#for context i used to work at a DV shelter

[murkyhazed-is-archiving]

when your bestie for life but also former co-worker tells you the former work tea and you just

[granulesofsand]

🗝️🏷️ RAMCOA intermixed with conspiracy theories

I forgot how out of pocket RAMCOA professionals(?) can be. Like, I agree we should believe people and support their healing the best we can, but this video I’m watching has more conspiracy theories from the admins than the survivors. There was one survivor who spoke about one big cult trying to normalize Luciferianism and pedophilia among other things, but they are also on the admin panel. One other survivor still hadn’t worked through the ‘specialness’ groups fed them and thought they had physical psychic powers, and even that was mild compared to the staff.

First admin to speak was the ‘global Satanic cult’ survivor, and they sincerely believe that vaccines are a lie and pandemics are made in labs. After them was a guy who was really insistent that weed and caffeine were common for mind control purposes, and that TV was made to normalize violence and put people into trace — which, he wasn’t entirely wrong, but also not too close to the bullseye there. Then one mostly normal guy who very gently asked whether the world was going to shit because of hundreds of coincidences or a plan, pretty open-ended and tolerable. Then the only guy with a degree listed seemed okay, and then started talking about abusers being soulless and COVID masking having no purpose but to remove loving emotion.

The intro to this video was a cringy song about saving the children, and the first speaker cited remote viewing as corroborating a facility in another state doing mind control (uncertainly, but he did say it).

Most of the survivor testimonies at least made sense, but half the video is over and it’s already been an hour and a half. I was hoping to add this to my list of resources for a new clinician we got through the DV shelter, but. I think not. Probably gonna go back to annotating Miller’s clinician book, cause it’s looking like that’s as good as it gets.

Yeah. We do believe governments participate in organized abuse and cooperate amongst themselves and local groups/people who can afford to get away with it, and we do understand that many products used and sold can aid in mind control, but that doesn’t mean that every piece of every story is true off the bat. Many drugs have a mostly normal history of getting onto the street, though many have ties to organizations in the present. Many trance-inducing mediums came to us naturally, though some are used (in a minority of contexts) for more nefarious purposes. They just don’t make the distinction, and the religious ideology bleeds into all of it even worse. We’re pretty open minded about sanctioned atrocities, but they go too far. And we were abused in a Satanic cult who killed children. Wild.

They just went on a whole tangent about saying COVID was overdone/a lie, and that both that and 9/11 were Satanic death rituals. Y’all. They did just get to how poverty and foster care was bad — nevermind they made it a Satanic thing again. They are taking all of these non-coincidences, but incorrectly attributing them to one big cult. Girl. The word ‘culture’ and ‘cult’ are alike because they are etymologically from the same Latin root. And they called transgenderism against humanity. It gets progressively worse. I’m listening in real time now and you can tell. Every mildly true take is followed by three more bullshit ideas.

It is an enemy of progress to assume that all issues are related by perpetrator. The events do intertwine, but we’re ignoring those intricacies and the true causes — and how to work with them as a result — to shove them under one cause we cannot prove. We will not find where they are tied if we have already decided it is this one specific way. It would be okay if it were true or at least undisputed, but much of what they talk about does not fit the research and existing examinations despite also not providing resources to support these theories. The strings laid out, I can see how they reached their conclusions, but I cannot get around the refusal to see other explanations. It weakens their argument so deeply it has nearly no integrity remaining. And they speak of rationality and sense as if they would know it if it came up and bit them.

The next segment is saying not to criticize them because it discourages conversation. I could be politer, good communication is important. This is the one guy who I would listen to again. I agree that we need to have more in-depth conversations to make heavy topics make sense. I am still not willing to tolerate faith tradition as science or accept any explanation without talking about it, but I would have a conversation with any of these people. I simply can’t listen to them speak conference style.

Why has it been so difficult to communicate? Because of you. Because you provide no sources except half-inaccurate non-academic works. Because you use every other sentence to attack another construct that is largely helpful. Because you don’t want to talk, you just want to say it. And the Christians are taking about their savior complex again.

Mmm, judges wear robes because global Satanic cult. All government is in on out. Again, some people are. There are symbols of faith traditions in government that don’t need to be there. Many stand-out details become easy places to meet or reinterpret for victims if they weren’t already made for dangerous purposes. There are many generational and governmental genuine conspiracies that do occur, people who do collaborate. Still infrequently that structured or globally involved. It’s a funky mix of things that can and do happen and calling it all one giant Satanic operation. Too many big claims with no backup.

These speakers talk about empowerment and shaking free, yet they use mind control tactics themselves. Tell us what to consume and how, from information to literal food. He called the TV a hypnobox. This is not safe. Educate people about why, host conversations about what they can do, but issuing commands and layering it with fear is half of what they are saying is Satanic.

We should be healthy. We should be watching out for dog whistles and nonsensical political decisions, but not every music video is a ritual and not every painting is a message. Talk to people with different opinions, see if your community’s ideas hold up against theirs. It’s not all wrong, but very little is right.

And they’re forcing spirituality again. Gross. We can believe in morals and kindness without having to share a faith tradition. And here comes Global Satanic Cult as the true enemy, describing introspection as soul. Icky icky. “Pedophile transgender agenda”. We’re not right wing conspiracy theorists tho. Created unnatural weather events. Use a source, any source, y’all are dropping these left and right. Psychopaths as any person we don’t like.

Re-educating children to keep them from doing away with gender norms. The guy talking about this one is preaching kindness while telling us we are evil for not being traditionally male or female, or, worse, transgender✨.

So basically Satanic global cult and gender roles. That’s what this was about. They spoke next to nothing about education or what to do to help survivors. Just fearmongering and ignorance.and a shitty ending song. I feel like those 2 hours were stolen. It was all just poking at wounds. Disgusting. I won’t be linking this video, I find it would cause more harm than good. We don’t need their shit, we’re doing better on our own. Good riddance.

[autolenaphilia]

Misandry is not real: Part 4 (i think, whatever)

The analysis on the transunity blog is absolutely nonsensical. And them unironically believing in misandry is a major part of it. Well I have to give them props for being honest and outright saying the word "misandry". Other misandry truthers like genderkoolaid use cutesy neologisms like "anti-masculism". This text is still awful though, and very mealy-mouthed and confused about what it actually claims.

The reason transunity using the word "misandry" is remarkable is because the term originated among the antifeminist men's rights movement which denied patriarchy was real and argued instead men were systematically oppressed by society, which they called misandry.

Of course transunity is trying to spread this term among progressive tumblr folks, so they soften the term. they only describe "the experiences of men affected by a disdain for, or hatred of men." Of course this is how the blog and much of tumblr understands oppression in general, as individual acts of aggression. There is no systemic understanding of oppression, how it creates an underclass out of an marginalized group of people. So this softening of the term actually places misandry on an equal plane with actual oppression.

The posts add the caveat that "In cis society, misandry isn’t systemic." Yet this caveat is dubious in itself, as it reveals a weak understanding of systemic oppression. And it of course starts to be undermined in the following sentences.

"But it is common nonetheless. Misandry becomes more damaging if someone is marginalised alongside being a man." I'm tempted to add that everything before the but is a lie. The article starts treating "misandry" as if it's some intersecting oppression alongside other oppressions. One that apparently even non-marginalised men can experience, by implication.

The two examples the post gives are "the defecit (sic) in mental health support or DV shelters for men." The lack of mental health care being a male specific problem is laughable. They may have a point about domestic violence shelters for men, but that's a very old MRA/anti-feminist talking point.. The MRAs never build them and instead starts relativizing domestic violence by arguing the violence shows a "gender symmetry".

And while the article claims it's not systemic in "cis society", it's apparently part of transphobia. It's one of the three tools of transphobia, so it's apparently an integral part. "when misandry is mentioned on this blog it has a strong trans context attached to it. Applying this to cis dynamics doesn’t work" the writer agues.

Yet this relies on a separation between cis society and trans people that doesn't make sense at all. We trans people live in a cis-dominated and cisnormative society, that's the problem. Trans people might make trans subcultures, "trans contexts", but those are always trapped in cis dynamics. That's why transphobia exists, and it's systemic. So no, you can't claim misandry isn't systemic in cis society and yet claim it's an integral part of the systemic oppression of transphobia, it's a contradictionary position. Any analysis of transphobia can't be separated from cis society. Either transphobia isn't systemic (which it obviously is) or misandry isn't, which is also obviously true.

Now men can be oppressed, but it's never for being men. Men can be affected by racism, ableism, class, homophobia and transphobia and so on. But it isn't made worse by them being men (in fact being male is a privilege), which any comparison between men and women prove. It can often take different forms from the same oppression aimed at women, but that's the absence of misogyny, not the presence of any mythical misandry. (as another person's tumblr post more or less put it but which i can't find now because tumblr's search system is garbage).

Of course, what really got me going here is the vile suggestion that the rote cause of transfem's oppression is misandry, which this article engages in. "For trans women, terfs may apply misandry in a way which misgenders them and uses trans women’s agab against them." Actually fuck you, this is transmisogyny. Calling trans women men is textbook transmisogyny, not misandry. It's the most shallow form of analysis, to go "that terf called a trans woman a man, that means this is actually misandry, i'm so smart." It's looking at the rhetoric transmisogynists uses, and not analyzing the underlying systemic causes.

"midandry (sic) is based on how the transphobes perceive trans people. Not how the trans people actually identify." Actually you are just perpetuating that misgendering, fuck you.

In reality, transmisogyny is a systemic oppression that makes transfems into an underclass, an oppression that men benefit from. For the misandry analysis of our oppression to make sense, it would mean men are part of that underclasss, which they aren't. Misgendering us as men is part of transmisogyny, but our oppression is far broader than misgendering rhetoric.

Sure they call us "men", but it's just hurtful rhetoric. If they actually treated us as men, our position would be a lot different. They may talk about transfems being violent and male, but it's not rooted in any kind of hatred towards men and their violence. In fact it's to justify male violence towards us. In terf rhetoric a trans woman using a woman's bathroom is "male violence", a male cop using violence against her is not.

Transunity says that misandry is "punishment for proximity to masculinity." And tries to understand transmisogyny through that lens. But in fact, transmisogyny is if anything the opposite. Being transfem usually entails rejecting manhood and/or masculinity and embracing womanhood and/or femininity. This is not universal, butch women may not reject masculinity and embrace femininity, NB transfems may not embrace womanhood. But this is how transfemininity is seen.

And in a society that hates women and what's associated with them, that's the ultimate sin. Trans women being assigned male at birth and rejecting in favour of being women challenges the misogyny of patriarchal ideology.

Calling transfems men is a form of violently reassigning us to the gender we have rejected. It's that rejection of maleness that inspires the misgendering, the repeated insistence on a supposed objective reality of our maleness. It's punishment for rejecting masculinity and maleness, rather than the opposite.

The stated purpose of the transunity blog is to promote as the name implies, unity among trans people. A noble-sounding goal. The problem is that it's terrible at doing that. You are not going to get many trans women in your unity movement by trying to rehabilitate anti-feminist concept of misandry. And you are not going to do that by misgendering transfems by taking transmisogynist rhetoric at face value, and attributing to misandry what is actually transmisogyny.

[transunity]

The Three Tools of Transphobia II- Misandry

This is the second post in this series exploring the three main tools of transphobia. The first post I will link after posting this one.

Misandry usually describes the experiences of men affected by a disdain for, or hatred of men. In cis society, misandry isn't systemic. But it is common nonetheless. Misandry becomes more damaging if someone is marginalised alongside being a man. Examples may include implying that maleness or masculinity is inherently harmful, or denying men access to comfort and safety on the basis of them being men (e.g. the defecit in mental health support or DV shelters for men).

But in a trans context, misandry takes on a different meaning to how it is used in cis society. If you have the cis definition in your head right now, throw it away. It does not apply here.

For trans people, misandry is a tool used against all kinds of trans people as a punishment for proximity to masculinity. Misogyny and misandrogyny are also tools used to control trans expression and existence. Specifically, misandry fuels a lot of terf hatred of trans people- but for each kind of trans person the reason for this differs. For trans women, terfs may apply misandry in a way which misgenders them and uses trans women's agab against them. Their fear mongering about 'male violence' usually revolves around misgendeing trans women in horrible ways and suggesting trans women's agab is enough reason to blame them for the wrongdoings of cis men.

For trans men, their transitions towards manhood instead of away from it causes an altogether different tactic of misandry from terfs. If a trans man is transitioning, terfs may fear monger that trans men are going to become vile abusers by taking T and that they betray women.

For nonbinary people it is varied. Terfs may either target amab nonbinary people the same way they target trans women, or they may target afab nonbinary people the same way they target trans men. But- this is not fixed. They may switch it up and apply blanket misandric rhetoric to all nonbinary people.

As with misogyny and misandrogyny, midandry is based on how the transphobes perceive trans people. Not how the trans people actually identify.

Of course, I can't list every example of how misandry gets applied to trans people as this post is general.

Remember - when misandry is mentioned on this blog it has a strong trans context attached to it. Applying this to cis dynamics doesn't work, just as applying cis dynamics to trans people doesn't work.

Thoughts welcome

[kelly-danger]

….. Im totally new to looking at your blog so may lack context for reference. I saw your tags about “vacillating between radfem shit and gay degeneracy” and my feedback there is…. Gay isn’t degenerate. If you mean like being a fujo (being female but being extremely into m/m ships) I mean that can become a problem when done homophobic way (such as calling gay degenerate for fun) or if harassing people, but it’s not reallllly “incompatible” with radical feminism to be invested emotionally in m/m stories or to be sexually into them. Not anymore than a radfem liking regency novels or some Disney princess movie like… it just doesn’t really matter. Does she get involved in dv shelter work? Is she engaged in feminist mutual aid, period activism, reproductive rights, dismantling male supremacist and gender constructs with herself and those around her, involved with or supportive of women’s festivals, separatist groups, sports, shelters, and so on. That is more the key thing. And even without being engaged with that my point is still it’s more about how you relate to the gay shipping stuff than whether you do it or not. Basic boundaries between that activity and, say, not claiming connecting to it makes you a gay man in your heart or whatever and not engaging in that “sin babies” “gay degeneracy” cutesy pseudoironic homophobia and sure it’s maybe not the most radfem thing in the world but it’s fine.

Thanks I appreciate this. I think these are all good points. Im male to female though and post a lot of stuff about lesbianism. So maybe im self consious about offending radfems on here who I think are cool and who id like to talk to more. Butbyeah Idk if id say im really a lesbian though, ive mostly been with bisexual women and in a way that isnt really a spiritual companion to lesbianism in the ways that I maybe hoped for when I entered transition. Im also definitely bisexual, except men are weird and gross. Basically im confused, but yeah i think a radfem looking in probably would think of my fascination with lesbianism as degeneracy. Im not sure yet whether I do or do not beleive that myself, I lean towards no most days but idk. But youre right I should use more careful wording and also probably be less insecure

[genderisareligion]

part of the reason i’m recommending just straight up getting a lawyer who mostly works with DV victims is because they may also be able to either handle themselves or direct you to resources for police violence

Thank you for this and your other ask 🖤 (Context, also this ft. my ex going full Johnny Depp and lying out of her ass to get a restraining order against me despite being arrested for felony DV against me)

I ended up having to show up to court on 9/6 and I'm without a vehicle at the moment which makes it hard to get back out there, just to be told that I do in fact get a public defender for this "quasi criminal" civil case, on 9/11 in the major city "near us" despite having to wait a month in between dates last time. Annoying because after being arrested on some bullshit by the officer I recorded and thrown in solitary confinement with no explanation, I fled 3-4 hours away "back home" and away from the place I'd never even heard of when I met her.

This might be the last court date but she's doing everything she can to play the victim and make it look like "mutual abuse" (I was bleeding and you weren't and there's no way in hell I could've gotten away with "pulling out an entire loc of your hair" without you immediately telling the police that information, it's not in the report, dumbass), so it could get worse, and though they still haven't assigned the defender to me so I'm assuming we'll just talk right before my case, I'm relieved as fuck that me and my autism don't have to defend myself and present my giant stack of evidence alone. Been way too stressed to do it properly whatsoever

If I end up needing another lawyer I will try to find DV ones directly, but it would have to be 100% pro bono because I haven't been able to work lately. Last week I was seriously considering going back to a DV shelter because now that I'm in a different county, the DA's victim services is saying that because I'm technically still fleeing, I can just redo my shelter stay around here since the one I was in completely dropped the ball, the therapist I was supposed to be seeing avoided me like the plague. Unfortunately every place I tried was full.

[featherburnt]

I think what I like most about my ship is that while Hellhound starts out as pissy and suspicious, he and Hawks actually have a lot in common - right down to how they think society should change. Hawks wants a world where heroes aren't necessary (simplification), and to do that, there needs to be a focus on treating villains like people instead of cartoonish caricatures - and he does, using their names, offering a second chance, etc. Hellhound wants a world in which people aren't senselessly murdered, therefore a world heroes aren't necessary, and to do that, once he gains control over the agency in Nagasaki post-Nogitsune's death, he leans heavily into community outreach, food drives, open door policies, donations to DV shelters, etc etc. I think the main difference between them is Hellhound isn't actively thinking about it when he does it; It's so natural for him, he doesn't need to.

They're both self-sacrificing workaholics. They both generally wear a 'mask' around people depending on the context. They both like chicken, I mean cmon.... They both don't really think of themselves as the sort of heroes anyone can find comfort in/look up to. They both come from terribly abusive, broken homes. They both became heroes to help people (as their motivation). They're both, in turn, shackled by their work in the same and different ways alike. They both get a little grumpy with their sidekicks. They both work for the HPSC. They both take their work seriously. They both wear gloves. They're both pretty goddamn fast--

[nationaldvam]

Friday, March 01, 2019                  

by Breckan Erdman, NRCDV Program Specialist

When I was in college, I co-facilitated a weekly creative writing workshop at a local domestic violence shelter. “Writing workshop” was a loose term for our group, which gathered informally each week with residents who were available and interested to read and write poetry, play word games, talk about art, and listen to music. No one was required to attend; residents came because they wanted to. In a domestic violence program where the rest of the day was often highly structured and centered around managing crises, our weekly gatherings created a space for flexibility, creativity, and self-care.

Although some folks in the group knew themselves to be great poets and artists, many of us did not. Our gatherings were more about taking time to connect and create than about writing a perfect poem or short story. We often abandoned our set agendas to make space for storytelling. As we worked together to find meaning in poetry and shared our vulnerabilities when reading our own writings aloud, we built community.

Even if we don’t consider ourselves to be particularly “artistic,” most of us like to create in one way or another, whether this means writing poetry, performing in an improv group, gardening, or cooking food that brings us comfort. Because using the arts for self-expression can be incredibly empowering and can promote healing for survivors, making space to create and play can serve an important role in domestic violence organizations.

Art for Healing

“I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn’t say any other way – things I had no words for.” – Georgia O’Keefe

Different creative outlets, from music therapy to body art are known to promote healing for survivors of trauma. This can take a more structured form, such as art therapy, which is when a licensed mental health professional works with clients to “use art media, the creative process, and the resulting artwork to explore their feelings, reconcile emotional conflicts, foster self-awareness, manage behavior and addictions, develop social skills, improve reality orientation, reduce anxiety, and increase self-esteem” (American Art Therapy Association). Because it has the flexibility to “be molded and designed around each and every individual patient and issue, addressing not only the physical and mental aspects, but reaching deeper into the emotional and spiritual,” art therapy is particularly helpful for survivors of trauma. Researcher Sarah Riley writes that art therapy can be “an effective tool for expression, personal growth, and recovery from traumatic events and emotional weight” (Positive Effects of Art Therapy for Women and Children from Backgrounds of Domestic Violence).

Even outside of the context of formal art therapy, it is easy to see the emotional benefits of engaging in expressive arts: working through frustrations while kneading clay, attaching words to lived experiences through poetry, navigating the world with someone else’s eyes through drama. And because art is inextricably intertwined with culture and identity, engaging in culturally significant forms of art can be an especially meaningful way for survivors to process and heal. Making space for creative expression can be an important part of providing empowering, culturally relevant services to survivors. INCITE! writes that art “helps us manifest our power and our vision into something real; it inspires and connects us to each other… Through culture we bring our vision alive, reclaim our histories and identities, and draw on the strength of our ancestors.”

“For women, then, poetry is not a luxury. It is a vital necessity for our existence. It forms the quality of light from which we predicate our hopes and dreams toward survival and change, first into language, then into idea, then into more tangible action.” – Audre Lorde

And because it can help us to process feelings, express ourselves, and heal, creating art can be an empowering tool for self-care for advocates as we work to mitigate the effects of exposure to vicarious trauma and promote resilience in our work and personal lives. Even if you don’t consider yourself to be particularly artistic, doodling, journaling about your feelings, or simply manipulating a piece of clay with your hands can help you to soothe and center yourself. Or if you prefer more structure, you could engage in art therapy activities, such as assembling a motivational collage or creating a mind map, to help you process emotions, relax, and examine your sense of self.

Keep in mind that, although it’s wonderful to be able to create a breathtaking painting or to write a song that resonates with people, this is more about the process than the final product. The most important thing is to make space for self-expression, reflection and healing. Some ideas for incorporating the arts into domestic violence programs include:

Add paint, clay, and other art supplies to your organization’s donation needs list. Keep these supplies in a place that is accessible for people to use when they feel inspired.

Is there a blank wall in your building? Invite advocates and survivors in your organization to work together to create a mural.

Offer incoming survivors a notebook and pen. This was a critical component of our weekly writing workshops – we tried to always have extra notebooks and pens available to give away, so that anyone interested in writing on their own time throughout the week had the supplies they needed.

Gardening can be a great way to get in touch with nature and to create something beautiful at the same time, and has been shown to promote psychological and social well-being. Work with survivors in your program to start a garden or reach out to a local community garden.

Reach out to your local community theatre or dance studio about opportunities to collaborate.

If possible, connect with an art therapist in your area so you know who you can refer survivors to for art therapy.

Ask the survivors and advocates in your organization what they like to do to express themselves creatively and try to find a way to build programming that is responsive to their artistic interests!

“I feel the gardening program has made my children become more gentle with plants and flowers, also they have learned all things grow with care and love.” – Survivor, Project GROW

For more information on the connections between, art, culture, and healing, as well as resources for service providers and a gallery of survivor artwork, visit Arte Sana’s website. Arte Sana is a national Latina-led nonprofit committed to ending sexual violence and other forms of gender-based aggressions and engage marginalized communities as agents of change through bilingual professional training, community education, and the arts.

Art for Social Change

“Political art is critical because it sparks critical reflection and consciousness for mass groups of peoples. It helps us manifest our power and our vision into something real.” – INCITE!

In addition to its capacity to help us process our feelings and heal from trauma, art has the power to bring people together and foster social change. Because of its intrinsic ability to connect with people’s emotions and bring visibility to the lived experiences of marginalized communities, the arts have played a key role in virtually every social justice movement throughout history, from the freedom songs of the Civil Rights movement to Vietnam protest posters to the riot grrrl zines of the 1990s. Within the movement to end gender-based violence, survivors and activists have used the arts to raise awareness and move people to action through Clothesline Projects, Silent Witness Displays, the Bandana Project, and more. In recent years, efforts to support marginalized survivors who have been unjustly criminalized, such as the Free Marissa and Free Bresha campaigns, have harnessed the power of visual and literary arts through poster making, zines, and poetry to educate and create change.

So how can your program use the arts to inspire social change? The Domestic Violence Awareness Project offers ideas for traditional Domestic Violence Awareness Month campaign events that incorporate visual arts, such as purple ribbon campaigns, silent witness displays and brides marches. You could also consider engaging with your community through a story circle, working with youth in your community to design educational posters, or even staging a local production of the Vagina Monologues to raise awareness about gender-based violence. These are just a starting point – the possibilities are truly endless!

For more information:

Arte Sana

Transformative Storytelling for Social Change

DO YOU: Building Youth Resilience Through Creative Expression

How can I incorporate experiential or alternative activities into summer programming with domestic violence survivors? by Patty Branco, NRCDV

Art for Action by the Northwest Network

Using Story Circles to Capture Local Community Responses to Gender-Based Violence by NRCDV

Artwork:

My Soul Has Survived (Andrea Wellnetz, Arte Sana)

Free Bresha protest art