#goblin puppy studios

[goblinpuppystudios]

a new phone wallpaper !!

IG: goblinpuppystudios

[secret-diary-of-an-fa]

The Very Belated 2023 Awards!

Ha! I bet you fuckers thought I’d forgotten about the End of Year Round-up from 2023. Nope! I was just lulling you into a false sense of security. As though I’d miss the opportunity to take a massive, steaming shit on an entire year’s worth of human culture. So, what can we say about 2023? It definitely fucking happened, we know that much. But was it good? Was it bad? Was it a little bit of both? We know from my previous blogs that it produced some real cinematic and televisual gems, but are these a sign of culture self-correcting after the wilderness years or just aberrations bobbing about in the usual sea of viscous dreck? Well, 2023 is dead now, so if we want to find out, the only way is to split open its bloated carcass and start rummaging around in a bleak parody of the autopsy process. As always, I’ll be handing out gongs to things, artefacts and events from 2023 itself, but also just to shit I discovered in the relevant year. Here we fucking goooooooo!

The Birthday Cake Full of Puppies Award for Loveliest Surprise… … Goes, jointly, to Wild Blue Yonder and The Giggle, the two Doctor Who specials that weren’t the fucking Star Beast. See, after The Star Beast, I was thoroughly disappointed. A virtue-signalling, nonsensical mess that, while briefly entertaining, failed miserably to reach the giddy heights of Russel T. Davies’ initial run on the show and desperately needed a strong editorial hand to stop characters repeating themselves or needlessly referencing the hot pile of garbage that was the Chibnall era. I wasn’t expecting great things from the two follow-ups and only really watched them because I thought RTD had earned himself more than one chance to impress me. And whaddaya know? We got two fucking perfect Who episodes- one a big, genuinely unsettling slice of cosmic horror and one a bombastic, energetic extravaganza that resurrected a lot of fan-favourite characters, introduced a new threat for the upcoming Gatwa-era and just generally fucking rocked. Yes, I know the Xmas Special that followed was a bit crap (nautical-punk Goblins in Doctor Who? Piss off.), but it’s not fair to judge any season of Who on its associated Xmas Special, so we’re just going to let that slide.

The Throwing Keanu Reeves Down a Lot of Stairs Award… … Goes to John Wick 4, which threw Keanu Reeves down a lot of stairs. And was also a very good movie. But mainly this award is about the stairs.

The Blind Archer Award for Missing the Cocking Point… … Goes to the whole bloody stupid debate around A.I., which is broadly divided into two equally slappable camps. In the Soulless Silicone Silver corner, we have a bunch of hooting tech bros who think that they’ve invented a tool that obviates the need for talent and spirit and artistic vision because it (technically) allows any yeehaw with an internet connection to vomit out ill-conceived content ordered up from a computer terminal like the intellectual equivalent of an underwhelming drive-thru burger. Meanwhile, in the drippy, wishy-washy grey no-colour corner, we have a swarm of whiny, for-profit ‘creatives’ (and I use that word with enough sarcasm to fill an Olympic-sized swimming pool), terrified that their soulless, talentless content will be replaced by the equally soulless, talentless content of fucking Skynet, thereby doing them out of a revenue stream they don’t bloody deserve. Nobody seems to be talking about how the new technology can be leveraged to create actual, meaningful art, not just content. Case in point, I’ve always fancied creating a TV series or film, but I don’t know any actors and can’t afford to pay professionals, nor can I afford the filming equipment and green-screen studio rental I’d need to bring one of my sci-fi or fantasy concepts to life. AI allows for the creation of virtual environments and actors based on original ideas, sketches and descriptions plugged into machine-learning-guided rendering software. These can then be assembled using a human-provided script (mine, duh) to create footage which can be edited into something cogent and compelling. It’s a terrific amount of work involving a wildly steep learning curve, but it’s an example of how AI allows working class creators without the resources of our middle-class wanker peers a way into visual mediums that we simply haven’t been able to access or utilise. Incidentally, I hope to start uploading short films made using this method sometime in the next month or two. Pluuuuuuuug!

The Award for Special Services to Doom… … Goes to the impending collapse of AMOC (or Atlantic Meridional Overturning Circulation), which includes part of the Gulf Stream and several other important ocean currents. It’s due to cease functioning within the next 100 years due to man-made climate change, most probably by the year 2100, when many of us will still be alive (albeit old as balls). Once it goes, the northern hemisphere will become colder, making agriculture functionally impossible in parts of Europe; the ocean-level will rise up to a meter in some places, drowning many coastal cities; the wet and dry season of at least one rainforest will flip, with the result that said rainforest may die, unable to adapt quick enough, which would make climate change even more extreme. Basically, if you’re rooting for the collapse of civilisation in the not-too-distant future, you can start polishing your Mad Max cosplay outfits, because shit’s about to go doooooown, boi! I mean, unless governments actually listen to climate scientists for a change and somehow avert this looming catastrophe. Ha! Yeah. Dream on.

The Lex Luthor Award For Pure Fucking Evil... … Goes, once again, to the Tories, who are always evil, but seemed to make a special effort to ruin everything for everyone forever in 2023. Aside from engineering a decline in the NHS so severe that people with agonising mouth infections can’t access dentists at short notice, they also tried to pass a bill that would allow them to monitor the bank accounts of people on benefits as a matter of course and continued to allow the dumping of waste directly into the sea, turning the coast of Blackpool brown with human excrement (it was, of course, they who repealed the environmental protection laws that used to make this sort of thing illegal). You really couldn’t make these people up. It’s like someone drew the word ‘CUNT’ on a whiteboard and then got a whole room full of cunt-experts to make a mind-map around it. Then they loaded the results into ChatGPT and the result was the Tory Party of Great Britain.

The Confused Mountaineer Award for Picking the Wrong Hill to Die On… … Goes to Disney, which spent 2023 losing money hand over fist. Even when its films and telly shows technically made some money, they represented such a reduction in the value of the associated IP that the company might as well have time travelled into the future, stolen all its own shares, and flushed them down a giant toilet. Obviously, I hate Disney and I’ve always hated them- I didn’t just jump on the band-wagon when the Internet collectively realised they were a bunch of tossers. I’ve hated them steadily and continually for most of my life for the very simple reason that they use fucking slave-labour. Their merch is made in fucking sweat-shops! Which is why it’s particularly hilarious that their loss of relevance as a producer of culture owes so much to their flimsy pretence at wokeness (which manifested itself as a series of interchangeable, tedious girl-bosses photoshopped inexpertly into franchises like Star Wars and Marvel whose profitability largely came from grumpy nerds who were never going to fall for that shit). Shoulda stuck to making family films for people with very low expectations, Disno! It’s what you’re good at! And yes, this award does only exist so I can laugh at the slow death-by-a-thousand-cuts of some dipshits I dislike. It’s just so fucking dumb! Like, these are people who regard anyone from a developing nation as a disposable component in a big machine for making underwhelming crap- an interchangeable cog to be instrumentalised and dehumanised until death. And yet the hill they chose to fucking die on was pretending to give a shit about inclusivity. Yeah. Disney are real fucking inclusive… they want everyone to buy their ill-conceived swill, not just pasty, dick-owning Americans. Brilliantly, in their mad scrabble for new audiences, they seem to have lost the one they had… while utterly failing to convince anyone else to jump on board. Because, let’s be honest, if you want to watch a film about the black experience in the US or about smashing the patriarchy, you’re probably going to go to Jordan Peele or re-watch The Perfection (not just a great feminist film, by the way, but a fucking balls-to-the-wall brilliant film full stop). You’re probably not going to rely on a string of bland, cookie-cutter studios owned and operated by the arsewipes still desperately still trying to wring the last few pennies out of pissing Star Wars.

The Greatest Sentence I’ve Heard All Year Award… … Goes to my wife, who recently went to see that Barbie movie that people inexplicably decided to shove in the same bracket as Oppenheimer. I don’t really object to the existence of this flick in and of itself, because it’s not really taking anything away from me- it’s just not for me, and that’s fine. Obvs, I did think it was slightly icky that Matel were putting so much effort into re-framing their plastic Anorexia Generator as a feminist icon and it was super weird that the message it ultimately lands on is ‘sex-based oppression is fine if you gender-flip it’, but I don’t have to care so, for the most part, I don’t. I certainly didn’t have any problem with my missus taking her daughter from a previous relationship and her/our kinda-sorta adopted daughter to see it. Because I’m not a sack of shit who demands that other peoples tastes precisely match my own. However, I really didn’t like the hype around the movie. I don’t like brightly-coloured, disposable dreck that only exists to sell toys giving itself airs and graces, especially not when that means 1-for-1 comparisons to, say, a really important film about the invention of the nuclear bomb and the political scheming and manoeuvring that surrounded it. Which brings us to the Greatest Sentence I’ve Heard All Year. After returning home from her cinematic excursion, my wife had this to say about Barbie: “I don’t understand what all the fuss was about- it was a pile of shit, really.” Bonus points for the fact that she still quite enjoyed it and this wonderful piece of commentary was delivered, in musing tones, as an assessment of its objective merits rather than a statement of personal preference. I married the right woman.

The Circus Midget Genocide Award for Gratuitous Punching Down... … Goes to the song ‘What Have We Become’ by Paul Heaton, who I usually like. The Beautiful South are one of my favourite bands (despite the fact they no longer exist), but ‘What Have We Become’, one of Heaton’s subsequent solo efforts, makes me genuinely uncomfortable. In tackling the Americanisation of British culture (which I agree is a problem), Heaton seems to take aim as much at the ordinary folks on the receiving end of this neo-colonialism as at the phenomenon itself. I don’t think that whether or not something ‘punches down’ is a meaningful criticism relating to a cultural artefact’s artistic merit. Sometimes, it’s necessary to call out the bumbling normal on their slack-jawed bullshit. But this just feels mean-spirited and indiscriminate. Yeah, Heaton, people enjoy the convenience of US-style fast-food chains and, as a country, we’re probably a bit addicted to the cult of needless enthusiasm that started in the States, but I’ve never met anyone whose more of a miserable cunt for eating a takeout pizza while watching a happy-go-lucky comedy like My Name is Earl, so maybe get off your high horse for a minute. Your music’s great for the most part, but I think I can answer the question ‘What Have We Become?’ based purely on the song itself. A prick. You’ve become a prick.

The Pluggity McPlugface Aware for Most Exciting New Press… ... Goes to X Press, which is technically the new fiction imprint of Poetry Bus Press, I think. They’re still getting established and the name is subject to change, but I met the couple behind it at this year’s T.S. Elliot Prize and… er… okay, this is the bit where I have to admit I have a horse in this race. See, the reason I’m so excited by this new press getting off the ground is that I’m kinda the reason it exists. I pitched the publishers a sci-fi novel I had loaded and ready to fire off, not really expecting anything to come of it since they’ve only done poetry collections before. But hey, it’s not every day you meet someone in the publishing world while surrounded by gold-leafed rococo architecture and canapés, so I felt I had to go for it. Anyway, just a couple of months later, they’re putting together a whole new imprint and my novel, Warning: Infohazard is going to be first thing to roll out of it! So yeah… I’m chuffed about that. Stay tuned for further updates.

The Nick Clegg Award for Accomplishing the Square Root of Fuck All… … Goes to the AGA and WGA strikes that swept through Hollywood like a damp breeze this year. I’m usually on the side of striking workers, even when I’m being personally inconvenienced. Tell me the bus drivers are going on strike and, even if I need to catch a bus that day, I’ll pretty much root for them to win the battle- the poor fuckers are woefully underpaid for a tedious and demanding job. Teachers’ strike? Abso-fucking-lutely: these people work hard to ensure the next generation actually know things and deserve far more respect and accolades than they’re accorded (except the fuckers who worked at Marpool Primary during the 90s- those loathsome reptiles can choke on dick for all I care). NHS Doctors and nurses? Yup: they literally save lives and we, as a culture, still fail to give them their due. Dustbin men? Fuck yeah. Warehouse workers? Definitely (if anyone ever lets the poor fucks unionise). You get the idea. But I have my doubts about the Hollywood Writers and Actors Guilds mob. At the end of the day, even the working schlubs of Tinsel Town mostly deserve a thick ear more than a raise. We’re talking about people who drive past Skid Row (the most impoverished ghetto in the States, the lives of whose citizens they could actually improve) on their way to work, then get there and, as part of their social media management, tweet a load of shite about the Cause of the Week in order to look switched on and progressive. We’re talking about people who will do long-winded interviews about how important their casting or hiring is for the direction of our society while, two blocks away, a homeless dude overdoses on smack because it’s slightly quicker than starving to death.We’re talking about people who sold out their souls to a studio system that only wants and only seeks to produce derivative dreck when it was paying them well and only seem to have noticed it’s fucking them in the arse with a strap-on the size of the Empire State Building now that it’s no longer scattering coins in front of them. Of course, there are good, honest people working in La La Land who absolutely don’t deserve the fucking the studio system is giving them and who don’t walk around thinking they’re Zod’s Gift to the Enlightenment, and- for their sake- one slightly wants the strikes to succeed. The problem is that it’s very hard to spot them, obscured as they are by an ocean of absolute raging bell-ends. All of which is slightly by the by, because this award isn’t about whether the strikes deserve to succeed… it’s about the fact they made no appreciable difference to the media landscape of 2023 whatsoever. We still got Oppenheimer; we still got John Wick 4; we still got Luther: the Fallen Sun over on Netflix; we still got that unexpectedly fucking delightful Slumberland thing and a whole raft of really excellent, joyous family films; we still got some pretty ace telly. Basically, the only thing there seemed to be less of was absolute shit-swill, but it’d be a poor lookout for the strikers if that was their doing and not just a statistical anomaly. Imagine that on a placard: “We fucked off and culture improved by 150%!” So yeah: sorry WGA and AGA- as much as my socialist principles want any strike against a large, corrupt corporate system to succeed, you’re just not very sympathetic and you’ve done the square root of fuck all to help yourselves here.

The Special Award for Unbridled Excellence... … Goes to What We Do in the Shadows (the TV series- there was also a movie that was pretty good, but that came out ages ago). Technically, the telly series started in 2019, but it was still going in 2023 and that’s the year I finally got around to watching it, so I think I can justifiably slap it on this list. A mockumentary about three vampires, an energy vampire and a familiar flat-sharing on Staten Island, its one of the most hilarious, off-beat, filthy, brilliant things I’ve seen in years. It’s also surprisingly well-meaning and, mixed in with all the really, really funny jokes (which I’m not going to spoil), the violence and the gratuitous fucking, there are some genuinely sweet, heartfelt moments about found family, the bonds of love and friendship and the redemptive qualities that can sometimes surprise us in the darkest of people and places. I’m not saying it’s high art or anything like that- it’s as daft as a brush and any stab it takes at greater, more grandiose meaning is somewhat undercut by all the other shit that happens in it, but it is one of the most entertaining things on telly and deserves your attention. Just don’t tell the normals, they’ll only fucking ruin it like everything else. Let’s keep this one just for us freaks, okay?

The Smurf Viagra Award for Bluest Balls... … Goes to Dune: Part 2, which was supposed to come out in ‘23 and didn’t. Which is a shame because it the first part was a fucking banger. Maybe we could credit its delay to the writers’ and actors’ strike? I mean, that probably had nothing to do with it, but it’s important to boost the self-esteem of the simpler members of the international community. Great job, guys! You got one!

So that was 2023, then: a year of malice and incompetence just barely redeemed by a few shining cultural gems. Now we’re two months into 2024, and it’s time to look forward before we collide with a brick wall. Until next time, I’ve been Secret-Diary and you haven’t. Bye-bye.

[lathalea]

16 and 22 for ask game, please! 😊💖

Welcome to my salt mine @thespiritoflife *MWAHAHAHA* Thank you for your ask and I hope you won't regret my answers ;) And if you do, you know, there are plenty of pitchforks and torches, second isle on the left, here:

16. If you could change anything in the show, what would you change?

Obviously I'd do a Everybody Lives, No One Dies ending! Ah, wait, it's the AU of 50% of my fics lol

The Hobbit is a decent trilogy that with some TLC, more creative freedom for PJ and more time (I'm looking at you, studios) would have been a great trilogy. Alas... So, what would I do differently? - Leave AUJ as it is, unchanged, it's a beauty - More dwarf scenes - Less stupid CGI "video game" scenes (hello goblin town), more character interactions - Where is my scene with Thorin reminiscing the past in Rivendell with Bilbo and the fireflies? - More dwarf scenes - More Fili and Kili interacting with Thorin - More dwarf scenes (and I mean all the Company members, there's tons of material there!) - Why did you remove that scene with Thranduil foreshadowing the ending, Peter? - More dwarf scenes - Less rubber CGI elves fighting with Orcs - More dwarf scenes - Less pointless Laketown scenes the Master, we get it, he's bad and gross - More dwarf scenes - NO ALFRID, Peter, you lost like 20 minutes of the movie on showing silly Alfrid dressed as a woman instead of focusing on the real protagonists: dwarves! - A fleshed out relationship between Thranduil and Legolas (showing more of the strained relationship and angsty past) - Have I mentioned more dwarf scenes? - More in-depth scenes in Erebor and all the dwarves actually reacting to dragon sickness, sad Balin and angry Dwalin is not enough - I demand that Bofur storyline, why was it cut? We were robbed of more Bofur and Bilbo time! - We didn't need those sandworms, Peter, it's not Dune, for Mahal's sake - I demand flashbacks from the past of Erebor and more dwarves - Where is Dis and more dwarf-women? - BOTFA could have been cut in half, and you could have used it for actually fleshing out Kiliel (or skipping the silly love triangle altogether), or anything that actually shows character development - and, last but not least, because I think I forgot to mention it before, MORE DWARF SCENES! Thank you.

22. Popular character you hate? To be honest, I should say that I don't hate any of the popular characters, all of them have their merits (and flaws). But this is a salty reply to a salty ask, so...

Yes. Legolas. I hate what they did to him. And don't get me wrong - not the LOTR!Legolas, he was great there (besides, they're taking the hobbits to Isengard!), and Orlando Bloom is a wonderful actor, but the things the script and CGI did to this character in the Hobbit makes me a very sad puppy.

(Here. Me as a sad puppy.) Instead of a noble elf, we got: - some kind of a rubber Terminator that defies 90% of the laws of physics (srsly, it's way beyond elven nimbleness), making his feats unbelievable, and Legolas tends to look 399447826572685 times more awesome than his own father, a great warrior with thousands of years of experience, - a killstealer who took care of most of the important baddies instead of the dwarves (may I remind you that many dwarven badass fighting, like the chariot scene w Balin and Dwalin, were cut for no reason), wasn't this movie about a hobbit and a bunch of dwarves and not a showcase of elven fighting? Besides, we got Thrandy as a comparison of how elven badassery should look like in a believable way. I really dislike the notion of Legolas being able to win BOTFA singlehandedly (because that's how it looked, sadly), - the cursed love triangle (I'm so sorry for Evangeline Lily, would it be that bad if Legolas and Tauriel were just friends? yes, male/female friendship exists, movie people!), it doesn't really add to the story, it's just a weak reason to make Legolas leave Mirkwood and showoff in every scene that should have been focused on more important things. And hey, I could totally buy a romantic/dramatic storyline between Legolas and Tauriel, but then Kiliel should go (sorry). Either focus on Taurgolas or Kiliel and flesh it out properly! I mean, imagine LOTR where the focus moves from Frodo to that mother n Rohan sending her kids away on a horse, and the battle of Helm's Deep is won because the boy turned out to be a great fighter all of a sudden and 1h of the movie was devoted to showing how awesome he was. It's cool, but it isn't the main focus of the story! That's it, hope you enjoyed my salty rants 💙💙💙 >>> Salty asks <<<

[julies-butterflies]

So I was not sure what to expect when I saw your response to my ask but...oh my god. That had me grinning like an idiot.

Goblin owns my entire heart. Of course Reggie would use being a vampire to save puppies. He deserves a vampuppy! I too would like to give the creature of the night a tummy rub.

I read the "I didn't mean to!" line in Buffy Summer's voice, and then you followed up with Spike's line! That made me smile, love a good pangs reference :D

Luke being both a little shit and perpetually terrified of vampires is always so hilarious to read. Bobby...oh Bobby. Being jealous of a vampuppy...so on brand and I loved it. The image of Reggie smiling at Bobby holding the puppy was so precious.

I can't help but imagine that somewhere out there in your jatp au multiverse, Alex is being forced to deal with both Goblin and Keith Richards at once. I'm not sure who would be the most dangerous in that situation.

Also, your descriptions are just so wonderful? You turn the simplest moments into such vivid, striking images. It genuinely blows me away.

I didn't think I could smile wider, as I was reading this. Then the bats got involved and I nearly cried.

Just, bravo.

-Vampire Anon

ashshdjd, now we're going into lydiaverse lore!! goblin and keith richards would be mortal enemies, let's be honest --- every time luke was feeling threatened, he'd sic his ghost goose on the dog, and it would be a whole battle royale in the studio. not worth the damage to alex's nerves.

you're so wonderful, and so kind, and so sweet --- i'm so glad the story brought you a bit of joy, it was so much fun to write!! there are plenty more adventures vampire reggie could have ( imagine him learning more about his powers --- shapeshifting attempts gone wrong!! he keeps trying to hypnotize his friends into buying him snacks at the convenience store but they just roll their eyes like, "no reg, you don't need three boxes of fruit roll-ups"!! he's trying to read minds and keeps thinking he's got it because he knows what luke's thinking 24/7, but luke's brain has, like, three modes, and they're "music" "food" and "cuddle", so... he can't read minds, he's just a great bestie.

now i'm wondering, which is more chaotic --- geese goose au, or vampuppy au?

( and you got the buffy reference, i can't bELIEVE --- for that alone, i will have to marry you, sorry, i don't make the rules )

[loquaciousquark]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E82 (Oct. 29, 2019)

Good evening! There’s a lot to talk about tonight, so let’s hop right to it. Pre-roll: a couple of mini-figs of Taliesin & Sam.

Plus, tonight Dani Cam is replaced by Jerry Cam, who responds with an eloquent “I don’t know” when asked if we’re on the internet tonight. These goofballs. Tonight’s guests: Taliesin & Sam, as anticipated.

We open with a cold argument over which side of the couch Sam has ever sat on before. Eventually, we make our way around to tonight’s announcements: the new show Mini Primetime, hosted by Will Friedle, premieres on the YT channel tomorrow at 7:30 PST with Sam as the first guest. PubDraw will air with Marisha & Matt tomorrow at 5pm PST. Undeadwood episode 3 airs this week; Sam didn’t realize it was airing and Taliesin hasn’t seen it. These kids.

Finally, we get to Episode 82: The Beat of the Permaheart

CR Stats: again, briefly derailed by Sam’s heckling. BWF: “A lot of hard work goes into this show.” Sam: “It does not look like it.” This episode set an all time record of natural 20s with 15. Taliesin felt like they were making “so many bad decisions that hardly mattered.” There was a four-episode tie of 14 before, including episode 26. BWF asks Jerry what happened in episode 26. Jerry does not know. Poor Jerry. Cad has given out over 2400 points of healing, which is five times Laura’s healing as Jester, even though he’s only been on the show a quarter of the time. Sam is asked if he understands what a Battle Mercy is. He does not. Jerry does not know this either. Taliesin explains it to us all, including that the pistol does a surprising amount of damage. (Well, he calls it a pop gun. It works. It’s fine.) Nott keeps the lead with the most HDYWTDT’s with 14. “Nott does a lot of damage. She’s a powerful little lady.”

Clay doesn’t understand any of the unnatural life things in the HFB - clones, soul jars - it’s all beyond him. He understands lichdom, but the rest is beyond him aside from the idea of cloning - like, cloning a tree by planting a new branch or grafting trees together. He has not absorbed the science of anything beyond that. “Percy’s sitting in the back of my head in so many of these fights going ‘nope, nope, nope, nope.’“ Caduceus’s very excited about the giant mouth.

Sam is not upset that he wasn’t asked to be in Undeadwood. He understands if he were on it he would be the unmitigated star and the most handsome, instead of part of an ensemble. BWF explains it was mostly about the fact that “Sam was born with a black hole inside him that sucks the joy and community around him inside of him.” Sam: “You know, it’s fine! You don’t need ratings, so it’s fine.”

Jerry, softly: “Brian, we’re thirty minutes in.” I abruptly admire and love Jerry.

Sam really enjoyed playing a large character during the ape polymorph; in the moment, Nott wasn’t giving it a lot of thought, but it was something she’s very interested in exploring and it definitely left a bit of a mark.

Caduceus thought the dreadnought was a shortcut, and he liked the metaphorical aspect of gently surrendering to the “big giant death metaphor” that felt appropriately symbolic, until they actually did it and discovered the very real monster inside.

We are, again, derailed by a primetime TV-esque popup of Will Friedle’s face in the bottom right with a text rollout advertising Mini Primetime tomorrow. BWF is genuinely appalled & speechless and fires everyone.

As regards time flying, both of them feel certain Travelercon will not be allowed to happen without Jester. (That makes one of us...)

Neither of them know what Oban’s final plan is, which is part of why they’re so worried. Is he trying to overthrow something, attack something, is he just causing chaos? They just don’t know. Taliesin likes getting as much information as possible before the confrontation. Sam gives Matt credit: as frustrating as it can be not to have all the answers in this campaign, it’s also a little addictive.

Cosplay of the Week: @baneb1ade on twitter with a genderbent Keyleth. It looks heckin’ AWESOME and his beard is amazing.

Caduceus has noticed Caleb’s hunger for magical power but is treating him like a recovering addict: he’s giving him space and trying to give him some respect & room.

Nott would not have gone into the dreadnought if not pulled in. “I, Sam Riegel, did not want to go in there!” Nott does not walk into a place unless she knows she can get out of it.

Caduceus is a non-aggressive Luddite. He feels it’s aggressive & a bit silly, but not really a threat. You need resources to make technology, so why would technology usurp nature. He does occasionally get a little worried about Nott’s final goals in some of these things. Sam: Nott has two purposes, keeping herself alive and keeping Caleb alive.

A lot of Nott’s violence is goblin instinct; Sam notes that while the lines between Veth & Nott are blurring now, he doesn’t know how much of Veth is really left.

Fanart of the Week: @riquezadilla on twitter with an adorable Beau & Little Willy portrait.

Ha! Arsequeef facetimes in because his tiny picture has moved off the skull for Halloween. He also gives a quick reminder that Mini Primetime with Will Friedle airs tomorrow at 7:30 & it’s hilarious. BWF places the facetiming phone against the skull in replacement. How cute.

Caduceus liked the idea of Jester communing; it’s a weird god, but they can use all the help they can get.

Nott understands how many messages Jester has to message (”she has 12 GB a month”) and doesn’t feel the need to see her family again right now since they saw them so recently.

Caduceus is occasionally irked when Jester puts down the Wildmother, but mostly he’s pretty fine with everything she does.

If Nott could understand something Caleb couldn’t, it’s only because he passed on his knowledge to her as a good teacher & he was having an off night.

Taliesin has two backup characters ready to go in case something happens to Caduceus. However, they’re at the point where unless something disastrous happens, they should be good to go. His main thought was that they were about to waste a very expensive diamond.

Marisha comes to take a nap on their laps. It’s unbelievably heartwarming.

We are again derailed about a very excitingly told story about a puppy placed on top of the fine imported easily-scratched bar top over the weekend. Sam had to leave pilates class because his phone was blowing up & he thought the studio was on fire.

Sam was expecting a world of horrors & a portal inside the dreadnought. Taliesin thought it would be a big metal ship. Marisha thought it would be an interdimensional submarine.

BWF breaks character for a moment to really compliment Jerry on him painstakingly putting together every mini house seen on Undeadwood. It took him two weeks of solid work.

And we out. Have a lovely week, and is it Thursday yet?

[vintageseawitch]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the ask box of the last 10 people who rebblogged something from you. Get to know your mutuals and your followers ✨

Sorry it’s been a while since I’ve been properly on here! I hope you all like this (it’s very hard to decide on just five things, so here we go lol) (also please keep in mind this isn’t in some kind of favorite order or anything; it can go in any order since these are all pretty important to me):

1. Books. Collecting them, reading them (when I’m able to; I’m not always in a good head space to do so, especially this year). I love researching them, figuring out what else to read, what other editions of favorite stories to collect. I love coming up with different ways to display them. By author? Alphabetically? By genre? Who knows what my brain wants to do next lol. I have SO MANY FAVORITES and whenever someone asks me what my favorite book is I freeze and forget every single book I’ve read before lmao. I can’t just choose one!

2. My cats. I have four and live with three. Long story short, my first girl, a medium-haired tortie named Calypso, lives with my mom and I live with Panda (all black, short-haired), Mew (all black, medium-haired), and Maybelle (tabby and white, short-haired). Calypso doesn’t live with us because she does NOT like other cats lol she is very much her own woman. Panda is 13 and a grumpy, yet soft, old man who loves sitting in my lap. We just got Mew and Maybelle in July and Mew just does her own thing and Maybelle is neurotic af and had a rocky start with the other two so now neither of them really like her that much, but she adores my husband so now she acts like his puppy lol. Hopefully as time goes by this will get better! They’re all so sweet and adorable.

3. My husband. I know it’s cliche af, but he understands me more than my own family. We’ve had plenty of struggles; both of us are clearly neurodivergent; but it’s clear we’ll stick by each other through basically anything. I can talk to him and he’ll listen. Our privates jokes are silly. I repeat my favorite things over and over and over and over and he’s more than okay with that. Is the bar low for cis men? Quite often I believe it is. But he sees his issues and wants to work on them. He identifies them and talks to me. I love him dearly. We got married two years ago and bought a house together about eight months after that (we’ve been planning to do both for some time). We’ve been married for over two years and together for five. I want this to be a lifetime for both of us :)

4. Favorite aesthetic and nerdy things. This includes books as already mentioned; spooky, witchy, Halloween things and aesthetic; Nintendo, especially Animal Crossing, Mario, and Legend of Zelda games and merch; anime, especially slice of life, horror (supernatural horror is the best), certain sci-fi and fantasy, and comedy; Studio Ghibli and Sailor Moon are very important; I love soft cores like cottage core, forest core, faerie core, goblin core, grandma core, etc (like pics and fashion, etc); Ty Beanie Babies up until about 2008 (these new ones with the huge eyes just don’t hold the same magic for me, but I HAVE purchased a few of them, including a couple of red and black dragons that remind me of Ben Solo/Kylo Ren lol; it may have something to do with getting older/not liking change, but the Beanie Babies themselves just aren’t the same quality as 20 years ago; remember going to Hallmark and finding a beautiful selection? They smelled so good and it was fun seeing the variety); shows/series like Star Trek, Masterpiece Theatre, Foyle’s War, The Inspector Lynley Mysteries, Scooby-Doo (Where Are You? The New Scooby-Doo Movies, A Pup Named, and Mystery Incorporated are my top favs), Courage the Cowardly Dog, Bob’s Burgers, IT Crowd, Whose Line is it Anyway?, Buzzfeed Unsolved (supernatural is the best one lol), Unsolved Mysteries (the new Netflix series is very good, but I got a soft spot for the old Robert Stack episodes; hello, blaming drugs and Satanic cults on all the problems people dealt with in the 80s and 90s lmao), The Golden Girls, and any others I can’t think of right now; movies like Lord of the Rings (The Fellowship is the best to me) Jaws, the first three Jurassic Park films, The Mummy and The Mummy Returns (it’s not right without Imhotep or Rachel Weisz as Evey), The Conjuring universe films (I’ve enjoyed all of them so far), Sleepy Hollow, Paranormal Activity, Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, oh my goodness there are too many to list here!

5. Staying cozy on cold days. Bundled up under thick blankets while wearing a hoodie or sweater with a warm cuppa tea and a cat in my lap. I love black teas like English breakfast, and a wide variety of herbals especially fruity ones. Our house doesn’t have the best insulation and we both get cold fairly easily lol so staying warm is a top priority. Hopefully soon I’ll be in a better head space to read on top of all of this while staying warm. 

I hope you all liked this! It was a long read, but I’m better at letting all of my thoughts out like this instead of short bursts like a tweet, no matter how addicting Twitter is lolol. Thanks for reading, and the ask! ^_^

[itscoolanimelove-blog]

The Best Anime of 2020 (So Far)

It's a huge year for anime titles. 'Keep Your Hands off Eizouken!' were proper to long-time anime lovers and freshmen alike. Over the path of the past decade, simulcasting and online streaming offerings which include Netflix, Crunchyroll, Amazon Prime, and Hulu reshaped the character of the medium in each diffused and top notch approaches, transforming how anime lovers observed, shared, and celebrated the shows and films they loved. Japanese animation is a stronger medium now than at any other time in its life, and from the appears of what 2020 has to provide, matters are only going to get higher. Do see: Watch anime online free

Otaku and anime freshmen have lots to look ahead to this 12 months, with not most effective one but two new suggests from Masaaki Yuasa, the long-awaited release of studio Orange's Beastars inside the West, the exceedingly-anticipated most effective of Toonami's adaptation of Junji Ito's nightmarish Uzumaki, and a new CG installment inside the Ghost inside the Shell: Stand Alone Complex collection from Netflix. Not to say an entire host of returning fan-favorites with new seasons of Fire Force, Fruits Basket, The Promised Neverland, and the very last season Attack on Titan at the horizon. But till then, here are our favorites of the 12 months to date.

Want even MORE anime? Don't sleep on our favorites from last yr, and our favorites from the entire decade.

Darwin's sport NEXUS nine. Darwin's Game Release date: January three Director: Yoshinobu Tokumoto Animation manufacturing: Nexus If you have been to pass Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman's adrenaline-charged social thriller Nerve with the mystery-driven extremely-violence of Hiroya Oku's Gantz, it would in all likelihood look something like Darwin's Game. Based on artist "Ginko" and author Yuki Takahata's manga of the identical call, the anime centers on 17-12 months-old Kaname Sudo, who, after accepting an mysterious invite from a currently deceased friend, is thrust right into a lethal supernatural bloodsport regarded only as Darwin's Game. Pitted against a cadre of sociopaths and without a way to are trying to find assist from the out of doors global, Kaname have to depend upon his wits and could to continue to exist at the same time as trying to find a means to escape this dwelling nightmare. Produced by studio Nexus, the eleven-episode collection is penned entirely by way of series author Yuki Takahata, ensuing in an version that is a close to one-to-one suit with the source fabric. If you're seeking out a taut movement collection with critical mystery drama, Darwin's Game is a strong choice. Available on:Crunchyroll, Funimation

puppy anime GENO STUDIO 8. Pet Release date: January 6 Director: Takahiro Omori Animation production: Geno Studio Pet is a real mindscrew, in extra ways than one. Based on Ranjo Miyake's manga of the equal call, the series follows Tsukasa and Hitomi,  empaths with the capacity to delve in the minds of others and manipulate their recollections and perceptions. Employed by way of a shadowy company acknowledged actually as "The Company," the pair are tasked with the usage of their capabilities to cover up crimes, assassinations, and dedicate all kinds of unsavory acts, more often than no longer at the expense of harmless lives and their own fractured psyches. The speak may be frustratingly obtuse at instances, with crucial terms like "peaks" and "valleys" thrown out of left area with little if any formal clarification, and the initial episodes can be a piece tough to follow with regard to what is being visible or perceived with the aid of whom at any given moment. Hang in there, though -- it's a story that progressively makes greater sense the longer it is going on and rewards the nearer you pay attention. And barring even that, it's nevertheless really worth a look ahead to the psychedelic visuals on my own. Think of it as a greater freakish take on Christopher Nolan's Inception by way of way of Philip K. Dick's Ubik. Available on:Amazon Prime

somali and the forest spirit SATELIGHT 7. Somali and the Forest Spirit Release date: January nine Director: Kenji Yasuda Animation manufacturing: Satelight If your tastes veer greater towards the whimsical fare of Studio Ghibli than explicitly movement-oriented titles, Somali and the Forest Spirit is a great choice. Set in a global of magic and sorcery populated by using spirits, goblins, and all styles of creatures, the collection follows the adventure of a wooded area-shielding golem and their companion, a precocious baby named Somali. Together, the two embark on a look for a domestic for Somali most of the last of the humans, a race of beings formerly thought to were persecuted and hunted to the edge of extinction ages ago. Think Alphonse and Edward Elric from Fullmetal Alchemist, however as opposed to two brothers searching for the truth seeker's stone to repair their bodies, it is a father determine and their adoptive ward searching for safety and safety in a global of dangers at every flip. With great backgrounds, disarming humor, and a story with proper emotional pull, Somali and the Forest Spirit is a spirited myth of parenthood and love located inside the maximum unlikely of circumstances. Available on:Crunchyroll

in/spectre BRAIN'S BASE 6. In/Spectre Release date: January 11 Director: Keiji Gotoh Animation production: Brain’s Base Supernatural thriller collection are a dime a dozen in terms of anime, so it’s refreshing when one comes along that has as exciting a premise and character as In/Spectre. Based on Kyo Shirodaira’s novel collection, In/Spectre follows 15-12 months-antique Iwanaga Kotoko, a university pupil who four years prior to the collection’s start become anointed because the "Goddess of Wisdom" of the spirit global at the fee of her left leg and proper eye. Acting as an intermediary between the human and spirit world, Kotoko is tasked with fixing disputes and discrepancies among the 2. There’s just one problem: Kuro Sakuragawa, Kotoko’s speedy-made partner and boyfriend, is a noticeably fearsome entity with mysterious powers that strike worry within the spirits who Kotoko is charged with protecting. A serial mystery crossed with an abnormal-couple rom-com that sometimes pokes at the fourth wall, In/Spectre is a gorgeously animated series with a laugh twists, delightful characters, and engrossing cases that'll hold you hooked to the stop. Available on: Crunchyroll, HBO Max

tower of god CRUNCHYROLL five. Tower of God Release date: April 1 Director: Takashi Sano Animation production: Telecom Animation Film Tower of God has been one of the maximum talked-about new collection of 2020, and for precise reason. A collaboration among Crunchyroll and digital comedian publisher Webtoon, the series is an anime version of the online 'manhwa' (Korean for 'comic') via artist S.I.U. And the contemporary in Crunchyroll's recent push into producing its very own unique anime content material. The series follows Bam, an amnesiac adolescents who's mysteriously teleported into the eponymous Tower of God, a metaphysical structure that apparently encompasses the complete world and is designed to bestow mammoth powers upon the ones capable of reaching its heights. On his journey to attain the tower's peak in search of his loved friend Rachel, Bam should surround himself with allies in order to triumph over the Tower's deadly trials and even deadlier adversaries. A gorgeous fable-journey with wealthy characters, dense mythology, and delightful animation, Tower of God will satisfy all people hungry for a brand new shonen series to binge. Available on:Crunchyroll

kayuga-sama season 2 A-1 PICTURES 4. Kaguya-sama: Love is War (Season 2) Release date: April 11 Director: Mamoru Hatakeyama Animation production: A-1 Pictures Student council president Miyuki Shirogane and vice chairman Kaguya Shinomiya go back for every other season of machiavellian shenanigans and romantic hijinks! The first season of Kaguya-sama: Love is War become one in all last year’s standout new collection, a devious and hilarious twist on the conventional ‘will-they-gained’t-they’ components of excessive faculty rom-com anime. Season 2 has even extra within the way of lovestruck mishaps between Miyuki and Kaguya, as well as more time spotlighting vintage and new breakout favorites consisting of the Kaguya's hyper-capable assistant Ai Hayasaki and Miyuki’s icy cool sister Kei. And better, the second one season is just self-contained enough that viewers new to the collection should pop in to watch this one without lacking a beat. Kaguya-sama: Love is War is uproariously hilarious, stylistically inventive, and easily one of the great anime rom-coms to pop out this yr. Available on:Funimation

dorohedoro MAPPA three. Dorohedoro Release date: May 28 Director: Yuichiro Hayashi Animation production: MAPPA Based on Q Hayashida’s cult darkish fable sci-fi manga of the identical name, Dorohedoro is set inside the Hole, a harsh derelict city populated by humans and an ever-increasing number of unfortunate souls transformed into chimeric monstrosities with the aid of malicious sorcerers from another measurement. The series follows Caiman, an amnesiac bounty hunter and his great friend Nikaido as they scour the depths of the Hole searching for the sorcerer who cursed him with a lizard’s head. Oh yeah, he’s additionally were given a sentient human head in the back of his throat that pops up Xenomorph-fashion every time Caiman swallows his prey to search for the perpetrator. It best gets more bizarre from there. Packed to the brim with gnarly violence, leather-based-clad weirdos, pitch-black humor, and a number moments of mild-hearted levity, Dorohedoro is a darkish and wonderful hybrid-CG anime that mixes dystopian frame-horror and slice-of-life comedy to make for one of the maximum thrilling and precise new collection to come out in 2020. Available on:Netflix

beastars ORANGE 2. Beastars Release date: March thirteen Director: Shinichi Matsumi Animation production: Orange Set in a global of anthropomorphic animals, Beastars is the story of Legoshi, a benevolent if dour young lupine who crosses paths with Haru, an emotionally aloof and promiscuous dwarf rabbit, through serendipitous circumstances and starts to broaden complicated feelings for her. Legoshi's primal and emotional awakening is exacerbated through his status as a carnivore, forcing him to confront the terrifying query of whether or not what he feels for Haru is simply his instinctual urge to seek and kill, or some thing more. From a technical and creative viewpoint, everything about Beastars is masterful. From its without a doubt nuanced depiction of a society frayed among one of a kind competing castes of carnivores and herbivores, to its inspired feel of composition and lighting, Beastars is an absurd, terrifying, horny, and heartfelt anime that stands head and shoulders above the %. Available on: Netflix

hold your hands off eizouken SCIENCE SARU 1. Keep your Hands off Eizouken! Release date: January five Director: Masaaki Yuasa Animation manufacturing: Science Saru Based on Sumito Owara's manga series of the equal call, Keep Your Hands off Eizouken! Follows high schooler Midori and her pals Sayaka and Tsubame as they attempt to set up an anime club on their faculty's campus and convey their very own animated film. What follows is a wild odyssey of the highs and lows of attempting to break into animation, the type of comedic and disarmingly earnest portrayal of youthful ambition within the face of competition, and inexperience that reaffirms why you fell in love with anime within the first location.

Conclusion:

Brimming with meticulous nods to a number of the medium's best creators and a mischievously meta experience of creativity that'll have even the most stone-confronted of visitors grinning ear to ear, it's the kind of show you could simplest anticipate from the likes of Masaaki Yuasa (Devilman Crybaby, Ping Pong the Animation, and many others.) and the crew in the back of Science Saru. Top that with an infectiously trippy identify topic and score courtesy of rap duo chelmico and experimental manufacturer Oorutaichi and you've got one of the maximum memorable and hilarious anime of the 12 months.

[yoon-kooks]

Blossom🌸

Pairing: Stripper!Jimin x Reader

Genre: Stripper!AU, College!AU, Fluff

Summary: You infiltrate your local strip club to gather research and inspiration for your next painting and end up bringing home a stripper who also happens to be your cute neighbor.

Warnings: stripping, mentions of sex 

Word Count: 3.3k 

⤐ Story 1 in the Blossom!Universe; Read Blossom-pt.2 on my masterlist!

A/N: i know what yall are thinking!!! this is a stripper!au without smut??? but theres a good chance ill be writing more drabbles in this universe so look out for those!🌸

“Cute.” Your studio arts professor hands you back your print sample of a swimming platypus.

“…Is it not good?” You examine the print again to see where you went wrong. If anything, you thought this painting had turned out a lot better than the one of a goblin shark.

“Y/N, it’s amazing. It really is,” she tries to reassure you with a chuckle, but you know there’s something wrong with it. “It’s just… you’ve practically drawn the entire animal kingdom this semester.”

“…and?”

“Don’t you think you should try painting something else…? Like, I don’t know… a human?”

“But I’m more comfortable with animals.”

“That’s what I mean! You should try stepping out of your comfort zone? Plus, your portfolio will look better with more of a variety!”

“And how do you suppose I all of a sudden get inspiration for painting a human subject? I need something before the exhibition tomorrow.”

“I don’t know, try going to a strip club or something?” Your professor thinks she’s funny. “Just be creative!”

-

You lay on the floor of your dorm, desperately searching for inspiration. With animals and nature, it’s so easy for you to just sit down and paint whatever comes to mind. But with humans? You don’t even know where to start, and it certainly doesn’t help your concentration when a puppy is barking on the other side of the wall like it’s begging for you to draw it.

And in addition to the barking, you’re also being harassed by the constant replaying of your professor’s advice. Sure, you’d like to paint something that your professor and peers will approve of, but that becomes awfully difficult when what they want is not what you want. You just wish you could paint another animal and be done. But now even that’s impossible when all you can think about is trying to make everyone else satisfied.

“Shit.” You drag yourself off the floor, thrown on a fuzzy sweater, and walk out of your dorm with a sketchbook and pencil.

To your surprise, sneaking into a strip club undetected is a lot easier than one would think. And once you’re in, you squeeze your way through the crowd, inspecting the flashy lights, the booming stereos, and the big stage until you spot a table for one in a secluded corner. Perfect. No one will bother you there.

When the main show starts, the first thing you do is flip open your sketchbook with your pencil ready to draw. The second thing you do, however, is yawn. You aren’t sure what people enjoy about strangers prancing around naked on stage, but it could just be an acquired taste. Although the strippers are attractive and they have beautiful bodies, you’re just not interested nor inspired. Maybe it’s your artist block acting up, but it seems you’ve wasted your time.

Before you can get up to leave the club, you’re alarmed by a sudden eruption of screams. Giving it one last chance, you glance up and see the spotlight on an incredibly handsome boy in all white, running his fingers through his dark hair. Still fully clothed, he dances, moves, spins on stage, and somehow it’s so different from the previous acts. So much that you forget where you are until he flips his jacket off his shoulders and tosses it aside as he continues to dance.

The way he graces the stage is elegant and almost angelic. You flip your sketchbook back open and wait for the demon to show itself. He makes his way down the catwalk to engage more with the crowd, and money’s already being thrown before his body’s even exposed. Once he loses his tank, however, the cheering gets twice as loud and the stage is showered with crumpled bills. But you don’t have time to worry about that.

For the first time that night, your pencil starts gliding across the page in your sketchbook. You roughly sketch out his body, his motions, his movements, his smirks. You’re too busy drawing to notice when he catches a glimpse of you as he kicks his pants off to reveal a very healthy ass, or when he teases several customers with his rolls and thrusts.

With several pages filled with new sketches, you hear the collective aww from the crowd, assuming that means the handsome boy is done for the night. The only one in the crowd who isn’t sad is you, because you finally collected all the research material you need to be inspired. And before you leave, you decide to flesh out the details of what you witnessed, in case the vivid images and inspiration escape you before returning home.

“Would you like a drink or a dance, Baby?” A stripper with pastel mint hair eyes you up and down, leaning against the table with his head cocked to the side. You’re shocked he even bothered approaching you when you didn’t tip at all. Unless that’s what he’s after.

“Uhh, no thanks, I was actually just on my way out,” you throw your sketchbook and pencil into your bag and get up to leave.

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that, Sweetheart. Did you not enjoy your stay? Maybe I could change that.” The stripper continues to pester you, and you wonder if the smallest tip will help you escape.

“This one’s with me, Sugar.” An unknown voice appears behind you as the stripper named Sugar shrugs and walks over to another customer waving their money around.

With a sigh of relief, you turn around, only to have your heart racing again in an instant. It’s the handsome boy you had sketched. Only instead of wearing an all-white costume, he’s now engulfed in an oversized black hoodie. You assume he’s off duty, so you aren’t sure why he’s approaching you like the other stripper had.

“Are you the freeloader everyone’s talking about?” he asks you.

“I suppose I am…” You look around and realize you’re probably the only broke college kid at the club, hence the only one who can’t afford to throw money around for lap dances.

“Can you at least show me your sketches?”

“What.”

“I saw you drawing something in your sketchbook during my performance earlier,” he does a cute little drawing gesture with his hand. “If you aren’t going to tip anything, the least you can do is show me what you drew.”

You suppose he’s right. Besides, you really do appreciate it when people take interest in your art, so you hand him your sacred sketchbook and watch as his expression changes from curious to awe.

“Are you an art student?” he asks while flipping through the quick sketches of his body.

“Yeah, I was just gathering research for a painting I need to do for tomorrow’s exhibition.”

“Oh? And I’m your muse?” He hands you back your sketchbook and catches a glimpse of your name written in the corner of the cover. “Y/N?”

You nod, getting your pencil ready to jot something down.” And may I ask what my muse’s name is?”

“It’s Jimin, part-time stripper, full-time dance student.”

“Wait, you’re a student, too?” You know you shouldn’t be surprised because the boy does look around your age, but still. You didn’t realize strippers had time for school obligations on top of work. “Which school?”

“Seoul Institute of the Arts.” No. That can’t be. There’s no way this handsome stripper goes to the same school as you. “Why do you look so shocked…?”

“I go there, too…” You shrink your body as if that’ll help you hide. You’re suddenly feeling super shy. “But you don’t happen to live in the dorms, do you…?”

“I do… Do you…?”

You nod.

-

“So what you’re trying to say is, we’re neighbors?” Jimin says as he stands outside his dorm, room 324, and you stand outside of yours, 325.

“I guess-” You’re cut off by a cute bark. “That’s your puppy making all the noise then?”

“Uh, yeah… I got her a week ago after saving up enough from work,” he opens the door and a tiny white fluff ball stretches its body in the door way before trotting over to greet you. You squat down to say hi to the little puppy who gives you her paw. “But anyway, the whole stripper thing needs to stay between you and me, yeah?”

Of course you have no intentions of letting people know you infiltrated a strip club anyway, so that means you also can’t be telling them your neighbor is a secret stripper. But Jimin doesn’t know that, and you’re going to use that to your advantage. “Okay, yeah, I won’t tell anyone… as long as you agree to be my model for the rest of the night.” You open your door and gesture for him to come in.

Jimin scoops up the feisty puppy and tucks it comfortably under his arm. “I thought I already was your model?”

“All you have to do is pose for me for a few hours,” you say, leading the stripper into your dorm-turned studio.

“Naked?”

“Shirtless is fine.” Anything more than that would be far too much for your eyes. You pretend not to peek as he promptly removes his hoodie and t-shirt to reveal a picture-perfect torso and something you didn’t catch as the club. You tilt your head to get a better look at the word inked to his ribs. Blossom. “Is that the name a stripper girl you’re in love with?”

“For your information, Blossom is the name of that little one over there,” he points over to where his puppy is trying to dig a hole into your pillow before brushing his fingers over his tattoo. “But, it’s also just a reminder to myself.”

You nod, “Ooh, fascinating…” Once all of your art supplies are set up on your cluttered desk, you glance up at the clock on the wall. Midnight already. “I’ll keep that in mind for my painting.”

The boy has a lot of good poses, some suggestive, others charming. One second he’ll be licking his lips with his hands at his belt, and the next he’s laying on your bed while running his fingers through his hair. Oh, and he also has this really cute smile when he’s watching you be so immersed in your art.

Once you decide on a pose to paint (the one on his back with the fingers running through his hair!), you hop off your chair and walk over to the half-naked boy on your bed. He blinks up at you with either innocent eyes or inviting eyes—you aren’t really good at telling the difference. You don’t know what he was expecting, but his face looks awfully surprised when you extend your phone for him to take.

“Can you take a pic of yourself in That™ position?” You do the fingers-running-through-hair thing.

“You don’t want to take the picture yourself?”

You shake your head.

“You don’t want to get on top of me and see with your own eyes?”

You shake your head again. He chuckles as he sits up, doing the fingers-running-through-hair thing a couple of times. Must be a habit. You didn’t notice the fifty other times he did the hair thing, but this time you’re made aware of his cherry blossom cologne, its alluring scent trying to pull you closer. But you know to keep a distance.

“You’re no fun to flirt with, you know that?” It almost looks like he pouts before finally taking your phone and tossing himself back against your mattress.

“I’m a lot flirtier when I don’t have a project due in less than ten hours.”

“Really?”

“No.” Your answer makes him frown, but he takes the selfies you asked for anyway.

You watch your bed sheets wrinkle with every sensual movement of the boy’s body as he finds the best angle for your research photos. Not only does he adjust the positioning of his head and arm, but also his squirmy lower half with his waist where his underwear is peeking out and his legs unable to keep still. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he was frustrated, needy, and a tad bit horny.

As you wait for him to finish, you start mapping out your painting with a rough outline. You lightly sketch Jimin down to his waist and surround him with-

“Done~” the boy yawns, handing you back your phone. Eager, you swipe through the 37 photos taken by Park Jimin, all of which have an overwhelming amount of sex appeal. You don’t know how you’re going to narrow it down, though you suppose the one he set as your lockscreen is the best in his humble opinion. And it has a perfect view of his tattoo.

You feel Jimin’s eyes on you as you painting. The sensation of being observed is oddly comforting rather than pressuring, and maybe it’s because you know it’s not with judging eyes. From your bed, he follows your paintbrush’s every stroke against the canvas as you fill it in with a splash of color, bringing your subject into bloom.

“What made you choose me specifically to be your model?” the boy asks as you’re defining his abs.

You pause your painting for a moment to think about his question. “I don’t usually use people as subjects for my art, but my professor suggested that I step out of my comfort zone.”

“So you went to a strip club and surrounded yourself with naked people?”

“Exactly,” you nod and continue, “I took a chance, went to a strip club for the first and last time in my life, and met a boy. And out of all the humans in the world, he was the first to lend me inspiration.”

“I can’t believe you found inspiration in someone who sells their body for money,” Jimin chuckles but his words bother you.

“I know I’m literally painting your abs right now, but believe me when I say I took more inspiration from you than just from your body.”

“Well I’m glad,” he says, rubbing his toned belly. You’re still not convinced.

“Do you not like being a stripper?”

“I don’t hate it, and the performer in me really does enjoy being on stage. Plus, it pays for my puppy,” Jimin sighs because he knows you’re not going to let it go until you get a proper answer. “But there’s always this feeling of being trapped in a bud of expectation and insecurity. As long as I’m a stripper, my body will always outshine my dancing. And yet, I can’t bring myself to quit, in fear of not being a good enough dancer for anything else.”

You can only nod because you don’t know how to offer support. The boy sounds a lot less confident now than how you remember him dancing on stage. But you get it. Taking that first step out of your comfort zone is as scary as that painting you did of the goblin shark. But that’s the only way you’ll ever blossom.

After several hours of endless painting and the occasional puppy whining in her sleep, you rise like a zombie from your desk to show your muse the final product of your blood, sweat, and tears. But of course he’s already fast asleep on your bed with his puppy at ass o’clock.

Not wanting to disturb the two cuties, you carefully pull the covers over them, make a nice bed for yourself on the carpet with three spare blankets, and turn out the lights.

When you wake up, however, you smell cherry blossoms and feel something warm pressed up against your back. Thankfully, what you find when you roll over on the bed is not a sleeping Jimin, but instead a puppy licking her butt. As soon as she realizes her privacy’s been violated, she wags her tail and does some morning stretches.

You flip the covers and bed sheets over in search of a half-naked boy, but he’s not there. Instead, you see him all bundled up in his black hoodie and the three blankets you’d been using on the floor. Somehow the two of you mysteriously swapped places. You can only assume he woke up in the middle of the night and tucked you into bed. Because coincidences like that don’t just happen.

Relieved from everything, you take time to play with the puppy on your bed for a bit before you have to get ready and leave for the exhibition. The little one explores the dark depths beneath your bed sheet, her cold wet nose sniffing everything including your exposed legs, until her fluffy head finally pops back out with a tiny bark.

You’re startled by half-asleep mumbles and rustling blankets. Jimin sits up as his hood falls down to reveal a wicked bedhead. He tousles his hair around and you can’t decide whether it looks messy or really fucking hot—like he just had a quickie. “Did you finish your painting?” He blinks at you.

“Oh right.” You stop yourself from any sort of fantasizing and hop off the bed to grab the colorful canvas from your desk. Once it’s in the hands of the boy at the center of the painting, you plop down next to him on the blankets and wait for his response.

Before saying a word, Jimin’s eyes examine every inch of the canvas. From the pastel palette, to the boy’s fingers-running-through-hair pose, to the pink bed of flowers beneath him and petals around him, to the bold tattoo on his ribs.

“Are you calling me a flower boy?” He’s unable to hold back a smile creeping up.

“You’re the one with the tattoo,” you say, softly poking the boy’s ribs through his hoodie. “So you tell me.”

He shakes his head, “I still have a long way to go before I, you know, blossom…” You find it adorable how he cringes and shrinks his body at his own word. “But until then, I’ve found another flower to inspire me.” He’s totally talking about you.

“You mean your puppy?” you tease him, picking up the curious white pupper and tapping her wet nose against the boy’s cheek. He plants a soft kiss on her little head before taking her into his lap where she quickly curls up in a ball.

“Yeah her,” Jimin continues to stroke his baby’s fur as her eyelids grow heavier. It isn’t long before the precious bean is fast asleep, and your heart melts a little.

“I was pleasantly surprised to wake up back in my bed with her all cozied up next to me,” you reach over to pet the puppy even though it’s right at the boy’s crotch. “You didn’t have to do that, you know… But I appreciate it, Jimin.”

“No problem, Little One,” he gives you a cute duck face. “I’d want to make sure I have your permission before we sleep together anyway.”

You suppose that’s his way of asking for sex, but you really can’t take a hint. So you ignore him. “Do you want to come to the exhibition with me?”

A little disappointed that you ignored his invitation, Jimin sulks and grabs his duffle bag as he walks towards the bathroom, “Fine, but let me change into clean clothes first.”

“You’re fine with stripping down at a crowded club, but not in front of me?” you ask, not because you want to see it again, but because it’s ironic.

After pausing mid-step, he spins around and stands right before you, his beautiful dark eyes meeting yours. And rather than running his fingers through his own hair for the fiftieth time, he runs them through yours for the first. “Maybe I’m not a stripper when I’m with you.”

“Then what are you? A vampire?” you look up at him with a teasing grin.

“You’re impossible, you know that?” The boy shakes his head and does a cute little eye roll to pretend like he’s annoyed as he walks off to the bathroom. And when he comes back in a very casual boyfriend look, the two of you head over to the exhibition on campus with the painting tucked under your arm.

[doomedandstoned]

Green Lung Renew Connection to the Earth in ‘Woodland Rites’

~Doomed & Stoned Debuts~

London powerhouse-and-a-half GREEN LUNG are back, just one year after capturing the affections of listeners with the Doom Charts-ranking EP, 'Free The Witch' (2018). Their debut LP, 'Woodland Rites' (2019), shows us the London act's true powers, now a five-member strong team with Tom Templar leading the charge on vocals, Scott Masson on guitar, Andrew Cave on bass, Matt Wiseman on Drums, and John Wright on the organ.

"We've been leading up to the themes of Woodland Rites," the band tells me, "since our very first demo Green Man Rising. It's an eight track heavy-psych LP inspired by folk horror and the sense of the uncanny that pervades parts of the British countryside, in the tradition of proto-metal bands like Black Widow, Comus and Coven. Lyrics explore everything from old British folklore like 'Bella in the wych elm' to the Blind Dead movies, and while the emphasis is on heavy psych, wider musical influences are bubbling in the mix, from NWOBHM to Goth rock."

For whatever reason, Green Lung's first record didn't connect with me quite as powerfully as the effort before us. Blending elements of doom, occult rock, and NWOBHM, Woodland Rites is an extraordinarily thoughtful metal record, enhanced by an organ here, vocal harmonies there, singing dual guitars at another crucial moment. Say what you will, Green Lung know how to work their way to a climax! I also loved the way one song lends itself so naturally to another. At times, I had to check to see if I was listening to a B-section of an early section, like some kind of Queen-esque ballade that continues to surprise with unfolding dimensions. The net result was that I was never tempted to leave the record or to skip around to different tracks.

Photograph by Sally Patti

And now we come to the song before us, receiving its worldwide premiere via Doomed & Stoned. "Call of the Coven," Green Lung tells us, "was the last song we wrote for the album, and probably the one that came together quickest. It's a love letter to Blood on Satan's Claw. Fans of the movie will notice that the chorus lyrics reference the chant in the central woodland ritual scene. The song has one of my favourite of Scott's solos on the album and a galloping NWOBHM feel that reminds me of the band Witchfinder General, but I've gender-flipped the lyrics so that instead of getting hunted, the witches are doing the hunting. Green Lung is a pro-witch band!"

I've already tagged this one for me to revisit when Doomed & Stoned considers the Heavy Best of 2019. This is exceptional in every way. Look for Woodland Rites to drop via Kozmik Artifactz on March 20th (pre-order here).

Give ear...

Woodland Rites by GREEN LUNG

Some Buzz

South London-based heavy rock quintet Green Lung have announced details of their debut album. 'Woodland Rites' (2019) will be released on heavyweight vinyl, CD, cassette and digital editions on March 20, the Spring Equinox. The band captured the attention of the international underground in 2018 with the release of their much acclaimed EP, 'Free the Witch,' and spent the year sharing stages with the likes of Conan, Conjurer and Primitive Man before signing to cult Berlin-based label Kozmik Artifactz.

With the addition of new member John Wright on organ, the band have also expanded their horizons musically, voyaging beyond the doomy psych of the EP to explore a spectrum of heavy music. On Let the Devil In they conjure up a blasphemous, arena-baiting hard rock single, while on Templar Dawn they veer into the cavernous (free)masonry of traditional doom metal. The psyched-out, prog-inflected The Ritual Tree attempts to answer the mystery of ‘Who put Bella in the Wych Elm?’ while May Queen is an ergot-tinged ballad of failing harvests and human sacrifice. The overall, irresistible impression is of a young band summoning up the eccentric English spectres of '70s proto-metal, early-'80s NWOBHM and '90s stoner rock and dragging those sounds kicking and screaming into the 21st Century.

Free the Witch EP by GREEN LUNG

Singer Tom Templar said, "With the response to 'Free the Witch,' the introduction of a new member and the chance to write a full LP we've been spurred on to take our sound to the next level -- so expect a pro-witch party album of diabolical riffs, harmonized solos, inescapable hooks and lyrics inspired by folk horror films like The Wicker Man and Blood on Satan's Claw. We hope Woodland Rites will become the soundtrack to many a debauched backwoods Sabbath in 2019."

'Woodland Rites' was recorded and mixed by Wayne Adams (Vodun, Ghold) who reprised his Free The Witch duties at Bear Bites Horse Studios. Mastering was undertaken by Brad Boatright at Audiosiege. Woodland Rites will be packaged in hallucinatory artwork by renowned woodcut artist, Richard Wells (The Wicker Man, Doctor Who) on vinyl and CD, with the cassette cover featuring photography by Courtney Brooke.

Green Lung will be on tour in April with Puppy, then touring both the UK and EU with label mates Deathbell in May, with confirmed shows in Paris, London, Liege and Cologne; more information will be available in due course. The band will also appear at HRH Doom vs Stoner alongside Monolord, Orange Goblin and Church of the Cosmic Skull on September 29.

17 April - Southampton - The Joiners 18 April - Bristol - The Exchange 19 April - Birmingham - The Flapper 20 April - Manchester - The Star & Garter 21 April - Glasgow - Garage Attic 22 April - Newcastle - Think Tank 23 April - Nottingham - Bodega Social Club 24 April - Leeds - Brudenell Social Club 25 April - London - Underworld

Follow The Band

Get Their Music

[dingdonghun]

I am bored

So I will just talk about myself a bit.

It got long and I don’t wanna make people scroll so fdjgfdjl

Things I like that aren’t kpop

Salt Lamps

Crystals

Stones

Mythical creatures

Mythology

Flowers

Succulents

Horror

Witch craft (I am curious about it, I don’t do it)

Geodes 

Insects

Snakes

Unorthodox plushies like banana or sea slugs, mantis shrimp, etc.

Dream Catchers

Studio Ghibli films

Nature aesthetics

Favorite things

Mythical creature: flower fairies

Animal: Bunnies or Chinchillas 

Lizard: Bearded Dragon

insect: Orchid Mantis

Sea Creature: Sea Bunny

Flying creature: Indian Flying Fox Bat

Crystal: Citrine

Stone: Goldstone or Labradorite

Succulent: Bear Paw

Flower: Camellia

Food: Bagels and cream cheese

Fruit: Cantaloupe

Dessert: peanut butter cookies

scent: lemongrass

Book series: Tiger’s Curse

colors: pastel pink, mint green, pastel yellow, lavender, pastel blue

Idols: Kyungsoo, Namjoon, Bobby, Jungwoo, Doyoung, Johnny, Lucas, Yifan, Zitao, Junmyeon, Shownu, Minseok, Jooheon, Jackson, Taemin, Minho, Jonghyun, Daesung,T.O.P, G-Dragon, Minhyuk, Wonho, Yixing, Hyungwon, Changkyun, (honestly all of exo), Jeno, Yongguk, Jay Park

Things I am scared of

The ocean (deepest fear)

the things in the ocean (deepest fear)

hammerhead sharks

goblin sharks

megalodon sharks

Man-o-war jellyfish

Spiders (huge fear, working on it)

Heights (not so much anymore)

Being alone outside at night (biggest fear)

Porcelain dolls

Comforting things

oversized sweaters and no pants

Relaxing music

Favorite Let’s Players on youtube

Nostalgic video games like Spyro the Dragon or Sly Cooper

Eating fruit

Reading books

Cuddling

Naps

Talking to my closest friends

A warm cup of tea (very fruity, I am picky)

Lofi or vaporwave music

Things I want to achieve

Learning Korean and Spanish

Traveling the world

Learning to play the piano

Learning to play the guitar

Learning to dance

Learning to sing

Martial arts

Meditation

Running a side business for animal rehabilitation 

Finding “the one”  (which is why I’ve been single over a year)

Helping heal the earth

Helping heal the hearts of my friends and people who need it

Holding on each and every day

Reading the 50 something amount of unread books in my room

Getting outside on nature walks more often

Living in the countryside instead of the city

Having a pet cat and a pitbull

Being someone everyone trusts and looks up to

Losing weight and being confident in my body

Becoming the cute sweet gentle sunshine everyone thinks I am

Become more extroverted

Guilty pleasures

Kpop ofc lmao

Kpop albums

Kpop posters

Kpop photocards

Singing (I am not good. I am not just saying that. I mean it.)

Crystal collecting

Buying handcrafted mythical creatures (I have a pastel pink Cthulu baby)

Shoving a bunch of fruit in my mouth

I’m a sucker for a good smile

horror movies/games/stories

Car rides to nowhere

Misc

Dream place to live: A pretty place with lots of land and flowers in Washington

Would you change your name?: No, but I would ask everyone call me by my middle name (Marie) or my first and middle (Chelsea Marie) instead of just my first name

Bad traits I have: I don’t allow people to get close to me in my own heart in case they hurt me because that way it won’t hurt when I kick them out, lazy, tired a lot, extremely introverted, non-talkative, literally barely holding myself together, doesn’t express affection properly, untrusting, lots of walls

good traits I have: generous, will help literally anyone if I am able to, deeply caring for people especially my friends, always willing to lend advice, very affectionate, pretty eyes, laughs at literally everything, sticks up for people and myself, a home for my friends

Pets I have had throughout my life: A white cat with orange ears and an orange forehead and striped tail named Princess for my entire childhood up until I was 18, A puppy named Angel with a mental disability but she was the most loving happy baby ever, a bearded dragon named Lizzy, a bunch of fish, a rat named Pink, two little pond frogs, a beta named Dumbledore, a big brown mutt named Bear who was a sweet protective baby boy

Best friends: Josh and Alyssa whom I met online when I was 11 and we have been a trio ever since, I have met them both in person in 2016. Going to meet them again in January. We all have a matching best friend tattoo (totoro). (I consider MANY people my best friends but these are the two I trust 100%)

Artists I love: Joji, Exo, Monsta x, Bigbang, Lil peep, Ztao, Kris wu, bts, mgmt, studio killers, childish gambino, the midnight beast, the lonely island, flight of the conchords

[goblinpuppystudios]

clown furby •ᴗ•

[trixcuomo]

4: The Daily Mail Org

Trixany tries to have a normal day out in the city with her pet dragon, but then it ends in an embarrassing disaster of world-boss proportions.

I gave up on my salad about ten minutes in. That’s how long it took Nautistrasz to decide I wasn’t paying enough attention to him and turn my meal into his nest.

I’m trying to be less shocked around my little Nightmare (and I do mean he’s a nightmare) Whelp. I think my getting upset mostly encourages him. So I pretended that I always intended to eat just one strawberry and a forkful of arugula out of the bowl before taking a cigarette break. Nauti nuzzled into the walnuts and berries, trying to use the larger pieces of fruit as a hat, perhaps, while garnishing himself with green on all the other sides of the bowl. The little dragon was just the right size to wallow in a salad bowl and look up at passerby as if he were the cutest thing in the world.

And then it got even worse. People started to fall for it.

Silvermoon, mid-day, can be lovely. People dressed their very best are strolling about taking their breaks. The angle of the sun is just right to make things seem bright and fresh. You can hear the ritual popping of champagne corks if you try, mingled in with the songbirds. Springpaw appetizers are roasting and aromatic… and if you can find Trixany Cuomo trying to scrape some silver together for a decent lunch treat for once, you will also see her pet dragon destroying it with his evil cuteness.

“What’s his name?”

“Aww… he’s covered in strawberries!”

“Is it really okay for your dragon to be eating all this arugula? If he’s anything like a puppy, eating the wrong thing will just give him gas later, you know…”

To all these charming observations, I had one thing to say.

“He bites.” And if they didn’t move on fast enough, “…Or, I will. Through bone.”

So I had my feet up on the café table and put my shades on. Sulking and being as rude as I liked.

This is what happens to washed up Horde B celebrities…

Wait, have I explained that part yet? In Kezan, I was a Kaja’ Cola girl. I can’t do this sort of thing in the Goblin homeland. My stepfather, a Goblin, is in the casino business. I was around exactly the wrong sorts of short green people growing up. Hustlers, card sharks, showgirls (my mother case-in-point), liars, cheats… so I grew up wanted to be a singer-slash-actress-slash-model in the same way that Silvermoon kids grow up wanting to be magisters or Farstriders. I needed in my life, I screamed and complained about it. So, after a few small gigs, by the time I was a young woman, I’d landed a big one. The Kaja’Cola company wanted to go into a new kind of advertising, with spokesmodels of all races hawking their products all over Azeroth. I was local, my stepfather was able to twist some arms, and I was good—pretty good—so I got to be Fiesta Lime Trixany.

That’s right. Trixany Cuomo officially has a flavor.

Well, between my charming shoots and the love of this quality drink, I was a huge success. I can’t rudely put my feet up on a café table in Kezan with a pair of sunglasses on to dissuade conversation. I get mobbed by fans. I’m not bragging—it’s an actual problem.

So, little did Nauti know, I was having a good enough day, despite him. Still, I wanted to do something to make up for the ruined salad. I’d crawled out of my freshly cleaned apartment after all, to celebrate. I thought about taking him on a walk, but he hated those. Murder Row had this funky consignment shop with a treasure trove of Zandalari clothing and jewelry. (I know, sounds impossible for Silvermoon, but that’s the whole point of Jani-Jani. Say “Hekekekek” and get twenty percent off, by the way.) But Nauti would find a way to ruin that too, somehow. I was still kind of nervous about staying out of doors for too long anyway, since Maiev might drop down out of the sky any moment and kick me around for outing her as a hopeless Illidan fangirl.

Well she should actually be grateful. Maybe now, her Illidaddy can finally come back and claim her.

Ha! I should go write for a trashy celebrity mag.

There really aren’t any great spots for shopping in Silvermoon since the war. I hate Arthas for an additional reason other than all the horrific trespasses against Elf-kind when he attacked… he also took my favorite twenty-four hour fashion show, combination night club with it. You could go party and then buy a new outfit off one of the models while they strutted on the giant, dazzling cat walk. They would seriously strip her (or him) on-stage for the right amount of gold at Puss-Puss. Damn that Arthas!

Yeah, I do get that Jani-Jani is trying to be the low-budget, post-bellum version.

The more I lingered, thinking about old times, the more my craving to shop grew. So, I decided to settle for the auction house.

“Come on, we’re going for another walk. Let’s go across to the other side of the Exchange.” I told Nauti. “Don’t you want to fly around some more?”

He glared at me. Faint smoke raised from his tiny nostrils. The day Nauti really starts breathing fire, with that personality of his, is the day I start renting a studio bunker underground.

“We’re going now, Nautistrasz—”

He shouted over me in his nasal juvenile squeak, “I’m purple!”

Ugh. No, he is not a purple dragon, far from it. But he does love irritating me according to the bizarre rules in his weird, baby dragon mind. I seriously doubt Nauti even knows what ‘a purple’ is, at this point.

And, he wouldn’t get out of the salad bowl. I’d had enough. There are a few ways to discipline things smaller than you. He wanted to be a salad rather than a dragon pet today, then fine. I picked up the bowl, and I took him with me. A lot of people laughed at us, which Nauti figured out was a bad thing after a while. Then he sulked.

I gloated at my dragon-like parental skill, “Heh. How’s it feel to not be cute anymore?”

“Like you!”

“Sonofa—you mean little dragon!”

I mean, I am aging, but come on! What a low blow from a creature that you’re supposed to own.

Also. Someone out there, please open a cute boutique in Silvermoon. Please.

Shopping at the auction house for a new outfit is so horrible. You have to wander around stacked crates and overflowing barrels of… stuff. I don’t even know what kind of stuff, because they have everything at auction houses these days, from Sylvanas toenail clippings (times are hard and her fanatics are getting desperate) to goop for junior alchemical experiments, along with newly polished armor pieces. I got tired of carrying my strawberry dragon salad like a baby and eventually just set it down on what I judged to be a clean-ish table while I browsed some blouses.

I would later discover that my dragon was being bid on across Azeroth as some kind of still-wriggling, blackened Undercity delicacy. But that’s a whole other episode.

The shirts were okay. I felt like I was searching for over an hour for anything unbelievably beautiful or very on sale to give me a high (shopaholics know exactly what I’m talking about), when I came to the novelties section. A few notable scrolls, then some steamy romance novels and the like were going for hundreds of thousands of gold. Ha! What a rip off. And then I circled back to something that looked a little too familiar. Painfully so.

The glass frame was dusty. The auctioneer hissed at me when I tried to touch it, so I feigned interest and rattled some coins in my hand. That got it cleaned off, fast as you like. I wish I hadn’t done it, though.

It was a picture of me. I was on the auction house.

I… explained about the soda modeling days. I probably have not explained (and hoped I never would) about what happened while I was at Tempest Keep and Kael’thas Sunstrider himself heard about my Kaja Cola modeling days.

Okay, so first off—it was the war.

Second of all, getting with Kael’thas back then was actually something to brag about.

Third! It was the war, I was upset, and it was boring at Tempest Keep between raids and he kept saying it was for his research so maybe I did pose for a picture or two!

I’m just saying… In my defense…

Alright, so there is no decent defense. There I was, sipping tea at the edge of a bed with Prince Kael’thas Sunstrider, dressed in some flimsy Murloc costume. It was weird and horrible all at once. And he looked to be smiling a lot harder than I ever remembered, because I swear now that ‘tea’ he served on set was spiked with something… fel… ish.

The worst part? My likeness in a costumed, nude photo shoot with the late prince was going for 300,000 gold.

I also don’t remember autographing anything like that, but it was signed by me somehow. It did look authentic. I screamed up a storm.

“But Miss! This is a very popular item. The bids just keep going up and up…”

“I will KILL whoever put this personal property of mine up for auction. Go explain to them that me taking this back, now, is better than my death sentence!”

But the city guard were walking in by then. I was causing a scene, worse than a scene. I’d even forgotten about my pet dragon by then, if you recall.

“WHO put this up for bid! I wanna know!”

Auctioneer Feynna said something about a privacy clause. Discretion my ass! They’re not doctors or priests. The guards started laughing at me when they actually saw what the fuss was about. I used the distraction to knock Feynna down and give my threat a final time. (Not a nice girl, I used to be a Sunfury, remember? And I’m tall, so I can do this easily to most people, if you also recall. Especially my exes.)

“The Daily Mail Orgrimmar will want damages paid to me and the Royal Exchange itself, if you dare put your hands on me again!”

What.

“The WHAT?!” I shrieked. The guards grabbed me by the arms. “The…? But I don’t understand?”

The Daily Mail Orgrimmar. That’s right. Someone finally outed me.

But one thing I couldn’t get at the time was, who would have access to Sunfury era photos and Kael’thas memorabilia? You’d practically have to root through melted steel girders of Tempest Keep wreckage to locate anything belonging to Kael’thas. Only weird Illidan would be vengeful enough, or care enough. Illidan or one of his cronies still hanging around… And then, what motivation would someone connected with Illidan have, to sell a picture of mine to a trashy celebrity mag? As the guards picked me up off my feet, my mind raced through so many possibilities. Most of my frenemies from that era were dead or imprisoned or… still kinky Demon Hunters. I shuddered at the thought. Few Burning Crusade era bad guys were reformed and walking around as normies again, with fully resuscitated reputations and regular jobs, like me. And whoever the perpetrator was, they also must have had damned good connections. Possibly also famous. Okay, so I’m not really famous, but it would have been someone well in with Team Illidan, let’s say, that The Daily Mail Org would trust to have got their source right.

Wait.

No, it couldn’t be.

“Oh no she didn’t…MAIEV??!”

And then the Silvermoon City Guard dumped me right on my ass, in the middle of the street.

((For fun, I will actually put a Trixany autograph on the WrA auction house, if you care to buy it. Fun fact: there are even a few Trixay autographs floating around in-game. It started when I made a few and gave them away as gag gifts for a party. But it was so funny, I decided to just keep handing them out. At least one person has told me they’ve collected two different ones. There are three to collect so far. Ahem… well, here’s your chance to be officially on Team Trixany! And even if no one buys it, what a great stunt to LOL about later. Muaha.))

[immedtech]

'Children of Morta' and the power of modern pixel art

Children of Morta made me incredibly happy, scared, sad and fiercely determined, all within the span of 10 minutes and using only pixel art -- plus a few modern bells and whistles. It comes from Dead Mage and publisher 11 bit Studios, and it's an isometric hack-and-slash game starring the Bergsons, a family of fierce fighters on a mission to save their home mountain from an evil corruption. Each family member has a special skill, and for my playthrough at GDC, I chose to battle as the youngest daughter, a fire mage.

Children of Morta's visual impact stems from Dead Mage's clever use of modernized pixel art. This means the game isn't completely flat; instead, it's layered with lighting effects and shadows that lend the landscapes richness and depth, while maintaining a retro vibe overall. Think Hyper Light Drifter or Enter the Gungeon.

In keeping with the old-school arcade feel, Children of Morta borrows a classic mechanic from shmups of old: point-to-shoot. Ranged characters, like the fire mage, hurl endless rounds of ammo into swarms of enemies as they appear in procedurally generated dungeons. There are skeletons with swords, goblins with bows and arrows, vicious bats and all manner of creepy crawlies out for blood.

The Bergson family scales the mountain searching for the source of its corruption, and each time a character dies, they appear back in the family's home. Then, players are able to choose a new fighter, offering a variety of styles throughout the game.

Each character has unique powers, including their ultimate abilities: For instance, when the daughter enters rage mode, she Kamehamehas her way out of the situation, shooting a steady stream of flames from her body. She's able to move around in this form, unlike her basic point-to-shoot attack, which requires her to stand still. She also has a tornado move and she's able to leave a decoy of herself on the battlefield, drawing enemy fire away from her.

Children of Morta is a narrative-driven adventure and it offers surprisingly emotional story beats for a game packed with pixels. In one instance, just before I died, I encountered a small white puppy trying to protect the massacred body of its mother from a horde of enemies -- and I immediately felt a deep connection with the tiny dog. I wanted to hold it and take it home, and that's exactly what the game allows players to do. Survive that encounter and players take the pup home, where he remains as a beloved pet in the rest of the game.

Children of Morta is due out on Xbox One, PlayStation 4 and PC this summer, with a Switch version incoming as well.

Click here to catch up on the latest news from GDC 2018!

- Repost from: engadget Post

[goblinpuppystudios]

happy lunar new year!!

[goblinpuppystudios]

i made some tarot cards !! :D

IG: goblinpuppystudios

[goblinpuppystudios]

IG: goblinpuppystudios