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[vijay01]

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[scoobydoodean]

what is your opinion on people calling dean a heavy misogynist? i don’t agree personally but i feel like you could put my thoughts into better words

First, I have to chuckle a little at "heavy misogynist". Apparently, some people have begun to realize their fave is also guilty of misogyny crimes therefore they focus on making sure all of us know Sam is a light misogynist and Dean is a heavy misogynist. I just find that amusing.

This is a broad topic in a long show, so I won't endeavor to address every conceivable incidence of misogyny in the show I can think of. Instead, I'm going to create a few headings, at least one of which I think most criticism falls under.

Misogyny through the writing team

How Sam's misogyny gets a pass

Purity culture wank and Dean performing for Sam

How Dean actually treats women

Misogyny Through The Writing Team

First, Supernatural in of itself has issues with misogyny—as in, the writers of the show (including female writers) have issues with misogyny which they are happy to put on display semi-frequently. The show started in 2005, during a period of time where casual sexism was absolutely rampant on TV and no one thought anything about it. Female celebrities were regularly mocked and dragged on cable television in a way men simply weren't. They were called bitches and skanks and whores, and even "progressive" voices were inundated with casual misogyny and a fixation on purity culture (that largely applied to women only). Quite simply, I think fandom tends to be far too generous toward the writers, assuming certain things were "flaws" the writers intentionally wrote for the characters.

Put another way, there are some criticisms I prefer to level at the writing team rather than the characters, because what is written plainly reflects their ignorance in the real world rather than any intent to give Sam or Dean or any other character meaningful flaws—much less outright terrible ones that greatly harm their image. I'll give a few examples:

2.17 "Heart" makes me very uncomfortable as I sit here in 2024 and observe how Sam and Madison's romance develops. Me feeling that way does not mean the authorial intent of 2007 Sera Gamble was that I think to myself, "Man Sam comes off as uncomfortably rapey here." Hopelessly bad with women, perhaps—but not creepy.

In season 2, the writers begin to develop a running “joke” that Sam is afraid of not just clowns but also little people. The latter “joke” is (wisely) dropped fairly quickly. I have never criticized Sam for being afraid of little people, and I never will. It is readily apparent to me that this running "joke" reflects the ignorance of the writing team rather than an intent to give Sam meaningful or interesting flaws. Their intent was to use little people as the butt of a joke. I personally find this "joke" distasteful, and the idea of trying to take that and somehow "dunk" on Sam for the bigotry of the writers is more distasteful to me.

This is also how I feel about the running "joke" of a porn magazine and website (BAB) that solely features Asian women, that is put on display on multiple occasions during the show—first in 2.15 "Tall Tales", where the context is Gabriel infecting Sam's laptop with a virus from the website and making him believe Dean is responsible. BAB continues to make "Easter Egg" appearances in the show afterward. While often associated with Dean by fandom, the writers clearly think of BAB as a general, "funny" (it isn't), running gag with no more depth than "haha men like porn funny". An issue is stolen by a sentient teddy bear in 4.08 "Wishful Thinking". An issue is owned by the teenager who swapped bodies with Sam in 5.12 "Swap Meat". The Men of Letters also collected a considerable number of issues (8.17). I simply do not believe the writers thought for a single moment about BAB being a grossly racist gag. They most certainly did not write it as an intentional criticism of Dean from that perspective. It reflects nothing but their ignorance and racism here in the real world, and absolutely SHOULD be criticized from that REAL WORLD impact.

How Sam's misogyny largely gets a pass

One of the things I have not been able to stop noticing on this rewatch is Sam's issues with misogyny, and how often Sam's misogyny comes out in conflicts with Dean... starting from the very first episode of the show. Pretty much any time you get anything that feels like it might be a misogynist Dean or horn dog Dean moment... Sam either just has or is about to follow that up with some misogyny of his own.

In 1.01, right after entering Sam's apartment and meeting Jess, Dean mentions the Smurfs on Jess's shirt. We think to ourselves "Okay. A little misogynist... a little horn-dog Dean." Sam is happy to 1-Up that in two ways. First, Jess voices her intentions to go get dressed. Dean dismisses this, but while doing so, makes it clear he intends to leave the room with Sam, as he'd like to have a private conversation with Sam anyway. Sam objects, walking over to Jess and putting an arm around her, demanding Dean say whatever he needs to say right then and there. Maybe this would feel supportive if Jess wasn't in her underwear and hadn't just made it clear that now that the panic over a possible break-in is over, she'd really like to not be in her underwear in front of a stranger. But nope. By god she needs to stand there so Sam can prove a point about misogynist Dean! Second, Sam immediately (and I think quite erroneously) jumps to imply Dean is trying to cut Jess out of the conversation because she's... a woman? Or... something? He makes a big show of moving over Jess and standing beside her, saying anything Dean has to say, he can say in front of Jess. However, the moment Sam actually understands that Dean is here because John is missing on a hunting trip, he dismisses Jess to speak to Dean alone... because he's lying to her. By painting Dean erroneously with this "The men are talking" bullshit that had nothing to do with anything, Sam sets himself up to be viewed as a misogynist by his own framing of the situation and what it means to leave Jess out of a discussion. He also reveals his own alleged principles as a performative illusion. Despite being his intended life partner, Sam never intends to tell the woman he loves about his past as a hunter (he makes this clear later on the bridge). However, I think because Sam's actions usually co-occur with what gets called out more directly or more immediately recognized as misogyny from Dean (should have gotten him for the Smurf's comment, Sam!) Sam's misogyny often flies under the radar... and he's really... pretty bad.

I spoke here at length about how Sam tends to look down on women who interact with Dean (often before meeting them). There is absolutely an intersection with purity culture here and there's discussion in that thread about that as well, and whether this is a "2000s writers" issue or intentionally written flaws.

In 1.06, Sam cuts Dean off before Dean can accept an offered beer from Rebecca, but then as soon as Sam needs Rebecca out of the room, Sam asks her to not just bring them those beers... but also fix them sandwiches. Rebecca says, "What do you think this is, Hooters?" and Dean mumbles, "I wish" and we somehow lose sight of the fact that Sam literally just asked a woman to make him sandwiches which is possibly the number one misogynist man trope. Sam vaguely suggests Dean is a misogynist in 1.19 for nudging Sam to go on a date with Sarah Blake and possibly get information on the case, because that would be "using" her, but Sam wants to "use" Meg Masters in 1.22 and he wants to "use" Ruby to get what he wants, and when he said getting information from women was "Dean's job", he was also showing he was perfectly willing to use Dean and Sarah—he just doesn't want to get his hands dirty. It also comes to light in 1.19 that this is more about Sam's belief that he has to protect women from him, and Sarah herself ends up calling Sam antiquated for it.

I mentioned before that Sam doesn't plan to ever tell Jess who he is, and he makes the same plans with Amelia. Dean, meanwhile, confides in Cassie (it's what leads to their breakup) as well as Lisa.

I also have to mention... one of the funniest things I see deancrit samgirls in particular dig at time after time after time is Dean calling women "bitches". Never mind that Sam also calls women like Ruby and Bela bitches and calls a woman a bitch in front of Madison. Apparently none of these occurrences count because... *looks at notes* reasons. "Bitch" only counts as misogyny when it's Dean saying it. Also, let's not mention that Sam exclusively uses the word "bitch" to refer to women, while Dean also calls men and creatures bitches at different points so it isn't a gender specific insult for him.

Dean is definitely the "heavy" misogynist here... right? (I guess Sam is a "tall" misogynist instead).

Purity culture wank and Dean performing for Sam

Dean is commonly treated in fandom as if he's some kind of sex pest, and quite blatantly... he isn't one. Women almost always proposition Dean first (thejabberwock has sets on this here and here), but him asking people out also isn't inherently creepy in any way? Co-occurring with Sam's purity culture inundated judgements, we often see fandom's own as well, where Dean is some kind of sex pest because he... likes women? Or... because he has sex with consenting women who also want to have sex with him? Sometimes it's giving purity culture wank, sometimes it's given big radfem energy... but regardless, I sometimes see people talk about Dean like him so much as making eye contact with a woman is a violent sexual threat, and that's just laughable—as is denying the agency and autonomy of consenting women in general.

Even though it doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things, I'll also add that Dean... doesn't even actually have sex with the frequency that people talk about it? Dean has sex with Cassie—who was a long term partner of his in 1.13. He has sex with an actress in 2.18, and with Doublemint twins in 3.01. He has sex with a waitress 4.05. He plans to have sex with someone in 3.04, but turns her down when he realizes she's a prostitute who's working. This happens again in 10.07. I'm on season 4 of my rewatch and haven't been formally keeping up... but Dean is not actually having a lot of sex? We get implications he's been out partying a few times, and can maybe infer he scored, but we don't actually know.

I'm not a huge fan of performing Dean, in the sense that I think over the years I have seen it wildly overstated far too many times. But I do think Dean sometimes plays a character for Sam especially. Dean tells us this himself in 2.03 "Bloodlust" when confiding in Gordon. He never says so directly when it comes to the sexy sex guy doing sex persona, but his actions reveal him. One can think of plenty of examples of Dean saying horny stuff about women to Sam... but what about his actions?

How Dean actually treats women

Finally, there's how Dean actually treats women... and one would be very hard pressed to prove to me that Dean is sexist toward the women in his life. He's been close friends with multiple women and worked with women on hunts on multiple occasions and never once batted an eye. Jo in 2.06 is sometimes floated as an example, but it's actually discussed within the episode. Dean makes it very clear that he thinks women can do the job just fine. What he has a problem with is Jo's lack of experience and her romanticization of the job (especially during a period where Dean has fallen deeply out of love with the job himself). Everything we see as the series progresses supports Dean's assertion as truth. He's very good friends with Charlie, Jody, and Donna and doesn't go around excluding them on hunts while favoring men. That is not a thing that happens. While he initially tries to talk Claire out of the life (as he does everybody—this is not unique to women—see Adam for example) when she decides to hunt, he supports her regardless. There is nothing uniquely overprotective about how Dean treats women who hunt. End of. Dean has no illusions about traditional gender roles or any of that nonsense, jumping to clean dishes after dinner at Jody's and cooking breakfast for Lisa and Ben. (Our knowledge of Dean and the chores he does for his family already tell us this—but regardless). Even Demon Dean, an entity with no love for anyone and close to zero principles, targeted men who abuse and threaten women, and when Crowley ordered him to kill Lester's wife to fulfill the terms of Lester's demon deal, Demon Dean instead became so deeply annoyed with Lester's hypocrisy (he cheated on his wife first) and his assertion that it's different when men cheat, that he killed him and smiled while doing it.

So anyway, nope—I don't think Dean is a "heavy" misogynist.

[cleapallea]

master list + More

𐙚 𝗘𝗠𝗣𝗧𝗬 𝗣𝗟𝗔𝗡𝗘𝗧𝗦𐙚

& how you can make income! 🤑

Is empty house means empty wallet?

There are 12 sectors (zodiac sign + house) in astrology that reflect different aspects of your life. At this point, if you have planets in 12 houses, a planet being in that house as well as the rulers means you should have more focus in that area. For example, too many planets (2) in a tenth house with Venus aspects or rulers (Taurus and Libra) signifies that your career might be related to Venus qualities such as modeling, rebranding, or makeup (products, tutorials, etc.). Hence, I know some of you might ask: So what to do if none?

Empty Planet in 1st house

Aries: self image, rebranding and investing

Empty Planet in 2nd house

Taurus: depends on your own efforts. Kinda Similiar to 1st.

Empty Planet in 3rd House

Gemini: Person's activity, and investment (education, training and self development -professional)

Example: Graphic Designer, Artworks related, Freelance writer and etc

Empty Planet in 4th house

Cancer: Anything related to fostering homes, and building connections (social network)

Example: adopting a dog (female), and let them grow after that you can sell her puppies. Or you can build a pets/ poultry suppliers.

Empty Planet in 5th house

Leo: Anything related to pleasure, wholesome stuff, makes you happy and alive, self-expression, recreation, and innovation.

Example: Build a program (school, playground, or be a Yaya for a day) and alike

Empty Planet in 6th house

Virgo: anything related to health, wellness, and daily routines

Example: Be secretary, write a blog about health and wellness, Be a Yoga instructor, or Drugs Cashier in some malls, teacher and more.

Empty Planet in 7th house

Libra: anything related to partnership, business and interest in society as a whole.

Example: Be an event planner, teacher, or social media influencer starts to sell your self in social media.

Empty Planet in 8th house

Scorpio: money houses, long term success or growth career, real state investments and financial portfolios

Example: rentals of your personal collection like shoes, etc.

Empty Planet in 9th house

Sagittarius: Travel, higher learning, personal philosophy, exploration and intellect

Example: You may consider writing a story or list of quotes on a known website and look for a small publisher until you get recognized. You can also Teach foreign ppl in diff countries to use other languages.

Empty Planet in 10th house

Capricorn: public image, career aspiration and achievement, and more on ppl oriented.

Example: vlogger, streamer, content creator, YouTuber and alike

Empty Planet in 11th house

Aquarius: humanitarian and personal networks. Anything that may show your passion and interest in specific content.

Example: musician, or be friends with famous people (they can help you a lot), then let them see your talents. I've known a lot of Aquarius placements tend to be very talented. You just have to precise and be stick with good purpose cause double karma occurs if you're not.

Empty Planet in 12th house

Pisces: Mysterious side of humanity, mind, and life

Example: be a tarot reader, practice gambling, or any creative outlets.

✎ There are no such things as empty planets. The empty planets are ruled by the "lord" or "zodiac signs" inside them. Although I don't really believe it's not your main focus but more in IT'S YOUR HIDDEN GOAL AND SUCCESS, I've heard a lot of women who have their second house empty, but years later become rich due to partnerships, investments in education, and such. We have this called "transitting of each sign."

✎ take note that this is not a dynamic and astrology is about multifaceted interpretation. The question of where and what you can do to make money can vary depending on the whole system of your chart (aside from your energy). For me, I need to see the whole birth chart before I give the exact meaning of it. Every chart is different, so I can't provide full, detailed information about it.

✎You have to look for your MC (signs), Jupiter house +signs (power), Saturn (warnings/challenges occur) and Moon placed (for reminder why you started, why you need to work something like that) if you don't like your moon, then look for your south code. Or if you dont know how to start, look for the (Pluto). Find inspiration in everything :) God bless!

Plagiarism is A crime.

[felassan]

Snippets. 🐺💜

For Game Informer’s July 17th DA:TV article, "BioWare On Returning To The Dragon Age Series, 10 Years After Inquisition", the article is still titled as such on its own page, but it looks like on the GI DA:TV Hub page its listing was updated to "Dragon Age: The Veilguard Is 'Respectful And Referential' To Previous Games Without Making Them Mandatory"

[previous comment for context - Brenon: "we do have "decision saves" before big choice moments, but there are still a bunch that depend on a whole mess of stuff you've done earler...so yeah...RIP"]. Derek on this: "Choice and consequence, baby." [source]

[context: DA official Twitter's news about what's coming in August] Derek: "Buckle up!" [source]

Bryony Corrigan (Rook) on the strike: "I care a lot about this game! @/dragonage. Gutted we are unable to speak more about the game for now but absolutely in solidarity with actors in the US. I hope @/EquityUK are also fighting for better protection against AI clauses in the UK too…!" [source]

Matt Rhodes recently wrote to his mailing list that "The project I’ve been working on for many years is nearing completion. In my rare free moments, I’ve been starting to organize concept art to start posting after the game ships." [source] So it sounds like DA:TV is nearing completion and that he will be posting DA:TV concept art that he created after release. [This] is the link to his website where you can view his art, including some existing DA:TV and previous DA game concept art. If you click the envelope symbol on this page, that's how you can subscribe to the mailing list

from Community Councilmember Ladyinsanity - Lucanis x Rook apparently might be an "angst pairing" and there's maybe another one of these in the game also...? 👀 [source]

A user mentioned that they aren't keen on the word "roadmap". Michael Gamble explained: "all it means is a list of cool things you can expect to see us showing." [source]

Bellara's family name Lutare wasn't recently changed as some users wondered, it was Lutare at least a year ago during development. It seems it was just mis-printed or mis-reported in the GI coverage [source]

This article describes DA:TV as the most beautiful game the writer saw at SGF. It says the prologue is dated 9 years after DA:I. "Varric isn’t a ginger so much as a grizzled gray fox now". On Solas, he "wants to tear down the Veil that separates Thedas from the world of demons, restoring his people’s immortality and glory and sacrificing thousands in the process. But when his ritual goes awry, two of his most ancient and powerful adversaries are released. They seek only to finish what they started millennia ago – the complete and utter domination of our world." The game moves quite seamlessly from action to cutscene, and in the prologue "every cutscene is clearly building toward something larger". Position matters in combat. There is an accessibility option which involves the path-tracing of enemies' ranged attacks. At the beginning of the demo, the devs mentioned that they thought about the way different lighting affects your character. " The animations associated with combat are complex for one reason: responsive character features." CC has "inclusion of thick curly hair and capturing the tightly curled texture of Black hairstyles and natural hair", customizable shoulder-width and "a much-welcomed broad spectrum of skin tones—capturing both cool and warm undertones of both white and brown skin". The article highlighted the fluid movement of cloth. The writer also said, "I’m sure other Summer Game Fest previews will have a lot to say on the evolving relationship between Varric and Solas". [source] ((I don't remember seeing this article til now, it's from June though so I either missed it or have seen it and forgotten. also I don't know how accurate it is but the writer was one of the attendees of the DA:TV demo at SGF))

[character limit text break!]

Malcolm: "When I joined DA:Ve I was really hoping there'd be a romanceable dwarf companion and boy howdy did that come true. Harding is ☀️delightful☀️" [source]

[context: this Tumblr post of some neat art] Malcolm: "This is amazing and I fully went "oh wow that really sounds like Emmrich" before remembering that Nick Boraine is in fact a entire human person." [source]

User: "Speaking of Stalker, as a player the description of Bellara and Veil Jumper i've heard so far, alongside their exploration of Arlathan, somehow reminds me of Clear Sky and Chornobyl in Stalker series..." John Epler: "great eye! roadside picnic, Annihilation and STALKER were all absolutely inspirations" [source]

John Epler: "time to slowly make my way home after an awesome 4 days. thanks for an amazing experience to everyone who was a part of it. back to work." [source]

User: "We know there are returning characters in The Veilguard, so my question is: How would you and the rest of the writers go about writing a returning character who was originally primarily written by a writer who is no longer at the studio? What is the process?" Trick Weekes: "1. Watch videos to get the performance, how the character speaks. 2. Don’t try to replicate the character exactly. Allow them to have grown. Morrigan in DAI wasn’t Morrigan in DAO. She’d grown up. 3. Trust Character Art and Performance/VO. As soon as Morrigan walks in and talks in DAI, it works." [source]

Ali Hillis (Harding) on Twitter: "@dragonage @/bioware @/BioWarePulse @/ea #/DragonAge #/SDCC #/SDCC2024 FOLLOW ON INSTA FOR MORE!" [source]

Alex Jordan (Rook): "To all the D&D loving Dragon Age fans out there, let me tell you about my D&D group, made up of faces from the games industry! Including the voices of Geralt from The Witcher, Clive from Final Fantasy XVI, and Noah from Xenoblade! We are ⁦@/NaturalSix ⁩#/DragonAge" [source]

Erika Ishii (Rook): "Grateful I got to spend SDCC celebrating my roles in 2 games I love. Thank you to the devs (including laid-off workers who deserve full credit!), my friends, and the community. This is the last you’ll hear from me about my games from struck companies until they sign an interim agreement or the strike is won. Keep playing games, but share info from the union and let people know we’re taking a stand for all creatives. See you on the other side! ✊🏼🎮" [source]

Jeff Berg (Rook): "Damn, I love making video games. It’s like the perfect blending of theatre on film, where an actor is encouraged to collaborate and let their imaginations soar. And damn, do I ever love the incredible support from the fans of this incredible medium. Unfortunately, we’re in a time of upheaval in the industry. So let me make it perfectly clear: Video game performers deserve fair wages, safe working conditions and A.I. protections. I call on the employers to #/LevelUpTheContract. Guys, this is no single player game. We need you on our team. #/SagAftraStrong #/VideoGameStrike". Text in the accompanying video reads “Video game performers are stuck in a grind. AI is stealing voices, and companies are hoarding profits. The future of voiceover and performance capture artists is at stake. But out fight isn’t single-player. Whether you’re a gamer, a fan, a performer, a labor ally, or just someone believes in fairness. Keep video games people powered. We need you on our team. Video game companies must offer AI protections to ALL video game performers. Join me and show your support for those who bring our favorite games to life.” [source]

Jessica Clark (Neve): "Aaah a true bucket list moment!! Thrilled to play Neve Gallus a Private Investigator & one of the companions in the upcoming DragonAge The Veilguard Video Game!! We are appearing at the San Diego Comic Con as we speak!! With so much thanks & appreciation for the most fantastic team @/bioware & inspiring fellow cast members including (not limited to) @/missalihillis @/nickboraine @/zach.mendez @/jeffberg1 & more 🙏🏽 Draon Age The Veilguard releases this Fall 2024 & from what I've seen... It's truly epic!! You will love it & yes, it's worth the wait. (SAG-AFTRA issued us a specific window to promote & celebrate at Comic Con & from Sunday night onwards we will all be joining our fellow actors in the picket line for the Video Game Strike)." Text in the accompanying video reads "I’ve wanted to share this for so long! Thrilled to reveal that I play Neve Gallus in the upcoming Dragon Age The Veilguard!! Appearing at Comic Con San Diego as we speak” [source]

[source]

Jessica: "Last night's Comic Con San Diego's Fandom red carpet celebrating Dragon Age The Veilguard! Releasing this Fall 2024!!" [source]

Zach Mendez (Lucanis): "A truly amazing first day of SD Comic Con at the @/dragonagegame poster signing at @/darkhorsecomics booth. Thank you to the fans who made my first con unforgettable #/sdcc /#sdcomiccon #/dragonage #/darkhorsecomics #/lucanisdellamorte #/voiceacting #/bioware #/eagames #/theveilguard #/babysfirstcon" [source]

Zach: "Dragon Age. Dancing. Derulo. Thanks @/fandom for a killer party" [source]

Nick Boraine (Emmrich): "Thank you @/bioware @/ea and @/comic_con - had an incredible time! #/dragonage #/theveilgaurd #/emmrichvolkarin @/zach.mendez @/missalihillis @/thejessicaroseclark - can’t wait for the fall release date." [source]

Ali: "Honored and thrilled to have been a part of another epic @/bioware story w @/ea . Thanks from the bottom of my heart to the whole team! We worked hard, and put our all into this one. Can’t wait to see you all at #/sdcc2024 this week to celebrate @/dragonagegame #/dragonageveilguard" [source]

Ali: "1st day of San Diego Comic Con 2024 !! The lines were long and the signings so much fun! Met some really nice fans, hung out w dragon age performance director @/ashley___barlow , companions @/thejessicaroseclark @/zach.mendez & Nick Boraine . So SO grateful for this #/dragonageveilguard family!" [source]

Ali: "I love every one of these people. There, I said it! What a warm welcome we received! Thanks to ALL! For EVERYTHING!" [source]

Ali on SDCC: "Gooooooood times. ❤️" [source]

Here is a 'behind the scenes at the DA:TV SDCC panel' photo -

[source]

Here is a photo of Erika Ishii with Rook's blue knife -

[source]

Here is an excerpt from Brianne Battye's website:

Text reads: "Dragon Age: The Veilguard Defy the gods. Rise as Rook, Dragon Age’s newest hero. Be who you want to be and play how you want to play as you fight back and lead your team of seven companions, each with their own rich story. Together, you will become the Veilguard. Coming soon From EA/BioWare. I was responsible for a companion story arc, significant side characters, faction content, exploration content, and helping develop and expand worldbuilding lore."

[source]

Also, last year Zach Mendez (Lucanis) made a prior podcast appearance:

Zach: "I was lucky enough over the pandemic to have just hit a really nice commercial, and then I got this beautiful job on a video game where I was doing motion capture. Motion capture? Okay, so you put on this leotard, this black suit, and those little dots on, and you do all the motion for a video game, and you get to do the voice, and they put all these black lines on your face, so they capture your performance and whatnot. And so I was doing that and had some commercial money, so throughout the pandemic, for the past few years, I’ve just been getting to live off acting, which is great." -- Zach: "[Voiceover is] what I'm working on right now." -- Zach: "My father's from Spain." -- Zach: "I'm currently working on a video game, I can't say which video game." "It is a big one, it's not a big deal, it's a big one, I'm one of the main characters, it's not that big a deal." The interviewer asked about how acting in video games works. "Somebody's giving some performance that of course, they layer on imaging afterwards, like in graphics, right? But you're giving facial expressions, that's what gives it the reality, that's what I find so fascinating about motion capture, is that, you get to give big performances, because you're playing these crazy characters in crazy situations, and a lot of your performance is coming through in the final product which is, just gets me excited about the future of things about all the different ways. It's my voice, a lot of my facial features, I voice, I think, one or two characters in this game."

[source (dated ~a year ago. source link isn’t work-appropriate. I don’t recommend the podcast)]

[aayakashii]

Feel free to not read cuz this is too long

I know some people might not care but I need to take it out of my chest. I remember weeks ago, probably a month or more ago someone posted/ reblogged a drawing of Haru and Taiga as idols I think? Well I've been listening to Jin Ogasawara (Taiga's VA) and wanted to find out more of his music and came across some kind of music project called Magatsunote. Last night my sister and I were going through some info of this project and listening the characters' voices and of course Jin appears (my guess is that he likes giving voice to crazy characters because you can hear Taiga's voice when talking like crazy or people think his voice is the perfect fit for this type of guys) he voices a character named Hideyoshi. After listening to the other characters we heard a similar voice to Haru and we both looked at each other and said he sounds just like Haru (my sister also has Tokyo Debunker) and screamed of excitement when we found out it was him. Masamu Ono (Haru's VA) voices a character named Sasuke. I don't know much about all the characters because there wasn't much information on the official website but I think they are demons because they have horns…..? Sorry I was in a rush when looking for more information because I was busy with other stuff but will find out more if anyone wants me to. Don't know if they took Taiga as a reference/ inspiration for Hideyoshi because they have some things in common for example gambling, the only difference is that Hideyoshi likes women and we all know Taiga loves Romeo. (Not a fan of BL but I think it's obvious that the reason Tokyo Debunker isn't an otome game is for everyone including developers to ship the guys.)

Anyways if you read everything thank you for taking the time to read it all and sorry for making this very long just got excited here.

Anon name Koko or Coco (not my username of course just an Anon nickname?)

Anon!!!! I 100% understand your excitement because I am obsessed with finding out abt seiyuu (voice actors)!!! I've watched a little bit of Magatsunote because of them too and Sasuke (Haru's va's character) is so adorable 😭 he's a little brat and kinda whiny and it's so cute, I love it ;-;<3

I've talked abt some seiyuu stuff here!!! And in some other random posts

If you're interested in more seiyuu stuff, Haku's seiyuu voices Kabru in Dungeon Meshi (!!!!!!!!); Ren's seiyuu is actually quite famous and he voices Kou from Toilet Bound Hanako-kun, Sigma from Bungou Stray Dogs and Tahoumaru from Dororo (but if you wanna hear him sing: he voices Rokuta from Paradox Live); Subaru's seiyuu voices Rikai from Charisma House and 💀💀💀💀💀💀 someonw from Yarichin Bitch Club but you didnt hear this from me

Uuuhhhh let me think... Wataru Komada (Tohma) and Hirose Daisuke (Towa) are the most famous I think. Tohma voices Jade and Juuto from Twisted Wonderland and Hypnosis Mic, respectively. And Towa voices Tenma Tsukasa from Project Sekai and Ikaru from A3!

There are so many other voice actors who probably do small appearances in anime and otome games that I can't find much information about 😭 but you've tickled the hyperfixation monster, I've lost count of how many stuff I've watched because I liked the seiyuu LMAO anyways if you find any other seiyuu appearances, let me know!!!!!!!!!

[mitigatedchaos]

I've been doing some conceptual sketching over the last several weeks, chewing on the limited technology zones idea that I've been working on. (It's not just an excuse for fictional detectives.)

Rather than proposing a single solution, this post covers some of that thinking, to provide you with concepts to chew on.

The Medieval1900/1960s/1990s/2010s/+ tech zone poll was based on a general sense regarding the speed of movement and the speed of information, and noticing that in the year 2000, "the Internet" was still a place you went to (by sitting down at your computer), and not a cyberspace layer that surrounds the planet.

But what, exactly, would "1990s/Y2K computer limits" cash out to? 800x600 pixel resolutions? 800MHz processors?

Just what was this mysterious "it factor" we would be trying to bring back by making computers slower and less advanced?

From my notes:

One way to view virtual reality is that the VR environment has extremely low weight, and is therefore extremely mutable. Any physical good, such as a sports car, can be simulated, and in almost any number, which raises a question: why buy a real sports car when we can simulate them? People are at risk of getting lost in virtual reality, with simulations becoming more satisfying to them than real life, leading them to underinvest in their real life. We can think of technology as altering the ratio of effort to environment change. High effort is required to move dirt with a shovel. Low effort is required to move the same volume of dirt with a bulldozer.

The assumption behind the zones-by-tech-level question is that beyond a certain point, except for medical technology, additional high-tech development is superfluous, because virtual reality means that nearly arbitrary sensory experiences can be generated relative to an agent's sense limits.

Demand results when the expected value of a change in the environment loops back through the agent, resulting in a potential change in behavior.

The point of video games is to produce a high stimulus feedback relative to the amount of effort. (I read that in an article on GamaSutra once years ago, and it really stuck.)

In a virtual reality environment, reward signals can become disconnected from agent well-being.

Movies, television, and books appear to be less addictive than video games and social media. What separates them? Interactivity appears to be the primary difference.

With this in mind, I was then able to work backwards and develop an intermediate regulatory concept: interaction frames.

With a book, the content is static the entire time. With a DVD, you press a button and then the DVD may play to completion. You might skip back to a previous scene, but there is no need for further interaction.

A paged website is static until you update the page. With continuous-scroll social media, new content is always being added, and at any moment you may receive a notification to get into an argument or that someone liked your post. Video games in general tend to have continuous interaction.

This model does not adequately address the situation, and, importantly, cannot distinguish between a video game and a spreadsheet program like Microsoft Excel.

We can adapt a concept from gambling: human beings seek mastery or identification of patterns, and the randomness of gambling prevents mastery of the pattern from being achieved. A spreadsheet is very much not random, while loot drops in many video games are quite random!

We could at least measure commands to produce random numbers, or require registration of pseudorandom number generators.

However, this is still insufficiently general. Simulator games may generate complex behavior from simple rules. Are we stuck regulating "game-like elements" by committee? That doesn't sound right.

Still, people do get bored of single-player games, either by mastering the gameplay, or when they get used to the story elements of the game. A visual novel is more like a spreadsheet or a book than like a slot machine.

Also, not all social media seems to be equally addictive. Why were chatrooms seemingly less dangerous than twitter?

There is an anticipation of information gain (informative tweets). There is an anticipation of exciting experiences (someone shows up to fight!). Also, from the user's perspective, it's somewhat random.

In a chatroom, there are fewer people, and they stay for longer. This means that (1) you have more information about them and their positions, (2) you have more incentive to be cordial, and (3) because there is a limit to how much they can have gotten up to while you weren't looking, there is a limit on the anticipated amount of new social information.

On Twitter, there is an endless stream of new people to argue with, and they can show up at any time. You can post about some chalupas you made yesterday, and some lunatic will show up to fight you. Thus, there is always the background anticipation of an (emotionally stimulating) attack.

In a chatroom, if someone would attack you over chalupas, you already know him as the chalupa guy. In real life, an argument is limited by space and time - the chalupa argument ends by default when the bar closes and the chalupa guy is no longer within earshot, and you cannot reopen it until you see him again.

Tumblr is slower-paced, but things like "likes" are continuous, so there is always the incentive to check in to see how your post is doing.

This allows us to get into a model based on food.

There is a dieting strategy involving not buying junk food at the store, so that it is not at your house when you get a craving for it.

This implies that the craving is a temporary impulse or peak, and that it just has to be outlasted. If the craving were uniform, the strategy wouldn't work, because the dieter would just buy the junk food at the store.

(This suggests that the baseline craving for drugs is higher, because drug addicts are willing to take much more extreme actions to feed their addictions, over a longer time period, and that the symptoms for withdrawal (a more constant negative stimulus) are worse.)

So is control in the hands of the agent, or is it in the environment? Is there choice, or not? The dieting strategy appears to split the difference - removing junk food from the cupboard is a kind of prosthetic self-control and willpower shifting. Willpower exists and can be exercised, but is limited, and reserves vary over time. Altering the environment at a point of high willpower can reduce willpower requirements in later contexts, until they are within the window of reliable feasibility.

This suggests a strategy of altering the digital environment to enable users to act on meta-preferences for prosthetic self-control.

For social media services, this suggests regulations imposing new usage modes. For example, it might be required to provide access to third-party user interfaces, which might do things like hide the number of likes. Alternatively, a user might receive all the tweets from a specific set of accounts as a daily summary. Since social media companies require revenue, this access might be a paid service based on average foregone ad revenue. It's a matter that would require a good deal more consideration.

For other items, as part of a broader social movement, we might imagine users being able to buy dedicated hardware. Attempting to control interactivity via software requires a great deal more regulation and is easier to bypass. By contrast, we might imagine a hardware module that writes to a virtual canvas at some rate. The user could then scroll the canvas without receiving updates until the next refresh.

The user could buy an appliance device with built-in limits, similar to not bringing junk food home from the store.

Regarding welfare...

If social media makes people insane, then refraining from social media is pro-social, but suffers from a coordination problem.

However, that's more speculative. More broadly, this is about the liberal concern of consent under capitalism, and what it means to consent to technology. There are two considerations, in tension.

If you have to either use a technology or be homeless, then can you really have been said to have "consented" to the technology?

On the other hand, why should everyone else be expected to subsidize some guy using a horse and buggy?

Maximization of pattern efficiency is likely to be hostile to the continued existence of the human species, not that differently from how hard drugs distort and kill people. On the other hand, insufficient pattern efficiency means reduced production, which may mean making hard moral choices and having wasteful suffering that could have been avoided.

(Regulated capitalism is actually pretty good about consent relative to production levels, compared to say, feudalism or command economies.)

The conventional liberal response is a universal basic income - this neatly ties up many questions of consent by removing the greatest point of leverage - but this is problematic, as it involves redistributing labor to able people who may not be working at all. I've been working on an alternative based on "universal basic land," but I'm not satisfied with it yet. The essential idea is that land and materials are scarce, while labor (directed effort) and capital (configurations of materials) are variable. If life support (sunshine, air, food, water) is guaranteed, then trade is a net benefit (rather than resulting in potential gradual loss of life support due to lack of leverage).

[birdgee]

unrelated to anything but thinking about how horrible roblox is. not the games themselves mostly or the idea, ive spent thousands of hours at this point on that website, but the fucking moderation. Anyone i know who has played at some point has had some kind of horrible experience. me and so many others have been groomed on there. pedophiles have preyed on so many children on there and caused so much harm. and the company doesn't care at all, they only care if they lose money. makes me sick. Not to mention the gambling issue in every popular game, genuinely setting kids up to have addictions in the future, or how greedy 90% of the development teams are. theres so many amazing games and artistic projects but i get a pit of dread whenever im on the website.

[lleeckina]

w88 Casino is an online casino dedicated to player freedom and developer creativity. Their games are regularly updated, giving their users new and thrilling experiences. w88 offers an unrivaled gaming experience with top-of-the-line prize money and secure transactions. Furthermore, this company advocates responsible gambling by encouraging players to set deposit limits and seek assistance if their gambling becomes problematic. Want to know more about w88 login? Click here or visit our website.

[colettescorner]

miss yooko sent me here to this cringe website,now I have back mail on you<3

I take cash or card~

•*•*•*•*•*•*•*• HI!!! This is a BSD rp blog~ my OCS name is Collette Èpine she’s 14-15 but I personally think dark humor is hilarious unless it’s like…..ew.

MTBI: ENTP

Ability: not developed yet-but it’s called curse of the holy and she can essentially make things like abilities and weaponry boosted for as long as she wants leaving glowing swirls/tattoos along the surface of the affected area….but her physical body is weaked each time she uses it and essentially if she dies the swirls turn black.

More info: she grew up in the slums (kinda where the sheep were active in 15!) but she was really poor and in lots of financial debt because her mother was a teen mom who passed early in her life (her mom was also a French immigrant) making her illegitimate and basically having a target on her at all times-forcing Collette into illegal gambling and street racing until she was 13 and then yooko found her.

birthday: September 29th 2009

family?: her father was never found nor are there any records of one on birth certificate or otherwise….however there is a rumor of a few candidates.

other things?: she is a VERY picket eater and is extremely afraid of gaining weight…she’s physically very weak but she’s very very smart and has a lot of common sense.

voice claim: Fischl (Genshin impact)

beast: in beat dazai accidentally kills Collette in front of yooko,chuuya-etc-leaving black swirls on most of the port mafias arms as a reminder of her death from her ability.

*•*•*•*•* refrecnce pic of Collette until I get done with my drawing of her-from picrew!

——

{ooc: I made a playlist for her :3}

{ooc; mood board}

Poll

[sky--casino]

all of those “visit (whatever website)(whatever app) now and start winning money!!!!” for like. slots or other gambling things online or in an app because it’s far easier to rig for the player to just lose money instead, it’s just a few lines of code and factors that is so easy to manipulate as a developer to avoid someone from getting a jackpot.

They’re even more of a money grab than an actual casino or something similar. It’s quite silly.

[ulisesbarreiro]

Educational talk at the wonderful Esseri school in La Plata

In the area of the city of La Plata, there is a great school, very modern and with very noble values, with which they educate their children, this is the Esseri School, where its directors, and the rest of the school community, are busy preparing their school community to be prepared from all aspects for the complex social and economic world that is coming for the new generations.

Thus, from a financial perspective, an extracurricular talk was organized for students of Esseri High School, where Jose Iadiccico (CEO of ADA Solar) and Ulises Barreiro (CEO of Token Mithrandir), shared in 120 minutes, very interesting topics on financial education and where students were focused on the dangers of gambling, with digital platforms such as online casinos, trading, soccer betting house, etc.. On the other hand, tips were given, and key concepts for these students to develop the concept of “Financial Intelligence”, concepts that every good person should have already internalized inside in the XXI world, in order to live with prosperity and quality of life. Martín Bitelmajer (Chess Master and chess trainer), who has a great international experience as a chess player, gave a talk to the students of the Esseri elementary school.

These educational talks given by ADA Solar and Token Mithrandir are part of the Amon Project, which focuses on touring educational and social communities, and to bring some light on Decentralized Finance. To the future generations that will need it so much. Giving classes on financial education has several significant advantages, which bring great added value to all future citizens who will go out into the world of work when they finish school:

Improves decision-making: Helps students make informed decisions about their money, which can lead to better management of their personal finances.

Promotes responsibility: Promotes responsible saving and consumption habits, teaching students to live within their means.

Debt prevention: By understanding concepts such as interest, credit and savings, students can avoid falling into unnecessary debt.

Preparing for the future: Gives them tools for long-term planning, such as investment and retirement planning.

Critical skills development: Builds math and analytical skills by working with budgeting, investment and cost analysis.

Confidence building: Gives students the confidence to manage their finances and cope with economic situations.

Contribution to society: A financially educated population can contribute to a more stable and sustainable economy for its entire environment, and for the rest of that society's economic environment.

For all these concepts, we congratulate the educational authorities of this school, who opened their doors to allow us to meet their school community, and to transmit our knowledge on this subject. For more information about the educational offer provided by the Esseri school, we leave you their website. https://colegioesseri.com.ar/

Warm greetings Mithrandir Community

[archoneddzs15]

PC Engine - Strider Hiryu

Title: Strider Hiryu / ストライダー飛竜

Developer: Capcom / Dice Creative Co. Ltd.

Publisher: NEC Avenue

Release date: 22 September 1994

Catalogue No.: NAPR-1041

Genre: Platform Action

Format: Arcade Card CD-ROM2

Not many arcade games before Strider Hiryu managed to immerse the player into a world that felt both cohesive and genuinely exciting. The attention to detail was superb and the levels were particularly imaginative - the game just sprinted from one memorable moment to the next. Yes, as you can tell, Strider was one of my favorite arcade games as a child. So, what about this PC Engine conversion? Well, the game is very disappointing - after brilliant ports such as Forgotten Worlds and Daimakaimura, NEC Avenue didn't really deliver the goods with this one (and they were late at that!). NEC Avenue lost the Strider console war to Sega and their in-house port of Strider to the Mega Drive.

The exclusive and added content is awesome - the extra level is average but adds a nice touch to the game, the remixed soundtrack is great (mostly) and the cutscenes add depth to the original story. However, the animation is not really as smooth as anticipated, and the game is plagued with slowdowns and sprite flickering. I also can't really put my finger on it, but the controls feel less responsive overall. Because of all the added content, I still recommend any Strider fan picking this conversion up (the game has now become a rather pricey collector's item though...)

Interestingly, this PC Engine port was made by the Japanese developer Dice Creative. Their website states that the company was created in response to a request for third-party outsourcing by Satoru Iwata (Manager of Development of HAL Laboratory at the time and former president of Nintendo). They first released the gambling game Vegas Stakes/Las Vegas Dream (Super Famicom, 1993) and Strider for the PC Engine followed in 1994. This is rather strange if you take into consideration that Dice only developed "low-profile" games for Hal Laboratory and other companies, such as Adventure of Lolo (Game Boy), Itoi Shigesato no Bass No.1 (Nintendo 64), and Sega Rally (GBA). Strider was the only PC Engine game they ever made. How did they end up inheriting NEC Avenue's Strider project? However, all of this partly explains why Strider looks underpar compared to other NEC Avenue games.

You may have noticed that it was released in 1994 - five years after the original arcade game, and four years after the Sega Mega Drive version. So, what happened? It seems that original work began on a SuperGrafx HuCard version in 1990 - but, apparently, the failure of the system forced NEC Avenue to make a CD-ROM version instead (it seems that the choice of the Arcade Card came later). Although the incredible delay is explainable, various pictures appeared in Japanese magazines around 1990 arguably "showing" images of the game in action. Indeed, the images do show differences from the original arcade game (they could be pictures taken from an arcade beta version though). In any case, this was enough to start a rumor mill among PC Engine fans, and this subject remains a topic of controversy, still to this day. But we should take all of this with a grain of salt - several urban legends have become part of the Strider SuperGrafx story, and I won't mention them here. But something is sure - to this day, nothing rules out the existence of a potential SuperGrafx prototype.

[reiverreturns]

I’m only starting to get into f1 can you explain the offseason f1 vs fia drama I wanna understand it

I certainly can m'love!

So a little bit of background context before I get into the meat. This whole drama centres around three main players. The first of these is Susie Wolff, an ex-DTM and F1 development driver, former CEO of Formula E, and now MD of the all-female series F1 Academy reporting directly into Stefano Domenicali. She also happens to be married to Toto Wolff (our second player), Team Principal of Mercedes AMG. Our third player is Mohammed Ben Sulayem, current FIA president who has been plagued with accusations of fostering sexism as of late as well as being an outright misogynist, stating that he thought women were stupider than men on a personal website prior to his election. He is also well known for not being popular in the ranks of F1, who see him as a powerplayer and someone who continually overreaches to influence the sport to an unreasonable degree.

SO. This all starts with swirling media rumours that earlier this season there was an incident in a TP meeting where Toto accidentally shared confidential insider information that triggered a complaint from one or more of the other team principals. The implication here was that Susie told Toto the insider info because she's his wife and apparently doesn't give a shit about professional integrity. Anyway the FIA confirmed this in a statement yesterday and said their Compliance Department is actively looking into the matter as a potential conflict of interest. Neither Toto, Susie, Merc, F1, or anyone else had been notified of this investigation and learned with all the rest of us through the press release that this was an ongoing investigation. Susie Wolff sends the most dignified and classy fuck you of all time via instagram and I fall in love with her a little more

Still, it's fair to investigate a complaint, right? Well here's the thing - this evening every single F1 team (bar Merc obvs) have released a statement saying they did not complain to the FIA about a potential conflict of interest. And if no one complained, the FIA have basically been caught with their pants down. They have either 1. taken grossly inappropriate action based on one shitty media report, 2. have lied about their reasons for investigating the Wolffs and Susie in particular, or 3. given the entire F1 paddock reason to lie about this which seems very unrealistic. F1 teams will happily throw one another under the bus for a dime there would have to be something immense happening to make them unite like this.

It's hard not to see this mess as a classic Ben Sulayem overreach and extremely sexist gamble to try and oust Susie Wolff from her senior position in the organisation. It's also hard not to see the teams' action tonight as a coordinated attempt to put pressure on the FIA and for Ben Sulayem to resign. Either way, someone's lied on an extremely public stage, put people's careers at risk, and the fallout is going to go on well into the new year.

Oh, and the FIA end of season awards show is on Friday. You know, the one some members of the Merc team got fined for not attending a few years ago when Hamilton got screwed out of an eighth world title. Lol. That should be a barrel of laughs.

Anyway that's what you missed on Glee I hope it helps/made some sense?!

[felassan]

EA website update:

"Incoming Transmission N7 DAY 2023 Happy N7 Day to our wonderful community!"

"Hey, everyone, Every November 7th, we’ve all come together—developers, superfans, regular fans, kinda-fans—to celebrate (and speculate about!) the games, stories, and community that make Mass Effect so special. It’s a testament to the long-lasting appeal of this universe and the characters who call it home. Eleven years of N7 Days and sixteen years of Mass Effect later, the franchise continues to inspire our development team, and with each day, gives us the opportunity to create more adventures for you to have. Whether it’s one of the many who have been here since the original game’s launch or those recently joining us at BioWare, we are all incredibly lucky to be envisioning this future. That process is equal parts rewarding and challenging. We’ve asked ourselves many of the same questions you’ve asked us over the years! What happened to everyone you know and love in the games? Who really died? Who had kids with whom? What does a baby volus sound like? What about all the galaxies? The endings! What the heck is going on with our asari scientist-turned-Shadowbroker? What about S— nevermind...you get the idea. And of course, to those questions, there are answers, but you’ll have to wait to hear them. And anything we do say won’t be easy to find, just like you’ve come to expect from our #N7Day teases. But for real… thank you. Thank you for everything, and allowing us to do what we do. We approach the future of this universe with gratitude and deep respect. Respect for you—the community. Respect for the love and dedication you’ve given to us. Respect for the history and the stories you’ve created, and the characters you’ve fallen in love with. And, respect for the future, and the opportunity to do something big—something amazing—for you. Until next time…and Happy N7 Day! —Mike Gamble, Mass Effect Franchise Director & Executive Producer"

"Through o0ur partnership with Humble Bundle and friends at Dark Horse Comics, we’re making all Dark Horse Mass Effect and Dragon Age comics available in a convenient package! Pr1oceeds from this will go to Child’s Play, a charity that seeks to make the lives of children in hospitals more comfortable. We all know how powerful and uplifting games can be, so we’re glad to be able to help bring joy t0o kids in need through this effort. If you’d like to help, too, please check it o0ut! We also have some exciting new merch from our partners for those who want to stock their shelves or add to their wardro0bes. The BioWare Gear Store is releasing multiple new i1tems today! From a brand-new mini replica Claymore Shotgun to Omni-Blade LED Wall Art, we’ve got tons of Mass Effect items for your collection, all go0ing live with a site-wide sale. Be sure to check out items new and old, and follow them on social media to see their latest relea1ses."

"Our frie0nds over at Dark Horse have also been working on something special. For over a year now, we’ve been working closely with them on a few new statues based on popular requests. First and foremost, we’re excited to share that Commander Shepard (female) is ge1tting an iconic battle-worn statue! This has been one of the top requests from the community and we’ve been super excited to see it come to life."

"And, of course, if you w1ant to put a squad together for her, Dark Horse is also releasing new statues of Wrex and Tali. These statues are brought to life with the level of care and quality we’ve all come to expect from Dark Horse over the years. These two iconic characters are ready to take the fi1ght to the Reapers!"

"F0or those who live in colder climates (Canada being a prime example), our friends over at Volante Design have returned this year with s0omething just for you. Following the success of the N7 line of apparel they released, the team at Volante has created a Garrus Vak0arian-style parka, complete with a “head cone” to protect your 0face."

"A0nd of course, Sanshee always has something for our b1iggest fans. For lovers of Grunt, Lia1ra, and adorable va1rren, the team has created a new set of plu0shees and pins for your colle0ctions! Be sure to chec1k out their site for all that and m1ore."

"Your joy, creativity, and passion help drive us towards the future of Mass Effect and all that it may be0come. The team is ta1king their time to cr1aft a whole new adventu0re for you to enj1oy, with new stories, chara0cters, and experiences to fill it. At the end of t0he day, that’s w1hat N7 Day is about. Cel0ebr1ati1ng yo0u an1d th1is speci0al fr0anchise that br0ings us all to1get1her. W0e hope you’1ve enjoyed the glimpse1s int1o the fut1ure of the fra0nchis1e so f1ar. An0d don’t wor1ry, ther1e’s mo1re to come, but fa0rther away! Ever your biggest fans, —The Mass Effect Team"

[source and link to all images in post]

Associated Twitter post:

[source]

[fluffysheeple]

Under capitalism, showing as many ads as possible to as many people as possible is considered to have value, despite the fact that this is of no practical benefit to basically anyone. Art, community, relaxation - whatever else you may use this website for - are not; except when they can serve as a vehicle for more consumption. Therefore, [tumblr] will always be optimized as a vehicle for online gambling ads, *not* as a service for forming connections with like-minded people all over the world, or even just as as an optimal delivery mechanism for funny pictures. These actually good things are mere side effects of the ad views machine that is [tumblr]. Staff would have to make it show you nothing *but* ads, if it weren't for the fact that this would entirely destroy the ad farm. User base. Whatever.

There is nothing you, as an individual, can do about this. After all, like most of us are in some form, [tumblr]'s developers are merely forced to follow the diktat of the bourgeois petty tyrants who own their workplace in order to be allowed a roof over their heads. I'm sure a plurality of them secretly wish us well, in the same way you might root for a tenacious little weed in the sidewalk. So: stop using the app, install an ad blocker on your browser(s), and enjoy the funny pictures while they last. Like a dandelion growing from a crack in the asphalt!

[n0ts0phism]

I'm gonna go ahead and copy the post's text here, just so my story doesn't have to be completely offloaded to another website. You can read it after the break.

An apology is in order. My work on this blog slowed to a crawl recently. I couldn’t muster up the energy to commit to writing routinely. It’s not that I didn’t want to, don’t get me wrong; I still have lots I want to say. My resistance to posting anything right away is because I don’t want to talk about exclusively negative topics.

But there’s one inescapable fact that has influenced my decision-making throughout Summer and Fall:

The job hunt where I live is demoralizing, yet despite that, I’ve been hyper-focused on it.

My mind is at odds with itself. If I’m investing too much time in a job hunt, it begs for me to stop. But it simultaneously urges me to keep going—because it feels like it doesn’t deserve to stop fretting about my employment prospects until I’ve applied to something. There have been multiple times when I’ve applied to a position that I knew I’d dislike or be a poor fit for. Whether it be due to my lack of experience, the complications of my disabilities, or having to account for my demented father when it comes to commuting—or doing anything outside of the house, for that matter—my job choices are limited. I’m trapped, others like me are just as trapped, and society only pretends to care about us.

I do at least have some advocates helping me through the job search and disability advocacy. And thanks to my father’s SSDI, meager as it is, I’m more financially stable than I would be living alone. But unfortunately, that job-hunting-first mindset has only recently decided to budge. So much time was lost on anxiety over employment, time that could’ve been spent on personal development in my hobbies. Or, more relevantly, that time could’ve been spent updating this blog, screaming into the void, and hoping someone would shout back.

There’s more to my outlook on this period of my life than the job hunt itself. While I’ve held down paid positions before, they collectively only lasted a little under a year. Both were retail associate roles, and both ended with me exiting on bad terms with my employers. For privacy reasons, I won’t give out the company names, but I don’t care if my former workmates find this. The writing from this point will be fairly rough and ramble-filled.

JOB #1

I was quite excited to start out working for this company. The staff seemed welcoming enough, to the extent that they wanted to get down to business and not fool around. It was all for the better, too; this was an office supply retailer that hired me just in time for the back-to-school season, and customers would be flooding in to prep their kids for the year ahead. It was nice growing accustomed to how things worked in this place; the training modules were decently thorough.

… But things started going downhill the second an abusive coworker made her opinion of me known on the same day. Going forward, I’ll refer to her as Kay. When we met, she not only didn’t greet me, but the very first thing out of her mouth when she decided to talk to me was “Do you not have work to do?”

I was on my lunch break. Because how dare I stop to take care of myself when my diabetes requires somewhat strict mealtimes?

Since then, Kay remained openly hostile and condescending towards me, rudely ordering me to get out of her way and dressing me down for even the slightest mistakes. Mind you, she was a fellow sales associate with no official power over me. It’d still be unforgivable if she were a manager, but her humbler role just makes her treatment of me worse.

Even so, Kay did have some seniority over me. She’d done good logistical work for the store over the years, and she was in the good graces of nearly every manager. At the very least, I wasn’t the only one who recognized how problematic this person was. But the store manager was too spineless—or rather, too willing to turn a blind eye—to discipline Kay whenever our coworkers voiced their concerns.

After the back-to-school season ended, business dropped off a cliff. There would be extremely long periods of nothing to do for me between customers, often as long as thirty minutes to an hour—which was frequently 25% of my shift for the day. The training modules did not prepare me for unstructured time, so, unless I was given furniture or a display to assemble… I spent a lot of the latter half of my six months in this store standing around and watching for oncoming customers.

Don’t get me wrong. I certainly tried to do more with my time, but I got conflicting information from my managers. Some of them wanted me to man the registers constantly and let other people complete other tasks, while others wanted me to venture out and do something other than wait, even if that meant leaving the registers unattended.

While this was happening, I’d stuck up for myself against Kay’s verbal abuse a handful of times. The first time, I politely but firmly told her to stop treating me like an idiot, after she began dressing me down for confusing one customer’s order for another. She backed off after that; I could tell she wasn’t used to retaliation in this setting.

Kay’s shock continued when, after once again ordering me to get out of her way, I snapped back at her—within reason--to cut it out. I seemed to be disappointing everyone at that point, between the managers and their poorly expressed and unfulfilled expectations, and now, this power-tripping bully once again displacing her frustrations with life on me. I had enough.

Of course, when word got around about what happened, I was reprimanded for my response. Never mind the fact that the head manager, Jay, said to my face that she knew this coworker was abusive due to past incidents, but did nothing to address it. From that point forward, all the managers grew increasingly passive-aggressive with me, especially one who also began displacing her frustrations about unruly customers onto me. I assume they and the others took Kay’s side because it’s easier to blame the new guy with the disability.

This isn’t just me playing a victim card here, or assuming the worst out of frustrated retail workers. I know definitively that they hated dealing with me and my diabetes. The nicest coworker I met there, Pim, was a retired nurse, and she relayed to me that Kay once vented to her about me and my diabetes. Considering everything else I’d heard about Kay by this point, I was deeply inclined to believe Pim, and still am; she had no reason to lie about this, and it lined up with Kay’s contempt for me too well. The managers were likely eating up every bad thing she was saying about me, like a pack of starved wolves.

There had even been times when my head manager snarkily asked about why I was taking my lunch break so early, despite the fact I had established my diabetes-related strict eating habits as early as the first week of the job. In fact, in times when I was manning the registers with nothing else to do, that manager asked me—and specifically me, no one else; I checked—to stand by the entrance and greet people. Another manager was confused about what I was doing one day, and when I explained, he seemed to have more questions than answers…

As you can imagine, midway through my final month in this job, I worked hard to find a new job and get the hell out of there. I managed to cut down my two-week notice to one week after finding something, and I left without saying goodbye to anyone except Pim—the one coworker who gave a crap about me and my struggles.

All this time, I felt I was losing my passion for illustration again. But as the first day of the new job and the last one of this current role both drew near, I started to realize my confidence was being pushed down by people who were bankrupt in good character. The best I had managed to do on the side were doodles of trees… So it was rather appropriate, then, that I managed to digitally paint on as my first finished piece done in the Krita program.

The victory was fairly short-lived, however, as complications with the second job began to arise shortly after its completion. But I still appreciate what it stands for: my growth in opposition to a world that wants me to kneel.

JOB #2

My second job was another retail position just down the street, this time specializing in home décor and gifts. It started as a temporary job for the holiday season, and I took to it like a fish to water. Business was constant, the register system was identical to the one in the first job. Sure, it was the exact work as before, but I liked it enough to transform it into a year-round position. The whole reason I did was because my coworkers seemed a lot more understanding about what I was going through.

Emphasis on “seemed,” at least when it came to the head manager.

Mills was a gossipy sort. Even during the interview, she asked me to elucidate on my negative experiences in the first job, and I, desperate to escape and find solidarity with someone, opened myself up all too willingly.  She was probably genuinely concerned at the time, but it’s also a product of her two-facedness. Based on her regard for her customers, this was someone all too willing to viciously deride someone behind their backs while putting on an insincere smile whenever they were in the vicinity.

She even expressed how prideful she was in the gossipy culture she cultivated for the store, something that was maintained by the encouragement for managers and fellow associates alike to text each other. I ended up being too open about myself, simply because Mills and some of the others were overly open about themselves. This set a bad precedent for me even long after this job ended. It probably had something to do with my autism, but I assumed this sort of honesty about job troubles would fly in every interview. Thankfully, I caught on to how wrong that was after only one.

A few months into the job, Mills requested I stop pulling out my insulin pump when attending the registers. From what I remember, she feared corporate would assume I was pulling out my phone in plain view of the customers. I complied, simply because I assumed she had my best interests in mind…. But knowing what I do know, this was probably the biggest red flag of the two before the actual fallout. Intended or not, this was flat-out discrimination. If I need to deliver insulin through my pump, it is infinitely more practical to deliver it on the spot.

I shouldn’t have to cater to a corporation’s inability to tell the difference when I’m only trying to take care of myself. Besides, if my blood sugar is out of range, that can often leave my motor skills impacted. Having to retreat to the back of the store to administer treatment in private meant I’d be liable to trip on something. This wasn’t a corporation that knew how to apply basic logic; they just wanted to protect their fragile sensibilities by refusing to acknowledge a person’s diabetes—which would be manageable if I was given the grace to do so.

Unfortunately, I was not given that grace. In March of this year, I had three blood sugar episodes across a time span of two weeks.

The first one was a persistent case of hyperglycemia—high blood sugar—caused by two failed infusion sets. Eventually, I requested I go home; the issue hadn’t been corrected by the time I arrived at work, and I’d spent an hour and a half sitting in agony in the break room as I struggled to recover. This was entirely fair, but it colored my coworkers’ outlook on me going forward, especially in the subsequent incidents.

The last two were cases of hypoglycemia—low blood sugar. This time, Mills pressured me into returning home because of a perceived attitude problem. I was visibly tired and sad because I was running out of energy, but I didn’t figure that out until after she made her decision. I didn’t feel like I was able to argue, so I once again complied.

The final incident saw me catch the low blood sugar this time… which meant having to take a second break to eat more food to make things right. Though she tried her best to hide it, Mills remained visibly and audibly incensed about this, questioning why I can’t just eat like everyone else, callously suggesting I upend my mealtime routine so I can make do with only one meal break alone. I tried explaining that it wasn’t feasible without serious consequences to my health, and while she seemed to accept my explanation, she seemed to remain unsatisfied.

I was correct. By the time I got home, my blood sugar was back in range, so I decided to apologize for what happened to Mills over text. The following is the paraphrased conversation:

Me: I'm sorry about the additional break I took tonight. Sadly, no matter how good my control is with my blood sugar, I'm going to end up burning through whatever food I’ve eaten, as doing work like that uses up a lot of energy. I was on my phone back there looking at potential food that could help with this. I'm going to try some of it out next time I have a longer shift like this. Mills: As I stated, it's my job to make sure that we comply with each other. You communicated to me clearly what you needed, and I, in turn, communicated the company’s break policy. It’s not more complicated than that. I need to communicate company policy. I do have worries. I might need to see if you may need some accommodation. Let's see where it goes from here. You might just not be able to do the job, and I'm waiting to see if we can work out some things. You must be able to hold your own... and I'm just not seeing it at this stage. We’ll discuss this when I’m next available.

It was probably a mistake speaking about this blood sugar issue in absolutes, but it’s true. When I’m low, I need food to keep it higher. And as for the response I got, I feel there’s an attempt to stay professional and understanding, but some of that frustration bled through, clear as day. And it’s even more insulting to read now after approaching M about this issue in person. She acted like the conversation didn’t even happen until I elaborated. It’s like dressing me down over text was the most unremarkable part of her day.

She had a litany of issues with me that went entirely unexpressed until that afternoon. I don’t want to toot my own horn and say I was a saint, as a handful of them were legitimate complaints. No one’s perfect, and there’s always room to improve. The only reason I know the rest were discriminatory was because I also asked for them in writing. Establishing a paper trail is useful in situations like these… And sure enough, most of the complaints traced back to my diabetes, just worded in such a way to avoid implicating it as the issue. And when I asked Mills about whether the diabetes was to blame, she instead fingered my autism.

No one aside from Mills was passive-aggressive with me during my last days in the store, but I no longer felt welcome. And by early April, I exited and didn’t look back for a second… And that unfortunately brings me to where I am today.

I’ve struggled to find a job ever since. Life with my father has grown harder, as his mental health has seen some sharp declines. I feel demoralized, resentful, and more than frustrated. It’s not all been doom and gloom, however. I managed to get an official diagnosis of my autism, and I’ve built quite a rapport with some friends of mine, both my one in-person friend and his family and a few online ones through Discord.

And, well… Like my grief with Tiger, I did manage to complete one art piece to embody how horrible those ten months were. The bullying, the rejection, and the anxiety of not being able to push forward…. It put me right back where I was in 2022, facing an imaginary monster in an epic fight to the death, a monster that restricted and taunted me for feeling I wasn’t good enough. A monster I tried drawing again right after the tree painting in 2023, but I couldn’t finish this other piece in time for the new year.

But, shortly before my 26th birthday, I found it in me to not only complete the piece but take some significant risks in doing so. I may be struggling now, but I can rest easy with this victory:

But for now…. I must keep going.