#funny enough we had burgers today and when I took a bite of my moms I praricslly screamed cause she had pickles in her burger

[kedsandtubesocks]

@andypantsx3 angel pickle Queen pls don’t tempt me I’ll start planning something for us this weekend 🥒💕

[kinktae]

beyond the story: bitchin’

Hi friends! I hope you are all staying safe and healthy during these tough times! I really wanted to put something out there as a thank you to just how much support Bitchin’ got. You guys really are incredible. So, although this story has come to an end, I wanted to properly close the Bitchin’ chapter by giving you all a behind the scenes look at Bitchin’ and everything that went into writing it. This includes hidden easter eggs, backstories, alternative plot-lines, and a short drabble of the Bitchin’ cast 10 years after the story’s end.

Without further ado, please enjoy and thank you again for all your love. You have all of mine.

CHAPTER ONE – PARTNERS

Ah, yes, the start of this whole wild ride. I’ve always loved the whole nerd/popular person trope in fanfics, so it was only a matter of time before I tried my hand at it too. One thing I was adamant about was not making this a “popular person turns nerd hot/confident/better” fic as its kind of one of my least favorite cliches. With that in mind, and knowing that I was going to allude to TATBILB’s contract, I decided that I wanted Y/N to gain as much from the deal as Jungkook did. No blackmail, no just agreeing for the hell of it – Y/N was going to further herself and her dreams given the opportunity.

The beginning of the chapter is where the two are most separated and dissimilar throughout the whole story. It wasn’t that they were fundamentally different, it was that they approached life differently. Y/N was frustrated at how superficial Jungkook seemed, because she believes there is much more to life than just kicking your feet up and cracking jokes.

On the other hand, Jungkook didn’t understand why Y/N was so tense and on guard. To him, life was meant to enjoy and not take so seriously. Which makes sense, given that he grew up with minimal rules and minimal worries (bare minimum partners wassup !) 

“So, do we have a deal? Partners?” There was mischievous timber to his words, the kind that made you feel as if this would all later come back to bite you in the ass.

Pushing that pestering thought away, you took his hand into yours, holding his eyes as you gave it a firm shake.

“Partners.”

God, this bit. I knew from the minute I wrote it that I was writing the ending of bitchin’ along with it. I knew this was exactly how I was going to end this story, bc the word partners has multiple means right? In chapter 1, this meant business partners, but in the final chapter… it means life partners. Idk, I’m just still really happy with this writing decision :D

CHAPTER TWO – THE CONTRACT

Dearest Yara. We meet her in chapter two don’t we? Yara is completely based off of my irl best friend Yara who is a writer and who helped me A LOT with this story. She was my biggest supporter throughout figuring out this crazy plot. It was initially only about seven parts, but with her help I managed to bump it up to 10! Everybody say thank you Yaraaaa.

You were angry, that much was evident to her. Yara was sat in your shared dorm’s living room, a thick blanket engulfing her small frame. You briefly glanced towards the TV, it was tuned into MTV, the familiar music video of Every Breath You Take by The Police playing, before directing your glare back onto the copper-haired girl.

The song reference is a direct allusion to writer Yara’s fic, which is one of my favorite fics by her. She was actively writing it around the start of our friendship so it only felt right to pay respects to her. The introduction of her character felt necessary imo bc I wanted to make sure Y/N had a life outside Jungkook. Plus, I got to use the scenes between the two girls as a way to reference the music and culture scene. Yara is especially a fan of the powerful women in the music industry at the time, i.e., Madonna, Annie Lennox, Cyndi Laupner, etc.) Yara is a raging feminist and believer in sexual freedom and libery for women, we do in fact have to stan.

“How old do you think your sister is?”

“Hey, don’t sass me. For your information, Lyanna still has all her Care Bear tapes. She threw a hissy fit when my mom tried to give them away last Christmas.” Yara recalled.

Lyanna is one of writer Yara’s past pseudonyms. She always used to joke about how whenever she read it, it was confusing because there was Y/N, Yara and Lyanna, which were technically all her lolol.

FUNNY STORY ABOUT THE CONTRACT I INSERTED INTO THIS PICTURE… Twitter found it and made it into somewhat of a meme because no one knew it came from a fic rip. I was actually rly embarrassed and even wrote some posts about how much twitter scared me on my blog LMAO. but THEN weirdly enough, I actually stumbled upon a small community on twitter who actually found my fic and would TWEET ABOUT IT!!! LIKE REACTIONS TO EACH UPDATE!!! I wish I could go back in time and remember how giddy I was the first time I found a tweet about my fic. The fanfic community on twitter gave me a new love for the site (which I had previously had removed myself from because of its toxicity) and I have met so many wonderful people because of it. People even made themselves a little twitter group chat to talk about my fics, and now we are all friends! I miss posting a chapter of bitchin’ and refreshing my twitter feed as all my mutuals would post memes and live tweet their reactions. God that made me so fucking happy.

CHAPTER THREE – THE ROLLERSKATING DATE

I love the bickering in this chapter, because unlike the bickering in the first chapter, it’s actually less hostile and more playful. Y/N is slowly letting her guard down to the very persistently charming Jungkook.

“Woah. Family of six, huh? So you have siblings then.” He noted.

“Yep. Three.”

“Tell me about them.”

Looking up from where you were slipping on your second skate, you met Jungkook’s eyes, surprised to see genuine interest in them.

I actually originally had Y/N brush him off here. I was going to wait until the drunk party scene for Y/N to open up about her family and relationship with her sisters. But then I kind of thought to myself… Why? Y/N made peace with it and doesn’t hold onto those insecurities anymore. And objectively, Jungkook hasn’t proven himself to be a bad person so… I let Y/N open herself up to him.

“Then there’s the twins, Rosa and Lia.”

“Hold on. Twins? Wait… did they go to our high school?” Jungkook asked, his interest in this conversation doubled.

“Yep. They were two grades above us.” You confirmed.

“Oh shit, yeah, I remember your sisters, they were mad hot.” Jungkook let out a low whistle, before stiffening, flashing you an apologetic look. “Uh, in a totally non-meathead way.”

You offered the scared-looking boy a small smile, shaking your head.

Some of y’all notice but, Rosa and Lia are a blatant homage to my name: Roselia. ACTUALLY some form of my name can be found in every one of the rewind series fics, including upcoming ones. I’ll give a cookie to whoever can find every single mention hehe.

“I told you it was dumb.” You laughed nervously.

It wasn’t that you cared much about what Jungkook thought but you had a feeling a guy like him, who was popular and carefree, wouldn’t be able to sympathize in the way you would like him to.

“No, I’m just… surprised, that’s all.”

Jungkook certainly was surprised. You had built up quite the impression on him from the very moment you two met. It was hard to imagine that the girl who was so unapologetically herself was ever unsure or insecure.

Somehow, the idea tugged at his heart, as if he understood you more if only just a little.

From the get go, Jungkook was extremely drawn to just how confident and secure Y/N was in herself. I knew I wanted Y/N to be unapologetically sure of herself and in her abilities. Something I didn’t want, however, was for frat boy!jungkook’s only personality traits to be liking sex and being a cocky bastard (although I am a big consumer of that trope heh). Jungkook is actually canonly incredibly insecure. He lacks a real sense of self, which is why he is so desperate for Kiri back. His relationship with Kiri at that time was a big part of what he thought was himself. He has somewhat of low self esteem tbh which is why he’ll go back to a woman who treated him unfairly. That’s why he comes off the way he does in the first chapter and why Y/N thinks he has a big ego... he’s overcompensating. He finds it so endlessly fascinating that Y/N, in all her confident glory, was actually once super insecure. He admires her all the more once she opens up about her past.

“Oh, Rosa is an intern for our hometown’s newspaper but between you and me those assholes don’t even let her write. She does coffee and burger runs for men in charge. And Lia sells ice cream at the mall.”

“What about your brother?” Jungkook asked.

“He’s training to be a cop just like my dad.”

“And your mom?”

“She works at a convenience store.”

All their careers resemble people in the latest Stranger Things season (Nancy, Steve, Hopper, and Joyce). Fun Cameo there.

“What’s wrong?” You wondered, following his eyes.

“October 16th, 1985. 6:48PM.”

“Yes. That’s today’s date and time. What about it?” You pressed, growing confused.

“Remember it.” He warned.

“Why?”

“It’s when I fell in love with you.”

This iconic line I actually got from the real Jeon Jungkook himself. While Jungkook wasn’t actually in love with Y/N here, it certainly was a cute way for him to express his admiration for her.

OH HERE’S A FUN FACT: the hickey scene at the end of this chapter where JK and Y/N kiss for the first time was actually supposed to be Yara giving Y/N the hickey like the best friend she is. Ultimately I went with JK giving it for... smut purposes... ≖‿≖ 

CHAPTER FOUR – THE HALLOWEEN PARTY

The decision for Y/N to be Freddie Krueger came from me planning to be him for Halloween. And I was! JK as Glen Lantz just followed naturally. I’ve seen some great edits of him as the character. Truly chef’s kiss.

I really liked that Jungkook came over to the girl’s dorm to get ready. I didn’t want a scene where Y/N was thrown into a situation she was uncomfortable with which is how much Nerd At A Party Scene go so made sure Jungkook stayed by her side throughout the part, going out of his way to introducing her to the people he cared about.

Tae’s character came in when I realized I needed a way to actually put Y/N’s event in motion. He was the missing link and BOY did you guys eat his character right up huh. Love that for me.

Another thing, the confrontation with Kiri was so hard to write guys, I reeaaaally struggle with girl conflict. GIRLS SHOULD SUPPORT GIRLS. However, not everyone gets along in real life so I went with Kiri being more along the lines of petty rather than outwardly a cunt to Y/N. Realistically, Kiri is popular and well liked among the greek life so being unkind to someone she hardly knows wouldn’t make sense. There’s definitely tension between these two but I tried my best to steer away from the typical cat fight/revenge porn/public humiliation trope most movies seem to follow.

CHAPTER FIVE – THE FIRST TIME

Introduction to Erik!!!! It was really important to me that Y/N had a life before Jungkook. That's why I wrote in Y/N having a fiancé. She’s not opposed to love, she just has reshifted her focus. She knows what she wants and is choosing to focus on that, which why when she realizes she’s falling for Kookie she’s so hesitant to admit it because she’s fallen down that road before. Even though Jungkook treats her with respect and acknowledges the parts of her she’s most proud of, she just isn’t willing to possibly give up her passions for love. Which is why she doesn’t immediately confess to him, even once she’s sure she loves him.

“I’m serious, nerd. You’re like… um… the sun!” Jungkook marveled, eyes growing full as the realization dawned on him.

“The sun?” You laughed.

“Yeah, like… you’re this bright, beautiful thing that seems like it’s here in front of me but is really light-years away.”

Jungkook was drunk, and although you were sure he was making more sense in his head, you couldn’t help but feel your face grow hot, unsure of how to react to his drunk analogy.

“You’re the sun, Y/N. You make the world turn for you. Never orbit for anyone else.”

And suddenly, you were kissing him, for no other reason other than you wanted to and that it felt like the right thing to do.

No real commentary here. Just love this bit. It’s probably my favorite interaction between them two ‧⁺◟( ᵒ̴̶̷̥́ ·̫ ᵒ̴̶̷̣̥̀ ) 

“Also… She’s, uh, currently dating Eunwoo.” You told Yara.

Your best friend blinked, silence falling over her.

“Yara?”

“Good for her.” She perked up almost forcibly. “Let her put up with his annoying ass.”

Yara could see the way your expression had turned dubious as if you didn’t believe her nonchalant act.

Yara turned up her nose defensively, “What?”

Ugh yes, some character development from Yara.... the flavor ! Yara (much like Y/N and JK) also struggles with love. She has a real fear of commitment and if far more comfortable with casual sex than relationships. She did develop actual feelings for Eunwoo, she just wasn’t ready for that kind of commitment so she cut him off. Fleed the scene if you will. Typical gemini smh my head.

"I don’t think the contract mentioned orgasms.” Jungkook smirked as you released his thumb.

“I say we let it slide.” You shrugged, leaning into him casually.

“You think?”

“Totally. Think of it as… a bonding activity.” You joked, resting your chin on his shoulder, peering up through your lashes.

“Damn, we’re really committed to this fake dating thing, huh.”

You laughed in the way that you hated, but Jungkook loved; it was loud and abrupt, but it genuine, and it was you.

“What can I say, I’m a method actor.” You sighed dramatically, causing Jungkook to grin before pressing a kiss to your nose, simply because he liked the way it always seemed to make you smile.

GOD THEY’RE SO WHIPPED FOR EACH OTHER ITS DISGUSTING!!!!!! I’m really happy I decided not to make sleeping together a big deal and I got a lot of feedback from you guys agreeing! I had a lot of fun with these two’s sex scenes knowing they could do it whenever they wanted.

CHAPTER SIX – THE STEM EVENT

I started the scene with smut BUT I wanted to point out that much of their time spent together is at Y/N dorm, Jungkook either napping, hanging out or doing work as Y/N would study like she always did. I liked the idea that Jungkook would get bored and would want attention from Y/N because she was so focused. Idk, I just wanted to write a love story about two people spending time together and figuring out how they fit in each other’s lives as opposed to some dramatic I mEeT HiM aNd mY LiFe bEcAmE cRaZy. There’s nothing wrong with that plot line, I just didn’t want that for these two dorks. I wanted Y/N to interact with JK’s scene and crowd but not give up her own which is why most days JK and her just lounged around in her dorm studying.

Also, I don’t know how the teacher/student roleplay made it into the smut, it just did, no further questions (ʃ⌣́_⌣́ƪ).

Then the event scene.

“You’re whipped, dude! Seriously.”

Jungkook felt his face go red, “Shut up, no, I’m not.”

“Hey, I’m not judging. I get it. That’s your girl.” Taehyung shrugged. Jungkook placed a hand on the fold up table in front of him, staring down at the information pamphlet you had worked so hard on.

“She’s just… so fucking driven and passionate about everything she does. Sometimes I look at her, and I’m just like… holy shit, what am I doing with a girl like her? I feel like she’s totally out of my league and being with me is holding her back but— I dunno, man. I just… really like her.” Jungkook revealed, voice growing small.

An unexpected wave of tenderness fell over the two boys, Taehyung throwing an arm over his little brother’s shoulder.

“I’m happy for you, bro.”

Jungkook didn’t know it just yet but dude was talking from the heart and, is in fact, totally whipped :’c

I loved the confrontation scene between the boys and Eunwoo because the boys standing up for Yara really did make everyone feel like a friend group, not just some character who happen to exist at the same time. It wasn’t just Y/N and Yara and one side and the boys on the other. They would all become friends, which is ideal to me. A boyfriend who likes your best friend and considers her a friend so you can all hang out??? Yes please.

Initially, irl Yara and I had noooo clue if Yara would end up with Eunwoo or not. That was actually the original goal actually. But after this chapter four, you guys made it ABUNDANTLY clear that you guys wanted to see Taeyara, despite the two never even meeting! Honestly, it wasn’t until this chapter was written that we decided for sure that Eunwoo was out of the picture for Yara. Part of me really wanted to keep Yara single, but irl Yara insisted on dick and frankly, she’s right. Bitchin’ Yara deserved a shot at love. She definitely has her own story outside of Bitchin’ and will experience a lot of growth in the future.

“God, I know. I do not miss that temper of his.” She chuckled, her words piquing your interest.

“Temper?”

“Oh, yeah. Have you seriously not experienced it yet? He’s got some gnarly anger issues. Not to mention all the lying…” Kiri paused suddenly, straightening up as she flashed you an apologetic look. “Yikes, I’m sorry. I totally should not be telling you this. I’m not trying to be that gross girl that shit talks her ex to his current girlfriend.”

Miss Kiri, Miss Kiri. She really acted up this chapter didn’t she. There was a lot of discussion about whether or not those things she said about Jungkook were true. Which was exactly what I wanted hehe. We come to find out that Kiri had definitely stretched the truth. She really is good at manipulation and understanding how people think and it’s why she is in the role that she is in. Messy queen.

CHAPTER SEVEN – THE ROOFTOP DATE

This entire chapter was inspired by High School Musical with Troy and Gabriella’s rooftop garden scenes. This was my shortest chapter and honestly, probably not my strongest. I definitely went into writing this with zero concept of what I actually wanted to happen. Usually when I write my chapters I have a 4k long outline of it beforehand that I go off of. Not this one though. I really just winged it and I tried my best to write a chapter that really showed off (dialogue wise) just how this couple bounces off each other. I do really like some of the banter they have in this chapter.

You had taken note a little wooden popsicle stick poking up from the soil of the yellow flowers. Acacias, they were marked. Pulling your knees up to your chest, you considered his words.

Yellow acacias stands the value of true friendship and can indicate a secret love! I thought that was very appropriate given these dummies' relationship.

“So, you probably know why I brought you here.”

You nodded.

“You’re proposing, right?”

“Yeah, I– oh, shut up.” He laughed, the serious mood shattering as you joined him.

Even though I knew they were going to have a semi serious talk, what with Y/N asking about what Kiri had told her, these two dufuses realistically are just too comfortable with each other to stay serious for too long.

“Hey, I said that out of frustration, I didn’t really mean it. I’m sure she’ll come crawling back soon.” You attempted to comfort him, hoping to sound sincere.

“Even if that’s true, I’m not entirely sure I want that anymore.”

“What?” You blinked. Jungkook shrugged.

“What about us?” He met your eyes, causing your breath to hitch.

“What about us?”

Jungkook stared at you for a moment, noting the way the timber in your voice had become higher pitched as if panicked.

MORE FUN FACTS LMFAO: I typically do this thing with unplanned chapters where I just go for it and write and usually it works out. But when I wrote this down I remember stopping and being like ??? WHY DID I JUST WRITE THAT ??? I don’t like deleting my writing so I had a serious think to myself about whether this was going to be the moment Jungkook confessed or not.

Canonly, I decided that Jungkook did in fact mean ‘us’ in a romantic sense, but because of the way you perceivably panicked at that possible meaning, he decided against taking the conversation in that direction, instead speaking about ‘us’ in a platonic sense. Poor kookie :(

“Stop. Listen to me, Jungkook, you’re a fucking great guy, okay? You’re charismatic and funny and care about your friends… sure, you almost ruined my event, but it was mostly to defend my best friend when Eunwoo got too pushy, right? You’re a good guy, meathead. I know I joke about your ego, but I really believe you’re capable of more than you think you are. Seriously, Kiri is so lucky to be the object of your affection.”

Jungkook watched the way the sun’s orange light kissed your face, a bittersweet feeling growing in his chest as he contemplated the object of his affection. Just a couple of months ago, he would have had no doubt about who held his heart, but as you held his stare, he found himself unsure and yet, entirely sure all the same.

“Jungkook? You okay?” You frowned, catching in the sadness in his eyes.

“Hm? Yeah, yeah. I just… realized something.”

“Oh? What’s that?”

“…It doesn’t matter.” He smiled, the gesture hardly reaching his eyes.

It’s in this moment that Jungkook decides that there is no way you hold the same affection towards him that he does to you. He mistakes your words of comfort as you pushing him away. You are so kind and encouraging and Jungkook loves you so much that hearing you insist about him ending back up with Kiri hurts him so bad.

But you are still unsure about your feelings and genuinely believe that's still what Jungkook wants. You’re just being a supportive friend!! :( It isn’t until the end of this chapter when Y/N has her talk with Yara that she realizes, oh man, she’s in deep.

CHAPTER EIGHT – THE MISTAKE

BLAH. This chapter is so BLAH, you know? Having to write this chapter was SO HARD. I texted irl Yara complaining about how much I hated having to put my characters through this and that I wanted to just end the story on chapter 7 and keep them happy forever. BUT ALAS! I had planned for this to happen from the start.

You tasted like the mint of your favorite brand of toothpaste. He imagined if he had caught you any later then the mint would have been accompanied by the taste of coffee, knowing the way you rarely started a day without a cup.

God, he had missed the taste of you.

What you guys didn’t see is Jungkook spending the night with Kiri, and immediately kicking her out, freaking out as the weight of guilt washed over him. He knew he had done nothing wrong, that you weren’t his real girlfriend, and that getting back together with Kiri was exactly what he had signed up for. It was what he should’ve wanted. But it wasn't… because you were what he wanted. And that was exactly what he was going to tell you as he marched over to your apartment.

But he panicked. His mind already decided that your answer to him would be no– that you didn’t feel the same. So he kissed you. He had you in the only way he was allowed to. He was selfish and impulsive and so incredibly scared that he ended up hurting the person he loved the most.

Initially though, I had Jungkook get back together with Kiri, not that he slept with her right before sleeping with Y/N. But I decided TEEHEE let me just make everything erupt into flames. However, I didn’t realize just how angry with Jungkook you guys would get. I remember thinking DAMMIT WAS THAT TOO SCANDALOUS?? I knew I was going to have to work hard for Jungkook to redeem himself to my readers.

“She wants to get back together.” Jungkook swallowed dryly, eyes wavering between yours as if to gauge your reaction.

“…Oh.”

You shook your head.

“I mean, wow! That’s… That’s great!” You smiled, something tearing apart inside you as the words left your lips.

“Y/N–”

“Seriously! This means it worked, right? This is exactly what you wanted to happen.” You enthused, turning your head so that he couldn’t see the way your eyes had welled up.

Jungkook’s heart was pounding in his ears, fighting the urge to wrap his arms around you.

“Yeah… yeah, no, you’re right. We did it.” He replied monotonously.

GOD THIS PART IS SO UNBELIEVABLY FRUSTRATING! JUST ADMIT YOU LOVE EACH OTHER YOU MORONS! This entire situation is so convoluted because there's so much information missing and not being expressed, I seriously want to ring my own neck rereading this bit.

“Are you mad?” He called out cautiously, a heavy feeling falling onto his chest.

“Why would I be mad?” You quipped back sharply, causing Jungkook to flinch. He shifted in his seat uncomfortably.

“I just thought… I mean we’ve been fooling around a lot lately, so I didn’t know if—”

“If what? I had feelings for you?” You scoffed. “Please, as if I’d ever fall for you.”

And there it was— everything Jungkook already knew but had been so afraid to hear. Of course, you didn’t feel for him what he felt for you. How could he have expected anything different?

IDIOTS!!! THEY'RE BOTH IDIOTS!!! I don't know how y'all put up with this for so long. Forgive me.

CHAPTER NINE – THE BREAK

Okay I actually love this chapter. And for many reasons. Let me break down the three scenes for you guys.

Scene one: Kiri confrontation

Kiri is definitely an opposing antagonist. She is constantly working against Y/N because of their interests directly conflicting. BUT. I would argue that the biggest antagonist to this story is the inner ones – Y/N and Jungkook's lack of ability to admit their feelings constantly holding them both back from their happy ending. That being said, a confrontation scene between Y/N and Kiri was MUCH needed. While I suppose I can understand why Kiri doesn't like Y/N, that doesn't change the fact that she has been disrespectful and catty. So miss Y/N had to put Miss Kiri in her place (•̀ᴗ•́)

Scene two: Yara and Tae at the library

Fanservice. That is all. LMFAOOO y'all reallllyyy wanted it to happen and who am I to deny my people what they want. It was really fun getting to explore my side characters and develop them through interactions outside the two main characters. IRL Yara also mentioned giving bitchin’ Yara and Tae their own chapter as a joke and I was like LOL BET. I fully was going to but then I got the idea for the next scene and was like ahh ok maybe not the whole chapter.

Scene three: Meeting with Erik

So. This was a SUPER last minute decision. Like, it wasn’t until I was writing this chapter that I planned on Erik making an appearance. I saw a tweet with someone saying their bitchin theories and they mentioned Erik appearing out of nowhere and I was like,,, HOLD ON!!!! That could be kind of spicy ≖‿≖ 

I knew for a fact JK was NOT going to be forgiven in this chapter; I needed a way to lay the situation out between the two dorks without trying to seem like I was trying to sway my audience in a way that didn't make sense to the story. Y/N was rightfully angry. But she wasn't only angry about the timing of the sex. She was angry that Jungkook went back to Kiri at all and there was no way she was going to admit that. So who better to lay it all out than calculated, unbiased third party Erik. He deserved some character development after all.

I also liked the idea that Y/N had, in theory, “romantic options.” Losing Jungkook didn’t mean the end of her life. Having my female lead stand on her own was very important to me.

CHAPTER TEN – THE END

RIGHT OF THE BAT I needed Jungkook to suffer. So that whole scene where he tries to interact with his old group only for his presence to make everything awkward MMMM yes, sweet revenge on my part.

You were surprised. His hair was no longer shaggy and long like you remembered it. Instead, it had been freshly cut, looking healthy and neatly styled for the first time since you met Jungkook.

THE WAY SO MANY PEOPLE COMMENTED ON THIS LINE “but Y/N liked it long?!?”  IS SO FUNNNYyyyy. So let me clarify a thing. Jungkook had always wanted to cut his hair right. The only reason he didn’t was because Y/N told him not to. With Y/N no longer in the picture to convince him out of it, he cut his hair. That’s really all there is to it skfjsjf.

You know, I had written this part around the time I had just finished up the third ch believe it or not. And it was COMPLETELY different. I had it planned that Yara and Y/N ignored him throughout class and Yara had gone back after the bell rang to go verbally assault JK. And as the two hashed it out, only then was that when Jungkook would realize that he liked Y/N after Yara literally spelled it out for him.

“You like her, dumbass!” Was what I had written Yara saying. I really had written him in denial for ten chapters, I was a whole sociopath (╥﹏╥). But ultimately, I decided that Jungkook came to that conclusion on his own and the decision to apologize to Y/N would have been made over winter break.

“You said Kiri came over asking for you back, yet you still came over and slept with me the next day. Even though the two of you had sex the night before. Do you understand how that makes me feel?”

“I’m—”

“Like garbage!" You emphasized, the white paint of the door somehow irritating you further. "I felt like I was something you threw away and picked back up whenever you felt like getting your dick wet.”

Your chest was rising and falling rapidly, and you tried your hardest to not let your emotions get the best of you.

“Not to mention to everyone else, it looks like you cheated on me. Which makes me look like a fucking idiot." You scoffed.

Jungkook said nothing in reply, which somehow made it easier to say all you should have said that day in your room.

“It just sucks to realize that someone you once cared about sees you as nothing more than a toy. It fucking sucks.”

Man :( writing this hurt my heart. I really, really, love bitchin!y/n and writing her hurting freaking stinks. But she had to speak her mind. She deserves the chance to get everything off her chest with the way Jungkook hurt her.

Your heart and mind were in constant paradox, torn between wanting him back and wanting him to know just how much he had hurt you. Your mind ultimately won the battle, of course, but as Jungkook stood just a few inches of drywood apart pouring his heart out, it was hard to say which major organ was responsible for your next words.

The creak of the door being pushed open sent Jungkook's eyes wide, revealing your hesitant form. You had your arms crossed over your chest as if to guard the contents inside of it.

You looked like an angel underneath the bathroom's blue fluorescent lights, beautiful and lovely, a stark contrast from your next crushing sentence.

“I slept with Erik.”

Hehe. Ofc my girl Y/N had to have a rebound!!! She knows that life goes on. However, as I wrote in, she definitely regretted it. It was kind of the same situation that Jungkook was in where he pursued something just because it was familiar and a distraction and not because he really wanted it. Both Y/N and Jungkook are flawed characters but that’s okay! If anything, Y/N’s mistake of sleeping with Erik is what allows her to forgive Jungkook. Knowing first hand how complicated their entire relationship really was.

“I don’t need you… but I don’t think I want a life without you.” You finished shyly.

Your eyes were locked with his when suddenly a small noise escaped him, eyes pulling away from yours as his head moved to attempt to hide the way his eyes had grown wet.

I got this line from one of my best friends after her ex broke up with her. It made me physically sad and really sympathize with her so I quickly wrote it down into my notes app to save for later LMAOOOO. Knowing that you are your own person and life will inevitably go on after losing someone, but that your heart still wants and is pleading for the one person you can’t have. SO SAD. I’m happy I got to use this line in one of my fics.

The note Jungkook wrote Y/N,,, imagine him not being able to sleep one night over winter break so he just writes down everything he should have told Y/N while he still had the chance…. I’ll for real cry dude, he’s so cute. Also, the line about him buying you fluffy Halloween socks for Christmas went over people’s heads I think but HECK I THOUGHT THAT WAS SO FUNNY AND SWEET (because Y/N bought Christmas socks when it was Halloween teehee).

"Are you two dorks done crying?" Yara’s voice rang out suddenly, causing both of you to jump apart.

"Yara, you creep! Privacy, dude! Ever try knocking?" You sniffed, wiping at your face hurriedly.

"What? Like you were peeing with Jungkook in the bathroom? Please." She waved you off, walking back into the living room to give you two some privacy. She did say Jungkook had 15 minutes before she’d have to come back in after all. "Anyway, Tae will be over in 10 minutes for the Saved By The Bell marathon that’s on so you guys are more than welcomed to join." She called out from her newly seated position on the couch.

I included this scene with Yara because things were getting too serious for my liking ngl. Plus the idea that the four of them would all come together at the end for a much needed reunion made my happy bitchin heart soar.

Jungkook let out a laugh, his palm finding your cheek, eyes locked on your lips. You were preening for his kiss, mouth parting slightly as you anticipated it.

“Partners?”

The question took you by surprise, eyes widening at your not so pretend lover.

Idiot.

“Partners.” You smiled softly, eyes shiny and brimming with tears as he kissed you for what must have been the millionth time, but still somehow felt like the first.

UGH I LOVE THEM I REALLY DO. I was so happy with how this final scene came out :( They’re partners, they really are I miss these boneheads.

AND NOW, I PRESENT THE CANON FUTURE OF THE BITCHIN UNIVERSE...

10 YEARS LATER

Let’s be honest, Jungkook popped the question the day of graduation, he can’t imagine a life in which you wouldn’t be beside him

You said yes (shocker)

Cue Jungkook being the most wonderful partner and respecting your wish to finish your residency program before having the wedding

You absolutely kick ass at being a neonatal surgeon

Also, Jungkook started a film company! It’s small but he loves what he does and works with colleges and helps out the film majors with resources and equipment <3

SO IT'S THE DAY OF YOUR WEDDING RIGHT

Yara and your sisters are helping you get ready, with your best friend as the ever so reassuring maid of honor

And by that I mean you’re as calm as a cucumber and Yara is one wrong move away from having a stroke

“Y/N… Don’t freak out....The catering company put in two orders of shrimp instead of chicken and steak.”

“Yara, it’s okay.”

“NO ITS NOT???? THIS IS YOUR WEDDING DAY AND YOU’RE GETTING CRUSTACEANS.”

Y/N making Yara take a seat and practice some breathing exercises so she doesn’t upset the baby

Oh yeah, Yara is 10 weeks pregnant

Taehyung is the dad lol

Yara and Taehyung have been together ever since that day at the library hehe <3

They moved in together and adopted a cat and everything (sweet boy Tae wanted a dog but Yara’s afraid of dogs and Tae would do anything for that woman so Yeontan the cat it is)

Yara refuses to put a label on their relationship even after all this time, and Tae doesn’t ask for one. They’re happy and dedicated to each other and don’t feel the need to put pressure on something that’s already so perfect

Yara is actually violently in love with Tae but still scoffs when Y/N tries to bring it up

“Oh my god, you’re so in love with him”

“Huh??? you must be sick or something. Get well soon, damn :/”

Yara likes to come up with different labels for Taehyung every time she has to introduce him. Among her favorites are roommate, rent sharer, baby daddy and penis lender

Speaking of Taehyung, he’d have a hand on Jungkook’s shoulder as he tries to calm down the panicking groom to be

“JK, breathe.”

“What if she doesn’t show up? What if she doesn’t want to marry me? What if I pressured her into this and— and I’ve freaked her out and now she hates me?”

“Dude, you guys have been engaged for eight years. She’s had her opportunity to run. She’ll show up.”

Taehyung scruffing up the younger man’s hair reassuringly, which only flusters him more because DAMMIT he wants to look perfect for you and now his hair is messed up >:(

(You like him no matter what his hair looks like though)

Jungkook literally swallowing down a sob as you walk down the aisle and he lays his eyes on you for the first time

You having a dumb smile on your face the entire walk over because your husband to be is crying and you haven’t even exchanged vows yet

The entire audience going all sobby when you finally do exchange vows because they’re so beautiful and real

The ten years together has not been easy— from financial struggles as you tried to support yourself through med school, to personal conflicts when Jungkook wanted to start a family already

But you guys figured it out

You always do

He’s your person. And you are his.

Y/N’s sisters Rosa and Lia are a WRECK— even your dad is tearing up

Your family loves Jungkook and have been counting down the days until you guys married, let’s be honest

“You may now kiss the bride.”

Jungkook punching the air with a “FINALLY!” before kissing the hell out of you

The cutting of the cake inevitably turning into a food fight

The shrimp entrees turning out to be pretty damn good

Yara catching the bouquet and wagging her brows at Taehyung suggestively

Jungkook pulling you aside to take photos of you outside the venue because you look so so pretty and he loves the way you smile when he’s the one behind the camera

The party is in full session, your siblings tearing up the dance floor like the extroverts they are

You and Jungkook are sat at the head of the room, hands intertwined underneath the table as you watch a tired and painfully sober Yara swing her bare feet onto Taehyung’s lap, requesting a foot rub

Watching your pregnant best friend and her lover together, you turned towards your own, smile impossibly wide

“What?”

“Let’s have a baby.” You’d grin, so stupid happy

Jungkook’s eyes going round and immediately jumping up from his seat because god that’s all he’s ever wanted

Being tugged out the room by a giddy Jungkook, one of your heels flinging off somewhere behind you.

“What’s happening? Where are we going?!”

The two of you find yourself in a storage room somewhere on the hotel floor

“Jeon Jungkook, what the hell—“

His mouth find yourself, kissing you in a way that couldn’t at the altar

You kissed him back without questions, arms wrapping around the man you now called your husband

“I love you.” He’d sigh into your neck, his hot breath causing you to shiver

“I love you too.”

“Let’s make a baby.”

“Yeah let’s— wait, right here? Right now?!”

Jungkook merely nodding as his mouth found the exposed skin of your chest

“Meathead, we can’t just ditch our wedding to have sex!”

“Why not? We did our marital duties. Now it’s our guests' job to get embarrassingly drunk and make a fool of themselves on the dance floor. No one will even miss us.”

“Isn’t baby making what our honeymoon is for?”

“Screw that. I’ve done my waiting. Let’s start our family, nerd.”

Jungkook kissing your protests silent before you inevitably give in and let him take you right there and then, your wedding dress hung around your hips

Husband and wife coming together with shaky breaths and hushed moans as they promise the rest of their lives to each other, making every argument, struggle or moment of uncertainty leading up to now totally worth it

Walk of shame back into the party with nervous hair fixing from you and a proud grin from Jungkook

Yara figuring out exactly why you two had sneaked off to, flashing the newly weds a knowing smirk

The night of your wedding, Jungkook surprises you with a present

You unwrap it in confusion, only to see that it’s a glass frame and inside of it is the wrinkled and worn out lined paper the two of you had scribbled on many many years ago

Jungkook hangs up the contract right above your bed as per your request, smiling as he does and jumping on him the moment he puts down the hammer bc dammit it you’re too heckin excited to make love with your sentimental loser of a husband

And yes, by the next month, you are pregnant and incredibly happy

And of course, your daughter and Yara’s son grow up to be best friends, not a family holiday passing by where they aren’t told the story of the totally bitchin’ way both set of their parents got together

[supernaturalwritingbunker]

Repeated Words- Sam Winchester

Requested by: Anon: “ Would you be able to write a Sam Winchester x reader where he comes into the room and says "so get this" and reader says it at the same time while Dean starts cackling and Sam stares at reader like "how did you know I was gonna say that?" “

Warnings: Tons of Puns, Fluff, Goofiness, Non-Canon Compliant, One Sexual Innuendo, Implied Slut

Pairing: Sam x Reader

Words: 979

Tag List: @elskinner45​​ @you-a-southpaw-doll​ @it-is-rebel-owl-ma-dudes​ @jai-lynne-unknown​​ @fandomsstolemylife00​

A/N: Most of these cases are made up. You can pretend that they’re little hunts between the ones that were in the show, if you want. While “Southern Comfort” involves Chester Matthew, it’s been changed a little so that it doesn’t deal with the Confederacy, and it’s been made more modern.  

Sorry this took so long. My mental state isn’t very good right now. Please bare with us while I am trying to get better. I hope you guys enjoy!

Divider was created by: @writeyourmindaway​​

This Girl Is On Fire: Greenville, North Carolina - October 28, 2012

I stare at Sam’s laptop while doing some research for this particular case we’re on today. We’ve been on so many hunts this month that my head is starting to hurt. Rubbing my temples, I glance up when Sam runs into the room with a book in his hands. 

“So get this, Amanda White used to be the town nun! She was the only one that lived through 4 different fires!” Sam sits down at the same table as me, actually in the chair next to me. 

“4 fires?” I raise an eyebrow. 

“Yep.” 

“This girl is on fire!” Dean jokes, trying to be funny.

I roll my eyes and let my head fall to the table. Sam snorts softly, doing his best to cover his chuckle. He curls his arm around my shoulders, his fingertips lightly rubbing my upper arm. I smile to myself and roll my chair over just a few inches so that I’m a little closer to him, and hide my face against the side of his chest, just below his armpit.

He laughs and holds me close, placing a soft kiss to my head.

“What?” Dean chuckles. “That was a good one!”

Southern Comfort: Kearney, Missouri - November 7, 2012

I walk into the bunker with a bag from the local burger joint that Dean has been craving. I drop the bag onto the table when I hear footsteps run down the stairs.

“It’s here?” Dean smiles widely.

“Yes, Dean.” I giggle and take my jacket off. 

I throw it onto the closest chair when Sam looks up from his computer.

“So get this, Chester Matthew never had a girlfriend. So it couldn’t be a girlfriend like we thought it could be.” Sam leans back into his chair.

“Wait...Never?” Dean looks up from his burger.

“Never. I called his mom and his sister and they both said that he was too nervous to even walk up to a girl.”

“Wow.” I whisper softly as I sit down.

“Is it just a Southern Comfort thing? Being all nice and whatnot to be more polite when trying to talk to girls?” Dean asks. “Or...could this guy just not come out of his Southern Comfort Zone enough to talk to the girls?”

I playfully throw a fry at him and tease him. “Hey! Not everyone can be a cocky butthole like you, Dean. Or looking for a one night stand. Some of us actually want real relationships.” 

Sam chuckles and reaches for my hand. “Like us.”

Strip Tease: Miami, Florida - December 23, 2012

I lay on the couch in the library trying to get some sleep when Sam slams 2 books down on the table. I jump up with wide eyes and look around, trying to pretend like I didn’t just almost fall off the couch.

“Sam, you're an ass.” I mumble before rubbing his eyes.

“You love me.” He smirks and sits down. 

I playfully shrug. “Maybe. Maybe I love fries and burgers more!”

He laughs and shakes his head. “If you did, you’d be with Dean and not me.”

Giggling, I shake my head quickly. “Nope! I know he’d steal my burgers and fries. You don’t do that, so I don’t have to worry about it.”

“Wow.” He pretends to be hurt before kissing my head. “So get this, Mary Ann was a stripper.”

“Stripper?” Dean says, sitting up quickly from the table, where he was sleeping, and wipes a little bit of drool from the corner of his mouth.

A piece of paper is stuck to his face causing me to giggle. Sam shakes his head, chuckling. Dean rolls his eyes, taking the paper off his cheek.

“Yeah. She was a stripper at the place down the street!”

“I volunteer to take the first watch.” Dean stands up and runs upstairs. “Best Christmas ever!”

Repeat Words: Lebanon, Kansas - January 2, 2013

I flip slowly through a book all about mythical creatures, trying to figure out which one this could be. This definitely isn’t a creature I’ve encountered in the 10 years I’ve been hunting. I sigh and tilt my head back. This couldn’t get any more boring. Dean scrolls through his phone from behind a book, making it seem like he’s actually researching...

We all know he’s not. 

Sam walks into the room holding up his laptop.

“So get this…” I say at the same time as Sam.

His eyes widen and Dean starts laughing hard. Sam raises an eyebrow.

“How...How did you know I was going to say that?”

I start laughing and shake my head. “You say it every time you have new information.”

“Do I?” Sam looks over at Dean who is nodding. “Oh..”

I giggle. “What were you going to say?”

“So get this…” I say at the same time as him again.

Dean starts laughing even harder, holding his stomach as he almost falls out of his chair.

“Stop it!” Sam playfully glares at me. 

I bite my lip and nod. “Sorry, Sammy.”

He nods before shaking his head. “So get this…”

This time I, as he says it, lean over and whisper it to Dean who actually falls out of his chair, laughing harder than before this time.

“That's it!” Sam jumps up and walks toward me.

I squeal and stand up before jumping over Dean and running out of the room. I can hear Dean’s laughter while I run throughout the bunker’s halls. 

“It’s like repeated words, Sammy!” I call out as I scurry to our room.

“I’ll show you repeated words when we get to our room!” Sam calls back, smirking to himself.

“And, that’s my cue to leave!” Dean mumbles, standing up. “Try not to be too loud tonight. Please, Sammy? I can hear y’all going at it through the concrete walls!”

[unabashegirl]

Enticing (25)

Author’s note: LOTS OF DRAMAAAA. Hope you like it!

SEND YOUR REQUESTS 

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WORD COUNT: 2K

They lay in the pure intimacy of their bedroom after their lovemaking session. He has just asked her to travel with him to a country that she has always dreamt of visiting. She is a bit surprised by his sudden proposal. He has gone on business trips alone before. So, what has changed?

“I don’t even own a passport.” David groans as he raises to his feet. He faces Y/N from the end of the bed before bending down and reaching down for his phone. He begins tapping on his phone, clearly texting someone else.

“You don’t need to worry about that. I’ll fix that for you” David has enough connections to be able to get her a passport before they arrive back in the city. He is still pretty surprised that Y/N hasn’t had the opportunity to see the world. That single fact instantly makes the trip more important to him. He is going to be able to show her the world.

“What about Henry? Is he coming with us? Who is going to take care of him?” She sits up in bed and begins readjusting her top and tying the bottoms that David had undone.

“He is staying in New York. He is still too young. I’ll get a babysitter” Y/N perks up at the mention of the babysitter.

“He already has me, David. It’s my job to take care of him. That’s what you are paying me for” Y/N gets off the bed in search of a mirror to fix her crazy hair.

“That’s something I need to talk to you about” David has given it a lot of thought. Ever since he first asked her to be his. He doesn’t want her to work for him anymore. It all feels wrong. “Although we’ll talk about that when we get home” He dismisses, not sure how that particular conversation is going to go. He feels they should be in the privacy and coziness of the penthouse before he drops the bomb on her. “Henry is not coming babe”.

“But…”

“I just said no” His voice is rougher like the one she hears him use towards his employees. “Period. Henry is staying and that’s final” She bites her own tongue, stopping her own fingers from continuing to go through her hair. She can see him through the bathroom mirror. He is frowning as he finishes tying his swimming trunks.

“Fine” She snaps back as she tries her best not to feel offended by his sharp and demanding tone. “When are we leaving?” She exhales as she turns to face him, leaning against the bathroom counter. David’s frown softens and his demeanor instantly changes. The dark cloud over his head seems to evaporate in seconds.

“A week from today” He hates using that tone on her, but his temper runs short when people defied him. He still feels shitty because he knows that she only meant well. “Come here” David reaches out. She cautiously walks up to him. His hands make their way around her waist before nudging the side of her head with his forehead. He puckers his lips asking for a kiss. She can’t stop a smile from spreading at his soft gesture. She gently gives him a chaste kiss. “Let’s go upstairs. My mom is probably waiting for us”.

The rest of Dobrik’s clan is waiting for them. The food has been served on the big table on the sun deck. All types of meat including lamb and a bunch of sides have been placed on the table. Y/N grips his hand tightly as they approach the table, she can’t help feeling like everyone knows what they were doing.

“There you are! I almost went looking for you” Mrs. Dobrik calls out, “Please sit and enjoy” David pulls Y/N’s seat out for her before sitting beside her. They quietly start serving themselves meanwhile Y/N tries to ignore Mr. Dobrik’s hard stare.

“Is there something you would like to share, father?” His stare certainly doesn’t go unnoticed by his oldest. Mr. Dobrik looks over at David with pursing lips.

“I don’t think it’s a dining table conversation son. It’s best if we leave it for later” David raises an eyebrow at him as he tries to figure out what he is referring to.

“Then I suggest you stop starring at my girlfriend and making her uncomfortable” Y/N’s eyes widen as she turns to look at David, wanting to smack him for his bluntness. If she wasn’t feeling uncomfortable, she certainly is now. The entire table is completely quiet. It is a staring contest between the men of the family aside from Nathaniel, who seems too invested in his food to participate.

“Forgive me, Y/N. I didn’t mean to be rude” Mr. Dobrik tears his eyes away from his son’s that look so much like his mother’s. He is apologizing, but Y/N could see that he didn’t mean a single word.

“There is no need, Mr. Dobrik. It’s no big deal” Y/N fakes smile at him before staring down to her food. Mrs.Dobrik exhales loudly as she tries her best to thinking of something quickly to break the awkward tension.

“Snorkeling or tubbing next, Y/N?” It is Allison who finally interjects as she reaches out for the giant bowl of cold pasta salad.

“Tubbing? On what?” Y/N giggles; thankful to have Allison around.

“On a hot dog or burger. It’s your choice” David’s younger sister knew how uncomfortable her brother and father can make guests feel. Allison is reliving the same situation that she endured when she had brought Nate home. Her father had treated him like shit. It wasn't until Allison put her foot down and David almost threw himself on his father that he stopped his snarling and condescending comments towards Nate. Either way, he still treated him unkindly at times.

Allison knows that it’s worthless to stay mad at her father. He has always been this way. They have all tried to change him, but they haven’t had much success. Allison just doesn’t understand why her mother never says anything and allows their father to walk all over them.

“Hot dog sounds fun” Y/N smiles as she looks back down at her food. The altercation had honestly ruined her appetite.  David seems to have no problem eating. He looks unbothered by it, but in reality, he is fuming from inside. He is beyond pissed. He just can’t wait until everyone leaves and he can have a moment alone with his father. Mr. Dobrik was going to get a piece of his mind whether he likes it or not.

Allison and Nate are the first to excuse themselves after coffee and dessert. Mrs. Dobrik rises to her feet and looks over at Y/N who seems uncomfortable.

“Let’s go honey” She stretches out her hand for take. Just as Y/N pushes her seat away from the table, Mr. Dobrik’s hand smacks against the table. All the plates, silverware, and porcelain shake; startling the women.

“You leave,” Mr. Dobrik says as he looks at his wife. “This has nothing to do with you”.

“Excuse me?” Mrs. Dobrik asks back with her hands on her hips.

“I told you to leave. Don’t make me ask you again because it won’t be nice” He snaps at her, causing her for her demeanor to instantly changed. That tone is too familiar to her and hearing it only brings dark memories. Horrible memories enough to make her feel scared and bite down her tongue. 

“Do not talk to my mother like that” It’s David’s turn to snap at him. He can’t sit back and watch how his father verbally abuses his mother. He might not be hitting her, but he knows that his words have the same effect. His words sometimes hurt her more than his fists.

“She is my wife! I can talk to her however I please!” Mr. Dobrik responds. Not fone bit aced by his son's harsh tone.

“Honey, just listen to your father. I am fine” She feels like a fool for believing her husband's promise. He had promised her that he wouldn’t cause a conflict.

“Go with my mom, babe” David can change the tone of his voice for her as he sees his girlfriend’s concern expression. Y/N quickly stands up to comply with his demand. 

“NO! This is concerns her therefore she should be here” Mr. Dobrik exclaims making both women shake. Y/N stops moving as Mrs.Dobrik continues walking out and gives her a reassuring nod.

“I just told you to leave, Y/N” David’s protecting side arising. He doesn’t want her around just in case it gets uglier.

“It’s okay” Y/N knows that his father won’t back out and whatever he has to say she can take it. She isn’t going to hide behind David. She is a strong, independent woman that could take the ignorant opinions of an abusing man, especially with her boyfriend by her side —at least that what she thinks. David purses his lips and looks back at his father.

“It’s funny how your girlfriend has more balls than you, David” Mr.Dobrik sarcastically chuckles as he looks over at Y/N. “I am surprised, Ms. Y/L/N. I didn’t think you had it in you”.

“You don’t know many things about me, Mr. Dobrik. You would be astounded to know that I am not like other women” She snaps back as tries her best not to feel intimidated.

“That is certainly true. I was surprised to find out that you aren’t who you say you are, Ms. Y/LN. Did you know that, son?” He asks as he looks over at his oldest. “You have no idea who you are sleeping with”.  David chuckles but continues to listen to his preposterous statements. “Is Y/N even your real name?”. 

“It is Mr. Dobrik and I’ve been nothing, but honest with your son. Therefore, I would love to hear an apology coming from you” She kindly smiles at him. 

“She is a fucking nanny, David!” He snaps, Y/N calm demeanor is easily getting under his skin. “She doesn’t work for Alessandro. Is all bullshit. “She is probably some gold digger” He looks at her with disgust. 

That was enough for David.  

“Don’t you fucking dare to talk about her like that” Mr. Dobrik smirks pleased with the reaction has he has just gotten out of him. “I am well aware that she is a nanny, father” David chuckles as he crosses his fingers with one another, entertained by the show that his father has just put on.

“She doesn’t even come from a proper family. How do you think that the media will react when they find out that she is nothing, but your son's nanny?!” He spats. 

“I took her to the gala, father. They already know. We were seen by hundredths and a bunch of pictures where taken of us” David rolls his eyes before rising to his feet. “Instead of making a big altercation of this, you could have just asked me about it and I would’ve told you. I am not hiding her”. David takes Y/N hand, ready to leave. 

“Her father is dead, David.  God only knows who and where her mother is!” Mr.Dobrik says just before they can leave the room. The small comment is enough for Y/N to let David’s hand go and turn back.

“You have no right to talk about my father, Mr.Dobrik. Let alone about my mother or anything that concerns my family. You might have all the money that anyone could dream of, but not everything can be resolved with money. You are an abuser and at least my father never touched or thought about hurting any of us. Instead of continuing to mistreat your family maybe you could thank them for all the abuse that they’ve had to endure. You should also worship the ground that Mrs. Dobrik walks on because she deserves an award for keeping up with your horrific personality and cruel attitude”  His snarly comment about her father had been enough to set her up in flames. No one would ever mess up his memory especially when she was around. She loves her father and all she has left of him is the fun-loving memories of him and she isn’t going to allow anyone to change that.

TAGS: @getmepizzza​, @yourwonderbelle​, @nohalohoseok​, @lavendercuddles​, @2007rh​, @jeezkiddo​, @beeechhh​, @duh-dobrik​, @kllycole​, @meanlopz817​, @snazzydobrik​, @frickin-bats​, @wonderlandlovelove​, @millie-753​, @cubanidiot​, @itsdaviddobrik​, @justlikehufflepuff​, @clarissahunter​, @saltysebastianstan​, @galaxy-moon​, @alyssajunell​, @crowdedimagines​, @pineappledobrik​, @roxyedobrik​, @owenniasstars​, @didyouheartherain​, @marvelgirl2118​, @daviddobrikssflamethrower​, @kennedyf16​, @meleniearaujo9​

[coeurdastronaute]

Either/Or: Single 9

Previously on Single

Things were going well. Things were going outrageously well, and Lena didn’t know what to do about it. Sometimes, she didn’t even think about it, just kind of did it. As much as she wanted to overthink her way out of everything, it just didn’t happen, because Kara was easy, and Lena felt good, for the first time in such a long time. It was like waking up and realizing she hadn’t been aware of so many things. 

Most importantly, Lena was finding that she just fit well with Kara Danvers. She fit well enough to be comfortable, and she wasn’t sure that she’d ever been comfortable with another person, and as foreign as it was, Lena wasn’t running away, as she thought she might. Weirdly enough, she stuck around. 

“I’m sorry I’m late. I am so sorry. I got stuck on the phone. I’m so so sorry,” Lena chattered as she hurried to sit down at the table her girlfriend held. 

“Hey, take a breath,” Kara chuckled and waited until Lena actually took a breath. She smiled and waited. “I got your text. Don’t worry. It’s okay.” 

“I know, but I didn’t mean to be late.” 

“I’d hope not. I’m a great lunch companion.” 

“That’s true. My favorite.” 

Kara beamed, and Lena loved that smile. She loved the feeling of making Kara smile the most because she never imagined she was someone who was funny enough to make anyone, let alone Kara smile. 

“You look very pretty today,” Kara offered. “Even when you’re all frazzled.” 

“I’m never frazzled. I am a Luthor. We do not get frazzled.” 

“Tell that to the girl who just ran into Gio’s like her butt was on fire.” 

“You look beautiful, by the way.”

“There’s my girl.” 

Lunch dates were a fairly new invention to Lena who was used to dates late in the evening after work, usually with drinks, usually with sex after. That was the extent of the interactions she had in the dating world. But lunch dates were honestly the best. It meant Lena got out of the office, and it meant an hour of solid flirting and talking with Kara, uninterrupted by anything else. Sometimes, lunch dates were in one of their respective office, and sometimes it was in a new restaurant or an old favorite. Lena made sure to ask Kara at least once per week. She was doing her best to quantify being a girlfriend, and a great one. 

Most of the time they were successful in being uninterrupted. It was easy to do when even Jess was fond of letting Lena have those lunches. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, but I have to…” Kara trailed off as she looked at the number that appeared on her phone. 

“I’ll allow it, as the better girlfriend.” 

She rolled her eyes before picking up the call and excusing herself from the table to take it outside. Lena smiled into her glass and grabbed another slice of pizza from the shared tray between them. Even though she now had the moment to do it, Lena didn’t bother picking up her phone. 

“Can you take care of the check with this?” she smiled politely at the waitress and handed over her card. “And if you could, two orders of tiramisu, one for the table, and one to go.” 

“Of course, Ms. Luthor. How was everything?” 

“Gio is going to be responsible for my wardrobe not fitting.” 

“It’s worse working here. I have to work out twice as much.” 

“I can’t imagine. My girlfriend has the metabolism of a greyhound. I’ve never been more jealous.” 

“That’s a superpower I would want most of all. Eat all of the carbs and they didn’t count,” she chuckled and picked up a few plates and glasses. “I’ll be right back with that. And I’ll box up this up for you.” 

“Thanks.” 

It took a few more minutes, but Kara came back to the table, noticeably more sullen than when she walked outside. 

“That face doesn’t look like someone who has tiramisu on the way and another to take home for their afternoon snack.” 

“God, you’re the best,” the reporter sighed, though her mood didn’t improve. “That was a lead on my pollution story. I wasn’t sure I’d get the chance to interview a controller and purchaser for the state, but there was an opening through a friend of a friend. What?” 

“Nothing, you’re just… I like when you talk about work. Usually it’s me that does that. It’s refreshing. Tell me more.” 

The tiramisu was placed in front of them, and Kara picked up a fork immediately as she kept talking. 

“I’ve been waiting for a break, or at least a chance to ask some real questions. I mean, I’ve practically memorized the budget for waste management and funding for companies and their waste. But I haven’t been able to get anyone to go on record.”

“But you’ve found someone,” Lena reminded her, taking a bite of the shared dessert. She watched Kara watch her lips and gulp before going for more. 

“I, uh, yeah, I do. But I don’t have anyone to watch Katie. Alex is away on her anniversary trip, my mom is at a conference. And I can’t string together everyone else. It wouldn’t work.” 

“Ow long do you have to go for?” 

“Should just be like two days. I have to go the capitol. But I can fly back. You know. Like… fly, fly.” 

Things had been easy since Mon-El left. There was a peace that existed there, and Lena really didn’t mind spending time with Katie. It was easier to do when she knew everything, and even when she heard Kara’s stories of home and her mother. But somehow Kara’s ex made the couple feel closer together. Weirdly enough, it made Lena feel more comfortable to know that Kara was all in. 

“I’ll take her.” 

“Um, what?” Kara furrowed and debated before giving Lena the last bite. She was gunning for the best girlfriend slot again and that was the most selfless thing she could think of. 

“You didn’t ask me, but I can watch Katie.” 

“Well, yeah, but we’re going slow. And I didn’t-- I mean I wouldn’t--”

“It’ll be a good way to get to know her and I’m a responsible adult individual who can do that.” 

Across the table, Kara looked at her girlfriend and debated. Her daughter was a lot, and was even more for someone who didn’t have much experience. But Lena knew everything already and she was a capable adult individual. 

“Are you sure?” 

“Yes. I mean it. I am going to have to get good at kids… or at least one kid, and it’s this kid. So I should try. I mean, she’s indestructible, so who better to practice on.”

“That’s almost a good point,” Kara nodded and chuckled at Lena’s pragmatic explanation. “But are you sure you want to?” 

To her credit, Lena thought about it again, debating over her idea. And when she looked at Kara, she felt her heart grow and swell and her chest grew warm. It was a feeling she adored having, but she was afraid of getting used to it. If she fell in love with Kara, and if she couldn’t do the kid thing, then it would hurt. Better to find out sooner, rather than later. 

Plus, she was trying to be the best girlfriend, and Kara had given her the last bit of tiramisu. 

“I want to. I want you to be able to go do  your work stuff and not worry. You should be able to count on me.” 

“I do.” 

“Okay. Then it’s decided. I will be an expert babysitter and you will conquer the world.” 

“You’re amazing, did you know that?” 

“I did actually.” 

Kara smiled and let her girlfriend have it. Lena might not have known it, though Kara suspected she did, since her brain was always thinking things over-- but it was a big deal, and they knew what it meant. 

“So long as you knew,” Kara smiled. 

XXXXXXXXXX

Lena didn’t do anything without careful planning and extreme research. Babysitting was no different. For a few hours, she shirked work and looked up topical subjects to discuss with a five year old. She looked up all kinds of things, reading parenting blogs about how to handle things like tantrums and what foods were healthiest. Lena even learned basic life-saving techniques like the Heimlich and refreshed her CPR skills as best she could from a webpage. She had a wonderful pep talk and extensive list of instructions from her girlfriend. 

She was ready. Or as ready as anyone could hope to be. 

Somehow, in the grand scheme of things, Lena found herself standing outside of an elementary school, waiting for a child to appear.  

“Lena! I’m so ‘cited to see you!” Katie hopped down the steps and skipped toward her through the crowd of people. 

“Hey! I’m excited to see you too.” 

“Do you want to help me with my homework but can we play first?”

There was a lot of energy happening, but Lena smiled because Katie held her hand and persisted to tell her about her day at school. She truly was like her mother in so many ways. 

“We can definitely play first. I really want to go on the swings,” Lena decided. “And I was thinking maybe cheeseburgers for dinner?” 

“Oh, I love cheeseburgers!” 

“Me too!” 

The park was fairly busy with the bustle of the afternoon crowd, but still, they tossed the backpack in the car and took to the park joyfully. Lena came prepared, exchanging her heels for sneakers and work out clothes. The thing she kept reading was that the best practice with children was to get on their level and take part in their activities. That meant running around, and as much as she kind of dreaded pretending to have fun, Lena allowed herself the time to enjoy it. 

They stopped at the best burger place in the city and ordered their food when Kara called to check on them and say goodnight. Lena found it comical how big her phone was in comparison to Katie’s tiny hand. 

“How’s the investigating going, darling?” Lena smiled into her phone while Katie asked for help with her ketchup packet. 

“So far so good,” Kara breathed, somewhat relieved on the other side of the line. “You two seem to be having a good time.” 

“I don’t want to jinx it, but we are. We’re going to head back home and do homework, bath, and bed. Easy night.” 

“And I am across the country while you’re in my bed. It’s a travesty.” 

“I agree.” 

There was a tiny blush as Lena hurried to eat a fry and shut up before she said something stupid in front of a kid.

“Thank you for doing this. I mean it. It means so much to me, and--”

“Just admit I’m the best girlfriend.” 

“I admit it. I’ll sing it from the rooftops.” 

“Don’t worry about us here. Just go do what you gotta do, and we’ll see you on Sunday evening.” 

“It’s a date. Have a good night. I’ll try to call in the morning.” 

“Bye Mommy!” Katie sang towards the phone. 

“Bye, Kara,” Lena offered with just as much joy. 

“Bye ladies. Have fun!” 

With the phone hung up, and the two left at their small table, Lena looked at Katie who just looked back at her before taking a big bite of her burger. 

“Is this what it’s always like?” Lena asked. 

“Yeah except we don’t always eat burgers sometimes Mom makes me eat other foods.”

The CEO just smiled and ate another fry. 

XXXXXXXXXX

Maybe she was just overprepared or overconfident, but Lena found that following her schedule was a perfect way to pass the time with a kid. As she promised Kara, they worked on some homework and got a bath and shower respectively. Lena was only nervous half of the time of doing something wrong, and that was a win and a half for her. 

“And they lived happily ever after,” Lena finished reading the story and closed the book, satisfied by the book well enough. 

Part of what made her nervous about kids was that she honestly had no interest in how unintelligent they were. They just weren’t fully formed yet and found burps amusing and watched such droll and dull shows and read such easy books, and she couldn’t fake interest well at all. She’d been pleasantly surprised by how unannoyed she found herself with all of Katie’s childish things. 

“We can read another,” Katie offered, trying to get out of bed to find another book. 

“I think three was more than enough,” Lena shook her head, amused by the treachery that was attempted. “You should sleep now so I can work on my homework.” 

“Do you need some help? I’m good at homework, you saw mine. It was so good.” 

“Mine’s very boring. You wouldn’t like it,” she promised, pulling the blankets up. “But thank you for offering.”

“Is Mommy going to be home soon?” 

Her eyes were like Kara’s and her chin tilted in the same way. It was amazing to see in person, and genetics, though a simple enough concept, was magnificent. 

“She will be home in a couple of days. But for now, I’m going to stay here. I’ll sleep in your mom’s room.” 

“Like when you stay over sometimes.” 

“Yes, right, exactly,” Lena blushed slightly. 

“Where do you live?” 

“Oh, Well, I live downtown. My house is high up in a tall building

“Can I see it?” 

“There aren’t any toys or fun things for kids to do, you wouldn’t like it.” 

“But you live there and you’ve seen where I live.” 

That was fair Lena realized before being caught by the notion that a five year old was outsmarting her somewhat in the logic department. 

“Maybe we’ll go see it. But I can’t promise.” 

“Sounds good.”

“Good night, Katie. Sleep well. Sweet dreams.” 

“Night, Lena.”

Door finally closed behind her, Lena wasn’t aware of how exhausting Katie had been until she was left in the quiet. And she still had the kitchen to clean up and her work to get done. She wanted to tell Kara that she was amazing for getting it all done and still working on her career. Instead of calling her though, Lena decided she was going to be someone Kara could count on more often. 

XXXXXXXXXX

“Oh Christ!” Lena jolted awake when she saw two eyes staring back at her and felt a hand on her cheek. Her heart leaped and thumped until she realized where she was and who was touching her. 

Katie just giggled and climbed into the bed completely. 

“Good morning. I woke up and went potty and now I’m very hungry. Like I could eat a stack of pancakes.” 

“Let me catch my breath… for a minute…”

“You’re scared when you waked up.” 

“I don’t have kids at my house waking me up usually. I was just a little frightened.” 

Lena turned her head and looked at the little girl who made herself comfortable in the big bed, very close to her. Before she could say something, she felt her phone vibrating and reached for it quickly. 

Katie bounced a little and urged Lena to help with breakfast while the CEO tried to hear what was happening on the other end of the line. 

“Why don’t you go set the table for breakfast,” Lena tried, covering her phone while her assistant kept telling her about what happened with some deal. 

An instant later, little feet made their way down the hall and Lena was able to focus on the task at hand. In a matter of five minutes, she realized that she would have to go into the office to handle it, and now she was unsure of if babysitting was a good idea. 

But it was too late to second guess it. 

“George, hey, I’m so sorry to call-- yes,” Lena smiled as she made her way down the hall. “Could you pick me up at Kara’s…” Katie was already watching cartoons. “And stop and pick up a booster seat.”  

XXXXXXXXXX

“Wow… your office is very cool and awesome,” Katie observed as she sat behind the big desk, eyes wide and enjoying the seat. “I like the windows.” 

“Thanks. It’s alright, I guess,” Lena smiled to herself as she looked around her office. 

“That’s my mom.” 

Katie pointed at the picture frame that had the pair at a gala month ago. Kara had her arm around Lena’s waist and was smiling happily. Lena remembered when they got a little tipsy and stumbled back to her place and the dresses didn’t survive the needy hands and eagerness both exhibited. It was a good memory, and it took that for Lena to realize what useful things photographs were. 

“It is. We went to a party together.” 

“Why do you have it on your desk?” 

“Because I like to look at it and feel happy. Your mom makes me feel happy when I’m kind of bored or stressed. She makes me smile.” 

Katie thought about it and nodded, furrowing at the picture. 

“Yeah, she’s good at making people smile.” 

Her legs kicked and couldn’t reach the floor. Lena took a picture and sent it to Kara so she could see her daughter as CEO-in-training. And then Lena got to the task of running her company while entertaining a child. It was an extra level of difficulty she hadn’t anticipated, but Katie was well behaved, coloring a little and then watching a movie on the couch in the corner while Jess plied her with popcorn and juice. Every step of the way, she asked Lena what she was doing, and even though she didn’t understand anything at first, she listened intently and decided that Lena’s job really was boring. 

Lena had to agree. 

“So the other people didn’t like your… stipala-- stiplat-- what was it?” 

“Stipulations,” Lena explained again with a smile. “Right. So now I have to give them more money to accept those and my board doesn’t want to.” 

“You have lots of money?” 

“Yes. But do you want to know a secret?” Katie nodded eagerly as she leaned against the desk. “When you have a lot of money, you don’t tell people that you do.” 

“Why?” 

“It’s kind of boring to talk about.” 

“What does this company do?” 

“They kind of make new inventions.” 

“That’s pretty cool.” 

Lena type away for a second and waited for another call from her board. She knew the telltale signs of someone who was sick of being stuck in the office, as she’d once been that little girl dragged along when promised something else. She was really mucking up the whole babysitting thing, and she did, desperately, wanted Katie to like her. 

“I don’t think there’s much more I can do right now, they just need my signature,” Lena sat back. “Want to do a little experiment? I can show you what this new company does with magnets and electricity.” 

“An experiment?” Katie asked, perking up slightly. 

“Press that button,” Lena pointed toward her phone. “And you can ask Jess for our supplies.” 

Lena wasn’t sure she’d ever seen such excitement, and she was certain she’d never connected with a kid like she did right there with Katie, her entire life coming full circle. Katie slid into her lap and Lena thought she might have understood a little better.

[athingthatwantsvirginia]

Pretty Gertrude Stein

PART NINETEEN OF THE DO YOU SEE HER FACE? SERIES

Pairing: Jess Mariano x Original Character (Ella Stevens)

Warnings: mentions family issues, anxiety about future, plentiful pop culture references

Word Count: 3.9K

Summary: To congratulate Jess for an award, Ella gets him a lucky bouquet, and arguments over the future ensue.

A cozy, aged smell filled the bookstore, aisles lined tightly with weathered pages. Ella ran a finger along the ancient, dusty spines. She didn’t have a massive budget, exactly, but they’d stopped in partially because of the Edgar Allen Poe decorations. The author’s fan society had begun rolling into town the day before, and all the Stars Hollow businesses were taking advantage of the possibility for sales, the bookstore only one of many. Sighing heavily, she pursed her lips and decided she should move on to the next shelf. There, she found Jess with a couple dystopian novels in his hands. Brave New World, Fahrenheit 451. He was on a masochistic kick, as always, but instead of heartbreak it was now the fate of the world.

“I’ll have to give you The Handmaid’s Tale next. Probably scarier than both of those combined,” she said, gesturing to the books in his hands as she crossed her arms over her chest.

Jess shrugged. “Not everyone reads things for the terror factor, Morticia.”

“Well, not everyone can handle it,” she quipped, smirking.

He chuckled, then turned away from the various volumes and held the books to his chest. “You ready to go?”

Ella nodded.

“Really? Not even the Poes are striking your fancy?” he asked, raising his eyebrows at her empty hands as they made their way to Andrew at the register.

“Trying to save up. Textbooks and whatnot.”

“Very wise of you, college girl,” he said, nodding at Andrew as he put his choices on the desk.

She breathed a sigh through her nose. “Besides, master of horror or not, Poe was still a creep who married his thirteen-year-old cousin.”

“Fair enough,” Jess agreed, digging in the pocket of his jeans for some crumpled dollar bills.

“But, when you consider the time period-” Andrew began as he placed Jess’s books in a paper bag, but Ella immediately cut him off and raised a hand.

“His wife was a child who was a victim of oppressive patriarchal norms. I’m not even entertaining this conversation, Andrew. Good luck with the crazies this weekend,” she said, bidding him goodbye as soon as Jess had the bag in his right hand, grabbing his left and leading him towards the door.

Jess smirked proudly at her as they exited the store into the April evening. Squeezing her hand, he pressed a kiss to her cheek. The air was still slightly warm from the sunny afternoon, even as the pinkish evening came. Ella breathed in the night and glanced over at the town square. The gazebo was empty below the twinkling lights. She and Jess were set to study for the evening, with Jimi Hendrix on the record player. Though they both were aware the night would probably end in distraction.

“You wanna hang out tomorrow?” she asked. “We could go to the movies or something? Or we could watch those fake Poes butcher ‘The Raven’ at Patty’s?”

Jess shrugged. “Actually, I’ve gotta go to Shangri-la.”

“Really?” she asked, eyebrows furrowing. “I thought they didn’t schedule you for Saturdays anymore?”

“The exception that proves the rule.”

Snickering, she stopped walking and turned to face him with a smirk. “If you’re mixed up in something, you can just go ahead and tell me, Scarface.”

He rolled his eyes. “Very funny, Daria. I just…”

“What?” she asked, face falling into a frown of concern.

Heaving a sigh, he finally locked eyes with her again. “I’m employee of the month and I get two hundred dollars for going to this stupid ceremony.”

A wide smile blossomed on her face, and she stood on her tiptoes to kiss him, hands winding into his hair. Jess paused in surprise for a moment, then sunk into the moment with her. His skin tingled beneath her fingers, and he felt her lips turned upwards against his own. Pleasant giggles bubbled from her lips as they separated, though she kept her palms on his shoulders.

“That’s great, Jess.”

He shook his head humbly. “It’s not a big deal. I’m only going so I can get the money.”

“I’m serious, Mariano. I’m really proud of you,” Ella said earnestly.

“Thanks,” he replied quietly, cheeks tinted pink, gaze cast downwards.

“You’re welcome. You’re the fucking best.”

She planted one last peck to his lips before grabbing his hand again. There was a moment of comfortable silence before she nudged him playfully with an elbow.

“So, what time’s the ceremony tomorrow?” she asked.

Narrowing his eyes at her, he shook his head slightly. “No way.”

“C’mon, James Dean! I’ll sit in the back.”

Sighing again, he rolled his eyes. “Fine. If you promise not to bring ridiculous balloons like you did for Rory’s birthday.”

She scoffed. “Of course not.”

“You gotta promise.”

“I promise. Cross my heart,” she said, kissing his cheek.

.   .   .

Three knocks sounded on the door, and Jess finally pulled himself away from the Twilight Zone episode on the TV near the kitchen table. The Sunday afternoon crowd chattered in a monotone hum down below, and the smell of burgers filled the apartment. Sighing, he ran a hand through his ungelled hair and trudged over to the entrance. A small look of surprise crossed his face when he saw Ella, in a faded green dress and her battered converse, hair falling loose around her face. He hadn’t seen her since the ceremony the previous day, after which he had picked up a shift. Luckily, she had sat quietly in the back, alongside Luke. She’d had time to give him a quick peck on the lips in congratulations before he had to go move stock.

He couldn't help but be rendered silent when she told him how proud she was. It made nauseous butterflies rise in his stomach and up his throat, and a blush spread on his face. Often the way she made him feel was new and pleasant, but when she praised him it was undoubtedly an uncomfortable feeling. So foreign he couldn’t decide whether it was positive.

“Hey, Mariano,” she greeted him, nodding slightly. “Do you have a vase?”

“What?”

She shrugged, smirking. “Well, I got you these flowers,” she said, bringing a bouquet of red roses from behind her back, “but I’m concerned now that you won’t have a vase.”

He couldn’t help the doubtful laugh which escaped his lips. “You...got me flowers?”

Ella sighed through her nose, then brushed past him into the apartment, placing the flowers on the table and searching through the cabinets. Standing on her tiptoes, Jess watched her dress rise up, her legs in full view. He bit at his lip, brows furrowed as he tried to make sense of the situation.

“Since I promised no fanfare at the ceremony yesterday, I thought I’d give you something today. And I know you have a hatred of balloons, so flowers seemed like a natural option. But now that I’m here I’m worried about the vase situation. I certainly can’t take these flowers back to my house; they’ll die within a day! I mean, why do you think I only have cacti? I can’t keep anything else alive!”

Jess, eyebrows raised, nodded along with her rambling, amusement growing on his face. His hands were shoved in his pockets. Eventually, Ella gave a frustrated huff, crease between her brows, and took a beer stein from the cabinet near the sink. She filled it with tap water and placed it down on the table, wiping her hands on her dress and tucking her hair behind her ears before going to work on the bouquet.

“Can I have some scissors?” she asked suddenly, locking eyes with him again.

“Oh...yeah,” he said, grabbing some from his desk. After handing them to her, he leaned against a kitchen chair on his palms.

Ella found her eyes flicking up to the TV a few times as she cut the bouquet open and trimmed the stems of the roses diagonally. A dying man dealt masks out to his family, which would end up disfiguring them all in the end. “I love this episode.”

“You like all the macabre ones.”

“But of course,” she said, smiling over at him for a moment.

“I can’t believe you got me roses,” he said slowly, a smirk still present.

She shrugged. “Why not? I mean, it’s no two hundred bucks, but I just...thought you deserved them. A rose is a rose is a rose.”

“Huh.”

“And I didn’t go full Lloyd Dobbler with the boombox outside your window, so you’re welcome.”

He chuckled breathily. “Thank you.”

After arranging them to her liking, Ella stepped back and regarded the stein. When she decided it was good enough, she balled up the crinkly clear plastic the bouquet had been wrapped in and threw it away.

“Pretty Gertrude Stein of you, Stevens,” he said, still slightly flabbergasted at her move.

Again, she shrugged, hands on her hips. “A little saccharine, but it seemed fitting. And I got you the bouquet with thirteen instead of twelve. My mom always said those were lucky.”

“But you don’t believe in luck.”

“No, but I think it’s good to cover all your bases.”

A full smile broke out on his face, and he wrapped his arms around her waist, bringing her in for a long kiss. Pulling away from her, Jess kept his smile. “And you say I’m the romantic.”

Ella rolled her eyes at him. “If I bought you all the bouquets in the world, it still wouldn’t match your love of Hemingway. The bigger Hemingway fan is always the bigger romantic. It’s a universal law.”

“I disagree wholeheartedly.”

“Of course you do.”

“But thank you,” he added quietly.

“You’re welcome,” she replied.

.   .   .

The Replacements played over the boombox, Ella on the end of the bed and Jess leaned up against the wall at the head. Golden, dusky light streamed in through the windows of the apartment. Ella’s history textbook sat open in front of her crossed legs, as she scribbled on a notebook in her lap. Biting at her thumb nail, she glanced up at Jess. He wrote something in the margin of his Huxley novel, already nearly finished. It made her want to roll her eyes; she could never even come close to matching his reading speed. A long afternoon of making out with The Twilight Zone as background noise had bled into an evening of studying. Ella almost always had various homework in her bag, in case of a random study session at Luke’s corner table.

“Jess?”

“Hm?” he asked, eyes still on the words.

Hesitating for a moment, she put down her pencil and ran her fingers through the ends of her hair. “Are you...going to school?”

Brows furrowed, he marked the place in his book and tilted his head at her. “What kind of a question is that?”

She sighed, trying to formulate the right words. “Just...we don’t have any classes together and I’m always in the art room during lunch. Your manager mentioned something about you working forty-five hours a week yesterday...and you’re always so tired.”

“Jeez, Big Brother,” he snapped. “Need my alibi for a specific date and time?”

She scoffed, doubling down. “Fuck, Jess, I just wanna make sure you’re not working too much. I mean, if you don’t graduate, you can’t stay with Luke anymore.”

“I’m aware.”

“I’m glad,” she shot back. “Forgive me for not wanting my boyfriend to end up homeless!”

“I’ve got it under control.”

Nodding doubtfully, she sighed again. “Fine. But if you need help or-”

“Stop it, Eleanor. I don’t need you to worry.  I don’t need your help. I think I can handle my cursive practice and my arithmetic,” he deadpanned. “If I need help, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse will be a satisfactory supplement.”

Her jaw tensed and she bit the inside of her cheek. Then, so quickly Jess could barely even register what was happening, she was packing up her stuff and over by the door, tugging on her shoes.

“You can be such a dick sometimes,” she said, shaking her head to herself.

“Taking your dramatic exit now, Norma Jennings?” he asked, his voice dripping with angry sarcasm.

Licking her lips, she tucked her hair behind her ears in frustration. “Maybe I’ll go to the library and study, so I can graduate and get outta this town someday. And not think about how all the work I’ve done the past four years is some joke to you. Holden fucking Caulfield.”

“Elle, I didn’t mean it that way,” he sighed, getting up from the bed, ready to run after her if necessary.

She crossed her arms over her chest. “Then how’d you mean it?”

He ran a hand through his hair. “I just...I’m doing fine! If I need to catch up, I will. All I need to do is pass! You can stop worrying!”

“You can’t stop me from worrying, Jess! It’s what I do!” she insisted, gesturing wildly with her hands. “If Luke kicks you out, what are you gonna do?”

“He won’t kick me out!” he replied, voice raised. “I’ve got school under control. So I take a few shifts, who cares? It’s not your problem!”

“I just…” she began uneasily, shaking her head. “You would tell me? If you were falling behind?”

“Yes.”

She arched an eyebrow at him, still obviously annoyed. “Really? If you were one step from not graduating, you would actually tell me and let me help you?”

Jess rolled his eyes. “My god, you’re like a broken record! I would tell you!”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Why does graduation have to be such a big deal, anyway?”

“Because it is!” she shouted back. “I know you don’t like it, but if you don’t graduate, you won’t have a place to live! Why can’t you just grow up and realize it?”

Brows furrowing, Jess took a step back at the accusation. “What? Grow up like you? End up getting some bullshit job I don’t even like so that maybe, someday, I’ll end up where I wanna be?”

Ella scoffed. “At least I have a plan! At least I can actually handle thinking about the future! I mean, Jesus, Jess, bad things happen and you deal with them! You don’t just avoid them, and run away, and wait for them to solve themselves!”

“Getting to be valedictorian doesn’t make all your problems go away, Eleanor! They’re still here, in that house you never wanna go home to, where you’re trapping yourself for the next four years! I hate to break it to you, but no amount of sad music is gonna change that!”

Biting the inside of her cheek again, she looked down at her shoes. A charged silence hung in the air before she looked back up at him with fiery eyes, though full of sincerity. “You really wanna get kicked out of here? Fine. Fuck it! But, God, Jess, why can’t you just talk to me? Tell me the truth? What are you so afraid of?”

Heaving a sigh, Jess tried to come up with something to say. He ran a hand over his mouth, searching his mind for an answer, a witty retort, an accusation to deflect from the core problem, but nothing came. A blank drew in his mind; he was speechless, looking back at her expectant gaze.

When she realized he was done with the argument, shutting her out completely, she gave one last roll of her eyes. Her shoes were still untied as she left the apartment, bounding down the stairs. Jess waited for a moment, pondered going after her, but didn’t. If she hadn’t let that last question slip out of her mouth, he would have. He would have run after her down the street, found a way to convince her he knew what he was doing, he was sure of it. But he knew then that he couldn’t fool her. She could see right through him. Instead, he switched the music to some angry screamo, cranking the speakers up as far as they would go. He flopped down onto his bed, bringing the pillow over his head to block out the world, focusing only on the ear-bleeding music. The stein of roses sat alone on the kitchen table, stagnant and unchanging in the unhappy air.

.   .   .

Notes of “Für Elise” drifted from the dance studio out into the town square. Ella could hear it, making her feel nostalgic, as she sat reading Dorothy Parker in the gazebo. The Poe society packed the diner, having been forced to leave the Independence Inn after a fire the night before. Though she had tried more than once to get behind the counter, Luke told Ella it was already too crowded with Sookie having taken over the kitchen and brought the inn employees. She’d already done all her homework, in preparation for an evening of work, so her forced freedom was proving difficult to fill.

After a couple hours of sketching angrily in her room, Stevie Nicks on the record player, she decided she was too moody to face Fiona. Her stepmother was humming country music in the kitchen, making her tuna salad. Usually, she could stomach the small talk. But as she was still fuming about Jess beneath an outer layer of indifference, it was ultimately too dangerous. She didn’t need to add another screaming match to her recent hits. The night fell chilly as dinner time approached, but the twinkling lights offered enough, so she could still see the words on the page. Even if Fiona was upset she didn’t show up for the awkward, sit-down meal, Ella knew her father didn’t care. It would be easier to deal with.

The soft music floated around her, Mrs. Rothschild apparently taking advantage of the Poe crowd off for dinner to practice in solitude. Ella thought of the piano bench, the girl with the short red hair and vibrant blue eyes, who now danced on some stage in New York City, tuition paid with family money. Before meeting Veronica, Ella had known she found both men and women beautiful. After all, her first fictional crushes were a tie between Kevin and Winnie from The Wonder Years.

But she hadn’t thought of kissing Veronica before it happened, and when it did, she felt some piece of her heart falling into place. Even Rory and Lane didn’t know she was bisexual (a word she hadn’t known before reading it in a biography about Virginia Woolf). She wasn’t exactly scared of backlash, or open criticism. But she knew Stars Hollow well. She knew there were lingering eyes and judgmental whispers. She had decided it would be easier to label herself when she got away, got to a city where she could be whoever she wanted. Sometimes she wondered if she felt so out of place in her hometown more because of her mother, or because there was a part of her she couldn’t fully embrace there. If anyone asked, she would tell them, but no one ever thought to ask. She wasn’t ashamed, but she certainly wasn’t forthcoming.

Only Jess knew that part of her. Her mind wandered to the night she’d played “Rhiannon” for him, the way she’d decided on a whim to tell him the truth about her first kiss. For some reason, with Jess, it was easy. It was comfortable. She’d never met anyone who understood her the way he did, who knew what it was like to be out of place, to feel like there was something missing. No matter how much she loved Rory or Lane, or even Lorelai, she knew they wouldn’t quite get it. But Jess did. Jess always did. Breathing out a sigh, she tried to swallow down her thoughts of him and concentrate on the poetry in front of her instead.

Fiddling absently with her necklace, she tucked her legs underneath her and wished she had brought more than just her jean jacket.

“You’ll catch a cold if you stay out here too long, Stevens,” Jess drawled at her side, stepping up into the gazebo with an unreadable expression.

Startling slightly, Ella looked up from her book with a scowl. “You have no concept of weather, but thanks for the concern. It’s duly noted.”

“Anytime,” he said, taking a seat next to her, leaving a careful distance between them. They both stared ahead, into the bustling diner.

“Pretty chaotic in there, huh?”

He nodded. “Luke kicked me out.”

“And Lorelai slept in the apartment last night, right?” Ella asked dryly.

“Yeah.”

Uttering a quiet scoff, Ella shot him a momentary look. “Now the whole town’s gonna know you snore.”

“Avoided the press as long as I could.”

Ella quietly hummed in acknowledgement, nodding. An unusual awkwardness filled the space between them, and it took Jess a long moment before he mustered the courage to venture a look over at her. Her hair, pulled back messily, glinted with gold beneath the lights. Arms crossed over her patterned dress, she looked chilly and defensive. He could feel words choking his throat, but he swallowed them down and turned back to the diner.

“Are you gonna talk, or can I keep reading?” Ella asked, having felt him staring and fidgeting.

Blowing out a long sigh, he rubbed at his mouth. “I understand what you said.”

“Good,” she said shortly.

He chewed his bottom lip, brows furrowing in frustration. “I just...I can handle it. And I’m sorry for what I said.”

“Okay. I’m sorry too,” she replied half-heartedly. As much as she wanted to lose the tension in her shoulders, to let the topic drop, she couldn’t find it within herself. “Look, I’m not trying to...you’re eighteen, you can make your own choices, whatever. But I care about you and I want you to, one: have a place to live, and two: be able to have money. You and I both know how much it fucking sucks to not have money.”

“I do have money. I get it from working the way I do,” he argued.

Ella nodded slowly. “I know. Just...I want you to have everything you need. To write your novel and do whatever else, y’know? And I’m gonna worry, no matter what.”

“Believe me, I know,” Jess said, cracking a tiny smirk. Words from Lorelai echoed in his mind, and he gave a hesitant shrug. “But I know what I’m doing. You just have to trust me.”

She offered a small smile back. “Okay, I’ll try.”

“I’ll try too,” he said, bringing an arm around her shoulders. “And I want you to have everything you need, Stevens. Some studio with very organized art supplies and horror-movie-caliber sketches.”

“Sounds perfect.”

“It will be. I really am sorry,” Jess said. “But I want your someday to not just be a someday.”

“I know,” she sighed, bringing her head to his shoulder. “I’m really sorry, too, Jess.”

“Glad we sorted that out then,” he replied, pressing a kiss to her hair.

Ella cleared her throat and nodded against him. She leaned into him, warmer with his closeness. “Me too.”

Running his fingers gently up and down her arm, Jess took a deep breath and felt his heart relax.

[ablogofthecriminalmindsvariety]

Spencer and Aaron: Chapter One

Yay! First chapter of my first fic! I hope you like it! I will try to update in a timely manner, though I make no promises. Either read below the cut, or on Archive. Tis the Dharma and Greg AU, my lovlies! I hope you enjoy!!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24593317

Aaron Hotchner lived the life that most people would have expected him to live. A nice apartment in San Francisco. A successful job. Lunch with his hoity-toity parents every Sunday afternoon. He belonged to a country club. He was happy living his normal, boring, regular life. He would probably have a normal, boring wife, a few kids, a dog, white picket fence and apple pie.

And yet, on his way to work one morning, he found himself enraptured by a strange man that he bumped into on the subway. A stranger! Entirely out of the ordinary for him. Ordinary or no, though, he couldn’t help but feel disappointed when the doors shut in his face when he tried to step off of the train to go and talk to him. What he was going to say? He wasn’t sure about that much. But he knew he wanted to say something.

He seemed to have caught the eye of this stranger too, because as he went to watch him walk up the stairs and out of his life, he turned around and gave a little wave and a charming smile.

He could only watch pitifully in return.

The train ride seemed longer than usual, more unbearable than it was normally, and when he got to the office, he found that his mood was entirely dampened. Once he stepped out onto the floor, a stack of papers held in one hand and a cup of coffee clutched in the other, he saw someone sidle up to him.

“What’s got you so glum?” It was, of course, none other than Derek Morgan. Who else would have cared enough to ask, after all?

“I saw someone in the subway today.”

“That doesn’t sound so heartbreaking to me.”

He gave him a look. “Very funny. No, this someone was… special. Like we were meant to meet.”

“And let me guess, you let this mystery person get away?”

“Not so much me, as the subway doors, but yeah, I guess.”

“Well, if they got away, maybe it wasn’t meant to be after all.”

“Yeah, I guess so. You’re probably right anyway.”

“I do tend to be.” He plucked the cup of coffee from his hands and headed off towards his own desk before he could so much as get a word in about it, his shoulders shaking lightly with laughter.

As he opened the door to his office, he muttered a few words that were certainly less than kind about his friend and turned around to shut the door behind him when a voice interrupted him.

“What took you so long?”

His head snapped around so fast that he was sure he had just given himself whiplash. It was the man from the subway. Sitting cross legged. On his desk. Reading his newspaper.

“Wh- how-”

“I found a picture of you in the newspaper and found your name in a phone book.” He folded the newspaper and set it off to the side.

“Why?”

“Didn’t you feel it?”

“Feel what?”

“The connection.”

“I mean, sure, I guess-”

“Great! I think we’ve got a lot of catching up to do.” And before he could even blink, this stranger grabbed him by the wrist and was pulling him towards the door.

“Wait! Can’t I at least have your name?”

“Oh, duh! I’m Spencer. Great to meet you. Now, as I was saying. On a spiritual level, we’re totally connecting, but on a physical level, there’s a lot of catching up to be done. Do you like burgers?”

“I guess so-”

“Perfect. I know the best place.”

And so, found himself with someone who was practically a stranger, in a little burger shack on the coast. He had to admit, though, the burgers were pretty great. “How’d you find this place?”

“My parents went through a little ‘children of the ocean’ phase a while back and we camped out on the beach for four months.

“That is… a very interesting story.”

“Yeah, well, what can I say. We’re very interesting people.”

He rested his elbow on the table and propped his hand up on his elbow. “I gotta tell you, Spencer, I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. And I’ve never met anyone quite like you.”

He shrugged and took another bit of his burger. “A lot of people say tell me that.” He turned on his stool to look at him. “Though, I gotta tell you, I feel the same way. You, Aaron, are truly someone. Someone special. Though I think we already knew my standing on that. Do you like pie?”

“Sure. Where’s pie at? Los Angeles?”

“Nah.”

“Oh, tha-”

“It’s actually in Las Vegas.”

He couldn’t help but laugh. “Of course. Why am I not surprised?”

“Because you’ve figured out we’re full of surprises by now.”

And that was how he ended up flying to Vegas for pie with a man he’d really only just met on a Wednesday.

He had to admit, though, the pie was pretty good.

“What’d I tell you? Best pie on this side of the country.”

“I’ve gotta admit. This is some really great pie. You were right.”

“Yeah, I do tend to be.”

“Spencer, I’ve got to say. This has been the best date I’ve been on in a very long time. The most interesting one too.”

“This has been a pretty great date for me too.” He took another bite of the pie. “You know, my mom told me that when you look into your soulmate’s eyes, you can see all of the generations you’ll make.” He leaned forward, presumably to get a better look into his eyes.

“What do you see when you look into my eyes?”

“Hundreds and hundreds of generations to come. What do you see when you look into mine?”

“I see… I see the love that’s there.”

“You know, I’ve never felt this way about any man before. I knew as soon as I saw you, though, that you were someone special, Aaron Hotchner.”

“This has gone nothing like dates usually go for me.”

“Well, how do dates usually go?”

“We have a date, you like me okayish, I call you, you get annoyed, I keep calling you, you ignore me, and we never see each other again.”

“That sounds…”

“Awful? Yeah.”

They shared a laugh before the conversation lulled into a comfortable silence. “I feel like we’ve known each other for ages. I wish we didn’t have to go through all that ‘awkward, middle of the line dating stuff’.” “Why don’t we?”

“What?”

“Skip straight to the end. Get married.”

“That’s crazy.”

“So am I.”

“Spencer, this is some whole other level of crazy." He shrugged. "So? It could be a marvelous, wonderful great new adventure!" He looked at him for a moment, the wide smile, the sparkle in his eyes. "You know what… let’s do it. Let’s get married.”

And that was how he found himself in some cheesy, cheap, Vegas chapel with some guy who was doubtfully licensed for the job he had, but neither of them really cared. It was absolutely nothing that he thought his wedding day was going to be. The place, the person, none of it.

At the same time, though, he found that he didn’t really care. That even though it was nothing like he’d thought it was going to be, it was… well, it was perfect. Even if the officiator seemed like kind of a sleaze, and that he didn't really care about his job. He didn't mind, because... well, because Spencer was there. And it was what Spencer wanted, and that was what he cared about. Not some skeezeball officiator in a Vegas chapel with some weird stains on the walls that he didn't even want to begin to learn about.

And even though he’d only just met this man this morning, and even though in just about any other situation, he wouldn’t trust him in the slightest, he wouldn’t have trusted him, there was something about Spencer that made him feel like he didn’t have to worry about that. There was something about him.

And though it was in some cheap, trashy chapel, when they kissed, he felt happy. For the first time in a long time, he felt really, truly happy. So happy he could feel it in his toes, all the way up.

And if that was how he felt with Spencer? Then he would stick by him for as long as he'd have him.

[stories-you-wont-hear]

– four seasons. | dive

this mini-series is inspired by something a friend told me her boyfriend once told her that i thought was so damn romantic. he said something like, “I want to see all four seasons together with you.” that inspired this four-part bit with billy (pre-anvil), and if there’s interest, i might do it with other characters but billy is definitely the first one to come to mind when I got this idea. hope you all enjoy!

tag list: shameless-pope  bellastellaluna  the-scarletsandwich

The first time Billy saw you, you were standing at the edge of the pool in Castle’s backyard, your face twisted in annoyance. “Did you have to do that?” you asked him, hands on your hips, the front of your sundress soaked due to the cannonball he had just pulled in an attempt to wow the kids. Sure, a man of his stature didn’t have to do much to impress a bunch of little kids, but the rush from compliments for “Uncle Billy” were worth the effort. “Woah, Uncle Billy do it again!” Lisa yelled from across the pool. Billy couldn’t help but shoot you a grin, cocking his head to the side in a way only he could get away with. “No,” you said firmly, about to continue when Frank Jr. cut in. “But Aun-” 

Your eyebrow rose as you glared at the boy who had swam to the edge of the pool, “Francis David Castle Jr., your mother told me to get you little heathens to come eat and I will not fail her.” Both Lisa and Frank Jr. groaned, but upon the mention of their mother, they both began to head towards where Frank Sr. was grilling up burgers. 

“So you’re Y/N, huh?” Billy said, hoisting himself up to sit at the edge of the pool. “That’s my name,” you replied, not moving to follow the kids but the edge in your voice wasn’t exactly an invitation to talk. “Listen, I’m sorry about that,” he said, gesturing to the front of your dress which was wet because of his whole cannonball show. “Don’t worry about it,” you replied, your shoulders easing a bit, “The kids loved it.” “They do love a good show,” he added, winking at you. You couldn’t help but laugh, Maria had told you all about Frank’s buddy from the Marine Corps. “They love you. You could sit in a chair and they’d be amazed by you,” you replied, recalling stories Maria had told you over the last few months. 

The two of you had worked together briefly, but had kept in touch even after you had moved on to a different workplace. While you were unmarried and childless, the two of you found middle ground in other things. You had met Frank a few times when he had been back home, but most of your time with Maria was when he was away. 

As a result, you had only heard of Frank’s “brother,” Billy Russo but were meeting him for the first time today. And the first impression hadn’t exactly been spectacular. You were sure that Maria was especially pushing for the two of you to meet so that you could get over your last boyfriend. “He’s easy on the eyes,” she had said to you the other day as the two of you went down the aisles of the supermarket together, busy preparing for the upcoming barbecue. You rolled your eyes at her, saying something along the lines of not needing a man, but upon actually seeing Billy, you had to admit that Maria was right.

“Maria’s talked a lot about you,” Billy said, taking a seat next to you just as you bit into your burger. “Good things I hope,” you replied, giving him a small smile. Billy mirrored your movements, biting into his own burger as he carried on the conversation. “Great things actually,” he said, “It was sorta like she was working on a sales pitch.” You laughed, catching Maria’s eye from across the yard. She was among other friends, but you had caught her eye on you the few times you and Billy had been near each other that afternoon. She should consider getting a job as a CCTV camera, you thought to yourself.

“I’m gonna get a drink,” you said, standing up after the two of you made casual conversation while you ate, “Want anything?” “A beer sounds good,” Billy replied, taking your empty plate from you. You made your way towards Frank who was sipping a beer at the grill while Billy took care of the plates, greeting your friend’s husband warmly. 

“Hey Frank,” you called, giving him a small wave. “Hey you,” Frank replied affectionately. While the two of you weren’t especially close, Frank’s appreciation for you being there for his wife and kids went unsaid but was always clear. “Now, what kind of beer do Marines like?” you pondered as you opened the cooler to examine the contents. “If it’s for Billy,” Frank called, gesturing towards a smaller cooler stored near the grill, “Give him some of the good stuff.” 

You raised an eyebrow at Frank, eyeing the label of the bottle of what he was drinking. It certainly wasn’t the cheap stuff you and Maria had picked up the other day. “Remind me how to get on your good side, Frankie?” you joked, “I want an in on the good stuff.” Frank smiled in return, a rare sight, but you were sure the beer had something to do with it, “We don’t even get the bad stuff when we’re out there. I figured it’d be a treat for my brothers before we head out in a few weeks.” “Right,” you replied softly, grabbing a beer from Frank’s cooler and a wine cooler for yourself. Frank, and by default, Billy were scheduled to be deployed in a few weeks despite having just come back only about two month ago. 

You remember that Maria had been overjoyed the first couple days, especially when you had offered to stay with the kids at the house this weekend so that he and Maria could get away for a few days. Over time, you could sense that she felt that Frank’s upcoming deployment was looming over them. You could sense it when the two of you went shopping together, all you wanted to do was to make sure that the two of them had a good time during the time together that they had. “See ya Frank,” you replied, giving him a nod of acknowledgment as you made your way back to Billy.

“Ah,” Billy said as he examined the bottle you had just handed to him, “Old Frankie broke out the good stuff.” You laughed, cracking open your own drink and taking a long, cool sip. “Not a beer kinda girl?” he asked, taking a long sip of his own drink. You shook your head, “I’m down for a cold one, but I’m watching the kids tonight so I want to keep it light.” He nodded, turning his attention to the rest of the yard which was full of other friends of Frank and Maria’s. There were a few other guys Frank knew from his time over there, but it was mostly families that lived nearby or classmates and parents of Lisa and Frank Jr.’s. “Not a mingle kinda guy?” you asked after a few moments of silent people observing. Billy shook his head, and you couldn’t help but notice how dark his eyes were. 

It was summer, so the sunset was slow and orange, like a melting popsicle. The lights Maria had strung up in the backyard, along the fences and near the big pool Frank had bought for the kids to enjoy, were aglow and music was playing softly in the background of everyone’s conversations. In the midst of all this, you and Billy stood off to the side, taking up two chairs in one corner of the Castle’s yard. While Frank made rounds as people began to leave, he had handed Billy another beer, you turning down his offer as the two of you continued your conversation. You found out more about Billy from him, not from Maria this time. He was raised in the foster system up in Albany, and had snuck down to the city that you called home from time to time. You wondered if your paths had ever crossed unknowingly, but then you pushed that question from your mind as you remembered that you were here in this moment together.

The more he talked, the more ingrained you found yourself in his thoughts. All of the military people you knew were Marines through the Castles, and most were married with families. You were a rare friend of Maria’s, without a family of her own much less a spouse overseas, and Billy was a rare first for you. “Y/N?” you heard Maria call you, pulling you from the conversation between you and Billy. You looked up to see the backyard as packed up as it could be after the party today, and Frank and Maria standing at the back door.

“Maria!” you called, standing up suddenly and walking over to your friend, “I should’ve helped clean up, I’m so s-” Maria held her hand up, in that kind of way that made her kids immediately stop talking, so you knew better than to protest. “The Moms helped,” she explained, “Besides, I didn’t want to take you from Billy.” You opened your mouth again but she shook her head, smiling knowingly. “Take care brother,” Billy called from behind you. Frank nodded his head in acknowledgement, and somehow those gestures were enough to communicate for the two of them.

“The kids are inside watching TV,” Maria explained, “So feel free to stay, Billy.” “I’ll tuck ‘em in,” Billy replied nonchalantly, “Tell ‘em a bedtime story.” “Didn’t know you knew how to read,” you blurted jokingly. “Hey!” Billy said with a huff, playfully bumping his shoulder with yours. You didn’t know if Maria could smile any wider than she was now, but even Frank had a little twinkle in his eye. “Drive safe,” you called to the two of them as they waved their goodbyes before heading out towards the driveway. 

“You wanna head inside?” you called as Billy stuck his head through the door. “Nah,” he replied, gently closing just the screen door behind him. “They’re busy being enthralled by whatever Lisa’s into right now.” You laughed, sitting down in a patio door close enough to the door so that you’d hear if the kids called out for you. Billy took the seat next to you, opting to take a water bottle from the cooler instead of another beer.

“So, how does it feel being back?” you asked, your voice cutting through the now almost silent backyard. “Funny you ask,” he replied, “Most people asked me how it felt to be going back soon.” “I’m not sure they’d understand even if you answered,” you noted. “They can’t,” Billy said, his voice taking an edge you hadn’t heard before. “There’s nothing ever that can compare, there’s no way for anyone who hasn’t done it to understand,” he continued. You let out a small sigh, partially because you were unsure of how to reply. “But being back,” Billy said, clearing his throat, “It’s strange.” “Strange how?” you asked curiously. You knew bits about Frank’s experience when he came back, mostly through Maria, but Frank was never one to talk much, and especially not about something like this.

Billy turned to look at you, and under the soft lights of the backyard, you could see him really looking at you. You weren’t sure if he’d answer, the topic was a sensitive one even with Frank who you had known for a bit. “It’s like being underwater,” Billy said softly, “Like you dive into the water and nothing feels quite right. You can see, but not clearly. You can move, but it ain’t the same. And then you surface and it’s clear but there’s that moment where you have to get used to not being in the water anymore.” You nodded, understanding what he was saying despite not being able to relate. “I used to think that being deployed was like being thrown back into the water, but lately…” Billy trailed off. “Being back here is the diving pool now,” you finished, and he smiled, genuinely smiled for you. 

Neither of you spoke then and you swore Billy had leaned in, and you could feel yourself leaning in as well until you heard Lisa’s shrill voice through the door, “Aunt Y/N!” Both you and Billy pulled back, turning to find Lisa’s face peering through the door. “Were you two kissing?” she called, blinking as she eyed the two of you. “No, you pervert!” Billy retorted. “I’m sorry!” Lisa huffed, pulling the door open to stick her head outside, “Mom just said she can’t wait for the two of you to get married so I just thought you might be practicing.” “I’m going to kill your mother,” you replied, shooting Billy and apologetic look. 

“What do you need, kid?” Billy asked. “Well, Frank started this movie and it’s kind of scary… Can you stay with us while we watch?” Lisa asked. “Only if you don’t make fun of me for covering my eyes,” you said with a sigh, turning your gaze to Billy. “I’m gonna head home,” he said, his hand moving to your shoulder as he stood up. “Come soon!” Lisa called over her shoulder as she disappeared back into the house. 

“Are you sure?” you asked, standing up to walk him out. “I’ll give you some time to work up some points with the kids, I feel bad that they love their Uncle Billy more,” he said with a grin. You scoffed, shaking your head in disbelief as you moved to turn off the lights in the backyard.

You walked Billy through the house so that he could say good night to the kids, with promises that they’d be good for you and get a waffle breakfast in return for Sunday morning. He wrapped them both in a big bear hug, picking them up easily while joking around with them and you could see why they liked him so much. With the kids settled with popcorn while lying in wait for you to return, you assured them you’d be quick with seeing Billy out.

You walked him out through the front door, stepping out to the porch away from Maria’s little spy. “I’ll see you on Sunday then,” you said quietly, crossing your arms over as the summer breeze blew a bit of cool air towards you. “Sunday it is,” Billy agreed, his voice matching the softness in yours. “Good night, Billy,” you said, giving him a smile. Instead of returning the goodbye, Billy leaned down, his hand coming to hold your face softly as he kissed you. You leaned into the kiss, stepping towards him as he ran his thumb over your cheek. When he pulled back, you followed, your hand flat on his chest. “What are we doing, Billy?” you murmured, your head clearing enough to remember that he was about to be deployed in a few weeks. He smiled softly and shook his head, pressing a kiss to your cheek as he brought his lips close enough for you to hear his low voice, “Practicing.”

________________________________________________________________

so this part was obvs summer, and the next three will be based around billy and y/n’s continuing relationship in fall, winter, and spring. love your comments, so please leave me lots of love! updates to precedence will come soon!

[got-to-love-a-badboy]

Sinking part 3

Amy rolled over and hit the snooze button on her alarm, "ugh...NOT YET!" She shouted. After 5 minutes she got up out of bed and got in the shower, when she got out she decided to just let her hair dry on its own into beach waves, then she applied her everyday make up just enough to add abit of colour to her face.

She threw on some more of her yoga clothes and headed downstairs, she didn't start work until 11 today so she had an hour to chill, she was sat at the breakfast bar talking to her mom, she was asking how she's finding the job and if they are nice when the telephone rang, "il grab it" Amy said finishing her coffee and heading over to the phone.

“hello"

“hey Amy!"

“Hey Nancy! How are you?"

“I'm good thanks, are you working today? Me and Jonothan are going to the pool, we're gong to ask Jenny too" "Oh! Yeah I'm working, sorry Nance, but on my break I can come sit with you! Il bring a swimsuit "

“Yeah that would be fun! Anyway see you around lunch time!"

“Look forward to it bye!".

Amy hung up the phone and went back to the kitchen, "Nancy is finally making an effort to spend time with us! She's bringing Jonathan but hey will just be nice to see her" she told her mom, "I know how you feel honey but you will understand when you fall in love you won't want to be apart from them, it's like magic, you get butterfly's in your stomach when you see them!", Her mom told her but Amy just rolled her eyes, "gotta find somebody first mom, anyway I have to go grab a swimsuit!".

She headed back up stairs, she picked out an all white bikini and a towel, throwing them in her bag she shouted "see you tonight", as she ran downstairs out of the door and into her car. When she pulled up in the parking lot the first thing she saw was the familiar blue Camaro, she parked up and rolled her eyes, "I got this, I got this" she told herself before taking a deep breath in and out. She was still abit early so she went into the break room to see if anyone was there, but it was empty, she just sat down at the table and looked at the magazines on the table, she was interrupted when she heard "hey girl!" When she looked around she saw Heather walking in, "hey Heather! You ok" she asked, putting the magazine back, Heather came and sat beside her "yeah I'm good just finishing my shift, 10 minutes late, Billy only just got here" she said rolling her eyes, "he's always late, I mean he's cute and all but I have a life you know!" They both laughed, "have you met Billy yet? He probably won't introduced himself, he keeps to himself unless he wants something from you" Heather said before getting up to make a drink, "um yeah, we actually went to high school together, I didn't really speak to him in school but he spoke to me yesterday" Heathers head spinning around when Amy said that, "REALLY! What did he say?" Amy could tell she was one of the girls that threw theirselves at Billy just like in highschool, she wasn't going to send her in to a frenzy, so she lied "nothing much, John asked him to help me empty out the pool house, he was just basically telling me to not get the heavy stuff and asked why I was using the pool house" Heather was shaking her head "wow! Billy making small talk, he totally wants you, I mean look at the yoga costume who wouldn't" she smiled at Amy, "anyway I best be going my moms taking me to lunch" she said as she grabbed her bag from the chair, "see you around".

Amy put her head on the table and let out a deep sigh before getting up and going into the locker room, she put her bag in her locker and walked out to the pool, she glanced around looking for her friends but they weren't there yet, so she went to the pool house to set up. Once she had finished she stepped outside and as she walked by the sun beds she asked people if they wanted to join in with the yoga, not many people did, until she saw a group of moms, she recognise one as Nancy's mom, it would mean she had to walk past the lifeguard tower where Billy was sat, Amy thought about it for a minute and realised she was been dramatic, she started walking over to the women "hey!...Amy right?" She knew the voice so she looked up at Billy who took off he's sunglasses and put then the end of the arm in between he's teeth, "um yep that's me" she said smiling up at him, he began walking down from the tower, when he got in front of her he licked he's bottom lip and said "so I was thinking I could take you out after we finish here?" Amy was completely shocked "Really! ...Me, this is the most we've spoken in the 2 years you have been here" Billy gave Amy a deep chuckle, "I know, you just seem different and I want to get to know you" he said stepping closer to her rubbing he's fingers over the top of her arm, "come on ...I promise you won't regret it, if you don't enjoy yourself I won't bother you again" Amy thought for a second "ok then, but you should know I'm not like the Hawkins whores" Billy let out a hearty laugh "duly noted Princess" Amy couldn't deny the butterflies in her stomach, "ok good, I should go, see you later Billy" she turned to walk off and felt him grab her hand softly, "see you soon Amy" he let go and climbed back up the ladder.

Amy made it over to the group of moms "hello ladies! How do you feel about some yoga this afternoon?", Mrs wheeler was the only to answer answer, "if it gets him to look at us like he does you then were in!" All the ladies hummed in agreement, "I'm sorry?" Amy was confused, one of the other ladies nodded towards Billy, "the lifeguard, Billy, he doesn't look at anyone here, you think he would with all the girls in bikinis but nothing, that is until you started here" Amy didn't know what to say or where to look, "oh um ok then" she stood up and looked back at the ladies "it starts in 10 minutes girls" the women began packing their things up and followed Amy to the pool house. She noticed Billy wink at her on the way past she just smiled and bit her bottom lip. After what felt like the longest afternoon ever people finally began to leave the pool at around 6pm, Amy started waking to the locker rooms to get showered and changed.

She turned around when she heard someone behind her calling her name "Amy .... wait up!" She turned around to see Billy, "oh hey Billy" she said moving the hair from her face, "meet at my car when your ready, we can come back for your car after yeah?"Amy just kept walking and said "yeah sure", when they reached the locker room Billy grabbed her hand and said "hey, don't be so shy, I mean it if you don't enjoy yourself we act like nothing happened ok?" Amy smiled at him and he smiled back "thank you Billy" he nodded and they went in to their own locker rooms.

Billy's POV

I'm stood at the side of my Camaro waiting for Amy to finish showering and getting ready, When she walked out she looked stunning with her little denim skirt on, I can't get over how good she looks!, I smiled at her as she walked across the car park, "you look beautiful" I said when she was in front of me, "oh thank you" she blushed, "it's just the spare clothes I had in my locker, I couldn't go in my yoga clothes" she laughed, "god no, some guy would try steal you from me if you walked around like that" I said walking round to the drivers side, Amy shook her head and smiled as she got in "So where are we going" she said while doing her seatbelt, I began to reverse out of the parking lot, "I thought we could go for food? I know an nice place" She smiled at me again, "why you smiling?" I asked, She looked down then out of the window "it's just nice, I don't do dates" I could tell she was embarrassed, "why not?" I asked expecting her to say all guys are asses or something funny, "iv never been asked" she said looking at me biting the side of her mouth, "WHAT! You got to be kidding me, never?.... maybe it's because you were so quiet in school and didn't throw yourself at guys like the rest of the high school girls" she just nodded and said "maybe" she said.

Amy seems different to the usual Hawkins girls, shes pretty and she's smart, I know she did well in school, unlike me. I took this job because I had no choice but god only knows why she wants to come here every morning. We talk and find out bits about eachother as I drive to the diner. When we get there we walk inside and I put my hand on her lower back to guide her in, she looked back at me smiled as her cheeks began to go red, she sits in a booth and I slide in beside her, we take out the menus and decide what we are having, when the waitress comes over she is chewing her pen and looking at me, "what can I get you handsome?" I tell her that I will have a cheese burger, fries and a large cola, then I look over at Amy for her order "il have the same please" she didn't get a reply so I look at the waitress again who is still staring at me, "excuse me! the lady gave you her order!" I snap at the waitress who looks at Amy "I'm so sorry could you repeat that please?" She asks her, Amy tells her again then looks at the floor as the waitress walked off, I took Amy's hand and she looked into my eyes "typical Hawkins girl huh" I said and we both laughed, I took her hand and said "your really are beautiful Amy, and your work uniform is just an added bonus" biting my bottom lip "thank you Billy" she said as she laughed playing with my fingers, “I know you know don't normal do 'dates' and everything so thank you, Im really enjoying been with you Billy, and like I said before I'm not the like the girls you usually meet, if you don't like it that's fine we can leave now" she said rather nervous but also to the point, "what? No I'm enjoying myself too Amy, I mean I'm not going to lie to you iv had most of the girls in Hawkins but they are all the same, unlike you, your smart, you aren't throwing yourself at me and plus you're sexy as fuck, but you don't flaunt it like the girls around here. I admire that about you".

Amy smiled and covered her eyes with her free hand in embarrassment, she quickly moved it "they really do! They don't think twice about their actions and there's me who's never kissed a guy!" Once she realised what she said she let go of my hand and buried her face in to her hands as she muttered "shit" I have to admit I was shocked, kind of scared, could I Billy Hargrove like someone who was as delicate as this, would I break her?. I used my finger to lift her chin "hey it's ok don't even worry about it, take things at your pace, when your happy maybe I can be your first kiss" I said looking into her eyes. What am I saying this isn't me!, I thought to myself. "Ok! we have two cheese burger fries and colas! Enjoy guys" an older waitress said as she handed our food to us, "looks like your friend bailed on you Billy" Amy said joking, I laughed "oh well good job I have first prize right here huh" she smiled again shaking her head. We ate our meal and laughed and joked all night it was 11pm, we decided to head back to the pool so Amy could collect her car, we talked all the way back to the pool, Amy is so cute and funny, she really doesn't see how nice she is.

When we got to the pool I got out of the car and went round to Amy's side, she got out of the car carefully closing the door "thank you so much for an amazing night Billy I really enjoyed it." She said to me, I move closer to her, "I enjoyed it too, your really cool I feel stupid for not talking to you sooner instead of the other girls" I think she could tell I was getting annoyed with myself because she said "hey I enjoyed it that much I may even let you take me out again" we both smiled and gave each other a long hug, "il see you tomorrow Billy" she said as she turned to walk away, I stood up and held her hand and kissed the top of it, "looking forward to it already" she smiled and walked off causing our hands to separate.

I sat in my car for 5 minutes trying to get my head around what tonight was and how I felt, I'm Billy Hargrove I don't "like" girls! I play girls like a game, I get what I want and leave, always have but something is telling me Amy is different I mean it would be an achievement to get my way with her but it didn't feel right.

[letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked]

Words On My Skin Part 16

Bucky Barnes x Reader (Soulmate AU)

A/N: Sorry this took so long! If you guys read my updates, you would have seen that my WIFI has been down for most of the week! Honestly, Century Link can just… burn in hell... They came today to ‘fix’ stuff, and NOPE! Not fixed. Using my mobile hotspot to post, and it’s slow af!

*This part is a filler, but has important information!*

Warnings: Bucky holding a baby... *heart eyes*

Main Masterlist // WOMS Masterlist

 “Alright, kid. Work with me, here.” You huffed out, for the third time, trying to wrangle the squirming baby – Farida’s son, Ilyas – into a good position to burp him. The burp cloth covered the whole left side of your shirt and shoulder, since you’d made the rookie mistake of not wearing it, once before. “You’re going to start getting pretty pissed off, if that burp doesn’t come out, soon.”

The little guy squirmed in response, a little whine squeaking out as he tried to burrow is face into the burp cloth.

You were tasked with the job of babysitting Ilyas, while Farida and her husband went to some work party on the Upper East Side, since Farida had texted you – freaking out that the party was last-minute, and they didn’t have anyone to watch him. She’d begged you to babysit, remembering how good you were with children when you’d met her family back in college, and you’d agreed with the condition that it was in the compound – since you were still technically working, and had mountains of paperwork to do.

She’d been so thankful that she’d brought you a succulent to put on your desk – the cactus with the red ball on top that you had to Google how to take care of – and a giant container of her mom’s recipe of a fish curry. She’d even gone as far as wearing the silky, floral scarf you’d sent her from when you’d shopped with Wanda at some name brand store – claiming it was so nice, she was going to wear it with her black dress to the work party.

“Knock, knock.” You heard from the doorway, just as Ilyas let out a large belch from your consistent patting on his back.

Perfect timing!

Glancing up, you grinned at Bucky – who was coming in with a large bag of take-out and a drink tray, “You’re my savior, right now. I’m starving.”

He startled, glancing down at the little boy who was currently spitting up on the burp rag placed over your chest. You picked a bad day to wear a white blouse. “Who’s this?”

“Farida’s son, Ilyas.” You laughed, wiping the baby’s mouth and turning him around so he could stare at Bucky and bang his slobbery hands on your desk. “She asked me to watch him while her and her husband go to some party for his work, or something. You missed Claire, by the way. Caleb brought her in and she played with the baby, while I finished typing up some forms for the new recruits.”

“Thank god I missed the two of you, together.” He snorted, plopping down in the chair and unpacking the food. “Last time, you both ganged up on me and stuck a bunch of magnets on my arm.” He passed you your container of French fries, stealing one from the open container and popping it in his mouth as he opened more containers. When he was done chewing, he continued, “Also, I had to take a dish scrubber to my hand, because the slime you guys were making got stuck between the plates of my fingers.”

“Poor you.” You giggled, shifting the food away from Ilyas’s reach, and opening the container that housed your sandwich. “You had fun, don’t even whine.”

“Maybe so,” He pointed his fork at you, leaning back in the chair and running his free hand through his tangled hair, “but you and Claire like to scheme when you’re together. It’s dangerous.”

You rolled your eyes, remembering when you and Claire kept sneaking up on Bucky – who probably knew exactly what you were up to, due to his insane hearing – and sticking magnets on him. Until, finally, he’d just grumbled and stuck out his arm for you and Claire to mess around with. Claire had a lot of questions, while playing with some letter magnets and spelling out names.

Anyways, he’d gotten you back on the mats, later…

Okay, that sounds dirty.

He made you do a lot of cardio.

…Still sounds dirty.

Jesus Christ.

“You’re good with him.” Bucky commented, staring at you while you shifted Ilyas around and brushed your hands over his dark hair, “I’ve never seen you with any other children but Claire… When did you become the baby whisperer?”

“I’m not sure that I am.” You smiled, while the baby played with the buttons on your shirt and laid his head on your chest, chewing on his tongue. “I babysat a couple times when I was in middle school and high school… but that was only for my friend’s little sister, when I wasn’t working at the coffee shop.”

“How’d you work at the coffee shop without your mom findin’ out?”

“I was supposed to be making the money by tutoring, but I worked a few towns away, instead.” You nabbed a fry from the container, taking a small bite. It had been a really small coffee shop, one that made specialty drinks but wasn’t popular enough to draw the attention of your parents. There was a slight suspicion that your father knew you were working, having seen your apron in your car once, but he never said a word. Your mother was the one who would’ve had a cow, anyways… and that she did. “I worked on the weekends, early in the morning. I left before my parents were awake and stashed my money in a safe in my closet. Our housekeeper was the only one who knew that I had a stash of money, but she never said anything. She covered for me, a lot… Until my mom found out I was working and forced me to quit.”

“You had a housekeeper?” He asked in surprise, eyebrows almost shooting up to his dark hairline. His dark hair was brushing into his face, which blocked the view a bit. “How big was the house?”

“My parents are pretty loaded.” You shrugged, the usual feeling of disdain in your chest. “They’re the stereotypical rich type. We had hired help, my parents travelled a lot, and we were part of country clubs… all that.” You grabbed your water, taking a sip and pushing back all the memories of forced tutors, forced dates, forced friendships, and diets. “I hated it. Everyone was so… awful.”

“What about other family?” He handed stole another fry from your container, replacing it with the pickles from his burger. “You don’t talk about them much.”

“My grandparents are kind of spread out around the world. I’ve never actually met them.” Ilyas shifted in your arms, pressing his cheek against your chest as his eyes started to droop heavily. “My mom’s parents lived in London for a long time, but I’m not sure where they are, now. I haven’t heard from them in years. I think they’re divorced, now.” You furrowed your brows, trying to remember where your mom’s sister lived. “I think my aunt lives in Paris, or something… I don’t know.”

“What about your dad’s side?”

“My dad was born in South Africa, actually.” You smiled, remembering the story that your dad used to tell you, back in the day. “His parents loved to travel the world, but when my grandma got pregnant, they slowed down for a while. They ended up in an accident, and my dad was born in… I can’t remember where… Close to the coast, I think.” God, it had been so long since you’d heard the story. “The accident was pretty bad, but one of the doctors saved my grandmother and my dad. They named my dad after him. Bokamoso. His friends call him ‘Bo’, though.” You rolled your eyes. “Apparently, they think his name is ‘too hard to pronounce’… which is completely stupid. I like the name.”

“When did they move to America?”

“My dad’s lived in America since he was young, but my mom didn’t move here until college. It’s where they met.”

That one took some prying, because they – surprisingly – met at a giant, booze-fest party. Your mother refused to tell you the story, deeming it inappropriate for her child to know, but your father told you the story – once you got a few beers him.

They’d gotten hammered, rolled around in a ditch for a few hours, and started dating by the next week.

You chose to forget the gory details that you’d received with your father’s colorful storytelling.

“We lived in California after I started middle school, because my mom wanted me to get a decent education and not fall behind from moving, like she almost did.” You finished your last french-fry, moving on to the pickles that Bucky had given you off his burger. “They continued to travel, but I was left home with the nanny.”

“If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?” He suddenly asked, cleaning up some of the mess on your desk with a small smirk lifting his cheeks.

“I don’t… I don’t really know…” With a frown, you handed him your empty container that used to contain your sandwich, dinking some more water before continuing, “I think I’d like to see where my parents are from… Or, maybe, see what Rome looks like.”

“Why Rome?”

“The history is interesting.” Gently, you moved the baby into his car seat, placing his soft blanket over his sleeping body as he twitched once – giving you a mild heart-attack – and fell back into his deep slumber. “What about you? Where would you go?”

“Wakanda.” He grinned, playing with the plates on his vibranium fingers as he talked, “I know I’ve already been there, but I only got to be there for a year or two… I miss it. There’s a lot of cool things to learn. The people in Wakanda were the first people to treat me like ‘Bucky Barnes’, instead of ‘The Winter Soldier’. Especially after I got my trigger words removed.”

“Shuri is the one who did that, right?” The kid who sends him all the memes and funny videos. “She removed them?”

He nodded, glancing up with a large grin. God, he had such a cute smile… “She also made the arm your so obsessed with.”

He had a point. You were kind of obsessed.

“I happen to think it’s awesome. Who doesn’t want a soulmate with a vibranium arm to stick magnets on?” You teased, stacking your paperwork into little ‘done’ and ‘not done’ piles. “Regular arms are boring.”

Glancing down at his phone with a snort, he pulled something up on his phone and showed it to you. It was the ‘notes’ in his phone, with little random reminders and memories saved in them. “I don’t remember much of my own past, but I did remember something that I’ve been thinking about since I saw you holding Ilyas.”

“You don’t have a love-child out there, do you?” You snorted, tone joking. “I heard about your wild times in the thirties and forties. You got all the ladies.”

“If there are, I don’t know about them.” He rolled his eyes, shoving the phone back in his sweatshirt pocket with a small smile. “Anyways, I still have a lot of missing pieces, but there was a random memory that came back when I was in Wakanda. I saw a woman feeding her baby, and it reminded me of when our neighbor had a little one. My sister, Rebecca, used to babysit for the neighbor and bring the baby back into our apartment. I think I helped a few times, but I was more concerned about going out with my friends and datin’ pretty dames.”

“Too bad for all the ladies in this century.” You leaned forward, snatching Bucky’s to-go cup full of pop and taking a sip of the carbonated, sugary, delicious liquid. God, how long has it been since you’ve indulged in sugary drinks? Yesterday, Y/n. Yesterday. Calm down. “You’re taken.”

“That I am.” He raised an eyebrow at you, unamused at the theft. “I was going to drink that, you know.”

“Mine, now.” You grinned, holding the pop close to your chest so he couldn’t steal it back. “Sucks to suck.”

“So, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something.” His face switched into a neutral look, not betraying any emotion – though, his anxiety spiked slightly through the bond. “We kind of talked a little about it, but… what… What did you and Natasha exactly talk about, the other day? Is she going to be nicer to you?”

Oh… Ugh.

Did you really need to dive back into this topic?

“Yeah… She, uh, she said that she was jealous.” There was a faint twitch in his eyebrow at your words, but his face remained neutral, so you continued, “She told me that you were sleeping together before we got together, but you ended it.” You took another sip of the bubbly liquid, wishing that the cold coke would wash down the awkward feeling in your chest. A lump was starting to form, and images of the two of them together were starting to flash in the back of your mind, but you forced yourself not to react. You were going to be mature about this. You were going to act like the adult that you were, and not freak out. It was before you. “She said that she really liked you and she was jealous, that’s why she was a little… standoffish.”

“A little?” He snorted, lips lifting slightly. His eyes still held no emotion, but you didn’t need to look at him to know how he was feeling. You could feel it, yourself. Anxiety, mixed with a slight anger, and a dash of annoyance. “So… We never really talked about how you took the news. We kinda’ brushed over it.”

“What do you want me to say?” You leaned back in your chair, inhaling through your nose and closing your eyes for a moment, wishing that this moment would end. “I wish that it had been you who told me… though, I understand why you didn’t. It’s really none of my business, anyways. I just… didn’t like hearing it from her.”

“I didn’t want to tell you, because… well… I didn’t know how to bring it up, first of all.” You saw his adam’s apple bob when you finally lifted your lids to look at him. He was starting to trace the plates along his palm, again, which he did when he was nervous. “I didn’t think it was something you’d want to know.”

“It’s really not. That’s why I understand you not telling me.” Glancing down at your cellphone, you realized how late it was starting to get. The lights on that side of the compound were bright enough that you wouldn’t have even noticed through your office window that the sun had already set. “I just… I didn’t like hearing it come from her mouth. Especially the way she said it.”

His body went ridged, “How did she say it?”

“I’d rather not-”

“How did she say it?” He repeated, eyes tightening in anger. His voice didn’t raise in volume, but the annoyance he was feeling bled into his tone – which felt just like yelling. “Was she rude about it? Do I need to talk to her about it? What’d she say?”

“Bucky. Calm down, okay?” You snapped, crossing your arms and looking away, refusing to make eye contact. “It was as if she was trying to pick a fight, but I didn’t fight with her. It wasn’t anything bad. It’s over, and we’re fine. I’d rather drop it, please.”

The room was quiet for a few moments, the only sounds being your breathing and Ilyas’s quiet snores from his car seat. You could faintly hear footsteps from outside your office, and the quiet chatter of agents walking down the hallway, but the room was awkwardly silent.

Which you were awful at handling awkward silences.

You squirmed in your seat, fingers tracing along the hemline of your pencil skirt and glancing down at your freshly painted toes, which were visible since you’d taken your heels off hours ago.

God, someone say something!

Thankfully, you didn’t have to wait long, because he exploded.

“I just don’t get it!” He sprung up from his chair, and you flinched – though he didn’t notice, because he was too busy pacing the length of your office, from one side to the other. “Why the hell does she pick now to talk to you about it? Why the hell didn’t she talk about this months ago?” He stopped, throwing his hands up in frustration. “She still won’t even talk to me unless it’s work related. We used to be friends!”

Ah. So that’s what this was about.

You raised an eyebrow, not moving from your position in your chair, but glancing over at the sleeping baby, praying that he didn’t startle awake at Bucky’s little drama-show.

He continued to rant, frustration ebbing into your chest from the bond, and bleeding into your own feelings – but you didn’t say a word. You just watched him, eyes moving back and forth as he paced like a caged lion, anger coming off him in waves. You were listening to him, and you understood his frustration… but it was a little awkward, you had to admit.

“Are you done?” You finally spoke, as he halted his pacing, opting to cross his arms and stand by your window, watching agents bustle around the grounds like he was judging each and every person down there. “Bucky?”

His shoulders sagged, but he continued to stare out the window. “I just… Since I’ve gotten parts of myself back, I’ve realized just how few friends I really have. I lost most of them to the war, and old age.” A pang of sadness – from your end of the bond and his – tightened in your chest. “There are so few people in my life that I care about, and I don’t want to lose anyone in my new life. I already lost too many people I care about.”

“…and you don’t want to lose Natasha, too?” You supplied, voice quiet and calming, though you were entirely heartbroken for your soulmate. You stood, coming up behind him and wrapping your arms around his middle, resting your forehead on his back. His arms moved so he could rest them along yours, and you felt his breathing begin to even out. You waited until he was fully calm to continue, “I’m sorry.”

A breathy chuckle escaped his lips, and you felt the muscles in his abdomen clench with each little chuckle. “Why the hell are you apologizing, sweetheart?”

“I just… I don’t like that you’ve lost so much.” You sighed, snuggling into the warmth of his back and twisting your hand so you could entwine your fingers. “Breaks my heart.”

He pulled you around, so you were snuggled into his chest instead; and he could wrap his arms around you, tightly. You shifted your arms, wrapping them around his neck and tightly pulling him close. You wanted to wrap him in your arms forever, until all negative feelings in that man were gone. He didn’t deserve it. He’d had nothing but loss since HYDRA. Too long had HYDRA stripped him of his life, his body, and mind. He deserved so much better.

You breathed in his smell, warmth chasing away all the negativity in the bond, leaving you calm and content with staying in his arms for the rest of your life. You listened to his heartbeat slow to a regular pace, his breathing back to normal. You felt the warmth of his breath on the crown of your head, as his face pressed into your hair, breathing you in just as much as you were breathing him in.

“You make it better.” He finally murmured, his voice vibrating through his chest, and the side of your face tingled. “You make me better.”

You hummed, pulling back slightly when you heard a small whine coming from the car seat. Baby’s awake. You shifted so your hands were cupping his face, fingertips lightly pressed against his bearded jaw as you looked up into his ice-blue eyes, which gleamed with adoration. “You should talk to Natasha, okay? Tell her that you don’t want to lose her friendship.”

He closed his eyes for a moment, leaning into your touch as the baby’s whines morphed into shrill cries. “Okay… I will.”

“Good.” You smiled, sliding your hands down to his chest, before detangling yourself to pick up the angry child. Spotting the next day’s itinerary, you cursed under your breath. “Oh, I forgot. You have a haircut, tomorrow morning. The whole team have hair appointments, before the show.”

“Do I have to do another stupid interview?” Bucky grumbled, moving back to his chair as you grabbed a bottle from the little cooler to heat up in the hot water of your sink. He held out his arms, taking the pissed off baby while you scurried to warm the bottle quickly. “The last thing I want to do is another one of those shows where they sit you in a chair, in front of an audience, and ask you a million personal questions.” He shifted the baby into the crook of his flesh arm, trying not to use his metal arm; though, that was all the baby was concerned with, once he noticed it. “Makes me feel like I’m back in Dr. Collins’s office. I hate it.”

“Well, everyone’s doing it.” You replied, exiting the bathroom with a bowl of hot water from the sink, and sticking the capped bottle in the bowl to heat it up. “You have more fans, than haters, anyways.”

“No, I don’t.” He scoffed, rolling his eyes as he gave in and let Ilyas play with his hand, careful that the baby didn’t try to stick Bucky’s metal fingers in his mouth. Wow, he looked damn good holding a baby. Shut up, hormones. “I’m pretty sure that the majority still think I’m a terrorist.”

“You’ve proven that you’re willing to get better.” You insisted, finishing organizing your papers, before nabbing your phone and quickly snapping a photo of Bucky before he could protest. You had to document the first time you’ve ever seen the man holding a baby. It was hot. “Anyways, have you looked at social media? I don’t see as many trolls on your posts, anymore. If anything, it’s a bunch of horny people wondering what else you can do with that metal arm.”

His eyes widened, choking a little as his cheeks tinging red in embarrassment. He looked absolutely horrified. “What?”

“Oh, my god.” You laughed loudly, shaking your head as you grabbed the bottle from the bowl and passed it to Bucky, “You need to read the comments, more. They’re hilarious.”

“You read the comments?” He grimaced, adjusting the baby so he could feed him. He glanced at his phone like it was diseased, “Are they on the pictures of you and I, too?”

“Unfortunately.” You rolled your eyes, grabbing your phone off the desk and scrolling through some of the pictures on your profile. You hadn’t had many photos before your time at the compound, but there were a couple new ones. Mostly of Bucky, Wanda, or food. There was one that Tony had taken of himself when you’d left your phone unattended, with the caption ‘#blessed to be hacked by Iron Man, himself. -TS’. “Honestly, I think people mostly follow my social media to catch a glimpse of you or the team… Though, I don’t really post much else. Maybe some food pictures.”

“Mine’s not much different.” He stood, passing you the baby and setting the empty bottle on the desk. “Are you done with your work?”

“Why? What do you have in mind?” You raised an eyebrow, grabbing the rag to quickly burp the baby before you left your office. “Can I wear sweatpants?”

“Netflix marathon, sweat pants, and popcorn?”

“I’m in.”

Part 17

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Forever tags are open, but WOMS tags are closed!

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[luckyspike]

Adventures in America, Ch. 9 - Jackson County, Missouri

In which we learn about Rachael and Noel

Adam and Lucky bond over mutual interests that aren’t weather

And Aziraphale and Crowley share a soft moment at the edge of a corn field

Read the previous chapters here (not on AO3 yet!): ch 1 | ch 2 | ch 3 | ch 4 | ch 5 | ch 6 | ch 7 | ch 8

or just check out my fanfiction tag

-

The next day brought a trip to the great state of Missouri, and more tornadoes. Bigger, this time, longer-lived. Adam and Lucky watched with great enthusiasm as the powerlines flashed when the tornado tore through them, and then with dread as they watched the biggest tornado of the day lift a barn entirely up off the ground and hurl it, in pieces, hundreds of yards to either side. When the danger had passed, Rachael drove the truck toward the property, the students taking in the destruction as they drove past the bits of barn on the way up the farm road. Noel and Rachael led the way to the farmhouse, where they knocked on the door and checked on the homeowner and were assured that it was just hay in the barn, thanks for checking but we’re fine, appreciate the stop. 

“It should be a compulsory part of storm chasing,” Noel told the boys solemnly as they piled back into the truck. “Lots of chasers do it, and that’s great, but I’ve seen vans and trucks blow past a trashed building just to keep following the storm.” He shook his head. “No excuse for that, not really.”

There wasn’t as much lightning with that system, so Rachael didn’t bother throwing the probes out. After they checked on the farm house, they drove after the storm for a little while longer, but it fell apart near the capitol, and they called it a night. Noel was driving by then, and when the group decided a diner sounded just perfect for a quick bite before bed, he somehow managed to navigate to a greasy spoon on the side of the road that promised some of the best burgers in the midwest. Adam wasn’t typically a fan of burgers, but when faced with a claim like that, he felt it was fairly mandatory to at least give them a try.

They chatted idly about the storms of the day while the waited, Adam nursing a Pepsi and Lucky working on a black-and-white milkshake. “So what are we thinking about tomorrow?” Noel asked, over the rim of his coffee cup.

Rachael had the laptop out, and she didn’t look particularly happy. “Not … not looking good. Not for the next few days, as much as I can estimate.” She sighed. “I can look again in the morning, for sure, but if there’s anything, it’s going to be little, and it’ll be all the way up in South Dakota, probably.”

Noel winced. “Worth the drive?”

“Well … I mean, I’ll check tomorrow, but if you want my money on it … no. Sorry. There’s a few little system set-ups in the works, but nothing I can forsee producing anything worthwhile. Probably a bust day.”

Lucky and Adam exchanged a look. “So what do we do on bust days?” Adam asked, over the slurping of the milkshake. Although this was supposed to be an educational trip, he was sort of desperately hoping the answer wasn’t going to be studying. Certainly, if he was in America, there would be something to do besides sit around and study.

“Well, Noel has some textbooks in the truck that you two can share, and -” Rachael caught their expressions and stopped to laugh. “Nah, just kidding. I mean, you can if you want to, but doesn’t sound very fun, does it?” They shook their heads slowly. “Noel and I have a lot of photos and video to edit, so we’re gonna be pretty tied up with that most of the day, but since we won’t be traveling anywhere, might make sense for us to head back to Kansas City tonight and stay there, and you guys can explore around tomorrow if you want. There’s museums and stuff there, and it’s not even a two-hour drive, so not too bad to head to tonight.”

Lucky nodded. “Kansas City’s good with me. I’ve never been there.”

“I have once,” Adam said, as the waitress set his food down in front of him. Regardless of the quality of the burger, it was certainly one of the biggest burgers he’d ever seen. Next to him, Lucky made a confused noise that reminded him, a little, of Crowley, and made something that felt a little like homesickness twist in his gut, although that might have just been hunger at the sight of the burger and fries. “Nah, just kidding.” He picked up a fry and smirked at the other boy. “I’m game though.”

“I was so confused for a minute.” The waitress set down Lucky’s meal: an enormous plate of fried chicken. “Oh man, oh yes.”

“You really gonna eat all that?”

“Or die trying.”

Noel sighed wistfully. “I wish I could still eat like that without needing a handful of antacids afterwards.” He’d ordered a BLT for himself, and Rachael had chosen a tuna melt.

“You can have a piece if you want?” Lucky pushed the drumstick close to Noel, who shook his head. “Sure?”

“Enjoy it for me. Much as I’d like it, I’d prefer to sleep tonight.”

They ate in silence for a while. Adam considered his burger. It was certainly good, but was it one of the best? He chewed each bite thoughtfully, and tried to balance the juiciness of the meat with the sharpness of the cheese and the varied tastes - sweet, acid, umami - of the condiments. About a quarter of the way through, he settled on the conclusion that it maybe wasn’t the best he’d ever had, but it certainly was in the top five. He set it down to take a photo of it for the group, which he would include with the tornado pictures when he sent them later.

“You guys still have to show me your pictures,” Rachael said, the sight of Adam’s phone jogging her memory. “Lucky, you took a million yesterday and today - I heard your camera. Any favorites?”

“Yeah.” He swallowed his mouthful of chicken. “I’ll show you when I’m not greasy.”

“Deal.” She cocked her head, a loose lock of dark hair falling across her nose. She blew it out of the way. “How about you, Adam?”

He thought about all the photos and videos he’d taken, and considered. “I think some are pretty good,” he concluded. “My friends back home loved some of the ones from yesterday, but I think that was more because of the tornado and not as much the quality of the photography. I’ll show you when I’m done.”

“That’s fair.” She nudged Noel. “I know you have some great pictures, I heard your camera going off all day like it was going out of style.”

Noel replied, and Adam ate quietly as they bantered back and forth. He grinned a little too, around bites of burger, because for two research partners, Noel and Rachael were really very funny together. He wondered if they were more than research partners, but neither had ever said, and while he wouldn’t have thought twice about asking when he was eleven, at eighteen he liked to think he had picked up enough social graces through the years to know better than to come out with a question like that*. Besides, neither wore a ring, and neither had made any kind of overt romantic gesture toward the other, which led Adam to believe that if they were more than research partners, they probably didn’t like to discuss it with customers. 

[*And if anything, Aziraphale and Crowley’s relationship had taught him that an obvious friendship and incredible chemistry didn’t always infer a relationship that any involved parties would be willing to talk about for any length of time without blushing, or turning into a gigantic serpent and escaping through a window. Although Adam also knew the latter was significantly less likely within the general population.]

“So where are you guys from?” Lucky asked, and Adam startled out of his reverie. “I mean, I read your bios online, but like - Noel, you’re from around this part of the country, aren’t you?”

“Not quite - I’m from Montana.” Noel’s expression changed when he mentioned that state, settled into something calm and peaceful. “Big Sky country. Not too many tornadoes up that way, though, but the winter storms can be something up in the mountains. That’s home base for me, when it’s not chasing season.”

“So you like snow and stuff?”

“Oh, yeah! Cross-country skiing, trapping, fishing.” He laughed. “Growing up out there, just me and my mom, it was a little wild. She’s kind of a frontier-woman type, so we grew or hunted a lot of our own food.” He shrugged. “Not that I don’t love it, obviously, nothing better than being out in nature if you ask me, but I do like being able to run to the store when I’m out of peanut butter. College domesticated me, I guess.”

“Education’ll do that,” Rachael agreed, laughing. “One minute you’re Grizzly Adams, the next you’re eating Top Ramen and yelling at the weather channel in an air-conditioned dorm because it’s kind of hot outside.”

Noel acted affronted at that. “My dorm didn’t have air conditioning, excuse you.”

“Oh, so sorry, my mistake.” Lucky and Adam were laughing, which Adam rather suspected was the intended outcome of the little show the two scientists were putting on. “Was it actually a constructed building or did you fashion your own dorm out of hewn logs?”

Noel shook his head. “They wouldn’t let me build a log cabin on campus, can you believe?” He nodded her way. “Anyway, that’s me, what about you? Where you from? The public wants to know.”

“Florida.” Rachael sighed. “Sorry to say, I am Florida Woman.” Lucky and Adam laughed again. “Fighting alligators, selling fake Superbowl tickets, finding manatees in the swimming pool … Yes, all my doing.”

Lucky looked somewhat worried, and Adam paused. “Wait, really?”

“No.” She scoffed. “Well, okay, one time a manatee did get into our pool, but that was one time. During a hurricane.” She waved a hand. “Storm surge, you know how it is. Anyway, I did not grow up on the wild plains of America - I grew up like a normal American kid in a kind-of-nice trailer park on the Gulf coast, and was already completely civilized by the time I arrived at college.”

Adam nodded. “Did you guys meet in college, or … ?” he trailed off, letting the question hang. Rachael’s mouth dropped open.

“Adam, how old do you think I am?”

Adam winced. “Sorry, I just -” but she was laughing anyway, and he relaxed and broke into a grin. “Sorry.”

“Kidding, kidding. No, we didn’t meet in college. Well,” she amended, “I was in college. He was working for OSU at the time, I think?” Noel nodded in confirmation. “Anyway, I was working with OSU’s lightning research team and he was helping with the mesonet, so that’s where we met. Then a few years later, when I was looking to do more lightning research for my PhD, he had started storm chasing, and he actually hired me on.” She shrugged. “Free research opportunities for me, and another driver for him.”

“Plus I can pay her in Dunkin coffee, which is a lot less than what the other candidates I interviewed wanted,” he joked. She made a face at him. “Alright, and money, yes. Even benefits, eventually.”

Rachael pushed her plate away, the tuna melt long gone and the fries all but eaten. She rested her face in her hands. “Yeah, that was a bigger adventure than storm chasing was that year, I think. God, getting him to do literally any amount of official paperwork is actually painful.”

“Which is why I gave her a raise and expanded her duties to include the business operations.” He snorted. “Worked out great for me - I just keep the truck and the equipment running, and don’t get us killed, she finds the storms and does taxes.”

Lucky frowned then, and Adam could almost hear what the other boy was thinking. He watched Lucky chew a french fry thoughtfully, swallow, and then open his mouth. Rachael, grinning like a shark, headed him off before he could get a word out. “If you’re about to ask if we are anything more than business partners, the answer is no. Everyone thinks so, though.” She sighed. “Alas, I’m married to a lovely woman who holds down the fort in Florida, and Noel here is married to Montana, I think.”

“Yeah, okay.” He shrugged. “Fair enough.”

“And you both just really like weather?” Adam asked, also choosing to push his plate away, although the handful of fries left were practically calling to him. “S’how you got into storm chasing?”

“I mean, I grew up in lightning country, so I guess it just carried on from there. I always liked it, wanted to know how it worked.” Rachael shrugged. “You?”

“I like road trips and tornadoes,” Noel answered, simply. “I went to college with a plan to get a business degree or something, but I actually went chasing for the first time after my freshman year, kind of fell into it, and switched my major to geology after that.”

Adam sat back. “Wicked.”

The waitress came back with the bill, and they all threw down a little cash, before wandering back out to the truck. Behind the storm, the sky was clear and dark, a few stars winking over the light pollution. Noel looked up as they crossed the parking lot and sighed. “You know that’s the thing about Montana. It really does have a sky you don’t get anywhere else. Figuratively speaking.”

“My Dad took me out to Colorado once,” Lucky said, conversationally. “We were out at some base in the middle of nowhere. The stars were insane - you could see the milky way and everything. Back home, there’s so much light pollution you’re lucky if you see enough stars to count on two hands.” He sighed, wistful. “Sometimes I think I might move out this way after school. I’m sick of DC, anyway.”

“Can’t imagine it’s a quiet place to live,” Rachael said sympathetically. “And if you’re looking to study meteorology it’s nice to have it closer to your backyard, so to speak. ‘Course, if you stay in Washington, maybe you could lobby against climate change.” Lucky made a disgusted noise in the back of his throat, and stuck out his tongue. “Or not. Just a thought.”

“No way. I’m over it. The whole DC rat-race.” He waved his arms, and then hauled the door to the back seat of the truck open. “Forget it.” Once in the truck, he looked across the back seat to Adam, who was fiddling with his seatbelt in the dark. “What about you, Adam? You think you wanna stay in England?”

“Oh, yeah,” Adam replied, without ever even having to think about it. He had, after all, made up his mind about that ages ago. “I like to travel and everything, though, so it’d be cool to find some job where you get to travel a bit. But yeah, Tadfield’ll always be home for sure.”

“That’s cool.” He rubbed his hands on his thighs, wiping the last remnants of chicken grease off on his shorts. “Is it a big place?”

Adam shook his head. “Oh, no. Few hundred people at the outside. But it’s close to Oxford, and not all that far from London, so it’s kind of the best of both worlds, I guess.” He looked out of the window, and tried to ignore the feeling of homesickness then - definitely not hunger anymore, no way it could be after that burger.

There was quiet for a minute, and then, gently, Rachael said, “Have you ever been away from home this long before?”

“No,” he answered, automatically, and then he flinched, glad for the darkness and the fact that his face was turned away from Lucky. He wasn’t ashamed that he hadn’t traveled for six weeks before, not at all, but he didn’t want the other guy to think he was some homesick little kid. “No,” he decided, going on as if he was bored with the subject, “but I’ve gone away for a couple weeks before, on holiday.”

“Six weeks is a long time,” Rachael answered, tone neutral. “I guess if we’re not going to be chasing tomorrow you’ll have time to call England at a reasonable hour, though, so there’s something, right?” She cracked the laptop open and smiled in the soft glow of the screen. “Silver lining in every cloud, right?”

“You see clouds?” Lucky leaned around the seat a little to get a better look.

“Not a one.”

-

When they arrived in Kansas City, the sun had long-since set, and the lights of the city illuminated the sky with a soft glow. They found a hotel on the outskirts of the city, cheap and clean, and parted ways to crash for the evening. Adam was looking forward to a quick shower and the soft embrace of a hotel mattress, but as he started to unpack for the night it appeared Lucky had other plans.

“So what do you think we should do tomorrow?”

“Huh? Oh. I dunno. What do you want to do?”

Lucky thought it over. “Dunno. We could just wander around the city, I guess. Oh, there’s an amusement park. You like rollercoasters?”

“They’re cool.” Adam shrugged. “Any museums or anything? Or like, barbecue?”

“Oh, a barbecue tour. Might be cool.” He tapped at his phone for a while, and scratched his beard thoughtfully. “What about this haunted building walking tour?”

“Oh yeah? Sounds awesome, actually. I’d be up for it.”

Lucky put his head to the side. “Yeah, I guess the Mormons were big around here for awhile? Oh, man, if we had a car we could take a day trip to the Garden of Eden, apparently.”

That drew a laugh out of Adam. “The Garden of Eden?” he asked, incredulous. “In driving distance? What is it, like a religious amusement park or something?”

“No, no, some people believe that the Garden of Eden was here in Missouri.” He giggled. “I always heard Eden was in the middle east or whatever. Like Mesopotamia area. Guess it could have been in Missouri though. Why not? No one really knows.”

Adam laughed. “I dunno, maybe someone does.”

“What, you know some immortals?” Lucky grinned. “Or what, wizards? Is Hogwarts real? I mean, I did move away when I was eleven, I could have missed my Hogwarts letter.”

“Never been to Hogwarts, nah. But you never know.” He shrugged. “All kinds of scholars figure it’s in the middle east. Maybe one of ‘em has an inside line, you know?”

“To who? God?”

Adam smirked. “You never know. Anyway, I’m gonna grab a shower. I’m in for the ghost tour thing tomorrow, though - sounds awesome.”

“You think they’re real?” The question stopped Adam halfway to the bathroom. “Ghosts, that is.”

Adam considered it. He could be honest**, of course, but then would Lucky think he was weird? But then the other boy had been the one to bring up the ghosts up in the first place. He chewed it over for a second, and then shrugged again. “Yeah.”

[** Not completely honest. There were things that he would always leave out. Being the actual Antichrist, for one.]

“Same.” He frowned. “I mean, I’ve never seen one, but there’s so many people that believe they exist, and that they’ve seen them, there has to be something to it, right?”

“Well …” Adam chewed his lip, and then, after a second, smiled. “Alright, maybe, yeah, but to play devil’s advocate for a minute, what if it’s not ghosts at all, but a totally natural phenomenon? Infrasound, or something?”

Lucky cocked his head. “Huh? What’s that?”

Adam looked to the shower, and then tossed his pajamas into the bathroom, haphazard on the tile floor, before he turned back around and headed to sit on his bed, legs crossed and leaned back, across from Lucky. He raised an eyebrow. “Infrasound. Supposedly can make people see and hear and thing all kinds of stuff. Hallucinations and everything.”

“I’ve never heard of it.” Lucky tossed his phone aside and fixed Adam with his full attention. “It can make people see ghosts?”

Adam grinned, wide and wicked. “You ever heard of the incident at Dyatlov Pass?”

“No. Is it weird?” Adam nodded. “Cool?” Another nod. “Mysterious?” A very affirmative nod. “Dude, tell me everything.”

Adam did. The pajamas sat, forgotten, on the bathroom floor, until the early hours of the morning, while the boys chattered on.

-

“Independence, Missouri.” The 4-Runner’s brakes didn’t dare squeak as it pulled to a stop. The engine hushed and shut off, and Crowley and Aziraphale sat for a long minute, staring out of the dark windshield to a field lit only by the car’s headlights. They didn’t need them, so Crowley shut them off too. “City of Zion,” Aziraphale observed, dryly. “Site of the Garden of Eden, they say.”

“I don’t remember all the corn,” Crowley said. Aziraphale didn’t respond, instead opening his door and stepping out of the car, into the humid night air. Above, the stars that managed to shine in spite of the light pollution glimmered weakly through the gaps in the clouds. 

Aziraphale surveyed the field below them, and when he spoke again, it was in a language so long-dead that Crowley had to scramble to figure out what he was saying, at first. But it surprised him, eventually, how easily it came back, how it rolled off his tongue when he replied, like it had never died, never been shattered to the four corners when the Tower fell.

“It’s funny, how they think, don’t you think?” The angel chuckled a little. “Wonder what our lives would have been like if it had really been here, don’t you?”

Crowley was silent for a second, and then Aziraphale looked over, surprised, as a skinny elbow dug into his ribs. “Maybe I’d have been a corn snake.”

“Crowley,” he admonished, while the demon burst out into laughter. “You’re speaking a dead language that’s not been heard in thousands of years, and you make a pun? Have some respect.”

“I never will.” He ran his hands through his hair, still snickering. “If the Garden was actually in Missouri …” He sighed. “Well, for one, we’d have different accents.”

Aziraphale rolled his eyes. “You’re ridiculous.” He left the demon to his own devices for a minute, giggling and making terrible puns in a tongue long-forgotten, and instead looked over the cornfield, flat and stretched out across the plains. On the other side, he could just hear the sound of running water.

“Oy, angel.��� Startled, Azirpahale looked to Crowley, wide-eyed. The other was watching him, and because his sunglasses were perched on his head, sending Crowley’s mess of red hair in all sorts of directions, Aziraphale could see his eyes properly. He looked amused, most of all, but somewhere in there he was watching Aziraphale carefully. Thoughtful. “What’re you thinking about?”

“The Garden. The real Garden.” He looked around, the creatures of the night crying and squeaking and chirping all around. “Do you think, Crowley, that if it had been here - really, in real life - things would have gone the same?”

Crowley puffed out a breath, thoughtful. “Deep, angel. S’a big question. You’re giving everything a whole new beginning, for a start. It’s all so big, an’ ineffable, hard to know, isn’t it?”

“The ineffable plan might have stayed the same.”

Crowley shifted uncomfortably. “It … would be different though, wouldn’t it? It’d have to be. The Garden is in a whole different place.”

“Not necessarily. What happened in the Garden probably didn’t happen just because the Garden was where it was. It happened because of the plan -”

“Oh, sod the plan,” Crowley said with a disgusted noise. “It happened because Eve wanted to know what else was out there, and Adam agreed with her. And She made it easy for them to find out, in a way.” He pointed upwards, to where the moon was trying to peek through the wispy layer of clouds left behind from the day’s storms. “Could have always put it up there.” He snorted. “She never had a plan, she just set the pieces out and let them fall where they did.”

Aziraphale scowled in the way he always did when his disagreed, and disapproved, but he didn’t say anything about it. It was an argument they had had time and time again - Aziraphale arguing that the plan is ineffable and therefore extant but not anything either he or Crowley would ever be able to understand, and Crowley arguing that there was no plan to begin with, and She was ad-libbing and rolling with the hits as they came - and he didn’t feel like having it tonight. Instead, he re-set his expression to a more neutral, thoughtful one, and slid his hand into Crowley’s. The demon, wordlessly, squeezed it. “What about us?”

Crowley looked surprised. “What about us?” He shifted nervously onto his heels, and then laced his fingers through Aziraphale’s, the better to keep his balance.

“Would we have turned out the same, do you think?”

“I …” Crowley trailed off. He thought. Aziraphale let him, and stood beside him in companionable silence, trying to corral his own ideas about that question into something he might be able to elucidate. “Depends,” Crowley decided, eventually. “I’d have still done the bit at the start of it all, but after that …” He fixed Azirpahale with a curious expression. “Would you have still given away your sword?”

It was a question Aziraphale hadn’t expected, only because the answer to it was so obvious. He blinked. “Of course.”

The demon nodded, satisfied. “Then angel, I would have followed you to the ends of the Earth to find out what you were going to do next, no matter where we started.” He squeezed Aziraphale’s hand. “So we’d probably have ended up just the same.”

The thought of it made the angel smile, and he stepped closer to Crowley, standing close enough that their shoulders bumped and settled together, close and familiar and soft in spite of Crowley’s bony joints. “With different accents.”

“Well, yeah. With different accents. Naturally.”

-

Now with Chapter 10!

[worshippingmendes-blog]

She’s Yours

I have no idea where this came from, also it’s the longest thing I have ever posted. But enjoy, and please reblog if you did!

wc: almost 3.4 k

”Donalds! Donalds!” Your three-year old squealed from the backseat as she saw the big yellow M. Usually, you weren’t the kind of mom to stuff your child full of junk food. But today was just one of those days. Being CEO for a  company and having a daughter to look after resulted in heavy shoulders and enough stress to last a life time.

You parked the car and went to unbuckle the giggling toddler. She was your princess. Dark brown curls put up in a ponytail, big green eyes framed by long eyelashes. She had your bright pink, plump lips, and the combination made her look as if she was taken directly from a movie

“Faster, mommy” she whined as you unbuckled her seatbelt, waving a pink teddy bear around.

“Look, all done. Let’s go now peaches”

You held your hand out and she wrapped hers around your index finger as she took a jump out of the car.

Another excited squeal escaped her lips as she landed steadily on the ground.

“Good girl” you smiled as you locked the door behind you and headed to the entrance.

As she saw the many slides from the playground in the building she stopped, mouth agape.

“Mommy, look! Slidies!”

You cringed slightly at her nickname for the slides before you gently pulled her away.

“You can play later baby, now we need to eat okay?”

She let out a disappointed sigh but did as she was told. Her mood soon disappeared as she looked up over the menus.

“I want the one with cheese! And potato sticks!”

You could not help but let out a laugh.

“Potato sticks? Baby do you mean fries?”

She wrinkled her nose, something she always did when she didn’t agree. It reminded you of someone.

“No I want potato sticks”

You shook your head slightly as you ordered a happy meal on the big screen.

“Then potato sticks it is”

“Do you want to pick a seat while mommy gets the food?”

The toddler nodded excitedly and went off to find somewhere to sit. You watched her hair bounce at her steps, her grey cardigan almost falling off. She waved happily to you as she sat down in a red couch. You waved back as you grabbed the food. As you sat down the tray in front of her her eyes went wide, and you realized that you really should take your daughter out more.

“A cheeseburger and potato sticks for the princess” you smiled as you opened the box.

She grabbed your food and placed it in front of you.

“Potato sticks and burger for mommy”

You raised an eyebrow at her, causing a giggle to escape.

“Thank you Elle”

You ate your food in peace, giggling and talking. She told you about Allie, her preschool teacher, that could do five cartwheels in a row. And Kelsey, her best friend that she made a bracelet with.

Elle took a bite out if her cheeseburger and you saw how a lump if ketchup fell out and landed on her burgundy dress.

“Estelle!”

She looked up to you, pouting while having her mouth full of food”

“Sorry mommy”

You were used to her constant spilling and clumsy behavior, and that was why the bigger part id her closet was just in darker colors.

You wiped it of as good as you could but let out a sigh as there still was a dark spot on her brand new dress.

”You little munchkin”

Elle just giggled and dipped her fries in the ketchup.

“I’m done”

You scanned over her plate to find only half a burger left on it.

“Okay, let me see your hands”

She held her small hands out and you wipes them off with a napkin.

“Now go play, mommy will just wait here okay?” You said with a smile and adjusted her dress, removing the cardigan as it was doomed to fall of. She shot you a smile and ran of to the other kids and you could not help but be happy. She really was a little princess, always so polite and almost never threw tantrums. But then again, the terrible twos was almost over.

You took another fry into your mouth and cleaned up on table before grabbing your phone. You answered some emails and scrolled through instagram, reading up on the latest gossip about the kardashians, and of course leaving a like on Chris Hemsworth’s latest post.

“Y/n?” A familiar voice said, and you felt the blood in your veins turn to ice.

“Yes?”

You turned your face around to face the tall brunette. He sent you a big smile as he leaned down to give you a hug. He smelled like cologne and coffee.

“Wow it’s been so long”

“Can I sit?”

He sent you a questionable look as he nodded to the now empty couch in front of you.

“How have you been?”

You smiled back at him, realizing how good he looked. He looked the same as he did when he was twenty, only more mature. A slight stubble clad his normally smooth cheeks. His chocolate eyes looked a bit tired, but still filled with love. His dark locks were hanging messily over his face, giving you the impression that he also had one of those days.

“Great, just busy with work and such. How about you? I heard the new album, it’s great Shawn”

He smiled as he took a sip of his coke. Dipping a fry in your ketchup.

“Thank you. I’ve been busy as well. Moving back to Pickering and all”

You shot him a look over the table, he loved Toronto, why would he just leave it?”

“You moved back to Pickering? Why?”

He shrugged his shoulders, putting another fry into his mouth.

“I’m always traveling and I realised that I wanted to spend more time with my family”

You nodded slightly.

“But you don’t live with your parents, right?”

Shawn let out a laugh.

“Oh god no. That would make me the only 25 year old who voluntarily moved back to his parents house”

“But no, I got an apartment only between toronto and Pickering. So I have close to both”

You giggled a little, thinking back to memories in his childhood home.

“What? What’s so funny?” He smiled.

“I just- do you remember that family union?”

His cheeks flushed red at the through and he ran a tattooed hand through his hair.

“The one where my aunt caught us making out in the basement?”

“Oh yes I remember. How could I ever forget?”

You were both full on laughing at this point. The embarrassment washed away long ago.

“Oh god that was really something”

You said, wiping a tear from the corner of your eye.

“I can’t believe it’s already been 4 years”

You looked up, meeting his eyes.

“I miss you Y/n. Everything was so much better when we were together”

His eyes were filled with regret and you felt the knot in your stomach growing by the second.

“I still love you”

Your eyes went wide and you stoppes breathing for a second.

“Mommy!”

A small voice said, dragging your sleeve.

“Mommy!”

You snapped out of your trans and turned to face your daughter. Feeling Shawn’s burning looks on the side of your face.

“Can you fix my dress? It’s weird” she whined and turned around, giving you access to close the open button.

“Okay peaches, all done” you answered, turning her around again. She gave you a smile before turning to Shawn, pointing to him with her little finger.

“Who’s that?”

Your eyes flickered between her and Shawn, both staring confused at you.

“Eh, um. Mommy’s friend baby, don’t worry about it. Now go play again”

You gave her a gentle push and on the contrary of what you wanted, she went up to Shawn. Breathing suddenly felt like a hard task.

“Hi mommy’s friend. I’m Estelle, but mama calls me Elle. Or munchkin, or peaches. Or when she’s mad at me she says ‘Estelle Aaliyah Y/l/n’. Because I have two names! How many do you have?”

Shawn’s face was draining of color, and he looked like he was going to pass out. He cleared his throat before leaning forward to talk to her.

“Two names huh? I have three”

Elle’s jaw dropped and she turned to you, green eyes almost glowing in awe.

“Three names?”

You smiled a little to her before she turned to Shawn again.

“You are so cool, what’s your names?”

“Shawn Peter Raul”

She blinked with her long lashes before scrunching her nose.

“Why did mommy only give me two?”

You giggled before tightening her pony tail a little.

“Now off you go peaches”

She looked at Shawn again, think about if she should ask him to play with her or not. Eventually she just shot him a smile and ran back to the playground.

There was an icy silence over the table. Your heart beat in what felt like 200 beats per minute and you didn’t dare to face Shawn.

“You have a daughter?”

The question was expected and you turned to face him again.

“Yes”

Shawn swallowed thickly before placing his elbows on the table.

“How old is she?”

“Three, soon four”

He pressed his hands over his mouth as he was thinking.

“That means- that…”

His eyes seemed to be searching for something, as they flickered over the table.

“She’s yours”

His eyes met yours. He furrowed his brows and rested his face in his hands.

“I have a daughter?” his voice was sharp, not loud but just harsh.

“I have a three year old daughter that I didn’t know about?”

You stared down at the table, being too ashamed to face him.

“I’m sorry Shawn, but after we ended I didn’t know how to tell you. You were on the other side of the globe for god’s sake. I was 19!”

“And I was 20!” he snapped.

“You know I would have gotten on the first plane home to you. Instead you made me miss everything! I never even had a choice!”

You felt it burn behind your eyes. He had every right to be mad, to be furious.

“I didn’t want to be in your way Shawn. You were on the top if your career! Everything was going so great in your life and I-I”

“You didn’t tell me that you were pregnant! You didn’t tell me that you were having my child!” He yelled, getting the attention of a few elders in the back.

You sighed and looked at him.

There were so many emotions hidden in those beautiful eyes of his. He was mad, angry and disappointed. And there was nothing you could do about it, the harm had already been done.

“I’m sorry Shawn. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you about Estelle. But try to put yourself in my shoes.”

You took a deep breath, you’ve had this conversation so many times in your head before, but now everything was different. Now there really was a man demanding to know why you hid his child from him.

“You were this big superstar and I was just your girlfriend from Pickering, what do you think people would say about us, about me? Probably that I did it on purpose only so I could get access to your money, or that I somehow used this child to-“

“I couldn’t do it. And there has not been a day where I don’t regret it, cause I do. I regret robbing you of the chance of being a father and I regret robbing Estelle of having one. And yes, what I did was selfish and foolish. But I did it to protect myself and to protect her”

You looked over to the playground where Elle was running around chasing a blonde boy. She had a wide smile on her lips and it hit you how much she looked like her father. You had never thought about it like that before, hadn’t dared to compare them. But now you did.

“She’s all I have Shawn. She’s my princess”

Shawn was leaning back on the couch, hands cupped over his mouth and legs spread wide.

“I don’t want to talk about this in a McDonalds”

You nodded understandable.

“That’s okay. You can come to my place tonight if you want to”

The idea of having him in your life once again was both filled with happiness and sorrow. But he deserved an explanation.

“Yea- that’ll be, that’s be great” he stuttered, cheeks flustered.

You gave him a small smile as you yelled on Elle to come since you were leaving. She returned with a pout on her face, giving you her best puppy eyes.

“Nope, that’s not going to work biscuit”

She sighed and grabbed her cardigan.

Shawn stood up as well, getting ready to leave. His eyes were glued to his daughter. Probably noticing the similarities in their features. That he didn’t notice that before, the toddler was an exact copy of himself.  He sank back down on the sofa and you gave him a look, almost asking for permission to leave. He nodded slightly and you took your daughters hand, leading her out of the building.

As you were driving home, you tried to process the events of the day. As you were deep in your thought you were Interrupted by your daughter.

“Mommy?”

You glanced over in the rear view mirror.

“Yes baby?”

She thought for a second. Hugging the pink unicorn tight to her chest.

“Why don’t I have a daddy?”

You froze. The day kept getting better and better.

“What do you mean?”

She furrowed her brows.

“Mikey asked me what my mommy and daddy was called and when I said that I don’t have a daddy he said that it was weird because everyone else have one”

You swore quietly at the blonde boy.

“Well baby you have a daddy”

“Then where is he?”

You parked your car and unbuckled Elle.

“Your dad- he and mommy are not together”

She held your hand as you walked up the stairs to the apartment.

“I know mommy, I’m almost four”

Giggling you unlocked the door and removed her shoes.

“It’s complicated honey, you’re too young to understand these things” you tapped her nose playfully and kissed the top of her head.

“But-“

“Estelle, please. I’m too tired for this, okay?”

You felt a wave of guilt wash over you as you saw the disappointment in her eyes. With a sigh she went into her room to play with her toys.

You went straight to the kitchen and poured yourself a big glass of wine. You still remembered the day you watches the two lines appear on the stick. The fear that had came over you as a shock. You were so confused at the time, but there was one thing that you knew from the moment you noticed that your period was late. That life, Shawn’s life, was nothing you wanted your child to be a part of.

The evening was rather uneventful, a bowl of cereal was thrown on the floor followed by a giggling “Sorry mommy”.

“Sleep tight, love bug” you said and placed a kiss on her forehead. She wrapped her small arms around your neck and placed a wet kiss on your cheek.

“Goodnight mama”

You tucked her in before you got up and turned of the lights before slowly closing the door behind you.

It was 8 pm and there had been no word from Shawn. But you couldn’t blame him, there where probably so many emotions going through his mind at the moment. You sighed and took another sip of the now almost empty wine glass.

-

At 11:47 there was three hard knocks on your door. You paused the movie you were watching and went to open the door. Shawn stood outside, looking like a mess. Hair was all over the place, cheeks crimson and he had dark circles under his eyes. He smelled like alcohol and soap, an odd combination. His eyes raked over your body and you were reminded of the fact that you were only wearing a pair of shorts and a tank top, without a bra. You crossed your arms over your chest, trying to cover up a little as you leaned against the doorframe.

“Are you drunk?”

Shawn smirked a little, showing of his white teeth. He pressed his thumb and index finger together.

“Maybe a little”

You rolled your eyes as you opened the door wider, meaning for him to come in. The made some noise as he slammed the door shut and you placed a finger over you lips and hushed him.

“She’s sleeping”

He took a seat in the big couch and stared into the white wall.

“I’m really fucking mad you know”

He turned his head to look at you as you sat down on the side.

“I know”

“And you probably had a really fucking good reason, or that’s what I hope, but that was really fucked up y/n”

Shawn usually didn’t swear to much, but when he was drunk they came out like running water.

“And hell, I don’t even know what I’m going to do. I want to be a part of her life! But thanks to you I’ve missed the first four years of her existence”

You looked down, playing with the ends of the blanket.

“And I know you’re sorry and all that shit but it doesn’t help me”

His eyes were glossy and you could tell he was on the verge of crying.

“Like I don’t even know how to tell my fucking family about this, that I have a daughter?”

His voice broke of at the end and you wanted to comfort him somehow, wrap your arms around him and tell him how sorry you were. That you wished you could take back everything you had done.

“I’m her fucking father Y/n!” he yelled. Not seeing the little girl standing in the doorframe from her room.

“Mommy?”

The little voice made his head snap back to it. He stared at his daughter, wearing a pink pyjamas. Curls hanging loosely around her face but cheeks a slight pink from sleep. Her lazy eye was a bit more droopy than usual.

Shawn exhaled deeply as she moved closer, but not to you. Instead she walked up to Shawn, standing in front of him with her bunny dangling from her right hand.

“You’re my daddy?”

Her eyebrows were wrinkled and nose scrunched together.

Shawn was speechless, and he looked at you for support.

“Yes baby, that’s your daddy” you said, voice soft and silky.

Estelle and Shawn just looked at each other, both being stunned by the moment.

Shawn carefully opened his mouth to talk.

“Hi Estelle with two names”

She smiled big at him.

“Hi daddy with three names”

He flinched at the name before smiling softly at her.

Estelle carefully sat down next to her dad. She held up the old stuffed animal for Shawn to see.

“This is Bunny, mommy gave him to me when I was a baby. I can’t sleep without him”

She showed of her small front teeth as she looked up to met his eyes.

He gently grabbed Bunny from her hands and inspected it carefully.

“I had a Bunny when I was younger as well, his name was Mr. Carrot”

Elle giggled at the name as she gently pet the bunny.

“Mr. Carrot? That’s a funny name”

Shawn smiled back down at her.

“Yes, I guess it is. I got him from my mom because I had nightmares. She said that if I only hugged him all the bad dreams would go away and never come back. Mr. Carrot was magical like that, he could make all the bad disappear”

He looked at his daughter like she was the sun and he was the earth. And she looked at him just the same.

And just for a moment, it felt like everything was the way it’s supposed to.

[restlessmelodrama]

Say I Never Mattered Chapter 1  *:･ﾟ✧

Steve Harrington x Y/N Henderson (Slowburn)

Warnings: Swearing (i guess), also… probably bad writing.

Chapter 1  / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5 /

Chapter 6 / Chapter 7 / Chapter 8

Playlist

A/N:  Hi, you may have noticed, that this is a new account.

I’ve been on Tumblr for- who the fuck knows? Many years. I feel old.

I wrote some fanfics before, and a few people were reading it.

Then out of nowhere like every mentally-stable person would, I deleted everything and disappeared from the Internet for two years. But I’m back now, so hey!

I guess my writing isn’t that bad, so I hope you enjoy. xD

⟡ Tell me, if I should continue this series and leave some constructive criticism if you want to.

P.S: I’m not a native speaker, so sorry if I made any mistakes. 

There you were.

Walking down the rainy, cold streets of Hawkins, Indiana.

You had just left the modest road between Euclid and Monroe leading to a few gorgeous houses, with garages as big as your home and huge heated pools with jets. Upper-class shit.

It was shortly after eleven am on a Friday night in November and the poorly lit streets of Hawkins were deserted, as always right after nightfall. This town was the definition of a dump.

You were rummaging through your backpack, searching for your small mirror, in the need to check if black streaks of mascara were visible on your face. You had to look somewhat presentable since you still had to pick up your little brother from the Wheeler’s place.

You found it right when you turned onto Maple Street and tried to wipe away one of the destructions this night had left, with the right sleeve of your beloved jean jacket and buttoned it up to hide the rest of the visible embarrassment. Continuing to walk to the only house in the neighborhood with its lights still on.

You rang the doorbell and quickly walked the few steps, leading to the front door, back down. You were a little tipsy and did not wanna risk an argument with Mr. Wheeler about underaged drinking. If he couldn’t smell the alcohol he wouldn’t notice, since he barely even noticed your existence... or anyone’s as a matter of fact.

The light turned on and the door opened, revealing a pissed Ted Wheeler in a green tracksuit and Birkenstocks. His usual look.

“Hi, Mr. Wheeler. Sorry for the late disturbance, but I’m here to pick up my brother“, you said in the friendliest way possible.

He looked at you in confusion.

“Dustin Henderson“, you tried to help him.

Still no sign of enlightenment

“You know, wild curls, baseball cap, very annoying.“, you told him, nervously chuckling, hoping he would finally snap out of it.

“Oh yeah Justin“, he nodded.

“It’s Dus-“, you wanted to correct him, but you were interrupted.

“They’re in the basement. Can you go down there and get him? I’m watching the game.“, he asked with an annoyed undertone in his voice.

„Um- uh sure… I can go“, you stuttered.

This guy was unbelievable. Incredibly useless. A waste of space.

You never understood what Mrs. Wheeler saw in the man.

You took a deep breath and followed him inside. He pointed you towards the living room and disappeared into their kitchen.

You shook your head in disbelief, walking through the Wheeler home. It was already decorated for Christmas.

You always admired Mrs. Wheeler’s assertiveness to turn their place into a Winter Wonderland although her family hated it. Everywhere you looked were little ornaments, fairy lights or other decorations.

It made you think of decorating the tree with your mom and your brother. A very distant but happy memory.

You were about to open the door to the basement when Mr. Wheeler called after you.

“Hey, Henderson, hold up! One question.“

“Yes?“ You asked, turning around after rolling your eyes, wondering what the hell he could possibly want, certain that he had called you by your last name because he couldn’t remember your first.

“Is there a chance you have seen my daughter, Nancy anywhere?“, he wanted to know, really pushing his parental might, as he was staring you down.

He clearly thought he was an authority figure to you, which was so far off, that it was kind of funny. Especially in your tipsy state of mind.

“No… I’m afraid I haven’t.”, you responded, biting back your laughter.

“Aren’t you two always out together?“, he wanted to know next, crossing his arms over his chest.

What world was this guy living in?

“Yes, that would be true if we were still in middle school exchanging our lunch boxes, Mr. Wheeler.

We barely talk now.“ you declared, sighing.

“Oh, okay”, he said, already having lost interest in what you were telling him.

You gave him a sarcastic smile, that you normally used when you were about to flip somebody off and turned around, stepping into the basement and leaving the ignorant man behind. You kept standing on top of the staircase for a few seconds, attempting to calm yourself down, but were interrupted by Max sighing in relief,

“Shit, Y/ N! You scared me. I thought you were my brother.“, she blurted out.

“Oh, sorry to disappoint, but I believe my hairdo isn’t a mullet, looking like I planted some roadkill on my head. Also, my jeans are just not that tight“, you joked, the kids erupting into laughter and earning yourself a high-five from Lucas.

“You’re good for tonight, though.“, you said reaching into your pocket to reveal a set of keys. You tossed them over to Max, who had a look on her face like she had just won the lottery, as soon as she realized who they belonged to.

“You took his keys?“, she asked, her eyes growing wide, a huge smile on her face.

“Yeah, he tried to drive home shitfaced, so I thought I’d do everyone else on planet earth a favor and take them. Well, except for Harrington, because Billy totally crashed in the shed in his backyard.“, you explained planting yourself on the couch next to Mike, digging into the bag of tortilla chips and stuffing a few in your mouth.

You tried not to think about it too much but your heart began to hurt when his name left your lips. You didn’t know what to think. That night had been messy and ugly and heartbreaking.

“You definitely saved my ass. Thanks, Y/N!“, Max interrupted your thoughts again.

You cleared your throat, trying to get rid of the feeling of it closing up,

“Anytime, California.“, you smiled.

The party had been playing DnD, all day and they begged you to let them finish the game, stating it would only take a few more minutes.

Almost an hour later, they had finally lost and your brother was displeased enough to be willing to leave since he was a sore loser.

You quickly said your goodbyes and left through the back door.

“Where’s the car?“ Dustin asked when you reached the front of the house.

He seemed pretty drained all of a sudden.

“I had something to drink, tonight, so no driving for me, sorry. 

Also, dad needed my car earlier today“, you brought up as casual as possible, trying to make it seem harmless.

Dustin sighed, rolling his eyes, “He took off again. Didn’t he?“

“No, Dusty, I’m sure he will be home by tomorrow.“, you lied once more, giving him a hopefull smile.

“You know that’s utter bullshit.“, he hissed, kicking the ground in frustration.

Bullshit, it was like the fucking word was haunting you. Tonight it kept growing, tougher and meaner.

“We both know that it’s not likely that we will see him or your car anytime soon. You can stop pretending, Y/N. I’m not a little kid. I know what’s going on.“, he exclaimed clearly angry.

He didn’t know what was going on. Not all of it, and you were very thankful for that.

But he was right, he wasn’t little anymore. You still hoped you could give him the kind of childhood, you weren’t allowed to have. You felt the tears build up again, but you were able to hold them back. You didn’t want Dustin to feel even worse just because you were tipsy and emotional.

“You’re right“, you gave him a sad smile, 

“But you’re also not grown up yet and you already have enough on your plate, Dusty.“, you said, feeling a little overwhelmed as your vision began to blur.

He must have seen the tears in your eyes and your exhausted posture because he immediately gave up on reasoning with you.

Both of you fell into silence for a  few minutes. Your brother was staring at the ground and dragging his feet.

You bit your lip. You hated when things were that way between you.

You moved a bit closer to him and slightly pushed his side with your elbow.

“How about some fries and a milkshake?“, you asked trying to get him to talk to you again. You couldn’t bear that silence.

He looked at you with furrowed brows and a scrunched up nose, “It’s almost 1am.“

“All right grandpa!“, you teased him, “If you’d rather go home to stare at our empty fridge, we’ll do that.“ 

“Oh, hell no! Let’s go to Benny’s Burgers. They are open all night on Fridays.“, he chuckled almost sounding offended.

You smiled, putting an arm around the boy's shoulders, turning the corner to Randolph Lane.

“Y/N? One more thing…“, he asked stopping in his tracks, looking serious all of a sudden.

“What is it?“, you asked, squinting your eyes a little.

“You’re paying right?“, he grinned.

And you let out heartfelt laughter.

“Oh no Mister, since you don’t want to be treated like a little kid anymore, I think you’re going to pay for yourself. Welcome to adulthood, brother.“ You told him still laughing and obviously thinking he would get the joke, but he didn’t.

“Oh, come on Y/N, I-“, he began to argue.

The rest of his sentence was swallowed by the sound of your heart beating so loud, you thought it would hop right out of your chest, any second. Excruciating pain was moving through your entire body, as you stared at the dark-red BMW parked in front of the restaurant.

You felt a cold shiver run down your back and your throat was starting to hurt again.

Tonight the odds really weren’t in your favor.

“Cool, Steve is here! Maybe he can drive us home later.“, Dustin exclaimed, excitedly.

“Yeah, Maybe“, you whispered, not wanting to alert your brother.

You were walking, a few hesitant steps behind Dustin, your mind telling you to run in the other direction and not stop until you were out of this fucking town leaving behind everything. Your family, your responsibilities and him. Especially him.

Fuck.

[captainoftherollyjoger]

Future Planning

It's Roland's birthday and the group are going on a trip to the zoo. Killian isn't too sure what to think. Throughout the day, Emma thinks about the future she might have with Killian, if only she could find the right words. 

   A few innuendos, a bit of humour, teeny bit of angsty. Over protective mother mode from Emma. Thanks to my bestie @thatwolfbookgirl for suggesting this idea! I say suggesting. More demanding.

Ao3

 “Henry! Hurry up!” Emma shouted up the stairs, he was still in the shower. They had two bathrooms and it still took them ages to get ready. As much as she loved her life, after all, she was married to a man who would go to the end of the world for her, and she had a smart son, she sometimes missed the ease that came with a lonely life. She could grab a coat and walk out the door. Not anymore.

 “What’s the rush, love?” Killian walked into the lounge. He was wearing some grey sweatpants and a black t-shirt, a coffee in his hand.

 “Killian! Why aren’t you dressed?” She stressed. “We’re meant to be meeting the gang at nine! It’s eight thirty.” He just smirked at her. He placed his mug on the table and sauntered over, he snuggled into her neck. “No. You can’t just do this everytime I’m mad.” She stepped back. “Go upstairs, march your arse into our shower, and get changed.”

 His eyebrow raised, “I think you should join me, love. Seems you have a little bit of tension to relieve.”

 “I’ve showered. I’m tense because I promised we wouldn’t be late. As usual! For a pirate captain, you’ve really got lazy.”

 “What can I say, you’ve tamed me.” He walked slowly out the room.

 “Walk with a bit more purpose, Hook.”

 Henry was sitting on the couch, finally. One down, one to go. She had heard Killian shut their bedroom door, at least he was getting somewhere.

“Have you got enough entertainment for the journey? It’s two hours remember.”

“It will feel even longer if you and Killian always make eyes at each other.”

“Stop listening to your mother, we don’t make eyes.” What on earth was he doing? She stomped upstairs. She barged into their room, he was sitting on the bed in his towel. “What are you doing?”

 “I’m tired, Swan.” He lay back on the bed. “I can’t be bothered going out. I can think of much better things to do. Why don’t you join me?” He smirked.

 “Killian, this trip has been planned for a month! Get your clothes on.” He blew his fringe from his eyes. “You need a haircut.”

 “I could get one today.”

 “No, we’re going to the zoo today. Come on, it’s Roland’s birthday. You know how much he loves you.” Killian groaned, he really liked the little lad. She climbed next to him on the bed, he pulled her on top of him.

 “See, isn’t this much better?” He smirked. He went to kiss her but she dodged. She leant down to his ear.

 “Get changed, and I’ll make sure Regina has Henry tonight. I’ll make it up to you then.” She smirked, she kissed his neck as a promise. She got up and he immediately started getting changed. “That’s a good boy.” She laughed and left the room. “Make sure you pick up Roland’s present off the counter.”

 The three of them finally arrived at the Loft. 09:01. Not bad.

 “Killy!” Shouted Roland, the little boy ran up to him and jumped into his arms.

 “Woah! Hey, little thief.” He lifted the boy into the air. “Happy Birthday! Now, tell me, how old are you?”

 “Seven!”

 “Yay! You’re nearly as tall as your daddy.” He smiled. Robin walked over.

 “Roland, put your coat on.” Killian placed the boy down and he did as he was told. Emma walked over to him.

 “How can a seven year old do what he’s told, yet you can’t?

 “I’m a rebel. Like in that Star Wars thing that Henry always talks about.”

  Roland had his coat on and walked back over to Emma and Killian.

 “Hey, Roland. Killian’s got your present.”

 “No, I haven’t.”

 “I told you to pick it up. Did you forget?” At least he had the decency to look guilty. “For goodness sake Killian. I asked you to do one thing.” She sighed and walked off.

 “Wives.” Laughed Robin. “She doesn’t look too happy with you.”

 “Aye, I’ve not been the best today. Admittedly.”

 “Captain Hook scolded by a woman, who would have thought that day would occur?”

 “I’ve been scolded by many a woman, Rob. However, Emma actually matters. I’ll fetch your son’s present over later.” He smiled.

 “Don’t worry about it. He’s got plenty.”

 They finally got on the road. They had to go in different cars. Mary-Margaret, David, and Neal in the truck; Robin, Regina, and Roland in her car; and Emma, Henry, Violet, and Killian in the bug. Violet had met them at the Loft, Henry had invited her along for some company. Emma hadn’t spoken to Killian since she stormed off. Violet and Henry were chatting away in the back of the car, but Killian just sat feeling sorry for himself. Emma looked annoyed. Henry had bought Killian a new phone for his birthday, they decided to upgrade him to a smartphone and introduced him to SnapChat. Most of the town had regretted that. He took his phone out of his pocket, Emma was too busy concentrating on driving and being mad at him, he took a silly picture and sent it her. Even if she wouldn’t see it yet. He rested his head on the side.

 Emma was feeling quite annoyed with her husband. They were pulling into the services, there was only so far a seven year old’s bladder could go. Killian was sleeping on the door, she may have gone over a speed bump harsher than she had to. His head lifted and smacked back on the door. He woke up immediately.

 “What’s wrong, bang your head?”

 “Urm, yeah.” He rubbed it better. They got out of the car and headed for some food. Violet and Henry ran off to McDonalds, but Emma and Hook opted for Burger King. They sat opposite each other on a small table, Emma was checking her phone. A snapchat from Killian. She opened it. He was pulling a funny face with a caption Sorrrrrrryyy, I love youuuu ;D. She laughed and looked up at him, he was stuffing his face with his burger.

 “What’s so funny, Swan?” He asked after he swallowed his large bite.

 “You. You’re a goofball.” She smiled. “Sorry for being grumpy.” She leant over the table and kissed him. "I've just been thinking about something."

 “Sorry for being a pain. I’ll be on my best behaviour. Care to share?” She shook her head.

 The whole group arrived at the zoo. Roland was jumping up and down in excitement.

 “What are we seeing first, daddy?” Robin smiled and handed him a map.

 “Up to you, you’re the birthday boy.”

 “So, Swan. What is this place?” Asked Killian, who was now holding Emma’s hand. Henry had mimicked a gagging motion towards Violet, when they started being lovey dovey again.

“It’s a zoo. It’s where we can see wild animals. Some people disagree with them, some think they’re cruel, caging animals up. Others think they’re useful, they have breeding programmes and such, plus they’re educational.”

 “What kind of animals? Like dogs?”

 “They don’t have dogs at zoos, Killian.” Laughed Henry. “They have lions and stuff.”

 “Lions? What’s a lion?”

 “You’ll see.” Emma patted his chest.

 “I want to see the elephants!” Shouted Roland.

 “Elephant?”

 “You can’t miss them, Killian.” Smiled Violet.

 The group headed straight to the elephant enclosure. There was a whole range of sizes of elephant. Killian looked terrified.

 “Swan, they are huge. What’s that thing on it’s face.”

 “It’s nose, Killian.”

 “It’s nose? It could give August a run for his money.” He found his joke hilarious, as did Robin. Emma gave him a stern look. “I’m kidding around, love.”

 “Stop being mean to August. Just because you’re jealous of him.”

 “No I’m not!”

 “You so are, Captain.” Laughed Regina. Killian shot her a nasty look.

 “Daddy! Giraffe’s next!” The little boy ran off and they all followed.

 “What the hell is wrong with that things neck? Has it been tortured? It’s taller than the bloody beanstalk I’ve had to climb. Twice.” He smirked at Emma, always fond of remembering their first adventure together. “If I’m not wrong, Dave. That’s where you called me son.” He smiled, smacking the prince on the shoulder.

 “I regret it more and more each day.” He sighed.

 “Killy!” Roland was being asked to be picked up. “It’s a giraffe! They come from Africa.” Killian put the boy on his shoulders.

 “If you keep growing anymore, you’ll be just as tall, lad.” Emma laughed at him. “What else do you know about them?”

 “They have a blue tongue to stop them from getting sunburn!”

 “Wow, that’s very cool. You’re much more clever than your father.”

 “Hey!”

Killian kept Roland on his shoulders for a while, he demanded to see the lions next. Henry and Violet had disappeared, they wanted to go watch the parrot show. Killian was completely against that idea. Parrots he was well aware of. No thank you.

 “Why do these animals have such a big cage around them? They looked harmless, Swan.” He was watching the large male lion dozing in the sun.

 “I can assure you, hubby. You don’t want to mess with a lion.” She chuckled. “They look harmless, but honestly, they’ll kill you.”

 “Hmm, I think I know someone who reminds me of a lion.” He smirked, he leaned in and kissed her.

 “Ew! Killy! Stop it.” Roland yanked his head back by his hair.

 “Ow! That hurt.”

 “Then don’t kiss people in public.”

 “She’s my wife!”

 “Who cares? Take me over there.” He rolled his eyes and did as the boy commanded.

  Mary Margaret walked up to Emma’s side, David was holding Neal and pointing at the lions, he had just started walking.

 “They’re cute together.” Smiled her mother. “Roland and Killian.”

 “Yeah, they are.” She smiled. Her mother gave her a big smile. “No, mom. This is not the time for that conversation.”

 “Is it so bad for a mother to want her child to be happy?”

 “I am happy.”

 “I know, dear. But, I know what would make you happier. You’re ready, and you know it.” Emma rolled her eyes. “He’s ready.”

 “He’s been ready for a while.” She admitted.

 “It would make him extremely happy.”

 “Hook is extremely happy anyway, especially with Henry opening up more and more with him. He keeps asking him loads of questions about Violet.”

 “Is romantic advice from Killian what you want Henry to be hearing?”

 “He won me over, didn’t he?”

 “Eventually.” Emma sighed. “Can we just have a nice day out? I don’t want to think about anything serious today.”

 “What are we queuing for?” Whined Killian. “We’ve been standing here for ages.”

 “Stop moaning.”

 “But, Swaaan. I’m hungry, when’s lunch?” He hugged her around the back and rested his head on her shoulder, he let out a large animated sigh.

 “Five minutes.”

 The five minutes passed quickly and their group was shouted up. Henry and Violet had returned to them. They were having a group picture taken, it was pirate themed, Killian was not impressed.

“Who’s wearing the pirate hat?” Asked the photographer, he was too cheery for Killian’s liking,

“This one, here.” Laughed Emma, pointing at Killian.

“Here you go, sir.”

 “I am not wearing that.” The hat had a long black wig attached to it, similar to the Disney Hook. “You can offer me all the money in the world, I wouldn’t be seen dead in that.”

 “That can be arrange, Captain, put on the hat and make Roland’s day special before I do something you regret.” Spat Regina. He grumpily put the hat on. The man took the picture, but Hook refused to smile.

 “Would you mind smiling, captain?” Asked the photographer. Emma had her arm around him and pinched him.

 “Ow!”

 “Smile.” It was more a grimace than a smile, but they took it. He ripped the hat off and walked off.

 “He really doesn’t like looking like an idiot, does he?” Laughed Henry.

 “Doesn’t he look in the mirror everyday?” Asked Regina, they all laughed. Even Emma. He heard them and walked faster.

 “He gets hangry. If we feed him, he’ll be fine.” Said Emma.

 They had lunch in a large cafeteria, everyone was chatting nicely, Hook’s mood had improved now he had some chicken nuggets in him. Regina bought Roland a cupcake and stuck a candle in it. They sang happy birthday to him and everyone around them cheered. The next enclosure they ventured to was the lemurs and monkeys, the room was open, so they could walk through. Emma and Killian were chatting by a water feature, when he saw Emma eyeing up Henry. He turned and looked, the pair were holding hands and laughing together.

 “Now, now, Swan. It is his girlfriend. Calm your motherly wrath.” Killian was grinning like an idiot.

 “You enjoy it too much, you love seeing him get flustered over her.”

 “What can I say? It’s too funny, he gets all nervous and sweaty. Plus, he does so many embarrassing things in front of her, always dropping things, walking into things and such.”

 “You’re not always the dashing rapscallion you think you are. I seem to remember a certain deckhand who couldn’t even speak to me. Getting all nervous when I taught him to sword fight.”

 “Any man would be nervous with you and a sword near them. If I remember correctly, the first time we met you held a dagger to my throat.”

 “You were a different kind of nervous, you kept tripping over your words, you fancied me.” She teased.

 “Course I did, you defeated a dragon, plus you were the most beautiful woman I ever met. You always will be, Swan.” He smirked.

 “I know.”

 “Swan, why is that bird pink?”

 “It’s a flamingo.”

 “Why is it standing on one leg?”

 “Because if it stood on none, it would fall over.” Even she smirked at the speed of her response.

 “You think you’re sooo funny.” He ran over and started tinkling her sides.

 “Killian! No, don’t! I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have been funny, don’t. Stop. Stop. Please.”

 “Get a room.” Sighed Regina.

 “Speaking of which, will you have Henry tonight? If he agrees?” Asked Emma.

 “He told me he was staying at Violet’s.”

 Emma froze, “He’s what?” Hook smirked. “I don’t think so.”

 “Let the lad stay.”

 “Killian, he’s sixteen.”

 “May I remind you that by the time you were seventeen, you were pregnant.” Stated Regina.

 “Yes, that’s why I’m cautious. I don’t want any grandkids yet.”

 “Calm down, Swan. You’re overreacting. Let the lad stay, you trust him.” She nodded and sighed.

 “I don’t know what looks worse, the Dark One, or the real thing.” Killian was looking at the crocodiles in disgust. “Look at them. Ugh.” He felt Emma’s hand hold his.

 “Tick tock, pirate. You’ve been looking at them in disgust for ten minutes.”

 “They’re just so foul.” One of them moved unexpectedly, Killian jumped. “I’ve had enough.”

  Killian trudged into the living room, the last enclosure of the day had not been a successful one. He was never going to a zoo again. Emma followed behind him, grinning like an idiot.

 “No one told you to feed the goats, hubby.” Killian had seen the petting zoo and was just as keen as Henry and Roland to feed the goats, yet he didn’t know how desperate they were. The goat had taken the bag and Killian’s fake hand with it, he couldn’t get it back, so had to walk around with his brace empty for the rest of the day. “I warned you, they’re violent.”

 “I need a bath.” He ran his hand through his hair. “This day has been too traumatic.” She laughed at how pathetic he was being, but she guessed it would be a little strange for him.

 “Oi, you.” She said, gently. He turned around. “Come ‘ere.” She opened her arms out wide for him. He smiled and hugged her tight. “I’ll run you a bath, go and relax on the couch for a bit. Then I’ll make us some pasta. How does that sound?” She smiled.

 “You treat me too well,” he snuggled into her neck. “Honestly. I’d be lost without you, I love you.”

 “I love you too, now, go on. I’ll shout you when it’s ready.”

 Killian was lying on the couch, reading a book Henry had recommended. A guy who was called Hannibal, and he was a cannibal? Henry had odd tastes, but the boy seemed excited.

“Killian!” That was his cue. He stomped up the stairs, he was ready for this bath. He walked into the bathroom, Emma was lying in his bath.

 “I think we’ve brought back one of the animals from the zoo, love. There appears to be a swan in my bath.”

 “What’s wrong, captain? Scared of a bird.” He scoffed and joined her. He lay back on her and closed his eyes. “Can I speak to you about something?”

 “Aye, lass. Anything you want.” He was feeling relaxed and Emma was running her hands through his hair.

 “It’s… well, it’s a bit awkward.” He opened his eyes. “I just want your opinion if I’m being honest. It’s no certainty or anything.” She was glad he couldn’t stare her in the face with his big blue eyes, she would never have managed.

 “I’m worried, love.”

 “Don’t be. It’s just, we’ve been married for what? Nearly two years now.”

 “Aye, our anniversary is next month. Do you want to discuss plans?”

 “Sort of… I was just wanting to know your opinion of maybe extending the family?”

 “Is there another resident in town who has appeared? Another blonde claiming to be related to you?” His voice was full of concern. She slapped him playfully over the head. “Hey!”

 “You know for someone who claims to be quite perceptive, you ain’t half an idiot sometimes! I’m talking about having a baby, Killian!” He tensed.

 “A baby?”

 “Yes. I mean, I’m not certain I want one, and I’d have to speak to Henry, but I wanted to speak to you about it. After all, you’re kind of the necessary ingredient.”

 “I would love to have a baby with you, Emma.”

 “You would?”

 “Preferably two.” He smirked.

 “Two?”

 “A boy and a girl.”

 “You’ve thought about this?”

 “Aye. For a while now.” He admitted quietly.

 “Why did you never say anything?”

 “Because I thought you were happy with Henry, that you wouldn’t want to go through pregnancy again, it was so traumatic for you the last time. I know it scares you, I’m the one who comforts you when you wake up screaming about it.”

  “Surely, if we had a baby, or two.” She smiled. “Then I wouldn’t have to experience pregnancy like that again?”

 “You would be treated like a princess… even more than you already are. I’ll be there for you through anything, Swan.”

 “I love you, Killian. Tell me.”

 “Tell you what?”

 “About our kids, I assume you’ve thought about it?”

 “You don’t need to hear it,” He was embarrassed.

 “I want to.”

 “Okay, well, if I got my own way. I’d have a little boy first. With your permission, I’d like to call him Liam after my brother.”

 “Who would he look like? Me or you?”

 “I imagine him with lighter brown hair, slightly auburn, like Liam had. A bit curly. He’d have bright blue eyes.”

 “Would he have a middle name?”

 “David.... Or Charming, whichever you prefer.” He chuckled.

 “What about our second child?”

 “She’d be a little girl, spitting image of her mother. Stubborn.”

 “Of course.”

 “Gutsy, intelligent, she’d probably have me wrapped around her little finger.”

 “No doubt about it. What would we name her?”

 “I always liked Emilia. Emilia Rose perhaps?”

 “That’s beautiful, Killian.”

 “They would never be taken to the zoo though, I’m not putting our children in harm’s way.”

 “Of course. I love you.”

 “I love you too.”

[edourado]

For my friend @handoftheassassin

Adopted

Matt has always known about Frank’s kids. He had met the kids before he met Frank, actually.

That's the thing about hanging out in parks. Kids are bound to happen. Frank Jr happened to Matt on a Saturday while he enjoyed a large cup of coffee and the sun on his face. The small boy had taken the seat by his side, politely asking “is this seat taken?” and immediately engaged him in conversation.

Matt had smiled, wondering if the child was aware of the “stranger danger” rule. Not that he was dangerous to the boy, but this is New York. Crazy people all around.

Frank would always smile and kiss him when they remembered that story.

“You didn't even know him, already you were parenting.”

Lisa had come after, telling her brother he was supposed to be looking for pebbles, and then, to Matt, “hello. I'm Lisa.”

Frank appeared a moment later, apologizing to him, a strict tone with his children, “what did I say about running off?”

Lisa ended up asking if she could draw Matt’s face, and he laughed, said “sure” while Frank told her not to bother him, but Matt assured him it was fine.

When the fact that he was blind became evident to the kids, Lisa took it upon herself to describe his own face to him while working on his portrait.

“You're very handsome, Matt”, she had said matter of factly and both him and her father laughed.

“Thank you, Lisa”, he had said. “Can you describe your face to me? I'm curious.”

When she told him about her blond hair and her green eyes and her freckles and her nose, he said she was very beautiful and she giggled, and thanked him.

It was while she did a very good job of describing her father’s face to him, was that he noticed the man’s eyes scanning his face.

“My dad is very handsome, too, all my teachers think so. I heard them talking”, the girl said.

“You did?” Frank asked, surprised, taking his eyes off Matt to look at his daughter.

“Yes”, she said, like it was no big deal. “Miss Marks said she could just eat you up. But wouldn't that make her a cannibal?”

“Ok”, interrupted Frank while Matt tried not to laugh. “How about we change-”

“And Miss Leelo said she thinks you look like a brute.”

“Oh my God.”

“And that she likes that idea. What's a brute, daddy?”

“When- where did you- how did you hear all that?”

Matt felt Lisa shrugging and then hopping off Frank’s lap to run around with her brother and the dog that had been lying at their feet.

“God”, Frank had said, chuckling, still sitting next to Matt. “What just happened?”

“She sounds very, very smart”, he commented, all his focus on the man sitting by his side. It's been less than an hour, but he could already say he agreed with Lisa’s teachers.

“I thought I was in the clear after the terrible twos.”

They ended up spending the whole afternoon together. From the park they went for a hot dog, and then to another bench, and then another park.

When they said goodbye, Matt sort of had a date.

With Frank, his kids and his dog, to a different park, the next weekend.

When, finally, they were able to meet without the small chaperones, Matt could read all that was going on in Frank’s body, and he smiled when he felt the two eyes intent on his face.

When Frank kissed him, it was after he insulted Matt’s coffee choice. They were in his apartment, with the excuse that Frank was going to borrow Matt’s boxing gloves until Frank got new ones for himself.

“It's not bad” he had said after the first taste. “But these fancy machines can only do so much.”

“And here I thought Nespresso was the best of the best.”

“Stick with me, Red”, he said, using the nickname he came up with because of the color of the lenses of his glasses. “And you'll never have another mediocre cup of coffee in your life.”

Matt had smiled, said he was taking him up on that, and then Frank took two steps towards him, planting his mouth on his, hand on the back of his neck, fingers inside his hair, making him shiver.

Matt did stick with him. And Frank kept his promise: only the best coffee from then on.

.:.

One month in, Matt met his ex-wife.

“Ah, the famous Matt my kids seem to adore” said Maria, shaking his hand. “Nice to finally put a face to the stories.”

“Mom!” exclaimed Frank Jr. “Did you know he can fight?!”

“Yes, baby, you told me.”

“He's really good. He's teaching me.”

“Oh, that reminds me”, she said, turning back to Matt. “I don't know how to thank you enough for the meditation thing. I swear, it worked wonders.”

“I'm glad it helps”, he said, feeling Frank’s arm on the back of his chair.

“Oh, it does. Bed time used to be such a fight, now it’s a breeze”

He was glad to have a good relationship with Maria. At first, he imagined it would be hard, to date a man with two kids and an ex wife, but he got lucky. Frank was the most difficult out of the four of them, with his temper and short, short fuse.

Two months and the school’s schedule was in Matt’s planner. He would pick them up on Thursdays and Fridays, sometimes with Frank, sometimes by himself.

“Oh my goodness”, he heard Frank Jr’s teacher say under her breath when she spotted him once, all the way across the playground that separated the door from the sidewalk where Matt was waiting. “Where can I find me one of those?”

He tried to keep the smile in, but Frank Jr politely and innocently answered, offering an excited “at the park!” to the rhetorical question he had overheard. “That's where we met.”

Matt pretended to be coughing in his hand in order to mask the smile that broke out.

“Oh!” Exclaimed the teacher, blushing. “That's nice, Frankie!”

If he was extra charming just to make the teacher blush a little more, nobody could tell.

.:.

After they moved in together, the place was a mess for a while. That first week, they both took Friday off work to sort out the unending number of boxes piled around the apartment. Until, after an entire morning and part of the afternoon, Frank had enough.

“Shit”, he said, dropping a lamp he had no idea why he had bought, let alone brought to the new place, back in its box. “I can't do this anymore. I'm fucking done for the day.”

Matt sighed, tired himself.

“Listen”, Frank said, sitting by his side on the floor, hand on the back of his neck, guiding Matt's face to his for a lingering kiss. “You're picking up the kids today, right?”

Matt nodded.

“How about I go with you?”, he kept interrupting himself, kissing and kissing and kissing and Matt smiled. “We’ll pick them up and then… I don't know… we’ll get some air?”

Matt let himself be kissed, angling his head, opening his mouth, hand pulling on the buckle of Frank’s belt. He nodded.

“How long do we have?”

Frank looked at his watch and came back to his mouth with renewed gusto, advancing on him until Matt was lying on the floor.

“Hour and a half.”

Christen the new living room: check.

Frank was sipping his usual coffee, talking to the dad of one of Lisa’s classmates about how they both missed their motorcycles, holding on to Max’s leash, when Matt heard Lisa’s excited voice coming down the hallway, the door still closed.

“And who’s picking you up today?” Asked the teacher.

“My dad”, the girl had said, simply, but Matt’s heart did something funny inside his chest and he found himself smiling.

She meant him. Had known he was picking her up by himself, thought Frank was going to be putting her new bed together.

“Oh!” She said when she saw both of them. “They're both here!”

Half an hour later, he was sitting at the outside table of the new burger place by the Hudson River while Frank taught the kids how to throw a baseball at the small grass field a few paces away.

“Ok, sir, here we go”, said the waitress, arriving with a tray full of food. “I got two double bacon cheeseburgers”.

“Yes, that’s his”, he said, pointing to the empty seat next to his, where Frank would sit.

“Alright”, she placed the two burgers on the table, in front of the empty chair. “One double, no bacon and no pickles?”

“That's mine.”

“Now…”, she read the check. “One chicken, salad and extra sauce?”

“My daughter”, he found himself saying without even thinking about it, that feeling in his heart spreading in his chest again.

“And… one single, bacon and cheese?”

“My son.”

His throat was not closing. He was just thirsty, that's all.

“Right. I'll pick up the rest. Five fries and four chocolate shakes, right?”

“Yes, thank you.”

“You're welcome. I'll be back in a minute.”

When she did come back, Frank and the kids were already at the table, digging in, talking over each other, exchanging bites and stealing fries, Lisa asking Matt to open her ketchup packet for her, sitting on his lap just because, head resting on his chest while she ate her chicken burger, tired, eyes far away at the water, and he wondered if it was now, a month ago or at that first meeting that he became a father.

[cosmosogler]

didn’t do much today. got up before 10:30. stumbled into the bathroom and took my meds. felt like i was forgetting some, but i took them in order and i was looking at my bedtime meds. i normally wake up on my chest but it’s so sore these days that i usually end up on my back when i put my alarm on snooze for a few minutes in the morning.

i cooked myself the other two veggie burgers for lunch, and i almost ate both of them. it seemed like my appetite was coming back a little bit. i was very lethargic all day. wasn’t focusing very hard on anything in particular. i did beat the beginner doubles battles and multi battles over the course of the day at least. so... i can start doing the more difficult challenge. the final goal would be a 200-win streak to get every item you can win, but i don’t really need the last item... i don’t think i would use it. i would just know i had it. i’ve never gotten it before. i think that’s been the grand prize since generation 3. i’ve never even seen anyone use it for anything. it’s really dependent on luck in battle and by the time it activates half the potential boosts wouldn’t be helpful.

the second to last prize doesn’t seem like that big a deal either. i’m more interested in hitting a 50-win streak. that’s when you get the stamp in your trainer passport. which is even more useless than either of the grand prizes! 

well, technically, nothing in the game helps me personally. i just do it because it’s fun. or, when it’s not fun, i can trick myself into feeling like i accomplished something.

anyway while i was flopped on my desk i managed to call the doctor and she can see me tomorrow morning. it’s even at a nice time for me. i gotta finish this prescription first though so i can stay on my “start on sunday” schedule... luckily the next few days are just sugar pills so hopefully the side effects will cool off a little bit.

i was thinking about maybe taking pictures of wiley while we’re out in the yard. i used to like taking pictures, and wiley is a really pretty dog. eve and doge don’t like the camera so i generally have to pretend i’m using my phone to text and turn off all the sound. they only notice i’m trying to take a picture if i point the lens at them. it’s kind of funny. they do it with my 3ds too since it has the lenses.

or i take pictures of them zoomed in through the window while they’re lounging in the yard. i took a really good picture of eve and doge laying together in the shade a few years ago. i’ll put it in a post. i think i’ve uploaded it before but it makes me happy to look at it.

for dinner mom and dad decided they wanted mexican food. i was crying internally because ralberto’s is so bad, but mom said she was talking about manuel’s. manuel’s is on bell road and it has THE BEST SALSA. i have never tasted better salsa in my life in any mexican restaurant i’ve been to. the only person who makes better salsa than manuel’s family is my aunt sharon. i don’t know what she puts in it but i can’t ever get enough of it. and she must make it in her bathtub because there’s buckets of it when she makes it for parties. when i’m at her house sometimes for my cousins’ birthdays i end up just sitting by the salsa tank.

i got sidetracked. the point was that i went with dad to pick up this mexican food and then i sat and ate it. i got sick right as i had the first bite of my enchilada but i forced myself to keep eating because i have been so hungry. 

while i was on the road with dad there was a song that came on the radio and dad was like, “oh man, i used to play this song all the time in my firebird.” he told me about the Good Old Days when he had a convertible and long hair and an enormous speaker set  that he kept in the back seat so he could blast this single song every time he rolled up to his friends. he said he had it on a cassette and it was the first track so he could always find it right away to put it on when he got in earshot of his friends.

i kinda looked at him and i said “i admire your dedication to having a theme song.”

then he told me that before junior year of high school for a few years he just flat out had no friends because they all started doing drugs and he didn’t want to so he stopped hanging out with them. and judging from how his brother turned out (dead) he had good reason. i didn’t know uncle jimmy very well. he had trouble following rules, i think he gets that from his mom. my dad’s like that too sometimes. he won’t do something just because you asked/told him to do it.

he was chronically homeless so we’d let him stay at our place. we’d gotten this house specifically to house long term guests. we’ve had a variety of people stay with us between houses or jobs. but uncle jimmy, he had an ancient beetle with faded blue paint, and he was always working on it. and by working on it i mean he would disappear and leave his car in our garage. it had a sticker on the window that said “skydive naked - balls out” and mom would turbo frown every time she saw it. the rule he had to follow was “don’t smoke” because dad hates the smell and also if you don’t properly dispose of the butts the dogs get into them. but that wasn’t the reason, it was mostly just because dad hated the smell and mom liked having A Rule. they probably had other arrangements that i was too young to be told about. 

he got sick. i don’t know how or with what. a heart attack? he’d always been a real bruiser, but prone to getting overweight. but he died. dad didn’t let any of us go to the funeral because his family tends to get drunk at gatherings and they often top off their reunions with a good brawl.

the point of that story was that dad grew up pretty poor but married into a rich family of basically immigrants who got lucky with their engineering degrees. but even though dad is now securely in the middle class he thinks of himself as the perpetual tough guy blue collar underdog. i think that’s why he keeps his part time job at ups, aside from the great insurance that i need to live and have depended on for 14 years since my heart surgery. he likes to come off as gruff and badass but he’s kind of, a tired old supernerd. it’s fascinating how much time he puts into cultivating his look. 

and jimmy was bigger and stronger than him! dad’s the responsible one in his family!!

but i think he still, kind of, has that attitude of, i don’t know, having to physically fight everyone that he had growing up. i don’t know how to describe it. i also am not quite sure how his political views work. he seems to be getting more moderate and also more extreme as he gets older. he’s always been a huge fan of unions, but not when they start strikes, but he hates getting screwed over by the board of directors of ups, but he supports big business because that’s what the greatest country in history was built on. like, he’s a republican in theory, but as soon as the downsides of conservative policies affect him he gets frustrated. but he also gets frustrated when people take action to get a better working environment because “things aren’t that bad.” 

hmm. it’s like, he expects things to be bad for him, because that’s his lot in life, and only whiners complain about what they’re given. he’s like that with mom too. and he’s pretty catholic and very traditional with masculinity and the nuclear family dynamic. it’s like, a self fulfilling prophecy with him. he expects things to be bad, so he reacts to everything as if he’s already in a bad place, which gets him into a bad place?

he always calls me a wuss because i’m more of a pacifist. even though i’ve been bullied and in fights before... but then he turns around and says “you’re a better person than me.” and he taught me how to fistfight effectively. it feels like his opinion of me depends on his mood.

he also laughed at me after i was working on barbara’s car with him yesterday. we went in the grocery store to get her stuff and i said i was gonna go wash my hands because they were oily and dusty. he said this is why i’m always sick and licked his fingers. i said i don’t like having dirty grease all over my fingers and i’m gonna wash it off. he said something like a little grease never hurt anyone. 

i dunno. i really don’t like having anything on my hands or face. it’s a little weird because when i do stuff like yardwork or building i have trouble getting started. but as soon as i get started i’m fine with it. until i’m not doing it any more, and then i need my hands clean immediately. it’s like swimming. i don’t want to get wet, and then when i’m in the pool or ocean i have a great time, and then when i get out of the water i want to be dry immediately and am super uncomfortable until i’ve washed my hair because it feels all grimy if i don’t at least soap it off afterward. or i get sand on my feet and don’t want to put on my shoes or walk anywhere off the beach until my feet are c l e a n. 

maybe i set myself up for failure there too. i really don’t handle germs well, immune system wise. i think my immune system didn’t develop properly because my body was always in overdrive mode with the bad heart. so i was sick literally all the time even when i had just been sick with the same strain of flu and it always takes me weeks to recover from anything. since high school i’ve started getting better and only get sick maybe three times a year in a good year. this year’s been bad so far though especially with the mysterious illness.

so i learned to keep everything clean and then i REALLY never built up my resistance to disease.

i also wash my hands every time i drive, but that’s because i have watched mother sneeze directly onto the steering wheel more than once.

i feel a little better when i’m writing my journal entries. it keeps my mind off how bad i feel physically. but then i start feeling emotionally junky when i bring up all these buried feelings and memories. 

eve seemed to be feeling much better today. she was back to walking just sort of funny, the way she’s always walked. the only time she moves her legs normally is when she’s running or prancing around. and even then she runs greyhound style, not regular dog style. so i think the odd way she carries her hind legs is more a greyhound thing than a leg thing. 

i was talking to dad about how she used to catch the birds in our backyard when she was younger. dad said she caught a lot of birds. i said that if i’d been the hunting type she would have been a beast at nabbing waterfowl. she probably wouldn’t be too good at catching rabbits though, she’s too heavyset to turn quickly enough. she’s got, like, the legs and face and ears of a greyhound, but the chest and fur and tail and feet of a black lab. so when she runs into you she hits like a truck. the birds never stood a chance. dad said the worst was when she brought birds to the door that were only half dead. 

she’s also, sort of, abnormally good at manipulating her environment, for an animal? if something’s in her way she either jumps over it or pushes it. diogi and wiley have never touched the baby gate, and if a door is cracked open they treat it like it’s closed because they see that they won’t fit through the crack. but eve hops the baby gate or tips it over, and pushes open doors, and actively tricks the other dogs. she’s not much for standing on her back legs, but if she was i probably could have taught her to flip the lights when she wanted. ping was a little bit similar, where he figured out how to open doors and he liked to push everything off the counters and all the photo frames off my dresser. but he never applied more force to anything than a tap. when we velcroed the modem to the counter he stopped tipping it over even though he could have easily gotten it if he’d pushed harder.

she also recognizes a lot of words and phrases. wiley and diogi are pretty good at that too, but eve figured out “cross here” for crossing the street during our walks and “this way” when she turned the wrong way at a fork in the road, while wiley seems to think i am babbling at him. she also picks up really fast on when you’re trying to teach a new trick to wiley and will start doing it sometimes. there’s a few tricks she doesn’t do mostly because she doesn’t like people touching her paws. she wags her tail, very tiny wags, when she’s confused.

she’s also the only animal who’s ever like, grabbed me and tried to take me somewhere. wiley grabs my arm sometimes but he usually just wants to play tug of war.

i dunno. i’ve been writing for a really long time now. i forgot to do some daily stuff in pokemon. i don’t want to leave it until i wake up... but it’s also after 1 and i want  to sleep. it’ll only take a few minutes.