#fuck qui-gon jinn

[lilbuddybd]

Proud Qui-Gon Jinn hater 😊

[jedi-starbird]

Qui-Gon: Remember padawan, what's rule number one?

Obi-Wan: Deny. Deny. Deny.

Qui-Gon: Ah no, the other one.

Obi-Wan: No matter what, commit to the bit.

Qui-Gon, handing Obi-Wan a fake mustache and a harpoon: Exactly! Now let's go.

[apath3t1c-pr1nc3]

I'm literally garbage at anything and everything that has to do with art please don't mind the hair and clothes I'm still learning 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

jailed maul

[charmwasjess]

The “What if Dooku Trains Obi-Wan instead of Qui-Gon AU” is genuinely precious to me and I think they would thrive. 

Still, can you imagine how much initial adjustment it take be for Obi-Wan “Qui-Gon Isn’t Following The Rules and It’s Giving Me a Stomach Ache” Kenobi to be trained by the guy Qui-Gon learned that from? 

A typical Master Dooku mission canon example from Dooku: Jedi Lost

Dooku: the mission is called Space Nascar and we have to do a shot everytime someone pisses me off Dooku: see the Council assigns me these sorts of elbow-rubbing rich people event missions because of my “good” “stable” personality Dooku: for example I’ve almost gotten in two separate fights and we’ve been here five minutes Dooku: Now let’s go steal a speeder, I just Force-threw a cop

Qui-Gon is rattled by this. QUI-GON JINN. 

On the other hand, Obi-Wan’s existing partnerships prove he’s able to thrive under chaos. Dooku, for all his faults, seems to have the singular ability as a Master to produce incredibly self-confident students. He’s repeatedly established as someone who genuinely loves teaching and is a natural at it, who is at their best when part of a Master Padawan partnership - which seemed to be a struggle for Qui-Gon. Ultimately he and Obi-Wan built a loving, successful partnership, but in every timeline it seems to have been initially rocky and took years to flourish. The difference in Obi-Wan having a Master who is tremendously engaged and invested in him from the get-go, but also deeply chaotic? 

Makashi Chaos Monster Obi-Wan. Oh no, he’s a duelist just like his dad and bitchier than ever! The part of him that is inclined to say things like “Sith Lords are our Specialty” is given room to grow and thrive. His monologues increase tenfold and he has a lightsaber form where they’re built right in. The quips! The amount of leaving a conversation that’s going badly by jumping out a window (pulling a Dooku)!  

It’s so beautiful. 🥲

[tossawary]

I said to myself, "I think I will read the 'Jedi Apprentice' books (Obi-Wan Kenobi's padawan years) for the first time. I'm in a 'Star Wars' mood and these are relatively short kiddo books; I can probably go through 'em in less than a week. I'm spoiled for more than a few things already, I know that a lot of people come out of this series wanting to strangle Qui-Gon Jinn with their bare hands for good reason, so I will brace myself. These books are for children and are purposefully structured in such a way to push the adults to the background and let the child be the hero, to reflect the many difficulties of childhood (most of which involve mistakes or failures or cruelty by adults around them), and so will depict the Jedi Order as flawed in many ways; they will also depict the Jedi Order as flawed because it IS flawed, by design of the prequels generally, even as most individual Jedi mean well. There will also be some unintentional issues in the Jedi Order due to your average kids space opera author (and their editors) not being an expert in, like, childhood development, education, and trauma, or the logistics of complex interstellar organizations and their intersections and so on. I'm not an expert in anything either. I respect these limits. I am ready to read this fun space adventure book series intended for children."

I am currently halfway into the first book and I keep having to take long breaks (I will adjust, it will just take a little time and a forceful push over this initial hill) because my adult perspective brain keeps reflexively screaming, "AAAAAHHH! AAAAAHHH! AAAAAHHH! Someone do better by this poor child who is Doing His Best right fucking now, please, please, please!!!" I can't make a "I've only had Obi-Wan for a few chapters, but if anything happens to him..." statement, because the main situation of Obi-Wan Kenobi's entire fucking life is "And Then Things Happened To Him".

[aristotels]

DID THIS APP JUST DIAGNOSE LIBYA, THE STATE OF LIBYA, AN ENTIRE COUNTRY IN NORTH AFRICA, WITH MBTI ENFP TYPE PERSONALITY

[tarabyte3]

Do you see my vision?! Because I don't know what this is, but it sure does intrigue me.

But for real: they're both large, gentle, older men with low smooth voices, long hair they wear in the same style, a sarcastic sense of humor, and they both have an affinity for life and plants (druid vs the Living Force). Neither enjoys leading and they just want to fuck off and go where nature/the force takes them. They're both guardians. We associate both of them with tea. They both meditate! Qui-Gon's lightsaber is green!! The wrinkles!!! Please tell me you see it??!?!! Anyone??

...even their discourse is similar 😇😈😘

[twilightofthe]

aight so satine got impaled by lightsaber through the upper chest and died immediately

sabine got impaled by lightsaber through the upper chest and was just fine lmao

i guess sabine just won the mando name war--

wait a fuck lightsaber thru the chest insta-killed qui gon

actually i think i know the true answer

lightsabers through the chest don't actually kill anyone, it's being in proximity to obi wan kenobi that does it

[twinterrors29]

Arla Fett is rescued from a Death Watch transport by a tiny Padawan Kenobi and adopts him on the spot, unilaterally deciding that she will be accompanying her boi on all missions in order to loom ominously behind him during negotiations and eliminate any perceived threats to his safety (and happiness) with prejudice

she ignores Qui-Gon Jinn's existence entirely

[jaguarys]

The absolute humiliation that comes with one of your favorite Star Wars characters being Dooku. Yeah sure man. Yeah my favorite morally gray ex-Jedi is named fucking Dooku. Sure. My other favorite Jedi is Penis Cockus

[jedi-starbird]

The JA books and subsequent woobification of padawan Obi-Wan have people overlooking a key fact, which is the innate ability of all 14 yr olds to immediately lock onto your deepest insecurities and fucking eviscerate you. You look at TCW Obi-Wan's bitchiness and tell me he did not have this ability but dialled up to 11 cause he's also a psychic force-sensitive.

I fully believe padawan Obi-Wan was terrorising Qui-Gon, the reason that man's always running ahead and leaving his padawan behind is because he's avoiding having to explain his life choices to the galaxy's most judgemental teenager. Initiate Obi-Wan is aggressive, padawan Obi-Wan is passive-aggressive.

[cunning-and-cool]

wanted to share this peak interaction

[charmwasjess]

I legitimately didn't remember how fucking batshit funny some of the Dooku sections in Claudia Gray's Master and Apprentice were. Qui-Gon's remembering his first mission with Dooku in flashback: okay, seems straightforward enough. They land in an ongoing crisis in a battle zone, Dooku goes to talk to the generals. Then, next scene, we smashcut directly to:

"Don't be afraid." Dooku's voice rang out over even the howling winds of Shurrapak. Qui-Gon clung to the carbon-fibre-rope riggings of the Shurrapakan ship, salt spray stinging his face and hands as they rounded the cape to approach the battle from an angle the enemy wouldn't expect. "They're shielded against skycraft and energy weapons. Not against seafaring vessels!" He made this sound majestic, courageous, brilliant -- nothing like the last-minute, last-ditch attempt it really was. Qui-Gon took a deep breath and stared up at the stars. Big mistake. The stars weren't moving and his stomach was, and the queasiness that swept through him made him feel weak.

Dooku has been on this planet for less than 24 hours. There are already other Jedi there ahead of him with established generals working on the battle plans, which according to the scene just before this, are complete enough that its conceivable Dooku and Qui-Gon will miss the action. So naturally, the plan he then comes up with is "ABANDON ALL OTHER PLANS, WE ATTACK THE FORTIFIED BATTLEFIELD WITH OLD TIMEY ROPE-RIGGED SAILING SHIPS!"

And at his side?? A seasick twelve year old who has never left the Temple or seen battle!!! Who can't swim! And backing them up?? Rael fucking Averross, who Dooku was just nagging for being too eager to get into the fighting. Sure, Dooku. That's Rael's problem.

This is the most disaster lineage shit I've ever read. This could absolutely be an Anakin and Obi-Wan Clone Wars arc.

Bonus Rael and Qui-Gon Content, from earlier in the chapter:

"C'mon, then, let's go talk to the generals." Rael made it sound like the most natural thing for a twelve-year-old to do.

Rael, you crazy motherfucker, never change.

[jewishcissiekj]

no but actually I love messing with the disaster lineage. like. yeah, what if Dooku was Obi-Wan's master? What if Qui-Gon was Anakin's master? what if Obi-Wan did end up being Ahsoka's master? let's add on to it. Dooku as Asajj's Master. Asajj as Ahsoka's master. Rael as Obi-Wan's master. Anakin as Rael's padawan. Ky Narec as Dooku's padawan. Sabine as Anakin's padawan. Luke as Qui-Gon's padawan. Yoda as Obi-Wan's master. Ahsoka as Yoda's padawan. feel free to keep adding on to it the possibilities are almost endless

[bolithesenate]

'the printer ran out of ink' meme, but make it Dooku's Padawans

Rael is smol, Qui-Gon is tol and Komari is compensating her lack of complexion with those sweet, sweet chanel boots

[the-boroughh]

i have found it- my favorite bts photo of the prequels✨