#glad to have my stylist working again (fucking Finally. again it’s been like an entire year ahsjdjks)

[merriclo]

been warming up w drawing digitally again (for the first time in like. a whole ass year lmao) and thought i’d draw my baby boy Lorule !! i don’t have favorites but i definitely do

i didn’t think too hard abt this one but i kinda like it and i’ll always take the chance to talk abt Lo lmao

[crusherthedoctor]

1, 7, 12, 18 for Sonic :P

1. the character everyone gets wrong

All of them.

If I had to pick one, then I'll be predictable and go with Eggman. Other characters may come close or even exceed in terms of how often they're turned into something they're not (Sonic and Shadow being the two that immediately come to mind), but for obvious reasons, it's a bit more personally infuriating when it pertains to the good doctor.

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how the fandom acts about them

I try not to let fandom alone sway my thoughts on a character too often, since I prefer to judge a character through… well, the character, and their showing in the actual product(s).

That said, there have been exceptions that are too overwhelming for me to ignore. Usually this relates to characters I already hated in the first place, like Surge, so it's no major loss. But for a more regrettable example… Amy.

Now let me make it clear that "hate" is MUCH too strong a word in this case, since I wouldn't say she's a straight up bad character or wish she'd be removed. I still like the basic concept of her character, and I still appreciate her good portrayals and what she's able to bring to the table.

But for a multitude of reasons - most notably, the one-two fuck you punch of Frontiers and Prime making me realise that the amount of times where I think she's been portrayed legitimately well pale significantly in comparison to how many times they've dropped the ball with her, even compared to other characters - she's unfortunately been losing me all over again. And the fandom's current attitude with her, such as their tendency to defend everything she does when they'd eviscerate her if it were any other character, their tendency to break their own rules in order to give Amy preferential treatment ("Respect the ordinary girl!… but plz let her go Super and be more powerful than Knuckles and Tails combined and one-shot Eggman's strongest robot and beat the entire cast in a fight tee hee"), their tendency to spark #Rally4Sally-style hysteria every single time she's not in something, and rabid Sonamy fans… acting like rabid Sonamy fans, has only amplified this.

Maybe the tide will turn yet again if she gets a string of better, less eyeroll-worthy portrayals in the future. But for now, when taking her overall history into account, I've come to the regretful conclusion that she's arguably the most overrated of the recurring game cast at this point in time, and ultimately the fanatic sides of her fandom are no different to that of Sally's.

There's also Silver. Like with Amy, "hate" is an exaggeration, but it's no secret that I've never found him that interesting, whether in his canon game form or the flanderized penis hour mood that Evan Stanley loves to turn him into. But in the distant past, I had frequent encounters with fans who would lash out at me if I said so much as a single negative thing about him. Needless to say, this did not raise my enthusiasm for the character.

Finally, the Freedom Fighters. On their own, they're probably not the worst conceptually, even if Sonic being a member himself doesn't work and goes against his character. But they are so hyped up the ass and touted as being infinitely superior to the game cast that I can't muster any goodwill for them anymore. This only increased after I was reminded of just how often they made massive dick moves in Archie, and how they rarely got called out on it in any meaningful capacity. So even putting their fandom aside, they're kinda hard for me to like anymore.

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

Obligatory mention of Black Doom for being the Best Shit Villain, compared to Mephiles and all the other ones who are inexplicably popular. Black Doom was the key to all this, so I'm glad they got him working, cause he's a funnier character than we've ever had. He's stylistically designed to be that way. (Jokes aside, how sad is it that even with my unironic goggles on, there have been so many shit villains in this franchise that Doom isn't even in the top ten worst at this point?)

For a more sincere example, we have Marine. Everyone had a hateboner for her at the time, and some people still do (one of them being Flynn apparently), but I never found her annoying. I understood the development they intended for her, and I thought it was handled decently for the most part. I also scratched my head at the flack she received for her Australian accent and lingo, since I never saw anyone complain about Bunnie and Antoine's stereotypical Texan-ness and French-ness respectively… oh, right, they're Freedom Fighters, so they can get away with it. -_-

Then there's Elise, who was just underdeveloped at worst (that and having a realistic human design, but that wasn't exclusive to her), and did not deserve the vitriol that she ended up getting. As far as non-Blaze princesses go, I actually prefer her over Sally at this point, because Elise doesn't have an extended history of being an unreasonable prick to Sonic for bullshit reasons, and never tried to change him either. That Elise was the one in '06 who got labeled as the worst character of all time, when a literal recolor was standing right there, was one of the early indications to me that this fandom might not always have the most agreeable takes.

She's not outright hated like Elise is (was?), but since she has a similar dynamic with Sonic, I'll mention Shahra as well. I used to think she was a bit bland outside of her relationship with Majin Ganondorf, and I expressed that opinion even quite recently. But in the past month or so, in light of how much I've grown to either hate or be disillusioned with certain other characters, I'm beginning to appreciate her non-abusive partner-related traits a lot more now, and her bond with Sonic is admittedly sweet. The Sonic Likes Tall Girls meme we have going on may have also contributed. Secret Rings is still by no means a game I care much for outside of its villain and some level aesthetics, but Shahra is a good character in retrospect IMO.

And I share your appreciation for Infinite and Zor. I approve of the intent with Infinite's character and think it was handled well despite some rushed aspects, and fail to understand why people single him out for being one-note when this franchise is stacked with one-note villains, and Zor's lines are genuinely hilarious and I will die on that hill. The latter's transformation into Unironic Generic Edgy Guy #6 in IDW was devastating for me. :(

18. it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on…

Actually playing the games.

Eggman being a villain.

Eggman being a competent villain.

Rouge being more than who she is at first glance. As in, someone who is deceptively intelligent, more caring than she lets on, and will ultimately do the right thing despite her jewel thievery hijinks. AKA, not a villain.

The Hard-Boiled Heavies. They were rightly beloved come their debut, but ever since Mania came and went (and not counting their appearance in Seasons of Chaos that I'd prefer to forget), it's like fans collectively forgot about them. I'll say it till the cows come home: they had more personality in a game without dialogue than Sage did in a game with it.

Darkspine Sonic. It does have its fans, but it tends to get overshadowed by the lame as fuck Dark Super Sonic from X, and the equally lame as fuck Fleetway Super Sonic. I may not love Darkspine per say, but as far as dark forms go, I can recognize the thought that was put into it, and I appreciate that it allows Sonic to utilize his feelings in a positive way via keeping his rage focused on the guy who deserves it. This is much more in-tune with Sonic's character than a generic evil form would be, and it also avoids the unhealthy and unrealistic implications that anger, sadness, etc is inherently a bad thing that must be dismissed or concealed at all costs.

The Advance trilogy's soundtracks. Yeah, they get their kudos, but still not enough. >:[ I consider these compressed GBA ditties to be among Sonic's best, and find them more memorable and impactful than many a generic orchestral soundtrack you hear in plenty of games nowadays.

In light of Grass Simulator 2022, Sonic having an actual aesthetic of any sort. Other games did this so well, including CD, the Genesis and Advance trilogies, Mania, SA1, Heroes, Colours, Secret Rings, the Riders games, some of SA2, some of ShtH, even 3D Blast of all games. You can have all the technical graphic detail you want, but in the end, a plain grassy field does not fill me with inspired wonder in the same way as environments like Studiopolis, Night Palace, Red Mountain, Quartz Quadrant, or Twinkle Snow.

[btsmutandstuff]

hi! can u please make a smut ab yoongi x reader on airplane sex? or better yet studio sex where a member is present in the room?

.......I like this airplane idea 🥴

It’s dis Yoongi⬇️⬇️⬇️

Oh and ur a flight attendant 👩‍✈️👩‍✈️👩‍✈️

Your eyes go wide and you squeeze your hands tightly behind your back, holding your pose perfectly.

“Welcome, welcome.... Thanks for flying with us,” you mumble as the small group of passengers boards. He’s here again. And he’s about to pass you to enter the small plane.

“H-hi... Welcome aboard.” You immediately feel your cheeks go red at your hesitant greeting. He smirks softly, tugging his mask down a bit for you and looking you up and down.

“Hi again.” And just like that your questions are answered. Yes, he definitely is the guy from last time who flirted with you the whole flight. Yes, it’s the guy who asked you to come sit and talk with him because he gets a little nervous through takeoff. Yes, he remembers you and yes, he definitely did just check you out. For once you’re glad the uniform is cut so close to your body.

You look down and smile, trying to shake it off before you look like an idiot. He huffs a quiet little noise and moves past you, taking a seat in the back and away from the rest of his entourage of managers, stylists, etc. The other passengers settle in, popping in earbuds and headsets and you tell yourself to do your job and get through preflight safety and prep. It’s a private flight which means your responsibilities are a little more relaxed than the typical flight, thankfully.

The takeoff is smooth, and as you make your way down the aisle of the plane, asking here and there if you can get anything for the passengers, you wonder if this has all been in your head. Maybe he wasn’t flirting with you last time. Maybe he was high or a little drunk, or even just nervous. But then here he is, watching you as you approach him as if you’re already naked and in his bed. That look alone makes your stomach do flips.

“Can I bring you anything to make you more comfortable, sir?” You shame yourself for enjoying the way his eyebrows perk up when you call him that.

“You remember my name, don’t you Y/N?” You do, of course.

You slowly nod, feeling your cheeks flush at hearing your name come from his lips.

“Call me Yoongi. And actually I was wondering if I could move to the back? Get a little privacy from everyone up here?” His smirk when he asks so sugary sweet has you reading into things at a dangerous pace. You glance at the curtain divider between the front area of the plane and the back, feeling his eyes on you for every second of it. 

“Y-yes, that won’t be a problem at all, sir. I’ll get it prepared.” You step away, catching your breath as you slip past the curtain and into the empty end of the plane, outfitted with luxe cushioned seating that looks more like couches and reclining chairs than a seat on a flight. You groan at how easily flustered you are by this practical stranger, and grip the back of the nearest seat, leaning over and resting your head in your arms. 

“Um....Y/N?” You shoot up as fast as your heart rate does, and spin around to see him standing behind you, his bag tossed over his shoulder. He’s closer than you anticipated. Hell, you didn’t anticipate him following you back here. How long has he been standing there?? 

“Y-yes, sir?” You can feel your chest rising and falling dramatically, but your heart feels like it might explode at any moment. How mortifying. 

“Again with that... You know, I told you that you can call me Yoongi.” He steps closer still and you feel your back press against the cushioned back of the small couch you had leaned against a moment ago. 

“But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like how “Sir” sounds when it’s coming from your lips.” 

You sigh, your breath coming out shakier than you would have liked. You couldn’t control that, just like you can’t control how that familiar throbbing has returned to your core, making you shift your weight from leg to leg uncomfortably. You don’t mind though. Something about the idea of this man, Yoongi, being in control for you seems nice. 

He chuckles softly, barely more than a breath, and steps close so that his hands can come to rest on either side of your waist, pressing into the cushions beside you, trapping you there between his arms. 

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable..” he begins. His tone is softer and more gentle than the nuance-laden air he had before with you. It’s a sharp contrast to the closeness of his body to yours. But he’s making you anything but uncomfortable. Maybe the good kind of uncomfortable, where you’re just dying to wrap your arms around his shoulders and pull him against you. 

You shake your head, your eyebrows raising as you hope to dissuade him from any feeling that he may be unwanted by you. You just can’t seem to find the words to tell him that. You want to tell him how excited you were when you saw it was him boarding the flight. How you hoped you might sneak whatever moment you could with him, even just to flirt back and return his interest. How you can’t stand still because he’s so close but still so far from where you want him and how you feel insane because you hardly know each other and yet you want to know if his lips taste as good as you’ve imagined they do. 

He drinks in how hot and bothered you seem, your breathing labored and your skin a soft flushed tone. His eyes linger particularly on your lips, parted softly and plump with the blood that’s rushed to your face. He wants to kiss you so badly but he’d never let himself go if he made the first move before hearing you say it’s ok. 

“Y/N? I don’t want to...” He begins, wondering if your silence is a sign and maybe he’s reading into it. He begins to stand up straight again, his hands moving off the cushions and freeing you from the space between his forearms. 

“No!” Your outburst makes him freeze, his eyes going wide. You groan softly, tipping your head down in embarrassment and wondering if you’ve screwed up. Fuck it. 

“No, I.... um, Yoongi..” you say, glancing up at him in time to catch the little smile he gives at how you say his name. 

“I definitely, um, am enjoying myself... I mean I uh, um... I’m happy you’re here again. And that I’m working. I um.. I like seeing you..” This is sounding cringier by the second and you hope he’s gleaning any amount of your arousal by him from your haphazard words. You’ve never been good at expressing what you mean in moments like these. Lucky for you, Yoongi seems to read that just fine. 

He leans back in, his hands instead coming to rest on your waist this time, all the while his eyes watch you closely. 

“I like seeing you, too.” You exhale, relaxing into his touch and wondering if it would be ok to touch him back. His head dips enough to where he can meet your gaze, making sure you watch as his attention turns from your eyes to your lips, the hunger in his expression obvious. He nudges your nose with his gently, tipping your face up a bit before his lips ghost gently against yours. Your breath catches in your throat and it’s all you can do to keep from closing the distance for him, savoring in how slowly he wrecks you. 

He finally presses his lips into yours, guiding yours seamlessly along with his. It’s slow and a deep kiss, languid and passionate. He steals your breath away entirely. His hands glide from your waist up your sides, directing your arms to wrap around his shoulders like you so craved. He pulls you tight against him, warm and inviting as hip lips envelope yours over and over. He pulls back only a little and watches as you lean forward for him, wanting his lips against yours again. He kisses your cheek, just next to your lips, then again on your jaw, then just under your ear. He lingers there, then lets his lips trail feather-light up the crest of your ear, teasing you and drawing you further into the lusty haze that’s quickly filling your brain. You don’t even notice when you moan softly, only recognizing how he pulls you even tighter against his body, and how his voice sounds even lower than it did before, just above a whisper as he says, 

“Do you want me to touch you, Y/N?” Something like a shiver, but more warm, runs up your spine and you nod a little, sighing in his ear as you feel his teeth graze on the sensitive skin of your neck, only making the intense need inside you worse. 

“Ask nicely,” he coos in your ear, ceasing his gentle bites and instead presses chaste kisses along your exposed collar bone, nudging the collar of your crisp white blouse open further. You whine softly, the embarrassment of having to ask for your own pleasure only fueling the delicious ache inside you. 

“Please, Yoongi...” is all you manage, hoping he hears your need for him in your voice. You groan as you feel his leg slip between yours, pushing your to spread your legs for him. He helps tug your skirt up to your hips, his hand lingering to grope and paw at your ass, left bare to his touch by the flimsy thong you wore today. His other hand roams down your body, squeezing and rubbing here and there, leaving no sensitive spot on your body untouched. His lips return to yours, this time parting gently to let his tongue tease against you. You whine at the lightheaded feeling his kiss gives you, absolutely driving you insane with your need. His thigh between yours keeps you from squeezing your legs together for the pressure you so desire. Yoongi only teases you further, feeling how desperate you’re becoming for his touch between your legs. 

“Where does it ache, Y/N? Here?” His fingers just barely graze your mound, teasing over the lace that covers you. The soft contact of his fingertips alone has you rolling your hips forward for more. He groans softly, drinking in your need and eagerly pulling it from you over and over, teasing you so gently until your knees feel weak. He hooks a finger into your panties, pulling them just out of the way. He nudges your cheek with his nose, grazing his lips against your soft skin until your eyes meet his. You look up at him from under your lashes, brow furrowed and your cheeks a dark shade. His middle finger slips through your folds, your wetness coating his digit easily. He makes sure to circle once, twice, and a third time over your clit, watching you closely as you squirm against him. You’re so sensitive at this point you’re clenching your empty core with each pass of his finger, desperate to have something inside you. 

“Fuck, Y/N...” he sighs, his cock pressing against your hip over and over with each motion you make.

“Please... I need it..” is all you can manage, his ring finger joining his middle in the teasing and rolling motion over your clit. His lips press into yours once more, swallowing the moan you can’t contain as his two fingers push slowly inside you. The pleasure of being filled up mixed with the burn of being stretched a little is intoxicating, and you know you need more. He pushes his fingers slowly in and out, leaving them in and curling them forward over and over and over, watching your face for every little reaction to his practiced touch. 

“Yoongi....” you sigh, biting back the moan you really want to let out. “I... I want...” He continues his onslaught, drinking in your pleasure and hissing when your hand tugs on his belt, slipping lower and palming his rigid cock through his jeans. He rolls his hips forward into your touch.

“Just ask.”

[cloudykaii]

Care

pairing: bts x eighth member!reader [platonic]

summary:  omg i just real some of your eight member scenarios and eveerything was so good!! i wasnt into eight member things before but now.. im super in! 😭 can you do a scenario about compilation of the members little caring act on stage, backstage, when theres camera or not, something like that to the eight members?? if you make it then i would be so delighted. than you !!

warnings: none, it’s just really fluff :( some of it might not make sense, but i really love this

A lot of things could be said about your brothers. Each and every one of them had their moments and mistakes, just like you did. Some people would call them rude, or selfish amongst other things, but the one thing they could never say, is that they didn’t care about you. ARMY pointed it out all the time; they even had compilations of moments the eight of you cared for each other, but your favorite were the ones titled things like: “six minutes of proof that bts’ world revolves around y/n.”

Jin jumped as your head fell against his bicep. You were at an afterparty for an awards show the eight of you had been asked to present at. The music wasn’t too loud- you used to joke that it was because everyone knew rich people liked to brag. You had no idea where the rest of your brothers were but you and Jin had been perched on the oddly comfortable sofa as he socialized. He could feel your hairpins digging into his shoulder. 

“Y/N, are you okay?” You didn’t answer and he moved slightly so that he could reach across and tap your arm, but you moved with him. He felt your even breathing and sighed. You still had around two hours left before they could leave. 

One of the girls he had been talking to chuckled as you gave a tiny shiver in your sleep. “She must be tired.”

He smiled at her before slipping off his blazer to cover you with it. “She works hard, sometimes I think she works harder than the rest of us,” he chuckled, pulling you closer so that he could make sure she was comfortable. 

No one knows how a fan account had that video trending on twitter under the hashtag #BabyY/N three days later. 

✦✧✦✧

One bad thing about being the only girl in an idol group, is that sometimes you get the least amount of consideration. Not because they didn’t respect you or anything like that, it’s just that after styling for seven boys, you think sometimes the staff tends to forget you are not a guy, or maybe they had never seen a girl in real life.

Or at least that’s what the short dress you were wearing had you feeling like. It’s not like it wasn’t pretty, a black skirt and connected by a thin, white lacy strip that wrapped around your abdomen. It was gorgeous, and the silky ribbon of a choker around your neck made it look even better, but it was just.. so short. 

You powered through like a trooper, despite the fear in the back of your mind that you were flashing the entire audience while you danced. The minute the song stopped and everyone moved to get a drink of water, Yoongi was taking his jacket off and tying it around your waist. 

Not speaking into the mic, you let him do as he wanted but asked, “Are you even allowed to do that? Won’t the stylist say something about how you ruined her outfit?”

Tightening the knot of material, he rolled his eyes. “Honestly, I don’t give a fuck what the stylist has to say right now. Not only is your outfit not okay, but it’s obviously making you uncomfortable. You can wear this until the next outfit change.”

“Thank you,” you hugged him briefly, glad he had your back. 

✦✧✦✧

There was a time where you guys were recording a live during a long break while at practice. Fans talked about it for ages afterwards. Taehyung sat against one of the mirrors, holding his phone, while Jimin was in the picture beside him. 

“Basically, that’s it. We haven’t really-”

“Y/N, stop running around, you’re going to hurt yourself!” Jimin’s voice cut in, making the other man look over. 

“What is she doing?”

Jimin huffed, “I have no idea, but she’s going to- Y/N, at least t- no actually come here, I’ll do it for you.”

And when you bounced into the view of the camera, only for all the fans to see Jimin pulling your foot to him so he could tie your shoe. “Be careful this time, even if you’re playing tag.”

✦✧✦✧ 

Jeongguk laughed at the camera, the comments being ridiculous. He was doing a live, answering questions about the embarrassing moments he chose to talk about. “No, it was funny! He fell, but then he tried to play it off by doing pushups, but he feel while trying to do that, so-”

He heard the door open in the background, and the camera saw him turn to the side just before he let out an “oomf.” The side profile of your face was visible to the viewers as you moved to curl against him on the bed. You rubbed your eyes sleepily, and he frowned. “It’s really late, you’re supposed to be asleep.”

You mumbled, “I was, but then I got scared and woke up. I didn’t want to be alone.” He pouted at that. You tended to have nightmares whenever you were stressed, and since he was the one who found out about them first, he was usually the person you ran to. 

“Do you wanna sleep in here?” He asked softly. Everyone tuned in could hear everything, but your brother barely remembered that he was even recording as he fussed over you. You nodded, already drifting off on his shoulder. He smiled down at you before turning back to the camera. He read the many comments of everyone cooing over you. “Yeah, she’s alright. I’ll tell her to tell you guys herself tomorrow. Anyways..” 

✦✧✦✧

Of course, there were incidents that were more serious. 

The sun was setting, which made the perfect picture for the shoot you guys were about to do. The rooftop everyone was on was beautiful and stone, the kind of background you saw in movies. The sun seemed to glitter, and the wind made everything sway until the lake’s seemingly glittering waves caught your eye. “Whoa,” you gasped, moving closer to get a look.

“Y/N-”

You waved off Taehyung’s warning. “I’ll be careful! I just want to get a closer look!” You walked back over to the edge, admiring the way the sun sparkled on the water. You subconsciously leaned closer, moving your body a little too far against the thin railing, but before you could topple over, a hand grabbed the back of your jacket with a tight grip, yanking you back until you were a good distance away from the railing. 

Your back hit someone else’s and you recognized Taehyung as you turned to see him. He stared down at you. “I said be careful!” 

“I’m sorry,” you said a little shakily. Taehyung sighed before pulling you back into a hug. “Having a little sister is so hard, you’re not leaving my sight for the rest of the day.”

✦✧✦✧

Another moment fans loved to talk about actually happened at a fansign. You smiled brightly as the next fan came up to you, following the line. “Hello!” you greeted happily. 

Something about this girl threw you off though, and the look in her eyes had you unintentionally leaning away from her. You couldn’t decipher it, but when nothing happened, you told yourself you were just overthinking it. She was probably just excited to meet what could have been her favorite artist group, right? 

You stood by Hoseok as the fansign ended, moving to follow him out of then venue. He chuckled as he looked at you. “You have that look.”

You wrinkled your nose. “What look?” 

“The one that says you’re hungry,” he teased, poking you in the stomach, making you whine. “Well, maybe-”

“Y/N!” You turned around, cutting yourself off mid sentence, to see the fan from earlier. “I found you.” Her smile was a little too bright as she reached for you, only for Hoseok to push you behind him as you stuttered out, “I’m sorry, we really have to go.” 

You moved to attempt to leave after that, but her demeanor quickly changed. Her face changed from too happy and delighted, to dark and angry. Her eyes narrowed, and she reached for you more aggressively this time. “Don’t be son ungrateful,” she squeezed your wrist painfully and you cried out as security finally made their way over. 

Hoseok immediately pulled you to him, looking at the rapidly forming bruise on your wrist. Even though at the moment, it was just a large red mark, his face still tightened. “This never should have happened,” he cursed when he noticed tears in your eyes. 

He pulled you into a hug as he waited for the rest of your brothers to show up. “It won’t happen again,” he promised you. 

✦✧✦✧

The moment that was probably the most talked about, was when a talk show host felt the need to ask you how it felt. Namjoon shared a glance with you. 

“Excuse me?” you asked timidly, straightening up. 

The interviewer turned to you. “Oh, you speak English! I was just asking how it felt to be so similar to a child all the time.” The man’s tone of voice didn’t even change, but the idea that he had expected Namjoon to translate this to you, and now casually asked you as if there was nothing wrong with the question. “You know, they’re always taking care of you, it makes it seem like you can’t do anything by yourself. Does it ever irritate you?”

You tried laughing it off, the chuckle leaving your lips as you ticked a strand of hair behind your ear awkwardly. “Not really. They’re not doing anything to be condescending, and I know that.”

“Do you feel like that is because you need their help?”

“That’s enough,” Namjoon cut in, his jaw clenched as he slid forward a little in his seat as if to help get his point across. “Y/N is perfectly capable of taking care of herself. We pitch in to check on her because we love and care about her, and she does the same for us. She is not a child but a grown woman who we love and care about enough to make sure she’s okay and gets the nice treatment she deserves. With all due respect, if you insult our sister again, we will be forced to cut this short.”

You looked over to him, offering a silent thank you as the interviewer coughed, trying to recover. The bad news was that this interview was live, so he really couldn’t do anything but sit there and realized he had just embarrassed himself. 

Honestly, what else is there to say? You loved and cared about your brothers, and they loved and cherished you. 

[sanstropfremir]

second part of that long ask from ur swf anon :)

after the main dancer was chosen for each class, they would complete the choreo and decide formations for their performances. one of the benefits of the main dancer was that they were always center. they also had the benefit of wearing more embellished clothing to stand out (most noticeable in x class, where rian the main dancer was wearing orange while everyone else was wearing green). here is the full list (mnet truly has the WORST camera angles, so i only included the full cam ver of the performances):

1. assistant class: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aF2evLz98h4&ab_channel=MnetTV

2. leader class: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=srjJzRVVmxc&ab_channel=CHANNIECHANNEL

the judges shared that even though no:ze was the main dancer/in the center/had the most shiny outfit, they didn't really see her. all the other dancers, in their opinion, stood out and overpowered her.

3. sub class: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mY_3E7W8v30&ab_channel=CHANNIECHANNEL

4. x class (i'm not sure what this class was called): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fC-_8fbn_s4&ab_channel=Whatthejess

judges shared that lip j was the stand out of this class. she's the girl on the far left at 0:36. (it was originally her choreo but rian was chosen as the main dancer so that's why she is credited.)

*i only included comments that were stand outs.

-

i'm not sure how much creative input the main dancers were given regarding stage design... they didn't show it in the episode so i'm assuming that mnet just told them to show up and perform (because like, the rainbow thing they shot at the end of the leader's performance seemed so random? it didn't match what they were doing). after each performance, the main dancers from each class were asked to pick someone who they thought was the worst dancer. in doing so, the person chosen would lose points for their crew.

judges also chose an mvp crew they thought were the best. prowdmon (monika + lip j + others [sorry i don't know their names. the show really only focuses on these two]) was selected and this gave them the advantage of choosing which crews went against each other in ep4. so, it wasn't a random lottery draw! in the episode, they only showed the part where prowdmon chose to go against wayb (context: no:ze, the main dancer from the leader class, chose monika as the worst dancer. and this made her mad so she was like we're going against wayb - no:ze's crew). i'm not sure why they didn't show how the other crews were paired up. because ya, coca n butter + hook is definitely an interesting match.

also like, wayb was eliminated from the show after ep4's mission.

-

and it seems like from here on out, there will be a mission each episode to determine who will be eliminated. i'm honestly not too sure. for their next mission, they're doing a mega crew mission and mnet doesn't really explain it; but it seems like each crew is doing a performance on a larger scale (with more members added to their crew). also, like mnet is ass and doesn't upload all the performances onto their channel..... they only upload the ones that were the most popular/had the biggest public reaction which is why i had a hard time finding the clips for the classes mission. hopefully they do from here on out.

another v long post. thank u again for reading and sharing ur thoughts! always love hearing them. (also, pls let me know if i'm oversharing. u mentioned not caring for the competitive nature and drama so i'm not sure if i was adding too much. there really isn't drama imo. mnet tries to do their best to edit and make it seem that way but when u watch the show, the girls truly root for each other and are friends.)

mnet truly has the worst camera angles i hate them so much. also why are they still streaming on a goddamn potato. the quality is SO bad i can barely see anything!! there's a lot of me complaining in this one i'm sorry in advance.

1. assistant class

i have to assume that whoever they chose as the main dancer is the one that stays in centre because i cannot tell from the clothing at all. i don't think she was a standout performer here, but also the camera and the fire effects are WAY too wild to actually get a good grasp on who even was the standout. i also have to assume that the dancers have no say in the design because design is not a big part of street dance and this kind of chaos screams m 'too-much-money-dont-know-how-to-use-it' net. they built this massive set, barely used it, and didn't leave enough room for the proper formation spacing!! ugh. i hope the judges actually got to see a locked off version of this without all that fire in front of the camera because if i were them i would be squinting down the end of my glasses like a grandma at the screen. that's what i was doing anyways but still.

2. leader class

i have to agree, i don't think noze stood out as the main dancer here. and geniunely i cannot tell that they embellished her costume more. like damn, that stylist took a masterclass in subtlety, because i was easily paying more attention to whoever was wearing those massive thigh high cutout garter stockings and woven bodysuit combo. i am assuming that the point of these challenges was probably to be noticed the most so that they can score points and pick who they went up against for the elimination round? i'm not entirely clear but my point remains; ngl i don't really like this method of creating performance because it means that no one is there to create a performance, yanno? troupe/group choreo like this thrives on teamwork to actually make it a good performance. i know it's a pretty classic method of weeding out people for auditions and stuff like that but personally i find it a wholly uncompelling viewing experience, especially when it's a fully produced stage like this. i know everyone very likely gets along behind the scenes but the incohesion of intent is very obvious. also what's up with the assistant class getting a massive set and the leaders getting a bunch of cars and some smoke pyrotechnics? i mean, i am glad they filmed it during the day, but i am confused by the disparity.

3. sub class

i wish i could describe how poorly mnet shot this. it's not a fucking mama stage, it's a dance stage!! we need to see the choreo properly!!!! and together!!! obviously i don't care about stitching together different takes for the final edit but just...not having a continuity at all in the choreo is a bit jarring. again, i am also not sure how one is supposed to evaluate how well these dancers did, because i can barely see what people are doing. or who the main dancers are. i know i'm railing a lot on mnet here but i can't give an accurate reading of the dancers because legitimately it is so hard to tell what's going on. if they want to bill this as a legitimate dance show, why are they shooting it like a kpop performance? the camerawork for kpop serves a specific function: to add to the visual spectacle and to highlight the idols' faces. you don't need either of those things for shoot choreography, so why do we keep getting closeups of dancers' faces? not that these dance videos aren't spectacle-y or fun, because they very much are, but they really suck at their one primary function, which is displaying the choreo.

4. x class

this is definitely the one where the camera work is the closest to what it should be, but then they go and fuck it up by adding rain! just the groundwater would have been fine, but noooo they had to add the extra rain so there would be extra water drops on the lens!! this is my favourite choreo of all four of these, i think there's the most cohesion and (excluding the rain) it's got a good mix of spectacle with the water and the blacklight and the right camera angles to show the choreo mostly well. i still don't understand why they cut in those sections that don't fit with the rest of the flow though. why. you could have one-taked this and it would have looked dope as fuck. i agree that lip j stands out the most, obviously it's her choreo so it's the best suited to her character and abilities.

---

if it wasn't a random lottery draw they should at least have the courtesy of showing people why who picked who!! that's the most interesting part! and i'm not that surprised about wayb being eliminated, prowdmon really stomped them into the ground with that revenge energy. i'm interested in this larger scale performances concept, because i'm not really sure what that looks like in this particular context. if they do end up on youtube i will review them! and you're not oversharing at all, the context is fine! i don't mind reading it as information, i just don't like actually watching it with my own eyes. i can't watch that kind of thing in reality tv because it makes me want to sit everyone down like a kindergarden teacher and go "ok, now why are we all yelling?". too many years of tense rehearsal conflict negotiation and i just want to whack everyone upside the head. it's not very cathartic for me lmao. i have no doubt that everyone is friends because dance scenes are small and i'm sure they've all worked together lots, but even just the editing sets off my fight or fight reflexes.

[kerwritesthings]

Walking Hand in Hand

Summary: It’s been a long time coming, but when the moment is right you cannot help but say yes

Word Count: 2,120

Warnings: a whole lot of fluff and feels

Author Notes: This story, this part kind of was always a thing for me. I knew that I wanted to get them here. It niggled at me when I was writing the first part, I just needed to get them there the right way. I did entirely too much research on the fashion of this and yes, they’re legit items I found. #thedevilsinthedetails

This was another one of those sit down and words just came type pieces. Another 2k in about two hours. It’s crazy. I love this little ‘verse of mine so much. It’s brought my muse back from her mini hibernation that hit prior to the holidays. I want to work on my own original piece, but she wants to play with Shawn. So, I’m not going to tell her no. First part, second part, third part all linked up here.

There was an underlying purpose to this trip, aside from getting to spend time outside the bitter cold during the dead of winter in the sunshine of the west coast. It was the start of the season, and this was a big one, so finally you were going to be a part of the hoopla with him.

You weren’t a secret – it never, ever was that from moment one with the two of you. You just made a conscious decision, that he completely supported you on, to not be in the spotlight like that. You would be there, for everything and anything he ever asked you to be present for, but there was never the need to be the draped accessory or be out wildly in front of the cameras on a red carpet. You also wanted it to remain about him, the music, his hard work. Not who he was sleeping with. He respected you, respected that decision. It also gave you a sense of security when you were first together, with your own non-industry professional goals and blossoming career, that you weren’t ‘that girl’ with Shawn Mendes.  

But now, with how important this last album was, the scope of all the nominations, and with what you two were settling into, where it was all heading with your relationship, you made the decision. And this time, it was an easy one: it was a yes. His eyes went wide when you told him, his lips half quirked in smile before tackle hugging you.

Fast forward to the day before the awards, and you’re sitting cross-legged in just one of his sweaters and a pair of boy shorts on the floor of a lofty studio in West Hollywood.

“Do you need help back there?” you call, fighting back a laugh. “It’s a suit and you’re a boy, it should not take you that long to get ready.”

He sticks his head out from behind the shoji, shoulders still bare and blows a raspberry at you. You stick your tongue out at him in retaliation.

“Unless you’re planning on using it, I wouldn’t do that,” he says with a shit-eating grin.

“Enough with you, get that suit on already,” a voice calls out from the opposite side of the room.

“Now you’re getting me in trouble,” he exaggeratedly pouts and flicks back behind the screen. “I’ll remember this.”

You can’t help but roll your eyes at him as the owner of that stern voice plops down on the floor next to you, patting your knee.

“I’m so glad we get to play together on this,” Tiff starts. “I know he’s trying to play it all cool but let me tell you he’s been buzzing a special way about this one. Had to be way more hands on to what he was wearing. Couldn’t clash with what you were thinking. He kept telling me he had to look good for you and had to be the good arm candy for you tomorrow night.”

You can’t help but flush. This man of yours.

“Don’t worry,” she continues. “He knows nothing. I just made sure you two would look good together for photos. He kept trying to press on a color, any type of details. I told him it’s a dress.”

You both giggle. The stylist kindly offered her help, the two of you back and forth over emails and late-night texts what you wanted, what you didn’t, colors, whose style did you like. There was one designer that was a total pipe dream, you thought there was no way, but luckily one email and a lovely conference call later, dream became reality. You had one fitting while he was still away on the last show swing, a whirlwind day in the brightly lit townhouse you had only seen on Instagram. The rest would be handled here in LA with the team and with Tiff.

“You know it was more because you’ve been making your own name outside of his, yeah?” she explains. “Being with this pain in the ass was just the added bonus. Plus, first carpet look? That’s a getter.”

“Ladies, I’m right here you know,” he calls out. “Hey Tiff, can you help…”

She scurries to her feet and heads behind to him, “Wait wait, please don’t fuck anything up!”

“Am I seeing this today or waiting until tomorrow?” you ask, stretching your legs and wiggling your toes. A mani/pedi was on tap for later, prepping your feet for the destruction of the strappy heels awaiting you.

“Am I seeing yours today?” he replies in turn.

“Not the same. Other than less bed head, and probably more bling, you’re gonna look the same tomorrow. Me, I need all the glam help I can get. Pineapple hair and a couture gown do not go together, my darling,” you say.

He sticks a hand out from the shoji, flipping you off.

“Remind me why I agreed to do this?” you sigh, flopping back on the floor.

“Cause you love me. Or at least I think you do,” he quips.

You hear him murmuring to Tiff. He’s probably trying to get any final details out of her while making sure he’s got his look on lock.

Next thing you know, Tiff is back and pulling you up off the floor towards the other side of the studio, “Your turn!”

The gasp you let go when you see the final dress, it’s perfect. You can’t wait.

You stay downtown that night, easier to get ready and even easier to get to the carpet. It’s quiet, just the two of you. Room service and a fluffy bed.

“Thank you,” he whispers into your temple you both settle into down into the duvet, his one arm coming around to hold you tighter to him, feeling his breath tickle your face. “I know I probably have said it before, but I want to say it again. Thank you, and I love you. More than I can even explain. I’m so fucking happy you’re here and that I get to have you tomorrow for this.”

“Need to be able to kiss my man when he wins his first Grammy,” you say softly before pressing your lips against his jaw. “It’s me and you versus the world, right? So, we may as well let the world really know that, yeah?”

He kisses you, slow and soft and deep, like it’s the only thing he’s ever wanted to do.

“Only and always me and you versus the world, baby,” he murmurs against your lips.

Your suite is a buzz the next day, you are whisked away to the bedroom while Shawn is exiled to the sitting room for you both to start getting ready.

“Love you,” you mouth before the door shuts.

After a few hours of primping, curling, shuffling, squeezing, a few happy tears and a whole lot of singing along to your boyfriend’s album, which causes him to call through the door a few times making fun of you, you’re finally ready.

Tiff sneaks back into your room to help with the finishing touches on your dress.

“He’s trying not to pace, but he’s antsy as anything. God help us on your wedding day,” she exhales, sliding the last eye hook closed on your dress.

You turn to look at her, jaw dropping slightly.

“Shit, shit I’m sorry. But like girl come on, you know that’s where this is headed. He’s talked about it too you know. You’re endgame,” she says, squeezing your elbow. “This dress is perfection. He’s not going to know what hit him. Lemme go make sure he’s not wearing out the carpet.”

You take a deep breath, count to ten and put your hand on the door handle.

“You ready out there?” you call out.

“For like the last hour, baby,” he replies. “Come out, come out wherever you are!”

Sliding out from behind the door, your eyes lock. You always knew he was beautiful, unfairly gorgeous, but tonight is something else. He’s in black, head to toe minus the hint of the deeper shimmering grey in his shirt and the silvery shine glimmering from around his neck. The jacket though is something else, a subtle black on black snakeskin pattern with a shawl collar. His hair, the perfect riotous mess of loops and swirls of his curls.

“So, this is how my rockstar cleans up for the big night? You’re so handsome, Shawn. This is such a look,” you say as you make your way to him, hands lightly sliding up then down the front of his jacket, before tangling your fingers with his. He’s just looking at you, blinking, not saying anything, his thumbs a soothing rhythm over the tops of your hands. Then he takes a step back, still leaving your hands tangled.

“I am the luckiest. You look, like you’re always pretty and gorgeous and lovely. You know I think that. But you’re just, you’re this. God, I don’t even think I can figure out the right words,” he babbles, holding you at arm’s length to take you in. “This dress, you. You’re a fucking vision. It’s so perfectly you.”

“Cause it’s a custom Siriano,” you hear Tiff chime in. It’s everything you ever wished for in a dress. You knew your first time out on a carpet, the last thing you wanted was splashes of color or massive attention, but you still wanted to look good next to Shawn. Black and gunmetal grey interwoven, with the scalloped beading on the skirt and a swath of black chiffon to soften the top. Not too form fitting, not too much cleavage but enough to make you look feminine, feel sexy. Enough to be worthy of the man standing in front of you.

His eyes widen and you nod bashfully.

“Tiff’s work, all her help. I was happy with whatever and off a rack at that, but she asked for a wish list. She went right for the top,” you explain. “I still can’t believe it.”

“We’re sending him a case of champagne tomorrow,” he says to Tiff. “Now, can just I have a moment with my girl before the world takes us?”

Everyone scurries around the room and Shawn pulls you into the bedroom, door shutting with a click.

“I’m glad you don’t have sticky lipstick on yet to fuck up,” he mutters before slinging his arm around your waist and pulls you in for a bruising kiss.

“I guess you hate it, then?” you laugh, kissing him briefly and softly again.

“Ok, one more then we need to stop or we’re going to have some problems. Well, no I’ll have some problems. Plus, the girls will want to powder the two of us to death before we go and gloss you out most likely. Which we should get moving anyway. Sooner we’re there, less hoopla to navigate around on the carpet,” he says, opening the door to pull you both back out into the main room.

He’s right. There’s more powder, some tugging and straightening, more scent sprayed about and a swipe of lipstick for you before you are shuffling downstairs to the waiting car. Staying close to the venue, the ride isn’t long despite the lineup of cars ahead of you. Your nerves start to kick in a little, worrying at the seam of your bag with your index finger.

“Breathe for me baby,” he says, snagging your hand to intertwine with his. “Promise you, it won’t be that bad. First one is always a bit of a shock to the system, but it’s nothing more than a fancy little walk is all. ‘Cept this time, I get to be hand in hand with my favorite person.”

You look over, his smile easing some of the tension sitting in your chest.

“Shawn, what if…” you begin.

“Nope, there’s none of that. Not ever and especially not tonight. Not when you and I look like a fucking power couple,” he drops a kiss to your knuckles. “This is just a fancier date night, just happens to be a couple hundred more people on it with us is all.”

You can’t help the laugh that bubbles up, “I love you.”

“Love you too, baby. As much as I love this dress, I really cannot wait to take you out of it later,” he says, dusting a light kiss to your neck just below your ear just as the car pulls to a stop and you hear a knock against the car window. “You ready? I’m going to be right there. You and me.”

You lean in to rub your nose against his gently just before the door opens, “Always you and me.”

TAG LIST: @loveat2am​, @sinplisticshawn​, @hollandraul​, @whenidance​

[nightbts]

the other side | min yoongi

pairing: min yoongi + stylist!reader 

word count: 3.6k

genre: angst + fluff 

warnings: a bit of cursing is all 

he didn’t like you one bit, that was clear. but for some reason that wasn’t enough for you to not give up on him. 

Sitting in the corner of the room, your eyes fleeted nervously between all the members as a tense atmosphere enveloped the room. All that could be heard were the tight, nervous breaths from all of them, one in particular that caught your attention: yoongi. 

Seconds later, he stood up and roughly shoved the chair he was sitting on, causing some of the boys to get up themselves, before Yoongi, muttering some colorful language under his breath, walked straight out of the room without a glance.

“This is all my fault,” Namjoon started with a sigh to which the boys all chorused in response, saying it was their faults instead, erupting one after the other. 

As they all started arguing with themselves over who’s fault it truly was, and as to why Yoongi was that pissed, you slowly slipped out the door unnoticed. You started making your way to the one place you knew he’d be in: his studio.    

For the first time ever, you saw his door slightly open, making you surprised as that was never usually the case. The number of times you saw the boys standing outside, trying to guess his keypad code to get in was let’s just say, countless. 

Knocking lightly, you opened the door a bit to see Yoongi sitting on the couch, hands clasped together as his eyes stared hard at the floor but as you walked in, you saw him lift his head up, his gaze meeting yours instantly. 

“Yoongi, is everyth—”

“Why are you here?” he asked lowly. His cold eyes stared at you as his voice sent shivers down your spine, making you let out a nervous laugh, “I just wanted to check on you to see if you were okay—” 

“You?” Yoongi laughed humorlessly, as he stood up from the couch, a glint in his eyes that made you subconsciously inch towards the corner of the room. 

“Why would you, huh?” He repeated as he advanced towards you, his body standing just inches away within seconds as you felt his gaze concentrated on your face, your cheeks flaring up, he continued with a taunting look in his eyes, “It’s like no matter how many times I tell you, you don’t get it. I don’t like you y/n, so get the hell away from me.” 

Biting down on your bottom lip, your squeezed your eyes shut, your own fists clenched at the sides as his words registered in your mind. However, this wasn't the first time you heard him say that. 

“Hello! My name is y/n l/n, and I’ll be joining the stylist team as an intern!” you beamed, a wide smile on your face as you felt a flutter of excitement within you as the seven boys stood in front of you. 

As each one of them slowly introduced themselves, all with kind smiles, when you got to the last one you found yourself immediately taken aback as he lazily shook your hand before muttering under his breath, “Great, another inexperienced person is exactly what we need.” 

Looking up at you, his gaze fell on your bewildered expression, your eyes wide and lips slightly parted as you blinked at him before he rolled his eyes and walked away. 

“Ah, don’t mind him. He’s always like that. You’ll just have to warm up to him, that’s all.” a soft voice said behind you. Turning around, you gaze met Jimin’s as he gave you a reassuring smile. 

“Welcome to the team, we’re glad to have you here,” he said, giving you a soft pat on the shoulder, as you gave him a soft thanks in return. 

It’s been 10 months. 

Let’s just say Yoongi was taking quite a while with the whole “warming up to you” slowly with you. 

But quite frankly, you were over it. 

You were done playing the weak, little girl who merely nodded to whatever insults were thrown at your way from the man in front of you. 

You were done with his facade, knowing very well that the way he acted towards you wasn’t how he truly felt. You just knew that behind the cold stares, the clipped conversations, and the patronizing comments, there was another Yoongi down there that cared. 

“Why?” you asked quietly. Looking back up to meet his gaze, this time holding your ground, you pressed again but this time louder, “Why? Why do you not like me?” 

Evidently taken aback, Yoongi blinked before composing himself, his signature look of annoyance embracing his face as he scoffed at you, “Are you serious?”

“Yea, I actually am,” you stated, this time stepping towards him with a defiant look on your face. 

“You always say you hate me, you don’t like me, you wish I wasn't here, but why? You never say why you know that? Is it maybe because you don’t actually have a reason—” you started, your voice rising in volume as the words spilled out of your mouth uncontrollably.

“You bother me, that’s why,” he said, interrupting your rant mid-way as you stood there, lips parted until a few seconds passed by until you scoffed in response. 

“Well clearly, since you like to make a point of it always.” 

Lowering his head, he let out a humorless chuckle as he shook his head. Peering up back to look at you, he simply stared, his dark brown eyes boring into yours for so long that it sent shivers down your spine. 

“W-What—” you started uncomfortably, as you felt yourself writher under his lazy gaze that held you captive. 

After what seemed like hours, he finally spoke up, his voice low and soft all at once, “Forget it. It doesn’t matter. ” 

Blinking, his words seeped into your brain, letter by letter, word by word, but even then nothing made sense to you. You couldn’t believe him. Not only did he hate you, make a frequent point of it, but he didn’t have a reason either?! Just why? Just why were you still so hung up on him...

Biting the inside of your cheek, you pressed your lips together, as you nodded before saying stiffly, “Well, I’m glad to know that even my feelings now don’t matter.”

With that, you stepped out of the room, vowing that was the last time you’d ever try to reason with Min Yoongi. 

You had finally given up. 

//

Days went by one after the other, with you routinely ignoring Yoongi and him ignoring you. But this was nothing out of the ordinary for either of you. 

However, today was a special day. It was your birthday. 

You had kept it to yourself, after all, you were just an intern, and the boys, their managers, and other stylists had much more to worry about than an intern’s birthday.

And like any other day, you came to work and started getting the boys ready for their long day of schedules. You were lounging around in the dressing room, you and only a couple other stylists in the room, as you waited for the boys to appear. 

To your amazing luck, the first one to walk in was Yoongi, his eyes glued to his phone as he mindlessly sat in the chair that you were standing by. Scoffing to yourself softly, you moved towards the front of the mirror and started to get all your supplies ready when you a voice behind you go, “Oh. It’s you.” 

Rolling your eyes, you turned back to look at him with a pointed look as you responded bitterly, “If you want someone else, I’m sure you can go ahead and sit over there.” 

Raising a brow at you, he smirked before shaking his head, “No, I think it’s alright.” 

Muttering how it wasn’t alright to yourself under your breath, you continued to gather the things you needed before getting started on his hair. You first brushed it, his recently dyed black locks smooth and fluffy in your fingers that you almost wanted to run your hands through them over and over again, until you realized just who this was. 

As you turned on the straightener, waiting for it to heat up, you sprayed some heat protectant in his hair, completely focused at your task on hand that you failed to see the way Yoongi was glancing at you from above his phone.

Although his gaze would snap down to the dimly-lit screen whenever you made eye contact with him, as soon as you’d look away his eyes would be on you again, a look behind them that he’d rather die than have you see. 

In all honesty, he didn’t know why he acted that way with you. There was just something about you, something that made him always on his toes. Your every move and every word, he followed, yet when he talked to you, his dumbass self couldn’t express it anything but irritation. 

Did he like you? Well, Yoongi just didn’t know. He did know when he’d see you laugh with the other members, there’d be an ugly, burning jealousy that’d rise in the pit of his stomach that he’d say something just to drive you away from them. He did know, his favorite color on you was red; the first day when you wore a red dress to one of their press events you’d managed to take his breath away that he couldn’t speak a single coherent sentence that entire evening. The image of your hair tied back in a ponytail, that dark red dress hugging your body in all the right places and as your glasses had been traded for a pair of contacts, he could finally see you and your beautiful eyes that made his heart race. 

Yoongi didn’t know. His ass-like behavior towards you was a safety for him. He thought about the various futures of how it’d be if he weren’t that way towards you. What if he was nice? What if he liked you? What if you dated? And finally...

What if you left him? 

Shaking the thoughts that enveloped him, a low chuckle emanating from the bottom of his chest, he turned his attention back to his phone when suddenly—

“Fuck!” Yoongi yelped as he felt a shooting pain behind his ear, a burning sensation filling the area as he pulled away from you. Turning around in his chair, his eyes blazed with anger as he exploded without a second to think, “y/n what the fuck was that?!”

And there it was, the side of him that Yoongi hated. 

Silence filling the room, you went still as you stared at him with wide eyes, your hands shaking slightly, the straightener in your hand on the verge of falling from your faltering grip. 

“Yoongi, I’m sorry—”

“Cut the fucking bullshit y/n—” he snapped, cutting through your apology as you felt your throat run dry. Your eyes started to water because as much as Yoongi had yelled at you before, snapping at your every action, this was different. 

The look in his eyes was different; It was mean, demeaning and colder than ice, and you wanted nothing more than to disappear.

You could feel the stares of the other stylists in the room, their soft whispers not reaching your ear but regardless, you had a sense of what they were saying which didn’t help the situation. 

“Yoongi—” you exasperated, eyes fluttering to a close as your voice trembled, “I-I really didn’t mean to, I—”

“Didn’t mean to.” he repeated with a scoff, shaking his head, “How long have you been working here? It’s almost been a year and you didn’t mean to. Have you learned nothing? Why can’t you do even the smallest thing right!?” 

“Hyung...” you heard a voice trail behind when you realized half of the boys had entered the room, all of them staring at the both of you with looks of concern gracing their faces. 

“Please—”

“Literally, what have you done except ruin things since you got here? Should I list them? All the mistakes you’ve made since day one—”

“Yoongi, please just stop—”

“You brought the wrong set of clothes for Taehyung and our manager had to drive all the way back to get the right one.”

“I—”

You couldn’t even get a basic hairstyle right even months in—”

“STOP!” you screamed, every ounce of you shaking. 

You had it. You couldn’t anymore. 

The tears streamed down your cheeks as your hands shook at your side, your fingers curling up into fists. You hiccuped, lashes thick with tears, “Why?! What the hell did I do to you?! Why do you hate me that much, huh? What did I do?,” you emphasized each question with sobs, as Yoongi and everyone else just watched you fall apart. 

As another silence filled the room, Yoongi stared at you with parted lips, a look of surprise splayed across his features until he had realized just what he had done, every tear that rolled down your flushed cheeks like a knife to his heart. 

“I’m done.” you rasped in a small voice, shaking your head, “I can’t do this anymore.”

Grabbing your things from the ground, you hastily wiped away the tears and made your way towards the door, wanting to get away as fast as could, while  Yoongi stared at your retreating back when—! 

“Oh! y/n! Happy Birthday!—hey, is everything alright?!” Yoongi heard Jimin say, his head whipping up as Jimin walked into the room, the tension around him causing him to look around in confusion. 

Feeling his mouth go dry, Yoongi felt his heart drop at that moment, the words birthday running through his head as he saw you give Jimin a tight smile before hurriedly walking past him, and through the front door. 

“Fuck. Fuck,” Yoongi breathed, eyes fluttering close, as he ran his hands through his hair in frustration, pulling at the ends. What had he done?

“Hyung. Go.” a voice spoke from his side, eyes opening to see Jungkook looking at him pointedly as he nodded towards the door. 

“He’s right,” Jin added, a disapproving look on his face as he continued, “You damn well know you have to fix this.” 

Nodding, Yoongi grabbed his phone from his chair before sprinting out the door, eyes darting around as he looked around for you. Walking into each room, he apologized for the several interruptions he had caused as he barged through each door. 

Checking nearly every room possible, Yoongi felt his breath get heavy as he ran his hands through his hair, still warm from you using a straightener on it. Internally cursing himself, he let himself fall against the window, eyes fluttering to a close as he groaned loudly. 

why was he like this?

There was nothing he could do now, he didn’t even know where you had gone or if you would ever be back and the thought of not seeing you again made him want to punch every wall, shatter every window and break every object in his sight. However, just as he turned around, a glimpse of something hopeful caught his eye as he immediately looked out the window. 

He saw it. As you rounded a corner, one that leads to the parking deck, he saw your curly hair, disappearing in a fraction of a second. But, he saw it.

And that’s all he needed.

Rushing down the endless flights of stairs, knowing the elevator would take too much time, Yoongi stumbled countless times before he flew out the backdoor, leading straight to the parking garage. 

Running towards the staff parking lot, his eyes quickly fell upon your figure; however not running, not rushing, but just standing next to your car, one hand on the door handle but unmoving. 

Your shoulders were shaking, as a small sob escaped your mouth, head hung low as the tears splattered and stained the concrete ground beneath you.

“Wait...” a breathless voice said behind you, laced with desperation as your grip on your door handle tightened. You angrily pulled it open, stuffing your items into the passenger seat of your car when he came up from behind you and shut the door close. 

“What the fuck do you want Yoongi?” you seethed, your tone taking Yoongi off-guard. 

“I-” 

Turning around angrily, your fists tightened at your sides as you let out a shaky breath. Staring up right at him, your eyes gazed into his very own which at a time before would send butterflies straight to your stomach but today only caused a burning inferno in your gut. 

“I said I quit.” You emphasized, “Did you not get the message the first time? Now if you’re here to yell at me some more, I’m afraid you’ll have to find someone new for that.”

With that, you turned back again when you suddenly felt a cold hand grasp your wrist, “I—...Don’t....” 

Scoffing, your eyes fell upon Yoongi. His head hung low, hair dripping with sweat and chest rising and falling as the seconds passed by. 

“Why?” 

Yoongi’s head snapped back up, as his gaze caught you by surprise—glazed over, as the corners were brimming with tears. 

“I fucked up.” he whispered, shaking his head before repeating himself,“I fucked up.” 

Staring at him, your own eyes went round with surprise. You started to feel the wall you built slowly crumble, your heart softening at the sight of his broken self but before he could do any further damage you snapped out of it. 

“I have no idea what the hell you’re talking about but you sure did fuck up Yoongi,” you snapped, and before you knew it, words flew out of your mouth one after the other, “Since day one, I knew you didn’t like me but I chose to put that aside. I was nice to you, I cared for you, I was always fucking there for you but what did I get? The exact opposite. So no, you don’t get to come back and do this because the damage has been done!” you gasped, tears brimming at the corner of your eyes as you felt your chest heaving for breath. 

Pulling down the sleeve of your sweater, you lifted your hand to hastily wipe the tears away when you suddenly felt a hand grab your wrist. Looking up, your eyes glistened under the dim, garage lights when you felt him push your hand away to your side. 

Slowly, Yoongi’s cold hands cupped your cheeks, his fingers fluttering against your wet cheeks as his fingers brushed away the tears. You stood there, body still, heart erratic as you felt time start to slow down. You couldn’t comprehend what was happening and as Yoongi leaned in and rested his forehead against yours, you felt the air around you get heavy, your throat constricted. 

“Yoongi—” you rasped incredulously, as your hands flew out his chest, ready to push him away when his next words made you go still. 

“I’m sorry.” 

The way his voice cracked, his breath hot against your skin, lips dangerously close to your very own, you felt the wall fall around you instantly, every brick, every stone shattered into pieces when you looked into his eyes and saw pure, genuine sadness and apology laced within them. 

“There’s just...something wrong with me y/n a-and I don’t know why, but with you, I just can’t-,” Yoongi said softly, “It's like every single emotion I have towards you, everything I actually want to say turns into something malicious because I'm a fucking coward. I’m such a fucking coward.”

“Hey there...” you sighed, as the feeling of anger in you was quickly replaced with sympathy. A trait about you, no matter what, you couldn’t change; you were always so quick to forgive. 

“All that you said right now? I don’t think that makes you a coward Yoongi,” you replied softly, in hopes of reassuring him. 

This made him let out a humorless chuckle, his head shaking when he replied, “I appreciate that y/n, but trust me there’s a lot about me that makes me a piece of shit, a cowardly, horrible person that has been knowingly hurting you all these months—” 

“Yoongi!” you interrupted sternly, catching the boy in front of you off guard, his eyes rounding at you. 

“Even though you might have done some things that were not your proudest moments, this can be the beginning. It will take some time for me to forgive you, but I think this is a start for both of us,” you said softly, this time your hands enveloping his into your own, the very touch of his skin against yours sending sparks up your hands. 

Feeling your fingers intertwine with his own, each one molding perfectly within his grasp, his lips tilted upward into a slight smile before he nodded, “A new start. I would like that very much.” 

Despite what happened, despite the last few months of pain you underwent, you always believed in the better side of people. What you saw of Yoongi in his happiest moments, while creating music, celebrating with the boys and the rare smile you’d see him give you once in a while, you knew there was a side to Yoongi that would make up for everything that happened before. 

Taking in a slow, deep breath, you pulled yourself away from him as you put a foot of distance between the two of you. 

Putting your hand out in front of you, you plastered a smile on your face as you said,  “Hi, My name is Y/N and I’m going to be working as one of your stylists.” 

Grinning now, Yoongi shook his head softly before he grabbed your hand with his own, shaking it gently before replying back, “I’m Yoongi, and I’m extremely excited to have you here.” 

--- 

[chaeryybomb]

JUNE COMEBACKS REVIEW

BLACKPINK: HOW YOU LIKE THAT

ngl I’m kinda sad bc a lot of y’all don’t like the song ;-; but I can’t do anything about it since it’s your opinion so

but I hope that people know the difference between hating and giving criticism saying the song sucks and that it’s trash music is straight up music

I can get why people are disappointed with the song since everyone wanted almost the same thing, “jennie getting a rap part”, “jisoo saying blackpink in your area” and a high note from rosé

personally I really like the song, to me it’s not the same as dddd and ktl tbh I think it’s different

plus I kinda expected it to be like that bc their songs usually follow that yg style ya know the only songs I say that don’t follow that stereotypical yg style is “love scenario”, “stay” and AKMU’s songs

i mean if you compare the song with other yg artists song, they all have the same vibe to it because of the “yg style” we always say

the song also gives me nct and skz vibes too, like specifically “punch” and “side effects” bc of the heavy edm and also bc their songs has been called noise before dhshd

but enough of that

I really like how the song starts calmly in the beginning and then it starts to be more aggressive

also I like the fact that each of the girls get a chance to say “how you like that”

lisa’s rap????? y e s

personally I feel like this time it had more of a fairer distribution, including lines and center parts

like jisoo actually gets some center parts in the dance break and chorus

i also really like the outfits this era, especially the modernized hanboks! though I have mix feelings about the pink wig dhshdh

speaking of hair, jennie!! she fucking dyed her hair!!!

and rosé is no longer blonde dhsjdj

the parts I found weird is when rosé says “look up in the sky it’s a bird it’s a plane” i have no idea how that fits in the song so

and the “dumdudurum” part at the end, it sounds out of place, like especially after it the song ends

i also think that this is their best choreography! right next to don’t know what to do

overall, I really like the song, if you don’t it’s fine! hylt has the most aesthetic mv’s I’ve seen and the outfits are so much better and it has been said that BLACKPINK’s old stylist left the company in January no not maeng

lisa’s fur coat outfit reminds me of yeji’s outfit in wannabe

would I say that hylt is their best song? no, I think playing with fire was their best song but it’s not a terrible song either

another I like is jisoo owning this era, say what you want, hylt is Jisoo’s era period.

STRAY KIDS: GOD’S MENU

what even is a concept anymore

we all thought it was going to be some street racer concept

buT NO

it’s a kung fu panda concept dhshdh

felix!!! my baby has lines !!!!

his demonic voice is bACK

hyunjin’s blond hair 😭😭

what the fUCK

the way he tied it up in a ponytail, like sir that is diSRESPECTFUL he really is jaebum’s son huh

okay okay on to the song

it honestly shocked me so much, like the rap parts were so aggressive like and the vocals are kinda angelic???

i really really like the pre-chorus, seungmin’s voice is just so !!!!! i also like seungmin+i.n’s little duet after felix’s part

spEAKING OF FELIX’S PART

“looking like a chef I’m a five star Michelin” bro that part is lowkey demonic looking in the dance

like mans pulled his knees up and put his hands through them while looking directly at you

does that not look demonic to you??? my friend said it reminded her of a spider dhshdhr

also the “dududu” part instantly reminded me of bp’s dddd dhshd like can someone edit a part of bp going “oh wait till I do when I hit you with that” and cuts to skz “DUDUDU”

the fact that no one has done it yet astounishes me

also what the fuck is that chain thing on Chan’s face, who put it there and why dhshd

bless whoever gave changbin dual contacts lens

AND WHO GAVE JEONGIN SLEEVELESS SHIRTS WHO ALLOWED THAT DHSHD

at first I found the choreography a bit funny bc they added like cooking gestures to it dhshd, like stirring the pot in the chorus but my favorite part of the dance is changbin’s part

the entire album was a bop okay, the fact that “god’s menu” wasn’t even the title track and they decided to change it, the fact that jyp has so much TRUST in bang chan also we get to see chan and sana being best friends uwu

“pacemaker” is literally “my pace” 2020 ver dhshd it even has the “nananana” part!

my favorites from the album is “TA”, “blueprint” and “haven”!!

also “easy”,,,, chan what did u do that it can’t be performed in shows

TWICE: MORE & MORE

wow girl groups are really being criticized this month huh

if y’all don’t know what happened with twice, a lot of people are criticizing twice for not singing live during their encore stages

a lot of them are especially going after momo

I’ve watched their encore stages and I don’t know why people are saying they sound bad???? maybe they need a better vocal coach but the fact that people are taking advantages of the situation just to hate on them smh

a n y w a y s

the song definitely gives a whole lot of “dtna” vibes bc of the tropical concept, its like “dtna” but the mature version

if “dance the night away” had an older sister, it would be “more & more”

also I really like the eve & adam concept, “more & more” is also another “creepy”ish song that is hidden behind a catchy tune, like “yes or yes” where ppl think it’s a cute song but the lyrics says otherwise

okay actually writing this out, it’s mv has “dtna” vibe but the song is so much like “yes or yes”

if you read the lyrics, the girls are basically saying that “no matter how hard you try to hide, you’re going to be mine again”

even in dahyun’s rap she says “I’m naturally selfish, I’m sorry if you didn’t know” and “you will fall for me, you can’t say no no”

it’s almost the same as her part in “yes or yes” where she says “there is no letters n and o” dhshdh sorry this becam a whole theory

back the real song review, I’m so glad that momo got a dance break! I think that this is their fairest line distribution yet. jeongyeon got her lines, dubchaeng got their rap parts and momo has a lot of center parts!!

and the girls look so much happier during their promotions especially tzuyu! she was smiling so much, maybe it’s because mina is with them and I’m so happy they get to perform as nine again

i really like their choreography and the part where they do the chest bounce is really satisfying idk why dhsdh

plus jeongyeon got better outfits this era cough feel special era cough

overall, I really like this comeback and it’s nice that nayeon got the high notes this time instead of jihyo

IZ*ONE: SECRET STORY OF THE SWAN

oh boy this is definitely my favorite song of this month

it’s so much different than their other songs!!!

and there’s so much to go on about!

wonyoung, minju, sakura and hyewon literally improved so much. im so proud of them !!!

hyewon, nako and sakua getting to sing the chorus??? y e s

chaeyena rap parts????? y e s

chaeyeon getting a dance break AND a high note???? Y E S

my favorite parts is eunbi+chaewon pre chorus wow I have a thing for pre choruses don’t I dhsh

i will say that this song vies the girls the chance to show how much they’ve improved throughout the eras, especially the j-line and visual line since a lot of people said they didn’t belong in izone

wonyoung and yujin's expressions are really on point as well

and yena's hip move dhshdhs

it's also rlly cute how eunbi throws confetti at her part dhshd

it’s refreshing to see how the girls improved

unfortunately, izone will be disbanding this year ;-; this is why I never liked the produce series

but we do have some ideas what will happen to the members though, we all know yena will be added into everglow, i having a feeling that eunbi and chaeyeon will be debuting as a soloist, they have so much potential plus the radiate chungha energy

nako, hitomi and sakura would most likely return to Japan, although I see sakura staying in korea to pursue an acting career and hitomi as a producer since she wrote some of izone’s songs

yuri might debut as a solo or debut in a new girl group as main vocalists, the same goes for chaewon

i see minju and hyewon going into acting careers and CF contracts, the same as kang mina, especially since minju is now an mc for music core

whereas for wonyoung and yujin, their both still young so I think they’ll finish school before re-debuting in groups plus yujin will be attending sopa

especially wonyoung, we all know that she’s actually really smart and is good at academics, i also think she might do modeling work, she fits the criteria

i also kinda see yujin pursuing an acting career because she will be in the theatre and film department in sopa. unless starship is going to debut a new girl group, I hope that yujin can debut as a soloist instead

WEKI MEKI: OOPSY

*inhales*

LUCY AND LUA FINALLY GETTING THE LINES THEY D E S E R V E D

I’m so happy dhshdhhs

also lua fits the short hairstyle so much, I’ve literally fallen for her help I can’t get up

as much as I love yoojung, it’s nice to see lucy rapping

the song is very catchy, I especially like rina’s part in the second verse of the song

i also love the “wolf & hunter” concept for the album

like the pictures were very beautiful, I also like how they use white for the wolves and black for the hunters, it’s like painting the hunters at the bad guys and the wolves as the good guys

I am in love with Lucy, Lua and Sei’s “nonono” part in the chorus

and the choreography for the chorus too

as much as I love elly’s blue hair, she slays in black hair dhshd I

I really love their outftis this era, i like how it’s all pants for the girls too

my favorite outfits are the black outfits from the gif

overall, this is definitely their fairest line distribution cough tika taka and dazzle dazzle cough

NATURE: GIRLS

this is my second favorite song of the month

I love the whole horror concept and I also like the fact that they released the uncensored version of the mv

it’s give the song much more of the horror vibe

I’m new to Nature and as far as I know, a member is stuck in China and another member sat out due to an injury. please correct me if I’m wrong

the outfits might be simple, but it fits so right with the song, I prefer the white dresses over the black ones

it kinda gives out the feeling that the girls are like asylum patients ya know, whereas the black dresses gives out that the girls are rich daughters that were sent away

I really like LU and Haru’s parts

the dance is also kinda a simple but it looks great!

overall, I hope that Nature will do this concept again, actually I hope to see more groups do this kind of concepts more

WAYV: TURN BACK TIME

did this comeback scare me? yes yes it did

bro the teasers were so scARY

yangyang was literally laughing like a mANIAC

MANS WAS IN AN ASYLUM OKAY

their teasers gave me so much suicide squad vibes

also, why the fuck were 4/7 members not wearing shiRTS

sm do you have a shirt shortage??? I’m sure nctzens are more than happy to donate some shirts to you

okay anyways, I’ve always liked wayv’s sci-fi concept, I don’t know if the mv’s are connected or not but I think they are

“take off” is them basically flying away from earth and they landed in space in “moonwalk” and it seems they have been captured in “turn back time”

very inch resting dhshd

listen, I may be chinese but I can’t understand 70% of the song because of how fast it goES

so with that saying, yANGYANG DID NOT COME TO PLAY

his rap was amazing !!!! he is definitely one of sm’s best rappers along with taeyong and mark

my favorite part is lucas and hendery’s rap parts and then it switches to xiaojun and yangyang + kun, ten and xiaojun getting highnotes

the dance break is so satisfying to watch too

“stop, rewind, turn back time” and “5432” part is so satisfying

also I’m really impressed with how fast LabelV responded when fans pointed out that some of the outfits had offensive phrases in them, they took the time to edit it out of the teasers and the mv, cheers to them

also! i find it funny that wayv released the Korean version of “turn back time” but all of us were much more shocked at the fact that Ten got another cat dhshd

SEVENTEEN: LEFT & RIGHT

first of all, dokyeom looks so gOOD IN THE MV

second of all, vernon and wonwoo’s “hana dul set” will forever be iconic

third, seungcheol is back 😭😭

just like twice, they get to perform as 13 again dhsjdsn

AND THEY LOOK SO HAPPY DURING THIS ERA TOO

LIKE HAVE YOU SEEN WONWOO?? HE’S SUCH A SMILEY BABY with his orange mic dhshd

also if y’all don’t have tiktok, svt has been doing the “left & right” with so many other idols including chungha and apink’s naeun!

haha joshua hong and wen junhui being real disrespectful with those sleeveless shirts

bonus point we got svt x nct china line + mark and joshua interaction at music bank

their choreography looks so fun too dhshd

the entire comeback is so cute and colorful

my favorite parts are vernon and seungcheol’s rap parts

also vernon be rocking that greaser style

their new album is so versatile, like, “fearless”, “left & right”, “kidult” and “my my”?? who’s doing it like seventeen

i love their new songs so much especially “kidult”

overall, I really really love this comeback

WJSN: BUTTERFLY

I couldn’t find a group scene gif pls forgive me

let me say, I am absolutely in love with the concept, the outfit concept for this is so creative, I don’t know if any other groups have done it before but !!

their outfits evovle like a butterfly!!

at first, the outfits were plain pastel colours but they slowly become more detailed and colourful throughout the stages, like a caterpillar to a butterfly!

center yeoreum!!!

and dayoung looks so pretty in short hair 🥺

and again, as far as I know, the Chinese members are in China, two of them are apart of the Chinese group Rocket Girl and I think Chengxiao recently returned to Korea

I really like their ending pose where their hands are in the butterfly gesture and the “wings” are slowly flapping

and how their arms represent their wings during the chorus

by far one of the moor creative comebacks in my opinion

also, it’s nice to hear soobin doing the high note instead of yeonjung, let yeonjung rest her voice once in a while ya know

SUNMI: PPORAPPIPAM

THE QUEEN IS BACKKK

also wonder girls reunion uwu

the teaser gave me so much "barbie: island princess" vibes so the entire mv was not what I expected

at all

the mv literally describes sunmi a lot, she basically does whatever the fuck she wants like when she posted that pic of jyp on instagram dhshdhs

it’s so funny especially the scene where sunmi is wearing the teletubbies head

and at the end when she wakes up and goes back to sleep is just a mood lmao

something about the song really gives me a lot of “siren” vibes but happier???

i really like the way she pronounces “pporappipam” it took me one week to finally pronounced it dhshd

idk why but I really like the instrumental, especially the intro, it’s very melancholic

also she wears converse while performing the song bc she has to step on the dancers at one part !!

speaking of that part, it’s so cool!!! the way she climbs up the dancers like stairs and then she just trust-falls into their arms

[onewfantaesy]

Monsters in the Dark (Part 3)

(tw: ed)

It’s once he’s on his own that things get really bad. Not just going solo, but all the others are doing their military service at the same time. He’s completely alone. It allows Taemin to be swallowed up entirely by his own thoughts, allows him to fast for days on end without anyone really being able to notice. Sure, managers get concerned, stylists mention the bags under his eyes, backup dancers have to put a hand on his arm to steady him when he stumbles, but they don’t really say anything. Not like the others would. Taemin takes advantage of it, even if he hates it with every ounce of his being.

He misses them, and it hurts so much, so he drowns the hurt with hunger pains instead.

But after the first few months of what feels like complete solitude, he can’t keep up with the fasting. It’s been so long - so long - since he started all of this, and he’s lost track of time, and he can’t remember when anything started or how or why. But the fasting, he just can’t do it.

He starts binging worse than he ever has before. Weeks on end of stuffing his face with anything he gets his hands on, anything to fill the void in his chest. He gains so much weight so quickly that he’s terrified to step on the scale, but he has to, he has to weigh himself every single morning compulsively.

More binging leads to more purging. It becomes a daily occurrence, sometimes multiple times a day, and his throat burns so bad but he can’t stop.

Then SuperM becomes a thing. He’s suddenly thrust into this group with members he isn’t used to, with members who aren’t used to him, who haven’t grown accustomed to his fucked up eating patterns. With SHINee, his eating had become so fucked up so gradually that no one really noticed; it was like growing taller, you don’t notice when a child grows up when you live with them. But these new members? They send him funny looks when he picks at a salad, when he drinks five cups of black coffee in less than two hours, when he pulls out an emergency cookie from his dance bag and shoves it in his mouth to stop himself from passing out mid-rehearsal.

And Taemin wasn’t used to them, either. He’s grown accustomed to SHINee’s particular brand of bickering, it no longer gave him the stomach-churning reactions it used to. But these six new members? Especially the younger ones? God, they bickered about anything and everything. It wasn’t always serious, it was sometimes very lighthearted, but the way their voices rose so quickly, the way they talked over each other and made things clatter all over the room, it made Taemin’s anxiety spike higher than usual, sending him bolting to bathroom to gag over a public toilet.

He hates nothing more than falling in a public bathroom, bent over a toilet that who knows how many gross fucks took a shit in with their asses sweaty from dance practice sitting on the rim. It made the nausea so much worse. Made his puking so much more violent.

“Are you okay?” Baekhyun asks, and he’s taken over the role of leader rather well, if Taemin is being honest.

“Fine,” he chokes back.

“Do you want a water?” Baekhyun asks. “You should lay down on the couch when you’re finished. Take a rest.”

“Thank you,” Taemin says inbetween spitting out whatever’s left in his mouth. “Sorry.”

Baekhyun holds him upright as they walk back to the practice room, and he lowers Taemin very gently onto the couch in the corner. Jongin sits with him then, running a hand through Taemin’s hair to try and soothe the headache Taemin lied about having. The younger ones are quiet then, speaking softly to each other after shyly asking Taemin if he was alright.

“Just tired,” he says, his eyes closed.

“You should stay at my place tonight,” Jongin says softly.

“That’s alright.”

“Please,” Jongin says, his voice close to pleading. “Just humor me. I worry about you.”

Taemin stays at Jongin’s that night, the two of them curled on the bed with Taemin’s back pressed against Jongin’s chest. It’s comforting. Taemin is glad he went, glad he let Jongin hold him even if he was afraid of him feeling the way Taemin’s hipbones didn’t poke out the same anymore.

But he doesn’t have to live with this new group. Doesn’t have to around them constantly. It’s a freedom Taemin wishes he had cherished more when he realizes just what sharing a dorm in Los Angeles means.

He needs his own room. He desperately needs to get a single room, to not share with anyone, to have his own bathroom, otherwise they’ll find out, they’ll know, they’ll all know. It makes his heart race and he almost falls over and his hands are shaking when he picks a number to pick a room.

He thanks God and all his lucky stars that he managed to snag the room he wanted. Thanks his seniority and the fact that they essentially gave in and let him have it. Falls on the bed while clutching his chest because his heart hurts, it hurts so bad, he’d been so freaked out about having to share a room or a bathroom and having to work so much harder to hide the purging.

He wants the pain in his chest to stop, so he pinches his legs hard, punches them, squeezes them until bruises start spreading across his skin. He punches his thigh so hard it makes him gasp and fall over and hide his face in a pillow. Fuck. Fuck, that had actually hurt more than he meant to hurt it. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

The others don’t seem to notice the way he drags his right leg when he does finally leave his room. Well, Jongin notices, and he whispers in Taemin’s ear to ask what happened, and Taemin just snorts.

“Hit it on the corner of the bed,” he mumbles, trying to look embarrassed.

Jongin laughs and hugs Taemin close to him on the couch.

“Does anyone want pizza?” Mark asks, having already downloaded Postmates and looked at all the available options.

Everyone else loudly agrees, asks for specific toppings, asks for chicken wings and breadsticks, and the idea of that much bread at one time almost gives Taemin a panic attack.

“No thanks,” Taemin eventually says, and everyone looks at him like he’s grown a second head. “I’m not really hungry.”

“You hardly ate anything on the plane,” Jongin says softly, and everyone else has gone back to talking with each other. “Are you not feeling well?”

“Traveling just makes me queasy,” Taemin laughs it off. “My tummy’s upset, that’s all.”

And he leans heavily against Jongin and closes his eyes and nuzzles his face in Jongin’s neck. Jongin pouts and hugs him and joins in on the conversation while Taemin stays quietly nestled against him.

Taemin ends up eating a piece of cheese pizza and a cinnamon breadstick and it feels like a huge lump in his stomach, he hates it.

He feels his breathing quicken and then he feels the way the saliva pools in his mouth and he has to rush to his bathroom so he doesn’t end up puking on the floor.

“Taemin?”

He hates that Jongin is coming over to him, sitting on the bathroom floor with him, rubbing his back and whispering soothing words to him. He hates that puking always makes his eyes burn with tears, hates that when he pulls his head away from the toilet that Jongin wipes the tears away with his thumbs.

“You worried the kiddies,” Jongin teases, helping Taemin up and flushing the toilet for him, then guiding him to the sink to brush his teeth. “You should take a shower and go to bed. Do you want me to stay with you?”

Don’t let him stay, the voice says.

“Please,” Taemin croaks. “Please stay.”

Traitor, the voice calls him.

Jongin stays with him, makes sure he doesn’t fall over in the shower and crack his head open, and gets him into bed.

“I’m just gonna go change,” Jongin says softly. “I’ll be right back, if you still want me to stay.”

“Don’t leave,” Taemin begs, gripping Jongin’s hand. “Please stay.”

“What’s wrong?” Jongin asks, his voice barely above a whisper as he sits back down on the bed.

“Traveling,” Taemin lies again. “Just makes me sick. And - and-”

He wants to tell Jongin. He wants to tell someone, anyone, that he can’t eat anything without puking, that he hates the way he looks, that he hates food but he loves food but he hates eating but he loves eating and it’s so confusing and he can’t handle it anymore.

“I’m lonely,” he says instead.

“I’m sorry,” Jongin whispers, laying down and hugging Taemin. “I’ll stay here. Can I shower in here?”

“Yeah,” Taemin whispers. “Can wear my other pajamas.”

They’re all too big for him anyway. They’ll no doubt fit Jongin.

He makes Jongin stay with him a few more minutes before he lets him go shower. Then Jongin stays with him until he falls asleep, falls into dreams about bread getting stuck in his throat as he pukes it back up and choking him until he dies. When he wakes up, Jongin isn’t in the bed anymore, but he can hear him whispering just outside the door.

He’s telling Baekhyun that Taemin got sick, that he was lonely and wanted Jongin to stay in his room that night. Baekhyun says they can talk about it in the morning, when Taemin is awake and hopefully feeling better.

Taemin doesn’t want to talk about it. He doesn’t want to deal with it. He doesn’t want help. He wants to just ignore it all, to pretend that nothing is wrong.

“Traveling,” he continues with the lie the next morning, “just makes me a little queasy sometimes. Especially when it’s international.”

They all seem to believe him. Taemin is thankful, and he pours himself a third cup of black coffee and ignores the way the younger members look concerned and whisper about too much caffeine.

[davidmann95]

Comics this week (10/28/2020)?

Dark Nights: Death Metal: Rise of the New God: Not at all what was advertised, but that’s a good thing - that throwdown belongs in the main book. This instead sets up an interesting little oddball concept that acts here as a simple pseudo-DC-history-recap device and commentary on the larger storytelling going on in this event, but could go on to play a larger role. Not a ton of meat on the bone here, but I liked it.

Legion of Superheroes #10: There’s a big reveal panel here that channels the kind of Superman-related joy I’ve scarcely felt since All-Star, and in general this issue sets up a ton of interesting new avenues.

Action Comics #1026: Nothing to write home about, but there’s a neat format trick here - I thought it quite literally didn’t work due to some kind of miscommunication along the road to production, but flipping back through it was in fact pulled off successfully.

Wonder Woman #765: This ‘running gag’ and Wonder Woman’s borderline-indifference is incredibly uncomfortable at this point.

Justice League Dark #27: Okay I have *no* idea where the hell this is going from here, but I’m all about it.

Suicide Squad #10: I’m gonna need to see how this twist plays out in the last issue (beyond ‘Taylor wanted to use that character again’), but I’ll admit I look forward to rereading this as a whole after the next issue closes it out.

Batman: Three Jokers #3: I’ll go more in-depth later since several have asked about my overall thoughts on the series now that it’s done. For now, I’ll simply say that post-Doomsday Clock I’ve been convinced that beneath a patina of hackishness Geoff Johns and what he’s trying to say are sincerely pernicious. But guys...what...what if he really is just genuinely a dumb fucking idiot?

Anonymous said: I know you probably dropped that digital only “Superman Man of Tomorrow” book, I haven’t been following it too, but I just read #18 for some reason and I’m so glad I did! It’s entirely set inside what I believe is the coolest Fortress ever (with some great nods to the All-Star Fort Superman), and it’s a really solid adventure one-shot, I really recommend you read it, and if you do, please share your thoughts!

Anonymous said: Needed to pass this along but the latest issue of Superman: Man of Tomorrow by Brandon Thomas feels like something you would love even though it’s a one and done. It’s not Keatinge-tier but it perfectly captures that feel for the Fortress you talk about wanting and has Morse code eyeblinking between Superman and a flying shark.

Superman: Man of Tomorrow #18: I checked this out based on the recs above, and yeah, this one was a hoot! A consistently fun and clever Superman caper, far more than worth the $1.

The Immortal Hulk #39: HELL YEAH, by which I mean JESUS NO. Immortal Hulk is on that roll we love to fear again, baby.

X of Swords: Stasis: I don’t have the slightest clue what’s going on anymore.

Shang-Chi #2: Fun! I’d drop it if it were an ongoing, but this definitely has me onboard for the rest of the mini.

Fantastic Four: Antithesis #3: Not all I’d want from Adams’ crack at the team or probably Waid’s final Marvel project for the time being (if not ever?), but a decent time.

Giga #1: I just don’t seem to vibe with Paknadel the way a lot of folks seem to, and I couldn’t much follow what was happening here anyway.

The Department of Truth #2: Yes, it does indeed keep up the pace after that gangbusters opening. It’s also however a product of rotten timing: a character is introduced here who is if not deliberately Warren Ellis-esque definitely fits that mold, who is major enough that he was surely conceived of prior to the book’s announcement in June 2020, the same month as...well.

Blue In Green: An Image Comics horror OGN covering the days immediately following the funeral of a struggling musician’s mother by Ram V, Anand RK, John Pearson, Aditya Bidikar, Tom Muller, and Ryan Brewer. I want to talk about it as little as possible plotwise beyond that it deals with legacy, art, and sacrifice, but the stylistic vibe here feels like a massive evolution of Morrison and McKean’s Arkham Asylum, meshed with incredible poetic diction and a musty air of nostalgic regret. This is easily one of the most gripping and impressive projects to come out of the medium in 2020, and deserves any and all sales and accolades it manages.

Slaughterhouse-Five: This OGN actually came out several weeks ago, but I only just got around to reading Ryan North and Albert Monteys’ adaptation of the classic, and while my college memories of the source material are too vague to comment on this as an adaptation, this is a towering work in its own right and can’t be recommended highly enough.

[softbiker]

Born to Run - Chapter 4

Warnings: some language, descriptions of injuries

Word Count: 2.5k

A/N: this chapter features a proposition, some explanations, and an intro to a new character :) the response to this series has been overwhelming! I did not expect it to get very popular lol. As always, let me know what you think!

Steve flicked the cigarette he was holding and returned it to his lips. Its glowing tip lit his face from underneath as he took a slow drag, then exhaled through his nose, letting the smoke float around his face.

“She did a damn good job, way better than Barton.”

“Under pressure, too.”

“Does she have anybody here? Family or friends?”

Sam and Steve turned to Bucky, who had his arms crossed while he listened to their exchange.

“No one,” he shook his head. “She’s alone in that house.”

“That’s good,” Steve nodded. “Less of a risk.”

“So…” Sam looked between the two of them. “We all agree?” Steve raised his eyebrows at Bucky.

“No,” Bucky frowned. “But I know I can’t stop you.”

***********************************************************************

A week after the carnival, Y/N finally understood a bit more about her situation. After applying careful pressure to Charlotte, she learned that Mr. Van Horn’s use of the word “gang” was not a stylistic choice: Barnes and his friends run a motorcycle club called the ‘Avengers’ that had quite the reputation around town. Some feverish googling revealed that no criminal charges had ever been filed against the members, but it didn’t stop people from being suspicious. Several local news articles accused them of a string of vandal acts in 4 neighboring counties, spray-painting a skull and crossbones on public buildings and signs.

Y/N kept a close eye out for her neighbor after that - she listened for his motorcycle leaving the house and planned her own trips around his absence. She had the locks changed on the front door and went to the hardware store for a security alarm for the front and back doors of the house. Still, she was on edge whenever she was at home, alone in her quietly creaking house, with nothing but the sound of the TV for company. She started taking melatonin to help herself get to sleep at night.

As far as she could tell, Bucky was making no attempt to see her, either. He often left his house late at night and returned sometime after she had left for work, or stayed gone for a couple days at a time. If he worked a real job she couldn’t tell what it was - his comings and goings were so sporadic there was no way he was holding down a 9 to 5 somewhere. In any case, Y/N was just glad that their opposing schedules never allowed their paths to cross.

A week after the carnival, Y/N was sitting in her office at the clinic, filling out invoices for supplies. As a kid, she never imagined being a doctor would involve so much paperwork and planning, but somehow the dull minutiae of “real” jobs would always catch up with you. She puffed out a sigh and leaned back in her chair, refreshing the email page on her desktop. A reminder for a birthday party she wouldn’t be able to attend popped up, along with a student newsletter from her medical college she kept forgetting to unsubscribe to. She went back to her invoices.

A knock at the door startled her from her pile of paperwork. Charlotte poked her head in.

“Um, exam room 1,” she squeaked, clearing her throat before she continued. “The patient is ready in exam room 1.”

“Oh,” Y/N frowned. “I thought we had seen our scheduled patients already this morning? Is it an emergency visit?”

Charlotte’s eyes darted to the side before she nodded.

“Alright, then.” Y/N stood from her desk and slipped her lab coat back on. “What am I in for?”

“Um...I think you should just see for yourself.” Charlotte’s voice was tight, an octave higher than usual. She scurried back to her place at the front desk before Y/N could ask her anymore questions.

With her mind spinning a thousand worst-case scenarios, walked down the hall and opened the door to exam room 1.

Fuck.

The room was practically at capacity with the 3 burly men occupying it. On the exam table, swinging his long legs, was a smiling Steve Rogers; Sam Wilson sat in the chair next to him, browsing a pamphlet on STDs; and leaning against the wall next to the door was the man she tried so desperately to avoid - Bucky Barnes, in the flesh. His thick arms were crossed over his chest as he glared at the other two men, not sparing her a glance.

“Hi, doc.” Steve lifted his hand in a small wave. “I came to check up on my stitches.” Sam looked up over his pamphlet and waved, too. Y/N’s eyebrows furrowed.

“And you needed two friends to come with you?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Rogers nodded.

“We’re here for moral support,” Sam piped up.

“Uh huh.” She glanced at Bucky again, who continued to give her the cold shoulder. “Okay. Should only take a couple of minutes.”

She washed her hands, worked on a pair of gloves, and stepped closer to examine Steve’s forehead. Having three large, and reportedly dangerous, men in one small exam room with her set her nerves on edge. Their complete silence while they watched her certainly didn’t help at all, but she was nothing if not a professional, so she took her pen light from the pocket of her lab coat and leaned into his personal space as if it didn’t bother her.

“Hm. This has healed up nicely, Mr. Rogers,” she nodded, tucking the light away.

“Just Steve is fine.”

“Steve, then. Let me just cut these stitches out and then you can be on your way.”

“Sounds good.”

She opened the cabinets above the sink and pulled out some bandages, scissors, tweezers, and alcohol wipes, laying them all out on a moveable tray next to the exam table. She could feel Bucky’s eyes on her and it made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. Still, he was silent as he kept his place by the door.

While she wiped down the area and started clipping the stitches, Sam made light small talk - asking about her weekend, how she was enjoying the clinic and the town, if she’d be going out of town for Labor Day. Y/N wasn’t quite sure what to make of it all, but gave him polite, short answers. She never asked him about himself, but she’d prefer to stay at arms length of all these men.

She swiped the cut again with an alcohol wipe and then covered it with a bandage, stepping back from the table.

“Alright, you’re all done, Steve.”

“Thank you, doc,” Steve smiled appreciatively. “You do good work.”

Y/N shrugged, tugging her gloves off and tossing them in the trash.

“It’s not like you really have a lot of options.”

“You’re right,” he nodded, looking at Sam. “Which is why...we have a proposition for you.”

Y/N blinked. Had she heard him correctly?

“What does that mean?”

“I think you must have heard about us by now, doc,” Sam said, rising from his chair. “The Avengers could use a medic like you.”

“We’re...accident prone,” Steve added. “And as you know, there’s not a hospital nearby, so we’re stuck with having one of our members doing a little first aid whenever we get beat up. But having a real doctor around? Could really save our asses.”

“I’m sorry...what exactly is it that you’re asking me to do?”

“It’s just some extra work on the side. After clinic hours, you’d be available for a member of our club if they needed any medical care. We could come to your place or bring you to the clubhouse, we’ll get you any supplies you need. And of course we’ll pay you.”

Steve was calm and confident while making his pitch, Sam standing beside him and watching her closely. Y/N’s brain was spinning. They were basically asking her to join their motorcycle club, right? Staying at the clubhouse and patching up their buddies? What the fuck was happening. She looked over at Bucky, who had stayed silent this entire time. His eyes were on her now, and they looked...wary. Tired. It was like he was asking her something but she just couldn’t hear him.

“No, I’m afraid I’m not interested.”

“Not interested? In getting extra money for doing your job?” Sam’s eyebrows went up.

“My job is running this clinic, not playing nurse for a biker gang,” Y/N fumed. She took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. “You’ve really got some nerve coming in here and telling me that - but I took out your stitches and answered your question, so I’m going to have to ask you to leave now.”

She crossed her arms, giving the three of them a final glare before opening the exam room door and motioning for them to get out. The men shuffled out, their massive height filling the doorway. Steve glanced at her as he passed.

“If you change your mind, the offer is still on the table,” he said. Then they were gone.

Back in her office, Y/N slumped forward and laid her head on her desk. What the hell was that? How was this happening to her? ‘Young doctor moves to a small town, joins a biker gang’ sounded like a really bad premise for a movie.

She ate her lunch alone at her desk, obsessing over the situation. Joining a biker club was insane. Completely batshit. There was no chance in hell she would consider it. But on the other hand...Steve had said they would pay her. How much could they offer? She had to admit, she was weakly tempted by the money. If an extra paycheck helped her pay off her student loans faster, she could get out of here...move back to the city, back to her life. Her texts were full of friends begging her to come back and visit, sad that she was stuck in the middle of nowhere. Besides Charlotte, she hadn’t really managed to make a lot of connections here. It was lonely and hard...and patching up a few bikers on the side for a year or so could get it all over with.

But no, she told herself. Still not worth it. Absolutely not worth getting arrested when the Avengers got busted for drugs or human trafficking or murder. These bikers could end up ruining the rest of her life. No way. She’d take the slower, safer route, even if it was more boring.

Around mid-afternoon, Stacey, one of her other nurses, announced another walk-in patient.

“He says he wants you to look at his shoulder, he thinks he might have injured it in a football game,” she shrugged. Y/N nodded and slipped into the exam room.

Yet another large, muscular man in her clinic - where was this town getting all of these beefy men? He had removed his leather jacket and was sitting on her exam table in a white t-shirt and jeans; his hair was shaved on the sides and longer on top, slicked back from his forehead, and his arms were covered in tattoos. He had a nice enough face, she thought, even though he looked like his nose had been broken one too many times, and there was something...shifty about him. A little greasy.

“Good afternoon Mr…” she glanced at her chart. “Rumlow, is it?”

“Oh, you can call me Brock,” he smiled, a little sleazy.

“Okay, Brock. So it’s your shoulder bringing you in today?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Okay. Let’s have a look then.”

He nodded and pulled off his shirt before she could tell him not to, revealing even more tattoos across his muscled skin. He turned halfway, showing her his right shoulder.

“Oh, wow. Um, well there’s a lot of bruising here,” she said, stepping closer. The skin all around his shoulder and collarbone was bruised purple and blue. “How did this happen?”

“Playing football with some buddies,” he sighed, turning to give her that smile again. “I guess we like it a little rough.”

“Hm.” She ignored his comment. “Can you rotate it?”

She tested his range of motion, felt the area and asked about his pain. She brought Stacy back in and did an X-ray, to check for a break in his humerus. The results all seemed fine, which was a relief, as she was starting to feel uncomfortable with the way he was looking at her.

“Well, the good news is that you don’t have any broken bones - I think you just have some really deep bruising from the impact,” she said, putting her X-rays to the side. “So I would advise you to just be gentle with it, take it easy, and put some ice on it every day. The muscles need a little time to heal - so no football for now.”

“Alright, doctor’s orders,” Rumlow raised his hands in surrender.

“Anything else?” Y/N asked politely, ready to be out of the room.

“Well...now that you mention it,” he said slowly, pulling his t-shirt back over his head. “I was wondering if you were taking on any new patients. No special conditions - other than a sweet tooth, that is.” There was something in his smile, like he knew something she didn’t. She cleared her throat.

“If you’d like for us to keep your information on file, you can ask Charlotte at the front desk and fill out some paperwork,” she nodded.

“Alright then.” He hopped off the table and turned to slip his jacket back on. She could see a skull and crossbones tattoo on the back of his neck.

“Have a good day, Mr. Rumlow.”

“Brock.”

“Right.” She held the door for him and was glad when he was down the hallway and out of sight.

*************************************************************************

Y/N was in bed by 9:00 that night, too tired to care. Maybe living in an old woman’s house was turning her into the spinster she had always feared. But today was just too much, and she crawled into her bed with her clothes still on and passed out.

She woke to someone pounding on her front door.

Blearily she glanced at her alarm clock - 2:05 am. Why would someone be here at that hour? The pounding continued as she dragged herself out of her warm covers and stumbled towards the front door, remembering to grab her pepper spray off the lanyard on her nightstand. She crept up to the door on soft, silent feet, waiting for the banging to stop.

“Who is it?” she yelled when they took a break.

“Bucky,” he called, sounding exhausted. “Please, open the door?”

She hesitated, her hand hovering over the knob. This man was the rumored enforcer of a dangerous motorcycle club. She should not help him or be his friend, or let him in to her house at 2 in the morning.

“Please?” he called again. “I’m not gonna hurt you, I swear. I just...need your help.”

She sighed. Probably more stitches, or a broken hand from punching someone. Y/N turned the lock and swung the door open. Bucky was leaning hunched against the door frame, one of his hands pressed to his stomach. In the glow of the porchlight she could see it was covered in blood, soaking the lower half of his shirt. He looked up weakly when the door opened, giving her an apologetic look.

“I didn’t know where else to go,” he panted. “I’m sorry.”

[krreader]

create your own happy ending.

pairing: kim taehyung x reader fandom: bts warnings: soulmate!au ; language genre: angst ; fluff

summary: there is no right or wrong when it comes to happy endings. each and every one of them is different and both you and taehyung had to realize that.

a/n: eleven pages and I cried at quite a few of them so that’s always a good sign lol. I hope you like it and thank you for the request ♥

ask box | masterlists | faq | twitter | ko-fi | REQUESTS ARE CLOSED.

You opened your eyes, staring at the white of your ceiling with a hint of disappointment when you realized that it had once again been a dream.

It was weird that it was always Taehyung, but you explained it with the fact that he was probably just your bias. It was normal. Your friends dreamt about their favorite idols/actors/singers all the time. But whatever you were dreaming, somehow Taehyung always found his way into your dreams.

Whether he was the 'main' actor in your dream, or just someone who passed by in the background, he was absolutely always there.

Sometimes you were enemies, other times you were friends and often you were lovers. Those were your favorite dreams, by far.

“I'm serious you guys, my soulmate is so freaking handsome. I can't wait to meet him in real life,” your friend said over coffee a few hours later.

“I had three dreams about Jimin last week.. do you guys think he's my soulmate?” another asked, but the rest of them just snorted.

“As if any of us are their soulmates.”

That's why you never told them about your dreams, because they would react the same way. They would laugh in your face, tell you you were insane for even thinking of this possibility, because how could you, a normal person, be the soulmate of someone like Kim Taehyung?

“(Y/N) never talks about her soulmate,” suddenly all eyes were on you. And you were seriously uncomfortable, “How come?”

“Well, I..-” you cleared your throat and straightened your back, “I just don't believe in the whole thing, you know?”

You kind of did.. deep down, you knew that he was your soulmate. But you didn’t want to accept that yet, because you knew you had absolutely zero chance with him.

“Good for you, hun. If the thing actually works, then we'll all meet our soulmates eventually anyways. And if we don't, then we'll just be successful and happy on our own.”

You all toasted to that.

Even though.. a soulmate would be nice.

Jimin smiled a little when Taehyung woke up from his slumber, the plane still high in the air.

“Sleep well?”

But Taehyung just shrugged. He didn't get a lot of rest lately, mostly because he refused to go to sleep.

And it wasn't because he was too busy, but because he was afraid of what, or rather who, he would meet in his dream. Because it was always the same one who appeared.

“You shouldn't be afraid of your soulmate, you know?”

“I'm not afraid of her,” he quickly said.

That's not what this was about.

The issue was that he didn't know her, that meant she wasn't in this industry and that meant he had no chance of being with her because of who he was. Who he had decided to become when he was younger. Fans would never accept it, he would not have enough time and he’d always feel like everyone else was judging him.

It was like each happy ending had to be the same, otherwise it wouldn’t work.

Most idols somehow managed to find someone who was even just remotely in the industry, or someone who they knew they had a chance to be with. A manager, a stylist, a producer, a choreographer, a translator.. someone like that.

Taehyung knew that dreaming about a normal person as his soulmate meant being lonely forever.

Because he refused to be with anyone but his soulmate.

“Who knows,” Jimin continued to browse through his magazine, “Maybe you'll meet her soon.”

“What good will that do?” Taehyung turned back around, now clearly pouting, “We have no chance of being together.”

You and your friends were sitting in the library, studying for an upcoming test, when the doors got smashed open – and that was unusual for a library – and the missing member from your group of friends ran in with something that looked a lot like tickets in her hand.

“I FUCKING WON YOU GUYS!” she screamed, everyone around her immediately shushing her, to which she quickly apologized and then sat down with the rest of you, her legs bouncing up and down nervously.

“You won what?” another friend whispered.

“Remember that stupid game show they always play on the radio in the morning where you can call in and win VIP tickets for you and your friends for concerts and sports games and stuff?”

“Yes?”

“Well, I called this morning and they told me to pick up my tickets right away, because the concert is literally tonight!”

“Hold on,” one of them seemed to understand and was now looking very shocked, “Are they..-?”

“BTS TICKETS!” she screamed once again, the librarian looking very angry at this point.

So angry that you all had to leave because it wasn't just her that was losing it now, but all of your friends.

She got five tickets, so a ticket for each of you.

You'd all go backstage with two members of the radio station, you'd chill in the VIP area and you could watch the concert without fans pushing you around.

But it didn’t quite hit you all until you arrived at the arena later that night.

There were so many fans, you didn't know where the line started and where it ended. But the friend of yours that had won dragged you further away from the crowd, almost to the back of the arena.

That's where the two guys of the radio station waited for you.

“There you guys are, we didn't know if you'd find it,” one of them said with a huge grin, “Are you excited?”

“Yeah,” all of you answered in unison.

Well.. all but you.

Because you had contemplated whether or not you should even go.

Taehyung popped up again and again in your thoughts. You were scared of what you might feel when you'd see him on that stage. When he'd be so far away and wouldn't even realize you were here and yet you'd be looking at him and you'd realize that your excuses had been shit because that man right there was your soulmate and you couldn't lie to yourself any longer.

But backing out on this would have looked weird, because who in the world would miss an opportunity like that, right?

The radio hosts lead you through the entrance without having to wait in line.

You showed your tickets, got your bags checked and then went inside.

Staff members were running around, yelling at each other and clearly preparing for the show ahead.

Your friends were listening to what the radio guys were saying. They explained to them how these shows worked, what had to be done beforehand and how time consuming it all was. And while they were all actually just hoping to meet the boys, they all listened willingly.

Had no other choice, to be honest.

You were a little further behind, looked at everything more carefully than them, mostly just because you were hoping that it would take your mind off the obvious.

Until one of your friends suddenly screamed.

And then you completely froze because there was only one reason they'd get this excited.

“You must be the lucky winners this time,” Namjoon grinned from ear to ear and looked at each of your friends with pure kindness in his eyes, “I'm Namjoon. It's so nice to meet you.”

And then they all came out.

Yoongi, Jin, Hoseok, Jungkook, Jimin..

They were all there, shaking their hands and smiling at them like the nice people that they were.

And then..-

“And this is our Taehyungie.”

And that's when your heart stopped pounding.

“Mommy? How did know daddy was your soulmate when you met him?” your eight year old self asked when your mother tucked you in one night.

She smiled at you with the happiness in her eyes that she always had when she talked about your father, “Well.. I had seen him in my dreams since I was a little girl, you know? So I knew that he was my soulmate.”

“Did you say I love you right away?”

Your mother chuckled, gently brushing her hand through your hair, “No, but I wanted to. Because I felt it. I remember I looked at him and it was as if my entire life had been leading up to that moment. I remember how my heart stopped beating and how I couldn't breathe anymore because he was just so.. ethereal. I had only seen him in my dreams, so it was surreal seeing him in real life. But I instantly knew that I loved him.”

“And what did daddy do?”

“Well, daddy didn't see me right away because he didn't have his glasses on,” you both laughed at that, but then your mother's voice became soft again, “I was.. so shy. But I knew that I couldn't let him go. I knew that if I did, if I let him walk away, I might never see him again. And.. that would have hurt me really bad.”

“I'm glad you talked to him, mommy,” you said tiredly, “I'm glad he loved you back.”

“Me too, sweetheart.”

You tried to control your breathing, but it was easier said than done. It was if your body was not functioning correctly all of a sudden, your heartbeat was stopping and then suddenly beating so fast again that you felt like it would jump out of your chest at any second, your belly felt like a thousand butterflies were flying around in it and your legs felt like jelly.

And just like your mother..

..you knew.

“Where is..-” your friend asked, finally realizing that someone from your group was missing. She turned around and found you staring at them with wide eyes. Well.. staring at only one of them, “What are you doing, (Y/N)?! Come on!”

But you couldn't move.

You wanted to tell him, run up to him and tell him that you loved him and that was so weird because you didn't even really know him, but at the same time you knew all about him.

Taehyung was looking at you for a moment, then narrowed his eyes at you and then gulped down hard.

But he managed to conceal it a lot better than you did.

He was so used to hiding his real feelings that this was easy for him.

But on the inside.. it looked a lot different.

“Uhm,” Namjoon decided to clear up the suddenly awkward atmosphere with a cough and looked at your friends again, “I think we need to get ready. You guys enjoy the show, okay?”

“We will! Thank you so much! And I hope you have a great time too!” another friend of yours said, two of your group already walking over to you to see if you were having a stroke or something.

Taehyung looked at you for a moment longer, then he turned around and left with the rest of his members.

Your mother's words rang in your ear, you tried forcing yourself to run after him because you would never get another chance like this..

..but you were just a fan.

And just because he was your soulmate didn't mean that you were his. Because there was no way a fan could be the soulmate of an idol..

“(Y/N)? Are you alright?”

No.. no you really weren't.

“I need some air.”

“You okay?” Jimin sat down next to Tae in the hair and make-up room. He looked.. distraught. Visibly so.

“Yeah, sure. Why wouldn't I be?”

“I don't know.. you just seem.. off,” Jimin licked his lips, “Is it because of those girls? Did they make you uncomfortable? I know that one girl stared at you a lot, but some fans are..-”

“She didn't,” he quickly interrupted, “I'm fine, hyung. Honestly,” and with that he got up and walked out of the room, leaving a confused Jimin behind.

On one hand he had always hoped he'd never get to meet his soulmate because meeting her would mean having to face the harsh reality that it would never work between the two of you.

On the other hand, he had always yearned to see the face of the woman he had been dreaming about for the last years and tell her all the things he wanted her to know.

But you were a fan and he was an idol.

And he had to remind himself of that.

His legs carried him outside, his brain needing air to work properly again.

But soulmates were connected to destiny.

And he should have known that he wouldn't be the only one who was rattled because of that meeting.

“Hey mom,” he heard you say, the phone pressed tightly against your ear, “I uh.. I found my soulmate.”

He could tell that you were holding in tears and he knew that he shouldn't listen in, but..-

“I wish I could be as excited as you are, but it didn't go well. I felt what you once told me you felt when you met dad, but.. when he looked at me it was as if I didn't matter.. which I probably don't,” you said sadly, brushing your sleeve over your nose.

Taehyung's shoulders slumped, his body suddenly feeling numb as he leaned back against the cold iron door.

“I wanted to have a happy ending like you and dad did, but.. I guess I'll just have to be on my own and find my own way,” there was a moment of silence, before you continued, “No, it's okay, you don't have to pick me up. I'll come home soon, I don't think I should be here anyways. Maybe just.. give me a hug when I come home and tell me you love me?”

Taehyung closed his eyes for a moment and to his own surprise, a tear managed to sneak out of his eye that he quickly wiped away.

He felt it too.

All of it.

He knew you were the right one and he hated himself for not being able to tell you. He hated himself for not being able to go to you and ask you to be with him forever, because that's all he wanted.

All he had ever wanted..

..it's always been you.

Unfortunately the more he thought about it, the more he cried, until the tears just wouldn’t stop coming.

And even though he knew he should leave before you turned around and saw him, he didn't.

He didn't move.

Not even when you finally got up from those stairs and wanted to walk back inside, stopping dead in your tracks when you saw him, the tears on his face mirroring yours.

“There are so many things I want to say to you,” he whispered, his jaw beginning to clench and the tears still running out of his eyes.

But you didn't respond, you just stared at him, your own tears not stopping either. If only, the crying actually got worse when he approached you and suddenly stood right in front of you.

And being so close to the one you loved but not being able to touch him and tell him how much they meant to you..

..it was torture.

“And god,” he wanted to laugh, but it turned into a sob instead, “You're so beautiful, (Y/N).”

Now it was your turn to sob, your head dropping and your eyes pressing shut because you realized you were his soulmate too, but.. he couldn't be with you.

You knew it, he didn't have to say it.

You’re just a fan.

“Taehyung?” Jimin peaked through the door, his heart dropping at what he saw, but Taehyung quickly wiped away his tears and turned around to look at his band member, “Uh.. we uh.. need to go on stage soon.”

“Alright,” he nodded, taking a deep breath and looking at you one last time, “I wish I could give you the happy ending you deserve.”

And with that, he walked back inside.

And you broke down, literally.

Your knees gave in, until you were sitting on the cold floor, your sobs becoming uncontrollable and your entire body being in pain and no matter how hard you hugged yourself, you couldn’t give yourself comfort.

You lost your soulmate before you even really had him..

Taehyung was as professional as he always was.

The other members noticed his puffy eyes, but they didn't say anything.

He performed like he usually did, smiled and pretended to be happy, but as soon as he walked off tonight, he left the premises.

The others were a little slower with wrapping things up, assumed that he just wasn't feeling well, but one of them knew that there was something more going on.

That's why Jimin asked his manager to drive him to the hotel too.

And ten minutes later, he knocked on his band members' door, his heart aching at what he saw when Taehyung opened it.

“I know you don't like to drink, but.. I feel like you could use one right about now.”

Jimin walked inside, took off his jacket and watched Taehyung lie down, hugging a pillow as close to his body as possible.

The room was pitch dark, the only lights being the city lights from outside that slightly illuminated the room.

He didn't want to push, so all that Jimin did was lie down next to him and wait for his younger member to talk if he wanted to.

Otherwise he would just be here so that he at least wasn't alone.

“She was my soulmate, Jimin,” he whispered after a while, his voice hoarse from all the crying.

“That girl?”

“Yeah. I knew it the second I saw her..”

Jimin let out a breath and put his hand on Tae's shoulder, squeezing once, “I'm so sorry.”

Usually people congratulated their friends and family upon finding their soulmates, but Jimin and all the other idols knew that if your soulmate wasn't in the industry, you almost never ended up with them because it was simply put almost impossible.

“I heard her talk to her mother on the phone and she was so.. heartbroken. This.. beautiful and kind woman was sitting there, crying because of me. Because of how fucking disgusting and stupid and horrible I am and because..-” when Taehyung began to cry again, Jimin immediately turned him around by his shoulder and pulled him against him, letting him cry into his chest and rubbing his hand up and down his back, letting him know that he wasn’t alone right now

He had a hard time not crying himself, to be honest. It hurt him so much to see one of his brothers be so utterly broken. But he tried to be strong. For him.

“Taehyungie.. ever since we met, you told me how excited you were to meet your soulmate. How excited you were to have your first date with her, then marry her and then start a family with her eventually. How excited you were to start your lives together and share everything and anything with each other. But somewhere along the way, you stopped being excited and became sad instead.”

“Because once I realized she wasn't from this industry, I realized that it would never work!” he sobbed.

“But what if it could? Imagine if your soulmate was another idol, imagine her fans and your fans hating it so much, that the hate would be twice as bad and you could never be happy. Imagine how hard it would be if she was an idol as well and both of your schedules were so packed, that you could almost never see each other. I know that most of the time these relationships work and those of idols and 'normal people' don't, but there are cases where it does work the other way around. And just because everyone in this world tells you it won’t, doesn’t mean that it has to be like that,” his soothing voice made Taehyung slowly calm down, “It wouldn't be easy and I'm sure the two of you would shed a lot of tears over the years, but in the end.. wouldn't it be worth trying?”

The crying stopped.

Slowly.

Because now Taehyung began to think.

If his fans found out that he and you were dating, they would probably be furious, but he could always hide it for as long as he had to. Maybe you were willing to travel with him, maybe he could show you the world and you could experience it all together.. maybe you were willing to try if he meant as much to you as you meant to him..

“Do you really think it could work?”

Honestly? Jimin had no idea, but he felt like Taehyung needed someone to say: “I do.”

“I'm glad you could come,” the radio show host said with a smile, “Your friends told us you hadn't been feeling good and the goodie bag was too heavy for one of them to carry two, so I'm glad you can pick it up.”

To be honest, at first you hadn't even wanted to.

It would be BTS merch that would only remind you of your soulmate that had left you, but you had enough cousins and friends who would die for a bag like that, so you had decided to go and get it.

“If you could just wait in here,” the guy showed you into a conference room, “I'll be back in a sec.”

You nodded with a small smile and turned around, letting out a breath at the view in front of you.

You could overlook the entire city from here.. a calming feeling to the hurt you had been feeling the past days.

The door got opened and then closed again and without turning around you said: “You guys really have a nice view from up here.”

But when you did turned around, it wasn't the guy with the bag that stood in front of you.

“I didn't know how else to contact you,” Taehyung said nervously, “I hope you're not mad.”

“Just.. surprised,” and confused and also ready to cry again because your heart was still in pieces.

He carefully took two steps towards the table, then sat down in one of the chairs, you doing the same in the one next to his.

“I.. wanted to talk to you again.”

“About what?”

“Well.. us.”

“Us?” you furrowed your eyebrows, “You made it pretty clear that there is no us.”

“Relationships in my line of work usually don't last with people from outside of the industry. Fans get crazy mad when they find out we're dating normal people, we idols feel even more pressure because we never feel as if what we can give you is enough and everyone around us is telling us that it isn’t right. That we should be with people that are like us.”

“If you're saying all of this because you're trying to make me feel any better it's not working.”

“I'm saying all of this because I realized that not everyone is the same. That only because the relationship of a friend didn't work with him being an idol and her not being one, doesn't mean that it has to be the same for us too. That the opinion of others shouldn’t matter when it comes to what I’m feeling. That happy endings don’t always have to be the same for everyone. I realized that we both owe it to ourselves to at least.. try.”

He had looked just as broken as you had when you had first seen him, but now he looked.. hopeful.

“Why?” you whispered.

“Because I knew I loved you the second I saw you,” your heart began to speed up at those honest words, “And I would never forgive myself if I didn't even try to lead the life I always wanted with my soulmate.”

At first you just stared into his eyes as if you couldn't quite believe it, maybe your brain even told you not to believe it or you would get hurt again, but then your eyes began to water again without you being able to stop it and you knew that your heart had won the battle.

“Are those.. good or bad tears?” he asked hesitantly.

“They're good tears,” you chuckled, continued to smile while he softly brushed them away, “Very good tears.”

Taehyung was right.

You both owed it to yourselves to at least.. try.

“Mommy? Daddy? Can you tell me a story?” your daughter pouted, both you and Taehyung returning to her bed to sit down again with soft smiles.

“Okay how about.. this one,” Taehyung started, gently brushing his fingers over her cheek, “Once upon a time, there was a man who was very, very lost in his life. He was very sad and very lonely, despite so many people loving him. But he wanted to find a different type of love. He wanted to find his true love so, so much. But at the same time, he was so afraid of that kind of love.”

“Why was he afraid of true love?” she asked with wide eyes.

“Because true love can be scary sometimes. People sometimes tell you that love has to be a certain way for it to be true and pure, but that's not true.. and the man realized that eventually,” he turned his head to look at you, a happy smile on his face, “He realized that no matter what other people said, all that mattered was what he felt for the love of his life and what she felt for him.”

“Does the story have a happy ending?”

“Yes,” you replied, your hand brushing through the back of Taehyung's hair, “The happiest of them all.”

[getitinbusan]

Waste it on me

Jimin watched from across the room, the look on Jungkook's face was a cross between sadness and anger. He sat staring at his phone like he couldn't believe what he was reading.

Text from Y/N: Hey Kookie, I know your going to be upset by this...I can't get off work tonight. I begged JYP to give me the night off but Got7 just landed a big interview and they want me to have it styled by the end of the week. If I lose this job I'll have to move back to the States and I just want to us to be able to stay together. You know I love you right?

JK: I can't believe that you aren't coming Y/N. This means the world to me. It's our first concert of the tour, its being filmed, my friends, my family are all coming, its a huge venue and honestly I'm a little nervous. I thought I could lean on you to get me through tonight. You know if you lose your job I will support you. I'll take care of you for the rest of our lives, I'm not sure why you are so stubborn about keeping this job at JYP.

Y/N: Kookie, we've been through this. I can't expect you to take care of me. What if we were to break up? I'd have nothing.

JK: Fuck Y/N, why can't you just let go of the past and believe that everything will work out for once. It's breaking my fucking heart that you don't believe in us like I do. I don't know what else I can say or do to re assure you that I'm not going anywhere....unless you are? Is that what this is? Is that what all the texts from Jackson are about?

Y/N: I am so sorry Kook, those words hurt. I love you and I'm trying my best. Have a good show. We'll talk later at home...I guess.

"Hey JK, We've got a show to do, what's going on?" Jimin pressed him knowing that the Maknae liked to keep his feelings to himself. "You need to get this worked out before we go out there. What can I do?"

"Nothing, Hyung. She just doesn't love me as much as I thought. Maybe we aren't supposed to be together." with that Jungkook walked out hitting the photo shoot prop balloon in frustration.

"Fuck" you said bursting into tears and slamming your phone down just as Jackson walked into the dressing room. "Hey what's wrong?" He asked. " Sorry Jackson, this is so unprofessional of me, I'll get myself together I swear. Please don't tell management" you pleaded with him while trying to collect yourself. "Is this about you and Jungkook? That kid loves you so much, you're all he talks about. He's going to be so pumped that he gets to perform for the first time in front of you tonight. Its really hard for an Idol to find something, someone that means more to them than performing. Don't take it for granted" His words rang through your ears. "Even if it means not working with you anymore?" you asked. "Especially if it means not working with me anymore. JYP doesn't care about anyone, they care about money. Why the hell would you choose them over someone who would do anything for you? I know you don't have much out here, but the guys and I all adore you. No matter what happens you've Got7 of us on your team" you rolled your eyes adding, "You and Jin and your bad jokes should hangout out more"

Text from Jimin: Hey Y/N, I know something is going on between you and JK. I've never seen him like this before. If you love him at all please come. Text me and I'll make sure you get in backstage, we are going on really soon.

Y/N: Jimin I fucked up. Help me put this back together💔

You arrived at the stadium just as Singularity was wrapping up. On Jimins instructions Security whisked you to the dressing area so you could wait for the next costume change to see Jungkook. The big screens played the concert so the crew could watch behind the scenes. Your jaw dropped when the cameras panned the crowd. The chanting and the army bombs were overwhelming with beauty, your heart swelled with pride for your boyfriend.

Fake Love began and you watched Jungkook give his entire heart and soul to the audience. You remembered Jacksons words, "It's really hard for an Idol to find something, someone that means more to them than performing." This was it, you were 100% committed to this man, no matter what. You were finally ready to let yourself be loved. You watched his dance moves, the way his shirt hitched up exposing his abs under that harness. You'd have to have a talk with the boys stylist Noona, she clearly has a specific vision for your boyfriend that while you liked, perhaps she was enjoying the fittings more than she should be.

Maybe it was because he was hurt and it was being channeled into his performance but you'd never found him sexier. The thrusts, the lip swipes the abs, you needed him, now. You moved into the curtained off area where his wardrobe was waiting for the next set. You pulled the white dress shirt down getting it ready for a quick change. According to Jimin's calculations you had just under 15 minutes till he was due back up for The Truth Untold.

The backstage ruckus grew closer as the boys made their way down to their own fitting rooms. Pulling back the curtain Jungkook immediately zeroed in on your presence and took no time getting in front of you. "I'm sorry for what I said about Jackson, I was Jealous" You slammed your mouth onto his kissing him hard. "Let me apologize Kook. You are my everything, I'm all yours and I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like you were second place in my life. Watching you tonight, baby, your never going to get me away from your shows. I can't believe what you do up there on that stage."

You grabbed his harness unfastening it as quickly as you could. You both began unbuttoning his shirt, him from the top you the bottom meeting in the middle. You kneeled down, face to face with his amazing abs giving them small pecks all the way to his belt buckle. "No time to change these" you said " were just going to have to improvise." You pulled down his zipper and reached into his pants. Fuck he was so hard, all the adrenaline and blood racing from performing was making him completely erect and his already large cock looked even bigger and sexier than ever.

"Y/N please" he begged "let me fuck you" "Shut up Jungkook, I'm going to take care of you" You moved your mouth over his head swirling your tongue to get it good and wet. You didn't have much time, you could hear Seesaw in the background, one more song to get him off.

You pushed him back against the wall to get some stability while you moved your mouth around him. Head bobbing furiously as he hit the back of your throat. You pulled off him and cupped his balls licking them at the same time. He was moaning loudly and you were glad for the sound of the audience. You began twisting your hand around the base of his cock and sucking it again when he turned you around to the wall. "I'm going to fuck your mouth hard until I cum down your throat." He said "Please Kookie" was all you could choke out. That sent him over the edge, a few thrusts and his cum was hot in your mouth.

He stood there in a daze for a minute trying to gather what had just happened. "Kookie there's no time left", Epiphany was on and he had to run. While still in his trance, you helped put the white dress shirt on and pushed him out the curtain back towards the stage. "I love you" you shouted after him.

Jimin, walking by smirked at you knowing what had just taken place. "Glad you could make it after all. I'll put in a good word to Big Hit that you're a really good stylist for between wardrobe changes" You punched him on the arm and followed him to the side stage where you were able to watch the rest of the concert. Kookie, every now and again, looking to make sure you were still right where you were meant to be.

[iheartseo]

for me // ashton i.

requested: no

word count: 1.6k+

synopsis: it is really the little things that matter and he loves that she learnt something so sweet for him just so they can spend that one minute together.

a/n: this idea has been stuck in my fucken head for AGESS. and i know i haven’t written anything in years but i hope you guys like this quick little blurb thing. i was going to write it for shawn, but considering ashton has been rocking suits lately, i had to do it for him. enjoy!! italics mean flashback.

masterlist // requests are open

“Babe!” Ashton called as he looked in the mirror, struggling to get his tie right. He furrowed his eyebrows as he unraveled the messy knot that he attempted himself. Before he began his sixth attempt, in walked in his girlfriend of five years. She leaned against the door frame from their bedroom, smirking with her hands folded across her chest. To say that she found it entertaining and a little bit sad that her boyfriend who could play almost any instrument he wanted, could string words together so poetically and thoughtfully and is even incredibly open minded towards anything artistic, could not tie his own fucken tie.

He looked up from his tie, his hazel eyes meeting her bright one. He gave her a small, sad smile which was begging for help.

“Need some help?” she asked, clearly finding his struggle amusing.

“If you don’t mind.”

Rolling her eyes playfully, she pushed herself off the door frame and walked towards him. He turned around, and completely undid his pathetic sixth attempt of tying his tie. Her smile stayed on her face when she approached him, smoothing out his tie and adjusting the length of it first before beginning to fold it in such an expert manner.

“You are absolutely useless, you know that?” she teased, her eyes flicking from his tie and his face. Ashton chuckled softly, shrugging his shoulders. “Glad you realised after all these years.” he responded back quickly. She rolled her eyes once more and concentrated back on tying his tie. For today, his tie was a classic black though there was a textured paisley pattern all over it that was only visible in certain angles when the light would hit it just right. He was wearing pairing it with a classic black suit jacket and slightly flared out pants.

“What’s the event going on tonight again?”

“To be honest, I have no idea. Some weird mixer thing that is going on at the label. The theme is black tie.”

“Sounds boring.”

“Yeah, especially since my baby isn’t coming.”

“Sorry Ash, but that 2000 word paper on the important use of commas in linguistics isn’t gonna write itself.”

Ashton laughed softly as he shook his head, causing her to hit his chest softly as she muttered ‘stay still’. He continued to smile, finding her concentration to tying his tie absolutely adorable. Her weird obsession with making his tie look perfect allowed them both to share a quick but intimate moment together. It was where he was able to hold her close and admire her beauty. Whether she was in full makeup, her toned down makeup, or her bare face, Ashton loved being this close to her to admire everything about her. It made him smile finding a new sunspot or freckle across her cheeks, or even a loose eyelash to which he gently would brush away and then end up gently caressing her cheeks.

In moments like this, he would get lost in his own little world.

That world being two gorgeous eyes and a weird little laugh.

That world being dry jokes and loud, startling awes at puppy and kitty videos on facebook.

That world being warm hugs and a heartbeat.

Her.

She then pulled up her perfectly created knot up to just the right height where he wouldn’t feel suffocated by the tie, or that the tie looked too loose on him. She straighten everything out and smiled. Her boyfriend was definitely handsome with a tie on.

She looked up from her creation and smiled at her boyfriend. “There you go rockstar. One perfectly good tie.” Ashton smiled back at her as he leaned down slightly to give her a quick kiss, holding onto her waist. “Thank you, baby.” he said, kissing her once more.

“You sure you can’t come to this party? I’m pretty sure they will have those mini bruschettas that you love so much going around.”

“Yikes… tempting, but my assignment is due this week and I really should start on it.”

“How did I find someone so dedicated and so smart?”

“You just got lucky, I guess.”

“Then I am the luckiest guy in the world.”

She let out a soft giggle when he pulled her closer to kiss her again.

“God, I love you.” he whispered against her lips.

“I love you too.”

---

It was an ungodly hour in the morning, but Ashton and the boys had a packed schedule filled with several radio interviews, magazine interviews and acoustic performances that would last them the entire day. Ashton thanked the makeup artist and hair stylist for finishing off his look for the interview that was up next. He got up from his chair and grabbed the tie that was apart of his ensemble. He would’ve put it on when he was in his hotel room but didn’t have the time considering he was immediately rushed out of his room to get to the first radio.

He stood in front of a mirror and began to tie his tie, surprisingly effortlessly without any mistakes. Smiling at his work, the drummer immediately noticed a surprised look on Michael’s face in the reflection. He turned his head and furrowed his eyebrows at his band member.

“Yes?”

“I thought you didn’t know how to tie a tie.”

“I do?” “Then why do you cry for Y/N all the time to come over and do up your tie for you?”

Ashton bite his lower lip, not wanting to admit the real reason why he lets his girlfriend do his tie every single time.

“I-I just like it better when she does it…”

Michael raised an eyebrow at how flustered and shy the drummer got, not believing a single syllable that just came out of his mouth.

“Uh huh. Yeah mate, I don’t believe you. Now what’s the actual reason?”

Ashton sighed as he shook his head. He took his cup of coffee that was sitting on the bench and took a quick sip of it before shrugging his shoulders.

“I let her do my tie because she learnt how to do it for me…”

Ashton smiled softly at the pizza delivery guy, handing over the money and a small tip. He grabbed the pizzas and told the worker to have a good night before politely shutting the door. Carrying the food to the coffee table, he made sure that the had the right TV show set up on Netflixs and her favourite candle burning in the corner.

“Babe! Pizza is here!” he called out. However, he didn’t hear a response back making him confused on what his girlfriend was doing. “Honey?” he called out again, walking towards their bedroom.

As he approached closer and closer to the slightly opened door, he heard another voice in the room. Thinking that she was listening to her lectures on a high volume again, Ashton slowly pushed the door open, peaking through the gap to just check up on what she was doing. However, he didn’t find her writing notes as her lecturer was speaking. In fact, she was doing that completely threw him off. She was sitting on their bed with one of his ties around her neck.

The look of concentration and determination was painted across her face as she was slowly following the instructions that was being said to her on her laptop. Ashton stood at the door, wondering how long she had been learning this for but finding the whole thing completely sweet and adorable. He stood and watched as his girlfriend sighed softly out of annoyance and reattempted to tie his tie once more. She bit her lower lip, following the instructions to a tee. Once she pulled up the knot, she quickly ran to the mirror and smiled widely.

“Holy fuck finally!” she exclaimed quietly to herself.

As proud as he was, Ashton remembered that they were supposed to be having a date night, causing him to clear his throat as he knocked on the door, opening it up fully to reveal himself. Hearing his voice, she quickly took off the tie and threw it somewhere where it couldn’t be seen. She turned around and gave her boyfriend an innocent smile. “Oh, hey babe. Is the food here yet?”

Ashton immediately noticed at his tie around her neck was gone, but tried his absolute best not to say anything. Instead, he just smiled at her and nodded his head.

“Thank fuck, cause I am starving!” she said, shutting her laptop close before walking out of the room, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek before walking out.

“Wait so she doesn’t know that you know?”

“Well I mean, probably after this interview she will know.” Ashton laughed nervously as his face quickly started to blush. He had never told this story to anyone, not even to any of the boys before. He wanted to keep that moment to himself, though the more he thought about the story, the more he just wanted to brag and express how cute his girlfriend is and how much unconditional love she shares for him, especially with little things such as learning to tie his tie for him.

“That is so adorable!” The interviewer awed as Ashton laughed nervously once more.

“Yeah, my girlfriend is pretty adorable. I’m pretty lucky.” he smiled.

“So what are you gonna do now? Especially cause you know how to tie your own tie. Are you still going to need her to tie it for you?” the interviewer asked.

Without hesitation, Ashton immediately answered ‘yes’ following with an incredibly meaningful ‘no matter what, I’m always going to need her. Whether it is to tie my tie, make me my favourite dish or send me good morning messages; I’m always going to need her in my life. She is wifey. She honestly is.’

tagged: @24kcalum @irwinkitten @nostalgia-luke @flannelpunkcalum @ohhmuke @calumhoodaf @asht0ns-world 

[initiala]

There are Endgame spoilers abound under this cut. Please scroll past this post if you don’t want to read spoilers.

SPOILERS ARE COMING

THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE TO GET OUT BEFORE THE SPOILERS GET YOU

SERIOUSLY KEEP MOVING IF YOU DON’T WANT TO BE SPOILED

Natasha’s death was bullshit. Like I knew they sent her and Clint to get the Soul Stone because it’s Them and they’re partners until the end and they have this bond that makes it Literally Impossible to think of one willingly sacrificing the other, but you have Natasha “Trying To Keep Everyone’s Shit Together” Romanoff” versus Clint “Actual Terrorist” Barton at this point???

And worse is that narratively I can see why they did that -- Natasha was one of the worst affected by the Snap, since the family she did have was broken and scattered by their own issues and she was just left.... trying to figure out how to glue it all back together. She wouldn’t have been able to handle it if they lost everything again, so she did what she needed to in order for it to work. Clint lost his mind when he lost his family and this is him healing and he’ll atone forever for this now, because now he has the guilt of Natasha on his soul -- he saved her once but couldn’t save her twice.

BUT IT’S STILL BULLSHIT AND NO AMOUNT OF “SHE HAS BACKUP” WITH ALL THE REMAINING LADIES OF THE MCU DOING A POWER CHARGE WILL MAKE ME FEEL BETTER BECAUSE NAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE TOO ASDLFJASLDF;A

Literally that entire scene I wanted to throw up because it just went back and forth over who would be the one to die.

I didn’t cry, but I almost did like three separate times: Nat, Happy and Morgan talking about cheeseburgers, and the main 6′s signatures scrolling across their final credits.

I really wanted to brush Thor’s goddamn hair like seventeen times, why didn’t he keep his battle hairstyle and beard.

I’m really glad we got to have final “goodbye” moments for so many characters. Frigga, even Loki had something extra (to go into his spin-off TV show I guess), even a moment with Jane, looking in on Peggy, JAMES D’ARCY AS JARVIS!!!!!!!!!!, Tony getting to have that moment with his father.

THEY GOT ROBERT REDFORD *AGAIN* JFC. The whole segment of cleanup after New York was just. So good? “America’s ass”. So many moments of “hey what if we just.... did this. Make Cap in on the Hydra thing” and filling in the blanks of what happened after the battle.

I’m..... not *unhappy* about Steve’s ending. I think, for the longest time, I’ve wanted them to figure out a way to send him ‘home’. And they did. I think this was his retirement, he was tired of fighting and being on the run. He wasn’t happy, he hadn’t been for a long time -- he had friends and things to do, but he really never did fully fit in. And getting to go back and be with Peggy, and pass on his shield to Sam... Steve lives. He gets to have a life. He gets to love. And that’s okay.

(there’s a lot of time for him and Nat to angst-bang between TWS and Endgame. It’s fine)

But also, for fuck’s sake Steve, Peggy died in 2016 at 95 and you’re still around in 2023 YOU ARE 105 YEARS OLD. GIVE OR TAKE SOME BECAUSE YOU HAD A GO AROUND TWICE FOR A FEW YEARS THERE. The aging makeup they did on Chris looked good, I guess we’ll blame the serum. again.

TONY. AND. PEPPER. HAD. A. BABY. AND. HER. NAME. IS. MORGAN!!!!!!!!! God my heart exploded, RDJ and children are just............. *screaming*

Okay okay okay I’ll talk about other things now, like the FUCKING MUSICAL SCORE TO THIS MOVIE FINDING AND HITTING ALL OF THE EMOTIONAL BUTTONS IN MY HEART AND PRESSING THE FUCK OUT OF THEM. The original Avengers theme, the same score to Tony taking the nuke into space for Peter trying to get the gauntlet to Scott.

THE FUCKING

BONGOS

WHEN THEY WERE PLANNING THE TIME HEIST

ACTUAL SPY HEISTY MOVIE SHIT, FUCKING WHAT EVEN

But seriously, the musical themes hit me more than anything else in so many places, bravo to Alan Silvestri and whoever else worked on the score because you yoinked all the best bits there and shoved them into this movie.

I’ve seen the phrase “love letter to the entire MCU” thrown around quite a bit and I can’t agree more. Even the TV shows had some nods here and there, what with the inclusion of James D’Arcy in a very 1970s hairstyle reprising the role of Jarvis, while Peggy was off in her office being exasperated with men and their incompetencies.

But stylistically it hit a lot of the same beats that “Skyfall” did when it was released -- since it was the 50th anniversary, and they’d basically run out of Fleming material and were going into entirely new territory, they very thematically went backwards in time through the James Bond eras with scenes and lighting and props, before driving off in that Aston Martin through the gates of Skyfall and into something entirely new.

That was Endgame. We hit the high points. We referenced the jokes, we saw some payoffs, we got a lot of “what ifs” played with, a lot of absolute fanservice and a lot of emotional moments being tidied up in the actual end of an era and 11 years of storytelling.

All ending with “I am Iron Man.” and a snap.

And we ended where we began, and now we’re off into something new.

And I’m just going to be really sad about it for a while now. Because even though I’m nowhere as deep into the MCU as I was five years ago, this was still part of my life for A THIRD OF MY ENTIRE LIFE!! And it’s over now. And some threads will remain, but who knows now how invested I’ll be or how eagerly I’ll be looking into things.

It’s the end of an era, and it was good. And I’m sad and happy and I have an emotional headache.

FINAL EDIT: I JUST REALIZED

WHERE WE STARTED WITH ALL THE ORIGINAL 6 BUT HALF THE UNIVERSE IS GONE, WE ENDED WITH THE UNIVERSE EXISTING BUT HALF THE ORIGINAL SIX GONE

ADL;KADF;JLASDFL;JKADFJKL;ASDFL;

[peachyteabuck]

loving him was red

summary: you’ve never had sex on your period, but when you find yourself heated during aunt flow’s visit while at an event with steve, the perfect opportunity arises for you to try it out.

pairing: steve rogers x reader

words:  2381

trigger warnings: menstruation mention, some graphic descriptions of blood, smut (oral, fingering, vaginal sex), lots of swearing, the lords name in vain a few times

notes/other: HI PLS READ THIS ESP IF YOU NORMALLY DO NOT i based this p heavily on my own experiences with menstruation + other accounts i’ve heard. it is very important to remember that there is never one singular way to experience a period NOR is there a WRONG way!! all ppl who have periods are individuals with intersecting health/economic/work statuses. this has been ur daily menstrual health psa from lukis peachyteabuck.tumblr.com

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Pro: you currently look fine as fuck, and are on a date to some Very Important Thing with Captain freaking America.

Con: He’s horny (because you look so hot) and won’t leave you alone about it.

Pro: He’s horny (because you look so hot), and you’re horny (because he looks so hot).

Con: You’re currently on your period. Not only that, but the heaviest day of it is today, meaning your current tampon is acting as a floodgate to the Red Sea. Aunt Flow. Blood Moon. Red Scare. Hellstorm. Bitch in Red. Crimson Tide. Shark Week.

You get the picture.

When he thinks no one’s looking, Steve slides his hands down to your ass. You tense and squeeze your eyes shut.

“Babe, stop,” you hiss through your teeth, but you don’t sound very convincing. A waiter comes by with glasses of champagne and you grab two. You’re gonna need them to get through the next few hours, both because the...whatever you’re at is boring as hell and because all you want to do is jump your boyfriend’s bones.

“Why?” Steve says lowly into your ear. You take another sip of champagne, trying to quell the desire in your stomach. “You look so hot, your tits and ass look so good. Can’t wait to get home and give you all the bruises you want. Can’t wait to make you cum under me. Just wanna fuck you until you can’t remember you own name, until you’re begging me to stop.”

You grab the table in front of you and moan, other patrons be damned.

“Babe,” you whimper. “Stop, seriously.”

He laughs a little. “What? Can’t take the heat, should’ve expected this. In that dress? You know, I can’t tell what’s hotter, you in or you wi-”

You take a large drink from one of the glasses and turn to face him. You use your babysitting voice, the one you use with Peter when he pulls some dumb shit and no one has the courage to shame him. Damn Tony, doesn’t want to grow a spine and discipline Peter for fear of making him hate the man. “Steven Grant Rogers, I am on my period, and unless you want to beat your meat on the couch tonight, I’d recommend you cut it out.”

He’s stunned, a little. You snapping at him is extremely uncommon, you’re normally a total sweetheart with him (Who wouldn’t be?). Steve’s mouth hangs open a little as you turn back to face the crowd.

You engage with the rest of the Avengers who came - Sam, Tony, Pepper, and a few other people who you’d been wanting to talk to. A designer, some singers, a movie producer. You have lively conversations and Steve’s hand stays safely above your waist the whole time.

This time, it feels awkward. Not...sexual, like usual.

Now it’s just supportive, a way to tell you know he’s there. That’s it.

You feel bad, so bad. He was just telling you how attracted he was to you and you literally snapped at him like he was a petulant child! God, what’s wrong with you? Why were you so angry out of nowhere!

Oh, you’re in your period.

Right.

Once you’re too tired to stand in your heels, Steve moves you into the limo that’ll take you back to Stark tower. He holds your hand the entire way back, even carries your heels for you once you make it through the entrance.

He’s so amazing. And sweet. And kind. You want him to rearrange your guts.

You’ve been together long enough that he knows the minute you get into your shared apartment you want your dress unzipped so you can hunch over a take a deep breath. He guesses (correctly) that you need it undone even more so now that you’re bloated. When comes behind you to grab at it, you sigh.

“I’m so sorry for losing my self control earlier this evening...it’s just…”

You turn around, facing him. He looks so sad and you feel like you’ve kicked a puppy. Or stepped on a flower. Or thrown a fire blanket over the sun. Or slammed a baby’s hand in a car door.

In short, you’re a horrible person and all you want to do right now is cry dramatically surrounded by roses and candles. Or maybe while you stress eat banana bread.

“I’m so fucking horny when I’m on my period, and I’ve always just...I know guys find it so gross and frankly, I guess I unders-”

Steve tilts your chin up with his knuckles. It’s a sweet gesture, grounding. You stop talking, enchanted by his beautiful eyes. “I don’t find it gross at all.”

You gulp, remaining silent as he spoke. What?

“Let me fuck you, please. I find you so beautiful, and a natural and healthy body function isn’t going to change that.” The dress slips down your body and he first kisses down your chest, then your stomach, then lands on his knees right in front of your pussy. The dress, with its deep, wide neckline didn’t allow for a bra, so he skips right down to your panties. Menstruating had made your lips extra sensitive, so you told your stylist specifically to give you a simply black cotton panty.

Steve, someone who has seen you in much fancier, much more expensive, and/or much sexier lingerie, doesn’t seem to mind. He still pulls them down with his teeth, and massages your inner thighs. You want to look away so badly, so worried about what he’ll say when he finds the string of your tampon, or if he sees your more pronounced belly due to bloating.

When the panties hit the floor, you want to scream. Why is he doing this? Why does he find you sexy?

“Okay,” you finally get out. You immediately regret your response. Okay!? What was he asking you, what he was getting for dinner? You could at least say please!

You try to breathe, to calm down. But you can’t. You absolutely cannot calm the fuck down.

“Open your legs a little for me, babe,” he whispers. It’s low, calm. The kind of voice you’d use if you’re trying to pet a stray cat on the street. He’s trying to get your heart to stop racing, for your palms stop sweating.

You follow his orders, opening your knees a little bit, attempting to relax your muscles in the process. He coaxes the tampon string down from where you tucked it in, pulling it out slowly.

When he pulls it away, it’s a deep, ugly brown. Not earthy, or some deep coffee-like brown, or a beautiful oak in a desk at Ikea.

It’s gross. Just plain gross.

You wince a little at the sight, and he tosses it into the trash can under your desk.

“Now that we have that out of the way,” he inches his strong hands back up your legs, digging a little into the sore muscles.

Right before they can ghost your clit, you sigh.

“Wait,” you say. Steve hands stop and you close your eyes.

You can’t look at him, you’re so embarrassed.

But you want to do this, and you want to feel good while it happens. “Lean me against a wall, it feels better on my lower back if I have something to lean against...also I’m really sensitive right now, so going slow would be appreciated.”

Steve nods, standing up and pressing you into the closest wall. “Anything else, darling?”

He’s eye-level with you now, and fuck you love him so much.

You shake your head. “No...just, thank you...for this.”

He descends again and smiles. “Anything for you, my love.”

First he circles a thumb around your clit, inserting some of his middle finger into you. It feels so good, especially since you haven’t gotten off at all this week.

You blame it on being too busy, but you know why.

It’s never something you could understand, why you were always so ashamed of being on your period. Maybe it was societal influence, maybe it was because once a kid pulled a tampon out of your purse in high school and called you a she-demon, maybe it was because once your period started while having sex with your most recent ex-boyfriend and he called you a nasty bitch and then broke up with you...while you were both still naked.

Whatever it was, you knew three things:

One, you have the best boyfriend in the world.

Nope, scratch that, the universe.

Two, your boyfriend cares for you a lot and wants you to be happy.

Three, whatever he’s doing is incredibly erotic and you love it.

It’s absolute ecstasy, the way he pumps his fingers in and out of you in rhythm with circles around your clit. You knead your breasts and moan lewdly, and it only drives Steve to work harder.

When you cum, you cum hard. He fucks you through it with his fingers, smiling at the amount of pleasure coursing through your veins.

“Fuck,” you mumble. “That was so good.”

He chuckles. “Glad I could be of service.”

You laugh a little, running your hands through his hair. It’s thick, golden, warm. He’s like the sun.

You bite your lip, preparing to speak.

But he does so before you can. “Want to go to the bed?”

It’s sounds like such an innocent question, but you know better.

You nod, letting out a deep exhale. “Just be warned, changing my center of gravity is gonna...it’s gonna be weird...”

Steve laughs a little again. “Babe, I know what I’m getting into.”

He then picks you up and carries you to the bed. The second he lays you down, you start to feel that familiar feeling you can only describe as a stomach ache, but if it was also a waterfall.

The second you start to look how you feel, Steve becomes concerned.

“You okay?” he asks, eyeing you up and down to look for injury.

You squeeze your eyes together. “Yeah...just feeling weird.”

Steve laughs a little. His hands were stained with your blood, and since he had picked you up, smudged handprints riddled your body. You thought you might be disgusted, or he might be disgusted.

But it was beautiful, art. A painting made with you, by Steve, on you.

A masterpiece.

Steve seems to have the same thought. “Should draw this and sell it to that damned museum we were just at...hang it up for all the world to see just how beautiful you are…”

You think Steve is about to just fuck you, and you’re totally okay with that.

Not expecting to get fucked and then getting fucked is a wonderful surprise, one you welcome.

But then he kisses down your navel again, and lightly licks and nips at your clit.

The minitrations illicit loud and broken moans out of you. Your fingers fly to the back of his head, pulling him impossibly closer to you. His blood-stained hands hold you hips up, keeping them from bucking. It’s good, it’s so good.

He removes one, and begins to fuck his fingers in and out you. It’s good, your clit in his mouth, his fingers in your cunt.

You cum with a cry. If the first time made you see stars, this time you’re able to identify the Big Dipper. Before the orgasm was surprising, almost juvenile. It reminded you of getting fingered on the bleachers, or in a bathroom.

This one makes you feel like an adult. An actual, real life adult woman with actual, real life adult woman desires.

“Fuck,” is all you can muster.

Steve crawls up to you, resting part of his body on your chest, which is still heaving. He places a hand on your hip, his thumb rubbing supportively.

“Was hoping you’d say that,” he says, smiling. God, you want to hit him.

Not in a sexual way, though. Not right now, at least.

You groan a little at his gloating. He looks like a cheshire cat. “Shut up and fuck me, you insolent bastard.”

“Yes ma’am,” he says before positioning himself at your entrance.

Despite his sarcastic nature, he watches you for any sign of discomfort while he slowly enters you. It’s sweet, and sickeningly slow.

You moan, wrapping your legs around his waist to give him a better angle. This is exactly what you needed to make you feel less shitty, some good ole fuckin’ with your exceptionally attractive boyfriend.

By the end, you two are a moaning mess. You finish again, your hand on your clit and Steve kissing your neck. This time, the crystal clear pleasure is gone, and you feel like a giant fuzzy cloud of “holy fucking Jesus H Christ that was amazing.”

While your pussy pulses around him, Steve cums inside you. When he pulls out and collapses next to you, you’re finally clear-headed enough to take in the scene around you.

It looks like you should section off the bed with caution tape. Steve’s dick, hands, and face are absolutely covered in blood, as is the bed.

That’s when it hits you. White sheets. Deep red and brown clumps of your uterine lining. An absolutely perfect but sometimes forgetful boyfriend.

“Steve, babe?” you question, attempting to pry him away from the edge of sleep.

“Mmmrf,” is all he says, face down, head resting between your breasts.

“Did you forget to pull a towel down before we fucked?”

He lifts his head, smile sated. “Maybe.”

You sigh, and let his head fall back down. Finding a way to non-suspiciously change your blood sheets is a problem for tomorrow-you. Right-now-you just wants to run your fingers through Steve’s hair, his light snores filling your room and giving you something to fall asleep to.

“You know I’m gonna make you do this next time, too, right?” You ask, suddenly just as tired as Steve looks.

He nods a little, then turns his head so you can hear him. He kisses your breast before he speaks. “Of course, baby. Would do anything for you, especially when it comes you makin’ love to ya.”

You smile. “Good. Because after that, there’s no way I’m ever letting you go.”

Steve chuckles. “Ditto, babe.”