Also on dogposting: the other day I took my older cat to the groomer (fur matting) and when we were picking her up we got to see two perfectly fluffy loving pomeranians rush into the arms of their owner. I almost cried.
It’s very soon. Our nunu was a once in a lifetime dog. But with the way everything lined up, I think banana had this black ball of sunshine picked out for us to help us heal. She’s sleeping on my chest, heartbeat against mine. And there is peace and love.
First time this year I think I genuinely had a good time at my parents’ place. Well, it was like 80% pleasant, 20% frustrating, but that’s better than it’s been in years anyway
Oh, and baby brother smiled like a fool and said “it’s the hoodie?!!!” when he opened the present so I got an A+ in older brother ✌🏼
Now that Sammy's been doing better for a while I've started thinking again that it would be a good time to see if I can find a better home for him.
In my logical mind it seems the better choice for each of us, overall. For him, for me, even for Bats. I would sorely miss his incredible over-the-top goofiness and that he so easily is motivated to play with or without toys, and just his personal quirky flavor of endless love and affection, his abundant happiness. Knowing myself, I'll probably even miss the challenges in some way. A very bright light of love would be disappearing from my life, and just thinking about losing it makes me cry. The other thing I'm not looking forward to is that I probably should inform his breeder, and I probably could do without whatever she has to say about it. I'm imagining it wouldn't be something nice necessarily, based on my previous experiences with her (although I'd be happy to be proven wrong about that, it could very well be just my fear of rejection speaking). Still, I think she deserves to know IF I indeed find someone I'd trust him with.
On the other hand. To know him in good hands that can provide more training, more enrichment, better/ easier vet care as he gets even older. All things I do struggle with a lot since my health took a turn for the worse, and which I already did struggle with from the start, albeit much more low key. It would lift a huge responsibility from my shoulders, and maybe grant him the chance of a more fulfilled life in the years he has left. I knew from the start he's not the dog for me, that he requires more energy than I have to give, even though I tried my best to provide him with everything I could give him during our years together. And we definitely did give each other a large amount of great experiences that I wanna say we both don't want to have missed.
But I think I at least should try. I'm thinking of making it a requirement that any interested person will visit us a number of times to spend time with him and do things with him, so I can see if he starts opening up to them at all, and maybe see how they handle him in his not-so-good moments. Ultimately, I would leave that decision for Sammy himself, though, since animals tend to have a good idea about where they need to go themselves. I think he deserves to be given that chance. If it works, it works, and I'd be happy to let him go to a better life. And if it doesn't work, it doesn't, then he stays here for the rest of his life and we'll make it work somehow. However that is, but in some way we'll make it work if it comes to that.