#fun shit

[sex-obsessed-lesbian]

Turning someone's filter off during sex and listening to all the dirty things that come tumbling out of their mouth is great, actually.

[capnmachete]

🎵 URL song game 🎵

Stealing this tag from a random/non-mutual just bc it looks like fun, and I'm in a listen-y mood :)

Rules: Go to your playlist and find a song for each letter of your URL, then tag some friends to do the same.

C: Come Into the Water, Mitski A: All My Favorite Songs, Weezer

P: Psycho Killer, Talking Heads

N: Nightcrawler, Czarface

M: Molasses, Radiohead

A: Acai Bowl, Dominic Fike

C: Criminal, Fiona Apple

H: House of My Soul, Langhorne Slim

E: El Paso, Marty Robbins

T: The Calvary Cross, Richard Thompson

E: Ex's & Oh's, Elle King

No-pressure tags: @davycoquette, @bouncydragon, @morning-alfie, @hoodeddreams13, @tea-atfive, @loricasquamata, and anybody else who wants to jump in

[amelia-sun]

I got reaaaallyyy bored a few months ago and drew that :)

I only colored it recently though, and i like it enough to post so here we are <3

Bonus childe bc I Had To:

[lavoixhumaine]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by: @blossom--of--snow

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 13 on the main account

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 439,906

3. What fandoms do you write for? currently, just 9-1-1

4. What are your top fics by kudos? hearts in atrophy | feral

5. Do you respond to comments? yes, too much as i’ve been told (but i got the best friends out of doing this so i’m gonna keep doing that)

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? it’s me, hi (dying ought to be considered angstiest, right?)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? cataclysmic (i think?)

8. Do you get hate on fics? yep

9. Do you write smut? *cackles* you could say that, yeah, sure.

10. Do you write crossovers? no, but it’s my dream because one of my original ideas for a first 9-1-1 fic was supposed to be a crossover but i got scared.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? not to my knowledge, no.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? not to my knowledge, no.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? nope

14. What's your all time favorite ship? Bathena 💞 (especially after this week)

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? hearts i—nah, i’m just fucking with ya. nothing posted but currently i have literally 223 ideas (there is a list!) and a huge chunk of that will never happen—does that count?

16. What are your writing strengths? i think it’s that i make people feel things (very recently, the last thing someone commented on any of my stories is that they hate me because something i wrote “broke” them and made them cry for over half an hour and i have been quietly wondering ever since if they actually did cry actual tears and i don’t know the answer to that)

17. What are your writing weaknesses? i cannot write anything short to save my life (see word count and keep in mind i only started writing in 2022 and i only have 13 stories to show for it)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? you better know the damned language you’re using otherwise it’s not going to sound right.

19. First fandom you wrote for? posted: miss fisher’s murder mysteries (don’t look for it, i deleted it) | not posted: the west wing (i was in high school and it is laughably terrible)

20. Favorite fic you've written? so far? maybe cataclysmic

tagging: @rainedamodred | @scar-letter | @bestbuddybobby

[carnagechicken]

An incomplete list of nhl players (past and present) who I think would be good strippers/exotic dancers (presented by someone who knows nothing about strippers, strip clubs, any type of clubs, dancing, pole dancing, etc)

Matthew Tkachuk > born performer who knows what audiences want. Looks great wet. Can't dance which is a con, but he could just pour water all over himself, stick his tongue out and smile and that would work just fine

Juuse Saros > One word: flexible. He comes on stage and you're thinking 'oh, he looks so sweet and innocent' and then bam! full splits center stage. (I've heard rumors that he can twerk in the splits and that's how he gets a party going)

Marc-Andre Fleury > another flexible guy, but his thing is performances that make people laugh and have fun. And then at the very end he does something to remind you that he's hot and you're gonna be thinking about it days later.

Tyler Seguin > (oh, come on, you knew he'd be on the list) VERY popular with the bachelor/bachelorette parties. He brings a girls gone wild energy that some people love and some people are turned off by, but he knows who's who and only interacts with the ones who like it.

Laurent Brossiot > interestingly, he never strips. He just walks on stage in full suit and tie, stands and poses for a minute, then leaves, and left behind is a room full of the horniest people you've ever met. He only does one show a week and it's wildly popular.

Kris Letang > I don't need to say any more, you get it.

Erik Johnson > he's just a fun guy. Perhaps not the one people find the sexiest but he gets a good back and forth with the audience and for that reason is a favorite.

Vince Dunn > the dancer who tries *so* hard to keep a sexy expression, but keeps going all smiley and blushy

Patric Hornqvist > this is a man who loves to be naked. No one has ever seen him in more than underwear.

Gabriel Landeskog > his thing is seductively putting his clothes back on. Comes out on stage naked, leaves it fully clothed. No one is quite sure why they like it, but everyone does.

Tristan Jarry > his shows are him removing a pair off laced up work boots. That is the only thing he takes off, even the socks stay on. Nobody complains about the lack of skin because they're all too busy with their boners and what being attracted to that even means.

*Other staff members*

Bouncers:

Jamie Oleksiak > he's the bouncer who looks really intimidating, you get to know him and realize he's a sweetheart, then someone needs to be kicked out and he takes care of it so fast you're left wondering if you're scared or horny (the answer is both).

Magnus Hellberg > he's got such a nice smile people forget that he could do some damage if he had to. He manages to pull of patting people on the top of their head without making it condescending.

Leon Draisaitl > Mostly just glares people into submission. And because Jamie and Magnus are *so* tall, he seems short. Right up until he has to go toe to toe with someone and everyone suddenly remembers he's actually really big. His favorite way of taking out people is a hit to the crotch, and if asked he'll claim it was accidental. He ONLY pats peoples' heads with condescension.

Adam Larsson > Works great with Magnus, they can speak about potential problems without alarming anyone as they both speak Swedish. very calm, very controlled, a real steady presence. But harass his baby (vince) and not even god can save you.

Waitstaff:

Tyson Barrie > will flirt with everyone but someone flirts back and he gets flustered. EJ and Landy constantly pulls him on stage to dance on him and get in a little light groping. He would complain but...he doesn't want to.

Bryan Rust > super helpful with explaining the menu (do strip clubs have menus? do they even have food?) If you make fun of his stutter Big Rig will kill you.

Conor Sheary > another guy under the protection of Big Rig. Costumer Reviews have described him as "a delight" "a sweetheart" and "he reminds me of my grandson".

Jeremy Swayman and Linus Ullmark > technically they're supposed to serve different tables but no one actually tries to enforce that. No one hits on them because anyone with a brain can see there's no point. Very flirtatious with each other. They hug after every shift.

Bartenders:

Brian Dumoulin > has great wine recommendations. Is such a great conversationalist you forget he's only wearing a mesh t-shirt and leather pants.

Sidney Crosby > serves drinks and looks. Work outfit is a crop top and black booty shorts that say "if you can read this, I'm bending over" on the ass.

Feel free to add more

[helluva-hazbins]

Lucifer, did you purposely target Adam in the garden? It seems really weird that you seemed so focused on destroying the guy's life again and again and again.

There's some amount of scrutiny that crosses the Morningstar's features before he arches a brow high and leans in, his cane pointing and gesturing along with his words. "Let me ask you a question, my grey-faced friend. Does an uncontained wildfire give any thoughts to the insurmountable destruction it brings upon all within it's unpredictable path?" a grin remains.

"It's all conjecture! Or unfounded accusations. And I will very obviously tell you a resounding 'no' on that matter. Are we clear on that? Adam...was simply the casualty of another individual's much grander vision and ambitions." he nods.

[apna-vorryyippie]

Amato meeting his dead mother in a dream:3

[therewillbenoromance]

Apollo what the FUCK is whiteboard app. Everyone is talking about it and I can’t figure it out.

whiteboard fox!! it's a website where you can host or join public whiteboards and draw with people!! it's very fun i like it :]]

[moonbeamsandmayhem]

Followed in @wroteclassicaly footsteps and made an 80s version of myself!

No pressure tags: @rebelfell @thorfemmes @urlbitchin @upsidedownwithsteve @inklore @stevenose @ddeadly-succubus

[rainbow-arrow]

spotify really told me i listened to 183 artists this year but only four genres. what the fuck

[capnmachete]

How does Pinterest see you?

-search these and pick the first photo — celebrity, shoes, outfit, aesthetic, purse, makeup look

Thanks for tagging me @justrainandcoffee ❤️

No-pressure tags: @morning-alfie, @peakyblunderss, @loricasquamata, @70zcowboy, @x-w1ng and whoever else wants to jump in...

[liesmultixxx]

AYYY HI, GUESS WHO'S BACK TO INFEST UR ASK BOX [gonna keep it shorter this time, dw][also hi to the moots who have now been initiated by getting one of my asks] [warning: I'm known to be quite annoying]

✰ if you had intro music, what song would you want it to be?

✰ if your life was a book, what would the title be?

✰ and most importantly, DO YOU THINK YOU COULD SURVIVE A ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE

thanks for the ask!<3

1. my intro song would be “You’re Not Good Enough” by Blood Orange because it slaps and because i too feel like i am not good enough (and seriously guys- give this song a listen you won’t regret it i promise)

2. my book would be titled “How to (not) embarrass yourself”

I would’ve needed that ngl

3. honestly? I think i would be fine at first but at some point i’d probably just off myself lol

[lavoixhumaine]

tagged by @randomnon911stuff

rules: answer and tag 9 people you want to get to know better and catch up with

favorite color: red

last song: worthy by mavis staples

currently reading: the rules of magic by alice hoffman (second read just because)

currently watching: battlestar galactica | golden girls (both are re-watching binges)

currently craving: watermelon ice cream

coffee or tea: coffee …but also lavender mint tea

hobby to try: skeet shooting (need to improve on shooting moving targets)

current au: sigh i have one but i can’t write. like literally i sat down and tried writing and it’s so bad even i can tell it’s fucking terrible.

no pressure tagging: @blossom--of--snow | @cassiopeiasara | @scar-letter | @bestbuddybobby | @rainedamodred | @babycarternash | …anyone else who wants to play

[carnagechicken]

I've been getting pre menstrual cramps for the last day and a half. So it seems like the perfect time to share some stories about my older brother learning things about periods from me. A few things to know before reading further, he's super unphased by periods and is the only cis guy I know who jokes about periods the way people who have them do.

Let's get to it

(He came home from work one day and this exchange happened)

*Older brother* i overheard one of my coworkers talking about trying birth control pills, but she's a lesbian so...

*Me* oh yeah, lots of people use the pill just to stop periods because they can be really painful

*Ob* ah, makes sense

(He came home very excited to share this tidbit)

*Ob* ok so you know how public bathrooms have those things that deposit stuff for 25c?

*Me* yeah, like condoms or tampons

*Ob* exactly! So this one was for 'unscented tampons'

*Me* *processing*

*Ob* which would seem to imply.....

*Me* *starting to laugh*

*Ob*...the existence of....

*Me* *wheezing*

*Ob* ...scented tampons.

*Me* ........I guess..

*Me and Ob* *cackling for five minutes*

(After I mentioned that I was way too hot because I was ovulating)

*Ob* when does ovulation happen?

*Me* like, when in the menstrual cycle?

*Ob* yeah

*Me* well, you start your period and then 12 to 15 days after it started, you ovulate and then 12 to 15 days after *that* you get your period again.

*Ob* so that's like only a couple weeks when nothing is really happening?

*Me* yeah, sorta

*Ob* so it's always something, huh?

*Me* very true

(After i replied 'shedding my uterine lining' when mum asked how I was)

*Ob* that's all periods really are, huh

*Me* yeah, the uterus spends all month building up a nice layer for an egg, and then when it doesn’t get one is like 'I didn't even want it to begin with'

*Ob* 'whatever, it's not even usable anymore'

*Me* 'get it out I can't look at it!'

*Ob* 'i don't even care, it's stupid, why would i use it'

*Me* and then immediately afterwards it's like 'make it again!'

*Me and Ob dissolve into uterus based banter*

(at the grocery store)

*Me* *getting pads from the top shelf, but am unable to reach a box I want because it's too far back* long being, can you get this for me?

*Ob* *does easily cause he's freaking tall* here

*Me* thanks

*Me* ok, are there any nighttime pads...

*Ob* what about america and irrigation? (<- office reference)

*Me* well to be honest *gestures at my stomach* I think they're all irrigation

*Me and Ob* *laughter*

I love this guy

[netrok]

So lustig 😅😂😅

[conanssummerchild]

i like to pretend that im autistic in a way that doesnt affect my life, then when it does that thing where it, yk, affects my life i cant ask for help bcs im too embarrased