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sandveforfatter-blog · 7 years

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Flawed

A pang struck me. "I'll see you tomorrow, right?." Emily said, looking at me with vulnerable eyes. The now cold coffee soaked my pants, leaving me dissatisfied. The usually pleasant interview turned sour, ending all too abruptly. We had only been talking for half an hour, Emily and me before our interview of my youth turned sour. It started like any other interview before. At seven in the morning I arrived at the cafe spotting Emily seated at the empty long table in front of the window. The cafe was full of customers, enjoying their morning coffee, a couple at a table bickered about the wait. Emily's odd way of sitting separated her from everyone else in the cafe, giving her an almost alien look to her surroundings. I paused for a moment to observe her. She wore a bright white jacket over top a blue shirt and black jean pants. She was leaning forward on the table, head on her left elbow, her piercing green eye lined eyes staring at her cup of coffee. Her long brown hair strewn about the table with her rough cut face accented by the morning light. She twirled the stir stick of her coffee around with one finger smirking at her meaningless task. I didn't understand why she was smiling, but I enjoyed her pleasant look. I looked around at everyone in the cafe, they all sat upright drinking their coffee blank faced. Emily noticed me then she waved me over smiling jubilantly. I sat beside her. "How are you today Eric!" "Good, but tired." I yawned stretching to relieve myself of exhaustion. "Must we meet so early in the morning everyday." "Awe boo hoo" she said mockingly, hands rubbing away imaginary tears from her eyes. "Is seven o'clock really that early here?" she asked. "Yes, it is!" "Huh, interesting" She said as she scribbled down some notes in a small book she seemingly pulled out of nowhere. I sat quietly waiting for her to finish her notes, as I always did. Once she was done, she turned to me and said, "Well, I am pretty much aware of almost everything I need, but I still don't know how the schooling works here and children's lives. So why don't you tell me about your youth, how you grew up." "Well, sure, but I warn you my childhood was rather boorish" "I'm sure that's not true at all, you're very interesting." She said jokingly patting me on my shoulder. "Well, where should I start?" "Let's go with the earliest days of school you remember, and describe how the school system works too" I explained to Emily about my short years in school and how I flew through the normal thirteen year program in five years. I told Emily how I took a class on world behavior to better understand life outside of Haven. I described how our school taught young kids of five in the first year, how to treat other kids, social manners and minor math, science, and art teachings. Then through the next five years we were taught basic math, basic science, and basic art skills, as well as sports and Havens history. Then the final stretch of seven years teaches kids about whatever they have interest in dependent on an interview with teachers. Though I finished all this early I still understood the structure of it. Emily seemed fascinated, but oddly confused by the structure of it all, wondering whether kids got free time during school to play, and what kind of classes were available to the students in the final tier of schooling. She then asked whether the students got grades, to which I had no idea what she was referring, explaining that our schools didn't rate students. Emily paused for a moment, then said, "So you don't have to worry about failing at school then?" I replied, "Yes, what would be the point of doing it if you could fail." "So that you can strive to succeed." Emily retorted. "You can't tell me you don't know what that means?" "It's not that I don't know what you mean, it's just that failure is only going to cause stress that people don't need." "Well, I disagree, struggles can only make a person strong if dealt with properly." Emily said as she scribbled down some notes in her book. "How can you grow properly without struggling?" I did not understand what she said to me. "I'm sorry, but you're wrong our people don't have to worry about anything and we are doing very well. Struggling is just dumb." I said. Emily looked at me disapprovingly, which caught me off guard. "Anyways, what else did you want to know?" I quickly stuttered hoping to change the mood. "Well, what about your life outside of school, how was that?" Emily said after a pause, then returned to her normal demeanor. "Oh, you wouldn't want to hear about that, I just read books and studied. Nothing much there." "Okay, what about your father? There are sure to be interesting stories around him, a big council man!" Emily said enthusiastically. "Not much my father makes me do some of his work for him, and he was too busy working to fully take care of me. Honestly, if he was dead I might not even notice!" I said jokingly, laughing afterwards. "Did you just say that!" Emily suddenly barked at me. She was now standing facing me with an angered expression. "You have no idea what the death of a father feels like do you!?" I sat silently, shocked at Emily's sudden anger. Emily glared at me for a moment, then became flustered as she looked around at the now interested customers around the cafe. "I think I should go." She said as she quickly reached for her bag and notebook sitting on the table. "Emily I-" Shocked filled me as Emily's coffee poured onto my lap. It seemed as Emily pulled her bag off the table it knocked the cup sending it tumbling from its plate, and onto my lap. I yelped expecting hot coffee, but only got a cold sensation as the coffee soaked into my pants. Emily panicked as I yelped, frantically fumbling with some napkins for the cold mess as she said. "Oh, i'm so sorry, that was so dumb of me!" "It's okay, it's not hot." I sighed. A moment of silence filled the cafe as Emily dabbed at the stain on my pants with a red face. The other customers watching eagerly, waiting to see what would happen next. "I really should go." Emily said standing up while looking down, away from my gaze. She grabbed her things and walked to the door, than stopped. "I'll see you tomorrow, right?" I just nodded, than she left. I sat there for a moment, confused. I wondered why I was in the kind of situation in the first place. The 21 year old Emily had arrived here in Haven two months ago as a journalist from Cambit, trying to be an eyewitness to the secrets of the closed off Nation. She was to interview my father a member of the Council of peoples. A twelve men and women's council who were the go between between our Overmind computer and our people. The Overmind computer acted as our nations governing force, controlling all the robots that ran our nation. From farming to construction, and the distribution of goods they handled the entire infrastructure of Haven. Due to this structure the need for currency died as every person was allotted whatever they needed. Through incubation reproduction the population is kept under control as well. Given straight to their parents from incubation the children grow up through mandatory schooling to then become anything. They can do whatever they want from reading everyday to construction, and writing to business. People also have no fear of premature death, with nanobots injected at birth that kills all disease and even heal any wounds. Built as a giant island city and walled off from the world Haven practically lives up to its name. Whereas Cambit which pertains the rest of the world is built as a capitalist nation with a council of peers who govern the entire nation. People work day in and day out just to get by in life, not able to do everything they want. Though no war happens, the two nations have no communication as Haven keeps its doors closed to all, except for now. A recent negotiation between Cambit and Haven has opened the doors of Haven for the very first time. Cambit desired to understand the world of Haven more and our Overmind and council decided that letting them see our way of life may cause Cambit to desire to change to Havens superior lifestyle, joining Haven as a whole. Emily only had the chance to interview my father once. He was always busy with his council work, so he never had time to meet with Emily. My Father pointed Emily in my direction only two weeks after Emily arrived. I would regularly help my father with his work, so I had a similar experience as he did towards Haven, understanding its inner working. I also had more of a normal citizen view of Haven, unlike my workaholic father. We first met at my house. Emily told me how she wanted to know everything there was to know about Haven. Our first real interview together was a strange experience for me to say the least. We met in the park near Haven's Gate. I was nervous, I had never met a girl alone and my age before. I had never even dated a girl before. Emily had been waiting for me on a park bench looking out over a pond freckled with ducks and geese. The fading cloud line revealing a beautiful blue sky, casting a beam of light directly on Emily. As I approached, I noticed she was writing furiously in her book she kept with herself. Like in the cafe she looked alien, but substantially more so back then. She casually wore a red button up shirt that fit her nicely, as well as navy blue jeans which framed her feminine features quiet well. This simple array of clothes greatly contrasted my own as well as the few other people in the park's attire. White jackets atop white long sleeved shirts and white dress pants with black shoes, though not everyone wore identical clothing the differences between them were fewer than the similarities. As I approached Emily she didn't notice me at first, too deeply entranced by her own writings. Waiting for a bit I expected her to notice my arrival sadly she did not stray from her book. I leaned, closer taking the opportunity to see what she was writing, perhaps something about me. The page was messily scribbled on with countless word of emotion all sharing a similar theme of negativity. Words like angry, or frustrated were rough and thick lettered covering small spaces of the page, whereas words like sad, or weak hid beneath scribbles and other words lightly printed almost invisible, but fat taking up most of the page. Moving ever so closer to see what new things she was writing, unaware of my surroundings, I slipped, My hand using the backrest as support found a wet patch and slid carelessly out from under me. Managing to catch myself, I slumped into a casual sitting position, feeling smug I forget the situation I am in. Looking to Emily I was met with a concerned and brightly flushed face her book in her lap closed. "Get to know a girl first!" Emily said slapping me across the face. It seemed in my fumble I managed to slip my arm around her shoulders, where than my hand fell loosely resting over top her left breast. I jumped back away from Emily grabbing my rogue hand, a red hand print burning on my face. Touching a breast like this for my first time had not been how I imagined it going. A swirl of emotions tumbled around my head. A long pause of silence filled the air. I peered to Emily, who almost appeared to be waiting, seeming not as perturbed by the event as I. I began to ponder on the strange writings I had seen in Emily's book and what they could possibly mean. The thought distracted me, and I had all but forgotten the event prior when I asked Emily, "So what were you writing in there." Pointing to the book in her lap. "Oh that, yeah... Well... Let's just say something personal. Something no one is supposed to see." "Oh" Another paused sat between us. "So you were just trying to see my book before, not fondle me" "Yeah... Sorry about that, really, I didn't mean to-" "It's fine just don't do it again." "Why were you trying to see what I was writing, are you some sort of creep?" "No! I was just curious about what you write about." I said too embarrassed to admit I wanted to know if she was writing about me, my cheeks mimicking tomatoes. "You could have just asked," Emily proclaimed. "If you want to get to know me, just get to know me" "Really, after what I just did to you, you're okay with that!?" "Sure, I mean you didn't mean to assault me before. Plus you seem interesting enough." I paused for a moment in shock. Didn't expect it to go this way, I thought. "Okay, yeah let's do it!" I reached out my hand to Emily for a handshake. Giving me a puzzled smirk she accepted. "Yeah, sounds fun! Now what we came here to do." She said with a bright smile. The interview was short lived that day. We planned to meet every week morning with the location switching between local cafe's and restaurants. Our meetings became more casual over the preceding month. We learned more and more about each other. We became the closest I could imagine friends becoming and quickly my time with Emily became the most enjoyable part of my day. Till today that is. I left the cafe pants still damp with coffee. It was still early around eight o'clock as I headed home. It was a cold morning. The sun was hidden behind thick dark clouds that covered the morning sky, letting only a few slivers of light through. As I walked home in discomfort I looked around the city I lived in. People filled the streets doing their own unique thing for the day. Each and every person looked fine walking alone or with another facing the world ahead of them. Everyone looked young and healthy, the images of pure perfection with beautiful skin, and thick luscious hair men and women both. Their figures were all that of the ideal image, the perfect body fat percentage for athletes. Me included I had the same beautiful hair, skin, and body, and this was all thanks to our Haven. This city provided us with the perfect lives, so why worry about anything this place is perfect. I arrived at my home relatively quickly. My home, which I shared with father, like any other stood between two others of its kind. I swung open the door to my home and kicked off my shoes along with my pants, tossing them to the side where a small cleaning bot gathered them up, shoe arranged neatly by the door and pants to be washed. I walked upstairs through the picture laden stairwell. All the pictures were of moments of success in mine and my father's life. They were all the same picture taken in different spot during different years, though the theme stayed the same. Save for two pictures one old the other more recent. The older picture sat at the top of the stairs across from the new one, it showed a family portrait of me as a baby, my father, and my mother. My mother had left Haven shortly after I was born, I was never told why by my father. Perhaps he didn't know himself or perhaps he didn't want to know. The other picture was a portrait of me dressed in an all white suit silhouetted by Haven itself as if viewed from a high wall or cliff. I hated it. I took to my room, an all white room with a white bed and white desk. The single small window looked out to the streets below lively with the daily bustle. I flopped on my bed and stared at the blank ceiling above me. I began recalling the mess at the cafe with Emily. I couldn't understand the reason for her outburst, and what did she mean by the death of a father. Did she lose her father, why wouldn't she have told me. Also, how could someone grow from struggling if it's not needed, Emily seemed convinced. Pulling out my phone and holding it up in front of my face I thought, maybe I should call her and ask. The opening and slam of the front door cut my thought short. I walked to the stairs to see who it was. My father stood at the doorway removing his shoes. "Hey father, what were you doing this morning?" I said. My father looked up from his shoes, "Oh, Hello, I was just doing some work for the council. People's requests and such, you know." "Okay." I said leaning on the railings of the stairs. "Father? I am just curious, but do you know how someone could benefit from struggling?" "Umm... No son, I can't say I do" "Oh, okay." "What is this about exactly?" "Well, Emily said something weird today. I told her struggling was dumb and isn't needed to succeed, but she sort of disagreed asking me how we grow without struggling" "Well son, it is dumb. It's sad to say, but Emily must be pretty stupid to think that she needs to grow through struggling. We all know that people grow just fine without hardships or worries here." "Huh... yeah, you must be right." I said pausing for a moment, then I walked upstairs to my room. I sat on my bed with this clawing feeling, digging its way into my head. Almost like an idea was infiltrating my thoughts from some foreign place. Emily wasn't dumb I knew that, but what she was talking about today was nothing I have ever heard of. If what she says is true, what does that mean for me. I stared at phone reading Emily's name over and over searching for an answer hidden somewhere within it. The phone rang suddenly in my hand, it was Emily. I answered it. Emily's voice appeared through the phone, "Hey Eric I want to apologize for the way I acted, that wasn't fair, to you and I am sure you didn't mean anything by what you said. Can we meet in an hour at noon where we had our first interview." "Yeah, sure. I'll see you there." Emily hung up, and I sat impatient waiting for noon. I got to the park early around eleven fifty in hopes to be there before Emily so I could prepare my thoughts for whatever it was I was going to hear. Dark clouds covered the sky, blocking all sunlight from seeing the earth as a slight wind chilled the air. The park was empty, not a soul in sight save for Emily sitting at the same bench as the first time. A dreary pond lay before her dark and paled. I approached her and sat down. We sat in silence for some fifteen some odd minutes before Emily spoke staring straight ahead. Her voice came slowly and soft from her lips. "Eric, I am sorry for spazzing out at you today" I said nothing, only looked at Emily, hoping to see her face looking at me. "I want to explain why I freaked out at you, so you can at least understand why I said those things." She stood up and walked to the pond, as I followed silently. "I recently had to deal with my father's death. He was murdered in his office while he worked. My father was a journalist, he wrote about the truths of the world. He would never stop looking for the truth, no matter how much trouble it brought with it. When I was little my father would always tell me stories about his adventures, how he would scale mountains and traverse deserts to seek out the real stories of the world. He always wanted the world to know the reality, no matter how harsh it was." Emily stopped for a moment letting out a quivering sigh. "He was reporting on a story about a gangster. During his interviewing he discovered a secret of theirs he wasn't supposed to know, and they killed him so it wouldn't get out." For a moment I felt as if to say something, but before I could she continued. "My father worked hard to earn our family a living, he struggled every day. I looked up to my father, so when he died, I took it really hard. I still have trouble dealing with it now, and believing the fact that he's gone. Even though I wish he were here I believe that his death helped me grow. I could see specks of tears welling in her eyes. "If I never lost my father I would have never become the journalist I am today" Emily still gazed at the pond as the sun pierced through the clouds, illuminating the park and pond. I stared at Emily for a moment, then looked out over the pond. The new sunlight shone across the water, revealing ecstatic life beneath the surface, fish in troves swam about the small pond in a rhythmic dance, almost as if to praise the suns arrival, the water baring a radiant blue hue. Just maybe... I looked back to Emily to see her facing me smiling. I reached out and hugged Emily, we shared a small moment then released. I gazed at Emily, her eyeliner smeared across her cheeks from where the tears were wiped away. Her disheveled hair lazily catching the soft wind. I was entranced by her look of complete vulnerability. She was beautiful.

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