#ftmtb

[ftmtbpod]

6.13.24

i had actually posted the first episode all the way back in April, but then I got scared and embarrassed of my voice LMAO.

anyway, i got over that (it took months) but the first episode is now live!!

you can listen wherever!

also! here are the transcripts for the first episode!! i wanted to make sure that i included them because i have APD and i know that i always have to read along to podcasts!

i'm recording the second episode tonight and hope to have it edited and posted soon as well

anyway i think thats it! thanks everyone <3

content warnings for this episode include:

brief mentions of death

[aluminumallium]

Wait til batman gender comes out

[petshopbutch]

ftmtb (female to male to butch)

[classicslesbianopinions]

ftmtb (female to male to bird)

[pithuffingmutt]

hey, found you through illmutt, just curious what ftmtb means? i get the first part, i am also trans but uh... whats tb in this context?

female to male to bigender/butch, I like that the b can stand for both :3 I have a complicated relationship w my gender and feel both masc and fem in a trans way? and it's difficult to articulate that

I edited my abt literally yesterday to change FtM to FtMtB bc I felt like it reflects my transition experience more accurately... I'm both a man/woman simultaneously, as well as neither (AN)... I hope this makes sense :P

[blood-teeth]

D E M O D R O P

okay, i did say March!

anyway, the first three chapters are now available to play on itch.io!

Features:

learn the environment around you

meet your mecha

come to understand your place on the chess board

first 3 chapters at ~13k words

 be in...pain

Some notes: 

i did not have anyone beta read this! if you see any mistakes, whatsoever, please feel free to let me know! it helps make sure that I'm putting out the best content i can. 

over the next little while i'll constantly be pushing updates, bug fixes, tweaks here and there. be on the lookout for a brand-new UI soon. it's... taking me longer than anticipated to polish it up. i hope this one will suffice for now. 

i think that's about it! enjoy and let me know what you think <3 thanks again <3 <3 

[ftmtbpod]

PODCAST INTRODUCTION: From This Mouth That Bleeds

a retro-mecha cyberpunk sapphic audio drama (coming soon!)

Blurb

"Humanity took to the stars and left us for dead." Lorelei knows the end. Has seen it flicker along the edges of her home, catch fire to everything she's ever known. Has felt it gnaw its way into her bones, watching as the last safety ship glinted starlight in the sky. Lorelei knows the end. And she knows everything after, too. Lieutenant Lorelei Reeves is a first-generation, three-star pilot for the United Forces of the Red Remembrance. She is the only pilot capable enough to helm the UFRR's greatest mystery; Acheilus, an antiquated shark mecha from before The End. It is a time of peace; the bitterness from the Coalition of The Last Frontier's abandonment has long since diluted away in favor of lucrative trade deals from space - goods that could only benefit the UFRR's longevity underseas. It is a good deal, kind, even. Generous. But Lorelei cannot help but taste the tang of deceit between her teeth. The sickly stick of rot amplifies after she spots another shark mecha circling the edges of UFRR's water space. Sleek black and glinting metal - a convincing imitation of the UFRR's mechanics. The problem with this: Lorelei captains the only shark in the entire fleet.

Themes

loss, grief, being homesick for a home that no longer exists, loud-mouthed pilots, and trauma-stricken lesbians.

Snippet

My hands shake. Admiral Thetis was right about one other thing, too. I had been gone for a long time; I'd been gone for months. Months of an endless blue that pervaded my eyes, an infinitum of mouthless words, and moments to think and move as I pleased. I'd rediscovered creatures that hadn’t been seen in years, listened as whales called through, and laughed when other sharks circled Acheilus, trying to communicate. It might have been the closest thing to peace that I've ever felt.  Peace does not exist in the lion’s den— a name I've mocked HQ with —  instead, the oppressive nature of fear lies thick along the walls of the hull. Fear is every step you take, it is every beating heart, every conspired whisper. It exists within the hollows of my cells, in every ill-intended look cast my way. I am fear and they make me believe it. 

Taglist: let me know if you want to be added <3

Other socials

Twitter | Playlist | Buy me a coffee <3

[blood-teeth]

"You remember the end. You remember everything after, too.

Have seen it flicker along the edges of your home, catch fire to everything you've ever known. Have felt it gnaw its way into your bones, watching as the last safety ship glinted starlight in the sky. Losing a home you had never known did not hurt as bad as losing the home you have only ever known. This distinction had been made very clear to you in the end.

Fear is every step you take, it is every beating heart, every conspired whisper. It exists within the hollows of your cells, in every ill-intended look cast your way. You are fear. And they make you believe it. "

You are the lone first-generation, three-star pilot of the United Forces of the Red Remembrance.

And you will be the last.

You are the only pilot capable enough to helm the UFRR's greatest mystery and secret shame; Acheilus, an antiquated shark mecha left over from before The End. He is your only friend in the abyss of the ocean.

It is a time of peace. The bitterness from the Coalition of The Last Frontier's abandonment has long since diluted away in favor of lucrative trade deals from space - goods that could only benefit the UFRR's longevity underseas. It is a good deal, kind, even. Generous.

But you cannot help but taste the tang of deceit between your teeth. The sickly stick of rot amplifies after you spot another shark mecha circling the edges of UFRR's water space. Sleek black and glinting metal - a convincing imitation of the Remembrance's mechanics. The problem with this: you captain the only shark in the entire ocean.

"Humanity took to the stars and left us for dead."

From This Mouth That Bleeds is a retro-mecha cyberpunk created with Twine that focuses primarily on choice, the never-ending landscape of loss, and something about the monsters you keep.

- A fully customizable MC including gender, appearance, and sexuality. - Mechas, time travel, and a war that never ends.

- a setting both placed underwater and in space

- the end of the world

Ophelia - The only daughter of the Coalition of The Last Frontier. She is largely a question mark, her name whispered around like a demon of old —Void Jumper— but other than that, you don't know anything about her, nor do you care to.

So why do you keep seeing her in your dreams?

Jonah - The lead doctor of Base Alpha and only other first-gen similar in age to you. He's got kind eyes and gentle hands, always looking to be your friend, despite your stark opposition.

You've known him your whole life. And it's this familiarity that allows you to say that underneath that smile of his lies a darkness—one you cannot begin to understand.

D E M O

[blood-teeth]

who do you fight for? ’ for Ophelia or Cain?

i'm going to do my gremlin girl ophelia <3

In the End Times, you'll learn that it's always been her.

Her dancing through time, plucking slices apart, manipulating behind the scenes. Her in the ship, her in the water, her and the blood.

It's been her anywhere you've existed, anywhere you've ever been. So it's really no surprise when you find her leaned up against Acheilus's control panel, those hemlock eyes scanning you, watching, waiting. You recall the moment your eyes had met hers, back on the beach all that time ago and come to the realization that she's always been cataloging you. Always watching, waiting to see what you'll do.

Nobody had ever looked at you the way that she does.

"Pilot," she greets, that secretive smile touching her face briefly, like a shadow. "Thought I'd find you here."

That's her little joke with you, one that she thinks is hilariously funny, worth repeating into infinitum. Where's the Pilot? Ah, have you checked the shark? It would be more annoying to you if it didn't hold any merit. But, as it stands...

What to say back? Something witty, something biting, so sharp it could cut. There's no use being nice here, friends don't belong under the waters. That, and, she's your only natural predator. The daughter of the Coalition, the daughter of a man you're not all too convinced isn't vying for your end.

"Ophelia," you say. You say this and your voice comes out soft, it comes out adoring, it comes out broken. You look at her and try to see a wound, you look at her and try to find everything you hate.

But you cannot.

Because you look at her and look at her hair in the light, red as blood under the neon blues, eyes sharp and dark, and you come to understand a truth you do not yet have the capacity to understand.

You let her take a step towards you, another, a third. She's so close that you can see the freckles that kiss along her collarbones, the flecks of gold around her pupils. Her breath is sweet, her tongue so wet when she runs it over her lips. You only realize that you had instinctually reached out to grab her by her hips when she gasps at your tightening grip. What are you doing? What are you doing?

Surprise parts her mouth and delight shapes it. "Oh," she says, mirth flickering in her eyes. "Ha. I didn't think-I couldn't have ever dreamed of this."

"Don't." Your voice cracks, blood rushing to your face. On the chessboard, you imagine a queen stanced triumphantly. You've lost. "Just, don't."

Her hands take your jaw, angle your face. Close, too close. You're burning. You're rotting staring at her mouth, waiting for the end. Desperation becomes you and you are not above pleading. "All of this," she murmurs, eyes still documenting every inch of you. "And, I still can't tell who you'll fight for, at the end of it all."

When her lips press against yours, you think of the flames.

[ftmtbpod]

PODCAST INTRODUCTION: From This Mouth That Bleeds

a retro-mecha cyberpunk sapphic audio drama (coming soon!)

Blurb

"Humanity took to the stars and left us for dead." Lorelei knows the end. Has seen it flicker along the edges of her home, catch fire to everything she's ever known. Has felt it gnaw its way into her bones, watching as the last safety ship glinted starlight in the sky. Lorelei knows the end. And she knows everything after, too. Lieutenant Lorelei Reeves is a first-generation, three-star pilot for the United Forces of the Red Remembrance. She is the only pilot capable enough to helm the UFRR's greatest mystery; Acheilus, an antiquated shark mecha from before The End. It is a time of peace; the bitterness from the Coalition of The Last Frontier's abandonment has long since diluted away in favor of lucrative trade deals from space - goods that could only benefit the UFRR's longevity underseas. It is a good deal, kind, even. Generous. But Lorelei cannot help but taste the tang of deceit between her teeth. The sickly stick of rot amplifies after she spots another shark mecha circling the edges of UFRR's water space. Sleek black and glinting metal - a convincing imitation of the UFRR's mechanics. The problem with this: Lorelei captains the only shark in the entire fleet.

Themes

loss, grief, being homesick for a home that no longer exists, loud-mouthed pilots, and trauma-stricken lesbians.

Snippet

My hands shake. Admiral Thetis was right about one other thing, too.  I had been gone for a long time; I'd been gone for months. Months of an endless blue that pervaded my eyes, an infinitum of mouthless words, and moments to think and move as I pleased. I'd rediscovered creatures that hadn’t been seen in years, listened as whales called through, and laughed when other sharks circled Acheilus, trying to communicate. It might have been the closest thing to peace that I've ever felt.  Peace does not exist in the lion’s den— a name I've mocked HQ with —  instead, the oppressive nature of fear lies thick along the walls of the hull. Fear is every step you take, it is every beating heart, every conspired whisper. It exists within the hollows of my cells, in every ill-intended look cast my way. I am fear and they make me believe it. 

Taglist: let me know if you want to be added <3

Other socials

Twitter | Playlist | Buy me a coffee <3

[blood-teeth]

like i can't draw jack shit but:

the Traveler and Elena

[ftmtbpod]

snippet

taglist: let me know if you want to be added!

@houndmouthed

[ftmtbpod]

From This Mouth That Bleeds snippet

something little again but oh no i'm obsessed with Colonel Thetis hnnng

taglist

@houndmouthed @fearofahumanplanet

[blood-teeth]

howdy!

i know it's march 8th already (i'm sick, i'm ill, i'm disturbed) and maybe some of you are wondering where the hell FTMTB is which i get! please understand that it's my midterms right now and i'm also trying to work on a secret project that should have been done at the end of last month and, like, wasn't.

anyway!! i'm working hard on it but I wanted to share a snippet with you!! please feel free to send any questions my way if you have them <3

"It had been dark, overwhelmingly so, when you decided you couldn’t take any more of the rancorous silence from four hundred and ninety-nine ghosts sleeping above you in beds that have never been unmade and carpets that have never been stepped on. Each hollow crack of the building settling into the forever-shifting sand proved to shock your blood to cancerous ice. You had rendered yourself insane by imagining the voices of old childhood recruits whispering next to your bed as they stood over you in sleep. Did they sneer at you? Did their teeth flash bright and loud in the darkness where you could not see? How envious are they of the breath that fills your lungs? One night — so sure that you would have bet Acheilus —  you heard a low moan whimper your name, a phantom that glitched in and out of your periphery. You wasted no time packing a few pairs of stiffened denim jeans left over from Pre-End, your standard issue maroon-hued bomber jacket — laden with thick patches — three uniforms, a busted journal, and stole away to Corridor E of Alpha’s spiderwebbed dome. 

In some small part of your brain, you admit to only yourself that you're being ridiculous — weak — those were your dead brothers and sisters you had slept amongst and you should be fervent to honor their memory with your presence and duty. Every step you take is five hundred steps. Every breath you take is five hundred exhales of your brothers and sisters. Every kill is five hundred for the Red Remembrance’s safety and prosperity. 

But, in the tight confines of your darkened, warmed closet, the breaths that fan across your lips feel like your own. Here, your heartbeat does not signify four hundred and ninety-nine agonized and memorialized souls, it’s just your soft pump of tissue and blood. Yours alone."

[blood-teeth]

acutely coming to the realization that I may be the only unhinged person here so here are my notes for both FTMTB and TMITAWH

wip game: reblog this with the most unhinged pictures you have of your wip in your notes app - I'm trying to see something