#friend i hope tumblr didn't notify you a lot

[shinsoukover]

6 26 96? ^_^

hiii! thank you for the ask!!

I didn't think mitski's new album would make it but uh, all the songs are there

[q-starhalo]

I LIED, THIS IS MY LAST IMPORTANT LETTER TO YOU AT THE MOMENT:

No but it's seriously has been such an honor liveblogging Bad on the qsmp and I'm so glad I took the chance to do so when I was thinking about whether or not to post about him here <3 While I can't say when I started posting more on my account, I can say that I'm so glad it was this community and Bad that inspired me to do so and I will forever be thankful for that <3

And I also have to say that I was glad that I took part in our little road trip to Purgatory that day and joined the bus discord since I've met so many more people even if I didn't talk there for 2 months after it opened ^^"

And now onto my favorite people (which is just all of you guys but I can only remember so many users o(-()

@alchemicaladarna You have been such a nice person to see in my notes and in my feed <3 While we don't speak much, you're a really sweet person and I'm glad I got to meet you

@anth4rax You are one of the fastest people I've met when it came to liking posts. And while you can be a tad chaotic, you're always a welcoming presence in my notes and in the bus <3 I'm really glad I've gotten to speak to you and be your friend <33

@azure-wing While I believe we don't speak much, it's always a pleasure seeing you hanging out in the bus and notifying others who's live <3

@badanddapper You posting Bad and Dapper clips have always made my day <3 Thank you <333

@baginamybeloved NIKOLA <3333 Siempre es un placer hablar contigo en español or in english and figure out if something is just a my country thing or not xD And even then, it's just a pleasure talking to you and I'm glad we've met <3333

@bixxibee Bixx!!! <3 I'm always happy to see you around and speak to you <33 You're a really nice person and I'm glad I got the chance to meet you <33

@boytoyhalo SIREN!! <3 While I think we've barely spoken, I'm always happy to see you around <33

@celluzu I don't think we've spoken before but I'm grateful for the Bad and Dapper you drew for me during the Trick or Treat on Tumblr <33

@creechurrr CREECHURRRRRRRRRR <33333333333 AUGH I LOVE WHENEVER YOU COME INTO MY ASKS YOU'RE MIND IS SO BEAUTIFUL YOU ALWAYS GET ME AND YOUR FICS ARE AMAZING <33333 AND YOU'RE SO KIND AND I'M SO GLAD I GOT TO MEET YOU <3333

@dappersautismcreature While we don't speak much, I love seeing you here and there and I loved your starhalo au's <3333 OH AND THE UM UM I FORGET WHAT IT'S CALLED BUT THE GRIM REAPER FIC ONE WAS SO GOOD <33333

@disfrutalakia Kia!!! You've always been my go-to blog for the Brazilians and Bagina and I'm so glad I got to meet you <3

@etoilesmoon One of the many people who understand me when it comes to starhalo 🤝 Hope I get to speak to you more <3

@gnostie GHOST!!! While we've only started speaking more recently, I'm so glad Mizu directed me to you when it came to clowns and just cute stuff in general <3 Ha sido un placer de conocerte <33333

@hgduo YOU GET ME. YOU F★CKING GET ME. (Also you're very cool. Tons of love to you <3)

@islayuri YOU'RE SO TALENTED OH MY GOD YOU'RE ART MAKES ME WANT TO EXPLODE <33333

@kadextra KADE. KADE. YOU'RE ART AND YOUR THEORIES AND THE BLACK SIGN STUFF. <3333333 And not only that, but you're such a sweet and talented person <333 Sending you lots of love <3333

@kaijuparfait PARFAIT!!! <333 It's been a pleasure talking to you about starhalo in the past and now more recently hearing (or more so reading) about Godzilla and how it fits Bad <33 Glad I met you <33333

@karoo-o LOVE YOUR ART AND IT WAS AN HONOR MAKING A PLAYLIST FOR YOU DURING THE VALENTINE EXCHANGE <3333

@kays-artstuff Even if you don't do much qsmp art, I'm always so glad to see you in my notes and I love seeing your art, it's so 💥💥💥💥💥

@l3m-n LEM!! While I rarely see you now, it was a pleasure talking to you here and there <33

@little-soldiers We've spoken here and there but you were such an inspiration for me to write out a little fic and I still hold on to that encouragement whenever I want to write something but don't think it'll be well <333 Thank you <3333

@lunaeclipse1057-ao3 LUNAAAAAAAAAA <3333333 While I've already said this, you're genuinely a sweet person even if we've barely spoken and I hope I still see you around <33333333

@lxrd-ren While I don't think you open Tumblr anymore, I just want you to know that you were and always will be the best bus buddy ever <33

@mizuski-broken MIZUUUUUUUUUU OH GOD WHERE DO I BEGIN?????? You always get me when it comes to the paranormal and you're just such a nice person to be around with <3333 I'm so glad I got to meet you and consider you a friend of mine <33333333

@muffinclutch Love seeing you in my notes <333 Hope to see you around <3333

@qsmprambling Always glad to see you around <3333

@starscollide0 YOU'RE ART IS SO 💥💥💥💥💥🔥🔥🔥🔥💥💥💥 And you're also such a nice person <3333 I hope to see you around <3333333333

@tubborucho LISS!! I'm always happy to see you around and you're truly the go to soulfire/tubhalo person <3 Lots of love to you <333333

@ultra-raging-ghost Ghost!!! It's always such a pleasure seeing you out and about whether it be you drawing or talking about mainly ayhalo and cucuhalo to in my notes, I'm always glad to see you <333 Hope to talk to you more <333333

And of course to many others like the people in my notes (@toxic-foolhalo-yuri, @j3ssicaangel, @fl10werc4t, @kayleighthekoala, @starriknight, @mystifiedmystery, @nightlight26, etc.) and everyone on the bus like Theo, Zero, Brubs, Zunto, March, Tannin, Des, Nico, and so so many others!!!! <3 Thank you again for this wonderful experience and trust me when I say, I will always be here <3333

- Yours truly, Star ★

[s9fti3]

I HAVE THE FUNNIEST REQUEST FOR YOU (because this actually happened to me and I need to tell someone send help please)

I started talking to this guy on a dating app a few days ago. He's a little younger than me and normally I don't really date people that are younger than me; for context, it's because I had to mature really early on (it's a whole thing, I won't get into it). Anyway, I gave him my phone number when he asked and so we've been texting ever since; he sends me cute little 'good morning' texts, tells me that he hopes I have a good day, etc. (entirely different from my last relationship of several years - for comparison, it's like I was dating Jane or Caius and suddenly jumped to Seth???).

SO ON SUNDAY, I had been up all night trying to get roleplay stuff together and I stupidly went down to the mini Mart by my house early in the morning (still sleep deprived) to get some coffee, and before I left, I took a cute little selfie in the car and sent it to him. Well I was all excited from how cute the selfie was, and when I climbed out of the car, I LOCKED MY KEYS IN THE CARRRRR FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE I WAS TWELVE.

ヽ(｡◕o◕｡)ﾉ

I haven't told him about it yet ...

I also found out that he roleplays like I do, and so I gave him my Sideblog. And when he followed me, I followed him back.

And I completely forgot that you can only follow from your main blog.

SO NOW THIS MAN CAN SEE ALL THE WEIRD THINGS I LIKE AND DO AND SEND HELP PLEASE

I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HE WAS FOLLOWING MY MAIN BLOG UNTIL I CHECKED MY FOLLOWERS BECAUSE TUMBLR DIDN'T NOTIFY ME????

ANYWAY, this is all a really long winded way of asking you if you could please ease my embarrassment and write something between Seth and the reader involving these situations and Seth finding out from the reader about it (because my embarrassment is great for writing and I think Seth would be so amused to find out he flustered someone that much)

Thank you for the request, Lovebug!! I hope you like this :) (I have no idea what I’m doing!)

‘Call me maybe?’- Seth Clearwater Headcannon!!

• You had just so happen to meet Seth through Jacobs 17th birthday party. The conversation was very tame, introducing yourself to one another, talking about up coming events and how you liked the small, yet fun party.

• Seth was going to leave early as he had his ‘studies’ to get to. You took your shot and walked over to him, saying your goodbyes and offering to stay in touch. You had given him your personal number- not your home number, which you usually did.

• Sooner or later you guys started talking… a lot. You guys had also just so happened to share your facebooks with one another over call, friending each other. A very new app, Tumblr, was also something you guys had used to communicate. Well, at least on a fake account that is…

• On a very uneventful day, you had came home and opened up all of your social media to see if anything had happened. New friend request on Facebook? Except. Checking to see if Seth had texted you on Tumblr? Nothing. You had went to your other account that was used for your silly likings. Such as books, or movies, or even just clubs! Your heart sunk when you went through your followers for fun.

• You face bad became at least 3 shades lighter than what it was originally. As if on queue, Seth had called. You stared at your phone before picking it up and flipping it open, clicking on the call button… ‘Hello?’ Your voice ran over the line. ‘You’re into ___? Never knew!’ Seth said over the phone. Embarrassed you were. ‘Hey uh Seth, I’m going to have to hang up. I only have a few more minutes until my minutes run out and I can’t call anymore.’ You replied, almost wanting to die. ‘Huh? You said you had bought some extra minutes like… 2 days ago?’ He said confused. ‘Talk to you later, bye!’ I don’t think you’ve ever hung up the phone so fast.

• As if death had taken you by the hand, you avoided Seth, every chance you got. Of course it broke the poor boy’s heart, but over time you both overcame this little embarrassing moment, and now your telling it at your 3rd anniversary with Seth.

[tarysande]

On Grief. And On Friendship. On Memory. And Love.

When my grandmother died, we didn't have a traditional funeral. We didn't wear black. We didn't sit around, solemn and silent. We told stories. We ate food she would have liked and drank Bailey's with cream. We got to do it together, of course, and we got to cry and hug and mourn and laugh and sing.

I'm sure all of us have heard some version of the phrase "online friendships aren't REAL friendships." I know I have. I've never understood it, either. For me, in all my neurodiverse glory, online friendships are often MORE REAL. Where else can you meet people and immediately jump into all the things you have in common? All the shared loves and hates and hyperfixations? Where else can you just bypass small-talk and, as Anne of Green Gables would say, find bosom friends so quickly? I've met so many online.

I honestly don't remember when I met Sara/@dearophelia. When I look through my tags, I know it's been at least seven years. I'm certain it's been longer because she definitely had username changes. And I am total shit at remembering username changes. More than once, I've told myself I should keep a spreadsheet. I'm pretty sure I've known her almost as long as I've been on tumblr, and that's more than a decade.

When Sara got sick, I finally used that tumblr function that notifies you whenever a blog updates. I wasn't around tumblr as regularly, but I didn't want to miss anything Sara might say. I hoped that one day I'd get the notification that everything was clear, she was in remission.

I didn't. Today, I got what will be the final notification from her blog--@vhenadahls sharing the information that Sara passed away. That there wouldn't be anymore updates. No more reblogs. No more snarky comments in the tags or gushing comments in the tags.

If this were a room and everyone who loved Sara, who enjoyed her fanfic (with or without knowing the woman behind it!), who has listened to her playlists, who played ME3 multiplayer with her, who was in any way touched by her in a way that brought their lives joy, it would be so full. We would all have stories to share. We'd all have memories to relive.

This room would be decorated with labradorite and pink and fat birbs and cats. There would be so much music--Taylor Swift and Halsey and Florence and the Machine and Hozier and so many many others. There would be a million fabulous selfies on the walls of Sara's huge smile and her vulnerability and her bravery. There would be gaming knickknacks and D&D dice and tarot decks and crystals and magic and books on every surface. All her faves would be represented. And it would still only brush the surface of how vibrant she was and how deeply and enthusiastically she loved what she loved.

If this were a room where we could also add all the characters she created, whose stories so many of us loved ... well, it would have to be awfully big. Sara wrote a lot of stories for a lot of fandoms.

And if this were a room where we and her characters were gathered, but we opened the doors for all the characters and stories that Sara helped inspire, helped grow, encouraged and enabled, well, I know a whole lot of my characters and stories would be here, too. I'm sure I decided to create Rose Trevelyan because of some conversation Sara and I had where I was imagining Rose Vakarian-Shepard grown up.

Sara, I'm really sorry I didn't get to finish the Vakarian-Shepard stories before you left. Most writers write for themselves, sure, but often they also write for specific readers. Sara was always one of mine, but I don't think she knew it. I lived for her gushing tag-comments. I loved when she was always so quick to jump in with prompts.

I'm honored that I was someone with whom Sara shared her original fic work. (She also once shared an absolutely horrifying scene with Garrus and Shepard's clones that she cut from Nora's story because it was just TOO AWFUL. In fact, she shared it with me BECAUSE IT WAS SO AWFUL and she knew I'd appreciate it.) In my heart of hearts, I wanted Sara to finish that original story and publish it. I wanted us to be part of each other's group of writer-friends (you know, you always see them thanking each other in their books). Hell, I wanted to have a small press at some point just SO I could publish Sara's stories. I believed in her THAT MUCH.

I love Sara's stories. I love her playlists. I love her blog, with its hodgepodge of interests and loves. I love her imagination and creativity and attention to detail. I love that I can still visit that mind by reading the bounty of work she left behind.

I mean, she made me wholeheartedly buy into a relationship between Shepard's mom and ZAEED.

Sara was one of the constants in my online life over the last decade. Even if we hadn't chatted for a while, I always knew we could pick up again like no time had passed (thanks, ADHD). As I write this, there's a little chat circle on the bottom right of my tumblr screen with her avatar in it and I can't bear the thought of hitting that X button and never seeing it pop up again.

Sara struggled and loved and fought and overcame and breathed and was brave. Not just in the past few years, when she was sick. As long as I knew her. And she didn't let anything stop her. She snarled in the face of it all and wrote stories so beautiful they broke my heart and then pieced it back together again in the same paragraph.

I miss her. I will always miss her. But I'm so happy I got to know her as long as I did. She'll live on in my memories, in my stories, in the characters she helped inspire. She'll live on every time I look at my favorite tarot deck--she was the first person I yelled at when I bought it--and when I see fat birbs and cute-maybe-evil cats. And if that's not REAL friendship, real love, I don't know what is.

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

Sobbing

Each time I tell u anything via asking I never get to see if u answered me

Since I use anon I think it doesn't notify me???

Maybe I confuse u with other blogs...or maybe I never actually send the ask bcuz I shy away...awful memory. Actually forget the 1st one, I'm too scared to speak to anyone else. Meanwhile the second option....

And I don't rlly check tumblr every day so my ask probs gets lost with all your posts, and I'm too lazy to find it

So...if I go off anon will it notify me when u answer me?? hmm bright thoughts

And...it's likely I won't know if you answered THIS ask...

CRYING

Sorry for saying so much uhh.

Almost didn't send this one outta embarrassment lol

anyways mwa 🩷 love ur writing :3

Hi anon friend!

I'm so sorry, I have no idea tbh -

I answer quite a few anons every day, so it could be that you haven't been getting notified? There's a lot of people who will sign off with a specific emoji so that it's easier to keep track of which anon sent something, but if you have one attached here it's not one that shows up in this browser ...

Hope this helps!!

[bornt-urnge]

Hello! So I saw your post about wanting to play DnD, but never really feeling it with the group, and that's understandable. A lot of DnD groups that record and publish are groups that have already gotten to know eachother, so they can roleplay and interact more smoothly, and it's completely okay to not feel that way at first. All in all, I hope you find a wonderful group you click with, and that you'll have amazing adventures by a table in the future.

Hey! Unfortunately Tumblr didn't notify me of this so I have no idea when you sent it, BUT.

I did find a game! My husband and his friends were starting a new campaign and let me know spots were open. I had a really good day that day from other stuff and so I rode that positive energy into accepting and getting a character set up.

We're two sessions in and I'm feeling comfortable! I just needed to get over myself which I already knew lmao.

[somuchtostudysolittletime]

I'll start studying pharmacy. I didn't expect this my whole life. I'm so depressed.. can you help me? Idk how.. just could you tell me i gonna love it

Hi Anon

I am so sorry I did not reply to you sooner! Tumblr did not notify me about this message!

I assume from your message pharmacy isn't what you wanted to study - but if you wanted to be in a healthcare environment, you should be able to love pharmacy. If you wanted to do art or something, I'll be honest, pharmacy probably isn't for you.

It is super intense, but so interesting! I love learning about how medicines work and how they affect receptors, and how they affect other things. Depending on how your career path goes, there is also opportunity to branch out and specialise - you can become a prescriber within an area (diagnosing and treating conditions), an advanced clinical practitioner (so taking bloods etc!), you can go into drug development and so many other paths.

If you are at the start of your pharmacy journey, I also want to reassure you. Everything I thought I wanted, it turned out I actually prefer the opposite. Until third year of uni, I was adamant that I wanted to be a community pharmacist - now I am firmly committed to working in hospital. I thought I wanted to be in a big hospital in a city, I did that and hated it. I sure as hell didn't want to specialise in palliative care, but the longer I work in it, the more I realise it is exactly what I love. You never know what you really like until you get to experience it, so there is a big chance you'll like pharmacy. There are so many options available to you as well!

On the other hand, some of my uni friends decided in the end not to become a pharmacist. One went to do postgrad medicine, because the health knowledge from pharmacy really helps, one works in student experience at uni - because his degree helped him learn how to make the most of being a student, one is studying for a PhD in a drug development company. There is a lot you can do with a solid science degree - which at the end of the day, is what pharmacy is. There is a lot of science (but when you qualify you don't have to think about science much thankfully!), which makes you employable in most companies.

Personally, I love pharmacy. I lowkey hate the stress of working in the NHS - today on my day off I have been on my emails making sure things get actioned, which is bad I know, but actually doing pharmacy is great. Sometimes you have patients so grateful for your input that it makes your day. Sometimes you see patients with rare diseases that are absolutely fascinating. Sometimes you notice a great intervention to make on someone's drug chart, and you are really proud to have spotted it. There is endless learning you can do, which I quite like (but not the assignments!) but it is so great to be able to expand your knowledge and skills. I really really hope you end up loving pharmacy as much as I do, because it is a brilliant career.

[sunrizef1]

Hi, anon who asked for a bigger robbery than AD21 here. I won't respond to everything because there's a lot… 50/50 decisions(like the penalty) are frustrating but you have to move on. They aren't corruption or horrible mistakes as he implied. He'd have a point if it was similar to the offside called vs Tottenham, but at the same time he'd still be a hypocrite because he celebrated AD21. 🤷‍♂️ And… the quote from Gary Neville proves the point. Gary strongly questioned the decision, while VVD happily celebrated the corrupt result. I doubt he didn't know the F1 rules, there were plenty of footballer/non-F1 celebs who knew and understood. Sure I don't agree with the constant trolling but the more I see that tweet, the more ridiculous VVD becomes. Because Max did nothing in that race to deserve to win it, he was handed it. Lewis completely dominated that race, you don't need to be an F1 pundit to see that, yet he tweets 'WHAT A BOSS'. I'll copy Gary Neville's tweet to give an example of what he should have tweeted: "As at Dutchman, that ending was an absolute disgrace. But congrats to Max for a good season."

Yes, there are many less mainstream sports I don't watch (especially American) so there could be robberies on that level I'm unaware of (which is why I asked). I saw the other examples, but I still think AD21 is on another level. It was engineered corruption, no accident. We watched in real time as rules were broken to make sure Max won(safety car procedure) and as easily as possible (only cars between Max + Lewis unlapped) in the final laps of the final race, to end the championship, so nothing could be done viably to fix the result. They knew what they were doing, the rules, and that they'd get away with it with only a slap on the wrist. I guess to call something 'the biggest robbery' depends on a few factors such as: the popularity of the sport, the circumstances and details of the corruption, the importance of the game. Out of the ones mentioned, maybe the Kim Yuna one(no, I haven't heard of it before) comes close. It might be considered the biggest robbery in Korea but I don't know much about ice skating to say. Most of the football example mentioned are down to the other team cheating, such as the Hand of God. Plus there was no VAR 40 years ago, so you can give the refs the benefit of the doubt for missing it. I do agree that there've been gross VAR errors recently - but the only thing that could be compared in football terms is if 2 false penalties was given in the additional time of a champions league final, to the losing team to make them win.

Finally on a different note, the offside vs Tottenham was really bad. In a fair world, maybe they could have sued PGMOL because the apology wasn't enough. I remember being so angry because Liverpool were in contention for the title iirc 😬 The only thing that makes it better is that it didn't cost them positions in the table.

Oh my god I'm so sorry, I just saw this, idk why tumblr didn't notify me

I'm drained so I don't have much of a response and I can't really process most of that so I hope the tone wasn't argumentative because I don't want to argue and you presented a lot of fair points that I can't argue with

(I also don't remember my original response)

But about the “move on” thing, I think he does, generally move on. When he was talking about it, it was a post-game interview and he hasn't mentioned it since which I think is fair. Emotions high and everything. Especially considering he might not play the next Euros. At least not starting and captaining. (+it was his first)

The tweet, again, idrc about what he said 🤷‍♀️. I think anything pro-max for him in that scenario is a fair thing for him to say and I regularly cheer against him. I think it might have been a bit backhanded considering the relationship between him and max for him to tweet what Gary said. I wouldn't really want my friends saying that about my achievements but that might just be me.

I just thought about it for a few seconds and I can understand where you're coming from. If harry kane had tweeted “great win @/tottenham” when they unfairly beat Liverpool i think I'd be annoyed for a few seconds but, in the end, he belongs to Tottenham so I'd understand why he'd say that.

I think it'd be more of a “shut up harry” and then I'd move on. But at the same time, I dislike harry Kane anyway while LH hive don't really have another reason to hate virg.

About other sports robberies, its all up to opinion. I will always care more about football than formula one. That's just me. Football is my life and f1 is something I invest time in but it hasn't been as long-standing as football. I've never cried about an f1 race but I've cried over 16 football games in the last year alone lol.

But the thing about no var is true, even if the England ones were ref mistakes.

But also, your point about the other teams cheating in the football games is a good point because shouldn't anger be directed at the fia and not max? I feel like this anger would be warranted if virg had tweeted “great race today @/fia” lmao

Idk if this makes sense again, I'm tired 😭

Feel free to correct me btw, I have no idea what I'm saying

(and I think that the Tottenham points wouldve helped us down the line even if they didn't matter in the moment. That game also ended our unbeaten streak that I think would've helped confidence a lot if we'd still had it. Also there was two false reds in that game lol)

I appreciate you presenting fair, well-thought-out points and not just yelling at me though 🙃🤞

[wanderingandfound]

I loved the broken Earth trilogy if you end up reading it I hope you do too:)

Hi Anon,

I don't know if you follow me or not. You sent this ask on November 24th, 2018. I got the date from searching for the email that notified me of this ask. This was the only post I reblogged on that day. Maybe you never followed me, and was just passing across my blog one evening. Maybe you followed me then, but don't any longer. Maybe you don't even use Tumblr now. Or maybe you're still here.

You were so right. I love this trilogy.

Looking at my overdue emails it looks like I read the first book in the summer of 2020, right after I started my job at the library I checked it out from. I read the second one shortly thereafter, I think I tried to keep in time with Mark Oshiro's chapter-by-chapter blogging of the second book, but I probably didn't do a great job of that.

And then I took a break. They are excellent books, but 2020 was a year. I lost my great aunt and my yiayia right before the US shutdown for the pandemic. My grandfather fell off his chair and punctured a lung in December and then got COVID in the hospital and died. Other stuff was happening, and I stopped reading things that I cared about because I wasn't in the proper headspace to give them the attention I wanted to, and I didn't have the emotional fortitude to deal with something with as many heavy elements this series has, now that I'm emotionally invested.

Last year(?) I read Jemisin's Great Cities duology and man was that utterly fantastic. I love her writing. But also? I don't know how you pegged me so well with the Broken Earth rec but it feels like this trilogy was made to give me everything I want out of a book.

I've been sad for like, a month now. But while my sadness is hitting pretty deep the reasons I'm sad are fairly shallow, and all constrained to myself. I brought the last book on my trip because a) I thought having time to read when I have intentionally set aside most of my problems to be dealth with by future me would help, and b) I kinda hoped I would get so sad about this book that it would push out my current sadness. The first one worked. The second one didn't. For all these books deal with heavy subject matter and are packed with atrocities, they aren't dark books. And the matter-of-fact, head-on way the narrator addresses the atrocities didn't trip up my tears much for this last book, but it came close. Unfortunately the reading experience was a little marred by me reading this last book through the filter of my current sadness, but my perception of the book didn't suffer for it (unlike the second book I read on my vacation).

I brought four books on my vacation. This was the fourth one I read. I started it Thursday while waiting for my intercity bus, but I read the last 75% of it on Monday while traveling home on an intercity bus and two planes. I didn't liveblog my experience because these books are so captivating I have nothing to say. I read some of it sitting beneath a tree in an old cemetery waiting for my friend to pick me up because I spent too long exploring the new part of the cemetery that I wouldn't be able to walk back to the place I was staying in time.

Thank you so much for this recommendation. There's a lot of books under my To Read: tag and I don't read the majority of them. But you were right. I love this trilogy. Thank you. <3

[apostaterevolutionary]

i'm not sure if you've already talked about this but what are ur opinions about anders wanting to give fenris back to danarius and his whole banter w fenris about why he didn't just kill himself when he was a slave (among other very rude banter)? anders was like top 5 favorite characters for me until i found those clips on youtube, it kinda rubbed me the wrong way and now idk how i feel about him..

Hey sorry I never got notified about this ask? Tumblr didn’t want me to see it for some reason so I hope you’re still kicking around anon cause I do have thoughts on this!

First off, I’ll link 2 posts from my masterlist that have talked about this (Anders’ writing is frequently all over the place and this is the worst example, Anders never once compromises his ideals any other time so this is incredibly OOC). But I’m also going to go into a bit more detail myself as it’s been a while since I’ve meta’d and I miss it lmao

So IMO, Anders giving approval here is WILDLY out of character and a case of excessively bad writing. Anders is very much pro freedom and also has a spirit of Justice inside him who, even if you do go with the ‘well Justice was corrupted angle’, was concerned about Ser Pounce-a-lot in Awakening and equated having a pet to slavery. Here’s that banter:

Justice: I see that your feline companion remains with you.

Anders: He seems happy enough. Isn't that right, Ser Pounce-a-lot?

Ser Pounce-a-lot: (Meow!)

Justice: To enslave another creature does not seem just.

Anders: He's not a slave! He's a friend. And he's also a cat.

Justice: A cat that lacks freedom.

Anders: Just ignore him, Ser Pounce-a-lot. They don't have pets in the Fade, apparently.

Ser Pounce-a-lot: (Meow!)

I do not believe for a moment that Anders, even if he’s glad not to deal with Fenris anymore, would approve of that, and I believe Justice would actively and violently try to prevent it. There’s a lot of iffy writing in DA2 across all the characters and I put this in the same category. I’ve seen people say ‘well Anders just doesn’t like Fenris, he’d approve of Fenris going away whether it was to slavery or some sort of paradise’ but I personally put it on bioware’s insistence that these two must have this artificial rivalry that never gets worked out (despite that the two do have more in common than either fully realize - see the first post I linked for more on that)

If that isn’t a satisfactory answer for you, that’s your personal opinion. I follow canon to the point where it makes sense and then when it gets into territory I cannot rationalize, that’s when I either headcanon around it or discard it as bad writing. A lesser example would be how I refuse to believe Anders would not have mentioned Karl to a female Hawke. He straight up says he’s a possessed apostate, you think he’d shy away from the fact that he’s been with a man in a world with minimal demonstrated homophobia? It just doesn’t make sense

Another completely different but related example: misogyny as we know it exists in Thedas, despite this being a world where priests are women and their messiah is a woman who basically plays the role of jesus mixed with joan of arc. I find it hard to believe a world where a church this powerful is run by women, where women have this much political power, would be as patriarchal as it’s portrayed. Again, different issue but the point I’m making here is that the bioware writers are not perfect. They’re human and they have biases just like the rest of us. DA2 was also developed within less than a year, which means it’s got a lot of flaws that might have been polished if not for the short timeline. A few out of character lines and approvals aren’t surprising tbh

As for the asking about suicide thing, that does strike me as in character. It’s uh, maybe not the way to go about that discussion lmao, as Anders is being extremely blunt about a VERY sensitive topic. But I do think Anders was trying to connect with Fenris there. I strongly believe Anders has contemplated suicide (the solitary confinement aka torture for a year is enough in and of itself, not to mention the rest) and he thought, hey, maybe we could find some common ground here. We can understand each other. It doesn’t play out well, obviously, though whether Fenris is really unbothered because suicide is a sin, of course he wouldn’t have, or if he’s just having a very understandable ‘hey person I don’t like, can we not have this very personal discussion right now???’ moment. This one I honestly don’t hold against him because yeah, it’s crossing a line, but I don’t think he had any malicious intent with it. If it still bugs you, well, that’s your choice really. But I really do think it was a genuine if clumsy and insensitive attempt at showing their commonalities

Does Anders say some rude things during his banter? Absolutely he does, and so does Fenris, and Aveline, and Isabela, and pretty much everyone tbh (don’t even get me STARTED about Sebastian wanting to turn in Merrill and Anders to the Templars, that’s literally a banter he has). Do I think some of those things are out of line? Absolutely, though I’m more touchy about the way he is with Merrill as compared to Fenris because Fenris does the same to Anders (and Merrill, but me wishing everyone was nicer to Merrill always is a different topic lmao). Does that mean I love him any less? Nope, not at all, cause tbh most everyone in dragon age is kind of an asshole at some point lmao and I’m not going to hold those little snippets against him

[islandwrites]

Grace, I keep self-sabotaging and ruining opportunities for myself and don’t know how to stop. I got multiple emails from my dream companies with interview offers but didn’t respond. I procrastinate past deadlines. it’s probably due to my anxiety and ADHD, but whatever it is, it’s wrecking me.

I know you’re not on here regularly anymore, but you gave me great advice years ago, and I never forgot it. hope you’re doing well

babe! I'm so sorry that I didn't see this until right this very minute! tumblr was silly and didn't notify me. I hope it's not too late to help.

first I want to ask you why you haven't been able to respond. by finding the true answer to this question you will get to a place where you can begin to help yourself heal. now, I know that there have been times in my life, especially in my undergrad, where I could barely bring myself to open my email inbox because I was crushed by the very thought of the expectations that would await me once I had opened any new emails. this was partly due to exhaustion, but it was first and foremost because I was terrified of being any less than what others desired of me. I wanted to be perfect at everything and so I did nothing. is this ringing any bells?

it took me time and a lot of practice to realize that other people didn't care as much as I thought they did about how well I performed. my bosses, colleagues, classmates, and mentors were merely out here surviving, just like me, and at the end of the work day, they wouldn't remember whether I did or didn't achieve some particular goal or if I made this or that mistake. not to be cringe, but there's a scene in Schitt's Creek that communicates this lesson really well. David is anxious about renewing his driver's license because he is worried about what the examiner will think of him if he makes a mistake, and so he puts off the test until Alexis says "ugh *David,* literally nobody cares." I had a revelation when I heard this hard truth, which is somehow so simple yet had escaped me for so many years (and still escapes me sometimes).

for me, finding a way to START the work has always been about realizing that the work I do or don't do won't matter to anyone else at the end of the day except for ME, and maybe the communities I'm helping to serve. the higher-ups will go home and have a glass of wine and continue to live their lives and time will keep moving. realizing that you're only out here to impress YOU can be really liberating.

and then my love there's a much simpler answer to all this as well. ADHD can be really hard, I know--but there are medications out there for it. a friend of mine recently started on ADHD meds and texted me being like "WAIT THE WORLD IS THIS GOOD?" it's not always easy to get access to a diagnosis, but if you have the resources, use them. it could change your life.

if this was entirely unhelpful, pls do clarify for me what you're currently feeling and I'll try again. <3

[warlock0103]

man... the rp has died down a lot here since mirage left. maybe she was your artistic muse? have you thought of doing a starter call with her?

I got this ask a few days ago, and I was trying to think how best to reply to it, and the more I though about it, the more ranty it got. I'm sure you didn't mean anything rude by it, but I'll do a short version and put a more detailed version under a read more.

Mirage isn't gone, she's just not actively in my mind. If people want to RP with her, shoot me a message or an ask. A starter call wouldn't hurt, but that's for me to decide.

Mirage only left Cronus' village. The man she trusted had lied to her after she gave so much to him. She felt betrayed, used, and had no reason to stay with him. They left on friendly terms, but it'll be a bit before she's comfortable returning to his domain, if she ever does.

Also, around the time Mirage left, I got a full time job. Kinda need money to pay bills and to keep the heat on. And recent reasons for inactivity involve my computer issues as my old one slowly decided to kill itself.

As for RPs in general, my brain is constantly giving me the impression that I'm bothering people, so it's not easy for me to start conversations with people let alone start a story. Even people I've been friends with for years. This is why I usually RP with the same general people. Occasionally I'll send a message to someone new and hope they don't hate me, but I usually spend a day mentally preparing for that.

However, because of this, there's a new recent problem that I'm trying to come to terms with, that I'm just going to say here. Most of the active people I follow are heavily into the Trollhunter's fandom. And I've fallen out of it. I recently finished watching the first series a month ago, it was alright. When I was about to go to 3 Below, I just... Couldn't find the motivation.

The people I met in the fandom are fantastic, and I love all of them. But unlike with the last fandom I was a part of, it felt more like I was on the sidelines for the group as a whole. I was excited for it in the beginning, all the new people, the lore, characters that were fun to interact with, etc. But as time went on, it got more and more draining on me mentally to continue, and eventually I stopped. Some trolls didn't have that effect, like Bonely or Dezoka. I love them to bits and always enjoyed rps with them, but outside of them, my heart isn't in it as much as it used to be.

And on a final issue I've noticed, Tumblr's notification system either doesn't notify people I've replied, doesn't notify me that people have replied, or something. This has been an issue for a while now, but it seems to have gotten worse somehow as of late. Either that or people just get bored and don't tell me. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[emcon-imagines]

Fuuuuck I wrote you like a 1k birthday letter yesterday because I got too excited because I happened to be on my desktop and had resources to do a lot more and started rambling, it had screenshots of your gift's ready-made layout and guinea pigs and stuff and it apparently didn't send 😭 That was literally the only reason I visited Tumblr yesterday because my phone notified me because I had it marked into my calendar. And I don't have time to write another one like that today, so I'll do a shorter one.

So happy belated birthday ❤️ I'm sorry I don't have a gift even when you did that awesome collage for me with a character you don't even know (still looking at it quite often 😍). I had already planned out everyone's gifts till September and you were gonna get a video of Natasha with Halsey's Gasoline (the song sometimes changes upon starting to make it though but my plans had Gasoline as first choice) and I had downloaded clips I was gonna use and everything, I'm always prepared months before and usually do my gifts a month before at latest before the actual birthday to make sure I have time to fix any errors, a few errors are still left unnoticed every single time though 😅 But I know you understand my reasons.

You're the best friend one could have Emcon, and on top of that an awesome writer, and I hope your birthday was wonderful ❤️

Jenni!! Oh that's such a bummer that the first letter didn't send but that doesn't make your words here any less sweet and wonderful-- thank you for the happy birthday wishes!! I had an amazing birthday (and also I'm so happy you like that collage so much that makes me so happy!) Thank you for always being so thoughtful and kind and an awesome mutual. Please give the guinea pigs little kisses for me!!!

[castiel-left-his-mark-on-me]

I feel stupid and ungrateful because my story isn't that bad and I should be happy to have a "normal" life but I'm still writing this because I want to let it out. I have been depressed for over 10 years and still haven't seen a doctor about it. Because I'm afraid of being told off like I have been my whole life whenever I felt sad or anxious. My negative feelings never mattered to my mother, and my dad was always just there. He wasn't really abusive (at least not physically) but he wasn't a parent. He was just a guy living with us. Mom had to take care of everything. And as much as she tried her best, she let her own childhood trauma reflect in my and my siblings' upbringing. [My sister (40) is very co-dependent and my brother (39) has trouble forming and maintaining stable relationships.] Being the youngest, I was always told my opinions and feelings didn't matter. When I dropped out of college freshman year, the first thing my mom said is "you're breaking my heart." When I told her I dropped out because I was depressed, her response was "I had it worse than you when I was your age." Despite the fact that I was seriously considering ending my life. I lost all my friends when I dropped out. Nobody checked on me to see how I was. If it wasn't for the one friend who did reach out to me, I'd be dead. But nobody in my family knows. I tried telling my mom about these things but she always makes it about herself. This year has been especially bad. (I had to close down my business and had a lot of debt, eventually I found a job but my boss is abusive and controlling.) I don't know how much longer I can go on like this. I'm afraid that if I let myself crack, I'll be too far gone to be saved. I want to get better, get help, but I'm terrified of telling anyone how I really feel.

First of all-- I am so sorry I have taken so long to reply to this. Tumblr didn’t notify me that I had new asks; and second of all ... there is no scale of “good vs. bad” when it comes to depression and anxiety. If you feel it, you feel it. It just is and it’s hard no matter what your circumstances are. Your feelings are valid and they need to be taken seriously ... I take them seriously, and let me just say, I am glad you are alive.

I know how it is to have a mother who makes everything about herself. I know how draining and hurtful that can be, and I’m so sorry. I also understand being the youngest-- I was the youngest for most of my life, until my half sister was born when I was fourteen. My older brothers are either too dependent or too selfish to really care or be helpful in any way, so I often felt alone and neglected-- I still do. Feeling that way only makes establishing true friendships harder, but having that one real friend is literally the difference between life and death sometimes, and I am so glad that you had someone there to lean on when you needed it most.

I am so sorry to hear about your business, and I hope that you are actively looking for another job so you can get away from such a horrible boss. You deserve to feel safe and valued. You deserve to be able to relax when you lay down at night. You deserve to live without worry, and I hope you get to live that way soon.

I don’t know where you’re located, but I do know that a lot of countries have programs you can enroll in that can pay for therapy. I was enrolled in one for a time and it was so nice to know that I had that resource. I hope you can find something like that for you. Any good therapist or counselor will understand that your feelings are real and they won’t write you off. They will listen and they will guide you towards solutions that will help.

I know it’s hard right now-- and I feel a lot of the things that you do, but I also know that we can’t give up. You are important to the world and you’re important to me.

I am proud of you for surviving.

🖤  

[sanguineswanqueen]

I hope this isn't too personal, but I saw your post about meeting your wife on here, and I wanted to ask about that story? I've been following you for years but I don't actually know the story!

I met my girlfriend of 2 and a half years on a university group chat called Royal Hellagay (which still fascinates me), which I was only in because I didn't know how to leave. Your love for your wife is so lovely, so I just wanted to ask, if you want to share, of course!

Thank you, and have a lovely weekend! You're wonderful!

Absolutely! I love talking about my wife and never pass up an opportunity to talk about myself.

@callmequeenkate and I met on Tumblr in January of 2016. We had been mutuals for a while, and then she sent me a message and we started talking. We had a lot in common and started texting all day every day. We met in person like a week later and got crepes, and when we had stayed a weirdly long time at the crepe restaurant, I suggested we go next door for ice cream, where we talked for at least another hour.

Our first proper date was when we saw Carol in theaters. We drove stupidly far away and didn't get home until like crazy late and I remember slowly inching my hand over during the movie to hold hers.

She proposed in December of 2016 and we got married in 2018 right after I graduated college.

We also have fur babies!

Roxy is the big one who was originally my dog and Killian is the little one who was originally Kate's and they are the best of friends.

And of course our cats!

Salem and Sappho. Salem is the black one and she's sweet. Sappho is spicy.

I also think it's so wholesome that other gay people are meeting their girlfriends online. They say that gay dating is like job hunting, you either find one online or are referred through a friend.

Thank you for asking and you have a great weekend too!

Sorry if I took forever to reply to this btw! For some reason my inbox doesn't notify me of asks so I have to go in and check them manually every so often.

[maeday-gae]

hey! I think sent you an ask the other day (on anon), but I didn't think it went through. I just wanted to ask, how did you get into bayonetta?

Oh dang hi! I hope you haven't been waiting long, I only use Tumblr on mobile anymore and it doesn't notify me that I got asks. :/

I got into Bayonetta... I think in 2015? A good friend of mine recommend it to me and then sent me an Xbox 360 copy for Christmas.

I then live blogged my play sessions to her the entire time, including when I fell hard for the BayoJeanne ship XD and it was a glorious experience that drew me into the world.

Same friend came over to the states the next year and she and I got together to beat bayo2 in one 12 hour session. It was fantastic :D

(This friend is now my wonderful girlfriend whom I love a lot and share much bayo headcanons with 💖 )