#fuck yeah horror cinematography

[dominogodbane1]

[giantkillerjack]

I have been awake for so so long but like what is the message of Hellraiser (2022) ?

Like I don't need a clear moral; that is generally not a feature in a Clive Barker joint as far as I can tell

But usually there is like

An intentional subtext that I can track in one way or another.

From what I recall of the original Hellraiser film, the central character was almost like a MacBeth-type. Selling her soul and sacrificing others for her own selfish pleasure while her hairstyles got TALLER and her shoulder pads got BIGGER the more evil she got. Classic. She was 90% shoulder pad by the end of the movie. It felt more focused. The story made sense.

But Hellraiser (2022) still seems to end in a lot of innocent queer people being tortured in hell for all eternity as the (very well-acted and honestly very likeable) protagonist accepts that, hey, sometimes our gay brothers get sent to Hell because of our actions and... that is that, I guess.

She is given the chance to resurrect her brother and she turns it down.

And like, it'd be one thing if he was just dead and she chose not to resurrect him because it'd probably be fucked up in a twisted monkey paw way - Grief and regret as a form of torture that impresses even the Cenobites? That is a cool concept! I liked that! Refusing tainted gifts from unknowable and cruel beings and thus taking some control of your own narrative? Cool!

But... if her brother is not in some unknown afterlife and is in fact being eternally tortured, then her choice not to resurrect him takes on some very different tones.

I mean, the movie was effective. The monsters were scary in an unknowable existentially horrifying way. Neat.

But, like many horror stories, I came away feeling like the writers didn't think this all the way through, and so they tripped up at the end.

(Sidenote: Everyone go watch Fear Street 2021 and Candyman 2022 for examples of people not fucking this up. Check trigger lists tho. The former is gory, the latter is Heavy.)

12/10 on Lady!Pinhead tho. Loved her whole vibe and how she was framed.

The torture effects were way less abhorrent than most CGI, but I still yearn for the days of practical effects in horror. DUMP SOME FUCKIN BLOOD AND GOOP ON THE ACTORS SHOW A LITTLE HEART FOR GODSAKE

Anyway, this is just to say that if you make a horror movie with no point to it, I hope you rip your pants while you're on a date.

And if you make a BORING horror movie with no point to it, I hope you get haunted by a real-ass ghost.

And if you make a 12-hour horror series with no point, well.... I found this really cool box, and-- yeah, it's like a puzzle... no, you can hold it; try it out, see if you can solve it....

[superectojazzmage]

Just back from Alien Romulus and hoooo boy oh boy. Review/analysis.

Easily the best Alien movie since the first two, which isn't saying much, yeah, but it is legit a really cool and well-made movie, competing with Late Night With The Devil, Longlegs, and Cuckoo for title of my favorite horror movie this year.

In a lot of ways it's about harvesting the few good ideas from the post-2 movies that were squandered and doing them right, plus getting the series back to it's healthier roots, kinda the movie equivalent of someone doing physical therapy to get back in the saddle after an injury. This means it's not quite brand new ground like some may hope for and I've heard some people feel it gets a little derivative at points because of it. I can kinda agree and certainly understand that criticism, but I feel it does what it's aiming for really well and sets things up for future works to go in even crazier directions. Furthermore, it takes a lot of time to try and weld together the disparate post-2 movies in a way that brings the series back to a little coherency.

The atmosphere is really intense and cool, swinging between lovecraftian dread and build-up and high-energy chaos. The aesthetics and special effects are gorgeous, taking full advantage of the progress that technology has made since 2 plus really digging in to the used cassette future vibe of the older films. The characters are likable and actually intelligent (or at least understandable) in behavior like in the first two movies, so you care about what's happening to them instead of just waiting for them to get munched. The action and kills were really cool and creative, the cinematography in general was off-kilter in an awesome way - there's a definite attempt to make the movie feel claustrophobic and intimate. Fede Alvarez did a fantastic job in general, I'd love to see him do more with the series.

It REALLY cranks up the series' psychosexual, freudian, and sexual assault subtext, arguably to a point where it's just plain text. So if you're sensitive to stuff like that or if this is your first go at Alien, be warned for that.

More specific notes go under the header for spoilers. Highly recommend you go in as blind as you can.

Andy and Rain were wonderful leads, their dynamic was fantastic and Calie Spaeny and David Jonsson both turned in great performances. I direly hope they join the first two films' casts as "major" characters for the series going forward.

The effects to make Daniel Betts look like Ian Holms were quite possibly the one and only time the special effects failed. It looks very wonky, which is sad because Betts does a really good job copying Holms' mannerisms for Ash while still making Rook feel like a distinct character.

In addition to the usual themes of sexual unease, genetics, and parenthood, this movie adds in some really interesting themes of familial legacy, the rise of new generations, foundations, etc.. Andy and Rain are like Romulus and Remus of myth, orphaned and left to fend for themselves but growing into founders of a new age - both in-story with their carrying the XX121 substance and evidence of Weyland-Yutani's misdeeds to Yvaga and out-of-story with them being the protagonists of a new era for Alien. Likewise, the Offspring is the first example of an entirely new species, neither human nor alien but taking from the lineages of both through Kay and Big Chap, a Romulus-like founder of it's breed that will later bear fruit in Resurrection with the Ripley clone and Newborn.

I'm really not kidding when I say above that the psychosexual undercurrents are taken to the extreme here. This movie basically sees the ways the original film subtly pin-pricked at those themes, says "fuck that", and deliberately rubs it in your face in a way designed to make sure you can't ignore it. It wants you to be grossed out and to squirm in your chair and it knows exactly how to make it happen.

Alvarez noted in the lead-up to release that he took a lot of influence from Isolation and you can definitely see that in how he depicts the Xenomorphs and the general aura of the film. He further described it as a kind of halfway point between the first and second movies and you can also see that; it has the Lovecraft-style tension and horror of the first, balanced with the energy and action of the second, and it does a really good job finding a middle ground between Ridley Scott and James Cameron's styles while also doing it's own dance.

I mentioned way back at the start how the movie basically harvests the good ideas from 3, Resurrection, Prometheus, and Covenant and gives them the room they deserve while dumping the bad. It does that in both terms of themes/style and continuity/lore. Concepts that those movies bungled like xeno-human hybridism, the black goo, genetic engineering as a focus, and so on are done here more creatively and competently. Themes that those films tried and failed to tackle are handled with significantly more grace. It has the atmosphere and characterization of 3 but none of it's baggage and needlessly depressive tone. It has the body horror and weirdness of Resurrection without taking it to the zany, embarrassing areas that movie went. The effects and creativity of Prometheus and Covenant without any of their awful writing and clumsy messages. Alvarez takes on kind of an Al Ewing-esque "repairman" writing style here.

The Xenomorphs are absolutely deranged in behavior compared to most portrayals, attacking like either cruel sadists or raging chimps and rarely bothering to take hosts. I'm not sure if such a reading was intended, but I got the vibe that the idea is Xenos raised without a queen or hive grow to be basically sociopathic like how real world predatory animals grown without parental figures become feral and dysfunctional. Which would also explain a lot about how the Xeno in the original movie, Big Chap, acts there.

The Offspring's design is fucking wicked and I love it.

One of my few major criticisms is that Big Chap died off-screen instead of getting more to do. What was the point of having him be alive at the start if he wasn't gonna be used beyond a backstory point to set up the main story?

All in all, a very impressive effort and a great return to form for the series that I recommend highly.

[insult-2-injury]

Scream Queen - Part 1/2

Gojo Satoru/FemReader

When it comes to horror films, Gojo considers himself a connoisseur. He knows a good chase when he sees one, and he's had his sights set on you for a long time.

AO3 Link

NSFW, 6.3k wc, porn with plot, dirty talk, fingering, pussy eating, masturbation, mild predator/prey

Part 1

Gojo had picked the horror flick that night. Had insisted it was critically acclaimed. But it was just some campy thing where the heroine was running all too slow down a flickering hallway, her screams serving only to alert the pursuing monster of her exact location. The woman’s hair was as beautifully curled as when she’d arrived, her skirt hiked up to her upper thighs, tank top torn in a way that left little to the imagination. 

“‘Amazing cinematography’ my ass,” you mumbled. You lay sleepily on Gojo’s couch, head in his lap, his fingers carding through your hair.

“You don’t like?” 

“She’s tripped over six times.”

“Yeahhh she’s a little clumsy,” he agreed. “But try and think about it this way: every time she stumbles, her tits go bananas. I mean talk about breaking the fourth wall.”

The woman ran into a room, barricading the door with just a weak press of her shoulder, weeping hysterically. You pointed at the screen, livid. “I can literally see a cameraman standing in the corner! Critically acclaimed? Really?”

“Yeah. Critically acclaimed by my penis.” He frowned. “Did I not say that?”

“No, actually, you failed to mention that, deviant.”

The tug of sleep was beginning to draw your eyes closed, the warmth of his thigh and the drone of shitty TV lulling you into a dreamlike trance. It was a rare occasion that you didn’t like the movies Gojo picked out; in fact this was a first. He actually had a surprising eye for pretty things and a knack for picking out quality flicks you’d never even heard of. But this was… decidedly un-epic.

The sound of wood splintering through indicated the start of yet another chase sequence that you couldn't care less about witnessing.

“Couldn’t be me,” you mumbled, melting further into his lap with a deep sigh, eyes finally closing. “I’m fast as fuck.”

“Yeah?” His voice held more than a touch of amusement. “You’re alright.”

With a cursed technique that granted you a speed on par with the all famous Gojo Satoru, you’d fare more than alright in a horror film.

“You could never catch me.”

The fingers in your hair paused for a good minute before he responded.

“You think?” he said.

Your only response was a sleepy hum.

“Hm.” The fingers continued. “Alright.”

You were too tired to think much of it, honestly, or the fact that you had inadvertently issued a challenge to the most insufferably competitive man you’d ever met. 

As your breathing slowed, his touch switched almost absentmindedly to the shell of your exposed ear, sweeping softly along the curve of it. Back and forth. Goosebumps tracked down your arms and you shivered, pulling your legs so tight to your chest that they knocked into his. You opted to ignore the puff of amusement from above – not like you could help that his couch was so comfortable.

Not to mention his apartment was bafflingly huge compared to your 400 square foot rabbit cage – with one of those open plan living spaces boasting enough area to plant a giant sectional couch right smack in the middle of it. But for how filthy rich he was, the place wasn’t ostentatious at all. It was cozy. Blessedly quiet, too, in comparison, even with the constant murmur of background noise that you were convinced Gojo would drop dead without. 

His apartment had become somewhat of a home base in recent months for you to decompress after tough missions. It hadn’t been easy finding friends since your move to Tokyo. Not that Gojo had started out as anything close to one. You’d hated his guts at first, actually. Still did sometimes - your first meeting ending with you fuming and him grinning down at you like you were the funniest little creature. He had a habit of that, making people feel small, what with his 6 '3 string bean stature and a perma-smirk that did little to fight off the asshole allegations.

You weren’t sure if you could deign to call whatever this was a friendship, either, with the two of you pushing each other’s buttons like it was your sworn duty to do so. But the bickering was a strange sort of constant in your life, and jujutsu sorcerers didn’t get many of those. So you showed up here time and time again for what? Normalcy? Comfort? Something like that. You just took it for what it was, and Gojo was certainly never one to complain about company.

You dozed off to the thought of how surprisingly cushy his thigh was, even if he was built like a string bean.

A sharp pinch on your earlobe jolted you awake. In an instant, you’d snatched the offending wrist and pulled yourself up. “Ow! The hell was that about?!” 

“Whoopsie! Sorry ‘bout that.” Gojo shrunk back from you, his sheepish apology so comically phony he reminded you of a kitten caught testing its boundaries. “Got scared. Hand slipped.”

“You’re so full of shit.”

“Sheesh. Careful, no second chances with this one.” 

He was being extra annoying tonight, and you said as much. Grumpily, you released your hold of him and he made a real show of it: inspecting for bruises, rubbing at his wrist and shaking his hand out like he’d been in iron shackles. Worst of all, the movie seemed like it was only a little past the halfway point, which means he hadn’t let you sleep through much of it at all. 

“Well.” You clapped your hands together. “you’ve just got to fill me in on what I missed.”

He inhaled.

“Sarcasm.”

His bottom lip stuck out in a pout, his head falling against his shoulder as he regarded you.

“You’re so mean to me.”

With a dramatic huff, you turned and collapsed back into the couch beside him, rubbing the sleep from your eyes with the heels of your palms. With senses so finely attuned to Gojo’s impulsive tendencies by now, you blindly knocked his hand away with your forearm before he could reach out to aggressively ruffle your hair in retaliation.

Just as smug as he could be, you crossed your arms and smirked. You’d found he often liked to justify inciting violence by lecturing how a good sorcerer was always on their guard. Well, guess what.

“Who’s the strongest now, bitch? That’s twice now I’ve blocked your ass.”

You caught the tail end of his quiet, mournful suffering – “could’ve seriously been injured…” 

“You have a weak constitution.”

He pointed at himself, looking around the room as if to say ‘me?!’  You nodded solemnly.

“Uh oh, I smell jealousyyy,” he sang, fingers drumming a scattered beat on the leather behind your head.

“Yeah? What of?”

He raised his chin with a dazzling smile. “My dainty, effeminate wrists, of course!”

Despite your best attempt, you snorted a laugh. Damn if he didn’t look pleased as punch about it, too.

“Strongest,” you scoffed. “You can’t even stand up from the couch without groaning. Let’s get you home, grandpa…reduced to bone dust if someone tightened your watch band a little too hard–”

You let out an angry squeal when the fingers behind you finally seized the chance to reach up and tousle your hair– not in the cute little gesture of affection kind of way. More in the pure violence for violence sake kind of way. You threw your arms over your head, forehead tucking into your folded knees, shouting over his witchy cackle.

“Strongest guy at the bingo table more like! Stop. Stop!” You smacked at his accosting hand blindly but it was like swatting at a relentless swarm of bees. “THAT’S ENOUGH.”

With one final ruffle, he let you go. You threw him your fiercest scowl.

“I hate you.”

His fiendish laughter trailed into the low, drawn out sound of your name, hummed with a purring appreciation that had your stomach flipping oddly, twisting in knots. You froze. Dear lord, when had you gravitated so close to him? If you tipped your head back, you’d be lying on the crook of his elbow. 

Quickly, you averted your gaze and got to work on your hair, smoothing down the devastation he had wreaked upon it. But strangely, his touch never quite left you, knuckles stroking gently at the base of your neck in an unfamiliar act of intimacy. You waited for him to launch an attack again, but he didn’t. Just quietly kneaded his fingers into your spine. The whole thing left you feeling a little stranded by what seemed like an unnerving insinuation of closeness, gaining an invisible weight to it the longer it went uncontested by you.

You blinked and spouted the first lie you could conjure up.

“You make for a terrible pillow, by the way.”

He made a throaty noise of disappointment, studying you a moment longer before turning his attention back to the movie, touch abandoning your neck. “Come into my home…” 

“And I’ll walk right back out of it if you’re not careful.”

“Ooh, consider me scared!”

“You should be scared.”

“Don’t I know it.” His long form slouched impossibly further down into his seat, his fingers lacing over his chest before he barked out one startlingly loud laugh, as if he’d just remembered you’d said the funniest thing. “Careful,” he said, a self-satisfied grin beginning to creep across his lips. “You would hate careful.”

You frowned. “What–”

“Don’t worry about it, sweetheart,” he waved you off. “You can do whatever you want.”

Your jaw clenched at the pet name. But still it took a moment for your brain to kick back into gear. It was just… the way he’d said it that gave you pause, like he knew something you didn’t.

“Shit movie,” was all you could think to say.

“Yep,” he said, popping the ‘p’, sitting there still with a far-too-pleased grin.

Hit with a sudden bout of nerves, you turned to the coffee table, which was littered with a variety of sweet snacks he’d fished out of his cupboard. Stomach already full and strongly protesting to anything more, you panic-swiped two kit kats and jammed them into your mouth, taking the opportunity to scooch yourself away from him.

For a guy whose cursed technique allowed him to control space, Gojo was awfully oblivious to the concept of it. He was a taker; give him room to spread and he would take it unapologetically. It was no different now, his long form stretching immediately into your space again. His knee chased yours almost mindlessly, leg knocking into yours, bouncing there with a fervor.

“Stop.”

He looked at you with a raised brow. “Heh?”

“You’re encroaching.” 

His gaze flicked down, noticing the personal space violation for the first time, blinking, making a small hum of decision. He leaned in close, murmuring into your ear. “Well here’s an idea, yeah?” He grabbed your knee with an outstretched palm. “Go on and walk right out of here, then.”

You could only pray the movie was loud enough that he didn’t hear your breath catch. God, his hands were huge, his long, spidery grip bleeding warmth across your lower thigh and knee.

The feel of Gojo’s breath swept across your cheek as he observed your reactions closely. And you couldn’t help but gulp as a different, more alarming heat burned its way slowly up your thigh like a lit wick.

A thumb brushed featherlight across your bare skin, the pads of his fingers beginning to crawl gently inward to tickle the sensitive skin at the inside of your knee. You quickly jerked your leg away.

“Here’s an idea,” you sputtered, fumbling to find anything clever to say and failing miserably, “stop… being the way that you are.”

“Uh. Alright.” Gojo scratched his head, pulling back to give you the space you thought you wanted. “Don’t know what you want me to do about that, really. Sheesh. What’s a guy to do? Not like I can stop being hot or a genius or whatever. You want me to just ‘say goodbye’ to my baby blues?” He cupped his palm over his mouth in hushed confidentiality. “My giant horse cock?”

You made a horrible retching sound.

He shrugged away your disgust. “Just sayin’, you’ve gotta see it to believe it.”

“Cut it out.”

It was like you’d told him there was strawberry cake on the ceiling the way his eyes lit up, rolled back in his skull, jaw dropping as he threw his head back in fake ecstasy. And you just knew what he was about to do.

Your fist pulled back to prepare what should’ve been a non-punch to his infinity. 

“Stop or I will punch all the way through you.”

In an outrageously high-pitched, shrill voice, Gojo moaned.

“Make me, daddy–!”

The words were cut short by a choked grunt as he allowed your fist to connect to the soft of his stomach. Hard. His head lolled backward, a long, appreciative groan slipping from between an open-mouthed grin. The slender column of his throat bobbed as the raunchy noise dissolved into giggles. And you might as well have been struck in the gut yourself with how violently you yanked yourself back from him.

Because Gojo Satoru was beautiful like this. In that stupid, unfair way that made you want to run your tongue up and down his neck just once to see if he was made of real flesh and blood. You shook the thought from your head.

“You’re so weird.”

“You think so?” he asked, voice just a touch raspy.

‘Yeah. I do.”

His eyes rolled coyly to the side to meet yours.

“Brat.”

“Pervert.”

Gojo lifted his head lazily, perfect tufts of snow white falling across his forehead, a dangerous grin stretching slow and wide across his face. “Babe, you have no idea.”

Your face heated, nerves shooting off like a flurry of butterfly wings in your chest. You wanted to hiss at him. What was he playing at anyway? He’d flirt with the likes of a potted fern, but still.

It wasn’t something you could afford to think too hard on. This was just who he was: an irredeemable flirt, someone who couldn’t help but poke around the edges of boundaries just to test the strength of the fenceline. A guy like him wasn’t interested in the long term, anyway, and probably wouldn’t last with someone who didn’t want to sit around and stroke his vanity all day. 

Besides, it was nobody’s business but your own whether you occasionally thought about how it might slap his thighs when he walked.

To your growing horror, you found yourself unable to tear your wide eyes away from his; gaping far too long to chalk it up to a mental hiccup. And he was eating it right up if his stupidly smug smirk was anything to go by. 

You fell back into your earlier TV watching position, but instead of settling your head in his lap like before, you curled yourself beside him, the crown of your head pressing against his outer thigh. Safer that way, better to avoid his gaze. Mortification burned bright and unbearable in your chest. 

“Stop staring. And stop calling me babe.”

“Why should I?”

“Because,” you said sharply.

“Because,” Gojo considered, nodding, seeming to roll the word out on his tongue. He laughed, insincere. “Because! You’re so right.”

You remained stubbornly silent. The pad of his thumb dropped to smooth over the deepening scrunch of your brows and you barely allowed it to stay. It was just a thing with Gojo; his hands always had to be fiddling with something, touching something. And you were usually the closest thing.

That was all.

“Ya know, you get all twitchy when you’re nervous,” his voice purred from above. “You nervous?”

Having little hope that he missed the small shudder that tracked your spine, you craned your neck to shoot him a warning look. But the sight that greeted you had you forgetting how to breathe.

Gojo was studying you with a shocking intensity, the glowing Six Eyes flicking between yours like he was carefully mapping you out. The ghost of a fascinated, greedy sort of grin curled at one corner of his mouth, seeming only to deepen at the sight of your unease. You dropped your head back into the couch, squeezing your eyes shut to will away the stone of want that had lodged itself firmly at the base of your throat. 

“Can I ask you a question?” 

“Never been able to stop you before,” you snipped.

Gojo hummed, undeterred. 

So sly that you hardly registered what he was doing until his shadow was looming over you, he repositioned himself, one leg sliding onto the couch so he could turn sideways to fully lean over your balled up form. With a quick move and a scooch forward, you found your head propped on his lap again.

A large palm cut off your furious protests, sliding to cup gently beneath your jaw, two fingers grazing over your clattering pulse. A calloused thumb slid across the seam of your downturned lips.

“Do you like feeling helpless?” he asked softly.

You stilled as a drop of startling heat slithered between your legs. His hand drifted down the column of your throat to follow the contraction of your nervous swallow, like he’d predicted it, like he was fine-tuning an instrument. Shit, you felt so small tucked into his lap like this.

You averted your eyes back to the movie.

“Serial killer question,” you said, wretchedly anxious with him peering down, every tiny response of yours seeming to be dissected and filed away for something sinister.

You pretended to be invested in whatever Oscar-worthy, nonsensical bullshit was happening on screen, the woman now captured in the monster's clutches. That is, until you were thrown headfirst into a crippling silence.

“Hey! I was watching that.”

The remote landed with a loud clatter on the coffee table. “Sorry, baby. Can’t have you holding out on me.”

And then suddenly, the real horror was right here in the dead quiet. The only light source was a soft overhead. With a burst of anger drawn up from a slowly drying well, you rolled onto your back, glowering up at him.

“Can I fucking help you?!”

“Mhmm.”

Your teeth clenched. “What are you even talking about, helpless?”

Gojo propped back on one hand and pretended to think about it. “Ah, you knowww. Scream queen style or whatever. When the cards are down and you’re all played out.” His eyes flicked down your form to where your hands twisted nervously into the bottom of your t-shirt. Then back up, voice dropping pensively. “So fast you’ve probably never felt it, though… being chased down like that, backed into a corner. Never been challenged the way you deserve, I bet. You like the thought of someone who can keep up with you?”

If the body was a chest of drawers, yours overturned all at once. Someone who could keep up with you… Challenge you. Like… him? Your jaw clenched. A desire you didn’t even know you had settled with a pulsing heat in your lower belly.

“So, what I’m hearing, and correct me if I’m wrong.” You stopped, centered yourself with a deep breath. “What I’m hearing is you asking whether I’d get off on being chased?!?

“Get off on it?” Gojo’s jaw dropped, acting as if the idea had only just occurred to him. “Wow. Uh. Dirty girl. Well. Sure I mean, yeah. If you want.”

Your nails scraped across the leather of the couch, trying to distract yourself from how ridiculously enticing the idea was. Because it shouldn’t be at all. Nope. Not to a well-adjusted person. What made it exponentially worse was that the longer you went without storming out of his apartment, the more Gojo looked at you like the cat about to eat the canary. And damn it all, you didn’t hate it.

No. You hated that you didn’t hate it.

“If I want?” you grit out. “First of all, there’s something wrong with you if you get your rocks off on the idea of hunting women. Elmer Fudd over here. Get a grip.”

He smirked. “Be nice, kitty cat.”

Using your elbows, you shoved yourself up, whirling around to sit on your heels so you could better set him on fire with your eyes. 

“Why should I?!” you spat his earlier words back in his face.

Gojo went still, his slightly widened eyes flitting across your red-faced indignation. His gaze dropped to your lips as he chewed on his own for the span of a few breaths. Finally, he clucked his tongue. Whistled softly.

“Well, shit,” Gojo said. “Would ya look at that.”

Without an ounce of shame, his hand slid down the front of his pants.

“Wha–”

 “Sorryyy,” he sung. “Mind of his own, it’s the darndest thing!”

You gawked at him in disbelief as he casually adjusted himself.

“Really, man?!”

“Oh relaaax. Ever seen one before? Wanna take a peek?”

You tried to clear the image of those long fingers wrapping his cock, bringing himself to completion for you with that same groan he’d demonstrated for you earlier.  The thought had you too hot in your skin. 

“I’ll kill you. They’ll never stop finding your body.”

“Oh, keep going, I’m almost there!” he groaned theatrically before he shot you a cheeky, lopsided grin. “Gotta give it to you, babe, you really know how to get a guy goin’. I’m half hard and we haven’t even started.” His head cocked just a degree further and suddenly the playful grin he sported gained a sharp, predatory edge, voice dropping in low warning. “Keep looking at me like that. All angry. Sweetens the deal at the end of this thing. Makes it allll worth the wait.”

You swallowed, throat like sandpaper. “Deal?”

“When I catch you.”

You should walk out. You should walk right back out, like you said you would.

Unfortunately, your silence spoke volumes. Frustrated on several different levels, your hands flew up to cover your eyes, fingers pressing into the lids until you saw spots. But nothing could distract from the hyper awareness of the ache between your thighs.

“What do you want?” you asked, voice sounding small.

A long-fingered hand encircled each of your wrists, prying your hands away from your face. He held them hostage, pinning them to your upper thighs so you couldn’t retreat as he leaned in. Your heart stopped when his cheek brushed past yours.

“What I want is the whole thing. Listen. I love it when you play dumb with me. Seriously I do,” Gojo murmured into your ear. “But I think we’ve been sitting on the same page here for quite some time now, yeah? All the fighting, dancin’ around the tension and whatnot. I mean it’s sexy as hell, don’t get me wrong, but we both know it’s just extra bullshit.”

Your entire being was up in flames, face so hot you wondered if he could feel the heat emanating off your cheeks, his own pressed so tightly to yours he could probably feel your jaw work out a response.

“Make your point.”

He laughed, dipped his head, the tip of his nose nuzzling down the slope of your neck. The tiny, experimental flutter of warmth against your skin made you twitch, but the sudden hot drag of his tongue had you violently shuddering, searching for purchase until suddenly you were the one holding onto him, fingers digging into his shoulders. You could practically hear his arrogant smile as he breathed you in long and slow, the following sigh one of genuine contentment.

Gojo leaned back to have a look at you, disgustingly pleased with himself.

“Sure thing. I’ll make my point,” he said. Your arms felt strangely bereft when he moved out of your space, falling limply at your sides. Casual as could be, Gojo settled back into the couch, one ankle perched over his thigh, fingers clasping together like the two of you were discussing weather patterns. “Here’s the thing. I wanna find you, chase you, and fuck you in that order. Think you’d like somethin’ like that? Being pinned down with my cock in you?”

His eyes dropped to the motion of the unsubtle squeeze of your thighs, a razor sharp smile spreading slow across his lips.

“Yeah,” he purred. “Always thought you might.”

“You don’t know shit.”

His eyes flicked back to yours.

“I know that pussy has to be nice and wet by now.” Another spasm of want rocketed between your legs. God, he was so arrogant. “No shame in it, sweetheart. Tell me I’m wrong and I’ll drop the whole thing.”

A palm settled on your knee, thumb stroking in a gesture of mock comfort. His voice was soft. “Orrr you could just admit you’re making a mess of your panties right now hearing me talk like this.”

It was like your strings were cut all at once, your chin tipping to your chest as you lost whatever self-preservation instinct you had left. “Shit,” you whispered.

A finger hooked into the bend of one of your knees, tugging invitingly. His hum was a soft, rolling lull.

“Come here and sit on me.”

You may have been cracking, folding beneath the weight of your desire, but nothing could have dulled the precision of the homicidal glare you leveled him with. 

“Think you have it in you to shut up for like six seconds?”

Gojo laughed. “Damn, my girl gets mean when she’s frustrated, huh?” At your lack of response, his smile dwindled and he seemed to truly consider you, taking in your stiff form. His gaze fell unabashedly between your legs again, tongue running along his teeth in deliberation. “You want me to eat you out a little? Loosen you up?”

Your jaw clenched as the mental image tore across your mind: hooded blue eyes looking up from between your legs, warm tongue put to work lapping at your cunt – he always did like to stay busy. Shit, why could you conjure up that image so well? 

Because Gojo had looked at you like that before, hadn’t he? Like he wanted to take you apart, piece you back together. You’d just been too blind to see it.

He continued, his other hand reaching out now so both were hooked behind your knees. “Yeah… Yeah. That’s what you need. About time, too, huh. Makes my dick so hard just thinking about it. C’mere.”

“I don’t–”

In a single movement, you were pulled off balance, falling flat on your back. He cut off your yelp of outrage, seized your ankles, spun and dragged you to the edge of the couch, your thighs now bracketing his. You squirmed, head spinning as you panted up at him with searching eyes. It wasn’t a comfortable position you’d been suddenly squeezed into, your head bent awkwardly against the back of the couch, trapped in a slouched position by the oppressive energy coming from the man standing between your spread legs.

Gojo loomed above. His fingers twitched at his sides, drawing your attention there and then directly over to the glaring evidence of his arousal pressing against the front of his pants. Your breath caught in your throat.

“Feels like I really don’t even have to check,” he breathed, hungry gaze trailing across your body like he couldn’t decide what to focus on. “Just know you’re soaking. It’s crazy.”

“Tell me I’m wrong,” he said again, tongue darting out to wet his lips. Last chance.

“I– you’re… F-fuck you.” His grin was deadly, eyes sparkling in dark victory. It was unsettling, how much you wanted to fall headfirst into that blue.

Gojo Satoru collapsed on his knees like he was about to start muttering prayers. He tugged you closer, the weight of his head falling against your inner thigh with a satisfied hum. Laying there so he could simply observe the slight quiver in your legs as he slowly drew his oversized palms up and down any bare skin available to him.

“Fuck. Look at you,” he murmured, breath sweeping across the damp crotch of your sleep shorts like he was talking right into your clothed pussy. 

At the sound of your tiny, pathetic squeak, his shoulders shuddered violently. He slid forward, fingers hooking into the hem of your shorts, teasing there. His eyes raised with a hooded intensity, holding yours for a few heated seconds. Terribly slow, he let his jaw drop, tongue unveiling itself, and leaned forward to press it firm and flat against the thin fabrics covering your entrance, letting the heat bleed from his mouth. A groan choked out of your throat, coming out more as a grating wheeze, the noise met with a gleaming, wicked satisfaction.

“So the…” you swallowed thickly, voice so ragged it was almost completely foreign. “The thing with eating pussy is you have to remove my-”

There was a sharp, reprimanding smack on your thigh. “Don’t start.”

You half expected him to rip your shorts right off; you wouldn’t have been opposed. But Gojo instead rolled the hem down little by little, so torturously slow your fingers ached with how hard they dug into the couch with anticipation. He nipped, sucked bruises into the skin as it was exposed, gently guiding you to lift your hips so he could pull your bottoms the rest of the way.

His eyes danced in wonder across the arousal that you could feel being squeezed from you just by his appraisal. “Shit,” he exhaled, his warm breath brushing gently across your soaking cunt. You gasped, legs automatically attempting to clamp together. To get away. When was the last time you’d been this vulnerable to anyone? 

“No, no. Nope. None of that,” he reprimanded, pushing your knees into your chest, spreading your legs more lewdly for his perusal. “Lemme see what I did to you.”

“I– I c-can’t.” You averted your gaze. It was all too much: the sight of Gojo Satoru kneeling between your legs, looking as if he’d let the world burn just to get a taste of you. He breathed across you again, his mouth so damn close that you wanted to start tearing at his hair.

“Shit,” he said again. “Pussy got hot hearing me talk about how hard I’m gonna fuck it later.”

You couldn’t help but let out a muffled cry when two fingers stroked down your slit, pressing against the entrance to your pussy, swirling there. He coated the tips of his fingers thoroughly in your wetness, raising them to the light just to slowly scissor them apart. Watch your own fluid stretch thin between them before going back for more, just lightly teasing. Your face felt impossibly hot, chest rising and falling in short gasps, chasing the stroke of his fingers, needing something to clench around, the slow spread of your slick too ridiculously loud in the quiet room.

“You always this wet for me, baby?”

“I d-didn’t think your head could get any bigger.”

Gojo hummed in amusement, giving no warning before he began to slowly ease two fingers inside you. A string of expletives punctuated the air as your cunt throbbed and clamped down in relief, accepting him greedily.

“Look at that,” he said, hooking the long digits inside you and pulling another whimpered curse from your lips. He took his time dragging them out, pushing them back in with an obscene squelch. “You’re a sweet girl letting me finger fuck you like this. Shit, look at your pussy suckin’ on my fingers. So fucking hot… my girl letting me do this to her.”

“You–You’re- I d-” You attempted to mouth off, snap back that you didn’t belong to him, but a targeted curl of his fingers cut you off at the pass. 

“I know,” he crooned. “Feels good, doesn’t it?”

A thumb pressed into your clit and your back arched as bolts of pleasure shot up your spine, hips rolling with the pump of his fingers, chasing more. You needed more. You couldn’t even breathe you needed it so badly.

Gojo bit the inside of your thigh, moaning obscenely and latching harder when you yelped in pain and smacked him hard in the head. 

“Ow. What the– what the fuck,” you gasped, although you hadn’t really disliked it at all. He soothed the sting away with little licks.

“Sorry,” he said insincerely, voice in shreds now, strained with an odd concentration. “Wouldn’t believe how many times I’ve whacked off to the thought of this right here. But now look at you spreading your pretty legs for me. Still tryin’ to act like you’re not starved for my cock after all this time. Making me wait like that. Dripping your cum all over my couch. Makes me fucking crazy. Filthy girl. You’re my filthy girl, aren’t you? Ffuck,” he hissed. 

It took you too long in your blissed out state to realize his shoulders were rocking slightly, and not just from the push and pull of his fingers inside you. “And my sweet girl’s gonna let me hunt her down, isn’t she? Spit on her tits, slap her, fuck her from behind.”

You couldn’t see it, but there was no doubt now that Gojo was masturbating himself in tandem. Thrusting his hips, not fast enough to relieve himself, just to appease the torment. God, he was vulgar, he was disgusting. He was sexy. He was the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen.

With a wet schlick, his fingers pulled out of you. And you could only assume from the way both his gaze and hand fell down to his lap that he was spreading your cum along his cock. Fingers wrapping himself, Gojo choked on something between a salacious moan and a manic laugh. His eyes slid up to yours dangerously.

A quick flash of pink was all you got before he was leaning forward and sliding his tongue through your drenched folds. Finally, you let loose the keening cry that had been stuck in your chest. Your spine felt close to snapping with how hard it pulled taut, your fingers leaping from their death grip into the couch cushion to embed deep in his soft hair, unsure whether to push him away or pull him closer.

A long, appreciative groan came from deep in his chest and he sighed, relaxed further into his task. One hand fisted around his cock, the other wrapped round one of your thighs to draw you closer, hand splaying across your lower belly to better hold you down. The rough pad of his thumb found your clit, dragging tight circles. 

With long strokes of his tongue, he lapped at the wetness collecting at your entrance. You wanted him to go higher, needed his mouth elsewhere, for that wet heat to replace the thumb steadily masturbating you. You dipped your hips to guide him there but he didn’t relent, tongue fucking into your cunt with the same aching slowness. It was like this wasn’t even for you.

“Gojo,” you said weakly. He just hummed, the vibration sending arcs of pleasure up your spine. God you were so close already. You just needed… “G-Gojo.”

Still he didn’t speed up, acted like he hadn’t even heard you. And it pissed you right off. He wanted the whole thing, didn’t he? He’d said that before. Gojo Satoru wanted you. Badly. He was good, but so were you. Gojo was a man who took. Had taken his entire life. He didn’t want someone who sat around and stroked his vanity. No. He wanted someone who took, too. He wanted you.

A rising anger loosened your tongue.

“Gojo, you f-fucking prick,” you spat. “Take your hand off your fucking cock and do this the right way.”

Deliberately, his tongue pulled from you, thumb still working you at an infuriatingly slow pace. A lazy, dangerous grin began to crawl across his lips, still wet with your juices.

“Careful,” he warned.

“I hate careful.”

Something dazed crossed his face then, like you’d struck him square across the face. He shuddered, his eyes darkening, glimmering suddenly with an almost terrifying devotion.

And then both his hands were on you.

Arms wrapped under your thighs, palms splaying to lock your hips down completely. A blessed heat enveloped your clit with a gentle suction, tongue fluttering where you had so desperately needed it.

“Ffffff” was all you could manage, your back arching, unable to even watch him like you wanted to as your body contorted with the pleasure shooting to a quick crescendo. 

“Shitshitshitshit,” you cried, fingers yanking at his hair, uncaring whether it hurt him, shoving his face impossibly further into your pussy. A vulgar, encouraging groan left him and with one final suck and a flicker of his tongue, you were sailing into oblivion. You clawed at him, a string of filthy curses stuck in your throat as you spasmed against him. It was long, debilitating, and drawn out by warm, slow slides of his tongue against you as he continued to lap up what you spilled, murmuring soft praises.

Your spine laid flat against the couch again as you collapsed with satisfaction, the pleasure still buzzing like a livewire across your skin. You twitched with sensitivity when his thumbs spread you apart, observing the final, tiny convulsions of your pussy.

“I– you’re amazing,” he groaned, like he was imagining himself deep inside you. “God, baby I… I wanna ruin you. My fucking cock is…” His forehead fell between your thighs for a second, like he was gathering himself. “I’m so fucking hard.”

Gojo leaned back on his heels as you sat up, assisting as you pulled your pants back up. He helped you up on shaky legs, until the two of you stood looking at each other, him unmoving, just eyeing you silently with a dark intensity. 

Gently, you pulled his face down to yours, placing a short, gentle kiss to his lips.

You pulled back. 

“I really do hope you’re as fast as they say you are.”

And you disappeared.

[therabbitthatpostthings]

Okay let’s talk about Murder Drones Finale 😭😭😭

SPOILERS FOR EP 8! ALL OF IT. MURDER DRONES SPOILERS HERE

First off that opening was so cool. Brayden's still on fucking fire, the teacher is so over it. I love it.

Nuzi being Cringe!

THEY ARE SO FUCKING CRINGE YOUR HONOR I LOVE THEM! Uzi asked are they dating and he says "That was the plan!" I LOVE THEMMMMM OMGGGG! I can't get a good screenshot of it but they do wrap they tails together during the fall.

The Animation

I just- it's so fucking good. The red lights as the planet is destroyed. The way that the purple light of Uzi's Null reflects on Cyn's robotic and flesh parts. This is an episode you gotta watch frame by frame. I'm just gonna lump cinematography and shot choices in here too. Like the only way for everyone to truly understand what I'm talking about I NEED YOU TO WATCH THE EPISODE! Like it's well known that every episode is a reference to a horror movie, the Prom is Carrie, Cabin Fever is Friday the 13th, etc. I feel like we don't appreciate how scary this show actually is. The way shots are laid out and scenes are paced give off such unease. It's great I love it. I'm sorry but Uzi trying to put her own heart back in her chest AND save N who is being disemboweled is INSANE WORK. AND THE HANDS! THE HANDS!

AND THE EXPRESSIONS! YALL- FUCK- getting across so much emotion with robot characters is always my favorite thing to see.

And of course! Uzi, N, and V vs Cyn and J. I- it's just- y'all go watch this fight pls. This shot is so fucking beautiful...

J vs V

So J knew the whole time. Big Yikes. ALSO MY PRINCESS BABY GIRL IS ALIVE! God on J for living past the end credits but WOW- for Cyn to trick her... I wonder how much of that she really thought was Tessa.

Khan, Lizzy and Thad

I love this shot of Khan so much.

I still believe that the "secret friend" was Khan and/or Nori just because there is no reason for Lizzy to not tell Thad (also V texted her AFTER the planet exploded to let her know she's alive which she wouldn't need to do if she still thought Tessa was Tessa). It would be funny if it was all three. Nori was gonna get the cross to the surface and give it Lizzy to get to Khan. Khan asked Lizzy to find the hideout since she was hanging out with V in between Ep2 and 3 and then V texted her after the planet exploded to stall J. Honestly love that for Lizzy did the most and cared the least. Side note, the way Lizzy is so unbothered in the fight confirms to me that she is the homeroom teacher's daughter.

But yeah! I'm glad these three made it to the end and they didn't do the thing where Lizzy and Uzi become besties. I like Lizzy as V's friend more. Love love LOVE- Khan looking at Nori's core and saying "Kinda hot..?" Nice to know that the Doorman women have a type. And Thad. Sweet little prince Thad. Just a good dude.

Cyn (this whole part is rambly)

I've been very specific about referring to Absolute Solver as Cyn. I usually write "Absolute Solver/Cyn" when reffering to them. Cyn is dead though. Uzi burned up her core and ate the [null]. So for brevity, I'm just gonna call it/them Cyn.

Speaking of Cyn. I love Cyn. I don't think I talk about how much I love Cyn. I can't talk about Cyn without talking about her relationship to N, V, and J. N, V, Nori and Uzi all refer to Cyn as her. J refers to Cyn as it. Cause that's all it really is. Cyn was the host- someone who is long gone. Even when Uzi was taken over V was angry at Cyn: "Same horrors, huh Cyn?"

J on the other hands says: "It tricked me too." She's knows what the Solver is and sees it for what it is, a virus. We've seen from the memories that N and V (especially N) were a lot closer to Cyn than J who sided with Tessa and the Elliots. This distinction of calling Cyn shows that N and V can't or won't distinguish the two. This is someone they grew up and lived with. N is hesitant and scared cause that's who little sister vs V who is angry cause this is the creature that replaced Cyn. Remember V says "We do our job, and that thing leaves us alone." As far as V is concerned Cyn was always like this and she just wants to save her team, especially N. (As far as Uzi and Nori go, they've never known the Solver by any other name except Cyn so no need to change it. Absolute Solver is a mouthful compared to Cyn). My point it, it hurts seeing the person you love become a monster and even more to know that Cyn 1001 was never there. The only time we saw her was as that little scared Robot in the pile. They never really knew her and maybe there's hope that Cyn, their Cyn, is in there but she isn't. She never was, it's always been the Solver.

And because I have to mention it. In N's flashbacks after Cyn caves his chest open we see flashes of this happening at the mansion and V's body on the floor. Which was expected, we know Cyn made them but what I'm thinking is, Cyn DEFINITELY used N to kill Tessa.

ANYWAY- now I get to talk about how much I love this fucking little freak. She is so CREEPY! I love everything about Cyn. I love how she moves- how her movements are so creepy and fluid. Like all the animation is fluid but she moves extra-fluid. It's creepy she's creepy I love her! I love how much personality she has, they totally could have went the soulless machine route but no, just like the Worker Drones she HAS personality! She sadistic, malicious, and manipulative. Genuinely there is so much wrong with her. Like there is so much about her to talk about that I can't even explain in words. Better to assimilate than explain tbh. Like she shows genuine interest in the Murder Drones. She kept their personalities in tact because of N, even knowing that V and J would be liabilities. She even told Tessa as long as she didn't get in her way, Tessa would be unharmed. She could've easily killed the banquet without all the flair but she was angry at the Elliot family for threatening her, N and the rest of the Drones. The singularity is the point where technology reaches when we, humans, can no longer control it. It is indistinguishable from our concept of humanity. I'm not gonna get all philosophical and ponder the legitimacy of the Drones AI, I think the show does that well enough. They have thoughts and feelings, they are alive, plain and simple. This story is not new btw, robots living in the remains of human society and having their own personalities and living as an extent of humanity has been done before. The examples I can think of are Wall-E, Stray and I Have No Mouth... works too (kinda). Basically, Cyn as the antagonist have her own personality that goes beyond the mindless machine route is so fucking cool and I love it. I love has antagonistic she is to everyone, even people she likes. It's not like she doesn't understand empathy, she just doesn't care. "Your copies will forgive me." And again! The is not new, this is not a new character type, I'm sure but it's done well here. She is amazing and I love everything about her. Cyn you are freaking crazy baby girl and I love you.

The Ending

She a damaged OC now, what else is there to say?

[faithbetryin]

Yeah y’all are trippin’, Alien Romulus is fucking dope. Talk about cinematography and tension building. This is a great horror movie. And the scare factor to the xenomorphs has returned!!

[punks-never-die205]

AH mayhaps I can help!!

imo I think Kid would like stuff that's scary with a dark kinda comedy to it. A lot of people lump him into like Saw and torture porn franchises but I just don't think that's true. He'd love the Scream movies and like Cabin in the Woods and shit like that, things that are tongue-in-cheek kinda genre savvy.

Killer would enjoy stuff that's a little more psychological horror, maybe with a supernatural slant maybe not, things like What Lies Beneath, the Cure for Wellness, the Haunting of Hill House, things of that nature. I don't think he enjoys jumpscares and he gets enough splatterpunk in his daily life.

Heat feels like a found footage guy to me, the Blair Witch Project, Grave Encounters, Paranormal Activity, he's breaking down why the camera angles don't make sense and how it's all fake but also like jumping and giggling at you for jumping when things get properly spooky.

Wire is so unflappable and hard to shake that guy is watching scary shit that's at the edges of my tolerance, the Pulse, the Grudge, the Incantation, he's the ultimate connoisseur of literally scare you into a different person movies that he can just sit through with a straight face and then talk to you about the cinematography afterwards.

I hope this helps!!!

Adding to this post

ooooh - I like these, and yeah, I don't think Kid would be much of a Saw guy either. The "mindless cruelty for cruelty's sake" isn't really a good characterization of him, and I imagine that's where that connection comes from.

I think he'd be able to watch them, but yeah, his favorite would probably be... what was the one tongue-in-cheek on that had Betty White in it? Lake Placid? I bet he fucking loves Betty.

[greatandquestionablecontent]

Notes upon a Terror rewatch, now that I can tell more of these white guys apart:

Episode 1

-Sir John ordering David Young to be brought back to the other ship despite being in dying condition. Saying the cold fresh air will do him good, despite doctors orders otherwise. Lmao great advice boss. Drag the dying guy through hypothermic weather.

-Jopson being like yeah yeah capt i know u hate listening to fitsjames’ stories but more importantly what booze should we have there for u

-Mr Blanky is the one backing up Francis when he says they should not continue into the ice pack. According to fandom wiki he’s the Ice Master which is a rad title. Upon first watch I was like idk he seems like a navigator or something. Interesting to connect this beginning to his end.

-Hickey is the one who climbs down into the grave of David Young to fix the lid on his coffin. He stares at the coffin for a few moments after doing so.

“Sergeant Tozer says it’s not important,” says one of the ships boys, idk who.

“It would’ve been important to that boy’s father, wouldn’t it?” says Hickey. “Hm?”

Interesting character moment for Hickey.

-A fave horror moment is still when they wake up and see it’s ice in all directions as far as the eye can see. Hits the same horror button as reading about how some of the Dyatlov Pass incident people later tried to head back to their tents.

-The final moments of the captains making eye contact across the ice and then the applause flashback and then SILENCE and the shot of the ships surrounded by ice. The cinema of it all!!

-Also Collins in the diving suit, cross cut with the surgery, and the dude underwater in the Jesus T pose. Great cinematography.

-The fact that Collins was (i think?) also the one who knew the name of “that seaman”

-I also still love Goodsir trying to make death sound like a wonderful comforting holy experience with angels and loved ones. And then IT’S FUCKING TERRIFYING and theres a Specter saying to Run

-Good show.

[lcatala]

My top 6 movies discovered in 2023

I watched 52 new-to-me movies in 2023. Not nearly enough , as I could only find 6 movies that stood out sufficiently to be worthy of a personal top, in what was otherwise a pretty meh year — yes I'm a picky watcher — and yeah The Boy and The Heron didn't make the top, you can read the long rambling I wrote about it if you want to know why; I haven't watched Barbie, Oppenheimer or the Super Mario Bros. Movie, and haven't watched any Marvel-related movie since 2015.

6: Nimona (2023)

I didn't really expect to like the animated adaptation of N. D. Stevenson's comic, and I went in reluctantly, only because a lot of people who seemed trustworthy recommended it. Despite having some of the flaws I've come to expect in modern 3D animation, this was a very good surprise. You can read my detailed review here.

5: Suzume (2022)

The plot of Suzume stays very much within the bounds of the "modern artsy anime film", with a rather predictable 3+1 acts structure and an exploration of themes and human interactions which has some subtlety and nuance but overall stays very safe and on-the-surface. Nothing offensive, but nothing truly groundbreaking either.

But.

Suzume had, by far, the best animation of any movie I've seen this year. This movie is an absoluteely beautiful, every-frame-a-painting kind of deal. If I was to rank every animated I've ever seen solely by the quality of their animation, Suzume would easily be in the top 10.

4: Cape Fear (1962)

American cinema achieved maturity during the New Hollywood era that started in the late 1960s, marking a shift toward more naturalistic and more adult filmmaking and themes. But there were a few notable precursors before that.

The most famous of those is of course Psycho (altho tellingly, it was from a British director). But Cape Fear followed close behind, and is another example of an early 60s movie which you don't expect to be this dark and this raw, starring an absolutely get-under-your-skin-terrifying Robert Mitchum — if you thought he was creepy in The Night of the Hunter, you haven't seen nothing yet…

3: The Outwaters (2022)

This was the biggest surprise of the year, watched the same day it was recommended to me, having heard absolutely nothing about it before that (I didn't even know this movie existed). I got treated to a no-budget yet beautifully-shot found-footage horror movie — in fact the best found-footage movie I have ever seen, with a lot of attention put toward making the gimmick plausible, making the characters realistic and likeable, making this look like the kind of actual footage you'd find on a personal camera — while also having amazingly beautiful cinematography — all while slowly building up the tension.

Because that's just the first half.

Oh yeah, it's one of these horror movies in which you think you know where the story is going, and then second half just explodes in your face and becomes completely, utterly batshit insane. This is on par with Men (2022) for how weird and fucked up the climax is. Don't expect any kind of explanation or closure here, the second half of this movie turns into one of the most fucked up and bizzare horror movies you'll ever see.

2: Godzilla Minus One (2023)

Yeah so this one was a surprise late-year hit for everyone, not just me. First live-action Japanese Godzilla film in 7 years, with rather tempered expectations — we all knew that Shin Godzilla was an odd one out, that the average Japanese Godzilla movie is not like that, that we shouldn't expect this kind of quality on a regular basis.

Well we played ourselves.

This was incredibly well made as a blockbuster — Japanese cinema has completely caught up on American cinema, for a fraction of the budgets — one of the best Godzilla movies ever made from an action and visuals point of view, and a reminder that Godzilla, as a character, can also be scary, a terrifying incarnation of destruction and disaster.

But somehow this also managed to be a powerful and well filmed drama — no lazy endless shot/reverse shot dialogues here, a lot effort is put into framing choices, blocking… — a movie that actually touches on difficult questions and goes against the message of many other war or action blockbusters.

When so many stories glorify the idea of sacrifying your life for a greater cause, here's one movie that says "hey maybe expecting people to sacrifice their life for your cause is actually pretty fucked up, and maybe it's actually better to choose to live for the sake of your loved ones than to die for the sake of your own pride". Yeah a Japanese movie is saying that, a Godzilla movie is saying that.

1: Skinamarink (2022)

So, speaking of low-budget independent horror, back in 2022 I had foolishly overlooked Skinamarink. I had vaguely heard that it was good, but no particular detail was mentioned that would have picked my interest, and the poster looked fairly generic, so I skipped it, even tho I should have been more intrigued — 2022 was already shaping up to be a really good year for horror films…

Skinamarink was a tough proposition from the get go, in the "experimental" kind of tough: an entire film made in the analog horror genre — usually short videos made to ressemble old media from the 80s and 90s, advertisements, warning messages, weather channels, documentaries and informercials, with a disturbing twist; a format usually made of short segments. Trying to tell a film-length story in that fashion is an entirely different exercise, but that's fine, I've sat thru Begotten (1989), I can do this.

Right away, this is not framed like a movie: it's more as if someone had negligently left an old camera on the floor — but this is not even found-footage, there is no camera in-story, we just happen to be seeing this world thru stolen, furtive points of view. The image is grainy, the sound is bad quality (subtitles are provided), the frames are often askew, you never even see the actors' faces. We get no narration, no exposition, just a succession of disjointed scenes that slowly form a story.

This shouldn't work. And for many people, this will not work. Most will turn this off not even 5 minutes in. But if you're among the exceptions, then howdy does it work. The format is not a gimmick at all — it's completely in service of the story. The grainy image, the low quality sound prey on your pattern recognition, never quite certain if something is there or not; the framing by a "forgotten" camera contributes to make the atmosphere hyper-real in its intimacy, yet alienating and uncanny.

The director of Skinamarink deals with one very specific topic: nightmares. Not the idea of nightmares, not the heightened nightmares of fiction, but the literal nightmares that real people have; he started by making short videos representing common nightmares that people would tell him about. When it came time to make a full-length feature film, he kept the same approach. Skinamarink doesn't really use any of the classic themes or structures of horror movies; it largely ignores that folklore and instead focuses on deep childhood fears, the kind of stuff your mind used to conjure up long ago and that you have forgotten but not erased from your brain.

If you manage to enter into this very peculiar format, this very unusual and seemingly disjointed way to tell a story, and if you identify with the kind of fear material the movie is drawing on, this is a truly scary experience. Not really in a jump scare or suspense way, more like a deeply haunting and unsettling atmosphere, a strong ambient uncanniness where things are almost normal but just broken enough to give you a constant feeling of unpleasantness, of wanting to run the hell out of here while being trapped, a sense of horrible lurking threat while having nothing concrete to fight against or protect yourself from.

Of course, this isn't exactly a fun experience. This is very, very intense, I'm talking Antichrist-levels of playing with your nerves, and the story, as simple as it is, is tragically harrowing and cruel — you're essentially watching two young children getting psychologically (and eventually physically) tortured by a sadistic, unseen entity for a hundred minutes.

It's hard to recommend, and yet recommendations is how this movie ended up grossing 2 millions on a 15k budget — promotion included ! Most people actually didn't like the movie, but those who liked it liked it so much they can't shut up about it (case in point!) It's one of those horror movies that completely break the boundaries of the genre and do something truly new and unique. It's what horror should be for: imagination gone wild, format-breaking fantasy, and realism thrown out of the window.

[ylojgtr]

*please see notes for an important correction*

so you know. i watched the barbie movie. i watched the oppenheimer. i did the dress up and the whole thing. and i had fun with it. but i was also deeply uncomfortable with it at the same time, and ill explain why, but i first think the idea of not enjoying barbenheimer, and barbie specifically, needs to be made less of a problem, almost destigmatized.

the discourse is kinda suffocating around the barbie movie ive found. if you don't like it, you're almost automatically labelled either one of those "oh i hate that movie it's anti-men" people or someone who "can't enjoy something fun." my issue with the barbie movie is not that it is anti-men (in fact, it is explicitly pro-men, and does a fabulous job showing how the patriarchy harms everyone), nor that i am incapable of having fun with it (i already said, i really did love having had the experience i did), nor even that i thought it was a bad movie (on the surface, i enjoyed it quite a bit and especially loved the unique settings and ideas, like i would never have come up with that if i was told "ok, write a barbie reboot now")

my problem is in the context of the movie, and how fucking hypocritical and back stabby it feels to women in particular. like the fact that they make fun of the all-male board of directors trying to appeal to girls "in the least creepy way possible"...but that's literally what the movie is, an appel to women for money. they make a point that barbie is "for the girls" but that doesn't change the fact that it's largely men profiting off it.

i almost feel like mattel is controlling both the supply and demand of feminism: they made these toys that reinforced harmful body and gender ideals for generations, and profited off it, and they're now making a statement against harmful body and gender ideals, and profiting off it.

the "jokes" about men running mattel and profiting off things they don't understand are not jokes, that is literally what happens and what is happening. the thing i find most terrifying is how willing they are to make themselves look like idiots in the name of profit

and oppenheimer...yeah, it's a technological marvel, the filmmaking is top-tier, and the cinematography is utterly captivating. but it's a very one-sided story. i know it's called oppenheimer and everything, and that it doesn't portray him in an entirely positive light, but i feel like it's another white hero centred biopic that uses terrible actions as "character development." like i can't imagine the guilt he must have felt for having caused the horrors he did, and the movie does a great job presenting that aspect of it (the scene where he's giving the speech and he sees the corpses and it shows his conflict is...very well done). but it also just uses it as that: presenting his guilt.

i wish the criticism of barbenheimer would allow for more insightful comments and for us all to just realize that capitalism does not care about women or fixing the patriarchy, no matter what they tell you

[roguelov]

Ok but your tags on that Longlegs post 😂

I said what said and I’m a proud owner of a dumbass brain 😂 I even said it was jfk with my full chest then my sister (who saw it with me) was like ‘… dude that was Bill Clinton’ and I was like ‘😶 … you’re right’

I’ll put some rambling thoughts below so no spoilers

Like to be fair the movie was good but I thought it was going to lean more towards mystery serial killer thriller not spooks and shit (although once I did see it was satan I did play the game of trying to find that goat man in the background)

I can do thrillers and killers but demons/ghosts I don’t mix well (I blame paranormal activity given that was my first big horror movie after swearing to not touch a single horror movie ever cuz like I said I’m a baby but I’m slowly getting into horror like some of Mike flangans stuff)

I will be fighting the head of fbi in a parking lot because why the fuck was his daughter’s birthday never brought up???? MY GUY THE BRIGHT WARNING SIGNS ARE FLASHING AND YOU WENT ‘couldn’t be for me’ (it probably was like oh satan already has him so that why he didn’t say anything and blah blah blah bullshit)

Him: why did you tell me your birthday was on the 14th?

Me: ok so like your daughter apparently doesn’t matter 🤨

Also was everyone uninvited to the party or was there no party to begin with? I like the former for shits and giggles like ‘yeah sorry Bethany the party has been canceled due to satan yeah you’re going to have to return your gift you bought’

And like Harker just not stopping the dad from killing his wife was bonkers. Yeah yeah I know the mom was like ‘she’s already dead’ while frankly I don’t give a fuck how about you stop that man cuz I sat there like ‘… we’re just letting this happen?? Not even going to try??? Not even a lil bit????’

I did not watch homie bash his brains in cuz he hit his head once and I went ‘you know what … I’m actually good on seeing this’

I did love the cool upside shot of her on the bed and just the whole aesthetic and cinematography of the movie it was stunning

Also for some reason when they first showed Harker’s cabin I swore her home as a child was in the background so I thought we lived near it for motivation and what not but alas it was just a random ass white house that held no importance

WAIT ALSO I REMEMBERED WHY THE FUCK DID HARKER NOT CALL IN FOR THE SHOOTER IN THE FIRST 10 MINUTES I WAS LIKE ‘GIRL CALL FOR BACK UP YOUR PARTNER JUST GOT SHOT’ SHE HAD ME PANICKING AS SHE SEARCHED THAT HOUSE

[corvuserpens]

So yeah, yesterday I decided to FINALLY watched The Meg bc everyone kept saying it was a silly fun shark movie... AND THEY WERE RIGHT. It was AWESOME.

I went in expecting practically nothing, and it blew me away. The story premise is ridiculous and it totally feels like the director, actors and crew 100% knew that and embraced it! The movie never takes itself too seriously, it practically tells you to just kick back and enjoy it for what it is, which is exactly what makes it so much fun. It's an exciting comedy horror about a giant prehistoric shark in present day Earth, the CGI is dubious but the cinematography makes up for it with some great, well composed shots. For example, when Suyin is in the trench and is being attacked by a giant squid? That in itself is pretty cool imagery, but then you see the Megalodon swimming over her sub with the squid in its mouth in the gloom, illuminated from below?? WOW????

Then the characters are like, surprisingly deep? They have interesting backstories that inform us on who they are and while Jonas is the only one who gets some screen time for his Big Trauma, we later learn that Lori might have blown up a whaler ship for an environment organization and that's how she learned to pilot? And that Suyin had a tough relationship with her dad but they love each other so much that with his dying breath he tells her how proud he is, that she already surpassed him as a scientist and he hopes Meying will grow up to be just like her? And we get all of that with some very organic, short dialog or like 3-4 minute scenes, which is rare these days. Legit good writing where it is most needed, all the more sober scenes are well-acted and so immersive, the characters are so likable I ended up rooting for all of them to survive (except that billionaire whose name I didn't bother to learn, everyone else I remember except him, FUCK that guy). Even the side characters, though flat, were interesting because the actors gave them so much personality!

And, WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S A WHOLESOME CISHET SHIP WITH JASON STATHAM WITH VERY LITTLE SEXUAL TENSION BUT A LOT OF ROMANTIC TENSION?? WHAT IS THIS WITCHCRAFT??? Seriously, I was shipping Jonas and Suyin so hard, their interactions were adorable. How he goes from being the typical Tough Manly Man Who Is Super Competent And Punches All The Bad Guys While Wearing The Same Tough Guy Face All Movie to genuinely caring for the whole Mana One crew and respecting Suyin as an accomplished female scientist in her own right who knows what she's doing and is also brave and headstrong herself... Much 'aww'ing' was done.

Not to make this too long a rant, I love talking about movies I enjoyed, sorry, but a few other small things I liked about it: that Lori and Jonas remained good friends who care and support each other, and want the other's happiness even being divorced, we need more of that! And Dr. Heller apologizing to Jonas and meaning it for saying he was crazy and basically ruining his life (plus Jonas forgiving him in the end), definitely wanna see more of that! Jonas' friendship with Meying, THAT WAS SO CUTE, I COULDN'T GET ENOUGH OF THEM!! The gags were all genuinely funny, I was laughing through most of the movie, and the jump scares got me more than a couple of times (though that might be a fault on my part, I'm a big wussy and I am not afraid to admit it). The action is so. DUMB. But it's the kind that it's so dumb it's good, y'know?

Final note, I gotta say, let Jason actually act more because he's really good and directors keep hiring him to play a stoic emotionless hero when he can do so much more? He has impeccable comedic timing, his line delivery no matter how bonkers, always lands, he's REALLY CHARMING and y'all are wasting his potential imo. Given, I haven't really watched many of his movies after the Transporter franchise, but for example, I loved him in The Italian Job and a couple of weeks ago I started watching Homefront and I was enjoying it because he gets to play a widower with a young daughter in a new town, and now I definitely need to finish it bc I'm a sucker for father/daughter dynamics.

Anyway, yeah, if you like sharks, B-movies or just something fun to watch that will make you laugh, go watch The Meg. It's good enough to convince me to go watch the sequel next August. Can't wait!

[ohhhshit-ahhfuck]

I find it hard to have a surface conversation sometimes because it does not stimulate me intellectually. Like, fucking no I don’t don’t want to have a conversation about the whether I want to talk about what makes cinematography so beautiful, I want to talk about how the energy of the universe is never wasted after you die and how it never really goes away, I want to talk about what types of horror fucks up your mind the most, I wanna talk about your favorite type of poetry, your favorite books, I want to talk about the hard stuff, I want to talk about how your crops are growing in the fall just when the leaves get a tan, I wanna talk about your guilt and shame and why you feel the way you do, I wanna talk about history, I wanna talk about fashion, I wanna talk about art, I wanna talk about love and sex and joy, I wanna talk about who you admire and who you fear, I wanna talk about your childhood memories, I wanna talk about what the hell keeps you going and what you give a shit about, I want to pick your mind and speak to your on a vibration I can understand.

But- uh, yeah, the whether is nice :))

[mysteriouslybluepirate]

Stilts(2019 Short Film)Watching Con-Tent for #? Days cause I need serotonin

Pre thoughts. The fact that we all make short jokes about Con makes this a necessary watch for me.

It's 7 minutes long. I would love for you to post your interpretation of it before you read mine, I want to see what y'all think.

It's 7 minutes long, just watch it before you read. This won't make sense otherwise. It's really fucking cool. A whole concept and world is built in a short film.

Also, below is an updated Con Ranking list including all the stuff I've watched! (Not this, it's just too short to fairly rank)

As usual, thanks to my mutuals who have seen this?

(special thanks to @kimmy2364 for the gifs)

@gydima @dianetastesmetal @ivegotnonameidea @treesofgreen

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Hey! that looks like Montana!

Also, walking on stilts is hard as fuck. As a stage manager, I did Little Mermaid and we had 2 Jellyfish guys on stilts. They almost broke their ankles multiple times. Not fun. It's impressive that the actors pulled this off.

Alright, so there's a society that walks on stilts?

Love the aspect ratio btw.

You are not making any progress on that at all my guy

Hi Con! Oh, giving disapproving father vibes.

Love the som just screaming in the background

Yeah, father, go check on him

I just love how this looks! Everything is just so tall, with so much empty room in the house. So fucking unsettling!

Earthquake? Monsters? Why is the world-shaking?

Love the TV with a whole channel of feet. Is he trying to see how 'normal' people walk?

Love Con's grunting in the background.

I?

The number of questions I have.

OOHHH Shit. It's a whole society of people who walk on stilts?

So??? Why does she(the sister) accept him?

ARE THEY GOING FOR THE FOOT ITSELF???? WHAT?????

WHY IS THERE BLOOD?????

Okay, this is giving, Religious Trauma, moving out of cult vibes.

Love the laughing.

UH, The way the son stumbles! GOD! The kid running without his stilts! That's exactly how people look when they step off of stilts after walking for a few hours. Just like how people look odd after taking off rollerblades, it takes a bit for your brain to catch up!

OH SHIT! DAD'S RUNNING AFTER HIM! RUN KID! ESCAPE!

GOD! Con using crutches to go faster with stilts is just so fucking Cool! makes him look like a creature!

I'VE SAID IT ONCE AND I'LL SAY THIS AGAIN! Con needs to be in more horror shit(ignore the 130k horror OFMD thing I wrote, I am unbiased and correct).

AHHH! FATHER'S ACCEPTING!! He probably knows his kid will never come back, but his kid will be happier for being gone. GOOD FOR HIM!

THE STACE! The dad looks so fucking alone watching his kid leave.

AHHHH!!!!! HE JUST WANTS WHAT'S BEST FOR HIS KIDS!!!!! Fuck, look at him! SMILING!!!! Encouraging her, even though he's scared. AHHHH!!!! I HAVE EMOTIONS!!!!! The fact that the credits are just over a long shot of Father trying not to cry!!!!!!

-------------------------------------------------------------------

OVERALL:

Due to this being 7 minutes long, I'll just wrap up with my interpretation.

The fact that there's a whole system where you must get chosen to get your stilts removed. You can't just want it, you need to be chosen, it has multiple interpretations.

Growing up in a cult and you finally decide to leave? Sure.

Kids finally leaving the nest and questioning their parent's view of the world? Yeah.

A family in poverty watching as their kids are finally given the resources to leave and grow up happy? Yeah!

Did some filmmaker have a really cool idea for a dystopia/horror world and built characters around it, Yeah!!!!!

BUT Con playing a stilt dad who just really fucking wants what's best for his kids is so GOOD! You get the sense that, while he doesn't want this for himself, he really just loves his kids.

I really fucking liked the cinematography and set design. They made a hospital feel off-putting and alien. The costumes! THE HOUSE!!! AHH!

I really fucking loved it for what it was, and want to see a whole movie/novel about this concept. Why is the exit an air hanger? Is that hospital linked to their society? Do they always need to ask to be let free? It's all just so cool.

Con's performance was just amazing, it has depth without any dialogue. He reads as sad, and scared, and proud and AHHHHHH!! It takes a lot to get me emotional, but they did it in 7 minutes and very few words. LOVE IT.

(Updated ranking)

[sichore]

Gimme YOUR CHOICE in answer for the OTP prompt, friendo. I wanna hear you answer something about your favorite couple, that you really wanna share :D

[Taé's choice! 5. A casual kiss between your ship]

"Huh, yer really crankin' those out," Pickles notes. The drink on his breath wafts over Jimi as he ducks his face down towards her, saccharine to a nearly sickening level.

Jimi's used to it and shivers a bit at the ghost sensation of his beard brushing against her cheek. "Yeah, this movie's got some great compositions in its cinematography," she replies, continuing to fill in the various thumbnails she's made over the course of the evening.

They pointedly ignore Murderface's loud huff from the other side of Pickles, who gently taps at a swiftly sketched portrait on the page. "Dood, this one - how'd you get so much of his face with just a few lines?"

"I've had lots of practice," Jimi says gently, shrugging, and she can feel Pickles' smirk, even though his face only hovers near hers.

He shakes his head, swearing under his breath. "Fuckin' amazing."

Murderface loudly groans, sounding much like a bulldog snoring in that particularly phlegmy way of his. "Maybe you should, I dunno, consider getting a room," he mumbles.

"What was that?" Pickles' smirk never fades as he sits up to look over at the bassist.

"Got something to say, William?" Jimi joins in, grinning herself as she peeks over from where she's tucked against the drummer and under his outstretched arm.

"I'm juscht saying," Murderface sighs, unfolding his arms to throw up his hands. "This isch supposed to be movie night! Not a fucking date night."

"We're not dating," Pickles and Jimi say as one, on cue, without missing a beat.

That just makes Murderface sputter and squawk, gesturing at the two. "Then what the fuck do you call of thisch?"

"We're jest hangin' out, dood."

"Just paling around."

"It'sch... obscene."

"You didn't have to sit with us," Jimi says pointedly, nodding towards where the guitarists and frontman are in the hottub.

"Someone has to keep an eye on you two and make sure things are... age appropriate."

"Fer a horror movie?" Pickles chuckles silently, his body shaking and reverberating through Jimi. "Yer paranoid over nothin', dood."

"We're just sitting here."

"Like a couple of homosch."

Jimi glances up at Pickles as he takes another swig of his drink, glancing at her from the corner of his eye and shrugging. "Whaddya think? Kinda fruity?"

"Just a bit." Jimi closes her sketchbook with a yawn.

"Done fer the night?"

"Yeah. Gonna try and actually sleep for once."

"Mmkay." And Pickles ducks his head down to press a kiss to her mane of curls. Jimi lifts her face, smiles as he gives her a peck on the cheek. "Night, Jim."

"Night-"

"Oh what the FUCK!"

Murderface sputters and recoils as though he's been punched. Jimi just looks at him quizzically as she stands.

Pickles raises a pierced brow. "Problem?"

"Quiet down back there," Nathan grumbles from the hottub.

"But she - you - why doesch he get...!"

Jimi meets Pickles' glance, matches his smirk, and leans over to Murderface's cheek while he takes the other.

Smeck!

The bassist's screams and Pickles' laughter follow Jimi all the way out of the room, along with Nathan's bellows for him to shut the fuck up already, we can't hear the movie!

[Soft OTP Prompts]

[whatyourusherthinks]

The Exorcism Review

I had no idea this movie existed until it arrived in our theater. The only thing I knew about it was starring Russell Crowe, and apparently has nothing to do with the Exorcist franchise. Nor does it have anything to do with the Pope's Exorcist, another demonic possession movie starring Russell Crowe, as well as nothing to do with The Last Exorcism, The Exorcism of Emily Rose, The Exorcism of Molly Hartley, The Exorcism of Anna Ecklund, Exorcism: The Possession of Gail Bowers, Anneliese: The Exorcist Tapes, My Best Friend's Exorcism, American Exorcism, The Exorcism in Amarillo, The Exorcism of God, Godless: The Eastfield Exorcism, Exorcism: Haunted Child, Blackwater Valley Exorcism, The Amityville Exorcism, Exorcism at 60,000 Feet, 13 Exorcisms, Exorcism in Utero, Echorsis: Sabunutan Between Good and Evil, The Exorcists, Exorcist Vengeance, or The Exorcist: Italian Style.

Wow Roan. Way to list every movie you've found on Wikipedia with the word Exorcism or Exorcist in it. You want to stall the review that badly? Yes, Buggnutz. Yes I do. Because this movie is a Lovecraftian enigma. Any part of this film I comprehend I do not understand, and any part I can understand I do not comprehend. It has been hours since I've seen the movie, at time of posting, and I still can't quite internalize what I saw.

What's This Movie About?

A remake of "the classic horror movie" is plagued by a demon possessing Russell Crowe. There's a bunch of other things that happen in the movie too, but I can't adequately explain what they were or why they happened.

What I Like.

Russell Crowe being so good at acting that he can't play a character who acts badly. That sounds like a backhanded compliment. YEAH, WELL, THAT'S WHAT WE ARE WORKING WITH HERE.

What I Didn't Like.

A movie like this makes me kinda wish that I did a video reviews instead of written ones, just so I could gesticulate wildly with a concerned look on my face, making confused grunts before staring into the camera in shock. Because putting how this movie made me feel into words is a Sisyphean task. Where to even begin...

Every part of this movie is bad. The acting, except for Russell Crowe, is awkward. The editing is stupid. The effects and scares are cliched. The cinematography is obnoxious. The script is confusing, and the dialogue is laughable. The plot has a good idea, but bogs itself down with dumb shit because, well, because the writer/director though it would be edgy. And here's the rub: Individually, these aspects aren't the worst I've seen. With the exception of the plot, Madame Web was worse in every regard than this one. But all together, these ingredients make a shit stew that I was laughing at in the beginning, but it quickly began to stank and ruined what little bits of the experience I was enjoying.

Things this movie ruined for me: The premise. I didn't realize going into it that the idea was that a movie was being haunted, and I think that's fun. The most interesting thing the movie does with it is has cliched demonic possession/exorcism scenes take place in sets. The idea of Russell Crowe maybe just relapsing is ruined by the very obvious signs that he's possessed and everyone being too fucking stupid to realize that the fat guy contorting like Reagan and magically flickering the lights isn't just off his meds. There's a real priest on set who's skeptical of the more esoteric and mystical parts of his belief, which is interesting until they just drop that characterization and have him make possibly the stupidest fucking decision a character in a demonic possession movie could make at the end. I thought they did a good job making Russell Crowe look tormented and miserable, but then I realized that EVERYONE in the film looks like that. Seriously, even at the happy ending the characters look like they haven't slept in five days. I don't know if that was intentional or not but I felt really bad for the actors.

Let's have a quick digression about the Exorcist. This movie really wants to be an Exorcist sequel. The movie that the actors in the movie are working on is blatantly the reboot to the movie, they just don't have the license to say that in the movie. There is a lot of imagery from the Exorcist kinda haphazardly shoved in, only slightly skewed so that way they can't get sued. Honestly, that could all be fine. My issue comes from the feeling that the director's favorite part of the Exorcist is the part where Reagan tells the priest "Your mother sucks cocks in hell!". It feels like The Exorcism keeps trying to one-up it some how. I really didn't need Russell Crowe telling his daughter he'd eat her pussy better than her girlfriend. Roan, you're gonna complain about vulgarity? You swear worse than a sailor with Tourette's. Fair, but my issue isn't that the the movie is vulgar. My issue is it feel exploitative. Russell Crowe has a tragic backstory where he was molested as an alter boy, and it's just in the movie so we can have an highly unnecessary and gross flashback and the director can be mean to him about it for like two scenes. (The director character in the story, not the actual director of the movie. I'll be charitable and assume Russell Crowe wasn't made fun of for being sexually assaulted while working on this movie by Joshua John Miller.)

Final Summation.

I don't even know what to put here. I've basically done my three ending tricks in the review itself, so what's left? Well, maybe tell us whether you liked the movie or not? OH YEAH I FUCKING LOVED IT.