#fuckinf actuall life plans

[ocdisgusting]

Anyway that its never a good time to kill yourself post has soo been on my mind. Like never a good time to do it but also like so hard to just talk about because so many other people are going through similar kms thoughts im not trting to add nothing new to the mix but like at what point do you reach out cause anh and all points never seem like a good time

[jrwiyuri]

I kinda want more kids to die maybe I’m evil

[starheirxero]

WE WERE RIGHT- WE WERE FUCKING RIGHT- THEY HEARED OUR PLEADS-

SOLAR WOULD'VE COME BACK WRONG- HE WOULD'VE COME BACK NOTHING MORE THAN A SHELL OF HIMSELF-

EVEN THOUGH HE LOOKS LIKE SOLAR, HE STILL WOULD'VE BEEN BLOODMOON UNDERNEATH IT ALL!!

EVEN MORE SO, HE WOULD'VE BEEN MORE LIKE THE ORIGINAL, WHO DEPENDED ON BLOOD TO LIVE- WHO NEEDED THIS-

HE WOULD'VE BEEN MORE BLOODMOON THAN V2 BLOODMOON THEMSELVES!!!

I AM GOING INSANE/POS-

This entire situation is so raw!!!

He would've been nothing more than a ghost. A ghost of someone long past, longer than himself-

And he would've been hungry. So unbearably hungry. It would've eaten him up inside, until eventually, he would've snapped. Until he would realize, he isn't Solar anymore, not really. Maybe he never was to begin with.

The way he screams at Nexus, demanding to know, why he brought him back, as his voice twists into that of the bloodied demon-

G O D THIS IS EVERYTHING!!!

And his words!

Nexus was so focused on bringing one brother back to life, on saving who he couldn't save, that he pushed his family away.

Too focused on his mistakes, too focused on fixing them, that he didn't know what he lost, until it slipped right through his fingers.

It didn't just cost him one, but two brothers!

And he didn't even cry. He didn't scream for Sun the same way he screamed for Solar. He didn't fall to his knees, begging him to wake up, grief in his voice.

Instead, he was just angry. Furious, even. Yet, not in the same way.

His anger towards Solar wasn't this raw thing, that threatened to burst. Not like it was with Ruin.

It felt more like anger at his failure, more than anything else. Instead of crying for his brother, of checking if maybe, just maybe, he's alive, he used that time to justify himself to the monster in his lost one's skin.

And he simply kills him, less anger felt and more frustrated than anything else.

He has already lost his grip, his care. Whatever has turned him into who he is now, is already there, just not as prominent, not as bloodthirsty.

OH GOD, I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS- I AM ABOUT TO BURST!!!

I LOVE THIS SO MUCH, ACTUALLY!!!

-Stardust

I'M SO LATE 2 THIS BUT YESYEHSYEHAYAHSHAHHA!!!!!!!!

THIS IS THEE MOST STRIKING "CAME BACK WRONG" SCENARIO ON TSAMS YET AND YEUAYAYAGS HE WOULDA BEEN MORE BLOODMOON THAN V2 BLOODMOON LITERALLY!!!!!!

Yesyesyes I am nodding SO FURIOUSLY AND EVERYTHING YOU'VE SAID!!! Everything Solar said made my heart squeeze because of just how we never heard those sorts of tones from ever before and Nexus being honestly more ashamed or embarrassed that it all went wrong instead of grieving the loss of his two brothers..... it's just SO. ITS SO AUAGAJAGAJSHSHD

IT'S SO INHERENTLY TRAGIC ALL AROUND. THERE WAS NO OTHER WAY FOR IT TO END THE MOMENT NEXUS'S PLAN SUCCEEDED. THEY WERE FUCKINF DOOMED AAUAUAAGGGGHHHHHHH

[deeply-unserious-fellow]

Im fixated on Frozen rn so Im just gonna fuckin. Rant about the Hans plot twist for a sec.

OH MY GOD IT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE- IT'S NOT FORESHADOWED IN THE SLIGHTEST, HANS' BEHAVIOR AFTER THE TWIST DIRECTLY CONTRADICTS EVERYTHING WE LEARNED ABOUT HIM BEFORE HAND! THAT'S NOT HOW YOU WRITE A FUCKING PLOT TWIST!!! THERE'S ALSO THE FACT THAT HIS PLAN MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE- MATPAT EXPLAINS IT BETTER THEN I EVER COULD IN THIS VIDEO, BUT BASICALLY MONARCHIES DON'T WORK THE WAY HANS SEEMS TO THINK THEY DO SO HIS PLAN IS FUCKING STUPID. ALSO!!!!! THE PLOT TWIST DOESN'T ACTUALLY ADD ANYTHING TO THE STORY??? LIKE, EVEN IF HE AND ANNA TRULY LOVED EACHOTHER, A KISS WOULDN'T HAVE WORKED BECAUSE ANNA HAD TO BE THE ONE TO PREFORM THE ACT OF TRUE LOVE, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND. IT'S WHY OLAF SACRIFICING HIMSELF DIDN'T WORK, IT'S WHY KRISTOFF DILIVERING HER TO THE CASTLE DIDN'T WORK, IT'S WHY ANNA SAVING ELSA'S LIFE *DID* WORK. HANS DIDN'T NEED TO BE EVIL! THEY COULDVE HAD ONE OF WEASELTON'S LACKY'S ATTEMPT TO KILL ELSA AND IT WOULD'VE HAD THE SAME FUCKING RESULT!!!!!! IM SO FUCKINF MAD I CAN'T-

Tl;dr: the Hans plot twist makes no fucking sense, both in and out of universe, and just exists for the sake of shocking the audience and subverting classic Disney tropes, which are really stupid reasons to add a plot twist.

[ssreeder]

sreedieeeeeeeeee

hey

I’m like 2 weeks late but YKW better late than never so hush

okay ara is such a mood for hating bugs, she’s like me fr

ah fuck NOT THE SHEN FEELS AGAIN (I need like a vaccine against the shen feels bc I’m constantly attacked by them). ara is gonna be SO fucked up when she realises shen is dead. like any and all progress she makes on the journey to bss just absolutely obliterated. at the same time, however, I do think it’s probably a good thing in the long run seeing as she won’t be able to “dedicate” herself to shen like she plans and will instead actually have to heal properly

GIRLS TEA SESH OMG

fuck off katara PLEASE CAN SOMEONE TELL OUR BOYS THAT ZHAO IS DEAD

lmao suki dw sokka is very much in a relationship with a person who understands what he went through

sokka and toph hours <3

obsessed with how sokka’s train of thought goes: zukozukozukozuko toph is picking WHAT out of her toes??? zukozukozukozuko

SLAY ZUKO but also why the fuck are you out of bed you idiot BUT ALSO SLAY

yay tears!!! finally some good old healthy emotional catharsis

“You’re soaking wet!”

“It’s raining.”

I FUCKING LOVE ZUKO YOU DONT UNDERSTAND

sorry but the phrase “lone eyebrow” is actually hilarious

you heard it here first lads!! it’s only true love if you let them wipe their snot on you

I think this is the most zuko has ever spoken at once wtf??? what has gotten in to my guy

idk why sokka is surprised that zuko didn’t leave a note. that’s about the only predictable thing about him

DID JET JUST FUCKINF DIE

oh spirit water okay then

aaaand that’s where my comment ends apparently?? it’s so short this is strange

yeah anyways, brain = scrambled. I’ve had this written for like over a week now and just.. never sent it as an ask???

IN CONCLUSION yay zukkuddles :D

Leeekiiieeee broooo….

Ara is already so fucked up, what’s a little Shen death gunna do?? Huh??? send her over the edge?? hmmm?? ;) :D

HAHA, I love that the girl gossip has so much love, just wait until the future and the gossip girls recruit more members haha. XOXO. ;) (please say you get it)

Zuko learned that he could use his voice, but only with Sokka… Just wait until next chapter when Zuko pulls and Iroh and starts spewing life advice… WHO IS DISSS???? :D

Ember island players episode needed a LIAB moment (& I AM SO PROUD OF ALL PEOPLE WHO TOTALLY GOT IT hahaha)

It is so strange but that’s alright I am so late to answer everything and I am just key smashing at this point FUCKING LOVE YA LEEKIEEEE

[idealspawn]

why the fuck do i have to have acne. this shit has ruined my life. literally predominantly this. me feeling dirty is written all over my fucking face i cant even try to ignore it. im afraid ill literally drop out of university bc of this. i dont make practically any plans w friends bc i feel disgusting. i cant make it out of the fucking house more than once a week if even that. this is so fucking unfair i dont know anyone who eats as clean as i do or has this good of a personal hygiene. most of my life ive avoided alcohol and smoking at all costs but at one point gave up only in the terms of weed because this shit wont go away either way. ive been on every fuckinf medication there is and even if ive had a few times that my skin cleared up, it has come back multiple times and worse each time. im tired of being on pills too, i dont want to fuck my gut up again. why cant my fucking acne be all cute and react to fucking meds properly this one time and be done w it. why the fuck does mine keep coming back for so many years. nobody else in my family has acne i dont understand wtf went wrong w me then. i know i shouldnt fucking complain bc my sister has it way worse, she has type 1 diabetes since she was 3 and many of my problems root from my looks which is so fucking superficial. but i cant help but wonder why the fuck did i have to be the daughter that got a crooked nose, a fucking cross bite and an underbite, a collapsed fucking ribcage and acne. why did i get the shittier genes regarding education as well, i am not nearly as academically successful and smart as my sister is. why am i the one who got the worse end of the stick regarding our family trauma as well. why the fuck are the effects of it debilitating on me and have lasted up until adulthood but not for my sister. ive done so much inner work and i constantly push myself to trust again and be open and kindhearted but im tired. i dont understand why do i keep getting blamed for shit i cant be responsible for too. i know everyone has problems and to everyone theirs are the fucking worst bc they experience it firsthand but it doesnt help the feeling go away. all i want is a simple fucking life. all i want is to live a normal life and be able to attend university and take part of normal things that normal young ppl do and not feel like love is exclusive bc its rare for someone to be attracted to someone like me. i just want to be fucking ordinary, completely basic and normal. im tired of fucking battleing with something at all times, its like i can never stop to take a breath. everything is actually okay whatever you cant fight destiny and what has happened has happened. i just want to whine. its easy to find reasons to hate your life if you start looking for them. my life has a lot of blessings too and privileges that some cant even dream about. stuff sure could be worse than this. nonetheless its all so emotionally taxing. im drained again and am left with no energy to study. didnt attend my lecture today again because my skin looked horrible and i dont have the balls to ask my professor for any accomodations. this whole post is me catastrophizing shit and an amazing example of the slippery slope and snowball effect that they taught us in uni last year to avoid.

[big3denergy]

feeling so fuckinf unmotivated and undisciplined this life is hell. But I have to get everything I’ve planned done AND catch up tomorrow so I don’t call behind, the goal is to actually get ahead.

Tomorrow: catch up on homework, maths and English study, ancient history and legal projects… all after school.

Motivation: beating B, the feeling of knowing I did better than my peers, proving myself to myself, comfort of knowing I’m ahead and on time

Rewards: gossip girl episode in bed, procreate time

[pepprs]

running on 5hrs of sleep cr*mps so bad im out of my fucking mind and every bone and muscle in my body is screaming for mercy but i live here now and today i got to give hugs to 2 ppl i love and missed so much and i’ll get to give more hugs to more ppl i love and miss so much soon. so nothing else matters actually.

[writun]

i’m done

[draftsofcertainties]

Here's the thing. Edwin and I met in a dating app. At one point my friends told me, as they know I'm exploring and trying to meet new people after the breakup, to invite guys I meet from the dating app over to our parties or dates. Since we were talking at that time, I asked him specifically if I can invite him over or we should just stay in an fwb setup where people only do fun and then nothing beyond that. I asked this because I didn't want him to feel uncomfortable or think that I'm inviting him over to meet my friends because we're going serious or anything. He's not the only one I asked by the way. During this time we haven't met yet, but I already thought of setting boundaries already because I don't want to entertain possible relationships yet. He told me it's okay to meet my friends but he's not looking for anything serious at the moment. I told him that I am too, and I also mentioned that I've met people who actually expected more from casual conversations and it's actually unappetizing. I mean, no offense to people who are actively searching for love, but personally I think it's unusual to declare you like someone without knowing and meeting them in person yet. You can say you're interested but not to a point where you can immediately decide you want to have a deeper relationship with some random stranger from the internet, regardless of how much you've already shared with each other.

I've been there. When my ex and I clicked, I thought we would last, we jumped right into commitment without thinking long and hard. Since we were young and idealistic, we thought we could make it last, you know? Conquer everything in the way. We lasted for good 5 years but it ended badly.

Back to Edwin. So at the outset we made it clear that we're not looking for anything serious, since we also learned that we both just came from a long-term relationship recently. Who knows? We could just be using ourselves as a distraction. To be honest, I did. I am. I searched for people who would talk to me just so I wouldn't have time to think of reaching out to my ex again. I talked to almost 10 people simultaneously. It was chaotic, exhausting, and time-consuming. I eventually decided to trim down the list and only kept the ones who were actually worth talking to. Edwin is one of those people. I think we clicked the most out of all the people I met recently.

He's actually the one who initiated to meet in person. He asked if we can stay together overnight to drink and more. This was maybe our first or second conversation, hence me thinking this is only good for a one night stand, or maybe friends with benefits. I mean, a guy who asks you out to a bed and breakfast date at the onset isn't just a guy who's doing it for the first time. It's like a longer version of checking in a motel, kind of like some sex plus random miscellaneous stuff. Since I try to be open to these kind of stuff after the breakup, I said yes. Even though initially I'm not sure if I could do it. I mean, for some people sex isn't a big deal, but for me it's a whole new process of opening up to a person again. As an introvert, it's already excruciating for me to spend some minutes talking to a person out of responsibility or casualness, and to spend a whole day and do intimate things with a stranger is a bit of an overwhelming idea for me at the start. Since I'm desperate for distraction, I agreed to it -- this is my time to explore. I also thought, if it's okay for him to spend some dragging hours with a stranger like me, then fuck it. Let's go. It's going to be one night and then he'll just have to bear my boring presence, my unexperienced-unexciting-unattractive-but-desperate-for-distraction version, and soon find someone else. I mean, isn't that what friends with benefits do? From what I've heard, if there are no benefits, staying friends is close to impossible, so you find another. Then another. Then another.

Since I'm a busy bee, I explained that I couldn't meet him for an overnight date very soon (plus some hesitation on my part, and also the struggle of making excuses for my parents everytime I go out). He actually isn't pushy at all. I almost thought he just asked me out just for the sake of conversation. I met other people online who actually made plans meeting me but didn't happen. I told him I would only be available for the next 3 weeks or so, and honestly that's a little too long to wait for sex, don't you think? I mean if this guy really wants to meet me, he has to bear another 3 weeks of talking to me, which I thought would let him down since I thought he could easily get another girl for an overnight fun without needing to wait that long. Yes, I apologize for my mindset is a little fucked up. I guess it's the trauma. I think everyone I meet from the dating up is fuckinf somebody else. Or they're talking to a bunch of other people besides me. I have no memory of people being loyal or faithful. I just know that everyone else wants to have fun, and that includes me.

(I drafted this a month ago I think?)

I trained myself to think of the worst from people, but don't get me wrong. It isn't prejudice. It's my coping mechanism to expect the worst from people so that when I learn some truth that may hurt me, it wouldn't hurt as much. Also, everyone has their own struggles, dark pasts, deep secrets, and you have to be ready for all of those when you decide to welcome someone in your life regardless of how close you want them to be to you.

How did we meet in person? It's just about a week after we started talking. It's his sister's birthday. I jokingly said I want some spaghetti and then he said maybe I should come over. I told him I could, I just had to secure a ride. Long story short, I got on my way to their house, brought a birthday cake for his sister and some food as courtesy. My friend gave me a ride to their place. It was already past 8 in the evening when I arrived. I finally saw him in flesh. He was wearing a mask, but I instantly fell in love with his eyes. As he walked closer to meet me I was feeling a lot more nervous that I did moments ago. Then we started walking our way to their house. I reached out to hold his hand, and asked if it was okay. He said yes. I felt embarrassed for a few seconds because I felt like I was being too forward, we haven't even settled yet. When we entered their gated compound, he stopped in a dimly lit area and told me we could stay for a few minutes there before entering their house. I put my things on the table. He stood right in front of me and talked to me. I forgot about the words he said, I was just amazed by how beautiful his voice sounded. I'm not hearing him through my earphones. It's real.

He reached out to hug me, and he noticed I'm shaking. He hugged me tighter. I looked up to him to stare closely at his face and then I smiled. He closed in on me until our lips met, and we kissed for the first time.

It's my favorite first kiss. Because it felt like it wasn't.

It felt like we've known each other for a long time already. He actually told me this a few days after. Even though I felt the same, I waited for him to tell me about it, just so I know I wasn't the only one who felt that way that day.

We kissed for a few more minutes, and the longing for more intimacy was starting to get more intense. We were making out passionately and he couldn't keep his hands in one place. He would grab my ass, squeeze my boobs, and hold my face. As much as I wanted to get it on already, damn we weren't in the right place for that. We stopped and caught our breaths and finally decided to go inside.

He introduced me to his sister who was currently working from home that time despite it being her birthday that day. He then introduced me to his mom. The three of us ate dinner together. Me, Edwin, and his mom. Surprisingly, there wasn't an awkward moment. Edwin eventually told me that his mom didn't expect that it was actually our first time to meet in person. After dinner, he introduced me to his father. And then we proceeded to talk over a bottle of brandy, with a lot of kissing in between. And we were either holding hands or hugging while talking. And I started worrying if it's okay since his family might think we're together, despite us meeting for in person for the first time.

I eventually found out that yes, his family did think we're already together, but Edwin cleared it out for them that we weren't, and he's not rushing things for us, since I just came from a recent breakup. Rushing for what? I thought maybe he already had his mind set that there's a chance for us to last a little longer by the way he talked about us to his family.

Sometimes I think, what if we didn't meet this way? What if the first time we meet in person was the planned one night fun? But I'm always grateful that we did meet this way. It's way more memorable.

[maladaptah]

Im so close to being done w this random deer…… :D……. Like done in one day level of ready! Which makes me super happy cause i now know it’s possible for me to be able to make art good enough to post much faster and Ok so I know I said I was going to finish that orange dog and I did think about and plan to I just woke up this morning and wanted to like practice with something quick as a warm up because I know from experience that I do my best work when I’m just coming down from the high of a quick mindless drawing that actually ended up turning out really cute, like I just knew that it would give me heaps of art energy. So to start the day off on the right foot you know- I was like oh I just need to crank soemthing out that’s easy and cute and I really REALLY liked that monkey I posted a couple of days ago which was exactly what I needed… an accidental warm up that turned out cute and took under 30mins …. So I thought id do something similar today! The monkey was basically just sketching over a random thumbnail concept painting of a design I didn’t care abt and haphazardly coloring it so I went and found another shitty concept painting of something to line over

Butttttt what was originally supposed to be a simple cleanup of an existing meh design turned into a - oh I’ll just slightly- update the color pallete a little bit and then just some small slight little changes to the silhouette and then before I knew it I was on yet another Pinterest image collecting tangent completely revamping the entire design and relearning how to draw a new species….. just….yeah… basically I chewed through all my best working hours today so i only have a good 2hrs left of drawing energy before I start becoming too tired to make good art but too unwilling to go yet another day without finishing that FAKCING orange dog so I stress stay up and tell myself I’ll have a short break to unwind and then the short break becomes a fixation on some new tv series or YouTube genre and I watch videos for 10hrs and then it’s the next day and I’ve been awake for 25hrs and no longer live in my countries Timezone and then oh it’s okay I’ll just pull an all nighter to remix it so I try to stay up the entire day as well but I get tired at the 30hr mark and fall asleep at an even more awkward time and then I remember just as I’m drifting off that oh shit my aunties coming over so I stress half awake half asleep nap for 2hrs where I stress wake up every 10 minutes ruining my rem because I think every little noise is my auntie at the door. And then it’s day 365 of not finishing that orange dog and being awake 20hrs and just ….. wish I had adhd medication or like cognitive therapy or somehting…my sleep health has been fucked my whole life like… doesn’t that shit shave years off ur life… and like gives u pimples and like this FUCKINF orange dog

But yah anyways I’m nearly done w this random deer woohooooooo😆😆😆😆 it’s gna be dressed like 70s Austin power flamboyant he/him kinda vibes! I cbf cleaning up the clothed version rn cos Ik that will shave another 10 years off of my life span so its just like normal water deer coloring dont have ur hopes too high oh and….. I’m not like 100% in love with the fur patterning but yk it was SUPPOSED to be something easy and I need to just let it be and I already decided the jacket and glasses save it okay just trust me….. like it’s cute w clothes …… I promise …. it really solves the color blocking issues and like most furries are clothed anyway?? Right so it doesn’t matter and it was supposed to be easy and ugly not my magnum opus and the coloring and anatomy isn’t too bad so it’s fine and like and and such as and therefore !!!!!!

[gardenstateofmind]

tw for depression mental illness self harm etc

i had only planned on calling out for thursday, and i actually tried going into work last night but i was so dizzy that as i was putting my shoes on and putting on my coat to literally walk out the door to go to work i fucking fell, it took me too long to finally get out and my fucking uber cancelled on me, even tgough i had still managed to run outside and even waved my hand around to show the driver where i was

and i still manage to hold it together for another minute and try to get another uber but the closest one was 13 minutes away which would mean id be late to work, and that's when i fuckinf broke and just like fell onto parking lot in front of my apartment sobbing

went inside and called the staffing office to call out and the lady fucking yelled at me which like it literally does not impact that person in ANY way whatsoever, she's not even related to the unit i work kn at the hospital, like she was literally just a cunt to me for absolutelt no reason

and i was so fucking drained and sick i didnt even have the energy to be mad or upset anymore so i just went to sleep and i wole up arojnd modnight amd habe just been like. existing since then i guess, and im supposed to work tonight but im gonna habe to call out again bc im actually just fucking worse now.

what i actually want to do is find that bitch from staffing and attack her but then id most definitely lose my license, not just my job

which like even if they do want to fire me, they cant, bc im legit sick, but fucking hell do i not want to go through that process.

anyway i want 2 die but i cant do that which means j need to remakn semi functional and not destroy my life bc i need to keep living in it and im so bitter about this im two seconds away from doing something dramatic and stupid

[dayoung-remade]

tea on all moon signs 👀 ,, and also i !! really !! love !! your !! blog !! my heart flips everytime u post ajhssjsjdj 😤💓💘💞💖❤