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throwing-roses-into-the-abyss · 1 year

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very seriously considering suggesting doing a traditional folk dress/19th century clothing exhibit at the museum from january onwards if the museum board doesn't have other plans yet but also. can I realistically put together an entire exhibit in like 3 months (within which I'll be gone for two weeks to take a break in october) with accompanying promotions and book.

#I want to do a bunch of different mannequins with outfits for different occassions and different social classes #and make a small wall of headwear #the book should be relatively easy now that I have way more time on my hands #since I can just pluck a lot of the information I have in the manual and turn it into a separate little book #get some better photos for some things #that should be relatively easy (I say naively)#I also would like to add a selfie wall where people can put on a traditional hat/skirt/whatever and take a photo #also if we get all this done on time we can do a LOT of promoting during the historical christmas market #have like 'gotten curious about what people actually wore in *town*? come see our exhibit starting in 2 weeks!' posters or smth #idk I just think it'd be really cool to really round off the project with an exhibit

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sallytwo · 3 months

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Jennifer nearly jumped into the water / and she was tired like no one's ever been tired

#myart #wesley crusher #jennifer is on her way home. then she remembers her life is like a nightmare!!!!#geniunelyyyy thinking about the post-first duty years of wesleys life is so miserable.#he killed his best friend and ruined his friendship with everyone else and lost picards respect (the only thing he ever cared about)#and then you just. dont hear about him at all for 2 years.#trying to capture the extremely specific existential dread of knowing something is deeply wrong in your life but not being able to change.#JUST THE LOOK OF A YOUNG MAN WHOS PROFOUNDLY UNHAPPY AND DOESNT EVEN KNOW WHY!!!#the quote from that novel. where he says “jaxa knew better than the rest of us the only way to escape this thing was to die”. ITS SICK!!#like leaving starfleet was not even on his radar until journeys end. he didnt even consider that as an option. so what could he do.#man. theres a reason for the prominently placed golden gate bridge. jennifer nearly jumped into the water.... cuz she got no way to get out #the photos in the bg are him and picard. jack. two of joshie (the ski tripppppp) him and bev and the entire nova squadron up top #do i think he would have his room this nicely decorated while horribly depressed NO!!! it was just for the compostion of the piece #like trying so hard to keep up appearances. being surrounded by pictures of all the people who love him and still not able to get out.#some of the papers lying around the desk are like. intended to be letters to bev that he just gave up on writing.#OKAY sorry i just wanted to finish this before i leave tomorrow. i spent such a stupid amount of time on this. never again #you people should always talk to me forever about my friend wesley . im soooo normal. lies facedown on floor #OH AND THE VERY SPECIFIC. EMOTION. LYING ON BED IN FULL UNIFORM. WE'VE ALLLL BEEN THERE.

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lucalicatteart · 7 months

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A few silly little small sculptures that I made with some of the leftover clay from the main one I did recently

#sculpture #birds #neopets #sparkly little aishas my beloved.....#Though I actually kind of liked them with a matte finish more?? I wanted to try out making them sparkly and shiny..but #I think they might have looked better before adding all the shine. BUT I kind of like both. Maybe I should make two more that aren't shiny #just to have variation lol... an entire army of tiny aishas.....#The little house is so bad lol I hada headache at that point and kind of just wanted to get everything over with #(I bake the clay all at once so I had to get the smaller ones done to go with the main one)#and was like.. zero effort into making things line up or measuring at all. one window on one side is like twice as big as on the other lol #but I think from afar ifnot examined too closely it's still kind of cute. The birds were also just random like 'what can I shape out of thi #s small blob of clay I have leftover' etc. I did actually put irridescent eyeshaow on the pigeon but it just doesnt show up in photos ToT #The other bird is not anything in specific... some sort of random fantasy creature bird with slight purple on it's wings or something #The strawberry is exclusively just a quickly done accessory for the birds.. I wanted them to have a little meal to share #even though I dont know if birds eat strawberries #the last picture in the set is them all sitting on a shelf (the most well lit place I could find) but looks weird #since it has all of my avocado pit eyes in the background......... ominous backdrop for such peaceful little creachures..#you kind of cant tell what they are from that angle though i guess lol

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icewindandboringhorror · 2 years

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Just curious what the average level of personal investment in these sorts of things is. Like, how much do people usually get into silly stuff like this their friends ask of them? etc. etc. Which I know, only surveying a small sample on a very specific website means I'm not getting an exact average idea lol, but.. curious nonetheless .. Maybe reblog for bigger sample size but also this is not very serious at all/not worth a call to action gbhjbhjb

#which I know this could be context dependent like.. maybe you'd normally dress up but on a week that #you feel sick you wouldn't or etc. etc. - but I mean.. GENERALLY. in the most general average scenario #where you have the average amount of health and free time that you always do. etc. just based on your personality #and level of investment in these things - what on AVERAGE are you most inclined to do #also of course assume they communicate with you ahead of time and are not like planning a part last minute #like 'throw together costume in 5 hours and show up tonight randomly' or etc. I would hope that if we're going with the #AVERAGE of things - most people's friends have better communication skills than springing entire parties #on people last minute lol #assume you have like.. a few days-a week or so to prepare. however ealrly people usually start talking about #birthdays. In my experience it's usually one or two weeks ahead of time. Like 'oh next weekend' or 'oh two weeks from now' etc.#ANYWAY.. feeling a little Sick again of course but still trying to get some photos or something posted #AGAIN i promise I am not going to exlcusively post polls and ntohing else forever hgkjgnekj #I just really really love the ability to post polls and have always my whole life been obsessed with surveying people #I used to think I wanted to do that as a career somehow like.. be one of the people that does psychological interviews #or produce interview asessments for a company or etc. etc. I am always the one friend in the group thats giving out custom made #surveys or asking for other simialr stuff (did you ever take an mbti quiz? how about enneagra #m?? oh yeah I know they're not really scientifically valid or antyhing but like... DID you take them?? huh?? did you??please?? ghjj)#I simply cannot resist.. posting a little poll every once in a while.. as a treat #whilst I still fall behind on like actual content and costumes and stuff gbjhbjh #New poll adventure should be not as much of a wait as the last one was though since I already have the writing #for it really. I just have to do the ms paint sketch. hopefully no unexpected other health issues will get in the way #*** *** ***#< (anytime I do these three star patterns it is an ocd compulsion not me bleeping out words or something just ignore it lol)#(it means something secret in my evil brain just pretend you do not see it. significant only to me)#BUT YEAH.. ... poll... what type of costume party atendee are you?#:0c

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faaun · 7 months

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my research partner and i are huddled in a blanket in paddington waiting for a too-late train i already miss you and you and you

#he keeps falling asleep almost on my shoulder and waking up and readjusting but i want to tell him its ok weve seen a lot #of each other ive seen your brainwaves you called me crying a few nights ago. research partner right now is a potentiality #friend is a certainty. i met a banker passionate about finance. he said his advice made the lives of others better and he likes the numbers #more than he likes anything else. on a high rise near canary wharf the view was wonderful and the people even moreso #he said i loved her but i spent 33 grand on her and i cant do this anymore. his voice cracked talking about her. he did love her.#and she talked softly she grabbed my hand she bought me a pack of Marlborough gold she told me to snap #the russian menthol cigarettes of the tortured polish man near us with my teeth i kept staring at her teeth #bright white and sharp. i couldnt find her heartbeat but i did find warmth and i did find her lips and i did feel #how she felt pressed against a wall. a pretty boy held my hand and i gave him my number. i couldnt stop smiling about her no matter #how many runways youve walked on how many collections youve designed how many students youve taught. senior lecturer teaches me how to do #very unethical things ethically over a double shot of vodka made by the half-persian with broken farsi. she talks softly #and she says her eyes are hazel but they appear a shade of red. pure gold on her hands and leather on her back and her fingers on my lips #(she talks softly sees through me she says something i cant hear but i wont forget the way she flies) she talked to my research partner #about the possibility of moving to sunny dubai with the rest of her family and my heart felt pierced. on her arm i traces a tattoo of a #knife passing through a rose. she told me she thought there was romance in severing so i kissed her some more.#he sat me down and asked me what i loved and i told him and he said no romance no person no tragedy will take that from you.#the room was filled with a collection of people in love with something that wasnt a person and i kept looking at her.#red eyes bitten jawline beautiful hands. it is 3 degrees Celsius my head is on his shoulder i miss my friends #we walked out the lecture hall with arms linked a photo of two years ago and we both said #jesus christ. i miss you all. and i miss logic metatheory lectures. im glad i get to stare at the depth of your eyes #i wish i had met you years ago.#crushposting

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valcaine · 5 months

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she's summoning the hoes

+ the process image I got before it went downhill

#some of marcilles features arent correct here (her hair is too dark n her features are too defined)#but its my first art of any of the characters + i was looting my friends' supplies since i was in school LMAO #anyways i never wanna touch trad art for another decade #(Refrain from spoilers. my ahh is a anime only viewer atm)#marcille donato #marcille dungeon meshi #marcille delicious in dungeon #delicious in dungeon fanart #dungeon meshi fanart #dungeon meshi #rip marcille you wouldve loved pink monster cans #<- quote by my friend #hate school lighting brah #art more like fart #art #traditional art #ill probably get a better photo of the thing later #shoutout to tumblr for posting this thing TWICE

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bunnihearted · 7 months

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🐇💭

#i've decided that after i've recovered from surgery i want a glow up!!!#i want to make an effort to try to feel better nd not be so miserable all the time. it's so draining nd soul sucking :<#nd some things i wanna do is start better habits such as journaling nd reading a chapter every morning #meditate/do mindfulness every evening. do a full body stretch routine once a day. go to the gym 3-5 times a week.#ofc daily walks in nature (i've missed that sm). spending time w my cat nd dog. getting better at studying a little bit every day #i might even bleach my hair nd dye it... i just wanna dye it one last time then im done T-T #smth im unsure of is my diet. i have no idea what i can eat nd atm im so hungry but im scared of eating. so i'll have to figure that out #nd then try to meet up w my old high school friend every now nd again #try to keep asking for help from the personality disorder psychiatric clinic... or try to get online therapy maybe???#i just wanna feel better nd *do* smth so these r some of the thinngs i wanna try to do to feel better :3 #hopefully i'll feel better soon nd recover as swiftly as possible so i can start wanting to do these things #oh and also!! wanna try to revive my interests. such as writing more nd taking photos nd such

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sunlightfeeling · 2 months

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Staff: “You look beautiful, after all. I think we’re done! ☺️”

Kimura: “What’s with those eyes? 😠”

Monitoring / モニタリング: 2019.1.17

#monitoring #モニタリング #tsukutta #a clip #i need to post the other things i put on twitter here at some point…..#this one is a good start from today tho #also i really liked my caption so im stickin with it for once #…ill get to the other posts soon..ish 😭#(OKAY to be incredibly honest since you’ve read this far [hiiii fourth wall breaker hereee]..#..one of the posts [shingo shop photos] needs some more work like….internally…#meaning i found fuckin dupes AND…. i really want to scan them to see if they come out in better quality or not 😔)

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forcedhesitation · 6 months

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...just heard about the upcoming perk changes...hmm...yeah. the only good one definitely is the adrenaline nerf. I've wanted them to take away healing off hook forever.

the other perk changes are ass.

ultimate weapon is still outrageously unfair, even if you take away the screaming! to me, it feels like they just saw the uptick in people using calm spirit following the addition of ultimate weapon, and decided "hm, the way to deal with this is to remove the screaming." no! this perks needs to be reworked differently! given a longer cooldown, something! it does way too much for just one perk!

DS buff isn't going to stop tunnelling. strong killers don't care if you stun them, and weaker survivors likely won't even have DS because it's licensed...waste of a buff. just as they should do with off the record, they need to spread out these important anti-tunnel strategies to general perks. it's so unfair that something this important be gated behind a DLC. and no one perk should ever be too strong!

also, I saw otz's commentary on the changes. I could not agree more that certain killers should be nerfed directly, rather than trying to just balance perks generally. not all killers interact with different perks the same... nurse, wesker, huntress, blight, etc do not care about a stun, even if it's increased in length. you need to change them & how their powers work in relation to stuns, so survivors have a chance to get away from them, rather than buffing the perk so that old man ghostface has an even worse time in this dogshit meta lmao.

#dbd #thoughts about media #I haven't been on twitter in a while. I'm sure survivor mains are crying real hard about the adren nerf.#as if it was fair that the perk would heal you off hook like that. again: one perk should never do THAT much.#like. steve has a perk that heals you off hook. but it does ONLY that and you have to heal another survivor FIRST.#that feels fair! it does one thing and there's a trade-off! and the heal isn't immediate.#it's 16 seconds and then you heal. and you have base kit BT for 10 seconds to get away from the killer.#tbh- a slight buff to second wind would have been better than a DS buff. like. idk. reduce it to 12 seconds to heal off hook?#but second wind is a licensed perk again. so they should rather focus on making some general perk that does something like this instead.#there are sooo many survivor perks that are total dogshit and do nothing. including MANY general perks. REWORK THOSE!!!#I can't imagine this DS buff going to be a problem for hux because he's kind of a way more fair version of nurse.#he's very mobile. he just requires a lot more patience and skill to play.#I haven't seen anything about his planned changes yet. I'm hoping so badly that it will be a slight buff.#and by that I mean PLEASE MAKE SOMA FAMILY PHOTO BASE KIT!!!!!!#or even partially base kit!!! he should NOT be so dependent on one add on.#making it fully base kit wouldn't even be a problem because that would not impact kill rates at all.#this total hottie is only played by myself and a total of 5 other people worldwide.#making soma family photo isn't going to change that LOL.#like...some people might TRY him if he gets buffed. but I assure you- it would take a miracle to make more hux mains.

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basiltonpitch · 1 year

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on losing a mother

#yelling #s.poem #mom tag #poetry #okay to reblog #it's officially been over a year since the last time i saw my mom.#her skin was translucent paper thin and she looked so fragile in tht hospital bed but she was supposed to be getting better #and she did. for about a month.#she went back into the hospital 3 days after my birthday.#she stayed there for like 2 weeks and then died about a week after she checked herself out.#the last time she ever texted me was on my birthday. i waited two days to text back. and i never heard back from her.#the next time i saw her she was a pile of grey ashes in a plastic urn. she sits on my shelf now. i haven't gotten her a new urn yet.#i try not to feel guilty. there wasn't much i could do from a thousand miles away #but i still feel the guilt every day itching under my skin and screaming at me in my mind that i should have done better #that i should have been there for her #her phone number has since been given to someone else. i deactivated her facebook account. i cleaned out her apartment & threw away almost #all of her belongings.#i took photo albums. i took some jewelry - including the ring she wore as she was cremated. it survived the fire. the funeral home put it #in the urn with her ashes. i wear it sometimes just to feel like there's still a part of her with me.#but she's gone and i don't believe in an afterlife and neither did she #there's some comfort in knowing she is no longer in pain that she is no longer suffering #but i still sit here and i think of all the things i never got to tell her and the new things i want to tell her every single day #i never got to come out to her. not really. i never got to tell her that i understood what she went thru with my dad because i lived it too #anyways. sorry for going off in the tags. i'm okay i promise. just feeling a lot of feelings right now.

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chiropteracupola · 1 year

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come and sit with me by candlelight

#em makes stuff #the flight of the heron #adventures of tiny keith and ewen #it's TIME to get COZY! better be prepared you've got no choice but to be COZY!#these are some of my favorite photos I have ever taken of these two and I am Incredibly pleased with this whole set #if you would believe it I did most of this photoshoot While actively watching ladyhawke. so that's a thing.#also while holding a fake tealight in my teeth for lighting purposes (no longer have access to a fancy lighting setup)#HOW do the bjd people do it (answer: they have dolls actually designed for holding a complex pose)#and presumably nicer backdrops than an unpainted triptych board and a bandana. but we make do we make do.

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tea-earl-grey · 3 days

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i have such a grudge about this specific clip from Coda because this is now the third time i'm going to try to edit it to make the colors look nice and every time i do anything, it immediately starts looking weird as hell. idk what lighting they were using or what happened with the color grading but i swear it's cursed. however it is one of the few times we see Janeway cry so alas i do have to keep using it.

#i'm now using the fan made hd remaster so it's already looking a little better!#but idk every time i try to brighten it or increase the saturation or mess with the contrast it looks grainy as hell #and there's a weird green-ish quality to the light that's never in another shot in mess hall!#don't get me wrong there's Weird Coloring issues in all of Voyager bc of when it was made but this clip haunts me for some reason #also color grading in video editing software is so much more difficult than in photoshop/photo editing software #in my head it should be the same but no :(#sorry niche complaint post but i needed to get it off my chest #also the bulk of my Janeway vid is edited now! just doing color grading/adding subtitles #which might take awhile because i'm trying to learn new fancy things but i might get frustrated and just end up posting it lmao #editing woes #my posts

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vamptastic · 4 months

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yk i genuinely don't think ive ever been able to actually express my gender dysphoria out loud to another person cos with my family they'll get uncomfortable or think im somehow bragging bc i have the misfortune of a hyperfeminine body, with therapists im always trying not to say smth that makes me sound too self hating to get letters written, and with other trans people i don't want to upset them. idk writing it down just feels like im cataloguing everything that's wrong with me but I don't think ill ever have anyone i can talk to about it either

#i guess i got lucky in some ways with PCOS and my face is androgynous #but just even besides my weight my body type itself is just. not doing me any favors when it comes to passing #maybe if i was skinny i could deal with it or fat with an otherwise masculine body but both just feels very insurmountable #like ive just never seen a cis man that looks anything like me even guys that r the same weight #hell even trans men never look like me #idk maybe t will help with it longterm and at the end of the day it is what it is. like i don't have to like my body to be kind to myself #been considering lipo with top surgery too bc i just #i don't even have the typical pcos body type that is a little more masculine #like ugh. realistically ik i always cover myself head to toe anyways and that nobody is rlly looking that hard #in most photos if im dressed well i just look like a guy with wide hips. most strangers who've seen photos of me #assumed i was cis esp with clothes that diminish the hips #but i wish i could look at myself naked and not be utterly disgusted and alienated at almost all my features is all #ik itll get better with top surgery and i do have things i like like my shoulders and calves #but man just. i know i am not the first to express this but being a 5'3 fat man with an hourglass figure is not fun!#they literally do not make mens pants in my size 😭 at least not ones i can go try on in a store #i would just really like to kill the transphobe in my head mostly. or at least show his ugly ass to somebody else.

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reflectionsofgalaxies · 30 days

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gonna do the stupid thing for my stupid mental health