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farshores · 2 years

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Character Masterpost!

Figured I’d have to post this eventually - fair warning these are kinda rough, I was never good at this sorta thing lol. But enjoy! A quick masterpost of my Skyrim ocs (might add Oblivion + Morrowind ones whenever I play those games)

Under the cut because, hoo boy, do I have a tendency to ramble

Name(Titles): Jeer-Tei Perdes (Dragonborn / Legate Perdes / Listener / Harbinger / Slayer of Miraak, Alduin, Paarthurnax and Ulfric / Champion of Hircine) Race: Argonian Gender/Sexuality: Nonbinary (They/Them) / Gay Birthsign: Steed Age: Roughly Late 20s/Early 30s to Mid/Late 30s (As of the events of Skryim + Dragonborn DLC), Roughly early/mid 50s (events of VIGILANT + Dawnguard DLC) Reference Sheet: (x)

Jeer-Tei had an interesting start in life, their egg abandoned near the docks of Satakalaam, only to be discovered by a local Redguard blacksmith picking up his shipments. Once hatched, they were raised under Redguard traditions and values - from its pantheon to the general disdain of magic - & would carry these beliefs over upon their arrival to Skyrim as a young adult. Tei didn’t intend on staying in the province, especially with the rumors of a civil war bubbling, but unfortunately got scammed into working at the Windhelm docks for the next few years. During this, they felt sympathy for the Dunmer and Argonians stuck in the city and chose to stick around to guard both the Assemblage & Gray Quarter at night from the unruly locals. It was a bit before the time of Ulfric’s capture when Tei would officially leave Windhelm, Rumarin & Lucifer in tow, unknowingly starting the path towards Alduin’s defeat. Which they have...strong opinions of.

Trivia/Fun facts:

Tei was never one to worship the Divines (who they refer to as the “Imperial Cult” with much disdain), so the fact they were this supposed hero of Akatosh leaves a bad taste in their mouth.

Could care less about the Empire. While they definitely didn’t agree with Ulfric’s causes, they didn’t want to work for a faction that abandoned their home to the Thalmor. Unfortunately, they were strong armed into joining the Empire’s army due to previous actions having consequences.

Tei was infected with Canis Hysteria (Lycanthropy) early in their arrival to Skyrim, they quickly learned to live with it & became a follower of Hircine.

Post-Alduin & CW, Tei unfortunately doesn’t spend much time at home. More often than not they’re taking trips to Solitude or even Cyrodiil itself as Skyrim’s rep - or is holed up in Skyhaven with Blade business

Name(Titles): Meixiu (Mei) Perdes (That one tall chick who keeps raising the dead) Race: Argonian/Altmer Gender/Sexuality: Girl...Perhaps (She/Her) / Lesbian Birthsign: Apprentice Age: Late teens to Early/Sorta Mid 20s (Events of VIGILANT + Dawnguard DLC, Bit of College of Winterhold quest as well) Reference Sheet: (x)

Hatched and raised in Ivarstead, Mei is the youngest (next to her twin, Otero) of the Perdes family, & the most magic-oriented to boot. She always had a fascination with the schools, putting her at odds with her 3 parents - but thankfully, they were never ones to keep her from learning. Mei would become a student at the College of Winterhold at a relatively young age, learning that her talents shine the most with a mix of Conjuration and Dwemer tech! After....an unfortunate incident down in the Midden...We don’t talk about it. Regardless, it gained her a spot in a transfer program to Shimmerene’s mage guild - conveniently where she missed out on the whole orb debacle she and some fellow students were looking into...huh. But hey! Summerset is really nice & she gets to apply her studies towards helping people...right?

Trivia/Fun facts:

Mei is roughly 8′3″ when fully grown - she tends to forget how this height can intimidate people

She is very interested on the concept of souls & how the Dwemer worked with them. But she insists it’s on ways to help people - rather than trapping them in the machines

Mei’s very open-minded on some ideas that those might be uncomfortable with. She herself doesn’t fully understand the whole upset about raising the dead & soul gems herself.

Her spine+neck is very flexible (think ferret-spine). Regardless, she does need to wear a brace occasionally because being a long-bendy noodle is not good for your back.

Name(Titles): Otero Perdes (Child of Stendarr / Slayer of Harkon) Race: Argonian/Akaviri Gender/Sexuality: Transmasc (He/Him) / Demisexual Birthsign: Apprentice Age: Late teens to Early/Sorta Mid 20s (Events of VIGILANT + Dawnguard DLC) Reference Sheet: (x)

Youngest of the Perdes family, next to Mei, Otero is often seen as the less approachable one of the family. (A feat in itself, considering how intimidating Tei became) He’s rude, quick to see someone as a threat, and has very little tolerance for Daedra, their worshippers, or the undead. It wasn’t always like this, however; Otero was initially a quiet child, struggling with ways to step out of his parent’s shadow. As it turned out, he was “blessed” with the same beast blood Tei held - his first transformation happening at the age of 13. This ended up traumatizing him & would create a rift with Tei for years to come - as the two had vastly different views on the situation. Not long after Mei left for Winterhold, Otero would run off himself - ending up near Dawnstar & taken under Altano’s wing to become a Vigilant. (Something Tei didn’t agree with, but they were of the belief of letting Otero see things through on his end.) It was here where he met Pelath, and where both had suffered from Molag Bal’s games. After the events of VIGILANT, Otero would soon join the Dawnguard with a new-found hatred for vampires, being the one to kill Harkon alongside Serana.

Trivia/Fun facts:

If you had to assign Otero a class from the previous Elder Scroll games, it would be Crusader.

While now very skilled in the art of Restoration & One-handed weapons, Otero was far from it when he first joined the Vigilants. His mastery came from many grueling training sessions, alongside many more life & death situations.

The only vampire he truly tolerated/trusted is Serana - even willing to defend her if she had decided not to cure herself.

I hope you don’t have a rough n gruff voice hc for him, because his main voice claim/reference is Jason Schwartzmann

Name(Titles): Pelath Elsinire (Shezarr / Keeper of Stuhn’s Ravine) Race: Altmer Gender/Sexuality: Bigender (He/Him + She/Her) / Pansexual Birthsign: Lord Age: Early to Mid/Sorta late 20s (Events of VIGILANT + Dawnguard DLC)

A runaway from Summerset, Pelath came to Skyrim in hopes for a new life. What she didn’t expect was to be thrown headfirst into a whole Daedric debacle. After being recruited by Altano, Pelath was assigned to be Otero’s partner in missions - the two having a relatively rough start due to Otero’s general attitude, but they quickly bond & come to rely on one another, especially after getting trapped in Cold Harbour. The whole event was life-changing, to say the least, & Pelath still struggles with the fact that he is Shezarr incarnate - since...y’know...Elf. But there’s no time to fret on such things, Pel is a follower of Stendarr first, and that’s going to be the focus.

Trivia/Fun facts:

Pel would assist Otero in the events of Dawnguard, while she wouldn’t be there for the final fight, she would help provide healing & other resources. In fact, Pel was the reason Otero didn’t end up getting into a worse situation with Serana when the two discovered her, as he was quite ready to attack the vampire.

She is a jack of all trades when it comes to the different schools of magic, Illusion is her strong suit.

Pel and Otero do have some romantic chemistry, but both agreed on the fact that neither are truly ready for a relationship right now.

Has no idea where the face scar came from, had it as long as memory serves.

Name(Titles): Courron (Librarian’s Assistant / Archmage-In-Training) Race: Bosmer/Imperial Gender/Sexuality: Cis Boy(tm) (He/Him) / AroAce Birthsign: Lover Age: Early to Mid/Sorta late 20s (Events of VIGILANT + Dawnguard DLC, College of Winterhold)

Mei’s childhood best friend who doesn’t get paid enough w/ the shit he’s seen. Courron’s the most normal of all the individuals listed, he just wants to get an education & help upkeep the Arcanaeum in Winterhold. Though stopping a Thalmor from misusing the Eye of Magnus is on that list too, he guesses. Courron doesn’t know what mass goal he has in mind and isn’t too psyched about being trained to become Archmage; he’s just happy where he is at now, responding to letters from Mei & occasionally assisting in experiments whenever she comes to visit.

Trivia/Fun facts:

Not to be cringe but he may or may not be a Lucien/Auri fankid. This is probably going to change though lmao

Literally the most normal dude here, just wants to read books and do fancy magic stuff.

Knows what happened with Mei in the Midden, doesn’t talk about it because he isn’t a snitch

Played evil god(tm) and gave him my trait of being damn near-blind & needing strong-ass glasses. Nearsightedness is a bitch

Name(Titles): K’avle (Priest of Stendarr) Race: Redguard Gender/Sexuality: Cis male (he/him) / Bisexual Birthsign: Lady Age: Early to Mid 50s (Events of Skyrim + Dragonborn DLC) - ~70s (Events of VIGILANT + Dawnguard DLC)

TBA

Trivia/Fun facts:

TBA

#oc masterpost #skyrim #skyrim ocs #jeerteipedes #mei perdes #otero perdes #pelath elsinire #courron #sorry this took so long i got distracted by soup

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burnedbyshoto · 4 years

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mamihlapinatapei

— mamihlapinatapei: wordless yet meaningful look shared by two people who desire to initiate something, but are both reluctant to start. —

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pairing: todoroki natsuo x fem!reader

warnings: 18+, smut, daddy kink, praise, choking, cockwarming, orgasm denial

word count: 8,903

a/n: a commission for @redbeanteax, sorry it took so long. my back is in so much pain and good god did i feel like i was cheating on shouto when writing this. i hope you enjoy it!!!!

message me to join my taglist!

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Soulmates were an old concept.

It was this phenomenon that had first occurred so many years ago. It was a miracle that allowed the two perfect halves come together.

In its initial introduction, divorce rates and plummeted to all-time lows! For an entire generation, divorce rates were at an all-time low of zero. No one in the world were getting divorces, choosing to stay with the person that was deemed worthy of them. It seemed for some time that people were going to fall in love with their soulmates and find happiness and prosperity for them.

That is until soulmates crossed borders, seas, racial tensions, economic differences, and sexual preferences…

The rich stopped trying to bring someone in for a rag to riches effect, choosing to instead marry within their own class circle, choosing wealth over love. International soulmates couldn’t figure out a common language, they’d sit in front of each other with lousy translator apps, unable to talk freely and openly, and soon their relationship was destroyed. Racial tensions were especially hard. There were reports of soulmates waking back up into their bodies to find their home destroyed and family hurt because their soulmate could not stand the thought -- the idea -- of the race of their soulmate. There were still homophobic people in this world of soulmates who could not accept their sexuality when presented to their soulmate who was the same gender and would not leave any means of contact behind.

Soulmates, while excellent and loving when it is something within your reach, turned out to be a pretty fucked up thing.

But nevertheless, it didn’t stop you from ever hoping that whoever your soulmate was, it would be someone who would love you precisely who you are, no matter who they were.

Your tired eyes focused on your paper, your eyes scanning the different lines that glowed on your computer screen, trying to find a better way to propose your thoughts. There wasn’t much to this paper, it was a reasonably simple paper about the pros and cons of soulmates for your anthro and philosophy class. Since you were little, you revered in the concept of soulmates, your excitement to be in love with someone for the rest of your life was a pretty solid thing, even at a young age.

As you grew older, you held onto this idea, choosing to ignore the issues with soulmates in favor of optimism and positivity. There were still many, many happy and in love, soulmates! After all, there was still an 87% rate for soulmates marrying each other, the opposing 13% came from the worst of people, the most disadvantaged of people, and the most influential people. It’s how it was.

For a college student in Japan, you figured that you had a solid chance of having a soulmate that you could love and have their love in return. But your issue was the mystery behind it, the unknowing of it all. While you knew that soulmates did mean pure love, there was a part of you that hoped that there this someone out there was someone you already knew.

Well, there was one person in particular.

“I’ll proofread your paper if you look at mine,” a tired voice croaked from hours of not being used.

Your eyes felt dry, and you glanced up at the white-haired boy who was the holder of your affections for about two years now.

Todoroki Natsuo.

“Only if you don’t make fun of mine, I’m so bad at this philosophical bullshit,” you groan, rubbing your face. You heard Natsuo snort, his arms stretched above his head, and your eyes dropped back down onto your screen, not wanting to be staring at him.

“Oh please, I’m sure I’ll feel leagues smarter by the time I finish reading it,” he grinned, and you felt yourself looking back at the white-haired man who was pushing his laptop towards you.

“You’re annoying,” you sigh, but there’s an undeniable smile on your face when you hand over your own device.

“Sure, sure.”

What was there to say about him?

You had met him two years ago during freshmen orientation, he was in your introduction group, and coincidentally in the same classes as you. The two of you ended up getting fairly close over the first semester of college, and by the end of your spring semester, you realized in horror that you had a crush on him.

These feelings weren’t bad, he was a respectful and caring boyfriend, that was something you knew without a doubt. Of course, knowing that he is that, and not hypothetically assuming it meant that he had a girlfriend. Yes, Todoroki Natsuo was a taken man.

You’d never really met his girlfriend. You knew who she was, how she looked like, her favorite things in the world, and her least favorite things, that’s how much Natuso talked about her. You had the pleasure of meeting her once, and the only thing you could remember is that she had mouse ears and the personality of a mouse. Scared, timid, and squeaky.

She barely talked to you, and after the initial meeting would never join Natsuo and you anywhere.

You didn’t take it personally, you wouldn’t really want to hang out with her either, especially with how you felt about Natsuo. It was a conflict of pretending that you and Natsuo were falling in love, ignoring the impeding time you had to be with him, and of course, the guilt that coursed through your body whenever you rested your head against his shoulder during these late-night studies.

In two weeks, it was July 2.

Somehow on this day, you would swap bodies with your soulmate when you fell asleep, and when you woke up, you had five minutes to figure out how to get them to reconnect with you. Most people left their phones unlocked that day, letting their soulmates leave their phone numbers in their phone, sometimes they’d leave their address, and Instagram and Twitter handle. After so many generations of soulmates experiencing this, and the ever-evolving technology, this was the way that people effectively found their soulmates once the five minutes were up.

But unlike what people had once assumed, there was no exact age as to when you would swap bodies. Some people were lucky to swap bodies at the age of sixteen, and the oldest recorded case was when someone was twenty-four. You were nineteen, as was Natsuo, neither one of you had this soulmate experience yet, but unlike before, you had a strong feeling that this was your year.

“It looks great,” Natsuo whistled lowly, his head shaking while giving back your laptop.

You felt your face grow warm at the praise, your fingers highlighting another sentence for him to correct, “Thanks.”

“What you thinking about mine?”

You sighed, pushing away from the table so that you were looking into his grey eyes that looked at you with curiosity and high respect.

“I’m a bit confused about your position,” you admitted, your fingers brushing back your hair so that you could look at the man whose lips pursed in thought. “You’re saying that soulmates are bullshit, but you believe it regardless?”

Natsuo nods his head, an embarrassed blush stretching across his face, “Well yeah, they kinda are. How is some cosmic thing the thing in charge of telling me about who I am to truly love?”

“So when you find out who your soulmate is, you won’t love them, but you’ll stay with them?”

“Yes? I don’t know… I know that my parents aren’t soulmates, and that didn’t work out. It’s hard for me to explain, but I really like Mausua, and I want to see how far things can go with her,” Natuso explains his thoughts to you, that stupid grin spreading on his face that always appeared whenever he talked about her. “I mean for years people didn’t marry their exact soulmates, but they were happy and in love for ages. Why can’t I try that out?”

You tried to hide the fact that those words hurt you. It shouldn’t have mattered, after all, there was no saying that the two of you were soulmates, and the probability of that happening was entirely slim to none.

“Yeah, why not?”

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June 30 - one-week left

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You were slumped on top of the table, your head banging against the cool wood while Natsuo recited his notes to you. The both of you were in the middle of some argument that had tailed off in fifty different directions, neither one of you admitting defeat.

“Natsuo, I don’t give a flying fuck if that’s what the notes say!” you yell, throwing your eraser at his head, an act that he easily evaded while continuing to read off his notes. “You don’t give the baby the torch flame!”

“You’re not even listening to what I’m saying,” Natsuo insists with a laugh, his notebook coming to hit your back slightly. “If you give the baby the flame, they’ll be unbeatable!”

If you could roll your eyes any harder than they did now, you were sure you would manage to see your brain, but instead, you shifted on the table so that you were facing Natsuo, and you stuck out your tongue.

“Put your tongue back in your mouth before I pinch it.”

“Sowwy, I donth understhand,” you retorted your nose, turning up towards the ceiling.

Natsuo’s hands grabbed your wrists, and you shrieked, immediately trying to fight him off while he dragged you towards him. Screams and laughter filled the air until Natsuo accidentally pulled you off the table. So there you two sat, on the floor of the study room, in hysterics.

Your hands clutched your sides, breathing failing you while your ass stung slightly from the pain of falling. Natsuo’s face was red, his feet slamming against the floor periodically enough that you almost assumed that he was going to pee himself.

“Just go to your stupid date already,” you groaned once your laughter subsided, your eyes resting on Natsuo, who was now laying on the floor exhausted. “You’re going to be late!”

Every Saturday after you and Natsuo were done studying, he would have a date night with Mausua. It was something he never missed, something he always made sure they did, even when his nose was dripping with snot, and he had the worst migraine. It’s just how he was.

Natsuo paused, his eyes looking at you with a shine of pain, and you sat up despite the soreness of your stomach. There was something wrong.

“She broke up with me,” Natuso admitted with a stiff smile, his shoulders shrugging. “Last night, she had this feeling that this was her year to find her soulmate, and well, I don’t know…”

His hand dragged across his face, and your eyebrows scrunched together. Scooting closer to him, you sat shoulder to shoulder with him before you nudged him with the back of your hand, “You feeling okay?”

“Yeah, actually I am,” Natsuo responded despite the wry smile on his face, “I mean, it sucks, but what can I do about it?”

“Cry, scream, we can go buy cats and put them by her front door,” you began listing off a bunch of different things, most ideas being straight near criminal, but it made Natsuo laugh.

“Remind me to never mess with you,” Natsuo shoves you with his shoulder. The force of that alone nearly sends you flying, but you merely grunt in response. “But, I’m fine.”

“You sure?” you ask, obviously unconvinced.

“Yeah,” he nods, “I will take a hug if you don’t believe me.”

Rolling your eyes, you stood up, stretching out a hand you helped Natsuo to his feet, and without a second thought, you wrapped him into a hug. Your body feels just a bit warm when he held you close.

“I’ll show up at her door with a cat and a baby with a blowtorch, just say the word.”

“Stop, you menace.”

“Shut up, you know you love me.”

“Have I ever denied that before?”

“Yes.”

“True.”

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July 1 - one day left

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“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!” You screamed, shoving a birthday present into Natsuo’s face the moment he opened the door.

Natsuo graciously accepted the present, his face brightening with a smile while he thanked you for the gift. “I thought I said I didn’t need anything.”

You shrugged, walking into the house and taking off your shoes, “That’s what you thought, but I am far wiser and know exactly what you need!”

Natsuo snorts, closing the door behind you, and the two of you make light chatter while walking into the house. It had been a while since you came to his house. The last time you had been around, he was still living under the same roof with his dad, but this one was without him. The house had a different energy to it, one that was nothing similar to that of the old house. It was comforting and warm, despite the coldness the family preferred.

Today was Natsuo’s birthday, and he had invited you over for his birthday dinner with his family, something that he didn’t do last year with you. Thankfully you had met most of his family, his sister Fuyumi was an obvious one, and you also had the chance of meeting Rei the other month while running into the mother and son at a tea shop one day. You also had sort of met his baby brother Shouto, who you only really knew because of the U.A. Sports Festival.

Dinner was lovely, the four Todoroki’s, and you enjoyed a bunch of sashimi while talking. The family dynamic was also bizarre for you to experience. Fuyumi was obviously used to being the conversationalist. She was very talkative and inquisitive during the entire night. Shouto was trying his hardest to -- in the most helpful way possible -- act normal. He was stiff but a good conversationalist if you overlooked the often weird phrases he had to say. Rei seemed to be the mediator, trying her best to enjoy the situation but also getting involved within these sibling discussions. And of course, there was Natsuo, who for the first time since you’ve met him was being quite the Drama Queen.

It was endearing to watch Natsuo quarrel with his sister and brother over matters that seemed so trivial and pointless. They were all very strongwilled, it seemed.

“How about you, y/n-chan,” Rei smiled at you, interrupting the ridiculous argument between Shouto and Natsuo about how Natsuo wasn’t going to wake up in someone else’s body the next morning. “Are you expecting to wake up in your soulmate’s body?”

You smiled stiffly, the searing gaze of the two Todoroki brothers burning into your body while you stared at Rei, was this family always this intense?

“Well, I haven’t yet,” you laugh, brushing your hair to the side, “I would definitely like to, but there’s no saying.”

Shouto seemed to sigh, his finger pointing at you, then motioning over to Natsuo, “But is Natsuo going to wake up knowing his soulmate?”

“Shouto!”

Dinner ended with a scoop of ice cream, and you listened in horror and fascination. At the same time, Shouto explained to his family about the insane adventures he’d had at U.A. After helping with cleaning up and thanking the family for dinner, you ended up following Natsuo into his room.

It took no time for you to fall onto his futon, your arms spread out on his bed while Natsuo grabbed your present for him.

“I wonder what this is,” he sang, plopping down next to you.

You immediately sat back up, a grin on your face due to the excitement that flooded your veins, knowing that this was a pretty damn good present.

“Obviously, it’s a photo album of me,” you teased, and he seemed to agree that it was that while he unwrapped it.

From the bag, he pulled out a hoodie that he had been raving about for months now. He had never bought it because he sucked at saving up money for this exclusive hoodie. It was a navy blue sweatshirt that had English print all over it, you couldn’t read what it said as you didn’t learn English while in high school, but it was supposed to be pretty cool.

“Y/n,” Natsuo breathed slowly, his eyes wide and round, his fingers barely touching the fabric. It was as if he felt the material too much it was stain with his fingertips or complete disintegrates within his touch. “How did you? It was sold out, I checked!”

“You told me about how much you wanted this months ago. It was too late for Christmas, so I bought it in advance for your birthday,” you explained with a grin. Warmth flooded your chest while you watched his starstruck expression, and you only felt your heart beat faster when he turned his attention onto you. So you smiled, even more, your eyes closing in your mirth, “Happy birthday, Natsuo!”

You expected him to hug you, to bring you in close and tell you how grateful he was for this gift -- if that much. But when his fingers touched your cheeks, your eyes flew open to see his gaze focused on your lips.

“Can I kiss you?”

There was nothing you could say, your words failing you entirely because this is what you had wanted for years. Tonight was going to be life-changing for you -- whether it was a pleasant change or an adverse change, you had no idea. You’d wanted this for too long to deny him a just a kiss, right?

Your heart is hammering so loudly you swear he can hear it, and with a shaky placement of your hands on his wrist, you seal the space left between the two of you.

While you had never officially dated anyone before, you’ve definitely kissed other people before Natsuo. Most of the other kisses you had were -- quite frankly -- unideal. Stiff and cold lips, rigid bodies, too much saliva pouring from their mouths, disgust soaking your spine, and awkward hand roaming. But this? This was more than anything you could have ever hoped for.

His lips were gentle against yours. A soft rose petal that warmed you from the inside out, a flexible coax that reminded you that despite your ideals, this is what you wanted most. Your head tilted to the side, allowing your meeting lips to connect further, your bodies coming together in yet a bigger and more powerful wave.

But as the sensations that riled your blood and nerves, the actions the two of you grew bolder, riskier, much more passionate.

His fingers released your chin, moving to grip onto your waist, pulling you in. You gasped against his lips, the demanding actions catching you off guard. Your hands pressed onto his chest, your legs shifting so that you were now straddling the larger boy, and you swore you could see stars the second his tongue skimmed your bottom lip.

Closer.

Better.

Wistful.

Your back arched, your chest meeting his when his tongue traced the roof of your mouth, and your hips involuntarily ground against his nearly trembling thighs. He hissed, barely loud enough for you to hear, but his cold fingers slid under your shirt, and you shuddered.

There was no time to react, you felt your body being flipped, and Natsuo was on top of you, his hips grinding into you emphatically, continuously, and unrelentingly. Your hips met his with every movement, your legs wrapped tightly against his waist, trying your best to get him to lose his train of thought with every roll of your hips. The growing bulge in his pants was only a clear indictment to what you were doing to him. Of what was to come of this night. Your head fell back, your jaw-dropping, while you made choking noises, refusing to let such a loud audible noise escape your mouth. But it seemed that Natsuo wanted to hear you moan, to feel you squirm against his hold.

This was making your body explode with sensations you didn’t think was possible from someone who wasn’t your soulmate.

Natsuo’s lips pressed down your neck to your chest, your mind swam with the word soulmate, and your tongue was drenched with his name.

Soulmate.

Tonight was the night you were going to find out.

“I’ve been in love with you for so long,” Natsuo groaned, his tongue leaving wet stripes against your chest, and with the feeling of his fingers tweaking at your nipples through your shirt, you panicked.

“Get off me!” you squeaked, your hands shoving at his shoulders, your legs unwrapping around him.

“What’s wrong?!” Natsuo panics, his hands checking up and down his wrinkled clothes, his body on edge and filled with worry. “Did I do something wrong?!”

“I can’t do this!” you pant, your body feeling itchy at your conflicting emotions. You could do this, you knew that. It would take nothing for you to spend the night with one Todoroki Natsuo, but not on this night, not when you were so sure that you would figure out who your soulmate is. Not if they would wake up in your body with a naked man beside them. No, you couldn’t do that. “Tonight is the special night… and I can’t… we can’t! Not when there’s a possibility that someone is waiting for me!”

Natsuo’s eyebrows furrow, his face setting into an icy frown. There was a clear understanding on his face, emotions that let you know that while he was very disappointed, he understood.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, your gaze no longer able to reach his.

“It’s okay,” he smiles weakly, but his voice is distant and terse. “I’ll see you out…”

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Your eyes focused on the ceiling of your bedroom.

Even though it was three hours since you’ve left the Todoroki residence, your heart was still unfairly beating at the thought of Natsuo kissing you, and the implications of what the both of you wanted to do but hadn’t mustered the courage to do.

You thought about the fact that he had just broken up with his girlfriend seven days ago, maybe he was projecting his no longer met hormones on you? There was no way your best friend was in love with you and chose not to say anything about it until now. But then again, because he was in a relationship, that confession would have been a dick move. But if he did love you, and not her, why would he have stayed with her?

You’re not really sure when you managed to pass out, considering that you had been tossing and turning for literal hours. But soon, you drifted off to sleep, with nothing but a prayer that when you woke up that you would be in someone else’s body.

Your eyes opened when a crack of sunlight hit your face, and you slammed a hand against your face. But your hand came down heavier against your face, and you groaned in pain. But it wasn’t your voice…

Shooting up from your bed, your eyes searched the room around you. It wasn’t yours, you knew that much. But there was something familiar about the color of the walls and the furniture of the room. Rushing to your feet, you saw a mirror and looked into it.

You were met with grey eyes, gentle, kind, and familiar grey eyes. Your fingers traced the pale skin and felt the white hair on your head.

What were the chances?

Todoroki Natsuo was your soulmate.

A smile spread across your face, an unbelievably gracious joy filling you up. But then Natsuo’s phone began to ring, and you picked it up to see your contact picture showing. It was a rather good picture of you and him, a memory from club rush during your first semester of college. On the top were your first name and a pure heart emoji.

Grinning much broader, you picked up the call, placing the phone to your ear, you spoke.

“Hello?”

“What were the chances?” you heard your voice respond back to you, and it took everything not to giggle lunatically within Natsuo’s body.

“I’d say less than zero.”

“Yet here we are,” he teased you, and you went to push back nonexistent hair behind your ear. Dropping your hand to the dresser, you shake your head.

“Are you disappointed?” you couldn’t help but ask, your worries about you being a distraction for him still hot on your mind.

“Definitely not,” he spoke softly, “I know what you’re thinking, y/n. That you were nothing but a distraction from Mausua, or how when I blurted my feelings, they were too in the moment. I should have broken up with her ages ago, but I don’t know. You just didn’t seem attainable to me.”

“You’re an idiot for thinking that, Todoroki,” you sniff, tears welling in your eyes.

“Hey, now,” he reprimanded you, but the teasing was still heavy in his tone, “it’s Todoroki-san to you.”

A smile grew on your face, and you scoffed playfully, “Todoroki-san? I’d much rather call you daddy.”

Now you knew what noises you made, you were nineteen, nearly twenty with a few sexual experiences yourself. Now the sound that escaped Natsuo’s voice was one of approval, and heat spread through your body.

“We have less than a minute,” Natsuo spoke as lowly as your voice could go, and it sent goosebumps down your spine, “I’ll meet you at your place. Are your roommates here?”

“No.”

“Good.”

Your eyes closed, and you listened to Natsuo’s directions. His voice flowing from your voice and slowly ended with his own. Your eyes fluttered open to see yourself standing in your bathroom with your cellphone to your ear. Heat flooded your body, and you realized just how cold his body was.

“I’ll see you in twenty minutes,” he spoke sharply, and a smirk curled onto your face.

“Okay, daddy,” you accentuated.

You couldn’t see him, but you could feel his nostrils flare from the opposite end of the call, a dark look on his face. The line went dead, and an internal panic flared through your veins.

Twenty minutes to prepare, could you even manage that?!

You took the fastest five-minute shower in your life, nearly slipping against the slick bathtub while shaving your legs. Hopping out of the shower, you were quick to brush your teeth, putting product in your hair, and once you were done, you scrambled back to your room. Your hands throwing on the first set of lingerie you found, it was a navy blue teddy that had a deep plunge between your breasts. You hastily slid your sheer navy blue thigh highs up your legs, and just managed to slip your large t-shirt back over your head when there was a knock on your front door.

Looking into your mirror, you felt your chest tighten, your stomach filling with butterflies that left you feeling dizzy. It felt like an eternity when you walked to the front door, rising to the tip of your toes to see Natsuo standing outside of your door. His signature white with grey jacket over a dark grey tank that seemed just the perfect fit, you noticed black joggers on him too, and your teeth buried against your bottom lip, your heart beating erratically.

“Who is it?” you asked teasingly, watching the way Natsuo’s eyes snapped up, and you grinned at the way a coy smile stretched across his face.

“Open up and find out?”

“Mm,” you sigh, pressing a finger to your chin, “I don’t particularly want to find out.”

But nevertheless, your fingers found themselves on your doorknob, opening the wood door to see Natsuo standing there. His eyes were drinking in your face, and there was such a loving smile that emerged on his face.

“Hi, soulmate,” he whispered.

It was no different from the typical way he greeted you, but the simple addition of soulmate sent fire to your cheeks and stomach.

“Hi,” you whisper, stepping aside, letting him in.

He walked in, and you shut the door behind him, waiting for him to take off his shoes and remove his jacket, you stayed put. Your hands were behind your back, just waiting for him to look at you again. Your thoughts trailed to what was going to happen, would you two have sex? Would he grip your waist so tightly you would be left with purple bruises? Would he enjoy having you as a partner for the rest of his life? You licked your lips as your thoughts wandered.

When he was finally ready, Natsuo took a step towards you, knocking you from your internal turmoil and having you stare straight into his grey eyes.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked you again, and like before, you didn’t answer him.

Reaching up, you brought him down for a kiss, but unlike before, the intentions were already known. The barriers and the restrictions between the two of you were gone, and you melted.

His hands gripped the back of your thighs while he took a confident stride forward, and you followed after him. Your lips were glued to his. Every divet, every line in his lips was smoothed out and memorized against yours. It made your head spin, this was your soulmate, he was yours.

Natsuo’s mouth dragged away from yours, moving downwards on your neck. His teeth bit and pulled at your sensitive skin until you were moaning his name. His hands were running up and down your curves, measuring them against him. A small gasp escaped your lips when your thigh rubbed against his clothed erection, and you shivered when his fingers traced the part of your skin where the thigh highs ended. Growling against your skin, Natsuo’s fingers pulled at the elastic and let it go. The fabric came back against your skin, and you whimpered loudly.

“Natsuo, don’t tease,” you muttered, your fingers pressing against the incredibly defined muscles that were hidden underneath his jacket. You wanted it off. But Natsuo didn’t seem to notice your needs, choosing to continue to press searing kisses against your neck.

“Address me by daddy,” he growled, his lips parting with your skin so that you could stare into his eyes. His gaze was ferocious, drowning, and near angry, but for some reason, it sent heat right to your core before he slammed his lips back against yours into a bruising kiss.

You could barely keep up with his moving lips, your eyes rolling to the back of your head when his hot tongue dragged against your lips.

Your hips weakly ground against his, and Natsuo met your needy hips until you were crying against his mouth, and his tongue invaded your mouth. Your fingers flew to his white hair, fisting the soft tendrils until he snarled. One moment you were on your feet and the next Natsuo’s hands cupped your ass and lifted you up.

Your legs wrapped around his waist, and you felt him walking towards your room.

Your tongue danced against his, your mind doing everything it could to not fall under his spell. To keep fighting, to make sure that this wasn’t going to be easy, no matter what he wanted to be called. Curling your tongue in his mouth, you could feel the shiver go down Natsuo’s spine, and you pulled your tongue back in your mouth.

“Where are you taking me, daddy?” you whisper against his lips, your hips now grinding down against the head of his hard boner. Delighting in the fact that his grip on your ass becomes bruising, your rolling hips don’t slow down.

“Wouldn’t you like to know, baby girl.”

A chill slammed down your spine at that nickname, and you bite down on his lower lip. His gaze met yours, his eyes flaring with an internal fire that only aided to the light between your thighs. Fuck, did you want this man.

The door opened and closed when Natsuo entered your room, and your tongue lapped at his lips.

His right hand left your ass, and you felt him fumble with the waistband of his joggers. You looked down to see his joggers and briefs fall, but had no time to admire the long and thick cock that sprung free from that restraint.

In what seemed like a perfect and fluid motion, Natsuo sat on your bed. He then shoved the panty of your teddy to the side.

“I don’t particularly like being teased, and last night was a lot,” he admitted, his fingers pressing between your already wet folds, and you cursed. Your hips ground against Natsuo’s fingers, and he grinned, seeing your reaction. “I think you deserved to be punished, don’t you think, baby girl?”

“No,” you breathlessly state, the feeling of his thick and cold fingers against your heated core formed goosebumps all over your body. “I think I’ve been perfectly well behaved, daddy.”

“I see we have a liar,” he chuckled, and before you could think of something to return with, his hands gripped your waist and sank you against his cock.

“FUCK!” you screamed at the feeling of his thick cock stretching you out in such a way that had your forehead slamming against his shoulder.

Your hips moved, trying to find a way to adjust to Natsuo’s girth that nearly sent tears to your eyes. You could feel the way his cock twitched within you, your tightness, and slick heat getting to him too while he whispered senseless praises into your ear. Your hips moved forward, both trying to relieve the pressure that demanded to be attended to and to bring the mindnumbing pleasure that your body begged for.

But Natsuo’s hands gripped onto your hips, keeping you against his girth. Your jaw dropped to complain, but his left hand lifted to press his fingers in your mouth, effectively silencing you. You gagged softly against his fingers, and you made a whining noise while his right arm wrapped around your waist.

His right fingers dug into your skin, most likely leaving behind purple bruises while his mouth trailed to your ears.

“You’ve been naughty, baby girl,” he sighed, his fingers pressed against your tongue, spreading out slowly when they traveled further back in your throat. Your breathing piqued, trying to remain calm while your throat attempted to constrict around his fingers. “Now, you’ll sit on my cock until I think you’re ready to be fucked.”

Your eyes fluttered when his fingers began to slide up and down your throat, your hips twitching in an attempt to get the friction you craved, and your inner walls ached around his softly throbbing cock. His finger curled in your throat, and your tongue lashed around his fingers, a desperate attempt to remain calm in this situation.

Forcibly, you clenched your inner walls around his cock, and he hissed out your name.

It felt like an eternity with his cock buried balls deep within you, your mouth trying to please Natsuo’s fingers while you resisted the urge to move.

“Daddy’s gonna fuck you now,” Natsuo muttered and you felt an incredible wave of joy shoot through you, you wanted him to fuck you until your eyes were rolling to the back of your head, drool pouring from your mouth, and his name the only word you could utter.

Suddenly you were on your back, and Natsuo’s cock was no longer in you, nor were his fingers. You shuffled onto your elbows, but Natsuo’s hands grabbed the hem of your shirt and tore it over your head. Your chest rose and fell with your approaching excitement, and Natsuo’s eyes took in the lace teddy that you wore. It blended in with your skin with such refinement that you took in pride at the way his fingers trailed against the fabric.

“Like what you see, daddy?” you ask in almost a whisper, and Natsuo’s snap up to look into your hooded ones.

“You’re so beautiful, baby girl. So perfect,” he agrees, his fingers dragging upwards, moving against your sensitive breasts, making your body arch up into his touch. The stimulation of his cold fingers against your nipples in such thin clothing, along with those sweet affirming words, sent sparks of electricity throughout your body.

His fingers hooked under the straps of the teddy, and soon it was pulled off your body, joining the t-shirt somewhere in the room. It’s removal left you with nothing but the thigh highs, and by the looks of it, he liked that.

You couldn’t find words to tease him with because his finger trailed against your inner thigh, and you trembled at his touch.

Natsuo smirked down at you, placing a soft kiss against your cheek before continuing to kiss along your jawline, to your neck, and then down your sternum. “Tell me, baby girl, what do you want?” Between every word, he trailed further down until his mouth was nibbling at the skin between your thighs, ignoring where you wanted and needed him most.

“I want you to fuck me,” you panted when Natsuo pinched one of your nipples, rolling the hardened skin as his teeth bit against your thighs, making your chest arch up into his touch, and made your legs tremble. Your pussy clenched desperately at his ministrations, your aching clit begging to be touched.

“Do you deserve to cum?” Natsuo pulled away from your thigh with a pop. His fingers trailed back down your stomach, grazing your labia, chuckling at the way your hips twitched against him.

Natsuo slipped two fingers into your cunt, keeping them still inside you as he maintained eye contact. He watched as you writhed beneath him, your hips snapping to relax against the fullness his fingers gave you. Slowly your movements began to feel good; your actions, to feel good, soon became a desperate attempt fuck yourself against his fingers. Slowly Natsuo began to thrust them in and out of your aching core ignoring your throbbing clit that you couldn’t muster the energy to touch.

“Please, daddy,” your hands found themselves holding onto his forearm, fiercely trying to get him to do more with his fingers. “Fuck me good.”

Growling lowly, Natsuo arched his two fingers towards puffy inner walls, pressing down against it, and he watched your face contort in pleasure as a low whine left your lips. Natsuo grinned when he saw the way your eyes clenched closed, musical moans pouring from your lips when his fingertips brushed against your g-spot. Your jaw dropped, your hips taking over his finger fucking so that you were fucking yourself on his fingers. The clenching of your walls grew more and more, your toes curling with the impending orgasm approaching you, the build-up overwhelming.

“So needy, baby girl,” Natsuo suddenly removed his fingers from your heat, your whines and desperate cries ignored while you bucked your hips up towards him, desperate for a release. You watched as Natsuo examined your slick essence on his fingers before looking at you. “Suck it off the baby girl,” he said, putting his fingers between your mouth, and without a second thought, your mind is broken from the denied orgasm you opened your mouth and sucked your sweet essence from them as you writhed beneath him. The taste of yourself on your tongue drove you almost insane; you liked the taste intermingled with the taste of him. What would you have to do to get a taste of his cum with yours? “You’re not allowed to cum until I say you can, baby girl.”

Your mouth loosed against his fingers, and you whined at his instruction. Natsuo only shoved his fingers further down your throat and roughly fisted his cock, using his hand to glide it along your slit, gathering your juices along the tip with a low groan. He pressed the head inside your tight cunt, watching as your body reacted to the sensation. Your hips pushing forward, trying to get him to go deeper. Natsuo chuckled while he rubbed his cock along your slit again, teasing you, not giving you what you craved most.

“Tell me what you want me to do, baby girl,” Natuso mockingly asked, knowing exactly what you wanted. His fingers removed from your mouth, and you gasped with the needed breath, and when you were ready, you spoke.

“Fuck me, daddy, I need you to—” Natsuo’s fingers pressed against your clit, making you shrill in pleasure.

“Such naughty words,” Natsuo ran his fingertip over your clit, smirking when your tongue came out in a pathetic pant, trying to control your desperate and needy breathing. The action made Natsuo groan, immediately imagining how that would feel on other parts of his body. His restraint wavering when he pulled back, steadying himself between your legs before he slammed into your aching pussy without warning. The sensation of feeling completely full after being denied sent you soaring towards your release.

“Such a good girl,” Natsuo pressed a sloppy kiss to your lips, thrusting into your pussy as he watched your mouth fall open in pleasure. A constant slew of gibberish leaving your lips as you became lightheaded from the desire, and your arms wrapped around his shoulders to bring him closer. Natsuo’s cock fit inside you perfectly, the prominent veins on his length brushing against your inner walls were now moving, no longer stagnant, and only added to your pleasure. The tight feeling in the core of your stomach began to overwhelm you, the tip of his cock consistently pounding against your sweet spot, your climax threatening to wash over you. “Do you know how fucking gorgeous you are? These thigh highs are fucking driving me crazy… so pretty, so beautiful against your skin. It’s like you dressed this way on purpose, trying to get me to fuck you like you deserve to be fucked.

You whimpered while you shifted your arms around Natsuo’s neck, pulling his body flush against your own as he continued to rut into your tight heat. The angle at which his snapping hips were drilling into you had his pelvis rub against your clit, your legs tightening around his hips as his cock rubbed against your inner walls. You cried out his name, your clit throbbing at the sensation, your body stiffening as he moved faster.

“Who do you think you’re addressing?” Before you could attempt to respond, Natsuo’s right-hand leaves your hip and slams to your throat, choking the response from you. “I want to hear you correct your answer.”

His hand remains heavy and tight around your throat, his hold barely allowing oxygen to travel through to your lungs. Your vision fuzzed, and you could feel your heartbeat in your head, but your core shook with Natsuo’s now reciprocating and rhythmic slams.

“Y-You are, daddy,” you moan loudly, your thighs trembling with the feeling of his fingers around your throat.

Choking and clit stimulation with his cock pounding into your cervix, Natsuo chuckled into your skin. His thrusting hips were becoming more precise, angling into you in a way that made you audibly choke when you needed to gasp. Maybe it was the lack of oxygen to your body that was making you delirious, or perhaps it was the fact that he was slamming into you with the strength of rearranging your guts, but your hips began to swivel at an inhumane pace. Your cunt held a vice grip around his cock, yet it did nothing to slow Natsuo down, but the growing heated pit in your lower belly was making your legs tremble against his. Still, you tried to keep up with his rough and cruel pace, and Natsuo enjoyed knowing that detail.

“You’re fucking beautiful, baby girl. Your pretty little pussy is so fucking tight, I bet you’ve been saving yourself for me? Such a good girl, taking my cock like this, you’re fucking amazing.” He praises, his teeth biting down against your bottom lip. Your breathless moans slipping past your lips. “You enjoy being choked, baby girl?”

Your head nods, “Y-Yes, daddy!”

“Do you need to cum? Maybe I’ll allow it, your pussy has been so good.”

His hand against your throat tightened, and black dots littered your vision. His teeth sunk far into your skin, enough for you to feel your skin breaking as his tongue moving in cold strokes to calm your now throbbing skin. Then there were his nimble left fingers running against your clit and pressed delicate circles in time with his hammering and throbbing cock. But your swiveling hips held no value anymore, Natsuo’s hips snapped upwards fast enough and powerful enough to overcome and overwhelm you. The only thing you could tell was that along with the tip of his cock hitting your bruising walls, the sounds of your sopping wet pussy crashing against his forceful hips frantically rang in your ears.

Your bodies moved together entirely, his thrusts pushing you back further into the bed as he followed your movements. The bed frame hitting the wall with every harsh thrust, and your mattress springs creaking heavy in your ears. The noise of the headboard slamming against the wall was almost as loud as your moans of pleasure as your fingernails ripped into Natsuo’s shoulders, calling out his name in a mantra.

“I need to cum, daddy. P-please, let me cum—” Natsuo could feel your body shaking underneath him as your orgasm was so close after being built up and denied.

“Cum for me, y/n.” Natsuo groaned as your inner walls clenched around his length at his vulgar words, “cum all over my cock.”

Your eyes clamped closed, almost in synch. Your head nods, the heated pressure in your belly scorching. Your walls clamp down against his hammering cock, but it doesn’t slow him down, only encouraging him to increase his speed and strength until the bed shuddered against your weight. The sopping noises of your meeting sex filled your ears, and you moaned loudly, your teeth biting down onto your lip.

It takes his cock brushing against your g-spot for your legs to slam outwards, your arms nearly succeeding in choking Natsuo as you try sitting up as your orgasm slams through you.

“Fuck, fuck, FUCK!” You scream hoarsely. Your scream only increases in great thrill when you feel Natsuo’s cock twitching unrestrainedly within you. But Natsuo ignores his own near, his hips continuing to drill into you, his hand clamping tighter against your neck, cutting off your voice.

Natsuo isn’t done yet, not yet.

His hands move to grip the exposed back of your thighs, his grip bruising your supple skin. He slams into you faster, his cock continuing unaffected by your convulsing walls. There are no other noises except your wet cunt meeting his cock, your muffled shrieks of approval, and Natsuo’s heavy breathing as he continues to drive into you. Your convulsing walls body only making Natsuo stammer and curse loudly.

His lips find yours, and there is nothing to say, the kiss is messy, saliva coating your lips like lipstick. Spit filled kisses were exchanged between the two of you without care, while he chases his orgasm. His intense pace continues, your name growled from your throat, until one last thrust and one final clamp from your cunt sends him over.

Natsuo soon collapsed on top of you, his typically colder body burning with an almost feverish heat while his fingers traced against the frill of your thigh highs.

“That was something,” you mumble into his ear, and Natsuo snorts softly, his head nodding in agreement.

“I didn’t hurt you, did I?” he whispered, pushing off your body; his eyes examined your raw body.

“Nah,” you disagreed with a smile, your fingers brushing through the bangs of his hair. “If you did, I liked it.”

“Masochist,” he teased, his lips pressing against yours in a soft and tender kiss.

“I just might be, and if I am?”

“Then I think we’ll get along just fine, baby girl.”

“Okay, daddy.”

Soulmates weren’t perfect; you knew that more than anyone! But, while you lay there with his head against your chest. Hours after the two of you had cleaned up and gone for a few more rounds, you realized that this was what you wanted. You and your soulmate. That’s all that mattered when you were together, and things worked out.

#todoroki natsuo #todoroki natsuo x reader #natsuo x reader #natsuo smut #todoroki x reader #todoroki smut #bnha #bnha x reader #mha #mha x reader

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binunus · 3 years

Text

college bf!mj

a/n AH !!!! THE ANNOUNCEMENT OF THE ASTRO COMEBACK ???? APRIL 5TH ??? WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE LOVES !! i genuinely...do not know if I will be able to survive this month bc of them.

(also i tried to get this posted on mj’s birthday but I’m so sorry a lot of shit happened and I had a ~bad mental breakdown~ and it’s just been rough out here but that’s a story for another time if any of you lovely beings wanna know hehe)

→ genre: fluff, smut

→ tw: mentions of cheating (in past relationships)

→ word count: 4.9k ____________________________________

KIM MYUNGJUN !!

A LIVING REINCARNATION OF THE SUN

this is gonna be so cute i just !! love him so much???

has his own apartment, but he honestly stays over all of the boys’ places so much that...he barely sleeps at his apt

major: vocal performance

his voice is literally honey

can probably sing higher than some sopranos in his major

so friendly, everyone who meets him loves him

mj just has a way of attracting people and making people comfortable around him

in short, he is – of course – the moodmaker

can turn anyone’s frown upside down

he’s down?? for like everything

an adventurous spontaneous type

has...probably failed a ged ed class once or twice before...

he’s not stupid okay! he just doesn’t really care about the classes that has no connection to his major

like will he ever apply calculus in singing? probably not

oh but professors can’t hate him, even if he just messes around during class

he’s just so kind and likeable

loves his boys aka astro

will literally do anything to make them smile, even if he’s had a rough day

as long as his boys are happy :’) he’s happy :’)

now how do you meet myungjun??

he’s in an acapella group on campus

he just has to be alright

he was the only freshman that got in during his first year

that shows how good he is :*

a tenor in the highly competitive co-ed group

spoiler alert, he convinces sanha to join, but that’s for college bf!sanha

myungjun is what me and my friends like to call: the solo whore

and it’s not bc he’s greedy for solos, he’s a real team player

his voice just happens to sound the best for most solos your group has??

you’re also in the acapella group

im not giving a voice part bc then that would put you in a binary category

so soprano, alto, tenor, baritone, bass, you pick love

anyway, you and myungjun were chosen to sing a duet for one of your competition pieces

and it was the key emotional piece so you and him had to be on your A games

you and myungjun were friends ofc, you had to be some sort of friends with everyone in your acapella group

but you never really hung out with him outside of rehearsal

well until you got this duet together

and you weren’t worried about it, mj was so fun and nice and an amazing singer, you had no doubt these extra practices with him would be a good time

and you were right! besides singing, you actually got a chance to get to know him and how goofy he really was

you’re pretty sure you always had an ab workout whenever you hung out with him bc of how much he made you laugh

about a month away from competition, you and myungjun were like best buds

literally a chaotic, iconic duo

the chemistry you two had during your duet was spectacular, your voices highlighted and bounced off each other very well

but! your leader had a little critique

“y/n, myungjun, that was great but...can you guys pretend to look...like in love? I get we’re all friends here, but if you can’t convey the emotion of the song in our performance, what’s the point? This goes for everyone, this is a song about how much you love your partner and would give them the world, we need to show that in our eyes and movements, even if you’re just singing ooh and woah for like 10 measures.”

you and myungjun decide to stay after rehearsal and practice the emotions you guess...

your leader had a point, good singing could only go so far

and for the first time, myunjun was a bit...? awkward??

you: alright so how are we gonna pretend to be madly in love with each other

he chuckles and shrugs: honestly I don’t know, look at me like I’m your boyfriend or something??

you: well, I hate my last boyfriend so that probably wouldn’t be a good idea

myungjun offering you a high-five: I hate...well I think I hate...my last partner too so at least we have that

you: how do you think you hate your last partner? are you not dating anyone right now?

he gives you a smile and like you notice it’s forced?? it’s not genuine or bright like the one he usually gives

mj: no I’m not dating anyone...my last relationship sorta traumatized me I guess.

you: ...how did it traumatize you...? you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to myungjun

mj: ah *awkward laughter* well...I was sorta going through it my senior year of high school, stress from graduating and what to do with my life and all that shit, you know? I dated this person since my freshman year and I guess my mental health got the best of me during that time and they couldn’t handle it. We were planning on staying together throughout college and do long distance but I found out in the summer before starting college that they fucked my high school best friend behind my back...when I confronted them about it, the answer they gave me was that I was too down and preoccupied with my worries to notice about my partner’s needs...pretty fucked up right?

your jaw dropped, your eyes were bulging out at his story

you: myungjun what the fuck??? what college do they go to? I’ll pull up right now and beat their asses, I don’t know scream in their face or something! That’s fucked!

he’s laughing a little: thanks y/n, but it’s alright. You know, maybe I was too caught up in my own problems that I ended up neglecting my partner’s needs...I guess that’s why I’m always just trying to be carefree and fun now.

you: that doesn’t justify the fact that what they did to you was wrong. you should have never gone through that myungjun, it’s not your fault that you were going through it mentally, your partner should have been there to support you and understand your struggles, not cheat on you with your best friend. ugh I’m pissed for you.

mj: I appreciate it y/n, but yeah love’s sorta a hard subject for me.

you nod in understanding

mj: well! that’s my traumatic breakup story, it’s only fair you share yours

you laugh: you’re right. Well I was dating this guy right when I entered college, met him at the freshman orientation, completely hit it off. I was so in love with him, we dated for about a year. And then last semester he broke up with me out of nowhere, said he wanted to focus on school and himself and that he needed a break from dating. I found out two days later that he started dating one of his suite mates and that on the night he broke up with me, they fucked. So love? also something hard for me.

mj: aww look at us both unable to find or relate to love because of past relationship traumas.

you hit his shoulder laughing: you’re such a headass

mj: I’m kidding! anyway, I’m sorry you went through that too y/n. it sucks and your ex is a dumbass for breaking up with you. Do you still have feelings for him? w-wait, you don’t have to answer that, was that insensitive?

you: you’re fine haha. Um...well...sometimes when I overthink things at night, I do miss him and I wonder what the hell I did wrong for it to end so abruptly because I was honestly really happy with him, but then I wake up in the morning and I hate him again.

mj: you did nothing wrong y/n...and if you need to call me at 2 am when you’re overthinking and need some badass confidence knocked into you, I will be awake.

you smile and give him a hug: thanks myungjun...you know the same goes for you too?

mj: hm??? what do you mean??

you: you don’t always have to smile around me, especially if you don’t feel like it. Don’t repress your mental health, huh? It’s bad for the soul to bottle it in. I’m not gonna force you to share your darkest fears with me, I’m just saying that if you feel drained and wanna talk about it, I’m here to listen

myungjun pouts a little bit, he’s really touched?? it’s hard for him to share his troubles with others

like as much as he loves astro and is close to them, he doesn’t share his down sides with the boys as often as he should bc he never wants to burden them

myungjun just always thought it was easier to suppress the bad feelings and put on a happy act

but he couldn’t deny the weight lifted off his shoulders after telling you about his breakup

and maybe it was because your energies were on a different level lately, but he found it so?? easy?? to just vent to you after that

until competition, the two of you worked on faking like you were in love (basically imagining that each other was your favorite actor/actress or whatever, something like that)

it was good enough for the group to believe it lol

but what about the judges and audience hmmmmm

anyway, fast forward and it’s competition day!!

myungjun introduces you to his best friends aka the boysss aka astro

they come and support him for his competition ugh we love

you’re like smiling and hyper when you meet them

...has myungjun been rubbing off on you???

you: it’s so nice to meet you all! myungun always talks so highly of you

astro: huh?? you’re lying, myungjun hyung complimenting us???

and then they start messing and friendly bickering with each other and yes they’re teasing mj

you’re laughing bc it’s so cute?? you can see in their eyes and their smiles how much they really care about each other :’)

also astro, probably jin or eunwoo, maybe rocky: we’re sorry if m hyung has driven you to insanity these past few months of rehearsing

you just laugh as myungjun hits them: myungjun’s actually been like my partner in crime lately, so we’re all good :)

*cue the boys exchanging looks with each other*

you perform ah ha ha

alright, you were so used to thinking that myungjun was...idk kim soohyun or something bc mm chef’s kiss his acting...to get into the emotion of the song

but then during the actual performance you saw him as myungjun and like all the hard work and extra practices and late night talks came in full force and you were just...singing to him

and you notice how...handsome?? and charismatic?? myungjun really is...and the little sparkle in his eyes when he’s performing like...wow

and after your set, you’re just like shit, what the fuck was that??

your group doesn’t win though, you place second!

but you and myungjun get awarded best solo/duet of the entire competition

astro: ;)

your acapella group: ;)

the judges: ;)

alright so im a firm believer that if myungjun had feelings for someone, he would straight up tell them like balls to the wall full fucking send

after competition, the routine of school comes back. you occasionally hang out with myungjun outside of rehearsal

by occasionally, I mean once a week hangout with myungjun (and astro bc they started inviting you to their dinners)

and then one night – at midnight – he calls you like out of pocket and his tone is like completely serious

you’re a bit scared?? like: myungjun...is everything okay? did something happen?

mj: y/n...can I ask you something?

you: yeah, of course

mj: do you still think about your ex?

you: o_o um...honestly no, not really...why?

mj: well, if I’m being honest. y/n, I have feelings for you. And i’m not asking you to like me back or give me an answer straight away, but I just wanted to let you know. If you don’t think about your ex anymore, and if you think you’re ready...maybe you can consider thinking of me??

mmmmm kim myungjun you slick flirty dog grrr bark bark

and you know how he can just talk, and talk fast, so you’re still in the middle of processing this and he just goes on like

“sleep on it, y/n. I’ll see you soon for rehearsal, okay? good night”

like you don’t even have a chance to respond to him bc he just hangs up the phone

you think about it, of course you think about it, you’ve been thinking about it ever since competition

having feelings for myungjun has always been in the back of your mind since then

like did you notice that when you hung out with him, your heart would flutter if he said something sweet?? or if you two were a bit too close to each other?? 100%

but you didn’t know if either of you were ready for another relationship so it’s just been put on the back burner

at the next acapella practice, you find that your cheeks just flush whenever myungjun looks your way

the rehearsal went a bit??? weird?? like even your group noticed that there was a bit of a tension between you and myungjun

but of course, he goes up and talks to you after rehearsal ended and he’s like: hey...I’m sorry if my confession made you feel weird, I didn’t mean for that at all. If you want, we can just forget about what I said and stay friends!

you just facepalm like: myungjun you idiot, I’m acting weird because I like you too. God, you know maybe the boys are right, maybe you need to shut your mouth for a little bit

and he whines like: hey!

but then he realizes what you said and he gives you the brightest smile: you mean it?? you like me back??

and you’re like shyly smiling now: yeah...I do...but do you want to take the next step?? I mean...do you think you’re ready for another relationship??

he gets like serious and he grabs your hand: not gonna lie, I don’t think I’ll ever be fully ready after my last one...but if there’s someone I wanna try it with, it’s you.

:’) kim !!! myung !!! jun !!!

dating myungjun?? the best thing ever

the cutest boy alive honestly

he has so much cute and goofy in him already with just friends and strangers

but with you, it’s increased tenfold

even you start to act cute and goofy after dating him

petnames?? bub and bubby

myungjun is not serious about a lot of things, but he is very serious about his feelings for you and your relationship

y’all take things at your own pace and he !! values !! consent !! even if it’s just like making out

he just doesn’t wanna mess things up with you :’)

the type of boyfriend to sing you to sleep ah !!! his voice is heaven alright

will be extra about pda in front of the guys to make them grossed out

and yes you get embarrassed, but myungjun’s too cute to scold

you get used to a lot of second-hand embarrassment dating him and being friends with the boys

but it’s just so endearing, you can’t even fight it

will swing your arms together when you’re out just walking

screams he’s so cute

you don’t really fight bc communicating with each other is one of the biggest things in your relationship

like if a disagreement or a situation comes up, you two are mature enough to talk it through and work things out bc you both already been knew what it’s like to be in a relationship that didn’t have full transparency

you do jokingly bicker about small things though (like think about how astro fights)

but he always ends fights by scooping you up in a hug and showering your face with kisses

loves kissing your nose

just imagine: you and myungjun cuddling and he just kisses your nose and you scrunch up your face and he just laughs and kisses you all over and you two end up giggling

will do anything to see a smile on your face, it’s the greatest sight to him

alright we been talking too much about how cute myungjun is

he’s also a hot motherfucker alright

the most attractive when he’s singing in your opinion

you know how charismatic he is, you’ve seen it first hand during rehearsal and performances

he’s very good at hiding his horniness, especially in public

but phew when you two are in private and myungjun’s in the mood

you can tell bc his eyes just get hazy and he immediately just starts kissing your neck

a very passionate lover, will prioritize your pleasure over his

sex with myungjun can go from being sweet and sensual, to fun and playful, to hot and exciting

by that...I mean that he is down to try every kink and position you can think of

as long as both of you are okay with it ofc

he’s one of the kinkiest members in astro im convinced

blindfolds? bondage? ice cubes? wax play?

you want it? you got it

he’s not into feet though, i apologize to my foot fetish lovers

his favorite position is actually missionary

myungjun loves being able to watch you and to see how good he’s making you feel

in missionary is when he feels the most connected to you, it’s just a passionate position

and yes he’s very vocal, so you betcha he encourages you to be vocal as well

will try to mess with you in a sense where say you two are hanging out with the guys, he’ll touch you and challenge you to not make a noise

and then he’ll snicker and wink at you if you even let out a peep

he’s a tease !!! like will edge you until you’re on the brink of cumming at least 3 times

myungjun has pretty good stroke game alright

very fluid with his hips, idk he just knows all the right spots to hit

praise...kink...that’s the tweet, need I say more

he’s into hair pulling !! both ways !!

okay hear me out...myungjun fucking you and pulling your hair until your screaming and then after you both cum, he’s like: you hit a high f earlier bub! I almost wanted to harmonize with you but–

you: myungjun are you serious!

sex with him would always just be a fun time, like he’s hot and grrr it feels so good but there’s always a bit of laughing and joking around in the process

like he will tickle you before he puts his cock in you just to see the switch of you laughing to moaning

alright but shower sex?? he’s into that

and just the acoustics of both of your sounds in the bathroom?? it’s so filthy he loves it – and it’s easy to clean up afterwards

you bet that after any performance with your group, the two of you have sex, even if it’s just a quickie in an empty practice room or whatever

no shame, will kick the boys out or announce “we’re going to fuck bye!” if you or him get too horny in the middle of a hangout

im just gonna throw this out here...you and myungjun...mile high club

(your group competed in an acapella competition and the flight there...it just happened)

all in all, myungjun just wants to make you happy and feel good and smile, even if you two just finished an intense sex session

let’s get into the deep stuff though, you are the only person myungjun is comfortable with to not show a smile all the time

even with the boys, there’s always a small part of him that wants to just push through and be optimistic just so that they won’t worry

but with you, he knows that it’s okay to be sad and to be vulnerable :’)

when myungjun cries bc he’s upset :( fuck you cry too

he loves when you just hug him and stroke his hair when he’s stressed

very showy about your relationship, not bc he’s braggy, but bc he just wants to show the world how happy you make him and that he’s in love <3

the boys are so happy to see their eldest in love :’)

they don’t show it around each other, but they’ve come up to you in private and say sweet things like

“you make myungjun hyung so happy, he always brings joy to everyone but you bring joy to him, thank you”

im !! getting !! sentimental !!

the day you found out myungjun was in love with you was the day you met his parents

‘twas a bit spontaneous

his parents came to see one of your group performances and myungjun’s like holding your hand and leading you somewhere after you get off stage and he’s like “bub! these are my parents!”

you end up getting dinner with his family and yikes you were hella nervous, you were not expecting on meeting his parents right after your performance

not gonna lie, you thought he was leading you to the car for some post-performance sex

but they adored you, his parents could see how much you meant to their son ugh I cry

anyway, the L word

as you’re finishing dinner, myungjun’s all giddy and just like

“I’m so glad you came and watched mom and dad, the timing was perfect too! I wanted to introduce you to y/n for a while now and have you meet the person I love.”

and his parents are just smiling at you and saying how they’re so happy to finally meet you and how you have an amazing voice and to take care of myungjun and you’re !!! just !!! blushing !!!

as soon as you both got in the car after saying goodbye to his parents, he’s just like: hope I didn’t surprise you too much bubby, I didn’t know my parents were coming to watch until like an hour before we went on stage

you just give him a little smile: I was a bit caught off guard, but it’s okay. Your parents are so sweet, I see where you get it from bub.

myungjun: I can tell that they love you already! well of course not as much as I do, but with time I know they’ll come pretty close

and you’re blushing again, it’s the L word: do you mean it myungjun?

myungjun: that my parents love you?? of course–

you: no, bub...that you...love me?

myungjun: yeah...unless you don’t feel the same way–

you: myungjun! no, of course I do! I just wasn’t expecting the first time to hear it was with your parents

you two are laughing, ugh this man

after your giggles subside, he leans over from the driver’s seat and he just cups your cheek and pecks your nose: I love you y/n, thank you for reminding me what love feels like

you: I love you too myungjun

and then you two are just like sharing a sweet kiss in the parking lot of the restaurant before starting the drive back to his place

do you and myungjun make duets together for fun and post it?? yeah probably

you are the luckiest dating myungjun, the living breathing embodiment of serotonin and love

even when you two are older and out of college, he still gives you the same affection and attention and authenticity ugh he’s just amazing

im so sorry this was late but happy belated to our happy virus <3

3-12-21

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memory-hoarder · 3 years

Text

WARNING (LONG POST AHEAD)

I turn off the lights, scrolled my phone and clicked the Spotify app currently listening to (calming acoustic) 10: 05 PM, best time to unleashed all emotions that piled up from nowhere. I covered myself with a huge blanket and placed the laptop on my lap and decided to visit my page. I know, I'm being inactive lately but I'm doing my best to update my journal publicly to remind me of my long absences.

Tonight, I decided to post the questions I received a night before my birthday celebrated. I kept this on my file for a month now. Admittedly, this is the huge decision I made on my birthday. So, I asked a random people on my messenger lists - some are my work colleagues while others are acquaintances. At first, I am hesitant to ask for favor to anyone but I did. Well, I guess it was successful though I received different reactions - some confused and thought I was making fun while others are game on to sent their questions. Obviously, it took days for me to answered cos it turns out that I wasn't prepared myself for few questions that somehow affects me literally.

The twist here is I am not allow to send my answer to their questions. However, I can answer it through this journal. Which I described as bravery.

Here are some of the questions:

How’s Life? How’s Life?

A question that been asked me twice. Well, this year was the great sadness of my life that challenged me mentally, emotionally and drained me physically. Sometimes a mere struggle on financially. I’m doing fine but lots of times I seriously breaking down especially the trauma of what happened 8 months ago. But today, I accepted the fact and slowly healing me and appreciate what really God’s intention and plan for my life.

Are you happy right now?

Not sure how to put it into words but there is no reason not to be happy. Right? If you just appreciate the life you are living right now or even the smallest thing that makes you smile or giggle I guess there is no reason to be sad at all. Although, lots of times I felt happy, sad, angry or lost. But there are still lots of reasons to celebrate or be joyful too. I juts let myself felt all the emotions that life wanted me to experienced to remind me that I indeed exist. There are people who could bring me joy and sadness at the same time but all I know they are all part of my journey.

Have you ever missed me before we lost our communication? Do you consider me as true friend?

Of course, I do. I miss the old you the person who I genuinely treasured during my college days. And, you are one of the reasons why I indeed survived college. I just don’t understand why we both let this friendship died. Was it because we no longer catch up? But, how I hope building friendship again will no longer hard as I imagined. But, please know that you became part of my story. I always count on you whenever I am sad and confused. I feel comfortable sharing my thoughts because I know you will never judge me. Hope to see you again soon. Take care of yourself!

Why there are times you don’t have the mood to talk?

Because, I read my surroundings and I feel comfortable being alone not to isolate but to process my own thoughts with myself which my normal thing growing up and I choose this way - became aloof at times not wanted to talk to anyone or go out. It makes me sad to think only few understand my personality. However, I can't just normalize this because of extrovert people I knew. I don’t have mood to talk and I push away people closed to me because I find a happy place being alone. Its not sad or dark what it gives me is peace of mind that no on can offer.

Would you like to change your past or stay on your present path? Why and why not?

I believed majority will choose the past, we all wanted to change one thing that we regret of doing - apologies, goodbye's, places to travel, opportunities we must have and other important things we slip away that is why I choose the past over my present. One thing I am eager to experience all over again is my mom's precious life, only if I had the power to bring her back. I was just 16 years old when she died, and I think the years of her being a mother to us will never be enough. However, her life is a blessing and all the valuable teachings that she imparted on me and to my siblings will remain on us forever. How I wish for her to at least see as growing up especially my brother that she spoiled a lot, and for us to give back all the things she deserved. I imagined date her on a restaurant, buy her clothes, treat her to the salon or accompany her on the grocery store. I also wanted to visit the past to catch up with my high school friends – Mira and Jeno, I will never forget how they literally brings me deep joy and the reason I am early bird during junior high because of the dare. I just missed the sound of Jeno's sense of humor, I treated her more than a friend rather a sister and it broke me when I received the news that he's gone. I was not there for him nor visit his and mom's grave for years now. I wanted to comfort Mira, but I am too far away and impossible to have my own money for my flight expenses. What I did is to cried and prayed for his soul. All of the good memories flashed back once more yet I realized God might took away two beautiful souls in my life but I am confident they watching over and guiding me through life.

I am or was curious regarding James situation, did it ever cross your mind you regret James being your boyfriend?

In all of the questions I received this one hits me hard to the core. For everyone’s knowledge James and I are in a relationship for over 4 years now. Just like other couples we did fight over little things yet we matured and grow together. One thing I really loved about James Charlie is how kind and pure his heart. He helps people as long as he can even himself are struggling to live. Not to mention his over confidence that I am jealous of. I guess, because of how friendly and inviting his amour. Also, a talented one he knows how to dance, sing and imitate different kinds of sounds, He’s grammar and vocabulary are lit. He can also play guitar very well, draw portrait’s and even writing a poems. He knew, he won my heart through his creative abilities. I was also surprised how he interested over history of aliens, bermuda triangle, mermaids and what I consistently heard of the Pyramid of Giza, life documentaries and other related history of it. I find him sexy whenever he talked about some of it. Our age gap is never an issue on our relationship and I am lucky that he guided me on everything, considered my opinions or thoughts and when I freaked out badly which occasionally happened he handle me perfectly and I appreciated his temperament level during my anxiety attacks or whenever I choose to isolate myself him being shut off. He understood me in my own terms and be myself. Yet relationship will test your loved from one another, there were also things that I don’t like of him doing however James does listened to me. He listens to advises either coming from me or from other people that cared for him. He is a vocal person, that one thing that I fall for him is his sense of humor. I guess talkative and being clingy towards person is his nature especially growing up in a broken family. Consistent communication is a key. I remembered he told me that I was different to all the girls she dated on his past life. That I am out of his league, he doesn’t know that he is of out my league too but when I know him deeply he taught me lessons in life and felt his warm love. Over the course of our relationship he respect the limitless of our love language and he accepted and understood the love without intimacy is a different level of love and respect and from his perspective I wanted everyone to know that James has a huge respect towards me, my beliefs and reasons. How someone could wait for something that he can easily took away something on his past relationship. Our relationship is somehow changed us individually into a better person. Getting older, he became dreamer and goal oriented. I witnessed all his hard work, that he celebrated through silence. He wanted to build home and think of small business that will be our retirement in the future. How many kids we wanted or how many dogs we will going to breed. I guess, some people misunderstood James for so long, how miserable life that no one to talk and curse during your victories or failures? Friends and addiction in alcohol and other stuff are his way of escaped, escape from the reality that lead him to take his own precious life once. I know how difficult life for him way back on his early 20’s that he fought all his battle alone and how he overcome his depression and addiction without someone to lean on. And nowadays, everything makes sense to me that I realize being independent sometimes is not a choice but more on a decision. decision and accepting no one will guide you through your journey so you have to do it alone either it brings you sadness or happiness in a process, not to count living alone and make money all by yourself. I agreed he might do bad decision in life but that doesn’t mean his life has no purpose at all. Instead, God is confident that he will win this battle not for everyone, not for the sake of me or our relationship but for himself. As for our current situation, I know being with him and fight through the end will inspired him a lot. Yes, he currently working on his self and will prove to everyone when the time comes that he will be able to regain his new

life and continue living.

We introverts, tend to think a lot, like really overthink a lot. What do you mostly overthink and how deep? Deep, like does it leads you to think more negatively resulting to depression? (mild depression, maybe).

I overthink some scenarios on my head when it really affects my whole being and when every time I think of it, obviously it trigger my anxiety not depression I guess. I can recall one or two hard situations that happened to me, and I know it wasn’t me trying to act that way. I even punished myself and literally breakdown trying to hurt myself, call me freak or whatever cos now I asked myself too how I even allowed myself to did terrible things, because anxiety creeping on me and telling me to do it. But, mostly I think of is my future and myself – deep that it scared me a lot. I have lot of questions of this world that I keep on searching by myself until now.

Why it took for you to share your problems?

Honestly, when I’m having a serious problem I am not confident to share to anybody except to my family who already knew. It took too long because advises no longer work for me, I listened because it was normal people do – advise and advise. Maybe, it was me who are picky to share my problem with, sometimes people listened but never in heart. Not all people deserve to know your struggle and during your lowest times, I have my own terms of coping so you do.

How do you maintain your petite body? If you had three wishes, what would you wish for?

Wow! I never see this coming. Well, I guess being fit is what I inherited on my father's side. They not so fat unlike on my mother's side. I have no limit on foods I intake in other words not your discipline person to look up to. I do eat carbs, junk foods and sodas is always on my list. I never worried if I am physically fit aside from walking Maxine during days off. I don't know how do I maintain this body I guess I'm never. Being fit actually is my insecurity. However, I do loved my body whatever what happen.

Well, if I had 3 wishes in life - first, to end this pandemic so that everything will back to normal. second, for James to have peace of mind and good health while waiting for the process of his case. And, lastly, for me to be strong, lasting patience and strong faith.

How would you solve your problems?

Problems is always part of lives. But, I believed it is always about the degree of the problem. Whenever, I had problem sometimes I resolved it in time but other times I need more time and space to think what will be the resort of it. And, pray for some guidance.

As independent being, how do you handle depression and anxiety?

Good thing to end all of this questions, I became independent when I graduated from college. I have to commute 131 kilometers back and forth from another city just to apply on my first job and the process is never easy at all. When you sent all of your applications form on each companies but never accepted It brought so much sadness, one point of my life I am eager to seek job because I used it as my coping mechanism to walked away from home which I did now, I walked away to protect my peace of mind especially having anxiety growing up and having this thing is hard as people imagined. You might only see darkness and feel of losing but for me, I guess for a year now I handled myself perfectly I never allow this condition to swallow me whole and affect my way of living. I reminded myself to keep strong and remain optimist and always protect my peace of mind at all cost.

I am 24 now strong and happy and leaving Haruki Murakami quote: "And once the storm is over, you won't remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won't even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won't be the same person who walked in. That's what storms all about"

#self love #journaling #birthday #24 years old

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dalamjisung · 5 years

Text

the picture worth a thousand words ❊ kim seungmin

genre: fluff

word count: 3902

pairing: reader x kim seungmin

description: people say a picture can be worth a thousand words, but you are a writer and that ain’t flying with you. Until you met him; photographer Kim Seungmin.

There was nothing particularly wrong with you. At least not that you knew; but you still felt like there was something missing. Every night, before going to bed and after doing your usual n nightly routine, you’d sit down on your bed, and think. You have a great job. You graduated from a good university. You have amazing friends. You have a beautiful house. But why did you feel like there was no reason in celebrating all that? Why did you feel so alone? You wanted to share all of that with someone; to wake up in your apartment to the sight of made breakfast and the love of your life in an apron, laughing the kind of laugh that would make happiness bubble in your stomach. You wanted someone to pick you up at your job so they could take you to an impromptu date, or someone who you could talk about the good old day of college. Being alone was fun, but just for a little while. You were older now, and you missed that companionship that all your friends seemed to have.

No, you would alway chastise yourself. You don’t need a man to be happy. And you really didn’t; you knew you were thankful for all you had, for all you achieved. You could easily be happy on your own, but you didn’t really want to. And that made all the difference.

Sighing, you gave up on yet another sleepless night. The night left as quick as the morning came and it was time for you to clock in to work. As you ran to the office, you couldn’t help but feel your stomach growling, complaining about not receiving any breakfast.

“I’ll eat after the meeting,” You promised yourself, hoping your body would somehow understand and behave during your presentation.

You worked in a magazine, writing for the arts and culture section, and this meeting would decide on a very important pitch you had been pushing forward for a while; a personal interview with the up and coming photographer, Kim Seungmin. You were a great admirer of his early work, loving the simple way that texture and color mixed in his pictures, managing to really evoke some feeling in you– some feeling you couldn’t quite name it, just feel it. This interview could change your career, as well as his, and you truly believed it could benefit both of you. You were tired of having to always write about the same things and the same people; it was time to write about things that were truly new, truly inspiring. You deserved this, and so did many other people.

“Good morning,” You say, smiling as you walk into the meeting room where your boss, supervisor, and assistant sat. “Shall we begin?”

They all nod, smiling too. Your company was incredible like that; it was casual, with spaces where you could work with your colleagues without the pressure of deadlines. They re-enforced that friendships in the working space optimized the workload in half, and that colorful and open spaces made the workers more engaged, instead of separating people in cubicles. You had your own table, but there was no wall separating you from your peers. Everyone smiled. Everyone truly enjoyed what they did. This was your dream job, and if could simply convince these three people that it was time for a content upgrade, you’d be on cloud nine. You could feel it; it would change your life.

“And that it why,” You say, concluding the presentation with a couple of Kim Seungmin’s pictures from his last exhibit. “I believe we need this change. It is not only a chance to connect with a younger audience, but to also introduce a new artist to our older public. We can widen our publication to encompass more than a select number of people; we can get bigger and better, while staying true to our morals and still conveying informative and captivating content.”

They all nod, looking at each other, and your boss gets up. “That’s why we hired you, isn’t it, Y/N? That crazy mind of yours is one of your best. Go ahead; we’re giving you as much time as you need. I believe this project will work out really well for everyone.”

“Thank you, ma’am,” You say, smiling wide and trying to contain your excitement.

“Ma’am my ass,” She laughs. “Back in the days you’d refer to me as senior sister…”

You laugh with her. Your boss wasn’t that much older, but actually very close in age to you. She had been the senior responsible for you during your orientation and freshman year, and as soon as she heard you graduated, she offered you a job. You started low; just an unpaid intern, and in the passing two years since the, you managed to climb your way up to payed columnist. You were proud of you and of her.

“You got it, didn’t you?” Your friend, Lisa, asks as you sat on your table. She was a reviewer for the magazine, enjoying the life of testing out new products for the magazine. She called ‘pampering herself while getting paid.’ “I can see it on your face, you did. Wow! Congratulations!”

“I’m so happy,” You squeal, looking at your friend laughing at you. “This will be great!”

“You finally get to meet your idol,” Lisa jokes and you throw a pen at her.

“I simply admire his job,” You say, squinting your eyes. “That’s why I insisted on this pitch so hard.”

“Pff, sure,” Lisa rolls her eyes. “Let’s not focus on the fact that he is drop dead gorgeous.”

“Oh my gosh Lisa,” You mumble, facepalming yourself. “He is not a product to be tested.”

“You never know,” She says winking. “Maybe he is interested.”

“Don’t you dare hit on my assignment!” You gasp, laughing.

“I would never!” Lisa says, and you two are almost rolling on the floor at this point.

You knew she’d never hit on Kim Seungmin (unless he started it, of course.) She always joked like that, complaining about how her job never introduced her to hot people like yours did. It’s not fair, she’d whine playfully. You’ve met all of my favorite idols! Kim Namjoon, Ahn Hyoseop, Jackson Wang! Should I keep going? You’d shrug and chuckle. Sure, it was really cool talking to all of those people, their stories were simple incredible, but you knew about the restrictions placed on them through their companies. You knew the reservations they had, and that half of the information was just generalized answers to questions they weren’t allowed to answer. This is why you were so interested in Kim Seungmin; he wasn’t represented by an entertainment agency nor was he under any contract– he was an independent artist.

You had a response to your initial email right as you came back from lunch.

Dear Ms. Y/N Y/L/N,

Thank you so much for contacting me. I’d love to help you with whatever you might need. However, I am in the middle of photographing for my new exhibit, so I’m afraid I won’t have time to sit down properly and answer all your questions. If you don’t mind me suggesting, you could tag along for a few days to experience my day to day life first hand, and ask your questions as well.

I hope to hear from you soon,

Kim Seungmin.

“Holy shit!” You gasp. This was much better than you expected. You’d be lying if you said that the thought of asking to accompany him on his daily routine as he photographs didn’t cross your mind, but you refrained yourself from pushing too hard, very aware that some artists are not enthusiastic of sharing their muses and inspirations with others.

“What?” Lisa runs to your table, leaning on the back of your chair and reading the email carefully. “Holy shit!”

You both start brainstorming for quick and efficient questions, skipping the obvious ones and going straight for the ones that dwelled deeper into his work and exhibitions. This had potential to be your best work so far, and you could feel it. Once you both came up with a list of about thirty questions, it was almost the end of the day.

“I’ll get going,” Lisa said waving. “Don’t stay here too late!”

“I’ll just answer some emails and leave,” You smile. “See you tomorrow!”

Cracking your fingers, you tried to control your emotions.

Dear Kim Seungmin,

Thank you for your quick response and for the great suggestion. I’d love to tag along, if it won’t be a problem for you!

When would it be a good time to start?

All the best,

Y/N Y/L/N.

You were about to close your laptop when a new email came in.

Dear Ms. Y/N Y/L/N,

I’m starting to photograph for a series tomorrow! If you’d like, we could meet at 10AM at the coffee shop right by the corner of Main Street?

Let me know!

Kim Seungmin.

You smiled.

Perfect! See you then.

————————

Waking up was not hard simply because once again you didn’t sleep. Getting out of bed, though, was incredibly difficult. You were super excited, but once again your body felt like it had no energy, the two hours you seemed to have managed a light sleep not serving for much. When you finished getting dressed, you notice you barely had time to make it to the coffee shop, so unfortunately, no breakfast would be possible.

You run all the way there, cursing your laziness that led you to be this out of shape. Getting inside the shop, you sigh, looking to the sides while putting your hair up in a ponytail. It’s then that you hear a sharp, dry snap! Your head whips to your right and you finally find him, with his camera pointing at the coffee mug. Kim Seungmin. The tip of his tongue is showing through his teeth as he absentmindedly looked at his pictures.

“Hi,” You say gently as you approached him. His eyes, sparkling and large, look at you and he blushes intensely, gulping down. “Kim Seungmin, right?”

“Y-Yeah,” He stutters a bit, and you chuckle. “Look, abou-“

“I’m Y/N Y/L/N,” You clarify, not wanting him to think you were a fan bothering him on his free time. “We emailed yesterday?”

“You’re Y/N???” He gasps, putting his camera down and offering you his hand. “I didn’t expect you to be so… young.”

You laugh at that. “It’s fine, I didn’t really expect you to know what I looked like.”

“Yeah,” He laughs. “Sorry about that. Do you want anything to eat? I went ahead and ordered coffee…”

“Oh,” Your stomach grumbles. “I’d love that actually. Do we have time?”

He shrugs. “I don’t really have a time table to follow, so sure.”

You guys start talking about yourselves, and you do what you always do; you try to establish a connection to you interviewee so that they feel more comfortable talking to you, and that means also talking about yourself, in the most superficial level possible. This time, though, was different. You felt as if not only you were doing that, but him too. He asked questions about you and your life, and he seemed genuinely interested in what you told him. You felt really comfortable with him, and you were excited for the rest of the day.

“Are you done?” He asks, with a small smile. You nod and you two leave, walking side by side.

With your eyes on him, you noticed his stance; camera in hands, always at chest level, ready to snap pictures at the slightness movement that caught his eyes. In between, while you guys walked around the city, you asked some of your prepared questions.

“What is this series about?” You ask, notebook in hand. “If you don’t mind me asking, of course…”

He chuckles. “The mundane life,” He says looking around, eyes laying on you, hair up, looking down at your notebook. Snap. You look up and he is staring at the children ahead. “I want to portray the beauty that people ignore everyday. It’s a new theme even for me, I don’t know if you are familiar with my past work but-“

“I am,” You say, smiling wide. “I love your pictures, really. They were one of the few I’ve seen that actually talked to me.”

And you could’ve melted at his smile. “Thanks!”

He keeps talking about his work and you guys walk, and you kept hearing snap! snap! snap! but it always seemed to be when you were writing. You were a little upset that because you had to do your job, you couldn’t watch him do his, but you were sure you’d see those pictures later.

“What I’m looking for,” He said as you two sat down on yet another coffee shop, now with the sun already gone. and a sandwich instead of breakfast in front of you. “Is for that one picture, yeah? The one that people always talk about– the one worth a thousand words. And I think I’m on the right path to find it.”

You’d definitely quote him on that one.

For three days, both of you followed a routine; meet at the coffee shop at 10AM, walk around a different neighborhood each time, have lunch, walk some more, and then talk a little more over dinner, although dinner time was reserved for you two to bond as friends and not work assignments. You grew to enjoy his company, in these past days, and enjoy your dinners even more. You found out he is a fan of Day6 and that he sometimes can look like a puppy when he smiles. You learn that he has an older sister and that being a photographer was always his dream. But Seungmin also learned new things; he got to know who much of fan you were when you accidentally mentioned on of his first famous pictures. He found out that you are allergic to cats but that you still adore them, although your dream is to one day raise a Corgi named Moose.

As you talked, you barely noticed his hands on his phone, stealthily snapping away. You were simply too into your memories of when you would write people’s essays in college for a small fee that you barely noticed him doing his thing. Actually, this was one of the things he loved to found out the most; how immersed on an assignment you could get, that you would barely notice the world around you still spinning. Or him taking pictures of you.

It was now the last dinner; your week over. This had been the best week of the past few months, if you had to be truthful. You would wake up energized because you finally could sleep. You would eat delicious food slowly because you finally had someone to talk to during meals. You adored your days with Seungmin. But they had finally come to an end. And you feared that so would your friendship.

————————

Dear Y/N,

I hope you haven’t forgotten me yet (it’s been only three weeks since we last saw each other.)

I read your article about me. I loved it! You definitely painted me in a light I’ve never seen myself, but I still want to thank you for being truthful and inspiring when you talked about my work.

I am emailing you to finally announce that my exhibition opening will be tomorrow, at 7PM at The Gallery. I hope you can make it! I organized everything so that your name will be on the VIP list with a plus one; you can bring your friend you talked so much about, she sounded fun! I hope to see you there!

Love,

Seungmin.

“Love?” Lisa asks, as you both read the email for the fifth time. “What the-“

“Language,” You shush her. “Oh my gosh, what does he mean by that?”

“Love.” Lisa tries again. “Love love love… you guys really hit it off, didn’t you?”

“Lisa, no!” You whine, blushing intensely. “I mean… there were times when I thought we were getting closer, but after the week ended he never texted me! Not even to talk about the article, so I don;tknow what to think anymore.”

“Well, there’s only one way to find out,” She shrugs. “Now let’s go, girly. We need to get ready for a very important event tonight.”

With the permission of your boss, you two leave early, straight to your house. On the way, you kept stressing about which dress to wear, or which shoes would match, and you’d sigh in frustration. That wasn’t you. You didn’t stress about things like this; you were cool and collected.

It took a couple of hours and you were sure you’d make it there a little bit late, but as soon as you two were ready, Lisa having borrowed some clothes from you, you left. The taxi ride was terrible; you were so anxious that you could throw up. Something in your gut told you that tonight would be… a surprise. And you weren’t sure if that was good or bad.

“Okay, we’re at the door,” Lisa whispered smiling to the security and giving him your names. “You have to calm down. You look like you’re about to run.”

“That’s because I am!” You whispered, looking at your friend as you walked in.

“Don’t be an enjoy the show!” She winks and walks away.

Sighing, you start roaming around, noticing one room in particular was closed off. Some pictures on the wall made you want to laugh, because you knew that as soon as he snapped that picture, Seungmin tripped and feel on his butt. The next one made you smile fondly, watching the two kids on their bikes. The sunset gave off the perfect lighting and you could only see one hand from the right side, a worried mother that ran after her babies. You went through the exposition like that, remembering each and all moments with the photographer. Once you were done, you were a little confused. You could’ve sworn he took more pictures than that.

“Excuse me!” Seungmin called from the center of the room, his back to you and Lisa, who brought you a glass of champagne. “I’d like to say a few things tonight. First of all, thank you all for coming. It means a lot to see all my friends and family united to support me. Secondly, I wanted to talk a little about this series, and about the surprise series in the next room.”

So that’s what it was. A surprise collection. Intrigued, you listened carefully.

“For the past days I have been working endlessly to make this dream come true, and I finally did it. I managed to capture moments of the daily life that, for us spectators, don’t mean much when we see them on the street, but that printed and edited seems to mean a lot. This is a calling; please pay more attention to your daily life. Smell the flowers. Listen to children laugh. Have fun as you walk to work everyday at 6AM.”

People laugh at that. He did too, and you smiled, watching as his cheeks puffed out in pride.

“The next room, though, was inspired on my own daily routine for the week I was taking these shots. I wasn’t alone that time; I was lucky to have an incredible companion with me, and unfortunately she doesn’t seem to be here, but you still get to see what I did for seven days straight.”

Lisa elbows you and your mouth is agape. You are sure you look like an idiot, but you couldn’t believe this. Was he talking about you?

“I promised this person that I would find what I was looking for– a picture worth a thousand words. How funny is it that she’s a writer?” People laugh yet again, but you can’t even muster breathing at this point. “And I did it. In the next room, you will see a series of shot of this person who now has turned into my muse. And in the center, the thousand words. Have fun, and thank you!”

Following the crowd before he could spot you, you enter this mysterious room, feeling lightheaded as you did. Your face was everywhere.

A picture of you writing on your notebook, the sun hitting only half of your face.

A picture of you sipping on your coffee while looking out the window. A thunder illuminating your face, contradicting the peacefulness you remember feeling that one stormy afternoon.

A picture on you laying on the grass, relaxing a little as he hunted more pictures.

“Holy shit, Y/N,” Lisa gasped. “How?”

“I don’t know.” And you really didn’t. How didn’t I notice this before?

And in the center, hanging from the ceiling, bigger than the others, you. Your eyes curious and wondering, arms up, putting your hair on a ponytail, and a coffee bar behind you. You had to admit, you looked ethereal; like a faraway beauty. And the name, written in small print, the picture worth a thousand words. Not ‘a picture,’ the picture. To say you were about to cry was an understatement.

You walk away from the room, heels clicking on the ground and suddenly a deja-vu hits you; snap! snap! snap! The sound of the camera shutter echoing on your mind.

So that’s what that was, you think, still walking, decidedly. He was taking pictures of me.

You find him talking to a waiter in another room, soon dismissing him with a wave and a smile.

“Ya Kim Seungmin!” You call loudly, making him jump from the scare. His eyes go wide as he sees you approaching, stuttering nonsense and and pointing at you. “Are you crazy?”

And as you say that, your hands go to his chubby cheeks– the same ones you’ve been dying to squeeze– and pull his face towards you. Your mouth touches his and there is nothing smooth or delicate about it. It’s urgent, desperate almost, and you blush at the thought. He is quick to get out of his trance and to bring you closer with his hands on your waist. He slows down the kiss, leading you, coaching you. He does what he’s been wanting to do since he saw you and he entangles his hands on your hair. It takes a while for you two to separate, and when you do you hide your face on his chest, laughing lightly. His heart is beating like crazy.

“Warn a girl first,” You tease, raising your head to see his eyes shine in the way you love so much.

“Look who’s talking!” He gasps. “You just attacked me!”

“I just… had a lot to say.”

“And what was that?”

“A kiss is worth a thousand words,” You whisper in his ear, laughing as he shivers. “Didn’t you get the memo?”

“I don’t think so,” He pretends to think about it. “Do it again and see if it works.”

Laughing, you start approaching him again. Foreheads touch first. Eyes make contact. And just as your lips were about to touch you hear-

“Is that the girl from the pictures?!”

And if you could hit Lisa, you would.

148 notes · View notes

memorylang · 4 years

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Fathers’ Day, Familiarity and Faith | #38 | June 2020

If my COVID-19 experiences were a Netflix Original Series, I feel someone could title it, "The Groundskeeper."

Synopsis: Returned Peace Corps Volunteer from Mongolia, now back in Nevada, learns a thing or two about hedge trimming and much more about life living.

The inspirational hit series stars award-winning memoirist Daniel Lindbergh Lang, director and editor. “Please support the official release.”

Quirky thoughts keep me sane. More on these later, of course.

The U.S. celebrated Father’s Day 2020 on June 21, so I commemorate it with reflections from being my father’s son.

The adventures follow both my Mothers’ Day reflections (#36) and Easter in America stories (#35). I focus now on continued COVID-19 adventures in yard work, sorting and reminiscing.

Chronologically, we pick up from my stateside Week 11 (May 15-21), when my sisters came home from their unis’ spring semesters. With them as collaborators, I continued sorting our family’s memorabilia. After a few weeks’ interlude 'round Memorial Day, big changes occurred Weeks 14 through 16 (June 5-25) through Fathers’ Day.

I also consider Pentecost and the Spirit. Easter 2020 ended Sunday, May 31, so we’re in a fruitful new time. In fact, I write here results from the smattering of routines I shared before.

Lastly, to clarify, many assume my dad’s Asian. But that’s untrue. He’s Austrian-American. That’s where I get my “Lang” surname. Ethnically, I’m about half Austrian. Culturally, too, Dad’s family influenced me far more than Mom’s when I grew up. My mom was ethnically full Chinese, hence that half.

Now back to Dad!

Father’s Perspective on My Boyhood

During my 2020 time home since Peace Corps’ evacuation, Dad often prods me to take on projects he sees around the yard. So, I do yard work. I don’t like desert heat, so I usually work the daily tasks an hour or two at dawn, sometimes dusk. Picture three months this way.

But Dad would tend to demand a certain perfection on many projects, expecting me out there working when there’s work to do. I’d rather let nature do as it pleases. Peace Corps experiences taught me decorated yards generally feel overrated. When I’m older, I feel I’d much rather have my family frequent parks to get our yard fix. Nonetheless, yard work lets me chat with God, who reminds me empathize.

It is difficult to say, "I serve the Father," if I do not serve my father.

With this in mind, I consider the patient progress of waiting while working often.

Dad grew up in rural America’s Midwest from the mid-20th century. Dad’s parents and community were largely Austrian-American Catholics. Dad’s grandfather immigrated with Dad’s great-grandfather because land in Austria was scarce, late-19th century, yet plentiful in Kansas. My dad grew up on a farm as a third-generation Austrian-American. He funded his higher ed. through U.S. military service and numerous side jobs, including those in teaching and sales.

Through Dad, I’m a fourth-generation Austrian-American—though, only second-generation Chinese-American, through Mom. I wasn’t quite on a farm, having grown up between Midwestern suburbs and an urban West. Still, Dad regularly tasked siblings and I with yard work.

An Energetic Kid, Ages 4-7

Now this gets interesting!

This mid-May 2020, my younger sister and I unearthed Christmas letters our parents (mostly Dad) had written to Dad’s siblings—my uncles and aunts—since before 2000. Turns out, our mom kept hard copies in the bins beside her desk. From these, Sister and I read pretty enjoyable pieces about our child selves.

Here I share Dad’s tales from grade school me in Indiana (used with permission):

2001: "Daniel is 4 years old now and is looking forward to kindergarten. He likes outdoor activities and he is quite strong for his age. He can do a lot of sit ups and push ups already. He likes to walk with [his mom] at the airport, which is nearby."

2002: "Daniel is five years old. He is in kindergarten. He is [...] very competitive. He is in the same school as [his older brother] and is rapidly learning to read now. He is good at math, and he studies very hard."

2003: "Daniel is six years old. He is very competitive and naughty. He always keeps track of the books he reads and comes home to tell us how many books he has finished. His goal is to reach 100 books this year. He is over 90 already. Well, he likes to pester [his brother a lot]. He thinks that is fun. [...]"

2004: "Daniel is seven. He is goal oriented and a 'do'er. He is good at making all kinds of crafts. He is our family's talented teacher. He taught [his younger sister] how to read before she went to kindergarten. He also gives homework assignments to the others, except [his older brother]. He always pesters [his brother] as usual."

God graced me with energy as a kid.

I noticed three themes. For one, I seemed to follow Dad’s lead in filling my time productively. He served in the U.S. Army National Guard and emphasized self-discipline. As a civilian family practitioner, too, he advocated for daily exercises, such as sit-ups, push-ups and walking. I seemed to follow suit.

On the other hand, I was a kiddo with an older brother, and I didn’t mind expending plenty spare energy to bother him. Thankfully I stopped pestering when I grew up with enough self-awareness to know good people don’t intentionally troll. Uni helped.

Curiously, I noticed the letters seemed to note many of my interests resembling Mom’s. Arts, reading and studying seemed more like Mom’s interests than Dad’s, yet I hadn’t realized my similarities to Mom back then. Of course, Dad values education, too.

Studious Beyond Belief, Ages 13-19

As I went through elementary school, Dad’s military service included deployments overseas to Afghanistan (2005) and Iraq (2007). In 2008, our family moved from southern Indiana to North Las Vegas, Nev., where I started middle school. Since my younger sister and I hadn’t found letters from Dad’s years deployed with the others letter, we figured Mom wrote them. By 2009’s end, Dad retired as a lieutenant colonel. But he continued work elsewhere, including in a dozen nations to indigenous peoples of the Americas.

Here were Christmas letters from my adolescence on. Coincidentally, I noticed the first couple we found both came from my last years at respective schools.

2010: “Danny, 13, is finishing at [...] a magnet [middle] school associated with math, science and technology. He [earned last year] a 4.0 [grade-point] average. He received a letter this past week from a magnet high school stating that he was the type of student they were looking for. [I, Dad, think Danny] is also in the National Junior Honor Society [service group]. [...] Danny continues to have to be at the school bus stop at 5:50 in the morning.”

2014: “Danny is the ultimate study robot, with his inhuman ability to study for hours on end in place of sleep, or other usual activities for high schoolers. He attended NV Boys State this past June, and he has risen to the rank of Division News Editor within [Kiwanis] Key Club--a HS service group. Danny and [his younger sister] also attended Key Club activities in CA in Nov. [...] As this is his senior year [...], he should be starting to apply for colleges now, but [...] he has not applied to Yale, which is causing his mother to feel that she is a ‘failure’ if none of her kids get accepted at this prestigious school--it’s used by Chinese mothers as a guilt trip for their kids! [...] He also received an AP with Honors award [from his magnet high school]. He presently is in the ‘top 10’ students in his class ranking. But if he doesn’t get his applications in, then there is always UNLV [Las Vegas]!”

2016: “Daniel is now a sophomore at UNR (Reno) in the Honors Program, and is an honors ambassador. He says he has 1 major in journalism with 3 minors at the present time, and he works at the library when time permits. He also completed an internship in publishing during the summer session, when he stayed in Reno and frugally survived during the summer by ‘couch surfing’ at several different locations. Several of us attended his confirmation at Easter in Reno. He also [...] presented at a few [conferences]. Additionally, he is involved in [the Kiwanis] Circle K service group on campus, as well as the Knights of Columbus, and he sings in the choir at the local Newman Center. Based on his Facebook postings, he seems to be enjoying college immensely. [...]”

I definitely loved service groups—and still do, if Peace Corps counts!

Seeing these letters in 2020, I feel amused how Dad wrote of my later academic interests with distance. Dad’s 2002 line about 5-year-old me, “[Daniel] studies very hard,” escalated exponentially, noticeable by his 2014 line about 17-year-old me, “Danny is the ultimate study robot, with his inhuman ability to study for hours on end in place of sleep.” I figure my peers were similar, though…

I feel amused, too, how Dad included Mom’s wanting me to pursue STEM careers. Chinese often expect this of their kids. In some sense, I’m glad Dad let me escape the Asian tendency and Mom’s ideal to have me pursue a Bachelor of Science. Back then, I contended a bachelor’s from the professional School of Journalism would still make me hireable.

Sure enough, Peace Corps hired!

Besides, I felt vindicated later when I learned my minors in English literature, Chinese studies and communication studies resembled my late mother’s fields of English literature and international relations... She clearly benefited from Liberal Arts. More on these in previous reflections, though. :)

Back From Mongolia

Snap back to March 2020, when I just returned to America after our COVID-19 evacuation from Mongolia.

I was really into “Frozen II,” the cathartic film easing me back into the States. My first week back felt very different from those after. Because “Some Things Never Change,” I discerned to do “The Next Right Thing.” Waking to various “Frozen II” numbers of looping in my brain, days began with such thoughts.

My first days, I often compared experiences to Mom’s when she raised my siblings and me. Despite being at home, I was alone. Dad worked away, plus siblings had school and work. (This preceded American schools canceling or moving online.) So, I felt confused what to do.

I discerned I could tidy the house, serve where others couldn’t. Whether dishes to wash or rooms to clean, I addressed what I saw. I imagined Mom felt this way when my siblings and I attended school and Dad worked.

I also considered my living father matters as much as my late mother. So, honoring Dad honors her, too.

Dad always had yard projects he wanted me doing. I had to weed so much when I first returned.

I felt insights, at least. I considered, weeds are eternal. Weeds will always grow on spiritual life. Weeds attempt to choke our crops’ life. We must uproot our weeds and prune dead areas to fortify new and better parts of being. The physical and spiritual are one. … Yet, weeds still annoy me.

Noticeably, my labors seemed to confuse many in my family. They seemed mostly to recall the 2015 me who’d choose studying over chores any day. But I guess most hadn’t factored I’ve experienced plenty in my years away from home, especially during my months living alone cooking for myself in Mongolia. House tasks are necessary parts of life.

Besides, I’d already been doing these tasks others seemed disinterested in, even back at Christmas 2019, when I sorted Mom’s books, and later during post-evacuation Week 9 (May 1-7), packing up Mom’s desk after three years gathering dust. I felt frustrated others seemed slow to accept I’ve changed since Peace Corps. I pray for grace.

The New Journey

June 6, 2020—just days after Pentecost and coincidentally one month to my 23rd birthday—marked one huge occasion.

Dad remarried!

I felt excited.

I also noticed a curious parallel in threes. For, on my family history adventures, I discovered something about Dad’s parents. In 1987, his mother's spouse passed away; on the third year, she married again, in 1990. 30 years later, my dad’s spouse passed away in 2017; on the third year, he married again, in 2020. Coincidences comfort me at times.

That day, I’d also finished revisions to submit my thesis to a different journal for publication. I’d tried before with one in June 2019 and February 2020, but unfortunately my work hadn’t fit within their scope. Still, the editor believed that I could publish it in the right place!

College Town Return

That Week 14 (June 5-11), Dad also purchased a house in Reno, Nev., where my kind stepmom may move, too. Dad requested aid moving things in Reno. My younger sister and youngest brother both opted out, so I went instead. I prefer Reno’s weather, anyway.

In Reno again, I felt parallels to past years.

Helping my youngest sister and her friend move from a condo and house to the new place, I recalled the many who helped me move between Reno homes during my undergrad. Honestly, I felt weird to think of my dad relocating to Reno, especially since I hadn’t known the area he chose existed during my years studying in town.

Mongolia returned to mind, too, while I lugged belongings in and out of the condo, up and down stairs. Hard to believe that that was three months ago when Peace Corps evacuated us. Exactly three months before, March 9, 2020, was my first Monday in Nevada again.

Writing of Mongolia, I also recalled every bellhop who's hauled my 23 kg (50 lbs.) luggage up stairs in Asia. God bless them.

On the bright side, with helping the sister and friend move, Dad said I got stronger. That felt good. When he asked how many push-ups I could do, I said 50—my new personal record met just days before. When I started working out the month and a half prior, I could only do half that.

Thanks to the lifting and yard work tasking me in Reno, I paused my fitness routines. I realized, I’ve enough strength and endurance for what I’d want to do. So now, having met the goals, I still work out, just less concerned about gains.

Tests of Faith

Back to that ‘groundskeeping.’

With Reno versus Vegas, I prefer hedges to palm trees. Hedges are more fun and less merciless. They leave my body less bloody than palm trees, too. Reno’s weather also keeps cooler.

As you’d expect, yard work leaves plenty time to reflect, chat with God. In earlier days these chats opened with lamentations about the heat and constant tasks. But God graces peace.

Ultimately, Dad’s tasks need someone to do them. He’s busy working full-time out-of-town, and siblings still have activities they must or would rather do. So I volunteer.

On the other side, Dad at times says he’ll compensate me once the bills are paid. There always seem bills to me, though. Since it’s been three months now, I try to think of this like the Kingdom. Whether or not I see rewards, I try to persevere. I must trust the Father to provide in time, no matter the wait. It’s a spiritual exercise.

Pa says he’s glad I’m financially stable, too—My scholarships, grants and work study graduated me debt-free. Those seem good, I guess.

So, spiritually exercising while laboring, I consider parables of workers in the field and masters. Christ spoke of such. Parables about fields and wages seem more nuanced after feeling comparable questions.

I think, too, to re-education labor camps sometimes. During China’s Cultural Revolution, my mom’s parents—both teachers—were sent to those. So, my ‘toiling’ in Dad’s backyards are surely nothing compared to what my grandparents involuntarily endured. I can bear my ‘shackles.’

These bring me to privilege.

At the day’s end, I have places to stay, food to eat and stable internet. Many Americans and people worldwide face greater turmoil than these, perhaps including you, my reader. So, I try acknowledging my ‘hardships’ hardly compare. I try to focus prayers for the needier. Faith helps me through.

On a happy note, I just reached the Diamond League on Duolingo! So, life could definitely be worse...

The Climb

One day during Week 15 (June 12-18), after Dad came home at dusk from work, he asked me to get out the ladder to climb the backyard tree. I thought that was wistful thinking!

Well, I had the time and realized he wanted me to climb after all. The tree had a fallen limb he wanted me to saw off, since I weigh less than him. I insisted I’d only climb with him around.

Well, he came around.

I ascended and sawed four limbs! Before the climb, we thought I only had to address a single one. But as I climbed for it, I found more. Thankfully, these were thin limbs. Dad gave some advice from below, handed me our hand saw then left me while he took care of other tasks around the yard. I climbed higher, wedged my feet in semi-stable positions and got to work.

Atop, the wind blew, so the tree rocked. I clung high in a swaying tree. Good Lord.

But I felt amazed, handling my saw even with my off-hand. I’d cling with one arm and saw with the other. When branches got stuck, I had to grab them, push and jerk them away from other sections to send them down. Dad had me call out, “Timber!” With the final branch out, I let the saw fall.

Success felt like redemption from that random tree I climbed the first culture-shocked day I returned to Vegas from Mongolia. This time I’d such control. My safety depended on it! Plus, I only grazed the back of my hand, as opposed to gashing my palm like the last time I left a tree. Less bleeding is better.

By the end, my arms and legs trembled, not from worry but from muscle fatigue. Still, I felt empowered. Throughout my childhood, I could never climb a tree. Now I passed the physical I hadn’t expected a month and a half prior.

All told, my climb took just half an hour.

Staying the Course

In a week and a half, I turn 23! So I’ll be one (1) 23-year-old, hehe. Look forward to new reflections on how I’ve grown and changed.

As an extension of my paternal family history projects, I started writing memorable quotes from Dad. My siblings and I wound up adapting these and more into our Fathers’ Day 2020 gift! Dad enjoyed our “Book of the Father” we printed.

Meanwhile, America begins to slightly reopen amid COVID-19 conditions, and the post-solstice summer’s begun. So, I encourage us to, whenever possible, still #StayHome more than usual, wear our face masks, maintain physical distance and of course wash our hands. We’ll get through this.

And I hear some are struggling with loneliness, too—If you need someone to talk to, you can always count on me. It’s among the most challenging feelings, given we humans are social beings staying physically apart. Writing, phoning and video calls help me, at least. Feel free to reach out. I keep you and loved ones in my prayers.

Best wishes, and till we chat again.

You can read more from me here at DanielLang.me :)

#Peace Corps #Mongolia #memoir #story #Catholic #God #memoryLang #USA #moving #Las Vegas #Pentecost #faith #Reno #Coronavirus #COVID-19 #hope #summer #StayHome #WithMe #Fathers Day

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girls-scenarios · 5 years

Text

I Fancy You

Idol: Jeongyeon (Twice)

Prompt: Hello✨ Firt of all, I want to say that I really love the blog💖 Then, can I request a scenario with fem!reader being on a roadtrip with Jeongyeon from TWICE (and some other friends) and they end up confessing bc they both have a crush on the other? Much love💓💓

Writer: Admin Kiwi

A/N: Perhaps “Fancy” is my new favorite Twice title track. Also all of the girls looked incredible this comeback but my girl Jeongyeon is out here serving looks. Look at that long hair. She’s a goddess. Also the friends in this story are Jihyo and Nayeon because I was feeling in the mood for some 3mix today. And this is LONG I got a little obsessed with this prompt oops. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy!

Warnings: Occasional curse words and a little bit of tension, I think that’s all.

♡ Tip Jar♡

“A road trip?” You looked up at Jihyo over your laptop, raising your eyebrows. Beside you, Jeongyeon looked up as well, putting a bookmark into her book. The two of you plus Nayeon had sitting at your normal table in the library, working on homework as the end of the semester crept closer, when Jihyo had approached, coffee in hand and a smile on her face.

“Yes, a road trip! To celebrate the end of the semester! We’ve all been friends for a while, right? It only makes sense that we go on a trip at least once before we aren’t young anymore.”

“Don’t say it like that,” Nayeon said, running her hands through her hair and sending Jihyo a look. “I don’t even want to think about not being young.”

“Because you’re already old,” Jeongyeon teased, earning her a kick under the table.

“No seriously, listen. When we finish the semester, we take a road trip somewhere. My uncle owns a vacation house near the beach, we could go to the beach and take a week to unwind and get into the mood for summer.” Jihyo sat down at the table and passed out the coffees as she spoke. “It would be a lot of fun, I promise.”

“It does sound fun,” Jeongyeon admitted, taking a sip of her coffee. “This would be the week after finals, right?”

“Right! You’ll want to take off of work now.”

“And the beach means lots of cute summer clothes. And lots of girls in those cute summer clothes,” Nayeon said, grinning as she turned to face Jihyo. “I think I’m down.”

With a laugh, you saved the essay you were working on and closed your laptop. You weren’t going to get any work done now. “You’re just going for the pretty girls?”

“Mostly. That and the ice cream.”

“So, (Y/N), are you in?” Jihyo turned to you with sparkling eyes, and you bit your lip, looking around the table. Everyone was looking at you, and your eyes lingered on Jeongyeon for a moment before you quickly looked away. Being on a trip with her for a whole week wasn’t something you’d been expecting to happen, but just the thought of the warm sun hitting your skin as you buried your toes in the sand made you relax a little bit, and you really wanted to go.

“I’m in,” you said, pushing back any reservations you might have had. “I’ll talk to my manager about taking time off tomorrow.”

“Yay!” A librarian shushed her from a few feet away, but Nayeon just shrugged them off, eyes sparkling as she threw her arms around Jihyo. “We’re going to the beach!”

“It is finals season, Nayeon, try not to get us kicked out of the library,” Jeongyeon said, but the usual edge in her voice was gone, and you could see the beginnings of a smile on her lips as she turned back to her book. She was excited, cheeks slightly flushed, and as you turned back to your laptop, listening to Jihyo talk about the things the four of you could do, you found that you were excited too.

“Did you guys pack everything? Toothbrush, combs, deodorant, jackets just in case?” Jihyo was standing at the door, calling inside to where you stood with Jeongyeon and Nayeon at the table, finishing up with the last of the packing: snacks and drinks.

“Yes, mom, everything is packed,” Nayeon replied, picking up two of the smaller bags. “Want to help me start putting everything in the car?”

“Don’t call me mom, I’m younger than you,” Jihyo said in return, but took the bags from the older girl’s hands, sounding too tired to fight. All of you had stayed up late the night before, barely getting any sleep in order to pack for the trip and make sure everything was perfect. Jeongyeon especially had hardly slept at all, and you could see the dark circles under her eyes as the two of you finished packing the snack and drink box, but you didn’t say anything. She had always been a perfectionist, so she’d probably rather sleep in the car on the way there than accidentally forget to pack on of the many things on her packing list.

“Okay, that looks good.” Jeongyeon stepped back from the box, surveying its contents. “We have chips, granola bars, candy, sodas, water, and energy drinks. I think that’s all we need.”

You stepped back as well, squinting at the box. There was something that Jihyo had gotten the night before that nagged at the back of your head until you snapped your fingers, remembering. “Oh, we should probably pack Jihyo’s apple juice packets she got.”

Immediately, Jeongyeon’s hands went up to her head and she let out a dramatic gasp, reminding you too much of Nayeon. “You’re right! How did I forget those? She would have kicked me out of the car, you saved my butt.” She backtracked to the cabinet, rummaging around until she gathered something up in her hands and turned around triumphantly. “Apple juice acquired. Anything else we’re missing?”

“Nope, that’s it,” you said, giving her a smile as she walked back over. “Ready to load it into the car?”

“Let me just put these in here,” she said, stuffing them down into the box. After a moment, she shook her head and stood back up, letting out a sigh. “I can’t believe I almost forgot the one thing Jihyo told me specifically to remember.” She looked even more tired than before, and you let your hand settle on your shoulder, knowing that she had to still be exhausted from the finals the week before.

“You’re tired, any of us could have done it. In fact, I’m willing to bet Nayeon forgot her toothbrush, even though Jihyo has reminded her at least ten times to pack it.” At your words, she laughed softly, and you let out a little relieved sigh.

“You’re totally right. Nayeon is just a mess in general.”

“Right? That’s why nobody believes that she’s the oldest.”

“I can hear you guys talking shit in here!” Nayeon threw open the door and stomped inside, making both of you laugh. Grinning, Jeongyeon picked up the box and sent Nayeon a wink.

“Hey, did you remember to pack your toothbrush?” Her words made you laugh, and Nayeon just looked between the two of you, confused.

“For the hundredth time, yes! What’s this even about?”

“Nothing,” you said, grabbing your bag from where it sat under the table. “Let’s get going, shall we?”

Outside, Jihyo was stuffing the rest of the luggage into the trunk of her car and Red Velvet was already blasting over the speakers from Nayeon’s phone in the front seat. Jeongyeon jogged ahead of you to put away the box of snacks, and you watched her go as you walked slowly behind her, a smile blooming on your face as Nayeon yelled that she would be right out and Jihyo yelled back at her to hurry. This trip was already shaping up to be a lot of fun.

Less than an hour into the drive, Jeongyeon was passed out in the seat beside you, head leaning on her pillow propped against the window. Nayeon was also asleep, letting out soft snores that she would deny later as her head rested against the back of the chair, and Jihyo had long since turned down the music, although she was still quietly humming along as she drove with her apple sauce packet in hand. Usually, you would already be asleep too, but you found yourself staring at Jeongyeon beside you instead. She had been so tired after exams, and you could tell from the way she was sleeping with her mouth slightly open, completely passed out, that she hadn’t been sleeping enough after them either. Still, she looked cute, and you reached over to push her now-long hair out of her face to keep it from tickling and waking her up.

When you’d first met Jeongyeon, the two of you had been college freshmen in orientation. Back then, she’d had her hair cut short and dyed blonde, and she’d been intimidating until you shyly said hello. Then her face had lit up and she’d introduced herself, telling you that she was nervous that no one would talk to her and that she had a friend who went here already, but that she wanted to make new friends. She had a bubbly personality, and immediately, you were drawn in by her, heart jumping around in your chest as you told her that you’d be her friend if she wanted you to be.

That was how it started, and now her hair was grown out, she had a few more ear piercings, and a secret tattoo that only the group knew about, but she was still the same girl you’d fallen for during orientation. Even if she was tired, she still smiled with all her teeth and joked to cheer up the table and argued with Nayeon over things that didn’t matter. She was still bubbly, even if she was more mature and organized than before. Her room still had her Oh My Girl poster and her ten small cacti by the window, even if she’d changed the rest of her room to be more “adult” with black and white bed sheets and a black vanity. She’d grown, you both had, but she was still Jeongyeon. And you still had those feelings stuck in your heart, refusing to go away.

She shivered slightly, and you noticed that the temperature in the car was getting chilly.

“Hey, Jihyo, where did we put the blankets?” You tried to keep your voice low even though you had to be loud to be heard. Thankfully, she heard you, eyes darting to look at you in the rear view mirror.

“They’re in the trunk, but you can get them if you open the little door in the middle seat. It looks like a drink holder,” she said, “sorry, is it getting cold back there?”

“Only a little bit, but Jeongyeon is shivering.” You turned and looked at the middle seat until your eyes recognized the outline of a little door in the seat and you reached over to pull it out. As soon as it came out, you could see the blankets folded neatly inside the trunk. “Oh, wow, this is cool!”

“Right? I made sure to put anything we might need right beside the door, so if you need anything, check there first.”

“Got it, thank you!” You pulled out two blankets and draped the first one gently over Jeongyeon. She shifted slightly in her sleep and one hand grabbed at the blanket, but she didn’t wake up, and you couldn’t help smiling because of how cute it was. As you settled back into your seat, unfolding your own blanket, you saw Jihyo glance at you in the mirror one more time. There seemed to be a glimmer of recognition in her eyes, but she almost immediately turned her eyes back to the road, and you decided not to think about it. Instead, you closed your eyes and listened to the soft sounds of Oh My Girl’s “Closer” playing over the speaker, letting the rock of the road and Jeongyeon’s even breathing beside you lull you to sleep.

The beach was just as wonderful as you’d thought it would be. Jihyo’s uncle’s house was almost right on the beach, and your eyes were wide as you climbed out of the car, looking around. The place was gorgeous, especially with the setting sun coloring it orange, and you could hear the sounds of the ocean lapping at the shoreline.

“This place is awesome,” Nayeon said behind you, sounding a bit breathless as she closed her car door. “How the hell does your uncle afford it?”

“Apparently he makes good money, I’m just glad he’s letting us borrow it,” Jihyo called as she moved to the trunk of the car, smiling proudly. “Come help me unload now, if you’re done gawking.”

“You sound like a rich girl,” Nayeon grumbled as she turned around, but you could tell that she was just being dramatic because she all but skipped to the back of the car.

Jihyo looked at you over her shoulder as she handed two bags to Nayeon and nodded towards the car. “Oh, (Y/N), please wake Jeongyeon and let her know we’re here.” Your door was still open, so you climbed inside and reached across to gently shake her shoulder, feeling almost guilty about waking her up.

“Jeongyeon, we’re here. Wake up.” You said it softly, but it was enough to wake her up combined with Nayeon’s loud voice outside the car, and she blinked sleepily, looking up at you before glancing out the window.

“Oh, okay. Did I sleep the whole time?”

“Yep. We stopped to get gas and tried to wake you up but you were completely out. I’m guessing you really needed your sleep after exams.”

She let out a laugh and sat up, yawning and stretching her arms out in front of her. “I guess I did. I didn’t realize I was so tired. Sorry if I made the drive boring.”

“It’s okay, you needed the rest. But you should step out and see this place, it’s gorgeous.” At your words, she raised her eyebrows and ran her fingers through her messy hair, trying to smooth it down.

“It’s that good, huh?”

“See for yourself.” You sent a grin her way and stepped back out of the car, but glanced back at her before you shut the door. As she reached for the door, she looked down at the blanket and seemed a bit confused. But it was only for a second, and she opened the door and stepped out, turning to look towards the house. Immediately, her jaw dropped open, and you found yourself smiling again.

“Woah, it is that good.”

“Told you.”

“Hey, Jeongyeon, since you didn’t help with anything else during the drive, come help with these suitcases,” Nayeon called as she slung two bags over her shoulders, breaking the moment as Jeongyeon turned to glare at her.

“I’m sure you were so much help yourself.”

“She handed me my card when we were filling up at the gas station.” There was laughter in Jihyo’s voice as she fumbled with her keys, and her words make Nayeon pout at her.

“I also played all your favorite songs so you wouldn’t feel like falling asleep!”

“Oh yeah, of course. Thank you, Nayeon.”

“That doesn’t sound genuine at all,” Nayeon complained, and Jihyo just laughed, turning to you and Jeongyeon.

“You two grab some luggage and let’s go inside and check it out.”

The inside of the house was just as pretty. It wasn’t a big house, but it was beach themed, and the cool air inside felt nice. From the front door, you could see that there was a patio looking over the beach at the back, with chairs, a table, and a grilling area set up already. You wanted to go check it out, but Jihyo started to announce the room situation, so it had to wait.

“Okay, so there’s three rooms, each with one bed. Two of us are going to have to share a bed.” She said it like it was nothing, but those words sent your heart racing and made your cheeks begin to burn. You hoped that it wasn’t too visible in the low light.

Nayeon narrowed her eyes, dropping her luggage to the ground. “Wait, so who’s sharing the bed?”

“I thought we’d draw sticks for it. I already made them and everything.”

“How do we know you aren’t going to cheat and get yourself a good room?”

“It’s random, Nayeon. How would a cheat at pulling sticks? There’s two with red marks and two with blue. Reds get to share the bed, blues get their own bedroom.” Quickly, she turned to dig into her purse for the sticks, and you glanced at Jeongyeon. She’d been just as quiet as you while Nayeon was whining, and you could see that the ends of her ears were slightly red, but you didn’t want to give yourself any hope by reading into it. “Here! See? Completely fair, they all look the same here.” The sticks in her hand were covered halfway by a little black felt bag, bottoms completely concealed inside.

“If you say so. I’ll go first.” Nayeon still looked a bit skeptical, but she reached out anyway, grabbing one of the sticks. At the bottom was a blue mark obviously made with a highlighter, and she grinned. “Good! At least if you cheated, I benefited from it!” With a roll of her eyes, Jihyo offered the bag to you and Jeongyeon.

“Who’s next?”

Swallowing, you reached out to pull a stick from the bag. Red. At the sight of the color, your heart started up again, and Nayeon whistled. “(Y/N)’s sharing the bed! But with who?”

“Just because you’re a drama major doesn’t mean you have to make everything so dramatic or theatrical,” Jeongyeon said as she reached towards the bag, ears still flushed. Her words made Nayeon pout, again, as she reached over to gently hit the girl with her stick.

“Shut up. You’re mean,” Nayeon replied, but you could barely hear her over the sound of your own heartbeat in your ears as Jeongyeon’s fingers closed around a stick. Was this really happening.

“Oh. Red.”

“(Y/N) and Jeongyeon are sleeping together!” Nayeon yelled, and Jeongyeon threw her stick at her, making her yelp.

“Are you twelve? I’m going to drown you in the ocean, just wait.”

“You won’t do that, I’m your best friend.”

“Anyway, guys,” Jihyo spoke up, voice cheery as she waved her blue stick. You squinted at her, remembering the glimmer you’d seen in her eyes earlier. Had she planned this? “Since Jeongyeon and (Y/N) have to share a bed, they get the master bedroom. The bed is bigger and they actually get their own shower. Nayeon, you and me have to share a shower.”

“Fine with me. I get a whole queen size bed to myself.”

“Let’s try and finish getting everything inside before it gets too dark, okay? I had my uncle get groceries ordered for delivery so I could cook tonight and he said they should be here any minute. We can just chill tonight before we go out exploring tomorrow.” Jihyo picked her bag back up as she talked, walking into the hallway. “Nayeon, me and you are on this side of the hallway. Jeongyeon and (Y/N), your bedroom is on the right.”

“Thanks,” you said, glancing at Jeongyeon. Her ears were still slightly red, but she gave you a smile and shrugged.

“Nothing we can do about it, right? At least we got the master.” Leave it to Jeongyeon to always be positive. You smiled back at her and nodded in agreement.

“You’re right. We’ll make this work.”

Dinner sizzled in the kitchen as you unpacked your things, hanging them up in the closet or folding them into the dresser. Behind you, you could hear shuffling, and you turned around to see Jeongyeon dumping extra pillows onto the bed and arranging them down the middle. As if she sensed your gaze, she looked up and gave you a little smile.

“So things don’t get too awkward,” she explained, and you nodded your head, hoping that your feelings of disappointment weren’t written all over your face.

That night, you caught yourself watching as Jeongyeon walked back into the room from the shower, hair tied up into a messy bun and face slightly red from the heat of the water. She wore a pair of shorts and an old baggy t-shirt, and you watched as a trail of water ran down her neck and disappeared into the collar as she leaned down to search through her bag for her toothbrush. When she stood back up, her eyes locked with yours, and you quickly looked away, going back to getting ready for your own shower.

“Do you think Nayeon forgot her toothbrush?”

You shrug, careful not to let your eyes wander again as you stand up and send her a smile, stomach twisting into knots. This trip was going to ruin you. “Definitely. Are you done with the shower?”

You woke up to the smell of coffee and waffles, and an empty spot in the bed beside you. For a moment, you just laid there, staring up at the stark white ceiling as you listened to what was obviously Nayeon’s playlist coming from the kitchen. The bed still smelled like Jeongyeon, and you breathed in deeply, closing your eyes for a moment only to quickly open them again when the scene from the night before plays in your head.

“Hey (Y/N), do you want any creamer in your coffee?” Nayeon’s voice interrupted your thoughts and you sat up with a sigh, stretching your arms above you. Vacation or not, you needed to get up and get ready.

“Yes please, I’ll be right out!”

Jihyo was plating one of the biggest waffles you’d ever seen when you walked into the kitchen, and she looked up at the sound of your footsteps. “Good morning, (Y/N). We’re eating on the patio, Jeongyeon and Nayeon are already out there. Oh, and Jeongyeon finished your coffee.” She pushed a mug your way, and you took it gingerly, looking down at the liquid inside. It was the exact color that you always had your coffee, and you smiled slightly as you took a sip. It was perfect. “Here, this one’s yours.”

“Thanks, Jihyo. You’re seriously the best.” As you stepped outside, the view again took your breath away, and you stood there staring for a moment before you sat down in your chair beside Jeongyeon.

“I can’t wait to go down to the beach.” Nayeon’s voice was slightly hoarse from sleep, but you could tell she was excited as she stuffed the rest of her waffle into her mouth, making Jeongyeon laugh.

“Don’t choke or you won’t be able to go to the beach at all,” Jeongyeon said as she brought her coffee to her lips. Her hair was pulled back into a slightly messy ponytail and she was still wearing her pajamas, but what really caught your eye was the dark circles under her eyes, or rather, the lack of dark circles. She looked more energized than she had for the last month.

“Did you both sleep well?” You asked as you cut into your waffle, looking between the two.

“I did.” Nayeon spoke through the rest of the waffle in her mouth, making Jeongyeon grimace.

“Girl. Swallow your food before you talk.”

“What, are you trying to take the mom position from Jihyo?”

“I’m not a mom!” Jihyo yelled from inside, making you chuckle under your breath. The mood was good and the air was warm, and the weight from finals had lifted from your shoulders. Mentally, you thanked Jihyo’s uncle as you dug into your waffle and basked in the summer sun.

After finishing her plate, Nayeon jumped to her feet and stretched, looking out towards the ocean. “Come on you guys, let’s hurry so we can get on the beach. I really want to wear my new bathing suit. It’s so cute! You’ll all definitely fall for me.”

“No offense, but I’ve known you for most of your life, including your peak during high school. There’s no way I’m falling for you now.”

“I did not peak in high school! Yoo Jeongyeon, you take that back! We’ll see who peaked when we go down to the beach.” As Jeongyeon laughed, Nayeon turned her eyes to you, making you throw up your hands.

“Nope, no way. I’m not a part of this.”

“You are now. When we get down to the beach, we’ll have (Y/N) and Jihyo rate us based on our outfits. We’ll see if you’re laughing then!” She turned and stormed away, and when you turned to look at Jeongyeon, her cheeks were flushed. She was still smiling, and she shook her head as she picked up her plate, but you could see a bit of nervousness on her features.

“Why is she like this?”

“This is Nayeon we’re talking about here.”

“True. My swimsuit is old, so go easy on me, okay?” She gave you a little wink as she stood up to go inside, and you swallowed, nodding your head. You were so, so screwed.

Sometimes you wished you were as confident as Nayeon. She walked out the bedroom with nothing on but her swimsuit and some short-shorts, sunglasses perched up on her head and a grin on her face that obviously meant she was expecting to win. “Cute, right? It’s the latest style.”

“Definitely cute,” Jihyo said, raising her eyebrows. “When did you buy it?”

“As soon as you said we were going to the beach. I knew I needed something new.” She did a little twirl and tossed her hair over her shoulder, and you laughed softly, because she just loved being the center of attention so much it was funny. “Should we get going?”

“Let’s go, attention-seeker.” Jeongyeon stepped out of the bedroom behind her, pulling her hair back as she walked. Her outfit wasn’t anywhere near as flashy as Nayeon’s, but you still found yourself staring. She was wearing a sheer white cover-up that went just past her jean shorts, and you could see she faintest hint of mint green underneath it. She looked great, like she always did, and when she met your eyes, you gave her a little thumbs up. Her cheeks colored slightly but she smiled, sending you one in return as the two of you headed for the door behind Jihyo and Nayeon.

The beach was just as gorgeous as it had been that morning, and as Jihyo laid out the towels she’d brought from the house on the sand, Nayeon kicked off her sandals and danced around, singing the chorus of Oh My Girl’s “A-ing” as she went. Jeongyeon joined in, with Jihyo beginning to hum a moment later, and you grinned as you sat down, shielding your eyes against the sun. For a moment, you thought that maybe they’d forget about the dumb swimsuit contest Nayeon had suggested earlier, but no. After she’d danced and sang the chorus of “A-ing” Nayeon turned to you and pointed.

“It’s time.”

“Nayeon, do we have to?” You asked, and she immediately nodded, shimmying out of her jean shorts.

“Yes! Come on, Jeongyeon, show them your swimsuit.”

Jeongyeon seemed much more embarrassed than Nayeon as she reluctantly pulled her cover-up up over her head and handed it to you for safe-keeping. You’d seen her in this swimsuit before, but it didn’t matter, because it fit her. It was a light mint green with a tied string in the front and thick straps that went over her shoulders. It was nowhere near as flashy as Nayeon’s, but it still looked great.

“I vote for myself,” Jihyo joked, and Nayeon rolled her eyes.

“You won’t win with an Adidas swimsuit, Jihyo.”

“I think it’s cute!”

“Okay for real, (Y/N), whose swimsuit do you like better?” Nayeon turned to you with her arms crossed, and you swallowed, looking between the two girls. Of course you liked Jeongyeon’s better, but you had a feeling that you would hear about it for the rest of the trip if you told Nayeon that. As you looked at Jeongyeon, she gave you a big smile and made an exaggerated pose, and you laughed. You really had to pick her.

“Sorry Nayeon, I like Jeongyeon’s better.”

“Hell yeah! In your face, Nayeon!”

“The judge is biased, I want a rematch!”

“Okay Nayeon, I like yours,” Jihyo said in a playful tone, obviously just trying to make her feel better, but it seemed to work because Nayeon stopped steaming and came over to let the younger girl put sunscreen on her. Jeongyeon also moved over, raising her hand to give you a high-five. You equated her pink face to the heat.

“Thanks (Y/N), I appreciate you.”

“No problem.”

That evening, you stood on the patio, watching as the sun set over the ocean with a smoothie made by Nayeon in your hands. It was a little bit too cold and a little bit too sweet, but you were on a beach vacation, so it was just right. You still smelt a bit like salt water from swimming earlier, and you were pretty sure you were never going to get the sand out of your sandals, but it didn’t matter because you felt good.

“(Y/N)?” You turn around to see Jeongyeon at the door, her own smoothie in hand. “Jihyo and Nayeon are setting up Netflix and told me to ask if there’s anything you want to watch.”

“I’m fine with anything,” you said, smiling as she walked out to stand beside you.

“Wow, it’s really pretty out here. It looks like a photograph no matter how many times I see it.”

“I know, I can’t wait to see what the stars look like.” The two of you stood in silence for a moment, watching as the sun-kissed ocean lapped at the shore.

“Hey, did you really like my swimsuit better earlier? Or were you just saying that to get a rile out of Nayeon?”

You turned to look at Jeongyeon, taking her in. She was still looking at the ocean, the outline of her face glowing in the golden hour light. Somehow, she was even more beautiful than the view. “I really liked it better. You looked cute today.” A smile bloomed on her lips.

“Good. I hoped that you did.” You didn’t have the time to decipher what that meant. So you didn’t, instead turning to look back at the living room, where Jihyo and Nayeon were arguing over what to watch.

“Should we go back inside?”

Jeongyeon’s voice was soft as she spoke. “Let’s stay here for a little longer.”

The next day at the shops near the beach, Jeongyeon picked up a giant pair of earrings and held them up next to her face, grinning widely.

“Do you think these fit me?”

Nayeon replied with some sarcastic comment as she headed to the register with two dresses in her arms, but you couldn’t help but smile, placing down the necklace you were inspecting to really look at her. The earrings were shaped like sand dollars, and although you would have never picked them up for yourself, they looked good against Jeongyeon’s wavy dark hair.

“I like them on you.”

Her face brightened up and she placed them into her palm. “Then I’ll get them. Are you going to get the necklace?” She pointed at the necklace you’d been looking at, but you shook your head, laughing.

“No way. It’s too expensive and fancy for a college student like me. I just liked the way it looked.”

“Oh, okay.”

After the purchase, she took out the earrings she’d been wearing before and replaced them with the sand dollars, moving her head slightly to make them bounce. “How do I look?”

“You look amazing, let me take a picture,” you said, pulling out your phone and holding it up with a smile, and she quickly tucked her hair behind her ears and posed for the photo.

Later, you’d look at the photo and swear she was glowing.

That night, Jeongyeon turned on music in the shower (not Oh My Girl, for once) and you tried not to listen as you finished getting ready to sleep. The pillow wall in the middle of the bed stared at you as you climbed into bed, but you ignored it, settling into the covers. Minutes after the music stopped, the bed dipped and you could hear her shuffling with her things and the blankets as she climbed into bed.

The lights were turned off, and for a moment, there was no sound other than the AC blowing cool air into the room. Then, you felt her shifting on the other side of the pillow wall, and she spoke, close yet muffled by the barrier. Somehow still so far away.

“Good night, (Y/N).”

“Good night, Jeongyeon.”

You woke up to find Jeongyeon up first once again, but when you padded out into the kitchen, Jihyo informed you that Jeongyeon and Nayeon had gone out to the store and would be back soon. Something like jealousy nagged at the back of your head, but you shook it away, knowing you were being sleepy and dumb. Jeongyeon and Nayeon had been friends for years. That had nothing to do with your relationship (or lack of one, really) with Jeongyeon.

You were sitting on the back patio with Jihyo, talking and people-watching while eating snow cones, when Jeongyeon and Nayeon got back. Nayeon immediately came out to settle herself into Jihyo’s lap and tell her about the outrageous outfit she’d seen at the market (Jihyo was unphased by Nayeon’s antics it was impressive), but Jeongyeon lingered behind for a while longer. You thought nothing of it as you finished your snow cone, figuring that Nayeon had just left her to put things away as usual.

It wasn’t until she poked her head out the door and asked for you to come inside that you realized something was up. “(Y/N), I need your help with something in our room for a minute.”

You raised your eyebrows as you stood, wondering if something had fallen. “Yeah? What’s up?”

“You’ll see.” Jeongyeon turned around without saying anything else, and you caught Nayeon smiling like she knew something, but you didn’t know what to make of it as you stepped inside, dropping your cup into the sink before hurrying off towards the bedroom.

When you got there, Jeongyeon was sitting on the bed, something square in her hands. “Here. This is for you.” Your heart jumped up into your throat and butterflies began to dance in your stomach as your mind went wild with the possibilities. But you tried to keep it cool just in case, walking slowly over to her.

“Really? From you?”

“Yeah. It’s a present.” Her face was impossible to read as she handed you the box, and your mouth went dry as you looked down at the gift. “Go ahead and open it.”

You did as you were told, slowly lifting the top off the box. As soon as you realized what was inside, your heart skipped a beat, eyes widening and mouth dropping open. “Jeongyeon! This necklace was expensive, you didn’t have to get this for me!” The familiar necklace from the store reflected the light from the window, and your fingers moved on their own to touch the carefully crafted and polished stones.

“I saw that you really liked it at the store,” Jeongyeon said, tucking her hair behind her ears, a sign that she was nervous. “I guess I just wanted you to have it.”

“But it’s so fancy, when am I even going to wear this?” As you spoke, she stood from the bed and gently took the necklace from the box, unclasping the back. On instinct, you leaned forward, letting her put it on for you.

“Well, I got it for you because I fancy you, so it fits to wear it now, right?” Her face reddened immediately, but it took you a moment to process what she said, blinking at her in confusion before it hit you and your face turned red to match hers.

“I-I... W-what? Jeongyeon, did you buy this necklace just to use that pun?” Despite your stuttering and the urge to squeal building up in your chest, you could feel yourself smiling like an idiot. Jeongyeon, too, giggled and covered her face.

“The pun was just too perfect. But I also bought it because you liked it. Was that too corny?”

“No, I liked it.” You reached over to pull her hands away from her face. “I fancy you too, Jeongyeon.”

“Oh. Good. That’s great. Date me then?”

“Gladly.”

“Awesome.” The two of you looked at each other before bursting into giggles at the situation, and Jeongyeon let out a little squeal as she flopped back onto the bed, pulling you so that you ended up right beside her. “Oh my god, that was the most awkward thing I’ve ever done in my life!”

“It was pretty awkward. But it was cute too. I liked it.” You grinned as she turned to look at you, face still flushed.

“I’ve been wanting to tell you that for a while now. Not in those words, but you know. That I like you.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“I don’t know. I was scared. But this trip made me think a lot and realize a lot, so I told Nayeon and she agreed to help me get the necklace to confess to you. It was kind of a mess. But I’m happy I did.” She was glowing again, and you had the sudden urge to kiss her.

“I’m happy you did too. I’m so happy that I want to kiss you.”

Again, she turned pink, but her smile didn’t waver. “Then kiss me, (Y/N).”

Jeongyeon tasted like the strawberries and pancakes from breakfast, and her lips were smooth against yours. As she kissed you, her arms snaked around to pull you closer, fingers caressing the skin under your thin shirt, and you would have kissed her forever if you could. But eventually you had to pull away, and the two of you sat up, still tangled together. The pillow wall caught your eye, and laughed softly.

“Can we do away with the pillow wall now?”

“Oh god, yeah. That was stupid, why did I do that anyway?”

“To not make it awkward, even though it kind of did the opposite of that,” you said, voice teasing as she groaned and buried her head into your shoulder.

“Sorry I’m so awkward. I’d like to cuddle with you from now on, if that’s okay.”

“No more pillow walls?”

“No more pillow walls, I promise.”

“Good, because I’d like to cuddle with you too.”

“Then we have a deal.” Jeongyeon looked back up at you, and the two of you dissolved into more giggles until her lips found yours again. The ocean could be heard outside the open window as Jeongyeon kicked the offending pillows off the bed, and happiness bubbled up in your chest as you pulled her close again. You made a mental note to thank Jihyo for suggesting the road trip as Jeongyeon kissed you breathless, because everything was perfect, just like it always was when you were with her: your girlfriend, the woman of your dreams. And you wouldn’t have it any other way.

#twice #jeongyeon #twice scenario #twice scenarios #jeongyeon scenarios #girl group scenarios #kpop scenario #girl groups #kpop girl groups

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kaescarribean-blog · 5 years

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week one.

Hi - a little introduction for me: I’m Kaelynn, and I am a rising junior at the University of South Carolina! This semester, however, I’m missing beloved football season and taking a semester in St. Thomas, USVI, through the National Student Exchange program (NSE). Today is Saturday, August 17th, so that means I’ve been here for four days now, although it seems just a million times longer than that. I was so incredibly nervous for this trip for the two weeks leading up to it, with fear and anxiety that I wouldn’t make any friends, that I wouldn’t be able to find my way to the school, that I wouldn’t pack enough (I didn’t, so that was a valid fear), and everything in between. Now that I’m here, thats almost entirely out the window, and I could not be more happy or grateful for this experience!

tues. aug 13:

actually, this was my birthday. I was a little sad, because I would be without any friends or family, so I wasn’t too happy about this. I woke up at 4 am and drove to Logan intl in Boston, and the next thing I knew I was awkwardly walking around the airport trying to carry the three suitcases and backpack I had on me alone, scared, and very nervous. However, a good 6 hours later and I had already landed in St. Thomas. The airport was very small, with only two carousels for baggage claim. Because of this, a group of the NSE students found each other right off the bat and were lucky enough to grab a taxi together to the school. While this was a little difficult due to us not having a lot of info from housing, being among other people who I knew were just as confused as I was was surprisingly comforting. It was a familiar anxiety and excitement, exactly like being a freshman at USC was at first. We checked in and began setting up our dorms, and it wasn’t long before we met multiple other NSE kids as well - one being my suitemate (and now roommate, but that’s another story). The girls that I had met earlier came by my room and asked us to come to Kmart, which is the big store on the island for anything you need, and so we did. We took safaris there, which are essentially pickup trucks with benches and some windows in the back. They drive on the opposite side of the road, and roads are incredibly narrow, but the safari drivers never seem to notice and drive fast and precisely weaving throughout the island. In Kmart we noticed everything was a lot more expensive than on the mainland (what everyone calls the continental US here) - a pair of twin sheets cost something like 60 bucks! Another kid bought a can of peanuts for 7! This was a little worrisome, but we’ve come to know that everyyyyything here is pretty much expensive because it has to be imported. Gas here is 3.77 a gallon. I rest my case. We got to know some more NSE kids, got some stuff for our dorm, ate dinner together at the mediocre cafeteria, and then, when we were about to go to bed, we remembered something. The beach!! Our school has one within like a 3 minute walking distance, so we decided to rally everyone up, and get down to the water. It was amazing. The water was so warm and we could see clearly down to our feet even though it was pitch black outside, and it started to seem like things were going to turn out juuuuust fine here.

wed. aug 14:

Today, we had orientation. Then, we had orientation. After we had lunch, then some more orientation. Not much happened here besides just talking more to the NSE kids and getting to know everyone better, and throwing together an intense snapchat group (a lot of kids don’t have their service working for their phones) ((mine has been working the entire time, thank god for verizon)). When we finally finished up at orientation, I think we went to the beach? It feels like a million days has passed already, but I know I’ve gone everyday, which has been amazing. After this, we found out it was “ladies night” at a place downtown, so we all hopped in some insanely overpriced taxis and headed out. We stayed there for 6 hours, and we all got to know each other that much better. I may be developing an affinity to reggae music.

thurs. aug 15:

Again, lots of orienting to do. We had a convocation ceremony that my roommate and I decided to take advantage of island time for, and showed up a few hours late. We were so tired this was the way to go for us, and we still got to hear the president’s speech and talk to our college deans, so we didn’t miss much. Compared to USC’s 26,362 student body, UVI has 2,138. This is wayyyy different from what I’m used to, but kind of nice because you can talk to the president or your dean with incredible ease - they even gave out their cell phone numbers. I’ve never even seen my dean of college, even when I needed her to sign something I had to go through someone else to get it done! We had an NSE meeting finally so we could get some more information about the island and all the happenings of the next few days, and we did ice breakers in the beginning, but honestly, at this point it felt like looking around the room I was friends with everyone already and knew at least a thing or two about each of them. We’ve got a good group -- we want to meet some more locals, but honestly even though everyone says that all the people here are friendly, we’ve experienced some stand offishness from many of the local students on campus, so its comforting to at least have each other for now. We went to the beach around 4, I think, and some kids went snorkling and saw turltes and sting rays and lots of other fish, right in Brewers Bay! This is the beach we can walk to in a few minutes, so it’s nice to know we can always go here and get good snorkling! By the end of this day, I was exhausted, and got to do some more unpacking and organizational stuff that I hadn’t had a chance for before. Then, I went to bed. I felt tired, warmed by the sun, and overwhelmingly content.

fri. aug 16:

We had another early morning today as we were catching some safaris at 9 am on a university led island tour. Of course, on island time this meant not a soul was there at 9 am but rather everyone finally strolled in at 9:30, so we left then. Everyone at home talks about island time as if it’s relaxing, however honestly a few of us if not most are finding it kind of irritating and hard to plan around. If you come here, you’ve got to got to got to got to let that go and prepare yourself to play things by ear and go with the flow. On our island tour we saw the most amazing views - from a skyline view to another beach called Coki, to the top of the mountain, we were all saying “whoa” more times than can be counted. I went on a bus that had more locals than NSE students, so I got to learn so much from them including things like eating this fruit off a tree we passed, to the fact that half the island used to be a beach. We got home from this around 1pm, the earliest we’d been released all week, so we decided to again go down to Brewers Bay for some beach time. We were there for about 6 hours, from swimming to snorkling to laying out and walking around, we never got bored. We all decided to stay until sunset (which happens extremely early here to our disdain at a cool 6:45), and the sky put on a beautiful show for us. Everything is so beautiful that it looks like a post card. After this we showered and headed to a movie night held by the university and ate hamburgers there, and relaxed at the rec center for a while playing pool and dominos. Then, one of our friends roommate who is a friendly local took us out to show us this cool lookout where you could see stars, the entire university, the beach, and even some heat lightening (which the local said wasn’t heat lightening, but I think it must have been and they just don’t call it that). We threw together a plan to go to another island, St. John, and then went to bed to rest up for it. It was another night going to bed feeling so de-stressed and happy.

sat. aug 17:

We’ve finally caught up with today! Going to St. John was unreal. We caught the 11 o’clock fast ferry out in Red Hook - the city part of town, which you have to take a safari or taxi to get to. As a side note, safaris are our - and I think everyone’s - preferred method of transportation because it is so much cheaper and honestly a better experience. Safaris are $1 if you remain on the west side (I think) of the island in the “country”, and $2 once you drive over the incredibly steep Rapoon Hill that brings you into the “city”. Then, we caught the local price of the ferry at only $12 roundtrip, and we were on our way! When we got there, there were many taxi drivers coming up to those coming off the ferry asking if we needed rides, so we got one very quickly and he helped us get to a beach that he thought was beautiful, fun, and what we were looking for. I don’t think I know what it was called, but it was exactly what he described! The water is the most amazing blue you’ve ever seen, and it simply has not worn off yet the beauty of everything that I’ve been surrounded and swallowed up into. We swam here and hung out all day. A while later, our taxi driver came to retrieve us, and brought us back into town. We all got some fries at a place called Tap and Still, due to the fact that we hadn’t eaten since 8:30 am and it was now around 4, and they were some of the absolute best I’ve ever had. Either that, or I was just insanely hungry. The ferry ride back was all of 14 minutes, and then we got another 45 minute safari back to campus. They stop running around 6:30/7pm (again, you don’t really know because of island time), so we wanted to come back in order to catch one in time. During the ride, it started down pouring, and because of how fast we were going rain was coming in through the windows slightly in the front bench and near the sides, so those of us that were sitting there got a bit soaked and then were freezing because of how cold it was! Never thought I’d be cold here, coming from Mass, but today I was definitely proved wrong. Then we got dinner, showered, and we’ve been in bed since. As has been the theme of this week, now I feel extremely tired, but over the moon happy and excited and mind blown and thankful that I will be spending my next four months in this place, with these people.

#PICS to go along with this week ~ next post

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nighttimefjaeril · 7 years

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As promised, here’s more info on the middle-schooler quartet of my Ibun “Kids investigating mysteries with shady uncle Jikaku” AU :’3

Houmei is 12-year old going on 13 (his birthday will happen during the vacation). He lives in Yokohama and is sent to visit his Great Uncle Jikaku for the summer, who used to live and work in Tokyo but has retired in a rural village in the Tohoku region, where he hails from.

Given we literally don’t know anything about Houmei’s backround, I’m having a hard time coming up with anything too specific linked to his family life; as a general rule, I’d say his family situation isn’t the easiest. He lives with a caretaker, and Jikaku is related to them. The two are completely estranged, and the reason he was sent to him was because of issues between him and his caretaker; as he’d become increasingly rebellious and problematic growing up, hoping that Jikaku would straighten him : D But caretaker definitely has issues with their life as well. Overall, things at home aren’t the best and Houmei isn’t all too unhappy to live at his uncle’s for a couple of months, despite having troubles adapting to such a different lifestyle at first : D He’s an extremely intelligent and curious kid, a day-dreamer, and an avid reader of mystery and fantasy novels. He comes off as extremely well-mannered at first, which surprises Jikaku given the situation he was told, but he soon learns that it’s all an act of course : D He knows how to hold a façade in order to get away with things, and is extremely manipulative towards adults and kids his age alike. At first the other boys find him odd as he talks of weird stuff and acts ditzy at times, but as they’re all misfits they end up taking the outsider in pretty much right away. He’s the type to hide his problems , real feelings and thoughts behind a dorky smile. He doesn’t have much interest in leadership, but thanks to his natural charisma and adventurous spirit he ends up being the driving force of the group by default. On the other hand, he can be a bit of a slob at times and gives into laziness easily. Much like Sho'un, he has a problem with authority, but unlike him he’s able to find sneaky ways to break the rules. As for now he has no definite life plans nor dreams; he knows that if he’d work hard enough he could easily enter any college and take on any career, but he also very little interest in formal studies and he’s the type who prefers researching stuff on his own (he has a very broad knowledge for a kid his age, but he’s not driven enough in his studies for his level of intelligence and pretty listless). His favorite subject is literature, but he wouldn’t have troubles with anything if only he applied himself. His hobbies include reading and writing, skateboards, videogames and daydreaming. He’s learning to play guitar but he’s too lazy to practice often (he also has a pretty good voice).

Jyoan is a 13-year old going on 14 (his birthday is in late September). He lives with his mother and two sisters (one older and one younger) and his younger sister’s father. His biological dad is not in the picture. He doesn’t have a good relantionship with his step dad and his family situation also isn’t ideal, and for that reason he tries to stay away from his house as much as possible (he usually stays at Ganpuku’s house most days of the week). His family was also struggling with money a lot in the past, even though nowadays they’re doing better economically after his mother got married again, he’s still known as the “poor kid” at school, and he was being made fun a lot for being… extremely feminine (no day has gone by without him being called a fag by classmates or his step dad). He used to be bullied a lot more in the past, until he started to clam back (also his friendship with dangerous kid Sho'un made the transition easier :D He’s considered a bit of a punk himself by his peers). Of all his friends, he’s the one who hates living in the village the most and dreams of moving in the city as soon as possible. He’s an extremely ambitious and driven kid, and puts his status above all; he lives for receiving praise and attention by others and puts a lot of efforts in everything he does for that; he has good grades but he’s the type to truly shine only in what he likes (he excels in arts). He’s a sensitive boy, pretty mature and deep for his age (or so he thinks lol), but at the same time can act pretty bratty and and has a really bad temper; the more he’s obedient with teachers and authorative figures the worse his attitude towards with his friends and siblings. He’s also extremely foul-mouthed and gets reprimended for it a lot by adults. He may or may not have a one-sided rivalry with Houmei, as he basically represents everything he wishes to be… or so he thinks (not that he would dare to admit that of course). His hobbies include fashion, drawing, pretentious movies and books that are way beyond his comprehension level for his age (but he still watches/reads them anyways ‘cause that’s what cool kids do right?) and singing.

Malcolm (aka Ganpuku) is 13 (he was born the same year as Houmei but has had his birthday already). Being born in May he started school one year earlier and so he’s in the same grade as Jyoan and Sho'un (they’re all classmates as there is only one class per grade in the local middle school, too). He lives with his parents and one older sister, and his family owns the local convenience store. Ever since he was a child he has been helping his parents carrying it voluntarily as he really likes working there, so he spends a lot of time inside the shop. He has quite the business acumen and loves money and hopes to be able to better his family’s average income someday with a business-oriented job. He has a very good relantionship with his parents, especially his mother. His family hails from the US, but he and his sister were born in Japan. Because of their western appearance and names, they have been both seen as outsiders in the village small community and could never really fit in, if not with the other misfits. For that reason he hates using his real name and goes under “Maru” instead, as it’s close to the japanese pronunciation of “Mal”. He and Jyoan have been best friends since kindergarden, and he gets along with his sister a lot too. He’s a very bright, loud and cheerful kid, he’s the friendlist of the trio and he’s the one who accepts Houmei into their group right away. His hobbies include eating and cooking, as well as manga and videogames: one could say he’s a bit more childish than the others, but he’s often more insightful and smarter than people give him credit for. He’s also extremely affectionate and protective of his friends and family. His grade are pretty good, and he’s basically excels in everything his deskmate Jyoan doesn’t and viceversa :D He’s good with maths, science and economics (and English ofc as it’s the language spoken home), while Jyoan is better at humanities and art. He has pretty clear plans for the future and he definitely wants to go to college and land a high-paying job in the economics field, to grant his family and himself financial stability. Much like Houmei, he also falls victim to laziness pretty often, which may be a hindrance to his dreams of success :D (I’ve talked about his hobbies before, I would include that he’s learning to play the piano but wishes to switch to something more “fun”, like drums; he’s also into soccer and baseball and fantasy books/videogames)

Sho'un is 13 going on 14 (his birthday is in December). He’s an only child and his father is a monk and owner of the local temple (in Japan monks can marry and have children). As you can imagine from his appearance and rebellious attitude, he isn’t exactly the dream heir his father wishes, and for that reason his relantionship with his parents are extremely tense. He also tries to avoid being at home as much as possible and sleeps over at either Ganpuku’s or at his cousin Ryuzen’s student apartment in the city(he doesn’t really get along with him all that much, but he likes his cooler roomates better lmao). From a very early age he was considered a “difficult kid” for a his rebellious strike and attraction to… darker things (he’s the type who idolizes yakuza, smokes in the school bathroom and steals shit as a test of courage). For his reason he has a pretty bad reputation in town and peers and thier parents are pretty scared of him. That, coupled with the failed expectations of his parents, just reinforced his bad attitude and made things worse. He used to be pretty lonesome until he became friends with Jyoan and Ganpuku when they started middle school, thanks to their involvement with the music club. In fact music is his biggest passion, he plays bass and guitar and wishes to start a band someday (school band secondary plot? Probably lol). Music and art are the only subjects that interest him, as for the rest he’s a pretty much a slacker who doesn’t put effort in his studies and has terrible grades. He often says that if he can’t make as a musician, he would open a tattoo and piercing studio. Despite his “tough” exterior, he’s actually a pretty laid-back and reserved kid, not very talkative but mindful, and once you get to know him he’s actually very caring and approachable. He’s the type to defend his friends no matter what, and follows his own moral code that doesn’t accept dishonesty nor ambiguity. He has a somewhat melancholic and pessimistic streak that he tries to conceal with his insolence; of all the four he’s the one who has more… grown-up interests (meaning he’s the only one who’s very much into girls, the others are a bit of late-bloomers in comparison^^’); he’s also the one who tries to bond with the older guys via his cousin, and he tries to emulate them. His hobbies include gravure magazines gangster movies, rock and punk music, playing instruments and sketching out tattoo design.

#ibun au #ibun ideas #au ideas #houmei #jyoan #ganpuku #sho'un #i wanted to go more in-depth about their relantionships and friendship #but i feel like i've written so much already orz

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patchworktail · 7 years

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ITS 4:30 AM AND I DONT FEEL LIKE SLEEPING so I’m gonna do this meme that i got tagged for twiCE and totally forgot to do til now!!!! (i had 2 dig through your blogs to find them omg)

ANYWAY i was tagged by both @mooitstimdrake and @cynessie (I MISS U BOTH BTW ❤)

RULES: Share 11 facts about yourself, answer 11 questions provided by the tagger, tag 11 awesome people and leave 11 questions for them to answer!

(I’m gonna skip tagging people/asking 11 questions - 1) because I’m lazy 2) because a lot of people who I would tag either have already been tagged or woN’T DO IT and 3) I have to answer two sets of 11 questions anyway so I’ll let one of those sets take the place of my 11 questions!!)

11 Facts

I was supposed to leave to move into my college 3 days ago but since my college is in Savannah they pushed off move-in/orientation for a weEK BECAUSE OF HURRICANE IRMA AND I’M STILL UPSET/DISAPPOINTED

That being said I’m about to start as a college freshman at art school, planning on majoring in animation! :D

I binged all of Buzzfeed Unsolved in like 2 days and I fuckin LOVE IT

Also BNHA is like my current main obsession???? I fell in love w that anime and uhhhh I’d Die For My Kids

I almost never use skype anymore - I’m always on Discord now (mutuals may add me just message me if you want my tag :3c)

I loooove creating OCs and my main OC is a forest elf named Rally and he’s precious and I LOVE HIM AND COULD TALK ABOUT HIM FOR HOURS (also my best friend @/harpxer and I have a huge ongoing rp with him and her mountain elf oc, Kahl!! they’re really gay)

Hmmm fun fact I guess I’ve been involved with internet communities since I was 10 years old and I made my very first internet friend when I was 10 and we’re still great friends and talk p much every day to this day (hi @/fiishr)

I want a tattoo super bad but idk what I’d geT

I worked at a jewelry engraving stand at an amusement park this summer and one night I accidentally gave myself a 1st degree burn on my finger from the hot glue gun and it hurt So Bad

I had my graduation party this July and it was really fun but the best part was when 14 of us played this giant game of spoons and it got really intense, made worse by people randomly screaming during it, and then we collectively decided to blast hardcore rap music from the speakers and Let Me Tell You i have not been involved in a more stressful card game in my LIFE

I’ll always always always fall for the hero/happy character/protagonist basically....idk what it is about me but I’m so Predictable...I love cute optimistic brave characters who just wanna do Right.....I don’t cARE IF PEOPLE THINK THEY’RE BORING I THINK THEY’RE PERFECT AND AMAZIGN AND I LOVE THEM

AS FOR AN EXTRA 12TH FACT ABOUT ME AS U CAN SEE I WRITE WAY TOO MUCH AND ALSO I’M THE BIGGEST OVERSHARER E V E R IT’S SO BAD SOMEONE STOP ME

ANYWAY ONTO THE QUESTIONS :3c

@mooitstimdrake‘s Questions:

If you were to make a new blog dedicated to one single thing (fandom, hobby/activity, etc) what would it be? Honestly, right at the moment probably BNHA!!!! it’s legit my most recent big obsession and I love it?? so much???

If you could have any kind of animal as a pet, what would you have? A RACCOON!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THEM SOSOSOSOSOS MUCH and some people actually do have them as pets! They can be difficult though but WORTH IT

Who was your favorite teacher and why were they your favorite? OH BOY......I’m gonna say it’s a tie between my AP studio art teacher and my AP US government teacher from this past year, my senior year! My AP art teacher because our class was super tiny, 12 kids, and it really felt like a family?? She was a-okay with letting us all goof around and say weird shit, she was really chill and funny and like. part teacher, part friend, which was always nice. As for my AP gov teacher, he was SO. FUCKING. FUNNY. OH MAN. NOT EVEN ON PURPOSE he just like? put up with SO MUCH? we had some real character kids in that class and my teacher’s reactions were HILARIOUS. he had a sarcastic streak too so his responses were equally as funny when someone did something weird. He would say the funniest stuff just ask @/harpxer I would tell her so many stories from that class sohboshrb. Aside from the humor that class was really interesting, and he’s a really good, invested teacher - he wanted us to learn, he’s super passionate about government and history, and he always started off each class with 2 current events which was really nice and helped me learn more about things happening in the world too!!! overall that was like my fav non-art class I’ve ever taken!!!!

What’s your guilty pleasure (and I’m challenging you not to say some kind of food)? HMMMMM. Honestly I’m gonna go ahead and say really cheesy or lame movies/shows (like, Disney channel movies, dumb shows - like the one summer I watched all of Glee LOL, stuff like that). Like yeah I know 90% of it is terRIBLE but it’s still amusing/lighthearted stuff that makes me happy KLSDJVLSDHB

Favorite pizza topping? EXTRA CHEESE IF THAT COUNTS, if not then pepperoni!!

What’s the last thing you bought (that wasn’t food)? I’ve actually been buying a lot the past few weeks in prep for college/spending a little money for ONCE since I worked all summer. I got a bunch of boring stuff but the things I’m most excited about are: two posters I got for my dorm (The Office is one and one is Lord Huron), a giant wall tapestry (it’s Up themed!!!), tWO BNHA/POKEMON CHARMS THAT CAME TODAY AND EVERY TIME I LOOK AT THEM I START CRYING BC THEYRE SO CUTE, and oh my GOD I BOUGHT THIS GIANT PILLOW FROM TARGET AND IT IS THE SINGLE SOFTEST THING I’VE EVER FELT AND IT’S HUGE AND IT IMMEDIATELY BECAME MY #1 COMFORT OBJECT AND TOP FIVE FAV THINGS IVE EVER BOUGHT!!!!!! I guess MOST recently though I just bought Clip Studio Paint online today (art program) since it’s on sale for 50% off and I’ve heard great things about it!

What upcoming movies/tv shows are you looking forward to? UHHHHH as for movies... justice league part 1, the incredibles 2, kingsman 2, the neW POKEMON MOVIE I CHOOSE YOU, probably a lot more I can’t remember rn. AS FOR SHOWS HMMM I’m...excited for the next season of the good place and izombie, and oh I’m excited for the punisher netflix show!! and the next season of voltron of COURSE!!! and next season of stranger things!! probably more I’m forgetting too tbh

Any recommendations (this could be anything just throw your best pitch at me)? JFISDJKLBJ I DON’T KNOW OMG tbh rachel you watch a lot of the same things I do already LMAOOO

What’s your favorite thing to wear that you own? OH FUCK I DUNNO HMMM I really like wearing my various leggings and scarves, but as like a Single Item....I like wearing....uhhhh I have this giANT sweater like it’s WAY too big for me but it’s so COMFY and I love it. I also love wearing my Star Labs sweatshirt bc it’s soft and comfortable

What was your first pet? my cat!!! we took her in as a stray kitten living in our backyard when I was like. 2 or 3 and so we’ve basically had her my whole life!!

If you could learn any language, what would it be? UHHHHHH honestly probably spanish - I took it 4 straight years and was okay at it in class but one year went by with me not taking it and I forgot everything LOOOL I’m...bad....at languages....

@cynessie‘s Questions:

Where is the coolest place you’ve ever been? I haven’t been many cool places :( I guess the coolest isssss I dunno it depends? Lake George is where I go on vacation every year, I LOVE NYC, I love Savannah too and it’s where I’m gonna be for college so?? ?? ? ? I’VE NEVER BEEN OUT OF THE COUNTRY AND I’M SAD BUT I’M POOR AND CAN’T AFFORD IT

What was the first thing you remember wanting to be when you grew up? veterinarian!!

Look to your right. What do you see? a dirty plate on my desk, my bed just past that, and my CHARMS THAT CAME TODAY THAT ARE SO CUTE I CRY EVERY TIME I SEE THEM

What are you procrastinating on? ajkldjboidj lik e 4 art commissions,,,, and 7 MAP parts,,,, and my pre-work for 2 of my classes,,,,,,,and cleaning my room,,,, and sending thank-you notes to relatives,,, SOMEONE KICK MY ASS AND MAKE ME DO SHIT

Which family member are you closest too and what is their name? UHHHH.... I guess my younger brother Luke? or maybe my mom? I’m not on bad terms with anyone though, I love both my older brothers too and we all have a good sibling relationship I just talk more with my younger bro I think - second closest would be with my second older brother Connor!

What’s the last song you listened to? I’m listening to Ultralife by Oh Wonder right now :3c I’ve been on a huUUGE Oh Wonder kick lately!!

What do you generally carry in your bag/pockets when you go out? my wallet (w my license and money and debit card and all), travel size lotion, phone, and chap stick!!

What is one thing you are excited for? FINALLY GETTING TO COLLEGE NEXT WEEK AND STARTING CLASSES FJIODFHINBDFHBNSBO

Do you believe in ghosts? I’m gonna hesitantly say YES but I’m not 100% convinced I don’t think

What is a skill you want to learn? MAYBE THIS IS WEIRD but I think learning how to act would be kinda neat. On a more realistic note I wish I could learn to exercise without dying

Tell me a joke. I’M BAD AT JOKES DON’T DO THIS TO ME NESSIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SO YEAH THAT’S ALL FOLKS it’s 5am now...Nice..... :’) I love my ability to stay up obscenely late while also getting Nothing Done JLSDNVDHAGHVDLAK

#about me #my life #hell ya i havent done one of these in a while but it was FUN #sorry for not tagging anyone......im lazy.............

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greenhorn-teacher · 4 years

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White People and Our History

My mother was born on July 4th.

Because of this, the 4th has always been a day of celebration for our family. We wake up absurdly early and go to watch a parade, pick up fried chicken for lunch (Dad tries to make it himself every few years and he never really gets it right, so it’s usually drive-through), watch 1776 over the afternoon, and then go to a fireworks show. This is how Mom likes to celebrate her birthday, and so that’s how we’ve celebrated for my entire life. Even during years where political and social issues make it very difficult to be proud of the U.S. and our society, we still had good times every 4th of July.

My dad is also a huge history buff, and every year, while watching 1776 (which if you don’t know is a 1972 movie of a 1969 musical about the writing of the Declaration of Independence), the subject of our ancestry usually comes up. On my mother’s mother’s side, my brothers and I are descended from one of George Washington’s generals in the Revolutionary War. We’re also descended from at least one of the signers of the Declaration of Independence itself (maybe two - my granddad was never the kind of guy to make stuff up, but we haven’t found a solid link to one of the two signers that he says we’re descended from). Three big figures in American history and mythology are among our ancestors.

Thing is, two out of three owned slaves.

Both of the signers of the Declaration, both the one that we know is our ancestor and the one we’re not 100% sure on, owned slaves. PolitiFact put out an article in late 2019 about that, if you want me to back it up. Jury’s out on the general, but there’s a non-zero chance that we’re three for three on slaveowners. Further complicating my feelings about my ancestry is my dad’s side. On dad’s side, we’re descended from plantation owners. They owned a pretty sizable plantation up until the early 1900s, when there were too many inheritors to keep the property in one piece and my great-a-few-times grandfather sold his plot. My family, both sides, is tainted by slavery and racism.

Now I’ve known about this since late middle school/early high school, and I’ve more or less made my peace with this knowledge. This is NOT to say that I in any way approve of what they did. Slavery is, was, and always will be one of the most horrific institutions to exist on this earth. But I was able to recognize that having bad ancestors doesn’t make me bad by default, something that many other Southerners seem to have trouble with (in my opinion, one of the biggest reasons the South has so much trouble with admitting the Confederacy was a super bad thing is because that means their ancestors were bad and therefore the present generation must be bad as a result, which is obviously untrue. The present generation is awful all on its own merits, but THAT’S ANOTHER POST). For my high school career, this was something that I knew in the back of my mind but it was never really relevant to my life.

Fast forward to college. In freshman orientation, I met my current partner, though we didn’t start dating until just after Spring Break freshman year. My partner is Latinx, and we share a number of interests, including literary analysis, superheroes, and historical discussion. One day, sophomore year, we were talking about ancestry, specifically about how, as a result of European colonization, my partner has zero clue what the family tree looks like more than a couple generations back. This is in stark contrast to my own experience, because I can track my family tree back almost 250 years, and could go even further if I wanted to put some more effort into it. Precious few people of color in the U.S. can trace their ancestry back even a few generations as a result of European colonization, while many white families can go back generations. Ever since my partner and I had this conversation, it’s been a running joke in our relationship that if my ancestors could see me dating my Latinx partner they would die from scandalized shock. Since my partner particularly enjoys scandalizing racist old white men, this is a definite win.

This ultimately came to a head on the 4th of July, 2020. The Summer of Covid, when a global pandemic swept across the world and the U.S. fell apart at the seams. My family knew that we weren’t going to be able to safely attend any parades or fireworks, so instead we had an at-home party. My partner was invited, provided both our families self-quarantined for two weeks ahead of time and none of us at home tested positive. Both criteria were met, and so my partner came over for the day. It was all great fun, we still managed to get fried chicken because our favorite restaurant was able to open for a couple weeks in the middle of the summer, and we had steaks (my partner’s favorite food of all time) for dinner. That afternoon, while we were watching 1776, the family started to talk about our ancestry. We got on the subject while listening to the songs in the movie, and how some of the songs, like “But, Mr. Adams,” have lyrics that lean towards the raunchy, which we never noticed as kids. That then shifted the conversation to the song “Molasses to Rum,” which is one of the most uncomfortable songs for any white person to hear because it’s the Founding Fathers singing about why slavery is really a good thing (spoiler alert: IT’S NOT). No matter how uncomfortable it made us, though, we all agreed it was still something we should watch and be aware of, because as my late granddad pointed out, “It’s still history.” It happened, and pretending it didn’t is supremely damaging to our understanding of history and our society as a whole today.

The whole thing stuck in my head, though, because by that point I had been with my partner for 4 years and was getting ready to propose. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I wanted to marry my amazing Latinx partner, and while we joke often about what the look on my ancestors’ faces would be the solemn truth is that a century ago, we would be lucky to only be disowned by our families over our relationship. Before June 12th, 1967 when the Supreme Court struck down the anti-miscegenation laws in Loving v. Virginia, our relationship would have gotten us arrested. Living in the South, maybe we’d have been killed by a mob. Any children we have would be a mix of white and Latinx, and would never be accepted by my family. Unless they were pale enough to pass as white, neither would they be accepted by society at large. My family of 250 years ago was racist. My family of a hundred years ago was made up of racists. And as much as I love my grandparents, a small, guilty part of me feels relieved that they passed away before I met my partner because I’d be willing to bet money they were racist, too, and this way I don’t have to find out if they were.

The point of my telling you this story is this. If you are white in the United States of America, and your family goes back more than three or four generations, then you come from racist roots. At the time of the Revolutionary War, both the North and South had significant slave populations. There were still some slaves in the North as of the Civil War, and while Lincoln’s Emancipation Proclamation declared the slaves of the Confederacy to be free, slaves in the North stayed slaves until the 13th Amendment. Even after slavery was officially ended, society deliberately built systems that kept former slaves and other people of color below white people. The Jim Crow laws in the South are the most strident examples, but the North wasn’t innocent in this. Segregation was a national phenomenon, but even after it ended in the 1960s people were still racist. Even through the 70s and 80s, up to the turn of the millennium and into the present day, racism exists. Some of it is easy to spot, people loudly shouting racist slurs at anyone they see as lesser. Some of it is less so, such as a family being 100% for equality until they have a black neighbor, or their kids start dating a person of color, and then suddenly they’re awkward about it.

To any white people reading this, you have to understand, our ancestors were racist. Maybe they were the loud, easy to spot kind. Maybe they were the quieter kind, and only displayed this in smaller ways. That doesn’t change that they were. And this is something that we have to come to terms with. We cannot pretend otherwise, or tell ourselves that our ancestors couldn’t have been bad because some of them didn’t own slaves. Owning slaves is not a prerequisite for racism, and even people who never owned a single person could engage in racist behaviors. But bad ancestors do not make for bad descendants. We are not automatically bad because our roots are bad. We can be good people, and should be good people. If something you’re doing would upset your racist ancestors, you’re probably doing something right.

Because my family today is accepting in ways that my family of a century ago would never be, any child of my partner and I will grow up with a large, loving family, supported by four grandparents who will accept them regardless of the color of their skin. It might not seem like it, but I do believe our current generation is in a better place than previous ones were. That said, we are far from perfect, and there is work to be done still. Racism, obvious and otherwise, is still prevalent in the world, and since our ancestors are the ones that messed up the world, then we should do what we can to undo their work. Hopefully, someday soon the ghosts of the racist slaveowning Founding Fathers will look upon a country where we all live together in a truly equal and fair society, and they’ll be so scandalized by what they see they’ll die all over again.

TL;DR: We as white people need to come to terms with the fact that our ancestors were racist and work to undo what they did, because pretending that they weren’t racist is detrimental to our understanding of history and the state of society today.

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justzara · 4 years

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is that [zendaya]? no, that’s just [zaranyika “zara” gunda]. [she/they] is/are [twenty two] years old and is/are a [part time student, odd job-er, & aspiring podcaster]. rumor has it they’ve been in town for [14 years]. on a good day, they’re [introspective & inquisitive]. but watch out! they can also be [detached & controlling]. [summer depression by girl in red] plays in my head whenever i think of them. can’t wait to see them around springhill!

[rae, 22, est, she/they]

tw: drugs, emotional abuse, lgbtq issues, homophobia

about zara

As much as Zara likes to put on a brave face, inside, she’s hurting. Her mom is a junkie and left her and her dad when she was 8, and her dad hasn’t been the same since. He’s super controlling and can be emotionally abusive towards her.

Zara has a pretty logical mind, despite her emotions having such a tight grip on her, and she likes to know how things will end before she puts her all into it. She’s scared of the unknown. After her mom left, her dad sorta gave up on all the childhood memories and duties, other than being strict with her and forcing her to only focus on school. The only extracurriculars he allowed her to do were student government and debate club. And funnily enough, she ended up really loving them in the end, which is why she is studying Business Management in college - at Springhill’s community college.

Due to her missing out on the childhood aspects of her past, Zara taught herself how to ride a bike. She learned to forge her father’s name for detention slips and tardy notes. She accepted to not expect her father to show up to any of her basketball games. Zara had learned, at a young age, to not get her hopes up because that only led to disappointment. The only person she could truly trust was herself.

When she was 15 years old, Zara had first learned the word “non-binary” and took comfort in the idea of not having to choose between identifying herself as solely male or female. Zara uses both she/her and they/them pronouns, and she appreciates when her friends ask her which pronouns she’d like to use that day. Lately and in general, she tends to use she/her, as she’s comfortable with presenting her feminine side in that way and masculine & non-binary sides via the clothes she wears. As for her sexuality, she’s always known, subconsciously, that she has drifted more towards liking girls than boys, but she’s open to all kinds of love, as well.

As far as her working life goes, she likes to be self-sufficient and does odd jobs around town (she’s taught herself a lot of tricks n hobbies n stuff in general lol bc she’d often have to spend a lot of time at home, following her dad’s orders). She’s good with cars (she’s hoping to buy and refurbish an RV so she can travel more - inspo), tutoring, babysitting (she prefers ages 5 and up), pet sitting, cleaning/organizing (when it’s not her own room lol), some technological stuff, etc etc. And she’s still learning more so she can work more!

TW: drugs!!!! (Xanax, Adderall, brief mention of heroin, marijuana)

Zara, unfortunately, has always second-guessed herself. Being a product of a dead-beat mother and insanely strict father may have something to do with that. She had always toyed with the idea of trying drugs, as she wanted to feel closer to her mother and figure out why she chose them over her family. Zara’s first experimentation with any kind of drug was Xanx, which she bought from the weird drug dealer in her freshman orientation class in college. Her second drug of choice was Adderall, to help her get through her first finals week. Things kept escalating from there. Her cut-off point, however, was heroin. She promised herself that she’d never shoot up; she liked being high and dulling her feelings...but she didn’t want to die, persay, and heroin seemed like a death sentence to her. Also, the few times that she’s smoked pot, she’s gotten paranoid, so she tends to stay away from that as well.

wanted connections

i think imma make a separate page on her blog specifically for wc’s - sooooo stay tuned!!

ooc / final notes

omg if you’ve read this far, THANK U SM!!! we’re basically friends bc ur the real MVP :’) pls pls plsssss message me if you’d like to plot w my bb!!

fun fact: zara is the love child of MJ (spiderman), Rue (euphoria), and myself (esp LGBTQIA+ related, as I’m figuring that out, too, like her!!) if you ever would like to talk to someone (a new friend :D aka me lol) about LGBTQIA+ stuff, mental health stuff & staying positive during these #rough times, or gush about our love of zendaya, sabrina carpenter, harry potter series, etc etc -- then pls message me!!! we don’t have to talk solely about the rp/our charries (although i’d be 100000% okay w that uwu) bc i LOVE making new friends :D and some of my bffs are writing buddies i’ve met online! yayyayayyy

okayyyy rambling done !! ttyl hopefully :D

love always, rae xx

UPDATE 7/13/20

xyz

#ooc #intro #springhillintro #springhillcall #springhillooc #springhillstarter #tw: drugs #tw: emotional abuse #tw: drug abuse #tw: lgtbqia+ issues #tw: lgbtq issues #tw: homophobia #tw: mental health #tw: mental illness #// i hope i got them all in there !! (TWs)

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feedbaylenny · 6 years

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This is my 90th blog post and like most journalists, I identify mistakes all over and somehow — often through publicity — try to get them fixed. But not on this milestone. There’s too much good to write about.

I also want to point out the page CohenConnect Headlines Sitemap has a list of all the blog posts I’ve written and published over the past 3+ years, in chronological order. Nobody — early readers nor myself — can remember everything I’ve done and there hadn’t been a place to look. The right side of what you’re reading (or bottom on mobile) just show the past 10 and the most popular. A regular “sitemap” of category words is well below, on the bottom of the right side (or the bottom on mobile). But the “search” box also works very well, contains both categories and tags, and maybe more.

So staying positive, let’s honor some heroes with this post. These days, there are too few and far between. I remember years ago, while working at WCAU in Philadelphia, Larry Mendte saying on the air with such certainty, “Heroes never admit they are,” or something to that effect.

I’ll start by setting something straight. Two survivors of the Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School massacre in Florida posed for a picture with the caption Prom 2018, but they won’t be going together.

https://twitter.com/cameron_kasky/status/988454056615202817

That’s despite what Pink News in the UK reported Tuesday, to the disappointment of Cameron Kasky and David Hogg’s many fans.

The publication describes Kasky “lovingly hugging Hogg, who contrasts Kasky’s sloppy smile with a stair which pierces your soul.”

Monday, Kasky posted the picture on Twitter. Click here for that original article, which may not be true, but contained a lot of positive reaction from hopeful supporters.

Yesterday, the Miami Herald wrote,

“Rebecca Boldrick, Hogg’s mother, told TMZ.com that Hogg has another date for the prom. “Jeff Kasky, Cameron’s dad, told TMZ, ‘Cameron and David love each other very much, as do the 20 or so other kids that are part of their group, but not in a romantic type of way.’”

Then, Cameron’s mother, who has been a friend for about 40 years, posted a picture of the two of them titled “My date” Tuesday night. I’m not naming her because she has not put her name out in the public.

You watched Kasky dress down Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.) in a CNN town hall for refusing to refuse contributions from the National Rifle Association. In fact, what it took for Cameron to try to get a simple “yes” or “no” answer to his question from a sitting U.S. senator and former presidential candidate from his own state was amazing!

Fellow survivor Hogg also became a gun control advocate and activist against gun violence, but he has been more controversial. New to Florida — his family moved from L.A. at the start of high school — he chose to attend Stoneman Douglas because of its TV production classes.

Hogg may be most famous for what The Washington Post called his “dust-up with Fox News host Laura Ingraham,” who used this tweet to “make fun of the teen’s public lament about being rejected by colleges to which he had applied.”

https://twitter.com/IngrahamAngle/status/979021639458459648

(It really won’t matter because he plans to take next year off after high school to campaign in the midterm elections.)

The next day, Ingraham apologized to Hogg but not anybody else she’d put down over the years, including LeBron James, and by then it was too late.

https://twitter.com/IngrahamAngle/status/979404377730486272

https://twitter.com/IngrahamAngle/status/979404540754657280

So, knowing how TV and news are businesses that revolve around money (Where have you heard that multiple times before?), he urged his 700,000+ Twitter followers to boycott Ingraham’s advertisers.

https://twitter.com/davidhogg111/status/979168957180579840

The Washington Post noted, Hogg called the apology an insincere “effort just to save your advertisers.”

Then, “In a matter of days, Ingraham lost more than a dozen advertisers, including Johnson & Johnson, Nestlé, Hulu, Jenny Craig, Ruby Tuesday and Miracle-Ear.”

https://twitter.com/LibertyMutual/status/979811276003205121

That weekend, Hogg told CNN,

“It’s disturbing to know that somebody can bully so many people and just get away with it, especially to the level that she did. … No matter who somebody is, no matter how big or powerful they may seem, a bully is a bully, and it’s important that you stand up to them.”

He even went as far as to compare the tweet and Ingraham’s criticism of him, saying they “were in line with bullying statements she had made about others: a conflict with gays while she was at Dartmouth in 1984 and, recently, responding to LeBron James’s political statements by saying that the NBA star should ‘shut up and dribble.’”

“I’m glad to see corporate America standing with me and the other students of Parkland and everybody else. Because when we work together, we can accomplish anything.”

Then Ingraham took a week off. Fox claimed the vacation had been planned.

Hogg, now 18, has already made political change.

When Leslie Gibson, who was running unopposed for the Maine House of Representatives, described fellow Parkland student Emma González as a “skinhead lesbian,” Hogg called for somebody to challenge the Republican. He got not one but two other candidates, and Gibson dropped out of the race in response to public reaction critical of his comments.

Today, a little more controversy. The conservative network The Blaze is reporting,

“The Zionist Organization of America is calling on Parkland survivor and activist David Hogg to change the name of his forthcoming book, as it believes that the title shows ‘shocking insensitivity to Holocaust survivors.’ “Random House publishers announced Thursday that David and his sister Lauren had penned a deal with the publishing house to release a book, #NEVERAGAIN: A New Generation Draws the Line, June 5.”

Lauren is a freshman survivor.

https://twitter.com/davidhogg111/status/986682645814956032

According to The Blaze, Random House said it plans to make a donation to Everytown for Gun Safety.

The Blaze also reports the book is being described as

“a statement of generational purpose, and a moving portrait of the birth of a new movement.” “In times of struggle and tragedy, we can come together in love and compassion for each other,” David told Entertainment Weekly. “We can see each other not as political symbols, but as human beings. And then, of course, there will be times when we simply must fight for what is right.” Sister Lauren added, “It’s amazing to see that so much love can come from so much loss. But from our loss, our generation will create positive change.”

But I’ve had an issue with using the phrase “never again” since it has always referred to one event: the murders of 6 million Jews and millions of others in the Nazis’ organized extermination campaign during World War II. Personally, I think the book title should be changed, and don’t think the phrase should be used in any other matter, but don’t doubt Hogg’s sincerity about the gun issue.

The ZOA said in part,

“By co-opting ‘Never Again’ title for his book opposing guns, David Hogg trivializes the holocaust” and the Hoggs’ book title “offends Holocaust survivors, Jews, and all human rights-loving people.”

Those are sections the Glenn Beck-founded network chose to highlight, due to its own agenda.

Click here for the complete press release issued yesterday, which also said,

“This statement should not be construed as in any way lessening our shock, outrage and pain regarding the Parkland school shooting. ZOA completely sympathizes with the loving, bereft families and all the infinitely precious victims of the Parkland shooting, all other school shootings, and all other shootings. All affected by these tragedies are in our hearts and prayers. … “It is an expression that should never be politicized or co-opted by anyone, regardless of political affiliation. … “The Holocaust was unique and unprecedented, in that: it involved a ‘final solution’ designed to murder every single Jewish man, woman and child; Jews were the only people killed for the ‘crime’ of existing; the murder of Jews was an ‘end in itself’ rather than a means to some other goal; and the people who carried out the ‘Final Solution’ were primarily average citizens ‘just doing a job.’ None of the other terrible slaughters and genocides this world has witnessed share all these characteristics.”

We’ll see what happens.

A third of the 20 founding members of the group Never Again MSD is activist Emma González, who has also had to deal with criticism of her bisexual orientation, hairstyle and more, including this.

The Washington Post reported,

“A doctored animation of González tearing the U.S. Constitution in half circulated on social media during the rally, after it was lifted from a Teen Vogue story about teenage activists. In the real image, González is ripping apart a gun-range target.”

I guess you could say desperate liars were targeting her because they had nothing better.

The group was promoting the March 24 “March for Our Lives” rallies in which even the president’s daughter, Tiffany Trump, supported. I traced how this posting came to be.

https://twitter.com/ashleyfeinberg/status/977696844187885569

Kasky, Hogg and González — along with fellow students Jacqueline Cohen and Alex Wind — even made Time magazine‘s list of the 100 most influential people in the world for becoming prominent activists, organizing protests, and speaking out publicly to demand stricter laws on gun control.

Time wrote in an article, How we chose the 2018 TIME 100 list of the world’s most influential people: “Barack Obama, who has said that his greatest frustration as President was the failure of commonsense gun-safety laws, draws inspiration from the Parkland, Fla., teenagers who organized the March for Our Lives: ‘They have the power … to reject the old constraints, outdated conventions and cowardice too often dressed up as wisdom.’” Click here for the Time article about the Parkland 5.

Mashable went back further, writing the former president…

https://twitter.com/BarackObama/status/966704319658647553

and first lady…

https://twitter.com/MichelleObama/status/966483852834287621

“both tweeted support for the Parkland teens following the deadly shooting, and wrote them a handwritten letter in praise of their ‘resilience, resolve and solidarity.’”

Notice the dates on everything. The attack took place on Feb. 14.

Mashable included a typed version of the letter, for those of you having trouble with Mr. Obama’s handwriting, and also a look at celebrities joining in at the March for Our Lives.

https://twitter.com/mic/status/976502415376703488

Even former NFL placekicker Jay Feely needs a lesson on seriousness, after The Sporting News showed a tweet he posted. It showed a “photo of him holding a gun while standing between his daughter and her prom date” that was intended to be a joke.

https://twitter.com/jayfeely/status/987853794221350912

Feely should know better. He’s from Florida, grew up there and spent a year with the Miami Dolphins. The next day, he clarified what had happened.

https://twitter.com/jayfeely/status/988067986115149824

On a more positive note, the South Florida Sun-Sentinel reports the prom will be an “over-the-top” party with a touching tribute, and students promising the best prom ever, after 17 people were shot to death at their school on Valentine’s Day. Four seniors were killed. So were seven freshman (that will be some prom in three years), plus three other students and two adults.

Eventually, the prom committee wanted to recognize the tragedy that’ll mark their high school memories. There will be a memorial near the entrance to the ballroom. It’ll also include two members of their class who died in 2016 of cystic fibrosis and suicide. The memorial will be surrounded by couches and designated as a quiet place to sit and think.

Inside, the prom will be stopped by 17 seconds of silence.

It also won’t be expensive. The cost: Just $30 per ticket, and $50 for non-seniors. The hotel, DJ, florist, decorator, and other vendors are donating their services for free or at cost, and the hotel is giving families of the senior victims a free weekend of their choice.

Good for all of them!

Marjory Stoneman Douglas survivors, along with high school students from around the country, were not even born 19 years ago during the Columbine High School shooting in Littleton, Colo.

(I remember it like yesterday. I had returned from vacation, was working at WCAU, and our news anchor Renee Chenault happened to be from Littleton. She ended up going there to report from her hometown, but being local news, did not get the publicity of Katie Couric for touching the hand of a victim’s father on the Today show.)

There were an estimated 150,000 students protesting on Friday’s anniversary at more than 2,700 walkouts, according to organizers.

The Chicago Tribune, in an Associated Press article published Friday afternoon, said,

“In a new wave of school walkouts, they raised their voices against gun violence. But this time, they were looking to turn outrage into action.” The students, “turned their attention to upcoming elections as they pressed for tougher gun laws and politicians who will enact them. Scores of rallies turned into voter registration drives. Students took the stage to issue an ultimatum to their lawmakers.”

Activists behind a March 14 protest, a month after Stoneman Douglas, estimated it drew nearly 1 million students.

(I find it interesting The Chicago Tribune used an Associated Press article, while I learned Chicago’s Fox TV station asked the other Fox stations for a story they could post on their website, because they were apparently unable to write one of their own. Were there no rallies anywhere near Chicago? Probably plenty, considering the numbers above! At minimum, I would’ve shown the big one around town and then another in a zip code they wanted to target for ratings. Even chopper video would’ve done the job except for hearing the students tell their reasons for walking out, firsthand. But we know how Fox stations operate with sharing web articles. It seems at this point, they’ve become dependent on their sister-stations rather than even try to do the work. I love how so many of today’s young people are the opposite of this kind of corporate laziness!)

The Washington Post noted, “Critics have questioned whether … the high school students demanding that the nation’s gun laws be strengthened are mature enough to understand the complex policy positions they have staked out.”

Isn’t this exactly what we want from our young people? To think, investigate and reconsider if necessary? And don’t these particular students who experienced what they did have unique insight on the issue? Yet some people feel the need to criticize them. Maybe it’s because they need to be heard. Maybe because these grown-ups really have not grown up and are jealous. Or maybe because “the kids are alright” and and it simply bothers them because they have issues of their own.

How much are they bothered?

Click here for “Ted Nugent says Parkland students ‘have no soul,’ calls them ‘mushy-brained children’” (The Washington Post, March 31, 2018).

Nugent, perhaps the NRA’s most outspoken board member, told a San Antonio radio station, “These poor children, I’m afraid to say, but the evidence is irrefutable. They have no soul,” after discussing with the host their belief the teenagers have been manipulated by left-wing ideologues.

“The lies from these poor, mushy-brained children who have been fed lies and parrot lies,” Nugent said. “I really feel sorry for them. It’s not only ignorant, dangerous and stupid — it’s soulless. To attack the good, law-abiding families of America when well-known, predictable murderers commit these horrors is deep in the category of soulless.”

Click here for “How the Parkland teens became villains on the right-wing Internet” (The Washington Post, March 26, 2018).

If ardent NRA supporters don’t lose now, or in this year’s midterms, or even the 2020 presidential election, they should absolutely know the demographics of this country are changing. Eventually, they will lose to people who have felt real pain and others of that generation. It’s going to happen, whether they’ll consider themselves martyrs, or if they’re even alive to feel any suffering from their defeat.

Wikipedia

Also a hero: Last week, the pilot of Southwest Airlines flight 1380, Captain Tammie Jo Shults, landed her plane calmly and successfully, on just one engine, here in Philadelphia. She saved 148 lives.

The trouble on the flight from New York to Dallas started when one of its engines appeared to explode in midair. The only person killed was passenger Jennifer Riordan who was partially sucked out of a broken window. That was extraordinary despite the tragedy.

https://twitter.com/SouthwestAir/status/986788359350751232

https://twitter.com/SouthwestAir/status/987487170947637248

YouTube

According to The Guardian, “Those present recalled that after the plane had landed, Shults walked through the aisle to talk to them, to see how they were doing.”

Talk about responsibility AND customer service!

Turns out, The Guardian continued,

“Shults was one of the first female fighter pilots in the US Navy and was elite enough to fly an F/A-18 Hornet. She flew training missions as an ‘enemy pilot’ during Operation Desert Storm, as women were then still excluded from combat missions.”

Also not to be forgotten is the heroism of Waffle House diner James Shaw Jr. Early Sunday morning, outside Nashville, he was sitting with a friend at the restaurant counter when police said a gunman wearing nothing but a green jacket opened fire outside.

As CNN reported, “Glass shattered, dust swirled and Shaw said he saw a man lying on the ground.”

Four people were killed.

https://twitter.com/MNPDNashville/status/988000352741003264

CNN continued, Shaw

“bolted from his seat and slid along the ground to the restroom, he said. But he kept an eye and an ear out for the gunman. And the moment the shooter paused, Shaw decided to ambush him … before more lives were lost.”

He charged at the man with the rifle. They fought. Finally, Shaw said he managed to wrestle the barrel of the rifle from the gunman, tossed it behind the counter and the shooter escaped.

https://twitter.com/MNPDNashville/status/988055742363193344

“The gun was hot and he was naked but none of that mattered,” Shaw said, with a burn on his hand a wound on his elbow where a bullet grazed it.

He told reporters,

“I figured if I was going to die, he was going to have to work for it. … I was just trying to live.”

https://twitter.com/MNPDNashville/status/988476776316841984

Travis Jeffrey Reinking, 29, was arrested Monday, after a 34-hour manhunt.

https://twitter.com/MNPDNashville/status/988916197411508224

NBC News pointed out he went from wearing only a green jacket to a green “suicide smock — a padded gown made from heavy-duty polyester that is held together with Velcro strips.”

If you are of a certain age, you remember Schoolhouse Rock! from ABC on Saturday mornings. The jazz musician who was instrumental in that cartoon series died Monday in Mount Bethel, Pa., 92 miles and an hour-and-a-half drive from Philadelphia.

Bob Dorough was 94.

Wikipedia

Simple Wikipedia

Schoolhouse Rock! ran from 1973 to 1985. The cartoons, including “My Hero, Zero” and “Three is a Magic Number,” (the first in the series) were written and performed by Dorough.

His biography says he “entertained and instructed unsuspecting children.”

Schoolhouse Rock! came back for another five years in the 1990s and its 40th anniversary was marked with a DVD edition of the entire five subject series.

Has a Schoolhouse Rock! tune ever helped you on a test? Do you have a favorite? I especially liked how a bill became a law (“I’m Just a Bill”) and “Conjunction Junction.”

Wikipedia

Finally, there’s the Wells Fargo Center in Philadelphia, site of last night’s Sixers playoff game where they eliminated the Miami Heat. Actually, the topic is replacement names, and Wells Fargo is not a very good corporate citizen.

I have always been against companies buying names for stadiums and liked it when NBC Sports, before losing the NFL in 1998, made it a point of not referring to the names of stadiums but just the city, unless there was confusion between different stadiums.

Philly.com says its readers suggest either Wilt Chamberlain, Sam Hinkie or Ed Snider.

Wikimedia Commons

The stadium, where the Flyers played hockey until their season ended earlier this week, is named for Wells Fargo which is a big bank in Philadelphia and many other cities. Before that, it was named Wachovia. Before that, First Union. FU Center had something special to it. And before that, CoreStates. Just shows you how banks take each other over and waste money having to change the names on every branch and piece of real estate, including the ones they sponsor or use to advertise.

Speaking of money, Wells Fargo was in trouble yet again for what the website called “scams that targeted its own customers,” specifically its mortgage and auto insurance practices. The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau and the Office of the Comptroller of the Currency made the accusations and ordered the bank to make restitution, plus pay the regulators $1 billion in fines. Wells Fargo did not admit or deny any allegations.

Just two years ago, Wells Fargo’s employees recused of secretly opening more than 2 million deposit and credit card accounts to meet their sales targets and receive bonuses. The bank had to pay $185 million to settle those allegations. It also fired about 5,300 employees for doing what may have been their jobs. In that case as well, Wells Fargo did not admit or deny allegations.

San Francisco-based Wells Fargo has been the nation’s third largest bank by assets.

Wikipedia

FYI, the late Wilt Chamberlain played for the San Francisco/Philadelphia Warriors and the Philadelphia 76ers, and is widely considered one of the greatest and most dominant players in NBA history. He still holds the single-game scoring record, having scored 100 in one game. It happened March 2, 1962, in Hershey, Pa. against the New York Knicks. The Philadelphia Warriers moved west to San Francisco after that season.

Twitter

Sam Hinkie was General Manager and President of Basketball Operations of the Philadelphia 76ers. He graduated from the Stanford Graduate School of Business and led the Sixers to some lousy seasons, but the team rebounded from what he left behind. In 2015, ESPN named Hinkie’s Sixers as the major professional sports franchise that had most embraced analytics.

Wikipedia

And the late Ed Snider helped build the Spectrum and owned the Flyers, the Wells Fargo Center and a lot more. Wikipedia noted, “In a 1999 Philadelphia Daily News poll, Snider was selected as the city’s greatest sports mover and shaker, beating out legends such as Connie Mack, Sonny Hill, Bert Bell, and Roger Penske.”

Click here for several other readers’ thoughts on new names, some more serious than others!

Please, if you like what you read here, subscribe to CohenConnect.com with either your email address or WordPress account, and get a notice whenever I publish.

Who says everything I write is negative, but correct? This is my 90th blog post and like most journalists, I identify mistakes all over and somehow -- often through publicity -- try to get them fixed.

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passportandplates · 6 years

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Disclosure: I was a guest of San Francisco Travel. All opinions and recommendations are my own. This post also contains affiliate links.

Despite having lived in California for most of my life (including a stint in San Francisco when I was young and adorable), most of my infrequent trips to San Francisco included the same old things. The Golden Gate Bridge. Fisherman’s Wharf. Ghirardelli Square. The list goes on and on. But, I never really took the time to get off the beaten path in San Francisco (apologies for the cliché expression) and see what hidden gems the city has to offer.

So when San Francisco Travel asked if I wanted to come up for a long weekend for a tour of ��Unexpected San Francisco,” I responded with a resounding yes. Why would you say no to The City by the Bay?

So, whether you’re headed to San Francisco for the first time or the tenth be sure to get off the beaten path and add these hidden gems to your itinerary.

San Francisco, Off the Beaten Path: Best Things to Do

The Hornblower Brunch Cruise

SO cold

They followed us all around The Bay!

I think we can all agree that brunch is one of the best weekend meals. And if you’re in San Francisco, you should definitely do some sort of tour of the Bay. But as a famous commercial/meme once asked: “Porque no los dos?” Well, you can totally do los dos on the Hornblower Brunch Cruise, a two-hour yacht cruise around the Bay, complete with a brunch buffet, live music, and gorgeous views of San Francisco. I liked that I could pop out to the outer deck to get photos, but once I got cold (which took exactly 3 minutes), I could go back inside and enjoy the views from my table. Get tickets to the cruise here.

SFMOMA

One of my favorite exhibits

Colors!

Is SFMOMA technically off the beaten path? Well, it depends who you ask, I suppose. Although I’m not a huge museum person and I really don’t get modern art, I have to admit that this museum is pretty cool. It was closed for three years for renovation and re-opened May of 2016. It was also just added to CityPass, effective March 1st. Some of the exhibitions were fascinating, others confusing (that’s modern art for you), but I loved that there was a huge variety of media formats at the museum, meaning I could skip the mysterious modern art pieces and enjoy photography and sculptures instead.

Although we didn’t have enough time to go, the SFMOMA also has this amazing Michelin-star restaurant called In Situ, where the chef has curated 80 dishes from some of the best restaurants worldwide. Such an innovative concept!

Alcatraz Behind the Scenes Tour

Behind the scenes

Going through the tunnels

Inside the prison

Visiting Alcatraz, the infamous former maximum-security prison on an island, definitely requires some planning ahead. I should know because I’d never managed to visit before this trip since tickets were always sold out by the time I got around to purchasing them. So my first tip for visiting Alcatraz is to buy your tickets ahead of time. My second tip is to do the Behind-the-Scenes tour because it is SO cool. You’re led through the island in small groups by a licensed ranger or docent and get to access all these tunnels and hidden passageways that most tour-goers don’t get to see. Even if you’ve already visited Alcatraz before, this is a great way to get a different experience of the island.

Onsen SF

Vibes

Probably one of the most unexpected places I visited in San Francisco was Onsen, the Japanese bathhouse located in the back of the Japanese-American fusion restaurant with the same name. Just to be clear, I was given a tour of Onsen but didn’t use the bath or try the food here, but I do think it’s a really cool place and I’d be interested in visiting on my next trip. Essentially, the front of Onsen is a restaurant, serving Japanese fusion small plates in a café-type ambiance. In the back is a traditional Japanese bathhouse, complete with a steam room, sauna, shower, and bathing pool. To top it all off, it’s located in The Tenderloin, making it the clear winner for unexpected, off-the-beaten-path San Francisco.

Lands End

So glad it ended up being a nice day today!!! ⛅️☀️ there was still a bit of a breeze 💨but it wasn’t as freezing as it has been lately.😁

A post shared by Blonde 💁🏼‍♀️Hair💕San Fran 🌉 (@beautybyboskie) on Feb 27, 2018 at 6:40pm PST

Lands End is another one of those spots that most locals know about and most tourists don’t. This gorgeous park is home to several hiking trails with some beautiful views of the Golden Gate Bridge and the Bay. There’s also a short trail that leads down to the Sutro Baths, which were the world’s largest indoor swimming pool in 1894. The hikes themselves are leisurely and are an excellent way to get some fresh air away from the city center.

The Golden Gate Fortune Cookie Factory

Giant fortune cookies from an impromptu visit to the tiny Chinatown factory. 🥠💥

A post shared by 7×7 (@7x7bayarea) on Jan 23, 2018 at 2:58pm PST

Fact: Fortune cookies were NOT invented in China but instead, in San Francisco’s Chinatown. I learned this the hard way when I went to China during my freshman year in college. It was like learning Santa Claus isn’t real. But I digress. The point is, this is one of the only places you can still find handmade fortune cookies in the country, and yes, you do get (fortune-less) samples. But the fun is in the variety of flavors and sizes, so bring home a bunch to share (or to eat yourself, I don’t judge).

The 16th Avenue Tiled Steps

Some called it the hidden garden steps, but google map called it 16th avenue tiled steps, its a 163 steps stairway with a following sea to star mosaic design. . Located in a quiet residential neighborhood, at the 16th avenue (hence the name), just 5 minutes walk from bus stop. . Definitely a place for a photo opp 😁 . 📍San Francisco, California ⏱ Feb 2018 . . . #travel #travelgram #traveladdict #travellife #travelphotography #travelawesome #travelgram #traveltheworld #travelrack #instatravel #instatravelling #instapassport #igtravel #welivetoexplore #theglobewanderer #roamtheplanet #doyoutravel #landscape #outdoors #allisthattravel #discoverglobe #discoverearth #neverstopexploring #sanfrancisco #16thavenuetiledsteps #steps #stairs

A post shared by Faj (@fajargpjkt) on Feb 26, 2018 at 8:08pm PST

Located on Moraga St. between 15th & 16th Avenue, this staircase is a neighborhood community project that officially opened in 2005. With over 2,000 handmade tiles and 163 steps, it’s truly a work of art that showcases the power of community. Please note: these steps are located in a residential area and are first and foremost a community art initiative. Therefore, please be respectful of the neighbors and to the steps themselves so they can stay clean and beautiful for everyone to enjoy.

Tenderloin Walking Tour and The Tenderloin Museum

Spotted in The Tenderloin

If you’ve ever heard anything about The Tenderloin District, it likely wasn’t good. In fact, many people would say avoid it altogether and normally, I’d be inclined to agree. However, if you’re truly interested in learning more about this “scary” neighborhood, I recommend a visit to The Tenderloin Museum. Inside, there are a variety of exhibits showcasing significant historical events and people from the neighborhood, along with stories and news pieces on how it evolved to its current state. The Museum also hosts a series of walking tours that shed even further light on The Tenderloin.

Note: Although I experienced the more artistic side of The Tenderloin though a tour led by The Tenderloin Community Benefit District, I’m going to be frank and say that the museum and walking tour is not your “typical” tourist experience. The reality is, the neighborhood has a large homeless and drug problem, which can be jarring and uncomfortable for many. I’m personally glad I was able to learn more about the neighborhood – both how and why it has evolved this way – but as an outsider, it’s hard to understand why this level of poverty exists in such a well-off city. I completely understand that it’s a complicated issue and that it isn’t due to a lack of resources serving the homeless population but my two cents is that we’re failing our nation’s homeless – in San Francisco and beyond.

Pro tip: be sure to check out the San Francisco CityPASS to save on some of the top attractions.

Best Places to Eat

Fog Harbor Fish House

Ahi tuna

If we’re being real, even if you want to see off the beaten path San Francisco, you’re still likely to end up at Pier 39 at some point. You can’t leave the city without eating clam chowder and sourdough, am I right? It’s easy to spend at least a few hours at the pier (7D Experience or Musical Stairs, anyone?) and at that point, you might as well stay for a meal. You’re guaranteed to get a good one at Fog Harbor Fish House, especially if you like seafood. It offers 100% sustainable seafood and it’s easily one of the best restaurants at the Pier. Not to be totally basic, but the garlic bread here is to die for as well. Besides that, I recommend the calamari as an additional starter and the ahi tuna as a main. Everything is fresh, delicious and affordable – wins all around.

Kin Khao

If we’re talking about hidden gems in San Francisco, Kin Khao is definitely high on the list. It’s a small, somewhat unassuming Thai restaurant at the Parc 55 Hotel but it just so happens to have a Michelin Star. The menu looks just as unassuming as the restaurant, but it was drool-worthy and by far the best meal I had in San Francisco. I’m not a big fan of neither mushrooms nor beans, but somehow the Nam Tok Beans and Mushroom Hor Mok Terrine were my favorite dishes. Go figure. But really, I didn’t have a single bad dish here so be sure to make a reservation if you’re visiting San Francisco.

Urban Tavern

In all honesty, I normally shy away from hotel restaurants, but as you saw from my recent Ireland foodie post, hotel restaurants are seriously stepping up their game. Urban Tavern, at the Hilton San Francisco, is no exception. They take international fusion cuisine to a whole new level, and I have to say I was impressed by the charred Spanish octopus, the chicken meatballs, and the burger (sometimes my palate is basic #notsorry).

Brenda’s French Soul Food

If you have a hankering for a food-coma-inducing brunch, then look no further than Brenda’s, the French Soul food restaurant that is incredibly popular amongst locals (but not tourists). Be prepared to eat your entire day’s worth of calories in one meal. I recommend going hard and ordering a beignet flight, the catfish egg and biscuits, and a side of grits. Brenda’s pretty much always has a wait on weekends, so if you can swing by during the week instead, do it.

Alternative Nightlife

Cityscape at The Hilton San Francisco

Located on the 46th floor of the Hilton San Francisco in Union Square, the view from Cityscape is pretty hard to beat. Plus, there are lots of cushy lounge chairs to relax in and they even make a couple of delicious mocktails for my fellow non-drinkers out there. I’m all about the chill vibes, and you can definitely get that at Cityscape.

PianoFight

PianoFight calls itself a community-driven indy arts venue which is pretty much everything I love in one place. It hosts shows, stand-up, live music, events, etc. pretty much daily (check out the calendar) and also offers snacks, food, and drinks. The venue is quintessentially San Franciscan and I love that the money you spend there is re-invested in the local community. If you’re looking for a quirky, offbeat thing to do on your trip to San Francisco, be sure to check this place out!

Where to Stay

Balcony views are amazing!

Although I’ve stayed in a few places during my trips to San Francisco, the Hilton San Francisco in Union Square is by far my favorite accommodation. Its location in the heart of the city can’t be beat, and the views from the rooms are epic. The rooms themselves are incredibly comfortable and come with an information-packed tablet showcasing all the cool hotel amenities, such as a gym, pool, and an onsite convenience store. I’d definitely stay here again! Book a stay at The Hilton here or find more great deals using the search box below.

Booking.com

(function(d, sc, u) { var s = d.createElement(sc), p = d.getElementsByTagName(sc)[0]; s.type = 'text/javascript'; s.async = true; s.src = u + '?v=' + (+new Date()); p.parentNode.insertBefore(s,p); })(document, 'script', '//aff.bstatic.com/static/affiliate_base/js/flexiproduct.js');

Pro tip: Be sure to pack a windbreaker as San Francisco weather changes frequently and unexpectedly. I’m a fan of this one.

Conclusion

By all means, don’t miss out on any of San Francisco’s top tourist attractions. There’s a reason why everyone is scrambling to visit Lombard Street, The Painted Ladies, and The Golden Gate Bridge.

But if you’re looking for some hidden gems to add to your San Francisco itinerary or you simply want to see another side of the city, be sure to check out some of the places mentioned above.

Tell me: Have you ever been to San Francisco? If so, what’s your favorite “hidden” spot? Share in the comments below!

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Off the Beaten Path San Francisco: 14 Hidden Gems to Add to Your Itinerary Disclosure: I was a guest of San Francisco Travel. All opinions and recommendations are my own.

#California #Destination Guides #San Francisco

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