I don’t miss her anymore!!(the girl who used to be a tiktok/twitter addict, never went outside, spent years cooped up in her room, made idiotic decisions)
I love her!!(the girl who’s best friends are tumblr, Pinterest, and nature)
I love her!!(the girl who goes outside and documents her life, while not overly exciting, still managing to live in the moment)
I love her!!(the girl who is slowly finding her peace through stories, nature, and film)
I love her!!(the girl who’s no longer struggling to keep high grades and finding that learning comes easy to her when she doesn’t procrastinate)
I love her!!(the girl who’s no longer afraid to express herself in what she wears, how she carries herself, what she loves doing)
14 notes
·
View notes
Oppenheimer Rambles (Spoilers)
Honestly mixed bag of emotions for this movie which I think is deliberate on Nolan’s part.
I mean, it is shown from perspectives on how people view Oppenheimer and perspective from the titular character himself, which understandably centers around outdated nationalistic view that results in dehumanizing other nationalities that aren’t their own. That even when Oppenheimer himself is part of a community that’s being persecuted, has the awareness of this rampant systematic prejudices and get “intellectually stimulated” by pointing these out he couldn’t help but be a part of said prejudiced system and surrender his own agency in the end.
He became a part of those who reduced their victims to a name of numbers, discussing just the “right amount” of civilians to be killed to assure military surrender, and unable to look at the horrifying consequences in the face because if we do, how can we focus on the man, talk about the humanity of the man except in complete condemnation and pearl-clutching horror in the face of what he is a part of.
So… we don’t.
We heard in booming sounds and suffocating silence. We know in factual numbers and recorded documents. We catch glimpses in blinding lights and horror-struck expressions. But we don’t see.
After all, this is a story about Oppenheimer.
So we watch a boy cloaked in sadness, yearning for the idea of greatness and possessing a barely restrained violence be a great man full of ambition and diverse ideas, who saw through the prejudices and called for progress. We watch him fall in love, be hurt, grieve and make mistakes and love his brother and horses and the vast greatness of space in the middle of nowhere…
While that same great man concluded that he has no choice but to make a massive weapon of destruction for the sake of progress, of victory against evil that is more evil than he is. He has no choice but to compromise, to compartmentalize, because if he looked too deeply— what would he find?
What perfectly mundane or other great and terrible ways that he may not be a part of could stopped the nazis from making their mass destructive weapon?
So there was no other choice. There’s no one else who can spearhead this. Compartmentalize. Destruction in the name of progress. Compartmentalize. He had to do it himself.
It was his moment. He could carry the burden for the greater good.
Oppenheimer didn’t have a choice but to be great.
And his fate is the history that we got.
Strauss was egocentric and someone with a massive complex but jackass got some points in there.
Thus, a march to overwhelming victory ordered by men greater than he is. Because greatness are paved by them and what better way to join them than become them. Sure the man will feel the horror, the guilt, but at least Japan still has Kyoto. They might’ve lost Hiroshima and Nagasaki, but Japan still has beautiful and culturally relevant Kyoto you can take your wife to honeymoon in and other cities spared.
What of the charred bodies of the Japanese? Of the 30,000, 70,000, a 100,000 lives lost. Numbers, numbers climbing higher and higher and be meaningless because what faces do they have?
Still, that’s enough of a message to assure total victory right? Yes.
What of ending the world? It didn’t. It might be changed but continued to remain. It’s fine. It’s on fire but it’s fine.
What of the great man who has decided he had no agency and truly lost it? What of the authentic voice barely there to be heard but be muffled under all the pageantry and great medals of honor on a deadly legacy branded for all of human history because— because
An idealist pursued the idea of greatness and he became it.
What other choice does he have?
11 notes
·
View notes
got an appointment with a gender therapist let's goooooo
on the less fun side, had a less than stellar Trans Moment with my mom, where she seemed confused about me being a boy, who grew up liking girly things, expressed that i was like a different person to her, and that she thought i had outside influence in figuring out i was trans
there was a resolution but i am feeling a bit 🫠
2 notes
·
View notes