#gender criticals don't touch

[redditreceipts]

"I don't know why very few cis lesbians join in"

dude, I do actually have an idea for why that could be, but i think you don't want to hear that

"it's not enough to just accept us, you have to talk about penises all of the time actually"

[bikini-kill-pilled]

i never realized how deeply internalized my homophobia was until one of my straight female friends put her arm around me and hugged me and i felt so uncomfortable about it on her behalf. like...growing up a lesbian really makes you feel so alienated from other girls, both mentally and physically. you make a habit out of keeping to yourself don't want them to take it the wrong way if you hug them or tell them they look great, and then even when you meet people who accept you for who you are, you still can't shake that little homophobe in your head who makes everything you do as a lesbian sexual. but i am grateful for finding wonderful friends who are helping me grow out of my shell. those guys rock.

[desistancejourney]

This is messy and I don't even know exactly what I mean by this but I feel like sapphic things and aesthetics have become so soft and desexualized and the desire to combat patriarchy and not see women as merely "sexual objects" has looped around to being homophobic again by insinuating that wanting to fuck women is inherently violent and specifically a MALE desire, so masculine women feel ashamed of this desire and the only way to make it make sense is to conclude that they ARE men on the inside.

[marblecakemix]

hey, about your blog intro you said that you don't hate trans people but you hate their ideology, do you mind explaining what you mean?

Not at all! It came out kinda long, I hope you don't mind.

The first thing I hate the most about gender ideology is "trans kids". I'm strongly against stuffing children with hormones that their young and still developing bodies do not need. I believe that children cannot give consent to irreversible hormonal therapy and surgeries. Especially when hormones have a huge impact on their mental and physical development (just look at how different levels of estrogen in a woman's body change how she acts). A lot of adults aren't sure about transitioning and sometimes regret parts of it, how can a child make such a difficult and life-altering decision? There are safer and healthier ways of testing the waters (that should last at least 2 years to be sure), like changing the style of clothes, using different pronouns and assimilating more with the opposite sex. Why is that not the first thing recommended to those kids?

And to the people who deny any of that happening. Today at the mall I saw a 14/15 y/o girl on testosterone (I and my friend could tell by how uncharacteristically low her voice was). She clearly was not doing well, she had that empty look in her eyes (speaking from experience). She was maybe a head smaller than me (I'm 155cm/5'1) and she'll most likely never grow taller and will probably end up obese, because of taking testosterone so early. In my country gay marriage is illegal, but you are free to butcher a child's natural growth with hormones? That does not seem right.

The second thing is how transness is presented nowadays. You don't need to have gender dysphoria (even though it's the first thing you would need to be diagnosed with a decade ago to transition which was the essential thing in transsexualism)! You don't even have to want to change at all! Now all you need to do is to check the criteria of "feeling trans/like different gender" which is deeply rooted in sexism and operates on stereotypes. What does "feeling like a woman" mean? Women-feelers want to wear all pink, revealing clothing, have big bouncy boobs, act stupid, and be annoying? That sounds pretty sexist to me. Same with "feeling like a man". A man is not someone who likes bears, fishing, and cars, we all know that. You can't feel like a man/woman, because sex is not based on feelings, interests, and personality which the opposite is one of the fundamentals of being trans according to gender ideology. The most harmful thing I see that comes out of it is women (usually identifying as non-binary) say things like, I don't feel like a woman, because I have a complex personality and can think on a higher level than a toddler. That's sexism all throughout that gender ideology supports wholeheartedly.

Another thing is borderline occultic behaviors I see in gender ideology believers. They pray on the young and vulnerable and tell them that the irreversible change to their body will fix all their problems (that have usually nothing to do with gender dysphoria). The activity discourages people from looking into research on topics that questions the ideology and show the negative side of it. They vandalize, attack, and kill people who are against their ideology. They expect that their minority rights will have more power than 99% of the world's population. They usually are only or mostly friends with themselves. They advocate for children to be taken away from their families just because the family is questioning their child's behavior. Straight-up lying about statistics and research results like how the newest research says that people who transition are more likely to take their own lives than before transitioning and I don't think you'll ever hear about that from gender ideologist. There's a lot more, but I can't think of another example now.

Those are the main reasons why I hate gender ideology. I hope that this answers your question. If you want to ask about anything more specific, go ahead!

[hard--headed--woman]

oh and by the way i hope everyone, het or bi, woman or man, TRA or radfem, feminist or incel, gender critical or libfem, conservative or liberal, who thinks lesbians can be attracted to males in any context dies after stepping on a lego

[aman1taverna]

ah yes, woman is bra and thong and being a wife

[gendercriticalthinking]

hi, agender non-binary person here interested in gender critical feminism! i was wondering what your take was on people being uncomfortable with certain pronouns (he/him, she/her).

how do you feel about they/them pronouns, or neopronouns?

Hello there! I apologize so much for not answering your ask in a timely manner!! Responding to people on social media still makes me a bit anxious and stressed so I usually ignore my notifs even though I really shouldn't haha

Thank you for your question, and for being open to listening to gender critical people!!! It's an important and admirable quality to have, and especially worth praising when you and others have outright been told to not interact with gc people/radfems at any cost! So yes, thank you for that! :)

As for your question (which is a good one!) I originally wrote this very long rambly reply and saved it to my drafts hoping to make it coherent one day. But then recently something happened that made me realize something about human nature in general that directly ties into how gender identities and discomfort/enjoyment of certain pronouns came about:

My brother has always loved nature, especially animals. The reason his favorite color is green is because it's the color of plants: trees, jungles, the places animals live and eat and get to be free in. He's so obsessed with green that seeing something green, anything green, compels him to go " :O !!!! Green!!!"

Because he loves nature and animals so much, he's also a vegetarian. And not just in a "eating animals is bad for the environment" way, but a "it disturbs me on a visceral level to see, smell, or be near meat" way. I have to clean up my bowls and plates that I eat meals that have meat on (I mean, I'd do it anyway because you should pick up after yourself but you get what I mean) because the thought of touching a utensil that once came into contact with meat, even if I ate that meat and it's gone now, carnally disgusts him.

He loves animals, and he wants pets. He'd never ever malnourish a pet just because he has a problem with meat, but it'd be a real emotional challenge for him to feed a carnivore wet meaty food and/or live prey every day. (The token family dog was always fed by our parents or me; he'd be okay if our dog liked dry food but he doesn't lol.)

So I researched the options out there for herbivorous pets, and I found a couple species of lizards (he loves lizards in particular, partially because they're often... green) that eat an exclusively plant-based diet! I showed them to him and he was definitely on board... but alongside the herbivores we found a species of lizard that's a bright, vibrant green and makes a great pet, but they need to eat (preferably live) insects.

He's over the moon about the green insectivore lizards. Once he learned they existed it was over for him. They're all he wants, he's 100% sure. And it's for a lot of other reasons besides the fact that they're green, but... they're green. There are no herbivorous green lizards that make good/easy-to-care-for pets. On some level, he cares more about the green-ness than the vegetarianism.

Why is that?

It's because humans are obsessed with creating symbols to represent ideas. So much so that they often get more attached to the symbol itself than the thing it's supposed to be a reminder of. It's like a self-made Cloth Mother that's built to look like the Wire Mother, but comes with none of the substance or nourishment.

Green represents nature and animals coexisting peacefully to my brother. The emotion the color green instills in him as it reminds him of the things he loves is so powerful it surpasses his enjoyment of the literal thing that the color represents to him.

I'm just using him as an example, but everyone does this. Your favorite childhood shows make you happy because they're nostalgic and reminds you of being a kid first and foremost. They can be well-written and artistic and enjoyable underneath that feeling, but the simpler time they mentally take you back to is what you love about them. Your favorite characters, the "he's just like me fr" ones you read fanfic of, are ones that remind you of yourself and/or ones that you're attracted to. They can also be fun to analyze and have interesting personalities and be great meme fodder, but at the end of the day they represent something to you beyond their objective qualities.

.

So. If we live in a world where women are treated as lesser to men, not fully human, accessories to the actual thinkers, and we use "she/her" to refer to women, is it possible your hatred of hearing those pronouns is because they represent the idea that the person saying them to you sees you as inferior, vapid, incomplex?

If you're in a community where being a female who goes by "they/them" or "it/its" or "he/they" means you get to be who you want to be, who you truly are, enjoying everything life has to offer instead of being restricted to a role someone else made up for you, why wouldn't you like to be called something other than "she"?

When the majority of people who go by "she/her" in your spaces are amab people who constantly, vocally fetishize and dehumanize people with your biological body type (with a few afab people who don't seem to act like you or share your interests sprinkled in) why would anyone as smart and complex and kind to yourself as you ever like being called "she"?

Do you have an innate discomfort with certain pronouns because of dysphoria, or do you hate what the sound of them represents, reminds you of, that they're telling you what other people think of you? Do you enjoy being called certain pronouns because of euphoria, or do you like what the sound of them represents, reminds you of, that they're telling you the people who use them must listen to you and care what you think and support you being who you are?

What's my take on pronouns? They're symbols that represent the type of person you are and want to be. They mean something important. They tell a lot about a person. They're not something to play around with and try out for fun like they're clothes. They're not something you can make up out of thin air and pretend they have no connotations attached to them other than an Aesthetic TM you like.

Nor are they an escape from the problems of the world: the baggage comes with them, I'm afraid. It's a lot easier to change your bio and Discord server role than to change people's minds, especially ones belonging to those who hate you. That doesn't mean it's better or it works, just because it's feasible for you to do.

Whenever you feel a certain way about hearing "she," know that countless other women feel the same way as you. And know that leaving "she/her" behind doesn't mean you've found a cheat code out of being victimized and belittled, you've only left women like you behind instead.

[transexualpirate]

the thing is there is racism literally everywhere. i personally cannot fathom a community of people that would be fully capable of exterminating all racism because of how intrinsic to our society it is currently, especially because nowadays the us is at the center of pretty much everything and it is racist and xenophobic as all hell. having said that the queer community is so large and diverse that it becomes significantly easier to try and we have to try, because if we don't that's enabling racism and i do not stand by that. just like that in most brands of feminism there's a diverse enough community that it's possible to call it out without destroying the community from the inside. from what ive seen the "gender critical" movement is not like that. it's very small and not very diverse and calling out the racism in it would demonize such a large part of the community that it would discredit the whole movement. and that is why so many "gender criticals" stand silently beside racism and when questioned about it say they disagree but refuse to actually do something about it. and if you have one nazi and ten normal people at a table you have eleven nazis etc etc

[eve-is-a-terf]

fuck you drag queens have a place in gay history

of course, misogyny has its place in every male community

[raspberryfem]

we all know in truth you don't care about women. give up the act, it's gone on too long to still be funny.

i've had this blog for like a month, dude

[oracle-cassandra]

Utah (USA) reversed the ban for sports being separated by sex in school sports 😔

[marblecakemix]

ok im curious about what you would make of my gender experience from the radfem lens. im a trans guy in an open relationship with another trans guy and our sexual interactions always include bdsm elements during which i am the dom, including cnc elements. so like am i evil man or innocent brainwashed girl? let me know

I'm not a good person to unpack whatever is going on with you and your mental state and your partner's mental state. But I would say that if you get off of pretend rape/sexual assault that's nothing good. If I were you, I'd look into that and ask myself why hurting someone (even if it's a play) makes me feel good and why my partner likes being abused.

I don't think you're evil just because you're a trans-identified female who likes BDSM or is innocent. You definitely need a good therapist, that's for sure. I don't know you but maybe look into internalized homophobia and sexism surrounding transgenderism, because you're in a lesbian relationship with extra steps. My advice would be to look into why you don't want to be a girl. What makes you think that being a man is a better option for you or maybe it's a way for you to run from something and never address it? No healthy human being wants to permanently change their appearance with hurtful procedures and surgery (I'm talking about taking crosssex hormones and gender-affirming/plastic surgeries).

I can only share my experience which is that I didn't want to be seen as a woman because I see the world outside of gender norms (that's why I'm a gender abolitionist) and I wanted to be seen as more than an object that makes children, is won by men, has a long hair, wears makeup and submits to the bows of society. I'm not a woman that mass media shows and no woman is. We all can be whatever we want without denying our sex and we can find beauty and be proud of being women.

I think that you need professional help, go to therapy where your views will be challenged, and get to the root of your gender dysphoria. You are not an evil man or an innocent little girl. You're (from what you wrote about yourself) a grown person who got wronged and suffers from a mental illness.

Take care and ask me more if you want. It's okay if you disagree with whatever i wrote, but please let my words simmer a little inside you and give them a thought.

[howlsaur]

i don't want to be trans anymore.

[aman1taverna]

Imagine if some Christian decided he was a prophet and demanded people refer to him as one. He started seeking legal protection for his identity to be considered a prophet. Anyone in his life who told him they supported him but didn't truly believe him was labelled christphobic. No one treated him as lesser than, but by not agreeing with his beliefs, he felt betrayed by them.

That's what I feel like sometimes, when I am told that if you treat a transgender woman like a peer, refer to her with her preferred pronouns, you must still be a bigot if you don't really believe that she's a woman.

Treating transgender people like weird degenerates is bigotry. Denying transgender people healthcare that is actually vital to their health is bigotry. Simply saying "I respect you, but I don't really view you as a man/woman because I simply don't believe in gender identity" IS NOT bigotry. That's honestly what peaked me. I don't support discriminating against trans people because they're trans, but I don't consider disbelief in their identity to be discrimination. It's not just about respect or decency, it's about policing the way you think and see the world. No equal treatment is enough not to be transphobic if you don't believe what they do.

I realize that I do post about trans people a lot, and this is why. I was told before that any feminism or activism is not enough if you don't believe the right things. What other minority group acts like this? When I date women, I just want us to be respected as fellow human beings and to feel safe in public. I don't care if anybody else loves my girlfriend, or even thinks our relationship is less fulfilling than ours if they treat us like people. When did homosexual rights get lumped in with "you have to truly take this person at their word about whatever they identify with"?

[its-pluto2]

May I ask why you dislike the word 'cis' being used when it relevant to seperate cis people and trans people?

Um... maybe because it's a baseless term being shoved down my throat and whenever I don't use it, people fearmonger me calling me tons of adjectives I am not and, besides, I did nothing wrong to begin with???

Why is it disrespectful to call myself a woman if that is what I am?

Why do some people hate the word 'woman' so much?

You ask why I dislike the word cis being used, and it's because calling yourself what you are shouldn't be offensive to anyone. If I'm going to be told that my calling myself a woman is offensive to people and I should call myself cis, menstruator, uterus haver, etc. I will kindly ask the person telling me that what in the world is wrong with them.

"[Woman] comes across as transphobic." Under what basis? Why? There is no reason for this, this is just something someone decided. The word woman is not transphobic, and using it isn't either.

I hope I'm clear on how baseless it is to assign the transphobic quality to 'woman', and how absurd it is to demand we use the term cis.

'Cis' has become a term that people need to use to not be offensive when there is literally nothing wrong with a woman calling herself a woman. I am struggling to write this out because of how absurd it is to even have to explain it. Telling women not to call themselves women and resort to other terms to cater to other people.

I'm a woman, end of story. I owe nobody anything, I owe no accountability for offenses I'm not committing, and I shouldn't be demanded to change my language to coddle a select few people who don't care about what's respectful to me, who don't care about my boundaries, certainly not about the discrimination and violence I suffer as a woman my whole life, but who only care about their ideals becoming the norm and about being deemed right.

It's reached a point where heaven forbid you mistake someone's pronouns. Heaven forbid you identify with your biological sex. Heaven forbid you call yourself according to your gender without adding some odd term before it because if you do then you're scum and at least three kinds of phobic.

No. I'm a person calling myself what I am and it's no one's right to tell me it's something it isn't.

And telling me that my being a woman and calling myself a woman is any kind of disrespectful is misogynistic to me, and I will not condone misogyny.

[gendercriticalthinking]

After seeing the same issues I've had with certain radfems' beliefs keep cropping up over and over, especially among popular blogs, all the while getting very little pushback, I've decided I'm going to abandon this blog. I'm still 100% gender critical, I still believe in and try to practice feminist ideals. I don't think either of those things are related to or must end up leading to ostracizing, or even victim blaming, OSA women for being OSA.

In my post about my ""brother"", he's actually my boyfriend. I wrote it that way because I felt like I'd be seen as a bad person for having a boyfriend on here. I'm not alone in noticing this. Literally just an hour ago I got privately messaged by someone who agreed, who said she didn't feel comfortable saying so publicly. This is not the first time this has happened to me.

This

If you're gonna act confused about how transgenderism can brand itself as feminist while simultaneously shitting on half the population, how are you radfems not doing the same right now?

A ton of women on here left the trans movement because we got fed up with that, and the hypocrisy of blaming women for men's problems, the misogyny of implying social issues can be solved by women changing their sex lives to make other people happy, the incompatibility of saying "you can date whoever but based on the sex you date you will be judged for it" with the fact that sexuality is innate. We're tired of it and we're not going to put up with it.

If you feel the same, send me an ask or DM and I'll reach out. It doesn't have to be this way. This is not feminist, nor what being gender critical is about. Just because you feel like something is feminist and believe it's feminist praxis doesn't make it so. You are not immune to internalized misogyny.