#fuck if it isn't even more obvious now that I left that my parents are fucking poisonous to live with

[bloodynereid]

Hello!! I am absolutely loving your R&R fic so far!! If you’re taking requests for more Jordan fics could you do one with a genderfluid reader who is so happy to meet another genderqueer character and they’re just so happy together and supportive? Maybe a cute coming out scene? I completely understand if that’s not something you’re comfortable writing though!! Have a nice day <33

Time and Space

pairing: jordan li x reader (sort of platonic)

tw: nothing really? slight mentions of homophobia, mentions of death, swearing - that's it i think

description: it's your first day at campus and something unexpected happens when you're trying to sort out your schedule.

a/n: ok so i'm not genderqueer myself (even if i do have my own gender things going on atm) so i genuinely hope this is written ok and respectfully. pls lmk if it isn't and i will change anything that needs to be changed. this is also more of a drabble than a one-shot but i hope you enjoy <333

You started picking your way through all the other freshmen that were joining God U. Your suitcase hit different little bumps in the path but you kept trying to make your way to your dorm. Your powers would be incredibly helpful right now but you really didn’t want to accidentally kill someone with how busy everything was.

Supposedly you hadn’t gotten a roommate this year since your application was accepted a little later than usual, a shiver travelled through your spine as you remembered that kid had to die just for you to have a place at this school.

Shaking off the remaining anxiety you finally got to the door that was meant to open your dorm. Clutching your hand on the handle and pushing, your room was opened up to you. It was huge. It probably wouldn’t have been as huge if there was another person living with you but holy shit.

You started going through the motions of unpacking your things and changing into much more comfortable clothes. The 4-hour flight had left your clothes itchy and slightly sticky. Smoothing down the leather of your trench coat, you walked back into the fray of students. 

You heard a chime from your phone and pulling it out you realized it was your schedule. You hadn’t really decided between Crime Fighting and Performing Arts but your powers dictated that the first one was probably the better option. You had the ability to distort or rather bend space, which wouldn’t really do much if you were doing performing arts. Plus you had the worst stage fright. A little note at the end read that you should go check in with Professor Brink’s TA as soon as possible so you had all the books ready.

Taking a deep breath you put up your hands and a second later you were standing in front of the Crime Fighting school. Your face twisted into a smirk as some people ducked away from your sudden appearance before you closed your eyes again and transported. This time you appeared in the little entry room outside of Brink’s office. 

Sitting at the desk was the person you assumed was Professor Brink’s TA. They had short black hair and she was wearing a long sleeve shirt. They must not have realized you had arrived in the little space because she was still typing away at her computer.

“Uh hi?” You said, breaking the complete silence of the room. The person jumped and looked up at you with a frown.

“Sorry, didn’t see you there. Can I help you with something?”

“Oh right, yes. My schedule said I should come check with you about Professor Brink’s class.”

“Hmm let me see that. I’m Jordan by the way.”

“Y/N. Wait… you’re Jordan Li?” Your mouth dropped, this was the person who had literally made you confident enough to actually come out to your parents. They were like the coolest person ever.

“Yes…” Jordan said tentatively as they looked up at you.

“Sorry, I just had a minor freak out. Holy shit, you’re just- you are a fucking inspiration is all.” You stuttered out, the obvious star struck look on your face had Jordan slightly chuckling.

“I don’t get that a lot but thanks. Oh ok yes, Y/N L/N… oh what pronouns do you prefer today?” Jordan asked as a brilliant smile crossed their face.

“Uh just they/them, I think today? It’s subject to change though.” You said as you laughed slightly.

“Totally understand that, it’s fucking awesome isn’t it? Also your powers sound incredible. How much control do you have over them?” Jordan asked hurriedly as she stood up and motioned you to sit over at the couch.

“Enough, so I’m not exactly at an expert level but I’m slowly building up to it. Your powers are so fucking cool as well. The way you just have a million different powers is spectacular.”

“Aww thank you, most people don’t look past the whole gender thing so…”

“Honestly fuck them, it’s a huge part of us sure but it’s no different than being like any other human being.” You said as you stretched out your arms and smiled. “Oh shit I totally forgot to ask but what are your pronouns today?”

“Uh they/she but… subject to change.” Jordan said lightly, slightly mocking your words with a smile.

“Oh fuck you.”

You spent the next hour discussing everything and anything, finding people who actually accepted and had similar beliefs to you was hard in recent years. Especially with being a supe as well. Jordan also helped you figure out your schedule and got you some extra books that would help with classes. By the end of the conversation, you felt like you had gained your first real friend at school.

ahhh ok lmk ur thoughts <3 also the reader's powers are called spatial manipulation (this is a link to the superpower wiki page if anyone is interested in reading more about it). also me actually being active wow.

[juiceinpanties]

A Proper S'more

Pairing: Eddie Munson/afab!reader

Rating(s): E

Words: ~3k

Tags: smut!, humping, nipple play, semi-public sexual activity, drug use (just some pot), flirting through food, friends to lovers, established friendship

Summary: Your best friend Eddie Munson invites you camping, and while you're reluctant at first, you realize this might be just the chance you need to finally show him how you feel.

Notes: I was rage-inspired by the TERRIBLE take on s'mores they recently featured on Great British Bake-Off. Pretty sure this is the first time the British have inspired hot, sexy smut. Thanks as always to @tonybourdain for her invaluable help as beta, idea bouncer-off-ofer, and just all around wonderful and amazing human.

This is meant as a one-shot, but if y'all want I can add more.

Feedback is always welcome and appreciated and PLEASE reblog if you can! It's how posts spread around here; likes are appreciated, but they do nothing to boost interaction. :)

part 1 | part 2

In case you wanna read on Ao3 instead

“Camping?” You blink at him, confused. “Eddie, you hate camping.”

He scowls and kicks at the ground. “Yeah, I do, but Henderson and his friends wanna go, but their parents want some older kids to go to make sure they don’t set the woods on fire or something.”

You lift a brow, struggling not to grin. “And they nominated you?”

He smirks a little. “Dustin’s mom loves me.”

“Uh huh, I bet.” He's weirdly popular with moms, even your own. You'd think the whole metalhead thing would be a turn off, but they seem to like it.

It works for you, so maybe you shouldn't be that surprised.

“Look, Nancy and Steve are going, but I don’t wanna third wheel it. They’ll be makin’ goo goo eyes at each other all night.” He rolls his own eyes, then gives you puppy face. “Pllleaaase? I’ll be your best friend!”

“You’re already my best friend, doofus.” You sigh. “But fine. I’ll go. Anything to get out of a weekend with my parents’ passive-aggressive bullshit.”

“Fuck yeah!” He lifts your hand so he can high five you (you’re known to leave him hanging) and spends a few seconds jumping around before he comes back to you. “Okay, so, Saturday morning we’re meeting at the lake and then hiking to the campsite. It’s not too far, but far enough to feel like the wilderness. Should I pick you up?”

“Sure,” you say, amused by his excitement. “Anything special I should bring? Besides the obvious.”

“Junk food.”

“You don’t have that covered?”

He shrugs. “I’ll bring some stuff, but I like the way your mind works, snack-wise. That snack mix you brought at Christmas? Blew my fucking mind.”

“My aunt makes that, so I won’t be bringing it, but I’ll come with something good. Now we both have class, and you can’t cut again. I’ll see you after for Hellfire.” You say your goodbyes and head to class.

Maybe camping with Eddie Munson and a band of young miscreants isn't a great idea. The kids you're not worried about, but Eddie? Alone in the dark woods with Eddie? Okay, not alone, but...

What if Nancy and Steve decide to share a tent? Will you be sharing with Eddie? Maybe it's a sign: this is the time to finally make your move. You can roll over in your little shared tent and kiss him and slide your hand down his shorts and—okay, whoa, you're at school. Save thoughts like that for tonight, in bed, by yourself.

Today, math class. Saturday, possibly finally making a move on your best friend.

Eddie picks you up bright and early Saturday morning, and he's more or less dressed for hiking: that is, boots instead of his usual Reeboks, and his long hair is pulled back with one of his many bandanas. He also left his bigger rings at home, which makes him look almost naked.

"Hey!" he says. "Lookin' good, Camper Bob!"

You roll your eyes. "Such a dweeb," you say, but with affection. You're wearing a t shirt and jean shorts, plus hiking boots and a jean jacket. It'll be much cooler tonight, but for now it's warm, and hiking in jeans is always a mistake.

He helps you stow your pack in the back, then you hop in and you're off.

Everyone's already at the lake when you get there, and it's chaos. How can so few people make so much noise?! You give Eddie a Look, and he wades in.

"Alright, alright! Pay attention! Boy Scout Steve is leading this dog and pony show, so listen to him and don't be little shits! We're here to enjoy nature, and you can't do that if you can't keep the volume below a dull roar. So shut the fuck up for 5 minutes and look around!"

You muffle a giggle behind your hand and share a grin with Nancy. Steve is rolling his eyes and grimacing, but he loves this shit. He takes his place at the front of the group and gets everyone organized for the hike. Finally, after what feels like forever, you set off into the woods.

You hike until mid-afternoon, and by the time you stop everyone's tired and cranky. Steve gets people setting up tents and digging pits for fires while you, Eddie, and Nancy organize the food. There are enough hot dogs to feed an army, plenty of chips, baked beans (gross), and...

"Fuck yeah, s'mores!" Eddie says.

"Thought you'd like that," you say. You add another bag of marshmallows to the pile and his grin widens.

"You know, that'll go perfectly with this," he says and pulls a baggie from his jacket pocket.

Nancy's eyes widen a little. "We can't give that to the kids!"

Eddie makes a face. "I don't give kids drugs, Nance. It's for us! The more-or-less grownups."

"I'm in," you say with a shrug. "I need it after today."

"Knew I could count on you, pumpkin patch."

The two of you have this old running joke in your friendship: you are firm in your belief that he's actually a human Muppet, and nickname him accordingly. As a sort of payback (he has a rep to maintain, and "human Muppet" is not it) he comes up with the weirdest, most random shit he can think of to call you. This is a new one.

"What does that mean?" you say.

He shrugs and stuffs the bag away. "I dunno. It's fall. Pumpkins. It made sense in my head!"

"Weird things make sense in your head, Grove."

"That's the truth," he says with an unbothered grin. "Lemme go help Steve with the fire."

It's dark. Everyone's fed. The kids are around the fire telling scary stories. Eddie gives you a subtle nod and the four of you wander off to sample his product.

"This is probably a terrible idea," Steve says as he puffs and coughs, then passes the joint to Nancy. "We're responsible for these kids!"

"They're 14, Steve, not 6," Nancy says. She takes a delicate puff before handing it to you.

"They seem pretty good at handling themselves," Eddie says. The night's turned chilly, especially away from the fire, and he has his arm thrown around you in easy camaraderie. He's gained a little weight recently; still skinny, but not a rail; and it looks good on him. Feels good too, you note as you lean into him.

He takes the joint from you and inhales deeply before handing it off to Steve. He nuzzles your hair. It smells like wood smoke and leaves and under that, your usual shampoo. He tries to keep his eyes off your bare legs, but it's a struggle. "Not so bad, huh? Camping?"

You look up at him with a little smile. "I could learn to like it. Maybe."

You continue passing the joint around until it's nearly gone. Eddie carefully puts it out and adds it to the Sucrets tin he carries, then you head back toward the group. He grabs your hand and pulls you close. "C'mon, it's s'mores time," he says.

"Oh god I could murder a s'more!"

"Did someone say s'mores?" Dustin says.

"Grab sticks," Steve tells them. "It's time for marshmallows!"

He tosses the bags to Nancy and they all scatter to find roasting sticks. Soon you're back, stick in hand, eager for a roasted marshmallow-and-chocolate treat.

Nancy hands you a couple of marshmallows and you drop down onto a rock next to Eddie. "Burnt or bust," you tell him, and thrust your marshmallow-laden stick into the fire.

He laughs and does the same. Your marshmallows catch fire at the same time and you quickly pull yours out to blow out the flame. It's black and brown on the outside, oozy on the inside, and when you smash it between the chocolate and graham cracker, it goes everywhere.

"Oop!" You hastily lick trailing bits of marshmallow off your fingers and down your wrist, and when you look up Eddie's eyeing you, his own stick forgotten in his hand. "What?" you say.

"Nothing." He dips his head back to assembling his s'more. "Nope, nothing at all."

You lift a brow. That was...interesting. You aren't blind: you know Eddie checks you out from time to time. Or at least you hope so, but sometimes you think it's just wishful thinking. That clearly wasn't. Apparently sucking sticky sweet mess off your fingers is the way to his heart. Or at least his boner.

You squish your s'more together and take a bite, and of course chocolate smears on your lips and all over your fingers. You make a little noise of protest and start to suck your fingers clean again, and when you look over Eddie once again can't take his eyes off of you.

"Munson," you say with a little grin. "Are you going to stare or help?"

"Help?" he says, his voice breaking a little. "Help with what?"

"The mess I'm making. And look!" You point at his little marshmallow sandwich. Chocolate is dripping onto the back of his hand. "Silly," you say. You lean in and carefully lick the chocolate off his skin.

He freezes. You licked him. With your tongue. Now you're sucking more chocolate and marshmallow of your hands and fingers, all while looking right at him. Marshmallow. Long, melted strings of white that ooze just like—

No! Nope. No. He is NOT going to think of you and come in the same sentence. Your little pink tongue darting out over your full pink lips, licking the white off with a happy noise that he feels right in the cock.

He carefully sets his own uneaten s'more aside and grabs you. "C'mere," he says, voice rough.

"Eddie—!"

He pulls you into the woods, away from the noise of the kids and the heat of the fire, and pushes you against a tree. You stare up at him, wide-eyed, and he looks down with a frown of concentration between his brows.

"You're kinda evil," he says.

"What the hell are you doing?" you breathe. Your heart is pounding, your cheeks flushed, and you still have marshmallow and chocolate on your fingers.

As though reading your mind, he grabs one of your hands and carefully sucks a finger into his mouth. He swirls his tongue around it, licking and sucking every bit of sweet off your skin, and you feel your knees go weak. You let out a soft moan and lean against the tree to support you.

He does the same thing to each finger and even your thumb, and by the time he's through you're panting and squirming. He rubs his thumb across your lower lip, tugging it a bit, and smiles at you. "Maybe I should get you back to camp," he murmurs. "You look a little...out of it."

"Oh shut up," you breathe. You grab his shirt and pull him in for a kiss.

His hand slips around to the small of your back while the other grips your bare thigh below your shorts. Your arms go around his neck and you're biting and sucking his full, gorgeous lips. "Eddie," you breathe. "Is this why you brought me camping?"

"What, to make out in the woods?" He shrugs a little. "No, but it's a really nice bonus."

You laugh as he kisses you again, his tongue slipping into your mouth and swirling against yours. He presses his hips into you and you slide your knee up against his thighs.

"Mmmm what's that?" you whisper. "A roasting stick in your pocket?"

"Not exactly," he says. He rocks against you just right, so that the bulge of his erection rubs you through all your layers of clothing. You bite down on your lip to muffle a whimper and he kisses you again, harder. "Goddamn I've wanted you forever, baby. To touch you and taste you and make you moan my name."

He rubs his thumb over your lip again. You're looking up at him with big, dazed eyes, pupils blown and mouth soft and swollen. He slowly reaches down to unzip your shorts. "You can stop me," he says.

You shake your head. "Don't stop, Eddie," you breathe. "I've wanted you too. I never—I was afraid to say anything, but—please?"

He kisses you hard and shoves your shorts down to your ankles. You kick them away as he drops to his knees and kisses your thighs. He bites. Sucks. You bury both hands in his hair and try to keep breathing.

He kisses his way up your body, completely ignoring your panties, and pushes your shirt up. He tugs the cups of your bra down and spends ages licking and sucking your nipples. He switches back and forth between them until they're both swollen and aching and you're wiggling against the tree.

"Eddie, please!"

"Please what, princess?" he murmurs, lashing his tongue back and forth across your nipple while he squeezes your tits with both hands. "Tell me what you want."

"My pussy! Please!" you gasp. "I'm so wet! I need you!"

"Fuck!" he rasps. He kisses your tummy. "Whatever you need, baby." He grips your hips and kisses just above your panties. Your head falls back on a quiet moan, but the tree's closer than you thought.

"Ow!" you say, sharply.

"Babe?" He jumps to his feet, but it's too fast. He reaches out to grab you, but you're a little dizzy from smacking your head, and you both end up tumbling to the forest floor.

You lie there a moment sprawled out on top of him, shorts off, tits out, and then you start to giggle. He barks out a laugh and soon you're both laughing so hard you can barely breathe. You move a little, your legs falling to either side of his hips so that you're straddling him, and you're both still laughing and gasping.

You rock your hips, and the next breath he sucks in is entirely different. "Babe—"

"Shhh. I can feel you, Eddie. Mmmmm you're so hard for me!"

He gets over his surprise quickly and grabs your hips again, this time to guide you as you move. "Yeah, princess. All for you. I swear to god every erection I've had for the last two years has been for you." He laughs. "And there've been a lot of 'em."

"Mmmm bad boy," you breathe. You rest your hands on his chest and grind against his erection. The rough material of his jeans makes your panties slip and slide along your dripping slit just right.

"Fuck, baby, that feels so fucking good! Don't stop!"

You lean down to kiss him, changing the angle just right, and he rubs his hands over your ass. You love the feel of his guitar callouses, how soft his palms are. "Eddie!" you gasp against his mouth. "God, Eddie, I'm so wet!"

He groans. "For me, princess? Is that all for me?"

"Uh huh, every drop! Fuck, I need—!" You rock faster, grind against him harder. You can't believe you're just out in the woods humping Eddie Munson's erection through his jeans. You feel wanton and incredible and you know you're close.

"Take what you need, angel," he breathes. "Anything you need. You gonna come, baby?"

"Uh huh!" you whimper. "Oh god Eddie oh fuck!"

"Good girl, fuck, that's so hot, you're so fuckin' hot! Take it, baby, come for me!" he mumbles in your ear, his breath hot and his words slurred by his own need for you.

"Eddie!!" you cry, a little louder than you intended, and the orgasm takes you. He holds you down against him while he bucks his hips to drive you higher and higher.

"Good girl," he says, almost a moan. "Good girl!"

You finally start to come down from it and fall against his chest. He kisses your temple, runs his hands through your hair. You lift your head to give him a long, easy kiss. "Your turn," you murmur.

"Fuck!" he gasps, and you're just starting to work your way down when you hear a familiar voice echoing through the woods.

Calling your name. Then, "Eddie!"

Your eyes widen. "Oh fuck!" You scramble to your feet and cast around for your shorts. Your panties are soaked and sticking to you, but there's not much you can do about it.

Eddie jumps up as the voice gets closer and helps you fix your bra and top, tug your shorts on and zip them up. You're barely decent when the flashlights bob into view and Steve and Dustin appear in the little clearing.

"Shit, there you are," Steve says. "We thought you got lost."

"Nope!" you say. You run both hands through your mussed hair. "No, just ate a bit too much. Needed some fresh air away from the fire."

"Dude!" Dustin says. He has his light trained on Eddie's crotch. Luckily his erection has gone down, but... "Did you piss yourself?!" he says around barely-contained laughter.

"What?!" He glances down and sees the big wet spot you left on his jeans. You feel your face catch fire.

"You did! You pissed yourself! I gotta tell everybody!"

"I didn't piss myself, Henderson!" Eddie says. "I spilled my flask."

Dustin shines the light in Eddie's face, and he winces away from it. "You brought alcohol and drugs on a camping trip with minors? Edward Munson!"

"How did you know about the drugs?!" Eddie says.

Dustin shrugs. "I've got a nose, dude."

"Okay, okay," Steve says. "Let's get back. You feeling better?" he says to you.

You glance at Eddie. "Much!" you say. "Eddie?"

"Feelin' great," he mumbles. "Hate that I spilled my flask."

Dustin just rolls his eyes and turns back toward camp. You fall in next to him while Steve and Eddie bring up the rear.

Steve nudges him. "You really spill your flask?" he mutters.

"Left my flask at home," Eddie says. "But I had to think of somethin'!"

"Uh huh." Steve's trying not to laugh. "That you or her?"

Eddie doesn't say anything, just looks away with a shrug. "I don't kiss and tell, man. But." He frowns and carefully adjusts himself. "It ain't me."

Steve muffles a bark of laughter in the crook of his elbow. "Okay then. Nancy owes me ten bucks."

"What?!"

"We had a bet that you two would hook up on this trip. I said yeah, she said no. I knew I'd win."

"Jesus," Eddie says, but he's struggling not to grin. He got the girl! For once in his life. You glance back at him with a soft, pretty smile, and his grin breaks through.

Yeah, he thinks he could probably get used to camping too.

[farklelucas]

okay so. now that ive taken some time to breathe, compose myself, and gather my thoughts, lemme lay out why the teen wolf movie was a hot holy mess (besides, you know, the obvious) as a teen wolf enthusiast and expert.

a lot of the characters were really little more than set dressing. to be specific, i think liam could have been replaced by a mailbox with a hat and the movie would have been the same (and this is coming from a major liam fan). the same can be said for mason, malia, melissa, peter, and honestly even the sheriff (which i hate bc god he was such a core of the show). i think parrish was only useful in one specific instance and even that isn't enough to warrant him being in the film. the characters i loved felt like cardboard cutouts and that wasnt fair to me, to the characters, or to the actors. i would have rather they not been there at all tbh. like just leave liam out of this if youre gonna do him like that fr

a lot of the plot points felt... disjointed and weird. saraid said it felt like three different movies in one and i have to agree. derek and eli felt like its own thing, then scott and allison, and then everything else (whatever the hell parrish and malia had going on, the lydia and jackson buddy cop comedy, liam in... japan with a ramen shop i think? and some random girlfriend that happened to be a kitsune) kind of fell to the wayside in between.

this movie was truly so flat without kira. it was hard to make a nogitsune movie without stiles, but it was almost impossible to make without her. hikari unfortunately ended up just feeling like a woman they randomly shoved into all the plot points kira was supposed to be in. because she didnt have a character besides liams girlfriend (and because liam was barely a character himself), she just couldn't compare and so kiras lack of presence was really felt. she left a huge hole in the narrative. they didnt even mention her and you knew what was missing. if you had cut khylin and dylan sprayberrys checks entirely, im sure they would have had enough to pay her as much as the rest of her white coworkers :) but that's just my opinion xxx

this was supposed to be for fans of the original series, but really just felt like jeff davis's weird rare pair fanfiction. instead of focusing on the dynamics that already existed - melissa and the sheriff, malia and peter, scott and liam, derek and. anyone really - he ended up delving into all these new dynamics with only two hours to develop them. malia and parrish (which. i really had to mentally run through the show to see if those two had interacted before and i dont think they have), liam and hikari, and derek and eli. all of which had a shot at being interesting but because there were so many different plots going on, it all just felt. awkward and confusing.

that being said, im gonna move onto derek and eli generally. i like eli! i do. i thought he was funny, i thought the actor was super charming (although the timeline made no sense because if he was born fifteen years ago And allison died fifteen years ago he would be braedens and. hate to say it folks. thats not braedens baby. make him mixed jeff davis you fucking coward). really, i liked him. ... but not at the expense of dereks character. the derek i knew was an asshole. he was mean, he was sarcastic, he was a bastard (honorifically). its not to say that people cant change, but... the derek i saw in the movie was a complete 180 from the derek we last saw in the series. honestly, the derek i saw in the series probably wouldn't have made a good parent - we saw how he was with erica, isaac, and boyd. even with scott. derek was kind of a dick. i dont even think he would have wanted kids - i think he would raise them out of duty, and i think he would if a partner wanted him to. but i dont think kids were ever in his life plan. and i think that could have been super interesting to see with him and eli. i think making him a parent could have been really interesting and it just. crumbled.

i know i mentioned the timeline in that last bit but. the timeline. it hurts my head. when was eli born. what year is it. how long has it been since scott has been in beacon hills. im so confused.

lets talk about adrian harris. shall we. i have made a list of people who i think would have been a better villain reveal are you ready: allison, peter, theo, chris argent, kate argent (resurrected), matt daehler (resurrected), victoria argent (resurrected), kira herself, danny mahealani, rafe mccall, isaac's shit dad, coach, greenberg, me with a baseball bat filled with rusty nails, jeff davis in a wig. the list goes on. you could not have picked a more random and less memorable character to reveal as your villain. i almost felt like i was being mocked. "haha! you didnt expect it to be this guy? the chemistry teacher who also died fifteen years ago? who had almost nothing to do with the plot until season 3? stupid! idiot!" i have never been so mad in my life

speaking of villain. did they forget what a nogitsune is. it needs a host. its not some guy they can stab to death. its a concept, a feeling, a parasite. its a manifestation of mental illness. but no sorry excuse me i must be wrong bc now its also a werewolf??????? im sorry. am i the crazy one. give me void allison! give me allison as the host and shes being taken over and she has those bags under her eyes and that creepy void stare and grin! give me crystal reed emmy noms! while we're on the subject, heres some more questions about the nogitsune include: why was it in a jar? why was it with LIAM of all people (who didnt even know what that was)? why did its powers completely change? HOW was it a werewolf????????? i cant stop thinking about it.

i said it once and ill say it again: jackson fucking carried this movie. he was giving all season one jackson, he was bringing comic relief, he was even bringing up ethan when no one else would! king! he carried. but he shouldn't have had to. dont get me wrong, i think crystal reed ate and left no crumbs. this was allisons movie and it should have been. but when the other two standout characters imo were jackson (who arguably did nothing) and coach (who did even less)... you simply didnt use your characters well. i think i would put deaton up there and even chris, but... scott and lydia? this should have been their movie. but scott spent nearly the whole movie ignoring his friends, and lydia was reduced to 'woman whose plot was about a man,' again. it was horrible. lydia outgrew that song and dance by season two. and scott? hasnt been to beacon hills in twelve years? hasnt seen his mom or his friends? not the scott mccall i know.

this is not about shipping discourse this post will never be about shipping discourse so i say this as a completely objective party. that being said. st/dia was so strangely shoved in there at the end. how did harris even know about lydia leaving stiles. how did he know about her dream. how did it add to the plot. like yes the nogitsune feeds of chaos and strife but i think lydia was getting enough of that watching her friends get murdered. it felt like a weird way to explain why dob wasnt there and it simply didnt work. i would have rather they not said anything about stiles at all.

anyway, this is skipping over a lot of other little things that i thought were really bad (sexualizing malia who literally had the mentality of an eight year old for most of her life AGAIN, why was mason a fucking cop, peters lack of interaction with the hale family which is what made him interesting in the first place, the absolute insanity of allison coming back to life and just being absolutely okay even though shes been dead for fifteen years, died at the hands of her friend, and almost everyone she knew including stiles, isaac, and kira are all just gone now), but boy oh boy. for a while it was funny bad. like "oh this is bad but i can still enjoy this for what it is" bad. but those last ten minutes. what is actually absolutely wrong with jeff davis. there are very few times ive felt this betrayed by tv shows i held this close to my heart, but im there. im heartbroken. i wont go on about it here, bc honestly, it would need its own post considering how much i have to say. but if the rest of the movie was bad? that was shit was traumatizing.

anyway. so sorry this post is this long, and so sorry i couldnt come back with a positive review. this show died long ago; i think we should have just let it rest - nobody asked for a reunion, and now i can see that was with good reason. so the next time jeff davis opens up an email with a header titled 'sequel idea' and he ccs tyler posey, i think we should all just agree to ler arden cho beat him to death in a dennys parking lot instead.

[beanghostprincess]

Trying not to project trans parents leaving in fear of rejection and wanting to protect their family from ridicule and shame but to be reunited with trans child who left the village for the same reason years later on to yasopp and Usopp

Imma just give it to you so you can think about it instead

What if I start crying? What then?

This is such a genius thought, honestly. Thinking about Banchina never telling Usopp about his dad being trans but always saying that if he ever wanted to be more or different than what people viewed him as, that it's perfectly fine (Using this with transmasc Usopp because it's my fav headcanon for him). He never got to tell his mom about him being a boy, but she knew. Looking back at his past now, it was obvious she already knew. After her death, he doesn't see himself capable of anything for a while. The whole village helps him out (people think he's a her. Perhaps just a tomboy, after all. Every time he says he's a boy people think it's just a prank or that he's lying) but he can't be himself completely. The only one who knows about this and believes him is Kaya. Beautiful, wonderful Kaya. She's the only one who supports him. She even gives him clothes because he can't just keep using his dad's old things, and she's the only one with enough money to buy them. Then, the strawhats appear in his life, and he doesn't tell them about... You know... Being a ""girl"" because apparently he passes enough for them to think he's a boy. That, and also that he introduced himself as a boy, and he isn't sure if Luffy is fucking stupid or extremely open-minded or maybe he doesn't care. Either way, he feels like himself with them and sees this as an opportunity to leave the village right away and finally transition without anybody knowing about his past self.

Yasopp sees his wanted poster, then. And he knows that used to be his little girl, and turns out that he was actually his boy. He couldn't be prouder, but there's so much guilt inside of him for not being there for Usopp when he needed it the most... Especially when it turns out he left for no reason at all besides fear. He feels like a coward. That's mainly why he feels so embarrassed to meet Usopp again.

But then they meet again. When Luffy manages to be the king of the pirates and all of them have their own names engraved in history. Yasopp meets his son. And God, he looks so handsome. They even look alike! And he's extremely embarrassed to say anything, and Usopp won't stop crying fearing he won't accept him, and they just end up hugging. Yasopp tells him he couldn't be prouder of his son becoming a better man than he'll ever be. He keeps apologizing over and over again, and Usopp tells him that he understands. That if somebody understands something about running away, it's him. But they're here now and they couldn't be happier.

Also, quick Sanuso mention because it's physically impossible for me not to do it: Usopp introduces his father to Sanji (trans girl, by the way) and,,, Well. She doesn't really like Yasopp for leaving Usopp. She's just like a fucking chihuahua when she meets Yasopp. If you leave her alone with Yasopp she'll probably end up biting his head off. But!!! But Yasopp is amazed because she's genuinely gorgeous and he's like "kiddo, are you sure this is your girlfriend? You're lying to me aren't you-" (he's half joking, don't worry) and it's- It's just so chaotic.

[camillecrellin]

Plz can you write the imagine with shiv x y/n thank you make it sad or angst one

Break up — Shiv Roy

A/N: Once again sorry this took soo long.

Word Count: 646

Warnings: agnst, break up, divorce!Shiv and Tom, closeted!Shiv, allusion to being disowned, fem!reader

Siobhan Roy had been hurt far too many times in her life. Her parents divorce, her father’s false promises, her divorce from Tom, and now you.

You had met Shiv at a party that Roman and Tabitha threw. Being a friend of Naomi and Tabitha from the New York private school circuit, you were invited.

You and Shiv hit it off well. On the brink of a divorce from Tom, Shiv thought it’d be no harm to spend one night with you. However that one night turned into 8 months, and you became Shiv’s secret.

Shiv didn’t want to come out. It was for the sake of her dad and his company. That’s what she said but it was obvious to everyone that knew Shiv that you too were together. You looked more like a couple than her and Tom ever did.

However no good thing could last and with Shiv’s insistence need to stay in the closet became your growing frustration that you weren’t allowed to be near your girlfriend because she would now physically tense up when you even slightly touched her in public.

Coming home from your birthday party, you expect to just relax and enjoy the evening instead you were met with Shiv muttering under her breath, “God, I hate your friends."

"What?"

"I said I hate your friends." Shiv reiterated, her voice louder this time.

Lowly laughing, you barely glanced at Shiv. Your friends meant more than the Roy's did. They weren't pawns, they were family. More than your own one. "My friends are my family, you don't know what's it's like to-"

"Come on, Y/N, stop with the fucking lectures." Shiv cut you off as she sat down on the sofa. "You know, we're all born into shit families, we deal with it."

Walking to look Shiv in the eyes, you scoffed, "What is your problem?"

"My problem is I haven't had a day without your self-pitty for the past 2 weeks."

You rolled your eyes. "God you're such an asshole. Why are you fucking doing this? On my fucking birthday."

"On your fucking birthday?" Shiv laughed in shock, before scartically adding, "Wow congarts for being born."

"Oh, I'm sorry all attention must revolve around you and your family 100% of the time, I forgot." You laughed, sitting down on the coffee table, not caring about Shiv's glares as you continued. "I don't know why I get so shocked when you pull shit like this. You're a grown woman in a creepy co-dependent relationship with your dad and your ex-husband."

Shiv getsured her hand out in disbelief as she stumbled over her words. "You have no idea what you're talking about and you wouldn't know because you left your parents to permanently live in New York."

"I had no choice!"

"Of course, you had a choice!"

"Says the closeted one because she has to proctect the company’s politics." You exclaimed. "That’s such bullshit! You're such bullshit!"

"They know, I know, they know." Shiv said, lowering her voice down from her shouting. "I'm just waiting out of respect for them to not decrease stock."

"Decrease stock?"

"Yes."

"Everything's business to you, isn't it?" You titled your head, and Shiv gave you an soft look for a brief second. "You know, I think we see the world differently."

"We do." Shiv agreed. "You think that I'm a horrible person because I'm not coming out on your terms."

"That's not true. I would never fucking out you." You respond, tears brewing in your eyes at her accusation. "You're just not listening to me."

"I'm listening to you, I always fucking listen to you." Shiv retorted.

"Just stop it!" You stood up in anger, shaking your head. "I can't- I don't have the patience to deal with you right now."

"Okay, let's break up." Shiv declared, no emotion in her voice.

"Sure." You nodded, wiping a tear from your face.

"Okay..."

[romanarose]

For the Longest Time: Chapter 5

William Miller x Fem!OC (Lorelei Giang)

Masterlist : Triple Frontier Masterlist :Playlist

Join my taglist!

Summary: At the funeral, Lorelei sees a face from her past and learned a little about Will. They start to find they have more in common than they thought.

Warnings and content: Death of an abusive parent although there isn't much on that right now. Will is compartmentalizing. Talk of past child abuse, divorce, dad leaving, colorism from a parent. Will is emotionally constipated.

****************

It was hot.

Lorelei was trying her best to be supportive but also mind her place. She wasn’t Will’s girlfriend. Mrs. Miller greeted her kindly and thanked her for coming, but se knew she was mostly a source for gossip. Alice, was Ben’s actually girlfriend and was allowed to mourn and be fawned over. Lorelei was there to be support. Will spent a few days largely away, and even headed out today, road separately. Jana asked if Lorelei would like to join her and Frankie to the services and memorial. This ended up being helpful.

Lorelei was about 4 months along and was showing, but certainly had gained weight and all her black dresses were too tight, not only for a funeral but for the muggy middle Florida weather in general. Jana was a size or so above Lorelei and brought over a few options for a more respectable and practical clothing for the weather.

The Millers lived on a farm just outside of the small town they lived in. Lorelei, Will and all the others all lived in a mid-sized town in the same county. The funeral was in the country, a gravesite a mile out from the baptist church and full of bugs that added to the uncomfortable air around them. Paul Miller was not well liked, but Jenna, Will and Benny were and the politics of a small town lead to a lot of obligations. It became clear this week that Jenna’s family was fairly prominent in the town, a “founding family” perse. Jenna and Paul’s marriage was a love match to be sure, many people wondering why a nic well-to-do girl was marrying into a poor farm boy, but Paul could turn on the charm. The marriage was a different story. Paul was an alcoholic and while Will was fairly tight lipped on exactly what happened, Lorelei knew there was abuse.

Will had urged her to sit in his seat during the funeral services, but afterwards Lorelei was attempting to get some fresh air from the crowds. It was clear the family was lage on both sides and very friendly, and Lorelei was growing tired of all the questions. Will had been protective, simply stating she was a friend and cutting anyone off who seemed to be prying. Lorelei was showing, but not obvious enough that it couldn’t just be passed off as a belly. Right now, Will was otherwise engaged in consoling his mother, so Lorelei was left to her own devices and took the chance to walk away. Lorelei wasn’t a big smoker, but she dabbled in stressful times and she was craving one bad. Or some red wine. God, that would be nice right now. 

She placed a hand on her belly. “You’re lucky I love you,Tũn.”

“And here I thought you just got fat.”

Tyler.

Lorelei turned around. “What the hell are you doing here?”

 Seeing Tyler for the first time in months was always a bit stark, but Tyler now stood in Will’s shadow, and the contrast was startling. Tyler was not that good look. Not unattractive, but he really is just some guy. This, compared to Will’s handsome face was almost embarrassing that Lorelei had settled for him, but the difference in treatment was the biggest black and white. Even before Tyler slapped her, which Lorelei let happen only once, Tyler was never good. He was a loser, frankly. Will had only ever treated her with respect, long before the pregnancy and even before their friendship. 

Will would have never suggested she was fat.

Tyler pointed to where her hand still rested on her stomach. “How long did it take you to fuck him, a week? I’d assume you did it that night, but Will’s knight in shining armour game wouldn’t allow for him to fuck you with a red mark on your face.”

“And just how was your face that night?” She snapped back. “Last I remember, you were in worse shape than me.”

“Everything okay here?” Santi’s voice drew her eyes to the side. He was walking towards her, arm around a flushed Laci who was holding a water bottle. She didn’t look well, and no doubt Santi was taking her to the car. The cars were parked in almost the opposite direction from her, however, so what was he doing here?

“Yeah.” She lied, turning to Tyler. “Tyler was just leaving.” 

Santi recognized the name, as did Laci by the way she turned to Santi. His arm drew her tighter to him, but he stayed put, his face settling darker. “I think that’s a good idea.”

“I’m not leaving.” Tyler objected. “I know the Millers better than Lora does.”

Lorelei scoffed. “You said yourself you didn’t like Will or Ben.”

“Paul Miller was my bus driver and Mrs. Miller was my sunday school teacher. Just because you spread your legs and got knocked up doesn’t make you part of their family.”

“Watch it” Santi warned.

Lorelei wanted to handle this on her own, but knew she couldn’t do what she had 4 months back. She wouldn’t get in a fight while pregnant.

Tyler turned to Santi. “And who the hell are you?” He looked at Laci. “Aren’t you Benny’s girlfriend?”

Laci didn’t even attempt to respond, her mouth sealed shut. No doubt the whole day had been overwhelming, sensory overload for the sensitive girl and likely put her non verbal.

Santi looked to Lorelei and shot his eyes to Laci, and Lorelei got the hint. She stepped over to them and placed an arm around the wobbly girl. He stepped up to Tyler. Santi was shorter than the rest of the guys, but was no less of a force to be reckoned with. She’d seen it in defense of Laci with the creep at the bar, and Lorelei had no doubt it would come out if Tyler said anything about Laci-

“You stay the fuck away from Lorelei, I don’t want to fucking see you at the Miller house, understood?”

Oh. He was defending her.

“I’ll ask you again. Who. The fuck. Are you?”

“I’m the person who's going to kick your ass if you don’t leave her alone.”

Tyler must have been in a fighting mood today. He drew back his hand and swung, but before Laci had time to do anything but gasp, Santiago had taken hold of his hand, turned around and flipped Tyler onto his back with a thud. Lorelei looked to the crowd, and it didn’t seem anyone had noticed. When she turned back to the scene before her, Santi had pulled Tyler up by his collar and shoved him away.

“Offer your condolences to Mrs. Miller, and then fucking leave. If I see you near Lorelei again, it won’t just be me you’re dealing with.”

Tyler scrambled away, and Santi quickly took Laci back in his arms. “Are you okay, baby?”

Laci’s eyes were heavily lidded, and didn’t respond.

Lorelei clocked the heat exhaustion right away. “She needs to get in cool air, now.”

Santi nods. “We were on our way to ask if you wanted to join us,” He bent down slightly, scooping Laci up under her knees and carrying her. Laci weakly signed something that Lorelei couldn’t quite make out. She knew a little sign language but mostly conversational and in a hospital context. “Don’t worry about it.” Santi whispered, then turned to Lorelei as he started walking. “C’mon. The heat isn’t good for pregnant people.”

Lorelei followed them to the car where Lorelei instructed him to put Laci in the back so she could tend to her. As Santi drove to the farm, Lorelei coaxed her to drink water. The house was unlocked, church members setting up food for the memorial service and soon Lorelei was in full nurse mode. Santi buzzed with nerves, asking about a hospital but after checking her temp and her vitals, Lorelei said it was just heat exhaustion, not heat stroke. Santi then helped her walk to Benny’s childhood bedroom to rest as he cared for her and kept her awake.

When Will and Benny came in, it was clear they were fighting. “You’re such a fucking child, Benny!”

“You’re the one that tried to leave me on the goddamn road!” Benny was clearly drunk, slurring his words at 2 in the afternoon.

They went back and forth until Santi shouted down the stairs that Laci was resting.

Will yelled back to shut the hell up; Benny stopped yelling, knowing how badly Laci’s nerves affect her. Will stormed away, and Lorelei followed. When she found him, he was sitting on a twin bed in a room that clearly used to belong to a teenage boy.

“Was this your room?”

Will didn’t look away from the Attack of the Clones poster. “Yeah.”

“Can I sit?”

He nodded. “Yeah.”

Lorelei waited a few moments before talking. Will clearly needed a breather. They sat in silence for a few minutes and Lorelei took in his room. It was a jock’s room, clearly, with Miami Heat memorabilia around, but also a little bit nerdy. There was a box set of the Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit and the Similarian, all looking well worn, and of course some Star Wars here and there. Will never showed that side of him. 

“I like the posters. Were you a little nerdy in high school?” She asked, breaking the ice.

Will huffed a short laugh. “Yeah, I guess. Nerdy enough anyway. That surprise you?”

“A little.”

“And why’s that?” It seemed a genuine question.

She hesitated an answer. “Well your… you.”

Finally, Will turned to her, brow furrowed in question. “What does that mean?”

“Well, you… you. You’re strong, you give off football player energy.” He had been in football, after all. She knew that from stalking him via Tyler’s year books.

He still looked ticked off, leftover energy from the fight with Benny. “You think I was a dumb jock?”

“A little.” She tried to defuse the tension with a joke. “I mean you did go into the military, so I’m assuming the athletic scholarship didn’t work out?” Immediately after saying it, Lorelei regretted it. She knew she had a tendency to be rude, to say the first thing that comes to mind, and most people deserved it.

Will didn’t, and he snapped. “You think the smartest person in the room at all times, don’t you?” When Lorelei didn’t respond, he continued. “You have that air about you, you know. Maybe that’s why you don’t make friends.”

That hurt, and now she was on the defense and stood up in preparation for a fight. “Maybe I’m not the smartest person in the room, but I don’t see a lot of competition.”

Will stood up, matching her energy. “You don’t even have the highest education out of us, you know that?”

She didn’t know that, actually.

Will continued. “Jana has a masters degree in social work. Could hav gotten her dctorate two but didn’t see a point. She chose to make shit pay to help people when she probably could have gotten some fancy well paying job. Laci has a bachelors in psych. I know every see’s her as helpless, and you and Alice think she’s a ditz”

“I don’t-”

“But she is plenty smart. And Frankie, Frankie doesn’t have a degree but he’s a fucking enginier, Lore. You know what kinda brains you gotta have to do that shit? He got a 98 on his ASVAP. And me? I got into med school. I could have been a doctor, Lorelei, so I’d appreciate it if you stopped talking down to me.” After a pause, Will averted his eyes and sat down on the bed, mumbling a sorry with his face in his hands.

Lorelei stood in front of him, taking in his words. He was right, she did have a stuck up attitude. Will didn’t deserve it. Neither did Benny, Frankie, Jana, Laci or even Santi. Santi had proven to her that he was a good man the last few days.

“You got into med school?”

Will nodded into his hands. “Yeah. Took online classes. I was a combat medic so was able to get a lot of credits counted that way, and took dual credit in high school. Was supposed to leave the army to go.”

She spoke softly. “What happened?” 

Removing his hands, Will flopped backwards on the bed as he spoke. “Same thing that always happens. Benny.”

Lorelei joined him, grunting a bit as she sat and laid back, black hair sprawling everywhere. “Go on.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Laci saw Will turn to her, staring before turning back to watch the ceiling fan. “Ben popped positive on a drug test. He was inlisted at the time, doing real well too…”

Oh shit. “What was he on?”

“Coke, just like every fucking person I’ve ever loved, it seems.” Will was shaking. 

Lorelei knew Frankie and to a lesser extent Jana had suffered from addiction to cocaine.

“So what happened?”

“Tom called me. He was a friend from when him, me, Jana, and Santi were stationed together… He had moved his way up a lot and was starting a special ops team.” Will took a deep breath. In through his nose, out his mouth. His shaking stilled. “He said he could make it go away if me and Ben agreed to join his team… so I did.”

Will’s love for his brother never failed to surprise her. “You’re a good man, Will.”

Will shrugged. “He’s my brother.”

“My siblings would never do that for me.”

Will turned to her, and she looked to him in turn. Their faces were close, as close as they had been the night they almost kissed before they fucked. “Would you do it for them?”

“In a heartbeat.” She whispered.

“That’s the sacrifice for older siblings to bear.” 

They turned back to the ceiling, laying there for a moment and feeling the cool air of the fan on their skin. “I was an accident.” This caused Will to turn to her briefly before turning back. “My parents were both second generation, living in Philly. They got married at 18 to avoid the scandal… in the 2000’s in a Vietnamese area, it would have been a hoopla. Well, didn’t do much to save face as they got divorced when I was 8, my dad walked out. I didn’t see him for ten years.”

“Jeez, Lore, I’m sorry.”

She continued. “Mom remarried, had a daughter, my sister Sophie. I was about 13 then, 15 when she had Colin. My mom and step dad treated me like I was an outsider. I was too interested in my family's culture back then… I was obsessed with old Hollywood. I was accused constantly of being too western. First time I wore red lipstick, my step dad called me a whore and rubbed it off with his palm… I went back upstairs and applied it again anyway.”

She could feel Will tense next to her. “I love being vietnamese. It’s just at the time… I wanted to be different, look different. I wanted to be an actress for a while, but my mom told me my skin was too dark” Lorelei chuckles sardonically. “I spent years of college trying to lighten my skin, make my eyes look less asian… My sister was the perfect Asian daughter. My step dad had much lighter skin, so she did too. She was docile, agreeable, quiet…  everything I wasn’t. There’s always a divide between us, even today… I think her and Collin think of me as the bad guy, the reason there were fights in our house… but I’d give my life for them in a heartbeat.” She laughed again. “It’s funny, I’d do almost anything for them except pick up the phone to talk.”

Will laughed along with her. He reached out his hand, thankful that she allowed him to hold it. “I’m sorry you were treated like that. You didn’t deserve it.”

“It’s nothing compared to what you went through.”

“How do you know what I went through?”

“You aren’t as hard to read as you think you are.” A pause. “Is that why you won’t take off your shirt?”

Another pause. “Is that why you don’t kiss?”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.”

*

Eventually, they returned to the memorial, a crowd of people having joined. Lorelei rubbed Will's arm encouragingly, and Will put on his best host face.

Laci had returned from her rest, Santi still fussing over her and insisting she stay sitting and drinking water. Frankie sat down by Lorelei as Jana messed with Santi across the room to a giggling Laci. 

“How’s Will?” He asked sincerely. 

She sighed. “He’s struggling. More than he’s letting on. Him and Ben got in a fight.”

Frankie laughed. “Yeah, that’s not unusual. He tell you what it was?”

“No.”

“It was so stupid.” Frankie shook his head, smiling. “Benny was trying to get Mrs. Miller to admit Paul was an asshole and she wasn’t happy with him.” Will stopped the truck and pushed Ben out and told him to walk home. Benny caught up and jumped on the truck bed and was stuck there the whole ride back, pouting.

Lorelei could picture it. “Their dad, he was… pretty bad, wasn’t he?”

Frankie grew solom. “Really bad. Will took the brunt of it though, always deflecting what Ben was supposed to get onto him.

Tears began to form, prickling at her eyes at the thought. 

“Excuse me, sorry.” She needed to step away, she couldn’t show vunerability like this. Frankie asked if she was okay, but she said she needed to use the bathroom.

Lorelei tucked herself away in a hall, away from prying eyes. He was so kind, he was so good… it pained her to know he had been hurt like that. She just wanted to hold little blonde Will, she just wanted to tell him that everything would be okay… she wanted to protect him and keep him safe.

“You alright there, young lady?”

Lorelei looked to see an old man shuffle in, but keeping a respectful distance. He looked kind but concerned. 

She sniffled, wiping away a tear. “Yes, thank you. Just a hard day.”

The old man nodded. He glanced only ever so slightly at her stomach, but quickly back up. She couldn’t blame him, especially when he never mentioned it. “You’re a friend of Will’s, aren’t you.”

Friend. “Yes sir. Just hear for support.”

He smiled. “He sure seems to have a lot of support, I’m glad to see. I’m Gideon.” He extended a withered hand to her.

Will’s maternal grandfather, “Oh! I’m Lorelei. You must be mrs. Miller’s grandfather. Im so sorry for your-”

He held up a hand, twinkle in his eye. “Paul was an asshole, my dear, I’m sure you know.”

Lorelei couldn’t help but chuckle. “I know. I met him once, and he did not make a good impression.”

Gideon laughed along with her. “I’m sure. Miss, if I may be so bold…”

“Please” He seemed kind; his presence was calming. A strong strength that Will possesed as well.

“I know you two are having a baby… Jenna told me.”

Lorelei began to worry; what would this old man think? A baby outside of marriage? Would he have an issue she was vietnamese? Hell, had he fought in Vietnam-

“And I’d just like to welcome you to out family.”

Oh. “Well... Will and I, we aren’t dating…” She attempted to clarify, but Gideon waved her off. “That doesn’t matter. You know Laci?” He pointed to the kitchen where Benny and Frankie had joined her, Santi and Jana. Will walked up at well, greeting Jana and Benny both with arms around their shoulders. “Laci like a granddaughter I never had. Her and Benny come over often, she always cooks, sweet girl she is.”

“She’s lovely.” Lorelei agreed. 

“They come around less now that Benny is with that McCarthy girl, but se la vi” he said, waving his hand dismissively. “Laci is family. Hell, they're all family.” Gideon looked back at Lorelei. “And so are you. You’re a part of this family. Now,” He gently nudged her toward the group. “Go enjoy before Alice finds you.”

Lorelei laughed, drying the last of her tears and thanking him. She walked up to Will, sliding between him and Benny. Will smiled down at her, pulling her a few steps aside. “Hey Lore, you okay?”

She nodded. “I met your grandpa. He’s really nice.”

Will smiled at that. “Pops is the best… We’ll talk to him more in a bit. I just… I wanted to ask you on Rosie’s birthday, but I forgot, and then this whole week…” Will shook his head. “Listen, the VA I volunteer at is having its annual charity fundraiser, and they let me choose the non-profit.” He smiled proudly. “I chose the women’s shelter Jana and Laci work for.”

Lorelei smiled up at him, heart swelling in the pride he obviously felt. Will did a lot for the VA, it makes sense they let him pick. “That’s great Will, congratulations.”

“Well, the thing is…” He rocked back on his heels a bit, a nervous energy in him that she wasn’t used to seeing. “It’s a ball. Fancy as shit and all that… Santi, Frankie and Ben are taking Laci, Jana and Alice… and I was hoping…” Deep breath in, deep breath out. “You’d like to go with me?”

She was a bit shocked to say the least. “When is it?”

“It’s two months from now.”

Her heart dropped a bit. “Oh… well… I’m going to be at almost 6 months by that point…”

His smile faltered, looking down at the floor. “Oh, yes, of course I bet you wouldn’t be very comfortable at that point-”

“No, I mean… I’ll be showing… more…”

He looked confused. “Yeah?”

“Well… do you really want a girl you knocked up? Don’t you have some pretty girl-”

Will’s eyes were wide with horror “I don’t want to bring anyone else, Lore. I want to bring you. You’re my best friend, you are a pretty girl. You’re pregnant, not knocked up. We are having a baby, and Lorelei…” Will sighed, a little wistfully, placing a careful hand on her stomach, his blue eyes connecting with hers. “I’m happy. I’m happy were having this baby and I love them, and you, more than I thought possible…” Will’s eyes shown with the emotion of his words. “You are both my family, and I love you.”

As Lorelei listened to him talk, she lost herself for a moment thinking he was professing something different, that the love in his words was romantic… then she remembered their position, she remembered that this was not a fairy tale. She had to be happy with what she had. A loving father of her child, and a so-far healthy baby on the way. It wasn’t a fairy tale, but everything was going to be okay. She was going to be a mom, they were going to break the cycle of hers and Will’s families, and unlike her and Will, this baby would have a father who loved them. 

“I’d love to go to the ball with you, Will.” She placed a hand on one cheek and kissed the other, making him blush. “But I might be wearing New Balance nursing shoes.”

********************

ngl Lorelei needed to get knocked down a peg.

But they are seeing a little more eye to eye at least now.

@pimosworld @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @whatthefishh @missdictatorme @milkymoon2483 @poeedameronn@itspdameronthings @miraclesabound @babymills16 @rayslittlekitten

[heartshapedbubble]

guys guess what i finally fucking finished for the two people that are actually interested in my dm fic (impossible) !!!!!!!

"childhood friends", a d.m. fanfic🐍// chapter 2

NOT PROOFREAD YET AGAIN I AM IN PAIN, TW/CW for physical/verbal abus3, reader's gender not specified, OC insert and it's desire's dad and he fucking sucks, fuck sulphur mélodis all my homies hate sulphur mélodis, this all feels so rushed helpme how do you write, 90% of this isn't canon so don't use this as a source </3, ironically i hate reading angst but ummm

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I pity child me.

So clueless. So young and innocent, not aware of his destiny, and the role he has to play in the adult world. An easily manipulated marionette, just waiting to be grasped and controlled by someone with power.

I wasn't fit for ordinary life. It was obvious since day one - toys were replaced by hardcover books, and the time I could have spent playing was instead fulfilled by studying and learning. None of the adults that I was surrounded by radiated that warm, protective aura of a loving parent. Not even my own father.

And still, I kept trying to find my place in the human world. I clawed through the ever-growing shadows just to make a small mold for myself to fit into the ordinary, even though I knew my pathetic attempts will be suppressed sooner or later. The vision of ideal life was like a small window on a cold, thick wall, but the sunrays seeping through it shined brighter than anything i've ever seen before.

I wanted to be loved.

Even though I knew I was never supposed to be loved.

But what fueled me the most was that night. Their teethy, innocent smile. Their childish way of speaking and all of the sweet joys of life they decided to show me. That night lingered in my head for years, to the point I idealized it way more than i should. It was nothing like i experienced before but it felt like... home. It might have been just an overly glamorized moment, but it gave me hope. Hope that one day I might escape from the empty, lonely world that surrounded me. That there's something better out there. The images of that night etched themselves into my brain, each part looping over and over again to the point I memorized them by heart. But it was all in vain - one part of myself knew that anyway.

To this day, I still wish I stopped trying immediately.

It would have hurt less.

-

The street was empty, except for the fast, loud tapping of feet.

Desire swore that he never ran this fast in his life - he could feel saliva sticking to the sides of his lips and all the various pebbles under his feet trying to kick off his balance. But it didn't matter. Even though his body seemed like he was dying, he never felt more alive. He quickly wiped off the beads of sweat rolling down his forehead with his sleeve, and hid behind a bush in front of his house to catch a breath. The ghastly villa was silent as usual, only the window of his father's office gleaming with cold, bright light.

He slowly picked himself up and got into the house as quickly and silently as possible. Still panting as he folded his coat, he sat beside the clothing rack. He slowly tapped his face as the heat lingered on his fingertips. Damn it, I'm probably red in the face, too. Now that he arrived home safely, the only thing remaining to do was to sneak into his room without alerting anyone.

Trying to sneak through the villa was no easy feat - the house was older than Desire (and probably his father, too) and every single door creaked, even with minimal movement. But there was no other way to get out of this situation without alerting his father in a more obvious way - Desire decided he's going to play the russian roulette of creaky floorboards today. Even if his father notices it, it could be brushed off since all of the butlers had already left the house by this time of the day. Slowly taking his heavy pair of shoes off, he stepped onto the first polished plank, praying to every single deity he could name off the top of his head that it doesn't creak.

The plank responded by silently wedging into the floor under his weight. Thank god. He slowly continued down the hallway, stretching out his legs with every step as if he was some long-legged stork. It was easier to trigger the creaking that way, but it was also the fastest option. Desire just wanted all of this to end, as soon as possible. His glance ended up on the staircase, right in front of him. Moving up the carpet-covered stairs was a way easier challenge, so once he reaches it, the hardest part of the job will be done. After that conclusion, he noticed his feet almost moved on their own. He was sloppier and quicker, but he just couldn't stop the rush of excitement and relief running through his brain in circles. Just a bit more, he thought, adrenaline pumping through his veins, and I'm going to be in my room, sleeping in my bed and dreaming of-

"Desire."

He froze on the spot, and the last step let out an obnoxiously loud creak. He knew that he would screw up, as usual.

"Don't make me call you over for the second time. Come to my office, and hurry up."

His heart felt like it might just break through his ribcage. There was no other choice but to accept his fate and head towards his father's office at the other end of the hallway. He slowly turned away and began walking towards it. It was nauseating, getting closer and closer to the door that seemed to get bigger and bigger with each step. The polychromed silver carvings on the top of it started looking like sharp, massive fangs, as if the door was a monster's gaping mouth ready to swallow him whole. A million thoughts echoed through his mind, none of them being uplifting and helping him calm down. As if that wasn't enough, he felt a knot starting to tie in his stomach, tugging tighter with each new thought popping up.

Finally, he reached the door, feeling his knees slowly twitching as he stood. He laid his hand on the big iron doorknob - it was ice cold, immediately numbing his fingers upon touching it. Hesitatingly, he pushed the door open, and let his eyes adjust to the dim, cold light of the room.

"What's with the slowness? Come over here. Take a seat."

Sulphur Mélodis was a man of tall, menacing stature, making even the most stern of Desire's lecturers flinch when he raised his voice. Despite his build, he was nothing but expensive, yet classy jewelry and sharp, sleek shadows in a fitted, tailored coat. His long charcoal grey hair draped around his neck in thick, gentle waves, and a lone, silver streak of hair ran down by his cheek like a coiled snake. If it wasn't for Desire's vibrant, blue eyes and round chubby face, he'd be a spitting image of his father.

"Father". Ew. That word left a bitter aftertaste in his mouth whenever he had to say it, and even saying it out loud alone felt like a suppresed cough, something he had to forcefully spit out just to get him to pay attention or notice his presence. In reality, Sulphur could be anything but a father, hell, he was more of a potential president candidate than a parent. Desire didn't even consider him a family member sometimes - he was the same like any other of his teachers, butlers and caretakers, treating him as if he was some surreal being or a porcelain doll on a display, except Sulphur was the only one of them that dared to forcefully grip his wrist and put him back to his place. The only one of them that dared to show any actual authority.

He headed towards the end of the table where his father sat, a pulled out wooden chair waiting for him. The dim light couldn't beat the dark shadows, so it only illuminated the sharp edges and corners of his face, carving it out to the point his father's head looked like a skull. Shaking, he sat on the chair and squinted - his eyes finally adapted to the dark and he managed to make out his grey eyes glaring at him. Desire swore on his life that his pupils were just pitch black tunnels that light never refracted from.

"What are you doing up so late? It's already ten o'clock. You should have already been asleep." His father said. His voice was hoarse and silent, but that could change in just about a second.

"I went out to get a cup of warm milk. I couldn't fall asleep." Desire whispered back. What a damn lie. Lying to Sulphur Mélodis was the dumbest thing anyone could do, but here he was, a five-foot-three eleven year old king of all clowns, daring to do so. It was all out of desperation, but he knew damn well that this all could backfire on him in a moment. Still, he dug himself a grave by lying already, and the only thing left to do was to keep digging and pray that the punishment won't be too bad.

"To the kitchen?" Sulphur tilted his head. "The butlers already left your usual dinner for you next to your room. Warm dinner. And this has been going on for years now. How could you forget a crucial part of your routine?"

"I mean, it... happens?"

"Just like that, I presume." He reached into the dark to grab his cane, which always somewhere by his side. He quickly spinned it in his hand, the feather-shaped iron tip pointing at Desire's leg. The tip tore apart the stitched hole in his sock with ease. Desire pressed his lips together. "For silk socks, you have to double stitch to prevent the soft material from ripping apart once again. You've been slacking off during your housekeeping class, haven't you?" One thing was sure, his father was right - Desire often didn't pay attention in classes he considered boring. How would learning how to properly wash glass surfaces help him in life anyway? Sometimes a class would be better spent with a good book on his lap. Besides that, his teacher was a bore. Luckily, even though she wore glasses, she was oblivious to whatever Desire was doing during class, as she seemingly thought reading some fashion magazines during the lecture and lazily assigning tasks would make him get to work.

A gloved finger approached his cheek, rubbing itself onto the sticky surface. "I don't remember ordering peaches for today's meals, either." He silently wiped his hand with a hankerchief.

"I took one from last week's fruit basket. I forgot I had it."

"Those were ripe, homegrown peaches. They would have started rotting by the next two days."

"Well.. maybe you forgot you ordered peaches?"

"That's the thing, Desire: I never forget."

He leaned in towards Desire, two gray, emotionless dots staring directly into his soul. "Not only did you become forgetful and carefree, you're also a horrible liar."

The cane was yet again nested in his palm as he rose up from the chair, towering over his son like a giant. "Come on now. Spit it out. What's happening, Desire? Anything you need to tell me? Everything can be fixed."

It was such an attractive offer. An urge rose up inside of him, an urge to tell him how much he hates having to spend every damn minute of the day studying, how tired he is of being shut up every time he tries to speak up for himself, and how much he despises him. How he hates him for stripping him from his childhood for his own stupid, selfish reasons. How he wants to be free of all the numerous boundaries and limits. He wanted to cry, to scream, to choke on his own tears and point his finger right into his own father's face. But what was the point? It wasn't something solved by tucking a folded stack of cash into one's front pockets and shutting them up, or whatever his father did to get people to mindlessly obey his commands.

"I went out today." He started. What Sulphur said started to seem more like a threat for him to be honest than a sincere encouragement. He was angry at himself - first he decides to lie, and after that he decides to get himself into even more trouble by telling the truth.

"What should I do with that information? On weekends you're allowed to go out for 20 minutes to get some fresh air."

"I don't think you understand. I went out. Away from the house. After dinner."

Sulphur's eye twitched.

"Where did you go?" His voice was still quiet, but Desire could sense the anger in it. He was struggling and gnawing at every word that came out of his mouth, as if he was chewing cement.

"A couple of houses away. I wasn't out for too long anyway."

"This evening you were supposed to have extra English classes. What was the lecturer doing at the time?"

"He went home. You should have seen his face when I handed him the cash and told him to get out as quietly and quickly as possible." His voice was shaky and out of breath, and his legs still trembled, but god, was it a good feeling to snap back for once. He already fucked up simply by trying to get himself out of this situation as soon as possible, so why not die today too?

"Did you go out alone?"

"No. I went with a friend. They were the person who invited me out anyway."

The vein near his father's eye was pulsing as his eyes started seeming emptier and emptier. "I see. You're starting to show some spine." He slowly strutted around his chair, like a vulture circling around a fresh corpse ready to devour it.

"Too bad you decided to show it to the wrong person."

It all went down before Desire could even think of a comeback to his words. The cane slammed the leg of the chair with immense force, making it collapse into pieces, and making him fall down along with it, too. He landed straight on his back, the rough landing pushing all of the air out of his lungs and forcing him into a coughing fit.

"Who do you think you're talking to?" He growled, "Are you even aware of all the numerous sacrifices I make every day all for your education? Of all the money, time and patience I invest into you? And this is how you repay me?". His jaw trembled after every sentence, his cane pointed at Desire like an accusatory finger. "Repay me by being a selfish, ungrateful brat?"

Desire was still coughing, tears piling up on his eyelashes. He didn't have the courage to muster a word. A wave of pain sent pulsing signals to every inch of his body, his limbs feeling like pathetic, breakable sticks as he used up all of his remaining strength to prop himself up with his hand. He felt so miserable, so vulnerable and easily crushed.

"I was never a selfish brat!" Desire's jaw shaked and his lips trembled as he struggled with each scream, full of hatred. His index finger weakly pointed back at his father's cane, twitching as if he could collapse any second. "Y-you just, I-"

Before he could cough up the last sentence, his father's silver cane flashed before his eyes, and the sharp glint permanently engraved itself into his mind.

The painful, scorching feeling suddenly hit his palm and made him cry out in agony. Through tears, he watched the blood leak out of the clean cut that spread itself from his index finger to his wrist. His fingers weren't spaired either, the blunt hit from the edge of the tip bruising them and coloring them a faint purple.

His father twisted the head of the cane once again, making the small, hidden blade in the bottom of it retract. "Don't ever dare speak to me like that again. You're a disgrace, Desire." , a muted voice scowled, every word packed with disgust.

Salty tears kept soaking Desire's face as he winced through the fresh wave of pain that weakened him for the second time tonight. "I...I ... just wanted to experience what every other child did. Or at least, what most of them did", he muttered out quietly, trying not to stumble on his own words, "I... that friend. The person I met that invited me... They were like no one I met before, yet they were so... warm. I could feel the heat lighting up my cheeks whenever I was with them, making me smile on my own. If that's so wrong, why did it feel so... right?"

Sulphur crouched right next to him and exhaled, staring right into his eyes once again. The disgusted grimace on his face seemingly disappeared, at least for a brief moment.

"It's so easy to get swayed in life. Just think, Desire. The average man made his life so simple and enjoyable, to the point he prioritized his own entertainment over more important things, like power and knowledge. Why are you letting things like that obstruct your path all out of a sudden? The path that we paved for you together, that you've been following for years now?"

"I... but what about friends?"

His father slowly exhaled once again, this time speaking more calmly.

"Friends are just another thing created by the average man. Another thing that the modern society made up in order to make people's sad, meaningless lives happier. Instead, there are partners. Co-workers. A "friend" is just a pathetic excuse of a human leech, draining you of all your riches and energy for their own benefit. A friend always expects something in return, even if they don't say so. Think about it - putting so much faith into someone, opening up to them, just for them to move away from you whenever they want and carry all your insecurities, all your flaws and secrets with them and hand them over to anyone else who might be interested. Doesn't it sound bad?"

"But..."

"What do you mean by "but"? Look around for a second, and realize the truth - they manipulated you in order for you to hate me."

Desire's mind suddenly blacked out, processing the words his father whispered to him. Was it really his own conclusion? Did the hatred burn through his childhood unnoticeably, or was it an eye opener when he met them - no, was it something secretly slipped into his mind upon speaking to them? All the confusing theories mashed together into one huge mass of nonsense. Yet, when he looked back at the piercing, black eyes glaring at him expectantly, he couldn't find that gentle warmth of actual love, not even the passing signs of its existence.

"Well..."

"Desire, while growing up, did you have everything you ever needed? Food, water, clean clothes, and all of the books your heart desired?"

"I did, but-"

"Did I ever restrict one of those things as punishment? Did I ever tell you that I hated you? Did I ever say "no" to any of your requests, unless I had a valid reason to do so, which I told you?"

"Um..."

"Make up your mind, Desire."

"...No."

"Exactly."

His sharp jawline relaxed for once as he reached for his cheek and softly caressed it. A faint, sour smile appeared on his face, too, but it was everything but sincere. It was a smile of someone who was drained of all good in the world.

"I only want the best for you, son. And you know that well", he gently spoke through his teeth, "So don't let yourself get swayed with such otherworldly, hateful ideas that tear our family apart. Okay?"

"Yes, dad."

It wasn't okay. It was everything but okay. But he didn't have the power to use up yet another ounce of energy to argue back, to spit out some sad, low-level insult to reignite the argument. While slowly picking himself up from the floor, his father cleared his throat. Without turning around, he whispered: "From tommorrow on, we'll have a... different program for your everyday routine. I'll make sure that no one ever plants such worrisome and hateful thoughts ever again, alright? You can say your goodbyes to that "friend" of yours too."

It was inevitable, but yet, the last sentence stabbed itself right into Desire's heart, like a trusty assassin's dagger mercilessly piercing its victim. "Now, go to sleep. And don't let such things play with your mind and common sense", his father said, closing the door behind him, "You have immense potential, Desire. Make both me and your mother proud. It would break her heart to see you get ruined by something so... primitive."

Throwing himself onto his bed, the blue-eyed boy felt the pain wrap around his body for one last time before falling to sleep. He was defeated and shut up once again, for the millionth time. Trying to desperately grasp for the smile that previously spun itself in his mind like a pop song vinyl, a pearly tear drenched his silk pillowcase. Would he ever see them again? He weakly gripped his bedsheets to feel warmth, to simply hold onto something - but the cold fabric could only gently soak up his sobs and whimpers. Once again, he was just a little helpless boy, whose cries could only be witnessed by his cold, dark room.

[dotsdrabbles]

Why?

Porco Galliard x fem!Reader

Word count: 1103

Warnings: mentions of death, implied romantic feelings, it's more on the angsty side

Hiya! I thought I would start off my page with a Porco x Reader drabble! Honestly Porco is one of my favourite characters and deserved so much better. This isn't fully proofread, but hope you all enjoy it nonetheless! it may be a bit ooc buuuuuttt I was just having too much fun to be honest :).

The summer heat in Liberio had always been unbearable. The air was humid and uncomfortable, mimicking a suffocating sensation as your lips tingle and your mouth dries out. It didn't help that it hadn't rained for almost 2 weeks and now the internment zone was facing drought.

“I fucking hate the summer.” Porco grunted, adjusting the yellow armband on his left bicep. “This heat makes me want to rip my skin off.” he exaggerated, leaning against a wall.

You had known Porco ever since you were both little, you were neighbours and would go out to play in the street with him and his brother Marcel. You were both 16 now and whilst he was still training to one day get his full warrior title, you carried on with your mainstream education in hopes to become a doctor but as it was the summer holidays you were stuck running your parents corner shop in town.

You let out a small chuckle as you stacked the shelves. The shop was small, cramped and in this weather it was more like a sauna. “You know you would say the same thing if it was winter, right? Oh Y/N it's freezing outside, I hate the winter” you digged, shooting him a playful look before adjusting your own white armband.

Playfully, he rolled his eyes with a huff. “Oh shove off.”

It wasn't uncommon to hear Porco huff or complain, he had always been this way since he was little…although you had noticed it his mood dampened even more when he found out he wasn't inheriting a titan like his older brother and was staying behind in Liberio as Marcel, Annie, Bertholdt and Reiner got to go on a big honourable adventure to wipe out the island devils of Paradis.

You knew Porco was still bitter, could you blame him? He had been working his ass off everyday, training to the point of nausea just so the armoured titan could be given to Reiner? You had nothing against Reiner, he could be sweet at times and although you were never there to see him train you did think it was odd that he was chosen over Porco. It made no sense.

“Pock?” You walked back behind the counter and sat on a stool, head in your hands as you watched his face twist from the nickname. “Why did you join the Warrior programme?” it had been a question that constantly plagued your mind however you didn't dare bring it up- until now.

Brows furrowed and body language closed he replied, “What do ya mean? Isn't it obvious?”

“No, I understand the benefits of becoming a Warrior…”

“The better healthcare, honorary Marelyan status for you and your family. It's a no brainer really, you would have to be an idiot to pass up an offer like that- no offence” you could tell you was hitting a nerve by his tone of voice, but you carried on anyway.

“Right, but wouldn't you have gotten these benefits just from Marcel being a warrior anyway? Why did you have to sign up too?”

“Are you seriously asking why I wanted to do something for my motherland? To make up for all the wrongdoings our people have done over the years?” he snapped, face turning red a bit from anger.

“No, I'm asking why you're so willing to become a monster and drastically shorten your life for a country that doesn't care about you!? Meanwhile the people who care about you are left to pick up the pieces- If there even are any pieces of Porco Galliard left!” you bit back, your own face heating up and your fists clenched.

“WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH?! For fuck sake Y/N get off my dick! It's my life and I can do what I want with it!?!” He began to yell which made tears gather in the corners of your eyes.

“Get out.” you straightened your back, thankful no one was in the shop to witness this fight.

“What? You can't be serious?” Porcos face fell, realising you were actually getting upset. He didn't mean to make you cry.

“You're barred. Get out!” she yelled, the tears streaming from your eyes, hiccups and chokes escaped from your throat.

Porco just blankly stared at you, guilt filling his body, but he wouldn't apologise, that wasn't the kind of man he was. Grabbing his army green jacket, he stormed out of the shop with a face like thunder. Once he was gone, you allowed your sadness to consume you, mourning a man who hadn't even died yet.

It was stupid for you get upset, you knew this was going to happen. Porco could be hot headed and he was hurting himself. Although you asked him you knew why he wanted to join the unit: to finally get out of his older brother's shadow, to be seen as more than just his brother. To prove he was strong, he wanted to make a difference. He just wanted to be remembered, rather than get lost in the pages of history and if that meant killing himself in the process then so be it.

But what about you?

You who had grown so fond of the blonde boy over the years, the way he could make you giggle at the most stupid things whilst his own laugh would boom and fill the room with joy, making yourself giggle even more when he let out the occasional snort that he hated but you loved so much. How he would always make sure you were always walking on the inside of the pavement, away from traffic. How he would hold you ever so tightly when you got upset over some boy, who you were supposed to go on a date with, began to avoid you even though Porco knew damn well it was because he decided to have a “chat” with him.

If only you knew, he was only still doing all of this for you.

It has always been for you. He wanted to marry you and give you honorary Marleyan status so you didn't have to live in the slums of Liberio anymore, you could go to a really good medical school and have a decent wage. He wanted to give you a better life, even if you never cared for him like he did for you. Porco knew Marcel's honorary Marleyan citizenship wouldnt extend to you if you married Porco so that's why he stayed in the unit, even after he was denied his titan.

He will make it work, he will find a way.

[unabashednightmarepizza]

𝑆𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝐼𝑠 𝑊𝑟𝑜𝑛𝑔, Part 1

A/N: I changed the original story line a bit in here, so just beware! Also, writers-block is a bitch and when I sit down to write something after ages... I have at least 20K worth of a work which I had to divide in 2 and even that isn't enough...

Warnings: Bill and Frank being parents, Bill is not dead, I know it was unfair for him but I love sadness, Bill being soft with reader, found family trope at its best, mentions of death, mentions of pregnancy in apocalyptic world, infected children, mentions of killing infected children...

Series Masterlist

Joel Miller was a certaifed stupid, and how he left with Ellie only further proved this even when you clearly warned him about everything.

When you left the morning before, now it had been two days or maybe three, you wished and hoped that Joel would listen to you for once. After everything you did together, everything you told him about... You thought he wouldn't go with his plan.

But sitting down on a chair in Maria's home, while the woman was cursing at Tommy for also going with them, you couldn’t agree more with her frustration.” Those Miller boys and their stupidity! Who do they think they are when their women told them to sit their asses down?!” she hissed angrily, throwing her hand up in the air while you chuckled awkwardly and made her sit down to cool a bit.

“For your info, I’m yet to be the woman but I completely agree with ya.” You meant for the words to comfort her, but by the look of disbelief and even more anger on her face-if that was possible- she scoffed at you.

“Oh, come on! Don’t be ridiculous, we all know you two had sex 3 days ago and confessed.” She said, surpessing a smirk at your shocked gaze. “When- How did you-“

“Ellie and Addy told everyone... God damn it, if they weren’t such shits, we could have been celebrating this!” you weren’t surprised the two noisy kids who became best friends quickly told them about it, but it didn’t make it any less embrassing for you to hear it so plainly and clearly.

You slept with Joel the fucking Miller, the town’s new Eiffel Tower.

And you were so god damn smug and happy about it.

Especially remembering how painfully shy he had become after seeing you naked next to him was a sight by itself.

“Yeah, I did. One of the best nights of my life, and I intend to have them for more yearsto come so, if you excuse me... I will go and fetch their asses.” You said with a smile, remembering how his calloused and warm hands felt against your body, how you boldly made a move

“I’m comin-“ you raised a hand to stop Maria, pointing to her slightly obvious bump with a serious look.

“I know that you can hold yourself, Maria but the baby in you can’t.”

“You can’t go there alone, Y/N...”

“Who said I would?” you quirked your brow at her teasingly, her tilting her head in response. It wasn’t for long that she understood what you meant, and looked after you with her own knowing smirk.“Oh, you sly woman...”

Catching up to them, with a few days ahead of you, wasn’t hard. Being the Night Killer, the vicious killer who killed more than let alive, you were good with finding your way through the tunnels and forests.

But Bill wasn’t.

And Addy was obviously making it hard for him with her sassy answers which was a product of yours.

“God damn you, and your stubborn ass woman! Why the hell are we following after them?!” he yelled over, making Addy throw a funny face to him instead which made him grunt and raise his gun for any attacks. You rolled your eyes at both of their childish attitude, knowing Bill actually held a soft spot for the girl but since she was the living copy of you who had gotten the sassy remarks from him...

It made it hard for him.

“To save their sorry asses, old man. I didn’t tell you to follow me, just told you that I would be going after them. You were the one who came-“

“Yeah, because I made a promise to Frank!”

Frank, the name that made both of you bleed painfully. Bill, for the lover he lost, and you... For the father figure you lost. You gulped with tears sitting at the corner of your eyes, and Bill’s gaze softened at the way the love and care still was somewhere in your heart. Even though you were a killer for most, a hero or the villain who sacrificed everything...

You were still a little girl deep inside.

You were the reason why Bill didn’t kill himself that day, making a promise to Frank...

You were his new purpose now.

“I’m sorry for yelling, Y/N... I didn’t mean-“ he started regretfully, even for an ecantric man such as himself, he knew when he was wrong and needed to apologize. You knew it was a sensitive topic for him still, and you also knew what your true purpose was when you told him you were going to follow Joel and Tommy.

You knew he would come after you, and in a way, you used that against him.

“you don’t have to keep that promise anymore, Bill. You don’t have to pretend like you care either.” You said harshly and wiped your tears and continued walking through the empty, full of fungus streets while Bill was left speechless. Your story of meeting with the two was a strange one. It was one of those times that both he and Frank got out to kill the infecteds that entered the town. They stuck together but in the end, the Runnerz were a lot to handle and they accepted death...

Only to be met with the cold, black veil of legend herself.

The cold-blooded killer, Jack the Ripper in a female body...

The Night Killer.

After that, it was a constant loop of Frank trying to make you get out of your shell while Bill told him that it was the worst idea ever crossing his mind. But for some reasons unknown to Frank, you reminded him of himself.

Of how scared he was before meeting Bill.

And deep down, in your wild and cold eyes... He saw the potential to be more.

And he made it his mission to make it come true.

“I never said I didn’t care, Y/N...”

“Says the man who wanted to kill me at the first chance given... Seriously Bill, it’s not like I’m gonna blame you. I was the most horrible person and you had-“

“Shut up and listen for once, you woman!” you stood frozen at where you were, turning to him with a face that told him to go on. “It’s true that I didn’t like you at all, and even went as far as trying to hunt you in your sleep...” you rolled your eyes at his frustrated ramble, turning to leave and keep walking. You already knew about it all, knew and saw how... serious he was about killing you at that night. You still remembered the chills you got at the look in his eyes and the knife he held in between his hands, how you calmly continued to lay on your side and waited for him to finally kill you.

Kill you so that you could finally be free.

But for some reasons, he didn’t and instead widened his eyes, taking several steps back as if the sight of you and the knife in his hands burnt him. He then left without saying anything, and ever since then... You wondered why he didn’t kill you when he had the chance.

“If you trully wanted me dead... Why didn’t you do it when you had the chance? When I did nothing to stop you?”

“Because... I also saw what Frank did. How there was still a good part in you, an innocent and fragile side you never let anyone see... And suddenly, the feeling of caring for another being overtook me, made me scared. And I ran away, never talking about it to anyone, but deep down... I wished I had a child like you, even when I was being a douche and always said I hated the mere idea of them.” He tenderly took your hand in his, the young skin contrasting with his older and veiny ones, and with that simple act came the tears you had been keeping to yourself, making you stop and bow your head in silent agony.

You never knew he felt like that, never knew that two men you had come to care for as if they were your parents also saw you like their kid.

 The kid they never had.

You always thought the soft, caring touches of Frank on your hair was just meant to tame you. The way he would make the best meals and bring them to you was only to keep you alive, and the way he insisted on teaching you how to take care of plants was a play to get under your skin and use it against you...

When all of them were done out of love and care.

I was so awful to Frank... The first man who treated me with kindness... And now, he is gone.

“How can you love me after all the shit I did to you? I was such a bitch to Frank, and now he is gone and I couldn’t even tell him that I, too, loved him like a dad...”

He watched you with his own sad ones, a soft smile pulling his lips up at the sight of you crying, feeling and seeing you as a little girl who injured herself. He didn’t know the answer why he was so protective of you, why he always stuck around you or even followed you here-barrelling out his house and coming as soon as possible- He often asked himself why, even after realizing that he started to feel like Frank about you.

He always silently watched over you, thinking that he was protecting Frank. Took more food to bring, time out to make sure there was nothing else that would come after you.

Even if you often walked in the most awkward times, such as mornings when you couldn’t find Frank who you grew used to easily.

“Y/N WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!”

“I am hungry and didn’t want to mess with anything in the kitchen... But I see that you had your fill.”

“I swear to God, if you don’t get out in 10 seconds...”

Or whenever you caught them in quite sensual ways, like a kid always following the parents. But they were like the kids being scolded in front of you with blushes all over their cheeks, with you standing before them with an agitated look.

“If we live in a house, there needs to be rules... Rule number 1 includes stop getting handsy.

He always thought what he felt deep in his heart, the flutters and the twitching, was because you irritated him. Before you,  he did everything he wanted any time. By himself, and with Frank. He wanted that life, and often avoided you since he “saw” you as an obstacle...

He didn’t understand what it was until you went away one day, and never returned. He remembered how Frank was devastated, and how he begged him to find you and take care of you. Not for himself, for Frank was already dying.

But unknown to Bill, Frank put a radio in your bag before you left and kept in contact... Until the day he was dead.

And remembering Frank’s last words, there is someone that will have a part of me with Y/N, Bill saw what he meant by them.

Frank’s love and care shaped you into a better person, brave and strong. And you shaped the little girl running in front of you curiously, looking around without touching anything per your warning.

“I think he knows, dear... Frank is already here, with us. In the shape of that little girl. He changed you, thought you to love and care again, and you raised an amazing girl with your love.” You smiled at his words, deep down knowing that he was telling the truth. You weren’t related to any of them by any means, it was impossible after all, but you swore that Addy had Frank’s soft eyes, caring yet brave side that always protected those close to her.

And you hoped that Frank was trully watching you three, hopefully proud of you.

“Mom, I’m gonna go and look if there is something useful for us, okay?!” Addy yelled to you, pointing to one of the tall building ahead. You briefly looked to where she was pointing and nodded your head to her way.

“Okay, don’t get too deep inside!” she yelled something in response, excitedly going to the building you three would get in to look around more closely while you abruptly turned and gave Bill a hug.

A crashing hug that made one loose all the breath uet warmed them.

He chuckled at your unusual soft side and hugged you back, hands raking through your locks with his cheek smushed against the top of your head. He felt the tears come to his eyes slowly, having missed the feeling of having your loved one between his arms, and swore for his life to protect uou and Addy even if it costed him his life.

He would do it for you, for Addy, for Frank...

But above all, for himself and the lover you had lost.

He remembered Frank telling him one day that you found a man to love, brave and good-hearted, which made Bill feel jealous. Then he went on telling him everything he had learnt from you, what you guys did what you were doing, how everything was... Until his voice dropped at telling Bill what happened...

How Michael, your lover, was dead and you were left pregnant... Seriously, how long had it been?

“How old is she?”

“You mean how old did you get?”

“Y/N...” he warned you softly, which made you sigh and take his hand to get inside the building Addy disappeared into, on guard with your gun out.

“14...”

“That means... You gave birth to her when you were still the Night Killer.”

“I am always the Night Killer, Bill... I just keep that blood-thirsty, dark side of me controlled, hidden.... I didn’t want to let her go because I selfishly wanted someone I could love and drop that shocked attitude, I’m not a monster that kills children for no reason.” You giggled, slightly on guard after what you said. You knew that child infected ones were... disturbing for even a man like Bill.

And it definetly was.

“No reason? What could be the reason of such shit?!”

“Being infected... When they’re infected... There’s nothing you could do but end their misery. Even if it kills you inside.” You kicked one of the doors open with your gun, lowering your mouth to the radio to reach out to your daughter.

“Addy, where are you? Are you safe?” you waited for only a few seconds before she picked up. It was the deal between you two. When you would let her come with you, she always had to reply back to you and if she didn’t?

You would come to give Hell to the stupid asshole who tried to take your daughter.

“I’m safe mom! In the second door from your left, the door you kicked I mean....” you smiled in return and pointed to Bill where Addy was, both running inside to see the girl looking out one of the windows carefully with a stern, serious face.

Way to serious for her.

“Addy, what’s wrong?”

“Uhh...What I am seeing won’t make you any happier...” she said without looking, waiting for a few seconds before she spoke again innocently. “Not that grandpa here is happy at all...”

“Goodness, Y/N, did you have to raise your mini-me so perfectly?’

“My mom is amazing, of course she raised someone as perfect as she is!”

“Okay, okay! Stop simping over me and let me see!” you leaned over to see whatever it was that made your daughter get nervous, curious if it was some rookie raiders...

But the sight that welcomed you, was trully not a good one as Addy said.

“We need to go down and help them! They will get killed!” Addy quickly moved to head out, fierce in her own way to go and kill whoever threatened her family, whoever dared to hurt them. It was something she had seen from you, something she took after you and used at every chance given.

But you knew where that would go if you didn’t set some boundries.

She would go as far as sacrificing herself for others, with no single care for her life.

And you weren’t ready for that.

Ready to let her go, your little baby go, especially in a world like this.

“Addy... Be careful. I’m not loosing anyone today.” You held her wrist thightly, eyes shaky with fear for the girl before you, stopping her in her track. It had been days that you’ve been observing those fuckers, cannibals, and the last thing you wanted was to loose her when you were trying to save others.

She gave a beaming, reassuring smile, knowing how much you worried about her given to the circumstances, nodding to your words before hopping down and walking out the building alongside Bill. “We will, mom! You have our back after all!”

“Always, my dear... Always.” You whispered while looking at their backs sternly with thight lips, rounding up the corner to settle on the roof where they were keeping Tommy, Joel, Ellie and two other kids. Seeing them all tied up, Ellie screaming to be free while her tears poured down her eyes like waterfalls, Tommy struggling in his chair while screaming Joel’s name...

And the sight of Joel’s bloody torso...

They all ignited a fire deep inside, all burning and destroying, causing a rage that was far too dangerous even in this world. A rage that made you who you were...

They would pay, for the tears on Ellie’s face and the blood that was shed of your lover.

Entering the building with the girl a few steps before him, Bill shivered harshly. It was like those sudden shiverings when you knew trouble was close but deep down... He knew it was the effect of you.

The Night Killer’s effect, an affect that promised blood-shed.

Looking at the girl who was already resembling you a lot by the way she acted, he sighed and thought about Frank for what seemed like a hundreth time. He probably would love to learn that you didn’t run after revenge anymore, even going as far as calling the kid his granddaughter. He wondered if she knew, if she was aware of who her mother was...

But yet again, those days were no more for you. You said it yourself: I’m done with all the killing, Bill.

So, if you decided that it would stay hidden... Then, it would stay hidden.

But if there was one thing which stayed the same with you and passed on the girl...

That was to act on urges.

“Hi, hello- Oh, damn! Sorry, man, you having some problems?” she exclaimed when she saw a man hold the gun to Ellie’s face and her jaw thightened in anger for someone threatening her best friend’s life. The man in question, one of David’s followers, aggresively turned the gun to her and Bill behind, Ellie’s eyes widened at the sight of Addy holding her hands out so that the man wouldn’t shoot, yelling at him and insulting.

“SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU BITCH AND LAY WHERE THE OLD MAN LIES!” both Addy and Bill gasped silently at the sight of Joel’s bloody body, impaled and bleeding. Addy could feel the slight tears come to her eyes while Bill’s hands twitched at his sides at the state he was in, with Ellie pressing down on the wound so that he wouldn’t bleed out more.

There were so much blood, more than normal and definetly more than Addy or Bill ever saw on someone.

“DROP YOUR GUNS AND SIT AT THE CORNER! THE FUCK YOU WAITING FOR?! DO IT!”

“Okay, okay... Calm down.” She nudged Bill to do as she was doing, dropping their guns on the ground and setting themselves down next to Joel who opened his eyes slightly and groaned in pain at the sight of Addy, in a way asking what she was doing here, trying to get up to shield her even in his state but, Addy’s hand stopped him softly making him lay down.

“It's okay, old man... She is here.” She whispered slowly, both Ellie’s and Joel’ eyes shining with hope. Joel already felt bad at not being able to keep his promise to you, the promise of coming back in one piece, and now, your life was in danger because of him...

Again.

And you were here to save his sorry ass... Again.

Seeing her whisper down, the man shot his gun which the black guys flinched and tried to protect her. He yelled profanities at her, shooting like a maniac with a grin when one, clear shot rang through the whole place...

And the man dropped dead with that bloody smile.

Addy slowly raised her head beneath the arms that was protecting her, seeing the worried eyes of the older guy look at her, asking if she was okay. She nodded and checked everyone, no one had any bullet wounds which was a relief and slowly got up to look out the window to see you cleaning your rifle and preparing to get down.

“Addy, be careful! Whoever is there might-“ exclaimed Ellie worriedly, fearing that she would be shot too but Addy only smiled wide out the window, turning to her with a happy face and hips cocked to the side sassily.

“do you think some measly hunter or something could shoot that clean? It was mom... She is coming here.”

“But, there are more of that men! She could get seriously injured!” before they could continue arguing the raspy, struggling voice of Joel spoke, having a hard time with speaking with the wound in his stomach. Even in his state, he didn’t back down from worrying about you, about everyone in the room. It was his fault that he didn’t hear their group sneak up on them, it was his fault he was stabbed and the tears on Ellie’s face was also his fault.

And now that you were coming here... It would also be his fault that the disappointment and fear sat your face he loved so much but never said anything.

“She is... though... She would give ‘em hell.” said Tommy, as if he heard Joel’s silent dilemna while Addy sat him free from the ropes holding him down thihhtly on the chair, eyes catching your fast figure down on the street which was... killing everyone that came across you.

“Heck yeah, she would. So be prepared and make your prayers because she is coming right here to whoop your ass.”

And whoop their asses you would.

Sometimes men could be so stupid. Tommy, for not having an eye out, especially at this part of the city; Joel, for thinking of himself to be invincible and Bill for freezing. Ever since you knew those three men, it had always been you who saved their asses, help around clearing the infected.

“They should stop calling themselves fighters if I’m always the one protecting them. Seriously, I was done with killing and now... I have to deal with those fuckers.” You huffed out while putting the rifle on its respective place and yanking out your gun and axe. At least 12 of them was standing before the building they were held captive and there could be more of them inside but now that you saw the state Joel was in...

Nothing could stop you.

It was like a red button was pushed, suddenly seeing all red. They were all your enemies, obstacles to reach to those you cared about. They were cannibals after all, they didn’t care about humans or anyone in general...

They didn’t have to live...

But they didn’t have to die swiftly too...

When it was all done and clear, all that was left of those who was unfortunate enough to stand in your way was... Unrecognizable, with blood and other organs sticking out. You played with the axe you held, turning it to either side and with a hard look, you went in, careful for any sound.

From Clickers and humans.

Yet, your feet carried you upstairs quickly to where Joel, the kids and Tommy were. Your heart beated hard, with fear and adrenaline at the sight that would welcome you. The man you loved, laying there almost motionless, maybe even dead. The man who was fine 2 weeks ago, laying next to you under the sunlight hitting your bare skins and warming your bodies as if your hearts didn’t already do that job...

Everything was fine...

And that was why you insisted on them never leaving because even when the Fireflies weren’t there...

They always brought chaos.

Finding the room they were in wasn’t hard, with Bill’s constant yelling and Ellie’s insults, it would be impossible to miss it. You sighed heavily under your breath, cursing at their loud voices and relaxing when you spotted no Clickers. Entering the room by opening the door slowly, the two young black boys raised their gun at you, thinking of you as an intruder when Addy jumped up and made them put the guns down.

“It’s okay, it’s okay! She is my mom, she was the one who saved us!” you watched the kids heave silently, dropping the guns slowly and you watched them with a hard, threatening look. For several seconds, you three watched each other, trying to see what the other would do. “I don’t bite, kids. You may relax.”

“it sure as hell didn’t seem like that a few minutes ago...”

“It’s the way of living, kid. You gotta do what you gotta do for surviving.” You mumbled and took out a cloth from your pocket to clean the axe, momentarily making the young man flinch and touch his gun. You chuckled humorlessly, putting your axe on your back and walking up to him. “You’re a tough kid. Name is Y/N, what’s yours?”

He seemed to hesitate with trusting you, having an arm around the little boy when Ellie interfered. “She is a good woman, really! She is not like that motherfucker.”

“Good? I’m not sure... She is tough as a nail...”

“That was a shit tone, man! How in the-“

“That’s the pain talking, kid. He always is like that, and Joel? Shut up before I kick your family jewels!” You threatened Joel and he, being high on pain, chuckled and looked at you with a lovesick gaze, muttering a wow which you let out a groan and turned back to the boy before you.

You knew the look he had, the look of fear.

For both his life and the young boy’s, but the sight of Joel in need of your help was enough for you to sound so hostile and you didn’t have much time.

“Look, I know seeing new people when the world is like this ain’t the ideal way but if I wanted to kill you, I would have done that already... You wanna know what happened to those fuckers who kidnapped you?” he hesitantly nodded and you pointed to the window, where he moved with the boy clutched to him thightly and looked down... to see the nassacre you left behind.

“I would have exactly done that shit if I didn’t trust you. If Ellie says you’re friend, then you’re friend.Now, are you gonna tell me your names?” you clapped your hands and waited for them to talk, seeing the clogs run in their minds when the older one dropped his gun made the younger one do the same while using sign language.

So, the younger one is deaf  huh? That must be why he is so overprotective of him.

“ My name is Henry, and this is Sam... my younger brother.” You smiled down at the kid clutching his brother genuinely and signed nice to meet you, Sam in sign language which made the boy beam at you and Henry gaze at you shocked.

Damn, I never thought I would be using sign years later...

“You know sign language?”

“Learnt when I was young, when shit didn’t happen. I remember some words, not so extreme shit... You hungry? I brought food.” You set your back down and took out a few food and a medical kit to treat Joel, scolding yourself for forgetting about his wound when these two had guns pointed towards you. You gave the bag full of some crackers and cooked bean to them, Henry and Sam’s eyes widened and they took it gratefully from your hand. “You... Thank you, but what are you gonna eat?”

You waved your hand dismissively, kneeling down next to where Joel laid wounded and sweeped his hair back softly, worried eyes raking through his face while he watched you fondly with a sad look. “No need, kids. You need to eat, and you too Addy, Ellie. We’re fine right now, go and settle down for a few days. We will have to stay in here.”

“What do you mean we’re staying here?” The kids settled down a bit away from you four, letting the adults do the job when Tommy suddenly appeared next to you, eyes worriedly looking at his brother. “Joel can’t move with a wound like this one, Tommy. We need to stay for some time, lay low and hope that he will be fine enough to walk.”

“I'm fine, Y/N- aghh!” he whimpered in pain when you jabbed at the wound with steril gauze, a disappointed scowl setting over your features. “Yeah sure, like I believed you.”

“Keep going-“

“If you tell me this one more time, Joel, I swear to God I will make you suffer with my hand.” You voice shook slightly, the sight of him in pain was too much after not seeing him for weeks.

Remembering the last time you had the man you loved bloody in front of you...

Bill and Tommy sighed at the sight, knowing that you two needed to talk privately. “Okay... We’re staying here. There are snow everywhere, it would be hard to move. In the mean time, you get well brother and Y/N? Don’t blame yourself.”

You nodded at the meaning behind his words, how he pointed to what you knew about the Fireflies and how you failed- in your words- at protecting them. “I... can’t promise that but I will try. Go and watch over for tonight, no? Me and Bill will take care of Joel.” He nodded and went out, Bill going after him to find something to make Joel lay on while you two were left alone .

Joel’s eyesight was hazy because of the pain, but he could still make out your soft features even when it was covered in blood. He frowned at the sight, thumb slowly stroking the drying blood. “Is that yours?”

“You’re wounded, probably in pain and still asking if I’m okay?” you chuckled without humor and he grinned at you, though it was cut short by a cough and gave a smile that made you fall in love with him a bit more. “When I see blood on the woman I love, I’m gonna worry over her..  That’s the deal with me...”

“Yeah? Well, I guess you gotta trade that with me because when the man I love is in danger, all hell would break loose with me.” You let your forehead drop to his, both of you closing your eyes at the feeling of having the other right next to each other.

“Don’t go yet, please.” He begged, voice suddenly vulnerable and you nodded immediately, setting a hand over his chest and rubbing it comfortingly while mumbling I’m here continously to soothe his worries. Joel liked to pretend that he was strong, mighty enough to take whatever was thrown at him, always ready to put himself in danger if it meant he would die.

But right now, he was just a slightly scared man who relied on the person he loved, and trusted himself with.

And though his words failed him once again, his eyes spoke a million of them. Don’t leave me, I’m scared, Is everyone okay, Are you okay..?

And the most valuable one… I love you.

“I know, Joel… You don’t have to say it if you don’t feel ready… But know that I feel the same.” You smiled at him while taking a bottle of alcohol out to pour on his wound, preparing the needles and gauzes you brought and Tommy found. Joel looked at you with his shaky eyes, eyes that had tears in them. So long he had gone without love and care, and so long it had been ever since he felt them.

The last one was from Sarah, and ever since her death… Joel thought that he didn’t deserve anything good in his life, fort hey would be ripped apart from him.

And he didn’t want to, couldn’t let you be one of them. It would kill him, loosing the woman he loved… But it would sign his death penalty, knowing that a little girl who had no one except her mother would be left all alone.

But…

“Yeah..?” he asked, hopeful and selfish, wanting to hear you say the words over and over again even if he was scared to utter them. Utter the words that seemed like a curse to him at this point.

You nodded your head at him giddily, him chuckling at the enthusiasm behind your eyes. He put his hand above yours, giving it a reassuring and thight squeeze to make sure that you knew how important you were to him. No, not only him but to everyone.

He wouldn’t use his words, but perhaps one day… he would.

“You settled for an old man like me, sweetheart? Must have done something good…” he attempted to joke to lighten the mood, and he was successful in that when a snort left you.

“You aren’t that old Joel, and I’m not 20 or something. I’m almost 40.”

“ Doesn’t change that there is an almost 15 years of age gap…” he tried not to show it, but it was one of the main reasons why he was adamant on not telling those words, fearing that it would make you settle for him when you didn’t want it in reality. He knew it was silly, if you trully didn’t want him. You would have dumped him a long time ago.

Hell, you wouldn’t even come after him.

The thoughts made him frown cutely, a sight you weren’t ready to witness. It was probably because he was high on pain, nonetheless, it was a welcomed sight. But behind those words and frown, you saw what he said ate him alive slowly, the same insecure look of his eyes told you enough.

And you had a good idea for a punishment that wouldn’t go to waste.

“Hmm, too bad then. All I want is you..” you muttered softly after kissing the corner of his lips, slightly dry yet very warm. Joel smiled into your mouth, momentarily forgetting where he was when the burning feeling of alcohol made him groan loudly.

“You are a minx, you know that*”

“No, I’m not. I needed to punish you and what best way then pouring the alcohol that suddenly was in my hands?” you asked innocently, with Joel giving you his famous dead-pan look when Elli elet out a groan from the corner, Addy cooing softly.

“Oh God, they are being lovey-dovey, mushy-goosey again…”

“Don’t act like you don’t like it, Ellie”

“Well… It would be better if they didn’t-“

“Excuse me but Is someone gonna explain how all these people except me and Sam kow each other in this room?”

Three mixed voices made both you and Joel look up startled, Joel silently flushing under Addy and Ellie’s stare while you eyes squinted at Henry and Sam. You didn’t feel much about the kid, except wanting to protect him.

But this Henry… He seemed somewhat familiar to you.

And if there was one thing you knew… It was that if you felt like you knew someone, you always had to be on guard.

[likeabxrdinflight]

I don't quite know what to do with the changes happening at my old church.

For context I still have connections within this community- for better or worse I was raised in a small town with one catholic church and one catholic school, so I knew all the regulars reasonably well. And if I didn't know them personally, I at least knew of them. So it's been impossible to totally cut myself off from that orbit. My best friend's parents are still involved, a lot of my old classmates that I'm Facebook friends with are still involved, one of my parents neighbors are still involved, and I'm still good friends with one of my former teachers, so it's like. Even though I've cut off most of the family I haven't cut off all of them, if that makes any sense. This isn't like being an ex jehovah's witness or ex fundamentalist evangelical where leaving the religion means leaving behind the entire community.

Anyways. This church was always problematic. This church was always political. I grew up under the thumb of catholic dogma. One of my teachers was a bit of an extremist. Like...this place had problems. It caused harm to me and there's a reason I left it. I want to make that clear.

But my god it's getting so much worse lately. The diocese brought in this new young guy to be the parish priest when the old one left and he is just...I mean I haven't met him myself and frankly I hope I never do, but from what I hear he's just...terrible. and even from my distanced position I can see the impact he's had on the place.

For example, the social media pages are much more active now with a younger person heading them, but not in a good way. It's being used to spread further propaganda- and much of it is political. There is an obvious conservatism to it now that wasn't the case before. The church I remember was much more politically neutral. Yes it had certain moral positions, typically around abortion, but it certainly never told parishioners how to vote. None of the priests I grew up with would have dared. Now though? The damn Facebook page outright says what way to vote. This new priest wrote an article in the local newspaper explaining why he was voting the way he was in a recent special election- presumably knowing that was going to influence people.

This kind of thing never happened when I was a kid.

That's not even getting into the way he's fucking up the school itself- implementing some gross catechesis of the good shepherd program and removing all aspects of secular education. Again, this is a school that objectively hurt me. Religion was baked into it, indoctrination was already happening and it was quite robust. But the education itself was, broadly, a good one. But that wasn't good enough for this guy, I guess. So now they're dialing the religious side of it up to an 11 and killing the actual academic experience in the process by removing secular educational standards.

It's like....this new priest is taking something that was already pretty bad and making it so much worse. And sure, I'm on record as saying I hoped the school got what was coming to it...but not like this. Not by ripping apart the aspects that were decent and sinking further into right wing christofacism. Not by sacrificing kids' education on the alter of indoctrinating them even further. I wanted the school to eventually close because not enough people were willing to subject their kids to a religious education. I didn't want this.

...and I haven't gotten into the weird split in the community now between the people who are offended by this new priests implication that they weren't already doing catholicism right vs the people who are on board with his bullshit. I'm not really on either side there but if it means ousting this dude from the parish I will gladly support the people who are against him. If it means restoring the school and the church to the previous status quo rather than let it deteriote into...this...I'd set aside all my scruples with the church as it was. If it means that kids only have to deal with the shit I dealt with and not something fundamentally worse...I mean, lesser of two evils right?

I dunno...I'm feeling a lot of things about it and about the way this priest is behaving.

[toastingpencils37]

In my AU, I want to eventually have a conversation between Sora & Jes about being cyborgs, & sleeping, or rather not sleeping with their prosthetic on. Because they're both cyborgs. (I'm a cyborg Sora truther)

(The funny part is that they're both cyborgs with robotic left arms. I actually made Jes a cyborg with her left arm robotic prior to knowing about the existence of Sora whatsoever)

However, the conversation starts because at some point, Sora's going to say she's off to bed, take her arm off, & leave. This causes Jes confusion, because for someone who has a dangerous job, she'd expect Sora to be more cautious & have her arm on at all times, even while sleeping, despite it not being comfortable.

So, later they have a conversation, with Sora telling Jes that she feels safe enough at the monastery to take off her arm while sleeping, because it now feels like home.

However, this still confuses Jes, because even at home, she sleeps with her prosthetic arm on, due to the fact that as a child, her mother (an abusive ass bitch) would forcefully wake her up in the middle of the night to train. (& for Jes, this training would be painful, basically being her having to get very painful wounds to "build up her pain tolerance") And due to how anxious & stressed she'd get, she'd fumble trying to put on her arm, taking more time (which would make training worse for her since she was late). And even having an on/off switch would be hard, because due to her job having that switch in an obvious space would be dangerous (not so much to her as to the peope she's protecting), making her have to have it in a place that's harder to reach. This would also cause an issue getting up because she'd have to fumble to even find & turn on said switch.

However, she also needs to let her prosthetic arm rest so that it doesn't get overworked. So, as a "solution", she decided to instead use her water powers to replicate her arm, & swap out her prosthetic every night, while still sleeping with it.

Buuut, this still leaves the issue of her port not getting to rest. And even though it technically doesn't have to rest all that often due (being able to go months without rest) to her power source being green aquariume (yes, the "e" at the end is deliberate. I'll go into why I named it that in another post), it still isn't the best idea to always be using it. But, Jes is shown to not have a solution for this, except only taking her arm off when it's completely necessary & hoping that it gives her port enough "down time". Which isn't a good idea, but based on her childhood, is to be expected.

After the conversation, Jes understands where Sora is coming from, & actually contemplates doing what Sora does (which is the thing she actually should be doing for comfort & prosthetic/port resting reasons). Buuut, she doesn't, because with someone with her childhood, it's honestly going to take a while for her to get comfortable with doing something like that. And to her, sleeping with only one arm is actually less comfortable than the way she normally sleeps due to having to sleep like that for years.

(Also, she's not going to realize her mom's (& also her dad & stepmom) an abusive fuck, due to thinking that's just normal. She won't realize until much later in the AU, & she'll mainly find this out due to Maya & Wu's mannerisms with parental & training behaviors, which are direct contrasts with that of her parents)

[lollytea]

Currently possessed by the (probably post-canon?) scenario of willow (with Amity's encouragement, cause despite everything she has faith in her dad) going up to alador and asking for an apology for what happened between amity and willow when they were kids. Because-If we're to believe Amity's memory in Understanding Willow- while he may not have said the actual words, he clearly supported odalia's order for amity to cut ties with willow. I wouldn't be surprised if back then he thought he was just "doing what's best for his daughter", making sure she had friends that ensured her a good place in the social hiarchy, saving her trouble- convenience/practicality over feelings, which feels somewhat inline with how alador behaved towards his kids pre CotH.

Just. How would that even go??? Does alador even remember?? Cause neither blight parent acknowledged her during escaping expulsion- and I honestly wouldn't be surprised if neither of them remembered the drama at Amity's birthday. An axe forgets, but a tree remembers and all that. It'd probably be sooo messy but also so cathartic now that I think about it. An important step in alador being a better dad, him learning to apologize not just to his kids, but also to the people important to his kids that he also hurt (or at least, aided and abetted in hurting). Anyway. Just wanted to drop this here for the other willow enjoyers to see, come rotate this idea in your minds with me at high velocity

Ohhhhh this is really interesting!! The sort of stuff that would make a really cool fic. Personally not the kind of thing I'd know how to tackle because I honestly have no idea. The Blight Family, and by extension the Amity and Willow storyline were admittedly a little sloppily written back in season 1. Which makes things a little tricky to analyse sometimes.

I think its safe to assume that this angle of Alador's charactization (A father who was more emotionally unavailable than actively abusive who only bent to his wife's orders because she threatened to be even worse to the kids if he didn't) was not planned from the beginning.

Like from the scene of him in Understanding Willow, it's obvious that he was originally intended to be on equal standing with Odalia, and just as abusive. Of course we can definitely come up with headcanons as to why he acted as he did just for it to make more sense to us. (My own is that he didn't actually say anything in that moment. He just stood there and because he didn't do anything to intervene, this left an impact on Amity’s memories. He didn't do anything to help so he might as well have been a part of the problem.) But ultimately there's no deep canonical explanation for it, other than the crew just hadn't bothered to characterize him at this stage in production.

My own personal thoughts on it as that Willow isn't really looking for an apology from Alador Blight. In all these years, all of her resentment was pinned on Amity. She loved Amity, which was why her actions hurt Willow so deeply. I always saw Understanding Willow as an episode about closure, specifically about that moment at the birthday party. Like all Willow really wanted to know was that it wasn't Amity's fault, that she never hated her, and she really couldn't care less over the blame being on the Blights instead. Willow doesn't give a fuck about the Blights. She seems pretty resigned to the fact that they suck and doesn't expect anything better from them. So while Willow is not entirely healed from everything she went through afterwards, she's finally let go off all the pain of that memory specifically.

So I don't figure an apology from Alador would be a BIG moment, cause I just see Willow as being mostly over it by now. She's focusing on the future.

But still. Its gotta come up at least once, right? Willow and Amity are slowly but surely becoming close friends again so I assume Alador is gonna be seeing a lot of her. I can imagine him squinting at her for several seconds like "you look familiar."

Willow probably wouldn't want to get into All That so she'd probably just be like "yeah I played with Amity when we were kids."

But AMITY I could absolutely see being like "yeah and there's a reason you haven't seen her in a while, dad."

Which would lead to a very awkward conversation in which Alador's memory is jogged of Odalia complaining about that little girl she didn't want their daughter playing with. And he has a moment where he's like. Holy shit. No matter how much of a hand Alador had in severing the girls' friendship, he absolutely allowed it to happen, which was detrimental not only to his daughter's mental health but another innocent little girl who suffered the consequences for years afterwards.

Alador would absolutely apologize to Willow without being prompted to. It's something he knows he can't make right but it's the only thing he can do. Willow is kinda thrown off guard because she didn't ask for an apology, she didn't expect an apology, she didn't even think she wanted an apology. But she has this moment where its like. He was a part of the reason. He was to blame. Its a kind of closure she didn't know she was looking for. But now that she has it, she finds she appreciates it. Its not automatic forgiveness though. But yknow. "Its a start."

[sacaeblade]

[ 🐺 ] does your muse like solitude? do they prefer it to being around others? how easily does your muse get lonely?

prompts i'd like to receive

oh i see we are getting into it today huh

tl;dr lyn is so fucking lonely but she tries to hide it from literally everyone

There is a specific moment in Lyn's supports with Lianna in Fire Emblem Warriors that drives me absolutely up the wall. Just makes me (cat bite gif).

Lianna: Lyn, is it true that you came to this world all by yourself? You must've been very lonely before you met up with us. Lyn: Oh, you don't have to worry about me! I'm used to being alone. That's how I lived back on the plains.

Because this is just patently untrue? Hello? Girl stop lying.

To get into why this is just completely untrue, let's talk about fe7. Before they were massacred, Lyn was raised in the Lorca tribe for all 16/18 years (depending on the translation) years of her life. Though she only ever talks about her parents in regards to her early life, we have to remember that she was raised in a community. Yes, the Lorca were nomadic, but more importantly, they traveled together. Lyn was only alone for a total of six months before meeting Mark and she responds like this when asking Mark to travel with her:

Lyn: ...But I’m so young, and our people were old-fashioned. They wouldn’t follow a woman. No one would follow me. Sniff… I’m sorry. I’ve been alone for so long… No. No more. I will shed no more tears. …………

After losing not only her parents, but to have the other survivors refuse to follow her...For the first time in her life, Lyn was completely and utterly alone. At this point in time, Florina (we'll come back to her.) is still training in Illia (though she seeks out Lyn when she hears that she has left Sacae), so Lyn latches onto Mark like they're a life preserver and she's been treading water in the middle of the ocean. She's been so unbearably lonely.

In the Smash Brethren dlc in Awakening, if the player answers that Lyn's story sounds familiar, she is absolutely ecstatic that ""Mark"" still remembers her.

Lyn: Really? Then you remember! It's really you! Oh...I'm so happy! I thought... I thought we'd never met again. ...I'm sorry. I don't mean to cry. I'm just...overwhelmed. Give me a moment... ...Thank you. I feel better. Listen. Come back to Sacae with me! Can you just picture the others' face's?

I could write a whole other post about her relationship with chronic ghoster Mark but I'll keep it brief for now because there's a lot I need to touch on here.

Very quickly after meeting Mark, Lyn then meets Kent (we'll come back to him.) and Sain and learns that she isn't completely alone in the world-- she has a grandfather. She still has family. (THERE'S ALSO LUNGREN BUT HE ACTIVELY TRIED TO KILL HER AND THAT'S A WHOLE OTHER CAN OF WORMS LMFAO) Her goal shifts from avenging her parents to meeting and protecting her grandfather.

Sain: “Lady Lyndis! Do you honestly plan on remaining here? Tell me truly!”

Lyn: “Yes, until my grandfather is well. I can’t leave him now. I won’t.”

Kent: “The physician says that Lord Hausen looks like a new man. It’s like he was never ill. And it’s all thanks to you, milady.”

Lyn: “He’s the only family I have left. I want him to have a long life.”

Lyn struggles in Caelin with her newfound noble status and the way it isolates her in a different way. Her best friend treats her differently. She feels that she cannot relate to any of the other noble ladies. Even if they don't say it out loud, the other nobles look down on her for her Sacaen heritage. Her heart aches to return to the plains, but her grandfather is her last living family member. Even if she struggles, it's a struggle she's willing to put up with for the sake of family.

Even after Lord Hausen passes, Lyn brings whoever she has a paired ending with (with the exception of Eliwood and Hector, for obvious FE6 related reasons. I have Thoughts about what these endings in particular mean for Lyn re:fe6 but those are thoughts for another day) back to Sacae with her. Lyn only remained in Caelin for Lord Hausen, so she feels no reason to stay if he's gone. But even when she returns to the plains, she doesn't want to be alone again.

So let's talk about Lyn's paired ending supports, shall we?

Florina

Lyn's supports with Florina are probably the most direct about how lonely she is, which makes sense! Florina is her best friend! Florina has known her long enough to tell that the perceived distance between the two now that Lyn is nobility is hurting her.

Florina: Please, don't hide it even from me! You want to return to the plains, don't you, Lyn? I know how you used to leave the castle and gaze out from the hill at Caelin. Lyn: It's just... It doesn't seem fair. I know... With my grandfather in his condition, I'm the only one to watch over the castle... Florina: You shouldn't force yourself, though. I'm sure that Lord Hausen would understand... Living on the plains just seems right for you, Lyn. Lyn: Florina... Hmm, guess what? You stopped calling me "Lyndis"... And you're speaking much more frankly now. Florina: Ah! I-I apologize! I'm such a scatterbrain, I... Lyn: Please, Florina-- Don't... I, too, thought it was the way we had to be with each other. But I was wrong-- I can't take it anymore. I've been so lonely all this time. Leaving the plains... And you, my best friend treating me like a noble stranger. What does rank and birth have to do with anything? I'm still myself, and you're still you! Please, talk to me normally, like you always used to.

This is the most direct Lyn ever gets about her feelings and it's all downhill from here, folks.

Rath

Now, Rath is in a unique spot as far as Lyn's supports go. Not only is Rath a fellow plainsdweller (in his own words), but if there's anyone who understands having their entire community ripped away from them like Lyn does, it's Rath. Lyn had her tribe massacred and the survivors refused to follow her, while Rath was forced to leave his tribe due to a bad omen. Being the chieftain's child wasn't enough for either of them to receive their tribe's support.

Rath: At the time I was less than four, without even the means to survive. I wandered, not knowing right from left, ...The people of other tribes laughed and ridiculed me. Lyn: ... ... Rath: I do not feel the loneliness now as I did then... but sometimes, I remember. I have never felt so alone. Lyn: I see... That makes sense. When I first met you, I felt like we had something in common... Maybe it was because we shared the experience of being alone.

And earlier in their supports, Lyn confesses to being afraid of losing the last family member she has left, though she quickly tries to change the topic.

Lyn: I was thinking of my grandfather... He was still...asleep... when I left Caelin. Just when it seemed he was getting better... Why... Why must these things happen to me? ...I don't want to lose him. Not...another one. Rath: ... ... Lyn: Well. Enough of dark thoughts! Why...Why don't you tell me a bit about yourself, Rath?

You are not convincing anyone that you're okay with the situation, but nice try! You are extremely lucky that Rath just moves on with the conversation here, Lyn.

Kent

Oh, Kent. Where to even begin. Their entire support line is based around one singular question:

Lyn: Why do you stay with me, by my side? Is it because I am granddaughter to the lord of Caelin Castle?

When Lyn asks Kent why he stays at her side, it's a question of "will you only follow me if i am Lady Lyndis?". The Lorca survivors didn't follow her because she's a girl, but will Kent only follow her because she's a noble lady? Is his support conditional? When she inevitably returns to Sacae, will that connection be gone? What happens when her grandfather dies?

Kent feels the need to emphasize Lyn's status as a means to create emotional distance. He intentionally tries to draw a line for himself to not seek a personal connection with Lyn, who wants a personal connection as Lyn, not Lady Lyndis. We already know from Lyn's supports with Florina that Lyn finds her rank incredibly isolating. Lyn doesn't know how to act like the noble lady that she thinks Kent wants her to be and she doesn't know how long he will remain at her side, knowing that she does not intend to remain in Caelin forever. Remember, she only intended to stay in Caelin until Lord Hausen recovered and the plan was always to return to Sacae eventually.

What Lyn wants is for Kent to stay at her side because she's Lyn (which is ultimately what Kent also wants), but both of them are fucking clowns who refuse to communicate.

Kent: Yes... I apologize for my imprudence. Still... How could I stand before Lord Hausen should anything befall Lady Lyndis? Lyn: Kent... Just because my grandfather is who he is, doesn't mean you should worry about me overmuch. I can do just fine on my own. Like I did on the plains...

girl you are lying!!!!!!!! but florina is literally the only one who will call you out on it so you get away with it!!!! jesucristo!!!!!!!

Eliwood/Hector

Sorry kings I'm making you share a section because this is already getting kind of horrifyingly long.

Anyway, this section is less about their actual supports (although I do think her support with Eliwood provides insight into just how much her status/being in Caelin stresses her out) and more about their general relationship. I don't need to bring out the sources for you to know that the RGB lords are friends. That much is obvious.

But it's...different.

Lyn will never have the relationship with Eliwood and Hector that they have with each other and that frustrates her. It's not just that she hasn't known them as long as they've known each other-- their relationship will always be colored by the fact that she's a woman.

......Which is also a post for another day and this is already way too long!

i am very normal about lady lyndis of caelin

[prettyboybuckley]

Fuck it Friday

tagged by @swiftiediaz 💕 Sooooo since I finished the sequel to my high on you fic, I figured I'd give you all a little something to tide you over until I manage to edit the thing and it's ready for posting. The "fuck it" part is how long of a snippet you're getting lol 🥰

He lets himself into the house with his key and immediately hears the raised voices coming from the kitchen, only slightly muffled by the closed door. For a moment, Buck stands frozen in place, picking up bits and pieces of the conversation.

Ramon's voice raises above it all, but Eddie's is close behind in volume, Helena only coming in here and there. He closes the front door quietly, tiptoeing up the stairs and cringing when he forgets about the creaky step two-thirds of the way up.

Sophia's door is closed as well and he knocks before entering anyway. She isn't wearing her headphones like he expected but from the look on her face, he can see that she isn't enjoying what is going on downstairs. 

"Hey," he says, toeing off his sneakers and dropping down next to her on the bed, forcing Sophia to scoot over and make space for him. "Everything okay?"

"They've been going at it for ages now," she replies with a sigh, resting her head against the wall before tilting it to look at him. "I was there at first, but I left when it kind of... escalated."

As often as he is here, over the past few years Buck has witnessed the occasional altercation between one of the siblings and their parents or between the siblings themselves. This is definitely one of the more intense kind.

"What's it about?"

She shrugs. 

"Something about putting in more effort to build a future or something. They aren't happy he still hasn't found a job, which is bullshit because he's been trying and we all know that he's perfectly capable. Those recruiters are just bullshit," she says. 

"That doesn't sounds like something they'd get into such a screaming match over."

Sophia chuckles humorlessly, shaking her head, and she rubs a hand down her face. 

"No, no it's not. Mom said something about a wife and kids or something, and Eddie kind of dropped a bomb."

Buck's heartbeat immediately starts rising, and he hopes that he isn't too obvious when he asks: "What kind of bomb?"

"Apparently he's been dating some guy," Sophia replies. "I don't know, he was pretty vague about it, but as much as I think it was to rile them up, I'm pretty sure it's true."

"Didn't think your parents would make such a big deal out of something like that."

Sure, the Diazes are Catholics, and especially Ramon is a little old-fashioned, but they never behaved any differently after finding out about Buck's bisexuality. Helena had even asked if his parents knew and said that if it ever became a problem, he would always be welcome. 

Buck knew that Eddie wasn't out to his family, of course, but it always felt like that was rather because he didn't see the point than that he was actively hiding. 

"I don't think it's about him being gay - or bi, I guess?" Sophia muses. "I mean, you know how much mom wants grandkids, but... I don't know, I think it was more the heat of the moment that made it a problem, and the idea that he's been hiding it all this time?"

Honesty is important in the Diaz household, Buck knows that much. Always has been. The "why didn't you tell us sooner" question would have been asked regardless of the situation, and this was not the optimal scenario.

"How do you feel about it?" he asks, tone careful because he isn't sure what to expect. 

Another shrug from Sophia. "I mean, he's my big brother. Drives me crazy sometimes, but I love him. Doesn't matter much if he dates a guy or a girl, I just want him to be happy."

Downstairs a door slams, followed by the front door, and they both flinch. The rumbling sound of Eddie's car starting in the driveway makes it all the way up to Sophia's room and Buck holds his breath as they listen to it drive away. 

The doors slam another time, and Buck has a feeling that it's Ramon leaving this time. 

tagging @holdmygum @rogerzsteven @monsterrae1 @buddierights @elvensorceress @princessfbi @honestlydarkprincess @bigfootsmom @brassm @alyxmastershipper

[howboutthatbreadtho]

Gotta say, even though I'm luckily no longer living with my dad his obvious disdain for anything he either doesn't like or understand and the combination of looking for me to be his Little Him makes me want to say some really mean shit about how I'm happy that I grew out of being an inconsiderate, annoying, ableist pedant that took being an Anarchist as "his thing" so pretends that doing antifascist work irl since 2016 is nothing compared to being a programmer on Reddit that listens to Richard Wolff

Last time I visited he told a "funny anecdote" about an abusive ex who stalked his partner trying to get away from him to her jiu-jutsu gym and when my mom and I were like "hey it feels super fucking weird that your gym is allowing one of the few non-male members to feel unsafe because you're getting off on the fact that he bought a fake belt and sucks at the martial art so you can beat him easily when you're rolling" and he was like 'oh I don't get why you're mad at me for telling a story' as if it's incomprehensible that I had objections to the handling of the situation.

It's not a big leap to see that he thinks (but doesn't materially) understand/respect people who aren't cis men, but with his supposed egalitarian radical cred he can't understand that. Along with so many other aspects of actually living the reality of trying to build a non-hierarchical society, he can't wrap his head around why I drove myself into the ground picking up the slack on household maintenance tasks (dishes, laundry, folding/sorting, pest control wrt. food sources for bugs being cleaned up, sweeping, wiping down the kitchen, etc.) when it took my mom getting *literally fucking paralyzed with a neurological disorder* to do any daily household tasks with any regularity and talking shit about me for "being so hard on my siblings" when I had to pick up their slack every couple days without fail.

Really glad that he constantly belittles me while misgendering me, my long-term partner, and my younger sibling's partner, combined with my mother who built her identity around being "gay and trans friendly" but makes every conversation I start about how it feels shitty that my dad still conceives of trans people as their agab even if he hadn't met them before they came out as just "having a hard time like I am, why do you have to be so difficult to talk to."

[takaraphoenix]

Question: What’s your take on “Lies My Parents Told Me?” Specifically, on everything that happens between Spike, Robin, Giles, and Buffy? Honestly I feel like Robin and Spike both had valid perspectives. Buffy was right, it wasn’t the time for vendettas, and Spike wasn’t the same person anymore who killed Nikki all those years ago. However, if I were Robin I would also have a very difficult time getting past someone killing my mother, even if they were a soulless monster back then and very much aren’t anymore, and even if that mother was the Slayer and knew what she was getting into. I don’t really agree with Giles’s behaviour on any front, however.

Oh, that is such a tough one.

I love Robin a lot, which does sound contradictory considering he would like to see my fave dead. But he? He is absolutely valid in wanting that. Because, as you said, yeah she was a Slayer, she knew what she signed up for and Spike was a vampire and basically killed the one who hunted him so it was a kill or be killed situation for the both of them, but Robin still lost his mom in the process.

I'm absolutely obsessed with Buffy in that episode because quite frankly, that was for me personally, the most obvious proof of her love for Spike. He'd have let Spike kill Robin. That's just. That's levels of unhinged and the way she delivers. This is a woman in love and it has never been broadcasted more obviously than in this episode and that's one of the things that makes this an episode that I love very, very much.

I also think it's an interesting insight into Spike. Because he does understand where Robin is coming from, but he also knows that he's not the same person he was when he killed Nikki. And, quite frankly, considering all the atrocities Angel has committed without a soul that were forgiven? I too would expect a bit more forgiveness from the Scoobies than Spike was getting - and I mean, on the overall, not Robin specific here. I think that Spike did understand why Robin was doing what he was doing, but also... Spike had worked too hard to be good to let himself be killed now, so for the second time he finds himself in a kill or be killed situation with a Wood, even if this one is different in many aspects.

Giles is... Giles is complicated. I love Giles deeply, I love how much he loves Buffy. And I usually love that he loves Buffy like a daughter. But at times - and this is one such time - that love for Buffy conflicts with the fact that he is her Watcher. I think that most problems in their dynamic and most bullshit that Giles pulls (like when he left the fucking country while Buffy was dealing with her trauma) root in this conflict of interests.

As her Watcher, he should train her and support her, but as her father figure he wants to shield her and protect her. That's why he left, because he mistook his being there as a supportive father figure for him being too fatherly invested and not Watcher enough - even though that was not the case; Buffy needed him then and he should not have left, but he misread his own actions in that case.

And as her Watcher, he ought to teach her to be independent, to be strong both physically and head-strong, but as her father, he patronizes her. This episode? This episode was him being patronizing.

He thought that she was biased about Spike due to her romantic feelings for him. While in reality, he was the one biased. I'd trace this one back to Angel; Angel was a souled vampire that Buffy loved and they let him in and then he lost his soul and killed the only woman Giles was ever shown to love. I think that festered a particular dislike for souled vampires and a distrust and the fact that Buffy falls for one again isn't helping. So when Robin comes to Giles, because he lost his mother, a woman he loved, to this vampire, I think that Giles is reminded of the whole Angel-Angelus-Jenny situation and that's why he is helping Robin, blinded by his own grief, instead of thinking logically about the asset that Spike definitely is in this fight against evil.

Because yes, Buffy is right, this isn't the time for revenge, this is the time of dwindling allies and needing to fight side by side. A prioritization that Giles had made once before, with Angel as an asset, and it had cost him Jenny, so he actually let his own personal feelings get in the way of making the more logical choice here.

But his fatherly nature lets him read the situation as Buffy being the naive child, the daughter rebelling and dating a bad boy. Yes, Buffy's personal feelings for Spike factor into her decision too, there is no denying that, but having Spike on the team was unquestionably an asset during this fight.

Sometimes, Giles just... doesn't see Buffy. He still sees that sixteen year old girl, pouting in the library while wearing a cheerleader outfit because she wants to have normal teenage girl fun. He doesn't see the leader and powerhouse that Buffy has become.