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layce2015 · 10 months

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Supernatural (Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

What Is And What Should Never Be

Masterlist

*3rd Person POV*

Dean was driving down the road when his cell phone rings. "Yeah?" He said once he answers his phone. "There's a cop car outside." (Y/n) replied as her and Sam look out the window of the motel room to see a cop car outside.

"You think it's for us?" Dean asked her. "I don't know." She said, a bit nervous "I don't see how. I mean we ditched the plates, the credit cards." Dean said just as the cop car drives away. "They're leaving. False alarm." (Y/n) said, relieved. "Well, see. Nothing to worry about." Dean said.

"Yeah, being fugitives? Frigging dance party." She said with sarcasm and he chuckles a bit as (y/n) and Sam stand in front of a table, covered in books about a specific demon called Djinn, and on top of them is John's journal, open on the same subject.

"So you got anything yet?" She asked Dean. "Are you kidding me? How could I? You and Sam got me sifting through like 50 square miles of real estate here." Dean said. "Well, that's where all the victims disappeared." She replied.

"Yeah well, I got diddly-squat. What about you guys?" Dean asked. "Just one thing. We're pretty sure of it now." (Y/n) said as she pulls one book closer. "We're hunting a Djinn." She said. "A freaking genie?" Dean asked, shocked. "Yeah." She said.

"What? You guys think these suckers can really grant wishes?" Dean asked. "I don't know. I guess they're powerful enough. But not exactly like Barbara Eden in harem pants. I mean, Djinn have been feeding off people for centuries. They're all over the Koran." she said. "My God. Barbara Eden was hot, wasn't she? Way hotter than that Bewitched chick." Dean said and (y/n) sighs, exasperated.

"Are you even listening to me?" She asked, annoyed, then he clears his throat. "Yeah. So uh, where do the Djinns lair up?" He asked. "Ruins usually. Uh. Bigger the better – more places to hide." She replied. "You know, I think I saw a place a couple miles back. I'm gonna go check it out." Dean said. "Wait – no, no, no, no, no. Come pick us up first." (Y/n) said.

"Naw, I'm sure it's nothing. I just wanna take a look around." Dean said and he hangs up the phone. (Y/n) lowers her hand with the phone in it and sighs while Sam gives her a concerned look.

The Impala pulls up and almost comes to a stop in front of an old factory. Dean gets out then enters the factory, with a flashlight, swinging open a creaky door. He walks through what appears to be an abandoned office, with typewriter, file cabinets, etc. There's a dripping water sound, but otherwise it appears empty to him.

He looks back and forth in it a few times, and then starts walking back the same direction he came from but this time in the hall. On his right, among all the old things but what Dean doesn't know is that a figure, nearby, is watching him. He doesn't see it and walks on.

Suddenly, it attacks him, pinning him against the window wall. Dean drops the flashlight and the Djinn slams Dean's right hand up against a wall, forcing him to drop his knife.

The Djimm opens its left hand, which begins to glow blue, at the same time that the its eyes begin glowing. The Djimm puts its glowing hand on Dean's forehead and Dean's eyes roll up, and take on a faint blue hue.

Dean wakes up, bare-chested, and wearing a necklace that is not the amulet. He looks around to see a tv was on, playing some old movie. Then he looks to his left to see a nude woman lying next to him, but she had her back to him. He leans over to get a look at her, only to be shocked when he sees that the woman was (y/n).

He gets up, quickly, then looks around for a moment before he goes to get dressed and begin to walk around the apartment.

Sam, in another location, gets a phone call on his cell. He sees it's Dean and looks a little worried. "Dean?" Sam answered. "Sam?" Dean said, worried. "What's going on?" Sam asked. "I don't know. I don't know where I am." Dean said.

"What? What happened?" Sam asked, concerned. "Well, the uh, the Djinn. It attacked me." Dean replied. "The gin? You're...drinking gin?" Sam asked, confused. "No, asshat. The Djinn. The...scary creature. Remember? It put its hand on me and then I woke up...next to (y/n), who was with you..." Dean said and Sam furrows his brow in confusion.

"Why would (y/n) be with me?" Sam asked, confused. "Because you guys were doing research on the Djinn!" Dean exclaims and Sam laughs alittle. "Dean, you're drunk. You're drunk-dialing me." He said. "I am not drunk. Quit screwing around!" Dean growls at him.

"Look, it's late. All right, just get some sleep and, um, I'll...see you tomorrow. OK?" Sam said. "Wait, Sam! Sam!" Dean pleads but Sam hangs up, and flips his phone down, laughing a little. He sighs and slams shut a book he was reading.

Dean puts his phone back in his pocket, frustrated, and looks around. He sees an envelope, and picking it up, sees that it is addressed to:

(Y/n) (l/n)

53 BARKER AVE

LAWRENCE, KS 66044

"Lawrence?" He said, confused, then he looks at two more envelopes, which were addressed to him with the same address as (y/n)'s. "What the hell?" He mutters, confused.

"Dean?" A voice asked and Dean spins around to see (y/n) standing by the bedroom doorway, wearing a bathrobe. "What are you doing?" She asked as she starts to walk over to him. "Hey, (y/n), uh, I just uh..." he stammers and she smirks a bit at this.

"Does this mean I win?" She asked, smiling, and Dean looks at her confused. "Oh, now don't pull that crap on me, Winchester. We had a bet, remember? You made me watch that horror movie and said if one of us wakes up in the middle of the night first, the other gets to pick date night." She said and Dean gives a slight shake of his head.

"Yeah, yeah....sorry, it's just the dream I had was...pretty bad...couldn't go back to sleep." he said as he laughs, nervously. "Aww, my poor big, strong man." She said in a teasing tone as she walks up to him and places her hand on his chest. "Well, why don't you come back to bed and let's see if I can do anything to help." She said, in a seductive tone, which really made Dean go weak at the knees a bit. You have no idea how long I've wanted you to say something like that. He thought.

"Sure. Yeah. In a minute. You - you, you go ahead." He said and she smiles. "OK. Don't stay up too long." She said to him. "No." Dean said and (y/n) leans up and kisses him, warmly. As Dean kisses her back, he felt his heart leaping in his chest as this was something he had been waiting for for a long time. But something in the back of his mind was telling him that this isn't right.

They break the kiss and she walks back to the bedroom. Dean, meanwhile, goes to a bookshelf and sees a photo of (y/n), and another of him and (y/n) embracing. Then a picture, which made Dean's eyes widen, of the couple with (y/n)'s parents. He turns and sees something else shocking, he picks up another photo, and drops it, the glass shattering as it breaks. Dean turns on his heel and leaves the room.

He drives up in the Impala across the street. He shuts off the engine and goes over to his old house from his childhood. Dean begins banging on the door then rings the bell two times as well. The porch light turns on and the door opens. "Dean." Mary said, concerned. Dean just stares at her a few seconds, not believing his eyes. "Mom?" He said, his voice breaks almost like he's on the verge of crying.

"What are you doing here? Are you all right?" Mary asked, concerned. "I don't know." Dean said. "Well...come inside." She said and she steps aside and let's him in. "(Y/n) just called and said you just...took off all of a sudden." Mary said as she closes the door but Dean can't take his eyes off of her.

"(Y/n)? Right....Let me ask you a question. When I was a kid, what did you always tell me when you put me to bed?" He asked her. "Dean, I don't understand -" Mary said, confused. "Just answer the question." Dean said, with a hard tone. "I told you angels were watching over you." She replie and Dsan stares at her. "I don't believe it." He said and he walks over and hugs her tightly.

"Honey, you're scaring me." Mary said and Dean backs off. "Now just tell me what's going on." She said, worried. "You don't think that wishes can, can really..." Dean mutters. "What?" Mary asked. "Forget it." Dean said and he hugs her again. "Forget it. I'm just uh...I'm happy to see you, that's all." He said as he almost starts crying but pulls it together and releases the hug, looking down on Mary.

"You're beautiful." He said and he laughs a little. "What?" She asked, laughing. "Hey, when I was uh...When I was young was there ever a fire here?" He asked as he walks towards the wall, looking at the books and pictures. "No. Never." She replied.

"I thought there was." Dean said, slightly confused, then he sees a picture of John and Mary smiling with Dean and Sam as little kids in front of them. "I guess I was wrong." He mutters as he sees a picture of him, as a kid, in a cap, looking cool into the camera. Another picture of Dean and his prom date, clearly taken at prom.

Another of Sam as a graduate then another of picture Dean, Sam and (y/n) as teenagers. Dean picks up another picture, which is a black and white photo of John, dressed in baseball clothes with a cap and a baseball bat in his hand, ready to swing, smiling at the camera.

"Dad's on a softball team." Dean mutters to himself then he turns around, to see Mary looking at him, seriously. "Dad's...Dad's softball team. It's...That's funny to me." Dean said and Mary smiles, fondly. "He loved that stupid team." She said and Dean took notice of that. "Dad's dead? And the thing that killed him was a..." Dean said.

"A stroke. He died in his sleep. You know that." Mary finished for him. "That's great." Dean said. "Excuse me?" Mary asked, confused. "That - that's great. That he went peacefully, I mean. It sure beats the alternative." Dean said as he sets the photo back.

"You've been drinking." Mary said and Dean shakes his head. "No, I haven't. Mom." He said and she shakes her head. "I'm just gonna call (y/n) and have her come pick you up, OK?" She said as she goes to the phone.

"Wait. No, no!" Dean said as he puts his hand over Mary's, which is over the phone about to pick it up. "Don't - don't do that. Don't do that. I wanna stay here." He said. "Why?" Mary asked. "Because I-I miss the place. It's okay, you - you go to bed. Okay?" He said and he goes over to the couch, sits down, and looks around a bit.

Mary walks up to him, and strokes his face tenderly. "Are you sure you're all right?" She asked him. "I think so." Dean said, nodding. "Okay." She said and she bends down and kisses his forehead, like all mothers do. She starts out the room then stops by the door. "Get some rest. I love you." She said to him. "Me too." He said. She smiles and then goes to bed. Dean stays on the couch, looking perplexed.

The next morning, Dean wakes up on the couch to the sound of birds singing outside. When his eyes focus, he sees a picture of the whole family, including (y/n)'s family, the boys and (y/n) as kids and John is wearing a Santa hat, looking very happy. Dean opens his eyes completely, sitting up, confused. Then he dials his phone.

"Hey, it's me. I can't come to the pho-" Sam's voicemail said and Dean hangs up.

"Well I don't think I've seen you in my class before." The professor said as he stares at Dean. "You kiddin' me? I love your lectures. You...You make learning fun." Dean said and they laugh.

"So. What can I do for you?" The professor aske . "What can you tell me about Djinns?" Dean asked him.

Later, the two stand over a bunch of books, looking through them. "Well, a lot of Muslims believed the Djinn are very real. And they're mentioned in the Koran—" the professor started to explain until Dean interrupts him. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. Get to the wish part." He said, quickly.

"What about it?" The professor asked him. CDo you think they could really do it?" Dean asked. "Um...Uh, no. No, I don't think they can really do it. You understand these are mythic creatures?" The professor said and Dean nods. "Yeah, I know. I-I-I know. I know. But uh...I mean in the stories. You know, say you had a wish, uh. But you never even said it out loud. Like that, uh...that a loved one never died. Or that, uh, something awful never happened." Dean said.

"Supposedly, yes. I mean they have godlike power. They can alter reality however they want. Past. Present. Future." The professor said. "Why would the Djinn do it? What, self-defense? Or maybe it's not really evil." Dean said, questioning.

"Son? You been drinking?" The professor asked and Dean chuckles a bit. "Everybody keeps asking me that. But uh...No." he said.

Later, Dean opens the trunk to the Impala and sees only old magazines and paper cups and a rag in there, no guns or other weapons. "Well, who'd'a thought, baby. We're civilians." Dean laughs as he closes the trunk, and looks over at the building. A girl is standing in a white shirt, skirt and shoes, staring at him. Dean's smile fades as he senses something. He looks at her for a little while and then starts to cross the street, walking towards her.

Suddenly a car screeches to a halt as it avoids running into Dean. The driver hits the horn and Dean holds out his hand as he looks at the car. When he turns back towards the girl, she's gone. He looks puzzled for a moment, then turns back to the Impala.

Back at the Winchester house, Dean takes a bite out of a big sandwich, grunting 'cause of the goodness. "Mmm. Mmm. Mmm! This is the best sandwich, ever!" Dean said, calling out to Mary. "Thank you." She said from another room

"I tried to get hold of Sam earlier. Where - where - where is he?" Dean asked her. "Oh, he'll be here soon." Mary said. "Good. Dying to see him." He said. "Sweetie, I–I...Don't get me wrong. I am thrilled you are...hanging out here...all of a sudden." She said as she quickly strokes Dean's chin. "But uh...shouldn't you be at work?" She asked.

"Work?" Dean said, confused. "At the garage?" She said. "Right. The garage. It's where I work, yeah. No, I-I–I've got the day off." Dean snickers. "Heh. Good thing." He said as he takes another bite, again with the grunting of goodness.

Then he looks to the window. "That lawn looks like it could use some mowing." He points out. "You want to mow the lawn?" Mary asked. "You kidding me? I'd love to mow the law." He said. "Knock yourself out. You'd think you'd never mowed a lawn in your life." Mary said. Dean shrugs, thinking that no, he never has mowed a lawn. He looks all kinds of happy about the prospect of doing so.

Dean starts the lawnmower then begins to mow the lawn, looking really happy, enjoying it. He's not very adept at it. He sees the neighbor across the street putting out the garbage. He waves to him like a regular guy does in this regular world. The neighbor waves back, telegraphing surprise with his wave, and then Dean continues the mowing.

After he finishes, Dean was sitting on the steps to the front porch, drinking a beer, feeling happy when a car drives up and parks at the curb. "I don't believe it." Dean mutters.

He gets up to go greet Sam and Jessica, who are getting out of the car. Dean attacks Jessica with a hug while Sam takes out the luggage from the trunk. "Jessica." Dean said, happily, as he hugs her, tightly. "Agh! You're, uh...Good to see you too Dean." She said as Dean laughs. "Can't breathe, okay." She tells him and he lets go.

"Sammy." Dean said to him.

"Hey." Sam greets as Dean smiles. "Look at you. You're with Jessica, it's - I don't believe it." He laughs. "Yeah." Sam said, uncertain. "Where'd you guys come from?" Dean asked him. "We just flew in from...Califor–"

"California! Stanford. Huh? Law school, I bet." Dean said, interrupting Sam. Sam chuckles, somewhat disapprovingly, then motions to the beer in Dean's hand. "I see you started off Mom's birthday with a bang, as usual." He said and Dean stops and stares. "Wait. Mom's birthday, that's, that's today?" He asked. "Yeah. Yeah, Dean. That's today. That's why we're here. Don't tell me you forgot." Sam said and Dean looks a bit dumbfounded.

Suddenly, there was another car horn and they look over to see a new car pulling up. "Oh, looks like (father's name) and (mother's name) are here." Sam said and Dean stares as (y/n)'s parents get out of their car and Mary comes out of the house.

"(Mother's name)! (Father's name)!" Mary said, happily, and the two women go and hug each other then Mary hugs (father's name). "You made it!" Mary said to them. "Well, of course! You didn't think we would miss your birthday!" (Mother's name) said as they chuckle and Dean, Sam and Jessica walk up to them.

"Dean! What a surprise!" (Mother's name) said as she goes to hug him. "Hey, (mother's name)." Dean said, smiling, as he hugs her back. Then Dean looks over at (father's name), who was giving him a stern look. "Hey, (father's name)." Dean greets. "Dean." (Father's name) greets in a stern tone.

"Oh, (father's name), stop it." (Mother's name) said as he glances over at his wife for a moment then turns to face Sam. "Samuel! How are you?" He greets in a much friendlier tone than he did with Dean, which makes Dean look at this confused as Sam talks to (father's name).

That night at a restaurant, they're all sitting at a round table as Dean gets served a plate with asparagus spears bound into an upright sheaf. "Wow, that... looks awesome." Dean said as everyone chuckles. "All right. To Mom." Sam said as he raises a glass. "Happy birthday." He said as everyone raises their glass too.

"Happy birthday." Jessica, (father's name), (mother's name) and (y/n) said in unison. "Thank you." Mary said and they all clink their glasses in a cheer. "To mom." Dean said and he watches as Sam and Jessica kiss and smiles at them. (Y/n) then leans towards Dean, a look of worry on her face.

"I was really worried about you last night." She whispered to him. "Oh I'm...I'm good. I'm really good." He replied to her. "Okay. What do you say, later we get you a cheeseburger?" (Y/n) asked and Dean smiles. "Oh God, yes." He said and she smiles. "How did I end up with such a wonderful woman?" He asked her. "Years of wearing you down until you finally asked me out." She teased and Dean laughs then kisses her.

"All right. Jess and I actually have another surprise for Mom's birthday." Sam said then he turns to Jess. "Ah...You wanna tell 'em?" He asked her. "They're your family." Jess said, smiling. "All right." Sam said and Mary looks between them, smiling in anticipation.

"What? Tell me what?" She asked. Sam holds up Jessica's left hand, showing of an engagement ring on her finger. Mary laughs happily and (y/n)'s parents applaud and smile. "Oh my God! That's so wonderful." Mary exclaims, happily, and she gets up and hugs Jessica, who's also gotten up. Sam, (y/n) and her parents get up as well, while Dean still sits.

"Congratulations." (Y/n) said as she hugs Jess. "Thank you." Jess said then (y/n) turns to Sam. "Congratulations, Sammy." She said. "Thank you." Sam said as Mary goes and hugs him then (father's name) shakes his hand and (mother's name) hugs him.

"I just wish your dad was here." Mary said to Sam. "Yeah. Me too." Sam said, sadly. "Jessica, let me see that ring." Mary said to Jess and the women all gather around Jess as Dean goes up to Sam. "Congratulations Sammy." He said. "Thanks." Sam said.

"I'm really glad you're happy." Dean said to and Sam looks a little puzzled at Dean's intensity. Dean looks over his shoulder and sees the same girl he saw on campus. She looks much filthier this time. Dean brushes past Sam and walks over. Sam turns around when Dean hits his shoulder while passing by.

Dean passes a lot of people and when he passes the last one, the girl is gone. He turns around and looks at his family, as they stand looking at him, wondering what's up.

"So, Dean, what was uh...what was all that back at the restaurant?" Sam asked Dean as they enter Mary's house. "Ah... I-I thought I saw someone. I'm sure it's nothing." Dean said. "Well, I had a lovely birthday. Thank you. Good night." Mary said. "Good night." Jess and (y/n) said. "Good night." Dean said. "Night, Mom." Sam said then he turns to the others. "Yeah, well I'm beat." He said then he turns to Jessica.

"Ready to turn in?" He asked. "Sure." Jess said. "All right. Good night guys." Sam said. "Wait a second. Wait a second. Come on, it's not even nine o'clock yet. Let's uh...Let's go have a drink or something." Dean said and Sam gives him a weary look. "Yeah, maybe another time." Sam said.

"Come on, man. Look at us. Huh? We both have beautiful women on our arms. You're engaged. Let’s go celebrate." Dean said to him but there was an awkward silence after thar. Then Sam turns to the girls. "Guys, can you excuse us? I just want to talk to my brother for a sec." He said.

"Sure." Jess said while (y/n) gives a worried look to the boys. "Sam, please don't start." She said. "It'll be fine, (y/n)." Sam said and (y/n) sighs at this and she and Jess leave the room

"Come here." Sam said, onc she turns to Dean, as he walks to the other side of the living room. "What?" Dean asked as he follows. "Okay. What's gotten into you?" Sam asked.

"What do you mean?" Dean asked, confused. "I mean this whole warm, fuzzy ecstasy-trip thing." Sam said. "I'm just happy for you, Sammy." Dean replied. "Yeah, right. That's another thing. Since when do you call me Sammy?" Sam asked as Dean stares at him.

"Dean, come on. We don't talk outside of holidays. God, knows (y/n) has tried her hardest to get us to talk." Sam said. "We don't? Well, we should. I mean, you're my brother." Dean said and Sam scoffs. "You're my brother?" He said, repeating Dean's words. "Yeah." Dean said, laughing.

"You know, that's what you said when you snaked my ATM card, or when you bailed on my graduation, or when you hooked up with Rachel Nave." Sam said. "Who?" Dean asked. "Uh, my prom date. On prom night." Sam said. "Yeah, that does kinda sound like me." Dean mutters before he speaks up. "Well, hey man, I'm sorry about all that." He said and he walks towards Sam, who backs away.

"No that, look, that's all right man, I-I just...You know I'm not asking you to change. I-I just, uh, ...I don't know, I...guess we just don't really have anything in common. You know?" Sam said and Dean blinks before Sam starts to walk away.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yes we do. Yes we do." Dean said before he laughs. "What?" Sam asked. "Hunting." Dean replies, like it was obvious. "Hunting? I've never been hunting in my life, Dean." Sam said to him. "Yeah, well, then we should go it sometime. I...I think you'd be great at it." Dean said and Sam starts to walk away again.

"Get some rest." Sam tells him and he walks away, leaving Dean in the living room.

Back at his home, Dean was sitting on the sofa, thinking, his brow furrowed when (y/n) offers him a beer. "My favorite. I guess you know me pretty well." He said and she laughs. "Perks of knowing you since I was about twelve years old."

Dean chuckles, softly, beforeshe looks down again and she frowns at this. "You all right?" She asked him. "Sammy and I...We don't get along." Dean mutters and (y/n) sighs at this. "Yeah, you two have had a rocky relationship." She remarked.

"Sam said that you've been trying to get us to talk." Dean said and she nods, slightly. "Well, yeah...you two are brothers and I hate to see you two this broken. But I think Sam's given up on trying to work it out as you have broken his trust one too many times." She said.

"And your dad doesn't seem to like me." Dean said and she waves a hand, vaguely, at this and said. "You know him, he's just being this overprotective dad. He's slowly getting over it, mainly is cause I think mom is wearing him down. She adores you." She said to him as he thinks for a moment.

"I can fix things with Sam. I can make it up to him. To everyone." Dean said and (y/n) smiles. "Okay. What's gotten into you lately?" She asked as she raises an eyebrow at him. "This isn't gonna make a lick of sense to you. But I kind of feel like I've been given a second chance. And I don't wanna waste it." He said. "You're right, that doesn't make any sense—" (y/n) said, chuckling.

Dean then leans in and kisses her. "You know, I get it." He said. "Get what?" (Y/n) asked. "Why you're the one." He said and she smiles. "Well?" She said as he kisses her again. "Whatever's gotten into you...I like it." She said and they begin to kiss, passionately.

"Ohhh...come on! Don't do this to me now. I've gotta get ready for work." She groans and she gets off the couch, leaving Dean sitting with his hands as if she was still between them. "You got to work now?" He asked. "I told you. I've got the night shifts on Thursday." (Y/n) said to him and he starts to get up.

"You work nights at the, uh..." he said and he goes to their shared bedroom to see (y/n) standing by the closet, taking out scrubs. Dean stands in the doorway. "…hospital." He said. "I'm dating a nurse. That is so...respectable." he said and she smiles and giggles at his words.

Later that evening, after (y/n) left, Dean was on the couch, putting his feet on the table, drinking beer and watching TV. He changed the channel to the stock market, cartoon, and then the news. He sees a land plane and hear a reporter. "And today marks the anniversary of the crash of United Britannia Flight 424." The reporter said and this gets Dean's attention and he leans forward as he continues to watch.

"Indianapolis residents held a candlelight vigil in memory of the hundred and eight people who lost their lives..." the reporter said and Dean shakes his head. "No, no. I stopped that crash." He mutters.

Then he goes to his laptop reading headlines that relate to cases he has solved.

Indianapolis Sun, December 5TH, 2005 - FLIGHT 424 CRASHES, 108 DEAD; Tragedy shocks the nation, as emergency crews continue to search rubble...

Nine Children Comatose; ... Mystery illness baffles doctors at Dane County Hospital

Parents mutilated in bed..; …Brutal double homicide in quiet residential area causes shock

GIRL DROWNS IN HOTEL POOL; Mother devastated after discovering daughter drowned

He catches a glimpse of a passing figure, a woman in white; maybe the same woman he has seen twice now. He gets up to see what it is. He opens his bedroom closet door and sees several female corpses, hanging. He hears a sound and turns around to see another woman, with a wound in her head, flickering in front of him.

He pants, shocked, and turns back around to the closet – to see nothing out of the ordinary.

Later, Dean was standing by John's grave, staring at it in sadness. "All of them. Everyone that you saved, everyone Sammy, (y/n) and I saved. They're all dead. And there's this woman, that's haunting me. I don't know why. I don't know what the connection is, not yet anyway. It's like my old life is, is coming after me or something. Like it like it doesn't want me to be happy." He said. "Course I know what you'd say. Well, not the you that played softball but...So go hunt the Djinn. He put you here, it can put you back. Your happiness for all those people's lives, no contest. Right?" He said then he becomes angry.

"But why? Why is it my job to save these people? Why do I have to be some kind of hero?" He asked and he begins to cry while talking. "What about us, huh? What, Mom's not supposed to live her life, Sammy's not supposed to get married? (Y/n) and I can't have a normal life together? Why do we have to sacrifice everything, Dad? It's..." Dean said then his lips tremble. Then he hears the sky rumbling and tears begins to falls on his cheek.

"Yeah..." he mutters and he wipes the tears on his cheeks. Then he turns around and walks away.

Back at the Winchester house, Sam was fast asleep when, suddenly, he hears a noise downstairs and he wakes up. He comes down the stairs, quietly, with a bat in his hand then he stops in the doorway, leaning looking into the living room.

He sees the window open and under it, someone is in one of the cabinets. Sam goes in, swinging, but the person gets up and counterattacks, throwing him on the floor. "That was so easy, I'm embarrassed for you." A voice said and Sam looks to see that it was Dean.

"Dean? What the hell are you doing here?" Sam asked him as Dean gets up, letting Sam get up off the floor. "I was looking for a beer." Dean replied. "In the china cabinet?" Sam asked as he goes to turn on the light and sees the box with their parents' silverware on the floor, open.

"That's Mom's silver." Sam said as he looks at Dean, upset. "Sam." Dean mutters and Sam becomes angry. "What, you...you broke into the house...to steal Mom's silver?" He asked, angrily. "It's not what it looks like. OK, I didn't have a choice." Dean said to him. "Oh really? Why? What's so damn important you gotta steal from your own mother?" Sam asked.

"You want the truth?" Dean asked. "Yeah, yeah I do." Sam said and Dean shrugs. "I owe somebody money." He replied. "Who?" Sam asked. "A bookie. I lost big on a game, I gotta bring him the cash tonight." Dean said.

"I can't believe we're even related." Sam grumbles. "Sam, I'm sorry." Dean said. "Yeah." Sam mutters, quietly. "I'm sorry that we don't get along. And I wish to hell I could stay and fix it. But I gotta do this. People’s lives depend on it." Dean said to him. He turns around and take a knife from the box.

"What are you talking about, Dean?" Sam asked him. "Nothing. Forget it. Just uh...hey, tell Mom I love her." Dean said. Sam frowns, seeing that something is up, as Dean goes for the door. "Dean." Sam said, worried, and Dean turns around. "I'll see you, Sammy." Dean said and he walks out the door, taking one last look at the house and Sam.

Sam stands in the living room where Dean left him, confused, then he hear the Impala's engine start.

Dean was sitting in the car, engine going, thinking, when, suddenly, the passenger door opens and Sam gets in the car. "Get out of the car." Dean tells him. "I'm going with you." Sam said. "You're just gonna slow me down." Dean tells him. "Tough." Sam said, firmly.

"This is dangerous and you could get hurt." Dean said to him. "Yeah, and so could you, Dean." Sam said.

"Sam—"

"Look, whatever stupid thing you're about to do, you're not doing it alone. And that's that." Sam said to Dean, firmly. "I don't understand. Why you doing this?" Dean asked him and Sam sighs. "Because you're still my brother." Sam said and Dean stares at him for a moment.

"Bitch." Dean mutters and Sam gives him a confused look. "W–hat are you calling me a bitch for?" He asked, offended. "You're supposed to say jerk." Dean said to him. "What?" Sam asked and Dean shakes his head. "Never mind." He mutters and he puts the Impala in gear and they drive off.

As they drive down the road, Sam looks down on a bag on the seat between them. "What's in the bag?" He asked, sighing. "Nothin'." Dean replied. "Nothin'?" Sam asked. "Yeah, nothin'." Dean said. "Fine." Sam said and he grabs the bag and begins to open it.

"You don't wanna do that." Dean said. "Oh really?" Sam asked. And he takes out what was in the bag. It's a container of blood. "What the hell is this?" Sam asked, staring at the container. "Blood." Dean replied, flatly. "Yeah, I can see that it's blood, Dean! What the hell is it doing in here?" Sam asked, upset. "You don't really wanna know." Dean said.

"No I-I do really wanna know. I really, really, do." Sam said. "Yeah, well you're gonna find out sooner or later. I needed a silver knife dipped in lamb's blood." Dean replied. "You needed a silver knife dipped in lamb's blood, why?" Sam asked. "Because there's this creature. A Djinn. And I have to hunt it." Dean said.

"Okay, um...stop the car." Sam said. "I know how it sounds." Dean said. "Great. Just...stop the car." Sam said, again. "It's the truth, Sam. All right, there are things out there in the dark. There – there – there are bad things. There are nightmare things. And people have to be saved and if we don't save them, then nobody will." Dean tells him.

"Look, I wanna help you, all right. I-I really, really do, but you're having some kind of psychotic breakdown, so, I...just –" Sam said. "I wish." Dean mutters and Sam picks up his phone and starts dialing a number. Dean rolls down his window, grabs Sam's phone, throws it out, and then rolls up the window again.

"What the hell was that, Dean? That was my phone!" Sam yells. "I'm not going to a rubber room, Sammy. And we got work to do." Dean said to him. "What? I was just trying to help you out, Dean. I don't, I don't want you to get yourself hurt." Sam said.

"What? You protect me?" Dean asked him. "Yeah!" Sam exclaims and Dean laughs. "Oh, that's hilarious. Why don't you just sit tight and try not to get us both killed." Dean tells him and be starts the radio and the music blares out.

The Impala drives up between the factory and stops in between two buildings. Dean looks over at Sam, who is asleep. DeN picks up his flashlight and shines it on his face. Sam wakes with a start. "Where are we?" Sam asked. "Well, we're not in Kansas anymore." Dean said as he chuckles at Sam. When there's no reaction, the smile dies.

"Illinois." Dean said. "And you think something's in there?" Sam asked. "I know it is." Dean said and they get out if the car and head towards the building.

"See? There's nothing here, Dean." Sam said as the boys walk along the the building, Dean holding his flashlight. "Look, (y/n)'s gotta be worried sick about you, Dean. Come on, let- let's just go." Sam said after walking for a few minutes until they hear a sound. "Shh!" Dean said to him

"What the hell is that?" Sam asked him. "Stay behind me and keep your mouth shut." Dean said and they head into a large room. There they see bodies hanging from the ceiling appearing before them. It's the same bodies Dean saw in his closet earlier. There was a drained blood bag hanging next to one of the bodies.

"What the hell?" Sam asked as Dean looks further to the right, and the woman Dean has been seeing was hanging like the bodies. They approach her and see another blood bag next to her, filled with blood. Her eyes are open, but she looks close to dead.

"It's her." Dean mutters and Sam looks at the bag and at her wrists that are tied, just like the others. She begins to moan and whimper. "Dean, what's going on?" Sam asked then Dean grabs him. "Shh!" He said as he sees the Djinn is coming out.

When it comes out from behind a wall and walks up behind the woman, the guys are gone. "Where's my dad?" The woman crys. "I won't tell..." she sobs as she looks at the Djinn. "Don't." She moves her feet away from the Djinn. "Where's my dad." She cries as Sam and Dean, who were behind a shelf, watches.

The Djinn touches her face. "Sleep." He whispers as some blue flares go over her cheek while he strokes her. The Djinn's eyes glow bright blue. "Sleep...Sleep." he continues and her head falls forward, eyes still open and her feet relaxes, falling forward again.

The Djinn rests his face against her arms, touching her right arm and breathing heavily, eyes closed. He then goes for the blood bag, pulls out one straw and puts it to his mouth, drinking her blood. Sam sees this and gags in disgust.

The Djinn hears this, and turns around right away; its eyes flash blue and he begins to move towards their hiding place. When he gets there, the guys are gone. The Djinn walks up some creaky steps while the boys were standing below them, looking up, following his steps.

When a door closes, Sam begins to breathe loudly. "This is real? You're not crazy?" Sam asked while Dean stares at the woman. "She didn't know where she was. She thought she was with her father." Dean said, thinking aloud.

Then the boys walk up to the woman again. "What if that's what the Djinn does? It doesn't grant you a wish, it just makes you think it has." He mutters. "Look man. That thing could come back, all right?" Sam said, worried, but Dean walks past Sam in the opposite direction of the woman.

He looks up at a light bulb and it starts to flicker in brighter light. "Dean, please." Sam pleads and Dean starts to breath, heavily. "What if I'm like her? What if I'm tied up in here some place? What if all this is in my head?" Dean asked then he walks up to the woman. "I mean it could, you know, maybe it gives us some kind of supernatural acid, and then just feeds on us slow." Dean said.

"No. Dean, that doesn't make sense. OK?" Sam said. "What if that's why she keeps appearing to me? She's not a spirit. It's - it's like more and more like I'm catching flashes of reality. You know, like I'm in here somewhere, and I'm - I'm catatonic, and I'm taking all this stuff in but I, but I can't snap out of it." Dean said.

"Yeah, OK, look. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right. I was wrong. You're not crazy but we – we – we need to get out of here. Fast." Sam said and hs starts to pull Dean with him. Dean pulls his arm loose from Sam, who looks at him and throws his arms out like what?

"I don't think you're real." Dean said. Sam, agitated, sucks in a breath. "Dude, you feel that?" H asked as he grabs Dean by the arms. "You feel this? I'm real. This is not an acid trip. I'm real, and that thing is gonna come down here and kill us for real. Now, please—" Sam said.

"There's one way to be sure." Dean said and he pulls out the silver knife. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing?" Sam asked, backing away. "It's an old wives' tale. If you're about to die in a dream, you wake up." Dean said and Sam shakes his head. "No, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's crazy. All right?" Sam said.

"Maybe." Dean said with a determined look. "You're gonna kill yourself—" Sam said as he walks up to Dean but Dean holds out the knife and his other hand to stop him. "OK." Sam said.

"Or I'm gonna wake up. One or the other." Dean said. "OK. This isn't a dream, all right. I'm here, with you, now. And you're about to kill yourself, Dean." Sam said. "No, I'm pretty sure. Like, 90% sure. But I'm sure enough." Sam said and he turns the knife on himself, takes both his hands to the handle, ready to thrust it into himself.

"WAIT!" Sam shouts and Dean stops. Suddenly, Mary walks up next to Dean, in the same nightgown that she died in. Behind Sam, (y/n) appears. "Why'd you have to keep digging?" Sam asked him as Dean looks back at Mary as Jess appears on his right side.

"Why couldn't you have left well enough alone?" Sam asked as Dean looks around. "You were happy." said Sam and Mary comes up in front of Dean. "Put the knife down, honey." Mary said and tears form into Dean's eyes.

"You're not real. None of it is." He said. "It doesn't matter. It's still better than anything you had." Mary said. "What?" Dean asked. "It's everything you want. We're a family again. Let’s go home." She said and Dean shakes his head. "I'll die. The Djinn'll...drain the life out of me in a couple of days." Dean said, his voice breaking.

"But in here, with us, it'll feel like years. Like a lifetime." Mary said and Dean looks over at Sam, who half-smiles and nods to him. "I promise." Mary said as she takes his chin in her hand, and he looks down on her. "No more pain." She said as she strokes his cheek. "Or fear. Just love and comfort. And safety. Dean, stay with us." Shd said and she strokes his other cheek and he leans into her hand, closing his eyes "Get some rest." She said.

"You don't have to worry about Sam anymore." Jess said and Dean looks over at her. "You get to watch him live a full life." She said and Mary steps away, and (y/n) walks up to him, taking his face in her hands then kissed him. "We can have a future together. Have our own family. I love you, Dean. Please." She pleads, softly, and Sam walks up to him.

"Why is it our job to save everyone? Haven't we done enough?" Sam asked, echoing what Dean said earlier. "I'm begging you. Give me the knife." Sam said and Dean looks at (y/n), Sam and Mary with tears in his eyes. Then he backs away looking at the floor. He raises his head, looking at Sam and (y/n).

"I'm sorry." He whispers and he thrusts the knife into himself, and blood immediately comes out of his mouth.

*(y/n)'s POV*

"DEAN! DEAN! Dean." Sam and I shouted as we walk up to Dean, who was hanging from the ceiling, a blood bag hangs next to him. "Oh God. Come on." Sam whispered as we shake him. "Hey. Wake up. Wake up, damn it!" I said, panicked, and Dean grunts a little. His eyes begin to focus on us.

"Hey. Hey." Sam said as we shake him awake. "Ahh...Auntie Em. There's no place like home." Dean mutters and I let out a sigh of relief. "Thank God. I thought I lost you for a second." I whispered as Sam pulls out the tube in Dean's throat. "You almost did." Dean whispers and I smiled at him.

"Oh God." Sam said as he breathes, heavily. "Let's get you down." He said and Sam reaches up and starts to cut through the rope as Dean winces over the pain and grunts a little. "(Y/n)! SAM!" Dean yells and I turn around, see the Djinn then I go to the Djinn with the knife.

The Djinn knocks me down then goes after Sam for a moment, gets him to drop the knife. I shake my head and see that the Djinn had got the upper hand on Sam, and is holding him by the throat. The Djinn's hand was glowing blue, and he is moving it toward Sam's forehead, but Sam was struggling, pushing against his wrist and trying to stop him.

I grabbed my knife and thrust the knife into the back of the Djinn. Then I pull the knife out and it falls to the ground dead. Sam breathes heavily from being strangled and I help him up and go over to help Dean down, who doesn't look too good as he was pale and with red-rimmed eyes.

Once we get him down, we walk up to the girl. He puts his hand to her neck, feeling for a pulse. A tear rolls down one of her cheeks. "She's still alive!" Dean said and he pulls out the tube in her neck as I cut her rope. Dean and Sam catch her as she goes down.

"We gotcha. We gotcha. We're gonna get you out of here, OK? We gotcha." Dean said as the girl makes small wheezing sounds while I watch Dean and Sam help her down. "We got you." He said.

"OK, uh, thank you so much for the update. OK, bye." Sam said into his phone as Dean and I were sitting on the edge of a hotel bed. Dean was looking down and I placed a hand on his shoulder. He looks at me and I give a reassuring smile then he smirks back and takes my hand in his.

"That was the hospital. Girl's been stabilized. Good chance she's gonna pull through." Sam said once he hangs up his phone and comes up to us. "That's good." Dean said and Sam nods.

"How 'bout you? You all right?" I asked Dean and he clears his throat. "Yeah, I'm all right. You should have seen it, guys. Our lives. You were such a wussy, Sam." Dean said, chuckling.

"So we didn't get along then, huh?" Sam asked. "Nah." Dean said. "I thought it was supposed to, to be this perfect fantasy." I said, questioning. "It wasn't. It was just a wish. I wished for Mom to live. That Mom never died, we never went hunting and all of us just never uh...you know." Dean said.

"Yeah. Well, I'm glad we do. And I'm glad you dug yourself out, Dean." Sam said and I nodded. "Yeah, me too. Most people wouldn't've had the strength, would have just stayed." I said. "Yeah...Lucky me. I gotta tell you though, guys. You know, you had Jess, Sam. Mom was gonna have grandkids...(y/n), your parents were alive." He said.

"Yeah, but...Dean...it wasn't real." Sam said. "I know. But I wanted to stay." Dean said as he looks sad and lost. "I wanted to stay so bad. I mean, ever since Dad...all I c– all I can think about is how much this job's cost us. We've lost so much. We've...sacrificed so much." Dean said and I go and remove my hand out of his and wrap it around his shoulder.

"But people are alive because of you." I said and Dean scoffs. "She's right. It's worth it, Dean. It is. It's not fair, and...you know, it hurts like hell, but...it's worth it." Sam said and Dean looks at us then down again, sadly and pensively.

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unlikelyjapan · 9 months

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s2e9 rewatch notes (part 1)

Omelette - I'm hoping I can pull through and finish this rewatch in its entirety before I leave on vacation. While the analysis is fun, the actual act of watching the show feels very masochistic vs. last season, which I must have watched a dozen times.

The-not-sexy-sex-scene: It's interesting that the credits start to roll on a black backdrop before we even get the blue-hued (read: frozen) sex scene, and its set to a song that was written about a death/funeral (The Day the World Went Away by NIN).

As a bit of context, Trent Reznor's grandmother (who raised him after his parents flaked out) died right before the release of The Fragile, and this song was thought to be written as a reflection of her funeral. I know they didn't include any lyrics in the scene (that would be too on-the-nose for a director that delights in subterfuge), but in no world is this a happy or lustful track - it's frail, wistful, and entirely about something (someone) that has been lost.

There's some laughter in there, if you squint, but it's mostly intense and needy glances replete with swinging chain for the feral audiences sake. The stark/open "little death" eyes at the end (as Claire is presumably sleeping ) punctuate the scene UNTIL....

.....Sydney is buttoning up her coat (i.e. getting frigging dressed) in the very next beat, frustration in her voice as she notices the stains on her whites (God, is this a sheets parallel?) .

This is hot on the trail of her getting undressed (revealing her 3 of swords tattoo) at the end of s2e7 as Carmy and Claire make out in the split montage, which is the only reason I'm thankful this was released as a binge series this year.

There's not much more to elaborate on here that hasn't been discussed in this brilliant analysis by @belassima- the classic "getting dressed after a sexual encounter" trope turned on its head. We don't see Claire again until friends & family, and this is wholly on purpose. I'm suing Christopher Storer for damages after the series finale.

Syd and her Dad have such an enviable synergy - but you can tell she's over leaning on him as her "person". He's checking in on her stomach (foreshadowing the dumpster scene) and acts as her lone hype man. "I don't know how you do what you do, but I am excited".

Emmanuel - "I never want you to feel like you have to make everything the thing."

a.k.a - "You know, there are other fish in the sea."

Sydney - "Why can't we put everything we have into everything that we can"

a.k.a - "I want to funnel everything into catching this one - this is a borrowed quote from my soulmate business partner."

Emmanuel - "Baby, if that's true, then why put so much pressure on this one?"

a.k.a - "What is the reason/what is so particularly special about this fresh hell you've been subjecting yourself to?"

Sydney - "Because.....I don't know if I could do another one"

Ok - more nuance is required here. According to Syd hivemind, the answers range from "Syd's been burned in a relationship/partnership before", "Syd also has Lupus", or purely "Syd has failed too many times and is scared". We still don't know enough about her past, but I tend to look at this through a strictly fearful/nihilistic prism - she feels like she can't take any more heartache (along with the physical and financial ramifications) from another crash-and-burn endeavor.

But Emmanuel's worried eyes tell a bigger story after she delivers this line, so.....I dunno! I hope S3 covers this understanding gap in a big way.

Strange Currencies playing overhead of the city, taking us to the ally where Carmy is having THE panic attack. I transcribed every image he cycles through while the song plays backwards:

*Sex scene of Carmy staring down expressionless at Claire in bed, Claire leaning down to kiss Carmy.

*An old picture of Claire staring straight ahead, a Sweet 16 birthday picture of her sticking out her tongue in a tiara, one of Carmy's drawing of her with glasses from class. Cut to a flash of Claires face with a wry smile in sepia lighting, followed by another one that is similar but almost taunting. These sepia images get creepier as the panic attack escalates, but also more focused.

*Another drawing of Claire smiling with glasses with Mikey's voice echoing in the background "the motherfucking glasses came off!"

*Another old picture of Claire smiling without glasses, followed by another.

*Mikey and Richie and another "the motherfucking glasses came off!" soundbite.

*Drawing of Claire in glasses again for a brief flash, followed by Carmy and Claires first kiss at The Bear.

*"Carm, this is a good thing" with Stevie, as Carmy crumples to the ground in the ally.

*Claire up-close in sepia sort of half-wistful/half-scruitinizing Carmy

*Donna screaming "fuck you" and Mikey braying at the dinner table, Lee reacting, a dish smashing.

*Sepia Claire turning and smiling to the camera.

*More braying and fuck-you's from Mikey and Lee

*Just Claire's eyes in Sepia-mode, staring across at him with a joker-esque smile as the braying and swearing and fighting continues.

*Donna screaming "are you motherfuckers okay!?"

*The drawings of The Bear in Mikey's hands, him looking up affectionately at Carmy.

*Donna slapping Carmy - Carmy looks up in the ally as if something has slapped him out of it.

Donna and Mikey summon Sydney after this - Mikey with the acknowledgment of his dream (The Bear) and an ounce of brutality from Donna (as in: how dare you care about me, Carmen). These two figures, engines of chaos and trauma, steer him towards Sydney's first words to him.

"Hi, Hello..."

*Strange currencies - "These words* You were the most excellent CDC at the most excellent restaurant in the entire United States of America. What are you doing here I guess?" *you will be mine. You will be mine all the time*

I....I don't understand how the panic attack is ambiguous for people off of this site. I don't understand why it's not noted in reviews and think pieces. I don't understand why otherwise smart people put forth simplistic narratives like "Carmen just needs to make peace with his family" or "he fumbled Claire, his shot at happiness." I just don't understand.

Sydney passing Verdana "Now fool might be my middle name" as she stares down at the sign saying they will be permanently closed May 1st - along with the instrumentals, a clock ticks in the background. A flash of Nilah's face is interspersed, smiling back at her. "But I'd be foolish not to say..."

If this is an ellipse to a "Carmy loves Syd, Syd is fully gay" moment in later seasons, I'll be pretty disappointed since that would be a too-easy way to shut things down.

On first viewing, I took it as "Syd sees herself in Nilah" - she aspires to be her, Nilah gave her forewarning about partnerships that aren't official, Nilah was empowered, optimistic, and in control....and Nilah has not succeeded, highlighting Sydney's anxieties about failure at the same time Carmy is cycling through his own debris.

But the song lyrics are ambiguous, and everything is on purpose, and god damn I hate what fan theories have done to my mind.

Anyone catch that on the F&F menu listed on the whiteboard (as Natalie enters to sit with Carmy) the course of Seven Fishes is followed by the Bolognese? The feast was followed by the meal he prepared for Claire being served at friends and family? Yeah, I did.

The mother father painting - I feel like everyone was riffing on this during the earlier part of the week. The absolution of the mother due to the absent father. Syd being the mother (present) and Carmy being the father (absent). Donna (alive) vs. Mikey (dead). The idea of family haunting the dining room. The idea that this painting in the restaurant supplants what is trying to be built (found family). I suppose the parallels are endless here.

It's also just a truly shitty painting, a gauche reminder of Carmy's absence/inattentiveness.

"What exactly is a ServSafe certificate"?

Carmy was most definitely deflecting, he's a well-venerated chef. There are moments of inconsistency in the show that I let slide (giardiniera a la minute? bitch please) but there had to be a reason for this - his fatigue, his guilt, his inattentiveness reaching a breaking point.

Once he says "I'm fine on mom" Natalie sees it all coming to a head.

Sydney stickering her little Coach K vision board as she arrives for her shift. I just realized she doesn't really start paying attention to the book (a dorky 'go get 'em' gift from her Dad) until Carmy ditches her at Kasama. Coach K exists in the leadership void left by Carmy - it seems so sad to watch her pre-game by bejeweling a picture of a middle-aged man, but that sad pseudo-prayer card is the closest thing she's got to a north star right now.

Also, she's been fixated on and extolling the virtues of Coach K to Carmy all season and is met with....complete incuriosity, I guess? He never prods further, even when he sees her making this dinky thing for her station. It's almost like he knows, on a subconscious level, that this guy is supplanting him as Syd's guide.

But it's also her finding her own voice through advanced mentorship, which is great.

Carmy pointing at those aforementioned stains, Syd undressing in front of him, Carmy making plans to dress her again, them mutually deciding to dress in matching clothes until service. I cannot guys, I cannot.

Carmy getting spit-roasted for his deflection from Nat & Syd ("I know you just missed him *eyeroll*" "Do you have a phone these days?") - I feel like he's so under fire/exposed that he doesn't even recognize of the gravitas of the "I need your focus like you need mine" comment at first.

"What's your relationship with your mom like?" This scene has been discussed to death on here, I don't really have any new insights as it relates to Carmy/Syd and their maternal links or timing. I think the part that hasn't been explored much is Carmy's frustration with Nat which is thinly veiled as concern.

We saw in Fishes that Mikey and Carmy (and Donna) blame Nat for provoking bad behavior with her concern and neediness. Carmy says "she's expecting a miracle" like she's the sole sibling that enabled their mother. By way of Donna's disease and (I presume) unwillingness to seek help, the Berzatto kids really only had two options - enable by pacifying, or GTFO.

Mikey could be as atrocious as Donna. Donna is atrocious. Carmy played soothe-sayer and then left at 18. Natalie tries to cultivate some sense of family - the same family Carmy pays homage to via his restaurant, his menu, his girlfriend, Richie, his endless self-flagellation - but is resented for her own wayward attempts, even though they're very explicit expressions of love (sometimes) and longing (always). There's some really gnarly projection happening there that I expect will rear its head more in S3 between the two of them.

Cue Carmy being a douche to New Noise (although I love that little moment where he cock-blocks Connor, the new chef, and Tina smiles to herself a little).

Tina's been working tirelessly alongside Sydney and asks "Carmen, do you even have a phone?" as Syd tells him the contractor for the shelving called him eleventy-thousand times. There is a lot of emasculation happening on his own restaurant floor (formerly The Beef, the temple of gross masculinity) between the trifecta of Syd/Nat/Tina this episode, and it's only ratcheting up the defensiveness - his excuses and deflections fall flat, but he's not listening or learning yet.

Marcus' dessert check, (with Syd and Carmen looking like a panel of matchy-matchy top chef judges on the other side of the table):

Sydney is looking at Carmy with affection as Marcus receives a package from Denmark (whereas Carmen doesn't even react) - it's the second time she's looked at him like that in the conversation (the first being "workshopping the name") but it's been a long while since she's projected admiration his way. She sees how much he's done for Marcus in cultivating the whole customized Copenhagen experience for him, she sees his service, she sees her values humbly and quietly executed by him.

The Michael 😭 followed by the silence and "You can throw down, huh?" - what a perfect moment of TV.

I'm pausing here for tonight before my grammar falls apart (if it hasn't already), I'll unpack the rest tomorrow.

#the bear fx #the bear season 2 #the bear spoilers #the bear #carmen berzatto #carmy x sydney #syd x carmy #marcus the bear #natalie berzatto #claire the bear #mikey berzatto #carmy berzatto

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jeeaark · 4 months

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Great googly moogly I frigging adore Greygold. The way you do insight checks, intimidation checks, their Paladin Oath levels of dedication to friendship and the Mushy Bits along with how you draw SO much expression alongside all of the above is just. So. Good.

Kudos kudos kudos!

Paladin oath of friendship. I like that. That should be a thing. GG would be down for multi-classing into that, ahahaha~

A paladin pal. ENEMIES LITERALLY SMITED BY THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP- amazing

But goodness my heaaaart, its mush! Thank you kindly and muchly, aaaaah! I'm glad GG could bring some entertainment for you.

Lemme tell you, it's been quite an interesting process interpreting their character from how I played the game, much less building a cohesive story (journey?) from it (roleplaying was not at the top of my mind, I was just there to enjoy the story~ I DIDN"T THINK I'D GET SO ATTACHED AHH)

But lemme tell ya- THE AMOUNT OF CONNECT-THE-DOTS AND COINCIDENCES I FOUND - like GG, a knight ranger, needing shiny armor while proficient in intimidation and meeting the dream guardian who's playing knight in shiny armor?- ohohohohoho Greygold was more of a silly goose than I thought

The other half of what made Greygold Greygold is just me making a lotta honest-to-goodness whoopsie daisies (I really thought those were friggin' PJs). Apparently mistakes and misunderstandings really DO give an individual character, pff.

#ANYWAY THANKS FOR LISTENING TO MY OFF TOPIC RAMBLING #I REALLY DO APPRECIATE THE KIND WORDS UBWAH Q<Q /#Means a lot to know GG's doing-their-best shenanigans are enjoyable!

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lovebillyhargrove · 5 months

Text

Wake me up when July is around

Chapter 18/?

***

Hands down.

Hands fucking down,

Billy Hargrove has never been so horny, in all of the years since puberty hit him. Like a train. It didn't hit him gently. Does it ever though?

Anyways.

On the verge of turning 18, frequent involuntary erections and wet dreams are making a surprise comeback to his everyday life. Like he needs them back, right the fuck now.

It's as if he's a 12-year old again, examining his pimply chin in front of the mirror. Waking up to a shameful wet spot in his underwear after having yet another arousing sex dream.

Billy's already had such dreams about Harrington, it's not like he's gonna

Oh my god!

freak out about the fact itself, but if he thought they happened often, haha. Look at him now, after he actually

physically

touched King Steve's smooth dick.

Billy's right palm remembers the feeling of its silky texture, remembers how the hot cum erupted over the fingers

He can still chase it.

The dreams vary in their depravity. Some are just a faint whisper, a brush of a hand, or of lips. Sometimes they are bolder, Billy's gripping Harrington's cock in his pants, over and over again, making the pretty boy writhe and gasp under his brazen touch. At times Billy gets lucky to watch especially explicit night fantasies, way better than any porn he's ever seen or imagined,

Turning him into a glob of sweet sweet honey, sticky and fuzzy and not wanting to get out of bed in the morning.

Harrington is living rent free in all of these dreams. No-one else. Not even a single gorgeous playboy babe makes a five-second appearance.

Motherfucker.

And alright, while spilling cum on your sheet is not a big deal, trying to hide your erect dick in public? That's a bit tricky.

Cause Billy is not a 12-year old with a small pecker anymore.

And don't even start Hargrove on goddamn basketball practices. It's been absolute torment for the last couple of weeks. Even though accidental - very often intentional - touches, pushes and collisions with Steve provide new food for Billy's horned up imagination, it's embarrassing and plain suspicious how many times he has to leave the gym for a sudden break. The fucking tiny shorts aren't helping him at all. They don't offer much of a disguise, fucking none.

Damn frigging shorts. At least when he's fully dressed, covering up his hard-on is not such a big problem.

One time Billy ended up poking the Hawkins Tigers' ex-captain with his upright cock, right there on the basketball court, in the middle of the game. Harrington didn't say a word, he just fucking looked at Billy funny and licked his lips

Why did he lick 'em

Hargrove had to run off to the locker room, smashing the doors on the way out with such force they almost flew off their hinges

Just like Billy.

He is off.

Other guys must've seen it, the tent in his shorts. Fucking stupid.

So puberty seems to be making a very unnecessary intrusion into his life, and Billy is taken hostage.

It’s as though he’s been slammed by a freight train again, only now he’s not just smeared all over the rails, but is being choo-chooed along, counting every railway tie with his hard insufferable dick

That pops up like a jack-in-the-box, at any time around the clock, and in most unfitting places and situations, whenever and wherever it fucking feels like it.

On Sunday morning Billy's washing the dishes after breakfast, with Susan fussing around in the kitchen, Max still sleepily sipping her cocoa at the table and Neil reading his morning newspaper, and

He is getting a mega-fucking-ass boner, doing goddamn dishes, in this good-morning-respectable-family-paradise, dick pushing into the edge of the sink, straining his sweatpants, it's fucking uncomfortable and awkward, and it's as if his stupid cock is completely out of control. Like it has a life of its own. Or, more like, a part of Billy's brain and his dick have this special connection, which Billy is totally left out of. It only takes a blink of memories from those heated five minutes in the backseat of Steve's car - Harrington's Adam's apple bobbing in front of Billy's eyes under that white-thin, insanely delicate skin and yeah .. it's enough for

Weigh anchor, hoist the sails!

Fuck this shit times a million.

Hargrove almost breaks the plate he's holding, in half.

Good thing, the sink is still full, the dick can calm itself down. Hopefully. Otherwise, Billy wil have to come up with a way to retreat to his room not dangling this thing around in front of everyone.

He'll have to fucking moonwalk backwards. Dear family is gonna be too perplexed to notice the protruding situation in his sweatpants, and it'll lead to the much needed distraction.

That's all it takes these last February days - a fleeting memory, and Hargrove's getting a raging hard-on.

Feels like a curse.

Also, it's not like he's in charge of his thoughts as well. They run free and wild, various images or recollections of smells or sounds - all connected with the preppy sweater-wearing piece of Indiana cowshit - spring to mind, and there goes Billy's tireless dick again. Up and defiant. Hurting but relentless.

No-one can tell it what to do. It does what it wants.

Billy can't fucking function like that !!

Hargrove keeps circling that sponge, and glancing sideways at the phone on the kitchen wall

He could uh .. just

FUCKING CALL HIM

Just like it says in the note.

"Harrington residence."

"Hey, shithead."

"Hargrove ..?"

"No, it's your mom, dumbass."

Harrington will chuckle in the receiver and say, light and breezy

"So .. whatcha doing?"

Thinking of you

"Nothing much."

Oh yeah? .. What exactly are you thinking about?

"My parents aren't home. Wanna drop by? We could .. drink a couple of beers maybe?"

Sounds good

Perfect

"Sure."

No. Billy, NO.

He is not going to call Harrington.

Why not, you might ask? Make it happen already, whatever it is. Steve has slipped his number in his pocket fucking twice.

Nope. He's not gonna call.

Cause it's weak.

And, if you still haven't figured it out, Billy Hargrove is anything

but weak. Secondly, he just doesn't want to give Harrington the satisfaction in this particular case.

Billy recalls the expression on Steve's face while he was coming down from the high of nutting into Hargrove's fist in the beamer.

Steve was royalty, having collected tribute from his liegeman.

Billy's not calling the arrogant prick, period. He's not gonna feed the asshole's pride.

He doesn't want to seem needy for the king's favour.

Because he's not.

And like .. Hargrove doesn't mind making his hands work. He can give himself a quickie in bed, or in the shower, or .. in the fucking locker room, where one day he burst into during another basketball game, hot and angry and achingly hard, his balls about to explode right there on the court, causing his sperm to splatter all over Harrington's pale hairy legs

So fucking annoying

Oh, Billy was furious then.

The helplessness. Like, what ?? What on earth should he do? Go see a doctor? Please help me manage my erections at almost fucking 18 ?? Cut off his stupid dumb penis that keeps embarrassing him?

He had to jack off right there in the empty locker room, it was bordering on impossible to go on with the day otherwise. It only took a couple of minutes, so.

Billy wants to see what's underneath those tight dark green shorts, and not just take a peek, like in the showers, no, he wants to see everything and take his time watching

Take them off, Harrington. Or better yet, let me .. slide them down, show me what you are packing

In broad daylight, he wants to look long and hard, take it all in, the size, the details, the colour .. compare it with the image he has created in his head after all those feverish night dreams

Why? Why is he so fixated on seeing Harrington's dick?

Stop asking stupid questions, alright?

Billy doesn't have answers to any of them. If someone could explain it to him, he'd gladly listen.

Fuck off, just leave him alone.

See, what's even worse, it's not only the physical aspect of feeling like he's in puberty again. Billy starts getting angry and even more aggressive than he usually is. He's always cursing, he's always banging something loud, barking or plain yelling mad at Max for no good reason, and he absolutely needs to find more powerful speakers to put in his car.

There's no adequate outlet for his pent-up frustration. The days when a push and a couple of harsh words seemed sufficient, are over. Shoving Harrington around has stopped providing the relief. It's simply not enough, and only razzes Billy even more.

People in school hallways are steering clear of him, especially after that episode when he violently bulldozed some junior through a wall for bumping into Hargrove on pure accident.

The guy has probably developed a stutter after.

Sometimes Billy turns into a complete nutcase and starts feeling disgustingly emotional, sad or even fucking depressed.

He's never been a ray of sunshine, neither has he ever looked at this world through rose-coloured glasses, this is true, but it's just that everything seems to be hellishly getting out of hand lately.

This feeling is new and unwelcome. The only thing that he always had a grip on in this world - himself - is spinning out of control.

It's revolting.

Billy can't stand hovering over a ridge like that. He needs sustainability, he has always found support in himself - because where else? All these years - since she left him - he's been his own rock. His friends and the ocean were there for him back in San Diego, but here, in this fucking Hawkins he has no one at all, and therefore all this confusingly loud hullabaloo in his head, the mood swings and the constantly erect dick in his pants - all these things can go fuck themselves

Deep in the ass.

Honestly.

Four months till the beginning of July.

Billy turns the water off, wipes the kitchen counter. The cock has cooled itself down a bit, and while he was getting lost in thoughts, the precious family seems to have left the kitchen. Billy doesn't have to moonwalk back to his room hiding his erection.

Well, at least a grain of good news amid the disaster.

***

It's a usual break between periods, and Billy's passing Steve in the hallway.

Heart is springing up to his throat, beating somewhere right in there, not letting him breathe evenly

Look at me, look at me, look at me

Steve doesn't.

Mood swings, yeah? Here you go. Billy's feeling disappointed and .. fucking saddened ?? Because of this crap?

Owie .. he didn't notice me, life's in shambles. Call fucking emergency services, maybe they'll know what to do.

Hargrove wants Harrington to always look at him.

To be fair, the pretty boy is busy having some lovers' quarrel with the red-haired girl, Nicole. She's still unhappy about Valentine's Day, she sure didn't expect to see drunk King Steve shamelessly flirt with other girls. Namely, with that ugly bitch Tammy Thompson, who's always eyeing him in classes and her boobs are always about to fall out of her blouse. Slut.

Steve's trying to laugh it off, Nicole's not laughing.

D-rama !!

"Hi, Billy."

A sweet kiss is planted on the corner of his lips, and Jennifer attaches herself to Hargrove's arm on the way to class. She is still acting like she's his girlfriend.

Why shouldn't she. She doesn't know.

Pecking his brain about useless things. Telling him how some junior hit on her after Billy had ditched the party on Valentine's. Jennifer's even telling him his name - Troy or something, she's trying so hard to make him jealous

Sweetheart. Save the effort. There's like .. nothing stirring inside.

It's lunch break now, and the only thing that's stirring, is Hargrove's dick in his jeans cause Harrington looks so good today. There he is, picking at his food, smiling at Tommy, laid-back. All easy-breezy, the confident fucking arrogant curve of lips. He looks good every day, the dickwad. Almost every day a new outfit, how many fucking sweaters and shirts and dumb polos does he own?

Billy's got a sudden itch to set all of Steve's clothes on fire.

Also, Harrington looked sexy today when he was writing something in the previous class they shared. Staring at the blackboard all pensive and shit. Like he actually understood what the teacher was talking about. Like he was interested. Yeah, right. He got a C- for his last test in Literature. His daddy's definitely gonna pay his way through college, no need to worry that pretty little head about stuff like that.

Billy hates him for looking so attractive. So worry-free. Self-entitled. Like life's at his service, and he's just taking it for what it is - for granted.

So when Jennifer is droning on about some shit Hargrove even remotely pays no attention to,

He's like god I'm so sick and tired of it all, jesus.

Nevertheless, Billy has to keep up lame appearances.

"That him?" He asks the girl who believes they're dating.

She has no idea what's going on inside his brain, who and what he sees when the nights come.

"Yeah, that's him. Oh, Billy, no, what are you ..?"

Hargrove leaves the table he's sitting at, comes up to the dude, pats his shoulder. Leaves his hand there, presses down a bit, leaning on the guy, arm as heavy as an iron beam, weighing a ton

Looming over him like a thundercloud

"Heard you've been hitting on that girl over there?"

The guy is fearfully shaking his head

Dude's a pussy. Should've told Billy

"Yeah if you're not fucking her on valentine's, someone should do you both a favour."

Should've started a scene, a fight.

Instead, he's just sitting there, hunching his shoulders and pulling in his neck like a small defenseless turtle.

Billy sees a teacher, monitoring the lunch hall, looking at them with a question in her eyes.

Alright.

"Keep your hands to yourself, buddy. You know. To avoid uhm .."

Billy makes a little pause for a bigger dramatic effect

".. injuries."

Smiles all friendly. Like he means the dude no harm whatsoever.

The what's-his-name looks relieved he did avoid the promised injuries this time, and

Jennifer is delighted. She is the queen of Hawkins High. She is the reason Billy Hargrove almost started a brawl with another boy right now, in front of every student. Looked so big, so hot, doing it. Vicky can stuff her prom dress down her throat. There she is, totally, devastatingly jealous, ready to burst into tears or throw hands at Jennifer once again. She is still not over Hargrove, but it's Jennifer who will be going to prom with him. She'll be prom Queen, proudly wear the crown, frame the picture and put it on the wall. Probably tell their kids how mommy and daddy danced at prom and looked fantastic doing it.

Oh girls girls girls, why is that you fall so easily for someone who doesn't give a fuck about you. What is your problem. Can't you like the good ones, the ones who are going to stick around. When are you going to understand that ninety-nine per cent of all times that piece of hot badass means inevitable heartbreak?

Billy thinks that he needs to take Jennifer out or something, to maintain the reputation, but

He's so over this shit.

Come March, he'll be breaking up with her.

He's catching that sweet junior Alison's stare and throws her a smile, just in case, for possible future purposes. Jennifer is too busy gloating to notice it.

Billy's not even sure what he's doing anymore. Like, there are chicks, that have stopped attracting him fucking collectively and individually, and there is Harrington, that's been stuck like a bone in Billy's throat since day one, but especially lately.

Billy wasn't planning on touching anyone's dick in fucking Hawkins, Indiana.

Most importantly, Billy still definitely doesn't need any kind of attachment.

Don't forget about that, Hargrove.

Soon it's gonna be the time to call it quits with the Hawkins girls, and with its idiot king. It'll be the time to get out of this swamp.

Only four months left.

You've already made it through six. It's gonna be okay.

Maybe it's more reasonable to leave this place the moment he gets the high school diploma, not wait till July. Billy will be 18 already. He can pack everything in advance, put it in the car, stop by the school to pick up the documents and then just drive west straight from there, not even going back to Cherry Lane.

Aren't you even gonna say goodbye to your father who raised you?

Sure, he wants to work his ass off in June, probably find another part-time job, save up as much as he can, but won't it be more sensible to just get the fuck out of here as soon as possible, nevermind the extra cash?

It's something to consider.

***

Okay, listen up, kids, Hargrove is not in charge of his

A) penis

B) thoughts

C) mood

All answers are correct (mind it, the option under D) feelings has been deleted from the original list)

But what irritates Billy most, makes him extra boiling mad is that the moment he gets some sort of a grip on the situation, and he's like alright, just need to fucking take it day by day, screw it all, especially everything that's Harrington-related, and he might still be reeling, but at least he understands what's happening and has it in check

At this very fucking moment Steve resurfaces and reminds Billy about himself, and it pulls the surf board from under his feet. He's back to zero again, having lost control once more

Just wanting to commit a fucking crime. Breaking and entering, burn the rich-ass dude's clothes, key his car, poison his current girlfriend

Hargrove would never key the beamer. He spent too much time making it look perfect.

Like right the fuck now, when Billy's just standing in the parking lot, thighs on his baby's hood, finishing his morning smoke in peace, minding his business, a minute till the first period, and

Bam!

He gets a snowball in the back.

The fuck!??

He turns around - there's just Harrington in the almost empty lot, grinning like a dumbass and a new girl by his side hiding a giggle - Sammy, Tammy ..?

Playing fucking games? What grade are you in? Planting notes, throwing frigging snowballs?

Okay shithead.

Billy looks as if he's not bothered, like he's ignoring the asshole, but his eyes are already looking for patches of snow, still lying around - it's the beginning of spring, February has no choice but to slowly start stepping away, taking all winter paraphernalia with it. He's planning revenge, but unfortunately, upon starting to walk towards the school, slips on the ice and lands on his ass.

Motherfucker!

During all three months of winter Hargrove managed to stay on his feet somehow, but at the fucking end of February he absolutely has to fall down, in front of Harrington, of course.

There's a very distinct Hahaaha that he hears behind his back

You goddamn son of a bitch

Billy quickly jumps to his feet, ducks down, and while Steve's still laughing with the girl, a massive snowball hits the king in the fucking ear. Good shot. He's not looking so playful anymore, he looks really hurt. Hargrove seldom misses, and he strikes hard.

You asked for it, Indiana.

Hargrove flips Steve off for good measure and keeps walking to school, honour defended, dignity restored.

Kinda.

Stop fucking fucking with me.

***

At the beginning of March seniors' yearbook pictures are being taken in Hawkins High. Well, they were already taken in the fall, was it October? .. but some kids were sick or absent, so it's the last call for those who haven't had it done. The yearbook layout is almost ready and in April or May it's supposed to be printed out.

Billy doesn't give a fuck. He skipped the first photo session and

How many dollars should he spend on the stupid book?

He's not getting himself one here, in the lamest school of all. He doesn't know half of these people, and he doesn't really care about anyone in particular, even the basketball team, Hawkins Losers, makes him only want to forget about its existence. Back in San Diego it wouldn't even be a question, but here?

What the fuck for?

Billy still goes to the photo shoot this time though. He wants to skip Spanish, and also

Because Harrington is there too, hanging around the entrance to the school drama hall, that's where it'll be held. King Steve actually had his picture taken the first time, in October, but

Oh, you need to hear this one -

The bitch didn't like it.

So he's actually asking for his photo to be retaken now. Jesus Christ. Since Byers aka Harrington's ex-girlfriend's current boyfriend, is responsible for today's event, the King

slash

Fastidious Queen

Is going to get another chance.

There are some other seniors in the hall as well, no-one's in a hurry, no-one's eager to get back to class early, so they take their time, girls brushing their hair in front of the mirror and applying lipstick, guys just fooling around. King Steve gets an extra couple of shots, just in case, to make him happy. The faces Harrington makes when he's being photographed are to die for, Billy wants to roll on the floor with laughter.

When the period and the photo thing finish, the kids are on their way out of the hall, and it just so happens that Harrington and Hargrove are the last ones to actually walk out of the door. The responsible Byers is in a hurry to take the school photo camera back to the photo lab. Steve's not feeling bad about breaking Jonathan's camera in September, monsters or no monsters, the dude still shouldn't have taken pictures of him and his friends, hiding and watching them from the woods. Steve apologized for saying some nasty stuff about his family in the heat of the fight, but that's as far as the apologies will go. It's a bit weird to have Byers take pictures of him, given their history, if he remembers it right, back in the fall the shoot was done by someone else but, honestly, it feels like so much stuff has happened after that, it's all water under the bridge.

The boys look at each other before leaving the hall, stalling. Steve's lips curl in a mischievous smile and Hargrove's eyes mirror it with the similar naughty twinkle

Steve takes Billy's hand.

And it's like everything around him disappears for a split second.

The warmth of it.

What the fuck, why the fuck

Helplessness.

Billy's blood knows the route, flowing fast.

With some brain cells still functioning. Hargrove peeks out of the hall, everyone is minding their own business, in a hurry to get to the bathroom, to a locker, to the next class. Byers is gone.

Hargrove closes the door. Steve's hasn't let go of his hand

Making the electricity run through his body.

Billy glances down at their hands, then up at Harrington's pretty face again, the dude is devouring him - Hargrove can't be imagining that, it's real - with his big beautiful fucking deer eyes, lips slightly parted

Inviting.

Luring.

They understand each other without a single spoken word

Billy almost knocks Steve down with a kiss, there's so much uncontrollable force

How many times have they kissed already? It feels like it’s so new, like they've never done it before.

Harrington is dragging Billy behind the stage, they climb up the small staircase there

Holding each other.

Billy's hands are clutching onto Steve's clothes, Harrington is gripping the other boy's back of the neck with one hand and tugging his jeans jacket with the other

They are behind the curtain. It smells funny here, of dust and paint, fear of public speaking, forgotten lines and improvisation.

Fear and improvisation - that can actually be applied to what the boys are doing right now.

Harrington's ass ends up being slammed against some kind of a table.

They are kissing, kissing, kissing, fuck, why does Billy want to kiss this idiot so much, he’s ready to suck his lips for a whole hour, play catch with their tongues

Running wild

And touch, touch, touch

Steve's shoulders, his arms, back, chest, belly ..

Everything, everything, all of his lean body, Billy's hands are not big enough

What would it feel like if they were naked now?

Harrington isn't so shy either, he is groping Billy everywhere, his hands go down to his ass, he fucking kneads his ass so much it hurts

Fuck.

Billy is so turned on, he wants to fucking weep because he can't cope

With the heat. With the lust. With the need.

He goes for Steve's fly, pops the button, opens it, his fingers fucking trembling

Like of a junkie.

He can actually .. he's been dying to see Harrington's dick like that, in day light

Oh god god god is it happening

He pulls the pants down together with the underwear, and Steve's cock springs up in all its splendor

Red, swollen, meaty

Big. The head is purplish and shiny, with a little pool of precum in its tip

It feels like a reflex already, Billy's hand moving to grab it.

But before, he slides his palm over the dark pubic hair

It's so coarse. Harrington's got a full fucking bush down there, and Billy wants to find himself lying in bed together with Steve, stroke his groin, teasingly, wrapping rings of wiry hair on his index finger.

Hargrove's hand on the lower belly makes the other boy moan and Billy mutters

"Shut up, Harrington. Or someone will hear us."

Steve looks like he doesn't care, but of course he does. They don't want to get caught. They can't.

Billy runs his fingers up the cock. Steve hisses

Hargrove doesn't want to appear too gentle, that's why he stops with the caressing and takes the dick in his palm, just like he's been dreaming of

Fucking velvet, fucking tender, skin like the softest down

And flesh stiff as a rock.

Billy's gone. He is so completely gone on the sensations.

Why has he never felt like that before? Like a live wire.

For a fraction of a second he considers ditching Steve, leaving him here with his dick out in the open because

Don't do it don't do it don't do it

Is at the back of his mind.

You can't handle this.

Of course he doesn't listen to reason. Not this time. Not when King Steve is whining so sweetly under his touch

"I told you to shut up, or you'll get us in trouble."

Steve's rasping out

"You shut up. Come on, make me cum."

Excuse me?

That rubs Billy the wrong way and he scoffs because

The royal fucking attitude.

He's not gonna put up with it.

"Make me cum too, asshole," - with a mean chuckle.

Harrington is looking at him in disbelief, like how dares he, but Billy is letting go of his erect dick and Steve says quickly

"Okay. Let's make each other cum."

Hargrove's waiting. The king doesn't seem to be catching on.

"Unzip."

There's a flash of something dark in the pretty boy's brown eyes like he isn't used to being told what to do.

"Fuck you."

Yet, he obeys.

Hargrove's dick falls heavily out of the black boxers and

Steve's hesitating. Looking.

Billy can wait again. He's not moving his hand up and down the other boy's cock, he's not gonna do it unless ..

Harrington takes him, cautiously, clumsily.

Tentatively.

Billy's gonna pass out right this second.

Fuck .. fuck, it looks so fucking hot, Steve's fingers wrapped around his dick.

Billy is trying to memorize every little detail of what's going on here, for later.

It drives Billy fucking wild. The sight of them holding each other by the dicks turns him savage

Like he wants to .. he wants to

Eat Harrington alive.

They start jerking each other off, copying each other's pace, gradually falling into the same rhythm, slower strokes becoming faster.

Eyes darting between faces and dicks, searching for some confirmation that what each one is doing here, is good, feels good.

Feels amazing.

Harrington's cock is cut clean and neat

Billy's uncut, and the feeling is so different. Steve doesn't have all the extra skin to be worked with, but Billy does, and

Hargrove doesn't understand why but it makes it even more exciting, the difference.

In all of the commotion Billy's right hand falls from Steve's back on the table and

It's touching an object

Billy absentmindedly pulls it from behind Steve ready to throw it on the floor so it doesn't get in the way

It's a crown. A fucking papier-mache fake crown made for a performance

Billy doesn't toss it on the floor, he's grinning at Harrington instead, trying to put it on his head

"A crown for your majesty."

It's getting knocked out of Hargrove's hand

"Jesus, you are so dumb."

"No, you're fucking dumb."

Both boys are snickering like complete idiots.

They go on pumping their hard cocks.

Harrington's slit is gushing precome.

A couple of times Billy breaks the rhythm and gives attention to the head of Steve's dick, using that slow twisting motion, spreading all the moisture with his thumb

It makes the pretty boy close his eyes and bite his lower lip

"Nuuugh .."

"Shuuuudup."

He looks so fucking hot.

And like .. Billy wants to say something, how much he likes it, how sexy Steve looks, but

They have to keep quiet not to get caught.

It's unlikely someone's gonna come to the hall now, and especially backstage, still, you never know.

Also, Hargrove is not gonna be the talkative bitch who can't contain his excitement

So Billy keeps everything that he wants to say to himself, only occasional gasps and suppressed moans escaping their lips. Something tells him, in other circumstances Harrington would be much much louder.

Billy can hear Harrington's breath hitching and he starts thrusting his hips erratically

He's close.

Billy is close too.

***

When they are finished, there's this moment again, when you're coming down from the high and you still have to look at each other and .. talk?

Like .. it's awkward as balls.

Speaking of. He has seen the imperial scepter, but he hasn't seen the crown jewels. He'd certainly like to take a peek. They might be fun to play with

Fffffuck

He just had an orgasm. Sex thoughts, fucking already ??

They both take their hands off of each other,

Steve's fingers linger on Billy's t-shirt, crumpling it

Wha ..

"The fuck you're doing?"

"Well, I can't wipe it on my sweater. It costs like .. a lot."

Fucking asshole!

"Your t-shirt's easier to wash."

They've got sperm all over their clothes.

What a despicable douche. Billy crowds Harrington against the table again and pointedly slides his hand, covered in cum, over the expensive fabric

"The fuck you did that for?"

"Just wiping off your mess, assface."

That's the pillow talk, that's it, that's how you do it in the town of Hawkins.

The assface in question is pouting

He slightly pushes Hargrove away, zips up and Billy does the same.

"I don't want to get to class."

Yeah, back to reality.

The pictures were taken during Foreign Language - the teachers have been notified, that certain students are going to be absent from class. Hargrove takes Spanish. Harrington takes French. Would be funny to actually see the jerk speak French

Bonjour, crétin

The boys yielding to the urge to touch each other's dicks led to their skipping more than half of History class. There's no point in going there now, so it'll be great if they manage to make it to their cars without running into a teacher.

"Let's try and get out of here."

When they carefully go out of the school hall and start moving towards the exit, already thinking they are in the clear

Too soon.

"Mr. Hargrove! Mr. Harrington! Why aren't you in class?"

Shit.

That's Mrs. Donovan, the vice principal.

"We uh .."

Apparently, cumming so hard has left Billy's brain empty and unable to produce any kind of a viable excuse

Harrington seems to have the same problem because he's coming up with the genius

"I uh .. I had to use the bathroom."

"And Mr. Hargrove was helping you?"

"Uh .. we're actually .. no. We got sidetracked."

What ??

Mrs. Donovan decides not to delve into the idiocy.

"I believe you should be in History right now."

"And we are on our way to class, Mrs. Donovan." Billy pipes up.

The vice principal is watching them walk to the classroom. To the door.

Jesus.

Their History teacher is not happy to see them crash her lesson in the middle of it.

Hagan is looking at them all strange. Damn it. They should probably agree on a sensible lie, not to get him all suspicious and shit.

When the period is finished, Mrs. Jenkins calls the slackers' names and expresses her dissatisfaction with their behaviour

The boys are standing there trying to look remorseful as fuck.

It doesn't help.

Mrs. Jenkins is a tough nut to crack. She's close to a hundred, so biologically immune to Hargrove's charm. And he can't woo her intellectually cause that's not the case right now.

Billy's not even trying anything, he knows it's hopeless. She's also super strange about students skipping her lessons, she takes it like a deep personal offence.

"I will accompany you to your detention, young men. Right now. And I will also be the one monitoring you today. Please. After you."

Detention .. ??

Fuck.

"Mrs. Jenkins, is that really necessary .."

"You do the crime, you do the punishment. Be thankful I am not going to call your parents to let them know about your lack of discipline."

"Can I at least let my .."

"No you cannot, Mr. Hargrove."

Old bitch.

Billy knows, he's not there to pick Max up equals problems with Neil. If only he could warn her to wait for him at school, hang out at her AV club or something.

The witch Jenkins said no, and he's not gonna beg.

***

I did google the percentage of circumcised/uncircumcised males in the states of Indiana and California in the 1970s-1980s. The rate of circumcised males in Indiana was very high, while California was literally at the bottom of the US states list

#harringrove #harringrove fic #s1steve x billy #harringrove slow burn #harringrove high school shenanigans

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writing-by-mimi · 2 years

Text

Slumber Party

Alpha!Asmodeus x F!Omega!MC

Adult content, read at your own risk. Not beta read.

Asmodeus. The man was perfect, flawless, and sweeter than sugar. An attractive Alpha with hidden raw strength you'd seen more than once, he just didn't make a habit of showing it. You didn't blame him, why get your hands dirty when demons like Lucifer and Beelzebub existed and loved making quick work of other demons causing trouble?

The only flaw the man had, which wasn't even really a flaw, more of a... staggering disappointment to your heart, was that he only saw Betas as people to have sex with, not any kind of long term commitment.

An Alpha and Omega would share a bond that they just couldn't with Betas. Asmo knew that, recognized it. He'd told you himself a week after getting to the Devildom that he wouldn't ever settle for a Beta. They lacked 'the ability to please him' as he had rudely told you. Most likely he was referring to going into heat...

Yes, you'd grown closer, and he never turned down a romp with a Beta because of their status, but he made it very clear that any type of permanent commitment would be with an Omega, and an Omega only.

It made his advances and teasing worse. You'd fallen for him like everyone else in the frigging realm, and he couldn't even charm you. Your dirty secret of loving him would have to stay just that. It wouldn't matter if you confessed right now to him, even though he told you you'd be the exception, that he'd love you more than anyone else in all the realms...it was just Asmo being Asmo. A flirt. You knew he didn't mean anything by it.

It hurt, knowing you weren't his preferred type for lasting love, but he never treated you or other Betas differently for being Betas.

You'd never been in love before, but Asmo clicked all the boxes. The feelings you had for him you didn't share with anyone else. He was the only person you wanted to spend your life with in such a way...but being doomed from the start you had tried to get rid of the feelings.

They persisted, even leaving the Devildom didn't help. After all these years, you had just accepted the fact you were going to die alone, pining for Asmodeus like countless others.

It was silly, spending so much time with him. You shouldn't. All it did was serve to make your heart race and look like a fool when you couldn't get a sentence out after he would fluster you. He'd laugh and go about his business, having his fill of flirting and flustering the human.

At this point, you wondered why you subjected yourself to Saturday Spa Day over and over again.

Watching his thigh muscles move, so little of his bare legs covered, well toned, so unbearably perfect... Knowing that just a few inches above his impossibly short robe that his-

"There you are!"

You couldn't help but jump. Being caught thinking about the Avatar, only for the demon himself to show up...

"Oh, what has you all hot and bothered?" He smirked at your darkening cheeks as you turned away.

"Nothing!" You quickly answered and pushed your thoughts away.

"Well, 'nothing' has more of your attention than me, and its my day with you sweetie." He looked up from his phone. "Okay, so I found this new human safe bubble bath I want you to test because I'm reviewing it. So far, on the demon side, I give it a solid C, so your input could save them. I'll judge how it does for your skin, hair and nails, but don't hold back." He pulled you up by the arm and ushered you hurriedly into his bathroom. "Oh, also, I found a robe that you'll absolutely love since Mammon stole your other one." You could hear him muttering under his breath about his brother. "After your bath, I'm going to do the usual, but I found some different products that I think will work much better for you." He added as his phone rang and he excused himself with a wink.

Closing the door after him, you let out a sigh. Being so casual while walking around looking so attractive! It just wasn't fair. Your heart could only take so much before you were sure to have a heart attack.

Undressing and running the bath, you added a generous amount of the bubble bath, the Avatars bathtub could definitely handle it.

The smell was wonderful and the water the perfect temperature as you slid into the tub. Turning off the water, you moved back to the side and laid back while reaching for a random bottle of product to read while you enjoyed your time.

You grimaced. Omega product. No doubt for when he brought them home... He had his own Alpha products on the other side of the bath. Looking through the rest, you gave a bitter laugh and sunk into the bubbles. No Beta products. Of course, there weren't many for your type...but even Asmo brought back Betas. Maybe he wanted them to smell like Omegas.

Pushing the depressing thought from your head, you placed the bottle back where it had originally been.

Stupid Omegas. Who wants to go into heat and smell perfect to every Alpha in a mile radius anyway?

You sighed, blowing the bubbles back from your face. You wanted too. You wanted to be the forefront of the Alphas mind. Frenzied for sex, needy under Asmodeus, begging for his skillful touch.

Holding your breath, you submerged yourself. Stupid thoughts...

Emerging, you wiped your face and took a deep breath. Maybe subjecting yourself to him every Saturday should end? It would be easier for you. Give him more time to bed who he pleased. Probably a pretty little Omega who would be everything you couldn't be for him.

Not showing up would mean you wouldn't get to spend so much time with him, but it also meant you wouldn't get so down on yourself.

Along with being so sad, you had also served to excite yourself thinking of Asmodeus going to town on an Omega.

Fuck. If you had just been born different. Asmo would be all over you in a moment. Your body withering under his touches as he fucked you through a heat cycle. Urges being met so completely for a week...

"Sweetie! What's the matter? Oh fuck, it's the bath, isn't it?" Asmodeus's hand yanking you up out if the tub made you scream as you moved to cover yourself.

A gasp left you as cold water hit your body. Asmodeus had turned on his shower head and was rinsing you off. His warm hands quickly sliding up and down your body, doing his best to remove the bubble bath from your skin and hair.

Dropping the shower head he cupped your face and used his thumbs to wipe your eyes.

When had you started to cry?

"Oh shit, sweetie, I'm so sorry. I didn't know it would hurt you. If I had, I would have never got it." He grabbed the towel that had been set by the edge of the bath and wrapped you in it. "I'm sorry it's so cold." He held you tightly to his chest.

It was a good thing your face wasn't showing, otherwise he'd see the embarrassment on your face. It wasn't the bubble baths fault, you'd made yourself cry. Though you'd rather die than ever admit it.

The smell of Asmo was tantalizing, his heart beat was fast in his perfectly sculpted chest as he held you tightly for a few moments longer before moving you from him at arms length, inspecting you. "Did I miss any spots? I'm so sorry it was cold." His hand swept a piece of wet hair from your face as he looked down to you.

"I'm okay, really. It's probably just because it's better suited to Omegas..." you moved your face from his hands and looked away. I was the best excuse you could come up with.

If you had been looking, you would have seen his eyes soften and the solemn smile on his face. "Maybe..." He turned to get the robe he purchased for you and averted his gaze as he handed it to you. "I'll pull out a sweater for you."

You took the robe as he excused himself.

---

Closing the door, Asmodeus leaned against it for a moment and let out a deep breath. Fuck. He had been holding you so close, any longer and he wouldn't have had enough time to escape without you noticing his bulge.

You had scared him half to death, and holding your shivering form to his body had ignited his Alpha responses. To protect you and care for you on a level much deeper than just a friend and as his pact holder.

He couldn't understand it. You had illicted responses like this from him before. Things a Beta shouldn't bring out in him. He thought it the pact...but even that could only explain part of it. It didn't happen to his brothers.

But he had smelled you. You were Beta through and through, which only served to confuse him. You were unique...maybe the answer laid in your genes. You had decended from angels, from a long lost sister...perhaps the need was so strong because of that. It was the only answer he had.

Pushing off of the door, he moved to his closet. You'd been shivering so hard in his arms, the clothes you had on wouldn't warm you fast enough for his liking.

Grabbing a grey sweater, he couldn't help but smile. You'd look ravishing in it. Your breast accentuated because of the low cut and the fit, the color neutral enough you wouldn't look washed out or sickly, allowing your skin to shine.

He also moved to grab a small pair of shorts. Yes, it defeated the purpose to warm you up, but your butt would look cute and it would give him an excuse to cuddle you in his bed. He'd just tell you it was so he could paint your toe nails...

Knocking, he waited for your response before opening the door. The robe he had gotten you matched his own, Mammon knew not to steal it, so if it was a perfect replica, his brother shouldn't mess with it. Plus, it meant he got to look at your legs...

You looked absolutely precious, cheeks heating as you pulled the robe down trying to conceal your exposed thighs. Your supple breast barely in the robe, as it didn't have room to accommodate your cup size. The cold water had hardened your nipples, the silk doing you no favors in hiding your predicament. Your thighs squeezing together... He looked to his phone to distract himself. "Sweater." He announced as he set it on the counter, trying not to think about how your breast felt under his hands, how he wished he could have taken his time and caressed them gently instead...

"T-thanks." You made no moves to grab the clothes as you stood and shivered. It felt like if you moved, your pussy or ass would be falling out of the itty bitty robe.

"Awww, are you feeling shy?" He couldn't help the words coming out. The need to tease you and see your cheeks heat had just overwhelmed him as he strode closer to you.

"Yes, okay!" You scoffed. "Like absolutely everything is just hanging out."

"Well, you don't have to worry, Mc. It's just me here." He purred, finger tracing down the front seam of your robe, down your breast and stomach, flicking the tie making you jump.

Of course you didn't, you weren't some sexy alluring Omega. You slapped his hand away and went for your clothes that were haphazardly on the floor. Making sure to face him so you didn't expose yourself, you picked up your shirt and pants, keeping your panties and bra wrapped in between your garments.

Changing the subject, Asmodeus grabbed the sweater and shorts and pressed them to your chest as he took your dirty clothes from your hands. "I'll add these to my wash. Also, I ordered some takeout." He turned and headed to the exit, "It should be here when you get out."

---

He had made the right choice, snatching your clothes from you. Knowing you were going commando in his clothes was driving him wild, but he held himself together as he watched you. Your eyes focused on his television as your toes dried, slowly finishing your dinner. He had done absolutely everything he could to you, but after the bubble bath incident, he was hesitant to mess with your skin. He didn't want to irritate it anymore than it had been already.

He watched you shift, . "What's wrong, hun?"

"I just...it's nothing. I think the sweater is over kill now." You fanned yourself.

"I'll be right back, I have just the top for you." He smiled as he went to his closet.

It had been exactly what you expected. An incredibly small razor back style tank top, crossed with a crop top. It would look absolutely hideous on you, but with how sweaty you were starting to get, you'd deal.

Giving a smile and a thanks, you went to his bathroom to change tops. Maybe you should run to your room and get a bra...this was definitely a top that needed a bra. At least the sweater had been thick...

Splashing some cold water on your cheeks and neck seemed to help too. After cooling yourself, you went back to Asmodeus's bed.

"I knew that top would look good on you." He smiled and gave you a wink as you crawled back onto his bed. Watching your breast shift as you maneuvered yourself, fabric sliding over your nipples, he drew his eyes back to your face to flash a smile. You were none the wiser.

"What's the heat set at in your room? It's still like a sauna in here."

He held the back of his hand to your forhead. "You are a bit warm, but try to give yourself some time to adjust. You only just now got out of the sweater.

You had fallen asleep watching your program with Asmo. The Avatar passed out beside you, his soft breathing the only sound in the room. It still hadn't gotten any cooler. His room heater must be broken. He wouldn't notice the difference, demons ran at warmer temperatures.

Sliding out of bed, you walked around his room, the air against your sweat soaked skin almost gave you a chill, but you welcomed it.

Maybe the takeout wasn't sitting well with you. Your stomach had started to cramp and the sweating hadn't stopped.

Halfway to the restroom, you let out a strangled cry. Slamming your hand over your mouth, you did your best to not wake Asmodeus. The last thing you wanted was for the Alpah to see you throw up.

The heater was aggravating. Hotter and hotter and hotter. At this rate, you'd need a shower. Moving from beside the toilet, you only made it half way before your legs gave out.

You must be really sick, the fact your legs had given out... you should call for Asmo. He could help.

Calling for the Alpha...you wanted to call his name in a different way. From below him as he shoved his cock into your cunt over and over, finding release in you.

You let out a shocked gasp. Your shorts were now soaked. You didn't pee. You know you didn't. Yet the warm wetness existed. Moving to crawl for the door, you fell to the floor when you slammed both hands over your mouth.

Your top and shorts had moved just right. So sinfully slow dragging over your hot skin and illicting such a debauched moan.

You began to panic. Something was really wrong! Maybe something you had ate had a weird effect on humans? That couldn't be though, you'd ate this before and been just fine!

Warm hands on the side of your face made you moan as they directed your gaze.

Asmodeus.

Feeling his body heat against your skin, the smell of him...it was almost too much to take as your stomach cramped again, yet your body needed to be close to the Avatar. "Asmo?" Your voice didn't even sound like yours. Warm, seductive, holding a tone of begging where you hadn't put any.

His nose at the nape of your neck only served to make you whine and lean into his touch. Fingernails scratching at his silk robe, desperate to touch more of the Alpha as your hips twitched. A whine leaving your lips as you looked up to him again. "What's wrong with me?"

A deep breath left the Avatar and the heat from his lips made you shudder as you looked up to him. His thumbs wiped your tears away as he panted, eyes never leaving you. "You're in heat, Mc." His voice was deep, strained.

"Beta. I'm a Beta." You whined as his fingers slowly traced down your throat, stopping just short of your cleavage, eyes never leaving your nipples poking through your thin tank top.

"False status. It isn't uncommon." He continued to pant, finger ghosting over your breast as he watched you try to lean into his touch. "I spurred you to heat. Some Omegas just need to be...touched by Alphas." He whispered as he pulled his hand back. "It's the bodies response and it finally pushed you over the edge. When I ran my hands over your body today, along with the cold water shock to your system...it must have stressed your body to finally have your first heat." His voice was shaking. Your smell, helpless look as you shook on his floor... he stood and moved to his door. "I can call Solomon. He can help get y-"

"No!" You whined, reaching out for him. "Please..." your body shook and the feeling in your lower stomach was growing. "Please don't leave."

It was almost more than he could take. Your shorts soaked with slick as you were so needy. "Mc, if I don't, I could hurt you." He licked his lips as his hand cupped his balls, cock already twitching in need to be buried deep in your wet pussy.

"Use me. Please. Asmo, your the Avatar of Lust." You squeezed your thighs as you tried to stand, only to fall to his floor again. A whine leaving you as you looked to him another cramp taking your form making you groan and more tears slip from your eyes.

"Fuck." He groaned, closing the distance to pull you up from the floor. Your desperate pleas and touches were taking over his senses and before he could talk himself out of it, he had hauled you to his bed, roughly throwing you into his sheets and pressing his body to yours. "Last chance to say no." He ground his erection into your clothed cunt, a growl leaving him.

"Fuck me. Use my Omega pussy to cum." You bucked against him with excitement in your eyes. "Fuck me as hard as you can. Please make this stop." You whined as you moved your shorts to the side.

Asmos tounge was exploring your folds before you could ready yourself. Pulling his hair to hold him closer you fought with yourself to keep your thighs open and to stop fucking his face.

The Avatars arms wrapped around your thighs and pulled you further down to him as he held your hips down. Tounge lapping at your clit as he let out a satisfied hum.

Usually he could pleasure a partner for hours, but your moans and the pleading tone of your voice made him feel a need to claim you that he hadn't felt in ages. The need to fill you overwhelming him as he pulled his robe open.

You held your knees up to your chest, exposing yourself to him as he held your shorts to the side. His cock rubbing at your pussy making you rock against him as he slowly slid into your cunt. A deep moan leaving him as he watched you gasp in ecstasy.

The sounds of flesh slapping filled the room as his free hand pulled your tank top up, breast bouncing as he fucked into you. His fingers finally being allowed to message your tits as he had wanted to all night.

The sounds you made were like a melody. "Do you want me to cum inside of you?" He panted as he pulled your shorts apart at the seams and threw them to the floor.

"Yes! Fuck Asmo, use me until you cum." Your begging voice driving him to speed up his pace and chase his high. Being so selfish during sex, he hadn't done this in years. Chasing his own high and neglecting his partner, he'd have to make it up to you later.

Pulling out of you, he watched as more tears fell from your eyes in protest. "Shhh, I'll use you. Your being so good for me, Mc. Begging and pleading for your Alpha." He removed your hands from your knees and rolled you over, only to pull you up by the shoulders and sheath his cock in your pussy from behind. Licking and kissing your neck as he pleased, one hand held your waist as the other squeezed your breast roughly before playing with your nipple.

His pace increased as he continued to claim you. Using you as he pleased until he came with a loud cry, stroking your walls as deep as he could while he continued to unload his full balls completely inside of you.

The sounds you made while he came inside of you had served to give him the best orgasm of his life. Your pretty voice begging for him, pleading for his seed to make the pain stop.

He guided you forward as his cock slipped from you, a mess of slick and his cum dripping from your tight pussy as he made sure your shaking body was okay. You'd have some bruises from his selfish treatment, but you were sure to have more by the end of the week.

Every time you woke, it was a fight to keep you hydrated and get some sort of food into you before slipping his cock back into your warm desperate pussy. On the third day, you seemed to have more of your bearings, but the desperation to have him inside of you still hadn't passed.

On day seven, he had been gentle with you. Going slow and worshipping you like he should have from the start. Apologizing for not being able to stop himself the first two days from roughly fucking you whenever you woke.

He had helped lots of Omegas through heat. It had been fun, but this...with you it had been a rollercoaster. One moment he was lost in his sin, nothing but the desire to cum fogging his brain, the next, he had been a worried mess about if you had gotten enough water. For seven days he hadn't even cared about his beauty sleep or beauty routine. It had all fallen to the wayside in favor of you. That's when he knew.

It was you.

You, who he'd chose to devote his life too in more than just a pact capacity. You, that he wanted to wake up next to everyday.

The soft smile on his face as he played with your hair had only grown as he placed the pieces together.

He'd have a lot to talk about with you when you woke.

#obey me #obey me!#obey me asmo #obey me asmodeus #obey me! asmo #obey me! asmodeus #asmo x mc #asmo x reader #asmodeus x reader #asmodeus x mc #obey me asmo x reader #obey me asmo x mc #alpha omega

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darksideofthemamon · 1 month

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God in Hellblazer vs Lucifer comics

I have a lot of thoughts on the angel characters from Hellblazer/Sandman/Lucifer (basically the DC/Vertigo comics era). I've had them for a long time but I guess I'm only getting to writing about it now. I have a whole essay to write about Remiel from Sandman, but for now, this should do as a warm up.

Though Hellblazer and Sandman are supposed to be in the same universe, it gets really messy with different writers and storylines going in different directions, more so when you include Sandman's spin-offs, like the Lucifer comics and its sequels.

I think one of the most glaring differences is their portrayal of God. God seems... so much nicer in the Lucifer comics (both the Mike Carey (2000) and Holly Black (2016) runs).

And I think a lot of this is caused by the themes of each story.

Hellblazer has some really strong political themes going on, so much that I can't possibly analyze them all. What I do know is that gods/angels/etc in the story tend to represent people in power and privilege. So for example, look at what John says to the archangel Gabriel in the bottom right panel: "You're the ones that make the frigging rules for us, and you don't even understand us!"

In effect, God, as well as the heavenly hosts, tend to be portrayed as jerks.

The Lucifer comics take a different approach. The story's themes tend to gear more towards family, identity, and free will. The protagonist is a really headstrong guy who wants to be free of his omniscient, omnipotent, dad. In his words (upper right panel): "This face is mine. This scar-- is mine. You may not have them. Not without my permission."

Because of the "messed up family" angle, God tends to come off as more well-meaning, but flawed.

Reading the comics together and considering them in the same universe can get jarring when God is so patient with Lucifer, but so damn harsh towards The First of the Fallen and Gabriel.

(and yes I know the Lucifer spin-offs aren't or are dubiously canon, but for this analysis, just consider them canon)

When Lucifer rebels and causes a whole war, God gives him a domain to rule over in order to give His son what he wants: to be away from Him. (top panels)

But when First of the Fallen and Gabriel even step a toe out of line? They get cast out of Heaven in painful, soul-crushing ways. (bottom panels)

And I guess it just ends up coming off as if God has some pretty massive favoritism towards Lucifer?? XD Like wow the Morningstar gets so much leeway, but FOTF and Gabriel get tossed out so fast??

In the end though, it doesn't bother me. I think the dynamic can even enhance the story in fascinating ways.

The story where these 2 portrayals get reconciled is through Gabriel's character in the Lucifer (2016) run by Holly Black.

Gabriel in this run shares a backstory with his Hellblazer self, and though the specific events leading to his Fall were only briefly touched upon, his treatment and relationship with his Father retains those themes of free will and identity, while also portraying God as harsh and tyrannical.

When a God that turned evil tries to take away his free will, Gabriel cries "Get out of my head! I was beyond your mercy before. Now I am beyond your reach."

God tossed him out so mercilessly the first time, so why does He get to control him now?

Gabriel in Hellblazer is a proud snob who views things through a very self-righteous black-and-white lens. It's revealed however, that his Father's strict rules and harsh punishments have left him anxious, guilty, and afraid (especially following an eye-opening interaction with John Constantine).

When he opens up about his problems to Julie (actually a succubus named Ellie) in Hellblazer, she says: "Look at you. What did he do to make you feel so scared and guilty?"

When it's revealed in Lucifer (2016) that Gabriel killed God, Lucifer says: "Our Father turned His back on you. And you were so angry. You've been angry for so long."

The Lucifer (2016) comic manages to show God through the lighter lens while also acknowledging his harsh treatment of Gabriel.

And we see this in Gabriel's character. In Hellblazer he's nervously looking over his own shoulder, in Lucifer (2016) he's proudly passion's fool.

And while we're talking about Gabriel, his self-actualization arc is one of the main reasons I love Holly Black's run despite its flaws!

I love how they continued his story from Hellblazer. There's a story about a guy living under his strict father's thumb who fell from grace when he was cast out, then got back up with the help of family and friends who support him. It says something that by the end of the story, he no longer works for Heaven but instead for Hell, serving under Mazikeen who acknowledged him at his lowest. He also gains his wings and heart back-- the former from Lucifer and the latter from Raphael, his brothers.

That's all I have to say XD. This was just supposed to be an observation but I ended up talking about Gabriel lol

#vertigo angels #sandman comics #lucifer comics #hellblazer #lucifer morningstar #first of the fallen #gabriel #analysis #just my thoughts

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sgiandubh · 9 months

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A stupid shipper's guide to the Peloponnese, part 2: Mycenae, my Craigh na Dun

Forgot to mention: Praxiteles' statue of Hermes still has faint cinnabar traces in its curls. Which makes that Hermes a ginger, hehe. You simply can't make this shit up. /end of poetic justice moment

Anyways. The very minute your car, bus or bike crosses the Corinth Canal, even if you cannot see it from the modern, German highway, you just know you are in the Peloponnese. Everything changes: the light, the landscape and even the silence. In summertime, cicadas reign supreme: mercifully, after a while, you don't hear them anymore and sleep like a log in daytime. Summer nights are always for something else, in this land.

Odysseas Elytis, my favorite Greek poet, knew something about all this:

"Drinking the sun of Corinth Reading the marble ruins Striding across vineyards and seas Sighting along the harpoon A votive fish that slips away I found the leaves that the sun’s psalm memorizes The living land that passion joys in opening."

So really, forget about the islands, spare some unsung, almost unknown gems. The heart of this country beats South of Corinth, and once you've realized this, there is no turning back.

Olympia and her little sister, Nemea, are all about joy and cheer and the sort of organized happiness the Ancient World was so adept at. But at Mycenae, we hit a different chord. It is home to this guy - the filthy rich, ruthless, rogue King Agamemnon.

"Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair":

Mycenae and I go back a couple of years and too many repeated, insistent expeditions to count properly. Even Zorba the car knows the way by himself, so all I have to do is wait for the right week-end, climb at the wheel and enjoy the scenery. Many dinners in town and embassy receptions have been traded for the simple joy to be awaken by kyria Panagiota's impertinent rooster (across the street) at 5 am and open my room's French doors to this view:

A mix of olive groves and vineyards, with the odd cypress tree randomly thrown around. 354 inhabitants. Two churches. Two stone bridges, built somewhere at the narrow end of the Stone Age and still treaded by tractors, cattle and unsuspecting pedestrians. And also this:

The Lions' Gate (the real one, not TPTB related), as photographed by me the day before yesterday, for the umpteenth time, proudly standing at the end of a steep-ish climb cursed daily in tens of different languages by thousands of tourists. As for Angkor Wat, you'd have to see it at sunrise or sunset to fully get the magic, in complete silence. Patience and determination will certainly be rewarded. For this place is rich with all the memories of those who once called it home, back in the day when it was one of the most powerful political and trade centers of the known world. The Cyclopean fantasy of a demi-god, which is all about flawless ownership of space and aggressive affirmation of one's worth. Or, as the obscure Alpheus of Mytilene aptly put it in an epigram, written some time around 0, AD: "a city built by giants and passing rich in gold".

Pic taken by me in late October 2021, that blessed age of innocence when I had no frigging idea of Craigh na Dun. Different light, same arresting view that plunges all the way to Argos and farther away, to the sea.

Cats rule the world. We know that (January 2023):

And then there's the Vault, half a mile down the road. If the Lions' Gate is about Space, the incorrectly named vault - a mausoleum, really - is about Time. Or rather the complete irrelevance of it:

Because I am not only stupid, but also nuts, I sometimes flip a coin, once inside. All binary answers were proven to be eerily accurate, with time. But things like this only show themselves to the believer. Last question asked is still technically up for confirmation, yet I - along with all of you here - know already it's a yes:

And yeah, I did it. What the heck. I had the place just for myself, and that is rare. Wouldn't you?

Mordor, I don't care about your pearl-clutching reaction. There is poetry to be found in the most unlikely of places. Especially in the most unlikely of places.

Walking back, I challenge you to pinpoint an exact year. It is impossible and there is a reason to it. This place and this view are timeless, of course:

In an unexpected, involuntary homage to the Atrides, the 354 inhabitants of modern Mykines still bury their dead all around Agamemnon's Vault.

Around an almost icy jug of Retsina wine, I asked my treasured friend V, the archaeologist: do you really think they ever left?

Are you nuts? And what would we do without them?

Coming back to a sweltering Athens, just imagine my head shake in disbelief watching Lasagna Lady once again clinging to that poor guy's T-shirt, the bickering between C's stans about who is the most telepath of them all and the wailings about the lack of secksay content in Episode 7.

Seriously, Fandom? Is this the best you can give me?

Episode I am hurrying to watch, nevertheless. But first, the laundry. Fair's fair.

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atopfourthwall · 9 months

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Final modern Trek question then I’ll be good: What’re your honest thoughts and feelings on Strange New Worlds Season 1? Pros and cons, how it differs from Discovery and what it does either better or worse? The direction and writing, and if you feel it’s a step in the right path for current Trek shows? I watched it and I personally loved it, but I’m so curious to know what you think.

It is MOSTLY good. Its biggest strength is standalone episodes but compelling character arcs, which was the right call to make. We don't need a mysterious space hole or whatever to keep us invested week after week - just have a story with a beginning, middle, and end - do Star Trek stuff like meet new, weird, alien races and find interesting solutions to problems. The characters can change and advance and we can learn new things about them that influence how we next see them. The characters are just generally likeable and PROFESSIONAL. Professional is really the watchword I should keep bringing up - one of the reasons why I'm so uninterested in watching Lower Decks is because I continually see in gifs a bunch of BOZOS. Morons in command, morons doing the gruntwork. Oh, sure, I don't doubt they do their jobs and live and etc., etc., but nothing about them screams "These are people I would want to trust with exploring the galaxy." I see fanboys and people who shouldn't be anywhere near a phaser, much less the big chair. One of the episodes that many wouldn't put on their highest-ranking list of episodes for season 1 of Strange New Worlds is "Ghosts of Illyria." But it's entirely my jam - the stuff I want out of Star Trek. An interesting sci-fi mystery, character revelations, professionals doing their best to solve the problem, raising some interesting moral questions that will have to be revisited down the road, etc. For many it's just kind of "meh," but for me it made me want to watch more of it again after a long absence after watching the first two episodes. I want to see smart people being smart and solving problems. That's reductive, I know, but it's what gets me every time when watching. Now, as for the cons... well, ironically with that word the big problem is CONTINUITY. There are NUMEROUS continuity issues with this series, not the least of which being T'Pring - Spock's fiancé. There is no reason she should be such a significant part of the show. Everything that we saw in Amok Time seemed to suggest they were not close, had not seen each other in a long time, and the attitude T'Pring had in that is at odds with how she's portrayed as so loyal and dedicated to Spock in SNW. And given her reasons for breaking off her engagement in Amok Time, unless they REALLY openly contradict it with, I don't know, some kind of big betrayal or emotional fallout with Spock, I have a hard time believing that she'd break it off with him there. Don't get me wrong - the bodyswap episode was still good, but the problem again comes down to "I do not see a reasonable way for these two to no longer be together for Amok Time." The show focuses too much on old characters and not enough on new ones. I've already seen Spock's character development in TOS and the movies. I don't need MORE of it here, especially whenever they bring up Discovery. I don't need to see Pike's dilemma about his future - I know what's going to happen there. Uhura is a fine character... but I've seen her already. Give me more of everybody else - journeys for them, arcs for them, change for them. Killing Hemmer was dumb. Killing him while turning the Gorn into xenomorphs was dumber. Having the Gorn at all is dumb given we were pretty sure their first contact with the Federation was Arena in TOS. You could have invented a new baddie and gotten the same effect. Hell, it would have been better since one of the points of Arena is that we judged the Gorn as being aggressive, evil, and monstrous partially because of their appearance... but here comes SNW to be like "Oh, yeah, they are the absolute friggin' WORST. Unimaginably monstrous and horrible." Stop making all the uniform variants try to match with Discovery's stupid uniforms.

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steakbatter · 6 months

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WWWWAAAAHHHH I DIDNT KNOW YOU STARTED POSTING AGAIN!!! i like your new interest in taxidermy, its super pretty to look at. im excited to see more of your art!!!

HEY TONI, of course i remember you!! you're so frigging sweet :,) thank you so much!! i've been interested in taxidermy since high school but i'm a man of 5 billion interests but i'm not able to keep any ongoing!! a while ago it was collecting vintage model diecast cars. i don't have enough people to show them off to so i will show here!

#the interest of insect taxidermy is developed to fill the hole in my heart of not being able to become a coroner #extra flesh

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thelemonsabbath · 2 months

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Gazing in the eyes of a beautiful monster

Miki accidentally backed herself against a tree upon seeing the wild look in Ryo's eyes as he slowly approached her. His blood-stained clothes and knife were just the icing on this terrifying sight the blond was now. She had known from their very first meeting all those years ago that he was dangerous and had always blamed herself for letting him take Akira away from her that day, and the awful change Ryo had brought out in Akira both scared and excited her. But now Miki knew more than ever that she should've fought harder to keep Akira away from Ryo, especially after having witnessed him brutally slaying that demon, all with that awful and beautiful crazed grin on his face. Despite the fact that demon had been threatening her not too long ago, she almost felt sorry for the beast in the way it had cried out in pain as Ryo relentlessly stabbed it over and over again to death. She had been saved, but for how long she couldn't help wondering. What if the crazed bloodlust she could see in Ryo's eyes would drive him to coat his knife with human blood as well?

And yet with possible upcoming danger casually strolling towards her, Miki found herself frozen in place, feeling as though she had nowhere to run or hide, not with the demons all around in the forest. Miki couldn't help but flinch when Ryo suddenly slammed his knife, deeply cutting into the tree and dragging the blade down until it was right besides her head. Before she could catch her breath, she felt the the tree trunk start to move and twist against her back, and the sounds of pained agony emanating from it made her heart jump in her chest.

Ryo curled hand around her wrist tightly, "Ms Makimura, there you are. Now, come with me. Akira would be so happy to know that you are alright." His voice was breathy and as intense as his bright and wild blue eyes, like he was still riding the high that slaying a demon or two had given him.

"Fine, I want to leave this forest as soon as possible too..." Miki replied, as she glared at Ryo, while allowing herself to be pulled close to him. She didn't have much of a choice, she had to stay with this horribly beautiful killer until she could be reunited with Akira again.

Ryo's wild eyes softened slightly as he led her away from the horrors, perhaps the high he had been overwhelmed with was starting to subside. "You know, I had always wondered what Akira saw in you, but now, having seen you in this elegant dress and smiling with him earlier, I think I understand... The whole world really does become brighter when you smile... like its being bathed in the warm rays of your beauty," he said as they were reaching the exit, his tone too smooth as velvet for her liking. And the gentle way he was handling her, it was making her forget what a monster he was. No, more like an attack dog who was now cozying up to its owner after a successful hunt, becoming harmless and affectionate, just like... Akira does...

But Miki couldn't be sure if Ryo was being sincere with this flattery or flirting of his own accord in this moment or not, or merely buttering her up for some reason, and that uncertainty made it hard for her to completely relax around him. And that horrible sense of danger that surrounded Ryo was as compelling to her as it was repulsive... "You're just saying that... Its like you are comparing me to the sun..." she said, hating the way her cheeks heated up. What the hell was wrong with her?

Ryo halted his steps and turned to Miki, smearing blood onto her chin as he cupped her face with his bloodied hand, "Oh, I can assure you I am not just giving you worthless flattery, Ms Makimura, because like the sun, if that light of yours goes out, then we are all lost..."

Miki was lost for words as she felt a chill run down her spine. Whatever he had meant by that, she deep inside knew he was right, and it had brought out both anger and fear within herself.

"So you should stay with me and Akira. I know we frighten you at times, but it's better to stay with monsters that hunt much worse monsters," Ryo stated as his hand moved up to cup her cheek, making her mirror the bloodiness on his own face.

"I-I suppose I can't disagree with that idea..." Miki swallowed, as she brought her fingers to touch his hand, dirtying herself even more with the blood Ryo had spilled earlier...

Ryo just smiled at her with satisfaction before they both heard Akira's voice call out to them as he ran over to them, leaving Miki wondering how much horror she was about to witness in the name of them protecting her...

Okay, after writing all of that, now I can explain why I made this picture XD first of all I've been playing Law of the Beast from the League of Dreamers app and I've been really enjoying it so far, it's really creepy and intense, and the characters/love interests are really interesting! And there was this one scene in ep 3 where the MC follows this hunter named Casper (he's crazy for sure and yes, a possible LI XD) to see what he was up to and needless to say it's intense confrontation

and when I saw that, I thought it would be fun to redraw this as Miki and Ryo, since one, I adore Ryo's manic expressions in the manga and the ova

and two, I do enjoy giving the ova version of Miki and Ryo a messy af relationship! XD

Btw if you like what you see and want a commission drop me a direct message on tumblr, instagram, a note on deviantart or artistree https://artistree.io/missn11

#devilman #fanart #my art #miki makimura #devilman ova #ryo asuka #ryo/miki #knife #blood #league of dreamers #digital fanart #digital art #artists on tumblr #law of the beast

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shychick-52 · 1 year

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Akita's treatment of Gyro, its lasting effects on him, and how Gyro rose above it - Part 1

**LONG POST**

Ok, this is the first of a two-part post about one of my favorite parts of ‘Astro B.O.Y.D.’... the dynamic between Gyro and Akita. (The link to Part 2 is at the bottom)

Well, it was heavily implied that Akita was even more cruel to Gyro than Gyro was to Fenton- cold, harsh, demeaning, treating him as utterly worthless (anything he had to say, his value as a scientist and as a person, and all his hard work). He even addressed him as nothing but ‘intern’, just as Gyro always did to Fenton (and it’s my hc that Gyro earned his doctorate before the ‘2-BO disaster’, but Akita only continued to call him ‘intern’; the fact that Boyd called Gyro ‘Dr. Gearloose’ when he was first reunited with him early in the episode indicates this. There was also a graduation picture on his old desk in Akita's old lab, but it’s unclear if that was for his high school diploma or his doctorate, but I believe the latter). In fact, many of us in the fandom believe Akita was not only verbally abusive, but physically abusive.

Point A- When Gyro brings up his old mentor early on in the episode, he is clearly filled with pure loathing in his body language, face, and tone as he goes: “Back when I was just a lowly intern under the infamous… Dr. Akita.”

Point B- Just look at the way he flinches and freezes up when Akita sharply cuts him off while trying to advocate for '2-BO' about his identity as a real boy ("NO! Now, go prep the monitors for the field test!"):

Point C- Consider Gyro’s body language and expressions in these two separate scenes when he came face-to-face with Akita after 20 years:

In that first scene, this was the very first time he saw him in so long. And even though Akita had just ordered Boyd to attack them and the city (and up to that part, it was his worst fear that '2-BO would turn evil again), I totally think the shock of suddenly running into Akita again very much triggered him and only added to his anxiety.

And in the second scene, Akita was approaching them in the air on his hovering platform and saying sneeringly, “An intern with his own intern. Now, I’ve seen everything.” Gyro's expression clearly conveyed how especially triggered he felt, having Akita actually speak to him- that old demeaning address of “intern”, that cruel tone he never thought he'd hear again. Also, their respective physical positions- Gyro below and Akita above- was a metaphor for the power balance in their former relationship, with “lowly” Gyro always under him to suffer his abuse.

Thanks to Huey’s keen observation skills, Gyro spotted Boyd's real core memory, uncovering the truth about his and Boyd’s pasts. I think even before a sense of freedom and relief (and even guilt for how he had viewed and treated Boyd) could set in, he was absolutely overcome with shock, horror, and rage. Not only that he had been betrayed by Akita, but equally- if not more- for Boyd’s sake, who he had blamed along with himself all those years. That poor, innocent child, who Gyro once cared about like a son and whose rights he defended to Akita, was just as much an unsuspecting victim and a pawn as Gyro in Akita’s mad quest for power.

He immediately called Akita out on what he did- making it all about Boyd instead of himself, which I really loved because it proved his feelings were largely paternal- a parent confronting an injustice done to their child. And what makes this even more interesting is that Gyro immediately went from (I'm paraphrasing here) '2-BO is dangerous, he needs to be destroyed!' to 'How could you do that to him, you monster??'

(Actual dialogue) "Oh, intern. 2-BO is and always will be a weapon for power, for evil."

(Actual dialogue) "Not all my inventions are evil!"

(Actual dialogue) "Some are just WILDLY MISUNDERSTOOD!"

Yeah, Gyro goes frigging feral. With those same words he always used to defend his machines, he unleashes a lifetime of frustration and rage. But again, it’s about more than just himself and a lifetime of wounded pride and failure as an inventor- it’s strictly coming from a place of righteous, paternal fury. And although he views all his machines like his children, Boyd is special because he was his ‘first-born’- his first sentient creation, but not the first to go evil after all- and he was actually made to be like a real child in the first place. Armed with the truth about what Akita did to Boyd, Gyro was speaking specifically on Boyd’s behalf even more than all his ‘failed’ machines combined.

(See Part 2 here)

#reposted from my defunct blog #ducktales #ducktales 2017 #gyro gearloose #boyd gearloose #dr. akita #character analysis #headcanon #astro b.o.y.d.#Frig I am cringe

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fudge24-7 · 3 months

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Spamton for the send the character thing 👍

Send Me a Character & I'll Tell You✨️

My first impression:

I thought he was a fun character, I didn't think about how odd he was nearly enough though, he reminded me of mad dummy a bit with how he jumpscared me from some trash and wanted my soul, i was also reminded of mettaton when he mentioned showing off our soul, in general spamton felt like a classic undertale interaction, which I should have realised was odd to have in deltarune where practically no one else even mentions your soul, was a bit surprised how much everyone was into him because I never did his side quest due to misunderstanding his instructions, but I also couldn't blame them because he's pretty fun

My impression now:

God, I love him so much, I want to kiss this puppet scam artist so bad, And His lore drives me insane in a good way, so damn tragic, Yet he's also really dang funny too, it's honestly a shame I didn't get to do his sidequest blind before getting things from it spoiled, or maybe it is good I nearly cried watching my sister beat spamton neo when I already knew what was gonna happen, I can only imagine how much emotional damage it would have dealt if I experienced it blind, all in all a wonderful character he's been living in my head rent free for almost 3 years now

Favorite thing about that character:

Hmm, that's tough, maybe a tie between his lore and his dialogue/personality, I frigging love how much there is to this guy, I might have to go with dialogue honestly though there's so many good lines of his

Least favorite thing:

Probably the fact he calls noelle a hoochie mama (well "hochi mama" but its not hard to geuss thats what hes trying to say), sir that is a teenager why are you basically calling her a whore- (I should probably clarify I don't see this as like a writing flaw on Toby's part, it's just probably my least favorite thing about spamton personally)

Favorite Line/scene:

Line wise it's a bit silly, but "YOU'VE GOT [guts] KID! THATS [Discomfort and abdominal pain] IN MY [guts]!", idk it seems like he's going to say something positive about kris having guts, and then he says that, hilarious to me, "turn up the juice turn up the juice make sure to not get any on your shoes" is pretty dang great too though

as for scene, deffinitly the one where you've almost cut all his strings during the neo fight. Obviously it ends very sadly with him just falling on the ground and realizing he'll never be free but, idk him finally realizing kris is trying to help him, it's bittersweet, he's probably been pretty convinced for a while no one would ever genuinely want to help him, and he seems so touched when he finally realizes kris does, it gets to me, the scene after he falls on the ground is really good too

Favorite interaction that character has with another:

His interactions with kris is kind of an obvious one, but Honestly, I think his interaction with noelle we learn about from the sweepstakes is really sweet, how she was the first person to read his emails, so he sent her that code for a pipis in that game she played, which his brackets imply was probably the first gift he ever gave anyone, idk to me it shows a sweeter side to spamton you don't usually get to see, also the implication that even when he tries to do something nice he ends up sending a suspicious link that crashes a cumpter is pretty funny (also kind of sad when you really think about it)

A character that I wish that character would interact with more:

Hmm, maybe noelle I geuss? Or berdly maybe that would be pretty damn interesting to me, I do get why we never see him do so in chapter 2 though

Another character from another fandom that reminds me of that character:

Hmm, I can't think of any that came to mind while i was playing, do ones you think of afterwards after seeing them count? Theres honestly quite a few... but you know what you can have one that deals me slight psychic damage, jack frost from the 3rd Santa Claus movie, yeah you know the movie trilogy that started with a man becoming Santa after the original died from falling off his roof? Jack frost from the 3rd one kind of reminds me of him

A headcanon about that character:

I like to think his brackets quoting ads and things in the internet constantly is like when autistic people quote things from movies and things like that to help communicate, Yes this is basically me headcanoning him as Autistic, actually there's more related to him being autistic where that came from, the fact his smile is an "award losing" one being the result of him not being able to control his facial expressions well, him being a spam email while his peers are regular ads could work really well as allegory for being autistic among allistics as well, especailly being undiagnosed with how the addisons say he was "just like the rest of us" and don't seem to want to acknowledge or say that he's different from them in any way, even though he is, and how because he most likely didn't realise he was, he tried really hard to be like them and failed and didn't get why (before he gets that phone call even), (idk of toby fox intended for it to be, part of why its with headcanon stuff, i just think it could be interpreted that way)

this one's a bit of a stretch, since he probably is willing to push boundaries to get what he wants if how he acts when you try to decline his deal is anything to go by, but he also doesnt seem to ever acknowledge how uncomfortable he makes kris, going all the way up to their face even though they backed up from him, I could see that being him being bad at picking up social cues, and also struggling with boundaries like how close you should get to someone (like i said, it's deffinitly a stretch)

A song that reminds me of that character:

Too many, I have a private 2 hour long playlist on spotify full of songs that make me think of this guy, if I typed out every one that would be a lot of songs so just have a few, 'Everybody Loves Me' by OneRepublic (specifically him during his big shot days in 1997), 'The Drunk' by Kiltro, and 'Shake My Hand, Look In My Eyes' by Rinse & Repeat

An unpopular opinion about that character:

Was going to say not believing in acid theory, but I feel like that isn't unpopular enough so, I don't think he was as much of a shy wittle soft guy uwu as people make him out to be pre big shot days, I mean it's not impossible, but the one thing we learn about him is that he'd run his mouth about making it big some day every night he was at the cyber grill, which tells me he was probably more like, ambitious and confident really, I mean I'm sure deep down he had his doubts but I don't think he was that open about them

I mean there's nothing wrong with portraying him as shy, and once again he could have been for all we know, but I think it's refreshing when people approach addispam differently, and it would be nice to see more takes based off what we're given rather then what would seem more sad

Favorite picture:

Every. single. one. Ok actually to be more specific one of these two, hard to pick, love how messed up he looks in the right one from the door knob thing, but I also love the left one because look at him, he's so happy to be eating that nice big cheeseburger, he should get to eat big tasty cheeseburgers forever <3

#fudge does a talky talk #thank you for the ask!#and the excuse to talk about spamton for that matter #can you tell i love talking about him #hes probably my favorite guy ever #i would give him my heart and soul so fast #also dang the autism headcanon ended up being the longest part

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ackalice · 5 months

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Hiiiiiiiiiiiiii :D I'm being really slow sadly for digital art because my pc really fricking sucks because its a frigging snail lmao SO I wanted to show ya all the ref drawings that you never saw :3 (I will also send the ones you already saw)

I somehow can't find his digital version anywhere on my pc????? (I'm not happy, but I'm sure I'll find it)

Aaaaaaaaand some lil sneakpeeks of Angelica (Mikey's) and Caleb & Ryder (Raph's twins) :DD

I know its a lot but I wanted to give you these as a thank you, keep going I encourage you!! and sorry for not doing anymore tmnt stuff in a while Buut :3 I have three oneshots in the writing, right now :D I started drawing Marisol And another tmnt drawing that I'm keeping secret for now :33

AUGH

AGH

AGAHABAHHHJOHICNDKJANOCJHASKNCSJKNJOANCKJNKJSNAKJCNKAAAAAAAA

YOUR ART! HAND IT OVER! I WANNA NOM ON IT ITS SO GOOD!!

OMFG MEELU!!! Thank you!! They all look SO GOOD OMG

Don’t apologize at all!! I haven’t even been creating stuff for a while so you don’t owe me any apology. Thank you so much for the encouragement!! I’ll pass it right on back to you in double! Your characters are so colorful and fun and AHHH!!

And I relate to the computer thing I’m a windows 10 laptop user that’s been in the family for years now lol.

#mutuals #beloved mutuals #tmnt #rottmnt #mutuals art #ask #thank you meelu!!! <3 /p

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unravellingsilencehq · 1 year

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“Oh, Merlin, tell me, does THE RUNAWAY get what she deserves?” She is NEUTRAL & CLOSED to finding out.

— she walks through the world as ;

name → corin hale pronouns → she/her identification → cis-female year of birth → september 1960 - september 1961 face claim → odeya rush blood status → muggle (werewolf) sexual orientation → up to roleplayer occupation → petty criminal future information → n/a

— she is best described as ;

A PUNCH to the FACE, a LIONHEARTED woman with ATTITUDE, BRIMMING with CONFIDENCE, STRONG & STURDY. She’s as LOYAL as they come, the kind of person to give you their last COIN, a FRIENDLY face in a crowd and a SMILE that could break a HEART. TOUGH and worn like LEATHER. She’s SWEET like buttered popcorn & as DEADLY as a well aimed THROWING KNIFE.

— her story starts with ;

TW: death, blood, violence

Corin Hale’s life hasn’t ever been easy, but over the past three years it’s gotten even harder. Her life before she was bitten was relatively normal, though it has been so long the details Corin now finds fuzzy. Growing up in Radlett just outside of London, she was once the eldest daughter of Atai and Ekaterina Hale. A school teacher and a lawyer, they had wealth and Corin once wanted for nothing. It was the classic tale of a girl from North London, Friday night dinner, trips to the synagogue and playing second parent to her two younger sisters. She would frog march to Haberdashers' Girls' School, while her parents laughed. The world was at Corin’s feet and she rose each day with the knowledge that fate had been kind to her and given who she was, she could be anything she wanted. At seven years old what Corin wanted to do was be in the theatre. A larger than life character, she would organise her toys and her sisters to watch her perform, escaping to far off worlds where she’d transport them. All she ever wanted was to be up there with the greats. and it was this desire that led her parents to take them one evening after school to The Globe Theatre to watch a performance. Wide eyed, Corin was in her element, sitting on her father’s shoulders, looking intently at the stage as Much Ado About Nothing played out.

When the performance concluded, Corin begged her parents to let her meet the cast and get her program signed. But with her sisters tiring, the answer was no, but Corin had other ideas. Never one to listen to things her elders said, Corin ducked past her parents in the crowd, made her way back to the stage and waited, program in hand. She waited a long while, the cold evening air wrapping its arms around her. Eventually the cast came out and the excitement hit. Hugging her programme she watched them leave. The excitement faded and Corin realised she was alone. She knew London well enough, despite being so young she had always been resourceful and began the walk to Blackfriars where she could explain to someone that she’d gotten lost. Corin hadn’t made it far away from the theatre when fate intervened. It was a woman. At first anyway, who cornered her and asked if she was lost. Without thinking Corin told her of her plan to get back to Radlett and the woman offered to help. Taking her hand, they walked towards the station, until Corin was pulled into an alleyway and the woman was replaced with a wolf. Biting down hard on Corin’s shoulder, she felt the blood pool down her body and her life flash before her eyes. But before the wolf could continue to ravage her, it licked her shoulder and ran off into the night.

The screams attracted the attention of a couple who took her to the hospital and her parents were called. The next few days were a blur for Corin, in a trace due to the pain and home from school due to the attack. The night of the first full moon was where everything came into focus. One moment she was herself, the next she was an animal, running through the streets of Radlett howling at the moon. When she awoke she was in a park, covered in grass and mud, with every memory of where she’d been and frightened this was now her life. Hysterically she told her parents and begged them to try and understand but they didn’t believe her until it was too late. Trying to get outside of her house to transform, Corin watched in horror as her father held her back. She turned, he was holding on to her. Then suddenly he wasn’t and she’d escaped through the patio door. Only small due to her age, Corin wasn’t able to fully attack him, but when she returned home she found him clawed to pieces and the carpet covered in blood. Her parents tried desperately to help. They took her to hospitals but no one believed them. On full moons they chained her up in the garage where no one would see. She was a schoolgirl by day and a monster by night. Her life wasn’t normal. At night she would listen to her parents argue and cry while her sisters hugged each other in the doorway. Corin knew she was the issue and while she was there they’d never be safe.

One day, she packed up her backpack with all her belongings. Took it to school and left during lunchtime, with one thought in mind. Finding the wolf who had bitten her. She got by by stealing things, pick-pocketing and checking herself into hostels to avoid being on the streets before KAMALI SKENDER [mother] found her. Kamali ran Le Cirque Des Rêves, a travelling circus that was making its way round Europe and was stopping off in London for the summer. Aside from the strange woman who changed her, Kamali was the only werewolf that Corin had ever met and when she asked her to join the circus Corin agreed. Kamali became like a mother to Corin, teaching her everything she needed to know about the world she now belonged to and giving her a home. Corin didn’t think she’d ever find happiness after the bite, but with Kamali and then a few weeks later when SILAS CRUMP [father] joined the circus, she believed her life could be different. Time seemed to move differently for them. They became a family, performing in wizarding districts around the world and spreading their joy. By the time they returned back to London, Corin was twenty-two. A woman and an esteemed member of the troupe that she hoped to one day help run with her parents. London was not how Corin had remembered it and she watched as her father changed in its presence.

The once happy seemed darker and people whispered of dark wizards and cloak and dagger plans made by candle light. Feeling unwell after a performance, Corin walked back to their wagon to find her father frantically packing his belongings. Instantly her mind became sharp. Silas would never leave him and Kamali, something had happened and she wasn’t going to let him slip away without her help. Cornering him, Corin began packing her things and insisted he take her with him. He revealed everything to her, about his past, his family before them, the death of his sister and the two sorcerers who had come to collect. The pair slept in inns, apperated daily and tried to blend in but eventually RABASTAN LESTRANGE [adversary] and BELLATRIX BLACK [adversary] caught up with them. It was a full moon in Nottingham and just before Corin could shift, she felt her body be swept up. Her father was gone and Corin was chained in a basement by a collar. Having taken the wolfsbane her father had brewed Corin knew her mind and knew something was wrong. Most of the time she was alone in the basement, occasionally brought food and drink by the gruesome pair or SEVERUS SNAPE [adversary]. They wanted access to the circus, to the creatures. They wanted to know everything about them but Corin wouldn’t say a single word.

They used spells to try and make her talk, wicked magic that made every single part of her body scream out in pain. But Corin wouldn’t say a word. She was unsure how much time had passed before she saw the world again. They had stopped giving her wolfsbane a long time ago as punishment and were normally quite rigid with the checks until one night they weren’t. Severus had chained her up, but the chains hadn’t been changed in some time, worn by the nights spent pulling on them. When Corin transformed the chain broke from the wall and with the weight and power she now wielded it was nothing for her to break through Mr Mulpepper’s wooden basement door even with its enchanted locks. A rabid animal hungry for blood, Corin steamed through the streets, attacking anything in sight. ANDRESSA PARKINSON [victim], RODOLPHUS LESTRANGE [victim] and ROSALINE DAVIS [victim] were not known to her, faces in a crowd people in her way that were lucky enough to have people round them who could fight her off with their magic. When Corin came round on Hampstead Heath she had every memory of the night before, her life spent in the basement and her burning desire to find her family and get revenge. Now free, Corin hopes to learn everything she can about Bellatrix, Severus and Rabastan to make them pay for what they’ve done.

— she is a LEVEL 7 WEREWOLF & readied for war ;

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