#get me going on the buckley-diaz fam and look what happens | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

half-bakedboy · 3 years

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one of the few things (read on ao3)

Pairing: Evan “Buck” Buckley/Eddie Diaz (& Eddie Diaz & Fire Fam) Rated: Gen Summary: “I want someone who’s going to take care of him, love him just as I would without babying him or making him feel like he can’t do things, you know? I want someone who is going to fight for him, not against him, who would literally go through hell for him because he deserves it--” Eddie cut himself off, but Hen didn’t need him to continue.

Or five times that Eddie tells someone else that Buck is Christopher's legal guardian plus one time he finally tells Buck.

Contains spoilers from Season 4 Episode 14: Survivors.

One.

“Hey, Hen, can I, uh, grab you for a minute before…” Eddie trailed off and Hen narrowed her eyes at the rest of the team who had already started excitedly toward the loft. She turned to Eddie who looked… anxious. It instantly unnerved Hen as just a few days ago, he was trapped under forty feet of dirt and almost lost his life, and even then, he let it slide past as if it was nothing.

“Yeah, Eddie, what’s up?” She asked, following him into the changing room where he seemed to deliberate between settling on the bench and standing a few too many times for Hen not to intervene. She rested her hand gently on his arm and smiled openly at him, hoping it would at least get him to stop pacing. “I gotta admit, you’re acting really weird, Diaz,” Hen teased.

Eddie sighed and relented, sitting down as he said, “I shouldn’t be this nervous. Or scared. Or… Whatever is happening in my head.” Hen squeezed his bicep and hoped she looked as confused as she felt. She was sure she must have been missing important details she needed to comfort Eddie like she instinctively wanted to.

“Whatever it is, you can talk to me,” Hen urged, “or I can go get Buck—”

“No!” Eddie said abruptly and Hen’s eyebrows shot straight to her forehead at what she thought was an overreaction.

“Alright…” Hen said slowly, crossing her legs because she was entirely more intrigued than she had been before. If Eddie didn’t want to talk to his best friend, it must have been something secretive and Hen was all for gossip. “You gonna let me inside that crazy head of yours?” She asked once Eddie finally looked up at her.

“If something were to… happen, to you and Karen? Who gets Denny?” Eddie asked quickly like he was ripping the proverbial band-aid off of the conversation. Hen considered him for a moment; the way he refused to look in her eyes and how he rubbed his fingers against the scratches on his face absentmindedly.

“First it would be Karen’s sister. Then, if for some reason she couldn’t, it’s Athena and Michael,” Hen told him.

“And how did you… decide?” Eddie asked, twiddling with his thumbs in his lap which was a habit she had seen Buck do on occasion, but never Eddie.

“It wasn’t really a decision. Karen and her sister made that choice before they even had kids and she’s the kind of person who needs backup plans. Athena and Michael made the most sense after that,” Hen explained. There wasn’t some big talk about it between her and her wife. They trusted few people in their lives, especially with the upbringing of their children, so the choice was pretty obvious when they felt the need to make it. That need came pretty quickly into Hen’s career as a firefighter when she realized she wasn’t as invincible as either of them wanted it to be.

“How did—When did you—” Eddie groaned and scrubbed his hands over his face. “I don’t know what to say next,” he said honestly.

Hen rested a soft hand on his back and reassured him, “You almost died a few days ago, Eddie, it’s normal to put some more thought into these things.” He smiled sadly up at her and it tore into her heart. “Why don’t you tell me what you’re thinking right now?”

“I don’t even know, Hen, I—” Eddie stood and started pacing again before Hen could stop him. It seemed like he needed to move so Hen crossed her arms over her chest and let him. “When Shannon died, my parents tried to take Christopher from me. They—They came here under the guise of support for my son and I and they just—” Hen didn’t know that and now that she did, heat boiled under her skin. She knew exactly what it felt like to have family try to take the most important person to a parent away and all she wanted to do was wrap Eddie up in her arms.

“Your parents are Christopher’s legal guardian right now?” Eddie nodded and let out a huff of laughter.

“I’m not quite sure they wouldn’t try to kill me themselves to get Christopher back,” Eddie joked but it fell flat as Hen stared up at him. Before she could say anything else, Eddie spoke quickly, as if figuring things out in his own mind, “I want someone who’s going to take care of him, love him just as I would without babying him or making him feel like he can’t do things, you know? I want someone who is going to fight for him, not against him, who would literally go through hell for him because he deserves it--” Eddie cut himself off, but Hen didn’t need him to continue.

“You want it to be Buck.” Maybe she should’ve been more surprised or she should’ve asked the question instead of saying it so surely and causing the bit of panic that erupted in Eddie’s eyes, but it was obvious in everything Eddie was expressing. There was one thing she didn’t understand, though. “What’s holding you back?” She asked, patting the seat beside her so she could rest her hand on his knee. He relaxed at the touch.

“What if he doesn’t want that?” Eddie muttered. Hen gave him a look that easily told him he was insane if he thought Buck wouldn’t agree if he was asked. “Okay, then what if—What if it means more than I’m willing to… think about?” Eddie asked, pressing his lips together and glancing up at Hen as if he had just bared his entire soul to her. He might as well have.

She couldn’t hold back anymore and pulled him into the tightest hug she could without risking additional pain to his already stiff muscles. She had always wondered if they were more. She had wondered if the times Buck teased Eddie were his roundabout way of flirting or if those moments when Eddie’s eyes lingered a little too long on Buck when he dove headfirst into danger meant… more. She wouldn’t ask, though, knowing that it was a journey Eddie needed to begin on his own. She couldn’t start that for him, but she would help him in any way she could.

When she pulled back, she said, “I’ve got an attorney who specializes in these kinds of matters. I can give you his number and maybe he can help you out?” Eddie nodded again, seemingly grateful for no extra rounds of questioning, and rested his hand over Hen’s that still patted at his knee.

“Thanks, Hen, just—Thanks.” He let out a long breath just as Buck knocked on the glass surrounding them, gesturing up to the loft and rubbing his stomach to probably indicate lunch was ready. He ran up the steps, tripping on the first one and glancing around to make sure no one had noticed, sticking his tongue in their direction when he realized he’d been caught. Hen laughed, gripping onto Eddie’s bicep as they both stood.

“You sure that’s who you want to parent your kid?” Hen asked. No response came because Eddie was too busy watching Buck in the kitchen, the grin wide on his lips followed by his own hysterical laughter as someone undoubtedly made fun of him. Eddie shook his head and smiled down at the floor before glancing up at Hen, blushing when he realized he had been caught lingering.

“I’ve never been more sure.”

Two.

If Carla was asked to choose her favorite clients, she would say it was impossible, but really, her answer was easy. The two men in front of her had spent the day together and still both were hesitating at leaving the residence. They had some more time, but they didn’t want to spend it away from each other, that much was clear. Carla also understood because if she was asked, she would easily say the Diaz-Buckley’s--as she so fondly called them in her mind.

“There’s some yogurt in the bottom drawer that Christopher doesn’t know about, so if he gets all of his homework done, he can have that as a treat before dinner,” Eddie instructed, glancing over to where Buck was leaning against the counter, his legs crossed and his arms over his chest as he stared at Eddie fondly.

“Yes, dad, I know the rules. I’ll make sure he finishes his homework before I let him raid the sugar drawer and spoil his dinner so that you have the hardest time getting him to bed,” Buck teased, winking at Carla as Eddie tossed the empty roll of paper towels in his direction. Buck caught it and sent a glare at Eddie, tossing it in the garbage like the well-oiled machine they always were. “You never let us have any fun,” Buck complained, pouting at Eddie who just rolled his eyes in response.

“Now, boys, don’t make me put you both in time out,” Carla chastised, her eyes darting between both of them playfully.

“Now you’re just threatening us with a good time, Carla,” Buck teased, pressing a kiss to her cheek as he walked past to grab his keys. “I figured Christopher and I could stop on the way home from school and grab some ingredients to make dinner together. You’ll be home by then, right?” He directed at Eddie who nodded almost shyly in return.

“Yeah, the meeting is at three and I don’t think it’ll take longer than two hours or so if everything goes as planned,” Eddie guessed, sliding his shoes on and nudging his shoulder into Buck’s when the other man tried to knock him over. Carla watched on affectionately, leaning her hip against the counter and raising her eyebrows at them as they turned, their arms pressed together even though there was plenty of room on either side of them.

“I’m gonna go get your kid. Good luck?” Buck offered and Eddie laughed, pulling him into a brief hug that, if Carla had to guess, he wanted to hold onto a little longer.

“Yeah, thanks, I appreciate you taking care of him,” Eddie said nervously, holding Buck at arm’s length and gazing up at him as if they were the only two people in the world. Carla wondered when they would start to realize they shared that look every time they saw each other.

“You know I’d drop everything for that kid, Eds,” Buck noted easily, patting Eddie’s cheek as he made his way out of the front door. When it shut, Eddie let out a deep breath and turned back to Carla who gave him what she hoped was a knowing look.

“You gonna tell me why we’re going to see this attorney now, Eddie?” Carla asked, raising her eyebrows at Eddie as his cheeks turned pink.

“After the well incident, I started doing some thinking…” Eddie trailed off and Carla just waited for his explanation. “I hadn’t really thought about my will since I left El Paso. I should’ve when Shannon died, but—”

“You were grieving,” Carla immediately interjected, knowing that Eddie still blamed himself for that-- and everything else--that wasn’t in his control. He glanced up at her and smiled before leaning back against the counter opposite Carla.

“I figured it was about time to think about it again so, Hen, our coworker, connected me with a local attorney who specializes in estate planning,” Eddie continued as if that explained exactly what they were doing. Carla nodded her head to urge him on and he took a deep breath as if preparing himself before he spoke again. “I’m going to make Buck Christopher’s legal guardian if anything were to happen to me,” he admitted, his eyes darting to Carla’s as if waiting for some big response.

“You said the meeting is at three, so we should probably be going,” Carla said, clapping her hands together as she stepped away from the counter.

“Wait, that’s it? You’re not going to question me or—or tell me to consider someone else?” Eddie asked. It was like he was repeating what someone else had already said, trying and failing to talk himself out of the decision that Carla couldn’t agree more with.

“You know your child better than anyone else, Eddie Diaz, and I’ve seen the way that man,” she gestured toward the front door where Buck had just left, “cares for your son. You’ve witnessed it more than any of us. If you believe that he is the best choice for Christopher if—God forbid—anything happens to his daddy, then it’s the right choice,” she finished, leaving no room for argument. Eddie nodded, staring up at her with wide eyes that shined with gratefulness and love. Carla held his face in her hands and nodded back reassuringly, hoping her words reverberated through that thick skull he had.

“You sure you don’t mind coming with me?” Eddie asked. “I—I want you to be there for this,” he added as if he needed to make sure she knew it. She did. She knew that she was just as important to the Diaz-Buckley family as they were to her and wondered how she ever got so lucky.

“I’m by your side through it all, right?” Carla reiterated, holding out her hand for Eddie to grab and dragging him through the door. They had a will to change.

Three.

“Hey, Cap, can you spare a minute?” Eddie asked, peeking his head into Bobby’s office with a feather-light rap of his knuckles on the door. Bobby gestured for him to have a seat and when Eddie shut the door behind him, Bobby had to admit he was a bit nervous by the sudden meeting.

“Everything okay, Eddie?” The nod he received in return did nothing to reassure Bobby when he saw the papers in Eddie’s hands.

“Everything is great, Cap. I’m feeling completely back in the game after the…” Eddie trailed off as if he couldn’t even mention the well and Bobby didn’t blame him. Everyone was still on edge from the fear they had felt that day, Bobby included. “I just wanted to talk to you about something,” Eddie began with a deep breath.

“You don’t have to be nervous, kid. Whatever you have to say, we’ll get through it,” Bobby reassured, leaning back in his chair to prepare himself for another member of his family to take their leave. It had hurt when Buck had looked him in the eyes and said those dreaded words, but he had almost been expecting them, but he always knew Buck would be back. Eddie looking in the same direction was a surprise that he wasn’t sure how he would handle. He wasn’t sure how Buck would handle it.

As if sensing Bobby’s own nervous energy, Eddie’s eyes darted to the papers in his hands and back up to his captain’s in panic. “Oh, no! No no no! This isn’t— Fuck, Bobby, I’m sorry. I’m not quitting if that’s what you’re thinking!” Eddie reassured and Bobby would be lying if he said his heart didn’t stop beating for a moment, so he was glad to feel it pump back up.

“That’s incredibly relieving to hear, Diaz,” Bobby said honestly, leaning forward onto his elbows placed on the desk. “Then…?” Bobby asked, holding out one hand for the papers that were slightly crumpled in Eddie’s tight grasp.

“Oh, yeah, I—” As if not knowing how to explain it himself, Eddie held out the papers, crushing them into Bobby’s hand. He had to smooth them out to read even the first sentence.

Last Will and Testament of Edmundo Diaz

Bobby glanced up at Eddie to ask what all of that was about, but Eddie just lowered his eyes to the papers as if pleading for Bobby to read so he didn’t have to explain out loud. Bobby nodded and continued scanning through the all too familiar words before a name caught his eye.

“In the event I shall die as the sole parent or guardian of my minor child, then I appoint Evan Buckley as legal guardian of said minor child,” Bobby read, hoping his shock wasn’t too prevalent on his face. He glanced back up at Eddie who was smiling almost proudly after hearing the words aloud. “Eddie, this is—”

“I’m sure about it, Bobby. No one is going to take care of that kid better than Buck would,” Eddie said quickly and defensively. Bobby rested a hand on the back of Eddie’s that had clenched into an anxious fist on the desk between them.

“I was going to say that this is a great honor for him,” Bobby said slowly, leaning his head down so that Eddie would look at him. “Why are you giving this to me, though?”

“Everyone who needs one has a copy. My attorney, my abuela, my doctor, and Carla, just to be safe,” Eddie explained. Bobby couldn’t help but notice there was a very important person absent from that list. He didn’t need to say anything as Eddie sighed, squeezing his eyes shut. “I can’t tell him yet, it's just—It’s not the right time… for us.”

The us was louder than Bobby thought Eddie had intended it to be.

“I’ll keep this in your file, but you know I have to urge you to tell him before it’s my responsibility,” Bobby said. “You know better than any of us that in this job, things can go wrong faster than they can go right again. Buck isn’t going to let you down with this,” Bobby promised because he truly believed it. He thought that Eddie did, too.

“I know and I’ll tell him. When the time is right,” Eddie said with a nod. He stood up and wandered to the door, turning back to his captain with another small smile on his lips as he added, “And thank you. What you think means the world to both Buck and I which is why I—” Bobby nodded in understanding and opened his bottom drawer to file the important paperwork away.

“Hey, it’s what I’m here for,” Bobby said before adding, just for good measure, “remember that.”

Four.

Maddie watched her brother cradle her newborn child in his arms and a warmth she had never known before spread throughout her entire body. Eddie was leaning over, wiggling his finger above her face before gliding it delicately down the bridge of her nose and her pouty lips, her eyes mesmerized by the motion. He let her grab onto it, his face feigning pain as if her small form could ever inflict it. Maddie couldn’t help but notice how Buck was staring at Eddie at that moment and was almost too focused on what a perfect little family they would make when Chim walked in with an armful of drinks.

“So, do we get to tell him now, or…” Chim asked excitedly, smacking his hands on his thighs as he sat on the couch. Buck refused to hand the baby off to anyone else, cradling her in one arm as he used the other to take a large gulp of the lemonade Chim brought out. Eddie watched them carefully as if making sure Buck didn’t drop her while simultaneously eyeing the way his throat bobbed and she suppressed a laugh behind closed lips.

“Tell him what?” Eddie asked, taking a sip of his own drink and gulping almost nervously. Maddie tilted her head at him, asking him silently if everything was okay and he nodded in response, smiling softly at her.

“Well, Buck, as you know, Jee-Yun here is very lucky to have two parents who love her in her life, that will do anything in the world for her,” Maddie began, resting her arm on Chim’s shoulder and gesturing for him to continue just as they had practiced.

“You also know that literally no tomorrow is guaranteed,” Chim said solemnly, reaching to brush his finger down Jee-Yun’s arm. She instinctively reached out to her father and Maddie’s heart squeezed in her chest.

“We were hoping that you would accept the honor of being Jee-Yun’s god—”

“Yes! Oh my god, are you kidding me?!” Buck interrupted, his eyes darting from Maddie, to Jee-Yun, and over to Eddie who had a smile on his face that looked... fake if Maddie had to put a word to it.

“This is a gift that can be taken away at any time, Buckley, remember that, but yes. We want this for her, both of us,” Chim said, holding onto Maddie’s hand and staring up at Buck seriously. No matter what Chim would say, he didn’t need nearly as much convincing as Maddie had been prepared to do to make Buck Jee-Yun’s godfather. It was either him or Albert and neither of them was about to leave that responsibility to the person still sleeping on their couch.

“You’re not gonna judge me if I cry, right?” Buck asked, sniffling exaggeratedly and holding Jee-Yun even closer to him. He looked down at her like she was his world and everyone in the room knew it was true. Maddie couldn’t help but glance back at Eddie who still had that faux smile plastered on his lips. She tried not to be offended as she walked by him, knocking her knee against his and gesturing for him to follow her to the kitchen.

Buck pulled her into a one-armed hug and kissed her cheek before she could pass, whispering words of thanks into her ear. Before they could get too far, he grabbed Eddie’s arm and raised the baby up as if offended he could possibly leave the room without saying goodbye. Eddie pressed his lips gently against Jee-Yun’s outstretched hand and for a moment, Maddie thought Buck was going to toss their friendship out of the window and kiss him even though he had his godchild in his arms. Instead, he let Maddie pull Eddie away.

She crossed her arms over her chest and raised her eyebrows expectantly. When he didn’t speak up and actively avoided her gaze, she spat, “Spill it, Diaz.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Eddie said, mimicking Maddie’s pose and narrowing his eyes in her direction.

“Don’t pull that with me, Eddie. I saw that flash of worry before you pretended to be happy my kid had a kickass godfather, so spill or I bring Buck in here to—”

“No, don’t—!” Eddie sighed, and pushed off of the counter, pulling Maddie further into the kitchen so they were out of sight of Chim and Buck. “He can’t know, not yet.”

“Can’t know what? That you’re in love with him and want him to have your babies?” Maddie teased, eyes widening when Eddie didn’t even bother to convince her otherwise. “Oh my god, I knew it!” She yelled, smacking Eddie a few times in excitement. He rolled his eyes at her, a look she had seen directed at her brother more times than not, but she wasn’t worried, because there was too much affection in the gaze.

“Good to know both Buckley’s need to be the loudest person in the room,” Eddie noted, peeking around the corner to make sure the other two were still preoccupied.

“You can’t insult us anymore, now that I know for sure that you love him!” Maddie squealed, holding onto Eddie’s arm that was crossed over his chest again. “But wait, that doesn’t explain why you’re so…” She mouthed an exaggerated frown and furrowed her eyebrows to mimic his face only for him to roll his eyes again.

“I didn’t look like that,” Eddie complained.

“You’re doing it right now,” Maddie said, pushing at the wrinkles in between his eyes with her index finger so that he might relax his face. He laughed and swatted her hand away, but didn’t let it go far. He held it carefully in his, staring down at her fingers like he was avoiding her questioning. “What’s going on, Eddie?” She asked quietly, ducking her head so he would look at her.

“Remember a few months ago when…” He trailed off and Maddie immediately knew what he was talking about. “I almost didn’t make it out and all I could think about was my kid. You get that now, right?” Eddie asked, nodding his head over to where Buck had finally given Jee-Yun back to her father. Maddie knew exactly what he meant. Nothing else was more important than Jee-Yun anymore.

“What does that have to do with my brother?” Maddie asked. She didn’t mean it to sound unkind, but Eddie blushed and ducked his head again and she was worried that maybe she had pushed just a little too hard. Buck had warned her that Eddie was like that sometimes; open until he wasn’t, guarding every little piece of him to protect himself and Christopher. She had yet to see it but hadn’t yet had the opportunity to really bond with him. She knew that moment was as important as it felt.

“I haven’t told Buck,” Eddie warned before continuing, “but after everything that happened, I decided to make him Christopher’s legal guardian in the case that I… die.” Maddie’s jaw dropped open and she had to hold her hands back or risk smacking him again.

“And Buck doesn’t know this?” Maddie asked because she couldn’t have heard him correctly. Why wouldn’t Eddie have told him? It made absolutely no sense in her mind and her blank stare must have clued him in.

“If I tell him, I have to admit that maybe my reasoning isn’t ‘hey, my best friend should be the one to take care of the most important thing in my life’ and more…” He trailed off with a sigh and repeated Maddie’s earlier words, “more that I'm in love with him and want him to actually have my babies.” The admission made Maddie burst into hysterics, Eddie throwing his hand over her mouth before the other two could hear them. It was too late, though, because Buck wandered around the corner, concern in his eyes.

“I know you and Chim aren’t married yet, but he’s like… right there, Mads,” Buck joked, gesturing over his shoulder where Chim was too focused making faces at Jee-Yun to care about what was happening in the kitchen. His eyes darted back and forth between the two of them with not as much playfulness in them as his words insinuated. Maddie pushed Eddie away with a laugh and a smack to his arm causing him to roll his eyes again.

“Watch it, Buckley, or I might make my new favorite firefighter Jee-Yun’s godfather,” Maddie threatened with a wink at Eddie before she waltzed toward her brother. When she was close enough, she whispered, “Jealousy is a new look for you.” She barely avoided the hand that swatted at her as she went to go hold her baby, leaving the two of them to talk.

She tried not to focus on the way Buck and Eddie worked so easily around each other or how Eddie treated Buck like he was something of utmost importance. She had also never seen her brother fit so perfectly to someone else’s side and the two of them together, playing with Jee-Yun and handing her back and forth until she fell asleep, was almost too much for her heart to bear.

As they said their goodbyes, Maddie pulled Eddie closed and whispered, “The way you saw Buck look at Jee-Yun tonight? It’s the same way I’ve seen him look at Christopher.” Eddie nodded back, his eyes shining in agreement like he didn’t need to be told twice. “He deserves to know,” Maddie urged softly, squeezing his arms as she pulled away.

“I’ll tell him about Christopher, I will,” Eddie promised, glancing over to where Buck placed multiple small kisses to Jee-Yun’s sleeping face.

“Tell him about you, too, okay?” Maddie asked, patting his cheek gently. “He looks at you the same way you look at him.” Eddie seemed too stunned to respond and by the time he pulled himself out of it, Buck was tossing his arm around Eddie’s neck and leaning into him sleepily.

“Ready to head home?” Buck asked as if home was the same place for both of them.

“Yeah, I am,” Eddie responded easily. With one last glance back, he mouthed his silent thanks at Maddie who nodded back and smiled warmly at him.

Once the door shut, Chim wrapped his free arm around her waist and muttered, “We made the right choice, huh?” Maddie smiled, that warmth in her chest spreading further as she glanced at the love of her life holding her infant, then to the door where the first person she had ever loved more than herself had exited.

“We all did.”

Five.

Eddie wasn’t expecting the question when it came. He was eating breakfast with Christopher who had spent the majority of his morning complaining that they had run out of his favorite cereal. He half considered asking Carla to pick some up on her way over, but Christopher settled for eggs and toast and was chatting away about his new friends at school, so he let himself space out. Eddie was not much of a morning person.

“…And Alyssa lives with her grandma because her parents couldn’t take care of her. Mrs. Quinn said sometimes that happens and kids have to go live with other people,” Christopher explained and Eddie nodded in response, not really paying attention to the conversation in favor of spacing out at the full plate in front of him.

“That’s great, buddy,” he said absentmindedly, compiling a grocery list in his head that he would have to find the energy to do after his shift. He was grateful that Buck had offered to spend some time with Christopher this weekend because that meant he might be able to get a nap in when they inevitably played Punch Planet.

“Who would take care of me if you couldn’t?” Christopher asked and Eddie froze. He continued to stare down at his plate, his eyes wide as he let the question echo through his mind. “Dad?” Christopher asked.

“I, uh—Sorry, kid, what was that?” Eddie asked even though he had heard the question quite clearly. He just wasn’t sure how to answer.

“Who would take care of me if you couldn’t?” Eddie cleared his throat and tried to come up with an answer. Turns out, Eddie didn’t have to because Christopher already had the perfect one. “I think it should be Buck,” he decided, nodding his head as he grabbed another forkful of eggs.

Eddie’s head shot up and he gaped over at Christopher as he squeaked, “You do?” Something about Christopher agreeing with the enormous decision Eddie grappled over for weeks had his heart beating out of his chest even though he shouldn’t have been so surprised.

“Yeah,” Christopher began as he swallowed his eggs, “he would still make me do my homework before I could have dessert, but he would play video games with me and help me do really cool things.”

And wasn’t it really that simple? Buck would treat Christopher exactly how he deserved and nothing more or less. Eddie had seen it for almost a year—longer if he allowed himself to think about it—and Christopher obviously had no issues with it. Buck fit into their family just as he was, with no expectations or exceptions. Suddenly, Eddie wasn’t sure why he was so nervous to let Buck in on the secret he had held so close to him for such a long time.

“Would you like that? If Buck were to be the one to take care of you?” Eddie asked almost shyly.

“Buck already takes care of me,” Christopher decided and yeah, he was right. Buck already took care of Christopher— and Eddie—so it only made sense. Eddie had known that, but to get confirmation from his son was everything he could have wanted it to be. “Only if you can’t,” Christopher added sternly as if it needed to be said. Eddie let out a huff of laughter, reaching across the table to pat Christopher’s hand softly.

“Yeah, only if I can’t,” Eddie confirmed, “and we’re going to hope that never happens, okay?” Christopher seemed satisfied with that and nodded, taking a bite of his toast and turning his hand so he could hold his dad’s tightly. Eddie wasn’t sure what he had done right in his life to deserve the family he had—Buck included—but he wasn’t about to question it, not when things were so good.

Plus one.

Eddie had been shot. A bullet found its way through Eddie’s shoulder while his blood splattered onto Buck’s face, a heat he wished he could forget but was etched into his mind. He had done his best to keep Eddie alive in the firetruck, pressing his hand to the gaping wound while the other hovered uselessly over his face, a shouted reassurance that they were almost to help. To Buck’s utmost relief, the surgeons had saved him, and he was grateful he was with Christopher when he got the news.

The waiting was the worst of it. He stayed with Christopher because he couldn’t go home without knowing that Eddie’s son was safe each night and every morning and they waited together. Christopher woke him up most days which he tried not to beat himself up about. He did feel a little guilty for how much he apparently snored as Christopher would not stop pointing it out, but he was okay with being the butt of the joke because it meant that Christopher was smiling even though Eddie had still not woken up.

When he got the news Eddie was conscious, it took everything in him not to spend every waking moment at his bedside. He updated Eddie on Christopher’s schoolwork, what he had for breakfast and dinner each day, even little details that he was sure the father didn’t care about, but Eddie listened to them all. He stared over at Buck with so much appreciation in his eyes and Buck almost couldn’t stand it. Not when he had messed up and Eddie didn’t know.

“He doing okay?” Eddie asked, waiting until after he was sure the video call had ended. Christopher had a bright smile on his face that matched the joyous laughter that left his lips the moment he saw his father, but they all knew the last few days had to have been tough on him.

“Better than me,” Buck huffed, “I, uh, kind of lost it when I told him you got shot,” Buck admitted when he couldn’t hold it in any longer. Eddie was falling asleep, his eyes blinking slowly as if trying to keep them open. Buck wanted to stroke his hand over Eddie’s hair and kiss his forehead until he let himself dream again. “I’m sorry, I—should’ve held it together.”

“You were there for him when I couldn’t be. That’s what matters,” Eddie said simply, but that wasn’t enough. He wasn’t enough for Christopher and no one could be except for his father who was currently in a hospital bed for the second time since Buck had known him.

“Still,” Buck began, “I think it might’ve been better for him if I was the one who got shot.” If looks could kill, Buck would’ve taken Eddie’s spot in that bed. Eddie tried to sit himself up as if preparing himself to chastise the man beside him for his words, but Buck retracted them quickly, sensing the discomfort it had Eddie feeling. “I’m sorry, I didn’t—Just get some rest, Eddie, you can yell at me later,” Buck promised, finally relenting to his urges and grabbing Eddie’s hand in his. The touch relaxed Eddie and Buck decided not to think of what that could mean.

He left before Eddie could have the chance to make due on the promise and when Buck could finally come back, Eddie didn’t seem to be in the mood for yelling. He looked too serious considering that’s all anyone had been for the last few days. The sniper was caught and at home, Christopher and the rest of Eddie’s family were preparing to welcome him with the warmth he deserved after his time in the hospital. Eddie patted the bed next to him, said he had been meaning to talk to Buck and it was like ice shot through his entire body.

“So, you might have noticed I almost died. Again,” Eddie said as if it wasn’t playing on repeat in Buck’s head every time he closed his damn eyes. “Yeah, I’ve had a lot of close calls. This one wasn’t even my closest,” he pointed out as a huff of laughter escaped his lips.

“Eddie…” Buck began, but Eddie shook his head.

“Just let me finish?” Eddie pleaded, finally glancing up at Buck with a softness in his eyes Buck wasn’t prepared for. Buck quieted. “After the last time, when that well collapsed on top of me—”

“Which you survived,” Buck pointed out, pressing his lips together when Eddie glared over at him. There wasn’t nearly enough heat in it, but Buck opted to really let him continue that time.

“After that, it got me thinking—you know, what would happen to Christopher if I hadn’t?” Buck was about to interrupt again, reminding him of all of the people—including himself—that wouldn’t hesitate to take care of Christopher, but the words got caught in his throat because he couldn’t imagine a life without Eddie in it just yet. “So, I went to my attorney and changed my will. So someday if I, uh, didn't make it... Christopher would be taken care of. By you.”

“What?” Buck asked through bated breath. He lost the steady beat of his heart, the comforting rise and fall of his chest, and the ability to control the way his hands shook in his lap at the admission. Eddie seemed to notice and turned toward him, holding his trembling fingers in one hand and avoiding Buck’s eyes once again. Buck couldn’t figure out why he wasn’t looking at him, opting instead to stare at the plain white floor as if the tiles were more interesting than the life-changing news he had just shared.

“It's in my will that if I die, you become Christopher's legal guardian,” Eddie explained simply. He said the words with such a clear voice, so sure that it was the right decision, and Buck couldn’t think enough to argue against it.

“I mean, h-how—How does that even work? Don't you—Don’t you need my consent?” Buck stuttered, his mouth barely able to catch up with all of the questions racing through his mind.

“My attorney said you could refuse,” Eddie noted, an upturn to his lips that almost had Buck laughing.

“You know I wouldn’t,” Buck finished for him.

“Nah, I know you wouldn’t,” Eddie said as if proud that he was right. Buck felt a warmth spread throughout him at the thought of Eddie innately knowing him so well. Then all he could think about were reasons why what Eddie was saying didn’t make any sense.

“I mean, he--he has grandparents, other family,” Buck began, but Eddie just shook his head again and held Buck’s hands tighter in his. He could finally feel them settle and equated that to Eddie’s calming touch.

“Yeah,” he let out a dry laugh, “after Shannon left, they all tried to guilt me into giving Christopher to them. It's not what I wanted then, it's not what I want now.” If Buck knew anything about Eddie, it was that when he knew what he wanted, nothing was going to change that. The way Eddie stared so firmly at their entwined hands both scared him and elated him.

Buck hated thinking about it already, but he had to ask, “ If it came to that, w-wouldn't they fight for him?” Eddie considered the question for a moment, but only a brief one.

“I don't know. Maybe. Probably.” When Eddie finally glanced away from their hands, Buck saw the worry clouding his muted eyes. He wasn’t sure how to make it go away and that killed him almost more than seeing Eddie lying just out of reach. “But no one will ever fight for my son as hard as you. That is what I want for him.” There was nothing Buck could say in return, because there was no denying it. Buck would do anything for that kid, but he still had one more question.

“Well, you said you did this last year. Why are you just telling me now?” As if Eddie had expected and dreaded the question, he glanced away from Buck once more, removing his hands from Buck’s slowly. Buck wished he hadn’t.

“Because, Evan,” Eddie began and Buck was sure that was the first time Eddie had used his given name. He had always hated it. It was a token that his parents had given him that they treated like a gift and he usually wanted nothing to do with it, but coming from Eddie’s mouth, it sounded like music. “You came in here the other day and you said you thought it would have been better if it had been you who was shot.” He shook his head and stared at the wall in front of him. Buck tried to meet his eyes, but Eddie wouldn’t budge, letting out a long sigh.

“You act like you're expendable, but you're wrong.”

Buck had never felt a surge of emotions quite as strong as the ones that rushed through him at those words. When Eddie finally pulled his eyes away from the blank wall to meet Buck’s gaze, his eyes held everything Buck had ever wanted to see. The years he spent gaining Eddie’s friendship, his trust, his love, had amounted to something more than Buck had ever expected it to. His eyes screamed that Eddie loved him back.

“Why are you just telling me now?” Buck repeated because as much as he appreciated the answer he received--and would be thinking about it like a spiral in his mind for as long as he lived--there was something more held in Eddie’s gaze and Buck wanted that just as bad.

Eddie cupped Buck’s face in his uninjured hand, licking his lips before he admitted, “Because I’m ready .” It was as if both of them could finally breathe as Eddie explained, “For us to be more. That is, if you—” Buck didn’t let him finish. He moved carefully forward, pressing their lips together gently, twin sighs leaving their mouths as they finally— finally —took that extra step forward.

It was a leap both of them were ready to take, one that Buck had waited for since the moment he saw Eddie’s strength, his bravery, his loyalty, his love. It was that final jump into each other’s arms that meant they were nothing if not family. Eddie had just taken it a year sooner than Buck had expected and that was completely okay with him.

#buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #henrietta wilson #chimney han #maddie buckley #bobby nash #carla price #christopher diaz #buddie fic #buck x eddie #eddie x buck #911 #911 on fox #I love this fic #so i hope you do too!!!#my writing #911 spoilers

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buddieclowncar · 3 years

Text

What I want to happen next season (both likely and unlikely to happen):

· Albert joining the 118

· Buck holding Jee-yun

· More Uncle Buck

· Nia visiting Hen and Karen

· A birthday party for Christopher (it's a crime that we haven't seen one yet)

· Another natural disaster episode (they're my favorite episodes)

· All the 118 fam going to a bar together and participating in karaoke

· Bobby and Athena taking a break to go on a trip

· Bobby and Athena going to couples counseling

· Buck and Eddie having the "you got shot in front of me and I'm still not over it" talk

· Buck and Eddie having the same trauma over Eddie getting shot (sorry, I want to see it)

· Buck having nightmares about Eddie getting shot (sorry again)

· Eddie thinking more about what Carla said about following his heart and not Christopher's

· Eddie getting PTSD because getting shot after years of not being in the battlefield triggered it (I'm really sorry-)

· Some good Buck and TK content because we're getting a second crossover

· TK asking Buck if he's with Eddie during the crossover because he sees how they act around each other and how they look at each other

· CARLOS IN THE NEXT CROSSOVER PLEASE I BEG (I know this probably doesn't belong on this list but I'm more than likely not gonna make one for lone star)

· David and Michael getting engaged (I know it's a little soon but I love them-)

· More probie (Ravi) content because he has the potential to be a full blown character if they let him

· Hen graduating medical school

· Doctor Henrietta Wilson

· Maddie getting help with her postpartum depression

· Buckley-Diaz family moments (can't help but feel like we aren't gonna get that many since Eddie and Buck are dating people now)

· Christopher graduating elementary school and Buck standing up in his seat to cheer for him like the proud dad he is (I'm not necessarily sure how Christopher's school works but I think he should be finishing the 5th grade soon ???)

· More Albert content

· Buck adopting a cat or picking up a stray

· More absolutely chaotic episodes

· Buck being invited to a Diaz family cookout or something along those lines because I know Abuela loves Buck (I mean there hasn't been any confirmation to that last statement but who in the Diaz family wouldn't love Buck when they see how good he is for Eddie and Christopher? That's right, no one)

· Christopher referring to Buck as his second dad or just his parent in general

#911 #911 on fox #911 fox #911 spoilers #911onfox

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anon911andbuddie · 4 years

Note

Can you do one where Carla calls buck while he Eddie and hen are in Texas with the 126 because Chris had a nightmare about the tsunami and the 126 kind of sees the dynamic of buddies little family :)

Okay so this prompt got away from me a bit, if you wanted more Diaz-Buckley fam feels and less of what happens here, let me know. I’ll give it another go. I did have another way this could have gone where the 126 witnesses the actual call with Chris, let me know if you want to see it - Scarlet 📕

Calls to Take and Stories to Tell

TK, Buck and a few others had just agreed to take a break when another group of firefighters came to take over for them. The sun had long set but there was still work to be done. Buck had caught a water bottle that TK had tossed him, when his phone rang. He tucked the bottle under his chin as he awkwardly dug in his pocket to grab his phone.

TK chuckled and was just about to offer to take the bottle back when Buck seemed to sort it out. TK amusement ended as he saw Buck’s brow furrow in concern.

“Carla, Hey,” Buck said, setting the water bottle on the ground beside him. “Everything okay?” There was a pause before Buck continued, “No, we just took a break. I got time. What’s wrong?” TK didn’t miss the way Buck looked around, a bit frantic. “Yeah, put him on.” Buck said, he looked over and caught TK’s gaze. “Hey, TK! Can you get Eddie, I need Eddie,” Buck gestured to the phone. “It’s his-” TK was just realizing that this might be a big deal based on Buck’s serious tone, when Buck seemed to quickly shift. “Hey, superman, what’s wrong?” TK went to do as he was asked.

TK found Eddie taking a break with Marjan and Judd. “Hey, Eddie, right?” TK hurried over.

“Yeah, what’s up?” Eddie nodded.

“Buck needs you,” TK said.

“Did another dog try to run him over?” Marjan asked. TK shook his head.

“Nah, a phone call from someone named Carla,” TK answered.

“What?” Eddie fumbled to grab his phone as he stood up. “No missed calls,” he mumbled as he looked at TK. “Where is he?” Eddie asked and followed TK as he headed back to where he left Buck.

“What just happened?” Marjan asked. Judd just shrugged.

“It’s okay, buddy, I know it’s tough, but it’s gonna be okay, we’ll be back home soon.” Buck had his phone held out in front of him, having switched over to a video call, as Eddie and TK approached. “Hey, look who’s here,” Buck smiled as he gestured Eddie over. “I think someone wants to see you,” Buck said, tipping his phone slightly and mouthed ‘nightmare’ to Eddie as he did.

“Hey, bud,” Eddie smiled as he took the phone and made sure he was in the camera frame, before taking in the image of his sleepy son. “What’s up?” Buck stayed next to Eddie so they could both try and get the boy back to sleep.

TK felt like he was eavesdropping on something weirdly personal so he went back to join his team. Running into Hen on the way there.

“Hey, have you seen-” Hen started to ask.

“Buck and Eddie are on the phone,” TK said. He’d figured out the LA team seemed to be almost as close as his crew. “Someone named Carla called. They’re behind your guys’ truck.”

“Oh, okay,” Hen nodded. “Thanks.”

“You need to go?” TK asked as she seemed to turn and walk with him.

“What?” Hen asked.

“The call, you going to join them?” TK asked as they approached Marjan and Judd. They had been joined by Paul and Mateo.

“Nah, I talked to my own kids earlier. No need to bother theirs.” Hen shook her head.

“Whoa wait,” Marjan said, she looked at Hen in confusion. “I thought Eddie was a single dad.”

“I mean technically he is, Carla is his son’s caregiver.”

“Why’d she call Buckley if she’s Eddie’s kid’s caregiver?” Marjan asked.

Hen thought about how best to answer that. “Buck and Christopher are close. He’s his Buck.” She shrugged.

“What does that even mean?” Judd asked.

Hen chuckled and glanced at the time. “Honestly, that is a story I’m not even sure we could fully cover before sun up.”

“Short version?” Mateo asked.

“Short version is that Buck has easily been Christopher’s favorite person. Buck always goes the extra mile for him. I mean Buck’s great with all our kids, but even before Christopher lost his mom, Buck was always helping out.”

“But they didn’t call Eddie first?” Marjan asked.

Hen hesitated, because how do you explain the Diaz and Buckley dynamics without discussing all the disasters those three had been through.

“Shared trauma,” Hen said.

“He has shared trauma with Diaz’s kid?” Judd asked.

“Yeah, they survived something horrible while Buck watched him during some time off, left them with some bad nightmares” Hen said, she wasn’t sure how much Eddie actually would want her telling people. Buck probably wouldn’t mind, he overshares often when it comes to his time with the Diaz family.

Marjan had pulled out her phone and was scrolling through Eddie’s instagram. It was shockingly bare and hinted nothing at some shared trauma. She clicked on a picture of Eddie and Buck in full gear and clicked on Buck’s tag. “Oh wow,” she held up a picture of them all at Eddie's badge ceremony. “What is this?” She swiped it to a video of Christopher clearly showing Buck how to use his crutches better.

Hen looked over and smiled. “That was when Eddie got his badge.”

“I can see that,” Marjan stated. “I mean the leg.”

“Oh, well that is another long story, but Buck damn near lost his leg.”

“So they bonded over crutches?” Mateo asked.

“Yes, and no,” Hen said. “Christopher was all too happy to give Buck pointers, but they survived something worse once Buck was back on his feet.”

“Worse than nearly losing his leg?” Paul asked.

“Yeah, Buck had a pretty terrible year. Crushed leg, pulmonary embolism,” Hen sighed, she’d probably already told them too much, might as well go all in. “And a tsunami.”

“A tsunami?” Mateo asked.

“Well now I’m really glad I saw that car before it hit him,” TK said.

“Yeah, thanks for that. For some reason that boy cannot stay out of danger,” Hen stated.

“We know someone like that,” Judd said, nudging TK’s shoulder.

“Hold up,” Marjan said, still trying to put together the pieces of the story. “So which trauma was Christopher’s?”

“The tsunami,” Buck’s voice answered.

They all spun around to see Eddie and Buck behind them. Buck’s posture had gone ridged.

“Telling stories, Hen?” Eddie asked, his arms crossed over his chest.

“Sorry guys,” Hen frowned, “I guess I got carried away.”

TK looked between the three LA firefighters. He looked at the way an angry looking Eddie had put himself between Buck and the group. He took a good look and Buck and TK stomach twisted. Buck had sad eyes, stiff shoulders, and a white knuckle grip crushing his water bottle. He looked like a guy that could clearly use an out.

“Hey Buck, we should finish that restock we were working on,” TK said standing up and walking towards Buck. “Ready?” Buck looked over at Eddie. TK didn’t miss the small nod from the older firefighter.

“Uh...yeah, sure.” Buck said, following TK towards the 118 truck.

“We should check our own truck,” Judd said. He left with Mateo and Paul.

“Eddie,” Hen started but Eddie shook his head.

“Can you go see if we are needed for the rest of the night or if we can all get some sleep?” Eddie asked her.

“Yeah, I can do that,” Hen said as she left.

Eddie sighed, realizing Marjan hadn’t gone off with the rest of her crew.

“If you wanted to know more about our lives you could have just asked us,” Eddie told her.

“How’s the kid?” Marjan asked.

“He’s back to sleep,” Eddie answered.

“So Buckley not only helped you build your son a skateboard, but also talks the kid down from nightmares from a tsunami they both survived. You two really are best pals.”

Eddie ran a hand through his hair but nodded.

“Huh,” Marjan said. “I guess he is harmless.”

“Mostly,” Eddie shook his head and grinned.

“Hey, sorry about that,” TK said when he and Buck had finally reached the 118 truck. “We didn’t mean to upset anyone.”

Buck sighed, his shoulders sinking. “It’s fine. Eddie will calm down soon.”

“That’s good,” TK eyed his new friend, “For what it’s worth, whatever you guys went through, we’re just glad you’re here.”

“Glad to help,” Buck nodded. “We’re firefighters, we have to have each other’s back.”

#Anonymous #by scarlet #prompt fill #spoilers for crossover #spoilers #911 spoilers #911 lone star spoilers

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controloffandoms · 4 years

Text

Buck Begins Fic Recs

For @thisissirius

Here are a couple of fics that I have written. And I’ll probably add a couple of favorites that I’ve read along the way!

Nothing I Ever Did Was Good Enough

Buck bit his tongue, looking away from his father. It was too early in their get together to have a blow out. He especially didn’t want to have that blowout in front of Chim and Albert. “You know, firefighting, until recently, has had a huge amount of off duty suicides due to improper care of mental health. The department has changed to help firefighters through hard times of losing patients or families in fires by hiring departmental psychologists and having service animals available for visits to the firehouses after really tough calls. If someone isn’t in the right mindset, we could lose more people, not to mention our own people and that person. Mental health is no joke,” Albert stated. Buck had to hide is smile, but he turned to Albert, giving him a knowing look and small smile. His parents spluttered for a few seconds before Phillip turned to Albert. “I don’t think I was talking to you. Mind your own business, this was a family matter.” “Don’t talk to him like that,” Buck nearly growled. “He is family.”

~~Or the one where the parents visit and Buck is in over his head...luckily his family has his back.

~~~~Part 1 in the Nothing I Ever Did Was Good Enough series

Nothing I Ever Did-

~~~~Part 2 in the Nothing I Ever Did Was Good Enough series

"Watch your attitude, Evan," Margaret glared. "Why should I? All you've ever done is put me down and compare me to Maddie and try to make me into her. News flash, I'm my own person and I'm different! I get that nothing I ever did was good enough, but I don't have to keep trying to appease you and let you walk on me or my family. So if you could kindly drop the attitude and rude comments regarding Eddie and Christopher, it would be much appreciated. They invited you into their home and you've been nothing but assholes since you got here! Clearly you came here with opinions and baggage and a want to have your way, but that's not going to fly here. You best just head out of town tonight, you're not wanted here in my life or Maddie's life. We don't want your toxicity melting into our families because I'll be damned if the shit you've said tonight will ever affect my niece or my kid!"

~~Or the one where Eddie hosts the Buckley parents and just tries to be supportive in general...but the parents are nightmares. Featuring cuddles with Chris, Eddie, and Buck.

Not The One You Wanted

“Evan, I don’t know what you expected us to do.”

“Love me anyway,” it had been said like his heart had been ripped out...which, it felt like it had. Because that was the truth, wasn’t it...all he ever wanted was for them to love him anyway. He wanted his parents to give a damn about him but they never did...it was like he was a responsibility that they never wanted.

Maddie had said that their parents had been different back then when they were sentimental and made a box for her...and now Buck knew why. Daniel. His older brother Daniel...a brother that he didn’t even know existed until he sat down with Maddie to look at all the baby photos in the box...and there were plenty...Buck can hardly remember ever getting portraits like these done during his childhood….but his parents were different back then.

-OR- Evan Buckley deserves love and hugs because of how shitty his parents are.

*This is honestly one of my favorites that I’ve written...it’s like a character study while Buck was trapped in the warehouse with some liberties surrounding the reason Buck’s in the warehouse*

Secrets

He’d been lied to his whole life...Maddie had never thought to tell him about not being his actual sister...his parents were acting like it didn’t matter...like he should just get over it. Buck’s eyes met Chim’s...and his whole body went rigid. “You knew,” he whispered, looking directly at Chim. “You knew and you didn’t tell me?!” He rounded on his sister, “you told him, but not me?!”

“Evan, I was trying to protect you-”

“No, you don’t get to do that! You don’t get to try and protect me! I’m a grown ass adult, I deserved to know but instead of telling me, you told him and even though I’ve known him longer he still didn’t tell me!” Buck shook his head, backing from the room. “I can’t do this,” he whispered.

-OR- Buck finds out the secret Maddie's been keeping from him while his parents are visiting...he is understandably betrayed.

*Basically, Buck Begins and the Daniel scenes hadn’t happened yet and I wanted to know what the secret was, so I came up with this.*

Ambush of the Parents

Based off the new Promo (or the one I just saw) where we see Maddie, Chim, Albert, Buck and (who I believe) are Buck and Maddie’s Parents. Buck’s dad says “you’ve been seeing a therapist?” and Buck responds “Well, the job can be stressful.”

Disclaimer: Please don't read if verbal abuse from parents triggers you.

~~~~Or Buck’s parents are absolutely horrible and Buck’s family defends him.

Buck Begins

Buck always tried to please his parents. He wanted to be recognized and loved. He tried to get their approval but it was never enough. *Includes flashbacks, this was before Season 4 was even in production*

~Evan had thought that the SEALs would make his parents proud. He tried out for the SEALs, he went through training, but it still wasn’t enough. Then he’d dropped out. That had been the icing on the cake. Evan had never had a big blowout with his parents. He’d always tried to appease them. He tried to be the perfect son…but they never thought he was good enough. So when he dropped out of the SEALs, having a shouting match with his father as a consequence, he left for South America. He bartended and had fun. Then he’d gone to LA and became a firefighter and he hadn’t contacted his parents since the blowout.

Here are some fic recs that are not my own works

double vision wrapped in last night’s party clothes by amirlywritingfanficnow

"I have always been honest with you." When Eddie's voice cracks, Buck's composure almost cracks with it. "Why can't you just be honest with me?"

When Buck is let in on a long kept family secret, he doesn't know what to do. He almost ruins things with the one person that keeps him from feeling like he's floating away with no way to land, but it ultimately turns out okay with help of a little communication.

*This one pulled at my heart strings a little*

but i leave it in my heart, cause I don’t want to stay in the dark by neoncrayolas

Buck hadn't meant for the confession to come out like it did. He'd wanted it to be more eloquent and not so full of snot and tears.

But once it was out, there was no going back.

Or, part character study of Buck, part coda to 4x05.

*Basically, Buck isolates himself, Eddie gets worried, and Buddie is endgame

Learning to Breathe by TearsThisSideofHeaven

Boy, he thinks as the city lights blur a little in his vision, my therapist is going to have a field day with this.

*Short little fic that delves into Buck’s emotions with Eddie trying to support him

Finally Safe by WinterLioness

In the aftermath of finding out a family secret Buck finds himself going to Eddie. Christopher and Eddie use their Diaz charm to help.

*This picks up on the emotions Buck feels not only because of the family secret but because Maddie kept it from him (not full on hate, but what any normal person would need to work through) and Eddie is there to support him. Features cuddles with the Diaz Boys.

Not Related to the story line of 9-1-1 but has a whole ‘Buck Begins’ vibe because I was world building: The Life We Live

*The Old Guard AU no one asked for* "Athena had seen many a millennium and many men, women, and children die. She had seen the rise and fall of civilizations. She had felt the pain of loneliness and the happiness of community...but she’d never, in her many years of living, seen something like Eddie, Buck, and Chris. She’d never seen this profound of a bond, even between herself and Bobby. After Buck lost Abby and, later, Ali, Athena wasn’t sure he would have let his heart reach out to another person that he could lose...but she was proud of him. He built something that was hard to come by in their way of living. He built a home."

*I’m really proud of this one, it turned out well*

Not Related to the Story Line of 9-1-1, Fics by others!

Please Don’t Say You Love Me (because I might not say it back) by Queerfeministdork

"Say I love you loud, and say I love you often. It was an easy sentiment, and it was a beautiful background picture. But something clenched tightly in Buck’s chest when he saw it flash open as he handed Hen her phone. Because he knew it was a simple thing for most people, that most people could just let those three little words slip out without a care. But he couldn’t. They always got caught in his throat, stuck behind his chest. Tamped down before he could think to breathe them out."

Buck always wished he could just say the words. Turns out, maybe people just know.

*Basically, Buck can’t say ‘I Love You’ as easily as everyone else and panics about it...but eventually, everyone understands.

everything is blue by amirlywritingfanficnow

When Evan Buckley is ten, he discovers nail polish.

In which Buck paints his nails, Eddie is flustered, and May is a matchmaker.

*Basically Buck and Eddie saying fuck toxic masculinity. Buck enjoying painting his nails and Eddie is definitely in love with him.

Coming Home To You by kariberri13

The 118 want to know more about Buck, but the man won't give them many details. That is until the biggest detail walks through the station's bay doors.

*Not focused on his past, but a different story focusing on the fact that Buck is married to Eddie and has a kid that he didn’t tell the Fire fam about.

There are tons more, but this is what I could think of off the top of my head!

Hope you like them!

#buck begins fic recs #buck begins #fanfiction writing #9-1-1 #evan buckley #buddie #evan buckley x eddie diaz #eddie diaz #christopher diaz #the buckley parents #fic recs #for thisisserious #longish post

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angstyjellybean · 4 years

Text

Another one baby

Alright baby Chris to start nice nice

Chubby baby I love it, it feels so weird to see Shannon

Eddie with a hat feel weird and idk why

I’m assuming this is part of current

My baby boy Chris and Buckaroo and CARLA

PTSD honey

The buckley Diaz plus Carla fam is fave

Cute house, not important rn but it is

I shouldn’t have liked bucks tell that much oof

Papa Eddie picking up the hints

I can tell this episode is gonna make me sob already

Dig a tunnel dig dig a tunnel

I can’t imagine what these parents go through with this I’d be scared shitless and I may not completely believe in god but I’d be praying as hard I could

I don’t know why I though Eddie was gone when he was born god he looks so young

The desperation in his voice is honestly resonating

Nah this is scary af what if he cuts him

Oh baby boy he’s so scared EDDIE NO

HE WAS SUPPOSED TO TUG THE LINE AND HE DIDNT EDDIE MY BEAUTIFUL MAN NO

Hen knows Buck too well

Oh mama Diaz (Shannon) no

The dying guy found that at least slightly amusing

Fuck as I heard the noise I knew what was about to happen but it still shocked me

Narwhals done for I believe

Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit

Pack mentality my dude you gotta do what you gotta do Oh fuck his wrist her scream god damn

Awe smol Chris and abuela

I get where Eddies coming from obviously he needs time but it’s also obvious why she was upset but that’s a shit way to leave

Is his name Hayden or Aiden? Also he still has the chain nice

No no no no no no no no no no no no no no nooooooooooo no (this was written when chimney started going up)

God the way Buck just immediately tried to start digging and yell and I proved myself right with the sobbing

If y’all try and tell me this isn’t the best bromance around today I will fight cause I believe it’s more than bromance but y’all not ready for that

If they kill Eddie I. AM. FUCKING. DONE.

She LEFT WITH A DAMN NOTE AND THATS IT

Nah ma don’t guilt trip him that’s dirty play, there’s my grown boy he’ll always be my baby boy but in this episode it’s seeing him grow and I love it but I hate the circumstances were given seeing him grow at

Please don’t kill my baby please I’m sobbing again stop Chris has lost so much already and Eddie didn’t go through this to die

To say I almost screamed is an understatement and Buck already looks dead inside because he think he lost him already

Y’all hurt me like this for no reason I hate y’all

He kept it with him even while almost dying

#911 spoilers #911 fox

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datleggy · 5 years

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I’m autistic and one of the things I have trouble with is change. I’ve watched 911 since the third episode and now they have a second one? Idk. I’ve been seeing a lot of good things about it but I’m not sure if I want to watch it. Basically what I want to know is if it’s worth watching. Is it good? Are there any parallels between the new one and the Buck one? Who are the characters and what are they like? Will you start writing for this series instead of the other one? %

so, this got WAY longer than i thought it would, sorry!!! TL;DR is at the very very end!

tbh i didn’t wanna really give 911 lonestar a chance originally, i was lowkey annoyed bc it felt like they were like “oh u guys want buck and eddie, who are CLEARLY meant to be and have all this canon chemistry and relationship development to eventually get together??? lol NOPE but here’s a spinoff where u get ur white/latino gay ship :D”

which i do genuinely hope to god isn’t the case, like, i really need OG 911 to be like PSYCH here u go, some DIAZ-BUCKLEY fam. as a treat.

i did end up watching it bc curiosity and too many awesome gifsets finally got to me lol

and im only a couple of episodes in (haven’t had a chance to watch the 3rd ep bc of work and other things D: ) and so far i gotta say, i like the OG 911 calls that they get sent to more than 911 lonestars calls but again, im only 2 ep in, maybe they get more “woah thats crazy/hilarious/hearbreaking!” as the show goes on.

i honestly don’t see too many parallels between Buck and TK—the only thing i noticed where they’re pretty similar is how much they both enjoy easy physical contact. buck is very touchy feely and comfortable about showing affection/feelings and i feel like TK is the same regarding physical contact (with his dad at least)? but that’s about it.

for what it’s worth i do think the show is pretty entertaining and worth a watch!

my main reason for watching past the first episode is my enjoyment of the characters. i just think they’re all neat.

this is from a post i made when i first watched the show lol:

captain strand: good dad to all of his children

tk: hot gay messy boi

grace ryder: a fave, no nonsense beauty, judds better half

judd ryder: tragic big boi

captain blake: chaotic good w baby voice

marjan: wild feral messy gurl

mateo: if anybody’s mean to my SON im throwin hands bih

paul: again, if anybody’s mean to my SON im THROWIN hands

officer reyes: ready to dick tk down

here’s a more descriptive/longer summary of the characters if u wanna know more, if not skip down to the bolded sentence below lol:

owen strand is the captain (played by rob lowe) and to me he gives off chris traeger vibes (from parks and rec if u watched?) but with more depth. i like his character a lot, he’s a caring dad, seems like he knows what he’s doing, and like, c’mon, it’s rob lowe (i fell in love with him a million years ago when he played soda pop in the outsiders nipr;guebwuogrnofw)

tk is his son and a hot gay mess w some substance abuse issues (tho a lot has happened to him in only 2 ep i really don’t know how to feel about him entirely, bc besides stuff happening TO him, i don’t feel like he’s reacted in a way that shows much of his character?) idk maybe it’s just me. but he is a certified cutie so. lol

grace ryder, she’s smart (one of the only characters with more than ONE brain cell lmao) and gorgeous and an emergency 911 operator. she’s very supportive of her husband and what he’s going thru (which is A LOT), she herself has been thru a lot bc of the big incident at the beginning of the series and is still somehow held strong in spite of it all, she’s a personal fave of mine.

judd ryder is kind of a dick at first but i think its very understandable given the hell he’s been thru, im actually surprised at the amount that i like him. he’s very raw and vulnerable but has this “don’t worry im fine, back up” attitude that i loooove.

captain blake is the captain for EMTs, she’s got this soft teeny baby voice that contradicts so hard with her give no fucks ima do what i need to to find my missing sister actions irwughqwgoriegjf i like. she’s caring and does goes out of her way for the little guy.

marjan has ZERO chill but in a good way, i can already absolutely see her getting into trouble by doing some crazy impulsive thing on a call in order to rescue someone—-TBH she actually reminds me a lot of Buck from OG 911 in that way. like yea she’s reckless and impulsive but u can tell its bc she CARES and this firefighting thing is what she’s meant to do. i really like her.

mateo—-OH MAN. he’s 10000000% my favorite. it hurts me everytime he’s on screen, bc he’s such a sweet and HARD WORKING man and he deserves to be a firefighter and do what he wants/has been waiting for for so long, im so HAPPY captain strand gives him a chance. i think he might have some learning disability or maybe he grew up in a household where maybe his family was too busy or didn’t care to check up on how he was doing in school and they neglected to see how much he was struggling—this is all just pure speculation from the fact that on the show he tells captain strand during the interview that he’s always passed the physical exam to be a firefighter but keeps failing the written part :( i love my son.

paul is a trans firefighter who’s mainly known for his crazy good observational skills in the field—there’s an ep—ep 2?—that shows off his talent but like, i found it unintentional funny bc the way they did it was in a scene that honestly truly felt to me like a scene I MYSELF would write in a fanfiction if i wanted to show off a cool skill the character has but was also too lazy to make it look good???? lmaoooo im not trying to be mean but like, if u do watch it, its the 2nd ep i believe, the “office meeting” scene. other than that tho there’s only been a few scenes with paul in it (my personal fave being the skin care routine scene lol) but i look forward to more scenes of my son being a lil sherlock holmes :)

officer reyes is tk’s potential new mans. he seems like a good cop from what little ive seen of him doing police work. so, i saw a post someone made basically saying how ugly are the men in texas that officer reyes is out here thirsting over tk so HARD—and not to be rude, but he really is!!!! reyes is a goodlookin guy, so idk what’s up with that, maybe he likes messy bois? bc same.

p.s. im not sure how to feel about reyes and tk together yet bc it doesn’t really seem as if they have too much chemistry. hopefully that changes? i do kinda like that they haven’t started off their potential relationship on the best of foots, bc i love drama, an indisputable fact.

ONTO THE FINAL QUESTION!

OG 911 will always be my first love and i just don’t see this changing anytime soon. buddie will always be the #1 ship in my heart! and i have about a gazillion awesome prompts i need to work on so me switching over to 911 lonestar isn’t gonna happen. i love OG 911 way too much iuqhur4ogfoie3jwnwjinioj

tho i may occasionally—per the request of prompts i’ve gotten in the last week or so–take a couple of the characters from 911 lonestar and put them in a 911 fic as a crossover? we’ll see.

this ended up soooo long oruhibgruoeqwp i hope some of it helped tho?

tl;dt: 911 lonestar seems fun and the characters are interesting enough to keep me entertained so i say give it a chance :)

#long post is long #ask #anon #also i got ur other ask #NP! never a bother :)#911 lonestar #911 fox #tldr at the end #read more

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caralynsmoved · 5 years

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the most wonderful time of the year

fandom: 911onfox characters: quinn callahan ( original female character ), athena grant-nash, sean callahan ( original male character ), bobby nash, fire fam ft. karen wilson and maddie buckley. pairing(s): athena grant-nash/bobby nash, maddie buckley/howie “ chimney “ han, hen wilson/karen wilson, allusions to evan “ buck “ buckley/eddie diaz rating: general audiences setting: sometime after the ice skating and a little before the christmas spirit episode, idk timelines are hard and i wrote this before the actual christmas ep aired. notes: so quinn is my oc formed of my love of kennedy mcmann and my need to just want more ocs basically. also s/o to @henwilsons bc she is pretty much quinn’s creator and a second s/o to @liesoverthec because when i posted hey who wants to hear about this oc you know nothing about it sweet bon-bon went me ! i do ! and made me giggle at work so here goes ?? ps. you can refer to this original post about quinnie if you want !

∞

“ should i ask how you found me or should we just skip to the why ? “ quinn asked, not even looking up from the drink in front of her.

“ maybe skip to why you haven’t been answering my calls, huh ? “ athena asked, taking a seat beside at the nearly empty bar.

quinn was sure in a few hours the now nearly empty bar would pack up with hopeful christmas couples, people looking for someone to spend the holidays with, mostly people trying to avoid the holidays in one of the most effective ways around .. at least that’s what she was trying to do before athena showed up.

“ i’ve been busy, you know holidays make people nostalgic for estranged family, lost holiday gifts, missed connections with that certain somewhere who winked at you while you were singing to last christmas on the subway. “ quinn said, taking a drink before she looked over to the woman at her side.

“ think you could still make some time for holidays, quinn, get your stocking all hung up. “ the stocking had been an addition during her first christmas with the grants. she had slept in the guest room and woken to a stocking on the fireplace bearing her name right next to everyone else’s. it had been one of the first times she had let herself celebrate the holidays since her dad … the stocking now got put up every year.

“ athena … “ quinn pressed a hand against her forehead, eyes closed tightly for a moment as she thought of the bright lights of christmas, watching rudolph curled into her dad’s side, hot cocoa in the middle of the night like a secret and the shadow that hung over them after he was gone, “ i don’t know, “

“ i know it’s been hard for you, lately. “ athena said, pushing the glass away just enough in hopes quinn wouldn’t notice, “ especially now, but baby you can’t keep hiding yourself away, there are people in your life now who love you, who want to be there for you .. if you’ll let them. “

quinn knew they would be, they had proven it in a hundred different ways; bobby being by her side after the tsunami when he wasn’t at buck’s, eddie going sparring with her at the gym when it all became much for either of them, buck and maddie stubbornly tailing with her on long stakeouts, hen and chim pulling her into team dinners at the station, it was even christopher or denny’s little hand reaching up for hers like they could trust her implicitly. the problem wasn’t that she didn’t know they were there the problem was they could easily be gone in an instant; one wrong call, one second too late, between one breath and the next … gone just like that. she’s already carrying one ghost she doesn’t know if her chest has room for any more.

“ one more ? “ the bartender, either not catching athena’s warning gaze or not caring ( it was more likely the second ) asked, jolting her out of her thoughts and she fumbled.

“ i .. i … ummm, “ words suddenly stuck in her throat as she felt the weight of it all fall on her shoulders with a rush, “ i need some air, “

the young woman pushed away from the bar and athena’s well meaning hands as she stumbled her way to the alley, falling down against it and letting the cold brick pressed against her back and shoulders chill her heated skin. out of control wasn’t a feeling she liked at all, out of control was something she didn’t get a luxury to feel because there wasn’t anyone around to catch her when it happened, no one to shield her when she fell or got too loud or did the wrong thing. out of control is how all of this made her feel and she pressed her forehead to her knees with a frustrated whine.

“ merry christmas, baby girl. “

the hands fell away from the little girl’s eyes and she saw white decorating the ground and it felt like magic,

“ snow ! “ instead of whirling straight into the white fluff the girl beelined for her dad behind her, wrapping her arms around him, “ you did it , daddy ! “

strong arms picked her up and twirled her around as she squealed and laughed as bright as the sun even as her dad clutched her to his chest and fell backward into the soft whiteness of the snow that glittered across their yard. she wriggled from his grasp as he rolled them around in the snow and looked up at her dad who smiled at her like he always did, “ told you i’d make it snow for you, quinnie, anything for my girl. “

it had never snowed like that in la and now that she was older she knew her dad had pulled strings to get snow in their yard, a simple call to a company, but to a little girl who wanted the realness of snow it had been everything and her dad had known that. they had stayed out there all day until they were soaked and shivering, he had coaxed her inside with hot chocolate and rudolph and she had fallen asleep in the window seat watching the snow settled in the yard … it had been their last christmas.

there was the click of heels on asphalt, a ruffle of fabric and a sigh before athena was settled next to her once more, wanting nothing more than to reach out and pull the girl into her arms.

“ i’m sorry, “ the words were old hat to quinn who spent her life either spitting them dismissively or profusing them to a grieving client … or the woman next to her, “ i’m so sorry. “

“ there’s nothing for you to apologize for, quinn. “ the softness in athena’s voice, the mom voice she and may always have teasingly called it makes her ache, makes her want for things she’s too afraid to have, too afraid to lose. “ i know you’re scared and it’s hard for you especially this time of year and as much as i want to just make it all better for you i can’t. “

quinn felt her green eyes sting with the press of tears and a sniffle following athena’s words had a gentle hand brushing pale red curls away from her face, stroking through her hair, “ i don’t … i don’t think i can do this anymore. “

the hand that was slowly brushing through her curls moved to turn her chin and she was met with a sad but no less warm smile, “ you don’t have to, not anymore. not if you don’t want to. “

it could be so easy …

“ i’m terrified, “ it was quinn’s breathless admission that had been held back like a warning she displayed to anyone who came close; damaged goods, broken toy, don’t come close; dead inside. athena had seen it all, pushed past the warning signs like a challenge and held her close even when she fought her, maybe especially when she fought her.

“ i know. “ two words seemed to signal some sort of click in quinn’s head as the tears built up spilled down her cheek and off her chin, “ being scared though it’s just a part of loving something or someone but it doesn’t mean you should just never let yourself feel it again. i’m scared whenever bobby walks out the door in the morning, i’m scared when i say goodbye to the kids, i’m scared whenever you don’t answer the phone and maybe it would be less terrifying to just pack it all in, but then i’d miss out on all the good that love brings me, all the people it brings into my life. “

a sob crackled through her chest and escaped her, it sounded aching and tired, it sounded like her. in a second she was swept into warm arms and cradled like she was something fragile. “ you’re going to be okay, i’ve got you now, i’ve got you, baby girl. “

she wasn’t naive enough to think one breakdown in a bar’s alleyway would magically fix everything, that she would dry her eyes and feel put together, but it was a start, it was a soothe to some of her jagged edges, it was a way to breathe again.

∞

tears dried and smudged makeup wiped away by skilled fingers, quinn shuffled in behind athena into the warm chaos that was the grant-nash household. there were decorations strewn about throughout the home, soft christmas music playing over a speaker, the smell of dinner wafting throughout and the sound of voices carrying over everything.

“ and i’m telling you that you’re wrong ! “ was buck’s shout that rang out through the house and greeted the two women as they came into the living area. the blond was sat on a couch with eddie and was halfway leaned off of it to meet chim who was sat with a fondly grinning maddie, hen with an arm wrapped around her wife rounded out the team.

“ except i’m not and you are, respect your elders, remember, buck ? “ chim quipped back at him, hands waving around that maddie skillfully dodged before gently grabbing one to hold which of course earned a sappy smile from her boyfriend. the words themselves drew a snort from eddie whose shoulder was promptly whacked by buck.

“ what are they arguing about now ? “ athena asked as she came into the kitchen where her husband was opening a bottle of wine with quinn once more trailing behind her, feeling oddly unsure even in the shelter that this home was to her, “ i thought when i left they were bonding over the music. “

“ which of course led to them arguing about christmas music .. i’m pretty sure they’re actually arguing about which is the classic christmas song. “ bobby said, an amused smile on his face as he came around to hand his wife a glass of wine and a kiss, “ glad you could make it, quinn. “

eyes drifting towards the mantle hung with stockings quinn almost started as she was pulled back to the present and offered the older man a half smile, “ me too, bobby. “

“ just because you’re older doesn’t make you right, chim ! “ buck said, leaning that much more forward only to be pulled back by eddie’s hand on his shirt keeping him from toppling straight off the couch.

“ and just cause you’re the baby, doesn’t make you right either ! “ whatever response buck had ready and waiting fell away at chim’s words and he sputtered.

“ baby ?! i am not the baby ! “

“ you’re literally the youngest person here, buckaroo. “

“ that doesn’t make me the baby ! “

“ throwing the temper tantrum might though, bambi. “ quinn quipped, making her way to the crowd and taking a seat next to karen who gave her a smile and a pat to her knee that had her sinking easily against the cushions.

“ come on, “ buck said, voice dropping from a shout to an indignant whine as he looked around at all of them, “ did you guys have to tell her about that ? “

“ well you just looked so adorable flailing around out there, i couldn’t help it. “ hen said, cooing at him leaving buck leaning back against the couch with a huff.

“ says you, i think i grew like ten gray hairs everytime he almost faceplanted. “ eddie chimed in, the same fondly exasperated look on his face he had on the ice that day.

“ i was not that bad. “ buck said, dodging the hand that eddie used to ruffle at his hair as his cheeks flushed with a blush.

“ not how i heard it. “ quinn said, pulling her socked feet up underneath her on the loveseat as her words caused buck to pout. “ aww, don’t pout, bambi. it’s almost christmas. “ maddie teased her brother earning a dramatic kiss on the cheek from her boyfriend.

“ i swear if that sticks .. “ the blond said, looking at all of them with a half-pleading, half-glaring expression on his face.

drinks were passed around as bobby and athena came to join them and for a moment it seemed like everything was there, everything she was so afraid to have and she thought once more of how quick and easy it would be to lose it all. then like that day in the hospital bobby asks her to help him in the kitchen and the confused glances are worth the easiness to draw in a breath,

“ better ? “ she’s not stupid, she knows there was nothing bobby actually needed help with and something about the realization makes her fingers tingle and ache as she runs a hand through her hair and looks up to meet his sympathetic gaze.

“ thanks, bobby. “ quinn doesn’t ask how he knew, how he always seems to know because the answers are there in all the things he does and says; the shadows that sometimes swim behind his gaze, the way he looks at buck, may and harry like he’s found something he never thought he’d find again .. sometimes she thinks they just see echoes of their pasts in each other.

“ no problem, kid. “ bobby said with this understanding smile as he stands next to her, a hand rubbing her shoulder and she thinks last year she never would have been able to do this, never would have let bobby this close, she thinks maybe this is what all that cliched talk of healing is supposed to mean, little things like this. she thinks maybe this she can do.

green eyes floating towards where the stockings hung once more and then towards the crowd of family scattered throughout the living room she took a breath, thought of her dad without a vice grip on her heart, the way the snow felt against her cheek when he rolled them around and how it felt when she saw her stocking on the mantel with all the others and how if anything else it made all the painful ache in her chest ebb just enough. it was funny how she felt like bambi herself in this moment, shaky legged and unsure as she made her way towards the mantle and picked up the red and white striped stocking with her name stitched in green lettering.

“ you’re my brave girl, you know that ? “ her dad said, reaching out to tweak her nose causing her to scrunch her features with a giggle.

“ daddys always say that. “ she protested, legs swinging where she was sat on the kitchen counter.

“ that’s because daddys are always right, “ he said with a knowing smile as he smoothed the bandage over her knee and reached behind him and like the magic she always assumed her dad had produced a bright blue sucker, “ especially when it comes to their brave girls. “

a breath in and a breath out and she carefully placed the stocking on the hook already placed and waiting for her.

“ looks good up there. “ athena’s voice called from where she was sat and quinn nodded, a smile she hadn’t felt in what felt like such a long time curving her lips as she looked at it before making her way back to her seat with the family and sat down, legs curling underneath her as she looked around at them. these people; these, crazy, wonderful, hilarious, strong and sweet people were hers and maybe she was even theirs. for now, that was enough, for now she could do this.

“ yeah, yeah it does. “

“ merry christmas, baby girl. “ a ruffle of her hair, a kiss against her forehead and the smell of his cologne so clear and present, curling around her like a memory, like a blanket.

#→ once as soft as water / quinn callahan #→ here to stand between you and the chaos / 911onfox #→ write until it feels as natural as breathing / abigail writes #so here's some soft angst about quinn #it's really on brand that i started this a week or two before christmas #and it's now the end of feburary before i finished and posted it #but here it is !#eventually more will be posted about quinn #also feel free to ask about her if you want !#after this i have a canon-divergent auish lone star fic in the work #that should hopefully have the first chapter up tomorrow while i'm at work of course lol #but anyways enjoy and validate me mrs. chanandler bong please !

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outrunningthedark · 3 years

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Thinking more thoughts about your post...Something about how Buck, actively and with intention, chose to show up for Christopher. He chose to be a loving parental figure to Chris, when he easily could have been dad's best bud/fun uncle guy. And in a way, Eddie made a choice, too? Because of his parents' multiple attempts to take Christopher from him, Eddie could have walked away. Of course he never in a million years would have abandoned Chris. But he could have and he chose not to. Not out of obligation, but a deep, abiding love. (Which Buck saw from day one: telling Maddie that Eddie doesn't think of Chris as a "burden" at all, he "loves that kid like crazy.")

I think it's interesting how the Buckley-Diaz family is a family built entirely by choice ("you don't find it son you make it..."). And how powerful and beautifully queer it all is?

Anyway, I 💜 the Buckley-Diazes and always appreciate your thoughts on them.

Let’s talk about how our favorite family came to be, yes? It starts, of course, with Eddie Diaz, Christopher’s biological father and current legal guardian (people don’t like when I omit these facts so...there ya go). Eddie finds out Shannon is pregnant with their first child and what does he do? Enlist in the army. Outwardly, he claims it’s for financial reasons - it’s the easiest way he can provide for their family. However, he knows (and later admits) that part of his motivation for enlisting not once, but twice, was to escape his responsibilities, especially after Christopher was diagnosed with cerebral palsy. In flashbacks from Eddie Begins, we find out that Eddie held a small photo of Christopher close to him as he fought to survive in Afghanistan, illustrating his desire to return home to his son in one piece. After being discharged from the army, Eddie goes home to his family (just as he said he would!) and is soon left to care for Christopher on his own because Shannon decides she needs time to figure herself out. Eddie’s parents try to plead their case for why Christopher should be left with them - Eddie is working three jobs to provide for his son, practically killing himself, and Helena and Ramon view this as a bad thing because it leaves him with no time for “what matters most”. They also don’t approve of Eddie wanting to pursue a firefighting career because he will be working 24-hour shifts, “leaving Christopher with God knows who”. Eddie’s left his son before, it wouldn’t be a shock if he took his parents’ advice and did it again, right? Well. Instead of giving in to Helena and Ramon, Eddie CHOSE to ask Christopher how he felt when Eddie was overseas. He wanted to hear his child, not his parents, say it would be better if he were gone (again). Christopher (unsurprisingly) did not do that. “I miss you all the time.” In that moment, Eddie made a promise to both himself and Christopher that wherever they go, they go together or not all. Eddie’s application to be a firefighter with the 118 in LA is eventually accepted, allowing he and Christopher to embark on a new journey without interference from the grandparents (or other Diaz family members). It is here that he crosses paths with his new coworker, Evan Buckley. Eddie does not receive a warm welcome from Buck at first because Buck feels “threatened” by the new guy stealing all the attention. It doesn’t take long for them to call a truce, however. By the end of Eddie’s introductory episode (2.01), both men realize they make a good team and agree to have each other’s backs. The friendship/relationship being formed between Buck and Eddie helps Eddie come clean about being a single dad, and their bond is already at a level where Eddie feels comfortable having Buck bring him to Christopher’s school after an earthquake and drop them both off at home. He basically just met this man and is like, “Sure, I’ll put my kid’s life in your hands. I trust you to get him (and me) home safely.” Alright. Makes sense. Then things get very interesting very quickly. Eddie’s grandmother takes a bad fall and breaks her hip, leaving no one to watch Christopher while Eddie is working. Eddie and Buck (yeah, you read that right) go to the hospital to retrieve Christopher and bring him back to the 118 until Eddie’s aunt is out of work. Eddie is nervous to talk to Bobby about Christopher, but it turns out he didn’t need to be because “Buck gave me a heads up.” Buck...told Bobby they were gonna show up with Christopher... and Eddie had no clue... OKAY. Oh, but Buck wasn’t done! He decides to call in reinforcements (Carla) so Eddie can get Christopher whatever he needs without mentioning it to Eddie (possibly/probably because he felt that Eddie would try to push back against the idea that he was struggling). It is at this point we can see how Buck is assuming a role in both Eddie and Christopher’s lives. He is ready and willing to assist Eddie with Christopher’s care whenever necessary. Skipping ahead to season 3... the Buckley-Diaz family dynamic is reinforced in a big way. Buck’s mental health is declining after a blood clot keeps him from returning to work, so Eddie comes up with a solution he thinks will help: have Christopher hang out with his Buck (that’s canon!) while Eddie is at work. Buck cannot stay sad/mad for long when around his favorite person, duh. If you’ve seen the show, you know what happened next. There was a tsunami. Christopher ended up missing, but was found alive and in good health. Eddie had two choices in the aftermath: never leave Buck alone with Christopher again, or realize there was no way Buck could have predicted a natural disaster and move on. He CHOSE the latter because he couldn’t deny what his heart was telling him: there is nobody in this world Eddie trusts with his son more than Buck. Just when you think things are back to normal, Buck finds out Bobby is the reason he hasn’t been able to return to work, and decides to file a lawsuit in order to get his job back. Eddie is angered by this because he is not permitted to reach out to Buck while the lawsuit is ongoing. He is still angry with Buck after the lawsuit is settled (Buck is reinstated to avoid bad press), but CHOOSES to forgive him because they’re supposed to be a team. I would be amiss if I didn’t mention the skateboard incident. Eddie not only CHOSE to confide in Buck about what he perceived to be his shortcomings as a father to a disabled child, but he CHOSE to work with Buck on building an adaptive skateboard (rather than nix the idea all together),& he also CHOSE to have Buck there the first time Christopher gave it a try. In Eddie’s mind, Buck was part of the solution, not the problem. Which brings us to...season four. Christopher has been separated from his immediate family and friends due to the pandemic, but you know who Eddie *does* allow him to see in person? Yep. His Buck. *pretends to be shocked* Several episodes later (4.08 to be exact) Christopher is having a hard time coping with being isolated from everyone he loves, so he goes to the first person he can think of (without asking his dad!): Buck. What has always struck me about this scene is how Buck did not wait for Eddie to handle the situation. He took it upon himself to get Christopher to open up about his feelings and then reassured him that he would never have to worry about being separated from Buck because “I’m not going anywhere.” Time passes and things seem to be going okay, but then...Eddie gets shot. Buck’s first instinct once he knows Eddie is in surgery is to inform Christopher of what has happened. He has to be the one to tell him. Buck also decides he has to be the one looking after Christopher while Eddie remains unconscious post-op. When Eddie finally wakes up, he confirms Buck made the correct decision: “You were there for him when I couldn’t be. That’s what matters.” That’s plenty of warm and fuzzy “I choose you” type of content, right? We’re done here? Mmm...not yet. Eddie had one last thing to say. A year prior to his shooting, Eddie nearly died during the rescue of a young boy trapped inside a well. When he managed to make it out alive, Eddie started thinking thoughts, mainly, what would happen to Christopher if Eddie died? Who would take care of him? (I bet you can guess where this is going, huh?) The answer is Buck. Eddie wants Buck to be Christopher’s legal guardian if Eddie dies. Why? “No one will ever fight for my son as hard as you. That is what I want for him.” And WHY did Eddie wait so long to tell Buck this life-changing news? Because Buck genuinely believed he should have been shot instead of Eddie. Eddie has a son who needs him to stick around, obviously. What does Buck have? Who does Buck have? Answer: Buck has Christopher (and by extension, he has Eddie). Eddie told the truth because he realized this was the one thing he could do to ensure that Buck begins to prioritize his own health and safety. You act like you’re expendable. But you’re wrong. tl;dr THEY ARE OFFICIALLY TIED TOGETHER UNTIL THE END OF TIME BECAUSE IT’S WHAT EDDIE WANTS.

#tv: 911 #tv: 9-1-1 #christopher diaz #eddie diaz #evan buckley #buddie #buckley-diaz boys #this right here is why sometimes my answers take three days #get me going on the buckley-diaz fam and look what happens

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caralynsmoved · 5 years

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care

fandom: 911onfox characters: evan “ buck “ buckley, bobby nash, athena grant, maddie buckley, ( the fire fam and christopher are mentioned ) relationships: evan “ buck “ buckley & bobby nash, athena grant/bobby nash, mentions of evan “ buck “ buckley/eddie diaz, maddie buckley/howie “ chimney “ han rating: general audiences warning(s): mentions of attempted self harm, no actual self harm in this story but it is assumed and mentioned quite a few times in the beginning of the story and will be brought up throughout the course of it. be safe ! setting: set during 3x06 “ monsters “ but goes au pretty much as soon as bobby shows up to the hospital.

“ hello ? “

“ is this robert nash ? “ a female voice he doesn’t recognize on the other end asks and bobby feels his brows knit together as he steps away from the sink where he had been washing up last night’s dishes, unable to close his eyes without his mind racing.

“ speaking, “ he says warily, wiping his hands on a dish towel before he moves to hold his phone more securely from where he had had it resting in the crook of his shoulder.

“ i’m calling from cedars-sinai, an evan buckley was admitted early this morning and you’re listed as his next of kin, he - “

“ what ? “ the confused and immediately worried question slipped past his lips as he started to look around for his keys, “ is he okay ? “

concern clawed at him as he thought of buck’s eager face, the deflated set of his shoulders, the plea in his voice and how last night as he walked away the confused worry on buck’s face, how he couldn’t believe bobby’s care for him. he had been angry and hurt, letting his feelings overshadow his love for buck and now buck was hurt and once again it might have been all his fault because for all his talk and thoughts of wanting to protect the younger man all he had seemed to hurt him more.

“ he’s stable, he cut himself and because of the blood thinners he was on he needed a transfusion - “

all of the woman’s other words were drowned out in a rush of white noise, static rushing to fill the void as the words he cut himself, he cut himself .. he cut himself echoed. maybe there was a rational explanation, maybe buck had simply nicked himself shaving or broke a glass but … but. there was a voice in the back of his head telling him that buck had been through so much lately, lost so much and sure they had been there for most of it, but after a while buck really had been going through it alone, the second recovery after the pulmonary embolism, the tsunami, the lawsuit … buck had been convinced he was doing it all alone and maybe one some level they had let him. guilt curled around his ribs like a familiar vice and he forced himself to breath, if that had happened, if buck was so hurt that he had done this then the kid needed him, them, now more than ever and this time he wouldn’t let himself be pushed away, wouldn’t convince himself that buck was okay, he’d there, they all would.

“ I'll be right there, “ bobby was quick to hang up the phone, pocketing it as he finally spotted his keys hung up on the rack and was out the door and down the driveway before it could even swing shut.

∞

“ mr. nash ? “

the call of his name stopped bobby’s pacing and his debates over whether to call his wife or maddie or anybody, but every time he thought about what to say the words dried up in his throat and now at least he could put those aside for now, “ how is he ? is he okay ? can i see him ? “

“ take a breath, mr. nash. “ the doctor instructed him not unkindly, “ i’m doctor rice, i’m the one who treated him. your son’s going to be just fine, I can take you to see him right now, if you’ll just follow me. “

“ thank you, “ the words seemed hollow, seemed not enough as he spoke them but, she seemed to understand, once more giving him a kind smile before leading him past the double doors and into a quiet room where the lights were dimmed and it was only when they were in the quiet and he could see buck in his sights that what she had said finally filtered through;

your son’s going to be just fine

when she had first said that he had just focused, clung to the fact that buck was going to be okay that he hadn’t even really registered the wording she had used. it wasn’t the first time someone had mistaken buck as his kid, whether teasingly or seriously and he usually just shook his head, brushed it off, a few times with a smile, sometimes with a declaration that buck wasn’t his kid, but maybe it finally the weight of everything that had happened, maybe it was sitting across from buck at arbitration having their relationship pieced apart, maybe it was his wife’s words, maybe even it was the way buck looked at him with worry and fear when he had told him to go home, but maybe it was mostly standing in his kitchen with a nurse telling him that his kid was hurt...

… he just didn’t correct them this time, held onto it for just a little while longer.

the early morning light filtered through the pale curtains of the room and cast a pale glow over the sleeping young man curled up in the chair.

“ like i explained he needed a transfusion just to be safe and antibiotics. after he was all cleaned up he crashed, been in and out since. “

bobby nodded, making his way to buck’s side, resting a shaky hand on the side of his face not hidden in the blankets and finally breathes. buck for his part snuffled in his sleep, leaning into the touch with the softest of sounds like nothing was wrong at all anymore.

oh, kid …

“ he should be fine to leave once he’s up, cuts were sealed up and he ran out the antibiotics and transfusion, just need to sign him out. “

“ thank you, really, thank you, “ she reached out to lay a hand on his shoulder with a sympathetic smile, “ i’ve been really worried about him, lately. “

“ i think we always worry about the ones we love, no matter how old they get, “ doctor rice said, shaking her head with a soft laugh, “ but your kid ? you don’t have to worry too much, he’s a hero, saved that guys life last night and the woman’s too, neither of them would have made it too long if he hadn’t found them when he did. “

confusion washed through him at her words and he found him fishing for words, all the thoughts that had been lurking and growing in the dark recesses of his brain falling away in the realization of her words, “ he didn’t … he didn’t do this ? “

similar confusion played across the doctor’s features before realization dawned and she immediately shook her head, eyes wide, “ oh, oh mr. nash i am so sorry i thought the nurse had explained his injuries, i had no idea .. “ she shook her head once more, features firm as she explained, “ your son didn’t hurt himself, from what i understand he found a woman with a man through her windshield of all things. the woman herself had a bleed in her brain and the man was in need of serious care as you can imagine and he managed to pull them over and keep them stable until help arrived, he saved their lives. “

“ it’s what he does, “ bobby said, a lump in his throat and a sad smile crossed his lips, fingers gentle as ever stroking along blonde curls, “ drives me crazy sometimes with it, “

“ don’t they all, “ was the fond response he got as she walked away, clipboard held to her chest, “ i’ll give you two the room, whenever he’s up just let the charge nurse know and they’ll set up with discharge. “

#→ care / unfinished #→ and he thought of the way buck would hold onto his hand so tightly like he would fall away if he let go / evan buckley & bobby nash #→ here to stand between you and the chaos / 911onfox #this one should thankfully just be a long one shot but who knows with me at this point #this has been sitting in my google docs since that episode #because i was reading other fics and then the thought hit my head that without clarification and with buck's history of depression #and bobby's knowledge of how dark things can get when you feel like that it would have been so easy for him to go worst case scenario #so i really wanted to just expand a little on that without taking away the goodness that was their talk in that ep #so i didn't really rewrite things so much as tweak and expand #because honestly it was one of my favorite eps #and i figured hey what better time to clean out my docs again then the hiatus #because everyone is looking for more things to read #happy holidays ducklings !

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