He goin through it yall
(Bros been manipulated into believing he’s a DOLL🙏)
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simon doodle in honor of fionna and cake dropping, sad old men gotta b my favorite species tbh
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i’ve been truly gobsmacked one single time in my entire life and it was during a conversation i had with my therapist dalton about three months after i started seeing him. it went something like this:
dalton: you’d mentioned going to therapy multiple times before, what were those experiences like?
me: *tells him about experiences*
dalton: so all of your past therapists with the exception of one have been men, correct?
me: uh yeah, i guess so.
dalton: was that coincidence or do you prefer speaking with men?
me: i guess i just feel more comfortable talking to a man.
dalton: do you think there’s a reason?
me: i don’t know, i’ve never put much thought into it honestly.
dalton: based on what you’ve told me in prior sessions, do you think it has anything to do with your father being absent both emotionally and physically?
me: uh
dalton: the only reason i ask is because you say you’re indifferent to his indifference as he’s always been unreliable and you’re “used to it.” but do you realize when you’ve talked about your struggles with seeking external validation in wanting people to be proud of you, the people in question are almost exclusively older men who are some kind of authority figure to you? and based on what you’ve told me about your childhood, you didn’t really get the validation and connection you wanted from your father, which is part of why you seek it elsewhere. and while that makes sense, i want to make sure you understand it’s okay if him not doing what a father should do still hurts you, even if though you think it shouldn’t hurt anymore because you’ve been living with his disappointment for the past twenty or so years. it doesn’t matter how old a wound is, sometimes they still hurt.
me: uhh
dalton: anyway, back to my question. do you think it has anything to do with that or do you just feel more comfortable being vulnerable with men?
me: uhhh
dalton: take your time. you don’t have to have an answer right now. just something to maybe think about. now, let’s talk about the dead brother thing.
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That scene. That scene right there is soo telling. We've known since the beginning that Blitz has commitment issues, but we're only now starting to see just how deep they ran and just how much they affect his relationships.
I feel like these words, "I love you," trigger blaring alarms in his head, a panic reaction. Remember what happened the first time he dared to love someone? The first time he tried to confess his love?
Oh, nothing big.
He just permanently disfigured his crush, killed his mother and ruined his sister's life*.
This accident, this event lies in the core of 90% of his issues and problems.
This is why he runs the second things get serious. This is why he dumps Verosica the second she says she loves him.
In Blitz's eyes, his love is destructive. His love only ruins. So if he cuts ties before things get too complicated, maybe the other person won't get even more hurt, even more damaged. It's a twisted and fucked up desire to protect not only himself and his heart but also his loved ones**. It has turned into a self-fulfilling prophecy and a never-ending cycle: the more he pushes and pushes and pushes, the more people push back. Because no one likes getting hurt. No one likes having their heart broken. And when these people finally snap, when they've had enough of Blitz's bullshit? He can point and say, see? I told you so! They are better off without me!
Blitz's cruelty doesn't stem from outright malice. It stems from Blitz being deeply broken and damaged.
Before he can start a stable romantic relationship of any kind, he needs to forgive himself for that accident. Otherwise, that deeply rooted self-loathing will continue to get in the way and cause him to repeatedly self-sabotage. And he has to do it himself, Verosika can't do it for him, M&M can't do it for him, Stolas can't do it for him.
The good news is that he is already taking the necessary steps. Making up with Fizz: a step in the right direction. Genuinely apologizing to Stolas and Verosika: a step in the right direction. Letting go of Stolas, realizing that his actions have serious consequences on his loved ones, owning up to his mistakes: all steps in the right direction. I don't know about ya'll but I'm eager to see where this is going and what happens next.
*it was an accident. Wrong place, wrong time, but Blitz sure as hell doesn't believe that.
**I belive this last bit is fully subconscious and Blitz isn't much aware of it. He says it himself: he buries all of it deep in his mind, avoids thinking about it at all costs
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thinking about how ponyboy passing out right after dally's death must have been absolutely horrifying for darry.
they had just lost johnny, and dally was dead on the ground in front of them, and then his baby brother just collapses out of nowhere, because dally didn't know ponyboy was sick, so all of a sudden his baby's unconcious, and he has to deal with the gut-wrenching fear that he's possibly lost ponyboy as well, and yet again darry's unable to process his own grief because god forbid something happen to ponyboy and he's not in the right state of mind.
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I'm very curious (you don't have to take this seriously if you don't want to) but how exactly would Bill find out about how bad OG!Bill is doing? Like, is there an interdimensional bookstore that sells this book? When he's getting his bi-monthly demon gossip magazine at this shop does he just see that book there and double-takes? What's happening there? And what is Dipper's reaction?
I'm not sure if Familiar Bill learns about it through the book, but let's think about that!
Since the book displays differently for everyone - I imagine Familiar!Bill just gets dozens of pages of 'LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LETMEOUTLETMEOUTLETMEOUT' until he claps the thing shut.
Showing Dipper doesn't have much better effects; he just gets the ol' 'PUT JALAPENO PEPPERS IN YOUR EYES' treatment.
Once you put the book aside - I figure Bill finds out through the regular interdimensional rumor mill. Whispers along that strange network of various versions of oneself, carrying mentions of the strange twists and turns of fate.
That day has has Dipper wondering why Bill took one look at his phone, blanched, then started being waaaay too affectionate.
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im not the biggest alhaitham/kaveh shipper (because im a rare pair ho) but it seems to me that in alhaitham/kaveh getting-together fics tend to be... unequal.
the beautiful thing about alhaitham and kaveh is that they're both equally right and equally wrong and equally dicks about it. but the writers for alhaitham/kaveh much more frequently seem to give alhaitham the burden change (the burden of the character flaw) instead of kaveh.
in any good character arc, the main character has a fatal flaw or misconception, and by the end of that arc they have addressed that flaw in some definitive way. scrooge was a scrooge and learned that being that way was detrimental; merlin from finding nemo was overprotective to a fault and had to learn that he couldn't (and shouldn't) control everything and to let go; the wolf from little red riding hood learns that you should stop while you're ahead.
stories centering around romance tend to lean heavily on character arcs, which makes sense. and since romance generally requires two individuals to be vulnerable and open and emotional with each other, it makes double sense that alhaitham/kaveh authors zoom straight into alhaitham's lack of emotional vulnerability.
this bothers me.
in society, individuals are expected to experience and present emotions in a specific way. if someone dies, you cry. if someone smiles at you, you smile back. if you're at a party, you're supposed to be having fun. if you don't do these things, you're seen as impolite at best and a inhuman freak at worst. when these behaviors are frequent it's often viewed as emotional immaturity, or a lack of ability to feel at all. the inability or lack of willingness to conform to societies emotional expectations of you is seen as a flaw and a reason for exclusion.
alhaitham is canonically disliked and avoided for being the way he is. he prefers it this way, but that doesn't mean the people perpetuating this avoidance are in the right. they are the societal pressure to conform that alhaitham blows off. alhaitham could be the way he is for a lot of reasons: avoidant attachment style, trauma, following someone else's example (eg. his grandmother), or just his base personality. it doesn't MATTER. he is the way he is. kaveh having to accept that should be part of the story.
putting the burden of the fatal flaw on alhaitham, making the way alhaitham treats kaveh and the people around him the problem, feels invalidating. it implies heavily that alhaitham's way of interfacing with the world, alhaitham's very SELF, is incorrect. my suggestion is to flip a larger portion of that burden onto kaveh. kaveh 👏 character 👏 arcs 👏
some examples/recommendations:
- make kaveh project his insecurities onto other people but especially onto alhaitham; he's overly reliant on other people for his own self worth, and he perceives alhaitham's lack of positive feedback as a direct reflection of how alhaitham feels about him. but learns along the way that alhaitham doesn't hate him, kaveh's actual struggle is with hating himself and being unable to his own self as worthy of love. maybe throw in how you are responsible for your own recovery, other people can help but you can't rely on them to carry you through self actualization.
- or, kaveh tries to make alhaitham behave more like a "normal" person, to be more pleasant and emotive and forthcoming, and then realizes he's in the wrong for trying to make alhaitham into something he's not, possibly for all the wrong reasons (not because he likes alhaitham better like that, but bc society says that's healthier and a better/more conforming way to be)
- or you could go ahead make alhaitham's issues the main problem but they're too complicated to overcome in a short period of time, so kaveh has to accept alhaitham is doing his best in his own way and not push for unrealistic and unhealthy changes. he could alter his own behavior to give alhaitham space and time and a safe place to land.
that got sappy so it's past time for me to dip out. go forth and ship things; but maybe consider letting alhaitham be a rude stone-faced bastard if he wants to be.
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Thank the lord for Jawbone for addressing Riz’s bottling up of his emotions. He certainly hasn’t told any of them about his tough financial situation even though Fabian definitely could HELP, and I don’t think he’s even told them about why he made up Baron—about being ace and thus feeling left out when they all were in couples either.
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I wish SEGA wasn't a coward and would let IDW use Infinite in their stories because I KNOW these two would have so much beef and could have such interesting interactions, being two sides of the same coin.
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Them cuddling and hugging 💘
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they are canonically 27 and 29 in my head.
Looking at her like she's just returned from war.
gifs 1 2 3 4
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MAJOR BOOK OF BILL SPOILERS
bro what is this guys problem
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TFA Megatron
Propaganda under the cut
Just look at him
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What if after crawling out of the harbor Kaz made sure he knew how to swim, and how to swim with extra weight, because he didn't ever want to rely on someone or something else if he ended up in the water again.
It's one of the things that started the rumors that Dirtyhands wasn't human. Fisherman would see him walk out to the docks in the dead of winter, fully clothed in his coat and all, and then dive into the water, no matter how rough it was. They all assumed that he was dead, because no one ever saw him get out of the water, yet he was always back the next day.
They assumed that he would stop when he broke his leg and started using a cane. But he didn't. They watched the scrawny kid, cloaked in mercher black clothes and a heavy wool coat, limp down the dock, take a deep breath, and jump in the water again.
At some point someone suggested he might be a tidemaker, but no one ever saw him control any water. He'd just dive in. And it's widely known that he wouldn't have made it this far in life if he was using tidemaker powers visibly. So they all just assumed that Kaz Brekker was a non-human entity incapable of dying.
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The key to understanding Lestat is that he is 20 kinds of trauma stacked in a trenchcoat clownsuit trenchcoat, mixed with being a brilliant comedic improv actor who had his career stolen by being forced into vampirism.
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