#fuck the world and piss f****t duo

[takethispotion]

Kim used his one ampoule for his camera to make this selfie and safe this moment :>

Happy pride disco folks!

[himejoshikomaeda]

hey ana. This is my cat and rat. His name is PISSF****T And this is his best friend FUCK THE WORLD. Say hi or

hi PISS F****T. hi FUCK THE WORLD. you guys sure are one hell of a pair. a dynamic duo. you guys could raise some hell. a couple of beasts like you? you could rip through today's society and culture. let's get this bread

[bonsai62]

I just realized something... I was talking to this person one time on a post before and as I was typing that’s when i realized something:

This is for my fellow Nobamaki & Itafushi shippers! If you guys don’t ship it then it’s okay! This is just like a small analysis in my eyes and the way I read things! I can be wrong or just love reaching on a shit ton of things but this is all for fun and I love sharing with you guys!

Let’s get started! Also, this contains spoilers!

Do you guys realize that Nobamaki/Itafushi actually parallel to each other? Let me explain in shitty English and basic grammar and vocabulary lol:

As I watch and read Jujutsu Kaisen I see a lot of parallels between characters; Gojo with Megumi or Yuji, Getou with Megumi and Yuji or Nobara and Maki... but what I want to parallel between characters is:

Yuji & Maki

1. Raw strength:

Both are hella fucking strong and for people who don’t have cursed techniques, they know how to kick fucking ass. What made me realize that both of them are the same is honestly during the baseball game. I like how we were able to see Maki and Yuji making a home run... okay well Momo fucked up Maki’s groove! Haha! But during the Tokyo vs Kyoto event, Maki and Yuji go ham on their enemy.

Yes, Maki used weapons but still, we can’t deny she got good speed and strength that is similar to Yuji’s. That’s why I wish I can see them both doing a bad ass duo fight together.

I have a small headcanon that Yuji actually enjoys training with Maki the most because I feel like he can understand someone who shares similarity in natural raw strength and speed. And Maki feels the same way and it’s a good excuse to bully Yuji as a joke. I would honestly love to see that! Lol!

2. Their story:

Yuji and Maki honestly have it bad. Yuji loosing his only family member (his abuelo) and becoming Sukuna’s vessel which leads him to a future execution. For Maki is the fact that her family treated her like garbage and having to leave her sister behind and eventually her sister dying.

Both Maki and Yuji share that same pain when it comes to loosing someone. We saw Yuji with Junpei and in the Shibuya Arc with Nanamin and Noabra. Again, Maki the same with Mai.

I think what made me even realize it MORE on how alike and how they parallel with each other are these images right here and how they worded their final saying:

In the Shibuya Arc, Yuji lost it. He lost it with Nanamin and Nobara (but luckily for Todo, he was able to pick his feet back up).

If I was Yuji, I would’ve reacted the same way because imagine having the idea you want to save people no matter what but people keeps dying around you or by you? It’s tiring and I would’ve had a mental breakdown too.

After kicking Mahito’s ass, Yuji says there is no reason anymore. For me, when Maki’s arc came it really reminded me of this:

When Mai died and was killed by her own dad. Her dad took away someone who was precious to Maki no matter how much they didn’t get along. Maki really wanted to create the Zenin clan just for Mai to be safe and free.

Again, same with Maki, I would’ve killed the whole clan too because of how in general the Zenin clan is and how they treat people.

3. Having a “curse”:

Nanamin to Yuji: “You’ve got it from here”

Mai to Maki: “destroy everything”

I don’t necessarily mean a curse curse but it’s more like final words that someone important to them said before dying.

For Yuji, he won’t die because Nanamin believes that Yuji can move forward and save the world.

As for Maki, Mai tells her to destroy everything in order for things to change (I might be wrong). It’s for the Zenin clan to start fresh. That is another way I kinda Interpreted (again, I can be wrong). Maki still isn’t done with destroying things plus she is going to move forward just like Yuji. 

I have a thing that if the higher ups find out about Maki, she would be on the verge of being executed as well. So imagine both Maki and Yuji together being executed.

Now on to the next pair!

Megumi & Nobara

Again, this is just me analyzing. But if you ship Itafushi and Nobamaki, you can actually see another pair that parallels to each other but so far I haven’t seen anyone compare them yet, or it’s just me lol!

1. No rivalries:

I think what I love about these ships so damn much is that there is NO RIVALRIES. Even if you don’t ship them you have to admit it is amazing seeing a m/m or f/f getting along without being damn rivals. I’m glad Gege decided not to do that especially towards the women because it does get so tiring that two women don’t like each other for no damn reason or fighting over the main guy or other main guy. At least when Nobara didn’t like Mai or Momo, she had a reason for not liking them.

And don’t get me started with Megumi and Yuji. I was so happy to finally see two boys be friends instead of the usual, boring rivalries. I’m a be honest with you, I was pretty shocked that Gege was able to make Megumi and Yuji be so close and trust each other as friends. It’s a breath of fresh air for the two ships like omg I was happy not seeing the basic shonen bullshit with the f/f and m/m relationship.

2. Hyping up their pairs:

What I mean by hyping them up, I’m talking about the potential that Maki and Yuji has that Nobara and Megumi sees from them. Nobara since the start acknowledge that Maki is strong and vice versa with Megumi with Yuji. What made me see that Nobara knows that Maki is just amazing and strong was during the baseball when Maki was able to hit almost a home run. Nobara just knew that Maki would be able to make that home run but again Momo ruined her moment! Lol!

As for Megumi, we see while the Tokyo students came up with a strategy to win against the Kyoto students, we see him saying that Yuji can actually beat all their asses without curse energy or energy(one of those). Megumi reassures to people that Yuji can take care of himself and is very useful. Another time Megumi reassured that Yuji is strong is when he was in his bed healing from Hanami’s attacks and when they fought tiger against that one dude (forgot his name)

3. Thinking about them/defending them:

Now… this is really what made me think why Nobara and Megumi parallel with each other

It’s becasue I feel like they’re the ones who are more attached and over protective with Yuji and Maki than how Maki and Yuji are with them.

Now, I’m not saying it’s vice verse with Maki and Yuji. But I’m talking about how Nobara and Megumi expresses it. Let me explain:

While reading and watching JJK, we see how Nobara is with Maki compared to anyone else. And no, I’m not saying that Nobara isn’t overprotective with Megumi or Yuji but just the way she is towards Maki. I would honest love to see how these girls got along and how they became close!

Ever since Maki and Nobara had that deep conversation about why Maki choose to be a sorcerer, that is when I actually started shipping them because of how much respect Nobara has towards Maki and it continues to develop more and more with the two of them. We saw how Nobara got super defensive when she fought against Mai (First time) and started dissing Mai. The second time was with Momo, when she was straight up talking shit about Maki.

I love how when Nobara was talking about Maki and Yuji when fighting against Momo. However, I felt a different vibe towards it as well. What I mean by that is that I got more of a “big sister vibe” toward Yuji and a “I love and respect Maki”

But again, I feel like Nobara had some sort of feeling and attachment toward Maki ever since that fight with Momo and more than anyone else too. However, that is just me though! You do t have to agree with my reaching!

For Megumi and Yuji… First of all… Megumi would not hesitate to pull a trigger if anyone is trying to harm Yuji. What made me see that was against Kamo and the Kyoto students. I swear that day Megumi was literally about to commit murder.

Yeah, Nobara got pissed but she went easy on them, but Megumi didn’t. Oh no, he was about to commit a felony. He wanted all the smoke. He wanted that curse. I swear I even felt how pissed he was. I just feel like every time and separates, shit goes down the wrong way and everything goes wrong.

For me, shipping Megumi and Yuji is a whole ass different post but I won’t do that lmao same with Nobamaki because I can write a whole ass essay why I love how compatibly/perfect for each other lol

Bonus:

But guess what… during the Kyoto and Tokyo event, same shit happened with Megumi like Nobara: Megumi was thinking of Tsumiki and Yuji. And again, I felt like it was still different when Megumi was thinking of Tsumiki and Yuji. I find it crazy how Nobara and Megumi were thinking about two people during that event:

Nobara: Maki & Yuji Megumi: Yuji & Tsumiki

This is my personal favorite image of Nobara and Megumi. *wink wink* it’s basically the same image on who is important to to them.

Again, for Nobara and Yuji’s relationship, I just love the way it is. She gives me “big sister” energy towards Yuji and vice verse. Yuji and Nobara are those chaotic siblings that are the hyper ones while Megumi and Maki are the chill ones that can actually keep them down. There has been one occasion where both Megumi and Maki calms Yuji and Nobara down because of how they were acting and I’m not gonna lie it’s kinda cute lmao:

4. Not leaving them:

During the Shibuya Arc, Maki and Nobara separates but at one panel, Nanamin was telling Nobara and Nitta that he was going to join the Zenins. Nobara quickly picked her head up and suggested that she wanted to join him in order for her to be with Maki (this is a stretch but hey Iike being dramatic) however, Nanamin quickly declines her and tells her that it’s too dangerous. I think she was disappointed that she couldn’t go, but hey, Nanamin is a gentleman and he knows when a child is gonna end up getting hurt. I thought it was cute that she was super worried about Maki and just doesn’t care and wanting to join her.

Now, up the recent chapters, Megumi really shows us that he doesn’t want Yuji leaving him or he wants to stay by his side. Those few chapters really made my heart feel some type of way because it just the way Megumi is for Yuji and I can honestly feel how much he cares for him. As I mentioned above, I feel like everything goes to shit when those two aren’t together and I hope that they develop more and more. There has been two more occasions where Fushi doesn’t want Yuji to be left behind; one during when they were in prison and the second during the fight against Hanamin. The eyes that Fushiguro gives Yuji is full of trauma and careness.

In conclusion, I can’t wait for Nobamaki and Itafushi to develop more and more in future chapters. Again, you guys don’t have to agree with me on this. This is just for fun and sharing is fun too! If I’m overreaching then I’m sorry I just can’t help it :(!!

I hope you guys enjoyed my lil analysis! I’m sorry for the bad writing, I’m not very good at translating my feelings as I’m typing because my brain goes all over the place lol! But please, feel free to comment or give me an ask! I’ll be happy to elaborate more for you guys!

Stay safe y’all! And good night or morning!

[writertothemaximum]

Pairing: Tobio Kageyama x Reader

Summary: Kageyama gets really pent up and gets super nervous trying to ask you to finger him.

Word Count: 3.6k

Warnings/Content: nsfw/smut, Kageyama bottoming, dominant reader, anal fingering, non-gendered reader, extremely fluffy, contains cuddles

Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26867611

It was lunch on a fine day in the middle of fall and you sat down at your classroom table, ready to eat your meal for the afternoon. Kageyama sat across from you, looking somehow more irritated than usual. It was actually quite challenging to figure out when he was bothered by something or just you know, being himself. Only with Kageyama exposure in high quantities would anyone be able to crack the code that is his resting bitchface. After six months of dating, you were one of the rare few who had grown to understand it.

Simply put, crossed legs, a distinct lack of a milkbox, and a lack of will to eat the bento you oh-so-kindly prepared for him this morning meant something was on his mind.

You unwrapped the cloth covering the lunchbox, firmly opened up the lid, snagged your chopsticks, and picked up a big piece of chicken katsu. Flinging it around in the air like imitating an airplane for a child who didn’t want to eat their vegetables, you brought it to Kageyama’s face. “Tobio, say ‘ahhh’,” you said, your voice almost stern.

He poked around, finally making eye contact. Reluctantly, he opened his mouth, “Ahhh—”

The katsu landed safely on his tongue. He took a second to pull the thing out as you slipped the chopsticks out from his lips and he started to chew.

“How is it?” you asked.

He seemed a little bit more pleasant.

“Good,” he said, nodding.

“Good, good,” you said, nodding back, a proud smile slapped across your face.

There was a little snicker from the seat next to you.

“Baby-baby Kageyama getting fed his lunch like a little baby,” Hinata said, snidely. You know he did it just to piss Kageyama off. It always worked. It wasn’t even ever a good one. At least Tsukishima came up with clever insults.

“Shut up, dumbass!” he snapped back at him, looking back at you patiently for another bite. His irritation was back, though, and he stared at you as if his mind only had the capacity for getting you to feed him another bite. Also volleyball. Probably.

“Hey, Hinata-kun, do you want a bite?” you asked, turning your attention to your right.

Hinata’s eyes lit up.

“Of course!” he said, shooting over to you with his mouth wide open.

The look on Kageyama’s face was one of the most precious things in the entire world. He looked hurt, almost, as if offering someone else the bento he didn’t even want to eat was not only detrimental to his well-being but his entire soul. His whole face dripped down in shock and mortification, as if asking why you would do something so cruel to him.

Taking another piece of katsu, you sprung your chopsticks into the air, whipping them around like an airplane mid-flight, sound effects, and all. The tip of the rounded wood swung by Hinata’s mouth, just as Kageyama’s lips parted, ever so slightly.

You rammed the thing into Kageyama’s mouth.

Chopsticks still poking out of his lips, he stood up and pumped both fists into the air proudly, congratulating his victory.

Hinata’s fist smacked lightly on the top of his head.

“Bakegama, you’re the boyfriend, if you didn’t win I’d be concerned,” he said, almost chuckling.

Kageyama sat back down, taking the chopsticks out of his mouth, accepting a pyrrhic victory. Hinata reached over and grabbed a piece of katsu with his fingers and flicked it into his mouth. Kageyama grabbed the box and held it close to his body.

“Hey! That’s my lunch, you idiot!” he shouted at him.

Hinata pouted, mouth still full of flavorful chicken. “What, I was offered it, anyways.”

You laughed at the duo, the bickering so pointless they might as well been having any other ordinary conversation. It was like this every day, but that also meant there was a mundanity to it all. A wonderful sort of peace to the regularity of things. It was really pleasant, you hoped things would stay like this for a long time.

…

In the evening of that same day, you got a text from Kageyama asking if he could come over. A part of you was tempted to say no to see his reaction, but you said yes, as you weren’t really doing anything. It was past dinner and his night practice, anyways, so your parents wouldn’t get too much into your business. And plus, you still wanted to know what was bothering him.

So that’s how you ended up sitting on your bed, flipping through English vocab flashcards, a boy practically twice your size cradled in your lap. He seemed somehow grumpier than normal, if that were at all possible. He clearly wasn’t studying with you, his focus seemed almost completely centered around frowning and ruminating on, well…something.

He really liked to sit with you holding him like this. He told you it felt really comfortable and warm and he wasn’t really sure why he liked it so much. Whenever he came over, especially if he was tired (especially if he lost a match), he’d sit right there on your lap, snuggling in, getting all warm and cozy. He was the little spoon and he indulged in every second of it.

If that Shiratorizawa guy you met was a ‘guess monster’ Kageyama most certainly was a ‘cuddle monster’.

“It’s distracting.”

“What is?” you asked in response, flicking by the word for ‘arbitrary’.

“That,” he reiterated, not really answering anything.

“Tobio, what is that?” you said, emphasizing the word in the same way he did.

Was the English practice bothering him? You knew he was especially bad in that subject, maybe seeing you look over it made him anxious. You had a test tomorrow so you wanted to make sure you were ready, but it was unlike Kageyama to be petty over something like that. He was usually petty over…dumber things.

Kageyama shuffled in your lap, moving his hand down to his groin, adjusting his underwear. There was a soft pat as the elastic moved back into place. He just tucked an erection in his waistband, right? That’s what that was, right?

You snapped the rubber band around your flashcards and with a groan, chucked them across the room, aiming for your backpack, not quite making it.

You grabbed the boy in your arms and flipped the world around, landing his back firmly against the bed. Pinning him down and grabbing his wrists firmly with your fists, you squinted your eyes, as if to appraise this body of his. Your focus led down his T-shirt and to the hem of his shirt, which you grabbed firmly and dragged up his chest.

Yeah, he was hard, alright. The poor thing was poking out the top of his gym shorts.

“Tobio, what was that?” you said again, words pronounced and sharp.

He looked so overwhelmed like this, it was a good look on him, trying to form words with a stuffed brow and puckered lips.

“I-I uh…” he mumbled out, his head rolling to the side.

You frowned.

“What is it? Come on, there’s nothing to be ashamed of,” you said, deciding on a laugh. “Plus, if you’re honest, it’ll help us deal with your little uh, ‘problem’.”

Yeah, whatever it was it was going to be a sex thing. He was still so timid about that kind of stuff, it was really cute. You never pushed him into anything, so he’d make requests every now and then, and it was really funny to see him open up about what he liked. Almost as if you’d hate him for some stupid reason like having natural urges like any other human being would.

He finally mustered up the courage to look you in the eye, his lips puffed out and expression meek and lacking confidence.

“...Can you finger me?”

You blinked a couple times, finally realizing what he had asked.

“You mean like, up your ass?”

He got irritated, easily pushing you back up, detaching himself from being pinned to the bed.

“Yeah! Like up my ass!” He shouted, not really concerned with how his tone of voice sounded. Then, it only came out as mumbles, “It’s not like I’ve been thinking about it for the past week or anything…”

Oh god, he was a giant idiot. Not subtle, Kageyama.

You started chuckling—hard to contain, really.

“Of course I’ll do it. What, did you think I’d laugh at you or something?” you asked.

Kageyama’s face turned sharp red.

“No.”

That was a yes. That was definitely a yes.

Well, you knew by now that Kageyama liked being on the receiving ends of things. A part of you wondered if he’d become a pillow-princess if you spoiled him too much.

“Alright, alright, get back down, let’s get you nice and comfy, shall we?” you said, waving your hands in the air for him to turn around. Reluctantly, he shifted his whole body weight, pulling his knees in and getting on all fours, face firmly against the pillow. A part of you wanted to grab his hair and force his neck up for air, but it wouldn’t be worth it at this point, considering you hadn’t even touched him. You’d get a better reaction if you did it later.

You bent around to the nightstand, fishing around for the stuff you’d need.

“Tobio, do you want me to use a condom, or are just my fingers fine?”

“Just fingers,” you heard, muffled by the pillow. It almost sounded like he was biting it. It was cute to see him preparing himself mentally for this. He seemed really eager and that was endearing.

Nails trimmed? Check. Lube? Check. One Kageyama with a huge ass waving in the air waiting for your fingers to fuck the shit out of him? Check.

Okay, okay, all good to go here.

You pulled yourself back onto the bed and flicked open the bottle’s cap, squirting out a little just to make sure you had enough. Snapping the thing shut again, you set your eyes back on sweet ass.

He was so cute on his hands and knees like this. It gave you a really good view of his calves and thighs, too. After years of jumping, years of running, they really developed into something that could only be described as perfect as a marble statue. When you wrapped your palms around them, you could feel the meat and bone, no trace of fat, each ligament and muscle tissue finely defined. He twitched slightly, muscles tensing as your fingers wrapped around the tissue.

Taking your other hand, you outstretched your index finger and poked hard on his ass, aiming for the spot where his asshole should be. It pushed the fabric into him, rubbing him through thick cloth aimlessly. It wasn’t a direct touch, it wasn’t close. You were just teasing him, suggesting that you were going to stick it up there, that you were really going to put it in him.

Kageyama got so antsy as you ground your finger into his ass. He shifted his hips, rubbing his dick against the waistband, absolutely desperate for some form of friction aside from this half-assed prodding at his shorts.

“Aren’t you gonna uh, like…Do something? Stop poking me….”

Ah, he was really cute when he got desperate, wasn’t he?

You slapped your hands on the sides of his hips and pulled the waistband of the gym shorts and his underwear in a slow motion, riding them gently down. When they got to his knees, you saw his dick spring out, still as hard and irritated as earlier. You arched his leg up in the air to pull the shorts off and flung them across the room, probably to settle near the flashcards on the ground.

There really was a different way asses looked when the guy really worked out. It wasn’t round and bubbly like how one might expect when you describe a great ass, but it retained all the springiness of tightly packed skin. It was clefted in a way, a little angular, a little flat, a little shaped like two rounded squares. It was so easy to wrap your hands around, to let your thumbs sink into the smooth skin, to feel each movement as he adjusted his knees to the pressure of his body weight on the bed.

He was shivering a little bit, as if the stress was lowering his body temperature, as if being nervous made his brain fire out shots of chills trying to understand that this was happening, that this was actually happening, and that he was lying here on your bed like this. You put a hand at the bottom of his tailbone, stabilizing him. You leaned in, using your other hand to gently rub his inner thigh, relaxing him, trailing soft kisses down the line of your thumb as it crossed his smooth skin.

Feeling his breathing slow down and the shaking slow, you leaned back up and grabbed the bottle, squirting a big glob of lube onto your fingers, running down to your palm. You used your other hand to get a firm grip on his ass, spreading one of his cheeks, leaving the small outline of a little hole, all shriveled up tight and twitching ever so slightly. You moved your hand toward him and as the tip of your finger traced the hairs on his asscrack, making him feel the echoes of the chills from before.

You could hear him muttering into the pillow, his face still planted into the thing, his hands clutching it tightly, as if it was the only thing keeping him bound to this world.

“It’s okay, it’s okay, it won’t hurt, I promise,” you said, making sure your words were gentle and comforting.

He started to calm again and you let your free hand run down the end of his back, slowly trickling up through the shirt to his spine, the soft tickle hopefully distracting the feeling of your finger up pressing on him.

It almost felt like the world was splitting when you let your first finger glide inside. You let your other hand grip on the middle of his back, supporting him, moving your finger further in, surrounded by heat and a warm grip.

“Mmmmngnh…” you heard him grumble into the pillow. A part of you wanted to see his expressions, but the other part of you knew that it was better like this. After all, it was his first time with anything inside, it was a little bit of a vulnerable position to be in.

“Is it in yet?” you heard from him more clearly, his head tilted to the side. Sweat covered his forehead, the thin strands of his bangs sticking to his skin.

“Hmm, only about halfway,” you said.

“Tch,” he responded with, face planted right back into soft cushion.

You couldn’t stop the soft smile on your lips, knowing that Kageyama was trying to act strong for you. He was trying to show that he could take it, even if it was really sensitive, even if it was embarrassing that he could possibly like something like this, even if he could never admit that it felt good to have a part of you inside him.

You pushed the rest of the finger in, feeling his groaning flush through the bed, humming slightly into the blankets. He took your first finger so well, all the way to the knuckle now. He squeezed a couple times around you, probably trying to get used to the sensation, even if relatively, one finger wasn’t very much.

Planning on thrusting your one finger into him a couple times, you moved your other hand to grab onto his thigh to make sure he wouldn’t thrash about the place. When you first started to pull out, you felt him clench around you, as if he couldn't bear with the thought of you leaving his ass. It was so slippery now, though, your finger accidentally popped out.

Kageyama gave a little groan like he was disappointed.

Holding back a snide comment, you just pushed right back into him, sliding in with little resistance this time. His torso leaned forward with your motion, as if his entire body was jelly against your pushes. After getting into a short rhythm with the one finger, you felt Kageyama start to get used to the sensation, pushing his hips back against you with each push. You were pretty sure you hadn’t found his prostate yet, but he seemed to just enjoy the feeling of having it inside, so that was good enough for you for now.

Gripping his thigh tighter to signal to him you were slowing down your pace, you bent your middle finger and pushed it into him, spreading him further. With the spark of greater tension, every hair on Kageyama’s back began to stand, pressure building inside of him, everything standing on edge. You pushed in and sweet sounds poured back, muffled and hoarse through the thick fabric. You pushed in deep, knuckles straining against the edge of his asshole, fingers pushing downwards, pressing gently against the inside of his belly.

“Haaaaargh,” you heard from him, lifting his head off the pillow for a breathy gasp of air.

You looked down and noticed that his dick had started dripping. It did feel like you were touching something a little harder in there. You poked again, rubbing your two fingers up and down like you were beckoning him to come over to you.

“Hnnnnnnng,” he moaned, this time the pitch riding low as it faded out. You could feel it as the pleasure swept through him like a wave, crashing hoarsely and crudely outside of his body and through his groin.

Yeah, that was definitely his prostate.

“How does that feel?” You asked.

“Goooood…” he mumbled.

You scissored your fingers apart to get a better look at his asshole, now red and twitching, shuddering with the rest of his body, taking in every sensation, every rubbing motion of his insides. His dick just felt so hot and tingly, he wanted to touch it, he wanted to reach down and start jacking himself off as you prodded around inside of him. His hand, torn and calloused from hours of work, finally moved down and he started to touch himself. Even with only a couple of strokes, you could feel him starting to come. That wouldn’t be fun. You hadn’t had your fill yet.

You pulled your fingers out and grabbed him strongly on the shoulder, flipping his entire body around, slamming him onto his back. He faced you now, pretty blue eyes with a confused look, concerned, almost frightened at the look you were giving him. It had been too hot with his face against the pillow, sweat was dripping down his forehead, his hair clinging tightly in bunches to his skin.

With great force, you slammed your hand down on his mouth. Covering his lips, you felt him thrash around, almost trying to get you off him, never for a second earnestly meaning to. He started whining, the vibrations of his throat reverberating through your hand and coming off as garbled garbage.

“You’re being too loud, you need to quiet down.”

You put your other hand by his ass and pushed three fingers in. If it wasn’t for your hand, he would have never been able to contain the moan. You pushed up, seeing his eyes go wide and roll back, feeling everything all the way up his spine into the very fiber of his body. His moans came out gagged, hoarse, and choked, begging for air. His saliva caked your fingers, unable to keep it all in, unable to force his mouth closed, unable to stop the sounds from coming out.

Kageyama started clutching his asshole around your fingers, desperately trying to get any sensation of friction as he could. His fingers were wrapped firmly around your shoulders, holding on for dear life, trying to stabilize himself in any way he could so his mind wouldn’t go crazy, so his mind wouldn’t get consumed by all these feelings going up his ass.

He moved a hand off your shoulder and started to touch himself, this time with less restraint. He seemed so desperate for any kind of attention there, any kind of feeling that would draw him over the edge, any tingling that would tip him into that wonderful feeling.

It wasn’t long before you felt his muscles start to clench. Before everything started to tense up and his mouth to start lolling against your hand, dragging his tongue aimlessly across your fingers. He came, sucking your fingers inside his ass as deep as he could, milking them for that sweet release as far as he could take it.

For a moment, everything seemed still. He started to relax around you and there was a sore tension around your fingers as you pulled them out of him. You took your hand off his mouth and he rolled away from you, covered in sweat and a lovely trail of semen up his shirt.

He really looked like he was going to fall asleep, but he was more just catching his breath.

“So…” you started, still kneeling in front of him. “How was it?”

He almost pouted.

“Could you hold me?” he asked.

“Of course,” you said, smiling.

You rolled onto the bed, trying not to get too much of the stickiness of the lube on your hands on the bed, but realizing that you’d probably have to wash everything anyways. You slipped your arm under his torso, his body weight sinking deeply into the mattress. You wrapped both arms around him tightly, resting your head against his neck, cradling him like a little spoon. He pulled his knees up to his chest, lying comfortably. You relaxed like that for what seemed like minutes, just feeling the body heat on your face slowly dissipate into a graceful warmth.

[your-local-bnha-writer]

Hello ur my favorite account😭! Can I request a HC with Tanaka, Noya, Tsuki, & Kageyama where u guys are dating but at a tournament, u run into ur ex boyfriend ( who is a huge douchebag) and is saying a bunch of garbage about u? How would they react? , how would it impact their playing style cause get this- karasuno is playing against ur ex boyfriends team🤭🤭🤭🤭

jealous bfs tanaka, noya, tsukki kags,

hey I’m gonna mash these two requests! I hope you enjoy this was a lot of fun to write!

also favourite account?? me?? 🥺🥺

➣ characters included : tanaka, noya, tsukki, kageyama (separately) x fem!reader

➣ headcannons

➣ warning : a lot of swearing 😳 like there’s a lot, your jerk ex talking crap, scary bfs

ryūnosuke tanaka

- karasuno had made it to the nationals, and right before their game against Tsubakihara, lil ol Tanaka had to use the bathroom

- a horrible decision really, just ask hinata

- he walks in and hears your trash ex talking crap abt you

“Yeah, can you believe it? I saw my ex here, Y/n. I think she’s the manager for her team? Karasuno. Is she really that desperate for attention from other guys?”

- Tanaka is p i s s e d like, no one gets to talk about his precious love without experiencing the wrath from Ryūnosuke Tanaka

- So mans just straight up walks to your ex, “gently” taps him on the shoulder to get his attention, and starts defending your honour

“Y/n? Y/n L/n? The most beautiful, gorgeous, precious girl in the world? That Y/n?”

“Uh, yeah? Who are y—”

“Hi I’m the new boyfriend, and let me just tell you...”

- Tanaka goes oFF he’s not letting this douche bag of an ex get his way, he straight up just goes on a 2 hours speech about how perfect you were

- and how much of a douche your ex was

- Eventually, Hinata finds Tanaka in the bathroom (since his stomach was actin up lol) and goes to alert the other guys + you

- So, the whole gang is here, Daichi and Suga have to drAG Tanaka away from your ex while Noya hypes him up

- You have to calm him down and ask him why the hell he was yelling at someone in the bathroom

“Your ex was talking shit about you, I’m not just gonna let them do that”

- You’re immediately like 🥺🥺 Tanakaaaa you didn’t have to do that omg I love you sm

- When it’s finally time play these guys Tanaka is surprisingly calm, like it’s actually terrifying

- Oh and you bet Tanaka’s going all out he is on fire, he’s landing every spike and you can practically hear the impact on it

- Right after he lands a spike he celebrates with his team and stares directly at your ex who’s shooketh 😳

“Yeah take that! You regret breaking up with Y/n now?”

“Tanaka stOoOoP omg—”

- After Karasuno wins he gives you the most passionate kiss, in front of your ex and you pull away blushing

- Your ex just rolls his eyes and goes to pack up with his team while Tanaka’s looking all smug and Noya’s hyPED

yuu nishinoya

- The boys were getting ready for the match against Johzenji, and were just doing some basic warmups

- You had to help Kyoko and Yachi with something so you weren’t in the gym at the moment

- But your asshole of an ex was talking shit about you, very loudly 😳 and very obnoxiously too

- This mf, instead of practicing and doing fricken warmups, he’s talking crap abt you, and you weren’t even in the vicinity!

- But your boyfriend was, oh and he heard everything, every single word that came out of you ex’s mouth

“Pfft yeah she’s still annoying as ever, not surprised she’s dating the dude that’s 5’2”

- Ohh big mistake bud, not only did you insult his perfect Gf, but his height as well? Like dang pick one or the other dude

- So, Noya can’t take it anymore he’s been holding back bc he’s supposed to be warming up for the game but at this point he just couldn’t

- He straight up runs over to the other side of the gym to knock some sense into the jerk

- Tanaka follows not to stop him (although he is a bit worried 😳) but to hype him up bc that’s his best friend’s gf you don’t get to do that

- Asahi is scared shitless so Ennoshita has to keep the horny tornado in check, while Suga is conflicted

“What the hell did you say? Don’t you dare insult Y/n again! This is why she left your sorry ass! Who are you talk shit about my beautiful girlfriend I’ll fight you right now—”

- Ahem well, as you can see he’s very pissed off and uh he ends up getting scolded by coach Ukai

- except at the very end of him scolding he gives noya a few pointers on how to defend your gf without showing bad sportsmanship

- You witness the whole thing and just go up to Noya to calm him down a little

“Thank you, but you didn’t have to go off like that,”

“Yeah I did, Im not letting that douche talk shit about my crazy hot girlfriend”

- noya stop this isn’t the time 😳🥵

- During the game he is extremely focused and there’s this terrifying aura that’s escaping him

- Like Asahi might actually shit his pants just standing next to him

- Karasuno absolutely destroys Johzenji bc Noya is not letting that ball drop on their side of the court

- After the game, like Tanaka Noya straight up kisses you in front of your ex, leaving you a blushing mess as Noya gives him a smug look

kei tsukishima

- aHEM um, alright get ready folks bc this is a scary one

- So it’s Kagugawa vs Karasuno and Yamaguchi is sort of wandering around with Hinata right before the game probably to try and cool their nerves 💀💀

- When they hear your someone talking abt you

“My ex is here we’re vs her team, I know yeah, she’s probably so annoying”

- Dude Yamaguchi and Hinata have never ran faster in their entire lives, they immediately go to tsukki and it’s just a scream fest

“TSUKKI THERES SOMEONE TALKING ABT Y/N!”

“yeAH!! and he was all like ‘she’s probably so annoying’”

“mHM AND—”

“okay I think I got it, where are they?”

- shits about to go down, when Tsukki gets mad, he doesn’t lose is cool, instead he keeps a level head and strategize on how to completely destroy his opponent

- so Yams and Hinata drag him to where your ex was and point him out, and he’s stILL on the phone

“Mhm, yeah she’s super annoying”

- Oh Tsukki is pissed off, he has this intimidating aura coming from him as he approaches the dude that’s shitting on you

“You’re the ex? Yikes...😬”

- Tsukki will wait for what he has to say and the whole time he just has the biggest smirk on his face, like it’s about to go down

- Yams and Sho are hyped uP but they’re waiting behind the door bc they’re babies and they’re scared

- Mm Tsukki does not hold back, he straight up roasts this dudes ass, mans just releases all the salt that’s stored in him

“Mhm yeah, that’s pretty pathetic”

“Heh lame”

“Wow...I can’t believe she really dated you”

- Yeah that’s not that much salt

- Tanaka find the three of them in the bathroom and as much as he wants Tsukki to keep going, they have to get ready for the game

- During the game, your ex tries to spike and he’s instantly shut down my Tsukki and his 6’3 ass, It’s quite hilarious 😌

- Anyways, Tsukki blocks your ex every single time wiTH A SMIRK, mans is not holding back on this bitch

- He says it’s bc he was predictable

- Later, Karasuno beats Kagugawa and Tsukki hardcore glares at your ex like it’s pretty scary since Tsukki is one to act all sassy rather than mad when he gets irritated

“You don’t talk shit about her, ever”

- SUDHDJD DAMN TSUKKI CHILLL

- You watch all of this happen and you immediately ask your boyfriend if something was wrong bc you’re a tad bit worried

“We just had a disagreement that’s all”

“uHH YEAH RIGHT TSUKKI WENT OFF EARLIER IN THE BATHROOM—”

tobio kageyama

- Um another scary bitch please do not talk trash about his gf when he’s around

- He’s probably filing his nails away from his team bc he needs his peace and quiet and doesn’t wanna get bullied by Hinata and Tsukki

- When he hears a guy talking very loudly to his friend, now usually he’d ignore them or move spots but like this dude is talking abt you

- So, he stays for a bit and listens to what he has to say. Who even is this dude? Why does he know you? Why is talking to loud like please shut the f—

“Pfft yeah my ex is here with her volleyball team, I talked to her earlier and oh my god she’s exactly the same when I first dated her”

- I’m not sure if that’s a roast sorry I’m bad at these

- Oh now Kags is pissed, see he was already a little irked that this jerk was your ex but he was also talking trash abt you? Nahh

- He throws his nail file on the ground and stomps right up to this douche to smack some sense in him

“Yeah she’s hella annoy—”

“Why don’t you shut the fuck up?”

“Who tf—”

- So Kageyama is also unusually “calm” about the whole situation which makes it even more terrifying

- Kageyama will most likely go off and tell this dude that he has no business talking abt his gf like that

- he’ll focus more on dissing the dude and let me tell you this dude’s roasts h u r t

- like his insults are like 90% swear words

“goblin lookin ass”

“long titty no nipple lookin ass”

“get outta here you abominable fuck waffle”

- Imagine this scary ass dude coming up to you, telling you to shut the fuck up, then realizing this is Tobio Kageyama, The King of the Court, the incredible setter that has precise aim, the 2nd half of the freak duo, going off on how you should stfu abt his gf

- oh and you’re facing him on your next game

- and he absolutely obliterates your sorry ass

- his sets are perfect, he blocks every single fuckin spike you make, and when you think he’s going setting to #10 think again bc he will do a setter dump

- basically he’s on fire and tear the other team to shreds it’s kind of scary actually, hinata was sweating buckets when kageyama served since he looked so terrifying at the moment

- after the game, kageyama would want to leave immediately he doesn’t want to see your ex anymore

“You doing okie? Did something happen with you and him before the game?”

“Yep, but it’s nothing don’t worry about it”

- kags you have that creepy smile again stop you’re scaring y/n

[thekillingjoke-haha]

What You Want

Marvel & Supernatral Bing, Spnquotebingo

Squares: Love Triangle and quote

Stucky(established)x reader

Warnings?: Slight reckless endangerment,poly hate(fuck you Karen),mutual love,ect.

Note: f/d=Favorite drink

Steve and Bucky have been a item since kindergarten and nothing has changed. Sure their older and they no longer needed yo hide it,but the love hasn’t faded a bit. The only time they questioned their relationship was when a shield against walked into the base and saved them all on her own. Y/n is a last call agent and that means when shit really hits the fan and not even the best can handle it she swoops in to finish the job. Seeing agent L/n is a rarity and they’ll never admit it,but they’ve been taking riskier missions to see her. “Mr.Rogers and Mr. Barnes you’re needed in the meeting room. Immediately.” The Irish voice brought them out of their slumber. Steve was the first to get dressed and in the briefing room and froze up getting pushed forward by Bucky.

There she stood next to Fury in all of her glory. The blonde’s throat went dry as she made eye contact with him as he looked down at her lips and saw they were moving,but the captain’s mind was to preoccupied with how her uniform was instead replaced with causal clothes that fit oh so well. It was Nick’s voice that snapped him out of it. “Roger…Barnes take a seat.” He said nodding towards the table. Both of them sat next to each other in the closest chairs.

“We need to speak to you about resent missions. It’s clear to me that not only has success levels dropped,but that your team is unable to work flawlessly.” The dark skinned man said. Steve was about to defend himself and the others,but was cut of by Y/n as she stepped forward to speak. “That’s why I Captain Roger’s is joining the team as your superior. ” Her voice caused the duo to freeze. Bucky was the first to get up. “Welcome to the team,doll.” He said kissing her hand with a smirk. This was the start of something great.

TWO Months later~

It’s been two months since Y/n joined the team and to say it was crazy was a understatement on its own. Her mind was often clouded by thoughts of the two super soldiers,but doubt and denial soon chase them off. The 40’s men are together and are open about their relationship she didn’t stand a chance. Y/n was so confused with her friendship with them both. Bucky was a flirt and always would throw a pickup line followed by a sweet pet name. Steve was the complete opposite he was shy blushing whenever they were in a room together,but he showed that school boy crush vibe by the drawing her and rambling when he’s caught.

Y/n couldn’t be falling for both of them she’s work so hard to get where she was today and that alone got her more hate then love. So admitting her love to them was definitely not an option. What if they regretted her? Their work and personal relationships will be destroyed. What if the media found out? Reporters almost disbanded the Avengers on multiple occasions and almost had the two soldiers benched with the anti-lgbtq+ community which was a hefty amount.

She hated to do it,but she tapped into her training and shut of her emotions and boy did they notice that. Bucky walked up to her as she was hitting the punching bag. “Woah,doll. Punch that bag any harder I would think you’re trying to hit on me.” He said with a smirk within seconds it went away when he didn’t hear a snarky come back or even a giggle. The brunette looked closer and saw she wasn’t wearing ear buds of any kind. ‘Is she just ignoring me?’ He thought to himself. It stared that way for a week before he went to talk to Steve.

Steve wasn’t having much luck either. Whenever he tried to talk her he was shot down and every picture her drew for Y/n ended up back in his room within hours of dropping it off. She was cutting them out of her life faster then they could react. Now they only saw her in mission briefing not even the missions themselves anymore. The other members didn’t notice a change in her behavior towards them,but they did see the emotional shut down towards the 40’s men. “What did you two do?” The flaming redhead asked them alone.

“We didn’t do anything! She just started to ignore us and acts as if she doesn’t even know us.” Bucky defended himself and his husband just as lost as everyone else. “Can you talk to her Nat? You guys are best friends she’ll open up to you.” Steve suggested causing the women to sigh and nod. “Whatever we talk about it will stay between us. She’ll tell you when she feels like it.” She stated and held up her hand when they tried to deny. Natasha turned around and walked off to the agents floor to talk.

The ex assassin knocked on the door not even waiting for a response before going in. There sat Y/n drying off her hair with a towel. “Oh hey,Nat. Did you need something?” She asked the women looking at her through the mirror. “Just some questions.” She said with a serious undertone causing the h/c women to turn around. “About?” L/n was no dummy she knew a interrogation when she saw one. “Buck and Steve.” Y/n tried her best not to sigh as she nodded. “What about them?” She played dumb avoiding the question as much as possible. “About how one minute your all heart eyes for them then it like you don’t know them!” Natasha snapped causing her friend to run her face. Her feels for them were so obvious Nat saw it a mile away.

“That’s the problem Nat. I shouldn’t be giving both parties of the happily married couple heart eyes! It’s not right their my best friends I shouldn’t feel this way.” Her throat felt dry with her confession. “And who told you that load of crap?” The Russian rolled off her tongue with a venomous hissed. “At the party two weeks ago. This group of women I guess saw the way Bucky flirted with me and how Steve blushed when I complained him. When I went to the bar they came up to me asking all these questions and saying all these horrible things about them…”

This party started of not so crazy,but leave it to Tony Stark to get the music bumping to max level and people to get drunk of their asses to match that energy. I was wearing a dress,but I wasn’t in just casual clothes either. Bucky stood to my left his voice was coming out clear enough for me to hear. “If the music didn’t beat me to it I would have knocked you off your feet!” He flirted causing me to covet my mouth so I didn’t spit the [f/d] on the floor. “Buck stop your gonna make me choke.” I coughed a bit heat immediately rushed to my cheeks at the wiggle of his eyebrows. “Get you mind out of the gutter,James!” I said as I smoked his shacking shoulders.

Steve bushed up against my side as he slid back into his place to my right. “Sorry n/n that I had to leave you to soon. Sam wanted a rematch at pool.” He said with a sheepish smile. “Did you beat his ass again?” I asked with a grin. He rubbed the back of his neck looking down. “Well…he’s not the one fifty dollars richer.” This caused me to laugh and give him a peck on the cheek a light lipstick mark left in its place followed by red blush. “I’ll never doubt you again Mr.America.” The smile on my face not faltering as a tap on on my shoulder made me turn around. “Wheres my cheek kiss,doll?” Bucky faked a pout. “None for you,hun, just for Stevie.” With that the pout intensified with a small giggle I bring my drink to my lips only to be met by nothing. “I’m out you boy’s want anything?” They both shook their heads their glasses still decently filled with asgardian ale.

The bar was open not many people their since most of them were trying to get in Tony’s good graces or his pants one of the two. Leaning on the bar next to a small group of middle aged women no older then forty conversed loudly next to me. “God did you see the arms on Thor?! If I wasn’t a married woman.” The youngest in the little click said in a lustful daze. “Those super soldiers though are something else.” I wasn’t able to tell who said that,but all of their eyes turned to the duo. “You know their married to each other right?” I’m not a nosy person,but dammit I had listen in. “I think it’s just a front. Why would the symbol for America a fag?! Their just probably covering up the fake that their sharing that slut that’s been seen on the team. What was get name?” The clear leader said and it pissed me the fuck off.

Harshly tapping on her shoulder she turned around and her eyes widened to match the size of dinner plates. “Hi,the names Y/n L/n or as you said ‘slut’ also known as…” I said with a smile that made the women shiver,but she cut me off. “T-that’s not w–what I meant!!!” She shuddered,but I held up my hand. “I wasn’t finished introducing myself. As I was say known as the most deadly assassin with the largest kill count in the world. So unless you want to live your pathetic life to it’s natural end I suggest you and your posy take a hike.” With a slight lift of my blouse I reveal a handgun along with so knifes. “Off you go.”

Without hesitation they all ran of not even caring that some of them were tripping up on their cheap heels. “What was that about?” Looking at the redhead behind the bar I give a convincing smile. “They had to leave. Lives they wanted to live.” With that I left without a drink and to my floor. It didn’t bother me in the moment,but her words sunk in. Did the public really see me like that? It was already hard when the great Captain America came out as bisexual to the world that had a closed mind. The thoughts made me think if I remove myself the picture all together and slow I did. First we didn’t hang out as much,then I started making myself more busy with solo missions, then last week it was just getting to hard so I tapped into emotional disconnection training.

“And it was working I think it’s best they’re a item and I’m that third wheel. It’s just better for me to leave them be.” Y/n finished speaking with her hands rubbing the tears that ran down her cheek. Somehow they were on the bed now and Nat was rubbing her back in soft circles. “Oh, n/n. Don’t let anyone ever make you feel like you don’t deserve what you want.” She said in all honesty. Natasha saw the way the boys were acting the first time they say her best friend after they were striped of their weapons and restrained in a hydra base they say her in a different light then she saw herself.

The redhead assassin stood up and kneeled in front of her. “Talk to them. The three of you are adults sure their a little stuck in the 40’s,but their moving along with the times. You think Steve knew what bisexuality was he was conflicted so just explain to them about how you feel.” Nat said holding her friends face in her hands rubbing her cheeks with her thumbs. “You got this. Don’t let those judgmental assholes,but you down.” With that she stood up and left. It was time for action and possible rejection…how fun!

The super soldiers stayed on their shared floor for hours stressed. What the hell did they do to drive her away?! Were they coming on to strong?Not strong enough and their stuck in the friend zone. Oh God. Steve sat on the couch while Bucky paced in front of him they were about to break the silence that fell before them,but was immediately cut off by the ding of the elevator. Y/n walked out once the metal doors opened and was greeted by the sight of them before her. She cleaned herself up after her talk with Nat not wanting her appearance to give away anything was wrong. “Hello,boys. I normally would want to be woken up from a nightmare,but it seems I walked in on a daydream.” She said with a smile as she sauntered over trying to seem more confident then she felt.

Y/n didn’t even get a response as she was pulled into a giant hug from them. “Doll we’ve missed you so much!” Buck was the first to pull away. “Hey!!! Cheesy pickup lines are my thing.” He said with a smirk. “I couldn’t let you have all the fun,handsome.” Everything felt so much better talking to them the mindless flirting it was just so right. “W-what happened?” Steve was the one to ask the question I was honestly dreading. “That party just someone said something that got me thinking. How can a girl like me ever get not one,but two guys like you to love me?” Y/n looked down at the floor. “I mean…first I appear out of nowhere, take Steve’s role as captain,and get cozy with two super soldiers the married couple. No wander the public seems me in such a light.” A hand gasped her cheek lifting her face up to look into beautiful blue eyes.

Steve looked into her gorgeous e/c eyes with hope. “You love us, n/n?” He asked wanting to make sure he heard right. She gave a wet chuckling as rears slipped past her eyes. “I just gave you reasons to hate me and that’s all you get out of it?!” Y/n sniffles as she brings hers to wipe her eyes. “Cause that’s all that mattered. Why should you give a shit what they think when we can tell you now that we both feel the same way about you.?” This caused the agent to freeze up. “Y-you both l-love me?!?” She didn’t know if it was a question to them or herself. “Of course we do,doll. You’re strong enough to give us a run for our money,more intelligent then the two brainiacs in the lab,so much sass it renders Stark speechless, everything about you is perfect to us. You are literally everything we ever wanted since we were kids.”

Y/n was now chocked up by happy tears as she looked into the two sets of blue eyes that held nothing,but love. “What do you want?” A smile graced her lips as she brought both of them into a kiss each equal as passion. “All I want is to be yours. Both of yours is what I want.”

===============================

Another in the bag lets go!!! 2 more coming out this month hopefully.

Tagged : @thisismysecrethappyplace and @spnquotebingo

Quote: “Don’t let anyone ever make you feel like you don’t deserve what you want.”

-10 Things I Hate about You

[idkwhoiamanymorebutwtf]

Imagine Sasha and Max being friends tho.

(i’ll be real this whole thing took multiple hours to type please somebody actually read this or I might die tbh-)

Like I know they had one episode together but think about them a c t u a l l y being friends.

(below are a ton of headcanons for a friendship between them)

- Obviously they have a bit of respect for one another because of their alliance of convenience, but their friendship would probably be forged on laughing at someone else. Whether it's their friends fucking up or Pikeman's general incompetence or whatever else. I can imagine now their camps are competing or something but the stakes don't matter to them, so Sasha and Max just end up shit talking everyone else and watching the show.

- Since their friendship was forged on calling people out they'd kinda just start hanging out specifically to rant and gossip about the shit that goes down around camp. Like Max'll get fed up with how idiotic the campbell campers are and come to vent to Sasha and she'll be here for it, because of course she is or Sasha ends up getting ditched by Tabii and Erin again and just kinda goes to Max to talk about how annoyed she is.

-  Sasha keeps pointing out things like the circled under Max's eyes and other facial discrepancies and eventually he'll just be like "well how do you look perfect all the time?!?" because it's not fair. Sasha gasps super loud and immediately goes full makeover mode. She immediately shoves a ton of makeup onto him and prescribes him a skincare routine and Max isn't sure about it but he's actually kinda self-conscious and Sasha's like "do you wanna end up looking like Pikeman?" so Max follows her instructions to the letter and he looks amazing.

  - After that they kinda just end up doing each other's makeup all the time and stuff like that. Max usually just uses like concealer and stuff because he doesn't want it to look like he's trying, but occasionally Max'll give Sasha permission to put some eyeliner on him or something and he'll never admit it but he l o v e s the way it looks. They start hanging out even more of course because it's not like Max can go to anyone else about the whole skincare/makeup thing and honestly Sasha loves her other friends but it's relieving to hang out with someone more willing to gossip with her (even if she's slightly salty that Max doesn't have enough hair for her to mess with like Erin and Tabii do)

-  Sasha forces Max to watch a ton of shitty highschool movies and Max doesn't really like most of them but he'll put up with it because he (although he'll never admit it) cares about Sasha (and is a little intimidated by her when she's upset). He doesn't like them but occasionally Max can also coerce her into watching a horror movie with him so they're even in his books (even if the poor thing has to watch way more of her movies than he makes her watch)

- They actually end up being r e a l l y protective of each other. Like most of the time, they'll let people fuck with their friends (so long as no real harm is done), yknow? But if anyone says a word about Max and it gets back to Sasha they'll literally end up the laughing stock of Lake Lilac by the end of the day because Sasha's a bitch who can spread a rumor like wildfire. Alternatively, Max'll sick Nikki and Neil on anyone who fucks with Sasha (which won't end up pretty). And that's if they're lucky because that kid could do so much worse if he's got the right motivation. They try to hide the fact that they're acting in defense of one another and justify why they're screwing over whoever it is they're screwing over, but it's honestly just vengeance for their friend.

- All the gossiping makes the two more unstoppable than they were before tbh. Like Max always had other Camp Campbell camper's secrets tucked away for blackmail purposes and Sasha needs to know everything going on in her turf so of course she's got dirt on all the Flower Scouts. And it's not exactly hard to figure out the Woodscout's. So with their swapping info constantly both of them end up knowing everything about everyone and being able to screw them over in a heartbeat. Basically, hanging out together makes those two terrifying.

- They're also more confident as a duo than most other times. Like don't get me wrong, they're both pretty sure of their capabilities, and they trust their individual friend groups to have their back, but they know that the other person is competent in manipulation and incredibly cunning and they value each other's skillsets because they're super similar. When you're confident in yourself, having somebody who's like you around only makes you doubly confident. They feel super badass whenever they team up in something and it's great.

- Most of their arguments are probably petty tbh. Max calls one of Sasha's favorite movies dumb (she bases her life around highschool stereotypes and dumb cliche movies, of course, she gets pissed when he insults them) or Sasha makes one too many comments about Max's physical appearance (the girl is obsessed with looking good and as much as Max is willing to listen to her advice, it gets to him when she comments on his weight or how he needs to sleep more because the circles under his eyes are getting harder to cover up. Like, he has depression, do you not realize that weight changes and bad sleeping habits are a symptom of that?!?). A common source of disagreement is how used to being in charge they each are. Like yeah, they know they don't always have to take the lead, but it's so ingrained into them that they struggle with it. Max watches Sasha's dumb movies all the time and took her advice on skincare and stuff so she occasionally forgets that she's not his boss like she's in charge of her other friend's and of course he's willing to compromise on some things but he doesn't take well to being treated like a lackey and she's too stubborn to admit she's wrong half the time.

- Their fights get bad. Despite normally being over small things and the person who's in the wrong normally realizing they're the one who's wrong, both Max and Sasha are very stubborn people and they will die on this hill no matter how petty the whole thing is honestly. They'll scream and throw things and once or twice they've even wound up physically fighting. Usually, if it comes to an actual physical altercation they'll stop there because actually injuring your friend is super fucked up. Once Max threw a book at Sasha without thinking and it gave her a black eye. Another time Sasha literally slapped him and it left a bruise for like a week. They both felt like shit after. When Sasha gave Max a bruise she literally cried and he forgave her on the condition that she help him cover the bruise with makeup (He said he'd dealt with worse and something about the way he said it made her uneasy. She can't place why). The time that Max hit Sasha with a book he froze up completely and refused to even look at her for like an hour. Partially because he felt guilty and couldn't verbalize his regret but it was honestly more than that. You don't shut down and practically disassociate for an hour because you don't know what to say. There was absolutely something wrong with the way he shut down after the whole thing but she didn't push for answers and he apologized and they just decided to forget it ever happened. They never aim to actually hurt one another, they just don't have many ways to actually get out their frustrations. They never once actually physically hurt the other more than once each. It's just not something either of them wants to go through again, honestly. If their arguments don't end with one of them going too far and the two felt like shit and making up within seconds one of them will eventually storm off and they'll both get super petty. Making sarcastic remarks at one another whenever they see each other, pointedly ignoring the other, the occasional mean prank. Usually, they forget all about it within a week, though, because as stubborn as they are something dumb happens to one of them and they'll need to vent. None of their fights are ever serious, as nasty as they are, so it's easy to get over and never gets mentioned again.

- They had one serious fight that actually put their friendship in danger. Tabii had ended up crying to Sasha because she was devastated over being rejected by Neil. Like, she was super broken up about how he doesn't love her and it's probably because she's ugly even though Erin told her she wasn't. Sasha wasn't happy about it. At all. Like, she normally just rolls her eyes and brushes it off whenever she sees Tabii going after him, but she watched so many stupid cliche high school movies where the girl got the guy if he was good and anyone who rejects the protagonist is an asshole. So Sasha, going by movie logic, was pretty sure that Neil was insulting Tabii by rejecting her and was a terrible person. She also failed to realize that Tabii's whole attitude towards pursuing Neil was kinda creepy and stalkerish to begin with and she already had a low opinion of him since he's a nerd who called her a cunt and hangs out with Nikki, who she also hates. She did not like seeing one of her best friends in the world (who's basically like a sister to her tbh) cry. So Sasha, with a burning rage towards Neil, wound up spilling the whole thing to Max. And he wasn't happy with her for insulting his friend either. Max basically cussed Sasha out because Tabii's behavior was creepy and it was making Neil super uncomfortable, which he was not cool with. He told her she was a moron if she saw nothing wrong with how Tabii acted but thought that Neil was out of line for rejecting her. Sasha didn't take well to being called a moron or to her friend being accused of being creepy, and she said something along the lines of "It's not my fault you hang out with a retarded nerd and a girl who can't even be a girl properly". Max basically called her an ignorant bitch and told her to go fuck herself, then he left. Normally their arguments are long and wordy and even violent but this time he just cut it short and stormed out. Sasha still thought she was right, of course, because that boy who Max was friends with had made Tabii cry and he was a moron for not liking her! And yeah maybe the insults to Nikki weren't exactly called for but every word was true, right?  She just kinda expected Max to get over it eventually but a few weeks passed and he never really did. The fact that Max had called her ignorant kinda stuck out to her more than anything. That's the same thing Neil had called her, isn't it? Why would they both use the same insult? It's not like that was a go-to thing to call somebody. The whole thing drove her crazy and eventually when she confronted him about it she got a long lecture about how romantic relationships work, the fact that bullying a girl over dressing or acting slightly differently from her is a shitty thing to do, and that calling Neil 'retarded' is offensive because he's actually mentally ill and even if he weren't, the word's still terrible. She didn't quite understand all of it but she got enough to feel guilty and she apologized. Sasha still doesn't really like Nikki and Neil much and it's not like she's stopped shit-talking them, but she's eased up a bit because she doesn't want Max that angry at her again, and in a way she can see how she maybe...was a tiny bit wrong.

- They don't normally get super sad or deep on each other. Neither really likes to be emotional or open up so they wouldn't exactly initiate any sort of depressing dialogue. However, they are both observant people so they notice things anyway. Max notices how Sasha talks a little too much about her weight and thinks anything over one hundred pounds is horrifically obese to the point where she diets incessantly. He notices that she cares too much about looking young and pretty too. Damned highschool movies. Sasha, on the other hand, notices that Max doesn't trust adults at all and that he flinches when she gets too loud (even if he tries to cover it up) and that he either doesn't sleep at all or sleeps way too often...amoung other things of course. They don't talk about these things out loud but they've both deduced that the other isn't healthy.

- Max practically forces Sasha to eat every time they see each other and refuses to watch a single movie with her that even mentions dieting in a positive light because she is ten years old and shouldn't be counting calories and refusing absolutely all fat. He'll insist on doing her makeup and will make sure to do it lighter and lighter every time because as much as he himself appreciates makeup and uses it to cover parts of his skin he doesn't like, she needs to be more confident and he can't in good conscience let her go on the way she's been going on. Sasha, on the other hand, if she ever notices he's having a bad day and isn't functioning well, will let him hide out with her all day even if she has other things to do and he should be at camp. Occasionally she'll even let Nikki or Neil in her room if she or they feel Max really needs their support (he can't just stay at his own camp, he'd never be allowed out of activities all day). She doesn't exactly understand why he's sad and tired and angry and has a hard time with sleep but she won't ask. Sasha has some theories on why he doesn't trust any adult and flinches when she yells but she doesn't like thinking on that one too long (his comment when she slapped him 'i've had worse' comes to mind). They're not always great at it and they don't always understand but they try to help each other even if they have an unspoken rule not to ask questions.

- While they normally spend their hang-out time watching movies or doing each other's makeup/hair/nails or talking crap about other's behind their backs, they've occasionally had adventures of their own. They typically leave Lake Lilac for these, honestly. Sasha couldn't care less about anything going on at Camp Campbell and Max isn't about to get involved in Flower Scout politics so if they're ever inclined to go on an adventure it's in town or even the big city. And usually involves crime one way or another tbh. Once they accidentally managed to get Max elected mayor of the whole town and Sasha as treasurer. Money was embezzled, fires were set, and they're now banned from muffin tops for life. That's the kind of adventure those two have whenever they're compelled to do anything at all. Go big or go home, basically.

- They're actually super honest with each other. The general light-hearted nature of their friendship and the fact that they gossip and chatter about pretty much everything that pops into their heads means they don't exactly stress about getting judged or anything like that as long as they aren't confessing to horrific sins or anything.

- They love to fuck with Pikeman. Like they normally just sit around at the Flower Scout's camp or out in town or the city or something like that but occasionally they'll screw him over because they both can agree he's an incompetent asshole who deserves it.

- Sasha flipped her shit when she realized that Max knows how to bake, cook, sew, and knit (he definitely can knit and sew we’ve seen him do it in the show and I headcanon he’d have to learn to cook and stuff cause his parents don’t feel like doing it for him) She nearly died and made him sew/knit her a bunch of stuff for her and decided they had to bake together and she was just super happy about it. Once upon a time, she would've judged him for it because of gender roles and stuff and she wasn't used to guys doing any of those things, but after the whole incident where he called her an ignorant bitch she wasn't gonna push it and besides, she was happy to have her gossip and makeup buddy also be able to do those other things with her. Like she can do those things with Tabii and Erin too but Max kinda gets her and she needs a break from the two sometimes.

- Most people don't actually know they're friends. Nikki and Neil are vaguely aware they hang out but they don't see much besides the occasional banter when the Flower Scouts and Camp Campbell interact as a group. Max doesn't talk about Sasha much around them since he knows they don't exactly like her. Sasha doesn't dare mention their friendship around Tabii and Erin because they'd freak out completely and probably assume they're dating since those two don't realize guys and girls can actually have platonic friendships. She doesn't want that drama. Their friendship is kinda a secret, which is surprising since they may not talk about it but they visit each other and chat enough when they cross paths that you'd think people would realize. But they're kinda glad. Lake Lilac is a chaotic place and when they're hanging out it's one of the only times they even have the option of just relaxing.

(imma be real I literally came up with the idea of those two being really close friends because I watched the episode where Nikki hung out with Dolph and Nerris and I thought 'Max have other friend too? :0')

Literally, ANY input is welcome. I spent multiple hours on this so if you have anything to say you know I'm down for a conversation about it

[johnny-boy-17]

How Starco f***ed with my life in a good way

Welp, here we go again w/ another post on 7 reasons why an otp of mine is some gud s***. This is gonna be a bit different from the last one I did tho (it was about HiroTwo from DITF, here’s a link to dat) considering that one was an anime & the other is a D1dN3Y sH0w. Then again, both shows were pretty good w/ endings that pissed people off to the sun & cosmos so I guess it all evens out. But that’s enough stalling, let’s dive in (if you want of course)!

1: No Bullshit Zone!

What I thank these two drawings and the creators for everyday I spend alive is that it doesn't have the whole “they don’t like eachother but they will someday Hyuk Hyuk!” bullshit you see in anime. This is a tsundere free zone! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU GOD ALL MIGHTY ABOVE!!

I mean it kinda throws you for a loop at first in the pilot with Star sorta f***ing up Marco’s precious little life...

...but then she goes to find him and apologize, some other stuff happened, and all is forgiven and the two only become closer after that. In fact, they become best friends from that point on.

Maybe it’s just my anime background, but I think it would have been SO FUCKING EASY to do the stupid tsundere bullshit you see all the time. But no: they legit are good friends in the entire run of the series. This brings me to the second point.

2: Multiversal tool

Star and Marco are the kinda duo that could have never become a thing, and I would have actually been kinda ok with it. Their bond as “besties” so strong that it didn’t matter much to me whether or not they become a thing (though I would very much like it), I just liked their interactions either way.

I dunno, something about them gives me Arin and Danny vibes (game grumps), in that they treasure each others friendship so friggin’ much and are so comfortably open about it. Star/Arin constantly exclaiming how much Marco/Danny is their best friend, and Marco/Danny reciprocating (plus the fun times they have together in different scenarios), their just so comfy being friends.

3: Aesthetic dorks

These two just have look down to a T, and are total doofs, lookit.

I’m convinced that the photo-booth on it’s own has more than enough good shit to go ‘round.

4: Patience rewarded

And I’m not just talking about the actual ‘sailing’ of the shitp, I mean like any amount of time. One thing all of us can agree on is that the “will-thy-won’t-they” teasing kinda gets old after a bit, but they sure-as-s*** know how to  friggin’ deliver.

Lemme set this scene: a big battle has been won, star’s made a confession a few weeks back, and Marco’s about to leave to go home. d0 d3y K1$$?!? Nope, but do they give a big ol’ wholesome going away moment, like their actually leaving each other forever.

5: Slow and Steady

That fable about the tortoise and the hare is classic for a reason, and it’s cuz it’s right: slow and steady wins. Starco did take their sweet-time trying to get it working, and it paid off. As much as we all harp on how long it took, you can’t say they didn’t take their time to make sure it went off without a hitch... whether or not you see that those efforts worked is subjective I suppose.

6: Moral Support-hotline

Moral support be super important in any relationship (real, fake, whatevs), and these two got that down in spades. Perfect examples being the above, when Star’s going through some abandonment issues when Marco is planing to leave for home. He comes in, tells her it’s gonna be ok, and that their still gonna be besties.

The other being (that in the beginning) Marco always kinda struggled w/ self-love and confidence and all that, then Star took off his fake glasses and used them to help calm his worries (NOTE: I think there’s alot more to those glasses now that I’m typing that out).

7: Endgame

Ok, before you start... OK. BEFORE. YOU. START.

Look, I’m not gonna deny that the show’s ending as a whole has a lot to be desired, because it does leave a lot to be desired. But let’s look at it from the standpoint of the whole point of this post has been about: the relationship between the two leads. This whole show has had the whole ‘cleaved’ theme going on, and this is them following through on that theme. It’s sorta like the old disney movie endings: it relies more on the emotions rather than the logic. Take any of the stories where the prince wakes up the princess w/ a kiss and they live happily ever after. Did you even for one split second think about the lack of consent? Maybe you do now, but did you as a kid? Nah, you were just happy for a happy ending. 

Likewise, I didn’t really think about the logistics for the two world merging and what the consequences meant (AT FIRST), I was just happy these two get a happy ending, and I still am.

And hey, lookie there: Lucky seven reasons these two is guuuuuud s***. I realize I may be a bit late with this post, but better late than never, right? Besides, these two took their f***in’ time, why shouldn’t I?

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

[eternalsterekrecs]

A Life Less Ordinary by Jebiwonkenobi

It takes a few years but eventually they manage to agree on something; Derek Hale is an asshole, and Stiles Stilinski is in love with him.

Burn by night by thebrotherswinchester

Sheriff Stilinski has been kidnapped by Alpha werewolves. As bait. For his own son.

Cupboard Love by mklutz

He’s carefully balancing the sandwiches and the two biggest tupperware containers he could find that both had functioning lids when the front door opens and he almost drops everything right there in front of the stupid fountain.

If that’s Derek Hale, he’s definitely not a mountain man.

Daddy’s Do’s by apocryphal

“Hi Mr. Stilinski!” Lydia said pertly. “My name’s Lydia, and this is my daddy. His name is Derek Andrew Hale and he watches all of your videos on YouTube a lot, but he still can’t braid.”

[Stiles is a celebrity YouTube hairstylist. Derek may or may not have a crush. Lydia just wants a French braid for school picture day.]

Everything’s Better Under the Sea by tryslora

Everything changes when Derek goes under while surfing, hits his head on a board, and sees a man with a tail swimming away. He wants to know who that was, and what it has to do with Beacon Hills, the one place he never meant to come back to.

Five Times Stiles Apologized (and One Time He Didn’t Need To) by Analiena, QueenOfTheCute

Gravity’s Got Nothing on You by zosofi

“Three weeks,” Derek says.

“Still don’t want to,” Stiles says.

“I’ll pay you,” Derek says, and that… that has Stiles interested. Alf’s Antique’s may be a great job, but it’s not a high-paying job, and half of Stiles’s tuition is coming from financial aid, so…

“How much,” Stiles asks, “are we talking here? Because I know your family, dude. And it’ll be kind of awkward after.“

“My family thinks you’re some sort of fucking gift to the world,” Derek seethes, like he’s jealous, “they’ll probably be pissed at me when we break it off, so don’t worry about that. Five hundred bucks.”

“A thousand,” Stiles says, because screw ethics. Also, the Hale family is loaded. Derek can deal.

Hold the Door by Hatteress, maichan808

When Derek is killed by a rival alpha, the pack will stop at nothing to get him back. Even if that means blackmailing the most dangerous hunter duo this side of hell. Whatever. That whole devil thing was probably totally exaggerated, anyway.

If galileo gave us good advice by proxydialogue

Stiles is glued together wrong. That’s the best that Derek can figure.

Jambalaya by SylvieW

Derek hasn’t had a job for years. Now that he’s decided to stay in Beacon Hills, he wants to put down roots. But making friends with his co-workers is a lot harder than he remembers.

Knot if You Don’t Knock by jsea, marguerite_26

Stiles never expects to present as an omega -- that's something that happens to people like Greenberg, not him. He is so wrong.

His life only gets stranger when Derek Hale mistakenly bursts through the door of his exam room during a doctor’s appointment. What happens next is a complicated series of events, including freshly baked cookies, book-carrying and surprise heats.

Like French Vanilla Ice Cream by GotTheSilver

Hale Sounds, Open 'til Midnight.

An Empire Records AU.

“Well, maybe you should sort out your own love life before looking at mine.”

“I don’t have a love life.”

“That’s the point I was making,” Erica responds in a tone of voice that suggests she thinks Derek is stupid.

Mǣnōn by MyBeth

Knotting. It’s a thing that exists. Like werewolves and weird lizard creatures. It’s just rated NC-17 so you don’t hear about it so much on TV. It exists and he gets it. Stiles. He’s the one that gets it.

Numbers by standinginanicedress

“I'm magic,” Stiles raises his hands in the air and puts on a serious facial expression. “I have the sixth sense.”

“The sixth sense, huh? Is that what they're calling bullshit these days?”

Stiles' lips purse down hard, but he still smirks. Derek wonders if there's any single facial expression that Stiles can make that isn't in some way at least slightly amused, whether at himself or the expense of others. “Non-believers aren't welcome at my table, Derek.”

Of Wolves and Doughnuts by Hatteress

When Derek was fifteen, circumstance and a goddamn doughnut had seen fit to Bond him to Stiles Stilinski.

In which Derek is more cunning than anyone gives him credit for, Stiles doesn't understand why the new Alphas in town are all up in his business and everyone gets a violent crash-course in what it means to be Pack, whether they're in it or not.

Pale Skin and Fragile Bones by lydiasbones

“I’m not going to do anything!” Lydia defended, looking far too affronted to be genuine. “It just seems that the universe has decided that the two of you will continue to run into each other at an improbable frequency for the foreseeable future. I’m banking on that.”

“You don’t bank on anything,” Stiles said grimly. “You make things happen.”

Lydia smirked. “That’s not entirely untrue.”

--

Or, the one in which Derek arrests one of Stiles' friends and Stiles holds a grudge. Also, Stiles wrote Derek's favorite book. But they don't know that.

Queer Your Coffee by alisvolatpropiis

Derek's just over the city line when he sees a sign for an independent drive-thru place, Full Spectrum Brew. There are three cars in line when he turns in, which annoys him but gives him hope. Not that he really trusts the people of Beacon Hills to have much taste when it comes to coffee (god, he is a snob), but the shop’s popularity does seem to bode well. The line of cars moves way more slowly than he’d like, each customer in front of him seeming to take way too long to order, and then lingering when they get their coffee. He’s irritable from lack of sleep and an even more detrimental lack of caffeine, anxious to get out of the car. Finally it’s his turn and he slowly rolls up to the window, turning the radio down.

For a second, he thinks he must have fallen asleep while he was waiting, because what he sees when he looks in the window surely must be a dream.

Stunning brown eyes like glowing honey and sweet little nose, slightly upturned; a shapely pink mouth, bottom-lip pierced by a thin black hoop that he's worrying with the tip of his tongue as he smiles a gorgeous hello.

He's the most beautiful man Derek's ever seen.

And he’s shirtless.

Running Down a Dream by tryslora

He wakes into an unknown room and without his memories. The name they give him tastes unfamiliar on his tongue, and he wonders if he'll ever find the memory-eating aliens that did this to him, or the magical spell to give him back his life.

Stacking Up by bravelittlesoldier

Stiles is working in the basement of the Library of Congress and is feeling his social skills quickly deteriorate. Then along comes a new librarian working at Circulation who is most definitely a male model. Maybe its time to start re-socializing.

The Pope Would Brag by Hatteress

The thing is, Derek’s really, really hot. Like, insane levels of attraction. What with the leather and the cheekbones and the stubble and the ass — oh god, that ass — Stiles can’t really be blamed, at all for freaking bragging.

Now if only his college friends actually believed Derek existed.

Up and Coming by Fanhag102

Stiles and Derek work in the same building and every day ride up in the elevator together.

That is pretty much the extent of their relationship—until one day the elevator breaks down, trapping the two of them inside and maybe forcing them to admit to each other that the attraction is mutual.

Voldemort and Jean Valjean (Walk into a Coffee Shop) by PsychicPineapple

So sue him, Stiles had a stupid habit of giving out goofy names at coffee joints.

**

‘Name?’ He stood with his sharpie at the ready.

‘Voldemort,’ Stiles answered without missing a beat.

With metal on our tongues (we’ll be dressed in rags) by Rena

Double-oh agents are a piece of work; Stiles knew that before he became MI6's new quartermaster. It's cool, he survived Lydia in college, he can deal with stubborn, reckless, trigger-happy operatives. Derek Hale, though, is definitely trying to live up to his predecessor's legacy and make Stiles' life more difficult.

AKA the one where Derek is 007 and Stiles is Q and they bitch and angst their way to a Happy Ending.

XXX by foxtricks

Stiles wears Xs on his hands, and Derek wants to know why.

You Can Cry Wolf, But Stop Running by iamursforevrmre

Derek Hale is the third baseman for the Los Angeles Dodgers. Stiles doesn’t know why he has an apparent thing for third basemen and he has no clue why he’s even watching the Dodgers. He’s a Mets fan.

Zoo Security by Inell

Derek gets a call to come pick up Stiles and their daughter from the zoo security office.

[mixtapekings]

Listen Review of Run The Jewels’ ‘RTJ4’ Album by djbooth.net

“…a shotgun blast to the face.”

Run The Jewels thrives on the spirit of rebellion. The duo, consisting of Atlanta rapper Killer Mike and New York rapper/producer El-P, has grown from indie one-off to one of the most impressive second winds in rap history. Their music finds the middle ground between cartoonish purist rap thrills and anarchic grit. At their very best, Mike and El-P will have you ready to burn everything in sight.

While RTJ’s music has always maintained an anti-establishment bent, the aggression on their 2016 album Run the Jewels 3, in particular, was channeled through the prism of revolt. In the wake of the deaths of Trayvon Martin and Michael Brown and the election of the 45th President of the United States, RTJ’s lawless spirit made them, however unintentionally, uniquely suited to address a world coming apart at the seams.

In the face of Armageddon, RTJ’s message hit differently. Four years later, with another wave of protests taking place in response to Black death looming large over the world, Run the Jewels are offering their fourth album, aptly titled RTJ4. 

The public needs music directly speaking to the times. Mike and El’s timing is perfect; the stakes have never been higher. Let’s see if the Jewel Runners are up to the challenge.

In usual 1-Listen fashion, the rules are the same: no rewinds, pauses, or skips—a straight shot through followed by my gut reactions. Let’s ride.

1. “Yankee & The Brave (ep. 4)”

Killer Mike opening with DaBaby speed. Man, these drums are THUMPING. “I’mma terrorize the actors playing like they want some drama.” No holds barred. Mike and El-P play rap hot potato like no other. El is floating. “I’m ready to mob on all these charlatans.” The beat sounds like a John Carpenter score stripped for parts and hooked to some boomers. “I can’t let the pig take me, I got too much pride / I meant it when I said it, never take me alive.” This exact energy is what I was hoping for. Revolt music right off rip. No brakes, all nitrous. “Yankee & The Brave” is how you open an album.

2. “Ooh LA LA” feat. Greg Nice & DJ Premier

Did El-P source his drums from fucking mortars? These boys are monstrous. El’s beats are big enough to walk through. I don’t like this hook. Greg Nice’s voice is grating. “When we usher in chaos, remember we did it smiling.” They may be smiling, but Mike and El sound pissed. “Ooh LA LA” isn’t playful music; it’s angry. This song doesn’t leave me shaking the way “Yankee & The Brave” did, but it’s still a nice jolt of catharsis. Premier scratches are always a plus. I’m glad he’s still so revered by rappers across generations.

3. “Out of Sight” feat. 2 Chainz

El-P made a beat out of jumping vocal cuts that would sound at home on a post-apocalyptic workout tape. He never fails to impress. I love hearing references to Public Enemy’s “My Uzi Weighs A Ton.” Mike and El are trading off lines. “I’m only doing what I want by hocking loogies at the swine.” I see why they wanted to push this project up two days. Forget “F*ck The Police,” this is FUCK THE FUCKING COPS. Mike caught a CRAZY flow and held onto it forever. The energy is stabbing me in the chest. If you’ve ever downed a bag of Pop Rocks with nails inside, then, and only then, will you understand the power of “Out Of Sight.” Here comes 2 Chainz. One mention of growing up in poverty, but the rest of his verse is just soulless flexing. It’s not 2 Chainz’ fault, but I’m not tryna hear his verse right now.

4. “Holy Calamafuck”

A reggae sample to start things off. And everything just devolved into a 404 error. The beat is actively falling apart. A line about jacking Supreme jackets and calling out hypebeasts. Are those record scratches or Windows 95 program glitches? I can’t keep my head straight. A line about drones and time elves. “Every other goddamn year I’m brand new / It’s been 20-plus years, you think that’s a clue?” TALK YOUR SHIT, EL. Since the Def Jux days. Mike and El stood the test of time, gotta respect it. These two were born to rap together. “PTSD, streets did the damage.” Mike is pouring his heart out. If the streets run red with blood, “Holy Calamafuck” will be the soundtrack.

5. “Goonies vs. E.T.”

These drums and synths were sourced from space. Mike and El are rapping for their lives. “Goonies vs. E.T.” is pure fucking chaos. How did they keep their heads together recording over this beat? E.T.’s healing touch couldn’t help them. The hook’s not doing much for me—it feels like dead space—but the beat is breathing. Man, this shit is manic. I’m on a sugar high. “The revolution is televised and digitized.” All facts. Mike has one of the most potent rap voices. I can’t see his face, but I know there’s fire in his eyes. “This is people with an attitude in Beverly Hills.” Making people uncomfortable is progress.

6. “Walking In The Snow”

A nice crunchy guitar riff to incite more chaos. The beat just cracked open, and now it sounds like a fucking Tesla coil. I feel more compelled to type the word “fuck” than I ever have during a review. “All oppression’s borne of lies.” El has been talking that talk all across this shit. El sounds like a preacher. “Just got done walking in the snow / Goddamn that muhfucka cold.” Who’s rapping on the hook? OH SHIT, IT’S GANGSTA BOO. Nice surprise. OG needs more love. “Every day on the evening news, they feed you fear for free.” Mike is laying everything out. “I can’t breathe.” That line really hurt. “The most you get is a Twitter rant and called a tragedy.” He’s just talking at this point. Brutal. I know he was fighting back the tears rapping this one. The beat is mutating like crazy. I can’t keep up—breathless rap music at its finest. I love love LOVE this song, holy shit.

7. “Ju$t” feat. Zach De La Rocha & Pharrell Williams

It’s the famous four-count! Pharrell must’ve had a hand in production along with El-P. Pharrell’s voice doesn’t fit into the cracks of this hook; it’s distracting. “Look at all these slave masters posing on your dollar.” Mike is doing call-and-response with himself. He’s talking about corporations co-opting marijuana and pedophiles in high places. “Confuscious say you’d better thug out.” That got me. El has a thing for turning voices into drum patterns. These beats are fun but they will also turn around and rip your throat out if you try them. Here comes Mr. Rage himself, Zach De La Rocha. His voice cuts through everything. I love how analog his voice sounds. He sounds fired up. I’ll take another Rage Against the Machine album, please. Without Pharrell, “Ju$t” would be close to perfect.

8. “Never Look Back”

A little techno bounce to start “Never Look Back.” All I can see in my head is Tron light cycles burning digitized vapors. Was that a Pop Smoke bar? His death still hurts. Mike and El managing to rap about current events and not sound lame is amazing. No other rapper their age could pull off a TikTok bar. Mike is rapping about his mother. Did she pass? Man, that’s heavy. So that’s why it’s called “Never Look Back.” “All that matter is gratitude. Gratitude is everything.” Who’s speaking right now? Can’t make it out. El is talking about how he never saw class or race as a child. Mike follows with, “Never look back, you’ll only be bitter / If you get bitter, you’ll never get better.” They’re confronting demons. RTJ4 feels as immediate and punchy as Mike and El’s respective solo work. Ending with a ticking timer, always coming through with the relief.

9. “The Ground Below”

Is this nu-metal I’m hearing? These guitars and smashing drums are super silly, even by RTJ standards. They rapping, though. “Screaming fuck the world and you can drink what’s coming from my urethra.” El always knows how to rap familiar shit differently. “Not saying it’s a conspiracy but you’re all against me.” Funny. A weird melange of sounds and images, and I’m not sure what to make of it. The raps are crazy, and the beat is kinda growing on me. Easy to believe them saying, “The money never meant much” when they’ve been giving out their albums for free since 2013.

10. “Pulling The Pin” feat. Josh Homme & Mavis Staples

Okay, last two tracks. If you’re gonna name a track “Pulling The Pin,” there’d better be an explosion. Ominous marching and some warbled vocals. “These old foxes got a lot of plots to outfox us.” El hit that Aesop Rock flow real quick. Those chorus vocals are ghostly. Josh Homme is a name I haven’t heard in a long time. Shout out Queens of The Stone Age. “Every cage built needs an occupant.” Is that Mavis Staples? It is! Her vocals are so rich. Staples finding space in this interstellar mayhem is wild. Mavis is my favorite feature so far. There’s much less frivolous shit-talking this time, especially from Mike. “Kicking and screaming while watching the demons collecting the gold and the diamond residuals.” Career-best rapping from Mike. More Mavis, thank God. “There’s a grenade in my heart.”

11. “A Few Words for The Firing Squad (Radiation)”

RTJ4 has been a ride. Ending with the firing squad can’t be a good sign. El starts with a short tribute to his wife. Touching. Mike back to rapping about asking his mom to cling to life. His kids, his wife, and his craft have made him a better man. These are death-bed confessions set to music. Mike and El must be rapping blindfolded, standing in front of the wall and the firing squad. Heartbreaking. “Last word to the firing squad was ‘Fuck you, too.’” Kicking and screaming. It sounds like we’re going out with a big instrumental explosion—saxophone, brass, and reverbed synths and choirs. This is BIG.

Where do Mike and El find the energy to keep expanding their sound like this?

Oh, we’re not done yet.

A narrator is laying down the story of two rebels forced together by the odds. They’re still running with this Yankee & The Brave angle. It’s playing like an end credits song. So… The whole thing’s been a TV show? I’ll admit, this takes away some from the immediacy of Mike and El’s message.

Final (First Listen) Thoughts On Run the Jewels’ RTJ4:

Run the Jewels dropping their fourth album in the middle of a global pandemic and a nationwide uprising is perfect.

The duo crafted a potent mix of braggadocio and political and personal reflection set to beats made for video game boss battles. Both Mike and El deliver career-best work behind the mic, and El-P’s production has only grown more expansive.

Golden-era boom-bap (“Out of Sight,” “Holy Calamafuck”), and murky synth-scapes (“Never Look Back”) are flayed and split open to create digitized warzones. They’re as frantic and restless as the rappers pushing them to their limits.

From beginning to end, RTJ4 is a shotgun blast to the face; an album to turn up to 11 while the precincts burn. Pent-up emotions shoot through every bar, every beat, and every second of breathing room. The anti-police sentiment couldn’t be more timely.

The only time the momentum drags on RTJ4 is when other voices cram into the frame. Several features are either inappropriate (2 Chainz on “Out of Sight”) or distracting (Pharrell on “Ju$t”).

Unintentionally, the running motif of the Yankee & The Brave TV show stifles some of the immediacy from Mike and El’s best verses to date. Maybe the TV show angle will age better in a world where the president didn’t just declare war on his fellow citizens.

Minor missteps aside, Mike and EL understand the stakes at hand. RTJ4 mixes the punchy and the profoundly personal with cartoonish zeal, EPMD by way of Adult Swim’s Superjail! 

Politically and musically, Run the Jewels are done asking for favors. RTJ4 is five-finger discount rap at its finest.

from Listen Review of Run The Jewels’ ‘RTJ4’ Album by djbooth.net