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imagine-docx · 4 years

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the cute barista and his crisis.

Summary: You spent the night at home, while your roommates were out partying. Suddenly, a random number called you ranting to you about how much he hates life. [college!barista!]

Warnings: hella sexual jokes and references, swearing, and hating post-secondary, as per usual.

A/N: hope you guys are still doing well and i hope you guys are staying safe! 💛 - Amanda

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Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday consisted of either early morning classes, midday classes, and the occasional class that ran past 8 pm. Fridays were the only day you can claim as yours, but of course, you had to work.

It was Thursday and the cool New York air was engulfing you and your roommates as the three of you made your way to the usual coffee shop that was a little bit off campus. “Gonna ogle the cute barista again?” Wanda nudged.

“Ah yes, young love,” Nat snickered.

“Shut up,” you felt the heat rise up to your cheeks, “I think he’s cute, but he probably has so many girls fawning over him.”

“Remember, we are the one cute girls in the coffee shop,” Nat said, opening the door, “After you, m’lady.”

That resulted in you and Wanda letting out a laugh, “Okay incel,” Wanda responded. The three of you glanced up at the menu, “I’m feeling tea today, but what kind?” Wanda said.

“After that comment, poison flavoured,” Nat muttered.

You let out a laugh, “You’re quite spicy today, go for a spiced tea.”

Wanda stuck her tongue out at Nat, “That’s why she’s my favourite roommate,” Glancing back at the menu, “Is Russian spiced tea good?”

“I don’t know, ask your favourite roommate,” Nat said.

“Bitch.”

The cute blond barista came up to the register, “You ready? Or do you need another minute?”

You felt Nat pinch your left ass cheek, and you nudge your elbow into her ribcage, “Yeah. Can I get a caramel iced coffee?”

“Of course, what else?” He asked.

“Can I get a cinnamon dolce latte?” Nat spoke keeping her hand near your ass cheeks.

“Of course, and for you?” He indirectly asked Wanda.

“Russian spiced tea please.” She spoke.

“That’s $17.60, here or to go?” He asked.

“Here,” Wanda said, while digging in her backpack for her wallet, “Credit please?”

“Aww, we love it when our sugar daddy treats us,” You snickered, resulting in a laugh from Nat and the barista.

“It’s only because she bought dinner and you bought dessert last night,” she grumbled.

“Go take a seat, and I’ll bring the drinks over when they’re done.” He spoke, which resulted in a hums of thank you from the three of you and you guys walked over to the usual booth you guys inhabited when you were here.

“Is there a reason that my poor ass cheek got abused?” You asked.

“He was checking you out,” Nat bluntly stated.

“No he wasn’t, he was doing his job.” You stated.

“And I am a natural redhead,” she sarcastically said.

“Wait, it's dye?” Wanda practically cried out.

The three of you laughed, and went over your plans for the next weekend. Nat had work and was doing rehearsal for the Russian dance competition that was happening in a few weeks. Wanda had to work and was also seeing her brother Pietro on Sunday. You on the other hand had to work, and had to have a comparative essay done by Monday.

“You’re so lucky you’re done your midterms,” Wanda said, “I’m still struggling trying to wrap my head around platyhelminths.”

“But see, you watched me and laughed at me for only surviving off of coffee and fruit snacks for three weeks straight. Now I am prospering and living my life and you have a midterm on Monday,” you said.

“You looked like death around the apartment,” Nat laughed, and the cute barista brought over your drinks.

“Russian spiced tea, cinnamon dolce latte, and caramel iced coffee,” he said, passing around the drinks, “And a tiramisu square.”

“Uh, we didn’t order this?” Nat asked.

“The table over there sent it,” he responded, pointing his head over to where a group of boys were sitting.

“Thank you,” the three of you hummed and there went the barista.

“You know,” Nat leaned into you, “He has a nice ass.”

“Nat,” You hissed.

“America is proud of that ass,” Wanda snickered.

Suddenly the group of boys that sent the dessert got louder, trying to get your attention. You rolled your eyes, “God, I hate men.”

“Except for the pretty blond one with a nice ass,” Nat said, digging into the tiramisu.

“I second that,” Wanda said, taking a bite of the piece on her spoon.

Suddenly the frat boy cult got even louder, Nat rolled her eyes, and moved your hair from the base of your neck, “What are you-” Then came a long lick from the base of your neck to your jawline. Suddenly the frat boy cult shut up, “Jesus Christ, warn a girl.”

“Why are you acting all shy now? You weren’t this shy last weekend when I was doing body shots off of you at the back of the apartment,” Nat said, nonchalantly.

“You may have shut up the frat boy cult, but the cute barista is so red you can confuse him for a bottle of ketchup.” Wanda stated.

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Two weeks have passed, and you would go into the coffee shop whenever you had over an hour worth of a gap, or before work. Today is one of those days. It was Friday, and you were due to start your shift in forty-five minutes.

Walking into the shop, there was the cute barista working the front. You didn’t catch the way his eyes practically lit up upon seeing you. “Just you today?” He asked.

“Yes sir,” you said, giving him a smile.

“Caramel iced coffee?” He asked.

“Of course,” you said, digging in your bag for your wallet.

“Don’t worry, it's on the house.” He said, “Here or to go?”

“To go, please.”

“You got it doll,” and with that you stood off to the side and waited for him to make your drink.

“Caramel iced coffee,” he called out.

“Thank you, have a good day,” you called out before making your way to your shift.

“You know you look like a lovesick puppy,” Bucky said to Steve.

“That obvious?” Steve asked.

“Yeah. Also, remember, Happy is gonna take that coffee out of your paycheque,” Bucky said patting Steve’s back.

“If it’s for her, Happy can have my entire paycheque.” Steve responded, going to clean up.

“Ugh, teenagers and their hormones,” Bucky spoke.

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You, Wanda, and Nat sat on your shared living room floor eating the steamed dumplings and sushi that you ordered for dinner. “So you saw the cute barista boy today,” Wanda said, “Soy sauce please.”

Nat handed her the sauce before taking a california roll for herself, “His ass still thick?”

You nearly choked on the dumpling you were eating, “Fucking Christ, Nat.”

“You can’t miss that ass!” Nat tried justifying, “He walks in, and his ass walks in five minutes later.”

Wanda choked on her iced tea, “He wore this white shirt that was way too tight for him, God that left nothing to the imagination,” you said recalling the way his muscles moved when making your coffee.

“Someone’s having a wet dream tonight,” Wanda said.

You threw a soy sauce packet at her head, “No! I don’t even know his name.”

“See that’s a problem, she can’t moan his name if she doesn’t know his name.” Nat laughed.

You threw a soy sauce packet at her head, “The both of you need to get laid.”

“So do you sweetheart, and by the big muscular blond with the thick ass who works at The Petite Bean.” Wanda said, nearly dodging another soy sauce packet.

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The next Friday night you were at home by yourself eating a sandwich from the bodega that was next to your building. Wanda and Nat went to this party, you wanted to go, but after your shift, you were exhausted and just decided to call it a night.

Taking the last bite of your turkey sandwich, you got up and threw everything out, and decided to go and take a long hot shower. You stood at the tv debating whether or not you should turn off the documentary on whales, but you decided not to as it helps serve as background noise.

You showered and threw on a massive NYU hoodie and some pyjama shorts. Getting out of the shower, you headed back to the kitchen, dug around in the cabinets for a snack of a sort, and headed back to your position on the couch.

You were scrolling through your Instagram, when a random number called you. You answered because you never know it could be Nat or Wanda in trouble. “Hello?”

You heard a shaky breath from the other side, “Oh sorry, I have the wrong number.”

“Hey, before you hang up, are you okay?” You asked.

“Not really-”

You cut him off, “Did you want to talk about it? I have the time.”

“Are you sure? I don’t wanna bother you,” the man from the other side of the line said.

“Of course, shoot,” you said.

“Midterms got the worst of me. I’m practically failing chemistry, why did I take chem? Like I’m an art major, the fuck am I doing in science? Then the girl I dated for a little keeps coming by the place I work at with the man she cheated on me with, and that shit still stings. Then, there’s this cute girl who keeps coming by the place I work, and I can’t seem to talk to her. She’s like this ball of sunshine, and I don’t think I can talk to her. Do you have anything fucked up happening in your life? Or is the lord hating on me?”

You laughed, “Unfortunately, no. With the chem thing, don’t be so hard on yourself. Courses get to the best of us, we are so reliant on a GPA, when it doesn’t even guarantee a job after practically killing ourselves for this degree. Failing one course isn’t so bad, just don’t fail more than three, that might result in academic probation. Honestly, if she cheated on you, fuck her. She doesn’t deserve any of your attention, if she was the one who gave you up. And with the other girl, just slowly ease her into it, ask her how her day has been, ask her about the weather, if she’s holding a book or something, try to bond with her about that.”

“You sound like a psych major,” he joked.

“Psych minor,” you corrected, “Socio major. From what I know you can’t be a science major. So what do you major in?”

“Art history, and minor in regular history.”

“Oh, we got a huge history fan don’t we?” You joked.

“Biggest nerd in Brooklyn.”

That same night the two of you stayed talking until 4:30 am, before he heard you yawning and telling you to get some sleep. You both bidded your goodnights and the moment your head hit the pillow, you knocked out.

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The following morning, or afternoon at that point. You stumbled into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee, and heard Wanda and Nat groaning about how they need Advil. You opened the door to Nat’s room and saw the two of them practically cuddling. You threw two bottles of water, and the bottle of Advil at them before heading to the washroom to brush your teeth.

Once you were done, you sat on the counter of the kitchen drinking your coffee, you heard stumbling from the hallway. Suddenly, a disheveled Nat appeared, she was sporting bedhead, smeared makeup, a black lace bra and some random sleeping shorts that looked like they belonged to Wanda. “Good morning sweetheart,” you cooed.

She flipped you off before making herself a cup of coffee, “Never drinking again.”

“Nat,” Wanda whined, “Please I need a cuddle buddy.”

“You have another roommate,” Nat reminded her.

Wanda nudged your legs open and curled up into your frame, “My favourite.”

You laughed while patting her head, “What happened?”

“So much booze, free booze.” Nat stated.

Free booze to university kids was like feeding candy to a toddler. “Alright cuddlebug. I have errands to do, I gotta go shower.” You said trying to push away Wanda.

“No, please don’t.” Wanda latching onto you harder.

“She’s gonna make her way down to Manhattan to see the cute barista,” Nat joked.

“Harhar, I’m going to the bank and I need to mail out this return. The green dress was too big, had to order a size down.” You said, finishing off your coffee, finally pushing off Wanda, “Also why the fuck would I go to Manhattan to see the barista.”

“Dick makes you do crazy things baby girl.” Nat said.

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While you were getting dressed your mind ran onto the man who called you last night and ranted to you about his life. You decided to call him back and check up on him. After three rings he picked up, “Hello?”

“Hey, you called me last night and we talked for an hour and a half about some super deep stuff, you okay?”

“Oh, yeah, thanks for checking up on me.” He spoke.

“Not a problem, if you ever need to rant, you can always text me.” You said shoving your wallet into your bag.

“Are you sure? I don’t wanna burden.” He asked.

“If you need a friend, I am here for you.” You said.

You two exchanged names, before both of you had to go. And that started your texting relationship with a man named Steve Rogers.

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You came back home from your errands trip and brought bagels for the two hungover disasters you call your roommates. You walked back in and saw Wanda and Nat under the pink fur blanket watching the whale documentary you were watching last night. “My baby is back,” Wanda said excitedly.

“I bring bagels, because bagels make us happy when we are hungover.” You said placing the bag on the table, “Two rainbow bagels with strawberry cream cheese. Two poppy seed bagels with tuna salad on both.” You said handing each of them their own bagels.

You grabbed your own two before plopping next to them, “If barista boy doesn’t domesticate you, I will.” Nat said.

You laughed before you felt your phone buzz in your pocket, you got a message from Steve asking about the bagel place you usually get your stuff from. “Who’s Steve?” Wanda asked.

“New mans?” Nat exclaimed.

“You’re replacing barista boy before you could even dick him down?” Wanda cried out.

“No, Jesus. I haven’t even met Steve-” Wrong phrasing you used there.

“You’re back on tinder?” Wanda asked, “I thought we were doing it together.”

“No, he accidentally called me last night and we talked for an hour.” You said nonchalantly taking a bite out of your bagel.

“A threesome with barista boy and Steve? Wow someone’s getting some,” Nat said, wiggling her eyebrows.

“Jesus Christ Nat.”

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As per usual, you made your way into the cafe getting coffee before your shift. Noticing the barista, you again missed the gleam in his eyes when he saw you. He mustered up the courage, “Hey, how are you?”

“I’m good, how are you?”

“I’m doing good,” You smiled.

Steve felt his knees weaken at your smile, “The usual?”

“The usual,” you said, paying and going to message the roommate group chat about the tight light blue shirt barista boy was wearing today.

“Alright, here you go.” He said sliding you the coffee and a straw.

“Thank you, have a good day,” you said before slipping out of the shop and heading to work.

“So you took the girls advice and asked her about her day, look at you making big moves.” Bucky nudged Steve.

“One step at a time Buck,” he said, going to clean up his station.

“Hey, you better have not given her another free coffee,” Bucky called out.

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After several weeks of messaging Steve, you learned he also attended NYU and both of you worked around your schedules, trying to meet up. The two of you finally decided to meet on campus. You picked a morning where you, Nat and Wanda had a two hour gap just in case something happened and he was in fact a 50 year old pervert with a thing for third year students.

You: hey i’m in the student centre

Steve: Hey, I’m sitting, I’m wearing a black jacket and a white t-shirt

You looked up and almost screamed, as if the gods were playing a joke on you. It was your cute barista boy. Okay, being rational, he could happen to be here at the same time, wearing the same out- nope, no way. “Steve?” You asked, approaching the table.

Looking up from his phone, he was shocked as well, “H-hi,” he stuttered out.

“Can I sit?” You asked.

“Of course.”

“So I guess you were helping me, try and talk to you,” he finally spoke out.

“Wait, what?” You asked, confused.

“The girl I was messaging you about, was you,” he sheepishly said.

You didn’t know how to respond, “Really?”

“Yeah, if you don’t feel the same that’s okay.” Steve said looking down at his fingers.

You took his hand in yours, “No, I like you too.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, Nat keeps trying to get me to ask you out. But I kept talking myself out of it.” You said.

“How about I treat you to the finest thing this campus has to offer and we can talk about how we both are idiots,” he offered.

“It better be the Wendy’s,” you joked.

“Only the finest for the finest,” he winked at you, resulting in the blush staining your cheeks. He stood up and put his hand out, upon standing up you took his hand and was about to exit the student centre.

You heard Nat speak loudly to Wanda, “She’s getting dick, I’m so proud of her.” You wanted the ground to create a blackhole and swallow you whole.

Until you heard another voice, “BuckBuck! Our baby Steve is all grown up and getting pussy.”

You looked to see Steve blushing, turning back and flipping him off, “Fuck off Sam.”

Of course, both of your roommates were the worst.

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purplesurveys · 4 years

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763

Why did you last feel like crying? My thesis was making me anxious and the songs off of Petals for Armor are still very fresh and are resonating with me very strongly for now, so those things happening at the same time nearly made me cry over breakfast.

How long ago and why did you last feel infuriated? Infuriated is a strong word. I suppose I last felt it when I heard the news of the police shooting a former soldier with PTSD for going out without his face mask on to get groceries. You don’t fucking KILL anyone for not having a mask, you educate them and you fucking give them one.

Do emotions control you or do you control your emotions? Uhhh it really depends. Most of the time I always want to address stuff maturely and make sure my emotions are in check before I respond to anything; but there are also times I’ll give myself a treat and allow myself to be petty, letting my emotions control me.

Do you keep your friends secrets/private information to yourself? Some secrets will make it to Gabie, but I mainly tell her only because she’s so forgetful and will forget most details in the next hour. I don’t tell her much more personal secrets, like if someone came out to me.

What negative quality do your friends bring up the most? We don’t really have talks where we talk about our negative qualities; my friends and I do have similar talks, but instead what we do is we’ll raise events in the past where one of us may have annoyed another and be like, “I actually didn’t like when you did/said this or that before.” I’m lucky to have good friends who can be honest and mature about this kind of stuff.

What quality do you think you have that others don't think you do? You’d have to ask them first. I don’t always keep track of how people think of me.

Do you often "jump" to conclusions? Only when I’m expecting a worst-case scenario to happen. I like to always expect the worst so that the actual outcome doesn’t disappoint me as much.

Do you find being alone with strangers scary, interesting or indifferent? It ranges from wary to completely uncomfortable. I never find the prospect of being surrounded by strangers ‘interesting.’

Do you think you know a lot about the world? Definitely not. I’m incredibly young and I know very little outside of my home and school, so I’m currently holding a weird excitement for graduating and getting a job and finally getting to know the rest of the world bit by bit.

What about the world do you wish you never found out? I don’t think like that. I embrace reality lol give me all the bad, worse, and worst news.

Do you know first aid? We had a) health classes throughout high school that taught us first aid and b) a couple of first aid seminars for NSTP in college. Our final exam in freshman year was for each of us to demonstrate CPR to a mannequin. But for some reason, I still haven’t gotten basic first aid down to a T. I think because I’ve never had to use my learnings in an emergency situation, I always end up forgetting them over time.

Does the sight of blood make you feel sick? Oh my god fuck yes, especially my own. Gabie’s nose also bleeds all the time and I always have to excuse myself because I can’t handle the blood, but it also makes me feel like shit that I can’t even help my own girlfriend lmao. I find it so weird because I’ll have no problem watching pro wrestling which has so much more legit blood in it.

Does your first name have an L in it? It does not, but my second and middle names do.

Middle name have a C in it? No. My last name does. You’re always one name off hahaha.

Last name have a R in it? No, but my first does. Catch up bruh.

Do your initials spell a legitimate word? If so, what? No.

The word above, does it have any connection to you at all?

Do you prefer classic rock or nope alternative? I have no idea what nope alternative is but that’s a hilarious typo if it’s one. I do listen to alternative music, but nothing classic rock.

Do you like Kings of Leon? Just their songs that went on to become popular.

How about The Script? Ah no, was never a fan. I don’t get the appeal of their songs, but they’re so wildly popular here I can’t even begin to tell you just how much. They’ve been to Manila 4 or 5 times, which is already essentially equivalent to a million times when it comes to international acts coming to the Philippines. A lot of artists come here, but very very few come back.

Does crying make you feel better? It doesn’t make me feel better, but it does serve as a nice release.

Do you know a girl called Becca? Yup, one of Rita’s older sisters.

How about a guy called Gregory? Not that name exactly but the Spanish/Italian version, Gregorio. We called him Greg. He was a super brief member of our org but he ghosted us not long after he passed the application.

Does someones background effect whether you'll be friends with them or not? Background effect made me imagine different auras that people would come with if that we’re possible, like stars or hearts hahahaha. ANYWAY it would definitely depend on what aspect of ‘background’ we’re talking about. Someone’s ethnic or racial background wouldn’t bother me at all, but if they just came out of prison for raping someone I wouldn’t want to be around them, especially if their behavior is still a bit off.

How about their religious background? I preferably wouldn’t want to hang out with anyone who’s a devout, by-the-book Christian because our beliefs would wildly clash and they’ll just ruin any conversation. I wouldn’t even be able to talk about my girlfriend, for instance.

If someone admitted cheating in a past relationship of theirs, would you trust them? No.

Do you drink tea and/or coffee every day? I used to drink coffee everyday this quarantine, but I had to stop because I was starting to get headaches often. I drink it probably 2-3 times a week now.

Did you ever want to be a cook as a kid? Not really. I don’t think I ever said “I want to be a chef like my dad,” or something along those lines as a kid.

How about a fashion designer? No.

Do you wish that magic was real? Not really. I’m fine with the fact that they’re all tricks, it actually makes it more entertaining that way.

What food would you love to wipe off the face of the earth? Eh, at least one person likes each kind of food and I wouldn’t wanna rob them of their joy.

Can you use a bottle opener? I haven’t even tried using one.

Do you own a cheese grater? Yup.

What time will it be in 38 minutes time? 7:18 PM.

What day/date will it be in 11 days time? It’ll be May 21st, a Thursday.

Have you ever owned a pet fish? Yup, just several goldfish as a kid.

Do you prefer fire or ice? Ice.

Do you rap along with rap songs? If I memorize the verses then yeah I can’t help but rap along.

When happy, do you become more talkative? I think so. I get very chatty when with Gabie so that’s probably why.

Bowling or sailing? Why? Bowling, only because I’ve never been sailing. I bet if I were to sail, I’d prefer that, though. < Yup, exactly this. Bowling is fun though!

What colour is your kettle? The one we have is silver. I don’t have my own.

How about your microwave? It is black.

Do you prefer sitting in the front or back of a car? Most of the time I’m the one driving, so that makes me pick front by default haha. When I’m not driving though I really prefer sitting at the back as I rarely get to feel like a passenger anymore.

How about in a train? On the bus? I’ve only ridden a train once but wasn’t able to form an opinion about it. When it comes to the bus, it’s always fun being at the back haha especially when I’m riding with friends.

Do you care about politics? Yes, but my concern is mostly for our own. I’m not up to speed with other countries’ governments; I only know enough to form a general opinion about their highest leader, like how Trump is a piece of shit.

Obama or Bush? Obama.

Blair or Brown? I don’t pay much attention to UK politics. < This. But the royal family, that’s a different story HAHAHA

When did you last cook something from scratch? I *helped* my dad bread chicken several few weeks ago, if that counts.

What things make you jealous? I don’t feel jealous a lot, but when I do it’s usually just FOMO.

Are you offended easily by non politically correct language? Sure, especially if the people using them aren’t willing to be educated.

Do you think the censors/fcc go a bit too far or are just right? Can’t relate.

Do you feel hungry, thirsty, sleepy or none of the above? I’m hungry since it’s time for dinner. I’m just waiting for my dad to finsh up cooking.

What's your I.Q? I dunno, I’ve never had it checked.

What's your Mum's Mum called? How about your Dad's Dad? I call both sets of grandparents the traditional Filipino way, Lola for my grandmas and Lolo for my grandpas.

Do you prefer crepes, pancakes or waffles? Waffles > pancakes > crepes. I’ve never even had crepes before.

Do you have ice-cream in your fridge right now? Yeah I think so. We always have enough supply of it in the freezer because both of my parents love their ice cream.

How about chicken nuggets? I think we do but it hasn’t been touched in a while since my dad has preferred preparing real food throughout the quarantine haha.

Do you eat fish often? Yes, both cooked and as sushi. Fish is a huge part of Filipino cuisine because duh, we’re surrounded by water. My family will typically have tuyo, danggit, or dilis (kinds of sun-dried fish) for breakast and you can always find a fish dish or two at birthday parties, whether on its own or relleno (stuffed).

Have you ever taken a martial art? Which one{s}? I haven’t. There was a time I wanted to, but I didn’t pursue it because I thought I was too thin and unfit to try it out.

Do you know anyone who is scared of you? Probably.

What person who has died would you bring back and why? Nacho. It wasn’t his time yet.

Do you like watermelon? I like some watermelon-flavored stuff like popsicles, but I don’t eat the fruit.

Can you remember the month of your first kiss? January 24, 2015. Couple steps ahead of ya.

Do you make friends easily? I make acquaintances easily, but I choose who to let into my inner circle. I’d make more friends if I wanted to, but I just choose not to.

What makes you different from everyone else? I honestly don’t know. My interests are pretty common and I haven’t had anything super unique happen to me.

I give you a piece of paper. What do you draw/write on it? Practice my alma mater’s penmanship, which is always my go-to when I’m asked to write anything haha.

What pictures or photos are up in your lounge? Is this a Myspace thing? Lol I don’t really have my photos ‘up’ anywhere on my social media; my accounts just show the latest ones I uploaded.

Do you like purple and white patterned things? It wouldn’t be the first one I’d choose, no.

Do you know anyone called Pipa? No, but my sister went to school with a Pipay. I think her full name was Piper.

I say purple, you think... My great-grandmother. She loved purple and had it everywhere in her home.

What do you think is the most interesting thing about you? I don’t know. I’d rather people who know me answer this as they might be able to come up with different answers, and it’d be interesting to see how they see me.

Do you like being complimented or does it make you uncomfortable? It’s nice to be recognized but overall I’m shit at accepting them.

Does the description of your starsign correspond with your personality? My astrology-believing friends tell me that they match, but I don’t believe in astrology so I don’t think about it all that much and mostly think of it as coincidence.

Do you have a photo album? Yeah my mom was big on albums from when my siblings and I were infants to when we reached pre-teen years. Each of us have two photo albums.

What artists’ paintings do you find the most beautiful? Monet’s.

What about the most disturbing? I find it more sad than disturbing, but I’ve always been affected by artists who made self-portraits as their health was deteriorating over the years.

Have you ever gone to a camp or summer school? I attended a summer sports clinic for swimming when I was 9.

What was your favourite cartoon as a child? Spongebob. Fairly OddParents was a very very very close second because it was just as funny as Spongebob.

What was your biggest fear as a child? Introducing myself. I always got bullied for my name and got called a tomboy/boy for it more than once, so I was conditioned to be nervous whenever I had to introduce myself and say my own name.

Would you rather be able to fly or breathe underwater? Fly, so I can travel anywhere hah.

What about invisibility or mindreading? Probably invisibility. There are stuff I’d discover in reading minds that I think I’m better off not knowing and I find it a tad bit invasive than being invisible.

Do you like what you see in the mirror? Sure. Just not so much these days since I never get to dress up or fix myself up anymore.

Which stereotype do you dislike the most? Offensive ones.

Can you remember all your past teachers names? There’ll be some grade-subject combos I’ve forgetten about by now, like I no longer remember my 3rd grade English teacher for one. But my memory in general is still quite impressive and I remember most of my past teachers.

Do you like talent shows? Which ones? I wouldn’t tune in to them religiously but I do love Golden Buzzer compilations from America’s/Britain’s Got Talent.

Have you ever failed an important exam? In what? Only in high school, and it was the more advanced math/science subjects that I really could not start to care for, like chemistry and calculus.

Do you find people taller than you intimidating? Kinda? Filipinos are very tiny people so whenever I meet a foreigner I always have to crane my neck all the way up and it does scare me a little bit hahaha.

Do you think you are better than people of a different country/background? Not at all.

What's your favourite thing about your country? I suppose the tourism side of it is wonderful. We’ve always been known for our hospitality, our tour guides are always so friendly and funny, we have beautiful beaches and islands, and Filipinos are generally a nice people and very easy to get along with.

What's your least favourite thing about your country? The colonization, the government, and people who continue to glorify the government as if they can’t do anything wrong.

Who is your favourite bzoinker? I have several favorite survey-makers but I’m too shy to mention them on here lol.

What websites do you have bookmarked? I have soooooooooooo many bookmarks.

Do you use bows and ribbons to decorate your gifts? I’ll stick a bow on a Christmas gift if I have one, but otherwise no. < Same, I only get real decorative for Christmas.

Do you listen to the same type of music as your parents? What type is that? Not at all. My mom is really into cheesy 80s and 90s love songs and I just can’t imagine myself listening to those on my own time lmao. My dad doesn’t have much of a music taste.

What TV show scared you as a kid? Mr. Meaty. What the fuck was that. < HAHAHAHAHAHA this fucking show. That was such a mess; I never understood it but I found it so hilarious. Anyway, I don’t think I was scared of any show as a kid.

Family Guy, The Simpsons or South Park? Why? The Simpsons. Family Guy’s jokes can sometimes go too far, and isn’t South Park just blatantly offensive? The humor in The Simpsons is just right for me.

#survey #surveys

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chatchalita · 5 years

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I feels like writing something, since I rarely write things these days and I feels like my English will go down the drain soon, if I’m not writing.

Since I impulsively bought a plane ticket again, it’s time for me to summarize my other two trips I had this year as like a build-up for my upcoming new adventure the Taiwan trip in November.

This first post is about my side trip from business trip...I guess

I don’t know how I usually start my traveling post, I guess I start with a disclaimer that this post is not informative at all, just me writing about my trip for future me to reminisce about it.

It has been 2 years since I last visit Mikawa Anjo, the last time was for internship purpose, (which I happened to not write about the experience :/) I was greeted by the familiar feelings, I missed this place. I finally semi-ly made it back. I worked hard in this company for the past 1 year and I feels like it paid off a little.

This trip was my 6th time in Japan and took 14 days (Aug, 18th- Sep, 1st). Since this is a business trip, I’m able to ride Thai Airways, finally something that not low-cost and I’m able to load my luggage lol. The flight is TG644, I arrived at Japan around 8am, I decided to stop by my hotel for luggage storage, then go on an adventure to Okazaki Castle.

Before Okazaki Castle, I visited about 6 Japanese castles, so I know what I should expected from the castle. And spoiler alert, it was disappointing for me, I don’t know why, maybe because I’m burned out from visiting castle, or maybe because I saw a greater castle? Or maybe because I expected something from the castle that said to be the birthplace of Tokugawa Ieyasu? The Evangelion exhibition saved this castle from a total disappointment, at least there are something interesting.

After the castle I went back to my hotel and then meet up with my boss and some Japanese co-workers for a little nomikai. Alcohol intake, not that much.

The second day, which is Monday, it’s the old atmosphere everybody was as welcoming as ever. I only spent half day there because I had to visit other supplier factory in Gifu, I’m still cursing myself for not taken any photos in my phone (for the location purpose), then that night another nomikai, and this time I drunk so much sake that actually made me drunk and made me worry for tomorrow. I’m not the kind of person to have hangover, so I didn’t worried about that, I was more worry about how much alcohol I will have left in my blood, since Tuesday, I will have to attend welcome party.

Tuesday, another nomikai, thank god my body can handle another round. That day, I was not drunk whatsoever, but I did drink Calpis sawla for at least 5 glasses, and other other things...overall probaby 15-20 glasses of alcohol. Those are nothing to sake I previously drunk on Monday though.

Wednesday, nothing worth mentioning ohh except I walked 2 km for Matsumoto Kiyoshi to get the stuffs ppl asked me to buy for them.

Thursday, yakiniku with my co-workers.

Friday, actually nothing?

So one week has passed, most the weekdays activity either hung out” with my co-workers or went to grocery shopping, my co-workers (in Thailand) asked me to buy kimono for them, and they keep called it yukata. It was a short kimono that you wear with hakama, these people want to wear them as “fashion”, these really culture appropriation *sigh*

Saturday, Saturday, where did I go on Saturday...oh Meiji Mura...again. I actually went there two years ago to dress in Hakama while this year is to see very small fireworks with actual same age people. Because I already went there once, not many pictures were taken

Sunday, the manager in charge of me took me to Iga, MIe to see some ninja. Iga Ueno castle is actually in the list of castle I want to visit. If you talking about Iga ninja, Hattori Hanzo, probably the famous ninja from that “school”?

The ninja demonstration was interesting, idk what I expected, I guess I did low-key expected movie stunts ninjutsu, but it turned out to be just ninja technique.

I do loves Iga Ueno Castle since I could see both the life of ninja and samurai in one place. The ninja village is really fun place and touristy.

So far the day went very well and pretty much free since the manager paid for everything, but my dumbass has to be extra and went to Nishio to see lantern festival (alone). And you know what, the taxi cost 6000 yen round-trip just for the station to the festival ground. And this is what 6000 yen gave me...

It only 8pm and the festival already over. I learned something new every time I went to Japan. Apparently, 8pm is late for the festival. I live in the city, 8pm is still early for me.

Monday, kaiten sushi with the same age people

Tuesday, in the afternoon I went to Toyohashi to see printing factory and the person asked me what is the food that I want to eat but have not eaten yet, and I replied “unagi”, which is something very expensive.

I think this was about 5000 yen for a set. In the evening, he treated me tempura like in actually tempura shop, where the chef actually fried tempura in front of us.

As a nekojita, I was suffering but it was so delicious.

Wednesday, I got stood up by the manager that took care of me 2 years ago. No biggie.

Thursday & Friday, spent my last day in Anjo as lonely as ever. (and spent 2 hours try to figure how to pack everything in my suitcase because of what people asked me to buy)

Saturday, I bought a day tour from Klook to Takayama and Shirakawago, the thing about tour is it convenience and probably cheaper than finding the transportation myself, but the downfall always, the time. There are not enough time!! I guess that is something I have to accept when it a day trip. In the bus, I was the only non-Chinese speaking person there.

Takayama...I was eating, so I didn’t had much time to explore, but you know what I feels like if you went to Kyoto, you don’t need to go to Takayama. It has it own charmed, I just didn’t had enough time to enjoy its charm.

The raw beef is the best out of the 3, this Hida beef made visiting Takayama worth it.

Next stop, Shirakawago, the highlight of the trip. The sunlight and everything made the pictures look colorful and amazing. The photos taken there was one of my favorite set of photos of all my trips.

Shirakawago, a place I would loved to visit again during winter and spent more time there. Due to the lack of time, I can only take pictures of here and there instead of absorb myself. I wanted to visit more museum, more historical stuff, but the time is limited :/

After the day tour, I went to Hikone and stay at the hotel there.

Sunday, the last day let’s make it count. I first planned to go see Tonbokiri in western shiga (which I forgot the name of the place), but because it was so far away and I don’t want to wake up early and my main goal was HIkone castle. I ended up with visited Nagahama Castle in the morning. That Sunday probably the day I cursed google map the most because the train schedule in there just not right! I didn’t missed the train, but like the map told me it departs at 9, I arrived at 8:50, the trained in the google map is the train that not stop in this station like what’s going on. And that happened a lot that day, I probably spent like almost 2 hour in (different) train station because the time in google map was earlier than the actual train.

Anyway, back to Nagahama castle, a castle built by Totoyomi Hideyoshi

In my opinion, definitely better than Okazaki, the overall atmosphere made it “feels” more significant than Okazaki castle. The view from the tenshuu is very pretty, in which you can actually see Biwa lake.

I just loves this kind of scenery.

After Nagahama, I went to Omi-Hachiman for some unknown reason. I’m like that awkward person that wouldn’t push the stop button because nobody seem to get off at this stop, and just kept riding the bus until many ppl get off. I mean they are Japanese people, they know what’s good right? Turned out, the popular spot Japanese people are going is like a “dessert park” called La Collina, I called it dessert park because they mainly sell dessert there, and “park” because they have large greenery area.

Their most famous dessert is Baumkuchen, I personally not that big fan of it, so I bought the small size along with macaron.

Then, I followed google map to Omihachiman canal area to find the bus to get back to the station.

The canal area is what I intended to go.

I’m glad I was awkward and decided to follow Japanese people because I got have variety of scenic photos.

Next stop, the highlight of this trip Hikone Castle, 1 of the 12 original castles yayyy.

I love Japanese garden, so first visited the garden in the castle area and just like other garden I visited (except Kokura Castle garden), i was not disappointed.

The Hikone Castle, I loved the castle that I have to work my way to see the tenshu. I love climbing, just to see castle.

The view from the tenshu also amazing.

After HIkone, I went back to Nagoya to see my same age co-workers? friends? comrades? again for the last time, and we ate “Taiwanese Ramen” which just spicy ramen

And then I got back at the airport, which seem very empty at night.

Good bye, Aichi. I hope they will send me there for business trip again next year.

If you read this far, stay tuned for another Japan trip, which is like 2 weeks later from this Japan trip.

#just chatchalita traveling #chatchalita in aichi round 2

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meegs-in-tokyo · 5 years

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2019年4月8日〜12日（月〜金）：地獄の1週間 April 8th-12th, 2019 (Mon-Fri): Hell Week

Hello I am ALIVE! I honestly didn’t think I’d make it through this week but I somehow managed to.

So, school started this week with a 5-day auditing period (not 10 days as I originally thought--THANK GOD) in which we had the opportunity to try out classes and take additional placement tests. In an earlier post, I mentioned that I was basically illiterate in Japanese as per the low level I was put in based on the results of the original placement test. Because of that, I took as many placement tests as I could this week in an attempt to be able to take more appropriate classes; this involved going to every class I was interested in, in addition to the ez ones I was placed in. I sat by the window for the extremely ez classes to pass time, and as you can see from the first photo, the view was quite nice! (If you look closely, you can see some sakura petals floating in the wind...it was a lovely sight, but somewhat bittersweet as it signaled the beginning of the end of the sakura season [queue the WABI-SABI; if you’re confused, see http://japanology.org/2016/04/what-does-wabi-sabi-mean/]). Anyway, I can safely say that after hours of review, studying, and 25 placement tests (yes, TWENTY FIVE) in this one week, I managed to get into most of the classes that I wanted to! As of now, I have registered my classes (which will, however, involve a bit more of [manageable] altering prior to the deadline tomorrow). とにかく、本当に安心した。(“Anyway, I’m really relieved.”)

On another note, on Thursday, I was reunited with a really old friend from junior high and high school! I haven’t seen her in like over 6 years so I was super excited to see her again, especially since she randomly disappeared off the face of the earth towards our junior year of high school; I’m glad we were able to catch up about that in particular lol. Our meeting was quite spontaneous as she just messaged me out of the blue on Facebook a few days ago, asking me if I was in Japan (long story short, we had a mutual friend who knew we were both in Japan, which was the impetus behind my friend’s message). Anyway, we met up for dinner in Takadanobaba and had 回転寿司 (“kaiten zushi,” or conveyer-belt sushi) at スシロー (link here for that particular location: https://www.akindo-sushiro.co.jp/shop/detail.php?id=2054; it’s my most favorite kaiten zushi chain in Japan b/c it’s super delicious and cheap--would highly recommend!!). The wait was totally worth it and it was all-in-all a night well spent!

Yeah, OK so anyway, TLDR: today marked the end of hell week and I am (mostly) alive but honestly a lil dead inside lol. I felt a bit better after I treated myself to some delicious green curry at a cafe near my school for lunch. From here on out, I hope I’m able to enjoy my last term of college ever!!!

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nolookfive · 6 years

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i will be your home, keep you warm when it’s cold

okay so! this one is for @dmigod because i wanna make her cry, @fourdrinkamy for giving me the idea to roll with the life calendar thing and also @elsaclack because i had a mental block and then i went back to read her fics and motivation hit me like a ton of bricks so thank u wizard em! cya later if you wanna yell at me for this then you know where to find me.

Jake doesn’t understand how his life manages to find loopholes to screw him over. He’s been through pain before; the pain of his father leaving, the pain of being separated from Amy for six months in the inexplicably cold heat of Florida, the pain of being separated from Amy again in the hellhole that was prison. He knows Amy felt that same pain; she told him about it one Tuesday night after a long stressful day where nothing was going right and an emotional breakdown was on the cards after Scully spilled a jar of coffee beans everywhere.

He knows she felt it. And he knows, just like him, she hasn’t felt this type of pain before. And he wouldn’t wish it upon anyone, ever.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

Exactly seven months and four days after their wedding, Amy sits on the edge of the bathtub, staring at the counter impatiently. Her hands twitch, resisting the urge to reach up and twist her hair into wild braids.

It wasn’t as if they didn’t want children. They’d had that talk well before they got engaged. It was more the fact that Amy wanted to at least become a lieutenant before they even considered trying. Jake was aware of this and fully understanding - he’s been around her life calendar for years now. He knows what her plan is and he respects it.

But things on her life calendar haven’t necessarily gone fully to plan. Marriage was further down the line and that happened sooner than she expected. And a baby? Well, to be fair, they hadn’t exactly been very safe lately. By the time her second alarm went off at 6:45am, Jake’s hands would already be tugging her underwear down her legs, his lips ghosting over her neck.

“Who cares if we’re not at work on time?” he’d mumble as her third alarm went off, capturing her moans with his lips. The only problem with that third alarm, though, is it would be the same time she takes her birth control. And when she’s preoccupied in...certain ways, she tends to be just a little bit forgetful.

But this is first time she’s been over a week late.

She lets out a huff, standing up to see how much longer she has to wait when he phone lets off a jarring ring, signalling the end of the two minutes. She quickly turns it off and takes a deep breath, reaching for the small white stick when suddenly the bathroom door opens and Jake comes barreling in.

“Hey babe, have you seen my-” he stops, his eyes immediately drawn to the packaging next to the sink and the test just out of Amy’s reach. She stares at him, panic setting in as she watches him process exactly what she’s doing.

“Is that - is that what I think it is?”

Amy swallows. “Yeah.”

“Is it - I mean, are you-”

“I - I don’t know. I was just about to check.”

He can tell she’s freaking out, her eyes as wide as a deer in the headlights. He cautiously takes a couple of steps towards her and reaches for her hand, his thumb running circles into her palm. She looks up at him then, her heart slamming against her chest, and she thinks about this minuscule piece of plastic sitting behind her, potentially holding a result that could change their lives.

“Hey,” he says softly, his other hand stroking up and down her arm. “It’s okay.”

“I...” she starts, then shakes her head. “If it’s positive - I mean, the life calendar-”

“Amy, the life calendar hasn’t exactly gone to plan, has it?” he interrupts, holding up his left hand pointedly, a plain gold band sitting on his ring finger. “I mean - we wanted this to happen at some point, right?”

“Right, but-”

“But what?”

“What if I can’t do it?”

Jake stares at her incredulously. “Are you insane? You’re Amy. Remember that jar of Armenian pickles Charles had in the fridge last week that he claimed was impossible to open?”

“Are you seriously comparing this situation to Charles’ lack of strength?”

“Oh my god.” Jake rolls his eyes. “The point is, you did what no one else could. You’re strong as hell. And if you think you can’t do that,” he points to the test, “I know you don’t like being told you’re wrong but in thiscase, you’re wrong.”

She studies him for a moment, then closes her eyes and leans against him, her forehead resting against his collarbone. “It might not even be positive,” she mumbles.

“Only one way to find out,” he replies, “do you want me to check it?”

“Yeah.” He pulls away, kissing her forehead and reaches around behind her, picking up the white stick. She’s scared, anxious, nervous, and somehow excited all at once. She watches him as he holds the stick up, his eyes scanning the length of it before looking intently at the spot that would change everything. His lips curl into a small smile as he turns the stick around.

And she’s met with the tiniest pink plus sign she’s ever seen.

“Looks like you’re gonna be a mom,” Jake says, watching her eyes well up as his smile gets bigger.

She can’t respond, the tears falling freely as she stares at the test incomplete awe. She has less than a second to compose herself before the excitement kicks in and she lets out a soft laugh, Jake’s arms going around her waist and pulling her to him tightly.

“We’re gonna be parents, babe,” he whispers into her hair, his lips pecking the skin behind her ear. She’s still speechless, wondering how two steps on her life calendar managed to happen in less than a year when she thought she’d had everything planned out. Jake leans back, his hands coming up to cup her face and kiss her gently. She melts into him, her hands curling against the collar of his hoodie, pulling him closer to her.

“We’re actually having a baby,” she says, more to herself as a confirmation that holy shit this is actually happening.

“Yeah we are.” Jake lets his hand drift down to her stomach. “You can do this, Ames,” he whispers, kissing her again. “I know you can.”

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

They tell their parents first, Jake’s in person and Amy’s over Skype. Camila Santiago instantly bursts into tears the second Amy holds up a picture from their first scan, their baby barely visible at only seven weeks but it’s there.

“Now, Amy, you need to start eating more fruit and vegetables. This way, your baby will be a girl and we need more women in this family, mija!” she cries, clapping her hands.

Needless to say, they ended that call fairly quickly(mostly due to Amy’s sudden lack of patience and the waves of irritation that have hit her in the last two days).

Karen and Roger are much more tame, letting out a collective gasp as Jake hands them the ultrasound photo. Roger slaps a hand against Jake’s back while Karen settles on the sofa next to Amy, studying the fuzzy print.

“Looks like you’re gonna be a dad just like me, bud!” Roger exclaims. Jake resists the urge to tell him to fuck off, ignoring the rage building up inside him when he shoots a look over at Amy.

“You’ll be better,” she mouths, giving him a small smile.

They tell Captain Holt next.

There was no build up to it, Jake had insisted that Holt doesn’t appreciate beating around the bush (Amy should know this, she’s halfway through binder number two of their mentoring program) so when they sat down in his office one Thursday morning, the easiest thing for all of them was to just throw it out there.

“Amy’s pregnant!” Jake blurts out. The room goes quiet, Holt looking back and forth between them, briefly glancing at Amy’s stomach hidden beneath her new navy blazer she intentionally bought one size larger.

“Congratulations,” he spoke, “make sure you take it easy from now on.”

“Don’t worry, babe,” Jake whispers as they leave his office, “he’s definitely stoked that his two best detectives got it on.”

“Shut up,” she groans, slapping a hand against her forehead.

And finally, they tell the squad.

Charles had organised another detectives-only weekend away, this time at a holiday home owned by Genevieve’s distant cousin. By this stage, Amy is nine weeks pregnant. She’s been feeling nauseous for the last week and a half, and every second day has brought her headache after headache. The small bump beneath her shirt isn’t super noticeable but she feels it, absentmindedly letting her fingertips trace over the hard skin when no one else is watching.

She’s sitting at the island in the kitchen talking to Terry about an old case when she glances over at Gina, who is staring at her with narrowed eyes. Amy instantly knows what she’s looking at, she can see Gina doing the math in her head - the sick day she had the week before, orders of decaf coffee, denying free sushi from the deli down the street - and Amy can almost see a literal light bulb flashing above her head. She knows.

Gina smirks, disappearing into the kitchen and emerging less than a minute later holding two full wine glasses. “Alright, girl,” she says, plopping down on the stool, “which Amy are we going to see this year? I’m personally thinking Nine-Drink Amy should come out of her cave. Don’t get me wrong, Eight-Drink Amy is an icon, but we are minus a horse so we’ll have to make do without her.”

Amy glares at Gina as she slides one of the glasses in her direction, knowing she has to think of an excuse and think of it quickly.

“Actually,” she begins, sliding the glass back towards Gina, “It’s...only 4 o’clock. Some would say it’s too early.”

It’s code. Don’t say anything.

“Too early? Come on, Santiago, we’re on holiday!” Terry exclaims. “Treat yourself!”

“What are you guys talking about?” Jake asks, a slice of pizza in hand as he heads towards the fridge for another beer.

“Just trying to offer old Amy here a drink but for some reason, she’s not in the mood for an alcohol buzz,” Gina answers, her voice threaded with tease.

Jake whips around, his cheeks full of the cheesy crust he just stuffed his face with. “Why-mmph,” he grunts, quickly swallowing. “Why you doin’ that, Gina?”

“My sweet Jacob, some of us come on these trips to relax. Much like Terry and Charles, I come on these trips to get away from my kid. But also, I thoroughly enjoy witnessing drunk Amy,” Gina explains, giving him a knowing look and Amy can see it click in his eyes.

“Now, Amy, are you sure you don’t want this wine-”

“Gina,” Jake says sharply, making everyone look at him. “Stop.” He circles the counter, his hands running up his wife’s back to rub at his shoulders. “Ignore her,” he whispers in her ear.

“Alright, what’s going on with you two?” Terry asks, his voice suspicious as Rosa and Charles walk into the kitchen for a refill.

Amy glances over her shoulder at Jake with a defeated expression. “Let’s just tell them,” she sighs.

Charles gasps. “Did you finally try that couples hair-washing class I sent you the link to? Didn’t I tell you, Jake, it’s the most erotic thing ever, Genevieve and I tried it and-”

“No, Charles, that’s gross. I deleted that entire conversation, even my phone was traumatized.”

Charles frowns. “So what is it? You’re already married. And Amy can’t be pregnant, Jake said that’s further down your life calendar and we all know how strict you are with that, there’s no way you could...”

He trails off when he sees Amy bite her lip, resisting the urge to smile. He sees Jake’s arms curling around her shoulders, hugging her from behind as Amy’s hand presses against her bump again, which is much more noticeable now that all eyes are on her.

“No way,” Rosa deadpans, the sound of Charles hyperventilating filling the room.

“You’re - but you - and Jake - and - parents?”

Amy nods. “I’m nine weeks.”

“OH. MY. GOD!”

And then he passes out.

“Cheers to that,” Gina says, raising her glass.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

She’s ten and a half weeks pregnant and everything is fucking annoying, from Jake’s concerned gaze on the other side of her desk, to Charles giving her daily lists of multivitamins. She knew she’d feel a little tired but she had no idea that growing a baby would exhaust her this much and drain all of her energy.

“Can you guys please leave me alone, I’m fine,” she’d insisted, slumping in her chair and letting her eyes close for a second. The next thing she knew, she was being carried into her apartment and tucked into bed, her husband pressing a sweet kiss to her forehead and promising to call her later.

That was hours ago. The sunlight that shone through their bedroom windows had dimmed, the sky outside a deep blue with fluorescent spots of yellow from the street lamps below. She managed to get some sleep, cuddling the soft mink blanket to her chest as her hand runs across her stomach continuously, hoping her tiny nugget is as comfortable as she is right now. She’s about to doze off again when she hears the front door close and a set of keys being dropped on the bench. She waits for him to come to her, knowing that he’ll fuss over how she’s feeling and once again she roll her eyes and tell him to relax.

When he opens their bedroom door and peeks at her around the frame, the look in his eyes is mischievous. “Hey babe,” he says softly, “you feeling better?”

She stretches slightly. “Mmm, heaps better.”

“Good.” He pushes the door open, walking towards the bed holding a plain brown paper bag in one hand.

“Oh god, what is that?” Amy sighs as he sits down on the bed.

“It’s not bad,” he starts, watching her as she sits up, “it’s just a present. For you. Well, for the baby. And us. More for us, I guess.” He reaches into the bag and pulls out the smallest police onesie Amy has ever seen, laying it flat on the comforter in front of them. She lets out a gasp, reaching forward and letting her fingers trace the stitching of the soft material, her eyes tearing up for the fifth time today (damn those hormones) as she picks up the matching beanie, nuzzling her cheek against the fluffy material.

“So...you like it?” Jake asks, adjusting his position to curl his arm around her waist.

“Babe, it’s so cute,” she giggles, “where did you get it?”

Jake shrugs. “Charles and I were bringing in a suspect for questioning and we passed this baby store. It looked like it had just opened so I thought I’d go in and have a look on the way home and...yeah. The girl that worked there practically threw it at me when she saw my badge, said it was ‘fate’ or something. I think she was a bit of a space head. Brooklyn is full of weirdos.”

Amy smiles, kissing his cheek. “Even if she is a space head, this is perfect.”

“Our baby is gonna be so cool,” he mumbles, leaning forward to rest his cheek against her growing stomach. “You hear that, kid? You’ve got a badass detective for a dad and the prettiest sergeant for a mom. You’re already awesome and you don’t even know it.”

Amy cards her fingers through Jake’s hair as he continues to talk to the baby, their baby, feeling her face wet with tears she didn’t realize had fallen.

“Fucking hormones,” she mutters.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

She’s eleven weeks and three days when it happens.

Her eyes open wide, giving her no time to adjust to the darkness of their bedroom when she feels a dull but strong cramp in her lower stomach. She’s been feeling them for days now and all the baby books she read told her it was normal and just her body’s way of adjusting to the baby’s growth. She blindly reaches for her phone, the light of her lockscreen telling her it’s 1:49am. She groans quietly, rolling onto her side, hoping to relieve some of the pressure.

She’s about to fall back to sleep when it hits her full-force.

She sits up in bed immediately, her hands fluttering to her stomach as her face twists into a grimace. “Come on, kiddo, what are you doing?” she whispers to herself, rubbing her small bump delicately. She glances over at her husband sleeping peacefully next to her, his hair in wild tufts as he snores lightly.

Let him sleep, her subconscious tells her. It’s nothing.

She decides maybe going to the bathroom will help relieve the pain, quickly shoving the covers off her legs. She stands and the cramping suddenly feels ten times worse as she takes deep breaths, struggling to make it to the bathroom. When she finally gets there, she closes the door. Then there’s silence.

A few minutes later, she screams.

Jake’s awake now, shooting upright and instantly scrambling towards the direction of his wife’s cries, throwing the door open and freezing at the sight in front of him.

Amy is on the tiled floor, legs pulled to her chest, her arms wrapped around herself, her small frame trembling. There’s toilet paper everywhere and her cheeks are streaked with tears and Jake is about to ask what the hell is going on when he locks eyes with his answer.

Through Amy’s legs, her pajama shorts are saturated with blood.

“I - need - I - something’s - wrong,” Amy gasps, squeezing her eyes closed in pain.

Jake snaps out of his daze and runs back into the bedroom, throwing on his hoodie and grabbing Amy’s fluffy bathrobe and a towel from the closet. He snatches his phone and his keys off the bedside table and sprints back into the bathroom, sliding down next to Amy.

“I’ve got you, come here,” he hushes her. He slings an am around her waist, lifting her up enough to slip the bathrobe over her shoulders and wrap the towel around her hips. “We’re gonna get you down to the car, okay? Can you walk?”

She takes a couple of steps, letting out a yelp and if Jake wasn’t holding her, she would’ve collapsed on the floor right then and there. “Hurts - it hurts - so bad - I can’t,” she sobs, her arms folding against her stomach protectively. “Jake - the baby-”

“Ames, the baby is fine, you’re fine,” he replies, trying to keep his voice as convincing as possible despite how much he’s panicking. He hooks his arm under her legs, picking her up bridal-style and carrying her carefully through the apartment. “Deep breaths, babe, you need to stay calm, freaking out is going to make it worse.”

He carries her out of the apartment, down the steps outside their building and sets her down gently to unlock the door from the passenger’s side. He quickly helps Amy into her seat, before slamming the door and running around to his side.

“J-Jake,” Amy stammers as he gets into his seat. He looks at her and she’s curled herself into a ball, still holding her stomach. She’s terrified.

“You’re alright, babe,” he assures her, his voice breaking as he starts the car, reaching over the console to grip her hand, “it’s gonna be okay, I’ve got you.”

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

He helps her back into bed with the promise that he’ll just be in the next room. She doesn’t say anything. She hasn’t spoken since they left the hospital.

He’s not surprised.

He calls her parents first, the words he speaks leaving an unfamiliar and unwelcome taste in his mouth. They promise to get on a flight to New York later that afternoon, her mother rattling off a list of rescue remedies. Jake mentally stores them in the back of his mind, wondering how she could possibly know all these things will help when she’s the one whose had a 100% success rate with eight kids.

He calls his mom next, the sound of her sympathetic voice breaking him down bit by bit. He balances the phone between his ear and shoulder as he pours milk into his too-strong coffee. “This sucks, Mom.”

“Honey, I’m so sorry. Do you need me to come over? Or do you want me to make some meals? I can whip up my infamous chicken and pumpkin soup? Amy likes that, doesn’t she?”

Jake rubs his eyes tiredly, the sun beaming through the kitchen window much too bright for 6:53am. “Actually, yeah. The soup would be great, thanks.”

“Of course, sweetheart. So how’s she doing?”

“She’s...” he falters and lets out a long breath. “She’s completely shut down. As soon as the doctor told us - I mean, she hasn’t said anything since they discharged her and I don’t know what to do, I don’t know how to help her or what to say or anything.”

“You just need to be there for her,” Karen replies as he takes his coffee into the living room and sits down, “she’ll talk to you when she’s ready.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“And how are you?”

Jake frowns into the receiver. “What do you mean?”

Karen sighs. “Jake, Amy’s not the only one in this. You have to take care of yourself too."

He considers her words for a moment. “I'm - it hurts, Mom,” he says honestly, “I mean, it wasn’t planned but we were still so excited and talking about all the things we could buy and looking at getting a bigger apartment and now it’s just...nothing.”

“I know, honey,” Karen says soothingly, “it will get better but right now, let yourself grieve. You’re allowed to.”

“Yeah. Hey, I’m gonna go see if Amy needs anything, I’ll talk to you later.”

“Okay, I love you.”

He hangs up and once again he’s alone with his thoughts. He knows that at some point this morning, he’s going to have to go into the precinct and tell Captain Holt. They can’t just not go to work without an explanation. But when he tries to write a mental script in his mind of how to say it out loud, every option makes the situation more and more real. Captain, Amy and I need some time off. Captain, something has happened.

Captain, we lost the baby last night.

It’s the last one that gets him, makes him curse under his breath as he feels the tears roll down his face. He lets out a frustrated groan, wiping furiously at his eyes and picking up his phone to check the time. He stands up to make his way to their bedroom but when he turns around, Amy is standing behind him, a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. Her fingers grip the edges of the material tightly, her eyes red from lack of sleep and pure pain as she watches him stare back at her.

“Hey,” he says slowly, “I was just coming to check on you.”

She doesn’t respond, her chest rising and falling with shaky breaths. It only takes him one step towards her for her to let out a sob that breaks his heart and he crosses the room quickly the wrap her in his arms, holding her tightly as her walls finally come down.

He lets her cry, says nothing as she hyperventilates into him, her hands clutching his shirt as he cocoons her, wishing he could protect her from everything that’s happened in the past few hours. Eventually he moves her to the sofa, lifting her legs over his lap, draping the blanket across both of them. Her sobs subside and the only noises she makes are quiet sniffles and deep breaths to steady herself. He stays quiet, waiting for her to speak when she’s ready and at least twenty minutes go by before she says anything.

“I don’t know what to do, Jake,” she rasps, her voice weak.

He presses his lips into her hair, trying to think of all the ways he could possibly take all of her pain and throw it a thousand miles away. “You don’t have to do anything.”

She lets out a breath. “I just - I don’t know why. They didn’t know why. They couldn’t tell us. I thought - I thought I was doing everything right. Why - what’s wrong with me?”

He pulls back and looks at her tear-filled eyes. “There’s nothing wrong with you, Ames,” he whispers, stroking her hair gently. “Absolutely nothing.”

“You said I’d be able to do it and - and I couldn’t. I...” she trails off, avoiding his gaze as a fresh set of tears falls. “I couldn’t carry our baby. I lost our baby. This is all my fault.”

He tilts her chin up to make her look at him. “Hey, it’s not your fault, don’t say that.”

“Then why? Why couldn’t - why couldn’t I do it?”

Her voice is grief-stricken and he’s silent for a moment, trying to formulate a response in his head. “When I was 7, before my dad left, my mom got pregnant. Yeah, I know,” he says in response to his wife’s eyes widening. “I remember her explaining to me that there was a baby in her stomach and I didn’t really understand anything, except the fact she would keep telling me “you’re going to be a big brother”. And then one day, she didn’t pick me up from school. She got our neighbor to take me to her house until my mom came home. And when she did - even though I was young, I knew something was up. And when she told me...” he shakes his head, staring at the coffee table deep in thought.

“She said - my little brother, or sister, decided it wasn’t their time. That they weren’t ready to come into the world. And - saying it out loud now, I think that’s what happened with our baby.” He looks down at Amy, his fingers playing with the feathery ends of her hair. “There’s nothing wrong with you, Ames. You did everything right. Our baby just wasn’t ready.”

He feels dampness on the sleeve of his shirt and he knows she’s crying again, so he pulls her impossibly close to his chest, closing his eyes as he rests his cheek against the top of her head, feeling tears of his own fall free.

“Look. We can try again. We can wait however long you want to wait. We’ll stick to your life calendar. Either way, I’m here with you, I’m here for you. I’m on your team. We’re gonna get through this, I promise you.”

It’s quiet for a moment and he thinks she’s fallen asleep until she speaks.

“I love you so much,” she whispers, her long lashes fluttering against his neck.

He kisses her hairline, his arms tightening around her. “I love you too. Always will.”

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. But they’ll be okay.

#b99 #brooklyn nine nine #jake peralta #amy santiago #jake x amy #peraltiago #b99 fanfiction #my writing #ya hey even i am crying #and i wrote this!#goodbye!!!!!!!#the desktop preview is FUCKED i'm sorry idk how to fix it #maybe read it on mobile-only????

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itskierstenrenee-blog · 6 years

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Week 2: First Time for Everything

Hey friends!

I had a very overwhelming week 1 in Atlanta. But thats not a bad thing. Let’s talk about it.

I started my week exploring, but not truly enjoying the scenery and things happening around me. I was so stressed out about getting a job, getting my acting classes started back up here in ATL, and just getting used to being a city girl. While I was so stressed out I deep down knew that it would all work out so I needed to just GO OUTSIDE, BE PRESENT, LIVE A LITTLE…that isn’t what I did. I went outside and explored cool running places to de-stress but I didn’t do anything out of pleasure.

At the end of the week I got a Hostess job, so I started that (Ive never worked in a restaurant. First time for everything) and I really like the people. They already treat me like family and I’m already invited to outings with all of them so I think they like me. Or, I guess they could have invited me to take me somewhere to kill me but I’m going to assume I am wrong in that assumption and choose positivity by saying they just want to hang out with me! Yeah. I like that.

The second I was hired I worked the next three nights. Honestly, I enjoy being the face people see when they first step into the restaurant (maybe they will remember me!) but it definitely got overwhelming. My first day was a Thursday and their busiest day is Friday. So I got to start on a night where it was a pretty frequent flow, but easy to get used to. But then Friday came and I swear I blacked out for those 7 hours because HOLY SHIT IT WAS CRAZY. There was live music, people everywhere, reservations all night and I had to take care of basically everything. Good thing that wasn’t my first night because they would have fired me right there. Thank God I had that Thursday to get somewhat adjusted to the restaurant life. You people that had serving as your first job ever, good for you. I cant imagine what 18 year old me would have done…cried? Left?..I don’t know but it wouldn’t have gone well.

HOWEVERRRRRR, I guess it went pretty well because when I went in on Saturday they said I did great with such an un-ideal evening. So yay, go me!

So thats how the job went. Now on to better things, I. MADE. FRIENDS.

Now I knew that this would be hard to do especially because I have changed my standards on people. I know that unhappiness is directly connected to toxic and negative people you have in your life. I didn’t want this to happen to me, especially in such a delicate stage in my life. I don’t want toxic people and I want to utilize my positive vibes as much as possible so I need positive people. These friends I have made this week meet the criteria for friendship :)

My job introduced me to a couple of pretty cool people. One is a bartender and sometimes my manager. She’s like the realest person. She always checks on me and doesn’t care if I have asked the same question twice (which I have noticed I do a lot so SORRRYYYY to all of you that this has happened to with me. Short term memory loss. Just call me Dory…..interesting…new stage name?).

Sorry.

Back to what I was talking about.

So yeah she’s cool. The other person is a server there. He like took me under his wing the second I stepped through the doors. He always comes up to the hostess stand to chat with me so yeah, we are for real friends. He knows me now. And I know he is in a band so what more do I need to know?

So those are my work friends. I wish I could name drop…but I’m sure they will both pop up on my instagram in the near future.

Alright alright, now to one more friend I made.

This one is a sibling of a friend from Florida. WOAHHHH COOL RIGHT? I can finally have conversations about Florida and the people there and she understands! Dope. But anyways, I met up her at Ponce City Market (go there. Do yourself a favor, drop what you’re doing and begin your drive specifically for Ponce City Market. I will talk cool stuff about it in my places tab of the blog) and we had drinks. We went to a place called “The Tap” and it was magical. It was like a Yogurt Land for beer/wine/cider. AMAZING, Y’ALL. Now I had to be at work at 5 and still chose to go hang out with them at 3 because I wanted to be a dedicated friend. It was so worth it. I made other friends in the group she was with and when I left they all said I can hang out with them any time. SO YAY. Things are working out for me! I can totally see that group being a solid choice for me when I want to have a fun time.

OH but I forgot to mention a crucial part of this week. I came home from work one night and the airbnb couple that is hosting me were THROWING A PARTY. Big party. Cars parked all over the place..up the street, down the street, driveway, yard, the whole sha-bang. But this wasn’t just any party…it was their engagement party….? Like thanks for telling me! Congrats????

In all seriousness though, it was cool. Made some friends that night too. They invited me to get sushi. It’s a real friendship now.

But now it’s time for real talk. Even though there are so many good things happening around me, I am still a wreck. It has been two weeks from the day I left the place that everything was good and comfortable. That is my biggest struggle, I think. Realizing that it is okay to be alone and that I need to embrace it while I can. Realizing that the only way I am going to accomplish and crush my goals is through getting out of my comfort zone. I need to break every single mold I have for myself and create a new one. I mean, after all…I am a whole new person now.

I truly believe that in just a couple of weeks I have changed. I am less independent, but I can tell my brain wants to change that. I am so much more scared of my surroundings, but again, I want to change that. I also think the more positive aspects of me are changing (for the better, of course). I am so open to new adventures. I am more driven and passionate about my dreams turning into reality. I am so much more loving and caring (who knew that was possible?) because apparently absence does, in fact, make the heart grow fonder. I miss everyone, but I know this is the start of something CRAZY BIG.

To be honest, I am feeling good. I am scared a lot, but I know that is a good thing in this case. I cant wait to see what unfolds in this next week and to experience many more “Firsts”!

And for anyone who wants to move to a city or different state, or even country, where you don’t know anyone….I say do it. Do it. Be scared. Be alone. Once you have gone through those things you begin to realize who you are and you see the beauty of the things and people around you. You create a whole new self and it is so rewarding. Plus, you find out there are so many people around you that have gone through/are going through the same thing. You got this.

Alright, this was week two everyone. Lets see about week three!

Talk soon,

Kiersten

(p.s. don’t forget to check out the other sections of the blog! My thought bubble page is gonna get pretty interesting with all the shit that is going on. Love you all!)

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stevedonnellyfaith-blog · 5 years

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Why I Am Thankful (post 65) 11-26-14

I like Thanksgiving and always have, but he flavor of the feast has changed for me in the last several years. Today, I see the holiday more as a way-point that occurs half a year’s orbit back towards Easter, Divine Mercy Sunday and Pentecost. The direction we are traveling will arc through Advent towards Christmas and curve sharply at Ash Wednesday onto the backstretch of my Christian year. Thanksgiving is no longer a destination in itself. For me, the liturgical seasons have become an orderly, varied and beautiful continuum.

Before Thanksgiving was just a rest-stop within a year’s journey through faceless days of work drudgery. For me the holiday represented a double weekend where Monday seemed farther off but not so remote that I ever forgot that it was coming. It was a day for sleeping in, then dragging my carcass to the couch for a repast of sports television while Pam cooked the family an excellent meal. Excepting a two minute prayer, the day was totally absent of Christian thought, more of a libation of sloth and gluttony sacrificed before the god of entertainment. I watched all the football I could handle until I slipped off into tryptophan induced slumber in the warm glow of a magic cathode ray tube. I enjoyed Thanksgiving in a way that would crown me as the consummate secular chump in a country populated by a bevy of domestic Neros clicking through channels in our customary holiday white tee-shirts and pajama bottoms.

And don’t give me too much credit for my two minutes of prayer. I certainly didn’t prepare anything ahead for my once a year extemporaneous opus of acknowledgement to what God had done to bless our country and the Donnelly family in particular. I would hurdle the prayer as the last barrier blocking the path to all the good food and good cheer, on which I could gorge myself. The idea of giving thanks was really a parsley garnish, lost among the bowls of squash, gravy and mash potatoes.

In the last several years, though, God has provided me with an attitude adjustment. I still enjoy the tasty food and good cheer, but I take loving companionship and other wonderful blessings much less for granted. I am now truly thankful for the fellowship of those with whom I eat. I drink deeply of their peaceful friendship, not just for their agility and punctuality in passing the rolls and gravy. I now have an understanding that each of us will attend a limited number of these earthly feasts, and I am thankful for family and friends both present, distant and those who have moved beyond.

For the West Coast Donnellys, this year’s Thanksgiving plans have been pretty fluid. We are still waiting on the schedule for Nick’s lung surgery, which should remove the small pockets of strange cells created by the Bleomycin chemotherapy. Stephen and I had hoped to be in Ohio visiting Natalie at my folk’s house, but that trip is on hold. I am determined not to make a second emergency flight back from the Midwest.

We will eat somewhere. We have been invited several places by wonderful people that are very concerned for us. We look forward to the opportunity to thank God for the grace that he has bestowed on our family at whichever table we end up. Surely we will be in the company of good friends – probably someone that Natalie knows so that it will be easier for her to imagine us from her own table across the country.

It has been a year of blessings for us:

Nick is still alive and in good health. His weight and hair are restored, but the beard is still a bit patchy. He is missing some few parts, has a trusty Power-Port embedded in his chest and is due to lose additional various chunks of flesh, which will be trimmed by the equivalent of robotic toenail scissors. Largely he is the same easygoing guy who, the other night, treated the Men of St Joseph to a viewing of before and after chemo x-rays of his lungs and abdomen. (I don’t know why doctors always delight in showing me pictures and 3D diagrams of stuff that I just want to sink forever into my subconscious.)

Stephen has spent the year with no significant incidents. While not eliminating the voices that distract him, his medication has largely allowed him to live without the crippling paranoia that drove him into the hospital repeatedly in the months that followed Pam’s death. He takes walks, eats hot dogs or sushi and largely enjoys his days emancipated from the need to protect the family from assailants that never existed. He gripes in pro-forma fashion about the transgressions of the two little dogs that love him and keep him company.

Abby is enjoying the life of an independent young woman with a bright but as yet undetermined future.

Natalie is spending an idyllically quiet year in suburban Ohio exploring the wonders of snow, slush, thunderstorms, and being a cousin to three little girls just her own age. For the most part she is living a year buffered from ambulance rides, ER visits, missed school days and afternoons among daycare hooligans. She does have to ride the school bus, though. Every kid should have to be a bus rider at least once. Hopefully her bus heater will work effectively in the cold Cleveland months of December, January and February. Thankfully, this year Natalie will not have to endure Valentine’s Day and the run-up to the anniversary of Pam’s passing in the same house where it all occurred. It should be a more regular winter in a house joyfully bedecked in Christmas ornaments, not a home holiday-garbed as an act of obligation.

I, myself, this year have lived a more peaceful life, still with my share of daily aggravations, but also full of helpful reminders that Jesus and my family love me. I am thankful for blessings that others consider horrible curses. If the result of pain is a closer relationship with Jesus, are calamities not sometimes heaven sent?

Thanks to all of prayerful IHM parishioners from the Donnellys. We wish each of you a peaceful holiday with lots of love and without the slightest hint of Thanksgiving dinner drama. Attending the 10:00 service on Thursday is an excellent way to start a day dedicated to gratitude for all our blessings. One parish, one service, arrive early.

#Thanksgiving #Thankful #IHM #Cancer #Catholic Faith #Catholic family #God #Jesus #The Holy Spirit #Lent #Divine Mercy #Ash Wednesday

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thesecretlifeofmerribethc · 6 years

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BOY OH BOY OH BOY

What a week! I haven’t blogged in literally a week D; Been SO BUSY. Foreal. It’s the last week till the NCLEX (today) so I was really putting this aside. But anywho, gonna try my best to remember what I did, so I’m gonna list it out in this one post, and then maybe post pics along with this or also make an additional post of pics. We’ll see!

Ok here we go!

2.25.19 - Monday

Today mom and I had Leo’s before she dropped me off to the school. It was nice to enjoy breakfast together! She had chicken noodle soup and coffee, while I had a breakfast special #1 without hash browns, and coffee. I studied in the library! After school mom, Marv, manang and I stopped by Michael’s on the hill so that Marv could buy some watercolor pencils. Manang also bought guache paint so we’re excited to try that out!

2.26.19 - Tuesday

Studied in the tech building this time since there were finally empty spots! Lol Then after having lunch in the cafeteria, I went to the library and worked there. Got picked up and mom was in pain from muscle knots and cramps (most likely from working out with the dumbbell). After picking up Manang we went to ne's. Once we got there I went to the guest room and napped! Lol first time I napped in a long time. Left her house around 9 pm

2.27.19 - Wednesday

Studied in the library today! After that, manong picked up the sibs and I, me being last. Stopped by Fairlane so manang could pick up her jacket order. Had dinner 4/$4 from Wendy’s (courtesy of manong! :)) and headed home

2.28.19 - Thursday

Stayed home today! Dad missed us cuz he worked from Mon-Thurs. Ate breakfast with manong, mom and dad which was a very juicy and tender pan-fried breadcrumb-coated pork tenderloin. So good! Did dad’s pedi, prepped his shake and uniform, and then finally worked on studying... feeling anxious :( Oh! Manang showed me that Rainbow City Roller Rink has been changed now with a new art exhibit: The Beach Detroit! SOOOOOO COOL! Opens tomorrow!

3.1.19 - Friday

Got up late today =_= Watched some Chinese youtube videos with manong of this girl who farms and makes stuff --- so soothing! After that the fam got ready for our dinner with tito Boyet and tita Belle. Picked up Marv from work then made our way to Sapporo Sushi in Troy. Got there at the same time as tita Belle. Ordered our food and then tito Boyet came. I got 3 sushi: 2 california and one philly, and then a bowl of Tempura udon. It was sooooo good!!! So thankful. Tito Boyet and tita belle treated us out... although it was supposed to be for mom and dad’s anniversary >.< After that we went to church for prayer meeting! Went to bed at 12 a.m. because NCLEX tomorrow!

3.2.19 - NCLEX DAY

Had a lot of alarms go off today but I was able to get up at 6 a.m. Freshened up, changed, put on some makeup, then hurried and brewed some coffee, made oatmeal, and toasted a bagel and put cream cheese on it. Manong and manang came with dad and I. Manang prayed then left the house at 6:45 and made it to Ann Arbor at 7:22. Dad prayed and then manang walked me into the building to the pearson door. Checked in and then started the exam. This time I only did 151 questions (+10 for the research thang) and finished at 10:30. I’m happy I didn’t have to do all 265 questions but as of now (it’s 12:07 a.m. so technically 3.3.19) I still didn’t get any email.... like Danielle did.. Kinda worried although I feel more confident this time around. Got picked up and manang got me a lunchables and we went home. I washed off my makeup and brushed my teeth then took a nap till 1:30 p.m. Got up and ate sinigang. Then manong and I packed up the TV because we decided to return it (sorry vizio!). Marv and manang washed dishes and then manong and I cleaned the back of the pilot and marv and him put the tv in the trunk. Got ready then the fam took manong’s car and the pilot and we went to Target to return the tv. Walked around the mall + best buy. Then mom and dad went to Meijer while the sibs and I stopped by starbucks drive thru and then picked up hot n ready pizzas before going home. Got home and discovered we needed a bigger stand so mom, dad, manang and I went to Target (near ne’s) and then home goods, then walmart for coffee. Got home, played jackbox tv 4 with manang and Marv and then now i’m here lol. So tired!! Really praying i passed the nclex this time.... i hope and pray I did. I’m committing it to God. I really don’t know what I’d do if I did fail again... sigh. Praying for the best!!!! <3

Life, I’m lovin’ it, Bebet

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nanbas-noise-problem · 7 years

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@guard-kotonoe “Could you list anymore?” Kotonoe joked as she raised a brow at him. “You only asked for the hint of guard or inmate, so that’s all I answered.” She said with a cheeky grin. “I’m not sure how much ‘male’ pinpointed it either. Had I said female then yeah, that would have.” She considered with a small chuckle. “But nope, this one is male this time.” She said with a grin. “I feel like you may overlook it. That’s really possible here.” She agreed as she looked over at him, giving a devilish smile before leaning much closer. “Also, who said I’d say when you’re right if you do get it?” She teased lowly. “I don’t think I ever did.” For a moment longer she stayed really close before a grin broke out on her face and she leaned back the distance she had been before so he could pet her again (if he would that was) which wasn’t much further away admittedly in her opinion.

She listened intently when he mentioned the female worker. “I feel like I may have heard about her.” Kotonoe said as she tilted her head in thought. “But if I have then the memory is foggy. Since those two no longer work here, I haven’t really seen any other women, of course, not counting the Warden that is.” Kotonoe said with a small shrug. It probably looked a little heartless considering her stoic reaction to hearing that, but somehow she thought she had heard that news already from someone. Just who It had been she was unsure of.

“Please tell me he didn’t have that at any point in time?” She groaned as she covered her face with her hands, holding back loud laughter. “I won’t be able to take him seriously again if I see him. I just won’t. I’ll start laughing and then I’ll have to run and come find you to hide out.” She rambled as she thought of what that would look like- Hajime with hair like that she meant. “Who today have we brought up today that you couldn’t confirm something on body wise?” The guard asked with a voiced laced in astonishment. “Was this the month you lived there? Or something else?” She questioned, though she picked her wording carefully just in case.

“Sushi and milkshakes it is then.” Kotonoe chimed with a smile. “This seems like it could go wrong in so many ways…. Oh well.” She scoffed as laughed. “We’ll leave our future selves to deal with that if it happens. I know the best of the sweets shops down there to get the milkshakes at too!” She exclaimed, seemingly getting more hyper by the second from the thought. When her mind wandered to the stash of candy and baked sweets she had bought her grin widened. “I have plenty at my place. We wont even have to spend money on it. Doughnuts, cupcakes, hardy candy, etc. All fresh because I binge bought them yesterday evening. Most aren’t open. And I think there are a few slices of cake hidden in my fridge from a party last Thursday. So, chocolate cake too!” She said. Some part of her knew this would be a horrid choice to make, but the thought of all the food just made her laugh. “You can come by and eat them with me if you’d like.” She offered.

She let out an audible sigh of relief this time when she realized he wasn’t going to get very angry of upset and let herself fully relax. “We can leave when you want by the way.” She said quietly. Her earlier energy seeming to dissipate as it did from time to time. She was sure the sugar rush she would have later would stick around though.

Mitsuru sighed and gave up. “Okay fine”, he said with a grin. “Since the only guard that comes to my mind right now is me and you’re not going to tell me anyway, I’ll stop it right here and now~” He was a little sad now and felt unsatisfied. Of course he wanted to know who Kotonoe was crushing on, but he wouldn’t want to force her to tell him. Also he really didn’t want to ask Mao since see seem to kinda know. That wasn’t fair and the broadcaster wouldn’t do such things just because he was curious. “It still makes me kinda sad to not know”, he admitted with a pouty face which looked absolutely adorable on him. But that didn’t keep him from petting her hair. It was kinda soothing for him.

“I think Miss Hyakushiki mentioned it to you when you came here..”, he tried to remember. “The poor girl was just here for half a year and had a lot of bad luck. She was working as psychologist and well... Most inmates didn’t trust her. One of Hajime’s more dangerous inmates bit her one time. Not just a little. You could see her bone... that’s how hard he bit her...” For a moment the broadcaster was deep in thoughts. “No one knows why she ended killing herself... I don’t thing it was just because of her unrequited love... I think Kenshirou’s Pyro was the one who suffered the most under her suicide. The two of them got along rather great. She was german as well..”

Mitsuru shook his head laughing. “No, thanks god I never saw Hajime with a beard. I’m not even sure if he can grow one. I never ask him about it but it’s possible that he lost his hair because of a sickness. He’s rather sensitive about that subject. No. 15 tends to tease him with the bald head~” he explained with a grin. Even if he would know any details on how Hajime lost his hair, he wouldn’t tell. That was something no one should care about or at least ask him directly. “And yeah, I saw Hitoshi naked a few times when I lived there. “, he confirmed. “So, yes. Definitely 100% a boy. He doesn’t even want to be called a girl. He... just really loves dresses and makeup, that’s all. His feminine face doesn’t help tho~”

Mitsuru stretched a little and grinned. “Then let’s stand up and get some food~”, he said, petted Kotonoes hair one last time, gave her a kiss on the hairline and stood up. “Even if you have enough sweets in your room, let’s still go and buy some more. I need to stock up on snacks for work time. Also I need new cat treats...”, he was thinking out loud, because he gave Kuu the last treats a while ago and the cat was always kinda pissed when he came over and Mitsuru couldn’t give him what he wanted. “And I think my stomach can handle sushi with milkshake and snacks fine~” he laughed. He had worse combinations to be honest.

#I just woke up and saw the post #why the hell didn't my phone show me the message when you answered? xD #stupid phone #I know why I only trust my laptop xD #post reply #Nanbas-Noise-problem #guard-kotonoe

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sh-lan · 6 years

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i’m always late for these now but oh well

i can’t believe i’m making an ebay account happy new year LOL

Third day of the new year!

Went to hangout with ryan and leighton. They wanted to try marugame udon so!!! Also i saw adam but didnt say hi, oops. In any case. We were like hey let’s do something like walk around! But it rained a little so we bought some cuties from trader joe’s and ended up at ryan’s house and basically sat in his kotatsu for 4 hours then i came home. I also finally know how it feels like when the manga says that your legs get tangled inside the kotatsu. And when you literally cannot get out of it. Plus the feeling of losing the ability to walk because ya gurl tried to stand up after crawling out of the kotatsu and just fell back down What a day LOL

my brain in general has forgotten how it feels like to study …oh dear

Mommy helped me dye my hair yesterday! It’s lighter than i thought but it was the gray ochre color from palty! And it smells like grape hichews Facetimed vania & yuri today and they noticed the color! And then facetiming with dad and he also noticed LIKE WOW I DIDNT REALIZE PEOPLE COULD TELL? <3

I want a lot of cute phone case but idk what and where to get EDIT: i am still having this problem

I just saw the golden year of the dog items from starbucks korea AND I WANT EDIT: also want the starbucks x pantone planner fml EDIT EDIT: did not end up buying anything good job deborah lan

i was right muster merch colors ARE BEAUTIFUL

The muster merch fmu EDIT: clearly i was overwhelmed with the colors because there were two separate drafts in a row lol

The company insists on having two references….

And now they said they chillin with a peer reference SO I PHONED A FRIEND (aka vania) bless her soul

jan 10th l i f e u p d a t e got the first job offer of my life!! (well official full time offer lol) and so it looks like i’m going to portland? :O

Wow i joined a GO for muster merch New year new me and goodbye money 탕진잼 탕진잼 탕진잼

Wow im glad i submitted the form to get muster merch because THEY ARE SO CUTE AND PRETTY. Okay but i really want PCs so i sincerely hope bighit has some sense and ship PC sets abroad when you order multiple other items Also didnt realize the lenticular key rings would be a hot item but seriously they are so much more adorable than i thought?? Jk’s key ring is so cute i cri EDIT: just found out about no acrylic stand )))): EDIT EDIT: didn’t get squat because ARMYs jump all over everything any time anything is released...

finding housing is hard and i can’t believe that i actually see an appeal to living in downtown…

fmu because bt21 getting released online BUT I REALLY SHOULDN’T BUY but also i finally got my package from jen! ugh omg the bag charms are so cute i don’t know whether to actually use them or keep them in their boxes ;__; and she included some mediheal masks! finally also sent vania her tata as a thank you gift~

deokrim stickers are too cute ima buy two sets

And ugh wow i cant believe i chanced upon cornpeu shop reopening im ded Vania and i didnt catch the timing for bt21 and now i’m still dumping money on bts things HAHA EDIT: not even 15 min after writing this, i bought the stuff from cornpeu lel (which couldve been used to buy the cushion so idk man) time to go preorder for deokrim maybe?

Wow my left hand hurts like shit did i really break it playing superstar bts like mom said? No way right

Ahhhh got my muster merch in the mail today and it’s so niceeee *^* Ima stick that washi tape like everywhere LOL

I hurt myself four different times today smh

In portland for the weekend! I deadass ate two packets of honey roasted peanuts on the plane ride over because i didnt realize i was so hungry and now i’m just waiting for the pimples to cOME ;__;

I walked into a stationery store in portland and just. FOUND MY PEACE. jk but i bought some stickers i been looking at online blesssss

No. Tax. Anywhere. (So far)

I had coke last night after my flight and i legit didnt feel tired until 3:30am oops

Omfg i cant believe someone was selling the trust issues photobook by snowpeach in the luce in altis project for $15 last night WOW LIKE THE FEW DAYS I DONT CHECK SHIT, THERE’S ALL KINDS OF SHIT I WANT. $15 is so cheap ;___;

went to portland with alice to check out apartments!!! woot. lots of fun going around/looking at the city. landed on thursday night and waited at the airport for alice and ate mcdonalds/watched the office haha friday: alice had work all day ): so i went out to meet up with yuri and leslie who happened to be out in portland too! walked to the alberta arts district to eat with them at pok pok noi. just walked around afterwards exploring in the rain before getting back home to eat dinner with alice at like 8…lol we went to bamboo sushi in sw and alice treated me to omakase as a congrats on getting my new yob!! woot also did some walking around in the neighborhood - will likely spend quite a bit of time in the powell city of books! saturday: the day we actually went out to see properties! grabbed some blue star donuts and headed into nw district - looked at some apartments and then grabbed lunch at this cute italian place that i will most likely frequent. started talking to alice about stuff and being weak, i cried and then we got free hazelnut ice cream…LOL. it was really good sunday: since we toured places that i actually liked yesterday, we basically just decided to walk around different areas. waterfront park, pioneer square…we spent a while in nordstrom rack and sephora looking for stuff for alice! lol. then dinner again at bamboo sushi and dessert at salt & straw :> monday morning: waking up early to get to the airport for alice’s flight. bought more donuts at the airport for mom! then i sat at the airport watching the office and eating until the airplane ride where i got a whole row to myself~

and that was my portland trip shortened LOL. but~ excited about the new city, definitely excited about the donuts!

Furniture shopping is hard Moving is hard Everythinf comes down to money S M H

Got approved for my apartment today!! #excited

legit on phone calls for an hour getting stuff down and ready. now to wait on emails so i can get to the next step to sign my lease!

It’s been hot in sf like ??? In other news, i put coconut oil in ma hair - let’s see how it feels tomorrow! :O EDIT: idk, it didn’t feel different?

Omg feb 5th: suddenly a day where i can play hard mode on ssbts wow what a day

I just saw the new bts game where you get to “live chat” the boys as the user becomes the manager and takes care of the bois I am literally gonna die All armys gonna die Why do they do this to us …BECAUSE THEY KNOW WE’LL NEVER BE THEIR MANAGERS

Today i threw away my first lip tint because it looked funky funks and was like dying Good bye you were good to me - onto more an new lip tints! On another note. The balenciaga cap is $350??!?!

Being fat today and ordered three desserts with han at creations. And then went to the beach because pokemon but ended up star-gazing and it was niceee

Just came across its it ice creams on IG and since it’s been so hot (cause like spring came early or something??) i want it!! Also, it’s like the only time i ever consume oatmeal raisin cookies (unless they just oatmeal - in which case, delicious) But omg i didnt know strawberry is an OG flavor? Althought mint reigns supreme. But. GREEN TEA??

A BUMBLEBEE FLEW INTO MY HOUSE THE OTHER DAY AND I WAS ALONE AND COULDNT HELP also raided mewtwo yesterday!! Woot. Surprisingly got the gym bonus after much hardwork but dayum caught with only one ball LOL

Ever since that one time on the airplane with the weird ass headache/tension above my left eyebrow….i got like two headaches in a week that were like that. Also in between those, my right ear hurts and honestly…am i broken somewhere cause lel Body please get better

Lmao so last time i put on a screen protector, i cracked it in two days cause i dropped it. And i just put on a new one last week and lo and behold, it hath cracked again but this time, in my purse. I’m so ????? Smh

Landed in portland once again with han for move in!! Woke up super early…. Just went to target/tj maxx to buy stuff. Smh should’ve bought a swiffer and gotten it sent here ): Got a shower rug! THE SOFT SQUISHY ONE. But failed in the shower curtain department cause it’s too short… Makeshift bed with blankets and bed sheets lol…we shall await the mattress coming in tomorrow~ Do have quite a bit of stuff to buy in general…): Anyways. Had a burrito for dinner and like ?!! Aluminum foil gave me an aluminum cut so…ow No internets yet - good thing han downloaded some movies!

My cuticles are dying because my hands are dry and wow this is terribad

Went and bought a shitton of strawberry chocolates for 50% off at cvs MUAHAHA

Went to macy’s (or we’ve been going often since it’s going out of business so things are going on sale) and got the seiko watch i was kinda eyeing last time. ONLY TO FIND OUT (forgot to check on amazon) that it was 38 dollahs cheaper ;__; but. EHHH it’s all good. Seems like the one on amazon has strap problems being too smol so…like, it’s totally chill

February 19th

My first day of work!! Went in earlies and had onboarding for about two hours with amother new hire. Then i returned to my room where i met my coworker and my manager! Both of whom are in the same room and we each have a desk. (Ima have to request a standing desk :O) anywayss. Got a company laptop - thank god it’s not bulky. And then i’ve got two monitors on my desk too! #bless

Then jlw went through more ux stuff with me and i also went to a stand up meeting. Like. Those are real man. Then went to company lunch! Where new hires introduce themselves and i realize that i have never used a dishwasher before and everyone was shookt lol.

Afterwards, i went to a sprint meeting AND BOIIIII PLANNING POKER DOE??? Lololol. I have to say i did not understand a single thing that was going on. Took about an hour and a half…

Anyways. went back in where jlw continued where she left off and then finally let me read some onboarding stuff on my own before she headed out at 4 and then me, leaving swiftly at 4 as well LOL

SO that was my first day! Trying to get everything in order - i hope that everything goes great and that i learn lots and lots! :> although…windows computer already killing me, no wonder people use mouses instead of the trackpad. Also…gotta learn Axure + in depth photoshop so…WOOT WOOT

Oh and we also have a huge snack cabinet i might just become a potato

Light snowfall is so pleasant :>

Bucketlist checklist:

Eat alone - check! First lunch break :> (exciting!)

Watch a movie by myself - check! Love, Simon

Second day - drank too much coffee while i’m still weak against caffeine. It’s 1:26am. HNNNGH

i got really bored at work today because even though it’s week 2 now, i was done with my shit at like 2pm so i just started looking at axure tutorials for another however long until 4:30 LOL side note: might actually do my post-its idea thing then i realize that i didn’t bring any post-its over to portland… also i cracked my screen again today because i slammed it on the counter while trying to save it from falling so did i really save it….

bought rice and shin ramen on amazon lel

Gonna try out my post it idea in the office tomorrow. Hope it goes well 🤞

2/28/17 First ever happy hour but also goodbye party for kyle - also like the first time i talked to him since the one and a half week i been there (minus when we introduced ourselves) but sads cause he was kinda a squish and everyone seemed to have a chill time working with him :/ oh well

ALSO THE FIRST DAY THAT YA GURL GOT PAID $$$ (which is just directly going to rent - oh the woe of getting paid bi-monthly LOL)

Wow i did a great job sticking on my phone screen protector! #yes EDIT: no i didnt. It’s blocking the camera slightly on top smh

Ya gurl cut her finger on a tape measure lmfaooo

Alice came two weekends in a row to help me buy and build stuff and daymn. That was some hard work and tbh i only built a shelf and a bed LOOOOL I think ima go for the sofa + table rather than the desk. I think it might work! Also went to ashun market. Good weekend :>

I went bowling today!! It was an engineering celebration so i thought - why not, let’s be social for a little bit. And it turned out to be fun~ we had some fuds and i played two rounds. And I got a strike in one of the rounds! Woot woot. Anyways. It was enjoyable, not as awkward as i had envisioned. Also i was able to successfully catch the bus home so that was great :>

I think i’m reverting back to my eating habits because there are ENDLESS SNACKS IN THE OFFICE. Oh dear

Really actually thinking about that dicon photobook because the pictures are so nice :<

ALSO FINALLY FCKIN DISCOVERED ELECTRICITY CHARGE ON KWH DIFFERS ON A MONTH TO MONTH BASIS in addition to usage. Wow the things you discover and uncover as you adult

Also city of portland why do you have a base charge of $11???????

Ahhh xfinity wifi was too good to be true Apparently only 5 devices could connect to it at one time. So i guess i gotta shop for internets now…LOL EDIT: NAWP. ALL GOOD. THAT WAS FOR HOME HOTSPOT. WOOT

Lmao my manager went to ucsd when marshall was still called third im

In other news. It looks like my one on one anxiety wont dissipate soon. Esp since last week, the vp of engineering just sent me a calendar invite for a one on one and i literally got stressed out for a straight 30 min before i said yes to the invite and could slowly go back to focusing on work lol…. EDIT: it ended up being around 15 minutes and i did not really enjoy it at all

We are bulletproof pt 2 came on today while i was walking and i still cannot believe that the first lines still got me smiling like a fckin idiot

Ok so i finally talked to this girl at work (who i think is really pretty omfg) the other day and she’d been curling her hair recently and as we were walking out of the bathroom i was like I REALLY LIKE YOUR HAIR And then she said my hair is so straight and healthy - “do you straighten it? It’s really pretty” and i’m just over here crying on the inside because it looks like hay and only happened to be really straight that day for god knows what reason. SO BASICALLY THE STARS ALIGNED JUST SO WE COULD HAVE THIS CONVERSATION Also she said she recently bought a curler that just “does it for you” and gurl i need that because idk how to DO ANYTHING TO MY HAIR UGH

I woke up with the blankets already nicely proportioned off the sides of my bed - so i just crawled out without making my bed today lool

Thought i could handle watching burn the stage but i saw the screenshot of jungkook lying down and it already broke my heart Need to be secluded with some tissues ;__;

A two day trip to see The Rose in seattle or a five day trip in san diego… 🤔🤔🤔

last day of march went to lunch with my coworkers for the first time and i actually enjoyed it! it was fun :> glad that my coworker actually dropped by the office to invite us to lunch~

good friday today because:

lunch was good

really honestly did nothing because we were troubleshooting visual studio

also basically did nothing because double sprint planning and retro LOL

HEADING HOME FOR THE WEEKEND UNTIL WEDNESDAY

#gotpaid

but no joke, on the ride to the airport, i got carsick and i honestly didn’t even know that was possible but if you think about it, i basically haven’t been on any kind of transportation for at least a month… also my uber driver is like some viet gangsta or something that gets pulled into the room every time he tries to go to canada O_O LOL

Deadass trying to save money but The rose concert in seattle, want to make an sd trip, want the 2k18 asia trip But also bts comeback sometime during the first half of the year and SUDDENLY WANNA ONE IS GOING TO HAVE A WORLD TOUR??? Dammit dude DAMMIT

My heart dies a little every time my coworker comes by and invites me to lunch with everyone *ugly sobs* Dies a little in a good way - just for clarification LOL

Mom dyed my hair for me! And it was darker than i thought BUT GREAT. Curiously enough, after two washes…it’s already lightening?? NO PLEASE STAY DARK. PLEASE. EDIT: lol i realized there was another “mother dyed my hair” somewhere on top lel. just for clarification - nobody else dyes my hair including myself cause i am incapable lOL

omfg i just saw the we bare bears x spao collab AND THEN FOUND THE ADVENTURE TIME X SPAO CLOTHES, SO CUTE!!! the jake and bmo hoodie )):

didn’t realize that i missed them so much ;__; we thought we would all die with the black hair but actually they just killed us with softness good thing they didn’t come out with foreheads lOL

okay lol basically that’s it because nothing happens in my life although i realze that i video recorded a lot of experiences and they’re all just video files sitting on my phone and that’s why maybe i haven’t been writing any everyday things down :O will i ever edit them? unclear

in any case - planning lots of fun things for the months to come hopefully!

#mumble mumble #does this count as #spring mumbles #debs in portland #adulting debs

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lostinlovemn · 8 years

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Weekend Adventures and Anxiety Attacks

Well the past couple of days have been a complete roller coaster of emotions and adventures. Chris and I were about to settle in for a movie night on Thursday, freshly stoned, when my phone rang. I should have gone with my gut and ignored it. It was my older sister Bonnie calling. And while I don’t usually ignore her calls, it is never wise to try and hold a conversation with someone while stoned and trying to present like you are not. But I answered anyways thinking it was about the text I had just sent her regarding my nieces birthday present. But oh boy was I wrong. I have thought a great deal lately about this call. What getting it would be like, how I would feel in the wake of the call. The call was about my dad. He is sick. He was diagnosed with Hepatitis C over a month ago. The same Hepatitis C that killed my fathers childhood best friend Ray after it turned into liver cancer. It wasn’t pretty from the stories I heard. My dad is scheduled to go in for an ultrasound of his liver to determine next steps she told me, and there is a cure if it hasn’t turned to cancer yet. But that cure has a hefty cost and insurance doesn’t usually cover that. Good old america right?

Well all of this information was relayed to me in a phone call from my older step sister. Not my dad. My dad and I haven’t spoken to each other in months. How do I process this? I mean for starters I don’t have all of the facts, I don’t know how bad or not bad it is or what the next steps are because he hasn’t actually picked up the phone to tell me himself. And that is part of the reason we aren’t speaking in the first place. For a long time now, my dad has put his marriage to his 4th wife, my alcoholic step-mom, before his children. You see, my step-mom doesn’t like his children and has made that fact clear since we were young. You can imagine what that toxic attitude did to our self esteem and self worth over the years. But in the past year it got to a point that I could no longer bite my tongue about.

I just can’t be in a room with that woman any more and simply ignore the past. I am too angry for that, too hurt for that. Because you see, the older I get, the more of an adult I become, the more I realize how truly fucked out childhood was. How little effort was actually put forth in raising us. How much neglect was present that I didn’t even identify as neglect until now. I can’t shoulder all of the blame on my step-mom because my dad is equally guilty. He looked the other way, didn’t defend us or speak up for us. To this day he doesn’t speak up for us, and if that is how he wants to treat me, well then I am out. I don’t have room for shit like that. But now? Well now it is complicated.

Making the decision to cut myself off from my dad is something that has racked me with guilt and torn me from the insides. I love him, I really do. I just hate his wife and his taste in woman. I hate his lack of spine and willingness to show his children the love and support he needed. More importantly I needed him and he wasn’t there. So how can I be there for him? I mean for the love of god he hasn’t even told me yet that he is sick… How do I process this? How do I process all of these feelings, anger, sadness, heartbreak, guilt, and grief. I grieve for the relationship that has been ruined, I grieve for the future that doesn’t involve my parents. I grieve for the idea of family I have had in my head, the idea I will never actually obtain in the way I have wanted.

I spent all weekend avoiding talking about this and trying not to cry. My best friend distracted me on Friday night with Sushi and a Bob Ross paint night. It helped keep the anxiety at bay but I could still feel its waves lapping the shoreline of my brain. It was there with me when I woke up on Saturday morning to have to say goodbye to Chris before he headed to a friends to play Magic! and then cleaned my house with the fervor as I tried to keep my mind distracted.

It was there with me while I tried to keep a happy face while bowling at Memory Lanes in the late afternoon with Chris and his coworkers. In an effort to keep the distractions coming, we headed to MOA to fill our evening before the concert we were heading to that night. We walked around and I thought it would be fun but the crowds became overwhelming and the lack of food made us both more tired than we cared to admit. We waiting on a bench outside of Crave waiting for our table when we both contemplated saying screw it to the dinner and the concert and heading home. I was practically in tears with anxiety and claustrophobia from the throngs of people walking by and talking loudly. But when our table was ready we were ushered past the busy restaurant to a separate, smaller, and quieter dining room.

The lighting was dimmed and the sounds reduced. It was there that Chris and I discussed how I was feeling and how I was so grateful that he hadn’t pushed the topic of the phone call or asked me questions. He just held me when I cried and listened when I was finally ready to start talking. I really appreciate that about him. He knows me well enough to know what I need from him without me having to ask him. We talked over sushi and steak and at the end of our meal we finally felt a renewed energy that we both desperately needed to keep our night going. We stopped at Caribou after dinner to pick up a caffeine boost an the barista complimented my lipstick, we spent a few minutes discussing makeup brands and I was proud of my knowledge and ability to keep pace in the conversation. I was also flattered that someone took a moment to notice. It was the boost I needed. We made a last minute stop at Nordstrom Rack on our way out of the mall and Chris finally picked himself up a robe for wearing around the house. Now we both have robes to be lazy together!

We decided to go to the concert and made our way downtown. The concert was Lettuce, a new age funk band that I hadn’t listened to much before going. But man am I glad I went. The energy of the show was awesome and the band was amazing! We left before the show was over which I was thankful for.

Sunday morning I made the decision to pull my ass out of bed, put on a face full of makeup and clothing to embark on a brunch adventure. It had been so long since we had been to Barbette and I was craving something out of the ordinary routine. We made our way to Uptown on a brilliantly sunny day.

We waited for a table for 15 minutes while sipping on black french roast coffee and then we feasted on the most heavenly eggs and bacon with toast and hash-browns and we split a Belgian style waffle that came topped with house made vanilla bean whip cream. Breakfast was perfect, as it always is at Barbette.

We decided to take advantage of the nice weather and walked around. We stopped at Ragstock and I scored a sweet spring jacket and stocked up on the classic basic white under tank and an awesome new pair of shades. We walked around some more and then ended our adventure at Uncommon grounds coffee shop for mocha’s and a slice of chocolate cake to go.

When we got home we immediately changed into our robes and closed curtains in the living room to snuggle up and nap and watch Power Rangers. We spent the rest of the evening in a semi vegetative state which was exactly what we wanted. A bit of pure relaxation to end an eventful roller coaster of a weekend.

Now to forge ahead into a week full of work and a phone call from my dad hanging over my head that could come any moment, but probably won’t.

Love,

#anxiety #family

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