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#god I talk too much don't I
queenlucythevaliant · 14 days
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Just to clarify my thoughts (since I've had a number of people ask me about it) re: Job and cursing God. There's a big difference between cursing God as used in Scripture and how we generally would think of cursing at God today.
Cursing someone, in the Bible, has a lot of depth to it. It's not just saying "screw you " in anger, it's got a sense of forsakenness to it. It's the opposite of a blessing, a removal of blessing. If the blessing is presence, your face shining on the person you're blessing, then a curse is absence. In some translations, Job's wife tells him to "renounce God and die," which I honestly think makes a lot more sense to modern ears.
Job says a lot of unpleasant things to and about God in his anger and grief. So do the Psalmists. A number of the Prophets. So can we. God can take it if we come to him with honest expressions of our emotion, including those not-so-nice ones directed at him. I don't think there's anything wrong with getting mad at God and saying, "How dare you, you bastard" when you suffer unjustly. You can say much worse, I think, without sinning, though I don't feel particularly inclined to give examples. But as long as it's an honest expression of your heart, I think you're doing exactly what prayer is for. You're presenting him your heart with an open hand. He can use that. Opposite of love is not hate but indifference, etc.
Job doesn't renounce God. Neither should we. But I think when you're truly suffering, you're gonna have those feelings toward God either way. He'd rather you address them with him directly than try to avoid them. Cursing at God in the modern sense is actually a great way to keep the relationship strong and not end up cursing/renouncing him in the Biblical sense.
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morrigan-sims · 2 months
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And I forget sometimes I'm just flesh and bone.
As he stands in the ruined bathroom, all Rook can think is, At least now I can breathe.
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daily-hanamura · 6 months
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#p4#persona 4#hanamura yosuke#yosuke hanamura#EVERYDAY IM HOWLING. EVERYDAY IM SCREAMING.#for context this comes at the heel of yosuke charging at mitsuo kubo in rage because of his flippance towards killing saki and he's hit har#but souji and kanji jump in to protect him#like ok a lot of things going on here such as the obvious OH MY GODDDD yosuke being yosuke and taking things on for himself#because he doesn't want to bother people?? because he's made it his own responsibility? because his survivor's guilt is still lingering?#i mean don't tell me he doesn't look at how he surrendered to his shadow like apart from his self-sacrificing propensity#i low key feel like everytime yosuke demands answers about saki's death from the murderer/god/etc there's this undertone of how#he would rather it have been him#he cheapens his own life so much and for what#BUT ALSO!! ALSO!! not just souji jumping in because we know he would he's down bad for yosuke BUT ALSO KANJI#listen you've all heard me talk so much about how i adore kanji yosuke friendships#i can't really tell whether it's kanji or souji that says “haven't we earned your trust yet” but it's a line that hits SO HARD#regardless of which one of them was saying it and i think it hits hard in slightly different manners#it's kanji's admiration and how he looks up to yosuke and how he wants to be closer to yosuke as a friend/kouhai/whatever you want#tatsumi “who's your partner now!” kanji has so much respect for yosuke he wants yosuke to rely on him too!!!#and this stands out because kanji is very conscious of social hierarchies and such but as a kouhai as yosuke's junior#he's so specific about wanting yosuke to treat him as an equal#i smtimes feel bad for kanji because he has a bit of that vibe of a poor puppy trailing after souyo because he wants to be in their convos!#he wants to be included! but critically he also just! wants them to SEE him!!#going a lil off tangent but i think kanji's attitude towards souji is very much one of kouhai respect like he understands his place#of like deferring to souji or getting advice from him and just generally regarding him as a reliable mentor#and it's the same with chie and yukiko? but idk man. with yosuke. guys. with yosuke i always feel like kanji wants to break that hierarchy#that convention. that social norm. to cross a line and be closer to yosuke.#he's more willing to tease yosuke in a way he doesn't with the other 2nd years. and this isn't coming from a place of disrespect either#AGAIN. KANJI REALLY LIKES YOSUKE. he wants to protect yosuke!!! he jumps at the opportunity for yosuke to rely on him!!#i'm getting delulu but there's those hints of “yosuke senpai i want you to see me as a man!!!” kind of energy here and i'm it's yknow hmm
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imrllytootiredforthis · 7 months
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sub yuta okkotsu agenda 😔
no bc i got THOUGHTS, i got so many thoughts about my babygirl named yuuta okkotsu, you don't even UNDERSTAND how badly i want him
him in the movie-*aggressive eye twitch*, his big sweet innocent puppy eyes-fuck it just *short circuits*
AND THEN afterwards when he's his anxious, tired, emo self (me too fr), like he's still just my cutie patootie and it's a literal CRIME how little sub fics of him there are bc take one look at that baby AND TELL ME that he is a daddy dom in bed-you'd be lying to yourself and me-and we do not tolerate lying in this house
no but fr, he is not domming for his life. a service top-perhaps, he would still cry a lot though and if you were making HIM fuck YOU he would beg for you to just take over, his arms shaking on either side of your head as he tries to make you feel good. because it's not the same like this-he wants you to fuck him, he wants to ride you as your hands grope over his body, he wants to pinned against a wall and fucked hard and rough within an inch of his life.
babyboy just wants to be loved and taken care of by his so
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adhd-merlin · 11 months
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Christian iconography? in my Merlin??
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introspectivememories · 4 months
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what's wrong with data analyst bernard?
summary: tim's a workaholic ceo. bernard is, to put it simply, a down-on-his-luck loser with a kid to take care of. somewhere along the line, they meet. (very loosely based on the 2018 hit kdrama, "what's wrong with secretary kim?")
A/N: for @chamiryokuroi bc this fanart has given me brainrot since the moment i saw it. but also bc, i missed writing and your art helped. i hope you like it. (more notes at the end.)
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Today is a good day, Bernard thinks happily, brand new ID badge bouncing on his tie. It's his first day at Wayne Ent. and Mori had sent him off with a hug and muttered, "have a good day, Tou-san." It's been bouncing around in his head all day. Tou-san, Tou-san, Tou-san, he's really a dad now. He's got to make sure Mori has everything he needs and this new job is going to make sure he can do that.
Shaking his head once to clear it, he takes a sip of the complimentary coffee a team member bought him for his first day. His team leader, Young-joon Lee, is taking him on a tour of the building. Young-joon is a wonderful man in his late 30s but it's very clear that he's been consumed by the office lifestyle.
"...and here is our magnificent lobby!" Young-joon is saying as he tunes back in. His team leader spreads his arms wide out as he speaks, "Everyone knows the lobby but it's my personal philosophy that making friends or at least being on amicable terms with the ground floor staff will make your life easier."
Bernard laughs politely, "I know what you mean. I can't tell you how many times being nice to the host at the restaurant I used to work at saved my butt during rush hour."
"A man after my own heart!" Young-joon says, smiling widely as he leads him to the help desk.
Bernard tilts his head up to look at the skylight. It's a gorgeous thing with little animal motifs running alongside it. It lights up the lobby bringing a welcoming feeling into it. With the sunlight pouring into the room, along with the din of busy workers in slacks running to and fro, it really feels like stepping into a movie.
Are you seeing me Darls?, he thinks with a childlike glee, hand coming up to thumb at his badge again, I made it!
"This, my friend," Young-joon says, pulling up to the help-desk, "is our wonder-duo. Tamara and Abhishek. They practically run this building. Lord knows we'd be tripping all over ourselves without them."
Tamara and Abhishek smile as they get introduced.
"They run this building?" he asks confusedly.
"You see, young padawan," Abhishek says, "not only do we help the people that come in here asking questions or for instructions, we also answer any questions the staff has for us."
"Things like, 'What's HR’s number?' or 'Can you page Data for me?' or 'No seriously, I'm calling HR on this man right now. What is their number?'" Tamara says grinning.
Bernard laughs. It feels like that's all he's been doing since he got here. "You have to tell me the story on that one day."
"Sorry," Tamara says, faux-apologetic, "the minimum clearance on that story is half-a-year. Gotta level up."
His cheeks hurt from smiling. This is his and Mori's new beginning. This is where they level up. Nothing's gonna stop him now.
"Do you know the story behind that one?" he asks, turning to Young-joon.
"Of course! But where would be the fun in telling you? You have to stay the six months and if luck comes my way, longer."
"You want me for longer?"
"Of course, I saw the way you worked during those practice problems in the interview. I had to fight the other team leaders for you. It was brutal."
"Get back I say!" Young-joon says, miming a sword fight. A pleased warmth builds in his chest; they wanted him, they wanted him!
Darls you better be fucking watching this. I'm movin' up in the world.
"Ooh, send me that footage. I wanna see our newest recruits skills," Abhishek says.
"You got the data team fighting over you?" Tamara asks, eyebrows raised, "I wanna see it—"
Whatever she was going to say is cut off by the sound of both of their pagers pinging. Immediately going stock still, they start typing on their computers.
Bernard turns to Young-joon confused but his team leader looks like nothing is out of the ordinary.
"The boss is coming." Young-joon says, like that's a reasonable explanation for two people shutting down in the middle of the conversation, "It's always quite a spectacle and they always have to notify the other execs. Just watch."
Still, the boss? Maybe Bruce Wayne will say 'hi' to him and he'll charm the CEO and Mr. Wayne can figure out a way to—
No, no. He's done making those kinds of fantasies. Nobody is coming to help. Bernard is going to figure out his life on his own, he is going to take such good care of his kid, and he is not going to wait for some rich billionaire to swoop in and take care of him. He got this far didn't he? He'll get even farther.
He and his team leader lean against the help desk sipping coffee as they wait for the CEO to come in and sure enough, a black Rolls Royce pulls up to the driveway in the front. The minute the door opens, flashes from the paparazzi's cameras start going off. Out steps a bodyguard in a black suit with an umbrella opened. From below the umbrella he sees a nice pair of brown loafers step out. The CEO seems to be wearing a navy blue suit today. The paparazzi roars and the flashes increase.
"Oh wow," a man remarks a few feet away from him, "the circus is strong today, huh?" His friend laughs.
A woman wearing red heels steps out after the CEO, the paparazzi flashes decrease dramatically. More bodyguards exit after the woman and form a square around the CEO and his assistant/secretary. They shuffle towards the entrance where he sees the elderly doormen greet the executives with a smile. Whatever they say is lost to the sound of the city but the doormen laugh and push the doors open.
Young-joon's been making small talk throughout the entrance and Bernard tries to keep up but whatever the hell is going on at the entrance is way more interesting than anything his team leader is talking about. As they enter the guards spread out and dissolve the square. The woman comes into view first, red heels with a black slacks and a white button down. She's holding a long coat in one hand and a laptop bag slung over her shoulder. She's gorgeous and clearly the one in charge, going by the way she barks orders at the guards.
Young-joon says something and he turns around to respond, grabbing his coffee cup off the desk counter. His CEO's loafers tap across the lobby's marble floor, something about it is comforting. A lull in the room's conversations causes the CEO's voice to carry over.
"...Tam, make sure the quarterly reports are on my desk by at least 4 today and make sure to push back the sales meeting by 30 minutes to an hour, the board wants to talk — Oh Mr. Bardakcı! Thank you for stay—..."
Bernard's heart jackrabbits in his chest. He knows that voice but- it can't be. It's not possible; he chose Wayne Enterprises for a reason. He's not supposed to be here. He's supposed to be at his father's company. Unless... there was a merger? No, that seems like the kind of thing the news wouldn't've shut up about. He would've known.
When was the last time you had time to sit down and read the news, Bear? Darls says inside his head
She's right. With filing for custody of Mori and graduating from college and the job search, he hasn't had time for much else. It's entirely possible that he could've missed one of the biggest mergers of the decade.
Fuck, Fuck.
He wasn't supposed to be here. Bernard was supposed to be moving on. He was supposed to be building a life for himself away from the shadows of his childhood. He was supposed to be forgetting that Tim Drake ever existed.
He has to make sure though. Turning his body around, he prays that it's not the man he thinks it is. But sure enough, there stands Tim Drake, resplendent in a navy blue suit and a golden tie.
Golden ties for golden boys, he thinks absentmindedly.
The suit fits him perfectly, stretching across his shoulders and wrapping around his waist. Even the tie looks knotted perfectly. How long did it take him to learn, Bernard wonders. He could never get it right back in high school. Does his assistant Tam do it- no, no! This is why he didn't apply to Drake Industries. Bernard can't do anything around Tim and Tim is never going to care enough about him to stay.
Tim's head seems to be turning in his direction and Bernard whips his head back to make sure Tim doesn’t even catch a glimpse of him. His hand twitches violently enough that the coffee cup falls out of his hand and spills all over the floor. The cup rattles deafeningly on the floor. Bernard can't fucking breathe.
"-ernard? Bernard!" his team leader's voice cuts through the haze in his head. Young-joon looks concerned, "Are you okay?"
He blinks slowly, "...What?"
"I said, 'Are you okay?’ You look like you've seen a ghost?"
No, Bernard thinks, seeing Darls would be preferable to whatever level of hell I've found myself in.
"I'm—, I'm fine." he says rather unconvincingly. His eyes dart back to the spill, "What am I saying? There's a large puddle of coffee on the floor. I—, I should get some paper towels for that."
"Do you have any paper towels, Wonder-Duo?" he asks, trying desperately to ignore Tamara and Abhishek's concerned looks.
"I already called the custodial staff," Tamara says slowly, like she’s trying not to spook him, "but if it makes you feel any better," she pulls out a huge stack of paper towels, "go crazy, I guess."
Bernard takes a handful of paper towels and gets to work. The cleaning is meditative and with each swipe of the paper towel, the puddle gets smaller. Bernard pretends the puddle is his feelings for Tim. Swipe, forget about the 4pm milkshakes and his laughter when Darls snorted milk out of her nose. Swipe, don't think about the way he used to smell. Swipe, he left and never looked back; you don't look back either.
The tap, tap, tap of loafer on marble is getting closer to them for some reason. Why is it getting closer? Does it not have staff meetings, market research, and people to leave behind?
"What is going on here?" Tim asks.
"Nothing much, sir." Abhishek responds, "Newbie just spilled some coffee."
Abhishek, no!
"Oh is that all? And he took the initiative to start cleaning instead of waiting for the custodial staff. You made a good choice, Young-joon."
"Thank you, sir!" Young-joon says, "I was taking him on the tour when you came in. Most newbies love the show so I thought we'd stop here for a little bit."
Tim laughs. Bernard hates that his heart still skips a beat at the sound.
A pair of brown loafers and a wool-covered knee slowly appear in his vision. Why is Tim crouching in front of him? Why won't this man leave him alone?
"This looks like quite a lot of work, let me help."
You can help by leaving me the hell alone, he thinks uncharitably.
"I hope you found the facilities to your liking," Tim continues, like he hadn't heard Bernard's thoughts, "My name is Tim Drake-Wayne, CEO."
I know, he wants to say. I know you're Tim Drake. I know you like to skateboard and that you stared at Tony Hawk's photo for an hour every day in high school ‘cause didn't want to be one of those people who didn't recognize him. I know you struggled with your dad not really being there. I know you loved Mrs. Winters as much as you loved your mom. I know that you like history more than any other subject even though your best was always math.
Bernard says nothing instead.
Tim laughs awkwardly and Bernard knows he isn't helping the conversation along but whatever, he's allowed to be petty, right?
"I assure you, whatever you heard in the tabloids and the news, isn't true. I promise I won't bite…," Tim’s voice trails off as Bernard lifts his head.
"...Bernard?" Tim whispers, he looks like he's seen a ghost.
Bernard tries for a smile, he's pretty sure it comes out looking like a grimace.
"Sir," he says nodding curtly, hands still moving to sweep up the coffee puddle.
Tim's hand reaches out to touch his face, as if to make sure Bernard is really there. Bernard recoils as Tim's hand grazes his cheek. Tim's hand hangs in the air uselessly.
"Bernard?" Tim says again, as if to make sure his eyes aren't playing tricks on him.
"That's my name, Sir," he says through clenched teeth, "don't wear it out."
He can feel Young-joon and the Wonder-Duo's confused stare but he says nothing. What would he even say, really?
Hey, this is my old friend Tim Drake? Hey, I used to know him like the back of my hand? Hey, our best friend died and it feels like I'm the only one still grieving? Hey, in my junior year, five different gangs shot up my school and my best friend died in my arms and he left and I had to pick up the pieces by myself? Hey, I'm the idiot that's still in love with Tim Drake?
The clack of Tam's heels comes as a welcome distraction.
"Tim!" she says, grabbing his arm and pulling him away, "What the hell do you think you're doing? We have to go talk to the board. Build rapport with your employees later."
Tim stumbles to his feet, "Yes, but—, I—, This is—"
He sounds like he's glitching. Bastard. Is it really such a surprise to see Bernard in a well paying job? Even Tam is starting to look a little concerned now.
"Explain later," she commands, dragging Tim behind her. Bernard keeps his head down and continues wiping up the coffee puddle. Sneaking a glance upward shows him that Tim keeps turning back around to stare at him.
For a moment their eyes meet, brown against blue. 'Bernard?' he sees Tim mouth. Bastard, saying his name so many times. Doesn't he know what that does to Bernard? Why does Tim insist on breaking his heart again and again and again? Was once not enough?
He's tired of putting these walls up and just for a second, he lets them come down. Let Tim see the entirety of his brokenness. Tim already has his heart, he can have this too.
'Tim' he mouths back, smiling sadly. Tim looks stunned and the rage that had been simmering in his gut begins to boil over.
Do you see what I've become? Do you see how thoroughly Grieves ruined me? Is this not your doing too? Why did you leave? Have you ever visited Darla? Why was it so easy for you to not look back? Was I not your friend? Or was it just a time pass? Why wasn't I enough for you to stay?
He watches until the elevator doors close, separating him from Tim once again. His body sags like a marionette cut from its strings and his fingers clench uselessly around the coffee soaked paper towels. A hand lands on his shoulder and he flinches.
"Hey, hey," Young-joon soothes from where he's crouched right next to him. When did Young-joon crouch down? How much time has he missed? "It's just me, Bernard. Are you okay? What was that? Does our CEO know you?"
He exhales shakily. He needs to get out of here. He needs to sob hard enough he throws up. He needs the steady press of a knife on his back. He needs things he's not allowed to have anymore.
Bernard shoots up so fast the world spins around him. holding onto the desk for support, he tries to smile at his team leader. It stretches across his face misshapenly.
"I'm—, I'm sorry," he says stumbling over his words in a rush to get them out, "I have to—"
He has to what? Pretend to not see Darls out of the corner of his eye? Pretend like his hands don't have blood on them? Pretend like he isn't seeing bullet wounds every time he closes his eyes?
"—go to the bathroom," he finishes lamely. Gathering up all of the paper towels, he walks away dazedly, ignoring Young-joon's calls behind him. He shoves the towels in the nearest trashcan, letting his feet lead him to the nearest bathroom.
The bathroom is thankfully empty when he enters and he locks the door behind him. Sliding down the door, he exhales shakily. There's not enough air in this room; he can't breathe. The fluorescent lights hum above their coverings. The one on the left flickers. Who's bright idea was it to install school lights in a business office's bathroom?
The world outside the bathroom rushes on too loudly. Somebody is talking about their vacation. Someone is bemoaning their presentation today. His chest is getting tighter. His hands come up to tug on his hair. Why can't he breathe?
The exhales are coming quicker and quicker. Something comes tapping down the hallway. It's the gunmen, it has to be. A quick glance down tells him all he needs to know: he's covered in blood.
It's Lila's, he thinks dazedly, I had to carry her into the office. Or no, it's Olu's. I held him when he died. He said, he said, what did he say?
Why can't he remember? He hits his head with the heel of his palm.
Think he tells himself, we have to tell Olu's parents what he said. He said—, he said—.
His body sags.
Oh now he remembers. He said, "I don't wanna die Bernard."
A whimper tears itself out of his throat and he slaps a palm over his mouth. There's blood smeared across his face now, he must look like he walked out of a slasher film. He has to be quiet. if he's too loud, the gunmen will find them and then they'll all be dead.
Cry quietly, he tells himself, Darls doesn't need—
Darla! How could he forget about Darla with a hole in her gut? He needs to get to her. Lurching forward, he scrabbles across Mrs. Castillo's linoleum floor. He's smearing Olu's blood everywhere. Why won't Nikhil stop fucking crying so loudly? Goddamn freshmen and their hysterics. Where is Tim? Is he safe? He can't lose both friends today, please Lord, please.
BANG!
A violent flinch tears through his body. He sobs audibly this time, gagging on his spit. It's the gunmen, it has to be. He hasn't even held Darls' hand or counted Tim's moles for the last time. Where are the Darls? She shouldn't be alone. She doesn't like violence like this.
"Why didn't you save me, Bear?" a voice asks from behind him.
He freezes. Slowly he turns around and nearly yells in shock. Falling back on his butt, he stares up at his friend.
(He has to be quiet, he has to be quiet, he has to be quiet-)
Darls is standing behind him still in her crop top and cargo pants. Her once smooth midsection, bloodied and warped. The bullet wound still drips blood.
Plink, plink, plink.
Bernard hates the scent of iron.
"Why didn't you save me, Bear?" she asks, her voice echoing, "I thought we were friends."
There’s blood dripping down the side of her mouth. Now he remembers, the blood on him isn’t Olu’s or Lila’s — although there is that too — it’s almost overwhelmingly Darla’s. He’s covered in it. Elbows deep in it. It streaks up his arms like a macabre tattoo. He wore a white shirt to school today. The stains will never come out. He is Carrie at the end of prom, mortified and humiliated.
He crawls backwards until his back hits the wall, the impact knocking him out of the worst of that night. He's back in the bathroom. The lights hum loudly overhead. Darla hasn’t left yet.
She tilts her head, “Why didn’t you help me, Bear? I thought we were friends.”
“We are,” he rasps out, “we are friends.”
“Are we?” her eyes have no pupils. His Darls had eyes that shone in the sunlight. His Darls is dead. “Then why am I still bleeding? Why am I still hurting? Why is there a bullet in my stomach, Bear?!”
She’s shouting by the end and he flinches. His hands can’t seem to stop tugging at his hair. The blood must’ve smeared all over it. Talk about taking strawberry blond literally.
“I swear I did everything I could Darls,” he sobs out quietly, voice cracking, “I followed all of Mrs. Castillo’s instructions as best I could. I put pressure and tied the dressing as tight as I could.”
“You thought that was enough?” she snarls, hands coming down to grip the wound. It twists grotesquely; he gags, “You think any of that matters when I’m dead and you’re still alive?”
“Please, please. You know I wouldn’t leave you to die, Darls. Please, please, please believe me.”
“Liar, liar!” she screams, blood dripping out of her mouth onto her pink LOVE shirt. It darkens as each drop hits it. Soon it’ll be completely drenched and she’ll be drowning in it. Where did his smiling friend go? “I’m dead, Bear! I’m dead, dead, dead and it’s all your fault! Why didn’t you save me?! Why didn’t you save me?!”
He keens, body curling in on itself. One hand goes down to press on his throat; he’s making too much noise. Nikhil’s just a freshman. He shouldn’t have to die just because Bernard couldn’t shut up for once in his life.
“Please,” he whispers raggedly, “I tried, I tried. I swear I tried, Darls.”
“It hurts, Bear,” she sobs. Darla’s too young to be sounding so wrecked, “It hurts so much. Please help me.”
All of sudden, it’s too much. The taste of iron sits heavy on his tongue and Darla won’t stop sobbing. His fingers fumble for his phone and he presses one. It rings once, twice and finally on the third ring does a voice answer.
“Bear?” the other side says groggily.
“Ty please, I can't do this anymore,“ he sobs.
Tyrone suddenly sounds a lot more alert, “Bear what’s going on?”
“Darla won’t stop crying and she keeps on screaming that it’s my fault she died.” he wails, “I know I should’ve done more but please, can you tell her I tried? That I stayed with her until the end? She won’t listen to me, Ty. She won’t listen to me.”
There’s a muffled yell of ‘Babe!” on the other end. “Yeah,” Ty breathes out, “I’ll tell her.”
“You put me on speaker, okay?” Ty instructs, “And you gotta tell me if she’s nodding or if she’s gone or if she said anything, alright? I can’t see her.”
“Okay,” he whispers, pulling the phone away from his ear to press the speaker button.
“You tell me when to start, Bear,” he says, voice filling the bathroom. Darla looks up from where she’s sobbing.
“You can start now Ty,” he rasps out, holding the phone out.
“Hey Darla,” Ty says, “Bear told me you said a lotta mean things about him. Stuff like, ‘he’s the reason you died’ and that ‘he never cared’. Darla, you gotta believe me when I say Bear never stopped caring. He held your hand the whole way through. Told you stories about all the things you two were gonna do once you got out of that nurse’s office. He tried, Darla, honest. I’ve never seen him as focused as when you stopped breathing and Mrs. Castillo had him give you CPR. He couldn’t stop sobbing the whole time.”
“But I’m still dead,” she says.
“But I’m still dead,” he repeats.
Ty inhales sharply, “Yeah,” he says thickly, “you are. And I’ll never stop being sorry about that. But you can’t take that out on Bear. He’s just trying to live his life.”
Darls’ face twists up like a childs, “But it hurts,” she cries.
“But—, but it hurts,” he repeats, voice hitching.
Ty curses, “Oh, fuck. I can’t do this. Babe, can you—?”
“Yeah, of course.” 
“Hey, Darla. It’s me, Jimmy from the football team. I don’t know if you remember me but I remember you. After high school, me and Tyrone ended up getting married. Somewhere between shitty weed brownies and bad college parties, we fell in love. Isn’t that nice?”
Darls nods; he tells them as such.
“We visited you after the ceremony. I hope you felt that wherever you are these days. But the point I’m trying to make is that from all I’ve told you just now, you can probably figure out that Ty and I didn’t go pro like we planned. The shooting fucked up Ty’s knee and and my arm. After the hospital stays, playing football for a whole bunch of people just didn’t sound appealing anymore. We’re high school teachers now. Ty teaches math and I teach gym. When it rains or gets cold, my arm and Ty’s knee hurts like hell. But Darla, it doesn't hurt forever. It gets better, I promise.”
“Darla,” Jimmy says, voice unusually serious, “you’re right, you are dead and it does hurt. I’m sorry, I’ll never stop being sorry. I don’t know if it’ll ever go away for you; I’m not too much of an expert on the supernatural. Ty’s the smart one, after all. But I love you, Ty loves you, Bear loves you. I hope that when it hurts the most you can use that as a balm.”
“Auntie Bea loves you too!” Ty’s mom hollers from the background, “Aunt Betty, too!”
Ty laughs wetly and Jimmy snorts, “Does that sound okay?” they ask.
Darls smiles, her teeth stained red from all the blood that built up in her mouth. Bernard misses her with an ache he feels in his bones. Darls nods.
“She nodded,” he says quietly. He blinks once and she’s gone. Where did she go? Doesn’t she know that the gunmen are still at large? She needs to be somewhere safe. He can’t lose a friend today.
“Bear, Bear, you gotta breathe. Take a deep breath for me, c’mon,” Jimmy says.
“She’s gone, Jim. She’s gone again. Why does she keep leaving?” he says, crying. His body can’t stop trembling. How long has he been here? How much time has he missed?
“I miss the cult,” he whispers, “I never had things like this happen when I was with them.”
“Yeah,” Ty snaps, “‘Cause you were high off of like 50 different pain meds ‘cause you let them whip you.”
“Ty, not helping.”
“Move over, let me talk to him."
"Hey, sweetheart," Auntie Bea's voice crackles through his tiny speaker, "I know you're tired and I know you're hurting. I know you miss the cult but you gotta breathe for me, okay? You're gonna pass out otherwise."
"I can't, I can't," he gasps out. 
"Sure you can, you just gotta tell me five things you can see. Can you list those five things for me?"
Bernard desperately tries to get his breathing under control, "The sink is dirty."
"Good, good. Anything else?" 
"The tiles need to be re-grouted."
Aunt Betty barks out a laugh. Bernard's lips twitch upward.
"Keep going."
"My pants, my white shirt, my ID badge," he rattles off.
They talk him through the rest of the grounding techniques and by the time he feels like he's in control again, he's exhausted. His eyes hurt and his throat is dry. 
"Can you tell us why you spiraled so hard, Bear? This hasn't happened in a long time," Jimmy asks.
"I spoke to Tim again," he says simply. He pushes himself up onto his feet and walks over to the sink. Setting the phone down on the counter, he grips the sink with both hands and just breathes. The Bernard in the mirror looks like he just came out of a warzone, eyes haunted, hair messed up. 
"Oh fuck," Ty says, "Where did you even meet him?"
"At my new job at Wayne Ent."
"Why would you apply there?" Jimmy asks, stressed.
"I didn't know! It's not like I've had a lotta time in the past few years to check the news!"
"Well, whatever, what’s done is done." Ty says, ever practical, "Are you going to quit?"
"No!” he says vehemently.
“No,” he repeats quieter, “Wayne has the best benefits and Mori needs that. I’ll just suck it up and try to avoid him.”
“Don’t be fucking stupid,” Aunt Betty says.
“Ma!”
“Oh be quiet Jimmy. I’ve never heard of a more stupider thing. He’s your CEO, Bear, and he knows you work there. He’s obviously going to want ‘to catch up’ or whatever. There is no avoiding him. Can you handle that?”
What can he say? Aunt Betty is right. He can’t handle talking to Tim. Even seeing Tim felt like touching a live wire. He can’t deal with another episode. Mori doesn’t need him to be fucked up, Mori needs him to be the stable adult he promised the courts he was. 
“You can’t, sweetheart,” she says softly, “you can’t handle it.”
There’s some shuffling on the other end of the phone. 
“Bear,” Ty says gently, “I love you, man. You’re my brother. Jimmy loves you, Mama loves you, Aunt Betty loves you. But you gotta start thinking about therapy.”
“I know, I know,” he sighs, “I shouldn’t’ve dragged you into this. I’m—”
Ty cuts him off with an exasperated huff, “It’s not about that Bear. I’ll keep talking to your hallucinations for as long as you need me too. Even when we’re seventy, I’ll do it for you. I don’t care about that. I care about you and I want you to be happy and healthy. I don’t want you to keep seeing Darla. I don’t want you to keep trying to scrub the blood off your hands. 
“And I know you’ve been avoiding therapy ‘cause you don’t got the money and ‘cause talking about your problems is scary but it’s not just you anymore. You got Mori now. That custody claim is going through. You can’t just avoid things ‘cause they’re hard now. You work at Wayne now; that paycheck is more than enough to set a few dollars aside each month to save up for therapy. Hell, mental health probably comes with your medical benefits. Please, Bear. If you can’t get help for you, then do it for us, for Mori. Please stop making us watch you hurt.”
Bernard exhales shakily.
“I never wanna find you the way we did after the cult, Bear. I never wanna see you in the hospital bed like that again. Please don’t do that to us, please,” Ty whispers.
Unconsciously, his hand comes up to rub at the scar left behind from the sacrifice. It stretches along the length of his sternum, jagged and rough. On good days, he can pretend that it’s a scar from a heart surgery. He doesn’t have that many good days.
Bernard presses the heel of his palms into his eyes before using his hands to scrub at his face. He’s always so tired these days.
“Okay,” he says simply, “okay.”
“Okay?” Ty asks hopefully.
“Okay, you’re right. It’s not just me anymore. Mori deserves the best and I’m gonna give it to him. And I love Tim, I think I’ll always love Tim but he clearly doesn’t give a shit about me. So I gotta make my peace with it or I’ll go crazy.”
Ty whoops, “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” he chants.
“Bear, it’s still the middle of the workday,” Jimmy says, although he too, sounds happy. Auntie Bea and Betty are muttering about a feast, he thinks. “Don’t you have to get back to work?”
“Yeah, that’s if I’m not fired already,” he mutters.
“Hey!” Jimmy admonishes, “Optimism only, no pessimism.”
“Alright, alright. I gotta get back to work now. Thanks guys.”
“Of course, we’ll let you go now. Ma wants me to tell you that we’re having dinner at your place today.”
“Aunt Betty,” he whines, “I haven’t cleaned and you and Auntie Bea are just looking for a reason to spoil Mori.”
“Absolutely,” they say, unashamed, “he’s our only grandson. We have to spoil him.”
“Fine,” he sighs but he’s smiling. Fuck, he loves these people. God knows he wouldn’t have survived the past six years without them.
“Bye Bear,” they say before he hangs up, “Good luck on your first day!”
He cuts the phone and slides it back into his pocket. Turning on the tap, he splashes some cold water onto his face. Using his wet hands, he tries to rearrange his mussed up hair into something acceptable for an office job.
Time to face the music Darls, he tells her smiling face in the mirror. She gives him a thumbs up in return.
The walk back to his office feels like a death sentence. He’s fucked this up, he knows it. Freaking out over a small interaction with his CEO and then running away only to come back two hours later? It’s over, done for. Bernard takes comfort in the fact that at least the severance package will be nice.
Stepping into the office, immediately draws the eyes of his team members. Every step towards his team leader’s office feels nerve-wracking. Just before he enters, Esperanza, the team’s second in command, stops him.
“Whatever happened,” she says, “just explain it to him. Young-joon’s a reasonable man, he’s not gonna yell at you.”
Some of the tension leaves him and he nods. Knocking on the door, he enters. His team leader looks up and smiles.
“Ah, Bernard! Why don’t you take a seat for me?”
He crosses his wrists behind his back, “I’d rather stand, sir.”
His team leader looks confused, “‘Sir’? Just call me Young-joon like I told you.”
“Anyway, after you left, I took the liberty of going through your file to see if there was anything I missed. I hope that wasn’t overstepping my boundaries.”
“No s-, Young-joon. You’re fine.”
Young-joon sighs and pushes the file he was reading before Bernard came in forward. It’s his file. 
“I’m going to say some statements,” he says, “and I want you to confirm whether it’s true or not. If any of these questions make you uncomfortable, just tell me okay? I’ll drop it immediately.”
Bernard nods.
“You went to Louis E. Grieves Memorial High School.”
“Yes.”
“Based on the dates you put in your file, you were there for the shooting.”
“...Yes. Junior year.”
“You know our CEO.”
“Yes,” he breathes out.
“How?”
He used to fall asleep on my shoulder during lunch and I would listen to him breathe. He’s got moles all over his face. Darls once connected them with a sharpie. His step-mom was so hot, I thought I’d spontaneously combust every time she smiled. HIs dad didn’t really like me and flirting with his wife didn’t help my case. The Drake condo had a crocheted flower blanket on the sofa that his mom had made during her pregnancy. He liked to skateboard but couldn’t roller-blade to save his life. I have all this love and nowhere to put it.
“It’s a little private,” he says instead.
“I’m only asking because we work quite closely with him. We see him often and if that makes you uncomfortable, then I can have you transferred to another team.”
His shoulders sag, “We went to Grieves together for one year. Our mutual friend died. It’s a little hard to look at him.”
“Jesus Christ.” Young-joon says, “Okay well the offer is still on the table, Bernard. Do you want to be transferred?”
“No, I like your team. I’d like to stay,” he says, firmly.
“Are you sure?” Youn-joon asks, eyebrows raised.
“Yes.”
“Okay then,” and it’s like a switch had flipped. Gone is his serious team leader and in its place is the man he met this morning.
“If you plan on staying,” he says smiling, “then my primary recommendation is that you use the medical benefits the company gives you to find a therapist. If you need help, the infirmary here will walk you through it.” 
Oh thank god it comes included with his medical, Ty will be overjoyed to hear that. But first, he has to ask Young-joon why he’s doing all this. Bernard knows his experience with authority figures is a little skewed towards the shitty side of the spectrum but even so, people usually aren’t so kind in his experience.
“Why are you doing this? Why didn’t you fire me? Why are you helping me?”
Young-joon chuckles, “Do you want to be fired?”
“No! But still, why are you helping me?”
Young-joon sighs and stands up. Walking around his desk, he stops right in front of Bernard. Young-joon puts a hand on his shoulder.
“This city takes a lot out of its people, believe me I know. And you were so young, when Gotham took her piece of you. It wasn’t fair of you to go through that. Just like it wasn’t fair to me and my wife when we got kidnapped as children. These kinds of things don’t go away. I still get worked up over zip-ties. My wife still has nightmares. All you can do is learn to live with it.
“You seem like a good kid with a good head on your shoulders. I’d hate to see all that potential go to waste ‘cause you kept getting trapped in your mind. I had a lot of help to get to where and who I am today. Consider this, me paying it forward. One day, I hope you can pay it forward too.”
His eyes feel suspiciously wet. “Thank you,” he chokes out, “thank you.”
Young-joon laughs, “There’s no need for the waterworks, Bernard. Now, pack up your things and go home. You’re in no state to analyze data today but I expect you here at 9AM sharp tomorrow, alright?”
Bernard mock salutes, “Yes, sir.”
“Goodbye, Bernard.”
Right before he exits, he turns around and calls out his team leader’s name.
“Young-joon,” Young-joon looks up confused, “you can call me Bear, by the way.”
A wide grin stretches across his team leader’s face, “Okay then. Goodbye Bear, see you tomorrow.”
Walking out of the office, it feels like a burden has been lifted off his shoulders. Esperanza takes one look at him and snorts.
“You just got Young-joon-ed, huh?”
His jaw drops, “He does that often enough you guys have a name for it?”
The other team members laugh, “Welcome to Data Analysis Team 1, kiddo. We look forward to working with you from now on.”
Smiling, he gathers his things and leaves after a few goodbyes. Once outside the building, the smile drops. It’s an hour-and-a-half bus ride from Wayne Tower to his house. The bus stop sits right in front of the tower too. Some new initiative by the mayor to promote the city moving towards green energy. Hey look, even rich people take the bus! What a fucking joke.
The tower warps the sunlight around it and he stares up at the top floor. Is Tim watching? Can Tim see him from up there? Does he care or was it just the shock of seeing someone he once knew this morning? Has Tim ever thought about him, about them? Or were they just moments in his life? Perpendicular lines, intersecting once and then never again.
I miss you, he thinks staring at the top floor, I miss you more than anything but I’ll walk into oncoming traffic before I ever reach for you again.
The bus pulls up next to him and he snags a seat in the back. Dropping his head onto the seat in front of him, he stares out the window. Darls smiles back at him in the window reflection, perpetually sixteen. He’s twenty-two now.
Fuckin’ hell Darls, he thinks wearily, we’re really in it now.
Darls places her hand against the glass, he leans his shoulder onto it. If he closes his eyes, he can almost feel her warmth.
We’ll make it through, she says.
The bus rumbles forward and he lets the cracked streets of Gotham lull him to sleep. He’ll make it through.
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A/N: chami! i hope you like it!!! i've never gifted a fic before, i don't really know how this works. and to everyone who read it, i hope you liked it too! please leave your thoughts in the reblogs or replies!!! i miss the days when td:r was coming out and we were all collectively freaking out. anyway when i said loosely based, i really did mean loosely. props to you guys if you can figure out the direct references to the drama. but this is a one-shot. i'm not gonna be writing anything else for this 'verse? au? (god i'm always so worried im using em dashes wrong)
if you have questions or you're confused by something i wrote, feel free to ask questions or send an ask or message. oh, and i know some people like know the exact wordcount. so, it's exactly 6,785 words long. nice number right?
also, please note that if you want to make art or a podfic or hell, even fanfiction of this, feel free to do so! i hope that's not too presumptuous or anything. idk i see fanfic writers make this disclaimer all the time, so i thought i'd do it to.
thank you for reading!
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and they were partners! oh my god they were partners...
Do you ever think about how in the original Treasures of knowledge game, Carmen and Jules were partners at ACME and probably had all sorts of adventures together? do you?? because i do, all the time
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katierosefun · 10 months
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hm maybe i’m going to get flack for this, but i genuinely don’t understand how some self-claimed fic lovers can be the same people who a) pressure and harass writers into producing more and more stories, regardless of their current health or personal lives, b) pressure writers when they aren’t updating fast enough, again, regardless of their current health or personal lives, and c) now, apparently, feed their supposedly beloved writers’ stories into ai bots. it’s becoming incredibly disheartening and clear that some folks don’t care so much about writers and really care exclusively about feeding whatever greedy need they have to just consume.
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amtrashlmao · 1 month
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guys........ i need him........
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mastersoftheair · 2 months
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ok, so my own final (and very, very fresh) thoughts, bc i wanted to wait until i'd watched everything to make a sweeping opinion of the whole series, and it's quite opinionated. and long. probably too long. i write essays for fun (everyone point and laugh):
my personal (and very, very fresh) ranking of the hbo war shows (not including gen kill bc that's a different war, sorry) goes- band of brothers > masters of the air > the pacific (it's the same for my title score rankings. that hasn't changed yet)
my main points of contention with MotA are 1) the nine episodes, 2) the length of the episodes, and 3) certain editing choices. nine episodes, compared to the classic ten, isn't Nearly enough time to showcase all that they wanna showcase (especially when the episodes are as short as they are, once you get past the recap and "next on" parts). and they wanna showcase A Lot! there so much going on! i'd ask them to pace themselves, but they literally Can't!
i mean, the editing choices are a Whole Thing! practically gives me whiplash sometimes lol. i feel like the weaker episodes still have parts that are Really good, but like. Individually. they don't work together as a stronger whole, which is to the episode's detriment. rather than jumping around (as the show often did), they could've benefited a lot from focusing on the One Story instead of squeezing three more stories into there (i say that, but i think the 4-5-6 episode run (all with multiple stories per episode) did this very well while Still being very good episodes, so it's not like it Can't be done, it just didn't work for 7, 8 and (partly) 9). granted, i suspect a chunk of the weird editing can be blamed on, well, there being only nine (and not all that long) episodes and no one wanting to cough up enough money for a tenth. ugh! i'm blaming both hbo And appletv for this (and covid19 ig). it's just One More Episode, how much could it cost?? and on the subject of episodes, why no episode titles? you used to love episode titles! i could've brainstormed episode titles for them For Free!!
when it comes to the characters, the rankings remain the same: BoB > MotA > TP. it's not totally fair tho, since BoB followed the exact same (and large-ish) group of guys from beginning to end, so you're Gonna know who they all are and get attached. this wasn't the case (for me!) when watching TP, since, unlike BoB, they jump around from group to group. i never felt like i got to know them all that well, outside of the main characters. i think MotA almost hits that sweet spot, especially knowing they had those two main things going against it: large cast And jumping from group to group. there's a case to be made for bias here (i Was the blog blogging about everything MotA for like. years.), but i still think they found a good enough balance of fleshing out the main characters while Also helping the audience get to know about a bunch of minor characters, of which there are a shitton (and their personalities, motivations, backgrounds, quirks).
there's also the representation of women. actual angel renée lemaire is and will always be a cut above the rest (bastogne is just That Good, argue with the wall). she's written so well that it almost makes me forget about how a bunch of women are portrayed in carentan. i have...issues with how women are portrayed in TP (even tho i love lena), so there's that. MotA falls in the middle (again) bc there's Way more women on-screen, but the writing can be questionable. balanced (as all things should be?) captain l'sandra wing-westgate is a character of all time, but episode 7 birthed the craziest discourse known to man (the hbo war fandom), but it wasn't all that unwarranted. manon and michou were sooo cool, but we didn't see nearly enough of them (another victim of the 'editing too many stories into one episode' problem. why not a whole resistance episode? or at least as the only b-plot?). paulina was interesting, but fulfilled one of those 'attractive foreign woman gives sage advice during/after sex' tropes (there's probably a tvtropes page for that idk). so many red cross girls, but none of the in-depth payoff :/ epic highs (multiple women!!) + epic lows (writing women??) = pretty tolerable. not great, not terrible. it was aight. i trust the fandom to build on this tho.
narrative is the big one tho. it's the whole "doing so much with so little" thing they've got going on (i'm ignoring their big budget here lol, could've been bigger). rather than having one main story with many connecting side stories (like BoB), it does the TP thing where there's many semi-connecting side stories set in the same general area. it helps that there's crosby's narration (i enjoy narration, sue me!), and he helps everything connect, sorta. but there's still other side stories that have Nothing to do with him (sandra's side gigs (revealing what she did takes away the mystery of what she Might be doing), the tuskegee airmen, quinn and bailey's eurotrip). would it have helped if there were two narrators (say, someone like rosie)? idk. gonna sit with that one. if there's a through-line, it's not super obvious like in the other two shows. which is insanely funny to me bc i literally like TP less, but that show's got an Extremely tight through-line all the way down. i can't lie and say it doesn't!
back to budget- i've seen people criticize this show for being called "masters of the air" when there's not much of "the air". ig that's fair, but there's the money issue, again. also, it'd get very repetitive if they were always in "the air". there was enough confusion about identifying who was who with the masks on, so imagine if that was Every Episode. out of All the issues the show has, this is the least issue-y. again, that's just my opinion, and it could change.
another budget thing (i think??)- idk enough about costuming and hair for period pieces so i can't comment on that with my 0 background in it, all i Can say is that i knoooooow people were clowning on marjorie cleven's hair in episode 1 (and i could see why, no such thing as 1940s beach waves). but from what i could understand- that actress' addition was a last-minute thing (bc i had No idea who the hell she was and i already found someone cast for marjorie all the way back in 2021). maybe there's something to say about the quality of rush jobs, but i really do think it was the most last-minute thing bc it came out of Nowhere, and timeline-wise, it looks like that bit was done long after everything else had been filmed. outside looking in, it seems something probably went wrong/didn't work out with who or what they already had and there wasn't enough wiggle room (time and money) to fix it. this isn't me being an apologist (lol), but i feel like a theorist at a big board bc nothing adds up! and i wanna know what happened! i'm just speculating! speculating on this blog is All i did for like Years lmaooo.
this is more of a side thing, but some of the lines in MotA feel really on-the-nose, almost corny. and that was Gonna be a knock against it, but there's some equally Extremely on-the-nose lines in both BoB and TP (Especially in BoB), so if i give MotA shit for it, i'd have to give all three shows shit for it lol. none of them are free of cheese.
another silly aside- no peaches, no main gingers, no main eugenes! we can't have 'em all, but c'mon!
there Is some good tho lol. one thing that MotA really has going for it, that i think the other shows have less of, is- and GOD it feels so weird to call this "world-building" when it's actual goddamn history, but- it's got world-building. maybe that isn't the best word for it. but i like how much Bigger ww2 feels in this show. BoB is one stop, then the next stop, then the next stop, which is, admittedly, good from a narrative-perspective (easy to follow), but not as good when you want a scale of how devastating the war is (in fairness, it was filmed in 2000). even TP feels pretty "enclosed" in a way. there's island-hopping, yeah, but all the damn islands look the same (not including australia lol). it's a theatre of the war we otherwise don't really get to see, but there still isn't all that much to see. it's water and sand and rock and dirt. which is the point, but Whatever! would've been cool if we saw sledge and co. in china, but moving on. MotA's able to really show the scale of it, both in the air and on the ground (that scene in germany during episode 6 was both harrowing and fantastic, also the inclusion of the actual children forced to fight nearer to the war's end in the finale). idk i just liked how it was able to zoom in and zoom out (and in and out again) in a way that the other shows weren't.
another thing it's got that the other shows don't is Really driving home how young everyone is (not "child soldier" young, but damn young). the cast is full of baby faces (rip babyface). a lot of ww2 shows/movies don't bother casting to reflect this, but i think overlooking that takes away from the overall impact. you browse through some old newspaper articles or photos of soldiers during ww2 enough and you're gonna Regularly get hit with the face of someone who looks like they could've sat in the desk next to you during a high school lit class. a lot of those b&w grinning faces look like kids bc they pretty much were (more so if they lied about their age). you don't really get that in BoB or TP (it's Crazy when the real life pics of the soldiers portrayed in those shows look younger than the actors).
i'm mixed about the tuskegee airmen. what we have, i love (thank you, dee rees). unfortunately, my biggest irk is that it leaves me wanting more of them, which i won't ever get. speaking as a black person (not speaking for All black people, just how i personally feel about it), having them included feels like a catch-22. if they weren't included in any capacity (all while knowing there were whole tuskegee airmen in stalag iii with the white main characters), there'd be a problem. however, including them (all while having these time constraints and not enough focus on them) leads to the feeling of having them "tokenized" (which i can see). there's no world where there'd be 50/50 split (even a 70/30 split) bc, at that point, just give them a show of their own. but there'd still be a general annoyance that big budget ww2 shows are only ever white. on the other hand, hanks and spielberg and orloff and miller and all the directors (except dee rees) are white, and how good of a story about black people are you really gonna get from the perspective of nonblack people? that in mind, i personally don't feel put-off by having the three tuskegee airmen in the posters/trailers/promos, bc i just Know there'd be a whole nother problem if they weren't included in them at all despite being in the show for however long (it'd be even worse if they made their pictures smaller). like i don't work in advertising, but i don't know if a "sweet spot" even exists for something like this. people would be pissed off no matter what imo (i'm also speaking with a bias here bc i had to browse through sooooo many comments written by white guys whining and crying and pissing and shitting themselves once they learned that the tuskegee airmen were gonna be in the show in Any capacity, so i'm just cool knowing they're in shambles rn (and josiah cross- he played richard macon- always goes Wild seeing his face in the promos, and his joy is pretty contagious).
i give it somewhere like a 7.5-8/10. 3.75 stars out of 5. not perfect, subject to change, gotta marinate, but i'm overall happy with it! MotA's best episodes are better than many other individual hbo war episodes. should i be grading it using the overall sum of its parts, not just the different parts? idk, i'm not being paid to grade lol.
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humblemediagenius · 4 months
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The need to share my OCs with everyone vs the fear that people won't be FUCKING NORMAL FOR THE LOVE OF GOD
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triaelf9 · 1 year
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ugh I reallllyyyyy didn’t want to get in on this but like
The assumption that all atheists are people who’ve “never touched a religious text in their life” basically says to me you have a specific view of atheists and have probably not known many.
Most of them grew up IN the system and DO know the text and THAT’S why they walk away. 
If you’re gonna make a whole post on ppl not using nuance with CR stuff right now the least you can do is use nuance yourself and not paint an entire group of people with a brush that TV taught you, or a bunch of white men into power *cough* Dawkins *cough* coopted a movement in a society where to not believe in god is synonymous with being immoral.
So just keep in mind, the representation of people without faith that you see on TV or twitter isn’t the majority and 9 times out of 10 isn’t correct at all.
thanks ^_^
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sadlynotthevoid · 4 months
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I was feeling like a bit of slightly-angsty isolation this thursday, so...
AU where, instead of a double transmigration happening, RokSoo transmigrated to ogCale's body, but ogCale was put into a newly made double of his body and confined into a dimension pocket.
And just, no one knows about it and he can't get out until certain conditions are reached. For example: that someone finally gets rid of WS.
Luckily for him, RokSoo and company are rather fast to kill the white star. It only took them two years, way better than in his previous timeline.
Although, those are still two years in which og!Cale, the 40-year-old war soldier turned an 18-year-old time-traveler, had to spend trapped in that place. Completely alone except for the occasional god checking on him, and a few animals a god had the kindness to let for him. (It was Loki, but no one is going to call him out).
Og!Cale is a person who loves easily and deeply but, contrary to his true nature, someone who lived through decades without deep boundaries to gave him feedback. Whether it was during the war that took everyone he knew from him, or before that, with the family he choose to stay at distance and love them from the side-lines. He lived so long without feeling genuine care, making any emotional bond that isn't one-sided, that he's hungry for them.
Being in the past, where everyone he loves hadn't died yet, where they will live, and being so close— just a dimensional door away, really— but not being able to see them, hear them, nor even talk to them... It hurts.
He's happy and so, so glad. They're alive. They can laugh and eat and breath again— and, someday, he will see them again. Even if they don't know how to act with him and is uncomfortable. Even if, most probably, they don't know he's not there and don't miss him, he will see them again.
So, yeah, he's fine with this situation. He accepted this.
That doesn't mean that the waiting doesn't suck. He, a freedom loving person, trapped in the godly version of a safehouse. Most of the days it's only he, his thoughts and the ridiculous massive library Athena managed to fit in here. And his friends, the animals, of course.
Inside of that lonely place, of course, Cale gets attached to the animals that are by his side everyday. He was already an animal lover, to begin with. The little guys who just go through their lives being absolutely adorable and are more loyal than most people around... How can he not love them?
Besides, Athanasia, the griffin, gives the best cuddles he has ever had.
He gets used, eventually. It's not like he never had lived in a big house where the only beings around wouldn't speak more than three words to him. (Well, at least the animals try to talk with him. He just needed to learn what they mean.)
And Cale can do whatever he wants here. If he wants to play the violin or paint, do acrobatics or keep his training, he can just do it. There's no need to hide. No need to restrain himself.
There's no one here to get sad at her memories. No one to spread rumors about 'skills' or 'talents'. No one to turn his interests into weapons against his own family by comparing Bassen to him.
Eventually, it feels like a different kind of freedom here.
—And then he gets out.
#so he has to stay there until the things with ws finish#he's so bored and trying not to have bad thoughts#so he keeps himself bussy with anything he can think of#the library? he read it thrice already#he plays with every single of the animals there#he teaches the parrot to sing and give sassy remarks#he plays catch the ball with the griffin#and fake fights with the fenrir#he also talks with them all the time as if he could understand them and the gods don't know if he's joking or not#except loki. he knows the truth#he tried every single hobby that he could think of at least once#kept some of them but he's never doing pottery ever again#too much mud under his fingers. his brain and og!cale himself didn't like it#krs!cale is gonna be jealous that someone else got the chance to live his slacker life#while he was running around dealing with terrorists#but og!cale had had enough isolation for a life time (hah)#the god of death is going to be in some deep shit once they find out#og!cale probably would try to explain that#no. it was not kidnapping. i accepted this#“i mean. being trapped in a dimensional pocket where you can lose track of the time easily is not that fun#but it wasn't that bad either. I had animals with me"#and accidentally make it worst#though they get distracted when og!cale presents his pets to the children and mary#og!cale henituse#og cale#og cale henituse#og!cale#athanasia the griffin#she's baby and could kill a man with a single paw#but she most likely won't
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capybaraonabicycle · 4 months
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Anne: I want to be like you: Unmarried because I don't give a shit about romance.
Josephine: Anne, I'm a lesbian. And my wife just died.
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valleyfthdolls · 5 months
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Fnaf fans who actually like Fazbear Frights are god's strongest soldiers
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suncaptor · 3 months
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nothing will make you sympathise with conspiracy theorist ideology more than having a seemingly rare reaction to a vaccine lmao.
#reading articles that try to falsify genuine incorrect information about the covid vaccines from 2021 is making me feel insane#'there's no way the covid vaccine can trigger an autoimmune disorder' uhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHH#factually extremely wrong!#they're soooo condescening too like why on EARTH do you think people who are genuinely sick or scared would believe you.#they'll be like there's no scientific evidence that anyone can be harmed by the covid vaccine <3 blatantly untrue.#I know that part of this is retrospect like obviously since more studies have come out and all#but it's infurirating bc they're from the time *I* was having those symptoms *and* telling doctors about it *and* being told the connection#to my other severe symptoms from the covid vaccine were Utterly Impossible (since proven false) and that if the symptoms WERE related#it meant i had a life threatening illness at worst and had a high chance of losing my vision at best#likeeeeeeeee#doctors still DO NOT know what the fuck they're doing do NOT trust anyone who gives ANY 100% answers#i don't know why i'm doing this i just said to stop obsessing but i'm just reading pages and articles on countering misinformation to make#sure i don't -- i want to know the conspiracy theories to recognise them immediately right#and then people are just saying bullshit to defend themselves#i mean most of the anti covid vacc people were also far right so i don't have too much sympathy for their vaccine ideology#but like. fucking hell what a way to push people into conspiracies.#you CAN'T counter misinformation by SPREADING MORE MISINFORMATION#just because it SOUNDS BETTER and MORE REASSURING to say there's not chance of harm doesn't mean you should#there's A LOW chance of harm THAT IS MUCH MUCH less high than the impacts of covid#god I'm pissed off. 2021 i was so fucking terrified of spreading this shit just by talking about my lived experiences.#to say i was not taking the pandemic seriously OR anti vax is so blatantly ridiculous considering who I am as a person but that doesn't mea#that the covid vaccine specifically didn't make me ill ://////#delete
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