#fully embracing my delusions

[clouvu]

Genshin catgirl yuri on the brain

[t4tnavysea1]

I don’t know about all of you but I am fully ready to wear my clown costume with pride when talking about what’s going to happen tomorrow.

[ame-to-ame]

okok just reminding myself. after my 2nd doctor's appt. no more thinking abt my health. no more spiralling. for just one week. one week and then I'll have my next appointment and we'll rinse and repeat

[certifiedwhore4slashers]

Manipulative

pairing: coriolanus snow x f!reader, past oc x f!reader.

summary: he’s fallen way too deep, and he knows that.

a/n: i am in no way romanticizing nor defending his actions, he sucks as a person, this is for funsies, keep that in mind. remember he’s literally responsible for mass murders of children. also this idea is cliche ik ik. but, if you want more I will do more with original ideas.

reader has somewhat long hair, BUT no other descriptions of the reader. and I don’t usually do that. just for this post:)

warnings: yandere themes, toxicity, manipulative behavior(manipulation) obsession, possessiveness, no fluff, implied/referenced murder, slight blood, narcissistic tendencies, delusion, unhealed trauma, implied stalking, mild violence.

The meadow was where you’d often go. Ever since the games, it was a stress reliever, humming some songs or even just listening to the birds chirp.

After Coriolanus was sent to be a peacekeeper, You were sent home. District 12 was your home. You sat down on the cold rock. You were more of an creative artist than musician. Sometimes you wrote songs, and sometimes you wrote poems or just stories.

But you didn’t feel like doing anything today, just admiring the breeze in front of you. You were fairly zoned out when you hear a twig snap, and turn around.

You sigh of relief.”Sorry. Still have those instincts from the games.” You rushed over, not doing much. Still in disbelief he really was there.

You didn’t expect him to be here. But here he was. “It leaves quite the impression, He chuckled. It was a long embrace, and you say,”You found me. Quite surprised.”

“You figured I would, He teased. “Not this fast, and really it was hope, You tease right back, lips on his, it was passionate and sweet, ideal for a reunion.

“The sun’s hot, come in the shade, You offer. He had some ice, now melted and offered it.”Here. For you.” “Thank you, You reply.

You were very thirsty. The moment the water hit your tongue you were in heaven. “This must be the only cold thing in November, he joked.

You laugh in response.”So, Coriolanus Snow, What are you doing in the Meadow?” You were half joking. You never were fully serious. At least until it came to your feelings for him.

“Spending some time with my girl, He replies. The word My, a possessive tone, You notice. But brush it off.

“It’s unbelievable, You admit.”Truly. But I was surprised they brought me back. I swore It was all me.” “But it wasn’t, he points out. You look at him.”Clearly they didn’t believe me.”

His lips were on yours again, long and passionate. You two hadn’t seen each other since the games ended.

“Well, It was hard to believe for me too, He admits.”Tell me what happened after.” It was difficult to recall everything. The games were a nightmare. Especially the Arena. And Mayfair.

As the two of you share the water, You couldn’t help but wonder as he told stories, exchanging them, if something was wrong.

“Poor Jessup, You say sympathetically.”He didn’t deserve that. It was you, though, wasn’t it? The one who killed Bobbin?”

“I had to, Coriolanus replied.”He tried to kill me.” “I’m not saying what you did was wrong, but I suppose killing is for survival in the Arena, You reply. Snow only nodded.

“I heard the others brag, You say.”So I know. I thought the worst happened. You know, that you were dead.”

Heading back up beside him, You still couldn’t believe he was here. Whatever relationship you had, seemed to grow.

“What have you been up to? He asks, curiously.”It’s been a while.” “It has, you laugh.”And truly, not much. A few performances here and then. At the Hob, Maude Ivory’s an amazing singer like Lucy Gray.”

For a mere moment, You were in complete bliss. And that night was a normal evening for the Covey. Your parents were killed, well, your adoptive parents. They took you in, then Maude Ivory came along, your younger sister.

You became a part of the Covey. Until of course, their murders. But you had her, at least. “You want one? A peacekeeper asks, referring to liquor.”You might need it for your performance.”

“Sure, You grin, taking a swig, not making a reaction to the bitterness of it.”You’re right. I might need it.” Lucy Gray was a beautiful singer, but tonight, let you perform.

“Are you sure? I’m not the songbird, You tease. “I’m sure, and Maude Ivory wanted you to, She sweetly says. Your cousin was always the songbird.

“Besides, I think he’d like to hear you sing, Lucy Gray smirked. You knew who she was referring to. Truly the one who knew of your relationship, but by accident.

You wore a yellow dress, not too short but not too long either, and sunflowers in your hair. You wanted to have a good impression.

You tease her,”I think he’d like to hear you.” But you went up there, guitar in hand. A talent that you and Lucy Gray both had. It was the genes, you swore.

But you amazed the crowd as you sang. You were no Songbird. But you had some talent. And the whole time your eyes were on him.

It made him feel more special, in a way. Like the only person could make you feel this happy was him. Him. You were his, at least in his eyes.

But you did a wonderful performance. You mostly did instruments and stood in the background. You didn’t sing much.

Even though you were aware he was there, you went on, even with butterflies in your stomach. It was later that evening that things went downhill.

You said goodbye, even to Coriolanus, saying,”I shouldn’t be out so late anyway. But I promise, straight tomorrow. I’m sure you have peacekeeper things to do, anyway.”

He smiles.”It’s alright. You must be tired from that performance.” You laugh, then nod, quickly kissing him, then moving along.

You didn’t notice that he followed you. He was quite literally, obsessed. Especially after hearing your sweet voice. Since finding your home in the Seam, it wasn’t hard to follow you, and pretend he was there for something else.

Sometimes, he’d meet you there. Other times, didn’t even know he was there watching. He’d call it protectiveness. But it was really a sense of possessiveness over you.

That’s what it really was.

He heard your voice in your room, you sang to yourself. You sang a love song. That wasn’t hard to understand.

He had a sense of jealousy. It was clear the lyrics wasn’t about him. A past one, maybe. It wasn’t Billy Taupe. He had Lucy Gray. So who could you mentioned?

He was bloodthirsty. Or at least, had a taste for violence. He’d never say it or admit it. It was like he was a rebel. And he hated rebels.

But that didn’t stop him from feeling this way. As you danced and sang a little. Coriolanus defended his behavior, he was being protective of you. That nobody would hurt you.

He had fallen way too deep. And he was aware. You might feel the same about him, just as equally obsessed as he was. But that night, he wasn’t looking for trouble. Not much, anyway.

Someone stood beside him, admiring your singing. “Peacekeeper, huh? The male laughed. Coriolanus turns.”Yeah. Punishment. Not a choice.”

“She’s always been a singer, the male explained.”didn’t have much faith.” He wanted to know how the male knew that.

“How do you know? Coriolanus asked, curiously. “She wrote that song about me, the male bragged and seemed proud.”One of these days she’ll get back together with me.”

You never mentioned your ex lover much. Only that he hurt you, and that he was still infatuated. You were right about that.

“She isn’t interested, Coriolanus says, coldly. His fists clenched, along with his jaw, both from the rage he was feeling.

Maybe it was his narcissistic tendencies that were showing. A feeling of shame. A feeling that, he was superior than the male standing in front of him. He’d do so much better.

And with that, he swung. He could’ve shot him. But it was the easy way. And he didn’t deserve the easy way. His blood thirst took over a little, and like Bobbin, didn’t know how far his strength would go.

He stands back, his knuckles bleeding and blood on his uniform he’d have to explain later. Maybe it was a mistake coming to visit you. Your singing had stopped.

He pants. What had he done? Standing over the body, Coriolanus realized what he truly had done. And what could he do? He didn’t want a career as a peacekeeper; but his future would be damaged even further. He had to do something.

The Lake.

It brought him good memories. Swimming alongside you and the covey. But he’d have to hide the body somewhere.

It took a lot of his strength; but didn’t wear him out to drag him to the lake. It wouldn’t be too hard hiding evidence. His body would eventually disappear and Coriolanus doubted anybody cared about him. You didn’t anymore.

And he just watched. After the blood washed off, He walked away. He left the Seam. He'd come back. But You'd be aware of it.

Morning came, and peacekeepers came knocking at your door. The whole morning was a mess. When you did eventually meet up with Coriolanus, you decided on telling him about it.

“Did you know? She asked.”I’m assuming every peacekeeper knew. The guy I used to go out with was murdered. Found in the lake.”

“We were informed today, but I wasn’t the one who found it, He lies. He did not like lying, but he had to. He held a tight grip on you.

And he wasn’t letting you go.

[demonsword586]

Leviathan Attacker part 5

(Out of context,I am a bit afraid of getting taken down. Since I'm pretty sure we all heard what happened to whb wiki and the person in charge of it. As of now there is ln't too much info but apperantly someone reported them and they had to take down all the pics and audios and their blog is also down?! I dunno,I'm just a bit nervous for everyone who is posting a lot of PB's work in case we also get reported and all of this would go to hell.I really hope the person who arcvhived everything for the public isn't in a lot of trouble. It hurts seeing someone who worked so hard for this fandom get ghosted out of existence. Anyway enjoy your horny deer boy)

Leviathan: Ku,urgh...

Leviathan stiffened for moment.

Not because he had calmed down,but because he had ejaculated largly inside !ou again.

A great rush of pleasure,washed over you as you felt your stomach fill with his fluids again. At the same time,you began to feel something else fill you.

MC: How....Why...are you getting harder?!

As you screamed,Leviathan began thrusting inside you roughly,as though the tightwned grip on his throat has made him more than pleased.

You tried to calm Leviathan down somehow,placing a hand over your hole to stop his cock but it backfired.

He buckled his hips harder,as if your touch has made him even more excited.

Each time he did so,the rattling balls beneath his cock,slapped against your bottom

Unable to resist the pleasure that had taken over your head,your hand that was holding the curtain ribbon finally let go.

Wheter you passed out or died while having sex with him,it would be a death of luxury that would make the former devils of Hades jealous.

With those thoughts,you began to mark Leviathan's entire body as if in a final act of death.

You pulled yourself up by placing one hand behind your back and with your free hand you frantically grabbed Leviathan's shoulders,forearms and chest,punching and slapping,embracing the pleasure that was driving you.

In the meantime,your soften and swollen hole and Leviathan's fully hardened flesh were rubbing against each other,producing an endless stream of moisture.

You had a feeling that Leviathan was about to ejaculate again.

This time however,you wanted him to call out your name,rather than to come inside you in a daze.

MC: Leviathan...ugh..Levi...ah!..than...Who am I?

Leviathan: Shut up.....

MC: Look properly...mmgh...Who am I?

Leviathan: Urgh...fuck...Mc

Your fingertips and toes twiched and your eyes narrowed as the perfect auditory stimulus was applied.

It was like a bull running downhill after being kicked in the bottom and then being lifted back up in the air.

In a moment that felt very long,you tightened your inner walls with all the strenght your body could mutter, in your almost unconscious state.

Leviathan: Kurgh?!

Leviathan's eyes seem to turn bright red,and then he buckled his hips harder than you expected,spewing a massive load of cum into you.

MC: No...there's...no more space inside my stomach...I think it will come out of my mouth!

You uttered something,you didn't even know you were saying.

At the same time,a large fountain splashed unknowingly between your legs.

You felt giddy,like you had just ejaculated for the first time in your life and your whole body tingled.

You had a lot of expectations and fantasies about love and sex in your life,including a variety of diffrent and somewhat bizzare,if you will,delusions as well.

Like the clinches that weren't used that much these days even in the K-dramas that Minhyeoks family enjoyed watching.

Sex with Leviathan however,went far beyond that and fulfilled your most basic desires.

The feeling of being a female,being completely owned and held by the strongest male in the world.

That was an expwrience you would never felt on Earth.

MC: Ha...ha...ha...

A feeling of exaustion beyond a pleasant langour washed over you.

MC:( Will I...really die like this?...From coition death?!)

That was a death that was very becoming of you in itself. But...

MC: ( I'd feel a little bad for Minhyeok if I died like that...)

The moment the thought struck,Leviathan's eyes which seemed to be locked in a state of perfect pleasure flashed with frightwning intensity.

The half-dazed,half-crazed look he had before was now nowhere to be seen.

Leviathan: Who are you thinking of,when me is infront of you?

Leviathan: When I am filling you to the brim like this!

The aura of jealousy dripping from his eyes rwminded you of cum drippi g from his cock.

MC: Levi..ahtan...are you,ugh..awake,agh?!

For a moment you wondered if Levoathan had come to his senses and was done with this act.

He was rubbing his penis that was dripping wirh cum over your genitals.

You were already feeling lanquid,but as he gently rubbed himself on you,you felt sleep wash over you with a faint sense of pleasure.

The cum he'd ejaculated was dripping down but he coudn't be bothered.

MC: Leviathan...

Leviathan: What?

MC: Are you still cold?

Leviathan: !

Leviathan widened his eyes in slight suprise,before returning to his normal expression.

And then he carefully brushed the wet hair off your cheek with a hot hand.

Leviathan:....It's warm.

MC: That's a relief.

You said and completely fell asleep.

You opened your bleary eyes,feeling the sun gently warm your cheeks.

MC: Leviathan...?

You were laying on Leviathan's bed alone.

Barbatos: Ah,are you awake? MC? I understand that you would suddenly open your eyes because the sun makes you feep good!

Foras: ...But it may have been to keep your eyes closed for longer.

Foras said kindly,seriously approaching the bed.

There was already a blanket someone put on top of you,but Foras pulled it up some more,covering you snugly to the base of your neck.

Foras: His Majesty Leviathan is away on urgent state affairs. And he assured us to take good care of you.

You were dissapointed not to see Leviathan when you opened your eyes,but you were pleased that he assured them to take good care of you.

Glasyal La Bolas: Keke,Foras. I think it was too much for his Majesty Leviathan instead! You really must have intended on squezzing out all of the seeds inside his Majesty Leviathan.

Said Glasyal La Bolas,pointing to the curtain ribbon which still smelled thickly of Leviathan.

MC: Huh? What do you mean?

Glasyal La Bolas: Did you know that when they hang death-row convicts,they place a bucket under them?

MC: No? Why do they do that?

Glasyal La Bolas: Because men ejaculate a massive amount just before they die whrn they're hung. They ejaculate all the remaining cum inside of their bodies.

Glasyal La Bolas: They're trying to plant a seed somehow just before they die.

Foras: It doesn't have to be strangluation,but creatures have an instinctive reaction to death.

Foras: For example,ejaculating when stiching up a severed arm that's incredibly painful or when your throat is slit.

MC: !

You suddenly realized why strangling Leviathan has backfired.

Hanging already made you instinctevly ejaculate and Leviathan was a devil who even had a fetish for strangulation.

MC: ( I was out of my mind! I didn't think of that before...)

You felt embarrassed realizing in hindsight ypu had encouraged Leviathan.

And at the same time Glasyal La Bolas's words felt like a clue.

MC:....Today,Leviathan was strange. He was immensely....

Barbatos: I know.

MC: Why is Leviathan...

Why did Leviathan look sad? Why did he say unintelligible things? Why did he indulge himself so much? They were questions with many answers,but Barbatos's wistful face prevented you from saying more.

Foras began to speak as though he understood the meaning behind your question.

Foras: Rather than being today,but today a long time ago.

Foras: Is the day he escaped the farm in Heaven.

Foras: That day he only had two choices: to live or to die.

MC: Oh..!

Only then did you understand the unintelligible words Leviathan had been muttering.

MC: (Having to avoid cold,dangerous places to somewhere safe and warm...)

Glasyal La Bolas: He would only have one thought "I have to survive because I ran at the price of everyone else's lives".

Barbatos: On the same day every year,survival instincts are expressed as trauma.

Barbatos: He doesn't like to be around a lot of devils at this time of year. Yes,agoraphobia in human terms.

Too many thoughts filled your mind,and you went blank for a moment.

Foras: This time MC,I think we have something to thank you for. The beautiful palace is intact.

Barbatos: True! The palace that doesn't need repairs is the best! The architect devil will be happy

MC: What do you mean by that?

Foras: Normally...Theres no telling what his Majesty Leviathan will do with his overflowing lust and rage for the angels on this day,and it usually results in the destruction of the palace.

MC: He destroys the palace?

Glasyal La Bolas: The main hall is submerged up to the ankles in cum.

Foras: Sometimes a coffin will appear and he summon an apostle,and we have to risk our lives to stop it.

Foras: The grief,fear,anger and responisbility he feels today would be hard for even God to handle.

Barbatos: You're the first one ever to accept it all.

Barbatos spoke proudly,but he had a subtle look on his face.

MC: (He's like Leviathan when he's jelaous...)

You sat up and thought of the many expressions Leviathan pulled a while ago. Just then...

Splash!

When Glasyal La Bolas stomped his feet with a grin,the liquid on the floor of Leviathan's bedroom that was about a finger's lenght high belatedly caught your eyes.

MC: Why is the floor in the bedroom so splashy?..

Glasyal La Bolas: (dark grin) It's the liquid you and his Majesty squirted.

Glasyal La Bolas said flippantly and Foras glared at him fiercly.

Foras: Anyway,its all thanks to you that this beautiful palace wasn't destroyed.

Foras: I'm glad that the landscape is the same now as it was when you came here today.

Barbatos: It's like a sword that's been cutting through everything it touches because it doesn't have a sheat now has a sheat!

At Barbatos's words,you felt your stomach tightened involuntarily as though you could feel Leviathans presence again,filling your insides.

Drip-!

Some of the liquid that still filled your stomach to the brim dribbled out.

Noticing the subtle change in your expression,Foras stepped closer and laid you back down.

Foras: Sleep some more now. We'll clean this up.

Foras's soft voice and warm touch drew on the languor you had forgotten about.

The moment you nodded and lay back down,Leviathan's thick scent on the sheets enveloped you.

When you opened your eyes again,you were in Gehenna.

And that night you had a good dream.

A dream of walking on the beautiful streets of Hell with younger Leviathan,his flesh smooth and unblemished.

There,Leviathan didn't have cold,cramped or dangerous memories.

As you smiled in your sleep,Leviathan also had the same expression as he slept in Hades.

As the two were dreaming the same dream.

[the20thangel]

The Dragon and The Raven Chapter 10 Dragonseeds

Chapter Summary: As the Dragonseeds continue to try to claim the remaining dragons, Aemma has a reflection and conversations regarding what she wants for her family's future. While Aegon grows in his delusions.

Taglist: @callsignwidow @whimsicalmystic02 @mercedesdecorazon @rhaenyrathecruelwithteats @ithilwen-blackwood

Please let me know if I missed someone?

Word count: 3166

Masterlist

The royal party and the Dragonseeds took a break before trying again to claim the remaining dragons.  As Alyn and Addam went to follow, Addam couldn’t help but send a quick glare to Princess Aemma, feeling that his chance to prove himself to Corlys was now gone.

Aemma was petting Seasmoke as the grey dragon continued to chirp and nuzzle her stomach. She grew content; it was always known that bonding with a dragon often helped their dragon riders' health, so she hoped that with their bonding, Seasmoke would soothe her babe. 

As He watched his wife pet the grey dragon, Benji couldn’t help but wonder how such a fierce creature could be reduced to an overgrown kitten. Of course, he would never fully understand the bond between a dragon and its rider, only feeling grateful that he is allowed to be so close to them. 

As the two stood between the two dragons. In the distance, Jace couldn’t help but observe them. Even though Benjicot was not a dragon rider, he held himself like one and showed great comfort in being close to Sliverwing and Seasmoke. Smiling, Jacaerys took Baela's hand as the two walked away from the scene, following the crowd back to the castle.

Bejicot turned to see the rest of the crowd leaving, wondering if they, too, should go or even if the dragons would let them leave. Not wanting to disturb Aemma, he pressed her closer to him, lightly squeezing her waist. Feeling her husband squeeze her, Aemma smiled as she leaned into him, sighing and slightly turning her face to him. 

“Your family has decided to return to the castle…should we follow them?” muttered Benji quietly into her ear. 

Aemma giggles, feeling his breath tickle her, “I suppose we should. I’m sure Seasmoke will follow us there and roost on the beach… How do you feel that our child will be a dragon rider.” 

Benjicot kissed her crown, breathing in her sweet scent. “I should have suspected this possibility. I mean, my wife is one. Why wouldn’t our child follow their mother’s footsteps?” chuckled Benji. 

Aemma separated from his arms, gracing him with a small smile and kissing him on the corner of his mouth.

Turning to the dragons. “​​sōvētēs,” she calmly commands, hoping that Seasmoke will listen. Thankfully, both dragons rise to the air, flying back to the caves closest to the castles. 

Aemma stares at the dragons, becoming smaller in the distance. She reaches for Benji’s hand and leads them back to the castle. 

As Aemma entered the castle, she was surprised by a hug from Rhaenys, her grandmother holding her close. Aemma smiled and embraced her back. 

“Your father would be so proud that his grandchild be Seasmoke’s rider, my little sea dragon.” Rhaenys stepped back to look at Aemma, looking down at her stomach and placing a hand on her stomach. 

“Thank you, grandmother,” whispered Aemma, feeling emotional. She, too, hoped Leanor would be proud.

“How far along are you, sweet girl?” asked Rhaenyra, joining the conversation. 

“About three moons or so; the healer is saying the babe might be a little small but is definitely a fighter,” explained Aemma as she caressed her belly. 

As Rhaenys and Rhaenyra continued to ask questions, Benji smiled and walked away from them, joining Jacaerys as the prince looked over the dragon seeds. Jace noticed Benjicot and smiled at his good brother. 

“How is Aemma faring with the pregnancy?” asked Jace as he raised an eyebrow at Addam and Alyn of Hull. 

 The two brothers were looking at him, but once both men saw the prince looking, they quickly averted their eyes oppositely. Benjicot also stared at the two; he had seen Addam glaring at his wife at Dragonmount, and it seemed the young man was jealous of his wife and child. He would need to keep an eye on him. 

Benji sighed, returning his attention to Jace, “She was nervous initially, but lately, she has been allowing herself to bond with them.” 

Jace nodded, turning his eyes from the men to his sister. He saw her grinning and talking excitedly with their mother and grandmother. 

“That’s good… I worried she wouldn’t want to get attached because of our mother…” 

Benji looked at his good-brother in confusion. Why would Rhaenyra make Aemma nervous about carrying a child? The queen looked overjoyed at the news. Jace noticed Benji’s confusion and sighed, signaling him to follow away from prying ears. 

“Aemma wasn’t the only daughter of my mother. Before King Viserys passed, my mother was pregnant with a girl, Visenya,” explained Jace, looking at Benjicot. 

“When my mother was brought the news that my grandsire passed and Aegon was crowned, usurping my mother from the throne, the pain and betrayal caused my mother to go into early labor. She spent hours trying to push Visenya out of her body, but the little one wouldn’t budge. Aemma hasn’t told me much about what she saw in the room, but from what I saw, it was bloody and painful for my mother. In the end, Visenya was stillborn, causing another heartbreak. Aemma became traumatized; she expressed how the women in our family must be cursed to suffer such painful labors and losses of children. Like Queen Aemma and my mother, she worried about her turn in the labor bed, wondering if she would have the same fate.” finished Jace, turning to Benji. 

Benji closed his eyes. Yes, war and battles were bloody, but women also had their battles, often fighting alone and in silence because that was expected of them. He couldn’t imagine what his Aemma and the queen went through that day. 

“That’s why I ask; I fear Aemma might be putting on a brave face, trying to seem calm in her internal storm,” Jace wondered.

“I’ll be there for her to make sure her fears don’t materialize,” promised Benjicot, looking at his wife and Jacaerys. 

Jace nodded with a smile before turning back to the people in the room. 

“We will rest for another hour, then return to Dragonmount and try again with the remaining dragons,” announced Jacaerys, walking out of the room and wanting to spend time with Baela. 

Benjicot returned to his wife, bowing at Princess Rhaenys and the queen. Both women smiled at the young man before retiring to rest for the time being. Aemma walked to Benji’s arms, resting her head on his chest. 

“How are you feeling, my love,” pondered Benji, rubbing circles on her back. 

Aemma closed her eyes as she confessed, “Truthfully, tired, I wish to lay and sleep for a month… but I need to go back-” 

“I’m sure they will understand your situation while staying here at Dragonstone. Don’t push yourself over.” soothed Benjicot, not wanting her to exert herself overly.

“I need to be there, so it doesn’t seem that what happened with Seasmoke was a personal game… I see how those Hull boys look at me,” Aemma said, turning to the Hull brothers.  

“Who gives a damn what they think? If they are going to be uptight over these things, then they are not fit to fight for your mother.” Benji countered. 

“Hmmm. Maybe, but it's my duty, Ben, to be there as a figurehead of the crown; I am the crown princess, and people will look at and judge my actions and those of my mother. It is the same with you and Aly; you also have duties as lord of House Blackwood, and others will judge,” stated Aemma, looking into her husband's eyes and trying to make him understand. 

Benjicot sighed, knowing that as Crown Princess, she needed to be there, but as his wife, she needed to rest. Benjicot knew it would get more challenging for her to let go once the war continued. But Aemma needed to see that she needed to keep herself and their child safe. Benji thought he might need to speak with the queen to convince Aemma to step back and possibly move to Raventree Hall until after her pregnancy. 

Benji nodded to his wife, kissing her hand as he stepped back from her. Aemma knew he technically was right; she needed to relax more. She would be a mother and needed to learn how to balance political duties and being a mother to her children. As the two stayed in comfortable silence, Aemma’s stomach growled, causing the princess to flush with embarrassment as Benjicot laughed. Aemma playful pushed him away, lightly commanding him to find some lemon cakes. Benji laughed while bowing dramatically at his princess, heading for the kitchens, hoping that some servants were willing to make some lemon cakes or give him prepared ones before dinner. As Aemma shook her head at her husband’s antics, she noticed Addam Hull alone. Aemma took a breath; she supposed she needed to clear the air. 

Walking to him, Addam quickly raised himself to give a bow, but the princess waved him off. As they both sat, Addam couldn’t help but feel awkward around the princess. Technically, he was her uncle, but they were so close in age that he could not find that sense of elder familial bond. Aemma turned to see Addam Hull, seeing many similarities between him and her grandsire. She waited momentarily before finally finding the words she was looking for. 

“I’m sorry that you were not given a proper chance to meet Seasmoke.” apologized Aemma, seeing Addam gape at her in shock. 

He was not expecting the princess to apologize, especially for something he knew was, in actuality, she had no control over. Addam gulped as he shockingly nodded his head. 

“I cannot hold it against you, princess. It is like they say we choose our dragons as much as they choose us. Seasmoke did not wish to create the bond with me,” concluded Addam, realizing that he had no right to be upset at Seasmoke’s rejection. It was not the princess' fault the events turned out the way they did.

Aemma hmmed in agreement: “Still, with my outburst earlier, it did seem rather spoiled of me. But we do not need to be so formal or hostile to each other; we are family.” 

This shocked Addam more; he did not think the princess and her family would welcome him to house Velayron, tolerate him, yes, but welcoming never.  

“It's alright, princess. I am just Corlys’ bastard. You do not need to be so… nice to me or my brother,” Addam awkwardly explained. 

Aemma shook her head, “I could care less if you are trueborn or not. You hold Valyrian blood in you; you might claim a dragon. You will help us… our family from destruction.” 

“Do you… do you honestly not care that I am a bastard?” Addam pondered, shocked at how welcoming Corlys's family was to him.

Aemma chuckled as she explained, “We are so few left; having lost my father, brother, and aunt, I will cling to any Velayron family member left. You and I are the future of house Velayron. Our house will need an heir since… since the kingslayer killed our last one. All I ask is that you stay true to our family.” 

Addam smiled; what he wanted for himself and his brother was to feel at home, not like outsiders or thieves. He just wanted a sense of belonging, and Aemma was giving him that with only the expectation of loyalty in return. 

“I swear on my brother that we will stay true and faithful to House Velayron and Queen Rhaenyra.” pledged Addam. 

Aemma smiled at the young man, feeling that he was speaking true; seeing Benji coming back, she stood, wishing Addam best wishes as she left to enjoy the delicious lemon cakes. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The party was once again in Dragonmount, watching numerous people trying to claim a dragon. A man named Hugh Hammer tried to mount Vermithor, only for the Bronze Fury to shake him off.  The man did not give up easily; determined to claim the dragon, he tried again. Aemma yawned, leaning more on Benji as she internally groaned, wishing she had listened to her husband in staying behind to rest. She couldn’t … Dragonstone held too many memories of Luke and Visenya that left her feeling suffocating. 

Dragonstone used to be her solace, her peace, where she was free to roam and laugh, but now it held sadness and tragedy. Leanor, Lucerys, and Visenya haunted her in Dragonstone. She felt anxious, and she knew she did not want to spend the rest of her pregnancy there, but she didn’t want to disappoint her mother. Her mother seemed happy about a new life possibly being born in Dragonstone, but Aemma didn’t like that. Aemma needed to speak with Benjicot and Jacaerys to get advice on telling her mother she wanted to spend the rest of her pregnancy somewhere else, but where… She talked to Aly about returning to Raventree Hall, but Alysanne pointed out that Benji might not want her to stay alone in the castle. Truthfully, Aemma didn’t mind, but Alysanne made the point that House Braken could attack at any time in the name of Aegon, and she didn’t want to cause any stress. 

As Aemma continued her internal debate, she noticed Addam looking at Grey Ghost, another wild dragon. Aemma grinned. Grey Ghost would be a perfect fit for him. The dragon was a bit shy, but Aemma knew what the dragon needed: a rider who could help it blossom and give confidence. As Vermithor again threw Hammer to the ground, people gasped and turned. Addam successfully mounted Grey Ghost and was easing the dragon to start galloping towards the cliff, hoping to create a start to the flying. As the shy dragon ran off, people held their breath, not releasing it until they saw the dragon soar upwards, Addam cheering in delight, feeling the air rush past his face.  Aemma smiled, looking at her grandsire, who also seemed proud to see another son taking reign of the sky, just like Leanor and Leana. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As the day ended, more surprises came from Dragonmount. Hugh Hammer reluctantly gave up after nearly getting his head bit off during his last try. As the Bronze Fury began his return to his cave, the giant dragon stopped in his tracks, staring at the group of people, pivoting. Vermithor walked straight to Princess Rhaenys and bowed his head, seemingly allowing the Queen, who never was, to mount her grandsire’s dragon. After a push from Rhaenyra, Rhaenys mounted the male dragon, focusing on creating a bond and apologizing to Meleys for replacing her so soon. Vermithor rose proudly as he flew off with the Princess, showcasing who he wanted to be his next dragon rider. That meant there was technically one unclaimed dragon left that being Sheepstealer, as The Cannibal was too dangerous. 

Aemma thought that all in all, it was a successful selection. Those who claimed dragons could prove or already be loyal to her mother. She was hopeful of the future, optimistic that the gods were finally showing favor to them and their cause instead of the greens. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 Meanwhile, in Kings Landing, Aegon was lying on his bed. He had lost a leg to Aemma, his Aemma. She had commanded her dragon to attack him, and in turn, he had lost a leg. Why? Why would she do such a thing? Did she not see that he loved her? He sent a beautiful gift, a locket in the shape of the letter A, for the meaning of their names. So why would she be so cruel to him? Was it that Barbarian? Her so-called Husband, Benjicot Blackwood. 

It had to be him. He was poisoning her mind because, sweet, Aemma would never go so quickly to harm someone. She didn’t even try to harm Aemond, and Aemond was the one who killed Lucerys.  He needed to try and reach out to her again; he needed to know what caused her to commit such an act. His pondering was cut short once Aemond walked in. 

“Good morrow, brother… I bring news from the spies…” stated Aemond as he watched Aegon look at him. Pathetic, thought Aemond,  Aegon looked pathetic. Aemma should have bitten off his head to relieve his misery. 

“What news?” asked Aegon as he wished he had a glass of wine in his hand right now. 

“ It seems the Blacks have managed to have a few people on their…side to claim riderless dragons…” declared Aemond, staring at Aegon's confused face. 

“Which ones and to who?” 

“ The one they call Grey Ghost was claimed by a Velayron bastard, which holds no concern to us. While Vermithor was claimed Princess Rhaenys, this is the concerning one, an experienced rider and dragon with the size to take on my Vhagar; it’s causing some of our allies to be concerned. Nevertheless, I shall stand victorious against them.” Aemond, walking to the side of the bed, Aegon following his brother’s movement. 

“And the third dragon?” asked Aegon. 

“Ser Leanor’s previous dragon, Seasmoke, was claimed by Aemma…” 

“Now you are jesting, brother; never has a rider claimed a second dragon in history,” laughed Aegon. 

Aemond huffed, hating being interrupted; he waited until his stupid brother ceased his annoying laugh, “If you let me finish my sentence, you would have known that we don’t believe it was Aemma, but rather her babe.” Watching in delight as Aegon’s face went from confusion to rage. 

“He infected her with his spawn!” roared Aegon, sitting up angrily. 

“Infected? You mean she is pregnant with her husband’s child,” explained Aemond cooly to his brother. 

“No! How could this have happened? How could Aemma allow herself to carry a Blackwood spawn.” continued Aegon, staring at his shaking hands. 

Aemond only raised an eyebrow; it seemed his brother was still obsessed with the Velayron princess. 

“I would imagine, like her mother, she gladly spread her leg-” 

“You will speak about her with the most utter respect! You may be Prince Regent, but I am still the king; I can have you charged with treason,” raged Aegon. 

Aemond fumed; how could his brother defend a girl who did not love him so fiercely but ignore Heleana and her grief? Heleana was Aegon’s wife, not Aemma, and yet he continued to disrespect her for the Velayron, or now Blackwood girl, who would gladly try and murder him. His brother was truly stupid. 

Aemond, not wanting to be in his brother’s presence, deciding to leave him in his self-pity as he left to run a kingdom. 

“Aemond…” spoke Aegon. 

Ameond wanted to groan as he turned to his brother. 

“When the time comes, If I still cannot fight, I want you to strike down Benjicot…” commanded Aegon. 

Aemond bowed, “As my king commands, when the time comes, I will bring his head to you.” Rising from his bow, Aemond walked out. 

Aegon laid himself back on his pillows;  he will have Benjioct Blackwood’s head.

[etherfabric]

Messages for Reassurance + Songs

Choose a pile by which picture you resonate with the most.

If your mind is too busy to clearly decide, take a few deep breaths, and use the finger of your non-dominant hand to hover over the images. One will give off the most subtle yet prominent signals, like tingles, a magnetic pull, or temperature. This is your pile. Multiples are also possible.

You are the ultimate authority over your life. I merely provide my perspective. Sometimes the Universe lines you up with something that doesn't resonate with your truth, so you have contrast to find out what does. Never give away your power.

Pile 1

Knight of Cups, High Priestess

The hope inside of you is not delusion. You are safe to go after the things that seem promising and enriching. The days where you couldn't hear your gut well enough to listen to it are gone. Serendipities of various sizes permeate your day to day life, and it feels almost to good to be true. Did you really make it? Yes, dear. You did. You embraced your shadows enough to bask in the sun again.

Of course this is no utopia, and the frights of the past have sharpened your foresight to real possibilities, but believe yourself when you can't feel any danger closeby. You are stronger, smarter, and in better company than ever before. Now all there is left to do is putting some weight in those timid steps towards your bliss. Don't worry about tripping - you'll land on your foundation and get up again, eyes forward, one foot in front of the other. You will get there as soon as you fully arrive internally, and you are so close to completion already. You will see it once you believe it.

Pile 2

6 of Wands, The Hanged Man

You are exactly where you are supposed to be, in the exact context and circumstances you see at this very moment, inside and out. The conditions are perfect for you thrive in. You might have to get a little unorthodox in your approaches, and the shape of other people's successes sometimes clouds your inspiration, but let good be good enough for now. Think of past you - they prayed to have what you have now.

Okay, yes, they were a little misguided in a few details of their wishes (thankfully rejection is divine protection), and in thinking once you would be here, everything would be perfect - life is still life, you are still human - but the lessons that led you here widened your understanding of how everything had to happen this way. Guess what, future you will look back at this very moment with the exact same wisdom and compassion.

You can work with what you have at your disposal and rightfully expect the glory of tangible progress. Just keep doing what you are doing already, keep it simple and managable, and there will be nothing significant standing in your way. Those bouts of stagnation? That's where the depth of your skills comes from in the first place. Just like muscles, the soul and mind need their periods of liminal passivity to come back with full force to charge you ahead. You are on the right track. You are doing great. You can be proud of yourself.

Pile 3

Page of Swords, 10 of Wands

Oh dear. It's okay to say you are tired. It's okay to break apart. It's okay to hurt and just want to quit it all. Why are you carrying all this by yourself, tasks and thoughts alike? Don't you know the relief once you put them both down? For the thoughts: Speak, write, scream. To somebody, or nobody. The most important part is admitting it. Then at least you are freed of the burden to act like everything is fine. I know you are scared, I know you wouldn't be in this situation in the first place if you knew for sure you could let go. But I trust in the magic of coincidences, and you reading this right now tells me you need to stop swimming against the current and let the flow carry you downstream.

Stop clinging to things that only stay if you wreck yourself. The tide will wash them out of your hands anyway, because soon you will reach your body's limits, and then the decision will be made for you. Let the dam break. Let nature take its course. You are so smart and truly believed the best, I can see that, and it's no lack of character that caused things to go this way. But this wasn't meant for you. I know it hurts. I hurt with you. But once you stop fighting gravity, you will be drawn to what is truly for you. Put the burden down. I know you had the best intentions, but it's over. You can rest now.

Pile 4

9 of Cups, Knight of Pentacles

You already know this, but slow and steady does indeed win the race. Instead of doing a million things exhausting yourself, you are focusing on a handful of daily tasks, knowing they will lead you exactly where you want to be. Time and consistency are on your side. You know you don't have to be perfect and can always pick up where you left off. Appreciation from outside sources resonates with your own satisfaction about how things are playing out for you.

Your longterm goals seem closer than ever. You have your routine down pat, and trust in your ability of finding even better tweaks and spins for it in the future. This calm air of confidence looks so good on you! You have earned it. You can read the signs relative to your success, know which road to take, and which pitfalls to avoid. You feel incredibly rich and know how to pass the time until certain things come to fruition. It used to make you anxious when you were faced with slowpaced processes, and you fell back on less sustainable approaches to selfsoothe. Now you appreciate the journey itself, even welcome the delays, so you have ample time to smell the flowers on the side of the road.

[virgo-79]

I'm curious about something.

My take on Buttons is and has always been that he's crazier than a shithouse mouse (but still a very competent sailor). I haven't thought ANY of his conversations with his seagulls were meant to be actually taking place. He is leaning fully into his own mystical fabrications and that is beautiful and to be encouraged. And then along comes Auntie, who's like that hyper-organized coworker who runs a tight ship but is also fully an astrology bitch who will take your zodiac sign into consideration during your performance review. And she's not the "essential oils are better than medicine" kind of granola babe, but she swears she can tell the color of people's auras. Both of these people are have not only embraced their delusions but are kissing them with tongue, and they could smell the patchouli stank on each other and were like "yes. Absolutely. That's my shit." And I think that's fabulous.

But in reading other people's takes, it turns out there are a lot of people who think Buttons truly is some kind of magic-user, and I'm all about that. I'm just curious who on here thinks Buttons can really do magic/talk to birds/shape-shift, and who thinks he has absolutely done mushrooms one time too many and now believes he's Deep Sea Dr. Dolittle?

[bubblegump-1-nk]

Shall I Write It in a Letter

pairing: Gryffindor!Reader x Theodore Nott

summary: In which Theo wakes up one morning and realizes he can no longer not have you, so he writes you a letter. But when that letter gets lost, things become complicated. - inspired by Anne with an E; song: Bloom by The Paper Kites.

Warnings: angst that could be fixed by simple communication 😒, hints of cheating

P.S: I super duper highly recommend to listen to the songs either before, during, or after you read my fics . Not only do they encapsulate what the fic is about, but they’re also just super good songs!! <33d

~~~

Christmas break had been in session for about a week and a half, and Theo was spending his time off at home. Although he was sad to be away from his friends, he was happy for the much needed alone time.

The sun was shining brightly through the dark velvet curtains in his room, and he slowly woke up from his dreams. As his eyes fluttered open, he felt a pang of pain in his heart. His dream had been of you, specifically of kissing your soft lips on a warm summers day by the Black Lake. He’s found that more recently than ever, his head is full of you, as is his heart. As he’s laying in his bed, he closes his eyes once more, trying to hold onto the bits of you he won’t ever experience. In this moment, thoughts of you more prevalent than ever before, he realizes he doesn’t have to not have you. Quickly, becoming fully awake, he springs out of his bed and walks quickly to his desk.

He pushes all the papers and miscellaneous items off the surface, and pulls out a paper and quill. He’s become fully aware of just how much he longs for you, and why should he not be able to tell his best friend that he’s in love with her? He’s been yearning for your love for as long as he can remember, and it has finally transformed him into a fool, giving him the confidence to express his love for you.

My dearest y/n,

I’ve found that you’ve been circling my thoughts more than usual lately, so much so that I can hardly call them my own anymore. I think about you all the time, yet I’ve been too much of a coward to say anything. But I’ve realized that I don’t want to wake up one day, either in the near future or in the years to come, and regret not trying, because of pride, or embarrassment, or just simple fear. I need to escape this torture chamber I’ve made for myself, where I must hold you at arms length though I know I wish for nothing more than to be wrapped in your embrace at all hours of the day. So I need you to tell me if it’s all in my head. That the lingering touches and longing stares are just simple delusions I’ve created in my mind. But if they’re not, and Merlin how I hope they’re not, I’m telling you here and now that I am in love with you y/n l/n, and I don’t think I can bear to be apart from you any longer. I also want to go ahead and apologize for telling others I loved you, that they knew before you did, but to be fair I think everyone knew before I did, too. You are my breath of fresh air, the light in all my darkness, my proof that life is pure and good and that happiness is achievable. I may not be a religious person, but if worshipping you was a religion I’d be its most devoted follower. And if my feelings are not reciprocated, please find a way to put this past you because I could not endure losing you as my best friend as well.

Yours Forever, Theo.

After pouring his heart out onto the page, he carefully placed it into an envelope, wrote your name on it, and walked to give it to owl. After sending it away, he walked back to his room, his anxiety suddenly crashing through. Thoughts swarmed his head: She doesn’t love me, I’ve ruined everything, I should stop it from reaching her. But his heart quickly stopped his brain from doing too much damage. You needed to know or else Theo would live in agony for the rest of his life. Upon reaching his room, he sat back at his desk and sent letters to each of the Slytherin boys, confessing what he’s done. He even slipped a copy of the letter to Mattheo, the only one he felt he could truly trust with that piece of his heart.

~~~

It had been two days since the letter had been sent. Had his owl reached you by now? Had you seen it? What were you thinking?

He was an utter mess, his mind swarming with questions and his body teeming with anxieties.

Soon it was 4 days, then 6, then a week, and then the last day of break rolled around the corner. Still he had received no response from you, perhaps you wished to talk in person? His heart hoped that that was the answer, and that the lack of a letter was not your rejection

~~~

You got onto the train just as it was about to take off, thanks to your missing jumper. The train was packed with kids saying their hellos and catching up, and with much effort you finally found Harry, Hermione, and Ron and got inside the compartment.

“Is it just me or is it crazier than usual?” You ask as you sit down.

“Definitely crazier, apparently Lavendar and Parvati got into a huge fight over break so everyone’s running around to hear about it.” Hermione explains as she hands you some candy she bought for you.

You say your thanks and continue talking with your friends when there’s a knock on your compartment.

“Hi Dean!” You say as you get up to slide open the door. You step out quickly to talk with the tall Gryffindor boy.

You have a friendly conversation, lasting about 10 minutes before entering the compartment again.

“What was that about.” Ron asks, before anyone else has the chance to.

“I saw him at Diagon Alley over the break and he asked me out. We hung out a couple times over the break.” You explain.

“Never would have expected that one.” Says Harry.

You raise you eyebrow at him, “and why would that be?”

“Just always assumed it would be Nott.” Harry says.

“I can’t just sit around like a fool waiting for him. He’s shown he just sees me as his best friend and the quicker I get over him the better.” You explain.

“But, he hasn’t shown you that he feels that way.” Explains Hermione, who is team Theo and y/n.

“He hasn’t shown me any differently. Wake me up when we get there I’m taking a nap.” You say, tired of constantly being reminded of your inability to be with Theo.

~~~

You arrive at the castle, and you make your way through the crowds to find your Slytherin friends. Just as you spot their group, Dean Thomas stops you.

“Hey, I’ve saved you a seat next to me, ok?” He asks, while his hands snaked around your waist.

“Thanks, I’ll be right there.” You say to him, giving him a small smile before turning your attention back to the group

-

“Merlin.” Theo says, causing the group to turn their heads. He had seen you walking around the crowd, and had turned away quickly when you had finally spotted them. He hadn’t seen you on the train and obviously hadn’t received your letter, so a part of him still hoped that you just wanted to talk to him in person. His anxiety began to take over him when he saw you walking towards him - would you tell him to fuck off? That he’s some sort of creep best friend? Or would you tell him that your heart beat for him? - that’s when he saw it. Dean Thomas gripping your waist and you sending him that sweet, tooth rotting smile his way.

“Oh shit.” Said Mattheo, who had been the first to spot the pair.

“Fuck that’s messed up.” Said Draco.

“I’m sorry mate.” Enzo said, patting Theo’s shoulder.

“How’d that even happen?” Asked Blaise, confused because he had never really seen you interact with Dean.

Mattheo sent him a look, warning him to drop it.

“Let’s just get out of here.” Mattheo said, gently grabbing Theo’s arm, pulling him away towards the dining room.

Theo could still feel his heart breaking, each shard falling to the pits of his stomach and stabbing him. He got his answer at least, not only did you not love him, you clearly didn’t care enough about him to even write back to him. And now, his God-sent Angel, was flaunting around with another man. How could the sweet girl he grew up with, the one that showed him that even salt could be beautiful, break his heart and crumble its pieces in your fist?

-

You were confused when you suddenly saw the group leave, making their way into the dining hall. You tried to get to them, but the crowds of people pushed you back until finally, you realized it was fruitless when the crowd began pushing you back towards the Gryffindor side of the Great Hall. You decided to just sit down, and that you would try to find the group, Theo specifically because you missed him deeply, after dinner.

Dinner passed quickly after the tedious sorting ceremony. You talked with your friends and caught up with those around you, sneaking glances towards the Slytherin table as often as possible. Finally, Dumbledore dismissed the students and you all made your way towards your common rooms. Since it was the first day back, teachers were making sure students went directly to their rooms, leaving you no time to find the Slytherins. You decided it would be best for you to just wait until tomorrow, though you thought you might implode if you spent one more second away from Theo. A thought that made you feel instantly guilty when Dean appeared at your side.

~~

The next day rolled around, and still you hadn’t been able to get ahold of the Slytherins. If you hadn’t known any better, you would have assumed they had been avoiding you. Finally, right before lunch you entered the library to grab some books when you saw the boys congregated in the back. You made your way over to them, carefully stepping around the stacks of books Madame Pince was reorganizing.

Once you finally reached the group, you went to announce your presence before Theo looked away from Draco (who was telling some boring anecdote) and looked down at you. Before you had any time to give him a smile or say your hello’s, he detached himself from the group and stormed right past you, through the stacks of books, and out the door. You stood shocked, facing the doors before finally turning back around to face the group. Your face was painted with an expression of confusion, which only deepened you received a nasty look from Enzo.

“We’ll be on our way now.” Said Enzo, walking past you with Blaise following close behind.

What..?” You finally managed to get out in your state of shock.

“Listen, y/n, just do us all a favor and leave us alone, especially Theo.” Mattheo said, in quite a rude tone before walking passed you. You stood confused and shocked at the interaction that had just unfolded. What had you done? Why were the boys mad at you? What had you done to Theo?

~~~

“I just have no idea what it could possibly be.” You said to Hermione, as you paced around your dorm room, recounting the story from earlier.

“Maybe it’s Dean. Maybe he’s just jealous.” Hermione offered.

“No, but I’ve had flings with guys before, and it’s not like he hasn’t been with girls before. It’s some thing deeper than that I know it.” You state, picking at your fingernails.

“And your sure you haven’t done anything? I mean you can’t think of one thing that could possibly have led to this?” Hermione asks, just as confused about the situation as you.

“Yes, I mean I literally cannot think of one thing that could have led to this. I would never hurt Theo, ever.” You say, plopping down on you bed, exasperated by the days events.

“I’m sorry y/n but I have absolutely no idea why they’re acting like this.” Hermione said, sad she couldn’t be of more help.

“It’s fine Hermione, it’s not your fault. I’m just going to go to bed.” You say, wanting this nightmare to end.

Could you really be losing your best friend to a reason unknown to you? Not only can you not be with the man that you love because he doesn’t reciprocate your feelings, but now you may have just lost him completely. You fall asleep after hours of rolling back and forth contemplating your complicated relationship with Theo, and even in your unconscious state you cannot escape him because he peeps into your dreams.

~~~

The following week is agony. Your best friend won’t talk to you, let alone allow himself to be in the same room as you, the boys you’ve known since childhood give you nasty looks every chance they get, you have to entertain a relationship with Dean your not even sure you want to get into and your teachers are stuffing you with assignments. All you need is a good party with lots and lots of alcohol. Once Friday afternoon finally rolls around, you can feel a slight weight lift from your shoulders.

~~~

You walked into the Slytherin common room with Dean. Pansy, Daphne and some other Slytherin girls hosted the first party since break and seeing as you’ve been close with them since 1st year, you were clearly invited. You decided you were going to look your absolute best for this party: you’re makeup was flawless, your hair done to perfection, and the corset and low-waisted mini skirt you were wearing was doing your figure perfect justice.

“Fuck me.” Said Theo as he saw you walk in with Dean. “I’m going for a smoke outside.” He says.

“Need company?” Mattheo asks, not wanting to leave his vulnerable friend alone.

“Nah mate, thanks though.” He says, before walking outside quickly, before he can see anymore of you.

It had only been a few minutes, and you had already downed about 3 drinks. Once the alcohol started to hit, you detached yourself from Dean’s grip making up some excuse, before finding your way towards the Slytherin boys.

You spotted Mattheo sitting on the arm rest of a couch, sipping out of a plastic cup. You walked up to him, hips still swaying to the music.

“Where’s Theo?” You stated, once you reached him, your confidence booming.

“What do you want?” Mattheo asks, looking up at you with contempt.

“I need to find Theodore Nott. Where is he?” You state.

“You have some serious nerve.”

“What?” You ask, taken aback.

“Listen, y/n, you’re once of my closest friends, but Theo’s my best mate. And what you did, that shit’s just fucked up. Like seriously, I didn’t even know you were capable of that.” He says, disgust leaking out of his words.

“I’m sorry?” You say, confused by his words.

“Merlin y/n, I mean how dull can you be? You just expect everything to be all right after you not only completely ignore his letter where he fucking tells you he fucking loved you, but you turn up with some Levski (famous quidditch chaser) wannabe? I mean that’s some next level shit.” Mattheo says, getting up as he presents his rage induced speech.

“What letter?” You say, unaware of what he’s talking about.

Mattheo just stares at you, stuttering to get some words out.

“I said: what letter, Mattheo?” You say, much more sternly.

“Wait, so you’re telling me you never received it?” Mattheo asks, in shock.

“I don’t even know what I didn’t receive.” You say, exasperated.

“Just, wait right here, I’ll be right back!” Mattheo says, before running up the stairs towards the dorms.

You stand there in shock, your adrenaline pumping. Had you heard him right? Theo had sent you a letter confessing his love to you? How had you missed it?

“Here! Here! I have it!” Mattheo yelled, running towards you, waving a piece of parchment around in his hand.

“This. One.” Mattheo says, between breaths as he reaches you, handing you the parchment.

You rip it from his hands, reading it quickly yet thoroughly. Tears brim at your eyes, did he really feel this way? Merlin you felt so stupid, how could this have gotten lost?

“I-I…” you stuttered, unaware of what to say.

“Outside. He’s outside. Go!” Mattheo said, stilling catching his break.

“I- ok, thank you!” You say, before quickly running out the door, finding your way outside.

You see Theo sitting outside, smoking a cigarette. His face is illuminated by the moonlight and you swear in that moment that you’ve never seen anything more beautiful.

“Theo! Theodore!” You yell to him, as you run towards his figure. The grass was still wet from the rain that had fallen earlier that day, and the blades of grass began to stick to your calfs.

Theo looks at you, before getting up and attempting to escape you.

“Theo, wait, please! Mattheo just showed me the letter! I never got it!”

He stopped in his tracks, and slowly turned around.

“What?”

You finally catch up to him, breathing heavily.

“I never got your letter, I didn’t know about it until just now.” You explain, showing him the letter Mattheo had given you.

“What?” He said again, bewildered by what was going on.

“I wasn’t ignoring you, or your feelings. I just never got to read about them until tonight.”

“So, you’re telling me you never received it, at all?”

“No. I never got a letter.” You explain, your eyes searching his for some hint of how he was feeling.

“Did you read it?” Theo asked slowly.

“Yes, just now I did.”

“And…” Theo asked, hope returning to him and hitting him like a truck. He was filled with anxieties and he felts his stomach doing flips waiting for you to answer.

“Of course I’m in love with you, I thought I made it so obvious!”

“I thought I made it obvious!” Theo said with a laugh, all negative feelings and thoughts leaving his body and head at your confession.

“My heart quite literally beats for you, Teddy. I’ve never been so scared then when I thought I was losing you.”

“Really?” He asks. His eyes are lit up and he can barely contain his smile

“Yes you idiot!” You say, smiling wildly

“What about Dean?” He asks, afraid.

“Fuck Dean! It’s only ever been you, Teddy. It’ll always be you.” You say, staring up at him with nothing but love and devotion.

“Does this mean that you’ll have me?” He asks, grabbing your hands.

You nod vigorously, unable to get any words out as tears of happiness are threatening to spill if you utter a single word.

And with that, Theo dips down and kisses you. The kiss is deep and passionate. You two explore each others mouths, and your hands explore each others body. You taste every bit of each other, and feel each others hair, faces, arms, waists, chests, in ways that you’ve never felt before. You take this chance to make up for all the lost time you’ve spent pining for each other in secret. The kiss is hungry, yet gentle and Theo holds you close, as if if he doesn’t hold you as tightly as possible you’ll slip away from him. After a few minutes he pulls away, touching your forehead to his and holding your face in his hands.

“I’m so so sorry for believing the worst in you. I was just in so much pain. Ignoring you was the hardest thing I’ve ever done” He states, referring to the week prior.

“It’s ok, Teddy. Let’s not worry about that now.” You say, causing his lips to come crashing down on yours again.

[yellowocaballero]

So fucking glad to see someone talk about SSS Class revival hunter 😭 I lived it so much and I feel like no one ever mentions it against more popular titles like ORV or even The Lout of the counts family, so I'm so glad to come here and see your amazing takes :>

Thank you for the ask which lets me talk about SSSCRH (the version I read was titled 'Suicide Hunter', which tbh I like more - no beating around the bush).

It's hard to draw an accurate comparison since I'm going off just the webtoon for SSSCRH, while I'm going off both the webtoon and the webnovel for ORV. And I love ORV, ORV is my media blorbo right now, it hydraulic presses my brain, I am writing ORV fanfic - it's, like, funner to enjoy. But SSSRH is just better. In the vast majority of ways it is is better. It's better than the holy trinity by a wide margin. TW talk of suicide obviously.

I can't believe I'm saying this but you need a basic understanding of Buddhism in order to understand SSSCRH. It's not about Gongja's suicides - he doesn't suicide from depression or lack of self-esteem. SSSCRH is about suffering in the Buddhist sense - dukkha. I don't want to make this an essay, so I might reblog this with more information, but extremely shortly:

The Four Noble Truths of Buddhism is the truth of suffering, the truth of the cause of suffering, the truth of the end of suffering, and the truth of the path that leads to the end of suffering. You've heard that Buddhists say 'life is suffering'. To put it one way that doesn't require defining a lot of words: the cause of suffering is experiencing the world as we percieve it instead of how it truly is. Suffering isn't just being miserable and in pain, and life isn't suffering because life sucks and global warming exists and people voted for Trump. Life is suffering because we can experience beautiful and joyful moments in this world, but we do not exist in the moment of that happiness or place our ego/'self' between us and that happiness. Living in that moment, accepting the moment as it is unconditionally, is freedom from suffering. The Buddha tries to free people from suffering through teaching Buddhism.

"What does this have to do with the webnovel and manwha about a guy murdering himself thousands of times" it has everything to do with it. Because SSSCRH is about suffering, and it is about using suffering as a tool in order to experience a world unfiltered by ego and break down the artificial boundaries between human beings. Suffering in SSSCRH is not a bad thing. Gongja has the unique capability to (reincarnate.) experience a person's suffering in unity with them, which dissolves the delusion of separation between people and puts us in touch with the reality of oneness.

The Murim arc was fucking insane because Gongja pulls a Big Bodhisattva Move and walks through the suffering of the world in order to achieve full understanding of the human experience. He takes all of the suffering of the world into himself and is liberated. You can tell it's Buddhist because death was not presented as a bad thing - death was an aspect of a happy ending for the Heavenly Demon lady, because she was finishing her life according to her own joy, and because her teachings were passed on she did not truly die.

But the purpose of embracing suffering is to discover the ability to fully embrace life, and that's where Heavenly Demon's teachings were incomplete - as the ghost dude said, Gongja hasn't even experienced his own full life and the infinite capability for his own happiness. You can only feel the depths of sadness when you've felt the depths of happiness. Sadness deserves its place in the world and it can strengthen you, but so does happiness.

Gongja is attention-seeking, envious, and unbelievably petty. When he drills down into his own desires and why he wants the things he wants, you see that he has a very strong sense of justice and right and wrong - he realizes he doesn't want to be famous, he wants to be acknowledged, but on an even deeper level he is desperate for love and to be loved. Everything he does is to experience love, and as such he learns to love others. His love for the Flamey Asshole was purely parasocial and ego-filled, with no concern for who he was as a human. Throughout the manwha, he grows to care for people as they truly are and pierce through any delusions or misleading outward appearances. He has released all attachment to life and death, and as such does not fear death, and as such has taken a step on the road towards becoming a Boddhisatva who frees others from the cycle of samsara, and as a result has learned sick sword techniques and is sooo good at beating people up.

I think the only other thing I want to mention here because otherwise this is an essay: in almost every time loop/regression story, only the final regression matters. In stories with dungeon monsters and NPCs, only the humans matter. The regressor exists in a space where there are no consequences for their actions, so they act terribly and do whatever because none of it matters. In Groundhog Day Bill Murray acts like an asshole because he can. That's not the case here. Everything Gongja does matters. The NPCs are fake, but Gongja never treats them as anything less than real people who deserve life. Once he understands a person's life he never treats them as unimportant. No loop is thrown away and no person or life is disregarded. His choices matter, the way he treats others matters, and Gongja never treats anybody as if they don't matter except for himself.

That was not short. There is a lot more. The female characters are so good and so rich. From a craft perspective it is excellently paced and has a wonderful sense of set-up/payoff and balances tone and maintains a lot of momentum, which is really hard in a time loop story. You have to do a few very specific things to write OP characters well and SSSCRH does it very well. There's more to say from a craft perspective and it's hard to judge accurately from a webtoon but it's good. I was so strangely struck the entire time about how sincere and genuine it was, how it said what it said with no trace of irony of confusion, and I think that's what stuck with me the most.

TL;DR: SSS Class Revival Hunter is good for a lot of very normal reasons, such as excellent pacing and set-up/pay off and characters, but it's also so sincerely and genuinely Buddhist that it blew my tits clean off.

[coffee-and-tea-time]

Hi! The overly happy coffee speaking! I noticed one of my fav yandere accounts like one post of Tea and I'm screaming like a fangirl. I'm fully in a delulu mood so I needed to write this. Editing this I find out more accounts I follow like some posts, I'm feeling shy now.

☁ the sweetest reality nightmare ☁

TW: yandere behavior, delusions, the agony of self-preservation, stalking, obssesion, reader with sleep problems, willing reader, flirty reader x opportunist yandere lol

➤ first part

➤ here to see the other option

He's already at your house, in your room, it's not like you're gonna make it less crazy if you talk to him now, right? And if he is about to kill you, he would do it even if you keep acting.

A smile start creeping in your face, seems like you really can't act like sleeping beauty anymore, huh? 

“Oh, I'm really glad, you seem like you're finally having a good dream… will it be too greedy if I want to be inside that little dream of yours? Well, if you find that greedy, you won't be able to handle me later”

“Oh, I would love to test that, mind showing me a little more of that ‘greedy’ side of you?”

As you open your eyes, you're met with quite the sight, a man with amber hair and golden eyes looking perplexed, his palpable nervousness makes you grow a little soft spot for him already.

“What happened, Love? Cat got your tongue?  What a shame I really wished to hear more from you… oh, now that I recall, I do know you, you're Pin, aren’t you?”

You manage to remember his face, he is a classmate which you never spoke to but caught him staring one or two times which you dismissed as a coincidence.

“I can't believe you didn't scream when you saw me here and you actually remember my name, even calling me by a nickname… did I fall asleep without noticing?”

You can't help but giggle as his antics when he pinched his hand, once he felt the sting his gaze returns to meet yours, you can almost see his eyes shining as he quickly approaches you, literally sitting next to you in the bed as he began to talk, amazed.

“Yes! That's my name, Cherry, oh, you don't mind me calling you Cherry? Ah, me visiting you like this should be more of a problem than that, shouldn't it?”

“If it bothered me, I would’ve screamed and called the police already, and no, I don't mind the little petname but I do have one issue”

You hold a smile as you catch him gulping hard, probably more worried that he has ever been.

“I’m sorry Dear, did I mean any troubles for you? I can fix my mistake, I promise! I just can’t help it but want to see you more”

Even if his words express lament, the lovefool look in his face and the firm grip on your hand betrays his lack of regret for his actions.

“Surely you know by now that I have problems falling asleep, and just now you offered me the ‘perfect medicine’, I hope you are the type to stick to your word”

You watch his face turn into a puzzled expression and then open his mouth to ask until realization hits him… He almost literally jumps into the bed, as if he had done it before.. honestly, probably he did gently pulling you into a warm but tight embrace.

“oh, Dear, you are the one that can't take your words back now”

“I wasn’t planning on it”

“I’m glad to hear that because now I'm going to visit you freely, everytime I want. We can cuddle every night, will you let me cook for you? I swear I already know all your eating habits, although we could improve that eating schedule of yours, I swear I won’t be pushy about it; Can I kiss you good night and good morning? Oh, first we should go on dates to work more on your trust in me! But I will assume hugs are fine since you directly asked me for them. Wait, I can cling to you when we are outside too, right? Right?”

“Pin, you’re speaking way too fast, calm down a little, Dear, but yeah, you can be clingy, this is already comfy enough to forget my annoying insomnia so I can totally get used to this”

He shuffles closer just to snuggle further, you swear you can almost hear him purring as he holds you like you two are a newlywed couple.

“and we can make an agreement on the kiss thing, I’m open for a debate on that”

“I don’t like to repeat myself but now you really can’t take any of your words back, Darling”

sorry for any misspellings or weird sentence structure ❣

images from pinterest

[fancypersonaskeletonturtle]

Why was Jay abandoned in a junkyard?

Was it a scraped plotline, a fan theory or an idea of my own delusions that Jay’s mum left him in the desert to prevent people (like the Administration and the Kingdom of Imperium) from exploiting his powers? This theory is so much crazier if you consider that sand acts as an insulator which prevents electricity from flowing through it. So the desert is the exact opposite of Jay’s natural element/ ‘natural habitat’. Does this mean that while he’s in the desert the flow of electricity through his body is restricted? Did living in the desert for 16 years suppress his electrical abilities and prevent him from fully developing his powers thus preventing him from attracting attention from those who would exploit his power (prior to joining wu ofc) ? Honestly, if you think about it, it’s crazy that we haven’t had a canon plotline that has the bad guys use Jay as a human battery (I think that was also a scrapped idea for Prime Empire right?). Actually, the fic Overload by @AureAllegories does this really well.

Anyway, Jay couldn’t have grown up in a worse environment to establish/ be in touch with his element. When you consider the other ninja Cole was naturally drawn to rock climbing when he was younger, Zane used to live surrounded by snow, Kai and Nya were subtly in touch with fire and water while forging weapons. And whilst the Junkyard has sufficient electricity, it’s not half as much as there is in Ninjago city itself. So maybe the point of hiding Jay to prevent him from having his powers exploited wasn’t about hiding him in a junkyard, but more about hiding him in the desert, and away from his natural element :O

The cherry on the cake is that after all these years of having Jay’s powers suppressed/ not really functioning at full strength, for the purpose of him not being used as a human energy source, he still ended up in the hands of the Wolf Clan?? The Administration?? Who perhaps encouraged him to embrace the full chaotic power of lightning for their own purpose despite the measures taken to prevent it.

[janeiteoftheslums]

At The Gold Saucer, Aerith Is Still Pining For Zack

SE baited us so hard with that last trailer, I can’t stop giggling.

At first, I didn’t know what to think. Romantically coded clips of Aerith clinging to Cloud—a very stoic and grumpy-looking Cloud, I might add—interspersed with him gawping at her on stage as she “sings” a love ballad about fate and destiny? Isn’t that a bit… tacky? One wonders if SE is trying to make two of their most popular characters look like total scumbags. Why is Aerith, fully aware that her new friends Cloud and Tifa have feelings for each other, getting waaaaay too cozy with Cloud? And is Cloud somehow complicit in what seems to be a flagrant betrayal of both Tifa and Zack?

Of course, we know exactly who’s been gobbling it up. Convinced that Hollow is about Cloud longing to be with Aerith, they’ve wasted no time in appropriating “No Promises To Keep” as Aerith’s answer to Cloud.

The trailer does give the impression there’s something going on between those two; and, obviously, that was deliberate.

But when you take a closer look at the lyrics that are sung after the trailer, an entirely different picture emerges.

Till the day when we meet again

In our place

Just let me believe

In the church

Know that you’ll take my hand

And never let me go

Take my hand

And believe we can be

Together evermore

Did you catch that?

In OUR PLACE.

In the CHURCH.

I know that in general, theme songs aren’t meant to be interpreted line by line, but this is VERY specific.

Now unless you’ve bought into the rampant lies and delusions about Hollow, you should immediately know who Aerith is singing about. Who spent “a lot of time” with her in that church, according to the devs? Who, when he first saw her face, thought he was in heaven and called her an angel? Whom did she embrace to comfort him? To whom did she first speak the words, “I’d like to spend more time with you”, in that very same church?

(Hint: not the other guy who crashed through the roof 7 years later wearing the same sword and spent more time with Reno than with Aerith during the brief time they were there together.)

It’s not all that hard to figure out.

The ones who still refuse to see what SE has been beating us over the heads with since Chapter 8 of Remake—they’ve got it coming. They’ve already set themselves up for this. I’ve seen them comparing Cloud’s expression in Remake’s red dress reveal to this one below, where he’s supposedly lovestruck as he watches her sing.

And since now we know there will be four different Gold Saucer dates, just like OG, these are both from OPTIONAL scenes. What else is new?

The devs were obviously trolling big time with that over-the-top scene, with the red carpet and the crowd and the fireworks, and now they’re doing it again, this time on an even grander scale. Aerith is the star of the show, singing on stage, garbed in a pure white princess dress, standing amid showers of yellow flowers.

Follow the yellow flowers.

Reunion.

Till the day when we meet again…

And if Aerith is singing about how she wants to be with Zack at the Gold Saucer, moments before the infamous gondola ride that’s been trumpeted for decades as proof she fell for Cloud—or the Zack-colored version of Cloud, as most of us understand he wasn’t truly himself—then that tacky montage we saw in the trailer can’t possibly be what it appears to be.

This is new. Aerith is now not only explicitly but extravagantly shown to be still pining for her first love at this point in the story. She’s NOT moving on, even if she’s convinced herself she’s trying to. Or perhaps she’s “giving up” again, as she lamented to Cloud in the Language of Flowers scene.

So what’s really going through Aerith’s head as she’s reaching for Cloud? What are we supposed to think of her? What other developments have happened in Rebirth to lead up this point—say, for example, in Gongaga? We’ll have to wait for rest of the game to get the full context of these clips—which, again, are most likely from optional scenes—but I’m convinced they’ll be overlaid so heavily with the specter of Zack that no one with a shred of honesty could possibly conclude Cloud is being portrayed as Aerith’s true love.

What all this amounts to, basically, is more of the same fake, superficially romantic scenes we got in Remake. The bridal catch. Them being on a “date”. Wall Market sleaze calling them a couple. I absolutely hate it, but the way this is looking, Cait Sith might still have something to say this time around.

And what about Cloud? Again, the same as Remake. She pushes herself into his space, and he’s kind (or bewildered) enough to tolerate her closeness, but his face is an open book. He’s not having a good time.

Don’t forget: Crisis Core Reunion was stated to be part of the FF7 Remake project. The devs wanted everyone to play that game in order to fully appreciate what’s coming in Rebirth. And a central feature of that game was Zack and Aerith’s blossoming relationship and the tragic way it was cut short. Not only that, but Zack’s character profile for Rebirth states he’s trying to return to his “love”, Aerith. They didn’t do all this for no reason.

Remember the last scene of Remake? The first notes of Hollow play as rain falls on the cracked earth at Cloud’s feet, exactly the way Nobuo Uematsu describes his inspiration for the song. Then Zack appears, with the visual of his face interposed directly between Cloud and Aerith.

Just as in the first game, that image is going to hover over every scene with the two of them in Rebirth. Just as their “date” in Remake wasn’t about Aerith falling for Cloud but missing Zack, Aerith’s Gold Saucer date is going to have similar overtones. Their brief time together is not the love story some are bent on interpreting it as. And we shouldn’t fall for it, either.

In spite of the way they shaded her in Remake, of which booby-trapping Cloud in her house was just one instance, I’m not willing to believe SE is out to utterly destroy Aerith’s character. I don’t think most of her fans deserve that. But they do seem to be going out of their way to make a certain ship look really, really bad.

And for those who still insist on pretending, against all odds, that ship is actually going to sail? They’re in for a massive shock.

Take a moment to let this sink in. The THEME SONG for Final Fantasy Rebirth is a love song from Aerith to Zack, yearning to be reunited with him, promising him he’ll find her. And it’s performed by the amazing Loren Allred, who first dazzled us with her stunning vocals in The Greatest Showman (let’s try to forget for the moment that, most frustratingly, she sounds nothing like Aerith’s English VA and it’s futile to hope the in-game performance, if she does in fact supply Aerith’s actual singing voice, will be the least bit believable). This is more than any Zerith fan ever dreamed we’d be given. It’s positively glorious.

More than once in the past few months, it’s been confirmed that the end of the FF7R trilogy will fall in line canonically with the events of Advent Children, with Zack and Aerith in the Lifestream, “together evermore”. We have to get there somehow, to that point where they joke about “adopting” Cloud and walk off, side by side, to say their final goodbye. I can’t wait to see their reunion!

[jessamine-rose]

✿⚘❁⚘❀ Astilbe ❀⚘❁⚘✿

Fufufu after all these months, here’s another Herbarium epilogue with more dark fluff and comfort. It was nostalgic to write for Capitano and his darling again (*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ*.ﾟ

Tw:: YANDERE, unhealthy relationships, psychological trauma, Stockholm Syndrome

♡ 1.2k words under the cut ♡

The astilbe’s beauty has faded.

The pressed flowers are only a phantom of the radiant clusters you picked weeks ago. The petals have lost their brilliance. The feathery plumes have been reduced to flat shapes.

This is a natural consequence of preservation, one which occurs to all of your flowers. So why do you feel particularly mournful for the astilbe?

Maybe the flowers aren’t the problem. Rather, it’s you.

Your wedding ring twinkles on your index finger, an unavoidable sight. The sculpted flowers serve as a constant reminder of your marital status, disregarding the fact that you and your captor never had an official ceremony.

Capitano…what time will he be home? You usually accompany him to Zapolyarny Palace but he decided against it today. Important business, he claimed.

Nonetheless, he treated you so kindly before his departure. He’d given your new guard a stern warning which, even in his formal tone, sounded more like a death threat. You received a soft kiss, some new books, a promise of his immediate return.

Your life has never been happier. So why are you still plagued with your bad days?

You are used to this feeling, the ever-present melancholy which has haunted you even before you met Capitano—those hours spent trapping flowers in your notebook, escaping reality through storybooks, reliving memories better left forgotten. Perhaps it is your subconscious upset with you, the double curse of your self-awareness and resignation.

How can you believe in his love, knowing it is a twisted delusion?

Despite this, you’ve never smiled more since the day you accepted your fate.

Since meeting Capitano, you even remembered how to cry. Compared to your past tears and “tantrums,” the action feels oddly cathartic nowadays. Like a call for help finally answered by your own devoted knight.

The sound of heavy footsteps interrupts your thoughts.

Your husband is home.

The door opens. Capitano enters the room.

“______, is everything well?”

“Capitano.” You leave your desk and meet him halfway. “Did you mi—how was work? You arrived earlier than usual.”

He feels warm. You lean into his embrace, letting him be the first to pull away. His hands remain on your waist.

“The new recruits show potential.” He looks down at you, face hidden by his mask. After a short pause, he adds, “Did you take kindly to Sergeant Naiad?”

“Cyane was all right,” you reply, shrugging. “They just kept quiet and watched me from a distance. They are nothing like Ceres, if that is what you’re asking.”

The change in his tone isn’t lost on you. “That is acceptable. Should they infringe on your personal boundaries, inform me at once.”

Is that even necessary? He already has his spies to monitor your behavior.

Your notebook is still open to the astilbe. Capitano walks over to your desk, keeping one hand on the small of your back.

“I presume that your astilbe has been fully preserved.” He taps the corner of the page, careful not to touch the pink and white flowers.

You make no motion to retrieve it. “Yes. They’re…not as pretty as when I first saw them. Or maybe that’s just my perception.”

He turns to face you. “If you desire more astilbe, we may revisit the botanical garden.”

“No, it’s fine.”

Shouldn’t this be enough? What more must he do for you?

“Which flowers do you want?” You return to your chair, feeling a familiar stab of guilt. “I’ll let you pick first this time.”

“My darling, what troubles you?”

Huh?

Capitano caresses your cheek this time.

“You are in low spirits,” he observes. Anger creeps into his tone, faint yet palpable. “Did you tell me the truth about Sergeant Naiad?”

You quickly nod. “I was! I just feel…it’s nothing, really! Nothing worth your trouble.”

He remains adamant. “I would be an inattentive husband if I fail to care for my wife.”

What kind of expression is on his face? Even with his face concealed, you don’t want to look at him. Anything to prevent him from perceiving your distress.

From your peripheral vision, an image catches your attention—a framed drawing on your desk, illustrated by the same artist who painted the family portrait in your living room.

-

“Such an odd couple,” they muttered.

You had to agree with them. With his mask and fine armor, Capitano was an intimidating subject. You, on the other hand, looked small and delicate in your lacy gown. But your close physical contact left no doubt that the two of you belonged to the same picture.

The artist spent more time on you. They took a while to capture your face, describing your gaze as a dim mystery. You didn’t mind; it meant more time in your husband’s arms.

During a short break, you faced Capitano to chat with him. That was when the artist froze, staring at you with renewed interest. A silent look from the former, however, was all it took for them to fearfully return to their canvas.

The finished portrait came with a small pencil sketch. You were looking at Capitano with bright eyes and a fond smile, unrecognizable even to yourself.

-

“______?” He holds your hand. His own ring twinkles above your interlocked fingers.

“I…It’s not important,” you insist. Despite yourself, you feel your heart racing for reasons not borne from fear. “I’ve dealt with this before. The issue will go away on its own.”

Foolish girl. Since when was your captor one to leave you alone?

Ever the patient man, Capitano kneels down to meet your gaze.

“One word from you, and I will do everything in my power to alleviate your sorrows,” he tells you. The soft declaration is juxtaposed by his firm grasp on your hand. “How could I be at peace when my beloved flower is in pain?”

Words fail you. You stare at your lap, gripping the armrest with your free hand. It is his next words, spoken with quiet resolution, which spell your defeat.

“But if you refuse to smile, that is also acceptable. I will stay by your side regardless.”

You give up.

At first, Capitano tenses when you throw your arms around him. The hesitation which follows—the way he carefully reciprocates your hug, measuring his strength…it only tugs at your heartstrings all the more.

“Thank you,” you whisper. Your eyes feel damp; are you crying? Your tears don’t match your mood at all.

What is there to worry about? Time and time again, your husband has proven his unwavering devotion to you.

Why should you torture yourself with the truth of your marriage? Freedom is nothing compared to this false happily ever after.

Who cares about the astilbe? You already have the most beautiful, eternal flowers wrapped around your finger.

Capitano’s heartbeat is comforting. He traps you in his embrace, rubbing circles on your back. You don’t need to see past his mask to know what tender emotions lie in his gaze.

“You’re welcome,” he says. He lifts your wrist to his mask, imparting a soft kiss on the back of your hand.

A small smile tugs at your lips. “I feel a bit better thanks to you.”

♡

Side Story ๑ Epilogue ๑ Another Comfort Fic

A few months ago, I started this fic cuz I was sad. And now that I’m less sad, I decided to finish it and cry over Capitano again. Aahh he and Damsel always put me in a soft mood TvT

Once again, thank you to @diodellet for your support as my bestie and peer reviewer. Last year, she actually wrote her own Herbarium-inspired comfort fic which I beta-read and linked above. Her smut is amazing and well-written, so pls check it out <3

Do share your thoughts on this fic!! And if you read the teaser for Astilbe, look at me in the eye and tell me that the Captain isn’t the best at comforting his darling ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´ω`ﾟ)ﾟ｡

Tag a Capitano enjoyer!! @bye-bye-sunbird @yandere-romanticaa @nicebonescomrades @harmonysanreads @ansy-tea @leftdestiny-posts @thescribeoflostmemories @kocherry @gum-iie @oofasleep @shumidehiro @ryo-ri @dulcetthorns @lambdrop @uhhhh-hi-im-sorry-for-this @the-dreaming-city @lyra-mew @yanmaresu @frogchiro @lcveaesop @micchikari

[wakeywakeyjakey]

Obsessed with the duality of potential Batjokes dynamics. When it comes to the vulnerability and accepting feelings piece, both routes of the one who has trouble accepting it + the one who accepts it easily are so sweet.

It feels a little bit obvious that Bruce might be the one who struggles to accept it even once they’ve been established—but I like when it goes beyond just that good vs evil dichotomy. Bruce running from the love and vulnerability that Joker offers him is nuanced in that he doesn’t believe he actually deserves anything outside of his mission. His whole life, everything he’s allowed to want or desire, is capped by who Batman is and represents. Accepting love from Joker would mean that he’s more human than he wants to be, than he allows himself to be, even than he gets to experience when he’s fully Bruce Wayne. He can’t let himself do love. A big part of that is rooted in his childhood trauma and the idea that getting close to someone means you could lose them forever—which is only exacerbated by the lifestyle that Joker leads and the reality that Joker walks that line of life/death every single day (just like Bruce). It would be letting go of control, and we know he’s not exactly good at that. But also it’s because Joker sees him. All of him. He sees the most “ugly” side of Bruce that even the Batfam runs from and he embraces that side of him with open arms, with love. Letting Joker love him would mean that those parts of him are lovable too and he can’t allow himself to accept that either when it would be unleashing the side of him he keeps caged and doesn’t want to even acknowledge. Accepting Joker’s love would be finally letting go of his delusion dream of normalcy because then he’s accepting that the only person who truly sees and loves the real him is the Joker. Which makes him just as crazy as the clown.

I also really fucking love when Joker is the one who struggles to accept vulnerability and softness. So much of his experience of their relationship is based in the violence that he seeks and genuinely enjoys. Clearly the love and the flirting is so present on his end that it would almost seem obvious that he’s the one who easily accepts it. BUT there’s this nuance to it in that he can’t fully accept that those feelings are/might be returned deep down and, if they are and if Bruce wants to love him, then it means he would be opening himself up to being broken by love instead of fists, which is a type of breaking he can’t control. There’s inherent control in him accepting and goading being absolutely pummeled to a pulp. But being loved by someone who can withdraw their affections (rather than their fists) without warning is different. So once that control leaves his hands, I can see him being completely unnerved by the affection he previously doled out.

I also think he’s created this culture of love and flirting that feels so much like a joke (even when it’s genuine) that accepting that, when Bruce says it, it isn’t a joke would be a little bit life-shattering. He can’t laugh when there’s no punchline and certainly not when his co-star goes off-script. Not to mention the fact that it would mean accepting his humanity on some level. Joker has been called a monster, an aberration, a freak, his entire life and those are his core beliefs (albeit that he leans into, but they’re not good beliefs). So letting himself be loved and held and touched gently would go against everything he believes about himself and sometimes that’s just too much to bear. His game with Bruce used to affirm one of the only things he knew about himself—so once it leaves that territory and gets twisted into something that feels even more dangerous and unknown to him, I can easily see Joker being the one to run from it.

The sheer amount of potential and poetic duality that comes from Batjokes is something I don’t think I’ll ever get over. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

[doukeshi-kun]

Cannibalism stalker! Nikolai has me on a choke hold.

My brain has been rotting for it like ajheikwg ueu

Imagine stalker!nikolai comes to his silly campervan to see you asleep on his bed, and he has the urge to tear into your skin, rip and preserve your flesh, maybe even take a chuck out of it and swallow it so a piece of you would be within him, with him for as long as he lives.

He gently encases your frame and digs his hands into a wound whilst giving you plenty of face smooches, gliding his tongue over your shoulders before leaving bite marks stained with blood all over.

If he could, silly guy might rip open your chest to kiss your heart tenderly before setting it back into your ribcage, maybe still holding it.

Merge bodily souls with your or smth.

I'm kicking my feet, punching the air, giggling to a phantom over this rn.

But he can't, cause silly guy Cannibalism stalker!nikolai doesn't want you dead but he has urges so he settles for biting you hard enough to draw blood (●’∇’)♪

And even better, he's doing all of this with his hand intertwined with yours at the end of it.

And then, being romantic fanatic, he is (he is not, I think). He's bites around the base of your pinky finger, placing a morally and physically questionable bind that applies to you even though you're silly asleep and didn't say yes, but you will when you're awake.

When his teeth leave the flesh, prominent markings can be seen etched onto it, serving his own delusions. However, it's, of course, not something drastic.

It's a simple 'you'll never leave me' because he's silly and insane like that (he'll kill you if you do).

Ajjdndnfjsknajfjdbfjfj meow.

Being the silly clown he is, he obviously doesn't clean up the split blood just yet.

He lets your blood drip and seeps into the pristine white sheets of his blanket before smiling like some maniacal happy face clown because you are now imprinted onto his belongings as well.

Due to sanitary purposes, he would of course change the sheets and clean you up before snuggling to you and drift off to lala land to dream about ripping your body to chunks, piecing you back together so that he can obviously soak into your blood and fully, in physical form merge with you.

MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW

I'm mentally deteriorating from this brain rot, oh my fucking god, pray to the lorddd 🎣

tw: gore, vore, cannibalism, nsfw

surprisingly anon, gore isn't that heavy of a topic in my blog lmao but hear ye—! our dear laotianye has come to the rescue, doing the lord work!

mmmm i really love our silly guy is being SO tender with the heart like omg that's the organ that beats for his name 🫀 and brrrrr i love the thought of him doing it while holding hands like HE WOULD TALK THROUGH IT HE WOULD TALK THROUGH ITTTT

i also like that he would bite and make a bite ring around your finger. like yes bae, embrace that primal ferality of yours 😍 he'd probably get hard as fuck when you do the same to him. on a second thought, imagine stalker!nikolai is fucking you dumb and purposely slip his fingers into your mouth in hopes for you biting him hehe

and i like that his dream is literally about devouring and murdering you like if that ain't love, idk what is 😌❤️ also, imagine after he dreams about all of that, he just scans your body, not for lust purpose but he's imagining dissection marks lmao i'm gonna stop

PRAY TO THE LORD