#giant rant/vent ???? maybe in the tags so yeah

[myriadfrogs]

c2 english exam tomorrow. i think i’m gonna explode

[didon]

Station 19 and Maya

So this is such a bad idea but I really feel like I need to vent so feel free to ignore. This has been triggered by a lot of the reactions I saw in the tags regarding the last episode and how Maya reacted (though most of the complaints where about how woe Carina got cheated on).

The way I see it, Maya most likely suffers from BPD aka Bordeline Personality Disorder from her abuse. That’s a fact by the way, that her father was and still is an abusive pos. Mostly BPD makes you act in extremes which Maya has been shown to experience like explosive anger or impulsivity or even shifting self image or giant mood swing. Those are all things that I’ve seen Maya experience. People who suffer from BPD normally fall in two categories when trying to protect themselves from harm from others: the ones that hold on to their bridges even after relationships become toxic and the ones that burn them before they can get hurt. Now, it’s not hard to see in which of the categories Maya falls into especially since she’s been told again and again by her father that relationships make you weak.

Now, we know why Maya did what she did. It doesn’t excuse it at all because it was still a shitty thing to do, but it’s easier to rationalize it as her trying to protect herself from being hurt by Carina and breaking the relationship before she got in too deep. By the way, Jack also checks a lot of the boxes for BPD as it often develop in early childhood and is linked to trauma. Being abused is one and being abandonned/orphaned as often as Jack did definitely counts as a trauma. Again, still shitty of her to do, but at least the reasoning can be more than just bi people are sex fiends or that they wanted to just add drama to the relationship (even though there’s def an element of that here). I also want to add that people with BPD often have various self-harm trends including a strange relationship with sex. So Jack sleeping with women he shouldn’t very much makes sense in that context and does not make him the asshat the writers seemed to try to make him look like.

Here’s where I have a problem with people interpretation of the episode though: most of you see Carina as a saint for trying to help Maya accept her abuse. It was very noble of her, I’ll give you that, but she went at it in such a horrific way that she did not help but actually made things a 1000% worse. Maya was clearly not ready to face the facts about a man who trained her to see him as a god. I know it’s not easy to see someone you love in a negative light especially after years of thinking differently. I glorified my father as a teenager because I felt I had to defend him from my siblings who were abusing me in response to the abuse he put them through. It didn’t matter if he gave little to not time, was rude and agressive toward me most of the time he did and literally put me in danger a bunch of times including leaving me at a cinema in a busy town alone at night as a tween or even bring me with him to buy his drugs. Medias told me that fathers were supposed to love you and protect you and I was so starved for affection that I modified part of how he acted to fit that narrative. It didn’t help that I was told again and again that “it was his way of showing his love” or that “he couldn’t control it” which was a big flashback for me when her mother confronted her at the spaghetti dinner.

Now, the way Carina went at helping Maya really pissed me off because she was a doctor and should have known better. She didn’t try to help lead Maya in accepting a life shattering fact, she didn’t give her the space she needed, she didn’t refer the matter to someone who was actually trained in handling similar situations. No, instead she tried to force Maya into seeing things her way and forced herself in her space. It clearly wasn’t the goal to do that, but Maya asked her for space time and time again and Carina refused to the point where Maya had to leave their place to get some. You cannot force someone to accept something this hard to accept. It took me years to accept that what I went through was abuse despite knowing he actually hit my mother and brother. Psychological and verbal abuse is a lot harder to accept and detect because there are no bruises, no visible scars. Heck, until recently, it still wasn’t really considered abuse, it was just “being though” on your loved one. 

So yeah, Carina actually pissed me off and I would have lashed out at her too and that comes with years of therapy. In some cases and for some people, forcing them to see the truth might work when all other options have been tried, but Maya wasn’t there. Maya didn’t have weeks, months or even the years she needed to come to terms with a gigantic trauma she went through. Because she was the one that was hit the hardest with it as the one he literally groomed for that. I’m not going to say it was worse than her brother’s or her mother’s cause abuse is abuse, but she was groomed into it and it does make it harder to see and break from it. Carina didn’t even give her that time, instead we saw her insisting and insisting and trying to shove Maya’s face into it. I understand that she related to the situation and that she was just trying to help her, but not everybody processes similar traumas at the same pace or the same way and Maya clearly was not at the same place mentally as she was. I actually felt pain from her doing that and had to skip that part a bit cause I couldn’t believe someone who went through the same thing could do something like that.

To finish cause this rant has gone long enough, I’m not sad they’re broken up. I never cared for Carina from the moment they introduced her on GA and I never really cared for her on this show and after this, I kinda dislike her a bit so if she stays around, it will take me a while to actually like her. I’d honestly prefer that they brought back Jack and Maya cause I actually shipped them and was pissed at how they separated them. Though I agree with the suggestion from some people that Maya should NOT be in any relationship right now cause she is def experiencing a trauma and needs to come to term with it and deal with it before she can even think about it. She also need to get into therapy but that’s the case with pretty much everybody on this show. Or maybe I’m just reading too much in a show and identifying with characters. Welp, that was all of our time so you guys have a good day/night and let’s keep enjoying the show (I’m also down for talking more about this or BPD if some people need it! My ask is always open and when I don’t get hyper protective of characters I’m pretty chill)

[firebirdsdaughter]

…

… Okay. Okay. No. I did that to myself. It wasn’t clearly labelled tag-wise, but the content I could see made it very clear what it was.

I did that to myself.

But the emotions are still here. Fuck.

Okay, note to self: if you see a post that, even if it’s not tagged w/ negativity, seems pretty clearly like it’s going to be negative about your favourite character… DON’T CLICK READ MORE.

WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU EXPECT.

I just.

Horobi’s not a ‘good’ or ‘bad’ dad, he’s a ‘mind controlled by a homicidal satellite’ dad. A third category!

While I do subscribe to the belief that prior to Amatsu telling Naki to set off ‘Operation MaGear,’ Horobi was actually okay as far as actually raising Jin went, neither word applies. Like, other than hostility to humans and maybe being a bit of a workaholic… Og og Jin came across as a pretty well-rounded kid. Of course, they couldn’t stay in their bubble forever, and when the Ark’s goals come into play and shit gets kicked off and outside forces start coming in, the balance is disrupted, and Horobi, still completely under the Ark’s influence resets Jin.

Yeah, we all gonna need therapy when we remember that one.

But the fact is, it’s become pretty clear that the philosophy Horobi was spouting wasn’t really coming from ‘him him’ but from the Ark’s views, which in turn seem to have come from Amatsu. This isn’t ‘Horobi is an awful person who thinks these things’ this is ‘he was literally conditioned/manipulated/hacked to ‘think’ these things.’

Of course Horobi wouldn’t raise Jin to think for himself, he couldn’t. He couldn’t think for himself. In fact, in my opinion, while I think they deserve to care about each other, my hope is that they both grow on becoming more independent from each other. I want them to still be family, and like I said, Horobi is my fave, but they’ve def got issues they need to work through that will likely take some time. The Ark suppressed Horobi’s softer side as a father and tried to use him to mould Jin into a tool for its own use, yes, but, esp as far as she was concerned, Jin was also Horobi’s primary purpose. W/ her original plan, Horobi’s purpose was to raise Jin on her doctrine and then die, getting two birds w/ one stone of keeping him from ever actually developing out of the role she’d set for him by remembering how to care, and also giving Jin a grudge against humans. Jin was Horobi’s purpose for the Ark, and then the reason Jin is his singularity point is that Jin (who I still don’t think was connected to the Ark until ep 6) was also his only variable, esp prior to ep 6 and post return. Bc Horobi loves Jin, but doesn’t understand that bc of the Ark’s power over him, but Jin makes him change and behave and react w/out the Ark’s will. his love for Jin was developing further than the Ark could easily crack down on, and he gets more volatile, so the first chance it gets, it jumps into possessing him to prevent any further issues.

Horobi is not ‘actually’ a ‘bad’ person, he’s literally under mind control. And, esp at this point, Jin knows that. Addressing Jin trying to reconcile it might be interesting, but that would require us to focus on Horobi a bit.

There’s no point to this bc I already blocked the person, bc clearly they would not want to see my posts on this subject anymore than I’d want to see theirs, but the feelings it gave me are still very real and I need to vent before I can sleep.

And literally I realised my grave error seconds after clicking, so I only have two points bc I skipped as best I could, but…

Saying Horobi ‘consulted’ the Ark when he saw Jin in danger? Uh… Where the fuck did you read that? Like, okay, okay. So I do have to concede it doesn’t specifically say that the Ark stepped in, but I really don’t see how anyone got the impression Horobi started that connection. And even if he did… Again, he literally had no clue what free will was, he’s an AI designed to not think for himself and to obey orders????

Second… Blaming him for not dying??? He did die! Humans repaired him! WTF???

I would absolutely never say that all the things Horobi did or said while under the Ark’s control are okay, but this isn’t Banno, this is Souichi. Where Souichi is an AI that was designed to be completely subservient and never think for himself in the first place, under the malicious control of giant satellite designed to control other AI that really, really, really hates everything.

Horobi is not a ‘bad’ dad. We don’t know what kind of father Horobi on his own would have been. Horobi is an AI whose instincts and duty as a parent were manipulated and twisted by an outside, malicious force in a particular place of power where it could completely fuck up his mind for twelve years, and clearly saw him as a puppet. Again, not Banno or Masamune. Souichi. A father who had his identity usurped and weaponised, twisted so that an outside, more powerful entity could manipulate his child. Horobi was the Ark’s tool, Jin was the pawn that she was using him to try and manipulate. The situation they were in wasn’t healthy for either of them.

They both need space. Horobi needs to be disconnected from the Ark and probably needs therapy w/ learning how to work through the conditioning he was put through, bc it’s not going to be simple or easy. He’s going to need to be watched, and probably, honestly, mostly kept to himself w/ controlled visits, or something.

Fuck, all of MBJR is gonna need group therapy. Family therapy. But Horobi esp is going to need, like, serious mental and emotional support. And I do honestly think it would be good for Jin to maybe only interact w/ him under controlled circumstances (esp after how he’s been acting now). Bc I do, honestly, think they both need space and independence, again, from each other. Horobi’s life was always the Ark and Jin, if we remove the Ark from the equation, what’s the chance he’ll end up just switching all that over to Jin, and w/ the way the Ark messed up how he processes and handles situations… That’d be dangerous. And after everything that happened, yeah, Jin needs space from Horobi. Like, he knows that Horobi was being mind controlled, but there’s got to be some painful associations remaining. I mean, one of the reasons I would have loved to see Souichi wake up in Build was to see how they would deal w/ that.

But this rant is already very long.

So I’m gonna leave it here.

Horobi is neither a ‘good’ or ‘bad’ dad. He’s a ‘mind controlled’ dad.

[clintashaotp]

Author’s note/summary: Flashback to 2012 fics. Clintasha! :) it’s a little long, but ya know, it happens. Enjoy!

Just a Game

2935 Words

Friday, 5:43 PM

“Say you yield,” Natasha growls against Clint’s ear, her gun pressed against his ribs. “Yield and I won’t shoot you.”

“Nice try, Nat,” Clint manages, but before Natasha can register what he means she feels something sting and her arm twitches with an electric shock. She jerks away from his hand taser and almost drops her gun.

“Cheater!” Natasha shouts, her normally neat hair in a wild braid. Clint just cackles evilly, but when Natasha raises her gun and turns off the safety, Clint freezes.

“You wouldn’t actually shoot me, Natasha,” Clint says nervously, and Natasha shrugs, walking towards him menacingly.

“I don’t know,” she smiles, “maybe, maybe not.”

“It was just a stupid game, Nat.” Clint frowns, but the fear for his own life is too imminent for him to just ignore the weapon pointed at his face. “Natasha?”

“Was it a game when you painted my room pink?” Natasha is still smiling, but her voice is dripping with poison. “Was it a game when you traded in my guns for water pistols? Oh, and I’m assuming it was all fun and games when you decided to filled my SHIELD office with packing peanuts?”

“Nat, I’m so sorry,” Clint winces, and she just glares.

“Goodbye, Clint.”

She raises the gun and fires without hesitation.

...

Monday, 2:38 PM

“Fury said it’s a team bonding activity?” Tony shrugs, not looking up from the screen. “So, being me, I went above and beyond.”

“With capture the flag?” Natasha scoffs, and Tony shoots her a look.

“Red, you should know by now--I can make anything awesome.”

Clint and Natasha exchange a look, but Banner looks nervous.

“I don’t know if this is a great idea for me, Tony,” he winces. “I think I might...what’s the word? Oh yeah, murder you all?”

“Don’t worry, Bruce,” Tony grins, “you’ll be playing in the Hulkbuster, so there’s no way you’ll hulk out.”

“I don’t think the Hulk listens to those rules.”

“We’ll figure it out.” Tony shrugs, then gestures everyone to crowd around the hologram table. “Alright, capture the flag players, here are your boundries. I’ve managed to turn the entire Avengers Facility and the surrounding areas into an equally divided field of play. JARVIS?”

“Yes, sir?”

“Can you please put the grid boundaries in effect, real time?”

The team turns around to watch a golden light appear, shining from floor to ceiling in a solid laser pointer beam. The line extends outside of the control room and out of sight, where it presumably marks the halfway point across the whole territory.

‘Woah…” Clint gasps, and Natasha just sighs.

“You live in the same building as arguably one of the most advanced mechanics out there, and he makes our house into a laser tag room and it impresses you?” She smirks at him, and Clint shrugs.

“I like the pretty lights, what can I say?”

“Since it’s fun and not a mission, I’m not going to let Cap bore us all by talking two hours to pick times.” Tony smirks at the group and Steve sighs.

“Tony…”

“You don’t need a pros and cons list every time, Rogers,” Tony throws up his hands, on the edge of a rant, but he takes a deep breath. “But that’s not what this is about.”

“Well, I think basing teams off of strengths—” Steve tries, but Tony cuts him off with a long sigh.

“The teams are Natasha, me, and Thor, and then Steve, Clint and the doctor.” Tony says firmly. Natasha and Clint exchange a look, and apparently Tony picks up on it because he grins. “Yeah, I gotta split up the master assassins over here. Sorry, lovebirds, but you gotta break it up for just a while.”

“Fine,” Natasha shrugs nonchalantly, and Clint just nods indifferently. “Not a problem. I’ll still kick all your asses.”

“You know, expect for the people in our team,” Tony grins nervously, and Thor laughs.

“You only put the Widow on your team because you didn’t want her to attack you!” Thor points out, and Natasha raises an eyebrow while the rest of the team chuckles.

“That’s totally not true,” Tony glares, and Natasha just shakes her head.

“When do we start?” She asks.

“Well, I’ve designed each team a different colored uniform. Our team will wear these awesome red uniforms, and you guys get...purple.” Tony grins, apparently thinking that purple was a punishment.

“What’s wrong with purple?” Clint frowns, but before Clint can launch into his defensive rant about purple, Tony hands out the uniforms. They are essentially normal workout clothes in the color of the team, except Steve’s purple workout clothes are embossed with purple Stars and Stripes of various shades.

“Each team member gets a holographic communication device, or an HCD of my creation. You can communicate with your team members and see a holographic image of the playing field and your location on the field at any time. you know, unless I disable it.”

Tony hands out the watches, and Steve groans when Tony hands him a red white and blue wristwatch.

“Tony…” Steve sighs, but Tony just grins, not even bothering to address it.

“All teams may now convene on their sides to discuss. My team stays here, and Clint, your team can take a hike, my man.” Tony smirks. “The flags are literally flags, and it’s near your jail. You have five minutes to hide it, and when JARVIS announces the beginning of game play, you can go.”

“Sounds good,” Clint shrugs, and Banner and Steve follow him past the laser grid and out of sight down the hallway.

...

“Alright team,” Tony grind wickedly. “What are you thinking for strategy?”

“Tasers are always good,” Natasha muses, “Maybe stun guns. Anything to knock them out of commission.”

“Um, it’s a game,” Tony raises an eyebrow at her, but Thor cuts Tony off.

“I agree with Natasha, we need weapons if we are going to best the other team.” The god rumbles, and Tony suddenly feels very small next to the giant god and the deadly assassin.

“Uh, okay.” Tony shrugs. “JARVIS, please make an announcement that non lethal weapons are allowed in gameplay.”

“Non lethal?” Natasha groans. “Boring.”

“It’s a game!” Tony gapes at her, and JARVIS relays his message over the loudspeakers.

“Three minutes till gameplay,” the AI adds and Tony jumps.

“We gotta hide the flag!” He scrambles for the piece of cloth only to see Thor grinding at him in amusement. “Where’s the flag? Where’s Natasha?”

“She chose to hide our flag while you were conversing with your JARVIS.” Thor chuckles, and Tony just groans.

“She’s going to kill me in my sleep one day.”

...

On the other side of the laser grid, Clint and Steve gather as many weapons as they can in a barricade.

“I’m not sure how much help I’ll be,” Banner says nervously, and Steve shrugs.

“Every soldier counts.”

“I’m not a soldier, Steve. I’m literally a murderous monster, so...”

“So you’re even more helpful!” Clint grins from where he’s strapping grenades to his arms.

“Oh god.” Banner sighs. “Alright, what’s our strategy?”

“I’ll crawl up through the vents, and Steve will guard the border. Bruce, you stay close to the flag with a stun gun and shoot without mercy.” Clint says with finality and Steve nods.

“Good plan. But won’t they expect you to come from the vents?”

“I’m counting on it,” Clint nods. “Natasha will try to taser me but if I get her early on and get her out, she won’t bother us for the rest of the game.”

“Smart,” Bruce nods in approval.

“One minus till game play,” JARVIS says over the speakers.

“Bruce, you hide the flag.” Steve instructs, strapping his shield to his back. “Clint, lets move out.”

“Wait, where do I hide it?” Bruce tries, but Steve and Clint have already started jogging towards the borderline and Bruce just sighs. “This is going to be a long game.”

...

“The game will begin in twenty seconds,” says the voice room the ceiling. On both sides of the border, players tense, checking guns and making sure knives are strapped tight. “Ten seconds.” Natasha brushes her hair back from her face and twirls her butterfly knife between her fingers expertly. “Five seconds.” Clint adjusts his quiver and straps his bow tightly against his back. “Four. Three. Two. One. Let the first annual Stark Hunger Games begin!” JARVIS says loudly over the speakers, and everyone but Tony groans.

Without hesitation, Clint scrambles into the vents and begins the crawl as quietly as he can through the metal pipes.

“Thor,” Natasha whispers through her com. “Get to the vent exit in the kitchen. Clint’s going to drop down there. Get him and bring him to jail.”

“Message received,” Thor’s whisper is far from quiet but Natasha elects to ignore it. She listens for a moment and can hear the telling scrape of metal on metal above her to let her know that Clint’s making his way to the kitchen.

“Gotcha,” she grind to herself, then sprints towards the border.

...

Clint drags himself forward on his forearms as he comes up on the first vent exit. Leaning down, he sees Thor sitting on the kitchen counter with a glass of orange juice, and it takes all the self control he has not to snort as the god chugs the glass and burps loudly. Clint shakes his head. Natasha must have figured he’d come through here, but the jokes on her.

He pulls out an electrocution arrow from his quiver as quietly as he can in the cramped space, and pulls his bow off his back. In one swift movement Clint kicks the vent open, notches the arrow and shoots Thor straight in the chest. The electricity sparks and the god falls to the ground, twitching. Clint grins, pulling the grate backup and strapping his bow back on. Silently, he continues his crawl through the vents with a triumphant smile on his face.

...

Steve softens his footsteps nears the border, shield raises. If Clint hasn’t already been ambushed, Steve’s the next best option to getting the flag.

Steve passes through the laser grid silently and surveys the territory. The room appears empty, so Steve walks cautiously towards the door on the far side, walking carefully to avoid creaky floor boards.

“Steve!” Clint’s voice echoes from his watch and Steve curses under his breath, ducking behind one of the couches in the living room.

“What?” Steve hisses, “I literally just crossed the line.”

“Natasha got past me,” Clint whispers. “I think I got Thor, but she’s still in play and she’s close to the border.”

“Yes she is,” a cheery voice says from behind him, and Steve raises his shield just in time to block a gunshot. He curses, rolling behind the couch and assessing his options.

“Language,” Natasha laughs and Steve just groans.

“Tony said only non lethal weapons,” Steve sighs and he hears Natasha chuckle.

“I heard him.” She laughs. “C’mon, Cap. Worst things worst, I tag you and you go to jail.”

“No, worst case scenarios is you shot me!” Steve scoffs indignantly, and he turns his head to see where she is only to come face to face with the assassin, who had snuck up on him while he was looking around for her. Steve freezes, and Natasha grins widely. She reaches out a long manicured fingernail and bops him on the nose.

“You’re out.” She smiles sweetly, and Steve groans. “Have fun in jail, soldier.”

Steve walks towards the hall that leads to the jail as Natasha reaches for her com.

“Tony, we got our first prisoner. Watch Steve, make sure he doesn’t get out.”

Tony answer affirmatively and Natasha disappears behind a doorway and out of sight.

...

Thor wakes up with a headache and an empty bottle of orange juice in his hand.

The memory comes flooding back to him and he groans. The god of thunder, bested by electricity.

He sighs and sits up, fumbling for his hammer. It sits on the counter, and Thor flips it casually in his hand. Time to cross into enemy territory.

Thor slips through the laser barrier quietly, but as soon as he gets into the living room he trips over a table and the lamp in the table falls to the floor and shatters. Thor guiltily tried to put the pieces back on the table, but its shattered. Thor sighs, then adjusts his grip on his hammer and continues through the room. After combing through the living room and the home theatre, Thor walks into the back porch to see the golden flag sparkling on top of the outdoor fire place.

“Found you,” the god laughs triumphantly, and he grabs his watch. “Natasha and Stark, I have found the—”

A powerful fist cuts him off and Thor goes flying into the glass doors, which shatter. Thor looks up to see the Hulk standing in front of him, looking very annoyed.

“Go to jail, tiny human.” Hulk rumbles, and Thor sighs.

“What, you’re not going to apologize?”

At Hulk’s angry growl, Thor backs away slowly.

“Alright, alright. I’ll go to jail.”

“Jail right here.” Hulk points to the laser bars that Thor hadn’t noticed sitting next to the flag.

“Oh, super.” Thor sighs. “We get to spend some quality time together.”

“Don’t be mean.” Hulk pounds his fist into his palm and Thor scrambles into the jail before Hulk decides to express his annoyance.

...

After about twenty minutes of waiting, Steve grows impatient. Tony’s annoying, and science jokes get old after the first few. Steve reaches for his watch to com Clint again, but a loud, resounding crash echoes from the main room of the house, and Tony and Steve both freeze.

“What was that?” Steve asks slowly and Tony frowns.

“Damned if I know,” Tony shrugs, but both his and Steve’s coms go off at the same time.

“Spider lady and hawk man are fighting.” Hulk‘s low, gravelly voice cuts through the silence.

At the same time, Thor’s booming voice overlaps with Hulk’s, “Uh, Tony, I think Clint and Natasha are trying to kill each other.”

“Uh oh,” Tony mutters, then presses a few buttons on his watch and his voice comes through all three cons. “Alright guys, lets pause the gameplay and go break up the fight, huh?”

A chorus of affirmative answers cracked through the com and Steve and Tony sprint down the hall to see Clint and Natasha wrestling on the floor. Clint has Natasha’s head pulled back, a gun against her head, and Natasha’s butterfly knife is pressed against Clint’s windpipe, hard enough to draw beads of blood.

“I tagged you first,” Natasha huffs, struggling to get out of his grasp, but Clint just tightens his bicep around her neck.

“I tagged you first and you know it,” he hisses and Natasha growls at him dangerously.

“Alright, I’m going to intervene,” Tony laughs nervously, and both assassins glare at him, not relaxing their grip on their weapons.

“What?” Natasha snaps and Tony winces, slightly terrified.

“Um, this was just supposed to be a fun game...and I think it got a bit out of hand, so...”

“Back out if you want, Stark,” Clint laughs, “but Tasha and I have some scores to settle.”

“I’ll just check the security cam, okay?” Tony says, slowly grabbing his iPad that he set on the counter. “Alright? Lets look...just...let go of each other.”

Clint reluctantly drops the gun and releases his hold on Natasha, who lifts her knife from his neck and closes it hesitantly.

Tony pulls up the security cam on his iPad and flips through the frames quickly.

“Okay, I found it.” Tony waves them over, and the whole team crowds around the iPad to watch.

Tony flicks through the footage frame by frame to see Natasha’s hand snag the back of Clint’s shoulder a fraction of a second before his hand hit her hair, and Natasha shrieks in triumph.

“This isn’t over.” Clint growls at her, and she smirks.

“Oh please, Clinton, you lost. What are you going to do now?”

“I’m going to get you back if it’s the last thing I do.” Clint says menacingly, and he turns to dramatically exit the room when he rubs face first into the last person he expected to see at the compound.

“And here I was taking team bonding would work out,” Fury sighs, shaking his head, and Clint just sighs.

“You ruined my exit,” Clint huffs under his break and Fury raises his eyebrows.

“Did I now?” Fury scoffs. “You and Romanoff are assigned to paperwork duty for a month thanks to you.”

Natasha groans behind him and scurries out of the room before she can throw her knife at him.

...

The reckoning came for Natasha, however, and even though she found Clint’s variety of pranks extremely annoying, she had to admit he did a pretty good revenge job.

But when she arrived to do her paperwork, and her office was filled with packing peanuts, she decided she had reached her limit. Clint Barton needed to know he had messed with the wrong assassin.

...

Friday, 5:43 PM

The stun gun hits him straight in the chest and Clint falls to the floor, twitching as electrical currents bounce through his muscles. Natasha brushes her hands together with finality.

“I tagged you first,” she nods at his unconscious body.

“Agent Romanoff?” The familiar voice rings behind her, and Natasha doesn’t have to turn around to know who it is.

“Dammit.”

[lifescominguproses]

TJLC Thoughts

Ok so..... I know I’m not a TJLC blog (even though the only reason I come on tumblr nowadays is to look at the tag ha) but I need to vent and process...... because I literally feel like I’m going insane. So bear with me lovelies, (this shit’s gonna be long and probably full of grammatical errors).

I absolutely love Sherlock, have done for awhile, even though I didn’t get into it as soon as it came out. I knew about Johnlock and TJLC way before I started watching, and didn’t really think much of it at the time. Then.... (there’s always a but) it became everything. I was obsessed. I not only loved the show because of its mystery and brilliant writing/plot lines, but also because of the obvious, heart-wrenching, all-consuming love between Sherlock and John.

Of course I saw it. Of course I thought “how can these two brilliant characters not be totally and utterly in love with each other?” I’ll admit, sadly, that I was the only one in my family who saw it that way. Does that make me smarter than them in the context of watching the show? I have absolutely no idea. Because right now, in the lead up to TFP, I’ve never been so nervous, so unsure, and so disappointed.

Because, I’m now 99% convinced that the way we all saw it, was not the way the writers intended it to be seen at all. To us, it was obvious, they (JxS) were *in* love. Does anything else need to be said? Yes, yes it does. Although its a very ‘base - level’ example, I feel like I should point to the picture (randomly found, but felt extremely relevant to my poor obsessed brain).

Maybe this whole time we were looking *too* deep; reading into subtext when there really wasn’t any (although I’ll get to this in a minute, Moftiss you fucks.) This is essentially my first ‘meta’ so I’m just going to go ahead and ramble. Yes Johnlock is about friendship, and yes its even a romance. But in the context of the show, does it really matter which one prevails? Can’t a relationship feel like both without the need for sex? Could John and Sherlock really be ‘soulmates’ and ‘life partners’ that don’t feel the need to “have sex or make out on the couch” every night? Because I feel like that's what Moftiss was trying to tell us all along; that we were being too ‘pedestrian’ (can’t think of another word so eh) when we should have been using ‘higher - level thinking’. (I have a feeling the whole “it is what it is” comes into it here, but im way too tired to go into that ahah).

Now, as much as this is what I believe is truly going on, I absolutely fucking hate it. Of course as Johnlock shippers we want them to be explicit in their love. And for some of us this means said “making out on the couch” scenes need to be shown. But after reading practically everything to do with TJLC, Moftiss and TFP spoilers, I really don’t think that’s ever going to happen. What I think WILL happen, is that we’ll keep seeing exactly what we have been seeing, which to us appears spectacularly obvious yet annoyingly ambiguous at the same time. That is, we’ll keep seeing them pining over each other when they’re apart (even because it’s their own choice *cough* John Watson *cough*), we’ll keep seeing them saving each other from the danger that is their lives, we’ll keep seeing them spiral into depression without the other one around to help, we’ll keep seeing declarations of love masked by words like “mate”, we’ll keep seeing them choose each other again and again. Because that’s just the way it is between them, they know it, the writers know it, and even we know it. We just wanted *it* to be different. We just wanted *it* to be shown in a different, more explicit, way. To the writers it doesn’t even need explaining.

Now onto my brief (hahah yea right) “fuck you moftiss rant.”

WHY THE EVER-LOVING FUCK CAN’T IT BE SHOWN THE WAY WE WANT?! Every single adaption of Sherlock Holmes has the same relationship aesthetic. The “John and Sherlock against the rest of the world” type thing is literally fucking everywhere. It’s even in the fucking video games. I mean, I get it. I get that you guys wanted to keep this part of the story alive, its great, it’s beautiful and it warms our hearts. But it is supposed to be a modern adaption after all. And you know what one of the biggest fucking modern issues is? Yeah you guessed it, LGBTIQ rights. Now, I should probably point out here that I am completely 100% straight. I’m a girl that likes guys and all that shit. But I live in a country where where same-sex marriage isn’t a reality (my hatred for that fact is a whole other point) and where same sex couples get treated differently to those in hetero-sexual relationships (seriously, fuck you Australia).

Now I know it’s highly unlikely that moftiss were to ever intentionally queer bait us, being the type of people I think that they are, but man they didn’t think some things through. I know in the first season/s the constant questioning and subtext over John and Sherlock’s sexuality (”confirmed bachelor”, “will you be needing two bedrooms”, “isn’t really my area,” “I’m not actually gay”..... ffs moftiss really?!) was meant to be both an outlet for humor and a throw-back to TPLOSH. But come on! Like seriously! At some point a repeated joke stops being funny! If they didn’t intend for it to mean anything in the grand scheme of the show, why continue to use it as a plot device? Obviously to some people (like my parents) it was just a joke; a running gag if you will, that wasn’t meant to be read into (I’m not sure whether I pity or envy you lot). Why would moftiss put all this effort into making us question John and Sherlock’s sexuality (ahem Irene fucking Adler) just to disregard it in the end? I seriously don’t even know. Maybe just to show that Sherlock really is human after all? Yeah I got no clue. 

Now, onto TFP.

To me, going along this whole “we’re being too pedestrian” theory, the “love conquers all” thing is actually pretty simple. Love will conquer all, but we’re not talking love in any sort of specific sense here. We’re talking in pretty general terms. I feel like the massive climax to this episode (and apparently the whole show) will be to explain Sherlock. That is, we’ll see his past and his (probably) traumatic childhood where some shit happened with the siblings and Sherlock became an emotionally repressed drug addict because of that. We’ll essentially be seeing the reason as to why Sherlock is the way that he is. Of course love’s going to come into that. My bet is that ‘love’ in whatever sense of the term, will be the thing to save Sherlock and everyone else in the end. He’s finally going to allow himself to love (in whatever way) after being an emotionally repressed idiot for so long. Therefore, I’m betting the iconic “I Love You” is damn important, just not in the way we want it to be.

Now, I don’t know exactly how any of that will make ‘lets make television history’, ‘insane wish-fulfillment’, etc make any sense. I mean sure, Mycroft or Molly or John or even Sherlock could die, Moriarty could come back from the dead, he could even be related to Sherlock and have been playing a ‘long game’ since their childhood (although Moriarty and Sherlock related would actually be really freaking cool in terms of the story). I’ve got these thoughts and more going through my head as to what could possibly be the “plot reason” for all of moftiss’s promotional spiel. It’s going to be different for everyone as to what ‘makes television history’. So lets be honest, moftiss are probs just laying it on too thick ahah.

I mean, I’d love Johnlock to happen in the way that we want it to. I’d die if he said “I love you” to John, I’d probably explode if they kissed. But its just not going to happen that way. Honestly, even if it did, wouldn’t it just take away from every other single aspect of the episode? Wouldn’t the most important part of this episode be the mystery? (aka, Sherlock’s backstory arc etc)? If Johnlock happened in this episode, it would be the only thing every single viewer (shipper or not) would be thinking about. Shippers would be going nuts, non-shippers would just be confused as hell for the rest of the show.

Yes, they could do Johnlock at the end in the “apparently missing 4 minutes” (credits, people) after everything’s resolved, but again it would be the only thing people remember. Is that what moftiss want’s the audience to remember more than anything else? I don’t think that it is.

I know they’re giant freaking liars and we shouldn’t trust absolutely anything that they say, but going on the countless times where they basically shut us all down (they could have done that in a nicer way tbh and I’m frankly pissed off about that), I’m not betting on explicit Johnlock at all. I mean, to them, its already been done.

I could be completely wrong.God, I hope I’m completely wrong. I just don’t want to be disappointed. Because I already feel soul-crushingly disappointed and it sucks. The whole show is doing my head in and I just want some bloody answers. So yeah, this is my way of trying to make sense of everything’s that been stuck in my head for the past few weeks, and it may not make any sense to you guys at all. Just thought I’d put it out there.

By the way if anyone out there has anything to add I’d love to hear, I’d love to discuss..... I Haven’t really actively gotten into the fandom until now but I’ve observed from the outside and I must say, I freaking love you guys, and I live off fanart and fanfiction! :D xoxo

[geek-gem]

Talk About Godzilla King Of The Monsters 2019

Mainly just some stuff I wanted to randomly discuss. Also I will tag this and might wanna see some people's reactions and how they feel man heh. When making the title put the shift a. Including almost put also again...and out twice heh I'm on my phone. Yet this is gonna be a talk about well.....I don't wanna vent or rant man even if those almost sound like the same thing man. But I'm gonna admit this. It bothers me so much that Godzilla King Of The Monsters in 2019 is so far away. Even with films like Pacific Rim Uprising, Rampage, Meg, and Jurassic World 2 being released next year. Legendary's Monsterverse really has me hooked. That just I felt the need I have to create a fan fiction universe in my head or how I imagine it. Mainly such as what movies and what monsters they could use after Godzilla Vs Kong, also me being worried of what are they going to do after that. Really in a funny way lol man I'm thirsty for just news of this film. Getting back into the Godzilla or just being a fan of giant monsters mainly Godzilla. It's in a way painful man. That just....their are things I want but heh I don't know man. Yet I'll just reveal this to. Millie Bobbie Brown think I got her name right. The casting looks good even if I haven't seen all of the actors in movies heh. Yet..... I'm gonna tell you this I've never seen Stranger Things. From what I've heard it's an amazing show just I'm not interested at times. Mainly it's Black Nerd Comedy's review which made me think more about the show heh. Yet the casting of this girl. Okay I have nothing against this actress I've heard she's really despite how young she is. But also I have nothing against child actors heh Chile yet.....I think it's memories of All Monsters Attack/Godzilla's Revenge where mainly it's the worst Godzilla film and I agree with people. Their have been other child actors yet they weren't as major lol man. But I keep thinking just stupid shit. Such as her character and I would rather have Ford played by Aaron Taylor Johnson from the last film return man. Okay this is it maybe stupid shit best friends with Godzilla lol while Godzilla and Ghidorah are littertly trying to murder each other and their all bloody and shit man. In fact okay think that was mainly the point man heh. Yet I didn't mind Ford. Yeah it sucks their wasn't a whole lot of Bryan Cranston yet I didn't mind Aaron Taylor Johnson mainly being the main character. Even if it wasn't Aaron's best performance yet I did like Ford and I would honestly like it if he returned. So almost left in again ha but that was in idea. This fan fiction ideas like how about being certain characters back and have them react to the later situations. Even ideas like new ones but even bringing back certain characters from Kong Skull Island who are older now. Further connecting the Monsterverse more man ha. Yet...sorry if I'm not making sense. But mainly a video I finally got to watch but forgot about man. Just go to the parts where he talks about Godzilla King Of The Monsters 2019 cause it take a long time to get to that part and some.... surprises you might not wanna see man heh. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Hi4RYwAfx7g here's the video was trying to find it man heh. Take my advice go to the part where he starts talking about the 2019 film and I just watched this on my laptop man. Mainly it's good even if I knew some of this news. But it's also nice to see more man heh. Yet this Mille Bobbie Brown gal, and her saying the film is really good I hope I can trust her word on that, and that she might wanna or wants to return in sequels think that's what she said heh man sorry must stop. Also....meh just....I feel like I should watch certain films. But not just Mothra Vs Godzilla, Ghidorah The Three Headed Monster, and Invasion Of Astro Monster, but even see Godzilla 2014 again cause it's been a long ass time since I've seen it man lol chill out. I mean is the film still good as I think it is. I've been watching clips and just...mainly as a whole I wanna see the whole thing just wanna find out where it's at maybe I have it or its some where around the house Well I put the tags and spelt Millie's middle name wrong....heh mate just lol sorry. Meh I think maybe I've seen people spell it too like that man lol just saying. Sorry just....anyone tell me your thoughts. Heard bro's door closed guess he's back from that grizzlies game with my dad, Nana, and step grandpa heh. Mainly I wanted to just talk about this. Wanted to get these off my chest. Also no upcoming projects from me unless I feel like it lol. I need to just sorry feeling weird man