#found this mildly amusing

[veeveepower]

[froggi-mushroom]

It’s been dead silent and all of a sudden I’ve heard my dad yell ‘cunt’ from the kitchen

[noirrelite]

excal with a mouf sounds like a fun time

[buryam-soul]

Wait oh I'm very late to the realization so I'm sure someone else already noticed before but

Welt Yang moved from one AE (Anti-Entropy) to another (Astral Express)

[birlwrites]

hi!!! i'm the person who asked all those questions about emma and heir stuff and a back with more questions! okay so what do you think would actually happen if, for example, regulus did run away with sirius like what happens in a lot of jegulus fics? what do you think would happen, with your atfhv reg? that is, how would he come to the conclusion to run away, and what would happen? you did touch on this a little in stga, but i want to know for atfhv reg.

HMMMMM ok so - i think the central difficulty for atfhv reg is not just coming to the conclusion to run away, but doing it *with* sirius

in stga, regulus and sirius are always each other's #1 ally, so in that case, regulus would either run away with sirius or not at all. like, if he's going to do it, hell yeah he's going to the same place sirius is going to, and sirius isn't going to do it without him

in atfhv, regulus and sirius have been kind of estranged for a while before sirius actually leaves. i think regulus has a lot of confidence in his own ability to adapt AND to play the games his family plays and come out on top. he'd need a hell of a reality check to decide otherwise

this post got. long. normally when i say that, the post is long. but this is easily twice the length of some other posts i have called long. I HAD FUN OK

the other difficult factor is that atfhv reg *does not like* how sirius solved this (i.e. by running away). we'll get into that in ch 41 of ttdl. part of it is the abandonment issues, and another part of it is reg's sense that this was the irresponsible/selfish thing to do. he's not obsessed with duty to the family, but sirius was heir and that meant something to regulus - he doesn't even really see sirius running away as a solution (because of how it impacted him), but just as running away from his problems

so i don't think he'd come to the conclusion to run away of his own accord, which means someone's going to have to convince him, and the only person who a) is capable of doing so and b) would actually give it a go is sirius

for this to work, he'd need some reason to believe regulus might actually go (and not kill james immediately), so let's call it a last-ditch effort to give regulus a lifeline he may or may not want. sirius would need to be pretty persuasive here which is where the death eater ultimatum comes in - their parents give it to sirius, he's not stupid, he knows if he leaves regulus is next up for everything including the death eaters.

regulus as we know him in the prologue (or rather in like. the first half of the prologue. the description of the prologue maybe. ajfslghjdkfd) is kind of...... living in denial about that ultimatum and KNOWS he is but is still holding out hope that it won't come for him now that there's no spare. persuading him to give up that hope would be difficult and it would also need to be QUICK. i think sirius came to the conclusion that he might need to leave during the spring of his fifth year or so and proceeded to bring it up to james, which is how he knows for sure that he has this viable option, and i think he would then need to start talking to regulus about it..... pretty much ASAP?

and that would be difficult for sirius. genuinely, sincerely apologizing is not something that comes easily to either of them, and sirius has absolutely no shot at persuading regulus to listen to him unless he does it. (regulus owes sirius an apology in a similar vein but he's repressing that)

the next hard part would be persuading regulus that not only is there a risk of their parents telling them to join the death eaters, but it's an *imminent* risk. at this point, neither of them are of age, they've both got a couple years left at hogwarts. regulus would question what use voldemort would even have for either of them at this point, answer his own question with 'political clout because we're blacks in the main branch,' and then question how much danger they'd *really* be in - getting either of them hurt or killed would piss off their parents, which voldemort presumably doesn't want, and even if they got arrested their parents could probably get them out of it

like, we have to keep in mind that this conflict isn't real to regulus yet, and it won't be until the ultimatum is actually delivered. action doesn't feel urgent to him the way it does to sirius at this point

although i do think around now, regulus would start feeling a bit of concern that maybe their parents would skip over sirius completely re: death eaters and go directly to their spare. he's comparatively disposable but still a gesture of goodwill/confidence in voldemort's abilities

he also doesn't have the same leverage with their parents here that he does in atfhv, because sirius hasn't run away yet, so i think regulus would be somewhat less confident in his own ability to solve this for himself. i'm positive he'd have the thought that if sirius left, regulus would have more leverage, so THEN the difficulty is persuading him not to follow up on that

ajfslghsdkfhgdf this is really turning into a monumental endeavor for sirius

of course sirius wouldn't like the argument of 'even if our parents DO force us into becoming death eaters, we have some time before that becomes a real problem,' because Becoming A Death Eater *Is* The Real Problem Regulus. (which isn't to say regulus LIKES the idea of taking the mark - he's just trying to prevent sirius from taking unnecessarily drastic action)

so in order to get regulus to run away with sirius, regulus has to believe that running away (to the potters) is NOT unnecessarily drastic and is unfortunately merited by the situation. this will be difficult seeing as he's of the opinion that becoming a dark lord is a more reasonable response than running away from home afhsghkdfsfdf

so after a LOT of arguing and debating and back and forth and venting to various besties, i think sirius would back regulus into a deal regulus thinks/hopes will never come to pass: if their parents try to force either or both of them to join the death eaters, they unionize and LEAVE.

regulus's thinking is similar to stga reg in that he thinks their parents can't afford to lose them both (and he's basically right. orion and walburga COULD try for more kids but starting over would be a bit of a setback and they got very fortunate the first time around with having two sons and they can't guarantee that'll happen again). however, atfhv regulus is also of the opinion that going to the potters' will be temporary (which is the oNLY reason he agrees to spend a prolonged period of time with james). and i think he's right

with both regulus and sirius gone, the blacks can't just disown sirius and go 'ok regulus is heir now,' but they also don't want regulus hanging out with the potters and going down the blood traitor road (lmao). sirius may be a lost cause but regulus isn't, as far as they know, and they don't want to lose him

so what do they do? send orion.

in stga, it's narcissa - she has a pretty good relationship with both regulus and sirius and is really as neutral of a party as the blacks can get to play messenger. but in atfhv (or like. this atfhv spinoff, but for the sake of simplicity i'll call it atfhv) orion and walburga aren't trying to deliver a message - they're SPECIFICALLY trying to get regulus back.

so, send orion, because he'll be able to get regulus to listen to him

the thing they DON'T know, of course, is that it's not just that regulus doesn't want to become a death eater - he's a full-on blood traitor and is coordinating his actions with sirius at this point (once sirius actually got that ultimatum, it really solidified their alliance). even if orion talks to regulus one-on-one, regulus is going to request time to consider it and then immediately go tell sirius.

i think orion's point goes a little like 'you don't want to take the mark, i understand that, it DOES carry a sense of lowering yourself, but with the right help, voldemort WILL win this war and we want him indebted to us. if you can suggest a viable alternative strategy, neither you nor sirius has to take the mark.'

and orion and walburga know that regulus and sirius have been fighting/not talking for years, because they are not obtuse, so i think orion also tries to split up the alliance here with 'if sirius wants to be a potter so badly, let him be. our family would be in good hands with you taking up the lordship after my death'

and that offer would be REALLY TEMPTING to regulus. for a few reasons:

solve the death eater issue (for both him AND sirius)

it's obvious that sirius doesn't want to leave the potters. regulus, however, does NOT want to be here forever.

there's the same tension here around dark arts as there is in stga, but worsened because at this point, regulus has already taken charge of the slytherin dark arts study group. he's made it not just a part of his identity but something that he feels is his responsibility

since orion is here and willing to make a deal, they have proof that the 'you will have no heir or spare unless you compromise with us' approach WORKS, which means regulus would have leverage he knows how to use upon going back. without sirius, regulus has even MORE power, because there is only one of him

regulus wants validation from his role model :(

so i think he'd go present that to sirius as something that could potentially solve everything. i think that, by talking to sirius about it instead of just doing it, regulus is hoping that them splitting up doesn't necessarily mean a return to them being estranged. they could still keep in touch and see each other at school

sirius, i think, does not really like this idea. yes, it solves the *death eater* issue, but it's still giving their parents what they want, and supporting voldemort in general is just. bad, and sirius points out that OBVIOUSLY orion is trying to keep them from working together, and i think he's upset that regulus seems to be falling for it

but regulus *does not want to be here.* he's literally just here for collective bargaining power and allying with sirius. he wants to be with his friends (barty aside, but orion and walburga do already tolerate their friendship even if the potters would certainly approve of it more) and his dark arts books and his high society battlefield and, to a certain degree, even his family

regulus in atfhv is not afraid of orion and walburga. this is a different take than ones i see pretty commonly in 'regulus runs away' fics, which is part of why i think it's so difficult to get regulus to *leave* in this universe - the cost-benefit analysis doesn't work out well in his eyes

but i do think regulus in this au would make a condition 'sirius doesn't get disowned.' yes, make regulus heir, let sirius hang out with the potters, tell everyone he abdicated because regulus was a better choice for the role, make sirius the black sheep of the family even more than he already is, but don't kick him out. regulus's argument here is that if sirius gets disowned, it looks like there was Big Drama, and after that whole thing with she-who-must-not-be-named eloping less than 10 years ago, do they *really* need more of that?

(it shows more confidence in regulus as heir as well, if it doesn't look like the blacks were forced into that decision and made it of their collective free will)

sirius still isn't thrilled, but he attempts to make the best of it by going 'would it at least be possible to come up with a way to support you-know-who that gives us an opening to sabotage him later?' and regulus goes 😈 we will make one 😈

turns out, with the combined efforts of regulus, narcissa, and various parental figures, the blacks (and malfoys) can exert VERY tight control over voldemort's purse strings. lucius and bellatrix are the 'show of good faith' death eaters which is great because they're ALREADY MARKED and it doesn't require forcing anyone into the position.

probably regulus and sirius end up concocting a plan in which regulus goes to orion and walburga and says 'i've changed my mind, we should disown sirius, his political inclinations hurt our position with voldemort' and orion and walburga go 'mwahaha our plan to divide and conquer worked. yes regulus that is a reasonable idea good for you'

regulus then promptly begins passing information through sirius to the order of the phoenix and hinting to various people he both likes and trusts that they should maybe start peeling off from the death eaters a little bit juuuuuuuuuuuust in case it works out poorly for them later

he may very well still end up working with barty and evan - barty goes 'SABOTAGE??? I LOVE SABOTAGE' and runs off to take the mark, which serves the dual purposes of giving them multiple avenues of information in the death eaters and endearing him to orion and walburga so he can hang out at regulus's house. (barty would probably still live with his parents - voldemort wants him there b/c of crouch sr. but he can at least *avoid* his father by way of grimmauld place. orion and walburga understand the desire to spend no time with crouch sr. they don't really do 'sympathetic' but they do just kind of accept the fact that he will show up randomly)

and evan comes into play because *mumblemumble.* if you've read my spoiler posts you may have some ideas on what the mumbling is but i genuinely don't remember if i've talked about this afjlsghksdf i think i have though?

anyway the order wins the war and everyone regulus likes just HAPPENS to avoid azkaban because they just HAPPENED to have a contingency plan already (the good thing about killing voldemort permanently is that the dark marks disappear - no instant proof of guilt!)

so then regulus has a stranglehold on the dark network (thanks to getting rid of the people who aren't helpful to him AND giving certain people tip-offs that make them feel grateful), which leads to an immense degree of influence over the wizengamot and the sacred 28, and orion and walburga are very proud, and sirius is watching regulus sit in on wizengamot sessions 'for fun' and thinking 'oh god what have i created'

(every day is bring your child to work day if you're orion and your child is willing to have passive aggressive conversations with your enemies to distract them while you actually go about negotiating with useful people)

somehow this still ends up with regulus fighting voldemort and dumbledore, just one at a time and more subtly. i clearly have a one track mind FJSLGHSKGHSJDKFJDS but atfhv regulus is really surprisingly committed to his principles once you back him into a corner

oh my god this got SO LONG. sjlghsdkfd i'd read the hell out of this fic ngl

[lesbianzouis]

[skrungy]

this cohock randomly decided to spare me

[nulltune]

@corrchoigilt SOMEHOW.... i feel like this represents part of da hakuno-cascu dynamic quite well

[stxneflxwers]

read a cringe hate comment abt genshin but im tired so i forgot what it was

[deerest-me]

...there's an option to report someone on tumblr for... election integrity?

what i take away from this and the constant censoring of transwomen on this site is that staff really has designed the reporting system for the most annoying demographic in mind (themselves)

[jyoongim]

ALASTOR X READER

~Anyway you want me baby~

Taking Angel’s Poison and giving it a spin.

Porn with no plot? Slight Degradation kink. Pet play. Orgasm denial.

You made your choice to deal with the devil and now you’re at his mercy

No one knew why you were always with the red demon. When the Radio Demon came back from his ‘sabbatical’ he had a pretty little thing by his side.

If people saw you, Alastor wasn’t too far behind.

There were many rumors.

many think you were just his little errand girl.

others thought you were the reason he was gone.

but oh…how wrong they were…

You were a poor, underpaid, and abused dancer. you had met Alastor when he had dealt a deal with Husker in the club you worked.

he had peaked your interest when you witness him strip Husker of everything.

he had power. Power was the only thing in this damned place that got you anywhere.

and you wanted that power.

with his help, you could be and have anything.

and so you made the mistake approaching him.

“I want to make a deal” you said confidently.

his sharp smile widened as he quirked an eyebrow at you.

”what would you give me my dear?”

You couldn’t offer him money. So you took a deep breathe and gave him your best flirty smile “I’ll be yours. Anything you want”

his clawed finger caught your chin, angling your face to bring his face closer “you sure about that my dear?”

you nodded and just like that; you had struck a deal.

but this deal wasn’t what you thought.

you thought maybe he would have you do his bidding, or request you do weird shit.

No.

Alastor had found you mildly amusing that you would willingly strike a deal with him. So he took it upon himself to make a special deal with you.

“What a pretty pet you make dear”

your jaw was aching as you swallowed his dick. You whined at his words. You had been doing this for hours and practically had a puddle of your slick underneath you.

Alastor was sitting above you, leg on your back and purred as you gagged when he pushed your head down further.

you looked so pretty with your lips wrapped around him.

he held you fast in place with your leash wrapped around his hand.

feeling your momentum slow, he slide out of your throat with a pop.

he wrangled you til you were in his lap. The sound of static hummed in the air as he positioned you right above his spit covered dick.

You whimpered in embarrassment as he toyed with your throbbing clit.

he chuckled as your hips sought after his fingers before pushing you down onto his member.

you hissed at the inrustion and let out a moan as he slowly bounced you.

he tilted his head, watching your pretty face contort in pleasure.

“Who said you could feel good dear?”

you gasped as he set a rough pace. You felt the leash tighten around your neck, restricting your breathing as he mangled your insides.

”A-Alastor!”you cried out as he hit that sweet spot inside you.

all you wanted was relief.

his smile was vicious “do my pretty pet want to cum?”

he had asked you this multiple times and you knew what the result was going to be, but frantically you nodded as you hoped he would give you mercy.

but what fun would that be?

Alastor chuckled deeply as he thrusted harshly inside you.

he loved how pliant you were.

you would do anything to please him just to get some relief.

unfortunately for you, that just wasn’t how things were.

he decided when you got pleasure.

he let out a growl as he felt your inside clench around him

”don’t you dare”

you felt tears well in your eyes. You wanted to be good.

but fuck it felt so good.

you let out a high pitch whine when you felt that tight coil in your belly.

”please please please please” you begged.

he flipped you onto your belly and pulled the leash tight, wringing your head back, causing you to gasp as he hovered over you.

Admits his harsh thrusts he placed a soft kiss to your forehead

”how you want me dearest?”

your eyes clenched as he quickened his pace

You were so close.

he hummed and before that coil could snap…

he pulled out and you felt the warmth of his cum spilling on your ass.

you groaned and glared at his smiling face.

he scooped a little off your ass and smeared your lips

”lets try again shall we?” You sucked his fingers clean and whine when he released your leash enough for you to turn around and with only the thought of being able to cum, you spreaded your legs for him again.

Alastor’s ever sharp grin widened at you.

”and how do pretty sluts like it dear?”

“Any way you want baby”

what a good little pet he made you…

[diluc33rpm]

1/2 Do you like someone?

no i’m a seething ball of darkness who feels nothing but potent hatred

[sugumii]

Clingy Jing Yuan

Warnings: None.

“But love-“

“Jing Yuan.” You huff, attempting to pry the large male off of you. Your arms pushed at his chest gently as he resisted, a pout on his face. “Last time I checked, today isn’t one of your off days. Go back to work and stop clinging onto me.”

“But I missed you, my beloved. Is it a crime to seek out the affection of my lover?”

“It is when you’re slacking off. You still have lots of paperwork left to finish, love.”

Jing Yuan grinned in amusement, eyes with a glint of mischief. Even as the general of Xianzhou Luofu with countless duties everyday he still found time to come cling to you. Who knew such a high standing man could be so needy? He wrapped his strong, muscular arms around your waist and pulled you in, smiling teasingly.

“Perhaps I’d resume my work if you offered me some motivation.”

That little…

You glared up at him as he smiled innocently. He continued, in an attempt to persuade you.

“Just one kiss, my dear.”

“Do you promise?” You looked him with suspicion, watching as his golden irises made eye contact with yours.

“I promise.”

“Fine… but you better keep your side of the deal. Otherwise, Fu Xuan will yell at you for two hours again.” You scolded, wrapping your arms around his neck and leaning in slowly. Jing Yuan grinned, eagerly lowering his arms to rest on your waist and shutting his eyes, puckering his lips.

As you both leaned in to close the distance, a knocking was heard at the door. With a mildly irritated look, Jing Yuan ignored it, while you attempted to pull away from him.

“Yes? Who is it?”

“Ah, Y/n! I’m sorry for interrupting, but have you seen the general around?�� Replied a young male voice from the other side of the door- Yanqing. The poor boy sounded tired and worried, most likely having been scolded by Fu Xuan to find your slacker of a boyfriend.

Jing Yuan continued to ignore his student’s questioning, instead opting to continue leaning closer to your face and receiving his well earned kiss. You scowled at him in annoyance and once again attempted to push said male away.

“Jing Yuan… not now. Yanqing and Fu Xuan are looking for you. I’ll give you a kiss later, but for now return to work!” You scolded him lightly, whispering in his ear for him to hear.

He pouted once more, refusing to let go of you and wrapped his arms around your form tighter like a cat refusing to let go of their owner.

“Tell him we’re busy… I’ll return in a few minutes, my dear.”

“Y/n?”

“Ah, sorry Yanqing.” You apologized, “I haven’t seen him around. Have you checked the botanic garden?”

The young boy’s voice perked up, “Ah, no I haven’t! I completely forgot to check there. Thank you Y/n, I’ll go look right now!” Footsteps were heard running off into the distance as you sighed and looked at your lover who held a smug look on his face.

“My s/o has such a kind and beautiful heart for me after all. Now, let’s resume what we agreed upon my dear…”

“Fine, but you better get back to work after this! I’m not covering for you next time.”

With that he captured your lips in a soft but passionate kiss. His hands pulled you in closer by the waist so that your chests touched as his hands wandered. You gasped as you felt his hands lower as you pushed him away and swatted at him.

“YANQING! FU XUAN! HE’S HERE I FOUND HI-“

“I’m going, I’m going my love! Quiet dow- Ah… Fu Xuan. What a pleasant surprise.”

“…General. In your office. Now.”

[insomnia-productions]

so i started reading the raven cycle and the blurb was all like “Blue is destined to kill her true love” but then on page 3 of the prologue they clarify, if Blue were to kiss her true love, then he would die, and like

idk maybe it’s the ace speaking but that feels like such an absolute non-issue. bestie just don’t kiss him <3

[bitchimasnake-sss]

from me to you ft. roronoa zoro!

set-up: anon asked me to write angst :) 32 year zoro had lost you two years ago. but when he finds himself back in time, face to face with a 22 year old and and alive you, what will he do?

warnings: none, just some good ole angst; not proofread at all :/

"how did you get that scar then?" chopper asked, tracing another deep scar on the older man's shoulder.

"i was fighting a warlord." the older zoro shrugged, finding comfort in the way the young reindeer marvelled at his story.

"did you win then?" ussop asked next.

the younger version of the swordsman cut in, "ofcourse he did. he's me."

"not to credit you," the older version bickered, "but yes ofcourse, i did win."

"what do you mean 'not to credit you'. i am the reason you even got to that point-"

"yes but you didn't fight the warlord, i did."

"I AM YOU-"

"oh my god, stop bickering with yourself" nami groaned, "when will the rest be back? im growing so tired of looking after you children."

"i am a decade older than you." the older swordsman answered back.

the rest of the crew was out exploring the port town where the sunny was docked. it was about to be sun-down and the two zoros, nami, ussop and chopper waited for the others to return back.

hours passed and the older man had found himself walking around the ship, reminiscing in the old times. somehow, for someone as much of a shitty memory as him, he could recall every stain, every dent. he could recall every place ussop fucked up or luffy damaged or you-

you. you. you.

and now he could hear footsteps on the deck. more importantly, he could hear you. so, his feet moved to their own accord. he navigated through the ship easily, muscle memory taking ahold of his body. taking him to the deck, taking him to you.

the older swordsman stepped out onto the happening deck and there you were.

you - along with the rest of the crew - turned your attention to the green-haired man that had materialized on the deck. and then, the entire crew erupted into chaos. the younger version of luffy comically looked from one zoro to another, sanji stood with his mouth wide apart and robin looked slightly alarmed.

but none of that mattered.

none of them were you.

the twenty-two year old version of you was looking at the older man, mildly amused. you giggled and then poked nami, saying something along the lines of "he looks like a dilf" or something. but the older man didn't care, or more so he couldn't.

it was night yet he could point out every wayward freckle across your cheek. you shivered and he held back from giving you his kimono. you walked over to his younger version and that green-haired boy pressed a kiss to your forehead the same way he wanted to.

you were there.

in flesh and blood, you were there.

and maybe that's why he turned his back on you and walked into that old cabin of his. maybe that's why he locked the door and slumped against the wood with a heavy sigh. maybe that's why he covered his eyes with his palm and tried to blink the tears away.

you were gone. you had been, for the past two years. and he had learnt to live with that absence. learnt to swallow down any memories of you that came creeping up like bile. learnt to only smile in his dreams when he saw you again.

shouldn't he be happy he saw you again? shouldn't he be glad you smiled at him again? he should be, right?

then why wasn't he? why did it hurt him more to see you laughing that it did when he saw your cold corpse?

"uhm-" your voice called from outside, unsure, "zo- zoro? are you in there?"

he pressed his palm flatter against his eyes and sighed, "i'll be out in a minute, please wait"

"are you okay?" you asked softly and when he didn't reply, you asked again, "can i come in?"

wordlessly, he turned around and opened the door. and wordlessly, you crashed against him, hugging the older man.

letting go of whatever restraints he had, he held you against him tightly. he closed his eyes, relishing in the way your warmth felt against him, the way your cheek was resting against his chest, the way your tresses tickled his skin.

"you looked like you could use a hug." you mumbled against him, "it must be insane, to go through this time travel thing right?"

but the older man just pursed his lips tighter, trying to hold onto the love of his life as long as he could. he tried to fight off the welling tears as you let go of him and looked up at him.

"you smell nice. looks like you're actualy showering huh?" you laughed, "and i can't believe you got even more tall. i look like a child in front of you!"

zoro smiled despite himself, "hate to break it to ya, but you stay this size your entire life."

"what?! no!" you laughed again in disbelief, "really??"

he just nodded and you hit his chest playfully. then you said, "well i have so many questions for you. should i ask? please please pl-"

"anything for you." he replied mindlessly.

"look at you, such a romantic. your younger version could learn a thing or two." you paused, "my future version must be really happy with you, huh- wait, we're still together right?"

zoro was silenced. then, he put on a smile, "yeah, we are. and i guess she's pretty happy."

"are you?"

it was a simple question and yet, zoro felt like his being was set ablaze by just those two words. though his mouth felt like it was full of tar, he managed to say, "yeah, more or less"

you cocked an eyebrow, "you know you're a terrible liar."

"i-" he gave you a tired smile, "things have just been hard for the past few years, that's all."

"oh," you gave him a nudge, "but as long you've got me, things will be okay, yeah?"

he scoffed, as if rejecting your suggestion. you met the older man's gaze with confusion, as if asking him if you said something wrong.

his eyes softened, voice barely audible. he asked you, "and what if i lost you?"

"dumbass, you can never lose me. i'm with you, always."

"what if?"

"then..." you pondered for a second. finally, you raised your wrist to the green-haired swordsman's eyelevel. the silver charm bracelet shone dimly in the lit room. you shook your wrist and the soft melody of the charms filled the room, "you can keep this, to remember me."

zoro's gaze was transfixed on the charm bracelet, his eye catching each miniscule metallic movement, "you- you lost this bracelet."

"i did?" you tilted your head.

"i mean- in a couple years you will. we had docked on a summer island and you lost it while exploring the town."

you watched the way the man stared at your wrists and you made your decision, "take it."

"but it's your favourite jewelry-"

"well, if i'm gonna lose it anyways-" you took off the bracelet with little trouble, "then i think you should keep it."

you gave him another smile, delicately placing the dainty bracelet in his calloused palm, "maybe you can give it back to my future self when you're back in the present. i am sure she'd like the surprise of having it back."

before zoro could protest, his younger version barged into the cabin. the younger boy hissed at the older man, "give me back my girlfriend, oldy."

the older man didn't ignore the way you laughed. you took languid steps to reach the younger boy and then you melted in his arm as you laughed.

he loved you then, he loved you now. he knows he would love you beyond this.

and that's all that matters.

roronoa zoro, aged 32, had disappeared for three days. he refused to tell anyone where he had gone. but when he returned, he sported a new chain round his neck with old charms. nobody on the crew bought the chain up, they didn't need to.

because for the first time in two years, the swordsman could crack open a smile when he greeted them.

and that's all that mattered.

💗a/n: definitely gonna be posting sanji's part as soon as im done with it! sanji's part

[foldingfittedsheets]

Hands down one of my worst experiences in high school was when the seniors decided to extort the entire school by using tactics that were banned by the UN to get them to pay for the senior party! If that sounds like a wild sentiment stay tuned because this shit got crazy.

I was living in Arizona at the time and I was a freshman. Our campus was largely open air, with walks between class room buildings and some covered outdoor tables. Our event began with a morning announcement. The seniors were collecting donations for the senior party, and when they reached their goal, their fundraising method would stop.

Their fundraising method:

To pipe the entire schools speakers with "If You're Happy and You Know It" on loop. To this day, I cannot hear this song without experiencing a degree of rage and madness that is frankly alarming. One of the worst parts of the entire thing was that the recording they chose had the female singer do a little clap and say "Yay-ha-hey," at the end. So it wasn't just the song, it was this awful little cooldown stinger at the end.

If this sounds a lot like psychological torture you'd be extremely correct! This practice has been banned in some countries, but the good old US hasn't ruled it a human rights violation, and what a fun silly way to raise money, that definitely wasn't damaging to adolescent psyches!

Every morning for 15 minutes before school began, every passing period, every lunch, and after school for another 15 minutes they blasted that fucking song on unceasing repeat through every speaker in the school. Everyone found different ways of coping with this and mine was to observe my classmates descent into madness and categorize the stages.

The first stage was almost completely consistent, and it was a smug almost exasperated eye rolling phase. Often accompanied by derisive comments about the song or the tactic, this phase was extremely mildly annoyed. Most people figured it would blow over soon, and no one anticipated this continuing for a week and a half, creating a miasma of fraught tension.

The second phase was elevated annoyance, starting to snap and be less amused characterized this level of irritation. People would try to cover their ears or put on headphones, humming aggressively to block out the syrupy repulsive children's performer with her loathsome little clap. This phase had people picking their absolute least favorite part of the song. Her inflection on certain words, her timing between verses. I think it's pretty clear already which part I hated most.

The next phase was a bounce back out to absurdity. It became funny how annoying it was and people would sing along as if to challenge the song's authority over their psyche. This paired exceptionally poorly with people in phase two as they'd often lash out at the people giving more voice to their hell.

The fourth phase was a dead-eyed madness. People would stare straight ahead and their lips would silently mouth the familiar words. The song had pounded its way into their very soul and was inextricably linked to auditory output. They often didn't even realize if they began chanting along.

The fifth and final phase was pure uncut pubescent rage. Kids would scream, attack each other, and in a truly epic end to the event hurl a cafeteria chair with such force at the speaker in the cafeteria to irreparably damage the sound system.

The seniors got funding for a party, but some of it had to go to repair the damages, which were substantial.