#genuinely i dont think i can handle that anymore like the idea of going back to that makes me want to die so bad

[gaystardykeco]

the problem with vacation is that now in three days i have to go back to working and being alone the rest of the time and idk if i can handle it

[left4deadstuck]

You bite your lower lip. You don't think being straight to the point with Karkat would be a good idea… Though you considered it heavily before ultimately choosing to go with an apology.

Okay… Here it comes.

Dave: hey. Dave: im… sorry Dave: im sorry man

Your voice is quiet. Maybe too quiet, making you think the other didn't hear you. So you look up to glance at the other.

Dave: genuinely i Dave: i didnt think wed see each other like

You don’t get the chance to finish before he raises his hand to cut you off.

Karkat: YOU KNOW IF I WANTED TO WATCH SOMEONE VOMIT THE FLIMSIEST APOLOGY KNOWN TO MAN, I'D GO OUTSIDE AND WATCH ONE OF THE INFECTED ASSHOLES OUT THERE THROW UP THEIR GUTS ONTO THE PAVEMENT. Karkat: AND IT WOULD STILL BE A BETTER "SORRY" THAN ANYTHING YOUR BATTER BRAINED SKULL COULD CONJURE UP RIGHT NOW. Karkat: SO SAVE US BOTH THE EMBARRASSMENT AND SHUT UP FOR GODSAKES

You scowl, back straightening. Goddamnit now you remember. Remember how much of a crabby jackass he is.

Dave: oh Dave: because sitting in the dark while silently death glaring at each other is productive Dave: cause we got all the time in the world to just kick back and do absolutely nothing but seethe at each other Dave: not like i was trying t

Karkat: TO DO WHAT EXACTLY? BE REMORSEFUL? BE ACTUALLY APOLOGETIC WITH NO ULTERIOR MOTIVE DESPITE KNOWING I CAN BE OF USE TO YOU? Karkat: DO YOU HONESTLY TAKE ME FOR SOME KIND OF FUCKING IDIOT?! Karkat: THAT I WOULD EVEN HUMOR THE IDEA THAT YOU'RE ACTUALLY SORRY?!! Karkat: THAT I'LL JUST TOSS MY RESENTMENT AND FRUSTRATION OUT INTO THE ATMOSPHERE BECAUSE POOR OL' STRIDER IS JUST A PATHETIC LUMP OF BRUISES! Karkat: *FAT FUCKING CHANCE.* Karkat: YOU COULD BE FOLDED INTO THE MOST DISGUSTING AND AGONIZING EXAMPLE OF HUMAN ORIGAMI AND I'D STILL BE "SEETHING" Karkat: SO YEAH, *I’M SORRY* THAT I DECIDED NOT TO WASTE MY TIME AND ENERGY HEARING YOUR LOUSY ATTEMPT AT A HEART TO HEART

Dave: … Dave: sigh

Once upon a time Jade had asked you and your mutual group of friends to test out the latest version of her new project. A mental inventory system that had a very convoluted retrieval and sorting system. Luckily her team was quick to fix that after your group’s trials with it.

Jade never really told you exactly why, but you always speculated that some people on her team, or well, someone, didn’t really trust your legitimacy enough when signing your NDA. Maybe it shouldn’t have surprised you though, after all you have made a name for yourself with your bizarre level of spectacles you do for the sake of irony.

It did not thrill you to find out the next morning that you would now deal with the living embodiment of “stick up the ass” as your personal bodyguard for however long the trial had to last for. Despite your best efforts to get rid of the guy, you’ve quickly learned a few things about Mr. Vantas here. One of those things being that he is skeptical and stubborn to a fault.

Well, there it goes, your plans being haplessly thrown out the window! Poor sons of bitches didn’t even have a chance-

You hear a snap next to your ear

Karkat: JESUS CHRIST CAN YOU STOP MUMBLING TO YOURSELF FOR A SECOND AND PAY ATTENTION

Dave: what Dave: you have another drawn out monologue about how god awful i am? Dave: are you sure your throat can handle that shakespeare Dave: ya dont exactly have the voice for stage anymore with all that smoke Dave: but lets be real here Dave: its probably a good thing that you cant blow out anyone within a 10 ft radius of you eardrums anymore because you decided to make causal conversation

Karkat: YOU MOUTHY FUCKING PRICK- Karkat: CAN YOU DO THE WORLD Karkat: AND ME ESPECIALLY Karkat: A FUCKING FAVOR TO SHOVE WHATEVER BULLSHIT YOU HAVE IN YOUR WINDPIPE AND FUCKING LET ME TELL YOU WHAT I ACTUALLY WANT TO TELL YOU FOR FIVE FUCKING SECONDS

Dave: ok sir ill be on my best behavior for "five fucking seconds"

Karkat:THANK YOU, GODDAMN. Karkat: AS MUCH AS I WOULD LOVE TO JUST KICK YOUR USELESS ASSES OUT OF MY HOUSE, I DON’T THINK I’LL BE ABLE TO SURVIVE A FIGHT BETWEEN YOUR POTENTIALLY TRIGGER HAPPY HELLSPAWN. Karkat: AND ALTHOUGH I THINK IT’S WITHIN MY RIGHT TO FEEL THIS LEVEL OF BRIGHT HOT ANGER TOWARDS ALL OF YOU… Karkat: SIGHS … I

He looks up at the ceiling as if his next few words are the greatest offense that any higher power could have subjected him to utter.

Karkat: (GOD I MUST BE MORE SICK THAN I THOUGHT.) Karkat: I, FOR SOME REASON THAT SHOULD BE IMPOSSIBLE SEEING AS I HAVE DEALT WITH ENOUGH OF YOUR TOTAL TRASH FIRE OF A PREDICAMENT, BUT HERE I AM EVER THE GLUTTON FOR MORE SELF-INFLICTED MISERY

Dave: yeah yeah i get it Dave: im a dick get to the point

Karkat: I DON’T WANT YOU TO DIE, YOU COMPLETE JACKASS!

Karkat: AND I HATE THAT CAUSE THAT RISKS MY LIFE FOR SOMEONE I ABSOLUTELY DON'T OWE SHIT TO, BUT NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES I TRY TO THINK OF A REASON TO JUSTIFY IT TO MYSELF I CAN’T. Karkat: I CAN'T LIVE EASY KNOWING THAT IF SOMEONE DIED, EVEN IF THAT SOMEONE IS FUCKING YOU...I Karkat: I DON'T NEED TO EXPLAIN SURVIVORS GUILT YOU YOU FUCKING KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT

Dave: oh Dave: uh Dave:th Karkat: NO SHUT THE FUCK UP Karkat: FUCKING Karkat: NO!

Karkat: HAVING A SENSE OF COMPASSION STILL DOESN’T CHANGE THE FACT THAT IT’S EITHER I HELP OR I DIE. Karkat: DON’T TAKE THE FACT THAT I SOMEHOW STILL HAVE MY MORALS INTACT AS FLATTERY. Karkat: INSTEAD BURY THAT IDEA SO FAR IN THE WORTHLESS SLUDGE YOU CALL A THOUGHT PROCESS UNTIL IT ATOMIZES INTO NONEXISTEN-!

He must've worked himself up. You watch him as he moves out of your space to turn and hack up a cloud of smoke. Well, if this isn’t just the perfect time to digest the clusterfuck he has given you. While it is great that he is going to help you out, he’s doing it out of fear and as fuck up as it is, it’s an advantage you have over him.

Though is it a good idea to go along with that? That could risk him fucking you all over and abandoning all of you last minute. You could gain his trust, maybe offer him something that he might want, but even then what would you give him, you have no clue if you have anything to offer him, not to mention that again, he could still just ditch the plan when the opportunity shows up.

What are you going to do?

===> AUDIENCE

[seoafin]

gege fridging yuki and now tsumiki. shoko, utahime, mei mei, momo, miwa disappering from the plot and now i dont think nobara is coming back after reading the newest chapter which would mean that her death was handled horribly 💀💀💀

i genuinely dont understand whats going on in jjk anymore tbh either like i stopped reading after 208 and your blog was how i found out about the tsumiki thing 😭😭 i wish gege wouldve atleast utilized her in the past chapters if the plan was to kill her because the impact just. isnt there. and like what was the point of yorozu??????? to show us that sukuna is strong?????????🤔 i will actually be surprised if gege turns all of this around but honestlyyyyyyy 😬 (1/2)

its a shame that gege doesnt know how to include female characters into the plot anymore because theyre all just interesting and have wayy too much potential.

like the idea of a character who only cares about money and could go as far to exploit their own sibling like mei mei or someone like shoko who is one of the few/only people in the world who can use rct to heal people (the fact that she was in the same class with the 2 strongest sorcerers in the world and she was never shown to be afraid of them or take their shit) or someone like yuki who was the first special grade in their generation and also an spv??? (if this had been revealed during HI arc the drama would increase tenfold...) OR TSUMIKI omg this one frustrates me so muchhh like she had SO SO SO MUCH BUILD UP AND FOR WHAT??? this girl had to get into the role of a parent for her younger brother because toji sold him and left them and her mother abandoned them and left. SHE IS ELDEST DAUGHTER CODED (so much so that her perspective and feelings during a traumatic situation are never explored because shes fine if shes hardworking and doesnt complain *cough*minari*cough*) imagine going through all of this at such a young age and having to adapt constantly and pick up the pieces alone because the have to keep living. like if megumi was too young to be going through all of that SO WAS SHE????? she deserved wayyyyyy better i could go on for hours about this but. yeah 😭😭😭 basically theyre all characters who've got their own agendas and it wouldve been so much better if already existing characters had been explored rather than 1098274 new characters being introduced. i miss plant trio. nobara balanced out fushiguro's emo angstyness by bullying him. oh well atleast we have maki 😍😍😍 (2/2)

no i agree with you 100% jjk had so much potential to have active and important female characters with agency in the beginning of the manga where akutami was still tying characters into world building. i think that made people (like me) hopeful for a deconstruction of gender norms and dynamics in the jujutsu world that would propel the female characters forward instead of letting them stay one dimensional but it looks as if that's what ended up happening anyway. once again i don't think akutami is intentionally sidelining them if that means anything i just think his planning and organization is off (not enough time given to develop characters other than megumi and yuuji) and that he bit off more than he could choose (having a large cast of characters). which is such a shame bc he could be doing so much more with them!!! like the narrative giving shoko the spotlight for like 2 seconds isn't even a step in the right direction it's the bare minimum!!! it's something we should've gotten during the shibuya arc!!!

also yes. i will die mad about yuki tsukumo and tsumiki. they could've been saved idc idc killing off one of the strongest female characters in your series is just plain WRONG. and tsumiki deserved to live my god.......NOT ANGEL. TSUMIKI. AGHHHHHHHH.

[jaeger-pups]

omegaverse!Zekeren : a touchy disagreement?

Z: look I understand if you're mad but you're being reckless at this point

Z: Answer your damn phone, Eren

Z: think. you're by yourself out there

E: I AM thinking! I just need some air, fuck

Z: You left almost three hours ago

E: so fucking what? Stop texting me

E: in case screening your calls isn't making it clear, I do not want to speak to you

E: either of you.

E: I can't believe you actually agreed w/ him

Z: for what it's worth, I genuinely didn't think i was picking a side. Or that it'd upset you this much

Z: Grisha made a valid point though

Z: whether you see it or not

E: See WHAT?? you and dad are NEVER on the same page

E: about ANYTHING!

E: you couldn't have picked a worst stance to get behind

Z: what, that you're not like typical omegas?

Z: I didn't agree w/ that to insult you

E: yea but that's what HIS whole aim was, I bet

E: to make me feel like shit🙄

E: really could've left my gender out of it

E: it's always a cheap shot idc

E: "dOnT yOu ThInK iT'll Be DiFFiCuLt FoR yOu To FiNd An AlPhA wHo'LL pUt Up wItH a TeMpEr LiKe YoUrS?"

E: "hOnEsTlY, eReN. yOu sHoUlDnT sPeAk To AlPhAs LiKe ThAt. YoU mAkE yOuRsElF a TaRgEt."

E: he's always making me out to be fucking different

E: like it's a bad thing

E: what if I don't WANT to be like other omegas?

E: what if I don't CARE what Alphas think of me?

Z: It's just complicated, little brother

Z: honestly I think Grisha's just concerned about you

E: ugh, what fucking world do we live in where you're suddenly willing to VOUCH for him?

E: this feels sexist af why are you not on my side?

Z: I am on your side, ffs Eren! I just agreed w him about your temper. Even I’VE told you to be more careful. Have I not?

Z: you need to come back home. I gave Carla my word i wouldn't leave before you got back

Z: or that I'd go out and find you if you took too long

E: I'm still annoyed

E: I probably need like another half hour or something out here at least

Z: How far did you storm off?

E: far enough where I could rage in peace?😒

Z: It's getting dark out.

E: mhm.

Z: Eren.

E: I mean are you trying to persuade me? Or is this more of a command-thing?

Z: I wouldn't command you. You know that.

E: not that you couldn't. 😒

Z: I wouldn't is what I said. I couldn't do that to you.

E: cus I'm an omega.

Z: well... yes. That's part of it.

E: see? Now there YOU go doing it

E: reducing me to my God damn gender

E: I can defend myself, yknow. I don't need anyone hovering over me in case I make myself anymore "undesirable" 😑

Z: no one said you're undesirable, Eren

E: it's close enough. The way HE gets on my case, at least 🙄

E: you have no idea how hard it is, Zeke

E: like no idea. It's so much simpler to be an Alpha. Or a Beta.

E: at least no one undermines your thoughts or opinions. Or makes you feel like your sole purpose is submission & pleasing everyone else.

Z: I know I can't understand. But I hear you.

E: it gets so fucking frustrating

E: he acts like I fucking chose this or something.

E: I'm more pissed at him than at you honestly

E: cus its just like... constantly w/ him.

Z: yeah.

E: you know what I mean?

Z: ...Yeah. yes, actually.

E: right, so... idk.

E: i don't hate being an omega. It's not like... unbearable. Dangerous and annoying sometimes but.

E: dad just... makes me feel like I do it wrong or something. HE’S not even an omega, so it's like how tf can he tell me how to handle it? How to behave, even.

Z: Sorry for not realizing it was a sore subject

E: it's fine ig.

E: I mean at least you guys agreed on something for a change

E: I'm trying to get better w/ my temper too. He just never notices when im doing pretty good

E: cus even though I think it's performative...

E: I mean... I can talk less. And do chores. And cook; clean.

E: I can be an omega the way people expect.

E: I'm not different on purpose.

Z: you're perfect.

Z: Grisha's just always had this tunnel vision w his expectations for his kids

Z: you don't have to meet anyone's standards but your own tho

Z: Carla and Grisha just worry.

E: yea I know.

Z: you still have to be careful out here too, though.

E: ...I know. Sorry i ran off.

E: I'm coming back now. Mom's probably thinking the worst.

Z: well you're not wrong lol. She was able to relax when i told her you were finally responding to me

E: ok. Could you meet me halfway? It is pretty dark out.

Z: 😏 started walking maybe five minutes ago.

E: lucky you're so intuitive, huh? Lol do you even know where I am?

Z: I'll find you, trust me

E: right, cus you're an Alpha? Must be nice😮‍💨

Z: bc I'm your brother. I could find you in my sleep

E: still. Must be nice being able to depend on instincts that aren't almost exclusive reminders to 'submit, cower and please'😕

Z: can't imagine.

E: ikr. I'm omw tho.

Z: alright. I'll meet you in the middle.

Z: stay on the trail though.

E: yeah yeah, big brother. I hear you. "Good omegas are indoors before the streetlights are on" and all. I know, I know.

Z: lol where'd you hear that?

E: Aunt Faye.

Z: haven't heard from her in a little while. Since New Years, I think

E: she talks to mom a lot. Asks about you, too

Z: I'll have to call and check in.

E: yea. but come get me first :<

Z: lol of course. i'm coming.

[kpostedsum]

only you

draco malfoy x reader, harry potter x reader

summary: when harry asks you to get closer to a specific someone, what happens if you get too close?

based off this tiktok

song: dark red - steve lacy

a/n: there is infidelity in this fic whomppp and not edited

masterlist | taglist

Something bad is 'bout to happen to me

I don't know it but I feel it comin'

Might be so sad, might leave my nose running

the sky was gloomy on your way to hogwarts, everyone was on edge with the return of voldemort. you stayed with harry, ron and hermione all throughout the summer at the burrow preparing for your sixth year.

“he has to be a deatheater, his father is in azkaban so it makes sense if voldemort would have made him a deatheater in his fathers place” your boyfriend harry tried to explain to ron and hermione. you have to admit, he could have a point— however, no matter how bad draco is you didn’t want to think that of a sixteen year old boy. “well how do you suppose we find out?” asked ron as he awaited an answer from everyone.

“i have a plan but i don’t suppose harry would be too fond of it” hermione said with a waver in her voice. “since y/n comes from a respectable pureblood family, perhaps she can get closer to draco and confirm our suspicions for us—”

“absolutely not. i don’t want y/n any where near malfoy, who knows how dangerous he is” harry said defensively. you have to admit, hermiones plan is smart and is probably the most realistic one there is.

“it’s okay harry” you soothed him. “i’ll be fine, hermiones plan makes the most sense” you said.

“so what’s the plan?”

I just hope she don't wanna leave me

Don't you give me up, please don't give up

Honey, I belong with you, and only you, baby

“love, i still don’t think this is a good idea, what if you get hurt?” harry said as you two were cuddled on his bed together in the boys dorm, basking in each others warmth and security.

“he won’t hurt me harry, he’s a boy just like you— i’m sure if he is a deatheater he isn’t handling it as well as you think. i’ll be okay” you said. a soft silence stilled between the two of you as you enjoyed being wrapped up in your boyfriends arms, occasionally rubbing your nose against his just to hear his giggle that you love so much.

“i’ve just lost a lot of people, i don’t want you to be one of them. if something were to happen to you i’d light the world on fire and never let a flame touch you, just to keep you safe.” he said with a certain look of truth, loyalty and despair swimming in his eyes as he looked at you.

“i’m not going anywhere harry, i promise. i love you, only you” was the last thing you said before the both of you fell asleep, body parts tangled with eachother.

Only you, my girl, only you, babe

Only you, darling, only you, babe

Only you, my girl, only you, babe

Only you, darling, only you

it’s been 3 days since that night with harry, and since then you’ve been trying to get closer to draco, but every time you tried he seemed to disappear. tonight you decided you’d wander outside of the slytherin common room in hopes of him showing up.

“what are you doing here, don’t you belong with the other gryffindors and saint potter?”

there he was. the voice you’ve been waiting to hear all week.

“i’ve grown quite bored of them right now, i figured i need a little excitement in my life. which is exactly why i am here, wandering outside the slytherin common room hoping there’s someone here to cure my boredom.” you said trying to sound as convincing as possible.

“get to the point y/n” he said walking closer to you. “what do you really want? is potter not fulfilling your needs anymore?” he smirked as he backed you against the wall, caging your frame beneath his.

“harry and i are fine, thank you very much” you rolled your eyes. “he’s just too busy right now”

“so you think i’m the cure to your boredom” draco said raising his brows, curious as to where this conversation is leading too.

“i know you’re the cure to my boredom.”

Something bad is 'bout to happen to me

Why I feel this way I don't know maybe

I think of her so much it drives me crazy

I just don't want her to leave me

you and draco have been hanging out every night since that day. some days he’d be there and you’d both talk until the sun rise, and others he wouldn’t show.

you knew you had to ask him about it soon for harry’s sake but you couldn’t bring yourself to do so, atleast not tonight.

“what do you mean you haven’t found out yet? you’ve been spending almost every night with him— which you could be spending with me by the way, and you still found out nothing about him. what do you even do then?” harry exclaimed, clearly frustrated over the lack of information and the fact that his girlfriend has been hanging out with the enemy.

“i can’t just straight up ask him harry!” you say a bit louder than intended. “he has to trust me first, and how can i build that trust with him if we don’t hang out. all we do is talk, i promise.” you said, your voice softening as you weren’t in the mood to argue with your boyfriend right now.

“can we just go to sleep please, i miss you” you pleaded.

“yeah, yeah we can” he said pulling you towards him in his bed, allowing your head to rest in the crook of his neck inhaling his scent. a scent that used to be so familiar but you can feel being replaced.

“it’s only me right?” he asked staring towards his ceiling.

“yes harry, it’s only you. i love you.” you said reassuring him, but also reassuring yourself.

Don't you give me up, please don't give up

Honey, I belong with you and only you, baby

“draco, can i ask you something” you asked looking towards him as he sat on the other side of you looking at the stars on from the astronomy tower.

“what is it?” he responded.

“how come sometimes you don’t show up, some days i’ll sit here waiting for you to show up and you never do. i miss you” you said softly, hoping you can get some information out of him.

“it’s cute that you miss me, i’d be lying if i said sometimes i didn’t miss your presence as well.” he said turning towards you and sending you a smirk. crawling over to him and resting your head on his shoulder, you relaxed against him.

“you know i don’t think you’re as bad as harry makes you out to be” you admitted. it’s true though, harry makes him out to be someone vain, however you find his presence comforting. you look forward to the nights you spend with him, more than you’d like to admit. “you’re quite nice when you want to be and are really good company” you explained.

“oh yeah?” he turned to you.

“yeah” you nodded. “i think harry is blinded by hate, he doesn’t know i’ve been hanging out with you and i’m sure if he were to find out he’d think you’re hurting me.” you partly lied.

“but i don’t think you could hurt me even if you tried” you said peering up at him with a soft smile and big genuine eyes. he adored the sight but he’d never admit it.

“i dont think your boyfriend would appreciate you talking about him like this to his enemy, now would he love?” draco said with a smirk. he knew over the past few weeks you’ve been hanging out your love for harry has been fading, even if you haven’t seen it yourself.

“draco” you said breaking the soft silence. “i have something to confess”

“well what is it?” he said, turning towards you giving you his full attention.

“do you think it’s wrong for someone to feel something for someone they’re not supposed to feel for” you asked, staring into his stormy grey eyes.

“i feel like i should feel guilty, but i don’t. if anything i feel safe.” you continued.

“what do you mean by that?” draco asked, taking his hand and slowly caressing your cheek encouraging you to continue.

when he touched you it felt as if the stars were dancing across your skin. you haven’t felt that way with harry in a while. it felt as if you could be anything in the world, and for some reason, you wanted to be his.

“is it wrong that when i’m with you, i get the same feeling i used to feel with him” you asked. “i mean, for some reason i can’t seem to stay away from you, and i don’t think i want too. i feel safe with you”. you said softly, hoping he understood what you meant.

“i used to think i was crazy meeting up with you every night, but i think it’s the best decision i’ve ever made.” he expressed. “you’ve become something i look forward too everyday, someone i seek out in crowds without even realizing it. i don’t think i want to stay away from you either” he finished.

the air stilled between you two, the only sounds heard were the soft winds of the night.

“draco… can i kiss you?” you asked.

“if you do, i don’t think i’d be able to stop” he confessed.

“and what if i don’t want you to stop” you said leaning closer and pressing your lips against his.

his lips were soft. slightly cold but it was addictive. kissing him felt so good, you might have even forgot how to breathe, but breathing wasn’t important in that moment.

“i’ve waited— i’ve waited so long for this, but i didn’t want to ruin what you and saint potter had” he said as he pulled you to straddle his lap and you pressed harsh kisses against his neck, craving to feel him.

“you didn’t ruin a thing” you said in between kisses. “i ruined it the day i decided to seek you out outside your common room” you continued breaking the kiss.

“i’m glad you did” he said resting his forehead against yours.

Only you, my girl, only you, babe

Only you, darling, only you, babe

Only you, my girl, only you, babe

Only you, darling, only you

whatever you had going on with draco continues for months, hidden kisses between classes and tangled limbs in his bed at night.

the only problem was harry.

“as much as i’d love to brag about stealing potters girlfriend to everyone, i don’t think i can do that” draco said as you both laid in bed together in each others embrace.

“i know, but i can’t leave him yet. it’s just not the right time” you said turning to face him.

“i know” he said turning towards you. “if anything, i enjoy sneaking around with you” he says as he presses light kisses to your neck.

“what are you thinking about” he asks as he notices you’re not paying attention to him.

“harry’s probably wondering where i am, i should probably go to him” you said sadly.

“just be back tomorrow, alright?”

“i’ll always come back to you draco, i promise” you said pressing a kiss to his lips and heading to the gryffindor common room.

What if she's fine

It's my mind that's wrong

And I just let bad thoughts

Linger for far too long

“you’ve been out quite a bit haven’t you” ron said as you entered the common room. his eyes, hermione’s and harry’s eyes all on you.

“i’ve just been trying to get the information you wanted from him” you lied as you took a seat next to hermione.

“we’ll have you gotten anything?” she asked

“no, i haven’t. i don’t think hes a deatheater, i mean it’s been months since i’ve been hanging with him— he would have told me by now” you explained.

“what do you mean he doesn’t trust you, all you do is be with him and stare at each other in class. i wouldn’t be surprised if he had a bloody crush on you by now” harry said quite aggressively.

“we only talk, i’ve told you that already” you said sternly even though it was a lie.

“how about we all go to sleep and discuss this in the morning, it’s quite late” ron said trying to diffuse the tension.

“i agree, it’s too late and none of us are thinking straight” hermione added on to ron’s statement and going straight to the girls dorm, ron going to the boys dorm.

Don't you give me up, please don't give up

Honey, I belong, with you, only you, baby

you and harry were left in the common room alone, the sound of fire crackling becoming more evident and loud as you tried to avoid his gaze.

“i’m sorry for lashing out like that” he said breaking the silence. “i know you and malfoy have nothing going on, i guess i’ve just missed you.”

“i missed you too harry” you said looking over to him.

“c’mere” he said tugging you towards him so you sit on his lap. “i love you, y’know. i don’t think i’d be able to do any of this without you” he continued looking into your eyes with a look of desperation of love.

a look you couldn’t return.

“i love you too harry, only you.” the lies came out your mouth before you could even stop them.

“only you, i promise.”

Only you, my girl, only you, babe

Only you, darling, only you, babe

Only you, my girl, only you, babe

Only you, darling, only you

-

taglist: @mauvea @teenwolfbitches28 @ilygw @nic0lodean @s1ater @henqtic @justreadingficsdontmindme @i-love-scott-mccall @harmqnia @gwlvr @alishahpotter

[bnhaficsforthesoul]

Shiggy headcanons because he <3

warning: some nsfw and I say when it starts

okay first off, yes please help him take care of his skin but be nice about it, he is self conscious about his skin and will think you think hes ugly if you dont bring it up right- best way to go about it is say that you know it bothers him and makes him uncomfortable physically and mentally and you want to help him and you think that these products could help

cause he appreciates you looking out for him a lot

it also helps if you do a skin care routine with him! he thinks of it as a fun bonding time for the both of you and you being there in the habit of doing it everyday helps to remind him to do it everyday

at the beginning he could be very selfish and demanding of you (mainly of your attention and time) while also not giving you much in return- he didnt mean to, he legitimately has no idea what a healthy relationship looks like, all he knows is that he craves your attention and love but doesnt know how to give it back and is scared to anyways

you're really gonna have to be patient with him, help him to understand that you need to be given affection as well and that relationships require work from both sides - hell take everything you say very seriously because he doesnt want to disappoint you

he opens up in odd increments, hell go from you cannot know anything about me to heres my life story in 10 minutes, leaves out details here and there that hell save for another time, but hes not trying to trauma dump or anything its just so healing for him to be able to get it out to a positive outlet that sometimes he can give you a bit much without warning, but of course you want to help him so you comfort him as best you can

so scared of touching you, at first hes wary even with wearing gloves because just what if - what if something goes wrong and suddenly you're gone, he cant handle that

but he slowly gets there, first getting more comfortable with just you touching him and then hell carefully link his pinky with yours or press your foreheads together, small things that you learn to love

when he learns to control his quirk to the point of not having to worry about this anymore, he excitedly runs up to you hands out and just grabs you, let's his hands run all over your body in the most innocent way possible, for the first time he can actually feel you fully and hes so in love

if anyone even dared to hurt you he would kill them without a second thought, you are without question the most important thing on this planet, nothing else matters

he can be extremely possessive, but it's mainly because hes terrified you'll leave. he doesnt think hes attractive or has a good personality or any good redeeming qualities, he has no idea why someone as perfect as you would even consider looking in his direction, but he never wants you to leave

god he loves kisses. so much. could kiss you for the rest of eternity and would never get bored. when you pull away he will chase your lips and pull you in again

tell him hes gorgeous please. he needs to hear it, he has no idea how genuinely beautiful he is :(

he loves when you wear his clothes. they're more than likely all very dirty, especially if you wear them long enough to get them to smell like you because he wont wash them just to keep the smell (so you're probably gonna have to wash his clothes and help him to get into the habit of doing so), but he thinks you're so gorgeous in his clothes. its probably another aspect of him being possessive and liking things that make it obvious that you're with him, but he wouldnt mind if you stole everything in his closet

loves having you seated on his lap, especially during important meetings. yeah, hes got the hottest s/o on the planet, no one else can have them, cope.

seriously he loves showing off that you're with him he will brag endlessly if the situation allows it

loves playing video games with you of course, at first you were lucky to be able to be seated at his side and watch as he played, but now he got you your own special controller and cant wait to continue playing whatever 2 player game he can find

he gets you really cute gifts, probably stolen or things he found laying around, but they're always so soft - the sweetest gift he ever gave you was one of his old plushies that he keeps in his room, he washed it and everything for you and gave it to you so that even when hes not there you have something of him

loves when you play with his hair, it's probably tangled 90% of the time because he cant be bothered to even think about brushing his hair but will let you brush it for him and run your fingers through it and everything

though he does whine when you accidentally brush too hard and pull on his hair harshly, but his hair is seriously tangled and the brush might get stuck in it unless you're brushing it often

wants to protect you from the world. hes so worried about you constantly, he doesnt know what hed do if something happened to you, but if you're out hes always got an eye on you if hes not physically holding onto you

not a relationship thing but I just gotta throw in my nonbinary he/they Shiggy headcanon :)

I was trying to keep this mainly sfw but I just gotta include some nsfw, poor baby is extremely horny. mega horny 24/7. he probably wants to fuck you as soon as you start dating

whether you do or not is up to you, but just know he is not experienced at all. hes watched insane amounts of porn but quickly realizes that he cant use that as a basis for what to actually do with you, so you're gonna have to teach him a lot. even if you're inexperienced as well, you'll probably have a better idea generally than he does

after a lot of practice and semi embarassing moments, he gets pretty good at sex honestly. he genuinely wants to make you feel good and will listen to everything you say. hes very open to everything you want to try too

hes got some more extreme kinks that many people wouldnt be willing to even try, and he respects if you dont want to go into them because again he wants you to enjoy yourself

hell sub a lot at the beginning of your sex life because hes confused and you're probably taking the lead on things, but as he gets more confident that he actually knows what hes doing he goes more and more into being a dom - can and will still sub if you want him to, but generally ends up domming

[milqueandsugar]

🏵 Your Tea Is Ready 🏵

Parts:

https://milqueandsugar.tumblr.com/post/643788553154920448/can-you-techno-with-a-reader-who-is-constantly

https://milqueandsugar.tumblr.com/post/643889114110918656/idk-if-this-is-where-you-put-requests-but-do-you

Warnings: mentions of violence, blood, injury

Genre: Angst

| Hear No Evil, Do No Evil |

After your second kind of a date kind of not a date your very cateful around Techno

Every part of you tells you your being paranoid, but the other knows that theres something he isn't telling you

You know the piglin to well not to know when he's lying

And you care to much to ignore it

Convinced he's done something to upset you Techno doesn't search for your company like he used to

Something both him and the voices aren't very happy about

Being in love is a new emotion for him, he loves Philza sure, he loves Steven but he's never been IN love

He never realized how different those statements were before

Just like when he goes to many days without a kill the voices begin to get louder and louder, only this time he had no idea how to please them

Before he had lost everything he could lose he used to lock himself away during these fits

Know that he knows himself better, and how to control himself, he just goes around slaying any animal that crossed paths with him

Not the most elegant solution but it brought more peace to his mind

Now with no idea how to get the voices quiet he's resorted to quite literally trapping himself in his bunker

He know's your upset

He's convinced himself it's because of him

Theres no way in hell he's going to see you when all he can think about is how good you smell, how your smile makes his frozen heart melt, how soft your skin is compared to his own, how lovingly you adjust his clothes or armour after battle

All the while he scars the stone ground with his claws, chanting mantras alongside unheard voices

It had been a good two weeks since you had heard from the piglin. Not entirely unusual for you, as you rather detested the cool weather up in the arctic. However knowing there was some sort of conflict between you and your best friend made you restless at night, you couldn't keep ignoring him. He didn't deserve that, plus you missed Philza's morning tea, the smell of campfires that clung to everything in his house, the way Steve would bring sticks for you to toss. You missed the magnificent bastards that made up the Antarctic empire. More importantly, you missed Technoblade.

By the time you reached the cabin you had noticed it was unusually still. Steve and Carl were out in the yard, mosing about but there was no sign of Technoblade or Philza. They were both pretty hard workers, stubborn as hell as well, seeing as it was half past twelve you would expect the two of them to be running around doing chores. Surprisingly however it was still, perhaps they had things inside to do? Or maybe they took your suggestion for a lunch break a bit more seriously then expected.

Entering the cabin you call out for them, nothing, looking around you couldn't help but notice how much of a mess everything was. You had only ever seen the house in this much disarray before they traveled, or that time Phil let a creeper into the house and things got fucken wild. But, if traveling was the case why was Carl out front? And why was Techno's sword hung up on the mantle.

And unsettling feeling began to creep over your shoulders as you slowly begin to pick up the clutter. You couldn't come up with a reasonable explanation for things, so you decided to wait until you could come up with one or was given one. The sun had long set before Phil arrived at the house, clearly surprised to find you still sorting through chests. Clearly worried as well.

You turn to greet the man but are quickly cut off, "what are you doing here?" He ushers quickly shitting the door behind him. "I was looking for Technoblade, why is something happening? Is the butcher gang back?" You explain, chest tightening with unease. Something was seriously wrong. "No, no nothing like that we aren't in any danger. Technoblade is having another fit, he's not doing very well at the moment. It might be best for you to leave" Phil warned, his usual cheerful voice dripping with a nervousness you hadn't heard from him in a long time. You wave off the older gentleman scoffing, "Phil you're forgetting I used to go hunting with him I've seen him pretty bad-" "He's locked himself in his bunker. He doesn't even trust himself anymore, he won't eat nor sleep, whatever he has going on in his head is far more then the two of us can handle at the moment" Phil cut you off. You stood in shock, he locked himself away? Technoblade hasn't done that in.. years! What the hell was going on with him.

You wanted to believe Phil was lying to you, that Technoblade was off terrorizing villagers and he was just buying his companion time. But the genuine look of fear in his emerald eyes made your stomach sink. "He's not well Y/N, I certainly don't want him to come back to you dead or injured. He'll come through eventually, just not right now. " The blonde approached you and wrapped strong arms around your shoulders, you hadn't even realized that you were crying until he began to shush you.

"Listen, listen, stay the night here. It's too late for you to travel especially in this sort of weather, in the morning I'll take you back home, I'll let you know immediately when hes better" He assures you, pulling away to cup your face in his hands and wipe your tears with his thumbs. "Let's get you to bed, come on, let's go." Fatherly wasn't something you saw much in Phil anymore, but you couldn't deny how comforting it was, if not a bit embarrassing to have the man tuck you into Techno's sheets before turning out the lamp.

As you lay in the blood God's bed, listening intently to the sound of the howling wind you began to scheme. Something you did best was planning, and this night was no different. You had no idea how long Techno had been like this, if you had the time to curse yourself for avoiding him you would, but for the moment you just needed to make sure he wasn't dead. Slipping from his bedroom and past Phil's you gather a plate of rather light food, knowing he'd get sick if he ate something to heavy.

Stealing one of the Piglins cloaks you shield the food with your arms as you sneak our of the house. You knew Philza only had your best interest at heart, but he should have known better then to tell you your friend was in danger. Especially when that friend was less then a brisk walk away. By the time you get to the false wall your already shivering, the wind nipping at anything it could get at. Your nose was already beginning to run as you hit the disguised button and the wall drops.

At first you see nothing, the darkness and the snow fall blinding you to the scene in front of you. Stepping into what little shelter the cave provided you struggled to steady yourself after stepping on what looked to be the remains of a netherite chestplate. Hung up on the fact that he broke netherite with supposedly his bare hands you don't realize the Piglin lunging at you until your buried in the snow. Plates long discarded and broken you stare the husk of the man you knew in his wild eyes.

Almost like you could read the voices chants of your demise in the pools of ebony fear seemed to strike you harder then his fist. You heard your ribs breaking before you felt them, thank God for adrenaline. You felt nauseous, sick even as you blindly scratch and push at the weight on top of you. Grabbing a tusk by its base you pull left as hard as you can, taking his moment of unbalance to scramble away. Your hands grope for any sort of hold in the snowbank, desperate to get away from the beast on top of you. You dont make it far however before claws tear at the clothes and skin around your ankles, pulling you towards them with little care. Your screams of pain and/or fear are cut short by clawed hands tightening around your throat. Your pathetically small ones meet his, scratching desperately at the exposed hand with one while the other grabs a fist full of snow and smashes it into his face.

The white of the snow falling around you seemed denser then before, you felt cold, to your very bone under him. Under his stare. You've looked death before in the eyes, more then on one occasion, and you had never remembered them being so beautiful. For a split second you swear you hear another voice being carried by the wind, peeling your tear welled eyes from the piglin on top of you the fall towards the direction of the cabin, then at the shards of netherite. You had looked death in the eyes before, and you had yet to die. You weren't going to now.

Grabbing the shard and effectively slicing your hand open in the process you blindly begin to swing. Your chest burns, your skin burns, your vision is beginning to dim to nothing, all you can hear is the wind. Your stabs, or attempts at stabbing does little, with what minuscule amount of consciousness you have in yourself you get one finally blow, to somewhere before you cant feel anything anymore. You had never imagined death to feel so cold.

Technoblade's eyes begin to fall back into focus, pain driving the voices in his head silent as he looks down at the shard of netherite in his arm. More importantly his eyes fall onto a golden ring on the hand belonging to his attacker. A bear etched into its surface. That was Y/N's ring, he had given it to her for christmas. Anger flooding his chest he grinds his teeth, hands tightening around their neck. What right do they have to be wearing your ring? Dark eyes fall back down onto their attacker, bloodied and bruised.. and Y/N. His heart sunk faster then an anvil in a lake, scrambling backwards from your limp body he cant decide whether to look at you or his hands covered in your blood. No, no it couldn't be you, you were.. you were mad at him why would you come up? Why would you attack him?

Crawling to his side he lifted you into his arms, inspecting you closely. This had to be some sort of trick, some sort of lie? No, no you would never attack him you loved him, he loved you! That's why he was like this he was like this because he loved you! Scared lips began to quiver, and tears began to fall and subsequently freeze to his cheeks. No, no, no.

He couldn't think, his mind flooded with the screaming of the voices in his head, begging him to save you, to help you, to hold you. For once in his life he didnt know how, he couldn't save you. He had always been your knight in shining armour, and he cant save you.

He can't save you.

[neovrse]

PART TWO OF THIS

[9:24pm] — to say jisung was just ignoring you would be an understatement at best. whenever you ran into him at school or in the hallway after dance practices, he avoided his eyes like you were a plague

was it because you were a bad kisser? couldn’t be when he kissed you backed with just the same amount of pressure

you mind was racing with scenarios as to why the boy wanted to suddenly avoid you since the kiss

“maybe it’s because he likes you so much he doesn’t know how to tell you” your member seri said as she sat infront of you cross legged

you and your group were all sitting in a circle talking about your current situation. knowing jisung and his group were not in the building you guys spoke freely about your current dilemma

“i don’t think that’s it. jisung and i have known eachother forever. if he liked me, i would’ve realized” you brushed off as your members looked at eachother rolling their eyes at how on oblivious you were

“sweetie, it’s as clear as day that you guys have feelings for eachother” the oldest member, yeonju spoke up with a small smile on her lips

“that’s not it- dont lie to us we know you like him” seri cut you off as she poked your side peasy fully

“i don’t know. these last couple days made me realize that i do have feelings for him but what if he doesn’t like me back?” you hung your head low, feeling the pain of rejection lingering in your chest

“trust me, he likes you back. stop waiting for him to make the move i say you go over there and let that boy know how you feel” yeonju exclaimed causing you to stare at her, this was out of character for her

“but-no buts. i don’t want to see you sulking around the dorm anymore” yeonju sternly said as you sent her a small smile at her words of encouragment

the whole walk to the dorm was you mapping out what exactly to say to jisung as soon as you saw him

you didn’t know whether to kiss him or smack him because of how rude he is for ghosting you after he was the one proposed a kiss between the two of you

as you stalked closer and closer to the dorm, you felt rain droplets fall onto your head. just your luck

the rain was enough to make you want to turn on your heels and run all the way back home. but you were too close to back out now

you cursed at yourself for just wearing a long t-shirt and joggers but in your defence the sky was clear when you walked out of the buliding

maybe this was case of pathetic fallacy, predicting your doomed faith with your bestfriend

you decided not to worry and just face jisung head on and whatever happens, happens right?

ten years of friendship can’t be ruined because of your feelings for him, right?

at this point you had no idea

but you were out of time. as you entered the apartment complex you rain your hands through your completely soaked hair to atleats make yourself look somewhat appealing

you went up the stairs because they only lived on the second floor but as soon as you got to their door, you were hesitant on what to do when you saw your bestfriend

should you just act as if nothing happened or actually confess your longtime coming feelings for him or should you just leave and let things take it’s course?

you decided on the last option

you began to walk back down the hallway but froze as you heard jaemin’s familiar voice call you from down the hall

“hey. sweetheart what are you doing here and you are all wet too?” jaemin asked as he walked up to you and turned you around to face him

“uh i came to see jisung but i forgot i left something at the dorm. so i will get going” you said as you tried to walk away until you felt jaemin’s hand clasp around you wrist

“i’m sure whatever you left can wait. come warm up” jaemin sounded genuinely worried for you so you didn’t want to hurt the poor boys feeling

when you entered the dorm. you saw all the boys except jisung sitting on the couch watching a drama

you waved at them as they looked at you with wide eyes, “what happened to you? don’t tell me you walked in the rain” renjun spoke up

“i-i did but it’s no big d-“ you were cut off by jisung walking into the living room and seeing you drenched from head to toe

“whoa” jisung said with his mouth hung up, did you come all the way here for him?

jisung was aware he was avoiding you but it was for a good reason

he felt like you never saw him as anything more than just a bestfriend so after the kiss he had no idea how he was suppose to face you, after he practically confirmed his feelings for you

the boys were giving hell for ignoring you, “jisung, we are telling you this ‘cause we love you. stop being so stupid” chenle stated which was responded to with a shove to his side

jisung was just as shocked as his members, seeing you shiver infront of him

without saying another word, he walked over to you and grabbed you hand to bring you into his room

this obviously wasn’t the first time you found yourself in jisung’s room but it was the first time you felt butterflies in your stomach as you trudged into the room

jisung let go of your hand as he walked towards his dresser and pulled out a set of loungewear

“you shouldn’t walk in the rain. here” he said simply as he handed you the clothes

his eyes were practically boring into your soul as he starred at your sunken figure

“uh jisung” you spoke as you cleared your throat

“yeah” he spoke softly still looking at you with so much admiration even with the way you looked right now

“c-could you uh turn around?” you didn’t know why it was so awkward right now

“ah” jisung realized as he spun around. he couldn’t help how anxious he was feeling. he could hear his own heartbeat through his ears

you quickly changed and cleared your throat

“i’m done”

jisung nodded as he turned around and sat down on his bed. instead of following him you, stood up awkwardly as if you were waiting for some sort of cue

“jisung”

he hummed in response

“jisung” you said once more as he focused on you

if you were going to confess this would be your only chance you let him now how you truly felt

“i came here because i needed to tell you something” you held you hands at your side as you swayed from side to side, like usually did whenever you were anxious

“okay” jisung nodded as he patted the spot beside him on his bed

you slowly walked over and made sure to keep a small amount of between the two of you

you fidgeted with your hands. jisung hated when you didn’t look at him so he reached over and grabbed your hands from your lap to place them in his

“hey, you are my bestfriend. you can tell me anything” you heart clenched at the word bestfriend but you ignored it as you let out a breathe

here it goes

“i like you, jisung. i like you so much that it’s been eating me alive these last couple weeks. i like the way you smile whenever you eat your favourite foods. i like the way you always make sure i have eaten. i like the way you hold me whenever all this idol stuff gets too much for me. i like the way you call me whenever you see something you think i would like. i like everything about you park jisung and i don’t know if my heart can handle keeping all of my feelings for you inside so i just had to let you know” you finished your confession with tears pooling at your eyes

who knew you would fall so hard for you own bestfriend?

jisung remained silent but his eyes never wavered from yours

“you mean that?” he whispered as he brought his hand to your cheek and brushed your warm cheeks with the pad of his thumb

“of course i do you idiot” you exclaimed while pouting, how could he be so dense

“your the idiot who didn’t realized that i have liked you since we were ten” jisung showcased his wide smile as you sucked in another breath

“what?! but-“ you were stopped as you felt josubg’s familar lips on yours for the second time

it felt like it was a century since the last first kiss you shared with the boy. this time it was slower. both of you had the same idea to savour the moment rather than rush it

jisung pulled you down towards him as he fell back onto his sheets. it wasn’t anything sexual or rushed. jisung touched like you were a delicate flower, being as gentle as he could be to make sure you did not fall apart

your chests were pressed against one another and your hands made their way into his hair. jisung’s large hands hovered over your waist until you use your free hand to guide his hand to your waist

after a few more moments the two of you pulled bald from air. you kept your hands in his hair, lightly brushing it out of his face to get a clear view of his face

“i want this. i want to be with you. will you please be my girlfriend?” jisung looking at with pleading eyes

“i would love to” you said as you captured his lips with yours once again

[relaxxattack]

(i dont care to do c! tags bc theres. so many characters. if i dont say cc! then im talking abt the characters) normally i am not one to think much about the syndicate bc outside of ranboo being there to protect tubbo the syndicate Frustrates me a bit but. if phil starts to realize just how fucked over tubbo got by schlatt being erased from the narrative (and especially how shittily techno has treated tubbo) then i really hope they lean into like. the fact that the syndicate may soon turn into phil, niki, ranboo, and possibly the mystery member (im including mystery member mostly because i think tubbo is on good terms with almost everyone except like. dream, possibly wilbur but we'll see, and like the eggpire ppl but none of them are likely options but it is possible that the mystery member could just be neutral) all like. wanting tubbo to be safe and phil is *just* reasonable enough that i think he'd realize how unfair it is for tubbo to have been subjected to so much shit just for techno to introduce even more fear and the need to hide in his life

like phil already keeps the bee duo marriage and michael a secret, he lets tubbo come over and while of course its mostly from the semi lore vibes phil seems vaguely fond of tubbo already (i dont think phil and tubbo have father/son vibes tho, more just like. tubbo is just That Kid that adults cant help but adore even though the kid will rob them of house and home. slightly amused elder watching a tiny fucking gremlin make sex jokes and talk about soviet russia), niki from what i remember still cares about tubbo (probably because she cant redirect any anger towards him without realizing how unjustified it would be kcnsks she can come up with excuses for hating tommy but tubbo didnt do anything that niki has a problem with outside of her maybe having a bad view on butcher army if she knows about it?), ranboo is. ranboo. i dont need to clarify. and then like said theres a very low possibility of the fifth member *disliking* tubbo or being unable to sympathize with him.

people talk a lot about how techno needs to lose in a way that he cant easily come back from without introspection and i think while the rest of the syndicate standing up for tubbo would increase technos grudge against tubbo initially its also like. something that i think would maybe force techno to see tubbo as a person because now theres nothing techno can box (haha gettit. tubbox tubbo in a box tubbo getting boxed into certain roles by people who refuse to let him out techno esp doin this teehoo) tubbo into that wouldnt just. acknowledge that tubbo is a person. hes not apart of the government anymore, not planning any failed revolution, the most negative title to his name is being one of the nuke makers but even then thats out of fear and safety and techno knows that. otherwise tubbos current crimes are nothing thats special to tubbo (like. stealing and searching for evidence in ppls homes and stuff, the latter of which techno doesnr even know about). right now tubbos a husband, a father, a friend, a kid, *ex*-government, a person. and just.

i think that with how much foreshadowing about tubbos execution no longer being a secret amongst the witnesses and tubbo himself and soon being something that people close to techno like phil and ranboo know about as well (in that i want phil to learn that techno did it and for ranboo to learn about it in general bc hes just biased enough for tubbo and just smart enough that i think even if somehow he wasnt told who did it he could figure it out), and with the fact that tubbos lore has been confirmed to now be something thats actively going to be played into? i think (or at least hope) that it might spur phil and techno into finally seeing tubbos side of the story (and probably also get into the possibility of tubbo opening up to tommy and ranboo but i do think realistically either tubbo will try to play it off/not truly open up about how much its effected him or tubbo will at first shut down or go into complete repression mode, especially if phil and ranboo get the story from other people rather than tubbo himself [but god do i hope they confront tubbo himself]. either those two or tubbo talks about his emotions through fucking snapping at something/someone like he did at quackity when reminded of his execution, which as long as its Not tommy or ranboo ill absolutely be cheering on him for)

which is all a very convoluted way of saying uhh. *grabby paws at the ccs currently involved in the arc of clearing up personal misconceptions about l'manberg (and especially tubbos involvement and how easily those around him judged him based off of their versions of the story)* tubbo lore? tubbo healing tubbo talking about his problems? characters learning to see him as a person and recognizing how traumatized he is and that hes not uneffected but actively repressing any effects? please? (also ending note as the cherry on top of this essay that im sorry for dropping into your inbox: im kind of glad that tommys healing arc and tubbos possible healing arc are going to happen at similar times but are still separate. something something its nice to see acknowledgement that tommy and tubbo wont heal in the same way and arent going to know how to help each other but theyre still going through it together. their arcs are intertwining without removing their individuality and as someone w major co-dependency issues its kind of nice idk. you can be there for someone and still acknowledge that you have your own things to go through too and that while you wont be alone you shouldnt force those around you to support you. the bench trio are all helping each other out of free will and genuine love for each other while still realizing they have some problems they arent ready to talk about yet that arent forced to the open because theyre all doing their best to handle each other with care and i just. bench trio my beloveds. the kids are alright.) -🎭🎪 (also as the actual end note if theres ever a need to refer to me as something other than the emojis mask or eyez works fine but the idea of my name being the emojis is also Very Funny to me so do what you will)

im working on my aperture camera college assignment rn and my brain is sort of fried so i dont have an intelligent answer, but i got the happy chemical reading this.

yeah. i think we all know here that my favorite character is tubbo, and i REALLY hope we get him addressing anything that’s happened to him in canon. pretty much all of what you said sounds very good. *grabby hands* spare tubbo lore? please? spare tubbo lore?

perhaps during the three weeks wilburs off in the fucking woods (/lh) we could have a the-others-find-out-what-happened-to-tubbo-(and in DETAIL)-arc. pleaseeeeeeeee and ty

[harley-style]

mcyt brain rot for you all

this is both anysis and headcanon and au scenario, all blended together. you're welcome :D

----------

i have this headcanon,,,, cobbled together by some tumblr posts i read,,,, but some of them point out that wilbur is like, good at manipulating people as well to a point, right?

so i was thinking. what if his reach extended far beyond what anyone thought of? *what if wilbur's influence spread to dream?*

i know we've discussed this before (or sparrow analyzed it idk) but like. hear me out. this headcanon has to do with how wilbur wants to create a narrative. pit it against dream and his presumed original desires to create a safe happy place for his friends. wilbur's insistence that dream is the "tyrant". what if wilbur saw how dream was pointedly staying out of conflict, decided, "i dont like that," and began twisting the storyline and pulled dream's strings (pointedly off camera bc headcanons, babyyyy) so that dream would eventually fall into ruin, as the disgraced tyrant?

and dream...he KNOWS what wilbur's doing. to him specifically. and he's struggling so hard at the beginning, judging by his soft, passive demeanor when wilbur asks about the tnt.

i think, that somewhere along the line, dream lost sight of where his boundaries lied, and falls right into wilbur's plot pit and became The Villain. and he's like, fuck. I went and done it, oh no.

and....it worsens.

i had this whole scenario in my head that dream fully embraces the villain role, plays wilbur's game and completes the "narrative"...but is so fed up with wilbur and his stupid fucking ploys that he...bends the rules a little. changes shit up.

something...oh, a little like "lets speedrun my fall into villainy" bc it wouldn't be dream without the speedrun.

fast forward to prison. maybe if dream finally gets to resurrect wilbur. and wilbur is Not Pleased with how dream has decided to handle his narrative.

but its like. dream doesn't give two shits about wilbur's goddamn narrative anymore. he **played wilbur's game**. he's done with his role. he's given them peace, given them a happy end.

sure, he's given the rest plenty of trauma, but hey, it all turned out okay in the end, right? theyve got their happy ending. theyve BEATEN the big bad nightmare. his role is OVER.

but wilbur doesnt like it. doesnt like the lengths dream went to. it wasn't supposed to be like this. dream wasn't supposed to turn out this much of a *monster.*

and dream laughs. "will, wilby, wilbur," he croons madly, in his pretty little cell, preening like a cat. "i dont care," he hisses. "you fucking wanted this. you WANTED me to be this way. right? mr. revolutionary man? come on now, dont tell me you never expected this."

and wilbur tries to protest, but dream cuts him off.

"no. NO. dont' play your stupid littke games on me wilbur. you udnerstand? im DONE. im so sick of your bullshit, your countries your wars and your stupid fucking "story". I WANTED PEACE AND SAFETY. ALL i asked was "hey, don't be jerks, we're all one big community," and you didn't even have the DECENCY to just adhere to those rules, not even a little bit! you -- i let you in here because of TOMMY, you know that? the reason you even got to BE in this world was because tommy "vouched" for you. said you would be a great addition. and tommy-- i loved that kid back then, you know? he was bright and annoying and he made the server FUN. you took that brilliance, took that kid, and turned him against me, against ALL of us -- for what? independence? I HANDED YOU INDEPENDENCE AND YOU SPAT IT IN MY FACE LIKE IT WAS THE MOST VILE THING YOUVE EVER RECEIVED. i didnt even ENFORCE my rules, they were so loose literally EVERYONE broke them at some point.

but you? you had the audacity to call me a tyrant. to call me selfish, greedy, controlling. and then you declared war. the pet wars, the first disc wars weren't even close to the intensity you brewed during the revolution.

you had this little ideal in your head. and ill have to hand it to you, it was certainly impressive. but you didnt need to press it, to pressure it on the people of my server. you did anyway. you created this plot, this scheme to paint me as the villain, as the final boss. and you know what? FINE! if this is what it takes for them to be safe and happy, i'll be the villain.

but don't come in here expecting me to play that role again. i DID my part. i united them. my work is over.

but you, wilbur? heh. you get to deal with ALL the consequences of your war games. you'll be the one dealing with tommy's nightmares, tubbo's anger, everyone's hatred, fuck, you even get to deal with the egg!! isnt that nice? i was willing to deal with the egg, you know, it appeared before the whole election thing. but since you're here, you may as well take over. because you're SO great at directing them, you know? better than i ever could.

point is, wilbur, you don't get to use me as the tyrant, the final boss, the bad guy, and the villain anymore. when i said i would be putting the most powerful person in here, I wasn't fucking lying!"

"but tommy said you were going to put him in there!"

"you know, with the amount of times ive practically lied to that kid, im surprised he still believed me. i was never planning to put him in here. no one else would be put in here. hell, even techno and phil would just have gotten stuck here for about a week. i had guidelines, you know. i put them in a book somehwere, in one of my bases. no one was supposed to get unfair treatment. unfortunately i seemed to have pulled the short end of thr stick. that seems to be all that im doing these days."

"dream—"

"no. don't do that. don't pull me into another one of your plots wilbur. i don't want to hear it. you got your villain. your villain is gone, wilbur.

it's time to be the hero. :)"

basically my points here are like.

-wilbur made a narrative that dream didnt agree with

-this narrative painted dream in a negative villian light so dream basically said "yeah fuck that" and spedran his role

-headcanons galore i really do like the idea of dream creating that prison for himself to be locked in

-once wilbur is back he visits dream and explains his displeasure that dream went and did the things he did bc 1) hurt a lot of people personally and 2) did not adhere to the villain role wilbur specifically assigned to dream

-additional mentions: both wanted peace but in different forms. dream wanted peace for peace's sake but wilbur wanted peace after struggles. dream genuinely loved everyone on the server, but had to shed those attachments because to him, PERSONALLY, it would be a weakness towards his "villainous" role. his threatening of tubbo in front of tommy so tommy can "be the hero like spiderman and batman" shows that he knows exactly how empowering attachments are. lastly, dream only began manipulating people after the pogtopia arc. he mostly stayed the neutral party during it, and was just reacting with plans among plans during the lmanburg revolution.

-additionally, wilbur really wanted to stay dead, but dream said "haha no" and alived him again bc if he has to be the one to inflict trauma onto people then wilbur has to suffer leading the efforts to recovery.

hi @dreamsclock u keep giving me brainrot so im tossing this at u thank u goodbye i hope u dont mind the tag

[fairycosmos]

lmao im actually so desperate to die im considering swallowing two peach pits just to see if i will choke to death because nothing else ive tried has worked so far . you know what my life doesnt fucking matter ill do it. with my luck it wont work i feel im being punished and thats why i cant die. ill do it. if i dont get back to you something happened but i doubt it. im tired like you said i deserve peace. we do. bye maybe i hope this works this is pathetic but im desperate to die

hey, i'm really sorry to hear you're feeling this way. it seems like you're totally overwhelmed right now and i completely understand how debilitating that can be. i know there's nothing i can do or say that will really change how awful it feels, and you're probably not in the headspace to read all this. but if you ever want to come back to it, it'll be here. maybe you could try some of these grounding exercises, here / here and here beforehand to get you in a place where you can focus a little. it's alright, there's no rush or pressure. i just wanted to say first of all that this is not pathetic in the slightest. sometimes the world gets on top of you and you go througn so much trauma and hurt that it really does feel like giving up is the only option. people can only take so much, and i get it. that's the trick of the suicidal brain though, i think. it uses life's suffering and your own past experiences to convince you that it is always going to be this way. to romanticize death and make it into something it isn't in your head. it is actually very hard to die, as i'm sure you know. and it's not the peaceful option or escape you're looking for, either. and the most paramount thing i want to say is that your life 100% does matter. this was never up for debate. you were born with an inherent worth and it hasn't went away just because you can no longer see it. you honestly can't fathom how you've impacted peoples lives, directly and indirectly, and even just the world itself. you don't have to be anybody but who you are, i promise, the whole point is just having the human experience you're having. you're fulfilling your purpose by existing, no matter how hard it is at times. i think it's a good sign that you reached out to me, i honestly think it shows that you have a lot of self awareness regarding what's going on and that you're truly capable of asking for the help that you need. you're not in a place right now where you can trust your thoughts and feelings, so it's good to seek an objective perspective from somebody else. this state of mind is so transient, it's so intense that it's not built to last. i'm not trying to downplay how unbelievably hard to live with, of course, but it can be freeing to acknowledge that this is not all there is, no matter how difficult it is to endure currently. you deserve to be here and to exist in a way that heals you, no matter what your mind is telling you. there can be a variety of underlying causes for suicidal feelings, and obviously they're very serious issues that need real medical attention in order to begin to overcome. but with that and with time, it is totally possible to learn to live a full live along side all you've been through. even though right now i'm sure that's the lastthhing on earth you want to do.

are you currently working with a mental health professional of any sort? your doctor, a therapist, a support group, even a hotline? if not, i would really urge you to get in touch with them as soon as possible. and if you already are, let them know where your thoughts are at lately so they can focus on upping your level of care. if you're worried about money, there are cost-effective choics available, like finding a therapist who offers a sliding scale price, or looking into mental health resources within your community. i know your brain is probably screaming at you to do the opposite, but i promise any baby step in the right direction is going to pay off. the prospect of reaching out and being honest is a daunting one, and i'm only bringing it up as something to consider at the moment (or when you feel able to) so please don't write it off all together. you don't have to do anything right now, just know you have options. you honestly do. and talking to someone really is not as bad as your brain is probably building it up to be. just like with physical illness, mental illness can be confronted and treated. it's all about learning how to manage your unique mind, and even if it takes a lifetime, it is so possible to lessen the frequency of episodes like this. or to become more prepared for them so they feel less erratic when they do occur. discussing about what you've been through, pinpointing root causes of your suicidal thoughts, learnng how to implement healthy coping mechanisms into your daily routine, building a support system, finding the medication for you if needed - all of this is going to make a tangible difference. it is not going to fix everything, obviously, but it is going to lighten the weight and broaden your perspective on yourself and on living. you deserve to be supported without judgement and with genuine care, you deserve to be listened to. there are a lot of people, professionals or otherwise, even just strangers like me, who are willing to filling that role for you.

idk how it is for you and i won't pretend to, but sometimes suicidal people don't want to lose their lives, they just want to stop living the way they are. with so much chaos and unresolved pain and exhaustion. you don't have to hurt yourself in order to get there. i know when you're in this mindset, any even slightly positive piece of advice just feels impossible to believe. but even if you can't seriously take it on board at the moment, i hope when you're in a more grounded place, you can at least consider as an alternative to absolute hopelessness. you may as well, because you are alive and that is not always going to feel like a curse. it is so hard to believe it, i get that, but it is a fundamental truth. you are in an extremely difficult moment but that is not your whole existence. the future is ever changing, and you've already made it through the past, so the only thing that really matters is this moment. focus on what you need, not what you want, but what you need to do right now to truly self - prioritize. even if that feels like the last thing on earth you want do. if self destruction and self harm was gonna make you feel better, it would've by now. welcome the idea of trying something new, maybe just the notion of attempting to guide yourself through this with a bit of self-compassion. please, if you feel like you are an immediate danger to yourself, please exercise any sense of self preservation/ survival instinct and call the authorities, a hotline or a friend/family member right away. no matter what bullshit your brain is telling you, no matter how heavy your heart is right now . everything is always always always changing and things are going to change beyond recognition, it's the one thing you can count on. you deserve to stick around to see it all, and once you've made the decision to do so, you won't feel so stuck and conflicted anymore. i'm going to leave some links that i think might help a little in this moment, but like i said, please call someone if you feel you can't be alone right now. i'm rooting for u a lot and i really hope you are able do the right thing for yourself. if it's all too hard, focus on getting through the next hour. if that's too much, the next minute. and if that's too much, the next second. break it down into what you can handle and let yourself live. and then just go from there. sending you all my love.

list of hotlines

coping with depression

coping with suicidal thoughts

so you feel like shit?

template for creating a safety plan

[loser-writings]

Kazuichi Souda Headcanons

{@sally-wonders​} (┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻ I JUST SAW THE DANGANRONPA STUFF AND I AM SCREAMING! dlsfhlfhksg I dont even know where to start, so, at first I was wondering if you have any headcanons for my man Kazuichi, I love him so much! I always wondered how he would be into an actually relationship, because the inflatuation he had with Sonia was a thing, but also serving to compensate in his low self steam, even if he was an ultimate, he also has the historic of abuse and bully by their piers and all  with the sharp teeth and pink hair to try and look cool and all that as well, also he would have to deal with all that happened in dispair island (what wouldnt i give to know how they dealt with that man :'3), especially acepting the fact that Sônia does not like him. Because of the whole dream girl with blonde hair and he kinda projects this idea of her instead of herself. Jqrjjgwrj sorry I babble a lot hehe

I hope you enjoy this long list of a variety of headcanons. These may not hit all of the points you were asking, but I hope this is satisfactory!

・・・・✪General Headcanons✪ ・・・・

Kazuichi is a very anxious person so he is constantly fiddling with something. Little electronics, his wrench or tools he has on hands, or his fingers. If he can’t mess with something, his anxiety goes through the roof.

He can read in English! He taught himself how to read English so he could read American comic books before they’re officially translated. He also can understand English since he watched so many English action movies. He can speak it, but it can be broken and his accent is very strong.

He can actually sew. Since he learned by watching his mom, he can fix and alter clothing. He can also sew and throw together blankets and stuffed animals. He actually owns a small sewing machine. It isn’t expensive or amazing by any means, but it can get the job done.

He spends a large chunk of his money on keeping up with his hair and keeping his contacts in check. His hair grows extremely fast so his roots show, and he has a horrible habit of sleeping in his contacts since he can’t stand his glasses. 

When you catch him off guard, he just lies about what he is doing. He doesn’t mean to, but it is just a natural reaction since his dad would get mad at him no matter what his answer was. Because of this, you have to give him a moment to calm down and go through the 3 different answers he has before he can actually say what’s going on. This also happens if he is on his computer or his phone. He naturally hides the screen, even if he is just looking at car parts or how to fix a certain thing.

He can be a bit perverted and oblivious to somebody's flaws if he finds himself becoming attracted to them. Despite this, he is honestly quite the sweetheart and would have a heart attack if somebody were to return his feelings. 

He has pretty bad trust issues and this can cause tension between him and others. This also causes him to believe things that aren’t always true based off of his distrust alone.

He doesn’t actually like his appearance, even after he changed it. He originally changed it to keep away bullies and get the attention of women, but when he looks in the mirror, he doesn’t exactly like it. He didn’t mind his black hair or his normal eye color, he just hated his glasses.

Will flinch if someone raises their hand at him because of his fathers past abuse. He can’t help but flinch, and this is horrible with men who are taller than him. Safe to say that Gundhams mannerisms and weird poses aren't appreciated.

・・・・✪Relationship Headcanons✪ ・・・・

As stated before if someone were to return his feelings, he would be so lost on what to do. He never had anybody treat him with much kindness and the fact that someone he admires likes him back is just mind boggling to him.

I headcanon him personally to be Bisexual. He may have a physical lea for women, but he does find himself genuinely attracted to men as well (@Hajime) I think the big thing that decides if he likes you or not is if he thinks he can trust you.

Due to the past abuse and issues regarding friends and classmates, he would need constant reassurance. He will have sudden doubts and will become extremely anxious at the idea of you leaving him for a variety of reasons. He will ask if you want him to change his appearance or something about his personality, and it never fails that he is shocked if you say you love how he is.

He can sometimes get lost in his childlike fantasies. He will change his personality at times and make himself believe things that aren’t true. The best thing to do when this happens is to just give him a quick kiss on the cheek and remind him that you are you, and not some fantasy. He will apologize and snap out of it (For the most part)

He isn’t the best at initiating things. He would do better with someone who is more willing to make the first move. Be the one to grab his hand to hold it, Open your arms so he can snuggle against your chest, Cup his cheeks to pull him into a sweet kiss, Open the door for him and press your hand against his lower back in public areas so he feels more calm. He really would appreciate it.

Some of his favorite dates are the ones that result in tons of affection. Building blanket forts before having an action movie marathon is his favorite thing. It always results in the two of you tangled impossibly close to each other. If he is the one being held, having you play with the messily chopped locks instantly has him weak. He will rest against your chest while watching the movies, looking up to steal kisses and nip at your exposed skin in an attempt to steal your attention away from the screen. If he is the one holding you, your hair will be played with and expect him to caress your body a lot. If he gets distracted from the movie, he will let his eyes and hands wonder. It’s not in a perverse way, but more curious. 

He actually studies how your body moves and how you feel. He is the kind of guy who is very interested in seeing how your “Parts” move and how things work. It’s not perverted (Usually) but instead it’s very sweet in an unusual way. He will find out unusual things he loves about you by watching how you move. Like how you stretch to reach things on a tall shelf, or how your body curls up into itself when your cold. Just how you move and your body language is something that always has Kazuichi staring. 

If he can’t be with you physically, expect many phone calls and video calls. He calls you every time he misses your voice or feels himself starting to get anxious. The most common phone calls become the ones that happen before bed. Kazuichi gets extremely anxious when he is alone or at his house with his dad. Because of this, it becomes a routine where he calls you before bed and falls asleep on the phone with you. If you love to sing, sing and play instruments on the phone to soothe him. If you like to read, read to him until you hear his soft snores on the other line. If you like to ramble, ramble to him as he hums along til he is asleep. 

Also don’t hang up. Seriously, he will hang up in the morning. If he has a nightmare, or something happens, he finds comfort knowing that you are right there when he needs you most. 

He doesn’t mind chasing after you, but please let him have something so he knows that all of the chasing is worth it. This is the man you go to if you want somebody to control. He just wants your love and attention, even if you are just using him. If he falls for you during the killing game, he won’t hesitate to kill for you.

・・・・✪NSFW Headcanons✪ ・・・・

Aged 18+ and Kink discussion below this post

Souda loves to leave hickeys and love bites. He thinks they’re so sexy and attractive, and will leave them all over you if you let him. He also ADORES having you mark all over him and will whine if you tease him by pulling away before a mark can be made. If you really want to make him feel loved, make heart shaped hickeys all over him. He will cry because he feels so loved.

He is a switch with a more submissive lean, but he does have his more dominant moments. If he is being submissive, expect him to whine and cry about things a lot. He can be a total brat, but its so worth it when you get to hear him moan and beg for more. He may not scream, but he is quite loud.. If he is being dominant, he growls and groans a lot. He doesn’t mean to, he just gets so caught up in the moment that he doesn’t even notice the noises he makes.

He has ended up with you in his lap in his car a few times. He just can’t help it. The most memorable time was at the drive in theater. You both were in the back and it just ended up with your hands being bound by a seat belt as he sat between your legs until he couldn’t handle waiting anymore. 

He CLEARLY is into body worship. He loves watching how you react as his hands sit and press themselves against your body. He will compliment absolutely everything about you, kissing your skin as much as possible, and let his hands and eyes do all of the work.

He is so into oral, both giving and receiving. He can sit between your legs pleasing you until you are shaking and can’t handle anymore. Just how you taste is so intoxicating with him, and he always is trying to get more. If you are sucking him off, he will pant and moan and whine the whole time. His hand is tangled in your hair or the sheets until he can’t take it any more and cums. If you swallow, he will be so turned on, but he also loves cumming on you

Kazuichi will hump and grind against anything. Your ass, your thighs, a pillow, clothing, the bed, anything. He has a high sex drive, so he has to take care of it often. Even when he is sleeping, he will grind against you if he is having a dirty dream. Hopefully you don’t mind, because he is actually quite embarrassed when this happens.

He has a fantasy of you waking him up with oral. He has quite a few dirty dreams, so the idea of you helping him out while he wakes up is a dream for him.

Praise kink. Seriously. Praise this man. He will CRY if you constantly praise him during sex. He was completely unaware of how much it would effect him during sex.

[radiantmists]

ooooh i'd love to hear your thoughts on an rqg and stormlight crossover!

absolutely.

(send me 2+ fandoms and i’ll give you thoughts on crossing them over)

okay so first of all I’ve thought about this just a little already, in that i saw a significant link between zolf’s new ethos, the whole not-hope what-comes-next thing, and the first ideal, especially as presented in Oathbringer. The radiant orders in general actually feel like... especially codified paladins/clerics, where you get powers in exchange for subscribing to a certain set of ideals.

so i cheated a little and consulted a conversation i had on the rqbb server about radiant orders for the party; using that plus this radiant order guide, i came up with the following:

sasha’s an edgedancer. this is the one i’m most sure about; the slid-ey powers fit, but ‘remembering those who’ve been forgotten’ is also very sasha, especially with her Good End being starting an orphanage. plus she just has The Vibe, you know?

grizzop would make sense as a skybreaker, extremely lawful good and focused on justice, defending the innocent and punishing the guilty. also the idea of him being able to fly brings the chaos gremlin in me joy.

I’d make hamid a dustbringer, honestly because the description in the link above fits the narrative i’d like him to have, regarding the importance of responsibility and self-mastery as one’s destructive power grows.

cel i’m less confident on, but i think i’d go with willshaper; there’s a focus on personal freedom and self-expression, liberation from tyranny, and the order also has an association with creators. (if ppl have thoughts on this lmk because i dont have that great of a handle on cel tbh)

sidenote, skraak would definitely be a willshaper too.

azu is... difficult. i want her to have regrowth as a surge because i feel like healing is a really important thing for her, and she does kinda vibe as an edgedancer... but the stonewards’ focus on dependability and team dynamics, their refusal to bend their ideals, and even just the minor bits like interest in athletics just really fits for her, so i’d have to go with that. i guess kaladin has healing as a central part of his character without it being a surge, so... yes. stoneward. go read the description, the more i think about this the more it seems Correct.

and finally, zolf. the source of so many headaches, i do not understand this man. i can kinda see him as a windrunner, stoneward, skybreaker, or bondsmith, but i’m not confident with any of them. i would lean toward bondsmith just because both the source above and the textual evidence we have with dalinar and navani suggest that bondsmiths are hard to categorize, as far as values, other than them being leaders.

but the question of zolf brings me to a big question-- would they all be radiants? i think they would all have the potential, certainly, any one of them has enough bullshit in the backstory to have cracks that would allow a nahel bond, and enough determination to speak the first ideal and mean it. but that doesn’t mean they’d all attract/bond spren, and i havent even decided how, if at all, i’m dealing with the whole humans vs. singers thing.

(adding a readmore discussing where i see zolf going bc it’s getting long)

but, uh, here’s something rough: i think zolf would pull a baby-shallan and kill his first spren. probably, this would be a highspren; early zolf is very strongly dedicated to the idea of an unbendable truth, divine justice. and i think his point of breaking might even be similar to his questioning of poseidon in canon, because stormlight/cosmere actually engages with the question of “how does someone become a god,” and the answer is “by killing the old one” which very much would not qualify them to be an arbiter of justice in zolf’s eyes.

i think stormlight!zolf would find out that honor is dead, along with the revelation about humans being the invaders (if that’s still what’s going on in this crossover), and have a paris-equivalent breakdown about what ‘the right thing’ or ‘justice’ even mean. he wouldn’t believe in his ideals anymore, he’d ‘kill’ his spren, and that would make his spiral a lot worse.

i’m not sure what would happen from there. 

it’s possible that he’d wake his highspren again by speaking a higher ideal the way kaladin does, though i’m still not perfectly clear on the mechanics of that; zolf actually does still have the dedication to punishing the guilty, he just doesn’t look for an external code as the source of justice anymore, and that’s actually consistent with some higher skybreaker ideals. but he doesn’t really vibe with the whole ‘order and codified law’ thing.

i can see him returning as a bondsmith, but in an awkward sort of situation similar to navani’s, where the spren isn’t fully comfortable with him and he’s doing it largely out of need. but also i don’t want that for him?? his turn in canon to the new source of power feels like it was good for him, and i’d want to do something equivalent, and this feels like it would be almost self-destructive.

but as i was noodling around on the orders explanation page, i noticed this in the description of bondsmiths: “Beyond that, many of the retinues that protected the Bondsmiths were considered members of the Order–going so far as to swear oaths, even though they didn’t have a spren and never would. Some even called this the most pure form of being a Radiant, because these were oaths sworn not in the name of gaining powers, but simply for the good of the oaths themselves.”

and my brain lit up at that, bc you know whose arc is about growing as a person and dedicating themselves to uniting people and leading? wilde. so i’m imagining wilde becoming a bondsmith, and zolf not bonding a new spren but swearing the first ideal in spirit because that is genuinely what he believes, and just being part of wilde’s team, keeping him safe as a regular human/maybe having some squire powers.

WELL i’ve done a lot of thinking about orders and almost none about plot or even actual character backstories, but I’ve spent a while on this. i’m very likely to come back to this because rqg is definitely my current Main Fandom and (as you can tell from the url) the cosmere is my beloved, so... yes.

[thebeautyoffanfics]

sirius gibson x female!reader

a/n: dont ask me how this man has a girlfriend i genuinely don’t know. also this is really... all over the place. it’s not very good, i’m sorry- also sorry cos the formatting is weird idk what to do about it aonrsfoanerg

warnings: spoilers for Sirius’ Conclusion!

word count: 1,549

Never had you thought anything like the past few days would have happened. It was something out of a fairy tale, you were certain. And yet, a simple trip to his house, a trip like any other day, lead to all sorts of chaotic events unfolding. Still, here you were, pouring tea for the, slightly out-of-sorts, boyfriend of yours. The boyfriend of yours that had nowhere to go anymore, so now was sticking with you. 

“Here you go, Sirius,” You said, giving him the most cheerful smile you could muster. You were sure he was hurting, and he didn’t necessarily try to cover it. However, you were proud of how well he was coping. “Ah, thank you,” He replied, lifting his head from his hand and grabbing the handle of the tea cup. 

“Is anyone planning to visit today?” He asked, as you took a seat across from him at the table. “I don’t think so. Claire said she’d visit some time next week though, and I haven’t heard much from Wilardo.”

“Fair enough…”

“Yeah… so, did you have anything you wanted to do today?”

Sirius gingerly took a sip from the cup, making sure it wasn’t too hot before taking a proper one. “I’m not sure. I haven’t had too much time to think about things, you know?”

You nodded, spinning your teacup around as silence filled the air once more. 

“Why? Did you have anything in particular you wanted to do?”

“Ah, well…” You hesitated, questioning whether or not this would sound silly to him. He was your boyfriend though, so… he couldn’t be too harsh to you. 

“I… well, your closet’s basically empty, and mine’s looking a bit… bland. And I don’t have the best sense of fashion or matching, so- does clothes shopping sound fun?”

He took an especially long sip, before putting his cup down, the sides of his mouth threatening to turn upwards. “Well, I guess I have nothing else to do today...”

…

“Here! This is my favorite shop, plus there are some other nice ones nearby!

“Ah, yes. I believe you’ve taken me here before?”

“That’s right! I wasn’t sure you remembered.”

“Sure I did. Though we didn’t go anywhere else. Perhaps we can do that today?”

“Alright! That sounds like a plan,” You grinned, taking his hand and leading you to the store. “We can start somewhere familiar! This one’s my favorite!”

Sirius trailed behind, dramatically sighing while making a comment about how it was bound to be a long day. However, you paid him no mind, opening the door for him as the two of you arrived. 

“Where should we start?” You asked, pointing out generally where all the different items were located. Sirius pondered for a moment, then began to walk towards the men’s clothes. “Mine first. Unlike you, I have no more outfits, and it’ll probably be quicker than having to pick for a clueless girl as yourself.”

“Hey… that’s- well-”

“Don’t agree with my insults. That defeats the whole purpose.”

“What- what’s the purpose?”

“No time for chit-chat.”

Sirius took his time shopping, occasionally holding something up and asking you what you thought. Whether or not he was genuinely considering your opinion was, for sure, up in the air, but he still asked. After a while though, Sirius placed down a final item and turned to you. “Where’s the lady’s outfits?” He asked, facing you fully. “Over there,” You said, instantly feeling a bit more energized as you pointed. Sirius nodded, walking in the direction slowly at first, but picking up the pace once he realized you were following alongside him. 

You couldn’t say that the time spent on your outfits was any shorter- in fact, Sirius seemed rather determined to find nice outfits for you. He made you try on most of them, then making you turn around, and making sure that you liked the outfit before adding it to the pile. 

Finally, after several more stores, and several more hours of shopping and trying things on, the two of you were able to make it back home. 

“Say, (Y/N)...” Sirius started, as he hung up a dress you had bought. You hummed as you folded a shirt, letting him know you were listening. “How often do you put effort into your hair? Not brushing or cleaning it, but actually making it look nice.”

“Ah- are you trying to offend me, or?”

“No, not this time. It’s not that I’ve never seen you make your hair look decent, or at least tried to. I’m just curious.”

“Not… not on the regular?”

You heard a clang of a hanger being hung in the dresser as you placed the final shirt in the dresser. “Then… would- no, nevermind. This is stupid, nevermind-”

“No, no! I won’t think it’s stupid! Please, what’s your idea?”

“It’s nothing.”

You huffed, thinking about how you could get the man to tell you his thoughts. 

“Hey! Dinner’s almost ready! How about we have an at-home date? Want to do my hair for it? Oh- you can choose an outfit too. Make me look presentable-enough?” You proposed, walking up to Sirius as he stepped out of your closet. 

He gave you a look of annoyance, then glanced to the side as a slight blush grew on his face. “That’s stupid… but, if you so insist-”

You grinned, taking his hand once more, and leading him towards your bathroom. “Hair stuff is right here!” You said, pointing at a corner of the counter. “Right, right. Let me get you an outfit first, so you don’t ruin my hard work,” He sighed, stepping away from the bathroom and back towards the closet. After a few moments, he returned and handed you a dress. “Put this on,” He ordered, crossing his arms. 

“I-”

“WAIT-” He shouted, blushing aggressively. Quickly, he rushed out of the bathroom, shutting the door loudly behind himself. 

You giggled to yourself, as you looked down at which dress he had handed you. It was beautiful, one that he had you put on and insisted that you should get. Careful not to accidentally manage to mess it up, you put on the dress, then opened the door. “Sirius! I’m ready!”

“Give me a moment!” He shouted from another room. You glanced at the mirror, assuming that he was probably getting dressed himself. A few more moments passed, before he reentered the room, wearing one of his new outfits as well. 

“You look so nice,” You complimented, as he reached for your hairbrush. “Ah… thanks. You look nice too, I suppose. Only since it’s an outfit I picked, of course.”

You laughed again, as he began to brush through your hair. 

“Thank you,” Sirius muttered, clearly hesitating to speak those words, sounding as if he half-hoped you wouldn’t hear.

“You’re welcome…? But, shouldn’t I be the one thanking you?”

“Not for doing your hair, stupid. You should be thanking me for your hair. I mean, for… for,” His voice lowered, as he once again grew too embarrassed to continue at a normal volume. “For letting me stay here. For… being here for me, I guess.”

Your heart fluttered, yet felt as if it was slightly breaking at the same time. He definitely didn’t have many friends, much less social skills, and you were no stranger to the fact that he feared people. Though he was now determined to live his life in a way to make Lady Dorothy proud, it wasn’t as if he could change his feelings in a week. It was going to take time, and you both knew it. “Sirius-”

“Don’t start crying.”

“I’m not!” “You’re lying. I hear it in your voice, so don’t cry.”

You sniffled a bit, as he grabbed a hair tie. “But… you’re always very welcome, Sirius. Of course I’m going to be here for you. I love you, you know?”

You both hesitated after you said that. While you knew you loved him for a while, it wasn’t easy for either of you to say. You felt your face grow warm as he pulled some of your hair back to put into the hair tie. “Yes. I… love you too, I suppose.”

You glanced over at the mirror, watching Sirius play around with your hair for a second, and smiling to yourself as you noticed the blush and smile across his face. 

“There. That should be good enough.” He said, fluffing your hair one last time, before stepping back and letting you get a proper look at yourself. 

“Ahh, how are you so talented, Sirius?” You questioned, touching your hair gently. “Yes, yes, it’s a question everyone’s had. Now, let me finish getting ready. Go get the dinner finished, would you?”

“Sure thing!”

As you placed the plates down on the table, Sirius stepped into the dining room. “Thanks for preparing it,” He said, walking over to you. You glanced over, noting how he had brushed out his own hair, and changed his typical moon-shaped earring for a star-shaped pair that you had bought him. “Of course! Wash your hands, then let’s eat!”

“Right,” He replied, a smile gracing his face as he looked at you. 

“(Y/N)?”

“Yeah?”

“You look… really nice.”

“Ahh? Thank you-”

“I did a lovely job.”

“Pff- as always.”

[sinnaminsuga]

New Royalty

(here's that supernatural cross over fic! i'm still not sure i'm happy with it how it turned out but here it is! 😂)

@indigosaurus @zealoushound @killjoy-assbutt-1112 @hope-to-hell @wendimydarling @infinite-shite @inlovewithhisblueeyes

Being a crossroads demon, life wasn’t easy. Especially so now, when you’re adjusting to becoming the fresh new King Of Hell. I wanted to continue my job as a crossroads demon because truthfully, I loved the work. But, being the King was a daunting task all on its own, so I let my number one Knight Of Hell, my brother (for all intents and purposes) Sy, handle the crossroads deals. And he had been doing an amazing job, snatching up souls left and right. But I could tell by the look on his face as he stormed into the great hall, that something had gone very very wrong.

“August, I can’t handle this chick anymore! She’s driving me fucking nuts! And she must be a lawyer or somethin’ because she knows her contracts man. But she’s driving me up the wall and I’m gonna gank this bitch with the First Blade if you don’t go talk to her.” Sy shouted through the hall as he approached my throne. The anger was rolling off of him in waves, scaring away the low level demons milling about.

“Sy what are you talking about?” I asked, flipping through pages of paperwork. “Listen, there’s this girl who keeps summoning me right? And there’s no offer I make her that will make her take the deal and eventually I get annoyed and I leave. And EVERY night she does this. She summons me EVERY. NIGHT. And this last time I went topside to see what she wanted and SHE ASKED TO SPEAK TO THE FUCKING MANAGER. Can you believe this shit?!” Sy said, finishing with an exasperated sigh.

“What’s her deal? Like what does she want?” I asked, genuinely curious about this strange woman and what she wanted. “Dude she won’t tell me! I told her whatever she wants is gonna cost her, her soul and I’ll come and collect it in 10 years. No dice. I offered 11 years, ya know an extra year to sweeten the pot but still no. She said the only way she’ll stop summoning me is if I give her a good enough deal or if I send my boss. August I can’t keep dealing with her. I have so much shit to do. You ever been zapped away in the middle of a battle with a leviathan? Because I can now say that I have! And it sucked! Please, I know you’re busy too but can you PLEASE deal with her?” Sy pleaded, kneeling at my feet, his hands clasped together.

“Fine. I’ll go up there just this once. But do not make it a constant thing to come in here asking me to do this. The King does not make it a habit to bend the rules for anyone. Not even his own brother.” I said, casting a glance down at him. I stood up from my throne and stretched out my arms and legs before heading to the crossroads.

When I arrived there was a stunning girl leaning against a shitty blue pick up truck, her head hanging low and her boot drawing patterns in the dirt. “Hey! You wanted to see me?” I called out, her head snapping up to look at me. “Yeah. Yeah I did.” She said. As she made her way closer to me I could sense there was something different about her. I don’t know how Sy couldn’t tell what she was but I definitely could.

“Ah ah ah sweetheart. I don’t trust angels. Drop the blade in the back of your truck or I’ll smoke outta here faster than you can blink alright?” I demanded. She was an angel. And not just in the sense that she was beautiful, no. She was a real angel. Hidden wings, angel blade, grace, and all. She was stunningly beautiful but terrifying at the same time. The blood beneath my skin thrummed with anticipation. What could this gorgeous, heavenly creature want from me?

“Oh! Oh right sorry! I forgot to ditch it because I didn’t know if you would actually come talk to me! I’m Y/N.” She replied with nervous laughter, throwing her sword into her truck. I crossed my arms over my chest and looked at her. “So, what ever could you want to talk to me about? My brother said you’ve exhausted him. I suggest you don't try that with me, I'm far less forgiving.” I grinned.

“Well you see, the thing is, Sy didn’t understand what I wanted and I think it’s because he couldn’t tell what I was. I’m what's considered an archangel. One of the original angels that God created.” She said. “Oh honey I know exactly what you are. I could see it the minute my feet hit the ground up here. Dont waste my time with things I already know. Spit it out. Now.” I grumbled, growing impatient.

“Okay. So you obviously know my brother Lucifer, he used to be like your leader or whatever. But what no one knows is that I was supposed to fall too. Lucifer took the full blame even though everything that happened was half my fault. I believed in him and his cause but he insisted I stayed upstairs with Dad and the rest. When they found out I had conspired against them they locked me up for thousands of years. Can you believe that?! God forbid I’m a free thinker! Pun intended. I’ve finally gotten free and I needed to get the fuck out. I’m so angry and I just can’t stay there anymore!” Y/N growled. Her eyes were glowing with the force of her anger and it made the surrounding air sizzle.

This woman didn’t know it but she was having quite the effect on me. The cogs in my brain were spinning with all the ideas of what she would say next. “Y/N what do you want from me? There’s a reason you keep contacting my brother and I want to know why.”

“I want to strike a deal.” She said. “No shit sweetheart. That’s what everyone wants. I want to know what the deal is since you refuse to speak to Sy.” I huffed, growing tired of this game. Dancing around the point was never my favorite thing.

The beautiful stranger sauntered closer to me and splayed her hand over my chest before slowly lifting her gaze to meet my eyes. I could feel the warmth radiating from her palm and it made my skin tingle and the blood in my groin pulse. “Every king needs a queen right?” She said, grinning up at me. “You take me as your queen, and we all get what we want. I get to take my place in hell where I should have been a long time ago, and in return you get an extra set of hands and eyes to help you run the joint. I can help you August. Truly I can. And you can help me.” Y/N murmured, delicate fingers tracing over my chest.

I mulled it over for a moment, weighing the options and all that. It would be good to have a loyal partner to help me run my empire and she was beautiful and intriguing so I wouldn’t mind her being my wife. Also she had a great deal of power and with her in my arsenal I would never lose, should the opportunity of war arise. The decision was an easy one.

“Well if you know so much about crossroads deals, you know how we seal this contract don’t you?” I smirked, my eyes flashing to black. “Of course I do. I’ve been waiting for this part for weeks.” She said, her hand snaking around the back of my neck and pulling my face towards her. Our lips met in a heated clash and I could feel electricity pulsing from her body. A loud thunder clap sounded in the distance as her tongue slipped into my mouth. The feeling of kissing her was like nothing I’d ever experienced before. My hands began to roam her body and squeeze her flesh. She was so warm but so strong, like velvet covered steel. I couldn’t get enough of her. My lips moved to her neck and I tugged on her sensitive skin with my teeth. The whimper that fell from her lips sounded like paradise. She was clawing at my back and writhing against me and all I had done was kiss her. Her responses to my touch were amazing and I never wanted this to end. I pulled back for a moment to catch my breath and she whined like I’d stabbed her. I pressed my lips to the shell of her ear before whispering, “Sweetheart, if we keep going at it like this I’m going to have no choice but to fuck you on the very ground you stand on.”

“So do it. I want you to. I’m yours now.” She snarled. Before I could register what was happening, she hooked her right leg behind mine and shoved at my chest, effectively bringing me to the ground. Once we landed, I began kissing her again, my snaking my tongue into her mouth. She audibly moaned when I ground my hard length against her clothed center.

“Baby, I’m all about dry-humping but if you don’t hurry up and get inside me I actually might explode. And the last time an archangel exploded, cities were leveled and people were killed.” She giggled. “Keep sweet talking me honey. Death and destruction are a demons favorite things.” I groaned into her neck, a mischievous smile on my lips, before I sank my teeth into her neck. She laughed aloud, the sound like bells, and I never wanted to hear anything else ever again.

She took my face in her small hands, her beautiful eyes scanning my face before whispering “Take me home August. It’s where we belong.”

THE END

[seijorhi]

asks :))

a bunch of fic asks below the cut <3

Hi Rhi! I just read the usual suspects and ITS AMAZING. I was legit so immersed 😭 it’s so good, I couldn’t put it down. It was intense. I could feel Daichi’s stress and with every bits and pieces of info that was being revealed, AHHH had me shooketh. I adore your writing so much 😭💕 ahhh hats off to you!! And me being a Makki lover, I legit gasped when I read the past part!!

-nette 💕@mulberrysilk

ahhh thank you so much, bby!!! tbh i couldn’t resist throwing makki in there, once i had the idea for how i wanted to end it there was no going back and i love deceptively soft makki 

THAT RECENT FIC WAS SO GOOD. I didn’t realize it was refreshing to read a yandere story but from a different point of view. It was so good, the suspense, the crippling fear. May I ask, is this connected to one of ur fics? And would there be a part 2 to see what would happened next? Thank u so much for blessing us with your talent!

thank you! but no, this one is entirely separate from any of my other fics, as for a part two ??? who knows :))

that fic was sooo good. the writing kept me on a edge fr. daichis desperation to solve the case was portrayed so well. AND I DIDNT EXPECT MAKKI TO POP IN AT ALL

well you see the trouble is i am a complete whore for seijoh and makki in particular so?? i had no choice haha

I’m in shock. How does your writing just keep getting better and better and better holy shit

thank you, bby!!! <33

Rhiiiii!!!! Your writing is always so amazing, the newest Oikawa and Iwa fic was so good!!! And the plot twist of goddamn Makki holding you captive until the boys walk out without Daichi finding a lead was so smart!! Just a quick question about your commissions, are you willing to do something with Kawababy and Stockholm syndrome? It’s okay if you don’t, much love 🥺💞

hiya bby! so first of all thank you!! I’m really glad you liked it! as far as commissions go they’re closed atm but i wouldn’t be against writing something like that when/if they open up again :))

lawyer oikawa?? babe, you SPOIL us 😭

ain’t it hot tho? imagine him in a courtroom just wiping the floor with the opposition, it’s sexy

I love these 2 lines - “Have you found my girlfriend yet, Detective?" and “Of course I knew, but you misunderstand, Sergeant. She was never going to leave me.”

Just worded so well. hints that poor mc hasn't gone anywhere!

i was low key proud of those lines, subtle, but they were there from the start hehe

Your latest fic omg you’ve done it again 🥵🙏 I love the mystery AU, you really had the reader guessing and constantly thinking about what happened! I have to ask though...was this all just Makki acting out on his own and using the situation to his advantage or did Iwaizumi and Oikawa (maybe just oikawa LOL)get Makki to do this?

haha, as much as i love the idea of makki being a rogue agent, he really was just helping out two of his pals :)) such a good friend :))

Gaddamn. The preview you posted really made me think that Daichi is the bad guy.

ok ngl i had a few people send asks and stuff believing that iwa was innocent/being wrongfully accused and it was absolutely hilarious. like no, this time he’s an absolute piece of shit and for once, daichi wasn’t a bastard cop 

The usual suspects was so good! It read so much like a crime novel! For some reason I was suspecting daichi the whole time. I was convinced reader came to him in fear and he just kidnapped her for himself and was now trying to frame Iwa and Oiks.

love this theory, bastard cop daichi would’ve been a fun twist, but he was actually trying :(( i also love how none of you trust anybody in my fics anymore, it’s amazing

Omg. unusual suspects was just 👌👌👌imma just pray that daichi found something to lock those two up cuz god I'm scared - @yandere-writes​

i mean :)) if that’s what makes you happy :)) skhbrndjshfghjdks but thank you, bby!

oh. oh, this is one of the fics where i feel sorry for the reader. trapped between an obsessive, controlling ex and her creepy boss at work- she never had a chance, did she? and i cant help thinking that she fell into the the same mindset as daichi- that iwazumi just cant handle his ego being bruised, that oikawa just wants her for sex. she has no idea how obsessed they are with her, and thats her downfall. and theres daichi (who i loved in this fic), but i dont think he can find anything

and makki! i did not see makki coming. how did he get roped into this? is the reader being held at his house, at least temporarily? does he, at least, feel any guilt? sorry if im being annoying, but i loved this fic so much and i have so many questions.

it would’ve been hard enough to escape just one of them; the two together and poor reader never had a chance :(( as far as makki goes he’s an absolute piece of shit too. he genuinely likes the reader - out of all of iwa’s friends he was probably the one she got along best with, but makki’s morally grey at the very best, and he’d do anything for his friends. does he feel guilty? not really, after all she’s better off with the two of them anyway.

rhiii can i ask youu? do you ever write or maybe want to write reverse yandere fic?👀

hiya bby, thanks for the ask but reverse yandere fics just really aren’t my jam :(( sorry!!