#but that woman literally had like 5 pages dedicated to everything she did while in shelter

[murkyhazed-is-archiving]

when your bestie for life but also former co-worker tells you the former work tea and you just

[anotheronechicagobog]

Functional Dysfunction - Rheese - Chapter 5 - It Isn’t Salad

written by @anotheronechicagobog

warnings: swearing, mention of abortion, mention of attempting to force abortion, unplanned preganancy, Connor and Robin are still together, Jimmy is still an ass, but now so is Chilli

The next day everyone was acting weird around her. Manning and Maggie were now running away from her, Halstead couldn't meet her eyes, Choi pretended to take a phone call when they were alone in the doctor's lounge, and Doris was completely silent. That never happened. She gossiped about anything and everything, until now Sarah hadn't believed there was a force on earth powerful enough to shut her up. 

A distraction came in the form of a mass casualty structural collapse at a construction site. Injured workers flooded in, while Sarah and Choi were tasked with going to the scene and treating people in the field. It was Sarah's first time working like that. So far it had only been fully stocked EDs or ORs with copious amounts of staff ready to jump into action. Here there were limited supplies, limited staff, and unlimited chaos.

So far the building they were constructing was a small five-story apartment building, it didn't have any walls or floors, it was just metal beams and underlying structure. Half of the crossbeams had just... Come off, taking the workers that were on them, towards the concrete foundation, where other workers were. It was a grizzly, awful site. There were going to be so many casualties, no doubt about it. She reached her first patient, a woman no older than twenty, whose arm was being crushed by a beam near the shoulder. It was purple. She had to amputate.

Red tag, red tag, black tag, red tag, black tag, black tag, black tag, red tag, green tag, black tag, red tag.

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She hadn’t eaten in ten hours and there were two more action-packed hours left in her shift. While she was finally back in the hospital, she couldn’t help but feel like she was still at the disaster site. One wrong move, one wrong word, and tragedy would occur. Of course at Gaffney it would be social tragedy, but still, she felt like she was navigating a mine field. She’d been on her feet non-stop since her shift started and she was feeling more mentally drained than physically drained. The other interns looked at her the way she imagined vultures would, beady eyes looking at your dying soul, ready to devour your corpse. Except... She wasn’t dying. She was in perfect health, it was apparent that they thought her career was about to be drop-kicked into an active volcano. Boy were they in for a surprise.

“Dr. Reese, scrub up, I need you in the OR with me.” Chad Dovingly, the resident “legacy” intern, almost yelled at Dr. Abrams, but Sarah watched him stop himself. “Sam-”

“Do not call me by my first name, I don’t know how many times I have to tell you that. Call me ‘Dr. Abrams’ or don’t speak to me at all.”

“Right, right, my apologies. Dr. Abrams, are you sure that Dr. Reese is the right choice? I mean, I was literally born to be a surgeon, I was in the top ten at my med school, and Dr. Reese, well... Is this because she’s pregnant-”

“Stop. Talking. You may have been in the top ten of your class, but she was the first in hers. She has shown far more dedication and skill than any of you here, and I will not stand here while you not only accuse me of favouritism, but belittle your colleague and fellow intern because of a matter that is absolutely none of your business. The reason you aren’t scrubbing in as much is that you’re not good enough to yet, so if you want to scrub in more, prove to me that you’re worthy of it, because honestly so far Dr. Reese and Dr. Kim are the only ones who have done so.” He dismissed the other interns with only a head nod, leaving the two of them alone in the hallway. “Dr. Reese, the surgery is in two hours. Read up on the procedure and eat something, then meet me in OR four.” The confusion must have been displayed on her face so he sighed and pulled her to the side away from the other interns. “Dr. Manning cornered me earlier and informed me that you’ve been on your feet all day, and you’re going to be staying late. So eat something and then join me in the OR.”

“Oh, okay, I’ll see you in two hours then.”

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She had a sandwich in her bag, but she doubted that the cold cut meats would still taste good after all this time. She debated going to the cafeteria but at this time all that would be available was heavy fast food. “Sarah?”

“Hi Dr. Manning, don’t worry Dr. Abrams ordered me to eat something before I join him in the OR.”

“Good. I was actually coming to get you, we ordered pizza down in the ED and I was wondering if you wanted to join us?”

“Something tells me you’re not going to take ‘no’ for an answer.”

“A correct assumption, come on it should be here by now.”

They were almost at the doctor’s lounge when Sarah couldn’t ignore the need to ask anymore. “... You know, don’t you?”

“Yes. We all do. I’m sorry that we’ve been avoiding you all day, we just didn’t want to ruin the surprise.”

“What sur-”

“SURPRISE!” Sarah jumped out of her skin and then looked around the lounge. There was a shiny blue ‘congratulations’ banner along the back wall, streamers taped to the ceiling and a stack of pizza boxes on the table. “We want you to know that we’re here for you and that we’re happy for you. I know that you don’t have a lot of time, she needs to scrub up at OR four in... one hour and fifty-one minutes, but celebrate with us a little now, we just want to make sure that you feel supported.”

“And that you eat, no one needs you fainting in an OR.”

“Thank you, all of you, so much... I really appreciate this, I was pretty scared at first, I still am, but I’m confident in my decision.”

“Trust me, we know Sarah.” Puzzled, she looked around at her co-workers and found them all snickering in the direction of Connor and Robin. Connor blushed and lowered his head with anawkward smirk while Robin rolled her eyes. “Doris tried to talk smack and I can honestly say that I have never seen someone get verbally eviscerated so viciously. Showed all of us not to mess with Robin.” Everyone around her chuckled and seemed to unanimously agree with Maggie. “Thanks.”

“No problem, Sarah. Besides I think it was about time someone knocked her down a peg. I mean, I know that gossip is just a part of hospital life, but she just takes it to a whole other level.”

Maggie and Nat were the least tense around her since this whole thing started, Choi and Halstead just seemed relieved that there wasn’t anything wrong with her, April and Noah just seemed content to make her laugh as loud as possible, Robin made sassy quips about the two of them sticking together, and Connor just made sure she always had pizza on her plate. They exchanged a smile when he made sure that she was the first one to eat ‘I know that it’s not salad but it’s still pretty good’. Sarah couldn’t have been more delighted to see Connor moving more freely, lighter, with an enormous weight having been removed from his shoulders.

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The surgery... Did not go well, but it wasn’t anyone’s fault thankfully. Their patient had the largest tumor she’d ever seen in the centre of their brain and when Dr. Abrams removed it, it looked horrifying to be frank. There was literally a hole in this poor man’s brain which unfortunately resulted in brain damage. It was a serious risk from the beginning, so the patient and family had been informed numerous times in the days leading up to and of the surgery. Delivering that news had been assigned to Sarah and she was not looking forward to it. She left the recovery suite where the patient has just been examined after waking up and went to the waiting room where his husband was waiting along with his twin sister were after Dr. Abrams told them to wait while they examined him. “How is he?”

“He’s okay, right?”

“I am so sorry to tell you this, but he did sustain significant brain damage and it’s very likely that it’s permanent. There’s also a possibility that he could... Pass away due to the severity.” The second that the word ‘sorry’ was out of her mouth they both broke down in tears, holding onto each other for dear life. “You can see him, if you want, and I can explain a few things. Dr. Abrams will check on him again tomorrow at seven am, to give him more time to improve-”

“So, he could get better, my brother could recover.”

“I need to stress that while that is a vague possibility, it is incredibly unlikely, and I don’t want to get your hopes up. I’m so sorry.”

“... Can you take us to him? Or at least me? I totally understand if you can’t see him yet, he’s your twin, but... We- He’s the love of my life. I need to see him.” Sarah nodded and gestured for them to follow her, she wasn’t sure if his sister would at first, but she did, with a far-off, grave look in her eyes. Sarah tried not to think about it, after all, this poor woman was just told her twin brother suffered brain damage and would probably never be the same again, she was allowed to react however she needed to. Still... Sarah couldn’t help but feel like foreshadowing had taken physical form, like her patient’s sister knew more than she was saying. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sarah had forty minutes left in her shift when alarms started blaring. She knew before she even turned around who it was and what the outcome would be. Despite being in her usual ‘crap someone’s dying’ speed her ankles felt like lead, and her soul had stayed at the computer she was working on. Her mind was still there, still searching her head for the best course of action before conducting it, giving orders to nurses, telling someone to get his loved ones out of the room, and shouting for someone to page the on-call neurosurgeon... But it was no use. And from the way everyone was looking at each other that this was the outcome they expected. “Time of death, 21:37.” Her voice felt so out of place, the vibrations her thoat made were irritating. The late patient’s fiance and sister were in the doorway. He was sobbing so inconsolably, so loud, it made Sarah’s heart clench. She however, looked numb, like a part of her just died. She looked Srah dead in the eyes and Sarah’s heart broke all over again. She’d known. “I’m so sorry for your loss.”

“Thank you Dr. Reese... I know that you and Dr. Abrams did everything you could. Could- could we have a moment with my brother? To say... Goodbye?”

“Of course.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When she finally left the hospital she was in tatters. She wasn’t sure if it was the pregnancy hormones or if it was her patient’s death, but all that she really wanted to do was cry. No, she needed to cry. Sadness and despair was bubbling up inside of her and she just didn’t want to keep it inside her. But of course the universe had other plans. When she finally made it to her car the last two people she wanted to see were standing beside it and sitting on it. She sighed, on the verge of tears and not in any mood to deal with either of them. “Jimmy. Chilli.”

“We need to talk.”

“We don’t actually. We really, really don’t. You don’t want to be involved and that’s fine. When they’re born we’ll do a paternity test because that’s what’s required for you to sign away your rights, and then you’ll do just that, and then you’ll walk away. It’s okay.”

“No it’s not. I’m not okay with you having my baby.”

“And I’m not okay with it either, he’s my... Boyfriend and I don’t want another chick to have his child.”

“Okay, first of all, neither of you get a say and whether or not I have this child. My body, my decision, that’s it. Second, Chilli, you have absolutely no say here in anything. You are not the mother or the father and I’m not even sure if you guys are dating given your hesitation in calling Jimmy your ‘boyfriend’ and you have such a volatile on/off relationship, you get zero say in anything even remotely related to my baby.”

“HEY! DON’T TALK TO HER LIKE THAT-”

“Speak to me like an adult or don’t speak to me at all. You don’t get to yell at me, you don’t get to use that tone with me, it’s not okay.”

“I CAN SPEAK TO YOU HOWEVER I WANT! AND YOU ARE GETTING AN ABORTION EVEN IF I HAVE TO DRAG YOU THERE MYSELF!” In the next three seconds Sarah observed three things:

There were two of them and one of her

They were in a dimly lit, poorly monitored parking garage alone

They had to deal with violent people at their jobs more than she did and would likely overpower her

“The hell she is! She made her choice Borelli and you didn’t get a say in it!” Okay, so #2 was not true apparently, as Connor walked closer to them from the entrance. “This isn’t any of your business doc, so just go, okay?”

“You’re threatening my friend in a dark parking garage. Yes, it is my business. But it isn’t yours, you’ve said that you don’t want to be a dad, so you won’t be, and I don’t even know why Chilli is here, so you two need to get off of Sarah’s car and leave her alone.”

“No. We don’t have to listen to you. I’ll talk to her however I fucking want, I don’t have to move away from her car, and Chilli doesn’t have to get off it. Fuck. Off.”

“Connor, you worked a long shift, you shouldn’t have to stay for this, I’ll figure it out.”

“I appreciate the thought Sarah, but you worked a long day too and I’m seriously worried about your safety around them. Why don’t I just drive you home? It really isn’t a big deal.”

“If you’re sure.”

“I am-”

“HEY! DON’T TALK ABOUT US LIKE WE AREN’T HERE! AND THIS ISN’T ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS!”

“Oh, go suck an egg, Borelli. Lead the way, Connor.”

“Gladly.”

They’d managed to make it to his car before the, quite honestly delusional, couple(?) realized they were seriously leaving, and Connor was pulling away with them shouting expletives and trying to chase the car on foot. “Thanks Connor, I really appreciate this.”

“Anytime Sarah, seriously. I care about you, you’ve become someone I trust and I want you to be safe and happy. I’ll help to make that happen if you ever need it.” Maybe it was the hormones, the encounter with Jimmy and Chilli, or the day just catching up with her, but she just couldn’t keep the exhaustion and gratitude out of her voice. “Thank you.”

[feuilly-cakes]

New Moon - Review - 3*

The problem with first-person narration is that when the main character is in distress you can't have fun reading the book, because everything is coloured with that viewpoint. As a result, I was more annoyed by this than I needed to be, because of the way Bella changed and also Edward's actions. It did, however, do some cool things too, in the way of important messages and descriptions of poor mental health, and also what it's like to begin to recover from that. So this was less enjoyable than Twilight, but not less important to read. Spoilers beyond this point Bella starts off on a high note, with a new-ish job at the Newton's shop and a close relationship with Edward and Alice, who are both friendly or even besties with Charlie in Alice's case. She's living the dream, and then the birthday party happens, and it all goes downhill. Edward is acting strange and indifferent to Bella, Bella is freaking out about that because she's a smart cookie and thinks he's going to ask her to leave with him, and then suddenly she's dumped, depressed, and hallucinating Edward's voice. It's not a great time for Bella. This whole experience makes her change from a strong, funny, normal girl to a selfish, hypocritical girl with zero self esteem or self preservation. As character growth goes it's not nice but it is realistic and it needed to be that way to further the plot. Let me be clear: she is still all the Bella things of the first book, but it's hidden away behind the depression and desperation and the way she can't think rationally anymore. I want to talk about Edward now, because I now think he's trash and am firmly on #teamjacob for the first time in my life. Edward is so pitiful here that he literally dumps her on the trail to some woods like a moron and then runs away and never expects her to, I don't know, follow him? He didn't think she would be too hurt by him rejecting her either because "how could you let one word break your faith in me?" I don't know Edward, perhaps because it was you that said those words? Also that's very 'let's blame Bella for my actions' of you... but I digress. After he's back he even tells Bella he "was coming back anyway" and "it was only a matter of time." Sir, if you're going to abruptly dump your girlfriend of 6 months and not so much as check in on her, then at least have the willpower to stick to that, because if this were a normal story you'd have gotten punched in the face the minute you showed up. The only saving grace for his character in this book is when Bella uses logic on him to get him to see he has hope for his own soul after all, and he begins to really come around to changing her, so there may be hope for him after all. The Werewolves I'm not going to talk about Jacob much because nothing massive stood out to me, just know that I love him and he should've been with Bella. The way he let her know he was into her and then remained her friend without pushing unless she did something was lovely, and I truly believe that if Edward hadn't been come back it would've been a perfect sequel. I am already expecting that to change in Eclipse because of the thing that he's going to do. Anyway, I also love the pack and wish we got more time with them. They call each other "brothers" and I just wanted some found family goodness and got nothing. I also wish we had gotten more interactions between Bella and Emily, because Bella starts calling herself a "wolf girl" and hanging out with Emily but we don't see that and it's so frustrating. I need a whole book dedicated to what exactly she was doing when she was spending all of her time at La Push. The Vampires. The Volturi are finally named in the scene where Romeo and Juliet is used to foreshadow the whole book. They are also used to foreshadow the rest of the book. Later we discover that they are a family of 5, with 9 main guard members plus an unknown number that changes. This is the information I always wanted to know but never did. Aro has "clouded, milky" red eyes, and "papery" skin. It isn't clear if this is from age or something else, but it kind of creeped me out I'm not going to lie. He also goes on a little tangent about how it "pleases" him that Carlisle was successful in being a vegetarian. This could have been a lie, but remember that Edward is a mind reader and would have given some indication. I actually like him in this book, he's very friendly and as soon as he gets confirmation Bella will be changed he's content to leave them be, though is a bit wistful that they won't join him. Caius is the one who tells them they have a time limit. Onto the big differences from the film -The Romeo and Juliet scene takes place in Bella's living room instead of the English classroom. As does the second half of the Volturi explanation scene, the first half of which took place in the first book. -Bella knows something is going to happen with Edward before he takes her on the walk. -The motorbike scene in Port Angeles isn't a motorbike scene, it's a walking towards dangerous men then leaving scene. -Bella and Jacob go hiking together to find the meadow, and Bella finds it on her own after all that hiking practice. -The werewolf reveal scene where Bella smacks Paul doesn't happen. Bella and Jacob deliberately meet them somewhere, Bella doesn't smack anyone, and Paul loses it anyway. -Jacob gets a grounded Bella in further trouble by showing Charlie the motorbikes they rose together many times, not just once. Parts I actually liked, because it wasn't all bad. -Bella stands up to Edward about her truck stereo in the beginning. It was a good moment. -Bella says that the birthday incident wasn't Jasper's fault at all. -A funny moment: (when Sam Uley introduces himself less than a year after she met him on First Beach:) "There was nothing familiar about his name." (And yes, I checked and she definitely met him, age 19, never learned how to read...) - Chapter 6: Friends. The whole page where Jacob and Bella are giggling and tripping over themselves and each other had me beaming. Such a happy section. -"I wanted to be fierce and deadly. Someone no one would dare mess with. Someone who would scare Sam Uley silly. I wanted to be a vampire." -There's a part during the voting scene where Edward grabs Bella by the face and she's talking to Carlisle and hoping he will understand because it was hard to talk properly the way Edward was holding her face. The mental image I got... he was squeezing her cheeks to the point she was doing fish lips and it nearly had me in tears. -Also with the voting scene, Rosalie votes against Bella, but she has no aversion to being her sister, only a vampire. Bella then tells everyone she feels the same about them as they do as her, which hurts Rosalie, and Bella realises that could be taken the wrong way. She didn't mean it in a bad way and the fact that Rosalie got hurt shows how their relationship is already developing from the first book. I found this part interesting and lovely to see, as I used to see it as a very abrupt friendship in book 4. There was no outright offensive language in this book, however there were several instances of questionable and uncomfortable behaviour, so I'll be listing them below. -When telling her about the birthday arrangements Edward and Alice don't listen to her protests, and pretty much force her into going to a party she doesn't want. It's creepily reminiscent of the prom incident, only with much worse results. -The Port Angeles post-cinema scene. Bella endangers her own and Jessica's life just to hear a hallucination of Edward. She then decided they were "probably nice guys. Safe." and just walked away, after realising they weren't the same men who wanted to r*pe her in book 1. She then thinks that Jessica is upset because she "must have really offended her" and not because she risked her life and well-being on a whim. The whole mindset Bella is in here is obviously not a healthy one, and I think we as readers are supposed to understand that and empathise with Jessica, but I can't be sure, and either way it's really bad and reckless behaviour. -Bella describes Leah as "exotic" which is not only weird but incorrect. Leah is native american and therefore the opposite of exotic. Leah isn't an animal, she isn't unusual or from far away, she's a person living in the place she was born, and it's beyond weird to call a person 'exotic'. -Jacob is back at it with the weird hatred of his own tribe. Pre-werewolf anyway. Before I get into it, I'd like to remind you that Jacob is not a real Native American because he was written by a WHITE woman, and therefore anything he says is a reflection of Stephenie Meyer and not of an actual Native American person. Now that's out of the way, Jacob is telling Bella about Sam Uley's behaviour, and while doing so he says this: "They're all about our land, and tribe pride... it's getting ridiculous." In the context of the book only, he's talking about how Sam's pack (though he doesn't know it's a pack yet) have become "protectors" and he thinks it's weird. In the context of who the author is, however, it's a bit more complicated. This line makes it seems like Stephenie Meyer may believe having lots of pride in your tribe as a native american person is ridiculous, and it skirts a dangerous territory. Remember she is a white woman and who clearly hasn't done research into why native american people are protective of what little land they have left and what culture hasn't been taken from them through genocide. This is your reminder to seek out native american voices, and especially Quileute voices in this circumstance, and learn their opinions and views on these matters. -Quileute is described as "an unfamiliar, liquid language." I couldn't find any video or audio of this language except the alphabet, and so I very much doubt Stephenie Meyer found something 14 years ago. It's my opinion that just like with the legends, she made this up and slapped the Quileute name on it for exploitative reasons. From what research I've done no young person would've known the language fluently anyway because it was dying before 2000 and is barely being kept alive. It wasn't hard to find this out, and as someone who was set to make millions off this book she should have done her research. -Bella's attitude regarding Gianna. She's horrified by her desire to become one of the Volturi, to be surrounded by vampires, and it doesn't seem to click that Bella herself has that same desire with the Cullens. She looks down on Gianna just because the vampires she desires are human drinkers and not animal drinkers, and it's clear she doesn't think of them as the same. All of the Cullens have killed humans or drank from them, so Bella is extremely hypocritical here. -"I mean, 'Fine, I'll move out.'" Bella holds this ultimatum over Charlie's head when he doesn't want her seeing Edward. She's being selfish and childish here, not caring that he's trying to look after her. When Edward left she was ruined, and Charlie is trying to stop that from happening again. Her actions in this scene are horrible and show how little she cares for Charlie, the man who looked after her while she was broken, who is her father. This is where we truly see how selfish Bella has become over the course of the book, or perhaps since being in a relationship with Edward, as in Twilight she would have never said this to Charlie. She may be an adult but she is sure acting like a child. -Finally, the vote. After it takes place, Bella demands Alice turn her immediately, and refuses to listen to reason when Alice tells her she can't just do it right away. She then turns to Carlisle, putting him right on the spot, and demands the same. He agrees but it's not right or proper behaviour, but unfortunately it's behaviour we come to expect from Bella by the end of the book. The switch from vote to demanding she be changed was jarring, and it really rubbed me the wrong way.

[godofplumsandthunder]

This was written for @the-ss-horniest-book-club​ Freaky Friday Drabble Friday! I barely made the deadline, but am super happy with this idea. Like the title suggests, it’s a body swap theme. So naturally I did a body swap with Bucky Barnes and Lance Tucker. I hope y’all like this as much as I did while writing this. Every page break represents a shift from Bucky to Lance or vice versa. 

James Buchanan Barnes, a.k.a Winter Soldier, Bucky, and Lance Tucker were household names. Everyone knew the assassin, best friend of Steve Rogers, Captain America. Everyone also knew Lance Tucker. Cocky, egotistic, gold medalist who is always seen with countless women. His life seems like a never-ending party.

Bucky Barnes knows who Lance Tucker is. He covets his entire life. For Bucky, Lance represents everything he's not. Bold, socially outgoing, loved, worshiped. Sure, Bucky knows that he has you his trustable girlfriend, but, wouldn't it be better, more fun, to be with hundreds of girls, instead of just one? Wouldn't his life be so much better if he had all of this?

Lance Tucker, who on the outside his life would appear to be wonderful, hates his life. Sure, he has fame, and countless women, and is always seen at a party, but what happens when the high wears off? The easy shag goes home? He's left alone. With no one, he can trust or love. Because Lance learned from a young age that when you are famous, people only get close to using you. Lance hates his life, but in his mind, it's too late to change it.

Both men, secretly wanting each other's lives. But realizing that their wishes will never come true. Or can they? Cause, after all, the universe might have its own agenda.

=======

Bucky feels different. He wakes up without remembering a nightmare. This should have been his first clue that something was wrong. He also wakes up and his left arm isn't hurting. It has not not hurt for over 70 years. This is sign number two. He rolls over a finds some young blonde laying in your spot of the bed. This is when he loses his shit.

"Who the fuck are you?" Bucky starts to go into full Winter Soldier mode, grabbing the baseball next to the side of the bed. Definitely not his bed, he notes.

"Really, we literally just fucked like 2 hours ago, and you can't even remember my name? The news was right about you. You really are a grade-A dick. No one wonder no one wants to be with you. Don't even bother with breakfast." The young blonde, who Bucky still doesn't know how she is, gathers her items, put her clothes on, and slams the front door shut behind her. Bucky needs a long shower, and a nice cup of coffee, if he wants any hope of making sense of what's happening.

=====

Lance wakes up with a body wrapped against him. Not in the "I just fucked the god of gymnastics" way. Rather in a way that radiated love. He looks down at you, and he can tell that you look different than the blonde he invited back home that night. At least Lance thought it was a blonde. He slips out of your arms, determined to figure out what the hell was going on. As he slipped out of your arms, you let out a little grunt, rolled and spooned his pillow. Not wanting to let the scent of him to fade. And this is what confuses Lance the most. Not once, in all of his conquest has a woman, or for that matter, a man reacted how you did when he left the bed. Like they were glued to his presence. Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, Lance finds the bathroom and looks into the mirror. That's when he noticed he was missing an arm.

"What the fuck happened to my arm?" Lance yell woke you up. It would have woken up the whole complex if it weren't for the noise proof walls, made to withhold the screams of a certain super-soldier. You come rushing over to see the love of your life confused. And this worries you. Bucky hasn't had a really bad day for a little while now.

"Bucky, are you okay?" You thought that maybe your voice and your presence would calm him down. But it didn't, it made him worse.

"Who the hell is Bucky?" This scared you. It's been a REALLY long time since Bucky's had problems with his memory. So you did the only thing you could have down in that situation.

"F.R.I.D.AY., initiate the 'Bucky's lost his marbles' protocol." Terrible name, Stark chose it, but it will get the job done. Gas started to fill the room where Lance was in. His vision started to blackout, and his body went limp.

======

When Bucky went to go take a shower, he was met with one hell of a surprise. Most people aren't ready to look into a mirror and be met with someone else's face. Even Bucky, the former fist of Hydra, who saw pretty much has seen everything, was surprised. Until he realized who's face was looking back at him. It was the one and only Lance Tucker. The world-renowned gold medal gymnast, playboy, and partier. Sure, Bucky should have been worried, but he saw this as his chance to finally have the life he has been coveting for the longest time. Y/N and the other avengers will figure out what happened and fix it promptly. But in the meantime, Bucky, or should he say Lance now, was going to have a fun time.

Bucky gets dressed in some tight and gaudy tracksuit. He grabs the keys to some overly priced car and drives his way to the closest open bar. He's really gonna have fun with this, Bucky thinks to himself.

=====

Lance wakes up with a pounding headache and handcuffed to a hospital bed. He searches the room and sees you, sitting dutifully in the chair next to the bed.

"Oh, good, you're awake Bucky. I have someone that's here to talk to you." She steps outside and brings in a grandpa, of all people.

"Hey, pal, do ya remember me?" Lance's confused face was answer enough to the elderly man. "I guessed you probably wouldn't. I look a little older than the last time you saw me. But it's me. Stevie. Steve Rogers. And you're Bucky, James Buchanan Barnes-" The old man continued to talk, but Lance drowned him out. He wasn't in his body. He wasn't Lance. He was Bucky Barnes. Reformed assassin, and new avenger. "And this is your girlfriend, Y/N." The old man manages to get Lance's attention again with that simple sentence. Lance should probably have been freaking out. But he's been wishing for a new life for the last few months, being sick of what his life consisted of. And it seems that the universe had answered his prayers. He'd deal with the consequences later. But for right now, he'd gladly accept your love and Bucky's life.

====

Bucky probably overdid himself on the alcohol. It was the first time in 7 decades that the alcohol was actually affecting his body. He's been bar-hopping for the last 5 hours or so. Getting absolutely wasted on any substance he can get his hands on. Bucky's currently trying to convince another skinny, fake, blonde to come home with him.

"Come on baby. Don't you want to know what's it like to bed the famous Lance Tucker? You know gymnastics isn't the only event I got a gold in?" It was a terrible pickup line. For most sane people, it wouldn't have worked. But for the blonde, the bragging rights were reason enough to sleep with Bucky, well Lance. So that's how Bucky found himself behind the wheel of his car, extremely intoxicated driving his way back to his bedroom to finally taste that blonde.

Finally, Bucky thought, he was living.

====

With Lance finally realizing what was going on, he was able to convince Steve and you that "Bucky" had his memories back. How he was able to fool Steve was beyond him, but it got him out of the hospital. You called into work saying you were sick so you would be able to watch after "Bucky". He looked fine in the hospital but you wanted to make sure he was really okay. So that's why you planned a Harry Potter and cuddles marathon.

Lance was watching Harry Potter, with you cuddled into his side. His right arm around your shoulders. Sure, this technically wasn't his girlfriend, but he liked this. This felt more comfortable than some cheap hook up from the bar. It felt domesticated in a good way. Halfway through the first movie, you look up to your boyfriend, which talk about dreamboat, and say, "I love you Bucky. I hope you always know that."

Lance, knowing in part that he had to keep up appearances said, "I love you too, Y/N". But even as he said it, as foreign it might have seemed, it truly felt right saying it.

=====

The body-swap continued on for another two weeks. And Lance was loving every single moment of it. He felt love, real love, for once in his life. It was nice knowing that he had friends and a girlfriend who was with him to be with him. Not to worry whether the people who surrounded Lance were with him because they wanted to or if they wanted something. Lance felt like he died and gone to heaven. And he wishes that this will never end.

Bucky, on the other hand, was living in hell. And after the high of newness and excitement of the newness of this situation wore off, Bucky realized that he's the loneliest he's been in quite a long time. He's soon realized that as soon as the buzz wore out, and the dame he picked up from the bar left, he was alone. And this hurts Bucky. He doesn't get to wake up to your beautiful smile in the morning or hear your heartwarming laugh. Hell, he's even missing the stupid memes that Sam would always send to him.

One night, after having one too many drinks, Bucky finally snaps. "God, or whoever is out there, please give me back my life. I've learned my lesson. My life was good. Please," Bucky sobbed himself to sleep, wishing that he was back in his own body and longing for your warm embrace, once more.

=====

The universe has its own plan. And often, it is a way for us to learn something. The next morning, Bucky and Lance woke up in their own bodies again. Bucky woke up with a new dedication to his girlfriend, who very soon will hopefully become his fiance, his friends, his teammates, and even his own body. He recommitted himself to being present and realizing every single blessing in his life.

Lance, on the other hand, woke up with a dedication to change his life around. He would work hard for it because he learned that drinking his way through life was no way to live. He would work hard so that he could have a wife, and a family to come home to after a hard day at work. And, thankfully, Lance would have that one day.

The universe has its own plan. We might not know where we fit in it, but every single one of us is where we are for a reason. Some, like Bucky, need to be reminded of that every so often. Others, like Lance, need to find their own place. The place of true happiness will always be shown if we are willing to look and work hard for it.

[thesuitelifeofjughead]

Riverdale Rewatch Review - Season One

Hey guys! So, as everyone knows, there’s like, this big thing happening in the world right now causing everyone to have to stay inside and a lot of people have way more free time on their hands than they know what to do with. I am one of those people. After I finish my schoolwork I find that barely even half a day has passed. What do I fill that time with? Animal Crossing. But also, watching Netflix. 

I’ve wanted to rewatch Riverdale for the longest time, and I figure that now is the best time to do it. 

So, the way this will work, I’ll give my overall thoughts and review of the season, my favorite episodes, and then I’m going to give you a play-by-play of my thoughts while rewatching each episode under the break. So, without further ado:

Overall Review

Looking at the bigger picture of everything I know Riverdale has come to be, I think the statement stands true that Season One is one of their strongest season, if not their actual strongest (Season Four has been climbing up there for me in fav seasons). 

Watching it all together, the drama seemed evenly paced, and everyone seemed to get the same amount of screen time, including characters we barely see anymore like Kevin and Reggie. There are some interesting shots, and I found myself jammin to some of the songs they had the characters sing as well as the background music. 

It was clear that they had a plan, and they knew where they were going. Hints of relationships happened WAY before they became official, and it seemed like everyone was on the same page, which is difficult to say for later seasons (which I will also be making reviews on shortly). 

For only having 13 episodes, Riverdale did an excellent job in it’s first season hooking everyone in to the drama and the mystery, including me. I believe it was after the second or third episode when this blog was created, and I’ve been here ever since. This season is responsible for why a lot of fans stuck around, and for why a lot of fans left. 

Overall, I would say it had amazing storytelling, character development, cinematic techniques, and everything else you could think of. My final rating would be a 10/10. Even if you don’t like later seasons, you can’t deny this one was really good, and had a lot of classic Riverdale moments -insert gif of Jughead saying “I’m a weirdo” here bc I tried to find it but couldn’t-. 

My personal favorite episodes: Episode 6, Episode 10, Episode 13

Rewatch Thoughts

Episode 1: 

It’s so clear right from the start that Veronica likes Archie oh my god

I love Betty Cooper dance parties and I want more of them

Wow I hate Alice from the very beginning

Fred Andrews was the best parent on Riverdale from the very beginning. Period.

Maybe the show is more consistent than I thought. Archie was dumb since season one episode one for lying to his dad. 

Veronica was so supportive of Betty and Archie we stan a supportive friend

Oh my god did we all collectively forget that Archie dated a freaking TEACHER?!

JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS MY HEART I love and miss them 

Jughead was such a broody lil boy wasn’t he oh my gosh Betty really did change him for the better didn’t she

“Whatever happened with Betty, just talk to her. It’ll go a long way” We stan a king who wants open communication from the beginning yas Jughead

Episode Rating: 8/10

Episode 2: 

God, the teacher is so manipulative

Oh god i’m gonna have to relive the dark Betty arc aren’t I

This rewatch is just gonna further my love for Jughead. He was the smartest one since day one

WAIT i completely forgot they changed Reggie’s actor oh my goodness

Episode Rating: 5/10

Episode 3: 

there was a mention of Greendale in the VERY FIRST SEASON 

The only good thing Penelope Blossom ever did was punch Alice Cooper and that’s that on that

I love the early journalism relationship between Betty and Jughead

Episode Rating: 7/10

Episode 4:

Ya’ll I miss jughead narrating at the beginning and end of every episode

THE TWILIGHT DRIVE IN. I MADE SO MANY FANFICTIONS SET THERE AWH

Jug was so upset over the drive in my HEART. Jughead had a JOB. Am I the only one who forgot that? 

He called her Betts and she called him Juggy their already in a relationship let’s face it. 

“It’s like my home” AWH JUG IT WAS HIS HOME MY HEART

Ya’ll remember how INSANE the reveal of Jughead’s dad was?

Episode Rating: 10/10

Episode 5:

Why would he have to run away from mommy and daddy? BECAUSE DADDY DID IT JUG YOURE SO SMART

Everyone was so SHADY in season one 

THE FREAKING SNAKE IN THE BOX

This was the episode with Jughead’s stupid cute smile in his stupid cute hat and stupid cute tux my heart

Remember when Fred and Hermione had that thing? Yeah me neither I hate it

Episode Rating: 8/10

Episode 6:

Wow makes sense that Polly joined a cult, she’s so fragile from everything that’s happened to her 

I love the early music in this show

Betty straight up asks Hal if he killed Jason Blossom. OMG Alice goes “You think he has the stomach or that?” UHM hate to break it to ya but your dad is,,, oof

ITS THE HEY JULIET EPISODE AWH

WAIT THAT MEANS

The little “also” and his voice cracks I’m

FIRST BUGHEAD KISS FIRST BUGHEAD KISS

“In the middle of our moment” ICONIC

Episode Rating: 10/10

Episode 7:

the episode in which we find out Jughead is living in the school

“Don’t tell Betty” they’re already so in love I swear

Jughead walking Betty home is literally the softest thing

The farm was a part of the plot from SEASON ONE oh my god

Episode Rating: 7/10

Episode 8:

I’m p sure this is just a filler episode

Oh wait it’s the reveal to Archie and Fred that FP is a serpent

WAIT ITS THE BABY SHOWER SCENE

“It’s totally on my bucket list” we don’t deserve Jughead

the LOOKS Archie got when he walked into that baby shower

Can you believe how normal it became to be a part of the serpents? And in the beginning it was such a big deal? Like Arch, hate to break it to you, you become an honorary serpent one day

Episode Rating: 7/10

Episode 9:

Riverdale season one really be hitting different. It’s so,, innocent lol, and that’s sayin something 

The Blossoms are a cult all their own I’m just sayin

“That was a joke, you hobo” ICONIC

Otherwise known as the episode where Alice throws a rock at a window

The parents really do be acting like teenagers tho

ALSO known as the episode where Veronica rips of her pearls

YOOO remember when Cheryl kissed Archie? That was a moment

Episode Rating: 9/10

Episode 10:

oh my god this is the birthday episode isn’t it

OH NO

lmao Ronnie was Tik Tok dancing before it was cool huh

The movie part of the party was so pure awh

oh god the creepy birthday song

i hate it

I HATE ITTTT

Cheryl arrives to mess shit UP

We love that Bughead took this as a learning experience and Jughead has never had a birthday party since

“In CaSe YoU HaVeN’t NoTiCEd, I’m WeiRd. I’m A weiRDo. I DoN’t FiT iN aNd I DoN’t WaNnA FiT in. HAvE YoU eVeR SeeN mE WiThOuT ThiS HaT oN? THAT’S WEIRD.”

Jughead was so opposed to letting her in my heart

Just let her love you Jug

Dilton’s actor also changed and we just,, let it slide? oof my guys

THE PUNCH. he DEFENDS his WOMAN

the first sign of FP bein a good dad, telling Jughead not to run away from Betty. We stan a father who’s basically responsible for Bughead.

The reveal that Alice lived on the south side was also in this episode. 

THE FIRST TIME JUG TOOK OFF HIS BEANIE

their first heart to heart ya’ll I love them

This is the softest scene point blank period

When I said I hated it before? Yeah I lied I love this episode

The episode where Archie and Ronnie also officially got togther kinda?? Wow so much happened this episode

Episode Rating: 10/10

Episode 11:

Hail our fair RIVERDALLEEEE

YOOO you remember when FP literally was an accomplice to MURDER and then they let him become sheriff? Man, what a time

Ya’ll why did they hurt Jughead so much in the first season my heart

Yo THIS is why they have such good communication in later seasons

he’s being FRAMED

Episode Rating: 7/10

Episode 12:

oh my goodness the tollbooth scene 

OW

The second time his beanie is off

he looks so SAD ouch

He just stood there and TOOK Cheryl’s punches someone save my poor boy

THE REVEAL THAT THE BLOSSOMS AND COOPERS ARE RELATED AH

They watched the videooooo

Episode Rating: 9/10

Episode 13:

The camera work around this table is really interesting. It’s literally circling them at the lunch table. SPEAKING OF LUNCH TABLES, why haven’t we seen them eating lunch at school for like two seasons lol 

“I’m with Jughead now”

God Penelope Blossom is so melodramatic

Can i just say thank GOD Fred never sold Andrew’s Construction

Oh my god the locker scene. The way he cups her cheek and takes her away

Jughead going to South Side High without telling anyone I’m

Cheryl on the ice

Remember when KJ literally broke his arm bc of the dedication to this scene

BURN THE HOUSE TO THE GROUND

the I love you scene my hEART

His beanie is off and the way he says I love you I”M CRYING

Oh god this song

I made so many fanfictions about this freaking scene with the jacket I’m

We all thought it was so BAD to be a serpent and yet they all literally become one over the next two seasons I’m. the fandom had NO IDEA

“Juggy”

The looks they give each other I’m laughing

Cheryl starring into the FLAMES

OH MY GOD WAIT THIS CLIFFHANGER IS SO MUCH MORE SAD NOW NOOOOO. This didn’t age well I’m.

HE SHOOK HIS HEAD HE WAS PROTECTING ARCHIE

But also,, Black Hood Intro? Oof.

Episode Rating: 10/10

-

If you got this far, thank you for reading my rambles! Season Two rewatch is up next!

[benjaminjofaiho]

The Captain Next Door Ch.1

Summary: You’re a doctor who also just so happens to be a fan fiction writer. You love lots of fandoms but Captain America is by far your fave, so what happens when you get a new job, move to Brooklyn and realize that the brownstone you bought is right next door to Captain America? Obviously shenanigans ensue.

Warnings: cursing, smutt (eventually)

Authors note: Ok guys, this is literally my first fanfic and it’s about the Cap. Please be gentle! Also guys I really do live for a slow burn so that will be present heavy, I hope you can stick with it. Let me know what you think and please, reblog, like and comment! Love y'all! P.S. I do not currently have a beta and the ‘f’ and ‘u’ keys on my keyboard are messed up so incase you see repeating letters anywhere they aren’t supposed to be feel free to let me know.

   You wiped the sweat forming on your head from the sweltering Brooklyn heat. You were from Texas but this was definitely more than you were used to, or expected from everything you’ve seen on TV about New York. You sat on the stoop of your Brooklyn Brownstone waiting and started to think back. Three months ago you were in your parents living room opening up a heavy envelope from a hospital you’ve only dreamed of. Your father beamed from ear to ear, chest swelling with pride and tears were already in your mom’s eyes the moment a paper cutter went through the envelope. Your eyes flew across the page “Y/FN Y/LN, We would like to offer you the position of Head of Cardiology here at Mount Sinai...” everything else had been a blur. All your sleepless nights in college, all the anxiety, stress, sacrifices of missed birthdays and family gatherings, all of it had lead up to this moment and it had all been worth it. Your job started in the next 5 months and you had to pack up your Texan life and move all the way to the ‘big Apple’ as your dad called it. Besides the fact that you were infatuated with the city since you were a little girl, you were ready for a change of scenery. There were so many good memories here in Fort Worth but thanks to your asshole ex, Daniel, there were also a lot of sour ones as well. Your parents and your younger siblings helped you pack up your little house that was just  15 minutes from theirs. You were able to get everything done in about 2 weeks. At the airport your family saw you off. Your younger brother, Benjamin, eyes were red.

           “Aww baby brother are you crying because you’re going to miss me?” you pinched at his cheeks.

           Swatting your hand away he chuckled “Nah, I’m just thinking about how you’re gonna be in a whole nother state bossing people around and how you’ll finally be able to mind your own business and stay out of mine.” You hugged him and he bent down so you could kiss his forehead. Even though you were 26, a whole 7 years older than him and 5’8, he still towered above you.

           Turing to your 3 youngest sisters, Joy, Faith and Hope. Their names a testament to just how southern and Christian your parents were. They were huddled together crying freely, looking like little black angels in a chapel. You hugged each of them while the youngest, Hope, held on the longest. You hugged her until she was ready to let go. You kissed Faith on the cheek and moved to turn to your parents. The third oldest Joy grabbed you and hugged you once again, fiercley. She whispered in your ear “Y/N, I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to take care of them the way you took care of us, what are we gonna do without you?”

           You looked into her brown eyes “Joy, babe all you have to do is love them. Also I’m just a FaceTime call away, PLUS I’m a big shot doctor so it ain’t nothing for me to hop on a plane for y’all. Girl I got monnneeyyyy” That managed to get a little laugh from her and you stepped back to look at your siblings. Technically yes, they were your younger ones but due to the large age gap you always looked at them as your children, your babies. The 4 of them huddled around you once more and hugged. You turned to your dad who was never one to shy away from his emotions, was all but balling.

           “Come on dad, you gotta hold it together man!” he laughed and wiped at his cheeks

“I’m just so proud of you baby girl, you inspire your brother and sisters to do more, your mother and I have always told you that, but I never told you, you inspire me to. I am beyond proud of you.”

           “Aw dad, I love you so much” Pulling you into one of his patented hugs he said “I love you too. You’re going to the big apple now Doc, make sure you take a bite” Kissing your forehead you turned to face your mom. Oh boy. Of you made it through this one you would be home free, no ugly snot face crying. She gave you the best smile she could and that was it. The dam broke and you were sobbing. She hugged you and told you how proud of you she was, how you were a shining light for your siblings and the family as a whole. She told you that she also packed some food from home in your suitcase so you could settle in a little easier. You looked at her with a heart full of nothing but love. You were a little neurotic, and had a tendency to be anal retentive, planning and sticking to strict schedule for everything, predicting 10’000 possible outcomes to any situation but your mother was always there for you. Always remembering anything you didn’t. You thought of how she was really the only one you would let see vulnerable and take care of you. You would miss that in New York. Picking up your hand luggage you were whisked through security thanks to your first class ticket. Turning once more now passed security you stood up on your tip toes and waved emphatically to your family, not caring who saw you or them looking crazy. Your family had already been a little above average but this new job allowed you to even buy your wants not just your needs. You settled down in your chair and noticed only a handful of people were in your cabin. A stewardess came to offer you some champagne and you politely declined. Looking out the window a few seconds letting the last tear fall you put your curly hair up, you had to get to work.

           So yes, you were a doctor and that was all good and fun but you were also a huge nerd. Huge. While most people went to the club, concerts and generally having pretty good times outdoors you were stuck at home. Even when not studying you were still stuck to your computer. Once your family insisted on going to six flags and you brought your ipad with the attachable keyboard and your family kept talking about how dedicated of a student turned intern turned full-fledged doctor you were. If only they knew… You were working on your fanfiction and your followers and subbies were a bunch of savages! If they didn’t get their fix from you and you didn't stick to your upload schedule, your inbox would definitely be a madness, all sorts of threats and your lovelies would call you everything but a child of God. You’d been away for about a month and a few days now and your beta, Jay had started texting your actual phone. You met Jay on Tumblr a few years before, there had been some light flirtation always present but never anything serious. You worked better as friends and when you decided to get into fanfiction to blow steam off, he proved a good beta reader.

TXT From Jay: Doc! Where the hell are you at? Your rabid readers are jumping down my throat trying to you. Why you would leave a major cliffhanger for Captain America, and Sonia I have no idea. They want to know what’s happening next, low key I do too.

           You giggled. You thought of everything, you knew setting up a completely unaffiliated and untraceable account for your writing was a good idea. 1- you didn't want angry people in your inbox losing their minds. 2- You’ve been going for interviews and you didn't want a case where a potential employer would google your name and see all the filth you think about earth’s mightiest heroes and other people who don’t even exist. No way, you couldn't have that type of rep attached to you.

TXT From Y/N: Jaybaby, I’ve been going through it. Sorry, just been in the process of moving and you know life can get a little messy. Plus I really needed a break. Funnily enough I’m working on The Dangerous Dame right now. I’ll send the new chapter to you within the week. XO

Thinking back to seeing the avengers save New York you were grateful for them. They were kicking ass and taking names. Keeping all of us safe but damn if they weren’t all so fine. And you did mean ALL. To be honest that Natasha could. Get. It. All of them could get it. But there was something about that Captain America. He was sort of shy and had a boyish charm about him but that body made you think of pure sin. You wanted to wrap yourself around him and never let him go. You wanted to do nasty things to him. You wanted him to completely demolish you. So you did what everyone who is obsessed with anyone does. Try and consume as much media about said person as possible. Hey, It is the golden age of technology after all. After having your fill of random fan pictures, blurry videos of him in action you needed more stimulus. Where better to turn than Tumblr. Much to your dismay, there was barely any Cap Fanfic and when there was there was so little reader insert. And even then, there was literally less than 10 where he was actually into a black woman. This wouldn't do, you thought to yourself. That’s how Doctor Chris was born. Of course his name was Steve but he always sort of looked like a Chris to you. You didn’t just write about him but other people too, your stories took off and were a good escape from your hectic life.

           A car pulled up to you on your empty street and a short round man with a very stereotypical New Yorker accent shouted up to you, shaking you our of your memories

           “Ay lady, are you” his beady eyes peered at a piece of paper “Y/N? Are you Y/N?”

           “Yes that’s me”

           “Alright come get your unit, and not to be rude or anything but could you make it snappy? I got to make 15 more deliveries before the day is over.”

You slowly rose “Alright, I understand. However I paid for the delivery service? Aren’t y’all supposed to put it in my house?”

           “Lady you paid for the delivery service, not the installation service. That's another fee.”

           “I understand that” You replied still confused “ But I thought you would deliver it into my home.”

           “No way lady, that’s the set up service. You paid for the delivery service. That's an entirely different fee.” He repeated.

           “Understood” Your lips pulled into a flat line “Well sir could you at least help me get it into the first floor of my house?”

           “Did you pay for transportation insurance?”

           “….no…I didn-”  he cut you off “Well sorry Lady, I can’t help you.”

           “You can’t help me off load this huge AC and just carry it up 7 measly steps with me?”

           “Nope, can’t do it. It’s against company policy. Say I should look up at a pretty bird cuz the day’s so gorgeous and what not, then your unit slips out of my hand, there goes your cool breeze. Who’s gonna pay for that? Certainly not the company, cuz you didn’t pay for the transport insurance. That's a different fee. Now you’re angry at me, I mean technically it was my fault for being so clumsy and distractable and what not. But guess who else isn’t gonna pay? Me! Then guess whos gonna be upset and take me to court but loose horrifically because my brother in law just passed the bar? You! So lady no, I can’t help you. Why don’t you get one of the other tenants in the building to help you?”

           “Well, not that it’s any of your business, but I own the brownstone and I live alone. So there’s no one that could help me.”

           “You had enough money to get a brownstone but not enough to pay the fee?”

           “Alright thanks whatever your name is. I’ll just take my AC Now.”

           You looked at him while you struggled for 15 minutes just to get the AC out of the truck and the second you safely had it on the baking concrete of the curb you heard the back of the truck slide down and heard a door slam. You turned around to see the truck driver starting up the car and he shouted over the roaring engine.

           “Thanks for shopping with Coole Breeze, your number one cooling solution  in the tricity area, have a frosty day!” and with that, he was off.

           Even though you were wearing a  pretty airy romper and you did work out about 3 times a week, that was nothing against that heavy ass air conditioner and that Brooklyn heat. You put your hands on top your head and squinted up the sky. You again thank God your street was empty. You must have sweated out your Twist out and edges by now. You were convinced you were looking crazy. But hey, It was a Tuesday at 1. Everyone who was someone was at work, kids were in school so it was just you and this behemoth air conditioning unit.  Getting into classic Y/N calculations your decided what you were going to do. Yes, this AC was, technically for your room but you won’t be able to get it all the way up there by yourself right now so you can create a pulley system and pull it through the window. Huffing and puffing to your started mimicking your father.

           ‘Buy a fixer upper baby girl, it's a great investment. You could build your dream home and sell it eventually , it’ll be fun! Your brother and I will fly up there to help you whenever you need us or have free time. Matter of fact I’m pretty sure my army buddy Wilson still lives in New York…Not sure the part though. But I know he and his boy are engineers of some sort. I can even ring them up to help you when I can’t make it myself. This will be a terrific family project honey!’

           “ Sure dad!” you shouted at no one in particular “ who’s going to help me now though?!” At least your mother had the foresight to buy you a fully equipped toolbox, 12 foot ladder and a whole bunch of things that a new homeowner/renovator needs. It took a bit of maneuvering but you were able to get the ladder out the door and down the steps. You were now atop of it, building and hammering away at a pulley system. You were determined to sleep in a chilly 50 degrees tonight, by any means necessary. You saw two men one white and one black, approaching from your left through your peripheral vision. You steeled yourself to any cat calling that may occur, from the angle - to what you had on, it wasn’t a good situation. You couldn't make out faces but you could see that one was visibly bigger than the other. They stopped walking a little behind you and you couldn't tell which one asked but you heard someone say

           “Hi, do you need any help?”

           “O fanks” You replied with a slight lift of your hand with a screwdriver hanging out the side of your mouth and a heavy covering of sweat on your forehead. Using the back of your hand to wipe the sweat off you removed the screwdriver from your mouth and cleared your throat then repeated “No thanks” In a clearer manner. Thinking to yourself how could these guys even help me? While screwing and grunting softly you weren’t mentally present. You were trying to solve the problem you created. You had written yourself into a corner and you were trying to figure out a way out of it. You started to get the thread of an idea that you were mentally trying to work into a tapestry for your readers, however, while still trying to flesh it out something else was fighting for your attention. In the back of your mind you heard his voice again.

           “Are you sure? We may be able to be of better help than you thin-” Remembering your mothers call the night before talking about a movie she watched on lifetime where people in the ‘big city’ would help you get something into your house as supposed good Samaritans then come back and rob you, or do worse you decided against it instantly.

           “Listen, thanks but no.” You huffed out “Apparently I paid for the delivery service and not the installation service as the lovely delivery man told me. This however does NOT include carrying my AC up the 4 flights of stairs to my bedroom because that's apparently another fee. So no, there isn’t anything you gentlemen could do for me” You heard a little chuckle behind you and heard a quieter deeper voice say:

           “You have to pay the fees, that’s where they get you” his voice was full of laughter. He wasn’t outright laughing but you could still somehow hear it in his voice.

           Momentarily forgetting you were on a ladder you whipped around to give the guy a piece of your mind. But all it takes is a moment. And in that moment, you were falling backward off a 12 foot ladder. Back, back, back, you go thinking this is how it would end. You dead on the concrete. You hadn’t been to china town yet! Why hadn’t you been to china town? Or the empire state building! OR the statue of liberty! You shouldn't have rushed your mom off the phone last night. You would have given anything to hear her aimless ramblings and numerous ‘be carefuls’ one last time. OH GOD! You hadn’t had sex in a year and a half! This is how you were going to die. Trying to tell off some harassers with an uncompleted house in your name before you started your dream job. You squeezed your eyes shut and braced for impact

           Your body hit something that was hard like cement but was warmer and…. Somehow smelled like leather? And Christmas? And Home somehow? You opened your eyes to see a face partially obscured by a blue baseball hat pulled down over the front and a full beard. You couldn't see who he was and he was leaning in close to your face while he held you. There was something so familiar about him, but you couldn't place it. His voice kept fading in and out of your head.

           “Ma’am? Ma’am! Stay with me!”

Sounding like echos of screams and whispers bouncing off the inside of your skull all at once you blinked slow and mustered out what you could:

           “Don't…Tell me what to do…Asshole” and everything faded to black.

_______________________________________________________________________

Okay guys! thats about it for the first one. I would really appreciate the feedback! Is this something you would want more of? Or should I move on to some other fic ideas I have? Let me know and thanks for reading!

[idolish7fanpage]

Ogami Banri Appreciation Post

Ogami Banri is the man that represents “10,000″ in IDOLiSH7 and is one of the hardest workers in Takanashi Productions! This is an appreciation post dedicated especially for him since it’s the 8th of September today - his birthday!

(Sources have also been included wherever possible so you can check it out yourself too!)

• Banri is the biggest IDOLiSH7 stan... in their first live, he was the person that held the most glow sticks and cheered the most! He’s waving his glow sticks so high that you can’t even see them anymore... they’re off-screen??? (What a mood though) Tsumugi and Otoharu, you can do better than him... she’s their manager and he scouted those boys You can even see Banri’s support for them from afar!

BANRI’S GLOW STICKS ARE LITERALLY THE BRIGHTEST THING EVER THOUGH??? Excuse my poor circling, I did it on mobile with my shaky hands lmao Anyways, in a Vibrato trailer, you can hear Banri playing “NATSU Shiyou Ze!” in the background! Moreover, his favourite song is an IDOLiSH7 song, Joker Flag! Banri is thoroughly enjoying himself and that makes me incredibly happy

• Banri’s been employed by TakaPro for (more than) 5 years?? That is a lot of dedication and commitment, whereas he also quite willingly does overtime and even became upset when he was asked to take a break. Wow I can’t relate, I love my breaks

Banri has sworn his life to Otoharu and has said several times that he’ll work for the president for the rest of his life (x) #No Retirement For Banri and has called Otoharu an ikemen before. God, TakaPro is such a wholesome place.

Anyways, Banri is an extremely hard worker as his duties include taking care of Kinako, fanclub registration, preparing lunchboxes, accompanying members of IDOLiSH7 when they finish work late at night (x), he used to pick Tsumugi up from school when it was raining (x) and also does many other things. He also manages the official Twitter page! Overall, a very hard worker! I cannot relate in the slightest but then again—

I, too, would like to sleep in a hammock (x). [I believe ’here’ is a typo and it’s actually meant to be ‘where’...? Random guess though]

• Banri’s househusband stats are over 9000! He can cook, clean and he can do hair too! He’s braided his own hair before, and he’s done a few hairstyles for Tsumugi before.

• Everyone loves Ogami Banri - IDOLiSH7, Takanashi Productions, TRIGGER, Okazaki Productions and Re:vale. There’s a huge joint effort to celebrate Banri’s birthday (x). Moreover, Anesagi’s commented that if they were to be wed to someone then it would be a man like Banri (but if they were to fall in love, then they would want it to be a prince... like Nagi) (x). Everyone loves Banri. Everyone. They even started a debate over it (x).

• Banri looks so good?? This lovely man is a combination of pretty/cute and handsome/hot (whichever words you prefer to use LOL). Moreover, he should be #HairGoals for any person with long hair. Look at how smooth and silky it is... must be spending all of his paycheck to maintain it, you know what though, I’ll bet he’s the type that does absolutely nothing to his hair and it still looks as gorgeous as it does

If you somehow don’t like this man’s appearance, I will convince you otherwise. I mean, even Otoharu says “Banri, you’re handsome as always” and Tsumugi goes “You’re beautiful Banri” (x). Experts at (flirting) praising: the Takanashi family

Like all wonderful men, Banri is actually quite dense! -starts sobbing uncontrollably- During her middle school years, it’s been hinted that Tsumugi had a slight crush on Banri (x) while she herself states it was simply admiration (Tsumugi giving out super mixed signals??) and gave him Valentine’s chocolates, but he thought it was out of courtesy (x). He does like chocolate though (Tanemura Arina’s “Re:member” manga Ch1, pictured below) and he also likes making and eating minced chicken lunchboxes (x)!

SPOILERS FOR MAIN STORY PARTS 2 AND 3 (from the game): Not recommended to be read unless you’ve already seen it, or you don’t mind spoilers

Banri is a former idol and he was a part of the original Re:vale! His singing voice has been praised by IDOLiSH7 when he joins them in karaoke and has sang the song ‘Mikansei na Bokura’!

Banri is absolutely merciless - he talks smack about Yuki whenever he gets a chance and will call Yuki “Disgusting” with absolutely no hesitation (x) but Yuki’s so pretty though. Moreover, Yuki literally got into so much trouble that Banri’s bloody desensitized to troublemakers. He thought of smashing a fake burglar’s face in so hard with a fire extinguisher that they’d never be able to go out in public again (x). A true savage.

He says “I’m trained for situations like this” but is that really the case...? Aren’t you just resorting straight to violence...? I mean, the burglar would’ve started the crime first but Banri’s escalating it to a whole different level lololol

Banri was actually quite good at nicknames surprised at Momo’s appearance in the audience, so he was constantly using nicknames to refer to Momo (x)!

Banri Mindset 101: Why use an actual name when you can just give him a nickname based off your impression of him (well he didn’t know Momo’s name at that time so chronology is doing its work)

According to Yuki, Banri is a natural player(?)! Actually, wait, no Yuki, he really isn’t... He’s had several girlfriends but they have dumped him as a result of Yuki, believing he had another woman on the side (x). I can just imagine it rolling out... “You have another woman?!”, “Wait no—”. I would actually want to see that, sounds like an afternoon soap opera LOL Banri did call Tsumugi cute though, but then Otoharu quickly intercepted LOL

Banri is actually very selfless, like to the point where he would severely injure himself?? What a nice boy -sobs incoherently- In case you don’t recall, the light that fell was originally aimed at Yuki. However, Banri noticed the falling light and shoved Yuki out of the way and then became injured in Yuki’s place. The damage has caused a permanent scar on Banri (x), although the position of it has never been revealed. I really do love the relationship between Yuki and Banri though. Even though Yuki’s always getting into trouble and Banri finds it low key, high key annoying, they still care about each other

Banri’s extremely wholesome though?? He states that he likes the current Re:vale more (Momo and Yuki) which is probably indirectly saying he prefers them over the previous Re:vale (himself and Yuki), and is perfectly content with remaining as their fan, rather than interacting with one another like how it was in the past! Banri’s probably also prefers the current Re:vale because he realised he was interested more in the managerial aspect of being an idol, rather than being an idol itself.

Not really too much a spoiler since it’s on the wiki as well but Banri’s the manager of MEZZO”!

I can literally hear this gif?? I can just hear these two beautiful men talking about their stay to Okinawa and how Tamaki’s soon going to devour that fruit sundae

To conclude this appreciation post, have a solemn Banri!

To be honest though, I couldn’t fit everything that was wonderful about Banri and plus I was starting to lag from the amount of content here. The characters are honestly just so good, but if people actually liked this, I could totally create a ‘Ogami Banri Appreciation Post pt.2′.

[elliepassmore]

The Woman Who Smashed Codes Review

5/5 stars Recommended for people who like: nonfiction, WWII, code breaking, women's history, forgotten historical figures, biographies I picked up this book not knowing anything about Elizebeth Freidman, but knowing the book was about code breaking, WWII, a woman in history, and that it was a biography. Since I like all of those things, it was reason enough to buy it without knowing much more about the subject, and it thankfully turned out to be a good purchase. Elizebeth Friedman didn't set out to be a cryptanalyst, she actually set out and began teaching, though she had other aspirations initially. Through fate and coincidence, she ended up being brought into the fold of code breakers in 1916, before America had even entered WWI. The story really picks up there, in Elizebeth's early code breaking days. Fagone is good at describing the settings and feelings of a moment in time so that it feels as exhilarating or frightening or joyful as it actually was on that day. Those early days at Riverbank were described in such a way that, despite almost immediately seeing through George Fabyan, I was as enamored with the place as Elizebeth had been in her early 20s. I find this bit really interesting, because it just goes to show that Elizebeth really wasn't trained in decoding until her 20s, and she had never seemed the puzzle-intuitive sort before she worked in Riverbank, yet she became one of the most helpful code breakers to the US military in only a few short years. I thought the background Fagone gave on code breaking and its evolution up to the point of the story (which naturally changed at different points within the story) was interesting. I enjoyed reading about Elizebeth's and William's work, discoveries, and accomplishments, and then seeing how they were improved upon or challenged by other individuals and countries coming up in the science of code breaking and creation at the same time. It's super crazy to me that when Elizebeth was just starting out she was literally one of less than 10 cipher experts in the country, and one of the very few in the world as well. She literally helped build the science from the ground up. The book also goes into detail about what Elizebeth did post-WWI and the Prohibition cipher work she did to unearth rum-running gangs. It's a seemingly random, mostly benign bit of code breaking that appears to only have impacts and implications for 1) improving code breaking/creation, and 2) seems to only have context in smuggling. However, as Fagone explains, it was that code breaking work exactly that led to Elizebeth deciphering messages coming from Nazis in WWII. Everything in her career is just so connected despite coming from what initially appears to be disparate elements. While the book does center on Elizebeth, there are sections, and sometimes chapters, dedicated to other people who appear in the story. The most prominent of these 'side characters' is her husband, William Friedman. Elizebeth was the one originally doing decoding work and was eventually followed by William. The two ended up working so well together and were able to do their work so thoroughly and come up with ideas so innovative that both ended up working in code breaking and the intelligence community for a decent length of time. William, naturally, ended up getting more press coverage over time because he was a guy and because Elizebeth was able to catalog a lot of his work and send it to a private library to be viewed, though the couple were rather egalitarian in their views of one another, continually claiming neither was smarter or better than the other. Elizebeth did enjoy the spotlight in the 1930s (and by 'enjoy' I mean 'was in,' since she apparently disliked the attention), but the nature of war work drove her away from the press and deeper into the web of national security and international intelligence. I definitely enjoyed the book and thought it was fascinating and easy to read. Fagone explains any unfamiliar terms or acronyms and readily goes into the history of certain machines, operations, or events that people might not be familiar with. And aside from Part II, which is a whopping 60-pages straight, the chapters are all pretty digestible, though maybe not to read if you're in a hurry since anytime I tried to read just one chapter I got sucked in and wanted to read more.

[vronnica]

‹ ･ ｡ ☾  [ blackpink vc ] hey boys. soz for missing plotting hour and opening… my bf wanted a cheese and wine night, so y’all know i was knocked af for like 12+ hrs. but now i am back and ready for action ! HENNYWAYS,,, i’m acacia ( she/her ), i’m twenty years of age, and i hail from the pst timezone ! i love kpop ( specifically got7 and blackpink. however, my ult bias is vernon from seventeen. if you know, you know. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  ), milk tea, and mac and cheese. sooo sorry you’re all trapped in this rp w/ me. but y’all will learn to adore my 3am messages and casual spam on the dash. with that being said, under the cut you’ll find out more about my piece of shit baby angel, ronnie ! if you want ur muse to be friends with the stereotypical rich bitch. keep on readin bbs ;) psa: if you like this then you’re obligated to plot with me srry but i don’t make the rules. ( i’m jk please like this or i’ll cry. ) i’ll either slide in your IMs or you can contact me on discord @ mlilk#3162

jennie kim & cisfemale • hey, isn’t that veronica moon? she is that twenty-two year old that’s been living in conyers farm for twenty years. did you know her family is worth $18B? no wonder she is so ingenious & haughty. she is known around the estates as the aesthete, after all. 

                                Q U I C K   G U I D E   O F   V E R O N I C A

PINTEREST BOARD

STATISTICS PAGE

RELATIONSHIPS ( WANTED CONNECTIONS )

                                    H E R   D A I L Y   R O U T I N E

in veronica’s dreams, she is the epitome of a morning person. in reality, she’s a two in the afternoon kind of person. however, her schedule does not allow her to do that. so she does everything possible to transform herself into a morning person. new white rays shine through the window as she lies in her queen sized bed. she lifts up the aqua colored silk eye mask and the warm ball of light filtered through her thin eyelids. it takes her a moment to adjust but eventually her eyes flutter open to reveal the exhaust in her chocolate brown hues. she extends her arm out to her bed side table, grabbing ahold of her phone. she clears out the notifications that do not automatically appeal to her and checks the ones that do. after five minutes of procrastinating, she finally slips out of bed.

ronnie trudges her feet against the hardwood floor, making her way over to her bathroom. with a flick of a switch, the bright light from the crystal chandelier fills up the room. she runs herself a bath. filling the tub with lavender and jasmine bath salts. her le soir silk night slip pools around her feet as she climbs into the warm water. she’s completely and utterly relaxed. the time passes too quickly and she’s back on her feet. she wraps the fluffy white towel around her small frame and walks into her closet. winter, her favorite time of the year. she picks out a classic veronica moon outfit. a light orange and black tartan patterned dress paired with her wool cashmere burberry coat. and with a single spritz of her chanel no.5 onto her chest, she’s ready for the day.

                                              B A C K S T O R Y

moon jisung, ( chairman and co-owner of urban place resorts / hotels ) met vanessa ross ( retired model, turned fashion designer ) back in 1995 at one of vanessa’s casting calls. that, of course, was being held at urban place’s gangnam location. it definitely was not love at first sight. vanessa’s serious aura made jisung think she was a lawyer. jisung’s spazzy persona had vanessa thinking, “ this man is the chairman ? ” their relationship remained business. until one day jisung accidentally texted the designer one letter, “ q. ” from there, the relationship blossomed.

october 29, 1996, veronica moon was born, the moon family was complete, and they’re absolutely perfect. two years after she was born, jisung and vanessa decided to make a permanent home in conyers farm. therefore, veronica grew up in a really nice household. nice cars, designer clothes, and every day was a vacation. she was constantly spoiled. always given whatever she wants, whenever she wants. and of course, she’s used to getting her way all the time. ultimately making her: bad and boujee. her family is loaded. ( duh every1′s is. ) and she’s always been surrounded by lots of love and luxury.

being the only child, ronnie never had any consequences. in school, she became sort of a bully. she was very ruthless and cold. she had that, “i’ll do anything to get where i need to be,” personality. and if it meant paying someone to transfer the other student threatening her valedictorian spot, then yes, of course she’d do that. people either hated her or loved her. there was no in between. she kept her clique small. ( yes, a clique, which indeed was very exclusive. invite only. think of regina george or blair waldorf. ) she ran her school and she liked to keep it that way. 

once she graduated she became more of an adult about things. but, old habits die hard. therefore, some of those traits she developed in school still linger with her til this day. just a little more filtered. ( truly, just a tad bit. ) she got accepted into almost every ivy league college. her mother gave her the option to just pass on college. her father on the other hand, encouraged her to go to school to have the major under her belt. ultimately, she decided to go to yale and major in art history. ( she chose yale because it was only a little over an hour away from conyers. ) though, now, most of her classes are being completed online.

present time: veronica is currently taking a semester off school to really think about what she wants to do after she graduates. at the moment, she spends a majority of her time working on her art. growing up she always had an artistic eye. vanessa ( being a fashion designer ) taught her all the techniques when it came to drawing for fashion. though eventually, veronica steered away from the clothing industry and found herself drawing more intricate works of art.

                                           P E R S O N A L I T Y

too long; didn’t read: an angel with a halo unbalanced with horns, not a devil but not a saint either ?? kind yet has a backbone. softer than what she seems like. humorous and witty though understanding. mistrusting but willing to let loyalty speak. wealthy but tries not to depend on her family. stays away from the king glitterati lifestyle and fronts as if she’s just a normal gal livin’ in conyers etcetc.

she has that tell it like it is personality. she just calls it likes she sees it. even if she’s not exactly right. she’s literally drowning in her riches. making her materialistic af. some people might think she’s that dumb bimbo rich bitch. but she’s actually very VERY smart. witty and intelligent to be exact. 

super particular when it comes to most things. ( high maintenance queen. ) she wants things done correctly. so she often runs by the quote, “ if you want things right you gotta do it yourself. ” she absolutely despises like relying on others to get things done when she knows she could do it faster and better. a little bit of a ocd queen. 

her instagram = her job. it’s filled with ootds, selfies, food pics. but most importantly: her art. it’s the platform she uses to show people she isn’t just a pretty rich girl. she has talent. ( *insert "the kardashian's have no talent" - proven wrong in 7 minutes vid.* ) 

she’s very dedicated to her work, thus making her very goal oriented. she’s very creative and she’s actually a very good artist. she’s one of those people that set their mind to something and goes through with it until the end. i’m sure she picked up doodling and bullet journaling while growing up. *plays boss ass bitch vine.*

too long; didn’t read pt. 2: she’s slowly growing out of her tough head of hair and morphing into a young woman so beautiful over the years, but also at times, terrifying ?? self destructive ?? even if she’ll never let anyone see her deteriorate her insides sigh. she’s a hot mess. but she tries her best to hide that shit. yeye sweg.

                                            R E L A T I O N S H I P S

FRIENDSHIPS: she has plenty of friends, at least in her head. in reality, she just knows a lot of people through her many connections. so she has many affiliations. but never real friends. she’s very particular with the people she associates herself with. she believes that those around you reflect who you are as a person as well. therefore, she only surrounds herself with the best of the best. she may not be the best person to tell your secrets too either because she’s quite the gossip queen. but she can probably persuade you to trust her. rip. however, if you are a close friend of her’s, she’s very loyal to those who are loyal to her. which means she’d never do you dirty. but that’s only if she really cares about you. she’s a really great listener and she’s willing to give advice to those are willing to take it. plus, she’s the type to spoil the people she loves. so expect the best christmas gifts ever if u rollin’ with her. 

honestly, she really does need to surround herself with good people with genuinely good intentions. so please, someone teach her what loyalty is. 

bonus points if they’ve been friends for awhile. displays loyalty.

ENEMIES: she was bully in high school. so you know this girl has more than enough enemies ( and haters. ) she uses people, she pushes people around, etc etc. like she has some very evil intentions. she’s vengeful and irrational. she puts fuel to drama and loves to see people crash and burn. why ? she wants that reassurance that she is flourishing above all. she never wants to be belittled and will do anything to remain on the very top. however,,, ronnie does have some good intentions. she leans more to the chaotic neutral side. ( maybe tilted a bit more towards evil, but still. ) deep deeeeep deeeeeeeeeeep down the girl is trust issue central when it comes to letting people in. she can’t help it. she’s like that one rihanna meme, them: you can’t just cut people off. ronnie: *holds a pair of scissors* she doesn’t have problem with letting people go. so people think she’s a bitch because, “how could you just drop our five year long friendship like that.” and she’d just shrug. but really, she’s hurting beyond repair and will go home crying while eating a thing of ben & jerry’s chunky monkey.

there’s always that possibility where a friendship just didn’t work out. maybe they just stopped having time for each other and now it’s just mad awk. whatever it is, an enemy would b beaut.

veronica absolutely needs enemies. give her many. plenty. an abundance please.

LOVERS: i have a feeling she’s dabbled in the dating world. she’s had a few boyfriends, dates, etc. but most likely nothing LONG TERM. possibly because she doesn’t see the point unless it’s for marriage. just like her mom and dad. she has this [ beyoncé vc ] independent woman facade going on right now. which makes her seem like she doesn’t want anyone. but she’s secretly a hopeless romantic. this girl would love to be loved. and she truly needs it. she’s probably read tons of books about love and fluffy shit like that. it’d be a hard mission to win this girl over. but not impossible. she just has high expectations when it comes to relationships. so someone rlly needs to come here and treat this girl right. 

100% dabbles in the quick hook ups for the sake of fulfilling those needs. 

though, if the right person were to come along… she’d be loyal to them, completely devoted to just them.

CONGRATULATIONS ! you made it to end ! if you read all of this… i love you. i only ever write so much bc… it gets me in character lmao. also, i wrote all of this literally the moment i woke up so pls excuse any mistakes. i would really love to plot with everyone. so just slide into my IMs and we can get things started !! luv u *blows a kiss*

[readingraebow]

Dark Places Section One

Libby Day (Now) - Libby Day (Now) (approx pages 1-120)

1. Why does Libby not have to work? What does Jeff come to visit her about? In what way might Lyle be able to help solve her problem with Jeff? Libby's entire family was murdered when she was seven and a donation fund was set up for her. When she was eighteen she got access to the fund and she's been living off the money in the thirteen years since then. The fund has expanded a few times due to the tragedy reentering the press and small appearances and such in the years since. But now that Libby is 31, people don't really want to donate anymore because she's a grown woman now and there are new little girls who need their help. That's why Jeff sees Libby. He's basically her accountant/is in charge of the fund and he warns her that there's only 900 and something dollars left in the fund and it's time to start thinking about what to do when the money runs out. He suggests Libby find a job. But a letter from Lyle offers Libby a business proposition. She's to meet with his club and he'll pay her $700 just to show up.

2. When Libby gets to the place where the Kill Club meets, she sees booths all around of people obsessed with different crimes and murders. If you were part of the Kill Club, which crime would you have your booth themed? This is a super hard question because there are honestly so many that interest me? Lizzy Borden, Belle Gunness, Gertrude Banizewski, Aileen Wuornos, The Zodiac Killer, The Golden State Killer, H. H. Holmes (as you can see, American Horror Story has only added to my obsession with serial killers; oops), JonBenét Ramsey, Ted Bundy. But honestly the crime that probably interests me the most/I've researched the most/the one I'm most obsessed with is Columbine. So if I had a whole booth dedicated to something, it would be that one. I can literally talk for hours/days/years about Columbine and one time we had friends staying with us and they mentioned Columbine aND I WHIPPED OUT A POWERPOINT to talk about it. It's fine.

3. When Libby gets a chance to talk to the members of the Kill Club, what does she learn about how some of them feel? What does Libby admit that she didn’t actually see?She learns that most of them think Ben is innocent. One of the members in the group is actively trying to get him out of prison. But most of them think that Libby couldn't have possibly seen what she says she saw and that she was lying and was just led by the prosecution to convict the most easy target. They said the case had a spectacular lack of physical evidence and even Libby's testimony was incoherent at best and, yet, Ben was still convicted. The leading theory, though, is that Libby's father, Runner Day, is the actual killer. And while Libby staunchly believes that Ben is the killer, she honestly doesn't know because she was hiding in her mother's closet at the time of the murders and when she heard the murderer start searching the house for her, she jumped out the window and hid until morning. So while she testified that she saw Ben do it, she didn't actually see anything. But she heard everything.

4. What does Patty do for a living, and how is it working out for her? What bad news does Len bring to Patty? Patty runs the family farm. When she married Runner, they took it over from her parents. That was during the boom times and Runner was a little too enthusiastic about it. They ended up taking a loan out from the bank to expand and buy new equipment, thinking that the farm would perform well and they could easily pay it back. But that didn't happen and Runner ended up leaving and now Patty is running the farm alone. Well, she hasn't paid on the loan in three years and her crop doesn't even yield enough to support them and when she does make money from the crops it goes toward the loan but it's just not enough. And the last time Len visited, she had to have an auction and sell off her farming equipment for way less than it was worth and I honestly don't even know how she's running the farm at this point?? Anyway, when Len comes this time, it's to tell Patty that they're foreclosing and she's run out of options.

5. Who is Diondra? Who is Krissi? Diondra is Ben's girlfriend. She's two years older than him (she's 17, he's 15) and rich. Her parents hae another house in Texas and they spend most of their time there so she's left alone a lot and basically does whatever she wants, including not going to school most of the time. And she's who Ben's always talking to on the phone and her house is where he usually goes when he's out. She is basically the biggest influence in his life, at this point, and as soon as he turns 16 and can drive, Ben wants to run away to Wichita (of all places) with her and live in their own apartment and work in her Uncle's sporting goods store. However, there's also Krissi. She's in the grade above Michelle's and has a crush on Ben. He was asked to help with an after school art class one day and he did and that's where he met Krissi. He ended up volunteering to help that art class for another month. Krissi also lives like an hour or so away so she has to wait forever for her dad to pick her up after school so Ben started waiting in the stairwell with her for her dad. Well, one day just before Christmas break, he ended up making out with Krissi.

6. Why does Libby think it’s just as much everyone else’s fault Ben is in jail as it is her fault? Because the entire trial was basically a circus. Libby's testimony was all over the place but the prosecution lawyer led Libby exactly where he wanted her to go and basically convinced her to say Ben was guilty. The defense lawyer treated her like he was walking on egg shells which didn't help Ben in the slightest because all Libby did was defend the prosecution. And then were was Ben himself. He acted like he didn't care at all about the trial and when they asked him about Satanic worship, he just fed right into it. He also wore his long black hair in a ponytail and basically didn't really clean up for court and just looked and acted like a criminal. He didn't try to defend himself at all. The defense lawyer also tried to bring up the evidence that didn't match with Ben but he failed to really make a case and really defend Ben. So while Libby's testimony was the cornerstone of the trial, the entire thing was so poorly handled that it wasn't just Libby's fault Ben was convicted.

7. In what way does Ben act about being in jail when Libby goes to see him? Ben says he's okay with it. It's been almost 25 years and he's made his peace with being in prison. He realizes that a lot of it was his fault because he didn't take the trail seriously enough. He never, ever thought he would be convicted. He thought he would be acquitted and then he'd be more popular at school. But, clearly, that didn't happen. But he also doesn't blame Libby for her testimony and he doesn't think she's the reason he was locked up. He's honestly surprised that anyone believed her because she was seven and so clearly coached. He thinks the fact that anyone believed her just meant that they wanted him locked up and there's nothing he could do about it. And when Libby asks if he wants to get out, he says of course he does but he doesn't see that happening unless they find who really did it. He also says he doesn't have a good alibi for that night so it's not like he really has any ground to stand on if he wanted to appeal. So he's made his peace with being in prison and he's okay with it. It's like he thinks he's making up for not being home to save his family and not being man enough in the first place. But he's glad to see Libby because he really is homesick.

8. Who does Lyle think murdered the Day family and why does he think this? He thinks the Day family was murdered by Lou Cates, Krissi Cates's dad. Apparently the Cates family accused Ben of molesting Krissi and Lyle thinks that Lou came over that night to question Ben about it and went into a rage and just murdered the whole family. Apparently Lou had done time for manslaughter previously. He had a wild temper and finding out someone had hurt his daughter would've definitely set him off. (I don't buy that theory at all though??? The murderer called Libby's name and looked for her. If Lou was looking for Ben and just started murdering, he didn't know any of them and he wouldn't have known to look for Libby. He would've been looking for Ben.)

9. When Libby calls Krissi’s mother, where does she say Lou would be? Where does she say Krissi would be? She says Lou would be in a bar probably somewhere in the state of Kansas (helpful) and to find Krissi just go west on I-70 past Columbia (Missouri, I'm assuming? Since Columbia, Kansas is literally abandoned; also why is Kansas basically just a copy and paste of Missouri with the state name changed???? There are so many towns wITH THE SAME NAME O.O) and take a left into any of the strip clubs. So. Also wildly helpful. (Wow, Krissi's mom. Top job with your first family. You sound like a wonderful human being. Not. *eyeroll*)

  Section One Reading Journal

Okay so. We all know that I hated Gone Girl. But for some reason I, at some point, bought all of Gillian Flynn’s novels. And I even started reading one of the others (I thought it was this one but the first chapter isn’t what I remember reading so apparently it was Sharp Objects) but just never got around to finishing it. But her other novels honestly really do interest me. So all of that being said, I’ve been really excited to read this one and I honestly enjoyed this first section so much?? I really didn’t want to put it down.

I love that this story takes place in Missouri and Kansas. I love that Libby currently lives in Kansas City; that’s one of my absolute favorite cities. And that restaurant where she meets Jim Jeffreys I’m pretty sure I’ve eaten at with my aunts??? (It honestly sounded like it might’ve been Jack Stack.) So. Lots of fun little fangirl moments. (Also why do all of Gillian Flynn’s novels seem to take place in Missouri? That fascinates me so much. Though throwback to when I originally read Gone Girl and was talking to my mom about North Carthage and she was like “it’s just Carthage” and I was like no, it’s the one by St. Louis and she was like “no, it’s by Joplin, on the other side of the state.” So apparently that’s a town Gillian Flynn made up, ahaha.)

ANYWAY, I love that this is a really engaging and well written mystery. I’m definitely feeling more of a connection to it than I ever did to Gone Girl. I already like these characters more. And I didn’t figure out the twist five minutes into reading. (I do already have several theories about the murderer, though.) And basically I’m just all around liking this one more.

Though the only thing that’s really bothering me is that I hate that all of the flashbacks are written in third person but all of the present day Libby is written in first. That feels like a weird transition to me and I hate going from the past to present chapters because of it. I’m a big fan of continuity and that format isn’t it.

Also. Side note. Did we pick this book as the first book written by a popular author? Because this is actually Gillian Flynn’s second. We should’ve read Sharp Objects (which I also really want to read because the show looks AMAZING). So. Uh. Oops. I love that we’re so good at picking things. Throwback to picking Lolita for a classic romance. (Oops.) We are on top of things. Go us!

But all kidding aside, I really am loving this book and I can’t wait to devour the next section!!!! (Watch me not go to bed tonight and just read this entire book. That’s what I almost did last night. *shifty eyes*) Okay back to reading =))

[anerdinallherglory]

Approaching Sun (11)

Author's Note: Hey guys! Sorry for such a longgggg wait. Between last chapter and this one, I had a crazy professor who assigned me a 70 page Unit Plan assignment. It was literally the HARDEST thing I have ever done. In short, I am thankful for your patience. I will get this story done eventually, I promise. However, starting on January 4th, I will be fulfilling my final internship, so I’m looking at another 4 months of busy. Don’t give up on me, though! SasuSaku will always consume my free time.

So here is your long-awaited chapter! As always, let me know what you think. And look out for the next chapter—boy am I excited to write it!

P.S. Reviews and shares always encourage a writer to write more!

Pairing: SasuSaku

Summary: After 2 years, Sasuke returns to the village where friends anxiously await him. Still troubled by the mysteries of Kaguya and his personal guilt, Sasuke is split between friends and his journey. One specific pink-haired individual has perhaps waited for him with far more dedication than anyone else. Troubled by rising casualties and international dependence on her abilities, Sakura is torn between her love for Sasuke and her duty to her village.

Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10

Chapter 11: Doing What is Best

 Sakura looked down at her feet guiltily when she heard Kakashi's voice from the door. Sasuke had already been hard enough to face, and now here was the man who was to Sakura both sensei and Hokage--not to mention whom Sakura had cussed vividly at and blamed for her own mistakes last night--coming to see her.

"What do you want?" she heard Sasuke spit out rudely as he stood anchored in the doorway, arms crossed and looking as smug as Sakura had ever seen him.

"To see Sakura, of course!" another familiar voice called out cheerfully, and Sakura's eyes grew wide when she recognized Shizune's smiling speech. Pushing past the pissed-off Uchiha, Shizune squeezed between him and the crack in the door rather forcefully. Sometimes, Sakura could see characteristics of Lady Tsunade in the young woman who was also the Sanin’s pupil.

As Kakashi made his entrance, Sakura caught the annoyed look Sasuke was giving The Hokage. Kakashi awkwardly rubbed the back of his head before whispering, "She refused to be left behind."

Shizune embraced Sakura immediately.

"Sakura," Shizune said, holding Sakura at arm's length to look her up and down, "I am glad to see you are okay. You certainly had us all worried!"

Sakura tried to look apologetic, but tears sprang forward to her eyes. Shizune looked back at Kakashi worriedly, and in response, the Hokage made his way to them.

Sakura wiped at her eyes and strengthened her resolve and looked up at Kakashi. It was time she owned up to her behavior the night before. "Lord Hokage," she began, placing her hands together and bowing before him.

"None of that," Kakashi stuttered awkwardly, ducking to lift Sakura's chin up so she could meet his eyes. "I will always be Sensei to you."

"Kakashi Sensei, I am extremely sorry for my conduct last night," she continued when he released her chin. "Please forgive me." She faintly recalled throwing glass bottles towards him and inwardly groaned. He was certain to be disappointed in her. Sakura had proven that she had a breaking point, a weakness. Ninja who showed weakness would not survive in this shinobi world.

"We all have bad days," Kakashi began, standing beside her and placing a palm fixedly on her disheveled head. "Just ask Shizune," he added, gesturing in the surprised woman’s direction, "She's had her share of drunken episodes too. Tsunade is my witness."

"Kakashi!" Shizune cried out, raising her hands to cover her red face. Sakura smiled and Kakashi grinned back at her under his mask.

"Yes, well," Shizune interjected, grabbing hold of Sakura's arm and taking her hand. "You can say that none of us are perfect. Sometimes we make unwise decisions which lead to more unwise decisions, and so on. What's important is that you are okay and that you know that none of this is your fault."

Sakura nodded her head but didn’t reply. She looked down at her feet again. Of all people, she should know what to expect being in the medical core. She had witnessed so many deaths during the Fourth Shinobi World War and here she was making a huge fuss over one child she barely knew. However, this was a suicide that Sakura believed she could have prevented if she had only done her job.

Sakura looked over at Sasuke, who was now leaning against the wall, arms crossed and eyes closed. He had the same scowling look on his face that he always wore, eyebrows angling down to make a sharp "V" and his mouth a hard, pursed line. Perhaps, if Sakura had just forgotten about him--hadn't made such a big fuss about his return, she could have done her job. Maybe this was why she was feeling so guilty.

Sasuke spoke suddenly, his voice a grumble from across the room. "Why are you here?"

All eyes turned to the forgotten ninja, a small silence falling upon them.

"Ah," Kakashi spoke up, walking over to his moody student and placing a hand on his left shoulder. Sasuke glared at him. "Apologies for just showing up unannounced. We didn’t interrupt anything did we?"

Sasuke's eyes grew wide at the comment and Sakura waved her hands frantically.

"No, nothing!" she said quickly, which seemed to make the Hokage's smile grow wider. This made Sakura's face turn almost the exact same shade as her hair color. Sakura caught Sasuke's eye and they both looked away hurriedly.

"To answer your question Sasuke," Kakashi said, codeswitching back to his Hokage speech and taking on his authoritative personality. "We came for the both of you. We have some new residents in the village who need your medical attention, Sakura. Think you can help us out?"

Sakura looked over at her sensei who was looking at her expectantly. Shizune offered Sakura a smile of her own and Sakura nodded. It was time she got back to doing what she did best. Sakura caught Sasuke's gaze and she looked away. It was time she put her patients first in all matters, even matters concerning her heart.

. . . . . .

Sasuke had groaned inwardly when Kakashi proposed that they all go to the barracks to provide medical attention to the ninja Sasuke had rescued from the Coliseum. Sasuke had thought he had dodged this very situation the other day, and when he acted as if he were about to leave their group, Kakashi had spoken up, saying, "Why don't you come with us Sasuke? I'm sure we can find something for you to do. After all, you're the reason they are here."

Sasuke had grumbled under his breath, resentful for how many times Kakashi was going to remind him of that fact. This is what he got for helping people: work, responsibility, and more work. Sasuke had gotten used to cleaning up a mess, wiping his hands spotless from it, and avoiding all aftereffects. That was one thing that Sasuke really liked about not being in the village.

"You are?" Sakura had asked, turning to face him.

Sasuke's stomach had pitched as a former concern entered in his mind at her question. This is exactly what he had been trying to avoid yesterday. He didn't want to be there when Sakura was healing the injuries he was directly responsible for. Ever since the Uchiha had entered this village, everything was going exactly how he didn't want it to. Literally everything, and this was another example.

Sasuke hadn't replied and instead Kakashi had spoken up on his behalf, not mentioning this most important detail. He skipped the part where Sasuke had directly attacked these ninja, instead just telling Sakura that he had rescued them. Sakura had looked down at her feet and smiled which made Sasuke feel even more guilty. It was lie, but he couldn't tell her the truth, just when she was starting to think well of him.

At first, Sasuke had thought that the four of them would be working together, but five minutes into their walk, Shizune had departed for the hospital, and Kakashi had merely dropped them off at the door, saying, "I forgot that I had a meeting today. I'm late, so if you will excuse me."

Sasuke had glowered at him as he placed a reassuring hand on each of their arms, saying "I believe in you two," before walking away--rather unhurriedly for someone who was late to a meeting.

Now, Sasuke stood completely useless against a wall, offering no assistance as Sakura kindly tended to the people she was healing. She had seen almost every patient while Sasuke sat back and watched her. It was something that Sasuke had never seen her do before. She wasn’t wearing her lab coat, but Sakura possessed a focused demeanor as she conducted check-ups on all the ninja. It was strange to witness her apply knowledge that Sasuke hadn't been there to witness her gain. She had always been smart, smarter than him in almost all areas of knowledge at the academy. But the woman before him wasn’t raising her finger to tell her teammates how much she knew, or chastising Naruto for how little he knew. The woman before him, currently stooped over a middle-aged man's back and using her chakra to draw out infection through a deep cut along his shoulder, was the Sakura he had missed out on.  This was who Sakura was now, and Sasuke couldn't help but admire her.

A tug on his shirt tore the Uchiha's gaze away from his pink-haired teammate and onto a small child who was looking up at him.

"You Uchiha?" a little girl asked, crossing her arms in a challenge. Sasuke frowned down at her in reply.

"Hatsuko," the man Sakura was healing hissed back at the girl, "Go back to your mother. Leave this man alone."

Hatsuko ignored her father, and matched Sasuke's glare with one of her own. "Hurt my papa again, and you'll have to fight me!" she yelled, punctuating her statement with a raised fist and a stuck-out tongue.

Sasuke hurriedly snuck a glance at Sakura and flinched when her gaze landed on him, whom obviously had not missed the exchange. He glared back at the child, not saying a word.

"Hatsuko!" her father roared, standing up hurriedly to walk in the child's direction. The little fiery juvenile sprinted off in another direction. "This man saved me!" he called after her, just as she slammed the door down the hall from them, "GET BACK HERE AND APOLOGIZE!"

Wincing, the man grabbed his shoulder and Sakura rushed over to lead him back to his chair. "Forgive me," he bowed towards Sasuke. "My daughter is young and doesn't understand what you did for us."

"I'm the one who should be apologizing," the Uchiha said softly, feeling guilty and properly chastised by a little girl. For the first time, he walked over to the man and stood solemnly before him. "Perhaps if I had thought more clearly, I could have found another way to--"

"Don't blame yourself, young man" the ninja interrupted, flinching suddenly as Sakura tightly secured the final knot of his stitches. Clearing his throat, he continued, "There was no other way. What you did for us is something to be proud of. We would all be stuck fighting for our lives in that hellish place if it weren’t for you. We are all extremely grateful."

Sasuke glanced over to Sakura. Now that the cut was now clean and freshly stitched, Sakura covered the wound with gauze and wrapped it securely with bandage wrap.

"You're all done," she stated, "I'll be back in ten days to remove the stitches. Make sure to keep the wound clean. Be gentle and apply fresh bandages every night, except for tonight."

"Yes ma'am," he said, standing and bowing graciously to Sasuke's teammate. "I am grateful to you both. Konoha has some very fine ninja. It is thanks to you that I don’t have to worry about being separated from my family or sold to another shinobi. You have brought me the peace of freedom, Uchiha Sasuke."

As the man took his leave, he apologized once again for his daughter's behavior.

After he was out of sight, he turned to Sakura who was now cleaning up the stitching kit that was laid out across the counter. She pushed it carefully in a big yellow bag that she had brought along with her. Sakura picked it up and Sasuke closed his eyes when she walked past him out the door. She stopped to wait for him in the hall and he followed her until they were past all the people who stopped them and thanked them.

Once out the door and into the darkness, Sasuke caught up with Sakura and took the bag out of her hand. It was the only polite thing he believed had ever done for anyone probably ever in his life.

"Thank you," she said surprised. A small smile touched her lips but Sasuke was absorbed in silence.

Once they were alone together, walking the dark passageways to her apartment, Sasuke couldn’t remain silent anymore and spat out, "I know what you're thinking."

Sakura peeked over at him as they walked, a look of confusion on her face. Almost like she wasn’t expecting any kind of explanation from him about anything. "You do?"

"You must think I haven't changed at all," he said, looking away from her.

She reached out and gently took his elbow, stopping them and turning him towards her slightly. He pulled back from her but didn’t look away.

"That's not what I think," Sakura whispered to him. "I think you are a hero for saving all of those people."

"But I hurt them, " he said firmly, "I'm still hurting innocent people." She was looking at him softly in response and Sasuke didn’t know why, but he was suddenly angry at her for it. Was she still trying to justify his actions in her mind? Why was it so hard for her to hate him?

"You are being too hard on yourself," she offered kindly, touching his elbow again reassuringly. "You've changed. What you did was for the best."

She began walking again, but Sasuke dropped the yellow bag at his feet and quickly grabbed her sleeve, keeping her from moving. "I can't let you walk away thinking good of me. I was angry when I fought them. Angry with Oyashiro En and all the other ninja who had put them there. I had taken them down in the quickest way that I knew how. I fought children--"

"Sasuke," she said seriously, picking her bag off the ground and slipping the handle in the crook of her arm. "Before I ever was a medical ninja, I was your teammate. By healing them, I could recognize you in their injuries from the very beginning, but I was surprised not because I learned that you had done this, but surprised because of how careful you were with them when I know how hard that must have been while facing them all."

Sasuke scowled at her. "That's not an excuse."

Sakura looked up at the sky as a faint light suddenly fell on them, and Sasuke followed her gaze. The moon was peeking out between two dark silvery clouds. He looked back down at her, staring at her as she watched the moon. Her face and hair lit up for a moment and she offered him a small smile in reply. "I'm not someone to offer advice, but sometimes you have to hurt people in order to do what's best for them. It's a part of being a shinobi. I'm sure Itachi would agree. I think he would be proud of you, Sasuke."

Sasuke's eyes grew wide at the mention of his brother's name. Did she mean him? Itachi had sacrificed everything, even his own happiness, in order to protect the village. He had killed their family and abandoned Sasuke. Is this what she meant?

Her voice interrupted his thoughts as she said, "Let's forget the past. Let's learn from our mistakes and grow from them. I'm going to work towards becoming a stronger medic ninja for the village and you can work towards being the best shinobi that you can be. Can we do that together?"

Sasuke held her gaze, scowl remaining fixed on his face. The best shinobi that he could ever be, huh? Sasuke didn’t know if that was a possibility, but he would try. He would do what was best for the village and the people he cared deeply about. Sasuke didn’t answer her but when Sakura tugged on his sleeve, he followed her.

. . . . . . . .

They spent the rest of the walk in silence. Sakura didn’t release Sasuke's sleeve and he didn’t pull away. It was a fragile moment, a moment that Sakura was afraid would break if she spoke or breathed too hard. Sasuke's right hand swung at his side, sleeve caught barely in her fingers. Sakura wanted desperately to grab his fingers but she knew that would be crossing the line of whatever they had between them.

Whenever they reached the door, Sakura released Sasuke's sleeve and walked in first, setting down her bag. "I'll make you some tea, if you'd like. Or if you're too tired--"

"Sakura," came Sasuke’s emotionless voice from outside the door. Sakura turned and realized that he didn’t follow her in and her stomach lurched suddenly. Sakura walked back outside and looked up at him, worry settling heavily in her heart.

"What's wrong?" she asked, trying to reach for his sleeve again. He pulled back this time and instead slowly placed his hand in his cloak and revealed something small. Sasuke held it out to her without looking at her, and Sakura took what she recognized to be the key she had given him. Was he really giving it back to her? Did this mean he really leaving?

"We both know I can’t stay here," Sasuke said, looking away from her. “My answer is no.”

Sakura stared down at the key in her hand, and realized for the first time that Sasuke was saying goodbye. Sasuke wasn’t just saying no to coming in. He was distancing himself. He was telling her no. Tears sprung to her eyes as she looked down at the ridiculous key.

"No to what, Sasuke?" she whispered, as he made to turn away from her. Without a care, she walked in front of him, placing a palm on his chest. "No to what?"

"No to everything," he said, finally meeting her eyes, confirming her thoughts.

"I thought that we were growing closer; I thought that we could try--" Sakura said desperately, trying to understand why he would do this. Why couldn't he just let her into his heart? After everything they had been through together, why did he not care for her in the same way that she cared for him?"

"The most we will ever be is friends, Sakura, and that's all," he replied, and Sakura searched his features for any signs that would betray his words but his face remained perfectly stoic and firm. His dark onyx eyes did not waver.

"I've already told you. I can't be the man you want me to be. I have a mission, a duty to protect this village, and so do you. You said it earlier; we can work towards our goals and become better shinobi for our village," Sasuke said plainly, and Sakura felt shocked at how he was using her own words against her. 

Tears began to roll down Sakura's cheeks and she wiped furiously at them, begging herself to stop. Be strong, she whispered to her pounding heart. It was a useless plea.

"I love you, Sasuke. I will wait for you. I know that we can make this work if--"

His right hand caught her arm and he pulled her towards him and Sakura froze. Gently, he held her before him, looking down at her and replying, "I want you to stop waiting. I want you to move on with your life. Find someone who can give you the happiness you deserve. That person is never going to be me."

Sasuke released her after a minute, and he turned away from her, showing her his back like he always did. The distance between them grew as he walked away.

Sakura wanted to call out to him. She wanted Sasuke to know that she couldn’t stop waiting for him. That there would never be anyone else. But instead, all she managed was to plead through her tears, "Please don’t say goodbye. Please don’t leave me alone again. You are breaking my heart!"

And then he was in front of her again, so quickly that Sakura had missed it when she blinked. She flinched when Sasuke reached out and placed two heavy fingertips against her forehead. After a second, his fingers moved to support her chin.

"Sometimes you have to hurt people in order to do what's best for them," he whispered in that deep monotone voiced that only belonged to him. When Sakura opened her eyes, he had disappeared into the surrounding darkness.  

[getyouhoylake]

Top 10 Sweetest John Moments With Cynthia (Big Finale!!!!)

Hello everyone! Well, the time has come for me to reveal the NUMBER 1 SWEETEST JOHN MOMENT WITH CYNTHIA! YAY!!!

When looking back at each moment, you’ll notice that all of them emphasize one particular part of John’s character. Moments like number 10 and 7 show us that he could be considerate, while moments like number 6 and 5 show us that he could be very romantic. Moment number 9 showcased his chivalry, and moment number 2 is a true example of his dedication and loyalty for another person, and so on and so forth. All these characteristics and acts that he did for Cynthia, are all done in a very tender and sweet manner… But there’s one moment, one single act, that combines all these characteristics and more. Not only do I considerate the sweetest thing that John has ever done for Cynthia, but it’s perhaps the most eye-opening, heartwarming, honest, and passionate thing he has ever done for anyone….

Ladies and gentlemen……I give you……

Number 1: John’s First Love Letter aka I Love You Like Guitars

Yeah, I imagine everyone saw this moment coming from miles away. Forgive my predictability. But who cares!!! I LOVE this letter. I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT! I LLLLOOOVVVEEE IT!!! This is the cutest thing I have EVER read. It’s so adorable! Yes you heard right. ADORABLE!! When you think of John Lennon, you don’t really think of him as adorable (and physical looks don’t count in this case). John gave the impression to many of his fans and even to many of his friends, that he was a tough man, with a very witty sense of humor, and a lovable, if not questionable, form of sarcasm. As he got older, he became known as a intellectual man, who had some very interesting opinions on life, politics, religion, etc. And while you may not agree with his viewpoint about everything, he was fascinating to listen to. But you don’t really see anything in him that would indicate that he was a softy at heart…and that mainly has to do with the fact that John’s early days as a kid growing up in Liverpool were hard.

His father abandoned him when he was 5 years old. His mother was supposedly bipolar, but either way wasn’t capable of taking care of him. He was raised by his Aunt Mimi. Although she loved John, she was a harsh woman, who was better at chastising and scolding John, then showing him tenderness. She hated that he wanted to be a rock n’ roll singer, and showed absolutely no support in his career choice, until many years later. She also treated Cynthia badly, and was furious that John married her. She didn’t even go to the wedding. His uncle was the closest thing he had to a father, but he died when he was just an adolescent. And to make matters worse, at ages 16-17, John was really starting to become very close with his mother. But all that ended when she tragically died from an oncoming, drunk, off-duty policemen, in his car. She was killed on impact…an event that truly shook and broke John’s heart.

With such a childhood, it’s no wonder John was the way he was. The truth is that, even if you love John’s wittiness and spontaneous personality, that was only a part of him. In many ways it was a facade to the true person. Paul has often said in interviews that he believes John was really a scared little boy, underneath the tough exterior. He had undergone so much in his life, that jokes and sarcasm were really a defense mechanism. And whenever conflict crept into his life, he would either shut himself off from it completely, or act like a scumbag in order to feel in control. But deep down, he was a vulnerable and sensitive human being, with the heart of a poet. And thankfully, although it came in rare doses, John would demonstrate his softer side now and then, especially with Cynthia and even with Paul. And this letter is a true testament to that. 

I’m sure many of you know the backstory of the letter, but I’ll enlighten those who don’t know. This letter was written in 1958, and it was a Christmas gift for Cynthia. In it, John basically gushes out all his feelings and emotions to her. Since it’s a little hard to read, here is a transcript of the letter:

Dear Cyn, I love you , I love you I love you I love you I love you I love u I lllllove U I love you Like Mad I do I do love you YES YES YES I do love you CYN you I love I love you Cynthia Powell John Winston love C.Powell Cynthia Cynthia Cynthia I love you I love you I love you forever and ever isn’t it great? I love you like Guitars I love you like anything lovely lovely lovely lovely Cyn I love lovely Cynthia Cynthia I love you. You are Wonderful I adore you I want you I need you. I need you don’t go I love You Happy Christmas Merry Chrimbo I love you I love you I love you Cynthia Cyn Cyn Cyn Cyn Cyn Cyn Cyn is loved by John John John John John I love you. Love John

I can’t help it. Every time I read this letter, I find myself smiling, laughing, and blushing all at once. Can you imagine how Cynthia must have responded when she first received this letter? And yes, it’s very corny, and very cheesy, and all it really says is “I love you” over and over again. But come on guys, you know how hard it is for some people to say those three words? It takes guts to tell people how you really feel about them. Your liable to make yourself look like an idiot or be sourly turned down. For John to be so willingly open, is a rarity and even an act of bravery on his part. And John isn’t just stating his love here, he’s PROCLAIMING it. It’s almost like he was screaming and shouting out the words as he wrote it, in a Helga Petaki sort of way (Hey Arnold reference). And he’s not just saying he loves her. He ADORES her. He practically pleads to her to never leave him. AND…he loves her like guitars. For John to say that he loves Cynthia like he does his guitars, is the highest compliment he can give her. Also, I really love that little part where he says “I love you forever and ever isn’t it great”!! It’s so cute and funny, and you can here the overwhelming joy in his voice. You can feel his earnestness. This is a young man who has fallen so desperately in love with a girl, that he is pouring out his heart, practically making himself look like a fool, just to show her how crazy he is for her.

Also, the illustrations that he drew of himself and Cynthia are just beautiful! I mean, he literally took the time to draw TWO pictures of them staring into each others eyes and holding one another. This didn’t need to have so much effort, but he gives her a five page letter, filled with doodles and everything! There’s only one word to describe this letter, and that is “darling”. It’s absolutely darling!

It’s been said that John could truly express himself in his writing/lyrics, and I think this love letter to Cynthia is the pinnacle of his sincerity and honesty. It’s such a bold and passionate declaration of his love for her, while also showcasing his vulnerability and utter affection. And although he wrote countless of other letters to her throughout their ten years together, all very lovely and beautiful, none of them will ever be quiet as special as this one. It’s raw, it’s intense, it’s pure passion, it’s mushy in all the right ways, and I love, love, LOVE IT!!! It’s by far the sweetest thing John has ever done for not only Cynthia, but for anyone. What else can I say but, “John Winston love C.Powell”!!!

And there you have it! That’s my list for the top 10 sweetest John moments with Cynthia. I truly enjoyed making this list, and I also enjoyed everyone’s response and feedback for these moments as well. It’s nice to know that despite all these years, these stories and memories live on in some way, shape, and form. And hopefully by making this countdown, I have not only helped you guys appreciate John and Cynthia’s relationship more, but also enlighten your knowledge about a couple I think is worth knowing and remembering. So until next time, God bless and thank you all very much!

(Quick note: the above illustration is another piece of fanart by greengal14, from deviant art. I thought it was a perfect match for this discussion :-))

[pitubea1910]

Fresh Start - Part 4

Pairing: Barry Allen x Reader

Featuring: Cisco Ramon and Caitlin Snow

Words: 1752

Warnings: none

Tags: @onceuponateenpanwolfian @moonlightbae14 @gothesimplethingsinlife @jade-cheshire @writingsofagirlintomanyfandoms

Request: none

Notes: this is not the gif I wanted to use but the internet connection at home is the absolute worst and this is the first one that I could use.

PART 1  /  PART 2  /  PART 3  /  PART 5  /  PART 6  /  PART 7  /  PART 8  /  PART 9

Waking up to meet up with Barry next day was one of the hardest thing you had ever done. You were so tired after going to sleep late at night. Not even your morning shower helped. At least, you were going to have a coffee with him that would help you to stay awake. And luckily for you, Jitters was close to your apartment; otherwise, you would have been late for sure.

When you first walked in, you looked around trying to spot Barry but he still wasn’t there so you ordered a coffee and find a table close to the door so he would see you when he came in. You took out your laptop and started writing down the things you wanted to ask him about.

“Sorry I’m late!” You looked up from the screen when you heard his voice.

You smiled at him and told him not to worry before he went to order himself a cup of coffee. You couldn’t help but stare while he wasn’t looking. He was wearing a red t-shirt with a jacket over it, jeans and black convers. He really looked fit but he didn’t look like the kind of guy who used to go to the gym. His hair had a beautiful light brown hair and was a complete and adorable mess.

“Something wrong?” He asked suddenly sitting in front of you.

It was then when you realized that you had been staring at him the whole time, completely lost in your own thoughts. When he sat, you felt your cheeks turning red as he smiled at you. What on earth was wrong with you? You were (Y/N) Queen for fuck’s sake, you didn’t blush just because a cute guy smiled at you.

“No, sorry” you said after a moment. “I was just thinking” you shrugged.

“About?” He asked with a smirk as he placed the mug down. You raised an eyebrow at him before smirking as well. So he did want to play this game.

“The article” you said casually, making him laugh.

“Sure, the article” he nodded. “So…what do you want to know?” He asked.

“First, I’ve seen that the first metahuman Central City has ever seen is The Flash” you started talking. He nodded slowly as he focused his whole attention on you which made you feel nervous but you forced yourself to focus on the subject. “And that was like 2 years ago?”

“Yeah, two and a half” he shrugged.

“Ok, and after him more and more came up. Is it related to the particle accelerator Harrison Wells tried to make work?” You asked.

“Yes, it is” he sighed looking down at his coffee. “Actually, that explosion was the one that caused the apparition of metahumans” he explained.

“How?” You asked with a frown.

“When the accelerator exploded, it released some kind of… ‘particles cloud’ that affected some people in different ways, changing their DNA so they can do things humans can’t normally do like…controlling the weather, run faster and so on”

“But why did that ‘cloud’ affect some people and some other are normal?” You asked.

“The affected people has what we call the ‘metagen’” he explained. You nodded as you typed everything. “When those particles and that gen came into contact, their DNA changed and so did they” he shrugged.

“I see…” you frowned looking at him again. “Is there anyway to know if someone is a metahuman just by looking at them?” You asked.

“It depends on the way their DNA changed. But almost none of them experienced a physical change” he shrugged. “The Flash himself could he here right now and you wouldn’t even know” he smirked.

“Interesting” you chuckled. “So…”

Suddenly you stopped talking as everyone became silence around you. The only thing you could hear was the TV where you could see a woman outside a bank, surrounded by the police. It looked like a robbery but suddenly the woman screamed and the signal was lost.

“What was that?” You asked turning to look at Barry again but he was gone. “Barry?”

You looked around in case he had gone closer to the TV but he was nowhere in the coffee shop. He had literally disappeared, leaving you alone and with an unfinished article in front of you. Too much for the nice guy. With an angry sigh, you closed the laptop and finished your coffee. You had classes to attend.

On the other side of the city, Barry arrived at STAR Labs an hour later. He had tried to fight the Black Siren but her scream had been too much for him and he was forced to go back to the labs.

“How did she even come here?” He asked walking into the cortex.

“We don’t know man” Cisco said while he and Caitlin were typing on the computer as fast as they could.

“She’s from Earth-2 so it should be through some breach” Barry said crossing his arms.

“And we don’t know about many people who can open breaches” Cisco mumbled. “Gypsy” he added looking up from his computer.

“You think so?” Caitlin asked.

“It doesn’t make sense” Barry sighed running a hand through his hair. “Gypsy doesn’t have any reason to come here”

“Unless she’s after someone” Cisco pointed out.

“Which I am” they all turned around to see Gypsy coming out of a breach that disappeared the moment she stepped into the room.

You spent the rest of the day in a bad mood. Your interview was going perfect, Barry was being so sweet and helpful and the article was going to be amazing. And the he just left, without even saying goodbye or anything and of course he didn’t even try to reach out to you.

Everyone around you was talking about the attack at the bank and you heard them talking about a ‘Black Siren’ so you imagined that was the name of the metahuman you saw on TV. Later on, you finally found some info on internet that said that the Black Siren was able to scream at such potency that would hurt the human brain. Wow. Why most of the metas choose the dark side? Wouldn’t it be easier be like The Flash and help people?

After your classes, you decided to stay at the library to keep on working on your article. Since it looked like Barry wasn’t going to be much of a help now, you decided to talk about The Flash on your article. Luckily for you, finding information about him and his ‘adventures’ was quite easy. The whole city loved him so there were a lot of blogs and pages dedicated to him. It surprised you to see that there was a ‘Flash Day’ and a special coffee at Jitters with his name.

“The Green Arrow could try this” you chuckled to yourself.

It was weird that both cities had someone looking after them but the way the citizens saw both heroes was completely different. Many people in Star City was afraid of the vigilante, while people in Central City literally loved The Flash. For you, both of them were heroes. Maybe the Green Arrow just operated during night and his methods were questionable, but he was just trying to save his city, just like The Flash was doing with his own.

An hour later, you had enough information to write the whole article so, since you were tired, you decided to wrap it up at home. You picked up your things and went straight to the parking lot as you looked for your car keys in your bag.

“(Y/N)!” You heard your name being called so you stopped and looked around to find Barry hurrying over you.

For a moment, you felt happy to see him, even relieved that he was alright after he left like that. But then, anger came back. He had left you after he had promised he would help you.

“What are you doing here?” You asked raising an eyebrow.

“I came to apologize” he said.

“Too late” you said walking to your car.

“Wait! Let me help you” he said following you.

“Too late” you repeated. “I finished the article and I don’t even know why I’m talking to you!” You exclaimed turning to look at him. “You literally disappeared when you promised you would help me. Without even saying goodbye or anything” you frowned.

“I really am sorry. I swear. I got a call from the CCPD about the meta-attack and I had to leave” he explained.

“And there was no time to say ‘(Y/N) I’m sorry, I have to go to work. Can we do this later?’ Was that too hard to do?” You asked.

“I know, I know, I screwed up and I’m really sorry” he said. “Please, forgive me” he said putting both of his hands together under his chin.

It was hard to stay mad at him when he looked so damn adorable and when you thought he had gone all the way there just to apologize.

“Look Barry” you sighed. “It’s ok. I finished the article so forget about it” you shrugged.

“Let me make it up to you” he said with a small smile. “Big Belly Burger? Tomorrow night?” He suggested.

“Is that a date?” You asked with a smile.

“Only if you want it to be” he replied biting his lip.

You laughed a little and looked away in an attempt to cover your blushed cheeks. A date with Barry sounded like a perfect plan for a Thursday night actually, especially because you didn’t have classes on Friday. After a few moments, you looked back at him.

“Ok fine” you said with a bigger smile.

“Yes!” he said clapping once which made you laugh. “I’ll see you tomorrow at Jitters at 7” he said.

“Jitters? Aren’t we going to the Big Belly Burger?” You asked raising an eyebrow.

“You’re new in town. I guess I’ll have to show you around” he winked at you. “See you tomorrow then” he said leaning in to plant a small kiss on your cheek that left you with a stupid smile on your face while he turned around to leave.

“Wait! How did you come? I can drive you back” you offered.

“Don’t worry. I took the bus” he smiled.

You just stood there watching him walk away towards the bus stop. Then you realized you were standing in the middle of a parking lot so you shook your head, focused and went to your car. Maybe you liked this guy. At least a bit. Otherwise, you wouldn’t even give him another chance.

[comicteaparty]

April 29th-May 5th, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from April 29th, 2019 to May 5th, 2019.  The chat focused on Catcha by Anko.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Week Long Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Catcha by Anko~! (http://catcha.smackjeeves.com/)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Remember, though, that while we allow constructive criticism, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic. Below you will find four questions to get you started on the discussion. However, a new question will be posted and pinned everyday (between 12:01AM and 6AM PDT), so keep checking back for more! You have until May 5th to tell us all your wonderful thoughts! With that established, let’s get going on the reading and the chatting!

QUESTION 1. What has been your favorite scene in the comic so far? What specifically did you like about it?

QUESTION 2. Do you feel that Myouki and Yumi will be able to get along in the long run? What sort of obstacles in their relationship do you expect? What sorts of things might bring them together?

keii4ii

1. I have two picks for this one! Myouki transforming, even though I was expecting it from the synopsis, was a big 'ooh yesss' moment. Magical cat transformation is inherently exciting! Plus, it felt like a gear shifting moment for the story. Second one isn't really a scene, but the one panel where you see the framed picture of Yumi and her mom(?). While it's a fairly normal thing to have, it still shows that her parents are real, that her relationship with them isn't just a plot device. It also made me wonder if there's something special about that relationship that we will be learning in the comic later on.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 3. At the moment, who is your favorite character? What about that character earns them this favor?

QUESTION 4. Why do you think that Yumi is so determined to save the cafe? Ultimately, do you feel that she will succeed? How might her goals change as she continues to pursue her dream?

ankoart

@keii4ii Myouki transforming was something I was looking forward to drawing for so long after I started Catcha! It's still one of my favorite scenes. I'm really glad you're picking up some of the smaller details as well! Family is important to Yumi for sure!

RebelVampire

1) my favorite scene, or i guess more the panel, is where they shake hands. i really adore that hesitation cause i think it helps visually kind of express how theres going to be struggles but theres also hope to be had that theyll manage to work together. so emotionally i think it just really works for the moment and the entire panel flow. 2) In the long run, yes I think the two will find common ground. But emphasis on long cause I think it's gonna be a while. I think the biggest obstacle for their relationship is just how out of touch Myouki might be with humanity. Cause I feel hes not going to understand why humans do the way humans do. Like why theyre staring at their phones all the time or why they dont worship at shrines like they used to or something. and i feel this is gonna cause him to butt heads and make yumi have to cover with customers, leading to many long structures and them having to teach each other about themselves and about how they can make the world work for them. as for bringing them together, cats. definitely cats cause at least thats the one common ground they can really share. 3) Myouki for the shallow reason hes a cat and has two colored hair. Two things I like. Hes also grump boy which I also like. 4) From the impression I got, I assume Yumi has fond memories of someone who probably died or something tied to that cafe. And it's kind of like her last place to remember them by. Or said person also believed in her or something like that. I think there's also just a little bit of stubbornness in there too cause she already made the bet. So it's kind of too late to back out now without taking an ego punch. I think she will succeed, but I think her goals will shift slightly in perspective. Right now I feel shes mostly about saving the business, but when it becomes not about saving the business I think shell really dedicate herself to making a true place for cats. Like giving them a home without it just being a gimmick.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 5. What has been your favorite illustration in the comic so far? What specifically about it do you like?

QUESTION 6. Who exactly is the person who introduced Myouki and Yumi? What is her end game in helping Myouki to not be forgotten? What do you see her role in the story being later on?

RebelVampire

5) actually my favorite illustration is the most recent page: http://catcha.smackjeeves.com/comics/2782734/page-18/ theres a great level of precision and detail in the cat related objects that i really appreciate, and you know 1000% what they are at first glance. I also enjoy the overal page composition cause it really has this nice montage feel that really helps showcase the changes that are going on with the cafe and how they really do create a nice atmosphere like is the characters' goals. 6) I assume she is some higher up in the food chain deity that is responsible for Myouki in some way. Possibly also a cat cause her eyes were kind of cat like. But going on this wavelength of course she doesnt want myouki to be forgotten cause thats how you get demoted. i do think shell appear later on to check up on them and give some sort of assessment. which will cause conflict between myouki and yumi as they try to impress but havent worked out all their relationship kinks yet.

keii4ii

5) There's a lot to like throughout the comic. I appreciate the creator doesn't shy away from drawing the environments, showing unusual angles (even for non-dramatic moments -- e.g. bottom left panel here http://catcha.smackjeeves.com/comics/2737479/page-25/ ). If I had to pick one..... I'd go with this one. http://catcha.smackjeeves.com/comics/2776781/page-17/ The environment is very simple and understated, yet it gives a sense of a fully 3-dimensional space. I also like the contrast between the busy hatching vs the simplicity of the rest of the image!

Delphina

Just caught up with this one, such a cute story so far!

Desnik

5. I liked this. I enjoy small, organic moments and the kittens are a fun bonus. http://catcha.smackjeeves.com/comics/2727534/page-06/

Delphina

My favorite scene in the comic so far is Yumi going out and feeding the cats. She just looks so happy and it's so sweet! http://catcha.smackjeeves.com/comics/2727534/page-06/

keii4ii

Jinx!

Delphina

Hahahaha

It was KITTTEN O'CLOCK apparently!

Myouki definitely seems to have a big chip on his shoulder and I think a lot of their obstacles are going to be him learning to be tolerant and understanding (especially in a customer service context), and Yumi being veeeerrryyy patient with him. Beyond the typical café trials of running a business and literal cat-herding, I would love to see more gods or supernatural/dangerous things happen because of Myouki's involvement and how Yumi rises to the challenge of handling that (or brings her human perspective in, a la Natsume Yuujinchou).

I think my favorite character so far is the Mystery White-Haired Lady. She seems kind but also mischievous, and I want to know what kind of relationship she has with a god to tease him like that. Like Rebel said, I think she's higher up in the deity foodchain and could either be looking out for Myouki OR wanting him to fail spectacularly. But she seems to appreciate Yumi so I'm leaning toward a more kindly sort.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 7. Which characters do you enjoy seeing interact the most? What about their dynamic interests you?

QUESTION 8. What do you think Myouki’s backstory is? Why is Myouki so out of touch with the human world to the point he’s no longer believed in? Do you think he will come to accept humans by the end of the story?

ankoart

Author swooping in to let you all know I'm SUPER excited to read your thoughts, and my heart is so full right now! @RebelVampire I'm never quite confident in if I'm getting feelings across when I try and slow down scenes with moments of hesitation and such, so I'm really happy to hear that the handshake read clearly and you enjoyed it! Haha, Myouki would certainly be baffled by a lot of modern human quirks, like people staring at cellphones. Cats are definitely always the answer though! (>w<) I'm really happy you like Myouki. I love him for shallow reasons too, haha! Hummmm, I gotta say, you seem to understand Yumi really well! <3 The page you choose as a favorite illustration is one I put so much care into, so I'm really happy! I know there's not much that actually happens in that page, but I'm trying really hard to create a sense of space and atmosphere in Catcha! It means so much to know that's appreciated! And oh ho ho, your guesses over the mysterious woman who visits the cafe got me grinning. She's gonna keep everyone guessing for awhile soon as to who she is!

@keii4ii Oh man, I had so much fun with that picture of Myouki. It's such a simple little illustration, so I wanted to add lots of delicate details when inking it to add more depth!

@Desnik and @Delphina That page was such a fun excuse to feature some kittens at last! I felt kind of guilty before then about what a lack of cats there were, lol.

@Delphina Myouki being a deity will certainly add another flavor of challenges to their partnership! (Yumi already had bitten off more than she could chew with trying to start up her own business, but now she's got a cranky deity to please on top of everything else!) I'm so happy someone likes ~ Mystery Lady ~ ! She's really fun to write, and I feel like she hasn't had much opportunity to shine yet. I hope you look forward to more scenes with her~!

RebelVampire

QUESTION 9. What sorts of art or story details have you noticed in the way the comic is crafted that you think deserves attention?

QUESTION 10. How do you think Yumi will get along with the cats that Myouki winds up bringing? Will she be able to care for them all? Additionally, what sorts of personalities do you think the cats might have?

RebelVampire

7) Yumi and the mystery lady atm. Mystery lady is just so weird so it's kind of hard to anticipate where she's gonna go in a convo. So it makes their interactions kind of compelling. I also feel like mystery lady offers a great way to see into other side of Yumi that arent immediately present just cause of how she is. 8) I feel like Myouki probably got hurt by some humans and then it snowballed. So basically he cut off contact, and because he wasnt contacting humans as much they just went "cat god? maybe on the internet." not to mention myouki doesnt seem to be the type to like change, so aas the times progressed i feel like he just naturally remained stubborn and complained that the humans were changing and no longer respectful. basically old guy stuff. but eventually i do think he will accept humans again when he learns to open his heart. also when he learns how popular cats are on the internet. 9) the detail i want to appreciate is the cat coat patterns. They look very realistic to actual cats, and i love how theyre all varied. You'd be surprised how many ppl just make plain colored cats (which is fine cause i love all cats but i digress). Thus, I can appreciate the thought put in to making sure the cats weve seen are varied in appearance. 10) I think Yumi will do fine but i also would kind of like to see her interact with a cat that is legit the biggest asshole. And see her challenge herself with patience with trying to let the cat warm up to her rather than forcing herself on the cat. I think at some point the care might wind up jeapordized too cause they can only take in so many cats and...yeah, i dont think theyll put a hard limit on everything at first until they realize how much work is involved. as for cat personalities, besides the one i mentioned i also hope theres the cat who just sits everywhere theyre not supposed to be musing how if it fits, it sits.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 11. What do you think are this particular comic’s strengths? What do you think makes this comic unique? Please elaborate.

QUESTION 12. What sorts of obstacles do you think Yumi will face business wise when it comes to running a cat cafe? Will the gimmick and renovation be enough, or will Yumi still have other challenges ahead of her?

keii4ii

12) I was actually mildly surprised that she had the funds to buy all those things for the cats? (Though I guess second hand market and thrift shopping may have been involved!) Funding can be a problem, possibly vet bills in the future. I wonder if Myouki has any helpful powers in the cat health department.

Kabocha

“1. What has been your favorite scene in the comic so far? What specifically did you like about it?” http://catcha.smackjeeves.com/comics/2734702/page-20/ At first, I really thought that this was going to go... differently (because I didn't read the synopsis), and that this was gonna end up being a tale where the main character gets turned into a cat. I am admittedly quite pleasantly surprised by the fact that... It's not that. I'm 100% into the whole cat cafe idea~ “2. Do you feel that Myouki and Yumi will be able to get along in the long run? What sort of obstacles in their relationship do you expect? What sorts of things might bring them together?” Ahahahaha. Grudgingly, yes, I think. Myouki's a very rare type of cat, isn't he... I think, if anything, we're going to see him being aloof... continually. There's going to be a lot of stress, and maybe eventually Myouki'll have to understand that he can't just be a jerk if he wants to have his shrine...

“3. At the moment, who is your favorite character? What about that character earns them this favor?” Myouki. He's a cat. I like cats. It's pretty simple. “4. Why do you think that Yumi is so determined to save the cafe? Ultimately, do you feel that she will succeed? How might her goals change as she continues to pursue her dream?” Admittedly, I'm not sure I have enough information to go off of to answer this question! This comic is very cute, but it's challenging to come up with theories that I can back up with evidence quite yet... But I would assume that Yumi's interested in keeping the cafe because it was in her family for a while. Probably a grandparent owned it, and it was the place of many nostalgic memories? Hmmm.

Kabocha

“5. What has been your favorite illustration in the comic so far? What specifically about it do you like?” Hmmm, that's hard to say! I think I actually like the latest page a bit -- the middle shot with the cat supplies has a good sense of depth and business. You get a good feel for how much work has been going into prepping the space. http://catcha.smackjeeves.com/comics/2782734/page-18/ “6. Who exactly is the person who introduced Myouki and Yumi? What is her end game in helping Myouki to not be forgotten? What do you see her role in the story being later on?” If she's not Myouki's mother, she's another kami with her own interests in seeing Myouki succeed... Maybe she's from Tashirojima. “7. Which characters do you enjoy seeing interact the most? What about their dynamic interests you?” I'm actually the most curious about Yumi and our strange disappearing magical lady. I'm just curious to see how that appears... “8. What do you think Myouki’s backstory is? Why is Myouki so out of touch with the human world to the point he’s no longer believed in? Do you think he will come to accept humans by the end of the story?” Myouki... Hm. I feel like he might just be a rural kami or something -- from an area that used to have people, but not so much anymore? And maybe his shrine was out of the way. I think he's just lonely, honestly. Maybe he sees the kami in town who have these huge shrines and is just like T_T about it.

“9. What sorts of art or story details have you noticed in the way the comic is crafted that you think deserves attention?” I actually really appreciate the attention to Myouki's hakama. Thank you for paying attention to that! “10. How do you think Yumi will get along with the cats that Myouki winds up bringing? Will she be able to care for them all? Additionally, what sorts of personalities do you think the cats might have?” Myouki's gonna bring a bunch of different cats, probably more than a few need some sort of treatment from the vet... They are the cats he needs to get homes, I'm sure. I, too, want to see her handle the biggest asshole of a cat, like Rebel does. :'D “11. What do you think are this particular comic’s strengths? What do you think makes this comic unique? Please elaborate.” The screentones are well done, I think. It gives me a nostalgic sort of feeling... Kinda like some of the webcomics I used to read back in the day. It's a very nice feeling, honestly. “12. What sorts of obstacles do you think Yumi will face business wise when it comes to running a cat cafe? Will the gimmick and renovation be enough, or will Yumi still have other challenges ahead of her?” ...Health inspections and food regulations. There's sure to be a licensing issue or something... bureaucracy!!!

Kabocha

I enjoy the overall premise of this comic though... It really makes me wanna go to a cat cafe for real

RebelVampire

QUESTION 13. What are you most looking forward to in the comic? Also, do you have any final thoughts to share overall?

QUESTION 14. What role might Yumi’s friend Mayu have to play in the course of the story? What other sorts of characters do you think we might meet given the premise?

RebelVampire

11) i think the comic's strengths are the attention to detail on the cat related objects. like not just the cats themselves, but the water fountain, the scratching post, etc. it really helps sell the cat aspect of owning a cat cafe and ya, as a cat lover just immediately attracts me as i scream yaay cats. 12) I agree with Kabo that food regulations is gonna be a huge one. And there's probably also other things to consider. Like some cat cafes let ppl adopt the cats from there to give them homes, but that comes with its own legal requirements and such. i also agree with keii that vet bills are gonna factor in too as a business expense. especially if myouki is bringing in strays cause at the very least those strays should probably be neutered and spayed. but the third option im going to add is marketing. cause you can have the best gimmick in all the world, but if you dont work out you marketing plan youre just going to wind up with 0 customers since theres no brand awareness. 13) im just most looking forward to the cafes opening day right now just to see which of these theorized issues is a thing and which arent. and also just to see whether its a big success or a huge failure. cause like i said, marketing is a necessary thing. 14) I think Mayu is going to be a force of support for Yumi, but I also think shes going to be sort of a representation of what can happen to relationships when you focus too much on business and dont find a good life work balance. down the line of course as yumi buries herself more and more into work. as for other characters, i do kind of hope we might meet a grumpy health inspector who hates cats and is just flat out awful to myouki cause that sounds like a challenge of character growth

Kabocha

YEAH. And then Myouki has to learn how to be nice to people in order to get what he wants/needs out of the system... That would honestly be kinda funny.

As far as question 13 -- I think I look forward to seeing all of the cats that show up. :D 14. Mayu... well. I don't know. Maybe eventually she will do something like... help in the cafe? Maybe she ends up being allergic to cats and can't help out. You know, one thing they do around here is they have the cafe part of the cat cafes separate from the... cat area. So you get your food and drinks made, and then you go join the cats afterward, knowing that not all cats are super clean.

Delphina

I could see Myouki being EXCEPTIONALLY OFFENDED that humans don't think cats are clean

Kabocha

Oh, of course he would be! XD "What do you mean, you don't want my friend here dipping his paw in your tea? He cleaned up after the litter box!"

If these cats are anything like mine, it'd be like "NOPE YOUR DRINK NOW, CAT"

Delphina

As far as strengths, I really love the gentle shoujo manga style with the screentoning, it definitely puts me in the frame of mind as to what genre of story to expect and I can tell that's a big inspiration here. I'm not sure what the artist is using to make this or if she's working with a pressure sensitive stylus, but I can see hints of spot blacks and line weight variation on different panels creeping in http://catcha.smackjeeves.com/comics/2749987/page-13/ and I'd really love to see more done in that direction, because I think line thickness and variation is pretty important when you're working in greyscale.

ankoart

Ahhh, I've been intending to add some responses to all the wonderful discussions going on here, but was having some computer issues over the weekend! Finally got that figured out so here I go~!

ankoart

@RebelVampire -I'm never sure which characters people are going to respond to, so I'm really happy to hear people are intrigued by the mystery customer. I can't wait to hit a chapter where she gets to return and shine! -You understand Myouki really well too! -I've had lots of fun looking up different cat breeds to add variation to the cats that will be joining the cafe. I agree that all cats are great, but it's also nice to stray away from the ones you usually see. -Poor Yumi already has Myouki to deal with, but who knows, there may be a cat out there that causes her even more grief! -Designing all the cat themed things has been so fun! It's basically just an excuse for me to design things I wish I owned, lol -There's def a LOT more that goes into running a cafe than just showing up to work, and I'm glad people recognize that! Yumi does her research and prepares best she can, but this is new territory and she's on a time limit. Bounds to be a few hiccups as things progress! At least one of the things you mentioned will be popping up within the next couple of chapters! -Yumi's nervous and anxious about opening day too! -Mayu and Yumi's relationship has definitely shifted since they graduated high school. The current story doesn't highlight much of that yet, but we may get more notes about some of Yumi's friends as things continue... <3 -A grumpy health inspector would be hilarious!

keii4ii

“It's basically just an excuse for me to design things I wish I owned, lol” Are you secretly a cat

ankoart

@keii4ii -Funding is huge issue, and the cafe was losing profits when the story started! Yumi would never have been able to do something like this without help. The mysterious customer is helping her pay for this, but that's only mentioned briefly here: http://catcha.smackjeeves.com/comics/2735609/page-21/

lol, I'm a lover of cats (>w<)

Also I enjoy spoiling my own kitty

ankoart

@Kabocha -Oh man Yumi getting turned into a cat would be fun though. She'd probably be adorable! -Yumi and Myouki need a get-along sweater, haha. At least Yumi is trying her best. -Y'all are boosting Myouki's ego way too much, lol. He's going to feel honored to be so many people's favorite. -The cafe is def a source of fond memories for Yumi. Sometimes it's hard to let go of the past. Like moving out of your home, and seeing it turn into somewhere you don't even recognize anymore. It's kind of a sick feeling. Yumi's not ready for that. -Gosh I'm so happy people like the latest page. There's a lot of panels coming up where I poured in hours of work just to try and level up the art in the comic! -TASHIROJIMA! It' a dream of mine to visit there someday, haha. -Clearly I need to bring back our mystery lady sooner rather than later~ her interactions with Yumi are really fun. -I think he's just lonely, honestly Aww, this pulled on my heartstrings. Myouki's definitely struggling with the grief of being forgotten by humanity right now. -Thank you for noticing Myouki's hakama! Not many people know about them I think, haha. I've always wanted to own or wear one. (Maybe I should make purchasing one a goal for this year!) -lol looks like "asshole cat" is gonna need to be a thing! -I feel like I'm failing to use screen tones well lately, but knowing people appreciate them is so encouraging! I'm gonna try and study more techniques and up my game! -Oh the bureaucracy of it all~! -More cats more cats! -Mayu coming to help out in a cafe would certainly be adorable~! We'll see how things go! Also please go to a cat cafe if you can, they are so much fun! And haha, Myouki would get VERY offended if people suggested his cats were too dirty to be in the same area as humans who are eating. Human's are way less clean than cats are.

Kabocha

Hey, as a fellow screentone user, I definitely appreciate when they're used effectively by other folks!

Also, regarding Asshole Cat being a thing -- YES Even if they're a friendly sort of jerk of a cat... You know, the sort of cat who has to lay on your favorite coat as you're getting ready to leave... and put hair all over it... Or, they eat a treat, only to get sick all over the rug you just cleaned OR, the perennial favorite: Knocking stuff off shelves.

ankoart

@Delphina -Myouki will challenge anyone who calls his cats dirty. How dare they! -I'm so happy the shoujo feel carries through! I ink everything by hand using a maru pen. (That's also why there's sometimes spots or grit stuck on the page, haha. So hard to keep it clean!) Right now I've been focusing on getting really thin, delicate lines, so there hasn't been a ton of variation, but I hope once I master that gentle look I can ease back into more variation on line widths!

@Kabocha I used to tone by hand, so getting to play with it digitally is so much fun! But I also sometimes get stumped as to how to approach things, lol. Knocking stuff off shelves is the best asshole cat move, I love it so much.

Kabocha

Oh gosh, I can't imagine toning by hand in this day and age. T_T It's so expensive... plus it's like AAAAAA ALL THAT TIME But it can be a challenge to figure out the right approach. ...Gradients. Gradients are very helpful for this. XD

When in doubt, slap a gradient on it! (don't actually do that, it's bad advice) Regardless, I'm looking forward to seeing where Catcha goes -- it's very cute!!

ankoart

lol it's bad advice but I def am guilty of it!!!

Kabocha

Me toooooo

ankoart

And thank you! Going for that cute factor >w<

Kabocha

As kind of a final word... I wanna tell you, Anko, to keep having fun with this! I think your enthusiasm really shines through, and it's heartwarming. I look forward to seeing what you do in the future with this comic, and any others you choose to work on!

ankoart

Oh my goodness, thank you so much!! This whole chat has been really encouraging, and those words mean so much to me! I want to create something that is just fun and calming to read, and heart-warming for anyone who enjoys it. I'll keeping working hard to achieve that!

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Catcha this week! Please also give a special thank you to Anko for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Catcha, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

Read and Comment: http://catcha.smackjeeves.com/

Anko’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ankoart

Anko’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/AnkosArt

[howellrichard]

14 Sensational Books for Your Summer Reading List (2019 Edition!)

Hiya Gorgeous!

If you’ve been tuning into my weekly Wellness Wednesday live series on Instagram and Facebook, then you know that I recently launched our #CrazySexyBooks club with my friend Sheri Salata’s new book, The Beautiful No (and I also recently shared the next book I’m reading, which is also on this list!). I’ve been having such a blast connecting with our amazing community over our shared love for reading books that make us think, question, laugh out loud, vision, tear up and everything in between.

That’s why I couldn’t be more jazzed to bring you my 2019 summer reading list, hot off the press! It’s got something for everyone… fiction and nonfiction, brand new and classic must-reads. These books touch on everything from environmental issues and the powerful feminist themes behind Mary Magdelene’s gospel, to psychedelics, small business marketing and finance, wellness, and set-your-heart-on-fire inspiration!

But before you dive in, I’ve got a special gift just for you…

My 2019 Summer Reading List

1. Mary Magdalene Revealed by Meggan Watterson

This amazing new book by Meggan Watterson, a Harvard-trained theologian, dear friend and one of my spiritual teachers is my latest pick for our #CrazySexyBooks club. In Meg’s words, Mary’s gospel reveals a radical love at the heart of the Christian story (and for many of us, it’s a story we haven’t heard yet!). I feel that love as I read this beautiful book, and I think you will too. It’s a love that transforms everything—and it’s available to all of us. Add this book to your morning spiritual practice. Your heart will open and your soul will thank you.

Get Mary Magdalene Revealed here!

2. More Than Enough by Elaine Welteroth

We all have so much to learn from Elaine Welteroth, who broke barriers as the youngest Editor in Chief of Teen Vogue and paved the way for it to become the socially conscious publication it is today. I love this quote about the book from another woman I admire, Malala Yousafzai: “More Than Enough is a guide for young people who want to find their voice, a crash course for those who want to challenge the status quo, and an adventure story for all of us.” So whether you’re young in years or young at heart, this one is a must-have for your summer reading list.

Get More Than Enough here.

3. Profit First by Mike Michalowicz

Calling all dreamers, small biz owners and solopreneurs! I didn’t think talking about money could be fun, but Mike Michalowicz has proven me wrong. If talking financials makes your head spin but you want your company to grow (and be profitable!), this one is a must-read. You’ll get practical advice paired with case studies that’ll help put you and your business baby on the path to success.

Get Profit First here.

4. How to Change Your Mind by Michael Pollan

You might know Michael Pollan for his famous food-centric books such as The Omnivore’s Dilemma and In Defense of Food. This time around, his unique brand of skeptical curiosity takes us into the world of psychedelics. Pollan started the research for this book by exploring how some people are using LSD and psilocybin (the active ingredient in psychoactive mushrooms) to treat health challenges like depression, anxiety, PTSD and addiction. In doing so, he discovered a whole world of possibilities for using psychedelics to expand our consciousness, better understand our own minds and transform our fears around dying (especially for cancer patients). If that sounds too trippy to you, I encourage you to keep an open, expansive mind! This book is fascinating.

Get How to Change Your Mind here.

5. Everything is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo

My BFF’s sizzling new book launches on September 10 and I couldn’t be more excited! I’ve been along for the behind-the-scenes ride for an entire year as Marie wrote this glorious gem. I’m devouring the advanced copy now and let me tell you, this brilliant baby is full of spirit-stirring wisdom and life-changing perspective. It’ll fire you up and fill you with hope and the knowledge that it doesn’t matter how many crazy roadblocks threaten to throw you off course, your dream is and always will be figureoutable. I may be biased, but I have a feeling you’ll agree. This masterpiece will definitely be a fall #CrazySexyBooks club pick!

Pre-order Everything is Figureoutable here.

6. A Bright Future by Joshua S. Goldstein and Staffan A. Qvist

I had to share this book because I know how passionate this community is about protecting our planet! The authors unpack how several countries have already replaced fossil fuels with low-carbon energy sources and how the rest of the world could follow in their footsteps to (literally) save the world. This is a compelling, no-nonsense, yet hopeful book that will motivate you to influence change however you can.

Get A Bright Future here.

7. The Beautiful No by Sheri Salata

We just wrapped up chatting about this scrumptious book in our #CrazySexyBooks club, but it’s not too late if you haven’t had a chance to read it yet! Like many of us, Sheri dedicated a big chunk of her life to a career she loved (working with Oprah!). As fulfilling and magical as that was, she found herself wishing for a life she loved just as much. So she left it all and went on a soul pilgrimage. And lucky for us, she shares what she learned and how you can apply it to your own life in this transformative book. I can’t recommend it enough. And my mom agrees!

Get The Beautiful No here.

8. City of Girls by Elizabeth Gilbert

I adore Elizabeth Gilbert and her captivating new release is perfect for this time of year. This instant bestseller is set in the New York City theater world during the 1940s. It’s got love, sex, glamour, adventure and a little dose of danger—what more could you ask for in a yummy beach read? Grab a champagne cocktail and drink in these delicious pages.

Get City of Girls here.

9. From Poop to Gold: The Marketing Magic of the Harmon Brothers by Chris Jones

Team Crazy Sexy and I have been reading this book and absolutely loving it! If you’ve seen the genius ads for brands like Poo-Pourri and ChatBooks, then you know Harmon Brothers! This book takes you behind-the-scenes of these viral ad sensations that have not only cracked up millions of people, but also boosted these companies’ reputations and helped them sell a whole lotta product. If you’re an entrepreneur like me, then you’re always hungry for proven tips about what works and what flops—and this book is loaded with ‘em!

Get From Poop to Gold here.

10. Let Your Fears Make You Fierce by Koya Webb

We’ve been exploring fear and how to make it work for you (instead of against you!) in a couple of our recent Wellness Wednesdays. If those conversations resonated with you, you’re gonna love this book. Koya Webb, holistic health coach and yoga teacher, shares how she’s turned her fear into one of her greatest superpowers—and how you can too with her straightforward tips, breathing and journaling exercises, mantras and more. I met Koya at an event this spring and I instantly loved her. I can’t think of a better way to spend a summer afternoon!

Get Let Your Fears Make You Fierce here.

11. Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb

I love my therapist and think folks can benefit from talking to someone. Unfortunately, there’s a long-standing stigma that going to therapy is somehow a sign of weakness. That’s why I’m so grateful for this wonderful book—we can start to break down the harmful notions our society has about mental health. Lori Gottlieb’s intimate portrait of her experiences as both a clinician and patient pulls back the curtain on the world of talk therapy. It’s funny, eye-opening, thought-provoking and so much more.

Get Maybe You Should Talk to Someone here.

12. Beauty Water by Tori Holmes

If you’ve been following me for a while or hanging out with me on Wellness Wednesday, then you already know how I feel about hydration! It’s one of the most important (yet undervalued) aspects of living a healthy life. Now you can turn your H2O routine into a nourishing self-care ritual with this gorgeous book. It landed on my desk a few months ago and I’m grateful it did. This book is packed with 50 recipes for deliciously quenching elixirs that use ingredients like CBD oil, ashwagandha and lion’s mane. Cheers!

Get Beauty Water here.

Looking for something special to read this summer? These 14 gorgeous books are at the top of my list!

13. Do Less by Kate Northrup

I couldn’t wait to get my hands on this book as soon as my dear friend Kate told me she was writing it. If you’re ready to ditch the damaging belief that your worth is based on your productivity, then I suggest picking up a copy for yourself! Instead of trying to squeeze every last thing into your time, Kate encourages a more minimalist approach to life rooted in mindfulness and presence. These powerful lessons are the soul medicine that our busy, overwhelmed, stressed out world so desperately needs! For more on this topic, check out this fascinating interview with Kate on Jenna Kutcher’s Goal Digger podcast.

Get Do Less here.

14. The Future of Fashion by Tyler Little

I’ve written a couple of articles recently about the environmental, human and animal impacts of fast fashion. If that topic moves you, you’ll really dig this book. It’ll help you understand the problems with the global fashion industry on a deeper level, as well as what innovative people and businesses are doing differently to flip the script. You’ll be inspired and empowered to make sustainable shifts in your own life!

Get The Future of Fashion here.

I can’t wait to hear what you decide to add to your summer reading list! And don’t forget to join me for Wellness Wednesday on Instagram and Facebook. Going live has become one of the things I look forward to every week—I love this special space we’re creating together. In addition to chatting about #CrazySexyBooks, we dish on lots of juicy tips to help you live your healthiest, happiest life. It’s also a chance for us to just connect and get to know each other better… so fun!

You can catch up on past Wellness episodes here and sign up for reminders (so you never miss another one!) here.

Your turn: What books are on your summer reading list?

Peace & bookworm buddies,

The post 14 Sensational Books for Your Summer Reading List (2019 Edition!) appeared first on KrisCarr.com.