared to inflict on a machine not mine to abuse. Even if it had been my machine I still might not have risked it.Both Chromebooks run Linux, but the Acer does so more stably - and with better support for the built-in devicesIf the limitations inherent in Chrome as an operating system are just too much for you then you can jump ship to Linux. Installing on the Acer was by far the easier job and I had Ubuntu up and running in dual-boot in about an hour with everything working tickety-boo.

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The Samsung was more of a problem. After several hours, much ranting, some raving, and even a bit of wailing and gnashing of teeth, I finally got it running but the trackpad and SD card reader refused to work, and the entire machine froze up on me several times. Not, on balance, a good use of time.Google’s own wording gives you some idea what to expect when it comes to battery life. The C7’s removable 2500mAh battery is good for “up to four hours”. The S3’s unrated and fixed battery will keep you working for “over 6.5 hours”. Looping a 720p video turned in times of 3 hours 10 minutes and 4 hours 35 minutes, respectively. So in general use, you can expect a solid six hours from the Samsung and around four from the Acer.Has Google cracked the Chromebook second time around? Just about. Clearly you need to be in the market specifically for a cheap and smallish machine for day-to-day web surfing and some light media consumption, but assuming you are then both of these machines do a good job and the price is certainly right.

If I was buying one it would the Samsung because it’s lighter, has the superior keyboard, is more resilient to knocks and drops, and has the longer battery life. That is what I want from a Chromebook, though the sticky-out SD card is a very big drawback.The Acer counters with a better screen, an extra USB port, Ethernet and a proper hard drive plus a price tag that’s £30 lower. Which is what my someone like my mum wants from a Chromebook. And it has much better (unofficial) Linux support.Proving that last year's skunkworks Project Sputnik effort wasn't a one-off experiment, Dell has upgraded its Ubuntu Linux–powered XPS 13 Developer Edition laptop to include a new, higher-resolution screen.When the Developer Edition XPS 13 first shipped in November 2012, it came with a 13.3-inch panel with a 1366-by-768 pixel resolution. The new version that was announced on Monday packs a new, full-HD display that not only runs at 1920-by-1080, but is also brighter and offers wider viewing angles.

Everything else about the laptop remains the same. It still has a third-generation Intel Core i7 processor with Intel HD 4000 graphics, 8GB of RAM, and a 256GB SSD; it weighs just 1.36kg (2.99 lbs).Like the original version, the new XPS 13 Developer Edition is a collaboration between Dell and Canonical, makers of the Ubuntu Linux distribution, which built a custom OS image complete with high-quality drivers for the bundled hardware.The project began as a public beta program, in which Dell solicited feedback from developers about what they would like to see in their ideal notebooks. The effort garnered enough interest and support that Dell was eventually convinced to bring the resulting concept laptop to market.At the time, a top gripe among Reg readers was the XPS 13's low screen resolution – and, given that most developers we know prefer extremely high-resolution monitors, if not multiple screens, the increased screen resolution on the new version of the Developer Edition might be just what's needed to win over more buyers.

According to Canonical, the new model is available for sale now in the US and Canada for $1,549, the same list price as the previous version.Canonical says the updated XPS 13 is "also available across Europe, parts of the Middle East and Africa," though it didn't offer direct purchase links for countries outside North America.Also, some international versions of the earlier Sputnik laptop showed up bearing slightly different specs than the American model, such as a lower-powered Core i5 processor. The announcement gave no word on whether that would continue to be the case, and Dell did not immediately respond to The Reg's request for clarification. Acer's boss expects the vendor's PC shipments to slump up to 15 per cent sequentially in the first quarter, but insists the firm has a "good chance" of scraping back to black this year.The prediction illustrates the massive challenges faced by Acer, given the massive year-on-year slump in shipments it showed for the fourth quarter.JT Wang told a media briefing that its business would bottom out in the January to March quarter, Focus Taiwan reported today. But the massive slip did not mean a profit for the year overall was not possible, Wang continued.

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The expected 10 to 15 per cent drop in shipments in the quarter was down to seasonal factors and the transition to new products, Focus Taiwan said.The site did not specify what those new products were. Perhaps the Acer chairman and CEO was referring to sizzling new PC and laptop designs, in which case the vendor would need something amazing up its sleeve, given consumers' current "whatever" attitude to traditional formats.Focus Taiwan also reported that corporate president Jim Wong predicted Acer would ship 5 million tablets this year, up on the 1.8 million it shipped last year.Wong reportedly said: "We have a full spectrum, including low-cost, mid-range and high-end products." This will include 8-inch and 10-inch tablets, flagged up last month but only set to appear around the middle of the year at the earliest.However, while Acer has previously grappled for the top spot in the PC market, its tablet ambitions represent a drop in the global ocean.

IDC reported last month that total worldwide tablet shipments were 52.5 million in the fourth quarter up 75.3 per cent on the year. Apple shipped 22.9 million of those units, Samsung accounted for 7.9 million and Amazon 6 million.By comparison, worldwide PC shipments were down 6.4 per cent to 89.8 million in the fourth quarter, with Acer taking 7.8 per cent of that, as its unit shipments tumbled 28.2 per cent year on year to 6.9 million units.Distro guide Linux, it is said, is all about choice. Indeed, the ability to choose, well, pretty much everything, is probably the best thing about Linux. But the huge variety from which you can choose - ranging from distro and desktop to window manager - can also be overwhelming for newcomers.If you've ever thought about abandoning Windows or Mac OS X for Linux, but stopped short because you weren't sure which variety of Linux to choose, this guide is for you.It would be impossible to filter through every single Linux distribution and attempt to find the definitive one for every situation. There are simply too many distros out there - DistroWatch, a site devoted to tracking such things, lists hundreds of distros you can choose from.

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daizybethea-blog · 6 years

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It’s time to give Firefox a fresh chance

Ever because it was first launched virtually a decade in the past, Google’s Chrome browser has been essentially the most constant piece of expertise in my life. I’ve gone by a legion of telephones, laptops, and headphones, I’ve jumped round between Android, iOS, Home windows Telephone, macOS, and Home windows, however I’ve not often had purpose to doubt my browser alternative. Issues have modified in latest occasions, nevertheless, and people modifications have been ample to make me rethink. After so a few years away, I’m returning to Firefox, in equal measure pushed by Chrome’s downsides as I’m pulled by Firefox’s newest upgrades. If a pal have been to ask me what the very best internet browser is, I’d reply “Chrome” in a heartbeat, so don’t mistake this as a screed in opposition to Google’s browser. I nonetheless see it as essentially the most fully-featured and trouble-free choice for exploring the online. It’s simply that typically there are causes to not use the best possible choice out there. Listed here are mine. Chrome has outgrown its competitors in a means that’s unhealthy The factor that woke me up to my over-reliance on Chrome was when Google carried out an advert blocker straight into the browser. I’d often be delighted to have advert blocking automated away, however the surrounding dialog about Google — an advert firm — having sway over which advertisements are and are usually not acceptable to current to customers satisfied me there was a downside. In accordance to NetMarketShare, Chrome is now utilized by 60 p.c of internet customers, each on cellular and desktop gadgets, and Firefox appears respectable with 12 p.c of desktops, however is nearly a rounding error with solely 0.6 p.c of cellular gadgets. Apple’s Safari and Microsoft’s Edge don’t look significantly better, though they’re the default choice on their respective OS platforms. Chrome has outgrown its competitors in a means that’s unhealthy. My colleague Tom Warren already detailed the deleterious results of Chrome’s outsize affect, with internet builders optimizing and coding particularly for Chrome (and Google encouraging the apply), with sad connotations of the crummy outdated days when Web Explorer was the dominant browser for the online. Chrome got here to liberate us from the shackles of IE, however like many revolutionary leaders, too a few years in energy have corrupted Chrome’s unique mission. Earlier than I settled on Firefox as my Escape from Chrometown different, I gave Safari a strong couple of months as my main browser. If I have been dedicated to utilizing solely iPhones, iPads, and Macs for the remainder of my tech life, I would nonetheless be on Safari. Its efficiency is nice on each iOS and macOS — although I’d be mendacity to you if I have been to say I might inform a distinction in pace between any of the trendy browsers — and it presents a alternative of advert blockers amongst a cheap choice of browser extensions. The choices are nowhere close to as assorted as Chrome’s extension library, however that’s a non-issue for me since I’ve by no means been depending on extensions within the first place. Right now’s Firefox is a very totally different beast from the reminiscence hog of a few years in the past However I’m scripting this in Firefox at this time for a quite simple purpose: cross-platform compatibility. I lately arrange a new Home windows laptop computer, and having to take care of a browser that doesn’t know me or my preferences was simply an train in frustration. Safari’s good, and I’m sure it’s adequate to supplant Chrome for Apple gadget customers, however for me it’s a non-starter. I want a browser that is aware of me as effectively on a Huawei smartphone or Lenovo ThinkPad because it understands me an on iPhone X. Like Chrome and Safari, Firefox has a built-in password supervisor that saves my logins and passwords as I browse, which I can then shield with a grasp password. One password, I can keep in mind. Dozens of bizarre alphanumerical concoctions? That’s the place I want the browser to step in and assist, and Firefox has been nice in that respect. With Safari, I had a couple of events the place the browser would both overlook a password or get confused about the place to reserve it when, for instance, I’m logging into multiple Google account. Firefox retains all these things straight and, as far as I can inform, safe. (Safety professionals will inform you that a devoted password supervisor is greatest, after all.) In pondering my browser change, I did the apparent factor and checked out benchmark comparisons among the many hottest browsers, whereas additionally studying up on real-world expertise with regard to battery life and different much less apparent impacts. That piqued my curiosity in Opera, which has a built-in VPN and, like Firefox, loads of privateness safety and anti-tracking choices. I just like the philosophy embodied by Opera, however I don’t like that the Android variations of its browsers serve advertisements on my lock display. After spending some high quality time evaluating the precise expertise of utilizing Chrome, Safari, and Firefox throughout a number of web sites, I’m assured in saying browser benchmarks are profoundly uninformative. The reality is that efficiency variations are usually not substantial sufficient to be seen. If something, you’re almost certainly to conflict with “solely works in Chrome” incompatibilities, however that’s form of the entire purpose for me to keep away from Chrome: somebody has to hold utilizing the options in order to give them a purpose to exist. Browsers lately are extra comparable than they’re totally different However I’m no martyr sacrificing himself for the widespread good right here. Firefox is a reputable, high-quality substitute for Chrome. Ever since its Quantum engine overhaul, Firefox has been garnering loads of reward from happy customers, and although I’m solely simply beginning to get into utilizing it full-time as my fundamental browser, all the pieces I’ve seen has been encouraging. Firefox has actually grown far past gradual reminiscence hog that I keep in mind from a few years in the past. The principle factor I’ve realized from migrating between a few browsers over the previous couple of months has been that the design and efficiency variations between them are smaller than ever earlier than. In case you’re like me and need to strip your browser down to a naked deal with bar and a couple of arrows, you are able to do that as simply with Chrome, Firefox, Opera, Safari, or any of the opposite options like Edge and Vivaldi. Your bookmarks can journey with you throughout working techniques and gadgets with most browsers. Keyboard shortcuts like Cmd/Ctrl + Shift + T to revive the last-closed browser window are approaching universality. Chrome and Firefox each have a “shut tabs to the correct [of this one]” choice. You may mute particular person tabs in each browsers. Ultimately, I’ll discover myself pressured to return to Chrome, maybe by some intelligent ecosystem integration Google provides or the most recent beautiful Chromebook (I actually suppose Chromebooks are underrated as primary getting-stuff-done computer systems). However till that time comes, I’m blissful to assist Firefox in its efforts to present a real and viable different to the browser juggernaut. https://www.theverge.com/2018/4/15/17239548/firefox-chrome-safari-competition https://www.news9ontime.com/its-time-to-give-firefox-a-fresh-chance/

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