#fucks sake im exhausted

[jekyllnahyena]

just me ranting about family shit

I've just realised that the weird tactic my mother has been trying to pull has actually worked in a way.

She been going on and on that I need to out myself to people personally because she hopes that it'll stop me from doing so and sometimes it does, because it's plain exhausting to do and sometimes my personal discomfort is more bearable than dealing with the tension and exhaustion and fear. (my family is very traditional and catholic if u couldn't tell :))

And it's somehow burned that idea into my brain that I gotta do that shit alone and that I can't really expect help from other people, because my parents do their best to ignore it for the most part.

Queue to me callling my sister, because the family is gonna meet this weekend and I realised, that my parents have apparently been completely avoiding so much as talking about me being trans with others, especially my brother in laws fam, whomst is also very, veeeery catholic, and they'll be there. And that one is partly on me, cause I've been avoiding calling her because she has a fresh fucking baby there that takes a lot of time and energy going and I don't wana add to that, which. I should know better at this point.

Because she so very easily just went: 'Hey of course I'll talk to the people for you, I'll do everything to make you more comfortable and if there's a problem, please come to me so I can help :) also, kinda sucks that you didn't call sooner because then I could've made more preperations to comb through people and make sure everybody respects you!' and proceeded to tell my nephew, on the phone, that he has another uncle now.

Did I cry a bit at that? yes, I did.

tears of absolute manliness I'll tell you that

[halogalopaghost]

Okay so. I just saw someone had straight up posted all 8 pages of the ROTTMNT 40th anniversary comic and like...yo ho and all that, pirating is good and fine...but this is not the time. I have two points:

1: if you want more ROTTMNT, Nickelodeon only measures ONE FUCKING METRIC and it's MONEY. Reading the comic on tumblr, raving about it or trending the tag or engaging with the creators on twitter, none of that matters to them. They don't go on tumblr, engagement isn't actionable and more importantly it means jack diddly squat to board members and investors, who are the REAL target audience of literally everything. If you want more ROTTMNT, you HAVE to buy the fucking comic with your actual money

2: the publishing industry, both of comics and books, works a whole lot differently than the movie and TV industry. Pirating comics and books

a: directly takes money from the hands of artists and authors in the form of royalties,

b: lowers chances of landing on bestsellers lists, and

c: means you are less likely to see more of it because the industry measures success in money!!!!

That goes for all of you who want to see the 2003 series get the Saturday Morning Adventures treatment. You have to show up with cash in hand.

In summary: if you want to pirate the comics because you can't afford it or whatever, that's okay. I'm not making moral judgements here. But you should do it quietly, and wait a few weeks at least. I cannot even imagine being the artist who worked for weeks on that comic to see it on tumblr in full the day of release, that's just fucking awful. Be respectful and remember that if you want more of something, you DO have to pay for it.

[knifekris]

every day i struggle to make choices

[thevoidpeeringback]

I really don’t know why I bother anymore.

[stigmasochist]

.

[princessmyriad]

IM PISSED WHAT THE FUCK

[mainfaggot]

I have been having a hard time falling asleep lately like not as bad as pre-taking sleeping meds ... it only takes an hour to be snorking and mimiming but my body hurts all over and I toss and turn and I can't get my brain to Shut UP no matter how exhausted I am it's the worst like I just have to wait for the sleeping pills to take over bc otherwise I could probably stay up for 3 hours trying to sleep without them

[ritualslaughter]

I don't want to generalise but I think people that think ttpd is so deep and excellent songwriting are also the same people who think acotar is the height of fiction

[235uranium]

I exist in a weird little bubble where romance involves murder but they have to be having fun about it. if one of them dislikes the dynamic then this is not shipping but instead an exercise in horror/angst. or they're divorced

[buckys-metal-arm]

Look man I'm not a fan of Peggy in What If either but the ferocity some of y'all hate her with feels feels really excessive

and before anyone goes "tHen DoN't lOoK aT iT" it's not like I go fuckin looking for it the Bucky tag and the What If tag have been clogged with it recently in light of the show and i am. So tired.

[majorbisexualpanic]

it’s like he’s trying to prevent me from going to bed at night i swear to god.

[scarletcomet]

there's such a stigma around mental illness, especially around psych wards. fuck that. i've been using and will continue to use "i was just released from the psych ward" as an excuse when something feels too overwhelming, even the most simple tasks.

[strawberrymilkshakeearrings]

i know im complaining abt this on the gay website so im preaching to the choir but im just absolutely exhausted at the fact that im seeing literally almost word-for-word the same arguments against trans people that i used to hear about LGB people fifteen years ago. cant we just skip to the part where its at least socially unacceptable for a politician to pubically campaign on that platform.

[chimeragirlpleopods]

everytime one of my giving a fuck layers snaps in tatters it slowly reconstructs itself, usually when exterior things are subnominal, until i get another 'snaps loudly' moment

[shatterthefragments]

I’m being overdramatic I know, but maybe I’m just meant to be miserable.

(“Well maybe you shouldn’t do these sailing trips if you get so sick after” IM TOO OLD NOW ANYWAY. IM DONE WHETHER I WANT TO BE OR NOT. IVE SPENT A MONTH AT SEA TOTAL NOW. AND I REALLY FUCKING HOPED THAT I WOULDNT GET SICK THIS TIME. and I didn’t the first time (you know when Everyone still was asked to mask and we tested before boarding)) and I booked the rest of the week off to recover. That I have to call in sick for at least a little bit now too. Yeah. That sucks for all of us. Nothing I can do but not die or whatever)

[matchbet-allofthetime]

I swear to fucking god, if one more game/series/whatever other media has characters in a setting labeled directly as a college setting (as in that post secondary education place typically only adults attend, with few exceptions)

And those characters are under 18. And those characters either look like fourteen year olds or whole ass adults—

I am going to lose my FUCKING mind.