Jack: Is it cheating on your wife if you kiss a fish, Phil?
Phil: Depends? Like, on the mouth? Or like-
Jack: What on EARTH does that mean???
Kristin:
Jack: COMPLETELY reasonable, Kristin. That is such a reasonable thing. [...] If you were to ask me off the top of my head, "Hey, if you could kiss any fish, which fish would it be?" I feel- I'm gonna s- I'm gonna hazard 75% of people are sayin' that fish [Lola from Shark Tale] and I'm saying the res- the remaining 25 are saying that one with the scar from Finding Nemo.
a 2 act tragedy starring me: i’ve been making fruit smoothies in the morning for a few days which has been great because it’s getting me to actually eat fruit for once, only to go on the internet and be told that it apparently releases all the natural sugars so it's actually Not that great for you and i am devastated