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#I’m gonna have very likely the most stressful job interview in my life
the-bluestreak-cat · 11 months
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I’m so excited about my five cheese ziti
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felassan · 6 months
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In this September 2023 episode of The Corner of Story and Game (“a podcast about the stories inside of games, the games that writers play, and the writers that create games”), it’s an interview with David Gaider. he talks about his early days at BioWare, a bit about Dragon Age development (including about an idea they had at one point for a Revelry demon or similar), about Stray Gods, creating a musical RPG, and crafting branching narratives in games in general.
A few quotes and notes are under the cut (due to length.)
Host: “Looking back, if you could give one piece of advice to young David before he started down this road, what would that piece of advice be?” DGaider: “That’s a hard one. […] I worked for BW for 17 years. I think my advice would probably have been, don’t give your loyalty to a company. It probably sounds a little depressing, but I mean, I think I always threw myself into my work as if it was my life, and I think that in the long run that was detrimental. Because, I mean, companies are companies, they put themselves first. You are ultimately expendable. You can give everything to them, be intrinsic to making them successful, but they’re never gonna give you that kind of love back, so. I think that would’ve been good advice to hear. It’s like, they called me ‘The Machine’ [because of how much he wrote so fast]. I did sooo much work to the point that it affected my health. I burned myself out. I had like three different periods of burnout while I was writing and they were each progressively worse than before. I always looked on it at the time as like a personal failure, like oh my god, I can’t write anymore, maybe this isn’t what I’m supposed to do. It stressed me out, it affected my health, I gained weight, you know, it really affected me on a personal level because I attached so much of my personal self-worth to how good I was at this job. […] That was a lesson that was a long time coming.”
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DG: “The thing about Dragon Age, weirdly, was that every time a game went out it always sold better than anyone ever, on the publisher side, than anybody expected it to. We always expected it to be selling worse than Mass Effect for some reason, but it always sold better. [laughs] To my eternal amusement.”
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DG: “I really enjoyed working with the composer and writing the lyrics [for the musical scene in DA:I after Haven is attacked]. So having done that, I had this idea that sort of wormed its way into my head, possibly after watching the musical episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The thing I liked, the musical element of it was diagenic, like it was in the world, it was happening and everybody knew they were singing, it wasn’t just a metaphor for them expressing their feelings, like they knew they were singing and it was weird. And I was like, oh, what if we did something like this, and it’s happening, and we have a dream realm, in the Fade, and what if the characters, like there was some kind of demon, a demon of Revelry or something like that that was making them sing.” The whole team, especially voiceover and localization, were very excited about this idea, but the bosses were like whoa, whoa [as to them it sounded like a lot of work to do], “if we sell 10 million copies, then yes we will do that DLC.” “which was sort of their way of saying no, because there was like, no chance, but we got pretty close, surprisingly.” “But they kind of pooh-pooh’d it, I think the main worry was they thought it wasn’t a very commercial idea. I mean like, I don’t think you understand our audience, but okay.”
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The host asked "What would you say is the best compliment you've ever received on something you've created?" DG said that nothing really hit home as much as a fan's response to his character Dorian in DA:I. he related how this is the character he put most of himself into as a gay man, and how a lot of players were personally affected by Dorian and his story. one one occasion, a player emailed him and expressed that they had been contemplating ending things as they hadn't been able to come out due to their religious family. they were feeling conflicted, and played the game as a form of escape. "Dorian was a revelation" to this person and game them the courage to come out to their brother, stand up to their family and move out. the player told David "I just wanted you to know that your character saved my life."
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internet discourse started mainly around the time that DAII came out. around then it reached its height and they received a lot of hate, which was very concerning and distressing for DG personally. but moments like the one Dorian inspired were the kind of thing that made it worthwhile. "To actually touch someone to that point is like, wow."
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"I never thought back when I started that games could be anything else [than heteronormative]. that's just the way I assumed it would always be. I never considered the possibility of an alternative until Jade Empire. there was a different team, I didn't work on Jade Empire and I still don't know who to this day brought up putting same-sex romances into that game, but here I was working on Dragon Age when I heard that they were doing it and that the company was okay with it. I was shocked. I was like, can we do that? Can we put that into DA? Is that a thing we can do? The idea that I could also tell stories that took more personally from my own life, that was news, and powerful." it was a revelation for players and for the people making the game.
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[source and link to complete interview] <- pls note there's quite a bit more discussed in the interview than what is noted in this post.
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Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ❤
hey kenna! thank you sm for the ask! <3
Rough Surfaces
There was an inherent loneliness to being Captain America.
And it wasn’t like Sam had never been lonely before. He'd been lonely, he’d been alone, and he’d been lonely and alone, but there was something about this, a feeling so old he was surprised he could still feel it; that it still affected him.
That hollow silence that was once filled with the sound of life.
Figaro meowed and Alpine didn’t answer, and for a split second, Sam forgot. He panicked.
Then he remembered, and it weighed him down, an ache so deep it felt engraved into his very being.
And really, it was fine. It wasn’t like he couldn’t do this alone, he could, but.
He didn’t want to.
Mostly, he had started to believe he wouldn’t have to.
Probably the most obvious choice. This one is very important and personal to me and while I’m slowly working on it, it’s definitely one I’m constantly thinking about. It started as just a small piece about Sam and Bucky fighting in the rain and grew legs and wings and look at us now, five chapters in and it’s a feast of angst and feels and growth and they’re slowly but surely gonna make their way back together.
must’ve been a deadly kiss (only love can hurt like this)
Sam imagined wedding planning was already stressful enough without fighting bad guys on a regular basis.
As it was, Sam was Captain America, and he had a job to do.
He also had a very disgruntled fiancé who followed him wherever he went.
Another fairly obvious choice. I always talk about how proud I’m of this fic and it remains true. IMO it’s some of my best writing. All the little details and how it comes full circle. Really some of the most fun I had writing a fic.
but baby i'm a fool for you
After several attempts at getting back in the dating game, Bucky bites the bullet and asks Sam for dating advice. Chaos ensues.
(Or, Bucky and Sam are dating, and they're the last to find out about it.)
This one was very fun to write. I miss writing them as oblivious idiots in love. All the chaos and humor and drama and fluff and pining. It’s also probably my most popular sambucky fic.
You're my Calling (Cure my Longing)
Sam turns mid-sentence, gesturing ferociously at Bucky. The couple he’s talking to has big smiles that get bigger as he goes on, turning his back away from Bucky, talking with his whole body.
Bucky frowns and downs the last of his beer, debating if he should go over and join the conversation that’s obviously about him or if he should stay where he is, by the sidelines, watching from far away and–
Then Carlos is passing him and saying, “Congratulations, Bucky. Took y’all long enough,” and Bucky pauses, bewildered into stillness, but Carlos is gone before Bucky has the chance to ask what in the world he’s talking about.
I love this one so much. Writing drunk Sam was super fun and I should do it more often. Was just really an absolute joy to write all around. The old couple and Sam being so touchy-feely and them talking about getting cats. Sigh. I need to write more fics like this lol.
and i play it on repeat (until i fall asleep)
co-written with @saryasy
“And for my last question, what’s next for you? Cap, you want to go first?”
Sam’s answer to this question has stayed the same throughout the day. He’s going to keep doing what he does best, fighting the good fight, protecting the people, and giving help to those who need it.
The thing is, all day, no one has asked Bucky what’s next for him. So, even though the way she worded it implied she’s asking Bucky next, Bucky’s completely blindsided when she turns to him and says, “What about you, Sergeant?”
There’s a long pause, Bucky’s mind blanking. He must have stared too long at the interviewer because Sam subtly nudges him.
So, without giving it much thought, Bucky says, “I’m gonna keep doing what I do best, watching Cap’s six and being an unpredictable, unstable human being.”
“That’s quite hot.”
Oblivion idiots? In my sambucky? More likely than you think. Writing this Sary was the best thing ever! So much fun and memories and metaphorically hovering over her shoulder. She’s a fantastic writer and a very patient and kind person and made this one of the most amazing writing experiences ever. 10/10 experience, can’t wait to do it again.
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60b3r · 1 year
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Catching up with life.
It's been over five years since I graduated from university, and here I am, once again, applying for jobs like a robot. I have sent over 4 to 5 job applications per week, tweaked my CV individually once a month, and hand-crafted my cover letter uniquely for each jobs I applied to. To top it off, I have been doing this for 2 years combined. Assuming that is not an overstatement, I have been sending over 300 job applications to different schools, universities, and even across other industries. With this overkill—yet seems to useless—Masters degree, it does not serve as a selling point, since it is being considered inconsistent with the common practice prevalently found in Indonesian universities, that one's Masters degree should be linear in order to work in academia as a lecturer. I even had to consider dropping my Graduate degree and went with my Bachelors degree to apply for jobs. People kept saying that biotech is the future, that the sciences are dawning all over, technology grows at light-speed, but all I experience is frustration and anguish. People kept telling that I am overqualified, that there's no way I am always between jobs with such emotive motivation and carefully curated skills and my beautifully AI-tweaked resume. I’m seriously starting to consider giving up this life and trekking into the wild to make my new life, Randall Clark-style. Here I want to reflect back on my past few years' endeavor and remind myself that job-seeking is such a dehumanizing process and something must be done to fix this. But before that, a quick background on my life so far. Consider this as a short, catching-up telltale.
Right after graduating in 2018, I was so motivated to fix the education system. I applied to teaching jobs and got myself a first formal job teaching Biology and caring for a dormant Science Club back in my alma mater. Why not apply for the industry sector, you ask? There's not enough room for Biotech graduates in Indonesia, and despite what people say about the unique nature of the niche, most of the positions can either be filled with Chemical Engineering graduates, or just General Biology graduates. There's not enough value created by pursuing Biotech degree, apart from continuing in academia as a researcher. After one year, I didn't renew my contract and decided to pursue for higher education, which I thought it was necessary to create a bigger impact. I thought back then, "Here I am, teaching young generation Biology and the art of life, some of them might be doctors or environmental engineers, yes, but majority of them won't even need these stuff." I said that to myself, exactly like I was thinking back then when I was their age and learning mathematics. it was 2019 when I decided to pursue MSc/PhD Biotechnology abroad, to allow myself to engage with wider masses upon completion. This time, high-schoolers, next up, college students, or so I thought. But life is a bitch, and then we all gonna die anyway.
Luckily at that time, right after my resignation was granted, I got myself three Letters of Admission: from two different universities in The Netherlands and one from Sweden. I'd then applied for several scholarships program, one of them being the notorious LPDP. The task of simply qualifying for the first round of paperwork selection was very tedious and stressful. It was my first time dealing with a plethora of documents to prepare, and I could say the tears and blood was even worse than the process of getting an LoA from the three campuses. After two more selection stages, long story short, I didn't qualify after the interview process, and I plunged myself in depression. A month later, I collected myself to start over, and this time, applied for jobs in the edtech startups. My thoughts were somehow I could work for a while, save enough money while still creating impact, and fund my Masters off my own deposits. Well again, fortunately I told myself at that time, some unicorn companies contacted me, and somewhat early that year, precisely February 2020, I was called into one of the big edtech company to attend an interview. I scrambled to book a ticket and a homestay for 2 days and... Oh boy. Three days before my departure, Jakarta shut down the borders and Covid ruined my lifelong dream of studying abroad. Interview cancelled, plane ticket burnt, and that hotel bed never touched my back. No job, no credit, eat shit. All 2020 I cried myself to sleep.
The anxiety caused by the uncertainties was so dreadful, I fantasized going for a program—the one in the Netherlands—anyway. Talk about coping using unrealistic expectation. So I emailed the admissions office and requested to postpone my first semester to October 2020 or March 2021 (they granted the former but refused the latter). I even paid for the dorm room in the Netherlands, when I was very certain that this was just another viral outbreak that's gonna resolve on its own after several months (that was also a false hope). Then, my family business took a major hit due to lockdowns imposed by the local government, and everyone went nuts. All plans go bust, and out of nowhere, suddenly, all homeschool students I have been teaching stopped responding to my calls. All types of businesses from across all sectors took a hit. Purchasing power bottomed out. Monetary circulation grounded to a halt. In the midst of all this blazing hellfire that is a financial crisis, it was in the middle of 2020 when I applied for student loan to get myself into a campus in Jogja. I thought "Well, it can't be that bad, right, I can still go to Jogja and pursue another Masters here, domestically, without going abroad and waste lots of money." So did everybody else thought, when we all first had our online classes in October 2020. But fast forward to early 2022, It's like everyone skipped two years of their life, staring at the screen for several hours drying out eyeballs and get nothing from classes other than just one or two classes that are actually elective subjects, not among the core courses.
I greeted 2021 with much hope, a hope that someday I will be able to meet my classmates and hunt for Jogja food later in the day after classes. I would have scoured through the libraries of the renown, and I would have also joined several student councils during my studies. But no. Not even once we got a call from campus saying our classes would go from distanced learning to on-site learning. I spent 2021 lurking around Malang trying to find a closure, visiting many natural places where I used to enjoy, gulping so many unhealthy foods down my throat to ease the numbing pain, even engaged in some risky behavior of ████████████. The year ended with more student debt, an unfinished thesis proposal, a broken heart, and still, no single job interview landed. Yes, I even went through Masters fully online (including all of the phases of research). I spent all 2021 mourning the hundreds if not thousands of what-ifs while drafting my thesis proposal. A small ember light up in the darkness, I got myself a job replacing a science teacher in Surabaya during her maternity leave. I got the contract extended just before I finished my thesis defense, and I am stuck in Surabaya for another year of inconsecutive work experience. Not even a single time I ever stepped my soles on campus grounds in Jogja during my enrollment there. The only chance I got to be closer than ever to my supposed campus building is during my awards ceremony where I returned my graduation robes.
I got paid three times the amount I got when I was working in my alma mater. I got myself a small room not too far away, and after selling my family's car, I even got a small discount since I am not using the provided parking space anymore. Plus, after over half a year, I can save more than I could usually save because there are no more gas-hungry beast that is my 1.5L turbocharged CVT Medium SUV. The school itself was decent, I got mediocre lunch everyday and to be honest there are less paperwork than the previous jobs I had been working on, but oooh the lab equipment and the learning materials are very lacking. I requested for some upgrades here and there, and they didn't even bat an eye. I have to struggle and come up with weird hyper-crearive plans to deliver the lesson, which by the way are not just biology, but also physics, chemistry, and geography. I enjoyed most of my time teaching, but considering a majority of students would leave the school and continue somewhere else, the school management decided to cut over half of the staff earlier this year. By the time of writing, I still need to finish my contract, though. Fortunately, I got some leeway since there are less classes to teach now after Cambridge exams has passed. This is where the fun begins. Not another job hunting. So, wish me luck friends.
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valkyrayn · 2 years
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hello juhl, i was reading your about and had a question but please don’t feel pressured to answer if you think it’s too personal. i recently graduated after studying marketing as well and got an entry level job and quit 6 months later because it was so stressful and made me really sad, so i wanted to ask what field of marketing you are in? ideally i just want to earn a lot like you (not assuming, just from reading your about page) but i know that takes time. thank you so much i know it’s not a tot qs but after a lot of job rejections i feel so directionless
hi hi! no dw that’s totally fine ☺️ also heads up this is gonna be a long reply lmao
i am in digital marketing, specifically as an Operations Manager. we don’t work with traditional marketing media, so we do mostly ads on social media. and tbh, my degree is in Communications. I learned like 10% of Marketing in uni, most of my knowledge came from working at the company I’m in now (for like 5 years now).
honestly, i’ve received questions like this a lot—about what kind of work they should venture into to earn a lot of money. and while I can give you suggestions like ‘digital marketing’ and etc, it all really comes down to two things—your attitude and finding a workplace that appreciates your effort.
which essentially means you don’t need to be in a field that you think you’re supposed to. i graduated thinking i should look for a job in a communications field—and i did that, in a magazine company but the hours and pay were shit so i quit after i landed my new (current) job.
i applied, with little to zero knowledge about marketing. but i was hired for my attitude—my willingness to learn and to prove to them that i can excel in that role; 5 years later i’m so good at what i do, i’m now promoted to manager. and now, i am too in charge of Hiring and tbh, we look for attitude first more than anything. so if i can suggest anything, find a company that values attitude first before skill. of course companies like these are unicorns, hard to find. but you can almost always tell by looking at the job vacancy they posted.
so here’s a checklist that i go by on companies that you should avoid when i look at job vacancies (entry level—not manager positions):
- are they hiring you for a single focused role or is it something like Graphic Designer/Data Entry. if it’s the latter, it’s a no from me. cus you’ll end up doing a 5-person job
- are they asking for your degrees and says you must have a 3.8 gpa and above? goodbye. unless they’re hiring you for professions like doctor, engineer etc then okay but for marketers, not necessary. 3.0 above is good enough.
- are they listing the role and responsibilities clearly or is it very vague? if it’s the latter, you can try asking them at the interview. if they can’t be fully transparent, red flag.
i also actively avoid companies that say—we are a family. that’s my #1 red flag lmao. we’re not supposed to be a family.
tldr; try other fields—you might be surprised that you’d end up doing something entirely different than what you plan to. i gotta be honest, when you’re looking for a job initially it will be about wanting to get the best pay; that’s totally understandable. and tbh, you’d be lucky asf if you’re able to find that but don’t be scared to settle with little first as long as you know that company can appreciate your effort and give you salary raises in the years to come. give them 2 years, by then you’d be able to know if it’s worth for you to stay or ditch the company. but of course if they’re toxic, leave within the 1st year, don’t waste your time if it takes a toll on your mental health.
and attitude wise, i can go at length about this but maybe another time. but really, this is the game changer for me. once i shifted my mindset and removed my ego, tendency to self-pity but not doing anything about it and stopped blaming others but OWN my mistakes, failures and success—i did nothing but strive at my work and life overall. and the abundance just kept coming for me, monetary and other things.
cliche but i truly believe in manifesting for good things as well. manifesting AND doing something to achieve it. and if you ask me what’s my secret to success—attitude and mindset. fix these first and the rest will come easy.
gosh this went to so many places. became a whole ass motivational speech too lmao i’m sorry but i hope that helps!! 🥹
and i’ll manifest for good things to come to you!! and that you will soon find a job that you enjoy that also pays you good money 🫶
edit: i just realized i probably only half answered you. but before i go into details of what field in marketing that might suit you or skills you might need, i gotta ask—what part in your previous job that stressed you out?
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moonlit-imagines · 2 years
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Is it ok if I ask when requests will be accepted?
no worries my love!! i know it’s been a while since they’ve been open, but i’m still on semi-hiatus for the foreseeable future. perfect time for an update post!!
hi all!! let me first of all say: you guys rock!!! i know it’s been forever, i still have requests in my drafts, posting is not how it used to be. i think i’ve been on semi hiatus since march? does that sound right?
i have had a hectic year as most of you know! since january 1st, things have been absolutely insane. i got fired from the bakery, was unemployed for two really shitty months, started a new job, quit, rehired with a “promotion” that was never official in anything but duties, got a boyfriend, dumped him, got my medical card, started a full-time job, went back to michigan for my grandmother’s burial (and to sort out some inheritance, nothing glamorous), bought a car, started my first semester of college (finally!!), got myself into another…unusual relationship, my mental health has been high and low, but honestly it’s much better!!! we’re halfway through october and the most overwhelming part of my job has just started, along with the halfway point of this semester of college!
this past month has been pretty stressful. today i was informed i was passed up for a promotion at work and the assistant manager let me know that the reason was actually because the other girl was performing poorly in our current position and they “needed me” where i was. so yeah, i am missing out on a raise and experience in a new position because im “too valuable to lose.” i’m pretty pissed about it. very overwhelmed. i had been working my ass off for a month, knowing deep down that the “interview process” for this position was a song and dance to show HR that the promotion was “fair.” my “partner” hasn’t been very understanding about it either, which is kind of pissing me off but hell, who cares! if im being honest, i just really need someone to be nice to me now more than ever. i REALLY need some kindness in my life. in the end, i’ll be okay, it’s not the end of the world, but things day by day have just been rough and if i could i’d be taking a break from much more than writing, but i cant. that being said…
sorry about the tangent! to answer your question, i’m not sure if/when they’ll reopen! truthfully, i don’t see myself never opening them back up, i still love writing and especially for you guys. i do however feel like i need to go at my own pace right now, it’s the only way i’m gonna get through this. i feel myself mentally drowning in all my emotions and responsibilities and if i force myself to write i’m only gonna grow to resent it. my mental health outside of OCD has been a bit yikes. i really do want to feel better about myself before i start posting again. and i am SO grateful for you guys. my mutuals, followers, anyone who is supporting me right now. i want to return the favor, but right now i have to look out for myself and my future. i love you all so much though!! it’s not often that i see a writer go on hiatus and not get at least a little bit of hate, so THANK YOU SO MUCH. it means the world.
i am always around to chat if anyone wants to <3 but writing will still be sporadic. truth be told, im not even caught up with most shows and movies! i actually barely have time to sleep most days. please send some good vibes my way!! im very off at the moment
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outofcontexturi · 1 year
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wed 23rd aug 2023 9:44am
God I’ve been surrendering to you and I’ve changed some part of myself for the better and yet I don’t feel like you truly see me or hear me. I need help God. I cannot keep living like this. I need a job that’s frequent enough for me not to have to be on the edge of insanity. I need to see a way out of this. I feel like I’m in a prison but the trick behind this one is that I have all the free time and devices at my disposal but NOT the thing I need and want the most. this feels like a hell that I’m living. I’m also glad I’m documenting this so I can look back at this and laugh and see how stressed I am(was) when this was written. I still need you to see me God. I need you to see that I need you and help me. I need you to help me out of this situation. I need to know that you hear me. Don’t let my prayers go to waste. Answer me. I’ve been structuring my days for the last 3 weeks this will be the 4th and I’m glad that I have a morning routine now. It’s really helpful and keeps me motivated to do things but I don’t have a job or I’m in my house for most of my day cause I don’t have money like that coming in which is hard when you’ve graduated and you’re looking for work and all these jobs keep rejecting your application not even giving you an interview. I probably need to revise my CV which I’ve done like twice already. I don’t know what I’m missing or not putting but it’s annoying that I can’t seem to find something that perfectly matches what I need right now. This other job that said they’d get back to me last week still hasn’t got back to me with an interview or nothing. Logic would say why are you holding out for them and my rebuttal would be because they are the ideal job for me with the ideal hours and ideal pay that I’d need right now and they’re not located far from me which is three good and important reasons why I’m holding out. I think it’s harder for me also cause I’m not someone who likes to beg or seem desperate for things. I get that from my mum. Looking desperate is a sign of weakness to me. Even if you are desperate I think it’s better to do as much as you can to hide/control your desperation. It’s a sort of energy/vibration that mars things. My hardest things right now is filling my time with things to do. I have the time to do things but I don’t exactly know if I have the material resources to do them. But I know I have time. I also don’t believe asking for help is desperate by the way. If you need help, ask. But if you’re going for a job or service based thing in exchange for money and you reek of desperation it’s never going to go well whether you get the job or not. Can’t give people the opportunity to walk over you cause when you do they’ll surely abuse 9/10. I don’t know if we’re conditioned to do that. It’s now 10:04am. I woke up at 6:50 or 7 today (natural clock no alarm) and then went back to sleep cause I knew I had nothing to do. I’m gonna apply for some more jobs today. it’s mad that you have to see thru the tough days in order to see a very good fortunate moment in your life but I guess that’s what makes life life. It’s also not like I don’t have money in my account it’s just the fact I’m not adding to it right now that’s upsetting me. Having too much fun isn’t fun. I need to be productive. I need to be helping, I need to change lives. That’s my duty. That’s my purpose. My purpose is to change other peoples lives for the better. I do that thru helping others in my community and communities outside of mine, thru art (primarily) but also by teaching. When all I do is live a “fun” lifestyle I know I’m in my personal hell. There’s no growth here or atleast it doesn’t feel like I’m growing. But then again I’ve just thought about the fact that you don’t look at a plant everyday to see if it’s grown. You leave and come back to it and notice it’s splendour. I should probably take a leaf from that (no pun intended) and go. Cause if I take a step back and see myself 5 weeks ago vs me now there has been growth in areas. There’s also been stagnancy in others. But I know why that is which is important.
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jhlms · 1 year
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Disappointment
Recently, I’ve felt more like a disappointment to my family. My life has been one hell of a ride and honestly, I felt like I haven’t gained anything our of it. My parents has been more on my ass; especially my dad, about working and money. To him, he sees me as a child that can’t really do anything right; which i can see that because I haven’t been working since my recent job just closed down, due to, my boss not being able to pay the rent of the store. But I have been going out more, and just trying to enjoy the life that I wasn’t able to have since my dad was very strict on how my brothers and I could go out and have fun. As I grew older, i started to work and part time jobs, and like I enjoyed them for the most part, but my dad always had something to say about the jobs I was working at, since in his eyes they didn’t benefit what his standards of work should be. So whenever I left a job, due to, reasons on why I left, he would always had something to say about it, and sometimes it made me feel more like he was disappointed and that I wasn’t good enough. I left my first job at American Eagle because the work environment got really toxic after the store manager that hired me left and everything started to go downhill. I became a manger there with some of the associates that were there at the same time I was hired, but eventually, it got bad and, it felt like I was targeted there and wasn’t treated the same and or just felt like I didn’t belong as a manager=, even though I treated the associates that I managed with so much care, and really wanted to enjoy the job and make them feel like they wanted to come into work, but the other managers didn’t like how I was running the store and just turned on me, which resulted in my mental heath getting worse, and outside of work I fell more into my depression, and so I left. When my dad found out he made a big problem about me leaving and I told him what happened, but all her could say was “you should have just kept going,” and hearing that I felt like he didn’t care about my mental health and just wanted me to be there and make money. Then working at my second job, once again he felt like it wasn’t beneficial, and when I quit, he lectured me and that felt more like he was thinking I was more of a disappointment. And now since my recent job store closed down due to the rent being high, I has unemployed. And that I'm unemployed, once again my dad is involved. I’ve been trying to apply to jobs that could get me in the right track of trying to start my life, I'm 23 now, and all my dad has been doing since he’s off the ship for the time being is “when are you gonna find a job,” “You say you’re looking at jobs, but you haven't gotten an interview or are you even trying?” What he said hurt in so many ways, I understand that he wants the best for me, but I already be thinking about what I need to do, I’m constantly thinking about my life and what I need to do 24/7 and it keeps me up at night, stressing me out, making me look at jobs at 4am losing sleep because I don’t wanna have him see me as a disappoint anymore, but I still feel like even if I get a good job that supports me, it wouldn’t be enough for him to see me as his child that can provide for himself. But Idunno to me I’m never gonna be good enough for my dad. Sometimes I just wanna get away from everything and just hid and cry. Like it is my fault for putting myself into this situation. I try my best to do things but they aren't enough. At the end of the end I’m always gonna be a disappointment no matter what. 
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ohdudedhesflirting · 1 year
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The problem is this society is that it a capitalist one. Productivity is more important then well being and that is something which I deplore immensely
Agree. Though I hate it more when companies say they have a good work life balance and care about their employees when they don’t really. Some are better for sure. But I guess no one would want to somewhere that’s like “we don’t really care about you…” idk idk maybe I just like complaining
Omg wow so you are aged then ? That’s so impressive ! Congratulations for going to the next door I am very proud of you darling. And yes do take some time off to focus on work 💛
I'm assuming you meant "round" instead of "door" 😬
I’ll still be on Tumblr to talk to my moots when I’m taking a break from being an adult (but I’ll try to make my convos short because sometimes when I intend to talk to people for like 10 to 20 minutes, it becomes like an hour instead whoops lol) so I can get motivated to go to work. 
Oooh so you are writerrrr I hope I read some of your work !
I’m an illiterate writer but that is a writer lmao.
A job in the public industry might be good because I think you will a job that is safe and well paid ! I believe in you for those interviews you are going to be amazing !
THANK YOU 🫶 Regardless of the result, it’ll be good practice at least.  In my field and country, the pay is a lot lower but at least it's secure and has a good pension apparently?? Less stressful for sure.
I love that IU song I think it’s one of her best one ! I don’t know most of those lol but I’m gonna take a listen to them and see if I like them as well <3 I recognize some the title but I’m not sure I actually know them and I don’t like that le serafim song it somehow gets in my nerves ? Like I’m a mess mess mess part makes my blood BOIL
Which IU song? I think I listed like three? 😝
OOOO..can you tell me why you don’t like that leserrafim song? I want to know (and I’ll try to recommend songs away from that for you). I personally didn’t like it at first but it’s grown to me. 
I’ve actually listened to all songs before except the first one (L’enfer by Stromae) so I'll listen to it today. I really like STAYC for their vocals. I’m okay with Enhyphen lol. xikers has potential. And speaking of xikers, I’m thinking of going to KCON LA this year (most likely for the Saturday concert and if I can get meet and greet tickets. Some sources say its random while some say you can pic. Its kind of a mess but it’ll likely be the only chance I get ZB1 because I’m too scared to go to concerts in South Korea and Japan).
🤙 anon
For me when a company, a school, or a university say they are a family it’s when it’s the worst... Will from my experience that’s when it was worse ! They are no good companies that actually care ? They pretend to but they actually don’t. But at least when they are pretending it’s a little bit better ? Idk how to explain
I did meant round I am sorry. Time managing is hard and I am proud of you for tying ! I’m sure it will work towards the way you want it to ! i’m cheering for you 💛
You are not an illiterate writer. For me there is no such thing as that and get ready for a sappy moment but writing is hard, very hard and having people read it is hard as well. Taking the courage of writing is something and many people get stuck. So don’t you are illiterate. I am sure you are brilliant.
If you allow let me tell you a bit about my story with writing. (You don’t have to read it if you don’t want to). I always write stuff, when I was a kid and I didn’t like the ending of a good I would take a pen and scribble over it. I was writing little stories as well. I started to write seriously when I was 13 yo. And I started writing 2 books at that moment (never finished them). I had some MAJOR health problems when I was 13-14-15 and I was doing very bad. Writing and reading helped me a lot. When I was around 17 I had ideas for a new book, I planned it and I wrote it. A whole book of more than 300 pages. My bay. I was 19 at that point and friends and my mom read it and loved it. I send it off to house of editions, and I was rejected. I think I must be at 7-10 rejections now ? Since then I feel sick whenever I try to write, what was once my comfort became something that me sick. Now I’m trying to get back to writing with those fanfic but the nauseous feeling is still there. (Lord I made myself sad lol)
Which is why I admire writers, writers that don’t give up, that kept on trying. So don’t say you are illiterate, i believe in you and I support you.
Job security is the real deal lemme tell you. And you are still young you can still have promotions !
It was the first IU song that was in the list. I have a terrible memory I am sorry.
For the lesserafim song it’s just aphas something in the melody that itches my brain the wrong way ? It’s the same for aespa songs actually every time I try to listen to one it make my brain itch in a bad way ? I guess it must be something in the melodies or the way the voices are arranged ?
Stromae is a Belgium singer/composer and he is amazing and the lyrics are always very deep ! Stayc vocals truly are amazing and I also think xikers have a lot of potential ! And I love enha I have two of their albums lol
First of all you are American ?? I feel like going to kcon would be an amazing experience and from what I remember the lineup is crazy ! If you feel like it’s your only chance to see them try and go for it ! That would be awesome memories ! (I totally get that going to Korea/ Japan is scary and could be very overwhelming!
Hydrate yourself a lot, eat a lot, take care I love you 💛
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catwingsathena · 4 years
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I have a job interview today! For a job I actually really want! Wish me luck! 🤞🤞🤞
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burnedbyshoto · 3 years
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go the distance
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(will you) go the distance
— You’re perfectly content in life except for the fact that you are not dating Deku. When his best friend won’t help you out, you turn to the dark side to get what you want.
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pairing: pro hero!midoriya izuku x bad villain!reader
warnings: 18+, nsfw, smut, manga spoilers, pro hero!au, villain!reader, ofa usage for sex lol, size difference, manhandling, public sex, slight degradation and praise, deku eats his cum outta ya pussy, big dick deku, corruption but make it opposite, deku is a pervert change my mind
word count: 12,715
a/n: well, yall already knew I wanted to make this fic a reality, so here it is for bnharems villain collab!! check out all the already amazing stories if you haven’t already. thank you to kara, sky, and jo for reading this for me because lmao im ass rn. I’m gonna go to bed because I partied a bit too hard last night.
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your quirk: distortion – can make afflicted persons vision shift 6 cm to the left or right at the cost of having their own vision shift the same way
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“Breaking news: We have yet another report to add to the slew of attacks this month, this comes just days after we broadcasted rumors of a villain running rampant over the city. This spate of attacks has put the entire metropolitan area at a standstill, road closures, and damaged property making it difficult for commuters to get to work in the morning. 
“Road maintenance endeavors to do its best to keep the city running, but it seems futile when these attacks continue to increase. The entire city was brought to a standstill by the mysterious villain who has still not been named, but reports show they are nothing like we have ever experienced before. 
“Where are the heroes now? Who will save us from the terror overwhelming our city? 
“Every day the crime toll continues to rise and we have no one here to protect us. The Hero Public Safety Commission assured us earlier in the week that the crime rate would go down, that the top Heroes are out there protecting our city, but if so, where are they? Is it really safe to go out anymore, who can we trust? Would you put your life in the hands of a Hero today? When they have proved our streets are no longer safe. We still have no information on what is going on, or who is involved, but we must remain observant. We will continue to report the latest news as we receive it, but for now, we must implore you to heed the warnings of the city-wide curfew that is soon to be implemented. If anyone has any information on these occurrences in the city, please send them to us or contact the police, you can remain anonymous. The safety of our citizens is what is most important, stay vigilant and don’t go out unless it is absolutely necessary. One thing we know for sure: we can no longer rely on Heroes to protect us. The streets of our once-great city are no longer safe, we are no longer safe.”
The female reporter closes her eyes, despite still being on the air, her eyebrows furrowed as she exasperatedly sighs.
“Was that good enough, Mirage?”
You look at her with a pout, your eyes then clenching shut as your lips move with unsaid words as you motion for the cameras to stop rolling. You tilt your head right and left, muttering a bit.
“Did that seem better to you this time? I don’t know, I don’t think it was scary enough...”
You open your eyes to see the exasperated reporter looking at you as if she personally sought to end you right where you were sitting.
“You are the worst villain I’ve ever encountered,” she deadpans, and you laugh in agreement.
.
.
.
You weren’t really a villain.
If you must put a label on what you were, you would say that you were the best PR head any hero agency could ask for. You were, after all, the top student graduate from UA’s Business Course and had been ushered into a condensed agency the moment you were finished taking your graduation pictures. 
And well, if you are actually curious about the… villainy, you would like to uphold and continue to stress that you weren’t a villain! You were just a public nuisance – like those stupid YouTubers – with the ability to garner Pro Heroes’ attention! People had no reason to scoff at what you did on the daily.
You took both of these jobs very seriously!
It was like being straight out of a comic for you!
A simple – hopefully should the heroes you’re in charge of not be stupid – nine to five job by day, and a badass, crime-committing, sexy as shit villain by night! How could anyone ever hate you for your lifestyle! How could anyone ever hate you?!
But we are all noisy people, and everyone wondered just why you became a villain because you had a beautifully stable job with an impressive salary! Why would such an amazing woman such as yourself dabble in the evilness of humanity? 
Well, you did have an answer for the public.
“Why do you engage in evil, villainous schemes?” the reporter deadpans, absolutely and utterly not being paid enough to humor you in this forced interview.
The public loved drama, pizazz, a little showmanship even from what they deemed humanities worst! So, you told the world why you chose to be evil instead of good:
“Because I want to be!” you grin, flashing a pose as you make your away from the interviewer you had very much illegally forced to interview you. “And because a hero killed my cat!’
Of course, that was a lie! Why would you ever hand over the real reason as to why you decided to become a villain! You’d be laughed right out of Japan, possibly be murdered by a horde of fangirls!
For you see, there was one reason and one reason alone as to why you decided to take your place within the villainy hall of fame. Why you chose to do more in your day outside of your already demanding job.
And that one reason was: Pro Hero Deku, civilian name Midoriya Izuku.
Now, trying not to come off as some creepy, weirdo, stalker fangirl, you could fully admit that you were in love with the stupidly large hunk of a man that debuted as an official pro a year before you graduated from high school. 
You remember how the world was finally recovering from the year-long nightmare that had ensued. To be honest, you were stupidly surprised you had even managed to graduate, given that most of schooling had become somewhat of a joke.
FIVE YEARS AGO, MARCH, 2XXX:
It had been in the evening, the clear blue sky becoming ruby red and blood orange as you made your way out of campus. The air somehow smelled of sweet hay and gasoline, but you didn’t mind. There was hardly anyone out at this time, most students had made their way home already, and the only sounds were the moving cars of businessmen just trying to get back home.
There really wasn’t any reason to suspect anything to go wrong, this was a simple daily walk back home after school that wasn’t like any other. But then there had been a loud pop, an ever louder screech, and finally, you managed to whip your head in time to see a car tumbling through the air straight at you. 
There was hardly any time to think, even less to react, and the only thing you knew was that you were not going to survive.
You braced yourself, eyes clenching and body curling, your mind screaming because this was not going to be the way things ended. But before it could happen, before the car could come down upon you and squish you like a bug under a shoe, something picked you up and you were weightless.
Waiting for an impact that never came, the tears that were endlessly streaming down your face were suddenly stopped by rough, warm fingers smoothly wiping them away.
“Hey, it’s okay! You’re safe now!” a voice says softly to you, endearingly warm and comforting. “I’m here, don’t worry.”
“Am I… did I die?” you whisper, unsure if you even want the answer, your eyes remaining closed because you refused to open them up to some angel that could confirm your death. “God, what an embarrassing way to die!”
“Oh – um, no! You’re not dead! I promise!” the voice laughs brightly, just softly enough that you believe him and not be entirely horrified by the amused reaction. Your eyes crack open slowly, just barely peering back into the world, still half praying you weren’t dead. But all you saw was green. 
Green eyes, green hair, green clothes.
You blink, once, twice, realizing only then you were staring into the eyes of a boy about your age.
He had curly hair, freckles littering his face, and eyes that easily pierced through your very soul.
Without meaning to, your breath stopped, frozen in your lungs as you were captivated by a handsome man with a curving, beautiful smile. 
“See, I told you it was okay!” he teased you, head cocking to the side as he grinned largely.
The action itself seemed to strangle the strangest noise out of your mouth as you realized suddenly and immediately that your face was burning and all you could think was:
A cute hero rescued me, a cute hero rescued me, a cute hero rescued me, acuteherorescuedme!
“Sorry about that scare! I would’ve caught that car sooner, but I wasn’t paying attention to who was around!” the green boy apologized, bowing deeply in front of you in his apology. “There’s a commotion just up ahead, so I recommend you take the next road over.”
You nod numbly, unable to conjure even the slightest hint of your voice again as he stood up to his full length. He was average in height it seemed, taller than you, but still not towering. The hero looked behind his shoulder, those big green eyes focusing onto the distance, onto something you couldn’t even begin to imagine – or see, really. He blinked and turned back to you, smile gone but the gentle aura to him remained, but now his face, his mouth, was underlined with a sense of urgency and engagement to whatever sent a vehicle tumbling your way.
“Which train do you take home?” he asked, eyebrows relaxing from his stern position, as his smile picked up again. “I’ll take you closer to your station!”
“B train,” you manage to wheeze out – unable to be the reason why he was held up but also confused as to just what he could do to get you closer to the station that was at least a mile away from here.
“Perfect! I know where that is!” he laughs for just a moment, and before you could even ask if this was going to be some escorted thing – because you definitely did not need it – his arms were fastly secured around you, and suddenly you were weightless.
A cold wind rushed against your face, nipping at your nose, cheeks, and ears, sending your hair flying around – into your mouth! Oh, you were screaming! You were soaring through the skyline, being held by some hero you couldn’t name, and you were screeching at the top of your lungs.
Making the mistake of looking down, your arms were suddenly around his shoulders, your voice growing even sharper and louder as you squeezed against his body and refused to let go. His hands, despite the gloves, were warm on your back, and his soft chuckle warming you from nose to toes as he secured his grip on you.
“I got you,” he spoke, “I won’t let you go, I promise.”
Those words don’t exactly ease you, but there’s a comfort to the genuinity to his words. You nod nonetheless, your face buried deep into his neck. The cold wind continues to whip around you, the only thing sounding in your ears is the cruel whipping wind and quiet city below.
“I’m landing now,” he informed you, body shifting in the wind, and reflexively, you clung even tighter to him, expecting the similar stomach dropping motion of a roller coaster going straight down. “You’re – ack – c-choking me!”
The knowledge of that, hearing the strain and entirely unhidden sound of him choking against the current chokehold you had on him, you released him entirely with a shriek of your own. Was it a smart move? No, definitely not because you were how many hundreds – if not thousands – of feet in the air with a quirk that could not, and would not save you.
“It’s okay! I’m fine!” he quickly said, his arms shifting around your waist as you felt your body weight drop just the smallest bit. To which your focus landed to the concrete floor so far down, and you began screaming again. He panicked just a bit too. “Y-You’re okay too! We’re landing! We’re landing!”
Soon, but not soon enough, the concrete floor came underneath your feet, and you practically felt your knees buckle underneath you. The train station behind you was practically invisible, and you felt the floor come in contact with your knees, and you collapsed onto your hands and knees. You could feel the tears streaming down your face as you wheezed and panted, unable to move from your position. 
“Hey, look, we made it!” he laughed gently, probably being said in hopes that you would feel better. (It did make you feel slightly better, his laugh was light and pretty to listen to.) You could feel him approaching you, iron covered red shoes appearing before your vision. Looking up, you saw that the young hero was crouching, his face holding a wobbly smile that was earnest, worried, and full of unspoken hope. “I do need to get back, but before I do, are you good enough to be left alone?”
You blinked your soaked eyelashes at him, still largely unable to say anything at the cute hero in front of you who had a few scratches on his cheek, right below his freckles.
“Y-Yeah, um,” you say, your tongue cotten and lead in your dry mouth. “I-I’ll be fine, I think.”
The green eyed hero nods, offering you a hand and assisting you to your trembling legs, “That’s good to hear!” he chirped, his wobbly smile becoming a grand, bright grin. “You were really brave! I was impressed!”
Now, you were an idiot at times, but even you could spot a stupid lie. Still, hearing it said with such honesty, as if this hero who was no taller than five foot eight truly believed it, made something bubble in your chest, and soon you found yourself laughing.
“No need to lie to me, h-hero,” you manage to speak between stammering breaths, “thank you for saving me, though. I appreciate it.”
You grin crookedly at him, and to your utter delight, he reciprocates it.
“It’s the least I can do. I’d offer to take you home but… I’m not quite finished yet,” he says, and you can only nod, the conversation obviously reaching its last strides. You watch as he floats up, his eyes looking at you, but somehow focused how many miles away from where he had brought you from. “Stay safe?”
“I’ll try my best,” you agree to his question, hands clasping before your lap. “Finish the job quick, hero?”
He grins, “I’ll try my best.”
You feel a breathless sort of laugh escape you as you watch him beginning to shoot back up, but a sort of horror shoots through you as you rush forward, running right after him, hands cupping around your mouth as you scream:
“What’s your name?!”
The blur of green in the air freezes, and you stop running as you see green eyes and freckles focusing back onto you.
“Deku! My hero name is Deku!”
You stop at the curb of the street, eyes focused on the sky as the green eyed hero named Deku grins one last time before shooting off at a speed probably much faster than when he held onto you. The wind blows around you, and you can only feel the heat sitting on your cheeks and the way you’re smiling as you stare after his figure that's long, long gone.
“Deku...” you whisper to yourself, ignorant to the world of commuters beginning to appear at the station. “Thank you.”
And thus came the very apparent and obvious day in which you fell head over heels for Pro Hero Deku.
Now some people called you a stupid fangirl, obsessive stalker, and sometimes, yeah, you were obsessive and weird about your slight infatuation with a stranger. It was strange, you knew that! But you also knew that you had practically no chances of ever being able to woe the man behind the image of Deku because Midoriya Izuku practically existed as Deku 24/7.
After you graduated from high school, you were put into the same agency that was currently holding Deku. Without tooting your own rom-com obsessed horn too much, you fully expected to walk in and be handed Deku’s file as his PR manager and be able to thank him for not only saving you all that time ago, but also eventually sweep him off his feet. 
But your reputation preceded you well, probably too well, because the first day you entered the office and was handed your list of three clients to work with, neither one was for Deku. Being a PR manager for heroes was hard, a job that practically held no set hours because, unlike your typical celebrities, heroes had no type of privacy or protection. They were constantly under the spotlight, being viewed by adoring fans and scornful critics. Your job served as the first line of defense for heroes against the public, and there were some heroes that were quite hilariously easy to work for because they were genuinely good.
The older PR managers typically held the quieter, easy tempered, or less combat heavy heroes. These heroes typically never had a bad thing said about them, their job was a glorified PA job but even less because there was no expected demands from the heroes they had to take in. Unless, of course, a hero wanted to do some sort of public event they hadn’t considered. 
But there were the louder, quick to temper, or the heavy combat heroes that while made you an insane amount of money, also brought you a near 120 hour work week because there was so much to do, so much to consider, so much to keep your eyes on. There was the constant slander, the people who hated the louder, quick to temper heroes because they didn’t like their attitude, completely disregarding that they had been unsafe and a liability the entire time the hero was dealing with them. The talk shows that took months to convince to allow for an interview because they heard false rumors, and so you have to practically wrestle a boa constrictor to get a measly five minute interview done. And then the combat-heavy heroes… no one would ever shut up about building damages and how this hero broke his nose while he was stealing a store! 
Not to mention having to have every single piece of social media on your phone, set to notify you whenever your clients names were brought up so that you could look at it. You’ve seen more than enough lewd drawings of your clients to last you a lifetime, enough fanfiction, and fan edits that left you with blazing cheeks and the need to never look at your client ever again. But mostly you checked each and every update because you were their first and only line of legal defense on these sorts of things.
You’ve taken down leaked nudes, fake news, and qualmed rumors and speculations.
It was hard.
So when you were shown to your desk on your first day and three files were handed to you, you were shocked to see the hero names you would be working with.
Dynamight
Phantom Thief
Shouto
Somehow, without having yet to speak with a single one of your now current clients, you knew that you were going to have your work cut out for you.
“Good luck newbie!” the woman who gave you the initial tour chirped, clapping you on the back. “You got this!”
Good lord.
Without much to do other than reading through the three’s files, you realized that you already knew a bunch about two of three of your clients. DynaMight and Shouto were two heroes that you knew teamed up with and hung out with Deku a lot, both on-field and off-field if any of the out of costume pictures said anything. Because of their connection with Deku, you had at one point learned a bit about them.
You knew that Shouto was a crowd favorite. He was tall and sweet and a complete airhead at the best moments despite him being smart. Controversy still surrounded his character, despite all the good he did, because of the past history that was brought out about his father Endeavor and his brother Dabi. The country couldn’t figure out where they stood in terms of that reveal. Endeavor did a lot before the reveal, and continued to rise up to everything in his path despite the skeletons in his closet being thrown out for the world to see. They neither forgave him, nor hated him, they only watched and waited. Then Dabi, of course, was seen as a could-have-been version of Shouto, and many tried to ask if he was really a hero and not actually siding with the League. After all, why on Earth would he be defensive of his father too?
The public had an unmoving image of Shouto based on anything but who he was as an individual, and you decided immediately that it would be your job to fix that. He was also, after all, a dear friend of Deku, so you’d do anything.
Phantom Thief was your easiest of the three clients. A relatively well mannered man who was kind and a bit weird in a fun way. He had a great sense of self and was a reliable person on the field. He made a great hero, but you could see the way his spirit blazed with an unspoken rivalry between him and the other two of your clients. Well, it seemed like he was the best until his former self appointed rivals came into the picture, but that was hardly ever, and according to Shouto, he was way worse back in their first year. 
The greatest scandal he’s had so far in your three years of working at their agency was the one time he was lied to about a quirk and accidentally copied a woman's quirk that gave her the ability to change her cup size. Safe to say that Phantom Thief accidentally broke a few buttons on his shirt and was unable to stop civilians from snapping pictures. 
But of course, the one that had you practically crying yourself to sleep nightly for more than one reason was Dynamight.
You’d known about him the moment you looked up Deku on your phone.
They were practically a hero duo in everything but name. They were always seen doing the same things together, whether that be on patrol together or maybe getting dinner, most of their top recorded fights were done with each other by their sides. You had also learned that they were childhood friends, and you practically vibrated at the thought that even though Deku was not your client, the chances of meeting him were still astronomically high.
There was no way you wouldn’t not meet Deku!
But you were wrong, so very, very wrong.
Turns out the hero duo in everything but name meant that Dynamight refused to let Deku be anywhere near him in the agency – the very small amount of time they spent in here. The few times they were in the same room, Dynamight absolutely refused to be interrupted because that was their paperwork hour. You had only ever been blessed with seeing green curls turning the corner as Dynamight gripped your forearm, refusing to let you follow.
“Like hell I’ll let you distract the shitnerd,” he stated simply, his red eyes narrowed as he stared down his nose at you. You opened your mouth, ready to defend your not so innocent intentions. “I’m not stupid, so don’t pretend like you won’t try anything.”
Your jaw snapped shut.
Safe to say that you couldn’t do anything about Deku so long as Dynamight was around.
But Dynamight as a client was exhausting to put it kindly.
There were so many opinions and thoughts and issues and praises coming from everywhere. Hell, even the fucking Americans and westerners had caught wind of the Wonder Duo at one point and while you were well knowledgable on their opinions on Deku, the ones on Dynamight were the ones that you had to focus on now.
People still called him a villain, so many unhappy with the fact that he still screamed and cursed and threatened. There were many conspiracy theories that he was working with the long dead League of Villains. They turned their nose up at the fact that he was childhood friends with Deku, claiming that no way an asshole like him could have ever been friends with him. And of course the bullying revelation that had come out shortly after your debut. 
That had been a trip, one that had you even shocked as Dynamight approached the table in front of the media, his body calm and composed. You had watched as he simply said he owed nothing to the media, that he had already done all that he could to deserve his atonement and deserve Deku’s forgiveness. He had spoken clearly, concisely that it wasn’t any of their damn business as to what he did, and if he apologized to them, the unaffected, the ones that had nothing to do with his early years of bullying Deku, of his previous weakness and insecurity, it would be a waste of his breath. 
It isn’t to them he should ever be apologizing to anyways.
You had watched as he stood up, face calm, and hands shoved into his pockets as he stood and walked away despite the screaming reporters. You had wanted to stay longer, have your own hand in damage control, but a swoop of green came in and Deku was at the microphone eyebrows furrowed as he pointed a finger at them all and said that his past with Kacchan was between him and Kacchan only, and his decision to forgive Kacchan were his and only his.
You didn’t hear the rest, didn’t even get the option to hear the way the hero you loved defended the hero you worked for – his childhood friend.
No.
Dynamight had grabbed your elbow and dragged you out of the room with him, the metal doors clanging closed the moment fierce green eyes met yours.
You watched in the company car as Dynamight looked outside the window, one elbow on the doorframe holding his chin; his gaze focused sharply on nothing but the passing sidewalk. Had it not been for the way the hand on top of his lap trembled, you would have thought he was perfectly okay.
Neither one of you talked about that again.
But just because you didn’t talk about it again, didn’t mean the world was the same. People claimed he brainwashed Deku, others demanded that Deku beat the shit out of Dynamight. You knew that Dynamight would want nothing to do with this, but you would stay in the office (an almost useless, empty office as most PR managers did their business at home) for hours long after you were supposed to be gone, practically arguing with someone who only existed behind a screen and didn’t even care that much – but you couldn’t stop.
Seeing Dynamight’s shaking hand had really done a number on you.
“The hell are you still doing here, eyelashes,” Dynamite asked from the dark entrance of the floor. “Go home already, don’t waste your time.”
You had startled at the initial intrusion, but you immediately relaxed seeing the smudged paint around red eyes and blond hair. You barely kept your gaze on him before turning back to your computer and continuing your argument.
“I’m not wasting my time, I’m doing my job,” you remark, eyes squinting at your keyboard because your vision is definitely blurry. “I’ll be heading out soon anyways.”
“God you’re fucking annoying and stubborn!” Dynamight barked, the heel of his hand slamming into his forehead. “This is exactly why I won’t introduce you to the fucking nerd!” 
“What?!” you shriek, suddenly looking at your client as if he had personally attacked you – and in a way he did. “What do you mean you won’t introduce me to Deku because of that?! I’ve already met Red Riot, Chargebolt, Cellophane, and Pinky through you!”
“Yeah, because they’re not stubborn idiots too!” Dynamight accuses, jamming a gloved finger at you as he begins stomping your way. You startle, your chair shooting backward as the explosion hero makes his way towards you at alarming speed.
“What are you—?!” you shriek, hands flailing about as he grabs you by the collar of your distressed shirt.
Dynamight lifts you up to your feet as if you were a sack of flour and you grasp onto his forearm.
“I might tell you that you’re the most annoying and stubborn bitch in the world, but you’re not worse than fucking Deku,” Dynamight sneers, his red eyes narrowed and stern. “I’m not going to let you meet him until you learn how to give or you’ll hurt him, and I’m not going to be part of any reason as to why he gets hurt again.”
Your jaw dropped, clearly offended, but you closed it just as fast; the weight of his words made you a bit sad, even for just a bit.
“You’re kinda cute when you care for Deku, you sure I’m his biggest fan?” you tease, grinning at the hero to which he rolls his eyes.
“Shut the hell up and go home already; it’s annoying seeing you fight a losing battle that’s none of your damn business,” Dynamight simply said, putting you back onto your feet and blocking out your desk. 
“I’ll go home on the condition that for my birthday you at least consider introducing us!” you say, unwilling to move from your spot. “I’ve been working for you for three years! You’ve kept me away for three years!”
Dynamight’s stare didn’t even shift the slightest millimeter, his red eyes unamused as you groaned in grief and annoyance.
“I’m stubborn? Have you met yourself?!” you grumble snatching your jacket and purse from the hook on your cubicle and shoving them on. “My names God of Explosion Murder: Dynamight and I am Stubborn™ but will never admit it.”
You continued mocking your long time client and most definitely friend if you dared to say so, and dragged the heel of your foot all the way to the elevator to which you were joined by Dynamight. The trip down the elevator is silent, and you keep your gaze locked on the closed doors, unwilling to even look at the hero next to you.
Soon enough, the elevator reached the ground floor, and you got ready to walk out.
“I’ll consider it,” Dynamight said as the elevator doors opened. “Also, fucking stop calling me Dynamight, Bakugou’s fine.”
He walked off the elevator with his hands shoved into the pockets of his pants.
“Thank you, Bakugou!” you shriek, your lungs failing you at the thought of finally being introduced to Deku! You hadn’t moved from your spot from the elevator, your chest hammering with the thought of getting to meet Deku.
“Don’t get your hopes up, you’re still irritatingly stubborn,” Bakugou merely calls over his shoulder before lifting his hand in a halfhearted wave before stepping out of the glass door.
That brought you back to reality just a bit and you scowled, knowing you would have to go beyond and above to prove that. 
But you see, there were many reasons to cry about having Bakugou as your client. Besides the stinkhole of his previous bullying, people just were not understanding his typically prickly exterior. You had to go head to head with reputation tarnished, had to slap fangirls away who demanded that Bakugou degrade them where they stood. It was hard to not be stubborn as not only his PR manager but his friend, and in less than a month, still plenty of time before your birthday, you had already grown irritated of the meeting-Deku-card he waved over your head.
“Mei, if I have to go any longer than this, I will die and hope I am reborn as Deku’s new guardian angel,” you pouted, chin pressed against a cold metal tabletop. Your hands being used as glove models for one of your best friends Hatsume Mei. “It’s first of all impossible getting anywhere near him with his guard dog Bakugou literally stopping me whenever I’m within a ten foot radius! And then I’m not even sure what will happen when we do meet again! Would I even be able to talk to him?!”
“Why wouldn’t you? You talk to all my babies with me! There’s practically nothing you can’t do,” Mei laughs, smacking you against your back before returning her intense gaze back to the gloves. “Deku’s uh… I actually can’t remember him but I’m sure he’s a great conversationalist! I think he helped me with the Sports Festival my first year.”
 “That was Iida,” you laugh, wiggling your fingers as Mei demanded. “You’re so bad with names and faces, I’m impressed you know mine.”
“You saved my baby, of course I remember you,” Mei turned her grin towards you, “but come on, why can’t you get with him besides this Bakugou guy?”
“Well, he’s just like Bakugou! He’s practically married to his job! Their schedules basically match together perfectly! There’s literally only three hours a day while they’re on the job that they’re not together! And that’s when they patrol their own parts of town because there’s hardly any activity they don’t need to be attached by the neck.” You explain and rant, your cheeks puffing as you stand up and allow Mei to run further tests on the glove. 
“Sounds like you gotta become a villain to woo this hero guy, huh,” Mei spoke, eyes focused on the glove as you pointed a finger at the far wall and watched as a beam exploded from the fingertip and pierced through the steel wall like butter. “Too bad you’re a goody two-shoes or else I could make you some serious villain gear and make you a fearsome villain to then prove that Hatusme Mei’s babies and creations are untouchable and the best in the world! Muah-ha-ha-ha!”
You know her words are more joking than serious, but that doesn’t stop your eyes from widening. Your body shifts over to where she was standing and you screech pointing at her and just narrowly missing setting off the laser again. 
“THAT'S IT!”
“What’s it?” she asked, completely confused.
“You have to make me a villain!” you exclaim, rushing over to Mei, who is eagerly waiting for her babies returnal especially since it ran perfectly. “You have to make me near-invisible gear that can keep me going toe to toe with Deku until I can seduce him!”
“You want to turn evil?” Mei questions, finger pressing quizzically to her chin. “That doesn’t seem right.”
“I am definitely not villainous to pull that off, but like I pretend to be a villain so that he talks to me and we can like get to know each other!” you exclaim, you’re unable to keep from hopping up and down on your feet, your grin unfathomably bright. “It's practically a romcom in the making!”
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” Mei laughs, altering the band of fabric around your waist. “You do know heroes and villains hardly speak? It’s more like… ‘I’m more powerful,’ ‘No me!,’ ‘No, ME!’”
“Um, I’m pretty sure that’s not true, but whatever! I’ll figure out a way!” you continue on unaffected because this plan was genius! Especially if you had Mei in your corner?! Her recent development of not using such… steampunk designs made her creations elusive and dangerous to own. Hence why she was an extremely sought out manufacturer, by villains and heroes alike. “And if I can go toe to toe with Deku of all people, you’ll know that you and your babies are the undeniable best!”
“Hm, that is promising,” Mei agrees with a nod as she forces you around. “Is this Deku guy all that good?”
“He’s the one you made the iron soles for!” you chirp and watch as the recognition and challenge spark immediately in Mei’s yellow eyes.
“Oh,” Mei chuckles, turning away from you and looking at her pile of made babies. “This would be good.”
“So we have an agreement?” you grin excitedly. 
“Give me a month, and we’ll have your debut!”
Fuck Bakugou for thinking you weren’t good enough!
.
.
.
You hadn’t expected the initial phases of villainy to be quite as hard as it was, if you were being honest. The late nights at Mei’s personal lab made sure to keep your plans a solid secret, but you had to prepare for the wild range of what Deku’s quirk entailed.
There was smoke, something you were already used to working in because of Bakugou and his quirk. You’ve navigated quite a bit in his smog, and as long as you knew where you were, you would be fine. 
There was also that danger sense, which allowed him to know when things were coming – something that shouldn’t be too big an issue considering you weren’t actually attempting to extract danger onto him. 
Blackwhip was a big issue. How far or how much could you do if he even grabbed a hold of you. With sleuthing and the help of Mei having files on everyone's quirks, you were able to find information that blackwhip was a creation made of energy. Meaning that Mei was now making some type of destructing material to lessen the energy of the quirk, allowing for you to escape should he attempt to capture you this way.
Float was stopped by having most of your fights occur within a confined area, which was needed for you anyways! You didn’t need to be caught by anyone else but him! You didn’t actually need to land in jail – you would prefer to not be handled by anyone but Deku, actually.
Then of course the stupid superstrength and superspeed, both of which you knew you could handle with your quirk. You’ve been head to head with people with quirks similar to that before, and you knew your quirk was tricky enough that you’d manage to slip right past his fingers just fine. After all, you knew full and well that the Deku who took down S class villains was worlds quicker than F class villains – aka you.
You would be fine.
But today was day one, first of how many days it would take to get Pro Hero Deku, aka Midoriya Izuku to fall in love with you. 
You were dressed in a black and purple bodysuit that was definitely not inspired by Shego from Kim Possible’s costume. Your hair was dyed purple by a special spray Mei created that would be washed out by the end of the day, but wouldn’t ever give away that it was fake. You wore a mask over your eyes, and grinned seeing that you couldn’t see a fleck of color on your irises. 
Perfect.
And with far too much confidence, nauseating excitement, and unjustified attitude, you marched down towards your first spot, ready and adopting the identity of who you were about to become.
Mirage.
It was time to act. Deku and Dynamight were on different patrol routes right now, and you sent your threat, readying for the moment for the man in green to come in with the desire to stop you. With the very real threat of stealing every puppy within the tristate area being broadcasted within the area unless and hero bests you, you waited for your savior to come and stop you.
“I am here to stop your villainous acts, you villain!” a voice shattered the silence just as it shattered your heart. You looked over your shoulder to see some hero you couldn’t name standing at the other stairwell entrance with his fists clenched and ready to fight. 
You groaned, shoulders crumbling with your well hidden disappointment.
“I wasn’t looking for you!” you exclaimed, pointing an accusatory finger at the flabbergasted hero who was just trying to figure out what was happening. “Where’s Deku?!”
“He’s – he’s not here yet,” he stammers, eyes wide. “It’s not his day anymore to patrol this area?”
“Aw fuck!” you complain, pouting at the realization that you had messed up. “Okay, I’ll be back later, please don’t come back. Bye!”
With a small wave, you easily stepped through the door to the stairwell next to you and left, your threat empty and the hero victorious despite not actually stopping you. And unfortunately, although you had wished and prayed even, this was not the last time a screw up like this would happen.
At the threat of destroying all the cats in the area, you had another hero show up, not Deku, and you groaned and left before they could even finish their call of stopping you.
You then threatened to poison the watering system, to which you found out that Deku was held up at another major villain threat in a different city. You groaned and stomped off after that. 
Then there was the time you swore you would increase the overall temperature of the city per one degree celsius should your demands not be made. Shouto answered that one and you immediately walked away the moment you saw the familiar head of red and white coming your way.
Time and time again you kept being caught by heroes you could not care about, being confronted by no names and nobodies. It was tiring, and Mei was beginning to sigh just the smallest bit whenever you showed up to try yet again.
But you weren’t a quitter!
You would win!
This was your last attempt at getting Deku to notice you.
After threatening to wrap all the citizens in the area with a giant froot by the foot, you were almost sad to say that the heroes ignored your cry for chaos and no one had come to check on you.
You sat outside the building you used as your trap for Deku, pouting into a hot dog that the neighborhood's grandma gave you because you looked like you needed something to eat. It’s a good thing you weren’t actually a villain or else they’d be fucked, you bitterly thought as you took another bite of your food. 
It had been a month of empty, no Deku appearances, and you were going to bite the bullet and pretend to be not stubborn just so stupid Bakugou of all people could introduce you.
You kicked your feet as you sat on the staircase, humming as you watched the empty streets bend with the wind. It was quiet, beautiful, peaceful.
“YOU!” a voice shrieked to your left, and you watched a pudgy, red nosed man racing over towards you, a flash drive clenched in his hands. “TAKE THIS! RUN! DON’T LET THE HEROES TAKE IT!”
You gawked at him, feeling the small plastic device being shoved into your hands as the man collapsed at your feet. You squeaked when you heard a voice yelling stop and you bounced to your feet, turned into the building and raced in.
Your breathing was erratic, heart in your throat as you raced up the stairwell, unable to begin to imagine what the hell the information on the flash drive held. You were practically hyperventilating as you reached the floor you had come to know extremely well, and you stood near the window with shaky hands and legs.
What did you take?!
“I’m going to need that back, I’m afraid,” a low smooth voice said from behind you, and you froze immediately. Old anxiety overcome by a new anxiety, one that made your stomach flip and blood burn. 
Turning around, you felt awestruck to see the one man you’ve been waiting for… for fucking years now, really, to appear before you, finally be there. In the flesh, completely, entirely. Your jaw dropped, your gaze looking down from your clenched hand that held the USB to the way that Deku looked at you with warm eyes that were underlined with steel that made you want to drop to your knees, confess everything, and beg to be his. God, he was so fucking tall. He had only been about five foot eight the last time you had actually talked, and now he was at least a foot taller. His teenager haircut was long gone, now replaced with his curls trimmed at the nape of his neck before filling out on top – not quite an undercut. He had more freckles now, surely. His skin just a bit tanner, a scar trailing from his cheek to his jaw. You knew there were more scars, just as you knew that there were dimples when he smiled.
You wanted to have him between your legs while you begged for mercy, holy shit.
Tucking the USB into your pocket, you tilted your head as you will yourself to relax.
“I went through all the trouble of getting it... I think if I’m going to hand it over quickly, I deserve to know what’s on it, no?” you tease, your confidence coming out of nowhere while a smile spreads ever so largely over your features. Deku’s eyes widened just a bit, shock overcoming his green eyes.
“I’m sorry, but that’s confidential,” Deku stresses, taking a step forward toward you. You click your tongue, taking a step backward while grinning.
“I don’t think that’s what I asked for,” you giggle as you watch Deku’s face go through an array of emotions before settling onto one – curiosity.
“What do you want?” he asked, apparently entirely ready to discuss any and all terms and conditions with you.
“Honestly?” you reply, tapping a gloved finger to your chin as you ‘think.’ Deku, however, nods. His stance relaxing, becoming one of preparedness but not the takedown he had previously entered with.
“A date with you.”
You watch as Deku’s eyes slam wide open, his jaw dropping immediately and he stammered. Oh, how your heart soared and how you felt giddy and wonderful as he seemed to slip and slide on his own tongue!
“A-A date?!” he ends up almost shrieking, his head shaking left and right. “T-That’s a total lie! You can’t possibly – well, no! Please tell me the truth!”
But you were giddy, practically drunk off the fact that you were making the most powerful hero in the world blush like a little schoolboy. You suddenly were on the offensive, stepping towards your hero who was much larger than you with power and drive behind each step. And it must have been the way you stared him down, the way you walked towards him at blank range with such brimming confidence that Deku takes a step back. But it’s something that makes you want to laugh as the heel of his foot gets caught on a raised tile, and you watch the mountain of a man tumble to the floor.
You’re on top of him immediately, hands pressed to his shoulders, knee settling near his crotch with most of your weight so he got the idea to not do anything funny. The USB sits between your fingers, and you lean over his flushed face that looks up at you with wide eyes.
“Actually, I changed my mind, I know what I want,” you say instead, nose ghosting over his. “Everytime I decide to do something… naughty… I want you to be the hero on the case to stop me. You and just you.”
You lean in closer, so close that you could see the specks of gold in his green, green eyes.
Deku hasn’t spoken, and you’re pretty sure his chest isn’t moving as you press your breasts against his.
“Understood, De-ku?”
Your teeth tug at his bottom lip and let go as he nods.
“Good, good,” you grin, sitting up on his chest and taking the USB in your fingers and slipping it into his utility belt. “Take good care of that for me, I’ll see you next time, hero…”
You had only managed to flash a quick wave before disappearing through your usual door, hoping and praying to god that whatever the hell possessed you would continue until you reached Mei’s. It wouldn’t hit you until much, much later than you had stunned Pro Hero Deku speechless within the first meeting.
Hell, you thought giddily as you answered Bakugou’s call about how he probably just got into a bit of a messy situation, maybe you do have the potential to woo him like this. 
.
Thus truly began your descent as the villain Mirage.
.
It was quickly accepted and discovered that the moment you stepped into that costume and colored hair that you were the prey for Deku and Deku only. Most of your interactions with Deku occurred within buildings, and you used Mei’s gear to gain the final laugh each and every time to allow for you to escape. There were times, however, where you could be seen racing through the sky. Jumping from rooftop to rooftop as Deku followed after you, leaping, tumbling, and even catching you at times. 
You flirted with him heavily, allowing yourself to be caught so that you could bat your pretty lashes and press your chest against his. It didn’t matter how professional he was, how good at his job he was, Deku was a pervert – so obviously a pervert it made slipping away almost too easy.
But because you had the world-renowned, world known Pro Hero Deku as the only hero on your case, soon the small block who had to play victims to your horrendous crimes became only a small percentage of people who were watching your crimes. These near daily crimes (or inconveniences/botherings as the people on the internet say to defend you and your actions) are becoming both a worldwide sensation, and so, it took nothing for you to continue having Deku at your feet and the world chipped in. So you agreed to do interviews, forcing uneager reporters to do segments on you so that the hype behind you and Deku’s relationship grew.
You didn’t want him to leave you, not until you got what you wanted, and unless you were an idiot, you were nearly positive you were almost there.
Why would you say that?
Well, a few reasons.
The first came about a week after you had first met Deku again.
You had joyously gathered the means to create a machine to shave down an eighth of an inch of everyone's shoes in the entire country of Japan without their knowledge. You had ever so evilly explained that the point of this was to ensure that for a full day, everyone would feel off and unbalanced but would not know why.
You had said this, grinning widely as you turned around to see Deku standing there attempting to fight off a very amused smile. 
“I don’t think that would be all too evil, Mirage,” he called out to you, arms folding across his chest as he watched you set up the machine to do exactly what you said you would do.
“Mm, that’s what you say now, but just wait until you’re one of the losers stumbling around,” you say back, grinning as you turn around for just a second, wagging the knife at Deku from the distance. 
“Well, regardless, you know I can’t let you do that,” Deku laughs just slightly, and you grin, standing up.
“Oh, yeah?”
“Yes, so I’m going to have to ask you to stop right there.”
You giggle.
“Make me.”
You’re not sure what happens, but there’s dodging and weaving, spinning and sliding. You’re practically wheezing from how hard you’re laughing as Deku can not manage to land a finger on you with the help of Mei’s items and your quirk. It all comes to an end when instead of dodging, you throw yourself right at him, and Deku has not anticipated that. 
His eyes are wide open and you fiercely grin as he falls back onto the floor, unbalanced and only slightly frantic. You have the knife pointed at his neck, the dull blade sitting gently on his skin.
“So, Deku,” you taunt teasingly, your teeth burying into your bottom lip for just a moment at the sight of the dark flash in his green, beautiful eyes. “Tell me one thing, or I’ll continue on with my vile plans.”
“O-Okay?”
“Are you single?”
The second attempt came a few many weeks later. 
You had gathered about 75 tons of glitter bombs and were in the current process of making them one. You had plans of setting it off over Tokyo so that for practically the rest of eternity, the entire city would have glitter everywhere. The only thing is that you did have to glue the glitter bombs together because, well, no one made super giant ones.
“This is so annoying, there’s glitter everywhere, and I’m only ten glitter bombs in!” you complain to the ‘empty’ room but knowing full and well that Deku had appeared through the broken window at least five minutes ago.
“If it’s annoying to you, then shouldn’t you stop?” Deku replied and you grinned. 
He really couldn’t stay quiet, huh?
“Well, if it’s annoying to me, then that means every one of my victims will also find it annoying. Win-win situation.” you say, turning around towards him and winking. Facing back towards the glitter bombs you scowl, “stupid fucking glue gets everywhere, too!”
“Regardless, you know I can’t let you do that,” Deku said as leveled as he could although you swore you heard a laugh in his voice.
“Just try and stop me,” you reply back stone cold.
You stand up and watch as Deku stands up from the windowsill and sighs just a bit too heavily.
“Guess I have to,” he says and shoots out before you’re well prepared.
Typically, and probably in any other situation, this would have been the end. Pro Hero Deku had come at you with the speed and power as he took out any other Class F criminals, but unfortunately for him, and definitely fortunately for you that glue was EVERYWHERE.
Deku’s hand was stuck onto your arm, and your chest was glued to his stomach, and you swear you never quite got the strawberry Deku references until right now.
The perverted hero burned scarlet, his face practically simmering with heat as your body became undeniably stuck to his. You had to fight off the vindictive smirk, the practically snarling grin as you could feel something hot and heavy twitch at your hip.
“Fuck,” Deku wheezed.
“Fuck, yeah,” you grinned.
.
.
“WHAT?!”
.
.
Deku could not look you in the eyes for about 10 more interactions following that, but you counted that as a win. But undoubtedly, your starred and favorite memory of it all was something that occurred just last week of the current present events.
You had stood on top of a building, threatening the entire government of stealing (i.e., cutting off) the aglet of their shoes and sweaters and then removing all the laces so that it would result in their wasted time and entire humiliation!
“I don’t think most people even know what aglets are, to be honest,” Deku said from behind you. You turned around to see that he was standing there with an unsuppressed grin. “It’s not a good enough threat.”
You go unfazed by his judgement, choosing to instead bat your eyelashes and push your hair behind your ear.
“Not a good enough threat, and yet, you’re still here?” you tease, enjoying the way pink flushes to his cheeks.
“Where else would I be?” he says, and you have to ignore the way your stomach fills with butterflies. 
“You’re not cute when you flirt back,” you deadpan, biting your tongue harshly when he says ‘hey!’ “Enough chit chat, let me kick your ass now and then do what I need to do.”
Unlike probably what is 95% of the time, you made the first move today. 
You were on the offensive, jabbing and weaving, sweeping and punching. Deku’s green eyes were nearly black as he watched you, analyzing and taking in your movements, countering them all without so much of an issue.
“I still don’t get your quirk,” Deku grunted as his hand swiped at the empty air. “Why won’t you tell me?”
“So then you can turn me in to the government who are still salty about their aglets? I don’t think so!” you say with a laugh, rolling out of the way as Deku lunges forward. “Try again, baby, I have full faith that you’ll get it.”
Deku puffed out a chuckle and lunged again, his huge gloved hand swiping at you, with nearly accuracy despite your quirk being on. But… he wasn’t exactly perfect.
RIIIIIIIIIP!
Cold air hit your breast and your jaw dropped as your very exposed breast appeared before you and Deku. Pro Hero Deku had torn the breast of your costume, the costume that you purposefully did not wear a bra for because you had wanted this exact scenario to play out.
“DEKU!” you screech, pretending to be modest and covering your tit as Deku finally yanked himself out of staring at your breast and whipped around. 
“Oh my god, I am so sorry! I didn’t think that was going to happen! I didn’t even mean to look at your boob! It just sort of all happened too fast and it was very shocking! N-Not that you have an ugly boob or anything because actually I think you have a very great boob! But oh my god, I need to shut up please ignore me!” Deku spoke so fast in a matter of five seconds, and you couldn’t even tell him to come back as he sprinted away.
His ears burned red and you swore even as he was gone, you could still see the red of his ears illuminating the sky.
You laugh.
“What a perv.”
And so, we are back to the beginning.
Back to how you forced a local news channel to read your demands so that you could hopefully take your final bow as Mirage forever.
With the threat of having a machine that would make dogs bark at a frequency for hours on end until humans eardrums broke then bleed. You made your way to your typical building and hummed as you waited. 
The world outside was the same as always.
There were a few people out, a few cars driving through the street, and a few birds chirping here and there.
It was peaceful.
“Don’t you think the new reporter thing was a bit dramatic?” Deku chuckled from behind you.
You were used to him approaching like that, used to him trying to portray being elusive and cool. In your opinion, it just made him dorky.
“No such thing as being dramatic when I’m trying to go head to head with the greatest hero ever,” you respond back effortlessly. You spin on your heel and look back at Deku, who is leaning against a doorframe that he most definitely is slouching on so that the top of his head doesn’t hit the frame. “Hi, Deku.”
“Hi, y/l/n,” he says with a soft smile, one that's slightly victorious, one that makes your stomach knot in a pleasant way.
“Ah, you discovered my secret identity,” you observe, grinning as you begin approaching Deku. “Should I be scared?”
“Probably not, I don’t think I could do anything to you,” Deku sighs, pushing off the door frame and walking towards you too. “You’re pretty amazing, y/l/n.”
“Let’s prove that then,” you grin while zipping forward.
As if the both of you knew that this was the end of the line, the final confrontation, the battle this time was different. It was showy, flirty, full of spins and side steps, playing a game of cat and mouse while dodging and weaving. You laughed as blackwhip dissolved around your costume, and you frowned as he began using more of his power to get from point A to point B much quicker.
You’re not quite sure how it happened, what exactly you did wrong, or maybe Deku just finally figured out the pattern you used for your quirk because suddenly you were being tackled from behind. You shrieked as the two of you went down, his body flushed on top of you, his chest pressing to your shoulders. 
The both of you were heaving, panting, completely out of breath from the five minutes you took playing around. He holds your wrists in one hand, pinned above your head, and the other one is on your waist. You were trapped beneath him, unable to move the absolute unit of a man above you, arms and hips weak to his weight. You shoved your hips up, attempting to shift some of his weight off you, but you froze as he choked on a breath by your ear.
Your ass was pressed against something hard, thick, and hot.
Oh.
Ohhh fuck.
It was happening.
Holy fucking shit.
Your breathing hitches as you thrusted your ass up again, confirming you were grinding on what was definitely Deku’s hardening cock. And once again, Deku makes the prettiest, most embarrassed gravelly grunt at the back of his throat and you feel like every strand of resistance and strength snaps.
The hand on your waist pulls you even closer against his crotch, and there's lips pressing against your neck, and you absolutely lose it. 
He kisses your neck sloppily, teeth nipping at your exposed flesh, and you grind against him, moaning and thrusting back as your body feels like it's on fire. He wanted you! He wanted you and your plan to woo him worked!
“I’ve wanted this for so long,” you keen breathlessly. “Wanted you so badly, Deku.”
“Fuck,” Deku curses, his hips thrusting back against your clothed ass with power you couldn’t fucking wait to feel. “I wanted you too. Wanted you so badly, but didn’t think – holy shit.”
His hand that pins your wrists lets go of you, and moves to grab your jaw. You nearly fucking melt as his full lips slam against yours, and you moan as his lips move against yours. There’s something indescribable about how he’s kissing you, the want, the need, the months of suppressed tension bursting through every move and curve of his mouth. It doesn’t matter to you that you’re pressed up against the concrete floor, you feel like you’ve been placed into another world, an area where you can never come back.
Your arm reaches behind you and buries into his soft curls, you tug at them as your ass circles against his thrusting hips. His tongue slips into your mouth, and you whine at the hot, wet muscle in your mouth, and it sends your head spinning. You can’t take it anymore, you need him, want him flushed against your front.
“Can I fuck you?” Deku asks swollen lips pulling away from yours, his mouth frantic and trailing kisses up your cheeks and down your jaw. “Please, I wanna fuck you so bad. Wanna fuck you on the floor and against the wall. Can I make you mine?”
You nod your head frantically, unable to come up with the words to say in order to tell him yes.  
Deku laughs breathlessly and flips you over so that it’s your back against the floor now. 
And just like you want him to, Deku comes down to reclaim your mouth. Hot, open mouthed kisses, teeth tugging at your lips and hands grabbing your waist. His hands are huge against you filling up the space between your hip and your waist without an issue. Your legs wrap around his waist, feeling entirely small underneath him, but entirely ready to be fucked by him.
His lips move expertly against yours, teeth nibbling at your lips, mouth then sucking on your tongue. You can’t keep the continuous moans from leaking out, can’t keep yourself from staying quiet as your eyes flutter open and see green eyes so dark they look black, staring down at you with the intensity of a predator. 
You were his prey, and you would present to him at the drop of a hat.
His body is hot, heat rolling off of his hero costume in waves, making you feel like you were near burning against him. And the heat between his thighs sits at the bottom of your ass, thrusting up and grinding against you so that you don’t forget even for a moment that you are making him this way. 
“I always knew you’d have such a pretty moan,” Deku mumbles as his fingers find the zipper to your costume and begin to tug it down. His lips trail down your neck, biting and nipping at the newly exposed flesh. “Knew you’d look so pretty under me, waiting to be fucked into submission.”
The words spark something within you, your eyes fluttering as your hips grind just a tad bit faster and you whine. 
“Aw, is that what you wanted this entire time, y/l/n?” Deku asks, his grin pressed against your collarbone. “Wanted to be stretched out and fucked until you can’t anymore?”
“I want it,” you gasp, your fingers burying deep into his curls. “I want you, I want it, I want your dick in me already!”
“Not into foreplay?” Deku chuckles just a bit, tongue then tracing up your neck. 
“Oh I am,” you snap, fingers finding the zipper of his own costume. “You can find out later how much I’m into it, but right now, I have been wanting you for years, and you will not make me wait any longer!”
Deku only nods frantically, and it's a mess of limbs, sloppy kisses, and clothes as the both of you strip to nothing. 
Deku’s in between your legs, one hand pressed to the back of your knee, the other gripping what you believe is his dick because it makes everything in the world freeze as you see it. It’s huge, so thick that his hand wraps around it in a nice grip, and it long, curling up to his abs, curved and veiny. 
“Holy shit,” you squeak, your cunt already clenching at the thought of taking that in. 
“Are you ready?” Deku asks, the hand on your leg moving away for a moment as he cards his fingers back through his hair. “I don’t have a condom, though.”
“That’s fine, I don't care,” you dismiss his words, eyes too focused on the flush cock in his hand. “I don’t think I’ll live after you kill me with that anyways.”
Deku laughs just a bit, his dimples flashing as he leans in and kisses you deeply. You tremble underneath him, feeling so small pressed up against him, and you mewl when you feel the head of his cock pressing between your folds.
“Put it in,” you gasp, leg lifting and wrapping around his waist, “put it in! I want you to fuck me until I can’t walk, do you understand?!”
Deku nods, and with a sense of frantic need, his hand guides his cock into you.
It feels like you’re splitting in half. The girth of his cock stretching your walls out to the max, and he’s only going in. You scream loudly, both in pain and pleasure because it hurts so good.
“Take it, baby, take me all in,” Deku pants, his hips pushing out small, tiny thrusts to ram his cock further and further into your twitching cunt. “That’s i-it, holy fuck, that’s it! You’re taking me all the way in. F-Fuck… you’re so amazing! So fucking perfect!”
Tears are pouring out of your eyes, and your nails are tearing into his back, you sob slightly overwhelmed with his cock and the absolute pleasure of finally getting what you want and it being so much better than you thought. Your cunt throbs almost violently as Deku’s cock finally hits your cervix and your eyes roll to the back of your head as he thrusts in further, lips attempting to claim yours. 
“Fuck me, Deku,” you beg, hips beginning to slam and fuck up onto his cock. “Please! I need you!”
“Such a desperate little villain though,” Deku sighs, teasingly, giving you one strong thrust for good measure. It goes a long way though, the power behind his thrust and thighs promising you a bruised ass, thighs, and cunt makes your mouth water for more. “I need you to promise to never do anything like that again and be a good little manager for Kacchan.”
“W-Wha–”
“Be good and stop being Mirage, or else you won’t be fucked.”
There was no hesitation.
“Okay.”
And just like that, Deku’s soft smile curves into a knowing, fierce smirk, and you can do nothing as his hands press to the back of your knees and he begins thrusting his hips into you. And it takes you completely out of control. 
It’s a messy, frantic dance, your body holding onto his, your lips pressing against his, desperate and needy for his, and he is basically trying to imprint his body onto yours, the concrete, and the walls. Your bodies are so foreign to each other, and yet, when he fucks into you just a bit hard, just a bit faster, you come undone, back arching and toes curling as you sob his name.
It’s overwhelming to know that he can read you this well and for you to have never fucked him before. It’s empowering to see that he likes every forced and involuntary squeeze and clench of your cunt. He loved when your nails dug into his skin, raking their existence against the plane of broad muscles and scars. 
Deku curses your name as you clench around him, his hands moving to your jaw so that he can lift your face to kiss him just so. He kisses you with a heated passion, a need that strips your entire being bare, and his hips slam so loudly against you, the slicked wetness is squelching and slapping with every grunt and moan.
In and out his cock goes, and you praise him and his cock.
You praise him for making you feel so good, for stretching out your pussy with that fat cock of his. You beg for more, and more, and more. You want every snap of his hips to send new colors to your vision, and every echoing squelch of your meeting, sloppy sexes only adds to the blabbering, unmanaged sentences from your lips. 
“Harder, faster, more!” you beg, practically wailing against his shoulders, needing him more and more. The concrete hurts against your back, but you don’t care. You don’t care if he breaks your back, it’s a fall you’ll take. “Don’t hold back! Don’t you dare hold back!”
“Fuck, you’re crazy,” Deku gasps, his sweaty brow burying into your cheek. “I won’t though, I won't. Be ready, I’m not sure if you can take it.”
Before you can snap back that you can in fact take it, Deku’s weight falls heavier onto you and the angle shifts just slightly, and your words are ripped right out of your throat for a pitched, window shattering screech. Deku fucks into you with a new power, some untapped strength as greenspark falls from his skin as he ruins you for anyone ever again.
Your voice begins to scream out, the feeling of his vicious, thick cock snapping into you, shoving your shoulders further and further into the concrete was sending your head spinning. Your body is convulsing as he fucks you with new vulgar need and strength. But before you could scream your praises, Deku’s fingers shove into your mouth, and his other hand wraps around your neck, silencing your words and noises as he fucks up into you again and again and again.
“So loud, angel,” Deku smirks, fingers stroking and pinching your tongue as saliva pours endlessly from your mouth. His voice isn’t strained however, doesn’t have any indication that he’s out of breath or ready to tap out and that nearly makes you go insane. “I can’t wait to see everything that makes you look like this… you’re so pretty when you’re getting fucked.”
Your head is spinning, the heated tightness in your core clenching and throbbing as his conquesting cock never once stops or lessens. It just grows and grows and grows. His cock twitches in you, and your eyes roll to the back of your head as he lets out a deep moan. 
“Such a good and wet cunt you are,” Deku gasps as you gag against his fingers that press roughly against the back of your tongue. Your vision feels hazy, but you feel like you’re on cloud nine as his hand on your throat opens and closes, demonstrating his power over you. “I’m so glad you went through all this hard work to get me to fuck you.”
You can’t speak, so you nod desperately, you were so happy you did this too. 
Your hips buck up into him with sheer stubborn drive to get him to toss his head back and moan, you wanted to see him unhinged too. Your eyelashes flutter, as his hands remove themselves from your face, and they move to your hips to help you out. But the building tightness and demanding need in your cunt was growing louder, hotter, completely undeniable. Your teeth sinking against his skin as you whimpered loudly, absolutely pathetically as you shifted faster, fucking against him harder.
“I-I’m so close,” you manage to moan out, and a sharp escape of air comes from his nose at that revelation.
Deku nods, his head moving so that his forehead rests against yours as he looks deep into your eyes. “I need you to look at the way your belly bulges while I fuck you before you cum, I want you to watch it bulge as you cum.”
You whimper, the strain in your neck almost insufferable as you peer down at your hastily exposed stomach, and you nearly faint at the pornographic, near-insane image of your stomach bulging with his hammering monster of a cock. And just like that, the tight heat in you snaps without a hitch, and you come tumbling down from the heights of your building orgasm. White heat and light spread through your body, your jaw slacking as you moan loudly, screaming his name as you convulse against him, body entirely limp. Deku, who was barely hanging by a strand, completely loses it when your core clenches like a vice against him. 
Hot, thick ropes of cum spurt from his cock, his heavy, shaking gasps the only thing you can hear as he fucks into you once, twice more for good measure he collapses onto his forearms above you. It’s hot, almost too hot as he lays on top of you, the sticky fluid of his cum radiating against your already blazing walls, and for a bit, there’s silence.
Deku is the first to move afterward, and you whine as he pulls his cock out of your sore, abused pussy. You make a noise of curiosity then fear as Deku spreads your legs even more open and moves so that his head is face to face with your cum filled pussy.
“What are you–?!” you screech as Deku takes a lick out of your dripping cunt.
“Fuck, this does taste good,” Deku smirks as he once again licks your overstimulated pussy and you sob. “Besides, who said we were done?”
.
.
.
.
.
bonus! 
“Everyone, this is my girlfriend y/l/n y/n!” Izuku happily introduced you to his group of friends.
“What the hell?!” Bakugou screamed, thrusting a finger at you and all you did was laugh.
So much for not being stubborn, huh.
863 notes · View notes
luci-in-trenchcoats · 3 years
Text
If I Fell For You (Part 1) - The Nanny
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Summary: The reader interviews for a new live-in nanny position with Jensen and quickly gets the job but she starts to slowly see that her new employer is going to be different than any other she’s had before...
Masterlist
Pairing: Jensen x nanny!reader
Square: Slow Burn
Word Count: 4,800ish
Warnings: language, mention of death of a spouse/death of a parent
A/N: Please enjoy the first part of this series! This was also written for @supernatural-jackles​ Tell Me A Story Bingo!
________
If someone had said you’d be celebrating your 30th birthday by accepting an interview to be a live in nanny when you were a kid, you would have told them they were nuts. Beyond nuts. Beyond help for that matter.
But there you were. Thirty. Single. Childless. Taking care of other people’s families and not doing much else with your life. You weren’t sure if your mom would have been on you about the no kids thing or the no boyfriend thing more to be honest.
But the pay was normally good and sometimes great and it gave you a taste of family, even if you were just the help to the adults most of the time.
You buzzed the button by the gate at the end of the driveway, a brief moment passing before it opened. It was probably on a timer like most of the people you’d worked for before, an alarm system kicking on at some point in the evening that required a buzz in, the code or a car sensor. You drove down the driveway and parked a little behind a black SUV. The house was a little modern, a little grand, a little overwhelming. A fence and lots of trees surrounded the property. The yard appeared large but you could see houses on either side. Private but suburban. 
The cadillac wasn’t a shocker. Most everyone in these neighborhoods had Escalades. You walked past an open garage on the way up, a muscle car and a more modest smaller SUV parked inside. You went up the very short path and stepped up, ringing the doorbell and fixing your shirt. You were in jeans and a plain gray shirt. It was your normal wear for chasing small children around all day and you weren’t a fan of uniforms.
“Hi,” said a very tired, very handsome man as he opened the door. “You must be from Nanny Core.”
“I’m Y/N Y/L/N from Home Pair,” you said with a smile. He shut his eyes and leaned his head against the door. 
“The last girl was from Nanny Core,” he said. He blinked them open and shook his head. “I’m so sorry. Yes, Y/N. You’re the one that’s a consultant, not firmly associated with Home Pair, right?”
“Correct,” you said as he opened the door more and you stepped inside.
“Can I ask what the distinction is?”
“Mostly it has to do with benefits,” you said. “Consultants pay out of pocket for their own or negotiate with their client for those to be covered.”
“Gotcha,” he yawned. You looked ahead and he wiped his hand over his face. “I’m sorry. I must seem like an ass.”
“You seem tired is all Mr. Ackles. Not a crime,” you said with a smile. He nodded and he returned it, no fake cheesiness to it. 
“Mind if we do the interview in the kitchen over a cup of coffee?” he asked.
“Wherever you like, sir,” you said. You took off your shoes when you noticed he didn’t wear any inside and he chuckled as you walked back farther into the house.
“Uh, for the record, call me Jensen. None of that sir stuff. They must teach that at nanny school or something huh?” he said, motioning to a table. “I noticed all of you do it.”
“Something like that,” you said. You took a seat and watched him go to a coffee machine, fumbling with it before he spilled some ground coffee on the counter. He shut his eyes and gripped the counter’s edge, taking a deep breath to himself. “How about I make the coffee and you take a seat, hm?”
“I’m okay,” he said as he opened his eyes. 
“Well making you coffee is probably going to come up in my job quite a bit so consider this part of the interview. It’s alright, really,” you said. He glanced over to you and you smiled. 
“Thank you,” he said. You swapped places with him and got him a cup going, taking a mug off the counter and waiting a beat before liquid started pouring out. “I’m gonna ask you the same question I’ve asked all seven other women I’ve talked to today.”
“Yes?”
“Why should I trust you to watch my children?”
“Honestly?” you asked as he nodded. You smiled and carried the cup over to him, Jensen taking a long sip. “You shouldn’t.”
“I shouldn’t. That seems counterproductive.”
“I wouldn’t trust any stranger with my child. Trust is earned, not given. I think the real question is do you believe I’m capable of earning that trust with you and that’s something intrinsically only you know.”
“How so?”
“You meet a lot of different kinds of people with this job. My gut reaction to you is stressed, overwhelmed, sleep-deprived father who doesn’t really want any nanny at all but is forced into this situation. It’s going to be impossible for you to trust any of the seven woman from earlier or me off the bat, Jensen. You should be thinking of who will you come to trust. Who can you count on.”
“This is why my wife should have been the one doing this,” he said, smiling to himself as he drunk down most of the hot liquid.
“We could always re-schedule for when she’s available.”
“Oh, we’d have to wait a very long time for that,” he chuckled. He sat the mug down and glanced down briefly, smiling as he looked up. “She passed away unexpectedly six months ago. Car accident.”
“I’m sorry for your loss,” you said. He nodded and made a face like he wanted to make a comment. “My mom died kinda unexpectedly. I know it’s...harder.”
“You’re young. How old?”
“Turned thirty today,” you said. He laughed and you heard the life behind it, Jensen shaking his head.
“Well Happy Birthday. I meant with your mother though. If that’s okay with you I mean.”
“It’s fine. I was sixteen,” you said. 
“That...fucking sucks doesn’t it?”
“So does losing your wife,” you said. 
“Yes it does. I’ve grieved. We all have. The kids are small. They’ll be okay.”
“Is dad okay?” you asked.
“Yes. Ready to start moving on with life again,” he said with a soft smile. “You’re kind. Not in a I’m trying to get this job kind of way. Just kind.”
“Well being cruel doesn’t sound like very much fun,” you said.
“You’re not trying to impress me.”
“The first rule of nannying, Jensen. You think you’re interviewing us when in reality we’re interviewing you too.”
“How am I doing so far?”
“Nice coffee choice,” you said with a smile that he nodded at. “You respect people. You’ll employ me but won’t treat me like I’m second class. You’re checking the boxes so far.”
“What if I don’t check all the boxes?”
“You don’t get to know the luxury of knowing the answer yet, Mr. Ackles,” you said. “Interview isn’t over.”
“You got fucked over by somebody, didn’t you.”
“Also perceptive,” you said. “Like I said, I don’t tolerate being treated unkindly anymore. It’s why I left my last position.”
“I have one more question,” he said. “Would you treat my children like they’re your own?”
“Again, asking the wrong question,” you said. He sat back and crossed his arms, smirking at you.
“What exactly should I be asking?”
“Will you treat my children kindly and with respect but take charge when required?”
“What’s the difference?”
“One is me doing my job and the other is me doing yours.”
“How old did you say you were again?”
“Thirty today.”
“Right. Well I think I know where I stand. Do you have anything for me?”
“Can you show me a picture of your kids?” you asked. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. “You answered my question.”
“I didn’t show you anything yet.”
“You’d be surprised how many fathers I’ve met don’t carry pictures of their children in their wallets. That one is just a me thing.”
“Your dad do that?” he asked as he tucked it away.
“Maybe,” you said with a shrug. He was polite enough to not go down that route though and this was already getting more personal than you anticipated. “I think I know where I stand as well.”
“I’d like to hire you,” he said.
“Assuming our negotiations go well, I accept,” you said. He held out his hand over the table and you shook it.
“I did come up with what I thought was fair for salary and benefits. Let me go grab the paperwork and hopefully settle on something,” he said. He excused himself and you looked around the house, already trying to familiarize yourself with things. He was more relaxed when he returned with some papers and a notebook, handing you a few sheets. “If I’m missing anything let me know. I-”
“This is my weekly rate?” you asked when you saw the number at the top of the page.
“Oh no. That’s your daily,” he said as he took a seat. “So I think that’s-”
“Jensen,” you said, pushing the paper back. “I have to ask, things like insurance, are those coming out of your pocket or mine?”
“I’ll cover the expenses of your health, dental, all of that. You just choose and I’ll subsize it as part of your paycheck,” he said. 
“This is for a live in position. Um...can you just...explain what makes up that daily rate number?” you asked.
“It’s simply your base pay. Obviously I pay for housing, utilities, gas obviously. I will get you a credit card to make purchases with for the kids and all of that so it’s simple to keep track of. You’re free to any of the food in the kitchen. I’m guessing the salary is the sticking point here.”
“Jensen,” you said as you scratched your head. 
“I can go up fifty more dollars a day.”
“Jensen. This is way, way too much money. Way too much,” you said. “The average rate around here is about twenty five an hour or two hundred a day. Jensen this is double that. Are you factoring in like time and a half for additional nights and weekends?”
“No. That’d be on top of that. I thought that was a fair value based on the fact you are going to be taking care of the most valuable things in my life. It’s gonna get taxed too so it’s not like you see all of it.”
“You’re sweet, Jensen,” you said, writing down a number at the top of the page. “The average in Austin is twenty five an hour. I would be very happy with that.”
“You have to literally be the first person in existence to negotiate their salary down from the offer,” he said.
“Are you rejecting my offer?” you asked. He took the paper and crossed your number out, jotting down his own and spinning it back. “Jensen.”
“Y/N,” he said, crossing his arms. “I came down. Now it’s your turn. Do you accept?”
You knew thirty five was still way overpriced for the job, especially considering everything else he was paying for.
“I will accept on the condition that you get four hours of what we’d call evening or weekend at the normal rate ever week.”
“I can agree to that,” he said with a smile, writing that down. “So medical plan. Single, plus one, family?”
“Single for all that,” you said. 
“I should mention that there is an in-law suite off to the other side of the garage where you’ll be staying. It’s just down the hall but it has its own small living area and kitchenette. There is a separate entrance to it. If you have guests over I just ask you keep them to your area of the house,” he said.
“Absolutely. I don’t tend to bring people over much anyways while I’m on the job,” you said. He let you read over the rest of the benefits, a good amount of sick and vacation time too. Technically you were free evenings and weekends but he could ask you to work longer if he needed you and you were available. Overall everything seemed in order. “Alright. Everything looks good to me.”
“Awesome. Are you available to start Monday?” he asked.
“Sure,” you said. “It gives me plenty of time to move in things tomorrow so I can jump into the kids routine first thing Monday.”
“Perfect,” he said. “I’ll show you around. We can start with your side of the house.” You got up and followed him over to near the front door and down a long hallway, past a set of doors. There was a frosted glass one to your left just before he pushed open a wide white one.
Behind it was a living area and kitchen. Not huge, about the size of a small apartment. There was a TV and sectional, a table tucked against the wall and a kitchenette like he’d mentioned with full size appliances. 
“Like I said, I know it’s small. Please like, seriously watch TV out in the family room at night if you want or hang out wherever or the yard or pool. This is just your own space when you want to be away from us.” You hummed and he showed you a closet and then a bedroom and bathroom. It was simple but decorated nicely and looked relaxing. “If there’s something obvious I’m missing please let me know. A cleaning service does come by every two weeks on Tuesdays at around ten in the morning. They’ll do in here too. Otherwise you can keep after yourself. Cleaning stuff is in the laundry room. Oh yeah. Um, this is probably the last time I’ll like, ever come in here unless you need help moving things in since this will be your space.”
“Thanks. I don’t have too much. I do have one request before we sign all the paperwork.”
“What’s that?”
“I’d like to meet the kids if that’s alright. There’s not much point in hiring me if they hate me.”
“Fair point. We’ll get ‘em over here and then get you all squared away.”
Monday Morning
“Good morning,” you said, a cup of coffee in your hand already as Jensen yawned. 
“Morning,” he mumbled. His hair was a mess and he was in only a pair of boxer briefs before he paused and looked down. “I should probably put on some clothes.”
“This is your house. Wear whatever you normally would. Pretend I’m invisible,” you said as you poured a cup of coffee into a mug for him.
“Sounds like you worked for some real assholes,” he said, graciously taking the cup. “As long as it doesn’t bother you, me walking around in my undies.”
“No, not at all,” you said with a smile. “Would you like me to drop the kids off at school and daycare this morning?”
“Sure,” he said. “Car keys are on the table by the garage.”
“Okay great. I’m used to driving that kind of SUV,” you said. You snuck a look at your schedule you’d printed out again, knowing the twins would get need to get picked up around noon. You started to work on their lunches and snacks for the day while he took out the carton of eggs from the fridge. He cracked one into a pan and turned the heat on, yawning again as he got out some bread and threw it on a plate. “Would you like me to make lunch for you as well?”
“No thank you. I’m getting lunch with my manager today. You don’t have to make me coffee in the morning either, Y/N. Your job is to take care of the kids, not me,” he said.
“A cup of coffee is not difficult, Jensen. My job is to help you so if I can make dad’s life a smidge easier it’ll make theirs better too,” you said with a smile.
“You’re not like, a morning person are you,” he chuckled. “I don’t do peppy in the morning.”
“Oh no. I’m always a little nervous when I start a new job. I’ll get a rhythm down soon,” you said.
“So what do you normally do once the kids are dropped off?” he asked as he got out a spatula.
“On a weekday I’ll review their schedule, see if anything different is going on. An average day like today I will clean their rooms, their bathroom, do some laundry while they’re at school, maybe some shopping. I’ll pick up the twins, bring them home for lunch, a little playtime, a nap. We’ll have some quiet time and maybe a craft or coloring before we get JJ from school. Then I’ll give them all a snack, we can get outside and play to get some energy out. I’ll help JJ with any schoolwork she has while the twins play and then I will start on dinner about the time you’ll be getting home. Since you have no plans currently tonight I’ll leave you guys be at that point until tomorrow unless you ask me for help.”
“So when do you take a break?” he asked.
“Naptime. I’ll have lunch with the twins. Don’t worry about me Jensen. That’s my normal plan but if you would like me to run some errands in the morning I can,” you said.
“No, no. Just…” he trailed off. “I still want to make them breakfast and dinner and play with them too is all.”
“We’ll figure out the right mix of things,” you said. “You just gotta tell me is all, okay? It can vary day to day too,”
“Yeah,” he said, taking his fried egg out of the pan and placing it on one piece of bread. He made a sandwich and took a big bite, looking out the back window. “I never asked. How was your birthday?”
“Hm?” you hummed, dropping some carrots into a reusable bag.
“On Saturday you said it was your 30th. You do anything fun that night?” he asked with a soft smile.
“I got a new job. That was the highlight of my day,” you said, Jensen cocking his head. “I ordered pizza, binged netflix. My normal Saturday routine.”
“I know everybody jokes about 30 but it’s really just jokes. Wait until you’re 42,” he chuckled. “Then you really feel old.”
“Most 42 year olds would kill to look like you,” you said. You shut your eyes and shook your head. “I’m so sorry. That was so inappropriate.”
“It’s alright. I took it as a compliment,” he said, smiling again. “So you did nothing for your birthday, huh?”
“Uh, no,” you said, mixing in some grapes into each of the snack bags.
“I’m gonna get you a birthday cake,” he said.
“Mr. Ackles-”
“I thought I said it’s Jensen. I’m the boss so what I say goes. We’re gonna have a birthday cake for you tonight. So. What’s your favorite flavor?”
“Whatever you want is perfectly fine.”
“Y/N.”
“...I like red velvet,” you said. He smiled and chuckled. 
“That was my wife’s favorite,” he said. “Haven’t had that since her birthday. She would have liked you.”
“You think so?”
“Yeah. You’re quite kind to me. She was always protective of me, even if she was the scaredy cat most of the time.”
“Can I ask how…” you said as he took another bite.
“Accident. Tractor trailer versus her car. He tried to miss her but it was too late. I wanted to hate the guy too but it was an accident and I couldn’t blame him for that.”
“My father died in a car crash when I was six. It does get better with time,” you said.
“That’s why you didn’t know if he had a picture of you in his wallet or not,” he said as you nodded. “You’re too young to have that much tragedy in life.”
“So are you.”
“I’m not young anymore.”
“You’re young and overly generous,” you said with a smile. 
“Misery loves company,” he said as you both heard a few feet above you running around. “Munchkins are up.”
“You want to make breakfast or should I?” you asked.
“Give me five minutes to get them in some clean clothes. Then I can show you how they like their eggs.”
“Sounds like a plan, Jensen.”
Later That Evening
“Y/N?” said Jensen, knocking on the door to your room. You got up from the couch and answered it, Jensen standing there with a smile. “The kids and I were wondering if you’d like your birthday cake for dessert.”
“You actually got me a cake?”
“I did indeed,” he said. You followed him down the hall and back into the living space, Arrow running up to you.
“Y/N! Are you sleeping over?” she asked as she gave you a hug.
“I live just down the hall now, cutie,” you said.
“Daddy, can we have ice cream too?” asked Zeppelin as he climbed up into his chair at the table.
“Sure thing bud. Girls, would you like some too?” he asked. Both the little ones said yes as he looked back at you.
“I really shouldn’t,” you said.
“We eat ice cream in this house,” he said.
“You don’t have to twist my arm over it,” you said. He got out the container and set it down on the table by the cake, lighting the match on the candle on top. “Oh please don’t-”
He started to sing though and the kids joined in, Jensen having a really good voice actually. You blew out the candle when they were through and he dished up some dessert for everyone.
“Y/N, can you read me a bedtime story later?” asked Zeppelin and you glanced at his father, Jensen making a face.
“Well Y/N’s not at work right now so she doesn’t have to unless she wants to,” said Jensen. “We’re already cutting into her-”
“I would love to, Zepp,” you said, his little face lighting up. “Maybe you guys want to join us?”
“JJ’s a little big to get read to at night I’ve been told,” said Jensen.
“Am not,” she said. “I can get a story too, right?”
“Of course,” you said. You took a bite of the cake and hummed. “This is really good.”
“I bought it myself,” said Jensen. 
“Well you have good taste,” you said. “In fact, I’m gonna have another slice.”
“Good,” he said as Zeppelin grabbed the ice cream container. “Alright, alright. You can have a bit more, bud.”
“Night, JJ,” you said, getting a hug from her as you put her back to bed an hour later. JJ smiled from her bed and you flicked off the light, pulling the door shut after you turned on her night light.
“Thanks for giving up your night with them. I didn’t mean to have that happen,” said Jensen as you headed downstairs with him.
“It’s no problem. It’s good bonding for us,” you said. You helped him pick up the plates at the table and wash them off, Jensen grabbing a bottle of whiskey from a tall cabinet as you covered up what was left of the cake. 
“Drink?” he asked.
“A small one,” you said. He poured a single into a whiskey glass and slid it over to you, smirking when you took a sip. “Oh that’s smooth.”
“Very,” he said, drinking from his own glass. “Thank you for tonight. JJ’s been…”
“She’s the oldest. She’s gonna have a harder time with it.”
“You were about her age when your dad died you said?”
“She’ll be okay. She’ll miss her but it won’t be a deep pain. She’ll have nice memories of her mom. She’s doing pretty good, trust me.”
“Can I ask another personal question?”
“I’m off the clock. Shoot,” you said.
“Your mom ever...try again with someone else?”
“Yes. Years later she found a good guy. He actually is who I stayed with after she passed. He’s married now, has some kids of his own but I know if I call him up he’d drop everything for me.”
“Good. I was getting afraid you were a complete Shakespeare tragedy,” he chuckled.
“Nah. I’m not at that level of crazy in my life,” you said. “As long as we’re off the clock, can I ask if you’re asking because you’re thinking of getting back out there?”
“I am. My wife kind of insisted on it. When we first got serious we had this deal that we’d go try again if something happened. I mean, I don’t cry everytime I think about her now. I can smile and be happy and that ache doesn’t try to swallow me up everyday anymore. I think it’s time I could get back out there.”
“I’d say it is. The kids are ready. They’ll understand.”
“You think your mom loved the second guy as much as your dad?”
“For sure. She was a bit of a free spirit but she didn’t think you had to have just one soulmate. She told me that after she’d met Ray. She said she got two so maybe I had two out there. I haven’t found either one of them yet so I’ll take increasing my odds as best I can.”
“Well you’re not gonna meet your soulmate sitting at home on Saturday nights, Y/N.”
“Just a lot of douchey guys,” you said.
“Ah. You need to meet a better kind of guy is all,” he said.
“Yeah see I’m thirty. All the good guys are married by now.”
“Oh all of them are taken. I didn’t realize that,” he said with a chuckle. “What am I then? Another douchebag?”
“You don’t count. You’re…”
“Too old for you?” he chuckled.
“My boss. Plus you’re like famous. You can go get like a victoria secret model or something.”
“Looks ain’t everything.”
“Maybe I ought to try older guys now that you say that,” you said.
“Y/N, you gotta be careful with that. I don’t want to see you get taken advantage of.”
“And this is why I watch netflix on Saturday nights,” you said.
“You serious about the older guy crack?” he asked. 
“I do find them more...attractive sometimes. I guess it depends on how old. Why?”
“I got a friend my age, might be interested?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” you said. “No offense to your friend but...I mean if he’s 42...I want kids and stuff you know? Although a dude it doesn’t really matter how old...I don’t know.”
“It was just a thought,” he said with a smile.
“I’ll think about it,” you said. “He’s not a weirdo, right.”
“No. He’s an actor. Something to think about,” he said.
“I will,” you said. “Thank you for the birthday cake, Jensen. You’re a good person.”
“I bought a cake.”
“Yeah but I haven’t really had one of those in years. You’re a good person.”
“You’re very welcome,” he said as you slid off your seat. “You’re free to hang out if you like.”
“I’m kinda tired. I won’t be getting up that early from now on I don’t think.”
“I completely understand,” he said. “Goodnight, Y/N.”
“Goodnight Jensen.”
________
A/N: Read Part 2 here!
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waitimcomingtoo · 4 years
Text
In Case You Don’t Live Forever
~chapter two rewritten~
Pairing: Peter Parker x Venom!Reader
Synopsis: you are Peters greatest love and Spider-Man’s greatest enemy
Masterlist and Series Masterlist
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Moving and finding an apartment can be an incredibly long and stressful process. Unless you’re you, and life likes to throw a lot of curve balls at you for the utter hell of it.
Your dad dropped dead three weeks after you told Andy you were moving to New York. Coincidentally, right in the middle of you trying to find a place to live. He drank himself to death. Figures. You doubted you’d ever had a conversation with him that he was sober enough to remember. His untimely demise was unfortunate for him, because he died or whatever, but very fortunate for you. As his only child, you got his apartment in Queens and all his smelly hoodies.
You said your goodbyes to Andy and Dani after a night out in the streets of San Francisco. You had originally moved there after high school to start your show, The L/n Report. San Francisco was known for its crimes against the homeless population and you wanted to start with a story on that. You ended up interviewing Andy at the police station while investigating a missing person, and dated him for two years. Now, you were spending your last few hours in San Francisco with the very boy you once loved and the very girl he now did.
“Are you all packed?” Dani asked you, snapping you out of your thoughts.
“Pretty much. I gotta put my toothbrush and hairbrush in my suitcase in the morning. Other than that, I’m good to go.” You answered her. She smiled fondly at you as she linked her arm through yours.
“Hey, I’m really gonna miss you. More than that guy over there.” You whispered, nodding towards Andy, who had his head buried in his phone. Dani laughed and nodded in agreement as you continued to walk.
“I’m going to miss you too. You’re my best friend here.” She sighed sadly.
“I’m glad we’re friends. Most women in our position would hate each other.” You thought out loud.
“Uh uh. You’re thinking of women in films. It’s 2021, baby. Women support women. You and I are two talented, smart, beautiful women who would never be caught fighting over some boy. Especially not one who can’t take his eyes off his phone for two seconds.” Dani said loudly and smacked Andy’s arm. You laughed at the domestic moment but couldn’t help feeling a pain in your heart knowing he used to be that way with you.
“What, sorry?” Andy looked up. You and Dani looked at him before looking at each other and laughing.
“What’s funny?” He asked, growing annoyed.
“We’re laughing at you babe. Put your phone away. It’s Y/N’s last night here.” Dani scolded playfully. Andy sighed and reluctantly put his phone in his pocket.
“Right, sorry. And it’s not her last night here. She’s coming back. You are coming back, right?” He asked you. You nodded, though you weren’t entirely sure.
“Of course I’ll be back.” You shrugged. “I just want to experience something new for a while. I’ve done a million pieces on homelessness and poverty. I want to see what fresh stories New York has to offer.”
“You’re quoting the Daily Bugle, aren’t you?” Dani teased you.
“That is verbatim what they said to me.” You admitted with a laugh. “But hey, it worked. As of tomorrow, I’m the Daily Bugle’s newest investigative reporter.”
“Who are you reporting on anyway?” Andy showed a rare interest in your work.
“Some guy named Cletus Kasady.” You answered. “He’s some hot shot serial killer down in Queens. No one knows how he’s hiding his victims bodies. Apparently none have ever been close to being found.”
“And they want you to write the story on him?” Andy raised an eyebrow, always with the condescending tone.
“Well they heard about the whole Carlton Drake situation and decided I hadn’t been through enough trauma in my career.” You replied, earning a laugh from Dani but not Andy. You and Andy had already broken up by the time Carlton Drake contracted a symbiote and tried to kill you and Venom. You stopped him before he could hurt anyone and wrote a career defining article on his lethal human experiments. You managed to leave out all information regarding symbiotes from the article, so your secret was still safe. You were a fairly well known reporter since the incident and your next job was waiting for you in New York.
In the morning, You and Venom got on a plane and made your way to New York. Being on a plane with Venom turned out to be the equivalent to traveling with a toddler. You tried to sleep, but every two seconds you had to stop Venom from getting into trouble. She kept trying to open the window, even after you explained to her that everyone on the plane would die horrible death if the window were to open.
“Stop that.” You whispered when you noticed a black tendril creeping towards the window. The lady in the seat next to you shot me a look of confusion. You gave her a fake smile and turned back to the window, doing your best to conceal the small black tendril that was coming out of your body and fidgeting with the airplane window.
“We want it open.” Venom replied telepathically.
“Do you also want us to blow out of the plane and into space?” You said through my teeth.
“We didn’t anticipate that but it’d be appreciated.” Venom answered, making you groan. The rest of the plane ride followed in similar fashion.
Seven hours later, you arrived at the apartment building. You had never been to your dads apartment, you didn’t even know he had one. You wondered what happened to your childhood home as you looked around the place. The apartment wasn’t too small but not too big either. The rent was practically nothing compared to how expensive San Francisco was, and The Daily Bugle offered to cover your expenses until the story was done. You figured after some redecorating and moving in, it would make a fine new home.
The first seven days in the apartment went by smoothly. You unpacked, with little to no help from Venom, and set up the furniture. On the eight day, you sat on the couch, aimlessly flipping through channels in the TV when you had a thought.
“Oh shit.” You said out loud.
“What?” Venom, who was curly nestled around your neck like a neck pillow, asked.
“I forgot mail exists.” You frowned. “We better go check the mailbox before it overflows.”
You and Venom grudgingly walked to the mailboxes and back again. No one was around, so she manifested herself and rested on your shoulder as I looked through the mail.
“Oops. I grabbed someone else’s mail too.” You clicked your tongue when you read a strangers name off the envelope. “I gotta find them.”
“Let’s go.” Venom said and pulled you towards the front door.
“Sorry, babe. This is a me thing, not a we thing. You know I love you but I don’t want to scare our neighbors. Not yet anyway.” You reasoned. Venom grumbled and went back inside your body.
You checked the address of the envelope and discovered that it belonged to the apartment directly across from you.
You knocked on the door and patiently waited for someone to open it as you mindlessly cracked your knuckles. Just as you were about to walk away, the door opened.
“Hi, are you May Parker?” You asked right away. You looked up from the envelope and your face instantly flushed. The person staring back at you definitely wasn’t May Parker. It was a boy around your age, maybe a little younger. He had soft brown eyes and wavy brown hair. It was gelled back loosely and you could see the outline of soft curls. To your surprise, he was just as flushed as you were. You stared at each other for a moment, no one wanting to be the first to blink.
“Yea. I’m May Parker.” The boy said finally. He shut his eyes in embarrassment and shook his head.
“I mean, no I’m not. But that’s my Aunt. May is my Aunt but I’m not May. That’s my Aunt May. I’m her nephew…obviously. Aunt May is my Aunt May. I…what?” He stumbled over his words and somehow turned even redder. His blush reached all the way down his neck, to his blue jumper that read “Midtown Tech” in yellow letters. You recognized the name of one of the most prestigious high schools in New York, already impressed with your new neighbor.
“Well hello, not May Parker. I’m also not May Parker. But I seemed to forget that when I grabbed your mail this morning. Sorry about that.” You said sheepishly as you handed his mail to him. The boy rubbed the back of his neck as he looked at it and attempted to redeem himself.
“It’s not problem. She and I always forget to check the mail so you actually helped us, um, whoever you are.” He smiled weakly. His voice was cute. He had that Queens accent that the people of San Francisco lacked, for obvious reasons.
“Oh, right.” You laughed in embarrassment. “I’m Y/N L/N. I just moved here from San Francisco. I live across the hall.”
You pointed to the door behind you as if he didn’t know what “across the hall” meant. You didn’t know what was wrong with you. You were never this awkward.
His eyes lit up a bit once you told him where you lived.
“Really? I thought that smelly guy lived there.” The boy said and you stifled a laugh.
“That smelly guy was my father. He died a little while ago so I live there now.” You told him, malign the boys eyes widen. They were so brown. Like little pools of honey. Or little pools of the Hudson River. You had seen a million pairs of brown eyes before, but none like his. They were quite distracting to be honest.
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry! I had. I had no idea-“ he began to frantically apologize but you cut him off.
“Don’t worry about it. We never got along. And you’re right, that man stank.” You chuckled. It was the first thing you said that felt like your old self. You hadn’t really talked to anyone since moving to New York, with the exception of Venom and the occasional phone call from Andy or Dani. You liked talking to this boy, though you still had no idea who he was.
“Oh thank God. I thought I screwed this up before it even went anywhere.” He immediately turned red when he heard his own words. You saw the regret in his eyes and decided to throw him a bone.
“Well it certainly can’t go anywhere until you tell me your name.” You flirted. Again, he relaxed. You felt a surge of confidence knowing he wanted this to go well.
“Parker. I’m Parker Peter. I mean, Peter Parker.” He fumbled over his words again, making you smile fondly.
“We like him. He’s cute.” Venom said telepathically. You looked down at my shoes and blushed, knowing you liked him too.
“And he looks delicious.” She added, ruining the moment.
“It’s nice to meet you Peter Parker.” You gave him your best smile. “I’m glad there’s someone my age around here. Everyone I’ve met so far is either an old bitty or a creepy uncle type.” You regretted it as soon as it left your mouth. You didn’t know what his sense of humor was like and he might not find you the slightest but funny. Andy always told you you were bad at telling jokes, and you feared he might be right.
Lucky for you, Peter burst out laughing.
“Ah. I’ve seen you’ve met Henry.” Peter pointed a finger down the hall. “Yeah, I’d stay away from him. He asked me if he could have pictures of my feet once. He said he’d “pay me handsomely” for it too.”
“Damn. So he beat me to asking you.” You pretended to be upset, which made Peter laugh again. The sound of his laugh made your heart pick up speed. You weren’t used to feeling like this. Boys rarely impressed you, Andy was just lucky you liked a man in uniform.
“Yeah. You better stay away from him.” Peter advised.
“It might be hard.” You clicked your tongue. “Our mailboxes are pretty close. I’ll make a mental note to never check my mail while wearing flip flops, though.”
Peter smiled at your joke. He had the kind of smile that you would make the person laugh just to see it again. It was brilliant.
“Well my mailbox should be directly above yours. So don’t worry, I’ll protect you.” He grinned, and you grinned back.
“My hero.” You gushed as you put your hands over your heart. The tips of his ears went pink, like he was shocked that you said that.
“I’m no hero.” He sounded almost panicked, like you touched a nerve or something.
“We’re hungry. We need to eat.” Venom interrupted abruptly, causing you to jump. Since Peter couldn’t hear her, he looked at you strangely, not knowing the cause of your sudden jolt.
“Sorry, I uh, I thought I saw a spider.” You lied.
“If there was a spider, we’d eat it. We need food. Now.” Venom demanded.
Peter looked up at his doorframe for the imaginary spider.
“Yeah, New York is full of them.” Peter said skeptically. “Not that full, though. And some spiders are nice. One might even call them friendly.”
“Right.” You laughed at his strange wording, unaware that you were both keeping a secret.
“Would…” Peter began but trailed off, seemingly mulling something over in his head. “Would you like to eat dinner with my Aunt and I? I remember when we first moved in, it took us a while to get into the swing of things and make dinner every night. If you like, you could join us. And, you know, we could get to know each other.” He offered. It all came out in one breath. You could tell he was nervous and that only drew you in more.
“I’d love to Peter.” You said, and he smiled in relief.
“Great.��� He gave an awkward thumbs up. “We usually eat around six so maybe come around then? She’ll be so happy to meet you. She loves cooking and she always tries to get me to learn but I once burnt cereal and I still don’t know how.” Peter began to ramble. He cut himself off and shook his head again. “Sorry. I’m rambling.”
Then, you did something stupid. You put your hand on his arm like the dumb bitch you were. You barely knew this guy. Who the hell were you to touch him? He must’ve been thinking the same thing, since he instantly froze under your touch and stared at your hand on his arm.
“Don’t apologize. I can’t cook either. Unless you count making tater tots as cooking. Then I’m Gordon Ramsey.” You assured him, feeling him relax under your touch.
“You’re just gonna mention tater tots without warning us first? Our mouth is watering. Can we eat Peter?” Venom asked, making your eyes widen.
If it was socially acceptable to scream at your symbiote in public, you would’ve yelled “NO, WE CANNOT EAT PETER” from the top of your lungs. But since you didn’t want to scare Peter and the rest of the neighbors away, you merely smiled and made another mental note to smack the shit out of Venom later.
“I love that man. “Where is the lamb sauce?” Peter mimicked in a bad British accent. He had no right being as charming as he was.
“No no no.” You shook your head. “His best line is “I’ll get you more pumpkin and I’ll ram it right up your ass. Would you like it whole or diced?”. He’s said some pretty wild things but that one makes me cry.”
Peters laugh rang through the halls. To be the cause of that laugh was a feeling like no other. You stood there for a while, just looking at each other. His eyes grazed down your body, but not in a crude way. You berated yourself for not dressing better when going to meet the neighbors, clad in nothing but a grey hoodie and some leggings. Peter looked cute, but you had a feeling he always did. His jumper was pretty baggy and you could see a collared shirt poking out the top. He was dressed almost professionally and you found it incredibly endearing.
You wanted to know more about him. You wanted to know his secrets and his hobbies and what makes him itch. You wanted to see if he dresses this way on weekends too or what his summer clothes looked like. Your gawking was interrupted by Peters phone ringing. He broke out of his trance and answered it quickly.
“Hi, Mr. S. No I’m not busy. I mean, I’m super busy but I can totally make time for you. Yea, Happy talked to me. Okay. Okay. Where? Okay. See you in a bit.” Peter hung up and looked at you apologetically.
“That was my job. I have to run but I’ll be back in time for our dinner. I live at…you know where I live. I’ll see you then. Don’t be late.” Peter called as he ran down the hallway, towards the elevator.
“I won’t. See you later.” You called back.
You went back to your apartment and like a kid, broke out into a happy dance.
“Venom!! Did you see how cute he was?” You gushed. “And how funny he is? I have to get ready for tonight.”
Venom manifested and swirled around my arm.
“Someone has a crush.” Venom smirked. Well, as much of a smirk as she could muster with that huge mouth of hers.
“I don’t have a crush. I just think he’s cute okay?” You replied coyly. “Cute. And funny and sweet and charming and amazing. But that’s it.”
“We can feel your heart beat.” Venom reminded you. “It was going ten miles an hour. What would Andy say?”
You had been rummaging through your closet and stopped in your tracks. With Peters new inhabitance in your mind, you had forgotten all about Andy. You moved to New York to avoid his wedding and his moving on, and you might’ve succeeded.
“I don’t care what he’d say.” You decided. “He’s not my boyfriend.”
“But we want him to be.” Venom insisted. “We want him back, remember?”
“I don’t know what I want.” You answered honestly. “I just want to get ready for tonight.”
“Why are you getting ready now? You have 5 hours until you have to be there and it’s right across the hall.” Venom teased.
“Only 5 hours?” You sighed. “We better get moving.”
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Text
Flying High, Falling Fast
Warnings: non-consent sex and rape; fingering, oral, fucking, subtle creep factor, deceptive charm, the usual fare you know
This is dark!Sam Wilson x reader and explicit. 18+ only.  Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Synopsis: You meet the new Captain America at an event and impress him with your homemade project, but his interest is more than friendly.
Note: We all need some dark!Sam, right? This is a pretty long one shot, just over 7k words but it was super fun to write a character I don’t get to a lot. But I hope you love him as much as me!
Thanks to everyone for sticking around and putting up with me and thanks in advance for all your feedback. :)
I really hope you enjoy. 💋
<3 Let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply or an ask! Love ya!
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You’d never been to a meet and greet before but it seemed like the perfect opportunity to meet up with Reese. The two of you met a year and a half ago on a Discord server for PC builds and eventually waded through the awkward blank cursors to real conversations. Little updates on new additions to your machines, memes about coding, and the occasional gaming session. He became a stalwart in your mostly solitary existence between work and your empty private life.
It wasn’t that you didn’t trust Reese but you felt safer meeting a stranger from the internet in a public setting. Plus, it was his suggestion. His roommate fell through on attending the event with him and you eagerly accepted the unclaimed ticket. Of course, Reese insisted it was his treat but you made him promise to let you pay for lunch.
Even more exciting, you were going to meet the new Captain America. THE CAPTAIN AMERICA. You wanted to squee but had to play it cool as you waited with Reese in the winding queue. 
As exclusive as the meet and greet was, it was stiflingly crowded, even more strenuous as you and Reese tried to adjust your rapport to a face-to-face environment. You mostly ended up chuckling and struggling for some cogent thought.
“What’s in the bag?” Reese asked, finally cracking through the stunted small talk.
“Oh, oh my god, I almost forgot,” you carefully lifted the bag and opened the top to let him peek inside, “I made this last year during lockdown. It’s silly but it was fun.”
He poked his finger around the opening of your drawstring knapsack and his brows rose in surprise. The drone had taken you most of your spare time but you hadn’t yet had a chance to do more than hover it around your bedroom. It was an exact replica, or exact as you could get, of the former Falcon’s Redwing.
“Holy shit! You never mentioned it,” he said.
“Oh, well, I guess… I never thought to. I just spent about an hour or so whenever I could, getting it together. Most of the time was spent on programming,” you closed your bag and let hit hang from your elbow, “and that’s another checkbox on the nerd list.”
“Please, look who you're talking to,” he joked with a snort.
You smiled at him sheepishly and looked ahead of the bodies in front of you as the line shifted forward. He wasn’t exactly disappointing, if anything, he was exactly what you expected. Skinny with black-framed glasses and a bright tee with the Captain’s shield emblazoned across his chest. He wasn’t bad-looking and thankfully not an incel.
“So, uh, you gonna give it to him or something?” Reese asked.
“What-- uh, no, I was hoping he’d sign it actually,” you chewed your lip anxiously, “if I don’t spaz out and just walk away.”
“Right,” he scoffed, “the last time I went to one of these I almost passed out.”
“Oh? Who was it?” you wondered aloud.
“Tony Stark. But I was still in high school,” he explained, “everything else sells out before I get to it. These I got by luck. If David hadn’t swiped them, we’d be standing outside wishing we were in here.”
“I can’t believe he passed on the ticket,” you uttered.
“I’m happy he did,” Reese said, “it made it easier to convince you to meet.”
“Well… we didn’t have to--”
“I’m teasing. Sorry. I’m not very… experienced at this,” he fidgeted.
“It’s fine,” you shrugged as you moved with the line, “I’m just nervous about meeting Captain America, you know? You’re not as intimidating… but I like that.”
“Uh, thanks,” he laughed as you got closer to the table and fidgeted with the straps of your bag. You were almost there.
You stepped up when the people ahead of you cleared away and you couldn’t help but stare at Bucky Barnes’ metal hand as he signed Reese’s special edition Blip magazine. He cleared his throat and you looked the Winter Soldier in the face. 
“Oh, sorry,” you slid the poster you got from the shop on the way in onto the table and he unrolled it and signed. You tried really hard not to focus on his hand, you were so curious as to how it all worked. “Thank you.”
He smiled through tight lips and said, “your welcome” before you sidled down to Sam Wilson as you rolled up your poster.
“Don’t worry about him,” Sam said, “he hates these things. I can’t take him anywhere.”
His laughter received a sharp look from the super soldier. Sam took Reese’s magazine and asked his name. You were too lost in thought to answer when he asked for yours. You coughed and sputtered as you tried to remember and Reese answered for you, adding that you were nervous.
“I, uh, oh,” you lifted your bag, “I was hoping, maybe, you might sign this instead,” you handed the poster to Reese and reached into your knapsack, “if you don’t mind?”
You carefully placed the drone on the table and his brows shot up in surprise. He lifted it just as you let it go and admired it as he leaned back, “you make this?”
“Yeah,” you answered shyly, “doesn’t have all the cool features like yours but it flies.”
“That’s awesome,” he put it back down and uncapped his marker, “where do you want me to sign?”
“Just on the top is fine,” you pointed, “thank you so much.”
“My pleasure,” he put his signature after spelling out your name and he grabbed the drone again, “hey, Buck, look at this? I don’t see any fancy arms that need signing.”
“Shut up,” Bucky grumbled and eyed the drone, “pretty cool, though.”
“Thanks, uh, well, we should get out of the way,” you said.
He handed you the drone and smiled. You began to shuffle away and he called you back to the table, “you code? Do a lot of programming?”
“Mostly just corporate sites,” you answered.
“Here,” he reached into his pocket, “send me a text. I think I know some people who’d like to meet you.”
“What?” you took the card rigidly.
“Sure, we’re always looking for techs,” he said, “and if we can’t find a spot for you, maybe you can see the real Redwing. I’ll make sure of it.”
“Wow, thank you, you… don’t have to do… that,” you stuttered.
“I’d be stupid not to,” he waved off your protests, “you go have fun, you two.”
You backed away and turned to walk away with Reese as you shoved your drone back in your bag with the card, numb with disbelief. 
“Wow, I can’t believe…” you trailed off as you mind wandered.
“Me either,” Reese said oddly, “that’s… wild.”
You looked at him and smiled. He didn’t look mad, only serious. You tightened the neck of the knapsack and slung it over your shoulders.
“So what are we doing for lunch?” you asked.
🌠
In the two weeks since you attended the meet and greet, you and Reese kept up mostly online, many arrangements interrupted by your real life responsibilities. It wasn’t until you offered for him to come with you to the SWORD labs that he had any free time for you. After a stressful text exchange with Captain America, you were too anxious to go alone and he was more than welcoming when you asked to bring a friend.
You stood on the subway as Reese sat and played his Switch. He was jittery as you kept your own nerves hidden just beneath the surface. You found it easier to stay standing as you felt as if you might combust if you sat.
“This is so awesome,” he said as he zipped his Switch up in its case, “thanks for inviting me.”
“I figured I owed you since you got the tickets for the meet and greet,” you said, “and it’s been a while.”
“Sorry about that, work’s been nuts,” he stood as you approached your stop and held onto the pole above your hand, “I kinda skipped out on half a day for this.”
“No,” you frowned, “you didn’t have to--”
“And miss a chance to see the real Redwing? Come on,” he scoffed.
“Oh,” you hung your head, “yeah, I guess that’s worth it.”
“I didn’t mean-- I’m happy to see you too, it’s just kinda a big deal,” he said as you approached the door with the few other passengers readying to hop off.
“No, I get it,” you hooked your thumbs under the straps of your knapsack as the doors slid open and you stepped out onto the platform, “I just… I couldn’t go alone. It’s so… scary.”
“Scary? Jeez, Captain America invited you to a job interview!”
“No, that’s not--”
“Uh, yeah, that’s exactly what it is but I promise, I won’t get in the way,” he said as you head for the concrete stairs, “maybe if he needs an extra coder I might piggy back.”
“Uh huh,” you came up onto the New York sidewalk and came into view of the immense SWORD building, “well, I don’t think it’s all that.”
“So why’d you bring this?” he tapped your bag as you neared the large glass doors and men in suits with coiled wires at their ears squared their shoulders.
“He asked me to,” you said as you were approached by one of the big security guards.
“This isn’t public entry,” he said sternly, “no tours.”
“I have an appointment or… I’m expected,” you pulled out your phone and pulled up the electronic pass Sam sent you, “see?”
“Hmm,” he eyed it and took your phone without asking. Another guard came and scanned it with his phone, “checks out but we’re gonna called down Mr. Wilson and get confirmation.”
“Oh, okay,” you fidgeted as he made no move to return your phone. Reese seemed to shrink as the two men spoke into their headset and nodded at each other.
“Hey,” the glass door burst open as Sam appeared and strode towards you, “hey, sorry, these guys are such buzzkills,” he approached and patted one of the men on the shoulder, “they’re with me.” He assured and waved you after him.
“Um, my phone,” you said to the taller man with the buzzed head. He tilted his head wryly and held out your cell between two fingers. You took it and followed Sam to the doors.
“Anyway, we were just going over some basic maintenance today and I thought you might like to observe. See everything that goes into keeping me and my toys in the air,” he smiled as he held the door and nodded at Reese, “nice to see you again, man.”
“You too, Cap...tain,” Reese answered dumbly.
“Sam is fine,” he chuckled back and tailed the two of you across the lobby as he pointed you towards the elevators. He made Reese look even more like a stick bug. “You bring it?”
“Yeah, it’s in my bag,” you stopped yourself from popping your knuckles out of nervousness, “thank you so much for this. I usually work in cubicles so… uh, yeah… I don’t know what I mean.”
“Hey, don’t be nervous, you built that thing all by yourself? I’m sure you’ll fit right in,” he said.
You got off the elevator and had to hold in a gasp at the shining laboratories as the hi-tech equipment gleamed through the glass walls. Sam led you down the curved staircase onto the lab floors as techs and assistants in both lab coats and starched suits milled around the tables along the edge of the room.
“Hey, Greta,” he called out as he showed you to a metal table, “get a look at this.” A woman with twisted red hair approached as Sam tapped his fingers on the table, “show her,” he urged you.
You swung your bag around and took out the little red and silver drone. You placed it in the middle of the table and the woman, Greta, tilted her head curiously.
“You said you can make this thing fly, right?” Sam asked as Reese watched from the other side of the table.
“Um, yep,” you unlocked your phone and brought up the beta app you designed, “just…”
The drone rose slowly and steadied before you as it hovered over the metal. Greta lifted a dark brow and ran a nail along her chin thoughtfully, “cute.”
“Ah, come on, tell me that isn’t awesome? She did it all by herself,” Sam boasted, “so, what do you think? She’d be a great tech, huh?”
“Tech? I…” you blinked and giggled, that was absurd.
“Does she have a resume? A list of her credentials, at least,” Greta rebuffed.
“Greta,” Sam warned playfully, “I’m her credentials. I’m giving her a reference right now. Hire her.”
“What?” you mumbled under your breath and you saw Reese’s eye cling to Sam darkly, almost enviously.
“You know, if I hadn’t let that kid go for hi-jacking the alpha, I’d tell you to go back to breaking your toys,” she warned, “but I trust you and… I cannot say I’m not impressed,” she narrowed her sights at the floating drone, “how long did this take you?”
“A year or so,” you answered, “it was… just meant to be a hobby but--”
“Well, make it your life,” she said tersely, “Wilson, you deal with HR, Sheila likes you better.”
“Leave it all to me,” he grinned and she walked away.
“Here,” he turned back to you, “I’ll show you the operating system for the real deal.”
He ushered you and Reese over to a computer after you lowered your drone. The real Redwing sat on a module next to the screen and Sam punched the keys and took a hooked earpiece from a small stand, “put this on.”
You slipped the earpiece on as he revealed a bracelet and adjusted it on your wrist, a small ring looping up your index finger. 
“Bend your finger,” he said and you did it, “lift it up, back… like that.” Redwing rose and you watched in amazement, “tilt your head…” the drone aimed in the same direction as your head, “now back,” it flew higher, “just like that. You’re getting it.”
You steered the drone in a circle and Sam helped you maneuver it back down. He let you hand the controls over to Reese who had more fun with it and nearly took out one of the workers. He apologised and Sam just chuckled, though it didn’t sound so amused. 
When Redwing was back in its place, Sam took you all around the room to show you every gadget; his wings, his suit, all his little weapons, and even pulled up some Wakandan schematics of Bucky’s arm. Much of it wasn’t in English however and you could only decipher what was visually laid out. 
He left you there for a moment as he excused himself to chat with a tech about his wings. Reese huffed and leaned against the wall. You were quiet, mostly stunned, though your usual reticence could also be blamed. 
“I don’t think you should’ve brought me,” he said, “I told you it was a job interview.”
“I didn’t know, I thought you would enjoy it,” you felt awful as Reese had given up trying to hide his jealousy.
“Yeah, yeah,” he said, “well, it is pretty cool but…”
He was interrupted as Sam returned, “sorry about that, guys, I kinda messed up one of the engines on the wings on my last mission.”
You smiled and said it was fine. You hadn’t expected so much attention and thought it would be a brief little show and tell, not an entire tour. You returned to the table where you left your drone and shut down the app. You packed up your Redwing, it felt lighter but you were sure you were just imagining things as your head spun. You looked down at the bold signature across the shell and knotted the drawstring above its nose.
“Sorry, I…” you took your bag from the table, “I hate to bother but is there a bathroom I can use.”
“Oh yeah, just head back up the stairs, left of the elevators,” Sam pointed above, “we’ll wait here, there’s one last thing I wanna show you.”
“Okay, I’ll be right back,” you headed for the stairs and latched onto the railing before you could trip upwards.
You bumbled up the stairs and after a brief moment of blankness, you found your way to the bathroom. You quickly slipped into the stall and spent a minute at the mirror after washing your hands to get your head straight. It felt like a dream, or worse, a joke.
You headed back out and Sam was waiting just by the elevators to your surprise. You pursed your lips and glanced around, “where’s Reese?”
“Oh, yeah, uh, he left,” he said as he shoved his hand in his pocket, “said he wasn’t feeling it.”
“Really?” you shrunk, just a little, “erm… that’s too bad.”
“Yeah, kinda weird, I don’t think I’ve ever just ditched a girlfriend in the middle of the city,” he said.
“Girlfriend? Well… it’s… it’s early,” you rubbed the back of your neck, “I hope he’s okay.”
“Damn, I hope he didn’t ruin it, I still wanted to show you the shield,” he intoned, “but if you’re not feeling up to it--”
“No, no, I’m here, that would be awesome,” you forced a smile. 
Had you done something wrong? Was it rude to invite Reese and have all this rubbed in his face? You thought he’d feel worse if you didn’t invite him. Your doubts flurried in your head as you stepped onto the elevator with Sam, chewing your cheek as you tried not to show your disappointment.
You were brought back to the present as the metal doors opened and Sam nudged you as you stared right through the open space. You stepped out ahead of him and he caught up and walked beside you as he explained what was hidden in every room; mostly offices and training gyms.
He unlocked a door at the far curve of the circular hallway and jiggled until it opened. He pushed it open and the lights flicked on automatically.
“Bucky,” he grumbled, “he almost took the handle right off… so now I gotta fight it.”
“Oh,” you entered as he beckoned you inside and you looked around the spacious office.
“You know, there’s lots of paperwork when you take out a whole bridge, even if it is an accident,” he laughed, “and it gives me a place to show this off.”
He went to the wall where the shield was held on small metal hooks and slid it out easily. The vibranium sung in the air as he turned to you and held it out. 
“You wanna?” he asked.
“Sure…” you murmured as he turned it around and held it so you could hook your arm through the straps. He let it go and stood back to look you over.
“It suits you,” he said, “got your own Redwing and you hold that like a real champ. Maybe it’s time I step aside.”
You laughed nervously and shook your head. You peeked down at the metal and lifted and angled around as you admired the smooth curve. 
“Thanks,” you offered it back to him and he took it with one hand, “for everything.”
“You’re taking the job, right?” he prodded, “it’s perfect.”
“Mmm, well, I got a job--”
“Better than here? Better than suiting up the Cap?” he chided.
You bent your ankle under you and swayed on your feet. It was a great opportunity and way better than your desk job. It just felt like you didn’t deserve it.
“I need an answer. Greta doesn’t like indecision,” he said.
“O-okay, okay,” you surrendered, “I… if I said no, I’d feel even worse.”
“You won’t regret it, promise,” he said, “if you do, Redwing is yours. The real one.”
“No, no, I’m…” you rocked as you gripped the straps of your knapsack, “I’m sure I won’t.”
🌠
Your two weeks notice rolled by. Your boss was less than pleased by the sudden departure but you didn’t care much as you wouldn’t have to deal with him for much longer. You wrapped up your last day with your replacement and left feeling free, though the anxiety of your job loomed on the other side of the weekend.
In those weeks since your visit to the SWORD facility, you hadn’t heard much from Reese. That night when you messaged him to make sure he was okay, he didn’t say much more than ‘just tired’. After that, he was always offline when you signed onto the server and all your co-op requests were declined. You were ready to give up. 
Oh well, it was an online thing anyway, you were stupid to think it could work out.
But you were not entirely isolated. To your surprise, you got several messages from Sam, you still couldn’t help but think of him as Captain America and feel like you had nothing interesting to say to a hero. When he found out you liked to game, he even joined you for a session on headset but again, you were hyper focused and quiet. You were flattered that he was trying to make you feel welcome, that he even bothered to get you a job, but it all felt so above you.
When you got home that night, you logged in and sent a request to Reese, just one last attempt. He didn’t even respond, even after fifteen minutes of waiting. You shut down your PC and grabbed your switch instead. You changed as the system updated your Animal Crossing and flopped onto your bed.
You laid across the mattress, one leg over the edge and the other bent. You ran through, planting, fishing, and selling as you tried not to think too much. You’d done enough of that lately. You zoned out as your eyes narrowed at the small screen but in your peripheral, you felt a shadow move. You shrugged it off as the sunlight playing through the curtains and rolled onto your side to ignore it.
You kept on, ready to log out as you didn’t want to spend another Nook Ticket to go to and island and get nothing but flowers. You heard a subtle whirring and glanced over at your computer. It was sleeping and it was never that loud. You noticed that light shift again and turned. There was nothing. Nothing but your dresser and the signed drone, just as you left it.
You squinted and turned off your Switch. You went out to the front room to drop it back in the dock. You stretched and grabbed your phone from your purse to put in an order for some take-out. You stopped as you noticed Sam’s unanswered messages.
‘Whatcha doin’ tonite?’ and several that assumed you must be busy.
‘Sorry, got caught up gaming,’ you replied guiltily. 
Your phone shook before you could close out of the chat and you answered as Sam’s name flashed across the top. 
“Hello?” you squeaked.
“Hey, hope I’m not buggin’ you but I thought-- stop, Jesus Christ, sorry, we’re on our way to dinner and we hoped you might join us.”
“We?” you echoed.
“Oh, ha, yeah me and Bucky, Greta, and some of the techs. Not too many of us but you’re more than welcome,” he said, “since you start on Monday, it will be good to get to know some people.”
“Y-yeah, for sure,” you answered. It felt more an obligation than an invite. You didn’t want to come across snobbish or lazy even if you’d rather eat fried noodles and watch some trash reality TV.
“Great! I’ll send you the address,” he growled and hissed under his breath, “sorry, again, I’m just dealing with this-- I’ll see you there. Save ya a seat.”
He hung up abruptly and you stood dumbfounded staring at your jacket. You dropped your phone back into your purse and headed back to your room. You had to find something to wear that didn’t seem like you were trying too hard or not trying enough.
As you entered, that same whirring floated through the air and suddenly stopped. You looked around confused; not a fly, not your PC acting up, nothing. You grimaced at the poster with the star emblem across it and went to your dresser to pick out an outfit. It was probably the neighbour fucking around. Apartment living was rarely peaceful.
🌠
The restaurant was bustling as you were met by the hostess at the door. You told her you were there to join the party from SWORD. She showed you to the table and Sam saw you above the din and waved to you then shoved Bucky over on the cushioned bench. 
“Right here,” he pointed as he waved you over and stepped aside to let you past. You sidled along and sat, apologizing to Bucky as he rolled his eyes, “not too late.”
You gave your drink order as a waiter came by and shrugged out of your jacket, letting it bunch up around your back. Sam offered his menu and introduced the people you didn’t know at the table; alongside Bucky and Greta, were Xan and Wyatt. You said hello and opted for the fiesta salad as you set aside the menu.
“Are you excited?” Sam asked.
“For what?” Bucky huffed, “she’s gotta put up with you.”
“Hey,” Sam took the lemon off the rim of his glass and tossed it at Bucky, “he lightens up… sometimes.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Bucky grumbled but you could hear the humour in his voice. 
You sank into the background as the night went on. You spoke up when you were called on but felt it hard to assert yourself, especially with someone as outspoken as Sam beside you. Still, he made sure to make you feel included when you started to feel forgotten. For that you were grateful and he was right, it made you feel a little less anxious about your first day.
As you came out onto the sidewalk, your wallet painfully lighter, you bid goodbye to everyone but Sam hung around. You clutched your purse and peered down the street.
“Thanks for inviting me,” you said.
“Ah, you know what, I shoulda asked that guy, Reese? How’s it going with him? He your boyfriend yet?”
“Ha, no,” you sucked in your lip and took a deep breath, “I don’t even think we’re friends anymore.”
“Oh no, what happened?” he asked.
“I dunno,” you said wistfully, “but it is what it is.”
“He’s missin’ out. You’re a cool girl,” he said, “building drones for fun. Kinda why I had to snag you, you know? Someone with your skills, that’s dangerous.”
“Dangerous?” you chortled, “no.”
“Well,” he checked his phone, “how are you getting home?”
“I’ll just take the train,” you said, “my place is only about a ten minute ride from here.”
“You sure? I can give you a ride,” he said.
“Nah, really, you’ve done… more than enough.”
“Alright, well, see you Monday?”
“Monday?” you wondered.
“I’ll pop in before I head out,” he said, “got a mission so I might not be around more than that.”
“Okay, Monday,” you confirmed, “see ya.”
🌠
Monday was a whirlwind. It started on a high as Sam suited up and showed off his wings before he headed up to the jet pad. Greta muttered that she was happy he’d be out of your way before she went through the task of getting you acquainted not only with the tech but with their workplace rituals. It was a lot to take in but you did your best to absorb every word and second.
When you got home, you had a folder full of notes and spent too long going over them before you remembered the groan in your stomach. You ate a lazy super of Kraft Dinner and lazed across your bed doing nothing but watching Youtube tutorials on your tablet. You fell asleep early and woke to your alarm and a dead tablet.
You got up, got dressed, ran out, and did it all again. The first week dragged by and yet it felt like you didn’t have enough time. On Friday, you got home and fell across the couch in your work clothes. You held your phone above you and scrolled dozily through your feed.
A dot popped up and you flicked over to your notifications. The selfie you posted on your first day at the lab with Sam in his suit had lots of hearts but your first comment was less than pleasant. Beside Reese’s icon was all caps: MUST BE EASY SLEEPING YOUR WAY INTO A JOB!
Your heart pattered and you sat up. You deleted the comment but another soon appeared; several as you kept deleting and finally blocked him. ‘Slut, whore, dumb bitch…’ it was the last thing you expected from him.
You opened Discord and clicked on his chat. ‘What’s going on? Why are you doing this?’
The text flicked across the bottom that Reese was typing but he stopped and you sat there for what felt like forever before his response popped up.
‘I can’t believe you brought me all the way there to rub my face in all that shit. And for what? You should’ve just told me I had no chance and I woulda left you alone. If you wanna fuck Sam Wilson, do it, but don’t chain me along like your little bitch boy. Get fucked slut.’
You flinched as you read it and re-read it. You typed shakily as your eyes watered. ‘I’m not fucking Sam and I wouldn’t. I brought you there because I wanted to and thought you would like it. I didn’t know you felt so strongly about it. But I see what you think of me so I only wish you the best and hope you find peace.’
You sent the message but just as quickly, you were blocked from sending any more. You tossed your phone and fell back against the couch. That must have been why he took off but you couldn’t figure out how he thought you of all people were sleeping with Sam Wilson. Really? He was just another incel after all.
You phone jangled with your annoying ringtone and you grabbed it, expecting to be insulted by Reese again but it was Sam calling. You really weren’t in the mood to talk with him. You just wanted to be left alone. But you couldn’t just ignore Captain America.
“Hello?” you answered.
“Hey, I just got back in town. Whatcha doing?” you could hear the wind in the speaker.
“Just got home. I’m exhausted. Probably gonna just nap.”
“You okay?” he asked after a moment.
“Fine,” you said dully.
“Don’t sound fine,” he said, “what’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” you insisted.
“Oh, so it’s not what that boy said on your photo?”
“You saw that?”
“You tagged me, remember?”
“Oh, yeah, no, it’s…”
“Shit, don’t listen to him. He’s just a boy, he blew his chance and he’s bitter about it,” he said, “how about I come over, make sure you’re really okay?”
“No, I don’t think--”
“Ah, come on, don’t make me worry all night about you,” he chided.
“Sam, you really--” There was a knock at the window and you froze. “Sam?”
The line clicked and you heard the tapping again. You lowered your phone and went to the window. Outside, geared up in his wings and suit, Sam hovered before the glass. You blinked and he rapped again. You snapped out of your shock and unlocked the window and slid it up.
“What are you doing?” you asked, “wait? How do you know where I live?”
He grabbed onto the frame and hooked his leg through as he retracted his wings. He bent under and sat half-in and half-out of the window, “forgive me? I did a bit of snooping in HR.”
“I told you not to come. I really don’t feel up to-- It’s really weird that you’re here,” you sat as he ducked pulled his other leg through and stood, “Sam, I think you should go.”
“You shouldn’t be alone, especially after that moron sending you that shit,” he said coolly as he took off his tinted goggles.
“Well, I want to be alone, so you should--”
“I mean, I haven’t even fucked you yet and he’s jealous,” he snickered, “so I guess we should give him a real reason.”
“What are you talking about? That’s… gross. You should go--”
“Come on, girl, you think this was really about a drone,” he tossed his goggles down and set his shield on the chair as he strode around the room, “convenience. I want you close.”
“I don’t--” you looked down at your phone, “get out, Sam.”
The tone of your finger pressing ‘9’ sounded and he spun quickly to face you. He stormed over to you before you could hit ‘1’ and ripped it from your grasp. 
“You’re gonna call the cops and say what? I’m Captain America,” he snarled, “but you can just call me Cap.”
He winked and threw your phone out the window smoothly. You gasped as he chuckled and lifted his wings off his back. He leaned them against the wall and stretched out his shoulders. He looked around as he twisted his tongue between his teeth.
“I like this, looks cozy,” he toed the side of the couch with his boot, “look better with you on it.”
You watched him stroll around the coffee table as he unzipped the collar of his suit. The scene was like some tainted nightmare. Maybe you’d fallen asleep. You were so tired you must have just passed out but you weren’t waking up.
You spun around and ran into the small hallway that led to your door. You were caught from behind, pulled back by the nape of your blazer as Sam tutted. His arm went around your waist and he lifted you off your feet. He turned and carried you back into the front room. You kicked and writhed as his strength enwrapped you.
“Please, please,” you begged, “I… I don’t understand. This isn’t-- this isn’t what I wanted. I didn’t--”
“Baby girl,” he cooed as he brought you close to the couch, “be good and listen to your Captain. Now stop this.”
“No, no,” you gulped at air as the panic rose in you, “I never-- please, you don’t have to do this--”
“You gotta do what I say,” he snapped and flung you onto the couch, “I don’t want to make you.”
You looked at him as you trembled in fear and disbelief. This couldn’t be. He was Sam Wilson, the Captain America; he was a nice guy.
“You have one minute to get naked,” he said and you just gaped at him, “you gonna make me repeat myself?”
Your throat tightened as his dark eyes bore into you. His hand balled to a fist and finally you found an ounce of strength. You pushed your legs over the edge of the couch and slipped out of your blazer. You stood carefully and watched him cautiously. You had to look away as your hands quivered over the buttons of your blouse.
You turned and folded your shirt over your blazer. You could hear him behind you as you unbuttoned your pants and pushed them down your legs. The question of what you were doing flitted through your head but the fear pulsed through you and took over.
“Ah,” he sighed and you peeked back as he freed himself of the top half of his stealth suit.
You turned back and hesitated. You knew there was more, you knew what he wanted, but your body locked up as your fingers curled and your insides knotted.
“Let me get that,” he came close and his fingers tickled along your shoulder blades and he unhooked your bra, “hmmm,” he let go and the cups fell off your chest, “almost there, baby.”
He stepped back and you shuddered. You dropped your bra and hooked your fingers under your panties. You wiggled them down a little at the time and heard the intake of breath as you pulled them down entirely. You stood still, unable to move, too mortified to face him.
“Come on, baby,” he said, “get comfortable.”
You inhaled and turned slowly. You went to the couch as he shed his undershirt and added it to the pile atop his shield. He looked at you and tilted his head as he licked his bottom lip. He snarled as he took in the sight of you and pointed you to the couch.
You sat and hugged yourself as he stripped off his pants along with his boxers in a single swipe. You flicked your eyes away as you glimpsed his hard dick as he stood straight and you stared at the open window. You smushed your lips together in horror and held in the tide of tears.
He came closer and you tried to tune out the room. This couldn’t happen. It just couldn’t. You felt his hands on your knees and he urged your legs apart. You resisted for a moment then let him guide your limbs. It would be over sooner if you just let it happen.
He knelt on the floor as his hands kneaded along your thighs and framed your vee as he leaned over your lap. You winced and he kept your legs from closing as he pushed his body between them. His thumb grazed your folds and he pushed between them. You let out a hushed gasp as he swirled around your clit.
“See, it’s not so bad to be good, is it, baby?” he purred, “you’re wet already.”
He slid his thumb up and down and spread the wetness along your cunt. You were shocked and humiliated by your obvious arousal. You shouldn’t be turned on by this. Your body was not listening to your mind, it was obeying his touch.
“Mmm,” he hummed as he turned his hand and poked along your entrance with one finger. 
He pushed inside and you clenched around his intrusion. He pulled in and out and added another finger. Your nails clawed at the cushion and you pressed back into the couch. He kept his thumb on your clit as he worked his fingers inside of you and the tension clustered between his fingertips.
“Oh, baby, listen to you,” he bet forward and replaced his thumb with his tongue as he kept fingering you.
You turned your face up to the ceiling and squeezed your eyes shut. You bit your lip as the ripples radiated from your core and your breath hitched. His hand moved faster as he suckled at your bud and his free hand groped your chest blindly. You slapped your hand over your mouth as you came, your back arching as you pushed into him.
He teased you through your climax and pulled away only as you quaked and whined at his unyielding touch. He drew his fingers out of you and sat back to lick them clean. You peeked down at him and quickly away as his eyes blazed back at you.
“Up,” he stood and stroked himself shamelessly as he strode around the coffee table, “put your hands on there.”
You rose unsteadily, legs shaking beneath you as your entire being felt like jelly. You went to him and turned your back to him. You bent over and he grabbed your ass and squeezed with a growl. You gripped the table and hung your head as the cool air grazed your cunt.
He shoved his hand between your legs and rubbed you again. He stepped closer and bent his knees as he lined himself up with your entrance, sliding in between his fingers as he spread you wide. You choked as his tip poked inside and he eased himself inch by inch into you. He held your hip as he reached his limit and groaned.
“Baby, oh god damn,” he thrust so that your whole body jerked. It was painfully delightful. Of the few men you’d been with, he was the biggest, or at least the thickest.
He rocked slowly and a moan escaped your lips. Despite the torturous pressure of his intrusion, you could ignore the pleasure laced in the pain. His hand brushed up your as and along your back. He bent over you as his fingers curled over your shoulder and he pressed his body to yours as he fucked you.
You kept your head down as you tried to measure your breaths and the pathetic noises rising from you. He pushed his hand down your stomach and between your legs again to play with your clit. He moved his legs against yours and forced them together so your cunt hugged him even tighter. He grunted and you whimpered as his fingers added to the new pressure.
He sped up so that the table scraped against the floor but kept you up with one arm around you. He rutted into you wildly as his sultry voice filled your chest and his heat consumed you. You cried out as another orgasm swept through you and your cunt quivered around him desperately.
He pulled you up suddenly so you stood on your toes. He tilted into you as he brought his arms up around yours and tined his fingers behind your head. His flesh slapped yours loudly and you opened your eyes as you heard a familiar whirring. The drone flew before you, the signature on its shell, but a light blinking at its nose. Yours didn’t have a light.
“What--”
“Ah, yeah,” he rasped through rampant breaths, “looks like they got mixed up.”
“Huh--” you sucked in your breath as he thrust harder and deeper.
“I didn’t mind, he helped me keep an eye on you,” he said as he nuzzled you above his hands, “you look so cute in your little tee shirts.”
You groaned and leaned your head against him as another rush of fear was met with unwanted bliss. You murmured senselessly as he picked up his pace and the drone came closer. He purred as you felt his muscles tighten.
“Don’t worry,” he puffed, “I’ll make sure the boy knows he was right.”
He buried himself in you, nearly taking you off your feet, and twitched as he emptied himself into you. He rocked his hips subtly as he rode out his climax and stilled you as his voice gristled to rampant pants. His arms fell to embrace you and he kept you flush to him as he lingered inside.
“Or I can keep that little video to myself…” he brought his hand up to cradle your chin and poked his finger along your lower lip, “it’s all up to you, baby.”
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britishassistant · 3 years
Note
There’s one thing I’m not sure of:
Is Yuu aware of the double-identity villains civilian identity? Like do they see them on the street being their “normal” selves and have normal conversations and all the time Yuu is thinking “sir, you better not jump on me now, I want to get my McDonalds before I get kidnapped again-“
Or seeing them give an evil look to something while they’re drinking smoothies or smth and Yuu being like “oh no, I KNOW that look. That’s the ‘I’m gonna destroy this thing later’ look. Better get my fedora ready, just in case...”
Thank you for the ask, dear anon!
And no, Yuu doesn’t know the secret identities of the double-life supervillains! Riddle, Jamil and Vil are extremely careful about what kind of personal information about themselves they allow to leak out, as their current standing in society could be catastrophically ruined if their nefarious deeds leak out.
This of course leads to some very odd interactions for the reporter.
Yuu is doing an exclusive with quiet, mild-mannered Riddle Rosehearts about his pharmaceutical company’s newest test drug, but they keep catching him staring at them when he thinks they aren’t looking, hands flexing at his sides.
His voice also occasionally raises in pitch when he talks in a way that seems oddly familiar...
Vil Schoenheit, the famous actor and model, also seems to like staring at Yuu during interviews with him. He requests them a lot to talk about his most recent projects despite the fact that Yuu cannot recall doing anything to leave an impression on him.
Other than that, Vil’s surprisingly affable for someone famed as an ice king amongst other journalists, perfectly gracious despite the fact that something always seems to go wrong with Yuuken’s camera or equipment during these tête à têtes...
Jamil has to be especially vigilant, because Kalim’s status as the Asim heir means that he’s frequently interviewed for his position on this distant relative’s recent marriage, or that business policy recently announced by his father. And Yuu is occasionally one of the reporters sent for the job.
If Kalim gets exposed, it won’t be long until Jamil’s cover will be blown as well.
The first time they showed up, Jamil had to fake an urgent wardrobe emergency to drag Kalim out of the room and instruct him not to tackle-hug Yuu like he’d just tried to do, because that would tip the reporter off to the fact that he somehow knew them already when this is supposed to be their first meeting.
He personally doesn’t get the opportunity to interact with Yuu on the same level as Kalim, Riddle, or Vil. Though they have shared some quiet chats while waiting for interview setup to finish, joking about the pageantry of the whole thing and comparing the stresses of their respective jobs.
Jamil enjoys those very much, not that he’d ever tell.
However, Yuu does run into the single-identity supervillains and their minions a lot when going about their daily life in the city.
The reporter’s standing in line for takeout, only to hear “Shriiiimpy~~” and hang their head as the Leech twins pop up on either side of them, mentally begging that they’ll at least be able to eat some fries before they get kidnapped again, they skipped breakfast and lunch today already, they’re hungry.
Or Yuu will enter their laundrette to find all the other patrons frozen in comical positions while Idia is frantically trying to pull his clothes out of the dryer as fast as possible before anyone else comes. They turn around and leave to go to the other laundrette a block down, tossing a “remember to unfreeze them before leaving” over their shoulder.
Or they’ll spot Leona across the street, glaring at the new statue of his brother the city’s erected in the park, and think “King, I was having a nice day until you came along, do not spoil it by destroying the statue, please, do NOT—”
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nicekillchanceballs · 3 years
Text
I Might ◑
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Pairing: timeskip!Akaashi Keiji x gn!reader Genre: Hurt/comfort, a little bit of romance and fluff? Synopsis: You just wanted your coffee. Instead, you got a stranger together with your drink. Word Count: ~3.7k A/N: I never thought this would be so long please don’t get bored. I also apologize for any grammatical errors, I am so rusty, lol. This is my first work in my Love Me ◑ series. Thank you!! -- sloth 🦥 Listen to I Might ◑ here.
It’s hard to vanish without a trace And whose idea was this in the first place? I might, I might, I might Fake my death tonight So we can start a whole new life
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You always have been a regular of this coffee shop you're in right now. Ever since you were a university student, up until now that you're a writer for a lifestyle magazine, you always make sure to visit this café at least every 3 months to unwind and relax -- even if it meant that you will have to starve yourself for days so that you can have the money to treat yourself at this hidden gem of a place.
You ordered your usual. Upon receiving your drink and pastry, you took a seat and table on the balcony outside overlooking the lake below. You are the only person here because the other customers are inside the shop utilizing the fireplace and heater. It is kind of chilly, luckily, you sport a thick cardigan on. You took a deep breath and the scent of coffee, cinnamon, and pine trees helped in calming your nerves down.
As you took a sip of your caramel macchiato, you are mentally listing the reasons why this place became your go-to spot. First, it is located in a place up in the mountains, so it is very cold and only a few people are braving to go here. Second, the coffee and pastries this place offers deliciously hits your coffee-loving sweet tooth. For you, no amount of Starbucks or Tim Hortons can compete with this café. Lastly, and the most important, this place witnessed and cured you of your misfortunes and depression. Every time something bad happens, being the introvert that you are, you tend to go off the grid to escape and do your "soul searching", and this place helped you with that.
You brought out your journal and pen, scribbling random thoughts that fill your overactive brain. Your friend, who is a psychologist, advised you that whenever you feel overwhelmed, you can write the feelings or things that seem to engulf you. “It somehow will help you in releasing your frustrations instead of bottling it up,'' she said.
You looked up and admired the view this place has to offer. The sky is painted pastel orange with hues of blue and purple. You noticed that fog is already forming below, hugging the pine trees around the lake. The lagoon is calm as ever, reflecting the already setting sun. You smiled as you basked in peace and contentment.
However, your tranquility was kind of disturbed when the balcony glass doors opened and a tall man with short, black, tousled hair occupied a seat two tables away from you. He looked like he stepped out of a men's fashion magazine -- he was wearing black-rimmed eyeglasses, a beige turtleneck, black jeans, a long brown coat, and a satchel sling bag. He then settled his tray with his own coffee and pastry on his table. You immediately turned your head away, afraid that this beautiful man may have caught you staring. You felt heat from your cheeks forming as you carried on scrawling in your journal. He's so beautiful, you thought.
However, as you continued to write, you remembered the face of your boss making your blood slightly boil. Well, the reason you are here is because of the stress in your workplace -- asshole superiors, some good-for-nothing co-workers, shitty salary, unreasonable work hours, and your list goes on. Once I gained my needed years of experience, I will immediately resign, I swear on the grave of that ungrateful boss bastard. This anger made you forget about the pretty man meters away from you.
Little did you know that he is also staring at you. He noticed your furrowed eyebrows and the intensity of you jotting away at your notebook. He also noticed your reddened cheeks and the breath vapor that formed as you huffed in exasperation. He was not the one to be observant towards strangers (it is only his friends that he is concerned about), but you have this certain aura that entices him. He smiled as he gulped his black coffee, pulled out his laptop from his bag, opened it, and checked some emails.
You estimated that ten minutes have already passed and you are still writing, anger somehow dissipating when suddenly you heard a loud "Hey, hey, hey, can we talk to the manager?” inside the coffee shop. You sighed because now, your peace is totally disrupted. You whipped your head to look at the commotion inside and you saw a tall man with spiky gray hair and black streaks wearing a black hoodie and jeans. That loud guy was accompanied by another taller man with messy, spiky black hair wearing a white t-shirt tucked in his slacks. The store manager then approached them. What’s with very tall, beautiful people today wanting coffee? You thought.
Shrugging, you looked again at your notebook. Without thinking, you stole a glance towards the direction of the man seated meters away from you. You saw that he was pale and his eyes were wide, frozen in shock. His gaze fell upon you, realizing that you were looking at him. He immediately scrambled from his seat and briskly walked towards you. You instinctively panicked. What is happening?!
He stopped beside your seat and he instantly crouched down, as if hiding from something. You looked down at him, your eyes also a notch bigger than normal from shock. He then softly whispered, “Under no circumstances you will tell anyone, especially them --” he motioned towards the two men inside the shop -- “that I am here. Please.” His emerald eyes are practically begging you. Hypnotized by him, you just nodded. “I’ll just hide in the comfort room, just knock four times when they are gone.” He said and then clambered away from you, making his way towards the bathroom.
You took a deep breath and sighed loudly. You are very confused as to why the man was hiding. Is he a serial killer? Are the two tall men inside detectives or something? Or are they kidnappers? Hitmen? Is the pretty boy gonna be abducted? Your mind was in overdrive. You thought of just packing up and leaving the establishment, but you sympathize with the man you just spoke with. You don’t know why, but you can relate to him.
Your musings are interrupted as the lights in the balcony lit up. Oh, the sun has already set. You glanced at your wristwatch and it was already 6:30 PM. You heard the balcony doors open and the tall, black-haired man entered, with the gray-and-black haired man following suit. Oh, shit, they are here to question me.
“Hi.” The man with black hair smiled at you. “I am Kuroo, and the noisy one there is Bokuto.”
Bokuto is smiling widely, walking towards you but is distracted by the view of the city skyline. He ran and stood beside the balcony railings. “Man, it is beautiful and cold here in Miyagi!”
Kuroo scratched his head, “I apologize for my loud friend, but have you seen a man this tall ---” he gestured his hand just near his temples, demonstrating the height of the man you spoke with earlier -- “he has green eyes and black-rimmed eyeglasses.”
“Yes, yes, he looks preppy,” Bokuto said as he finally walked towards your seat.
You cleared your throat. You have this habit of clearing your throat when you are nervous. “No, I haven’t seen anyone with that description.” You lied as you nervously sip your now cold coffee.
“Oh really?” Bokuto pouted, deep in thought. He then looked at Kuroo, pointing at the other table. “That looks like his laptop and bag.”
You almost choked on your drink as you realized that the man left his things at his table. Shit. Your mind quickly formulated a shitty lie. “Uhm, it is a girl -- an employee that is seated there, not a man.”
“Employee?” They said in unison.
“Yes. An employee of this coffee shop. That’s her laptop. They are doing interviews earlier. Job openings…” You trailed off.
The two men just nodded. Bokuto sighed loudly. “Where did Akaashi run off to? I am getting worried. He’s gone for a week already! His ex-girlfriend is so mean!”
“Hey now, he is a grown-ass man okay? I know he knows what he is doing. Let’s just resume the search tomorrow, shall we?” Kuroo patted his friend’s back.
Bokuto looked at you with his somber, amber, owl-like eyes and said, “Thank you for your help. We are very sorry for disturbing you.”
“So we’ll leave you alone now, thank you again.” Kuroo nodded at you and the pair started walking out of the balcony. You awkwardly smiled at their backs.
When Kuroo closed the balcony glass doors, you noticed his cat-like eyes lingered on you for a moment, glimpsed at Akaashi’s table, and at you again. Maybe it is just the lighting inside the coffee shop, or it is only your imagination, but you saw a small, sly smile forming on his lips. He finally turned his back and walked away.
What the heck was that? Did he know that I’m lying?! I am really a shitty liar. You ran your fingers through your hair. You then stood up and glanced around, ensuring that the two men were really gone. You immediately went to the bathroom and knocked four times. There was no response but you can hear shuffling inside. You immediately went back to your seat on the balcony.
Minutes later, Akaashi emerged from the door, went to his table, and started to gather his things. Oh, he’s leaving already, what did I expect? You thought as you softly face-palmed yourself.
“Can I sit here?”
You removed your palm from your face and looked up at Akaashi. You felt your eyes widen again. “You... You were not leaving?”
“No, not yet.”
You just nodded and removed your bag from the seat across you. He then took the said seat.
"So.." He looked sideways, afraid to meet your eyes because of embarrassment. "I think I owe you an explanation."
You just nodded again, still dumbstruck by his charm.
“To start, I am Akaashi Keiji, well… You can call me Keiji.” He took a sip of his coffee. “And contrary to what Bokuto said earlier --”
“You heard them earlier?” You finally spoke, interrupting him. Oh god, he must have heard my pathetic lies earlier.
“Uhh, yes. Those two are so loud, they sound like they swallowed microphones or something.”
You chuckled at his snarky comment. “Yeah, they really are loud.”
“Anyway… Thank you so much for what you did earlier. I am truly sorry for dragging you into this.” He scratched his head. “Good thing they fell for your alibi.”
“Yeah, Bokuto fell for it. He must really miss you.” You broke a small piece from your chocolate chip cookie and munched on it. “But for Kuroo… I don't know. I think he knows.”
“Oh, Kuroo? He really is a pain in the ass.” Akaashi rolled his eyes and sighed. “So to continue, contrary to what Bokuto said earlier, it is not because my ex-girlfriend dumped me. It's been three months ago already. I kind of expected it because I caught her cheating so many times I cannot count it with my two hands.” He said nonchalantly while holding up both of his hands.
How can he be so cool about being dumped?! You thought, then you noticed that although calloused, he has very nice hands. Blue veins were prominent in his palms, running up toward his long, slender fingers. You want to punch yourself for noticing that at this time. Hey, stupid self, this is not the time for simping on a stranger!
He continued, “I disconnected from everyone because everything is overwhelming me. My job, my boss, bills, rent… Adulting is very hard, you know?” He droned on as he fiddled the cup sleeve of his coffee. "Also, I have always wanted to be a literary editor, but instead, they assigned me as an editor in a manga magazine."
You wanted to ask how he went off the grid because you’re interested in doing that too, but he continued on ranting.
“I am usually a calm and collected person.” Akaashi gulped again on his coffee. “I usually handle problems like a breeze, not even my friends can recognize that I have problems because I immediately find ways and solve them with ease. But now, I think I reached my tipping point, and it’s very hard to keep up with this front anymore. I am just tired, then I find myself driving away from Tokyo, and here I am.” He stared into your eyes, expecting for you to say something. Akaashi surprised himself that he bared his vulnerabilities upon a stranger.
Well, you are also astonished just the same. You realized it is getting serious.
“So.. how long have you been into hiding?”
He counted in his mind. “Today is the sixth day.”
You cleared your throat again. "Since you're very honest with me, can I be very honest with you too?"
He looked at you and nodded. "Yes please. I need it."
"Promise that you won't be mad or something?"
"I promise."
"Okay, let's start." You cleared your throat again because you're nervous. "First, it's okay to admit that you're hurt because your ex-girlfriend broke your heart."
"I am not hurt--" He muttered in protest.
"Ah ah ah." You interrupted him. "Your nonchalance about it did not match the way you narrated it. Too many words for someone who did not care."
Akaashi's eyes widened, as if slapped by the truth. He ran his fingers through his hair. "Okay, okay, I think you're right." He exhaled loudly. "I gave her so many chances…" He trailed off.
"Want to talk about it?"
"Maybe later." He looked at you and in all seriousness said, "I am Akaashi Keiji and I admit I am hurt. My heart has been broken. Luckily, very recently, I think I am healing."
You smiled at him. Her ex-girlfriend must be stupid to dump a guy this pure and well.. good looking. “Okay, good, good!" You exclaimed as you took another bite of your cookie. "Well, I don't know if this helps, but I just learned that love is like trial-and-error. Some people get it right the first time, but most of the time, you will try, and try, and try, until you get it right…" Your voice trailed away.
Akaashi looked at his untouched croissant. "Yes, I think that helped." He flashed a faint smile and looked up again. "I'm ready for your next one."
"Okay. Here it goes. Yes, I very much agree that adulting is very hard."
"Right? They did not teach this in high school, nor in university." He poked his pastry.
"I cannot give insights on adulting because I'm going through it too, you know? I am just as lost as you." You removed the cup sleeve of your coffee and toyed with it. "But I can assure you, you and me, we are not the only ones lost. We just have to deal with asshole people, I guess?"
"Yeah. Fuck asshole people." He grinned.
You chuckled. You don't know why a sudden warmth spreads through your chest. Maybe it's because you made him smile? Or the fact that you, a stranger, comfort him? Or the relief that you are not alone dealing with the pressure of adulting? Or maybe all of the above?
"Ready for the third one?"
"Yeah."
"I am pretty much aware that I'm in no position to tell you this, but damn, editor already at such a young age?"
"It's not my dream job, though." He retorted.
"But you're still young." You smiled softly, even though you envy him. In the magazine company where you're working, you're only a writer, nothing more, nothing less. "You must be pretty awesome to be an editor already. You still have plenty of time to reach your dream job. No need to rush, it is not a race." Even though you're jealous of him, you can't help but be in awe of him. Good looking plus smart? Damn. I need to stop simping.
"Yeah." He rested his chin on his hands. "Once again, I guess you're right. What am I in a rush for?" He nodded. "Even though I just met you minutes ago, why are you easy to talk to? Why are you so good at this?" He looked at you with his bright, green eyes.
"Believe me, I don't know. I am usually silent but here I am, babbling things to a stranger.” You shrugged, chuckling. “I am only realizing these things now because of you. Earlier, I was down in the dumps too."
"I am going to ask you later why you are in the dumps, but in the meantime, I am ready for the next one."
You purse your lips. "Okay, Keiji, you must rejoice because this is the last one."
"Okay. I'll brace myself."
"Here it goes.” You held his gaze. “I think you're too hard on yourself. You need to loosen up."
He just blinked at you.
You folded your coffee cup sleeve and slowly tore it as you spoke. "Also, expressing emotions is not a sign of weakness. I think you are tiring yourself out because you keep a front that you are strong, that you have no problems.” You noticed that he winced. “Because of that, you get drained. You must remember that you are just as vulnerable as everyone."
He took a gulp of his now cold coffee.
You continue to tear your cup sleeve. “You don’t need to change how you act after this. You can still be withdrawn with your emotions towards others, I mean, it’s not easy to change yourself after one night, right? But the only thing important here is you need to be honest with your feelings. You should not apologize for how you feel. Also, it is never wrong to ask for help from others. If you’re hurt, acknowledge it. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, acknowledge it. If you’re tired, acknowledge it.”
You exhaled, looked up at him, and saw his eyes were watery.
Shit, is he about to cry? “H-hey, I am sorry --”
His tears finally fell. “Oh.” He touched his cheeks wet from the tears and flinched. “It’s weird. It does not stop.” He pointed at his eyes with a slight panic in his voice.
You felt your eyes water too as you grabbed your packet of tissues inside your bag. “Here, you can wipe them if you want.”
“Thank you.” He removed his eyeglasses and wiped his cheeks. “I cannot stop it.” His tears are still streaming like a waterfall.
“Good lord, when was the last time you cried?” You asked, concerned.
“I-- I can’t remember. It’s a long time ago, I guess.” He sniffed, wiped his tears again, then weakly chuckled. “I am sorry for crying --”
“Ah ah ah.” You interrupted again. “Repeat after me. You should never ---”
He cut you off, “Never apologize for how I feel. Also, be honest with my feelings. Ask help from others.”
You smiled. “Great.” It then took about a good five minutes until his silent crying stopped.
He cleared his throat. “Hey. Thank you. Crying feels good.”
“It is not in my intention to make you cry, but you’re welcome, I guess?”
He chuckled. “Uhm, do you want another drink or pastry? It’s my treat.” He offered while he wore his eyeglasses again.
“Really? Wow, thank you.” My broke ass won’t let this one pass.
“On one condition. You’ll tell me about yourself too.”
“Okay.” You beamed. “But I think you’ll be bored.”
“Nope. I am all ears.” He smiled.
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“Excuse me.” A barista walked to your table and smiled at both of you. “We will close in ten minutes, any additional orders?”
The both of you shook your head and thanked the barista. He went inside again.
You looked at your wristwatch. "It's almost midnight already?!"
"Really? Time flies so fast." Akaashi said. You did not see it but he looked at you with his soft eyes.
“So... Let’s go?”
“Yeah, yeah.”
The both of you packed up your things and went inside. He bowed to the store manager, then the both of you exited the coffee shop. It was so cold outside that you could see your and Akaashi’s breath. You tucked your hand inside your pockets.
“Hey. Did you also tell the manager about Bokuto and Kuroo?” You asked him.
“Yes. Thank god she is also cooperative.”
“You really thought about this, huh?”
“Of course. However, tomorrow, it’s finally time for me to appear before my friends.”
“I think Bokuto will bawl his eyes out.”
The both of you laughed.
When your giggles subsided, Akaashi spoke. “So…”
“Yeah, uhm, I’ll go this way.” You pointed at the other path. “The cabs are this way.”
“Alright.”
“Thank you, Keiji. Goodbye.” You smiled at him and started to walk away. I like him, I like to know him more, but god, he just came from a breakup. If I get attached, that would count as taking advantage of a vulnerable person, right?! You overthink as you felt your heart getting heavy with every step you take. I am very much going to regret this tomorrow. Very much. You continued to walk down the narrow path, thinking about the many things that happened today.
You are seriously pondering when you suddenly hear Akaashi shout your name, making you stop in your tracks. You turned around and he immediately appeared from your view, running, and halted in front of you.
“W-wait.” He panted, catching his breath. “You told me to be honest with my feelings.”
You just blinked at him, already panicking on the inside.
He fished his phone out of his pocket and handed it to you. “Please input your phone number. I want to see you again.”
“B-but Tokyo is far from Miyagi --”
“Ah ah ah.” He copied the way you interrupted him earlier and smirked. “It will be worth the drive.”
You felt your heart beat faster as if it wanted to escape your ribcage. “Okay.” You mustered as you typed your number in his phone and thanked the gods that it is somehow dark or else he will see your tomato cheeks right now.
You looked up at him and handed him his phone with your cold, trembling hands.
“This not a fake number?”
“What? No.”
“Just making sure.” He smiled at you.
The moon has never been so bright that night.
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